#586: Kuhleegleeuh

Taylor needs me.

And I've now rushed to her defense whenever I could.

Gonna be dancing and molesting people and driving drunk.

And he's just like, I don't give a shit.

I just don't have the beer muscles that I used to have.

So it's easy for me to not really remember.

Tell him Steve Dave.

Hello and welcome to this week's edition of Tell him Steve Dave.

Hey, Walt.

Hello.

And hot off the set of Impractical Jokers.

This is it.

He's steaming.

He's steaming over here.

Well, I'm not mad.

No, I mean, it's just hot from the set.

Yeah.

Yeah, you're not angry.

No, this is it, man.

This is the first day of shooting today.

I just came, not from set.

We did promos for the NCAA today because they air on True TV.

It's the only time anybody watches True TV is like when the basketball's on, so they have us do these promos and stuff like that.

So today was the first day of filming, but uh this i think we were supposed to shoot tomorrow but you guys heard about this eight eight inches of snow coming in i have i'm so fucking excited because on your first real day of work to have it canceled for a snow day is a real boost like i like it i'm like this is fucking nice because it's not as easy as it used to be no i would imagine not yeah i would i would imagine that well

first of all just thinking of shit to say no after all these years that's easy that's easy part wait a minute the promos promos aren't written?

You guys just got to go wink?

Oh, no, no, no.

No, he's talking about the show, right?

Yeah, I was talking about the show.

Yeah, the promos.

Well, what they do with the promos is basketball.

Well, basketball, they dribble.

They shoot.

Yeah, they shoot.

No, that's what they do.

No, what they do, there's so many fucking meetings for these things, right?

They're like, and they'll present their ideas, and you'll get the, you know, the

promo department of whatever company you're working with.

And their ideas are always like, and I know what our reputation is.

I get it.

Like, I'm not mad at anybody.

But the promos year after year,

or when we do photo shoots, the ideas are always the same.

Always.

You guys walk like the Beatles when there's four of us.

You guys walk like the Beatles, and well, you know what I mean, the four of you, or it's like, it's always like some wacky fucking prank that we would have rejected from doing on the show, you know, and they're like, what if you did this, this, and this?

And we're like, and then we got to fix it, we got to write it, and then we get the set, and then we got to condense it down to make the day work.

So we did.

We'll use Super By by now.

It's good.

It's fine.

Everybody's nice to us.

There's no problems.

Yeah, I mean, when you're on set and you're like, it's your show,

it's a lot easier to get back to work, right?

Yeah.

Oh, that's the show.

We're conflated.

Are we talking about two different things?

Well, that I was just talking about the promo.

I can't wait to get on set.

Like, I can't fucking wait.

Like, I'm excited to see my friends and play the crew, not Murray and Sal.

I see them all the time.

Too much.

I was at Sal's house last night for the Super Bowl.

How'd you feel about that?

That's what I was thinking of it.

I got a little bit of a hangover.

I broke my promise.

Yeah, I got a little

crazy last night.

I did a weird.

How many times have you broken this promise?

Not many.

I don't think many.

I don't think many.

Some.

There's been broken promises, that's for sure.

And I wasn't in public.

I was at Sal's house.

All these caveats.

The wind was blowing in the northeasterly direction.

Well, it's like Sal throws these parties, and he invites like every New York comedian of note is like there.

You know what I mean?

So it's like they're all degenerates.

They were all drinking and whatever.

And then

Joe DeRosa, a very funny comedian, of course,

stayed at my house because he got drunk and I was like, dude, you can't drive.

Just crash at my place.

So he gets my place at like 11.

And then it's like,

about a nightcap.

And then we're sitting down by that little clubhouse outside my office there.

And next thing I know, it's 2:30 in the morning, and like we've just been drinking the entire time.

And he's got nothing to do today.

I got to be in Trenton, New Jersey by 10 o'clock.

Yeah, so I got very little sleep, and my head's kind of spinning.

But hey, that's that's showbiz, baby.

Yeah, that's the, that's the

people want to hear the partying.

Yeah, yeah.

Although, like you and DeRosa sitting around having like snifters of

no, it's he's having Jack.

He he's got Jack.

He actually,

it was funny because he finished by Jack Daniels.

And I'm like, all right.

So I had him sign the bottle.

And I was like, I'm selling this on eBay to get another bottle of, so I may be selling Joe DeRosa's signed bottle.

Joe DeRosa, limited edition.

Limit of one to restock my fucking thing.

But it's fun, you know, we're laughing and like having a good time.

So when you're at a party full of comedians,

is it just constantly someone trying to make funny jokes?

Or is it more like where they're not on?

They're not on, so they don't try to be funny, or is it just no, these guys don't know how to.

Yeah, I'm not.

I've been around it, it's exhausting.

Yeah,

it's fun,

they're not trying to be funny, they're funny.

They're just they won't stop, they won't stop.

They get in, and then as the drink starts flowing, but you're seeing masters of the craft going at each other, and you're partaking, you know what I mean?

It's you feel good when you get a laugh.

Um,

oh, fucking

coming in with Pedialyl.

There's a man who knows

this is personal stock.

Thanks, buddy.

I I hope you get back on mic soon.

I miss you.

It's a rough day today.

But when, you know, we go back, we're back to work Wednesday now instead of Valentine's Day.

Back to work.

Yeah, I went to a Super Bowl party myself.

Get out who's?

I went to Brian Rupert's Super Bowl party.

So he now joins a very exclusive club of people who can say that I attended a party at their house.

Yeah.

it's, I mean, I don't feel as good anymore now that I know Rupert's in that company.

I used to fucking fly that flag proudly.

I only think there was one guy pounding

alcohol that was getting him.

Get him?

I think the only one that was.

Oh, dry January's over.

He's like, oh, Jane.

February 1st, right?

You know what, though?

He can handle his booze, though.

Yeah.

He really can.

I notice he talks a little bit more when he's extra lubricated.

Sure.

If you believe it or not, I know that's hard to believe.

But I noticed that he will have a little bit more, I don't want to say diarrhea of the mouth.

Maybe like just like maybe a couple of like

just a couple of like

spurts of like excited.

Yeah, yeah.

Totally non-sequiturs, too.

All right, so that stays the same.

That's great.

What did you think of the big game?

Oh, it started out pretty ho-hum, and it turned into

one of the games for the ages.

Yeah.

I fucking used a double overtime, which had never been done before.

I was really hoping for that.

That was nuts, dude.

Yeah.

Well, let me ask you, let's get to the real important thing of it.

Yes.

Were people annoyed at the Taylor Swift cutaways at your party?

Because at my party, people were like, fucking get, come on.

I'm sick of that, too.

I'm sick of people who are sick of Taylor Swift.

I love you become a Swifty by extension, but no, but i feel like it's it's it's a piling on now at this point i mean the the gal just goes to support her man in a very traditional way because this is a powerful woman and she's kind of like being forced into that role of like sidelines not the most well-known woman on the planet

as a cheerleader a woman of her stature and power now is has been reverted to a cheerleader in a very traditional role, like a 1950s kind of mindset That

I'm like, why aren't more people applauding her for taking the backseat?

For knowing her role.

For bracelets, what we've been complaining about for the past decade.

He broke her.

He deserves to croak that trillion.

And now she stands at the side.

Yeah, I'm just sick of people complaining about it.

So much like when Tebow started to get too much hate,

I felt like they, at the tipping point, Taylor needs me.

And I've now rushed to her defense whenever I could.

Like during the party, I had to give some fun.

You had to nip a couple ankles.

Cast glances across the room, just in case anybody was going to say something about Taylor Swift.

Robert can't say it in his own home.

How many people are at your party?

It wasn't my party.

Well, it's South Pole.

Yeah, a lot.

I would say at least 25 people.

How can you watch a game with that many people in the room?

Very big television.

I mean, some people don't give a fuck about the game.

Oh, okay.

You know what I mean?

Like, some people are by the food that he gets.

He gets a catered.

It's lovely.

Some people, he's got a nice deck outside

his door there.

People are out there smoking and stuff like that.

A wide range of people.

I've been trying to sag an invitation to this for years now.

I can't get one.

Well, you had an invitation to Rupps, I know.

And then

I was like, oh, it's 8.30.

I don't think he's coming.

No, I told him that I was probably going to Atlantic City.

But if I I didn't, I was definitely going to go.

I didn't know you were going.

I actually might have stayed home if I knew you were going.

You're not missing.

No.

You know, I love Sal, but, like, you're not.

All those funny guys cracking up.

And girls.

Well, that doubts.

Come on now.

But we're talking about traditional rules.

No, there was,

you know,

there's a podcast called Guys We Fucked, I guess.

Yeah, yeah.

And one of the hosts, Corinne, was there.

I liked her.

I thought she was.

I thought she was very funny.

I liked her, but she had a fucking...

You remember Ryan, our buddy Ryan?

Yeah.

He walks in and out of nowhere, she goes, is he gay?

Which is fucking hysterical if you know Ryan.

I haven't fucked him yet.

He must be gay.

Oh, God, she was funny, man.

So there was like funny people of all stripes.

They were at.

That joke is funny if you know Ryan, because that's all everybody talks about when it comes to him.

The guys we fucked were at the same.

I think it was like there were three acts, and we were the...

We were the headliner at the

in Brooklyn.

I can't remember the name of the place.

We were on the same stage as them, yeah.

Oh, yeah, they they were uh the middle act

mean to us, like how

I was literally like, oh, fuck, man, maybe I wasn't.

Was that one of the ladies from on the Sabrina show?

No, no, no,

no, these are just two podcast ladies, yeah, yeah, I know who you're talking about,

Bubba Ray Dudley, the wrestler.

I don't know if you know, I'm familiar with the name.

I wouldn't know if I saw him.

I know him a long time, but he's a great guy.

Yes, fun time.

Just drank too much, but I did think of Walt.

Yeah.

Yeah, I did think of Walt while

I was guilty.

Yeah, Flanagan.

Yeah, no,

I was getting a little past, like, you know, so, like a little far past sober.

And I thought of you.

Well, did you stay dry for the cruise?

Oh, God, no.

No, he did not.

Oh, heavens, no.

But there's no way to get through the cruise, though.

And I'm in international waters, which I felt like your problem.

Yeah, okay.

Yeah, it's only in America, in the continental United States.

There's no other way to get through it.

The cruise, man, than to drink.

All right.

I've been on a couple cruises.

Yeah.

You were able to make it through?

Yeah, I was able to make it through.

I powered through it.

Yeah, but you didn't have things.

Like, I had, did you see those two girls that came up to me?

These two girls came up to me.

Well, they were stunning, 25, and they'll come up to me holding hands, and they say,

They say, the first thing they say to me is, we will sign an NDA and do anything you want.

And I'm like, whoa, I'm like, get me whiskey, get me something, because I can't jump into this because the society we live in, the time we we live in.

So you're like...

On the cruise.

On the cruise.

So you're like, I got to drink, man.

No man could be sober.

And see, like,

it's just like, you got to drink.

You have to drink until you're like, I can't even get it up.

It can be no temptation.

Did you helicopter your lawyer in to get the paperwork?

Yeah, no.

What a great opening line.

Like, what a great opening line.

But the fact that they're aware of NDAs immediately makes it makes you suspicious.

They know the ins and outs of this contract.

I can't be involved.

So you're like, all right, well, then I'm just going to go hang in my room with a bunch of dudes.

Like, you know, you get DeRosa or Conjur.

Oh, you were drinking to forget the, you know, to kill the

draw.

The temptation, let's say.

Yeah, so you're in your room and you're just like, well, now it's just a sausage party in my room.

So let's fucking drink.

Yeah, well, I mean, sausage parties are, you're fine.

How much pussy was at Roop's place?

No.

No, zero?

Oh, my God.

I'm shocked.

Well, you guys, how you know?

I mean, we talk football, though.

You know, that's the way the suit should be.

See, that's why I didn't want to go, because I would have been the closest thing to a girl there, and everybody would have tried to fuck me, probably.

We would have been obviously a bunch of ridicule.

Just climbing over each other to get at me.

My turn boy.

I saw someone on Twitter post such a great line, such a throw.

It actually made me laugh out loud.

It's like, because somebody asked me think, who I thought was going to win, and I said,

I cannot bet against Mahomes.

I said, at this point, he's

all universe, and like, anybody who bets against him is absolutely nuts.

And someone just wrote

that: Patrick Mahomes is good at fourth and down.

Do you remember that?

Do you remember that?

That was a title of an episode of ours.

And it just made me, it was such a great

callback.

It just made me laugh, fourth and down.

If I'm Patrick Mahomes, before I do anything else, I get my family together and I was like, can you guys please not?

Whatever it is you're about to do, whatever it is you're about to do, just please don't do it.

I don't need this.

It doesn't matter.

It doesn't matter.

That kind of pressure.

And he's still going to win.

He's still going to win no matter what his chaotic family does.

It could be dancing and molesting people and driving drunk.

And he's just like, I don't give a shit.

I'm still going to fucking be a legendary comeback.

And I'm still going to come back no matter what the odds are and still win.

It doesn't matter.

He's that fucking phenomenal.

He's just that, like, there are some guys that are just that focused, huh?

They don't feel, whatever a normal person might feel, that kind of pressure, they just don't, they don't feel it.

Yeah.

I guess that's like,

there is a medical term for that, right?

Sociopath.

Pathologically.

Like, you don't feel pressure.

You don't feel like you don't feel those feelings.

Well, that's what they said about Dexter.

It's like, that's why he didn't get scared because he was a psychopath.

Yeah.

So maybe, I don't know.

Maybe sociopath along the same lines.

Fucking very good.

Are we willing to go on right now and say Patrick Holmes is a sociopath and that's why he's so good?

Oh my man.

I'll make that.

I'll make that statement.

I went down to Atlantic City.

Not to watch the game, though.

It happened to be the same weekend that a bunch of podcasters that I like were sort of meeting up down there.

He just has to make his presence known.

He's got to leave his phone on.

How are you stanking?

You're going to shut my phone off.

So you went to a podcast?

It was kind of like

Ming was not there.

No, it was no podcast festival.

It was at the Borgata.

And

it was a couple different podcasts that I listened to.

Nobody likes onions, Mama Misery loves company, Chookie Soup.

It's like all these people who like,

they all feud with

yeah, it's this guy who

has a puppet on his hand, and he does everything through the puppet.

Like, dude, it's so fucking funny.

I love it.

And all they do is feud with each other.

Like all these podcasts.

So it's weird.

Like Stuttering John is like the center piece of, like, he's the focal point of all this, Stuttering John.

So he was there.

I thought

you weren't fond of.

I'm not fond of Stuttering John.

I think he's an awful human being.

So

he wasn't the reason I went there.

There were two other guys there that I wanted to meet.

And a puppet.

And a puppet.

Yeah.

Well, the puppet was one of them.

I got to meet the puppet.

Yeah.

Mary Beth has a picture with her, with the, with the the puppet.

Great.

But I watched probably more of the game than I've watched in the past

ever.

Yeah.

Yeah, well, because everybody was at the bar, like, watching the game.

And so I was like, well, I guess I'll sit here with everybody else, you know.

So they weren't performing?

No, no.

No.

Those podcasters just were going to be at this bar.

They were like, yeah, we're going to go to this bar on this weekend.

Or this hotel rather on this weekend.

They were like, we're going to go to?

Yeah, I was like, I'll go.

Were you there as?

i was there as more of a fan of okay you weren't like so they had no idea you're and no nobody of these podcasts know who you are and you just show no they all know who i am oh yeah it's not like you're just like stalking them for like no i'm not like hanging on the outskirts just watching and shit yeah yeah no i wouldn't do that to them

like the first guy the first guy i met was dressed up as another guy i know the the puppet guy was dressed up as another guy that i know He was cosplaying as another dude, and I thought it was him at first, and I was like, wait a second.

I'm a little confused as to what went down.

Like a bunch of podcasters were like, let's hang out.

Let's hang out at a bar in Lanc City on Super Bowl Sunday.

Yes.

That's basically the way it went.

And

they announced this to their fan base.

Yeah, they say it over the

podcast on the different podcasts.

They're like, this is what we're going to be doing.

And if you want to come down and hang out, what do you do when you get there then?

You just talk to them?

You wonder why you went.

No, the two guys that I went down there to meet, I talked with quite a bit and just hung out.

And, you know, Mary Beth was there, so we just, you know,

we went and she played some slots and shit like that.

She does not have the Deb Flanagan touch, I got to tell you.

I mean, it's

no, nobody can sustain winning at slots.

It's a total fucking.

But she's just like, she, she dumped some money into it and she was annoyed that she didn't play longer.

She was like, she's like, these are fucking penny slots.

I'm not going to win on penny slots.

What's up?

You can't win on penny slots.

You can.

It's very rare to win any significant money on penny slots, though.

I was with a girl who won like $4,000 on penny slots one time.

That's a significant amount.

Yeah, yeah.

That doesn't have, it's very out of the normal.

Actually, now that I think about it, it was $700.

I don't know why I said $4,000.

She won $700.

$700 is still pretty good.

Yeah, pretty good.

That's a big difference.

I don't want to.

I don't know why I said that.

My brain's not.

It's the Super Bowl hangover.

Yeah, I'm having some problems right now.

$700, which is a win.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Not $4,000.

Yeah, the room was real cheap.

I was surprised for Super Bowl night.

I thought that.

Oh, I think everybody's, nobody goes to anybody.

Everybody goes to like parties and stuff.

Nobody goes to parties.

Nobody wants to be away from home, I think, on Super Bowl Sunday.

Or somebody else's home, you know, drinking and

carousing and stuff.

Just schmoozing.

Yeah.

So who was all at Rupp's party?

It was you, Rupper.

Me, Giddam, Steve, and another fellow I didn't know.

It was just four of you?

Yeah.

Oh.

Intimate.

It's quiet.

The whole party is getting a real work out there.

So we're technically having a party right now?

I had a great time.

To me, that's about as like I'm dipped my toe into partying, you know, so like I don't want any more than four people there because then it's intimidating and it can give me the spike.

Four dudes, just four dudes.

Yeah, yeah, medical guys have to keep the volume low because he has the baby now.

The baby wasn't there, the baby came home later in the evening, and then we had to kind of keep it quiet when the baby came home.

But you know what?

I'm used to fucking watching Super Bowls like that.

I remember the days when

your kids raise your voice over a whisper level and the baby's sleeping.

Me and Sunday Jeff had to learn sign language for the next year.

Yeah, other than that,

not really.

I didn't do much for a Super Bowl Sunday.

Went there, watched, hung out, met some people.

That sounds bad.

Came back.

I think Sunday Jeff was up at AC over the weekend as well.

He told me he was going to be

at AC for the Super Bowl as well.

Really?

Yeah, he was

I'll make a trip.

He could have represented the all-new Sunday Jeff show with the meetup.

The podcast and the meetup.

It would have been a legend, man.

People would have fucking clamored to get near him.

I don't blame him.

Yeah.

Sunday Jeff.

Yeah.

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The cruise, though, the cruise, like it's weird because we

came back and we did the Sexy Lawyer episode, so we really didn't talk it.

We haven't talked about anything in week.

What are you talking about?

I mean, I just told the best story I have.

That's a pretty good story.

You didn't tell me that.

That was a pretty fucking good story.

Yeah, that was the best.

Do you avoid those twins when they like the fucking plague?

And then there was another one.

There was another, I mean, look,

it's a boat full of people who came on because they're fans of us.

You know what I mean?

So it's no surprise.

It's not like, but there was this,

yeah,

there was a lot of dodging going on and stuff like that.

But a lot of, a lot of fucking tell him, a lot of ants,

tons of four-colored demons

shirts.

So much so that, like, Eric Andrea was like, What is that?

And I was like, Yeah, no, don't worry about that.

Don't worry about that, Eric.

That's my secret motorcycle club.

Ming, I mean, how great was Ming on that fucking party?

But one point, we were DeRosa and Sal threw a secret hip-hop party.

They didn't advertise it.

What they was in the Bliss Lounge where we had the meetup.

They were just going to, at 11 o'clock, start playing 90s hip-hop and hosting a party.

And they weren't going to tell anybody.

So the only way you found out about it was if you were walking by and heard the music and wandered in, which is a pretty cool idea.

But word got out.

So it was fucking packed.

And

that's where those girls actually said that to me.

And then

Faton's at, like, it was a great time.

And then I look up and Ming is dancing with a girl who she's an aunt.

She was wearing a four-colors demon thing one night.

Like Mary Jane.

Oh, yeah.

MJ.

MJ.

She's real tall, right?

Like towers over him.

Real tall, real pretty.

Yeah.

Like looks great.

She's wearing the slave layer costume.

Yes.

Yeah, I do remember that costume.

Yeah, she comes in for a picture, dressed as slave layer, and she hands me her leash.

And she's like, Would you hold this during the picture?

And I'm like, well, you know, you paid.

So here we are.

And I see Ming dancing with her on the dance floor.

And I'm like, this fucking guy, he has the time of his life everywhere.

He fucking.

It doesn't matter where he goes.

It doesn't matter what he's doing.

The dude is constantly like smiling.

Yeah.

He's teaching her how to dance.

Like,

this is fucking, this guy is like having a bless.

It was, uh the shows were great i don't remember

the last night any of the shows oh the last night at all i don't remember a single thing of being on stage that last night uh but i do know that my parents were there and my mother said it was fine she was like you guys didn't say anything like crazy and i was like okay that doesn't give you any um pause though and you're like

i drank so much i can't remember what happened it doesn't and i'll tell you why because I also didn't drink a lot.

Like, my tolerance is so low that it did sneak up on me.

But I also know, like, I wasn't like, I just don't have the beer muscles that I used to have.

So it's easy for me to not really remember.

It's easy for me.

Well, it's four days.

It's the last night of four days of drinking all day and like working our ass off because we do work our ass off.

They do run these guys.

Oh, yeah.

So everything.

You totally get it.

Blends together.

Yeah, but like

a certain point,

if I ever had like seven hours of my life that i couldn't remember i would be like wow i it's like usually reserved for like when you're sleeping you don't remember oh yeah when i have my operation

when i have my operation i don't remember

that's the only time i can think back that i don't that i don't remember what happened for like seven hours yeah seven hours is a pretty long time yeah yeah but i wasn't surprised when i saw him because he we were about we're you know the we're gonna do space monkeys and i got some people lined up and i I get a text like five minutes before we're about to go on.

And it's like, I'm doing great at poker.

I'm probably going to be like 15 minutes late.

This was on purpose.

I planned that.

Yeah, it seemed that way.

Because I was saying to Mary Beth, because I was going to play poker too, but I was like, well, wait, I can't play poker because it's going to run into the show.

And then I was like, wait, he's playing poker.

I was like, he's doing this on purpose.

I thought he was doing it on purpose.

I wanted to give you the

to have to go out there alone.

And then of all the nights, like when I went out, they hadn't turned any of the mics on.

So I went out and I put the mic up and I'm like,

God damn it.

Everything's going wrong, these motherfuckers.

Yeah,

Chuck on the boat.

Chuck was there.

Yeah, I felt bad for Chuck.

Oh, you shouldn't feel bad for Chuck.

He had a great time.

Chuck had a great time.

Oh, great.

Yeah, I brought him up on stage, but then we ran out of time.

We didn't get to do his

one, true, three and stuff like that.

He was up there.

You guys really didn't come up too much this time.

Every time we came up, you were gone i was working you were

with gatto not being on the boat it was like it right oh yeah you know

to us

yeah because that you know eric uh andre is great and he's another machine he but like we know what gatto did and we had to make sure that that was

right right so and that's not natural to me right yeah that that level of interaction with the audience and the people is uh it's not it's not usual it's not usual to me yeah right

um

But tons of ants.

Well,

it was almost felt to me a lot like sometimes like a Tom Steve Dave Cruz, that's how many fucking ants are there.

Yeah, there were a lot.

When we did the get-together, the ant meetup, there were probably a good couple hundred people.

Nice.

Yeah.

Everybody with their shirts on and hanging out, having a good time.

Yeah.

And we took pictures with everybody.

Yep, every single person who was there.

Yeah, it was great.

It was a great cruise.

I don't know if we'll do another one.

Those are people who ask me, like, when do you think the next one's going to be?

I'm like, I have no inside track on this.

The last one's barely over.

I'm still sick from the last one.

Yeah, I know.

It was, we didn't think we'd do this one.

So now it's just like, hey, man, like, we can't do them every year anymore.

There's too many now.

There's so many of these cruises.

The competition is pretty fierce.

And, you know, it's a lot to ask.

It's like fucking, you're asking people to lay out thousands of dollars.

And I think it's a little hard to do that every year, especially after the pandemic.

Yeah, definitely.

So they may not be vocal, but I believe that people love every fucking second of it and think it's money well spent.

Because, like, anytime I ran into anybody who was like, who was like, oh, hey, you know, like, they're always having a good time.

It's never like, hey, can you talk to one of the guys about the fucking heat in my room?

Yeah, no, it's like, and there was, you tell me if, because you, you were more boots on the ground than I was, right?

You were out there.

I felt this year's cruise was more adult.

It seemed like there were fewer kids, actual children, and also kids in their teens and stuff like that.

Yeah, I felt the same way.

I felt that, like, compared to that first cruise where there seemed to be a lot of families on it, this one, not so many.

And things got pervy.

Did you scare the families away with the previous trip?

Not scare them away, but you know, did it make it?

Was it

inappropriate for kids?

I think a lot of ours.

I like the word pervy just being used so far.

No, like I said, I think I've

that go on the cruise grew up.

Like they got older.

No, No, but people were fucking on that boat everywhere.

Everywhere.

In public?

I don't know.

Well, there was that guy walking around with like the Christmas ornament on his balls.

Right.

It was that guy.

It was, yeah.

I kept getting reports of everybody hooking up.

Like artists,

the cruisegoers were like going up to like telling DeRosa, like, holy shit, I just

like the love boat.

Yes, it was, there was a vibe on the boat that wasn't there in previous years.

I had to console these two twins who had just gotten turned down, so I perked out on them.

Well, like, don't worry about the NDA, I don't give a shit, they can rest assured knowing I didn't want to turn them down.

I mean, you know, but I don't want to get sued into oblivion, you know.

Were there any real, like, lasting love connections made?

Like on the real to Love Boat show, it's like, you know, at the when everybody's disembarking, it's like it's not just about fucking, it's about a deep

commitment and you learn a lesson and you realize it's, it's about love, it's not about like raunchy sex.

The vibe that I got on the boat was that if anybody was wasting their time with true love on this boat, they weren't having the maximum good time that they could be having.

Yeah, so it's not like the love boat.

No, there was like, I mean, I'm not, it wasn't Caligula.

Like, like, you know, you were able to like walk around and like not trip over people fucking.

I just mean like there was an undercurrent that I think wasn't there the past

past few cruises.

Well, I think you're co-like Steve O and Eric Andre brought an audience that didn't seem to be an IJ IJ audience.

No, there was no,

like, the audience blended very well.

They melded very well, yeah.

The audience is more apt to be, to have, to, to engage in,

like,

out-of-wedlock sex

on the boat, just willy-nilly, just like hooking up here, there, everywhere.

Don't tell me the ants.

Please don't say it's the ants.

I really don't want to.

I mean,

it looked like the ants were having a good time.

why don't you ask chuck about that

also ask him if he wants that left in

yeah uh no i think there i think there was like there was like good times to be had i it's which funny people still ask like hey do you get along with q's mom it's so funny they still think that like there's a like there's a a rift between me and your mom who i might have hung out with on the boat more than i hung out with you yeah Oh, without a doubt you did.

Yeah.

We played bingo.

We would watch stuff.

You were very sweet.

You were like, bought my mom's bingo card, right?

Like,

you were like, I'm taking your mom to bingo or something like that.

Like, it was, it was very sweet of you.

I appreciate that.

Have you just become that guy, though?

Like, and now you can kind of be like, use Q's mom as a beard to be the guy now who's like, if I'm going to go on a cruise, I'm just going to play bingo and kind of just like shuffle around.

You mean, have I worked myself into that situation now where I like, I don't have to be be boots on the ground?

I can just

have you just kind of crossed over into that.

Because you'll be doing it anyway, with or without Carol Quinn.

I need time to recuperate.

I wish they'd slow down with all these bingo numbers.

Sam's so fast, I have

pouring up to my ear.

Hang, bingo!

Oh, no, no, sorry, sorry, not a bingo.

People are like, oh,

again.

Did Fatone say A38?

There's no A in bingo, bud.

Yeah, yeah, like hanging out with Fatone makes me wish that he lived closer with him so much.

Yeah, he's really fun to hang out with.

He's just like the best.

He's like a golden retriever.

You just fucking love him.

What does he do to get that kind of like, like, I want to pick up some pointers?

I want to be, like, I don't think anybody, when I left the party last night, I don't know anybody who was like, fuck, I love that guy.

I fucking can't wait to hang out with him again.

So, what did I, what, what should I have done?

Okay,

how would we break that?

First of all, relentlessly positive.

Like, always.

Fuck.

Yeah.

That's a big one.

I wanted to give you the big one up front.

No cynicism.

Zero cynicism.

Let me write all this down.

Okay.

Yeah, write it down.

Don't be a cynic.

Yes.

Got it.

Okay.

So, so far, Tone and Ming are neck and neck.

Willingness to do.

That doesn't just.

Okay, wait, but can we go back to the super positive?

Yeah.

Doesn't that get like tiresome, though?

Or you're kind of just like, it's unrealistic?

No, it brings you up.

Yeah, because he's.

No matter what you guys are talking about, you could be talking about the Middle East, and he's just like, he's got a positive spin on it.

And you're like, come on, man.

There was nobody mentioned the Middle East on this fucking goal.

And you don't talk to Fatone about the Middle East.

It's great.

It's like, isn't that wonderful?

Like, here's a guy I don't have to fucking talk to about the Middle East.

He would look confused if you brought it up.

He'd be like,

why are we not talking about something different?

He's like, you don't want to hear how much pussy I got back in the day?

And you're like, well, actually, you know what?

I would.

I do.

And then he starts telling you.

Okay, but like, at no point, because I've been around Ming too much, and I feel like I can get like that super positive, kind of like, you know, no hint of cynicism.

Kind of like,

I can grow very tired of it.

Yeah.

You know?

Well, because it seems unnatural.

Like, with.

Why is Ming so positive?

That's the question.

Like, Fatone has a copy.

So you're stupefied from the beginning.

I mean, Fatone still has

that star genise quoi.

He is not.

He's got it.

He's got it.

All right.

Well, you, okay, well, then right there and there, if you don't have it, then you'll never be the guy that's like, I fucking love hanging around with you.

No, that's not true because I love hanging around with you.

But you never fucking talk like that, though.

Never once have you been like, fuck, like, the way you said it with that kind of like.

Do you hear the way you pronounced fuck?

I fucking love that guy.

I dropped a hard F on a hard F of Fatone.

No, but I have said about you, like, when I've talked to ass, and they're like,

they'll be like, man, Walt's a genius.

And I'll be like, dude, you don't even know.

That guy is a fucking genius.

I love that guy.

Like, I've definitely said that.

But you know that, but like, you, but you don't need a genius at a party, though.

No, we don't either.

Just ask Rupert.

The genius is in the corner talking about the fucking Middle East.

Nobody wants him at the party.

Why is he so positive anyway?

All right, so you got to have the it factor, which is not a lot of people have the it factor, though.

Yeah, he's got stories, endless stories about his life, and you want to hear him.

He reminds me of Muse in a way that is like

an innocent goofball almost.

Yeah, like the way he dresses and the way he carries around like a big giant radio.

I mean,

you hear him coming

before he comes.

Yeah, he has his whole squad with him, too, like these four guys that he travels with.

And they're all cool, like they're all cool.

I don't know.

One is Mike Rome, the ring announcer for WWE.

Like, he's, you know, like late, let's get ready to rumble.

Not that guy, but that job for the WWE.

Wow.

And then he starts telling stories.

You know what I mean?

It's just like, it's just a group.

He's got connections everywhere for Tone.

So if you're like, hey, I'm going to Disney, he's like, I'll make a phone call.

And then suddenly you got, like, he's that guy.

He's that guy.

And he's

completely normal, despite it.

Like, he's, you could talk to him, and there's no hint of.

You could sit there and shoot the shit with him, and you don't feel like

I'm in the presence of a dude who is in one of the biggest bands on earth of all time right you don't feel that well just down to earth normal completely never never feels like he's feeling he's better than anyone

you did this thing with uh with troy's wife meryl she wanted to get his um

she wanted to get his uh a picture with him

so uh we were up in this area where it's like a sundeck so it was like me and marybeth and troy and meryl and then fatone and his crew were sitting over a little bit this in this other area and she uh troy left and then meryl Meryl was like, I got to get a picture with him.

I got to just like, should I just do it?

Should I just ask him?

You know, she's real nervous.

So I was like, yeah, he's a cool guy.

You can definitely just ask him.

But meanwhile, I'm texting him, and I was like, my friend is going to ask you for a photo.

Give her a really hard time about it.

So she went over there and Fatone played it perfectly.

He's just like, why now?

We have all week.

Why now?

She's just like, you can see it in her face.

I have a picture of them laughing about it afterwards.

But he played it perfectly.

It was pretty great.

Yeah.

All right.

Okay.

I've taken some notes.

Yeah.

Okay.

That's great.

I mean, come on the call.

It would be too much effort.

It would be too much effort to try to manufacture the it factor.

Well, I only work on my positivity.

And yeah.

Yeah.

But you got to be willing to talk to him.

He's not positive about anything.

But we're not saying these things about Brian Johnson.

We're not saying that nobody is.

I mean, there's no doubt I love you.

Everybody knows that.

Yeah.

It's hard to be positive at all times.

I guess it's not.

Not any of the time.

There's something to

being that young in life, being that successful, where you're like, fuck, I got nothing left to prove.

Just have fun.

I guess.

Yeah, like you look at his life now, and it's not like, wow, he's really falling on hard times.

It's like, he's doing fucking great.

Yeah.

Every time you turn around, Fatone's on TV.

Doing something, doing something.

People love him everywhere.

He goes.

All right.

You know, we love talking about this one.

And the thing about being a guy is we're pretty much stuck with what we've got appearance-wise.

Male makeup?

What's to go along with my powdered wig?

They ask.

A peck push-up, brah?

What would the bros say?

Meggings that accentuate this caboose?

Dude, there's kids out there.

So what?

Come on, Miyandis.

Don't be so fucking prude.

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There was a moment.

I ended up having several really good conversations with Steve Out.

Like, got to know him, like the guy.

But at first, I didn't really talk to him until maybe the second night.

So there was a whole day and a half.

And there was a moment where him and Eric Andre were hanging out again in the Bliss Lounge by the bowling alley there.

And they're hanging out.

And they got like, not their entourage, but they got their friends that they brought on.

And I was like, oh, I haven't really talked to Steve-O yet.

So I should go say hi.

And like, there was a moment where I was like, they're all sitting.

You know what I mean?

Like, that's heavy ceremonial and they're laughing and have a good time with drinks.

And then like I come up and I'm standing there and I'm like.

Overly laughing.

Yeah.

I'm like,

no, but like there was a moment where I was like Cape Fear laughing?

Yeah.

It's kind of cigar.

Steve was talking about like his mother dying or something.

I'm like, ah!

No, but there was a moment where I was like, I was like on the outs of my, like, they were the cool kids on the boat.

And I was like, this is, I was like, my face is on the fucking bow of the boat and I can't even get in this conversation.

Like, there was like a good like three minutes where I was feeling like.

12-year-old Brian in high school, you know, in June.

Am I hovering?

Am I hovering?

I can't get into the conversation.

Like, I was trying to break into the conversation, but I couldn't because they were rolling.

Yeah.

You know, and,

you know, I know Andre well, and, you know, he looked at me, he gave me the hay, but, you know,

but Steve-O did.

And I was, so I was just standing there, like, like, like in their orbit, and I was like,

I'm not cool.

Yeah, Steve-O, I think, was the one that turned off a lot of the older people.

Well, he pissed in his own mouth.

The guy, yeah.

On the boat?

Yeah, we didn't.

Wait a minute, wait a minute.

And

15 minutes before earlier you said it wasn't caligulia on the boat it's not as caligula as yeah that was that was the well it's pretty fucking caligulia yeah yeah you're right what well it wasn't sexual i guess

wait what yeah he did what is the half he was on stage wow and he did a gig allen he and he's like you want to see me pee in my mouth and i guess he i didn't see it myself i heard tell of it so i'm assuming he yeah he actually like kind of kind of peeed in his mouth which is like look man that's you book steve

You're getting Steve-O.

You know?

I didn't think he would do that.

Whoa.

Yeah, he...

Whoa, that is so fucked up.

It was pretty hard to get to that.

That's not the fucking thing you lead with?

No, I forgot about it, to be honest.

I didn't remember.

Because that was before I spoke to him or whatever.

And then I got to know him and like him so much.

Yeah, you were on stage with him before getting to.

Yeah, so by then I got to know Steve-O a little bit.

And I was like, oh, this guy's fucking, I like this guy.

So I think that that superseded the peeing thing.

I am blown away.

This is so cool.

Well, when we were, when they do the.

So he's just like, he's on the one-man show.

And all of a sudden, he's losing the audience.

All of a sudden, hold on.

I'm going to take...

So you see his cock.

Idaho wasn't there.

I don't know.

I didn't see it because I left.

I went to see you, and then when we got to that part with Steve-O, I left.

You left.

Yeah, not because of Steve-O, just because I was like...

It's something to do.

How do you follow that?

How do space monkeys fucking follow a guy that's urinating against me?

We drank a lot of piss.

We just pissed in each other's mouth.

Oh, my God.

Yeah, that was during Eric Andre's show.

Well, when they had the.

And you're like, he turned off a lot of old people.

I don't even think you need to put in the word old.

You just turn that to me would turn off a ton.

I don't know.

When I went to see the Steve-O show, though,

the theater was packed.

Yeah, he's a drum, man.

Yeah, he really is.

But he worked hard on his show, I'm told.

Like, he really crafted, like, he limbered up.

I don't know that he did that on his own show.

Yeah.

Wow.

It was something.

Well, when they did the

sail away part, like, you guys come out and you say hello to everybody just as we're about to sail away.

Steve-O came out, and again, I'm sitting there because Q's room overlooks where a lot of the events take place on the...

top of the ship there.

It's like a turret in World War II.

I could see it.

Yeah,

you can see over everything, and it's nice because it's like dark.

The windows are dark, so like nobody can see you, and you can watch everybody.

You bring binoculars, and you're in the fucking mud.

So I was watching binoculars for just to see everybody party.

Yeah, just to people watch.

Just people watching.

It's fun stuff.

Caliglia.

I didn't see any Caliglia in there.

I didn't see any of that.

Well, a little bit, yeah, a little bit because

the sail away party,

again, watching with Q's mom, and Steve-O pulls his pants down and starts tucking his cock and doing this whole thing.

And yeah, and your mom was like, oh, no.

She goes and just turns away.

Yeah, he did that.

But again, like, you booked Steve-O, that's, yeah, you know, you get it.

Who booked him?

That's a good question.

But we all, like, when they brought his name up,

did he run by you?

Did he send, like, this is what I'll be doing?

He didn't run it by me, but I don't think that.

I put a urinate in my mouth at one point.

He did mention that.

He didn't.

And if he did, if he did, I would have.

Did you know that green lit that?

I would have been like, I would have been like, you you know, I'm not here to tell an artist how to be an artist.

But I'd be like, I don't know if our audience is going to love it, but I'd be wrong.

What?

What are you doing here?

What are you showing me?

Get him.

Something about urination.

Look at him.

He can't stop trying to insert himself into the fucking show, this guy.

Okay, so he asked Jimmy, did Steve O.P.

in his own mouth?

Jimmy replies, he did, ha ha, right after Q got sick.

Well, you got sick because you saw.

Maybe you just

were.

No, I was was on Eric Andre's thing, and he kept trying to get you to drink all that shit.

Yeah, it was fucking amazing.

Yeah, that's what Jimmy writes.

Now, I've lost that, like to me,

yeah.

Like, did Jimmy, if Jimmy, if I know, if I asked Jimmy if he would not reply, it was fucking amazing.

Just to get him, ask, ask, text him right now, be like, Jimmy, just do I have this clear

did Steve-O pee in his mouth?

And like, were people okay with that?

Was it awesome?

Was it?

I've never been happier in my life.

Ha ha.

I don't know.

It's another relentlessly positive.

Is it wrong for me to be absolutely just fucking

aggast?

Appalled.

No, my mother was.

So you and Carol.

We were fanning ourselves with bingo cards.

Me and him and his mom.

I'm not even fucking around.

I would just like, I would, there was no, I would want to jump off the boat

rather than be in the mix with people who are like cheering and hooting and hollering because some of you you are an ants.

A lot of more ants, buddy.

I'm gonna, for the sake of not offending any ants, I'm gonna not reply to that.

But, like,

Jesus Christ, man, what has it

relentless positivity that we were looking for?

This is what I'm talking about.

Yeah, someone would be like, yeah, that's crazy.

How on earth can you, as a, as a, this is like, come,

he's looking at me.

He can't get it out.

As like, this is your partner, or not a partner, but you're there, just another person.

I hired him.

Yeah, I hired him.

We paid him.

And you have to then be like,

cheerlead that this is what this guy resorts to to get

the crowd on his side or to win over.

But that's the other thing.

Everybody loves Steve O.

Like, he's a legitimate icon.

People feel

active of fucking somebody who does not deserve to be out in public and being paid for such fucking.

You're saying that the second

tea goes in someone's mouth.

This is fucking nobody's ever had tea in their mouth that's not been mentally ill.

What?

If I went on a cruise,

and when the performer just pulled out and whizzed in his own mouth, you would be impressed.

I would demand my cruise be refunded in full.

Yeah.

And that fucking put in the fucking gulag.

That fucking, that, that fucking grotesque creature has to spend the rest of the cruise in the fucking

brink.

What's the gulag?

That's in Russia.

That's a Russian prison.

Send him there.

I don't care.

Yeah.

Let's turn the spoon around and get to Russia.

Throw him in a gulag.

He doesn't.

There's no way I would want to fucking.

I'm sorry.

That's fucked up.

That is so fucked up.

Yeah, maybe you shouldn't come on the cruise action.

There's no spit I could put on that that would anyway resemble positivity.

The crowd loved it, bro.

Well, yeah.

Do you think, though, like you're in a situation, like if Steve-O is a homeless guy on the streets in New York pissing in his own mouth.

Exactly.

You're not cheering him on.

Exactly.

If you're fucking getting on the boat with all your belongings

and people are fucking, you know, they, you know, and you see some homeless guy begging, you know, and all of a sudden you don't give him a dollar and he fucking pisses in his own mouth.

Yeah.

You, what's your reason?

Then I'll give him the dollar.

You want to get out of there as soon as possible.

Right.

But then you get on the boat, and for some reason, because he's on a stage and you saw him on TV,

then it's like fucking standing ovation.

Yeah.

Encore, encore.

He's famous.

Number two.

No, like that's what it's what he's been celebrated for his entire career.

Like that sort of hijinks.

It's people love him.

I thought that it was more the pain stuff.

I didn't know.

I was, I got to say, when somebody told me, I think it was Jimmy the hair guy, actually, told me that he pissed in his mouth.

I was surprised.

Was it a stream?

I think it was a stream, yeah.

Wow.

I think he got on, from what I understand, he got on his back and like cocked his leg, you know, propped his legs up and then just pissed in his own face.

So you said that his aunts have gone and been like, Walt is a genius.

Yeah.

Okay.

The barometer for fucking being a a genius then is like these same people who said that are also fucking like Steve-O.

Yes.

Yeah.

Okay.

That's really fucking wiped out.

You just took it away from him.

Yeah.

That really wipes out the accolade

of being called a genius when.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Wow.

Wow.

That's so fucked up.

I'm surprised.

I can't believe no one mentioned that just in passing.

Wanted to save it.

It's on stage.

It was on stage?

Yeah, this is

during one of the Eric Andre shows.

Could anybody have done that on stage, stage, or is it just Steve-O?

I think just Steve-O.

Anybody else?

You're like, wow, he crossed the line?

I would be like, if you were late coming from poker, and they're like, yeah, Brian Johnson piece in his own mouth.

What's reaction?

Honestly, please.

I know it's hard for you to be honest because now you're friends with.

No, I would.

If Brian did it, I would be like, I would be like, dude, why?

Because

he's my best friend.

It's like, he's on the.

He degraded himself.

He's representing me, Brian.

Steve-O's not representing me.

In a way, he is.

You guys hired him.

Sure, but we hired him because people love him.

And love him.

I got hired because I'm their friend.

No, that's not true.

He got hired because that behavior is why he...

Well, wait a minute.

Okay, but he got hired because people love him.

And

you're hiring Brian to come along because you can't love him.

That's all I'm saying.

But he is representing.

We didn't hire Brian to pee in his mouth on stage.

Sorry, but Brian,

But I saw the reaction that Steve-O got the next night.

You know, he's floundering.

You're late.

Yeah, I'm late.

What do I do?

What do I do?

I wouldn't be angry.

I wouldn't be angry.

I wouldn't be angry, but I would be like, you wouldn't be angry.

I wouldn't be angry.

No, your mom wouldn't have to say that.

All that work you would be done.

What's your reaction then?

You're not completely blown away?

I'm blown away, but I'm not angry.

I'm like.

Are you able to even fucking talk after hearing such news for like at least fucking 20 minutes?

I don't think I can verbalize anything.

Yeah, I would be like, Is he okay?

Because I can't imagine him getting in that position and not breaking something.

Somebody help me.

Yeah, I assumed he was just going to just try just from a sitting position.

Oh, like a fountain, he's just like a dog, like you know, just like a dog with a hose.

Like, you know, a dog goes after a hose.

I'm like, I'm jumping up and snapping at it.

He's barely getting anything in his mouth, but he gets a few.

Wow, you got it.

That fucking Johnson hog is so big anyway.

It's halfway to his fucking mouth.

After it was air, the audience knows he got at least some in his mouth.

A drop.

Not as much as Steve-O, but he tried.

I would not be angry, but I would be like.

You would.

Because I think people walk away being like, holy shit, see what Steve-O did, as opposed to like, did you see

that?

Like,

he's not known for doing things like that.

And then Home Point just dropped.

Yeah, like

a stunt like that out of nowhere was alarming.

I texted Jimmy.

Okay.

Yes.

Q was on right before it.

Bry would have seen it, but he bailed out.

Ha ha.

Just be like, were you disgusted?

Like, was it disgusting?

I'm going to write.

That's fucking so gross.

That's so fucking gross.

He's not going to know how to react.

I thought it was cool.

I'm just now finding out.

I'm just finding out.

Yeah, like, you know, as much as I try, you're like, I try, but like, once I find out, like,

shit like this, it really is going to to be hard for me to be a Jimmy the Hair Guy fan.

But then I talked to Steve-O, and like, he's opening an animal sanctuary.

He loves animals, he's saving animals, he's shown me pictures of like animals he saved.

So, you're like, Is there some CTE maybe

from all the bruises that he's had to his body and his head?

I wouldn't be surprised, but he doesn't come off that way.

He's completely verbose.

I don't get to meet him.

I don't really get to meet him or Eric Andre, yeah.

Oh, he he doesn't come off as a damage.

He's like a thoughtful, sweet kind of dude.

You know what?

You know what?

Jimmy won me over.

He's not this fucking, you know, he goes, ha ha, yeah.

When I wrote, that's so fucking gross.

Ha ha, yeah.

It turned the audience off.

People were already kind of not into it.

And then when Steve-O came out and did that, he lost like 60% of the audience easy.

Not me, though.

Ha ha.

I think Jimmy may have CTE with all the ha-has he writes after everything.

Who writes ha-ha after everything?

He does.

He does a lot, I guess.

He won me over, dude.

Jimmy the hair guy.

I'm fully on that team now, Walt.

Yeah.

He might have lost you.

But he won me over.

He rap battled against Ming.

He did a great job.

Great.

He had everybody on the team.

Are we going to hear it?

I got to review it.

Well, I figured what we'll do is because Chuck recorded everything and did video for everything.

So I figured what I'll do is I'll watch them.

I'll take out what I think is

not hard for the course, and then I'll pass it on to you, Steve.

So you got a second.

Do you own the footage of Steve-O's performance?

I don't know if that was recorded.

I don't know that that was recorded.

The only reason Space Monkeys was is because Chuck was there and wanted to go.

Yeah, yeah, Chuck pushed hard for it.

He was like, No, I want to do this.

I want to do this.

Yeah, you know, there's something I always think about leaving those Space Monkey shows on the boat, but I mean, it's worth the exercise, I guess, because you're right.

What if it's just like, oh, this is great?

Yeah, and the rap battle must be seen.

The rap battle has to be seen.

Mings One True3 is fucking awesome.

Oh, dude, Mings One True Tree, man.

Mings One True Three.

I couldn't believe it.

Yeah.

It's out there, man.

So, yeah,

there's stuff that has to be seen.

You didn't even say, you didn't even, when you've mentioned that Steve Opiss, you didn't even follow it up with it's out there, but Mings 1 True 3 is out there.

People know now.

Wow.

Fun cruise, man.

Yeah, it was great.

It was really fun.

Really fun cruise.

I wouldn't.

have thought that I would have been able to have that much fun on a boat after Joe left the show because he drove so much of that cruise, but man

at the same time, I missed Joe.

I fucking really missed him.

I wish he was on that boat, but

we're not at that juncture yet where he's coming back and playing with us like that yet.

But, you know, who knows?

Who knows?

Who knows?

Who knows?

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I have an ant that I need to spotlight, if that's all right.

We have a new notable ant.

The handy ant.

This is, remember my robot?

That we were like, can somebody fix my robot?

My robot's been fixed.

It got shipped back to my house.

Holy shit, man.

It talks.

What kind of robot was this again?

It's that

refresh us?

What is it?

The Omnibot 2000.

It's like.

What year was this released?

80s.

I'll show you a picture of the Omnibot.

Yeah, I remember this.

Yeah, it was.

I got it.

It was rotted out from the inside.

And this aunt was, hey, send it to me

and I will get this working.

And he sure did.

That guy.

Nice.

Now it works.

Like it talks.

You can talk through a mic through it.

Now he added features that didn't even fucking exist.

The eyes flashed.

He sent me a tape of Elvis songs in its chest.

And we can play, the eyes start flashing along to Elvis and stuff, and it looks like he's singing Elvis.

So he's great.

So it's this guy,

an ant, lovely, lovely man.

The handy ant is what he's calling himself.

His name is Utkan.

Oh, yeah.

yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah.

He is from, he is from somewhere else, but he has, he's from Chicago.

He came to the U.S.

from Turkey, Istanbul, in 1997 when he was 17.

He met his wife, married her in 99, and he gave me Turkish goodies as well.

So he has a handyman business in Chicago

called www.jackofallrepairs.com.

I am telling you, the work that this guy did

is unfucking believable.

Tony Stark of TSD town right this guy this is why you're a genius you know what i mean it's a piss in your mouth

this is why i love this guy thank god this is why i love this guy this guy is the tony stark of of telehamstead dave town he is i think he's going to be in our rotation for me any from now on anytime i need something to kind of fix how much more robotics do you have uh sitting around at home that you need well he's just refurbished all trades my friend oh really all trade that's his website yeah so he could he could fix fix anything.

Anything.

Anything, Walmart.

All right.

Where's he out of?

Chicago.

Chicago.

Okay.

So check that out.

He's been listening from day one.

He's like a rabid fan.

Rabid ant.

Rabid ant.

Hopefully, we'll get him in here one day.

But I was like, dude, let me pay you for this.

And

he's like, I'm not taking money from you.

And I'm like, well, you should, but

he won't do it.

But if you insist.

Yeah, I'm like, well, I'm only going to ask three times.

There's no fourth time, my friend.

So Tony Stark.

So thank you.

And I I will be showing off that

robot very shortly.

Yeah, I'm going to do like a video series on it.

Oh, yeah?

I think so.

Bringing you your slippers and stuff.

Yeah.

High five in you?

He fixed the arm.

Like, it moves now.

It picks things up.

It's like he upgraded.

I love it.

I got to spotlight the Tony Stark guy.

There you go.

Thank you.

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I forgot I had written a note.

I didn't think about it until later on when Sexy Lawyer was here that Giddam has straightened his beard for the occasion.

Because of John.

He doesn't really want to be called Sexy Lawyer.

Does he want to be called it anymore?

I think now, since we know his name now, you know, some of you suggested Johnny Law, which I love.

Oh, that's pretty good.

Johnny Law is great.

Johnny Law.

Yeah, no,

I mean, it's very flattering to be called the sexy lawyer, but

I could see why he would prefer something else.

And I think Johnny Law is pretty good.

I think he's fucking up, but all right.

Caused a little dissension in the Johnson household.

She didn't agree.

She, you know, because we did on video.

So if you want to go to YouTube, TSD Town, if you haven't seen the episode yet, I was in the other room and I hear, sexy lawyer, my ass.

Well, she has a type.

She definitely is a type, right?

But then I find myself defending the fucking guy.

There it is.

It's brown.

Yeah.

He hasn't gone gray yet.

Doesn't look like Santa Claus to me.

He doesn't look like play bingo for shit.

Look at all that vim and vigor.

Yeah, I was sitting there defending the guy.

I was like, you don't think he's a good-looking guy?

She's no.

I go,

you can't see this guy in a catalog somewhere.

She goes, have you seen catalogs lately?

She didn't want to hear it.

Wow.

Has she gone for an eye test lately?

She has perfect vision.

She has a lot of vision.

You know what's going on, right?

What?

Oh, she's overcompensated.

Yeah, she's playing.

What else is she going to say?

Nothing.

Yeah, sometimes it's safe in the heart.

Really, you know, because you could be sitting there and the thoughts could creep in.

Like, does she think he's sexy?

And suddenly, like, within a minute.

You know, he doesn't want to be called sexy lawyer anymore, right?

Yeah, yeah.

She's like playing chess.

She's two moves ahead.

Oh, man.

Doth protest.

I'm like, king me.

I mean, Brian Johnson.

He's playing bingo.

He's playing checkers.

I'm having fun over here.

My wife thinks I'm sexy.

Yeah.

That sexy lawyer ain't shit compared to me.

Yeah, Brian.

Yeah.

Ew.

Ew.

Gross, right, very good.

King me.

I would have said tell him, Steve, but I do want to

make an announcement that

sorry.

Oh, my God, sorry.

Um, I'm back.

So many listeners reached out to me about the possibility of prosecuting Gidham.

We've had other lawyers reach out for us.

We have actually, yeah.

TSD

has a lot of fucking high-powered lawyers listening.

From what I gather from all the emails I got after this, it's like it's one lawyer after another, you know, putting their extending their hand to help out in this situation.

Trial is fate.

My vote would be for Mary Rachel.

Smart lawyer.

You got people?

I got a guy.

I got the guy because I don't think we're going to be able to top this.

And I didn't respond to any people who reached out because it's hard to be like, we already got somebody.

Right.

I'm sorry.

So just ignore them.

We're doing it here right now.

Okay.

This is much easier than responding to fucking 30 emails about me.

But we had a lawyer reach out to us and on his resume, get this.

So he is the only lawyer to ever cross-examine BTK.

And now he'll be the only lawyer to cross-examine BTK and get him.

And get him.

Oh, of course.

It's got to be him.

It's got to be him, right?

It was about some sort of like dog-catching.

Yeah, he used to be a dog catcher.

Yeah, yeah.

It had to do with something like that, and he got to cross-examine him in some sort of case, not involving anything but murder or anything.

Oh, okay.

But, you know, because BTK pleaded guilty, there was no reason for him to get on the stand or be cross-examined.

But for this, he had to be.

So that's some pretty cool catch.

That's a story we could bring in and talk about in the trial as well, I thought.

So

yeah, he's willing to come down in person when we set the date.

and he's going to prosecute Giddam.

And imagine that in your resume?

You put that on a billboard.

I cross-examined BTK and I prosecuted Gidham Steve.

People are like, I don't really know what either of those things mean.

That's the guy I'd want.

Yeah, I want that guy on my legal team.

Wow.

Wow.

So he's going to, that's a powerful person to have against you.

Is Gidham nervous?

I don't think Ginem's nervous.

Giddam has gone around saying that he doesn't care if he loses.

But if he loses, he's not getting back on Mike.

He doesn't seem to be that all that worried about it i gotta say like uh this it the get him free radio did come back to bite people because last week uh q got sick which is why there was a uh

some time between episodes q got sick so q couldn't make it down and uh i've been sick ever since i got off the boat but i could have made it i was like you know i could probably i could probably do it i just i would have been coughing a lot but i was like but we don't got that third mic and we don't got get him i think we have so many people that we can call in like you know

who, you know, if Q is unavailable, they have so many people that would be willing to come on.

And, you know, when Q did the movie, I remember we brought in a different guest

every episode, like Frank was on, then Troy, then Chris.

So, I mean,

who needs them?

We could get by without Get him.

I mean, sure.

Who the fuck needs him?

All right, is that it?

That's pretty much it.

Oh, no, since I saw you last, Sage turned 18.

Oh, my God.

I saw that on Instagram.

Wow.

Believe that shit, yeah.

And she hasn't wasted a moment reminding me or letting me know that she's an adult and all this other stuff.

So then I have to remind her, like, okay, well, if you're an adult, you can do this by yourself.

And she goes, that shit she doesn't want to hear.

Uh-huh.

None of the responsibility.

None of the responsibility.

Yeah.

Pretty much.

If I can get away with it, I would.

Yeah.

But now I've got to come up with an 18th birthday.

Yeah, 18, man.

Oh, you haven't had the birthday yet?

We had like a family party, but I still got to get our friends together.

But I'm like, what do you do for, you know, she wants to go to like one of those trampoline places.

To go to one of the trampoline places.

You just go right over there, right over by the old Kmart Plaza.

Oh, really?

All right.

Done.

You're invited.

Is it a party?

Yeah.

You can try out your hand, you know?

I'll invite a couple more dudes.

Tell them, Steve Dave.

Before we go, I just wanted to give a quick shout out to Professor Christopher LeBlanc and his 3D printing lab at the University of New Hampshire for all their help with some 3D scanning.

And I also wanted to thank anyone who emailed in.

The response was overwhelming, and I really do appreciate that.

So again, thank you, Professor LeBlanc.

and your lab.

I really do appreciate all the hard work you did and as well as to anybody who emailed in and offered their services.

Thanks, guys.