#588: Mending Fences

A fence costs hundreds of thousands of dollars.

Like, there's a reason I'm watching it is because I'm I'm dumb.

Well, you know, if you're going to present it, you don't want to present it for the first time with, like, an unsightly scab.

Tell him, Steve, Dave.

Hello, and welcome to this week's edition of Tell him Steve Dave.

Hey, Walt.

Hello.

And BQ.

Hello.

By the magic of electronics coming in from his home.

I had to zoom in today.

Yeah.

Nice day to zoom in, though, because it's fucking shitty as hell.

It's pouring rain out there.

It's cold.

It's wet.

I don't want to go into the weather right away, but

I will go into like

not being crazy about being a homeowner.

I got to tell you.

Every time I took the fucking wind, we had this strong wind the other day.

Yeah, I remember it.

Blew my fucking fence right over.

Cracked it, broke it.

And

that shit's expensive.

Oh, yeah.

If you weren't already, you know,

you know, having a problem with too heavy of a pocket with cash, I would say get out of the TV game and get into the fencing game because that's where the money is.

A fence costs hundreds of thousands of dollars.

No, I know.

I put a fence around my whole property and that, and like some brick and stuff, and it was like more expensive than it's landscaping.

It'll get you every time, man.

I couldn't shit.

Like a vinyl fence, stockade fence is

like half the house.

It felt like.

It's crazy, right?

I'm just like, what are you doing?

You're not building a moat and filling it with alligators and building a drawbridge that's going to keep out Kong.

And the worst part is, it's like, it's not even that hard to do.

Like, you could probably learn to do it and save yourself a ton of money by the way.

Oh, it's hard.

It's hard, back breaking work there.

You got a fucking porcelain.

I don't, no, I don't mean like that.

I mean, like, you could do it.

I think you could learn how to do it and you could watch a YouTube thing and throw up a fence.

You know that fence would not last a day.

I thought I was talking about it.

Fucking put the post in.

You screw the plastic pots together.

It's all set.

Saves $600,000.

The only way I'm attempting to put up a fence myself is if there's an expert fence guy right next to me or like Edgar or somebody who fucking knows what they're doing.

I watched, I went to get my oil change yesterday and there's a, it was like a YouTube video that was up there about how to like put put putty on the side of a car and do this and that.

And they're like, and then just do this and then just do that.

And I'm like, are you fucking kidding me?

Like, it looks impossible.

Like, I can't do any of this.

Yeah,

I can't do any of it.

I couldn't smooth the putty to how they had it.

I couldn't put the fucking fender on how they had it.

It's just like, why do you, why does everyone in these YouTube videos act like, like, there's a reason I'm watching it.

It's because I'm dumb.

And I don't know how to do any of this shit.

You're not dumb.

So like I need a step-by-step.

Like you need half steps.

You're not handy i'm not handy

and you gotta you gotta like remember that and not be so hard on yourself have you guys ever called in somebody a repairman or or some sort of serviceman and the guy has shown up and it's somebody you knew from high school almost every time that's all i do is hire people i know oh i didn't like on purpose though oh yeah okay i didn't do it on purpose so when the guy came out to put my fence up he was a guy i knew from high school and i was like

cha-ching

He's gonna fucking hook me up.

I kind of knew you.

We talked, I think, in 1985 for during in-between class because you needed homework or something.

You were telling me your dream to become a fencer to help friends,

and it did not work out how I thought it was going to work out.

It did not parlay into a nice sweet discount.

That sucks.

I have had firehouse guys

work on my house because, you know, they all have side business and stuff.

And like, they try, you know, they'll try to, they'll be like, ah, you know, dude, you know, because we're all friends.

I've gone and helped them on shit.

But then that's like, I feel guilty.

So I just like,

I just pay them what I think they should get anyway.

Yeah, because, well, I think it's harder for you because, you know, you're on TV.

It's like, how on earth do you just like, how do you not feel a little guilty about trying to get like cut corners here and there?

But but when this guy came over, this was pre-comic book.

I mean, this is like, like, early 2001 or something.

So I thought, like, I would, that Henry Hudson Brotherhood was going to,

you know, help me.

None of Q's friends can walk into his house and take seriously Q's.

Like, yeah, I'm a little short this week.

Any chance to help you?

Yeah, but it's fucking bullshit because it goes the other way, too.

Because, like, they'll do work.

And, like, you know, sometimes you hire firemen, you get firemen work.

You're drinking beers, having pizza, you're talking gossip all fucking day.

I'm doing, I'm like out there mixing cement with them and shit like that.

And then like a year later, like it's fucking chipping.

And then I, and then like, I'm like, buddy, like, you know, then you got to do the thing where it's like, oh, man, should this be happening to the cement?

You know what I mean?

That thing of like, where it's like, where if it...

It wasn't my buddy, I'd be like, dude, what's going on?

Like,

it's fucking working.

So I've actually had to hire a separate company to come in and fix the work that my friends friends did because I was too embarrassed to call my friends and went like

I'm talking about it.

Like you're you're in a difficult, precarious situation with your with how, you know, your career and everything.

You can't I know.

Why didn't they think of me?

It's so difficult being BQ.

It's hard, man.

It's fucking hard.

My cement's chipping over here.

It's sloughing.

Well, if we're going to discount every problem I have just because I'm on TV, then what the fuck am I doing here?

My cement's chipping.

Why don't you make a fucking TV show about it?

No, go ahead.

I was going to say,

it's just like not being a homeowner.

I wake up and the fence is destroyed.

It's somebody else's problem.

And that's what I love.

But like around the house, every fucking time I turn around, there's something that's my problem.

I'm shocked that your fence would, because you have a lot of

other houses, trees to block that wind.

Over where I'm at, though, I mean, there's nothing.

It comes like right off that water.

It comes right off.

So, yeah, so my fence also broke.

My fence broke a while ago from

the winds, but that fence stood there since 2001

and it finally it cracked and um

we still haven't gotten it fixed yet we just put a i uh i got some cinder blocks

um and i put it up against the i wedged it up against the the part that's kind of opening and uh we just want to keep make sure socks stays in that's all right so we really don't care that that's my level of fixing shit too it's like if i pile up enough stuff next to it maybe it won't fall

that's why you got to get the fence with the

chain link fence because the wind goes right through it.

You'll never have to worry about the wind taking a battering on your fence then.

Yeah, it's not a bad idea.

I was going to say, it doesn't look as nice as the white vinyl around the pool, like a chain link fence.

But I don't know.

It was disappointing.

Mary Beth's like, did you look outside?

Like, no, what?

Like, as if it's supposed to be something good

or something I'll be excited by, not like, what the fuck?

Because at first I thought, dude, I'm going to get killed, I think, because like all my trees have like this green stuff on the bark and the branches just fall.

Oh, yeah, that's not good.

Yeah, it's

insane.

Yeah, I mean, forget the house.

I'm like, the dog's going to get squashed or Mary Beth or worse.

You got to get a tree expert out there.

Now I got to get a tree guy.

The trees ain't cheap either.

They might recommend, you know, cutting some of them down.

And then I think you need permission from the town to cut them down, too.

Right, because they're too old and big.

Yeah.

Yeah, well, I took some trees down.

I had to get death certificate for trees to show the city that I could take them down.

Oh, that they were dead?

Yeah, you think those are cheap?

And by the way,

those trees were fucking healthy.

All you're doing is a pay a guy to come down and be like, well, you know, I could give you a death certificate for this.

You know what I mean?

It's fucking all a scam.

It's all bullshit.

Follow the money.

Follow the fucking money.

See where it all flows.

I like the idea of Q sitting alone in his basement yelling this shit.

Nobody hearing him, just the cats are scared.

What's that?

Just scurries under the couch.

Fuck it.

I think the headline from after this episode drops is: Q condemns tree industry.

Yeah.

Q anti-arborist.

They're all crooked.

That's the quote.

You said make a public apology.

I never met a tree man who didn't try and fuck me.

What do you think of that?

Tree industry.

There is a guy who, again, a person we knew from school who has a thriving tree business.

You always see his trucks around our place.

Oh, yeah.

Boiling.

Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Yeah, boiling.

He's got several trucks.

There must be some money in it, man.

Oh, hell yeah.

Oh, yeah.

It's dangerous work, too.

I've watched videos.

Oh, it's like they cut down.

And then the tree swings down and knocks them out of the fucking sky.

Yeah, it's dangerous work cutting down trees.

So cute, man.

maybe the next time you call in a tree guy, take in consideration.

We're putting our life on the line for you.

They all run that scam where it's like, well, this is the amount it is if you pay on card, but if you pay cash, this is the amount of money it is.

It's like, motherfuckers, everybody's getting away with it.

Yeah, I've gotten that a couple times myself.

Like, if you pay cash.

Now, why is that?

Is that because Uncle Sam may not hear about it?

I mean, not to.

May not.

Or is that just a myth that they definitely report all the cash transactions they take in?

I would argue that they do not.

They do not

tell the cash transactions.

They pay their guys in cash at the end of the day.

I see it.

I watch it.

By the way, I'm joking.

I'm not really hating.

If I can get away with it, I would.

I totally.

I just can't.

Yeah, I got my...

My chimney cleaned last year, and it's supposed to be X amount of dollars.

And he goes up there and he's like, yeah, well, the flashing's coming off, so it's going to cost a little bit extra to nail that back up.

And I'm just like, I'm at everybody's fucking mercy.

We're all at everybody's mercy.

You just have to, like, whether it's a fucking car or your fence or your chimney or whatever the fuck, you're at somebody else's mercy.

Well, not if you were handy, though.

Yeah.

Yeah, and you can go up.

I could climb up on the roof and be like, aha.

Exactly.

Yeah.

So you're at their mercy because

you and I, I should say, are at their mercy because we've spent a lifetime

me reading comics and

fucking off and not doing, not paying attention or trying to learn tasks.

And I don't know what you were doing.

I was probably, I was taking drugs.

I was wasting time.

Whatever it was, I'm not handy.

But you're like, I had a handy father, though.

I should have grown up.

Like, Darren is, like, Darren's, now he's down in Georgia running jobs and stuff.

Like, he's real handy and good at that kind of stuff

you always were you are never gonna you were always gonna rebel against your dad though you were never gonna be able to be that cat who is gonna soak up his daddy's knowledge you were always gonna buck him and always like be like you know like at every turn no matter what it was that's just your nature though that's the it is in my nature

rebel nature that everybody looks where it got me looking destroyed fences suspect chimneys well i mean at the end of the day that's where every rebel goes you know but eventually they get broken and they realize that they were wrong and that it was stubborn and hard.

I made a huge mistake.

It was for naught.

Yeah, all that fighting.

And it's just like, over what?

Who was I rebelling against?

Fucking

authority.

Authority in general, yeah.

But see, that's Edgar's fault because

my parents came down on me so hard when I was like much younger that like you have no, you have no

You have no other alternative but to buck authority and be like, fuck this man.

Okay.

Or you could be a good boy.

Yeah.

Yeah.

I was going to say, there are other, there are other avenues, not just fuck this.

I remember when I was in the firehouse, I was reading The Stand, the Stephen King book, and I had a moment of like, oh, this is cool because if the world ended,

like,

and I survived, I was one of the ones that didn't die at Captain Tripps.

I was like, oh, I could be useful to society.

I can go to a firehouse and get the rigs going and like, you know what I mean?

And like, help out and be like, this is it and like

now i'm just like what the fuck am i gonna do if i live in the stand i'm gonna be like who wants to laugh anybody want to juggle

anybody want to be a practically joke for some corn like i'm like useless

toilet use

yeah i'm like nothing now but you still haven't you haven't forgotten all your fireman knowledge right

no i haven't or has it advanced or have things advanced and now you don't know the ways the new faculty

hasn't really advanced.

The rules have advanced, but you know, that shit's bullshit.

Like, like the technology is

bang chicks on the back of the fire truck anymore.

Yeah, like I said,

post-apocalyptic cue.

I just pull out the hose bed on the back and I put a mattress on it.

I don't know how to put out fires anymore, but I know how to start them, honey.

It's like, ew, you're 50.

Yeah.

Get thrust.

Watch these high-pressured hoes.

Ew.

I'm 17.

It's the post apocalyptic.

Oh, you are.

Oh, shit.

It's an apocalypic wasteland.

Anything goes.

Apocaliptic.

Apocaliptic.

Get away.

I just go in the firehouse.

I'm like, I got this.

I start a fire truck and I actually put a reverse and just slam it to the back of the building.

The sirens go off.

Water just starts pouring out.

I got this.

I got this.

That's a pretty good point, like, post-apocalyptic.

Like, you know, we look over, a bomb goes off in New York, and suddenly it's like, all right, now you got to fend for yourself.

Like, without

Instacart.

What's that?

That's like a food shopping service.

I don't know how much of that is.

It's DoorDash except for groceries.

Yeah, exactly.

So without Instacart, my wife is not.

I mean, all the stores are going to be cleared out anyway.

So now I got to hunt for food.

Although I do have deer coming in my backyard every once in a while.

So you would, I probably would have to hunt one.

You would hunt one of them.

What are your

odds, I think, that you could bag a deer?

Like, now you got guns, so

that helps out a little bit.

But then how are you going to cook it and everything?

Can you even start a fire?

I can start a fire, yeah, if I have some gas.

Some dry stuff.

Well, again,

Mad Max shows us that gas is going to

be at a premium.

That's true.

They're going to take your gas the first day.

I go out to start my fire.

I'm like, fuck's my gas.

They took my gas already.

Well, you guys are assuming that in the Mad Max future, like people aren't going to need podcasts.

They might.

They might.

We might be the last bastion of human communications, is podcasters.

But there are so many podcasters now.

You could spit and hit a podcaster nowadays, though.

This is true, but I'm figuring.

Sometimes you want to if it's the Mike and Ming show.

You found it.

You found a way to get it in.

Yeah, but you've got to figure Captain Tripps has killed most podcasters.

Right?

Joe Rogan's gone.

Joe Rogan's gone.

Shane Gillis.

So all the big wigs are gone.

We're the only ones standing.

Taste Buds is gone.

Taste Buds is over.

Memorial episode.

DeRosa died and we ate Sal.

That would be something, though, if Captain Tripp swept through and somehow all three of us

contacted each other.

We're like, we all survived?

How the fuck?

It has a 99.9% death rate.

Yeah.

But that's the way you, like, when you you picture it, though, that's the way you picture it is like the people around you that you care about still being there.

Right.

And you're going through it together, but chances are that's not going to happen.

99% of the people you know are dead.

Right.

But I have one that's.

I have a serious question.

Do you think the internet will still be up and running if Mad Max becomes.

I was going to say, wouldn't the Internet just fall?

Like, don't there have to be people who keep the Internet up?

Yeah.

I don't think that'll happen.

Yeah.

We'd have to do live shows, Walt.

You'd have to

break your rule.

Or were the people like the big wigs and the government and everything, they go into their bunkers.

Wouldn't they keep the internet up, though?

Or is it just they keep the internet up just for them?

I think the infrastructure

would not last.

I wish we had somebody at the table who could

who could fill us in on these questions like this.

I noticed people that have the keys to the internet, though.

And in a doomsday scenario, there's like five people who have the keys to the internet, though.

And they would have to all come together and put their keys into the internet ignition

and turn it so that the internet turns back on.

But damn it, I just wish we had somebody that

could fill us in on that.

But, oh, well.

I hear his keys clicking and clacking over there.

Google it later, I guess.

I watched

JFK last night for the first time in years.

Do you want Oliver Stone one?

Yeah.

Oh, fuck.

Wise bunch of birds.

I'm back in it, man.

I'm back in the conspiracy.

I'm wondering who killed him.

Giddam, any thoughts?

He basically knows who did it, but he's unable to talk and fill us in, unfortunately.

People are upset.

Yeah, this could be put to rest if Giddam were allowed back on Mike.

The Warrant Commission actually, you know, cited Gidham's theory as one of the most possible outcomes, but

unfortunately, you know, due to listener

feedback, he's not able to weigh in and tell us why

or how JFK was murdered.

Due to listener feedback.

So after watching, do you think government or mob?

Who do you...

Or lone gunman theory.

I mean,

I always like to believe the easiest answer because it just makes my life easier.

But it sure did seem like, I mean, look, I also know that movie's not really factually correct, right?

Like, he made shit up for the movie and stuff.

So, you know, but I like to think that, I mean, it's crazy.

They can't kill the president like that, right?

Like, it had to be.

You would think not, but

I don't know.

The more you find out about the government, the more you're like, yeah, it's entirely possible.

Like, if they said, like, oh, yeah, check it out.

We never went to the moon.

I would not be.

I wouldn't even feel like...

Like a lot of people would feel maybe embarrassed or let down or whatever.

I just, I wouldn't even be shocked.

Like, I wouldn't even be surprised if they're like, guess what, guys?

We were, we were, look, we were neck and then they explained it.

Like, look, we were neck and neck with the Ruskies.

We really wanted to beat you know in the space race.

But then it's really embarrassing if you're an American because other countries have gone to the moon very recently.

And

we still haven't gotten there then.

That means.

Well,

we've put landers on the moon, but people,

humans on the moon.

Have these other, like, didn't India send up a rocket?

Was that manned?

Did they get out and walk around?

Or was that just a...

Giddam shaking his head, no, they did not have a manned.

Get him saying they set up a convenience store on the moon.

Yeah, I think there's only been Americans on the moon, on the actual human on the moon.

But we've send landers up there.

We've got other things up there.

So, yeah.

But if it came out, yeah, you're right.

It wouldn't be.

Because I remember early in telling Steve, Dave Walt, you felt that if it ever came out that the moon landing was fake, that society would unravel.

Do you remember saying that?

That always struck me.

It's, I think it would be, I kind of walked that back a little now.

I think we've seen so many

different things come to light

that you never would have thought could happen.

And

I think society would not

unravel, but I think there would be a like a sorrow and

like a

shame.

Like a demoralizer.

Yeah,

it would demoralize.

A large segment would not give a fuck.

Like, it doesn't affect me.

I don't care.

You know, business as usual.

I think that so many people...

I mean, doesn't it seem that a lot of people that live in the country fucking hate the country or don't see America for what it is, which is the best country in the history of the human race.

It doesn't feel like people, it feels like most people are just tearing down the United States these days and like criticizing it with snark and bullshit.

So it's like, I don't even know that people would

even feel embarrassed because they are already supported.

Some patriots would.

I think older people would.

Yeah, I think some patriotic people would definitely.

I think you're right.

Some people wouldn't.

And you're right about people.

I think it's the internet vibe.

You know, it's made people just

dislike everything.

Like, nothing's good.

Everything sucks.

Everything is

deserving of like...

I mean, of course, everything

can be criticized, but there does seem to be

an aura of

just

not

pleased with anything, especially the country that brought Kathy Q.

Oh, did we lose Q?

Yeah.

Oh, shit.

I just think that there's...

I wonder if it's like that in every country, though.

Does every country have a segment of the population that just doesn't

love their own country?

You mean like the Canadians, are they that vocal about

how much they don't like America and Switzerland and

England or Europe?

England and Europe and all the countries in Europe?

Well, France, don't they fucking riot every hundred years?

They start beheading people.

So I would say they probably.

France?

France?

I mean,

isn't their whole history based on people rising up and

attacking their government?

Isn't that like...

Are they dealing with riots at France right now?

I don't think so.

Not in the moment.

Well, if not at the moment, it's been the last few years.

Yeah.

Oh, yeah.

Yeah, there were big, big riots, especially during the pandemic.

Yeah, but I mean, their whole history is they used to chop heads off and fucking take out governments and kill kings and queens.

So maybe, yeah, so maybe it is, you know, maybe it is a worldwide thing, but I'm just like, I don't know.

Yeah, there is one.

There's a 2024 French farmers protest going on right now.

Well, protest is different, right?

Protest is more of an issue-based thing, wouldn't you say?

As opposed to like a total trashing of a country and being like, because

if the farmers are protesting, they're protesting whatever, corn prices or some bullshit but like people who are like

what the hell is that

it's rain

from where from heaven what happened

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I got to talk about a funny grooming story.

Oh, shit.

I don't know if I have any.

You have any funny grooming stories, Walt?

You know,

I used to groom with, this is true.

I used to groom without

Manscape.

And I would, on a critical night, I nicked.

I did a little nick.

Oh, no.

And it kind of ruined the night.

And, you know, so I don't know if that's a funny story, but that did happen to me.

That's a tragic story.

She probably thought it was like an open source, and you're like, come here.

I canceled the whole night.

I nicked it.

Did you?

Wow.

Yeah.

That bad of a nick,

Yeah.

So, you know.

Sounds like more than a nick.

No, you're like, it's just cut.

Well, you know, if you're going to present it, you don't want to present it for the first time with like an unsightly scab.

Yeah, but where are we talking about?

Could it have been like

playfully covered up by like maybe like a rose or something?

Merkin.

I was more concerned about taste than visual.

Oh, you were concerned.

Yeah,

you don't get all blood in her mouth and scab and shit.

Like,

you have all the lights out when she gets there, just so she doesn't.

Yeah, that's not the impression that you want to make.

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Would it have ruined the moment if, like, you know, like she got your jeans off and you had a band-aid on over it?

Probably.

Like it was wrapped in gauze, like a mummy.

Like you just had a little band-aid.

Like one of those little circles.

A Superman band-aid on the table.

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Nothing like a little spring cleaning in your pants.

Mm-hmm.

Indeed.

All right.

So we got those out of the way.

All right.

I had a moral.

I advised my friend on a moral.

Well, I tried to advise him.

He didn't fucking listen to me at all.

The horse had already left the barn.

But I went out with a bunch of high school buddies the other night, right?

I just imagine you hanging out with a bunch of 10th graders right now.

No, no.

I knew them when they were 10th graders, but not now.

So we went out, and it was like six of us out.

And I don't want to name names at all because this is like, you know,

but my buddy's wife's sister has moved into the house with him.

It has for a year, about a year now.

I live on Staten Island, and the sister moved in the house.

I didn't see the sister, but I haven't seen the sister, but he shows me she's good looking.

And

he said that

he said

he made a comment to his wife that, is it cheating if me and your sister sit on opposite ends of the couch and masturbate?

And

I started laughing and I go, and as a joke, I went, well, what did our sister say?

Being like, there's no fucking way that

he would have told the sister.

He goes, no, I told her.

He goes, I asked her.

He goes, and she was like, I don't know.

And I was like, this is fucking crazy.

I'm like, dude, you've got to stop saying this shit to your wife and your your wife's sister, man.

I was like, that is fucking insane.

Like,

am I prudish?

Am I off the mark or is that not a good idea?

I don't think you're prudish, but it is not a good idea because then it sows seeds.

So seeds of doubt in that wife's mind.

Like, why is he even asking that?

Why is he even thinking about it?

It's not just a crazy scenario.

It doesn't.

Honestly, the more I dug, the more it sounded like he was trying to make it happen.

And I was like, dude, I don't think you should be doing this, man.

Like, I don't know, man.

It's his sister and all that stuff.

That does sound like dangerous territory.

It does, but he was like, yeah, then he's like, he's like, sometimes I go in the gym and they're working out together.

And I just look at them both working out.

And I'm like, dude, you got to fucking stop whatever you're doing right now.

You got to get that sister out of the fucking house.

But then I thought about it and I was like, am I just turning, am I getting old?

Am I, would a younger me have embraced this scenario?

Well, what's tough is you're like, they're married, right?

It's not even like it's just a girlfriend.

It's as if Marybeth came to you and was like, is it cheating if me and Darren got off on the couch together?

Like, what's your response to that?

It's the craziest fucking thing.

To which I would be like, how much have you had to drink?

Like, what are you talking about?

But yeah, I would say, yeah.

Yeah, it's cheating.

I don't know.

It's not even really a question.

Well, I don't know.

Is the wife in on it?

If the wife is okay with it,

it sounded like she laughed it off, but I don't know that laughing it off is giving approval.

It's the same as if she walks in and sees it after that and it's like, whoa.

Yeah, I don't think she giggles.

I don't know.

I don't know.

I was sort of curious to hear what you guys.

Well, I guess I kind of knew what you guys were going to think about it, but I was blown away.

I was just blown away that this is going on in the world on Staten Island of all places.

On Staten Island.

Just a hop, skip, and a jump away from our backyards, Walt.

Yeah, that's a good one.

Just got a sexual deviancy going on that bastion of it if purity Staten Island

but

is there a world where it's not cheating

a world in which the wife is like sure go ahead that's crazy

or is it crazy is it still cheating but authorized

I don't know let's do another poll and find out I don't know it just seems like such a crazy

and I spent like an hour trying to tell him like I don't think you should be saying things like that to your.

You were counseling him.

I was trying because, like, I just doesn't seem like it could end anywhere good.

I mean, sure, it could end up with him and the sister jerking off on a couch, but, like, it just seems like

a bad idea.

It seems such a short-sighted idea.

Because then, what's next after that?

Okay, we masturbated on opposite ends of the couch.

We checked each other out.

We did that.

Yeah, I told him I don't know.

I don't know what comes next.

It's always a drip.

I was like, I don't even think you should be flirting with your sister-in-law, dude.

Like, I think it's a bad, it's a bad start, but

I was told that I was wrong.

How old are they?

Really?

Well, I went to high school with them.

Okay, how long have they been married?

Maybe 15 years, I guess.

He has the itch.

Yeah.

I feel like Walt Flanagan never got the itch.

No, no itches.

No, he's scratch-free.

This Walt Flanagan.

Yeah.

That's nice.

That's nice to be scratch-free.

Yeah.

To be completely happy in your relationship is so rare.

I don't know, man.

I don't know.

All right.

All right.

All right.

I'm just blown.

I can't get it out of my mind because I'm just like, this is such a, I can't imagine saying that out loud.

Did it seem like it was going to happen?

Like, even after your.

Well, his response.

I don't know because he.

Because his sister-in-law has to be into it as well, right?

That's what I'm saying.

He kept going back to her response of like,

I don't know.

Maybe it's cheating.

Or it's just like, I don't know.

Like, wouldn't you want your brother to be like, no, that's cheating.

We probably shouldn't do that.

Yeah, yeah.

I wouldn't want anything leading to like possibly the next step, like even them just sitting on the same couch together.

I would forbid it.

Yeah, suddenly their feet are touching while they do it.

Mm-hmm.

Yeah.

Uh-huh.

That's how it starts.

Playing footsie and shit.

Yeah.

That seems like bad news, eh?

Walt.

Oh, yeah.

Yeah.

The worst kind of news.

Yeah.

That was a weird, weird weird conversation.

Q's out there, man.

I saw Q getting drunk with Steve Byrne.

Steve Byrne.

I haven't seen Byrne in a while.

Really?

I just saw something on Instagram where you guys were doing some drinking and presenting a

something for IJ, it looked like.

You were presenting a

bit.

Oh, was it?

Yeah, like a year and a half ago.

Oh, okay.

I saw Q.

I'm like, damn, he's out and about.

He's getting drunk with it.

Steve Byrne

was on our pod once.

He was into Pittsburgh hockey and stuff.

Pittsburgh Penguins hockey.

He was a comedian that he had a special, so he came on and we talked to him for a little bit.

Gotcha.

Yeah, great guy.

Opened for us for

no memory of it.

You know how many pods we've done?

You know how many pods that I have done?

It's like

they seem countless.

Like you couldn't even begin to imagine how many pods I've been on.

And

I don't, unless Steve Byrne said something like that, super memorable, other than he likes Pittsburgh Penguin hockey.

If that's the only thing that was it, yeah, then I don't know if I remember it.

Oh, speaking of comedians, and this is something that Troy hit me to, and he uh, he was like, You gotta watch it, you gotta watch it.

The more somebody tells me I gotta watch something, the more afraid I am I'm not gonna like it, and then I have to go back to the person and be like, Yeah, you know, whatever.

But he recommended the new Shane Gillis stand-up on uh Netflix.

Oh, yeah, dude, who did this?

So fucking good.

Troy, Troy recommended it, Troy, yeah,

And Shane Gillis is.

Shane Gillis, who was.

It sounds like a country singer.

Yeah, it does, right?

Yeah.

He's a comedian, and he was supposed to be on SNL.

And

some

audio came out of him on a podcast doing like an Asian voice or something like that.

You know, it was at the prime cancellation time.

This is a couple of years back, I guess, a year and a half back.

And boom, suddenly he's offensive.

Who would ever do an Asian voice to try to get laughs?

I know.

It's crazy, right?

Lowest common denominator type shit.

My apology for the Ching Chang song is on record.

No, no,

I was thinking of the Ming voice.

I probably will never get on SNL now.

Yeah, yeah.

You've probably burned it.

Because I knew about it and still did it anyway.

That's the rebel in me.

Fuck you, Lorne Michaels.

You ain't going to stop me.

Well, I mean, but he brought him on.

He brought Shane on.

He actually did bring him on, which I wish Shane Gillis had been like, I'm good.

Because they fired.

I mean,

he never got to be on SNL.

And then years later,

he's popular enough.

I think he has the number one Patreon.

Oh, really?

Yeah, he's got something nuts, like 80,000 followers or something like that.

Does he do fucking gifts like, you know, like a clock with Frank Five's face on it?

I don't think so.

I think he just sits there and talks.

Yeah.

Speaking of recommendations, I got some recommendations too to watch shit.

Something that's very like popular and very,

like, everybody's, I guess, seen at least one episode, but I hadn't up until getting the recommendation.

Frank Five, speaking of Frank, he was like, him and his wife are like, if you're looking for a TV show to binge, you know, night, like you guys got to watch Frazier.

And my mom was like, she echoed that.

Oh, my God, it's so good.

You'll love Frazier.

I'm four seasons in, seasons in.

And I'm like, you don't like it.

I'm like, what the fuck?

I don't get Frasier.

I don't get the appeal.

There's nothing that happens.

It's the same jokes over and over again.

I mean, I'm going to get through.

I'm going to power through it, but I'm like, how many seasons?

Like nine or something?

It's like nine seasons.

I've been like season four.

Eleven?

I think it's like 11 seasons.

Yeah.

It's long and it's harmless and it's

and it's fine, but

it doesn't rise to the level of like, you know, to the stature that people place it in, like with The Office and some other great comedies, television comedies.

See, I enjoy it more than The Office.

Frazier?

The American Office.

Yeah.

I'm not a big fan of The American Office.

You like Frazier.

I'm surprised you like Frazier.

Yeah, I do like Frazier.

I liked it more than Cheers.

That's insane.

Whoa.

Yeah, I did like it more than Cheers.

Wow, all right.

I don't know.

It's just like their sense of humor.

I like the old dad.

Right.

I like the back and forth with Niles.

Yeah, I like the back and forth with Niles and Frazier.

Okay.

And yeah, Daphne, too.

Again, it's harmless.

It's fluff.

But I can.

You're right.

It's a safe show.

I could find a million shows that are better from the way.

And I don't mean to bash Frazier.

I'm really more bashing Frank and my mom's recommendations for how strong they were.

Like, you are going to love it.

How could you have never seen an episode of Frasier?

And I was like, just never happened.

And so I've been watching it nightly.

And I'm just waiting for that one episode to finally click.

Yeah, well, Frank Pipe has a history of recommending not great shows.

He recommended The Waltons to me,

you know, off of my Little House on the Prairie affinity.

And I watched it, and I watched a bunch of episodes, and I'm like, there's fucking 11 people.

I don't know anybody's name.

None of them have shoes.

They're dirt poor.

Nothing good ever happens to them.

They're constantly getting like robbed or like

with Little House on the Prairie, something bad would happen, but then something good would happen.

Waltons, it's like something bad just happens.

He does have a good track record, though, before this.

He recommended The Middle, and I really really love that show.

So I was all in on Frank Five's recommendations.

But now I have to.

Now you got a question?

Yeah, now all of a sudden my world's topsy-turvy when,

and I don't know if I can trust Frank's opinion on television any longer.

I started watching Shogun on FX.

The new one.

Holy shit, it's so fucking good, Walt.

Really?

It's awesome.

Yeah.

Is it all subtitled?

Because I almost watched it the other day on your recommendation, and then I was not in the mood to read.

It is a lot.

All the Japanese language is subtitled, yeah.

But you don't care.

I mean, it's just like, it's so good, dude.

Did you remember the original?

Were you too young?

Only thing I remember in the little one is that scene where Chamberlain got pissed on by the guy.

Do you remember that?

It's hard to forget, right?

I rarely see it on TV.

What the fuck is going on?

I'm like, I remember as a kid being like kind of upset and disturbed by it.

Yeah, oh, yeah.

It was like me with the monkeys

when one of of the monkeys was in the bathtub being paraded down Broadway.

Right, exactly.

Yeah, and they recreate that scene in this one, and I guess I'm just jaded now because I wasn't at all.

Well, what happened?

I didn't watch the original show, going somebody got pissed on.

Yeah,

what was the scenario in that again?

So, Richard Chamberlain, his ship

washers up in Japan.

It's like a shipwreck thing, you know, and he's an Englishman, and he comes on, and he's like trying to fuck at 1600 Japan, and he's trying to like, you know, be like, what the fuck's the matter with you people?

You know, he's going after the Japanese, telling them like they're bad hosts.

They don't understand him, but he's being very aggressive.

And he starts grabbing his cock in their direction, like that old Braveheart style thing.

So the samurai lord of the village or whatever

has his men hold him down.

He just pisses on his back and on his head and then throws him in jail.

That's pretty funny.

That sucks.

Yeah, I didn't know as a kid such a thing could happen.

Yeah, I agree with you because it's like, what, 1984?

And

you just don't expect that.

You're like, you're watching Fonzie jump, you know, 15 garbage cans about an hour earlier, and all of a sudden now someone's getting urinated on.

Yeah.

You flip the dial and you did not expect that to see that in the same evening.

No, I mean, you know, so that, but now it's, but it is great.

It is fucking great.

And there's only two episodes so far, so jump on.

Do Do you think it's if

he had said,

My brother lives with us and we're going to jerk off on the couch together, is it gay?

Is it gay?

Is it ancestrally gay if you jerk off on the other side?

Well, this brother's your brother?

Brother-in-law.

Oh, brother-in-law.

I thought you said brother.

Yeah.

Oh, yeah.

He doesn't think gayer than that.

No, you could have just like a.

Unless, yeah, you crawl across the couch to each other.

Yeah.

Unless your foot starts touching.

Little fits, you action.

I can't get over the rules of this one.

But yeah, Shogun is so fucking good, man.

It's dope.

You'll love it.

You'll love it.

Did you see Dune?

You know, I did not like the first Dune.

Oh, I saw the second one.

Is it good?

I liked it.

I thought it was like

cinematography is

breathtaking.

You know, it's like, poof.

You can't get a better shot film.

And I don't mind the storyline, but I went with Gidem because he loves Dune.

And the whole time that he's watching it, I just keep looking over at him because he's making it verbally known without saying anything that he's not happy.

The same shit people complain about here.

Crazy and shit.

And he's

making it known that he's not pleased with what some of the things are.

Whatever direction it's going.

Because he's a book junkie for it.

And

yeah, he was not happy with it.

I saw the first one, like the one back in like 80 or something.

Is that the one you're talking about?

No, no, no.

Now there's a new series.

Yeah, there was.

I don't know.

It feels like it came out like five years ago, the new Dune.

And it was a long time, I thought, between part one and part two.

But the one you're thinking of with Sting?

Was that David Lynch?

Yeah.

Yeah.

I remember not liking it at all.

It's very forgettable.

It's very boring.

But then again, I was like in sixth grade or something when it came out, seventh grade, so I don't don't know if yeah this one's got wild ass costumes um

and

did you feel like there was something weird going on between the mother and the son

like it feels very incestuous didn't it i i barely remember i just remember the first one i i just felt like is anything gonna happen and then when something finally happened the movie ended

Like that's my impression of the first Dune movie.

But is the second one so good that I should go back and re-evaluate?

Because I tried to re-evaluate the Batman.

I watched that recently.

Yeah, and you still

not

clicking?

No.

No, it clicked even less for me.

I don't know.

It's three hours, though.

The new Dune.

It's a long movie.

You went to the theaters to see what to get them?

Yeah.

Wow.

Yeah.

That's a friend.

Was it packed?

Oh, yeah.

It was packed.

Packed.

People loved Dune.

Was everybody making the same noises as Giddam?

It was like, yeah.

I mean, I cannot,

I think you got to see it.

Like, if you're into sci-fi and if you're into like

some really well-presented, like, you know, like there's a lot of attention to detail, costumery, the

just, it's gorgeous.

But is the story that engaging?

It's engaging enough.

I was never like, there's plenty of times in three-hour movie.

I'm like, okay, this must be the end.

And I was like, holy shit, this is not the end.

And it just went on for another half hour.

But

I would recommend watching it.

I think it's worthy of you got three hours to kill.

Well, that means I got to re-watch the first one.

I didn't.

I didn't re-watch it.

I only saw it once.

And

you'll be all right.

You'll be able to pick it up.

You'll be all right.

It's like time is so precious as you get older.

You're like, I guess I'll re-watch this movie I didn't like to watch a movie that I'm probably not going to like.

I'd be shocked if you don't like it.

It reminds me a lot of like Mad Max 2 at times.

Not as much action, but with the

costumes and the way that people dress and

the culture that they try to present.

It's very alien-esque.

I mean, is it telling that like Dune has been in my life since I was a kid?

You know, I never read the books, but it's been around, and I saw the first movie, and I still don't know what the fuck spice is.

I'm like, what is this shit?

I'm like, does it make you psychic?

Is it a drug?

Like, I don't fucking know what spice is.

It grows out of the sand.

What is going on?

Like, did the worm shit it out?

I don't understand fucking spice.

Normally, if there was someone

someone here

again is about to gouge his ears out

and his tongue because he wants to speak right now.

He wants to talk about spice.

He wants to talk about Dune so

and regale you with why you should love the books, but not the movie.

I guess it's something that worms produce that is some sort of

psychotic drug that, like, well, it does bring you to like peote, right?

Certain parts of it.

It doesn't send you tripping and heighten your sentences.

All right, fuck off.

It doesn't matter.

No, I'm genuinely excited for Ghostbusters, man.

It's the first movie in a long time that I've been like, I can't fucking wait for Ghostbusters.

It's so weird because we got trailers, and I remember this.

We're very different,

different flavors of movies.

And I was like, who the fuck wants to see this?

Oh, I can't wait to see it, man.

Yeah, I'm just like, oh, it looks like it's...

Is it all about children again?

No, I think

the OG Ghostbusters are there.

I've been told that the OG Ghostbusters have a much larger role than has even been anticipated in the trailers.

I think you're right.

It looks like they're going to be major players, but yeah.

But then again, I've never been a Ghostbusters guy.

I can watch them and enjoy them for what they are, but I've never been like

one of those super fans.

Got to have the merch, got to live it, breathe it.

Yeah.

I just see Ghostbusters car in his background.

See the one six scale, the one right behind me.

Which is cool.

Like, hey, different strokes are different folks but yeah i and i know that people it's a beloved franchise and for me it's just like it's i'll watch it if it's good i i can admit i like it but other than that yeah it's never been something that like i've had a fever for

uh i mean that first movie is my favorite movie ever in my life ever love that that first ghostbusters movie means so much to me i love it so much um that it's hard not to get excited and then they're hitting the notes then they're like oh you guys remember slimer here's slimer and i'm like oh it's fucking slimer oh here's the actor i just i give it to me but that's i i get it that you there's a certain fan base who like like

who who is out of their seats with joy when they see slimer but for me it's just like we come on man move on give us a different ghost give us something that's like stop going with the state puff guy no matter how many times

yeah if i if i had to make it if I had to make one suggestion, I would be like, maybe we don't need the mini-base stay puff guys in this movie.

But what do I know?

What do I know?

I liked him in the first one, so we'll see.

But man, like when he, when the trailer, when, when, like, I'm assuming it's the

attic of the firehouse, and he goes up there, and it's like all that food wrappers and stuff, and Slimer's been living alone in the firehouse all those years.

Yeah, because I, you know, it's that thing in me that's like, I think comes from comic books where it's like, I love continuity.

I

seeing something come back.

I love knowing the history of something.

I love fan service.

I love, you know what I mean?

Like, that all comes from comic books, from like, oh, fuck, this character's back.

You know what I mean?

I don't know.

I just, it was.

No, no, I get it.

I totally get it.

And again, I'm the in the minority here.

People love that franchise.

I just like it.

I don't love it, but

you know, it's it looks like it's poised to do Bafo business.

I hope so.

I want them to make more and more

and more

and more.

Will they bring back the gals?

Just about to ask that I was waiting.

You want to bring Schlybert back?

Well,

what about they bring back the gal force?

I think that, you know what it is?

I think that.

Name something Leslie Jones doesn't make better.

I think that what's going to happen is enough time is going to go by.

Like what happened with the Phantom Menace.

Remember how much we all fucking hated the Phantom Menace when it came out?

Sure.

And then, and now people are like, all right, it's been 20-something years.

It's the Phantom Menace.

It's always been around.

And kids who grew up on Phantom Menace are like, no, what are you talking about?

Phantom Menace is fucking awesome.

There's a chance that that 2016 Ghostbusters movie gets a re-evaluation in 20 years.

And then they bring them back for a cameo and something else, maybe?

So you want to...

You want to bring them back in 20 years?

I mean, they're

in their hall.

walls.

I don't want to bring them back at all.

I would think, though, like, if

you want Slimer back, if you want Stay Puff back, then you got to want, then you're all in.

Not you.

I'm just talking about the fan base.

You got to embrace it all then.

No, you don't.

Or your false

Buster fans.

I guess.

Embrace it all.

All right.

I'll embrace it.

You got it.

There's no room for that there.

That keeps watching it going, ooh.

They did it in the comic book already.

They did like a team-up between the female team and the male team through like a multi-verse type thing.

Oh, really?

Did you enjoy that?

It was probably the best way to use those characters, I thought.

So it was fine.

Like in the comic book, it was fine.

Will there be any acknowledgement of those characters?

Even in this, like a throwaway line or something.

That's a head scratcher because it would be nice.

It's not a head scratcher at all.

Everybody's trying to forget.

But it's a head scratcher that you just wouldn't kind of like mention them

in some way just to acknowledge the existence, the continuity, the canon, the universe that they're building.

Even a little tongue that you poke at them.

That movie threw out

the main continuity.

It was like, we're doing our own thing, so go do your fucking own thing.

That's true.

Okay.

Yeah.

Oh, wait, you can't do your own thing.

Yeah, because nobody wants you to do your own thing.

People don't want it.

Is that what happened?

But anyway, I'm excited about the new one.

I'm very excited about the new one.

We got trailers for Kong Godzilla, which looks even worse than Ghostbusters.

All right.

And

that's where I was going, ugh.

Yeah.

um, yeah, you know, it's I don't get excited about movies anymore, so it's nice to get excited about something.

I'm sure, you know, I was being too all right.

I think it's, I mean, it does look,

again,

looks like they put a ton of money into it, too.

And the creature looks pretty cool.

Yeah, that sneaker demon or whatever it is.

Like a snow demon, sir.

Yeah, I can't wait, man.

I'm going to go.

I'll let you know.

I'll give you the full

download.

What's his name?

It's definitely working out.

who

um

the go the older ghostbusters not bill murray dan ackero yeah he looks a thousand times better than he did yeah in the last ghostbusters he look oh he got must got a facelift or something i think he lost weight i think he looked really like he looked like 30 years younger than he did in the last ghostbusters and that yeah i thought the same thing i was like oh he saw the he saw the last one it was like let me slim down about 30 years

he's married to dinner dixon right

yeah i think they get did they get divorced or are they still married?

No, I checked the other day.

It seems like random that I would check to see if they were married, but

there's a reason.

And yeah, they're still married.

Oh, well, hey, good for them, man.

I like it when it works out.

Yeah, that's a Hollywood marriage that definitely fucking defied logic and

reason.

And psych.

And somehow, some way, those two kooky kids made it.

They made it.

Nobody's on the couch jerking off with siblings or anything like that.

Everything's fine in that marriage.

That was what?

80s?

Oh, yeah.

80s, right?

84?

Wow.

83 to go.

And who did she leave?

She left.

She left Paul Stanley and married Dan Aykroyd.

Dr.

Detroit.

I don't think that's.

I mean, you could go with anything else besides Dr.

Detroit.

Okay, so

you can be on the arm of Starchild or Dr.

Detroit.

Well, the blues.

I would love to interview Donna Dixon, but it would come across as a little insulting if I was like, How do you go from the Starchild to Dr.

Detroit?

He's like a right here.

I can hear you saying it.

He wasn't a bad-looking guy when he was younger.

He was tall, thin, rich, funny.

Yes, I am not saying it's just the stature and the, you go from the Starchild, basically a rock god.

The lover.

You put fucking Dan Aykruit in that that Unitard?

In those platform boots?

And then you put Paul in there, and you're not telling me he's a rock god?

That chest?

Paul and ghostbusters.

See how that goes.

Oh, you don't think he can pull off?

You don't think he can pull off a fucking onesie?

He pulled off a fucking Unitard.

Not many guys can.

Just ask Edo.

I think Aykroyd could pull it off.

What's that?

I think Aykroyd could pull it off.

You think he can dress as the Starchild and get up on stage and have hundreds of thousands of people fawning for him?

He was a Blues Brother.

He did it.

He performed.

But it's just dumpy.

It's like a dumpy, like, chubby Blues.

He owns the middle-aged.

Are you talking about him now or him back in the 80s?

Even back as a Blues Brothers.

He just looked like he was tall and thin.

That's not true.

Taller than thin than Paul with his platforms on.

He's fucking seven foot five.

I guess the question, really, too, is like she made the right choice because who the fuck cares about Paul Stanley today?

Does anybody?

Yes, we do a podcast on it.

Aside from that,

like,

well, I mean, if he wasn't in Ghostbusters, when's the last time you heard a Dan Aykroyd?

That's a good question, but he's an icon.

Like, he's.

An icon, that's tough.

I mean, if you're going to say he's an icon, then you got to say Paul's an icon too, then.

They're both icons.

Replaced with another guy in makeup?

Didn't they just be like, yo, put this guy?

He was one of the unreplaceable members.

Oh, they never replaced him?

Never replaced him.

To me, his fucking superpower isn't looking good in the leotard.

It's dealing with that fucking guy.

Gene.

Yeah, for Gene.

That's where he gets my respect.

That's where I'm like, yeah, that's fucking...

That's pretty fucking good because you know that was not an easy ride.

He's got to hate that fucking guy.

Well, I mean, it's, I think it's just business, man.

At a certain point, it's like you got it, it's something you just got to deal with.

You got to

put it beside you and just power through it.

Just put on your makeup and you boot.

I had satellite radio for a while, and there was a promo that they would play before every, like when they would play a Kiss song, and it would be Paul Stanley.

And it's like in between songs, and before they played a Kiss song, it'd be like, Paul Stanley of Kiss talks about Gene Simmons.

And it's just like, has it always been easy?

No.

You know, have we disagreed on things?

Of course.

You know, has he been difficult to be around?

Sure.

But at the end of the day, we both saw the vision and we saw it through.

And, you know, we never let the

band falter for other reasons.

And then they played a kiss song.

And I'm like, isn't there a better fucking sound bite you could play than that?

I mean, that to me is a crazy sound bite that you would take to like

talk about like Paul talking about Gene.

There has to be a better one than that.

I mean,

how much worse could it get?

Because they're like, yeah, he's an asshole.

Anyway, here's a kiss song.

That has to be rough.

I mean, I think about like the four of us on Jokers, and I'm like, man, we just like the gift of getting along all these years, you know, for the most part, there's little things here and there, of course, but like, I couldn't imagine like doing it for that long and like not getting along.

Hating.

They got to hate each other, right?

At points.

I've never heard that they hate each other.

But I mean, he's definitely a pill, man.

He's definitely a guy that could probably get on your nerves.

But they probably both have like massive, gigantic galaxy-sized egos, though.

Yeah.

That's good or not, right?

Yeah.

Which is funny because like

I wonder what

people evaluate Kiss as today.

Like, like if someone in their 20s, I wonder if they look at it and they're like rock gods or the prehistoric dinosaur shit.

Yep, yeah, so they lived long enough to see them become fucking

a joke.

Well, I mean, yeah, but the Eddie band of that era is going to be looked upon as stale,

stale bread.

You think Springsteen's looking stale?

Oh, to a 20-year-old?

Baby,

bar for all

down in the factory

asbird park boardwalk

That's where I wrote some songs

hanging out in my back pocket

You can look at Springsteen and be like, I mean say what you want about the guy.

He's wearing a white t-shirt and jeans.

He's not dressed up like a fucking cat lip-syncing all over the fucking stage.

There's some dignity that comes to it, that comes with being bruised.

When you put that makeup on, you can hide so many wrinkles and blemishes and imperfections.

You put that makeup on, all of a sudden that 70-year-old face turns into a 55-year-old face.

Yeah, Vinnie Vincent is still wearing the makeup.

I'm just saying, though, but the kids, I think, would look at that and be like, that's fucking, get this cornball shit out of here.

But the kids got to be educated.

That's the problem.

You know, it's like, can you?

They have courses in all kinds of shit at college.

There should be a kissology course.

Yeah, let me show you how difficult it is for a 70-year-old man to get up on stage for an hour and a half,

lip-syncing or not.

He has to fucking get up on a trapeze.

He has to breathe fire.

He has to spit blood and then be fucking

thrown into the air 100 feet, you know, by these wires and still look like he's not a 70-year-old man doing it, and they are able to do it.

You know, they don't look like 70-year-old men that you're going to walk up on in fucking

Wahwah.

You know, they are fucking, you know, they are.

That's because they're fucking billionaires and they have the money to do it.

I think a kid in the audience would be like, look, I'm not going to be able to afford a house till I'm 40 and this old fucking dickhead's on stage making billions of dollars, dressing like a fucking alien cat, whoever the fuck they are.

I don't know that kids would love it.

Well, I don't want them to love it.

I want them to appreciate it.

Just respect it.

Respect it.

That's it.

Okay.

Show some respect.

That's too much to ask for.

But

I think Dan Aykroyd deserves more respect.

I don't think he's disrespected at all.

I think I was just.

I was just venting because, you know, I mean, I still feel bad that Paul didn't get to marry Donna Dixon.

You had to write songs about it.

It still bugs me.

You know, I'd ask him to Paul's camp.

You know, if I was in,

you're going to side with Dan, I'm going to side with Paul.

And at the end of the day, you know, we got, I got Paul's back, you got Dan's back.

Yeah, it's all right.

Two people nobody gives a fuck about.

No current person is like.

If you had to pick one between Dan Aykroyd and Paul Stanley.

And

I'm going to give it to him, too.

Dan Aykroyd won.

Dan Aykroyd.

Dan Aykroyd won.

Well, who did Paul Stanley marry?

Who did he marry?

He did get married.

He did have children.

But at the end of the day,

that was the prize.

That was the prize.

That was the prize, and he lost.

And

I have to admit that.

And that doesn't come easy for me to say that out on a podcast that Paul lost.

And so publicly, too.

It's not like a regular relationship where it's like you and some other guy at the bar and he wins for the night.

It's like this is publicly.

She left him for another guy.

A very famous guy.

Another famous guy.

Yeah, Dan Aykroyd's like the Tom Brady of

getting that ass.

Speaking of Tom Brady, did you hear that it came out that it's confirmed that Giselle was having an affair with her Brazilian

Jiu-Jitsu instructor?

Yeah, he said that he came to grips with that

he had to admit to himself that the affair had been going on for quite some time.

While they were married.

While they were married, yeah.

They were on opposite ends of the couch masturbating.

The worst kind of betrayal.

And

I just would like to,

I don't want to rub it into people's faces or, you know,

say, I told you so, or expect

people to contact K-Muse too and apologize

to me for how they bashed me for me bashing her at the time when everything was going south and I was called a misogynist and I was called a fucking caveman and I was called a Tom Brady apologist.

I expect the same amount of emails in my inbox.

Yeah, and I haven't seen any yet.

So, I'd like to say the same for saying the Chinese created COVID.

We're talking something more meaningful here.

We're talking the goat.

I wouldn't mind seeing a few emails come my way.

COVID versus affair.

But doesn't that give,

in some small way, though,

it's

kind of,

I don't know, not comforting, it's not the right word, but like, we're all in this together.

We're all in this together.

And if Tom Brady,

his wife, can step out on him,

basically an Adonis, basically

God's, you know, fucking Adam, or whatever is that thing he created, like that, that's on that Michelangelo painting.

Oh, right, right.

Yeah.

What's that character called?

Yeah, with the finger.

God.

Yeah.

And she still would step out on him.

Yeah.

It's really like, hey, it's no, it's, it happens, and don't beat yourself up on it.

You think it has anything to do with like the fact that that motherfucker ain't never put up a fence in his life?

Do you think it did?

Sure, he could throw a wicked spiral.

Something did.

Yeah, but

he could pay to have

a million fences put around his body.

Yeah, but something, some essential man home.

That's going to step out on me.

What's it?

Don't you think some essential

manliness is lost when you're like, oh, I got to pay this guy to do this fence for me?

It doesn't matter.

I hope not because if that's the case, what does my wife think of me?

I'm a lesbian.

It's not as satisfying to be like, I could just pay someone to put up.

I couldn't figure out how to turn the heat on in the car the other day.

And so

she's like, why are you driving around in this ice box?

It's like, well, I can't figure out which dial turns the heat on.

The other jiu-jitsu classes?

She's like, yeah, think about joining a jiu-jitsu class.

It's like, really?

Trust me, trust me.

Okay.

Oh, just you.

Okay.

Yeah,

you need some protection courses.

I won't always be there to protect you.

That's right.

I won't always be here to be your muscle.

She's like, oh, you're right about you not always being around.

That's a good thing.

Yeah.

Well, let's find someone who's really buff and knows what they're doing.

Yeah.

This is going to be great.

This is going to be great.

Everything's fine.

This is cool.

But

you understand what I'm saying?

It's like, it is,

I don't know how to say that.

It's almost like, almost like a religious thing.

It's like he got cheated on so we don't feel so bad about it when it happens to us.

Tom Brady, right?

It's almost like he

took that

slight or that like, you know, that

hit.

Yeah.

Yeah, for almost like Jesus-like in a way that like he died for our sins, but like he got cheated cheated on for us not to feel so shitty about ourselves.

That's true.

If you walk in and your wife is jerking off with your brother on a couch, like you could say, hey,

it happened to Tom Brady.

What did I think?

It wasn't going to happen to me?

I mean, yeah.

I mean, you could take some solace.

I don't know if people will, but

even the best of us, like, can

life happens.

At this point, if it happened to Tom Brady, you should expect that it's going to happen to you.

Not even just be surprised when it does.

I bet you it started with flirting with Giselle in that fucking

like very close, showing her the moves and shit.

You know, has his arm on her elbow.

You're looking great today.

Looking great today.

Great kicks, great flexibility.

Yeah.

See,

Tom should have challenged him to a fucking

steel cage match.

Yeah.

Right?

To win back the woman.

To win back the hand of his woman.

And

I think much like Fonzi, who could like he could do any task, even if he had never done it before, I think Tom Brady could fucking whip that Brazilian jiu-jitsu's ass

in jiu-jitsu.

Right?

Like your style.

Like your style.

Dancer monkey?

Let's go.

Drunk monkey?

I got that.

I'm covered.

Fuck a Tom Brady, bitch.

That's so funny.

Jesus.

Wow, we learned a lot here today.

Yep.

All right.

I know you want to wrap it up.

Q has to go, right?

Q's got to go.

You got to go.

I got to go.

Everybody has to go.

Everybody's busy today.

Life.

That's it.

Life, baby.

Tell them, Steve, Dave.