#582: Calloused Ears

Yeah, this is also why I'm gonna need to uh get an officially four-colored demo branded uh butt plug.

Um,

um, um

I think it's a mic thing.

Okay.

MIC thing.

Thank God.

Tell him Steve Dave.

Hello and welcome to

Hello and welcome to this week's edition of Tell him Steve Dave.

Shaking off the cobwebs, man.

It's been a couple weeks now.

2024.

Yeah.

Here we are.

I was driving down here.

I was listening to an InSync song.

It came out in the year 2000.

And the thought occurred to me that to a child born today,

that's like a song from the early 50s for me.

Yeah.

That's fucking nuts.

I use that same context when I'm trying to watch.

When I'm trying to watch something

from the 60s and Mary Beth is watching it with me.

And I'm like, it's like she's watching something from from the 20s.

It's like, what's up, hot tea?

Hatu.

Wow.

Yeah.

Still, still good songs, though.

Timeless.

Timeless, timeless songs.

Happy New Year, boys.

Happy New Year.

Happy New Year.

What'd you do, Walt?

How'd you tear it up?

I think I just watched TV is what I normally do on New Year's.

Yeah.

Yeah, I didn't do anything.

New Year's is, as I've said a million times, it's not a

complete

downer, you know as opposed to Christmas

yeah

what about you

me yeah I stayed home Troy didn't have his party this year oh what happened he's just having a low-key he was in the city and stuff doing a couple things so he kept it low-key this year and

just stayed home.

Sage went to her mother's.

So all I had to do was try to stay awake long enough to say Happy New Year to her.

Because, you know, we've just watched the ball drop on YouTube and then

pull it off.

you stayed awake then?

I stayed awake, yeah.

It was like 5 to 12 when I started drifting.

I was like, all right, let me stand up and walk around a little.

Old fuck.

Yeah.

How about you?

I spent mine in a retirement community

where everything shuts down at 9 o'clock.

I ended up watching it on the couch with my mom.

Yeah.

Watched the Nashville, the Nashville one.

That was on CBS, yeah.

I was never into new country music, but there were a few songs on there that I was like,

I jotted down the name.

You should go to the Texas Roadhouse.

All the new country music you could ever hope for.

All right.

They play it non-stop.

It just, I never really liked the sound of it.

Yeah.

But something clicked in me during the Nash.

Maybe it was, you know, the hot chicks in skin-tight clothing singing it.

Every video is the same.

Every video is like.

guys on these party boats, you know, like out in the lake, and they're all playing guitars and girls half naked dancing around.

Every video is the same.

It seems like a pretty good time.

It seems like a great time.

It seems like they're having a fucking blast.

We're making fun.

Look at these hicks.

Yeah, he's out there fucking a chick on each arm, man.

Drinking some Papst, bringing some Budweiser, you know?

Yeah.

They know how to have a good time.

Or at least portray it as if they are.

Yeah, and I, you know, and like they do this thing in the middle of it where at like 10 o'clock, they cut to a local news station.

Like they go down from Dick Clark's Rock and Eve and the Nashville one.

It's like, we'll break for Ampa.

So my mother was like,

because we were on the couch.

She wasn't getting up.

You know what I mean?

My dad was already passed out.

And I was like, oh, I started watching the show, The Bear.

Have you heard of the, have you seen The Bear?

Have you heard of The Bear?

No.

Holy fucking shit.

It's a show about a guy whose brother kills himself and he's a top chef.

He's like one of the best chefs in the world.

And his brother owns a shitty sandwich shop in Chicago.

And for whatever reason, he just throws away a career after his brother kills himself and he goes to run the restaurant.

That's what the show is about, basically.

And it is intense.

Like, you can't even fucking believe what you're watching.

It's only eight episode seasons short.

Is it reality?

No, it's scripted.

But it's shot in such a way that, like,

getting a sandwich out becomes a fucking soul crusher.

Like, it's wild how they really did such a great job with this TV show.

And I was like, God, Ma, I was like, I just started watching the show, The Bear.

Why don't we watch it?

But on the first episode, I look over my mom about 15 minutes in, and she's actually got a frown on her face,

shaking her head at the screen.

I'm like, Mom, we don't have to keep what she's in there.

And I'm like, this isn't for me.

She's going, this isn't for me.

So it was like, so, you know, I ruined the day for a little bit there.

There you go.

Gave her some shit.

And then we went back to Nashville, watched the ball drop.

It was nice.

Is it because of the content or is it because it's a little too vaulted?

I mean, what would make her frown, though?

I mean, I wouldn't be interested in a restaurant-based show either.

You should watch this show.

It's fucking beyond excellent.

What's it called?

The Bear.

The Bear.

It is,

I think that the intensity of it and the fact that my mother, I guess, used to watch cooking shows and she's like, it looks like they're cooking because they're over the shoulder in the kitchen and shit like that.

I don't know.

Carol Quinn's mine.

There's no way to tell why she likes or doesn't like it.

And that was it.

The ball dropped.

And then I was in bed by like 12.15.

There's nothing to do in the villages past 9 o'clock.

There's nothing.

So that was it.

But it was nice, you know?

Were you there for Christmas too?

No, I couldn't make it for Christmas.

Yeah.

Yeah, I was home alone.

You know me.

Oh, yeah.

I'm alone on Christmas, bro.

That's my defining feature.

I thought you went down to your parents this year for some reason.

No, I couldn't do it.

Of course.

Oh, right.

Yeah.

Well, you were there for Thanksgiving, right?

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Me

and my

assistant swap, which days that we are out of town.

Gotcha.

So

there we go.

Nice.

I feel good about this new year, man.

Yeah, energized.

Energized.

I got pep.

Pep in my step, man.

What did you do for Christmas?

Anything?

Very quiet.

It was nice, but it was

nothing.

There's no stories to come out of Christmas, you know, nothing of

interest.

It's not that it's the same thing.

Everybody get along.

Yeah,

you can't manufacture a story, though,

if nothing happens.

There were like, I didn't have Christmas at my place.

For some reason, Pam wanted to have it at hers.

She's like, it's not fair, you know, if you do Thanksgiving and Christmas.

I said, all right, if that's what you want to do.

But there's like, I mean, you know the size of that.

You both know the size of that.

You all three know the size of that house.

There's like 14 people upstairs.

So it's very crowded.

There's nowhere to like sit.

You know, when you're eating, you have to kind of

sit at a chair and, you know, have your plate on your lap.

But

there were moments where Edgar was getting pissy.

And I'm like, I wonder if it's like...

A sign of respect that they don't argue at the house, like at my place,

or there's something about that house.

Well, everybody grew up in that house.

Everybody grew up in that house.

Everybody feels probably most comfortable in that house, being, you know.

Yeah, everybody sticks into old roles, entitled to certain things.

Yeah, because Edgar started getting pissy.

The guy didn't leave the kitchen the entire time I was there.

Really?

He did not leave the kitchen, except to go into the bedroom for a minute, and then he came back out, went back in the kitchen.

He's cooking.

He's washing dishes.

He's cleaning up.

He's serving the food.

He's doing all this shit.

And then Pam comes in and she's got yelled at or something.

So she's all like morose and sitting in the chair, like, you know, moping and shit.

So I thought maybe something might come of that, but she rebounded.

All right.

You got any

resolutions for the year?

I didn't make any resolutions because I generally don't abide by them.

Although, we are doing this year me.

I was going to try to think of who's in it.

Me, so far, me, Rupp, Tom, Victor, Jimmy the Hair Guy.

We're doing a fat Boy Winter.

It's a group weight loss

goal.

Fat Off, we used to call it in the firehouse.

Yeah, Fat Off?

Yeah, we're having a Fat Off.

Yeah, so we're having a Fat Off.

And I'm not sure.

They wanted to weigh Giddam in, but Giddam won't join.

Oh, really?

Yeah, Gidham said no.

Is there a prior?

Well, we used to do is everybody used to kick in 20 bucks, and whoever lost the most.

This is bragging rights, which I'm not as crazy about.

Yeah, I think you need a little skin in the game.

A little incentive, right?

Yeah, yeah.

They said you could join walt yeah tom uh reached out and uh i was like oh you mean old fat walt flatigan yeah let him join he loses five pounds he beats everybody percentage wise

that's what i asked him i was just like so what come on flavigan what

do you think the winning percentage

weight loss is going to be like and he said probably

10%

he thinks will win it.

Like if you lose 10% of your body weight,

he thinks that could win it.

So I was just like,

if I got to lose like 17 pounds, I was like, I'm not going to win that.

You should have it when you were sick, man.

You probably lost the weight then, right?

Yeah.

Well, I found with the fat offs, like, you're not betting on yourself, you're betting against everybody else.

Because most people give up after like.

Yeah, you have to bet on their lack of willpower.

Yeah.

The reason they look like they currently do is because of the lack of willpower.

Yeah.

They wouldn't be where they are.

We wouldn't be having a fat off if they weren't born to lose.

No, I mean, if I got tits, it's for a reason, man.

So do you encourage, like, the other guys, like, slip

candy bars in their locker?

There's no need to.

People, they author their own destruction, man.

Who do you think is going to take it?

Who's in it?

It's me, Jimmy, Rupp, Victor, and Tom so far.

I thought Brad was in on it, too.

Is he?

Oh, is he?

I thought so.

I could be wrong.

It's tough because, like,

those guys, right now, I lost weight over the summer into the winter.

I'm still not where I want to be.

But if I had started where I started in the summer,

I might be able to do it percentage-wise.

But now that I got thinner, it's going to be harder to lose that weight.

So I don't know.

I'm not sure who the fattest one is.

Well, who, I mean, my money's not on being the fattest, but on winning is on Victor.

Victor, huh?

Yeah, yeah.

I have seen Victor's stick-to-itiveness when it comes to working out.

There's something about that boy.

Yeah.

Yeah.

He's got a glint in his eye.

He's hungry.

Yeah.

That's how I got here in the first place.

I remember he used to lift weights back like when he first started.

Yeah.

Yeah.

He was doing real well.

Yeah.

But then his back popped, I thought.

Oh, I threw his back out, kidney stones and all kinds of shit.

Yeah.

So, um,

so, oh, here, Victor Photographer texting me right now.

Look at that guy.

Bastard.

His ears were ringing.

You know, we got to get moving on those jet skis, right?

Jet ski.

I have a story about a jet ski where a lady's like

private parts imploded.

What?

Yeah, let me.

Hold on, I'll pull it up.

Well, I guess the water just went up.

She was on a jet ski.

She was riding legs akimbo.

And then, like, the ocean just entered her vagina.

It's weirder than that.

It's like her

got fucked by Poseidon

that blew apart our you.

Russian woman dies of genital rupture.

Wow.

Wow.

They don't tell you about that when you're buying it, right?

Are you renting it?

Like, yeah, your balls might explode.

It's not in the brochure.

Your pussy might blow up.

Well, it's from Russia.

I already don't believe it.

She fell off.

A Russian woman died of a genital rupture she sustained when she fell off a high-speed jet ski.

Her husband was driving.

Blah, blah, blah.

They were enjoying a day on the water when she fell into the water as he accelerated away.

After another turn, the woman could not stay on the jet ski and fell into the water.

And at that moment, her husband hit the gas and she sustained a serious hydraulic injury.

The impact of the fall created a water hammer effect, which occurs when a fluid in motion stops or is forced to change direction suddenly, causing her to suffer the genital rupture.

There she is in happier times.

Oh, she's pretty cute.

Yeah.

Oof.

Now she's got a blown-up puss.

She was going to need that.

Yeah.

Walking around looking that cute.

This is the strangest thing, though.

Okay, so she

was rushed to a local hospital, but she eventually succumbed to her injuries.

No.

man.

I guess it was a uterine eruption.

Uterine rupture, sorry,

that can cause acute onset abdominal pain and vaginal bleeding.

And now the husband is on the hook for this, causing net death by negligence.

What?

What?

What is that?

Yeah, the woman's husband says a criminal case against him has begun.

What did he do wrong?

He just shred he's too rad?

He's too rad.

He's too rad.

He was doing the bonsai.

The guy just lost his cute fucking wife.

And they're going to throw this shit on him?

Mm-hmm.

Not only do you lose your wife, but now you're in trouble because you were driving your jet ski too fast.

Is this making you rethink

the jet ski?

Well, at least bringing a passenger on.

Yeah.

Next thing you know, I'm under criminal investigation because she can't sit on a fucking jet ski.

Yeah, this is also why I'm going to need to get an officially four-colodema-branded butt plug

to jam in for the ride.

On the back is just the skull.

yeah

it's like safety first boys

all aboard yeah like is there like safety clothing you could wear to prevent this i don't know man it's well what was she wearing right was she wearing like a thong

uh didn't say didn't say about what she was wearing i assume a bathing suit though some sort yeah well you think you think a thong doesn't provide as much protection as a radio one if you get around that yeah if you got a little floss up there yeah yeah

It's weird how shit like this becomes a story, though, right?

Well, the weirdest thing, I know we've mentioned it many times on the show, but that when we were in the keys and that woman's head got tore off by a stingray,

that was the craziest fucking thing I've ever heard.

The island was a buzz.

Yeah.

It's all anybody would talk about in every part.

Yeah, some woman was on a boat with her family and they were like zooming along and the stingray jumped out of the water at the exact wrong time,

hit her face and like apparently tore her fucking

killed her immediately.

Definitely snapped her neck back.

The story by now, it's been 20 years.

We could just say it was ripped off, right?

Like a stingray just ripped her head off.

Was that what killed Steve Irwin?

He had a stingray to the heart.

Those things, but they're not really trying to kill you, right?

It's just the speed and the...

Yeah.

It's bad luck, man.

Well, Steve Irwin, I mean, he went as far as he can go.

He did a lot of dangerous things without getting.

It's surprising he didn't get zaps.

But wasn't it the same thing that it

came out of the water and got him in the channel?

No, he was on the water and he was manipulating it and it just darted darted into his chest and pierced his heart.

Oh, it can do that.

That tail can do that, huh?

Yeah, that's pretty heartbreaking, man.

I liked him too.

And then

they had the footage, and the only people that ever saw the footage was his wife and the police, and then they destroyed it.

Just crazy.

You see his son?

Steve Erwin's son looks just like him.

It's nice.

Yeah, it's wild.

I know Bindy is continuing his work.

The daughter.

Oh, yeah?

Yeah.

I think she's in her 20s or something.

She's a little girl, right?

She'd be old.

Shit.

Nice.

Nice.

So.

All right.

So

no New Year's red.

What about you?

Anything?

No, nothing.

No goals?

No goals.

No.

I haven't really

don't really play that

resolution thing.

I find it to be,

you know.

Either do it or you don't, regardless of the time of year.

Yeah, I don't buy into that.

You know, this is the year I'm going to do this or that or this.

Yeah.

You know, just want to make it to the next one.

Survive.

Make it to the next one.

I hear you, man.

I had a pretty dark week, I would say.

What's going on?

It was like, I don't know.

It just like right after Christmas, man, this depression hit me.

And I just like, it was probably the worst I've had in some time.

Oh, wow.

Deep and dark and like thorough.

To the point where I'm like, I don't want to do anything.

I don't want to get out.

I don't want even to get out of bed.

Hi, you know?

You should have reached out to me, man.

Yeah, because I hate reach out because I'm just like, I know it'll pass.

And I'm like, what am I going to do?

I'm going to call Q and bother him with this shit.

You're not bothering me.

It'll pass faster if we're making fun of him.

Yeah, that's true.

That actually does help a lot.

We start making fun of me.

All right.

So what happened next time?

Did you figure it out?

I never figured it out.

I don't know if it's the medication or what.

Like, there's this medication that I'm supposed to be taking, but it's so fucking, it's like $700, $800 a month.

Holy shit.

Yeah, I know.

It's almost as much as my insurance.

That is crazy.

It's nuts.

Did you try that Mark Cuban

drug thing?

Mark Cuban.

Yeah.

All right.

I want to hear this, even though people have been saying, keep get them off the mic.

Mark Cuban started

like a discount

pharmacy program.

Oh, yeah.

Yeah.

To try to help people get better access to medication.

Yeah, it's like one of these new drugs, so it's proprietary and there's no generic yet and all that other stuff.

$700 a month.

That's nuts, isn't it?

That's like a mortgage.

Yeah.

Oof.

It's rough.

What are you going to do, though?

But it doesn't work.

Yeah, then you get depressed on top of it?

No, it does work, but I ran out.

Oh.

Yeah, I ran out.

So

you can't put a price on.

If it works, you really can't put a price on it then, right?

Isn't it priceless?

It should be, but $700 a month is a lot.

Yeah.

Yeah, I don't know.

But yeah, that was up until like New Year's and then it started to pass.

And then

I think also I start to get down because

when did we record Christmas?

Like the

12th.

The 12th.

And then we did some Patreon after that, right?

We did one after it, right?

Yeah.

Because I had the Zoom in.

Right.

Yeah.

So we did one more after that.

So that would have been like around the 19th or so.

So yeah, by that point.

We're not doing Telm's Duty for like two weeks.

I start to get like

edgy and antsy.

And all I do, I don't talk to anybody.

Wander around the house.

You have to talk to the wife.

Getting attacked by the dog.

The dog of the dog.

You got to be sometimes you got to be proactive though if you want to talk to people though.

You're right.

You're right.

Because nobody's sitting around being like, I wonder if Brian needs somebody to talk to.

Like, why would you?

Like, why would anybody think that?

Well, if you respond to text, maybe other people would text you.

Oh, boy.

Well, I respond to your text all the time.

Are you kidding me?

Okay.

All the time.

You show me a text I didn't respond to.

Okay.

That's crazy talking.

That's shit from Giddam.

I know.

Tell me.

It's your own fault.

He's going.

Son of a bitch.

Victim blaming.

Yeah, you know.

You talked about him taking it on the chin

in terms of people complaining.

He's on the mic too much.

Oh, what I missed.

What did I miss?

I missed something?

One of the things, it just tickled me.

He lashed, not, I don't, that's the wrong word.

He didn't lash out, but

he was irked at me because he felt that if I had spoken more in the last episode, he wouldn't have, he goes, it's your fault.

You didn't talk as much

as you usually do, which just made me laugh so hard.

It's your fault.

Oh.

That's a good broadcaster, though.

You know, you got to fill up that dead air.

You can't make a wall.

It's going to have to do with what it's driving.

If it's driving me crazy, I can only imagine it's driving other people crazy, is you have a nervous, I don't don't know if it's nerves or something, but

you have to make a noise, it feels like every two minutes.

And

it sounds like at this point.

Oh, like he's responding to something somebody says.

Yes.

And it feels like fingernails on a chalkboard to me.

I don't know if anybody else.

He does that off-mic as well.

No,

I think it's a mic thing.

Okay.

M-I-C thing.

Thank God.

I do think it's some sort of like

it's so funny how you work it in.

I do think it's some sort of like

a subconscious thing, but

tick, yeah.

I think I'm just letting people know I'm listening to them.

I'm not just ignoring them, you know.

I think that the eye contact is the assumption that you're

listening.

We don't need a verbal or

some sort of audio tell that you're paying attention.

Right?

I mean,

I'm just saying it's especially on an audio podcast.

Like, you know, like, remember that one time, one video, one podcaster we're listening to, and I told you I was like, I couldn't even stay in the room because of these like, um, um, um,

yeah, yeah, that's what the that's what it's getting, it's getting close to that.

Oh, okay.

I apologize for that.

Well, they call it

crutch words.

What's that?

Crutch words.

What does that mean?

That means like when you're when you're trying to bridge two thoughts.

thoughts like i'm a big um guy i constantly

um oh my god yeah i don't know how people eliminate it i listen to sportscasters and i listen for it and i'm like how the fuck do they do this live

and they never go um yeah it's training how do you do it though i don't know i've never been able to do it you know i would like to go to that training well uh sure you can find it on youtube now that's a good thing it's got to be yeah i think that guy eric said uh

let's see i'm doing it that they if there's certain words that the person is saying

that was it was on purpose

that way you know

if if the talent has a problem saying a certain word over and over again they would actually write the word like on a board that's in their view and they're let they were less likely to say it then

oh really yeah he said it uh we were at the stash that one time

um

i think zia was there was it eric

uh maybe

i don't remember what you're talking about you should hear like the the way these guys get trashed, too.

I know these are names like Chris Collinsworth, Aikman, and Romo.

These are football guys.

These are football guys that got to talk for like three hours straight and they never go um.

And all they do is get trashed online.

They're saying they're not good?

Like how they're garbage, how like, you know, they're going to put an ice pick in their ears.

If listeners are like, get him off the air.

And I'm like,

but nobody ever types in.

I never see someone go like, it's fucking astounding that they never fall into like the uh they never say um are you kidding me?

To me, that is worthy of an Emmy.

Like if you can go the whole game live and never once stumble into an um or a uh or lose it or have a brain fart.

Yeah, like lose your train of thought, any of that.

I think a lot of that is they diss the team.

People diss their team.

Like Romo disses the Giants.

Now all the Giants fans can't stand it.

And how do you never fall into saying something inappropriate?

Not even in

some of them do.

Or just a cuss word off, like, oh, fuck.

Like, if you say, like, that to me would be something that I feel should happen more and it never happens.

There was that guy who was

mentioning a visit the day before they did to

the Negro League Museum, and he did not say Negro.

What year is this?

It's like two years ago, I think.

And yeah, he caught, I think he got fired.

Well, he's deserved.

Then he's deserving of the criticism.

That's not a mistake you easily make and take back.

But sometimes you're so fixed.

You're going to give him the pass.

Giving him the N-word pass.

Sometimes you're so fixated on not saying the word that you end up saying the word.

But you're a professional.

And why do you have to fixate on not saying the word?

Pretty easy.

No matter what you do.

Can you write that on the chalkboard

so I don't say that?

I'm not saying I'm a professional broadcaster, know their mindset.

Do you get paid to broadcast?

Do you get paid to broadcast?

I said professional.

I said professional.

All that matters is: do you get paid?

That doesn't mean I'm a professional.

Of course, it does.

It doesn't say professional.

If you get paid to do something, you are a professional.

Oh, okay.

Stephen King himself says it.

It's like if you write and

you can pay your electric bill

with that check that they give you, you're a professional.

You're a writer.

And

I'm an ad professional broadcaster to my

Twitter profile.

Now you're in the company of the Aikmans and the Romos.

Everyone's like, I need them.

I want them off.

I'm more like a booger.

Let me see here.

You didn't like him.

Right, but I never was

my opinion online and called him trash and called for his removal from the broadcast.

Though Jeff has said to me that he wanted to stick an ice pick in his ear listening to me talk.

Yeah.

Well, just Sunday Jeff, though, it's like he was exposed to it all day long.

So am I.

Oh, yeah, that's right.

Do you feel that way?

No.

Six days away.

Buy an ice pick?

Yeah.

No ice picks needed here.

My ears have callused over at this point.

Did you see too

Aaron Rodgers?

With the Jimmy Kimmel thing.

What happened?

He made an accusation that

Jimmy Kimmel's name would show up.

He would be nervous because his name might show up on

the Epstein travel logs or something like that.

Aaron Rodgers, I didn't realize this was his thing.

Why is he against Jimmy Kimmel?

I think because Jimmy Kimmel came out against him earlier.

Yeah, because Aaron Rodgers came out and has gotten himself into hot water for not taking the vaccine.

Yeah.

Saying he took the vaccine.

he said he was immunized.

Yeah.

And I guess at that point in time when everything was going on

at the heights of COVID and people not taking the vaccine and taking the vaccine, you hear, I'm immunized.

He really, but that means something else.

It doesn't mean you took the shot.

It means you took some sort of, you know, like new age, new wave.

Well, he was listening to Joe Rogan, right?

He was like, that was his mentor.

He's not iver.

Ivermectin and stuff like that.

But he takes holistic and all that other stuff.

He does these things where you go into like a little hut and you sweat it out for like six days straight.

Aaron Rodgers does that?

Yeah, and you start to like get

you start to go into a different plane of existence.

Oh, so

he does that.

Uh, what was it?

What was it?

The Ashkarama

C.

Yeah, like where the Sherpa or the shaman comes in and shit.

Yeah, yeah.

Do you do that?

I because with ayahuasca, there's a lot of throwing up, and I I hate that.

Oh, yeah, there's nothing wrong with that.

I'd rather not take that.

That's a big fear I have of throwing up.

That's my problem with mushrooms.

Anytime I do mushrooms, it's like a good hour of me either fighting my stomach or throwing up.

You're talking about like psychedelic

mushrooms.

But not like on your pizza, though.

I don't eat mushrooms.

Oh, okay.

The only mushrooms I eat are psychedelic.

Oh.

That's right.

Why else would you eat them?

That's fucking gross and disgusting.

Fucking gross shit, man.

Fungus.

I got to eat this shit-tasting thing, and it's not going to make me see my grandparents.

Why Why would I do this?

It's outrageous.

I mean, I've only done mushrooms like, I think, five, four, five times in my life.

Have you gone into a different plane of existence?

I've gone to some fucking crazy places.

Yeah.

Really?

Yeah.

Wow.

Is this the first time you've mentioned that you've dropped in just casually that you're killing mushrooms?

Dropping out and tuning in.

Maybe.

But, you know.

I don't remember ever hearing this or like I'm a little stunned to hear that you're

experimenting with psychedelics.

Well, we tried that one time, right?

Well, we had a great time on it.

That was fucking a laugh fest.

I didn't really see stuff, but we couldn't stop laughing.

We were dying.

Yeah, it's like at worst, the walls were like shimmery.

Yeah.

I remember laughing our balls off.

Yeah, I did it.

Yeah, that was a great day.

I remember that day.

We were dying, dying, fucking.

I couldn't breathe we were laughing so hard that day.

But I thought you're supposed to find enlightenment, not just like snicker, like fucking dopey fucking high school kids.

Because in reality, the shit we were laughing at is probably so stupid.

It's not supposed to be like, you know, like just giggling like two goofballs.

I know what's wrong with that.

You're supposed to find

some sort of

different plane of existence where you see things in yourself in a new way.

Only taken enough to do that once.

The rest of the time has been low-dose like that, where it's like you kind of.

Did you hear about this?

There's some sort of entity

that everybody sees if they get to a certain point, and this proves that there is something to the

argument that you can get to a different dimension.

Everybody sees the same entity and they describe them the same way.

I mean, what does that entity look like?

Is that the chest?

I'll let you know.

There was one time where I really went on a rocket ride.

Let me hear what you saw.

I didn't see anything like that.

I'm trying to recall my memories.

More just like.

Do you see a creature with more than multiple eyes?

No creature but i was looking at um one of my cats and seeing more than there was there you know what i mean like it became this totem for something else i don't even remember what exactly um what did you see it was just it was more about like insights it's hard to recall when you

sober up if you don't write it down as i said you don't jump down i didn't um i do know there was a feeling there was a feeling of i mean this was a blast this time it was a feeling of like i'm rewriting the rules of the universe.

And it got a little scary because you feel like you're able to do these things.

Because as you're, as I remembered, as I was kind of hallucinating and seeing things, I imagined that I was the one making it happen.

And this is drugs.

This is bullshit.

It's all bullshit.

But I remember being like, I have to be too careful not to change the universe too much so

it resembles what I want it to when I get back.

So So, like, you could shift atoms and change stuff.

Thought creates

type thing.

And then

I was with a girl, and she

very clearly, I remember, turned into like a pile of sand, like really fine quartz.

Okay, and this doesn't terrify you.

That was the only thing that got a little scary because.

And did you think you did it?

Well, yeah, because it was locked into that thing where I was like,

because the thing is, like, you know, know you're on, you know you're on drugs.

I never lost, but the reality of what's happening to you is still so

in the Batman movie when they dehydrated people in the 66 Batman movie and turned them into piles of sand?

Were you just like, did you just happen to watch Batman 66?

No, no.

It was dark and the shape of her body was on the bed next to me.

We were both tripping.

Wait a minute.

So you're tripping without somebody who's not tripping?

You don't have somebody who's to watch over you to make sure you don't fucking claw your eyes out with a fucking

jump out a window or something.

You don't have to eat a baby there.

I mean, every time that I had done it up until that point was mostly the giggles.

So it didn't really feel like there was a need for that.

Plus, I have friends that do mushrooms literally like every fucking weekend.

Like they're on it, man.

They're on it.

They microdose during the day.

They just fucking do it.

So I was emboldened this one.

Again, I'm no expert.

I've only done it like four or five times.

But I was emboldened that one time and I think I overdid it a little bit.

And then, so I didn't, but even then, like, I got out of it.

It wasn't like I was like, I need someone here to watch me, you know, right?

But, like, you didn't need someone to tether you to

the normal.

You're not a downer, some bummer sitting around telling me that everything's going to be all right.

No, no, I'm always

just the guy.

No, just somebody to make sure you don't do something stupid for absolutely insane.

No, it's mushrooms, at least I've found, doesn't really work like that.

It's not like acid or anything like that.

And where do people, like, where do you find this mushroom that you just took?

Oh, it's fucking everywhere now, man.

You can get it from anybody now.

Now they have places, what they'll do is they grind them into pills.

You don't have to eat the mushrooms anymore.

They grind them up and put them in, like, the gel capsules, and you just swallow those, and like, that's it.

And

where are you finding?

You just find your buddy who's going to a fish concert the fucking year and you ask him where he got his and

one of the franks.

Oh, which is.

I won't say which Frank.

Not number five, though.

It wasn't number one.

I would guarantee that he would be a guy that knows how to get them.

And these are illegal?

Yes.

Although, I think they're going down the path that marijuana went, which is like they're starting to get loosened up around the edges.

Now, how does one grow the specific kind of mushrooms that do this?

Do you need some sort of different kind of fecal matter?

I don't know.

I don't know the process.

I used to, every once in a while, I would have people like, oh, you live on a horse farm?

Can I get like a five-gallon bucket of manure?

Oh, it's the horse manure.

They said the horse manure wasn't as good as other manure, but it would work in a pen.

And you wouldn't sell them.

Oh, no, I would give them your own manure.

I'm like, if you want a bucket of horse manure, I will give you a bucket of horse manure.

So,

you know, you have to be somewhat skilled, right?

Because you don't want to take a mushroom that, if you're going to do it anyway, it's gross.

Yeah.

Like you said, you don't want to make sure you take one that's not, that's going to do the trick, not going to just like

gas.

Yeah, your source is someone who.

But that's what they're saying.

Those pills now are just.

And they can tell by the look of the mushroom if it's one of the ones that'll fuck you up.

No, I think they grow a specific type to sell it.

Like they have farms.

Yeah, they put the spores over they put the spores over the

manure.

And that's what they're doing.

Spores?

Spores, yes.

That's how

what's a spore?

It's a little thing that the fungus puts out that helps it replicate.

How tiny is it?

Is it microscopic?

I wouldn't say it looks like dust, like very.

Isn't pollen basically spores?

It almost is, yes.

But pollen, yeah, pollen needs to interact with the

how long does it take to grow a psychedelic psychedelic mushroom?

That I do not know.

I think he's pretty quick.

Yeah, like the weekend?

I don't know if it's that quick, but I think he's pretty fast.

This past fall,

it got rainy, there were so many mushrooms all over the lawn, right?

Like, it seems like they just overlooked it.

And I go around and

try to get rid of them because I'm afraid the dog

might eat them, you know.

I don't want her to start tripping.

Do you get the fairy circles where they grow like in a big nine-foot circle?

Did I get what?

They're called fairy circles.

They tend to grow like in like a nine to ten foot circle mushrooms

in your yard or

in the yard.

Okay.

Yeah, yeah.

I don't know.

Okay.

How much does a mushroom cost?

You know, that's a great question.

I don't remember.

It's been a while, and the last time I got him, I got him.

My buddy just gave them to me.

He pays?

Yeah, I was going to say, he don't pay.

No, he's like Aaron Rodgers.

He don't pay.

Yeah.

Yeah.

You know, if you got cool friends, you know what I mean?

And you can be, there's people in jail who deal mushrooms.

In jail.

I don't imagine, yeah.

Wow, that's so fucked up.

Like something that grows naturally, though.

Well, so does marijuana.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah, it's true.

But it is weird, though.

There's something that grows out of the ground.

It's not.

It's nothing but a plant, a fungus.

That's it.

Yeah, to dry out.

And you're not allowed to

because this makes you feel good.

there's got to be more to it than that though I think it's it's probably not

everybody I think it's the violence that eventually becomes associated with it what do you mean mushrooms well like the the violence of the people selling it and like competition and you know it's oh yeah

really you think there's like a mushroom drive cut through

dealers yeah I was gonna say well I'm not just saying I'm not just saying something is they're associated with like peace and like you know and tripping and everything That's the people who trip.

That's the people who take it.

I'm just saying it's like marijuana where you get like, you know, two dealers whose territory starts crossing and they get into a beef.

What are you watching?

Are you watching?

The wire.

The bloods and the crypts, you know, they'll go to war over mushrooms.

Those guys are selling heroin.

Okay, I'm not saying it's specifically mushrooms, but it's along those lines.

That's why all these things get grouped together.

Okay.

You know, like pot, you know,

you know, pot, cocaine.

You think

you think,

like, urban drug dealers aren't dealing in mushrooms?

What kind of urban street corner?

Yeah.

Crack type guys.

Yeah, you think that they got mushrooms too?

I don't know.

I don't know.

I don't know anything about it, but I would have to think no.

Okay.

I don't know.

I don't know why.

Maybe like a college drug dealer?

Well, I wouldn't buy, like, I wouldn't go to like Washington Square Park and buy mushrooms off someone.

You got to do like a trusted person because they could just be fucking mushrooms.

You know?

Porcinis.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Some porcinis I got from the corner store.

The worst, I remember those mushrooms taste like, it's like eating dirt.

It's like eating

like leaves you pick up off the ground.

And the only other taste like that that I've ever had is when I was big into the pills and I couldn't get pills.

I bought these opium, these poppy pods off the internet and you make opium tea.

And it's yeah, you like you grind up the

Chinese rail worker?

Kind of, yeah, yeah.

I had everything but the house.

The opium den.

Yeah, the den.

If only I had the den.

But yeah, I did that a couple times so like I wouldn't get sick.

Drink opium tea.

Oh, it hardly worked at all, and it tasted like dog shit.

So I eventually stopped.

But yeah, I would like putting them in a blender and like grinding them up, making it into like a tea, straining it all.

This will work.

This will solve all of my problems.

Instead of just stopping it,

this tea?

What's that?

Is this illegal, this tea?

I don't know.

I mean, you could get these pods off the internet, but it's like the thing is, it's the same as with like sesame seeds.

You can get

poppy seed drops.

Oh, just like in a bun?

Well, the poppy seeds on a bun, yeah.

Like, if you get enough of them, you can extract

a certain amount of opium from it.

And yeah, if you eat.

You could even test positive

on drug tests.

Yeah.

Like if I was eating

poppy bagels all the time.

Yeah, when we did drug tests in the fire department, like

whether it was true or not, everybody would be like, don't have a poppy bagel before you do it.

Yeah.

Whether it was true or not.

I feel like it has to be more than

otherwise, people would be eating poppy bagels getting high, right?

I think it was me for the indicator to show up.

Oh, gotcha.

There's apparently a subsequent test you can do that will test the actual level, but a lot of places don't do it.

Just like you popped.

Bye.

Yeah.

All right.

Cool.

Right on.

Thank you, Nancy Reagan.

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Really?

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What if I had ripped that woman out of

$13,000?

What if it was me?

What is your reaction?

I'm still your friend.

I'm questioning what's going on.

I'm definitely going to ask you.

I want to sit down and have a conversation about

it.

That's how I need to get my thrills.

Are you keeping the money for yourself?

Or are you

saying it's just for like amongst us?

No, no, it's like I got caught.

I did it.

I robbed it.

So you weren't.

You weren't even catfishing or really.

You were just trying to scammer.

That's what gets my jollies, is scamming.

Really?

I was like, this is weird.

This is new.

It's not something I was aware of.

Did you at least get me something?

What?

Did you get me something with the money?

What does this have to do?

What do you mean?

You're saying what our reaction would be.

Do you want to taste?

Do you want to wet your beak?

If you had gotten something nice for me, then I'd be totally behind you.

But why would I get something nice from you?

I don't stand.

Oh, okay.

Well, like, what?

Like, what do you mean, something nice?

Like, I've got to do it.

He's coming all the work, and now he's going to buy you a gift.

Yeah, like, like, you bought me a pizza.

You're like, hey, get him here some pizza.

Yeah, I'll buy you pizza.

Okay, I'm cool with it.

All right.

No problems.

No problems.

I mean, aside from the obvious legal entanglements that would follow,

I'd be like, I don't know why I did it.

I think he has enough money.

This must be how he gets his kicks, like he says.

It's illegal, though.

Oh, it's illegal, yeah.

Sure.

To ask for money from women who

are looking for companionship and are willing to send it.

I mean, I'm lying.

I would imagine so.

You're not lying.

You are BQ.

Sure.

You are BQ and you are asking for the money.

The money is not like, you're not being honest about the money because you're lying.

You're saying you got tax problems and all this other stuff.

Oh, I got tax problems.

Yeah.

And he said he had a check.

I got to pay tax on 13 grand I just got.

Yeah.

But like if you're actually who you say you are, and you're like, can I have money?

And you ask for the money

and she gives it.

Yeah.

And you don't ever follow through with like, we're going to meet up at this time.

Or a private plane.

No, nothing.

Yeah.

And if you don't ever, and if then if you just become disinterested and move on, is that illegal, though?

I feel like it's got to be.

I don't think, right?

I don't think it would be, though.

It's the lying that's saying you're somebody else.

But since you're actually who you say you are, you might have a leg to stand on.

I think it's like morally wrong.

If you wanted to stand on a leg.

This is the hills we're going to rely on.

Huh.

Interesting.

I think, yeah, like legally, it's fine.

It's just morally wrong.

Of course.

Yeah.

No one's questioning that.

like there has to be some kind of checklist that you, if you went down and followed it, it was like, Yeah, you're totally in the

absolutely legally, yeah.

There's certain things that you got to stay away from.

What do you

like?

You're fine with it.

Uh, I would definitely be like totally weirded out.

Like, it's in it's something that you know, really, like, whoa, I really don't know this person.

Yeah, this is really weird.

What else don't we know?

Like, what, what's why does he need that much money?

You know,

he must be.

He's kind of jet skipping.

A lot of red flags would be raised, and

it would be

hard to

not like.

After he got caught and it all came out.

But we still do the podcast.

I think so.

I think, because, like I said,

you have so much more to talk about now as you work your way through the legal system.

We find out if it was indeed illegal.

Yeah, it turns out you were wrong, Walt.

It's really entirely illegal.

For that hot lawyer, you got it.

I feel it's probably like telemarketing, where you're like, you're allowed to fudge a little, but there's certain things you just can't say.

Like, I watched that telemarketing

special that was on Netflix

that took place in New Jersey.

And like, there were certain things they could say and just certain things that they couldn't say.

Right, right, right.

But they ended up saying the things that they couldn't say, which is why they're if you haven't seen telemarketers, I think it's on Macs, right?

Was it on Mac?

I think it's on Macs.

Yeah, it's definitely worth watching.

It's amazing that they thought to get cameras out and record that stuff at that time because it's not like you just whipped your phone out and just record.

Like, I think they actually had cameras, right?

That has to record.

I think the one guy had a camcorder, yeah.

Yeah.

That has to significantly, significantly hurt the telemarketing game at this point now.

people seeing that especially the police union

like like you get that call who is still going to donate money to the police um union and

robotic phone call

what fool is still doing that that was the one thing that bothered me that they didn't really go into was the fact that they they had people who had worked for them before and recorded their voices and now through ai were duplicating them Oh wow.

And the guy's like, yeah, I know that guy, that voice.

He goes, that's a guy who died.

And they didn't go further into

like that.

That's like the stuff I was like, really would want to find out about.

There was one dude in it.

He's super aggro.

Like, he's a telemarketer guy.

He just got out of prison, the guy who just got out of prison.

And he's like trying to get this old lady to give over her information, trying to get her to do it, trying to get her to do it.

And it's like she's right on the cusp of giving her the information.

And she disconnects and is you fucking bitch.

It goes crazy.

He's really pissed.

Oh, shit, man.

Rough.

Yeah.

That was an unhappy dude.

That makes me so leery of anything.

There is a guy who, especially when you have someone

ring the doorbell, it's so unusual now to get somebody at your front door.

So somebody rang the doorbell during the Christmas break,

and

I'm downstairs.

I come downstairs, and Deb already answered the door, and he's like, yeah, I'm here with the gas company.

I want to make sure you're getting charged the right amount for your gas, yada, yada.

And I was just like, close the door.

I said,

close the door.

I said, this is not real.

I said, there's no way that they're fucking paying the gas companies, paying some guy to just randomly walk up and down the street.

I said,

I could be wrong.

They do, though.

I could be wrong.

I'm not saying, but I was just like, fuck it.

I said, look,

it makes no sense.

I said, the gas company's running around to see if they're overcharging you.

I said,

I don't think so.

That's how they leave.

It's not like they don't say undercharge.

They say overcharge because that's how they get you.

I said, close the door.

And she's like, well, I told him because she was going to go upstairs and get some.

I was like, no, just tell him that we don't have time.

We're leaving and have to come back.

So I go, but I'm taking care of her.

So finally, I come downstairs and I go, yeah, we're on our way out.

We don't have time for this.

Well, can I come back another time?

I was just like,

if you want, I said, but we probably won't be around.

I said,

I think you want to come back later in the day.

He never came back, though.

But

it makes you leery, though.

It very well could have been true.

Legit.

I had that with a bug spray guy.

Like a guy came to the door and he's like, yeah, we're offering 30% off because we're in in the neighborhood and blah, blah, blah.

And he starts talking about this bug spray he's going to spray.

And I'm like, No, my wife makes all those decisions.

So this way I can just get out of it and walk away.

And he's like, Well, when she's going to be back, yeah.

And I'm like, I don't know, dude.

Like, now you're too eager.

Yeah.

And you don't know if that spray is going to be harmful.

You don't know what the fuck they're spraying around.

Yeah, exactly.

Yeah.

Like, I would think he would just come out and be like, okay, this is what your meter reading says, or what we think it says.

This is what your meter says.

Yeah.

It was fishy.

The guy was young.

And I was looking at his vest and it didn't say NJ gas or anything.

It looks like something Giddim would wear.

I was just like, it's not worth it.

We watched the bug guy talk to your wife that one time on the Alexa

because

the alert came up that someone was at the front door.

But it was the same thing, like you said.

Oh, yeah, we just happen to be in the neighborhood.

We just want to offer to everybody else.

Yeah, they don't want to take no for an answer, though.

They're unhappy with no for an answer.

Yeah, this guy took no.

He left.

Like I said, it could have been legit, but I just find it weird that

a gas company just will send people out instead of just contacting them beforehand.

And they said, no, he's legit.

And then he went downstairs and found something wrong with one of my pipes and had to fix.

I don't know if he even asked to come in.

That was the weird thing.

I don't know.

That's how he started the conversation.

He's like, we're checking to make sure that you're getting charged correctly.

And I was like, hold on one second, call the gas company.

They're like, no, no, he's legit.

And then I let him down.

He found the problem.

He found like a leaky pipe that he fixed.

So you've been getting overcharged?

I think it was negligible, but

there was a problem that needed to be adjusting.

And it was a work.

The leaky pipes are different.

If he's like, Yeah, I'm here at the gas company, you have a lone pipeline.

I don't know.

When I went to go check the meter, he's like, I smell something in here.

Gotcha.

Oh, okay.

So it turned out good.

Turned out to be legit.

Yeah.

Maybe I was too harsh, too quick.

No, because I was like, too suspicious of my common name.

No, no.

I called, I verify.

Trust but verify, right?

Good, I like that.

Trust but verify.

Which means you really don't trust them.

You don't trust them.

Just verify.

Mistrust and verify.

Just verify everything, man.

You gotta.

Too many people, I watch all these murder porn shows, man.

So many people, even like to this day, are willing to let somebody in their house and use a phone.

It's weird.

It's like, what the fuck, man?

Yeah.

Yeah, in this day and age with cell phones.

So, when you were a kid, like, remember, like, walking out with your grandmother, like, far away from home, and like you knocked on someone's house to use their bathroom?

Because, like, as a kid, I don't think you ever did that.

He's pissing, freeze or whatever.

Oh, but Gidam's got, you know,

he's got more to deal with than just.

Just blowing up bathrooms across the neighborhood.

He'll kill your tree.

Well, if you don't let me in, you're going to have a fucking, what was that thing called?

An angel fucking circle in your backyard?

Every circle, too.

Every circle.

Let me tell you, he's a fucking potent.

You'll meet the entity.

The doggy toilets is going to be meeting, Anthony, for a week.

Getting if it was, if it was discovered that your feces enriched the mushrooms, would you sell it?

Oh, yeah.

Oh, yeah.

Oh, yeah.

Would you be able to eat a mushroom that was growing organic?

If it was like guaranteed to be the best fucking trip ever, the purest, most beautiful, you're going to meet that entity.

Oh, I'm going to meet the entity.

Every mushroom that you've eaten.

He just looks like him

with the four eyes.

hate my shit huh gold teeth in a cap

how you stanking just that goes over and over and over and over and over

worst trip ever

four eyes gold teeth in a lot of position just going how you stank

those fucking mushrooms

so waving so you would go around the strangers in the neighborhood and knock on a door and want to use their bathrooms?

No,

I remember once I was with my grandmother, we went for like a long walk, and on the way back, like, I really had to go.

Sure would hate to get molested.

Sure, would suck if somebody were to molest me while I'm in this stranger's house using her bathroom.

Pants and death.

Well, like, did you never hear the fucking warnings of like, don't go into a stranger's house?

No, I was with my grandmother.

And what?

I was with my grandmother.

We were on a walk.

And on the way to.

$10 for the boy.

On the way back to her house, like, I really had to go to the bathroom.

Okay.

So she knocked on somebody's door and let me in to use the bathroom.

Oh, Peter, you got to use the bathroom.

Like, was it number one?

No, no, it was number two.

Oh, okay.

Yeah.

So, like, yeah.

I still think I would, I would, hell, I'd be like, no.

I'd be like, no.

This is how you're getting in the house with this kid.

This fucking idiot kid radio.

How old?

This is the 80s.

So how old are you?

Four or five.

Okay.

So my grandmother's, I don't know, 60s.

And there's no gas station.

There's no publication.

No, no, it was.

No.

It was, it was, we went to a park and like it's a residential area.

There's like no gas station whatsoever.

And I got my mom.

I really have to go.

I really have to go, Nan.

And she's, she just knocks on me.

Were you overreacting or could you?

No, I really

had to go.

Yeah.

That would be a rough thing to let the neighborhood kid in your house and then he blows up your, like, he just stinks out the bag.

Well, he's not even the neighborhood kid.

You don't even know who he is.

Yeah.

Really?

But

let's say an elderly woman tomorrow brings your doorbell and she's got a four or five-year-old boy with her.

And she's like, My grandson really needs to use the bathroom.

I would be like, why?

You were walking by this house?

What do you do?

I mean, I guess, honestly, I feel like I probably would.

I feel like I probably would let her in.

Because it's okay.

Because it's an old lady.

Okay, let's change it.

It's not an old lady.

It's an old man.

Still in their 70s.

Right.

Yeah.

Is Is this a jackass movie?

This is one of those situations where I'm like, can I take this person if it goes south?

All right.

So if I assume I could take this person.

Let's say it's like

Jack Lelaine.

No, no.

It's that 93-year-old guy we saw.

It's a very frail, older gentleman.

You know,

he barely weighs 100 pounds.

Right.

Yes.

Yeah, I'd love him.

Okay, now, but let's say change the scenario again.

Now, the grandson is 18, though.

No.

No way.

Go piss somewhere in eye contact with my door.

15?

What's that?

15?

No, he would have to be little.

I think the top age would be like 10.

Otherwise, I'll be like, there's a fucking gas station.

There's a Wawa five minutes from here.

I'm going to flip it.

The 18-year-old says, can my grandfather?

use the bathroom.

That's tough then.

Yeah.

Only if you stay outside, I would say.

Because there, but for the grace of God, are you in like 20 years?

Oh, wandering around asking to use people's bathrooms.

No, Mary Beth is wandering around with you.

That's a tough one, no.

I would just be like, I'm sorry my husband isn't dressed.

And then let that sit there.

He's right around the corner over there.

Yeah, so you say you have a husband?

Yeah.

And that really is a distance.

And he's not dressed.

Yeah, that tells people for a loop.

They're like, go to this house.

Wait, what?

Because a naked man

in that house married to another man.

I think I'll find the next bathroom.

Yeah.

Play on their fucking homophobia, you know?

Just because you're older,

I'm a good person.

I'm all right.

Just because they're older, homophobic.

Yeah.

I think that was the source of my depression as I was thinking about being older.

I'm like, like being so much older than Mary Beth Ensage,

and like eventually how much of their life I will miss out on because

I ain't young.

Yeah, it's understandable to think that way, but then like you know, the catch-22 is then

you're wasting valuable time.

Just waiting for it to happen.

Yeah, like

being bummed out about it, doing nothing instead when you could be like, put it out of your head, let's go do something fun with Mary Beth and Sage.

Right, yeah.

Right.

I tried that the other day.

I challenged Sage to an Uno game, and she's like, ah.

And I was like, God damn it, I need this.

I need this.

You got to know that Uno is probably not

one of the things that she cares about anymore.

Put your Xbox down and let's play some Uno.

I was at my aunt's for Christmas, and my one cousin's son is just obsessed with YouTube.

Like, he was just sitting there all day long, like on his back on the floor watching YouTube videos.

And she offered him a cookie.

He's like, no.

Somebody said, well, what if there was a YouTube video about watching cookies?

Would it be interested in cookies then?

What did he say?

He was out.

He was downstairs.

We were just joking with his mom.

I see.

Got it.

Well, let me answer this because I had a conversation with

a guy in the villages.

If life was a baseball game, what inning are you in?

Fucking bottom of the ninth.

No,

not bottom of the ninth is not true.

Bottom of the ninth is guys who are on your deathbeds.

Yeah, like that's like, I would say like hospice care and shit.

Yeah, get over 75.

I think it's like.

Two outs, two two strikes.

Can't get out of bed.

That's bottom of the ninth.

And Nolan Ryan's on the mound.

He's got an 0-2 count on you.

So halfway through,

maybe like

maybe fifth inning, sixth inning?

That says a lot.

That is a half

glass full.

It's unusual for me.

Yeah, that says a lot, though.

That's good that you think it's...

It sounds accurate.

It's more than halfway.

Right, but I would have thought he would have said something a little bit more closer to seven.

Reality.

Pollyanna over here thinks it's the third inning

of a doubleheader.

I like to think.

Look at him.

He thinks it's going to work out.

He still thinks

out

Reggie Jackson in World Series 1977.

Every time he gets out the plate, he's going to hit a home run.

I'm pointing to the stands.

What do you think, Q?

I was saying same thing, fifth.

I was thinking like

fifth inning.

So you have

four more innings.

Well, I'm 47.

I think it's reasonable that I'll get to

I'm not disagreeing with you.

Yeah.

I would have thought, though,

you could say

you could realistically say four.

Four.

Because I'm 40.

You think 10 years?

Is that like a

10 years an inning?

Just

your vibe.

What's that called?

Your aura.

Can I say quad?

Your aura.

Yeah.

That I see.

I'll take fourth.

Yeah, I could see you saying fourth and getting away with it.

Okay.

I'm going to say that then.

I'm going to go with fourth.

Might as well.

What do you think about for yourself?

For myself?

What did Brian say?

Fifth.

I say like fifth or sixth.

Fifth.

Realistically, I would have to say the sixth.

Sixth inning.

Yeah.

If I was being honest with myself.

Looking forward to that seventh inning stretch.

Yeah.

Ooh.

Yeah.

What does that mean, though?

What does that mean for me, my seventh inning stretch?

It's ease.

It's taking a little easier.

Yeah.

You slow down.

Let the ground crew come out.

Do their thing.

Let them water the fucking

lawn.

Let them fucking maintain the field.

Yeah.

I saw this article in the post.

AI death calculator predicts when you'll die, and it's extremely accurate.

Oh, God.

Can you believe this shit?

I can.

We're living in Black Mirror, man.

Well, like,

how do they test it?

Do they put people who've already died into it?

It's slightly different than Chat

GPT.

This model can, it's just a model that can predict almost anything.

I'm not sure.

We predicted death because it's something people have worked on for many years, so we had a good sense of what was possible.

So I just, they must just plug in all this information.

All the factors and just as you can see.

I mean, I don't even know.

Maybe they use your DNA or they use your

family history or something.

I use a lot of race.

Yeah.

You know, there's a lot of factors that go into

something

as junk science.

It says here,

they examined a heterogeneous subject population of 6 million Danish people who varied in sex and age between 2008 and 2020.

And they used this model to discover which of the subjects would likely live for at least four years beyond January of 2016.

Wow.

How we all think we're so fucking special, but

it's just a bunch of numbers

you can plug in and nobody will fucking care after you die.

Sad.

Fucking hey, man.

Yeah, so this guy was talking to him in the villages.

Like he was

late 60s and he was trying to start some toy restoration business.

Doesn't really matter.

Really?

Yeah.

Toy restoration.

Toy and animatronic figure restoration.

It was fascinating.

Like he would find old

and neon lights.

Like he would find all these old lights and like

store like store light, like window display lights and he was showing me like he's like yeah he goes I find pictures of what the figure looked like in the 40s or 50s and and I repair them and best and he showed me he makes fiberglass feet for him and it was fascinating stuff and he's like and I always wanted he goes like I always want I forget what he did for a living but he's like I always wanted to make this what I did in life he goes I always dreamed of working with Disney or something like that he goes and he goes now he goes like I'm at the bottom of the eighth he's like he's like I'm running out of time to really like do anything with this so I'm trying to like make my retirement be about that.

And I was like, Wow, what does that feel like to be like, I'm at the bottom of the eighth?

My dream hasn't come true yet.

Well,

it was a sobering thing, yeah, it was a real sobering thing.

I was like,

I can't imagine that a lot of your dreams have come true, though.

Yeah, most of them actually.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

So, you coast?

Oh, I wasn't bitching at all.

I was

making fun of your failures.

That's what I'm doing.

No, there's shit I I want to do.

And I'm like, yeah, like there's

stuff I want to, that I just haven't really done.

But I'm in the fourth.

You're only in the fourth.

I'm in the fourth.

You got so much.

Was he doing this to survive or was he doing this as a hobby?

So he's totally set otherwise and he's just doing this.

Yeah, for living retirement.

He's fine.

That'd be kind of cool.

It's like those guys who make wood shops to retire.

I don't even know.

I couldn't really suss out what his ultimate goal to be success, what the measure of success would be for a guy like that.

But he certainly hadn't hit it yet.

And it seemed like he wished he had done it his entire life.

Maybe like start a studio where he gets people, younger people in, teaches them the craft, and they all start repairing the rest of the restaurant.

Has he made any money off the toy restoration yet?

He has.

Yeah.

He has.

I've seen YouTube videos where they do toy restoration.

They'll take like the oldest, shittiest metal truck from like 1930 and turn it around so it looks like it just came out of a factory.

It's not not so fucking well done.

But his was a little more detailed.

It was more like window moving window displays and old Christmas displays and stuff like that.

But I would think in a toy restoration game,

it's about combining, like if you have a broken leg of an, let's say

if it's a toy figure, you have a broken leg, you need to acquire another toy of that same toy that doesn't have a broken leg, but maybe has a broken arm, and that's how you start to switch the parts.

Yeah, there's probably not.

It seemed like he was more manufacturing and restoring.

So maybe people who aren't they don't really care about the authenticity, they care about the

remember the remember the bionic Bigfoot Bri that had the chest plate that popped out?

Let's say I have a bionic Bigfoot

and would have the chest plate.

I could bring it to your

retirement community and he would create

a new chest plate.

Yeah, yes, he did stuff like that.

I think he was more focused on bigger animatronics, but yes, he did that.

He showed me pictures of that as well.

Because I told him about that robot that

aunt is patching up for me.

I brought that up, and he was like, yeah, he can do stuff like that pretty easily.

But

like Adam Savage does that kind of stuff.

He did a whole video where he bought an old Swiss Army display sign where the knife opened and everything.

And all it was missing was two gears.

And so he went in and built the gears all anew and put it together.

Which is cool.

And now it sits in the back of his studio all the time working.

I think that's cool.

I tell you what I'd like to do

before he has the toy restoration.

I would like to get into bookbinding.

Get out of here.

Really?

You want to be a bookbinder?

I want to be a bind comic books

and bookbinding.

I would love to do it.

So do you want to do this to save money on binding your own books?

Yeah.

But I like to do I would like the aspect of designing other people's dust jackets and

the format of the book and everything and the design of the book.

And I've been I've tried to motivate him to get into it too.

And he just like, we even looked up

the equipment you would need, the bookbinding equipment.

Wow.

Yeah.

It's 20 grand investment to start out with.

But who are your customers?

Is it just comic books and

volumes?

There are volumes.

You could do magazines.

You could do, like, if you're into like.

So it's archival stuff.

Yeah.

Like, let's say you collect

Time Life magazine and you want to get volumes.

Right.

So people who buy books can put your time lifes into a hardcover volume.

Playboy, if you want to be a real man, yeah, they don't want the reprints, they don't want the reprints, they want it on that authentic paper

still, yeah.

So, and it's we've seen people like they bind

how big is the machine

you need to like bigger than this table?

It's pretty no, I don't think it's bigger than this table, it could fit in this room, though.

But you need like a special guillotine cutter that

presses everything down and then cuts it.

This massive blade comes down under like tons of pressure.

Get him loses an arm.

But I try to motivate him to

like, you know, fulfill my dream, make my dreams come true.

He's just not, he's not interested.

I was like, you could do this, I tell him, like, you could do this for me.

And you can make a lot of money doing this.

But he could.

The thing is, I've dealt with him before.

That's kind of why I don't want to do it.

Because we do it with these companies, and there's just something always just slightly wrong that's got to be fixed again.

Yeah, but you'd be the company, you'd be the one.

Yeah, so I'd have to constantly be like, especially because I'm this close.

Like, he gets a little like he's hesitant sometimes.

Like, well, this six isn't in exactly the right spot where I want it to be, but I don't want to ask them right now.

So, I'm going to do another order, and then I'll ask him then.

And it's like, if I was right here right now, I'd be like, yeah, I think he could, I think it would be a lucrative business, and

he would have money coming in constantly.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Like, you know, you could pimp it on.

You've got ants who collect.

Yeah.

You know,

I could put it on.

I could use it on a ton of magazines.

YouTube videos of like a former comic book man starts his own comic book binding company.

Yeah.

Like, I got like clout right there.

Yeah, I know Cullen Bunn, he's big into that too.

He collects them into the volumes.

Right.

Yeah, I think it would be a lucrative business venture, but I need his know-how.

I need his, I can't measure.

I have, I have kind of like boss, can't you just tell him to do do this stuff?

But I can't, like, I can't force him.

I can't force him to find books, though.

It works for you eight hours a day, five days a week.

He's got to do it and he tells him to find some fucking books.

Why is that not

give him a raise?

He's good at the measurements and stuff because I'm not good at measuring.

Yeah.

I feel like I can measure something 10 times and give you 10 different measurements.

Yeah, not precisely.

It's 10 inches.

Okay, now it's one inch.

That's a big difference.

I run into that problem myself.

It was cold, okay?

No, to measure things, he'll bring me in a ruler with lines marked on the ruler.

I would like to do it, though.

I think it would be a fun venture, but

I think that these, like the places I'm getting it done at, like, it takes them months to have so much business.

Wow.

Well, they're also binding like textbooks.

Yeah.

We could do that too.

Yeah, why couldn't you?

Yeah, you could step outside comics.

I think, you know,

we need a bigger maybe unit.

We get so big, we got to buy something downstairs in the airport plaza.

Okay.

You know, come up with a snappy name.

I'd like to do it, though.

It'd be fun.

Until it's not fun anymore.

Until everything I have, everything I got, that's bound.

You pay 20 grand for it.

Now you got other people that are like, this six isn't where it should be.

Oh, yeah.

Fuck this guy.

That's everything's going to be perfect.

Why's he bothering me with this now?

Oh, it's funny.

It's not the right shade of orange.

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Oh,

really?

The The only other thing I wanted to talk about was like, you guys got to promise because there was a time when I smelled like piss, or at least you thought that I smelled like piss

and didn't tell me.

Yes.

So now you got to tell me if you start to smell like

he smells like a dog.

I need to know this because I constantly smell the dog because he's always jumping in the bed and rolling around in the covers and all that kind of shit.

Okay.

So if I start, if you're like, oh, I smell dog and like there's no dog around, it might be me.

So you got to tell me.

All right.

I haven't noticed.

I never noticed that you smelled like piss.

When did that happen?

Oh, that was, yeah, we had a

discussion about it.

Yeah, it was years ago.

I had this leather bag that had been trapped in the background.

Oh, yes.

Now I recall it.

Right, right, right.

That bag did smell.

But you were aware of the smell of the bag.

I was aware of the smell of the bag.

I wasn't aware everybody thought the bag was me.

Did you see Godzilla?

Not yet, no.

You didn't go.

So, Bri, you saw it, though, right?

So

I don't think you're going to see it, Quick.

I want to see it.

Is it in theaters still?

I don't think it's even in theaters anymore.

I mean, I'm going to see it eventually, but I, you know.

They said they're not going to stream it.

Why?

I don't know.

I read that.

Yeah.

I don't know why they wouldn't.

The company that made it said they have no plans to stream it right now.

But like, I don't know why.

But, like, stores like Best Buy are

getting rid of all their physical media, so how are you going to release it?

Oh, Amazon still will kind of.

Cable?

That's streaming, technically.

Is it?

Cable is streaming?

Yeah, it's going on.

So I should go see it.

Is it still in theaters?

I don't even know if it's still in theaters.

It's is still in theaters, I think I definitely feel it's worth a watch.

I went by myself.

I just went there and checked it out.

And I loved it.

I was really surprised at how much I liked it.

It's dark.

It's very solid.

Very bleak.

Oh, my God.

Like, there's no sunshine.

It felt like there's just like it's nothing but

weird and

very strange.

Oh, it's still playing

Island.

Is it?

Yeah, I'll go check it out.

And fucking looked great, and the score was great.

Like the

I am going to go tomorrow morning.

Okay.

Hold off then.

Like I said, there's

the angle,

the suicide angle is so bizarre in the whole film.

It's not so crazy.

It's so nuts.

Throughout the entire thing.

Entire movie.

I'll just say this, Q, there's this one scene.

It's so disturbing as that

the guy who is desperately wants to.

I mean yeah, it's basically suicide do a kamikaze mission

to fulfill his obligations that he didn't fulfill during the war

is on the ground,

right?

Yeah, but he's on the ground.

I guess he's tied up at one like when you remember he was tied up by the mechanic?

Yeah, yeah, and he's on the ground screaming up at the guy like the camera angle as he tells him his plan that like he like he desperately wants to end his life

by flying a plane into Godzilla's mouth

and it's done so much that you're like this is so fucked up yeah this is I never dreamed that this is like the

the concept that they would like kind of like base a plot line around a Godzilla movie

and the other guy's like like the horror when he realizes that's his plan but he's like

We're going to need you to do it, though, when he realizes there's no other way.

Like, okay,

This guy's without honor.

Yeah.

And this is how he's going to get his honor back.

Well, yeah, it's a guy definitely dealing with post-traumatic syndrome from the war.

Other people think he's without honor, or is it all in his head?

Oh, yeah.

Oh, yeah.

Oh, yeah.

Oh, yeah.

Everybody in his life is kind of like the elephant in the room.

It's like that.

You're a coward.

Wow.

All right.

I got to go see it.

If I'm the guy, I'm just like, why don't you kill yourself then?

Yeah.

So fucked up.

You really make me feel like a dick about it.

Like, when you really analyze the movie, it's so fucked up.

Yeah.

Like, you know,

he didn't want to go on his mission.

Yeah.

He pretends that his plane is malfunctioning, which.

Oh, he pussed it out?

Yeah, he pusses out.

How did they find out his plane didn't malfunction, though?

Because he lands and they look, there's nothing wrong with him.

The engineer is like, Roshi, you fucked up, bro.

He's like the top engineer in the fucking Air Force or whatever.

So like he knew everything about this plane.

Oh, what a piece of shit.

Then they go back to the camera.

Which, by the way, would be me.

I'm like, you want me to crash this into what?

At least in the United States, you only put us in camps for a few months.

And they go back.

He goes back home after the war, and it's,

I don't know how they did it.

How did they like that looks all like practical effects of that fucking destroyed city?

It really looks amazing.

Right?

I mean, it really, like, they're living in huts and stuff after post-war.

I'm sorry after they fucked with the United States of America.

Yes.

That's when they're living in huts again.

All right.

That's what fucking happened.

Everybody else out there can take a good lesson from that.

USA.

USA.

USA.

USA.

USA.

Yeah.

But they and they build this

great impending doom of like as like as the country and this guy tries to get back on track.

Yeah.

You know what's coming.

God's.

You know why you're watching the movie.

You know that at at some point.

Yeah, you thought it was bad before.

Yeah.

You're going to fucking love that Chris Hunt when this motherfucker moves through town.

Yeah.

It's pretty fucking wild.

And there's some cool additions to Godzilla as the character.

Yeah.

Like, yeah, like things he can do.

Yeah, and there's definitely a Jaws homage, right?

Oh, definitely.

Yeah.

Yeah, for sure.

Jaws homage in it.

And like I said, man,

the American makers of Godzilla,

they probably were sitting there going,

I can't believe this movie is getting so critically acclaimed.

I'm like, there's no little fucking King Kong's.

There's no.

There's the little girl.

There's a little girl who's the lead for some reason

and knows everything.

Like, they have to be going like

second-guessing what they're going to be putting out.

Could we have misjudged what the other public wants?

We were wrong.

Let's call those people.

Let's call Lucas from.

Let's ask that.

Let's kind of And that's what the public wants.

Oh, yo, I just got the phone, Lucas.

We're good.

We got nothing to worry about.

Stay the course.

Actolite's going to do fucking bonzo business.

Break all the records.

I don't even know what that is, but I'm not looking forward to it.

Oh, that's funny.

That is funny.

Yeah, it was good.

It's definitely worth going.

I'll go.

It's still playing, though.

I'm surprised.

It is.

I just re-looked again.

It's in Manhattan, but I'm going to Manhattan this weekend.

That is shocking that it's still making enough money to be in theaters, which is a good sign because it's a you know, you got a lot of subtitles, Q.

Almost all subtitled, yeah.

Everything I watch on my TV now, I put on subtitles anyway, so I'm kind of used to it.

Oh, okay.

Yeah, I like to do that too because a lot of things like the mumbles and stuff.

Yeah.

Like if there's a dialogue that isn't spoken completely clear, it's nice to have the subtitle.

Yeah, and I found a new line in I watched Last Crusade the other day, and I heard it was a line I never heard before.

It really made me laugh.

But you know that scene where

the Nazis are like, give us the journal, whatever.

And he gave it to Marcus Brody.

And he's like, you'll never catch Marcus Brody.

He's got a five-day head start.

He knows every language in the land.

And then it cuts to Marcus looking like a lost old woman in the middle of the fair.

Anyway, it's so quiet, the line.

I never heard it.

But somebody offers him water and he goes, goes, no, no, fish have sex in that.

How the fuck did I get that law?

That is so fucking funny.

So he never drinks water?

Like, what's going on with this guy?

Well, not from another country.

Yeah, it was really funny.

That's why I didn't drink water for fucking half my life.

Fish season.

I left fish kids.

Oh, he fucking made me laugh.

But yeah,

that's where I'm at.

Okay, this weekend you're going to see it.

I'm going to see it this weekend.

Yeah.

Enough people have told me that I got to see it at this point.

I'm going to Detroit this weekend.

Oh, that's right.

That's your big weekend.

Going to see the Detroit Lions in their final home game of the regular season.

Whoa.

Yeah, I've always wanted to go.

Where are you going?

Frank and his wife and my wife are going to go.

Nice.

He's going to drive.

I'm hearing snow, of course.

For this weekend?

Yeah, I'm hearing snow.

Nor'easter.

Yeah, I'm hearing snow, which is going to fucking make the trip so much more fucking stressful

because we're driving.

But watching the game in the snow would probably be fun.

It's indoors.

Oh, it's a stadium.

I mean, it's a dome, yeah.

So it doesn't matter.

It's going to be bomby 70 degrees, no matter what it's like outside.

But it's just getting there is going to be a fucking pitch in the snow.

It's going to suck.

I think if anybody knows how to drive in snow, it's Frank.

How far of a drive is Detroit?

Did you map it out?

Yeah, it's from,

I think it's like seven and a half hours.

Seven and a half hours.

It's not too bad.

It's not that bad.

It's not as bad as us going to Florida.

I don't remember.

How long is it to Florida?

I think it's like almost

like it took us like a day and and a half.

Yeah.

Yeah.

But yeah, it should be interesting.

I've never been to an NFL game.

No?

No.

Oh, wow.

Yeah, I almost went last year, but then I got sick

and I didn't make it up to the jet game

that Rupp had got me tickets to.

So it'll be interesting.

Should be a celebratory atmosphere, though.

Because the game doesn't mean anything.

Oh, really?

They've already locked up their playoff position, so it's kind of just like shits and giggles.

Yeah.

So the crowd should be extremely

boisterous.

Just happy, you know, just should be in a great mood.

And I told Frank, I was like, I have two shirts.

I said that I think

like a hoodie and something for Mary to wear.

I say, I think it's a good idea that we just blend in as locals.

And he checks it back.

Like two seconds later, he goes, You don't think there will be a riot at this game, do you?

I was like, no, not at all.

But there's no, I don't, there's no, I don't think there's any harm in just blending in as a as a local.

I said, I don't know why.

why, I said, but I did not mean to imply that there would be a riot at this game if we didn't play.

Who are they playing?

Minnesota Vikings.

Right.

So you just, you don't wear a Viking.

You don't wear purple.

Right.

Yeah.

You don't want to bring attention,

unwarranted or

just any attention to yourself for any reason.

You just want to blend into the Honolulu blue

and just get back into your car and make your way back home with no incidents.

Yeah.

But if there was a riot, would you participate to blend in?

Like if I saw a whole bunch of Lions fans

started

burning down

the city

I might throw a Molotov cocktail or two just to make sure I get out of there alive.

Mary throws a hunk of concrete at a cop.

Take this pig.

Go Lions!

She can barely live.

It just goes like an inch.

He's on the floor on the floor.

Fuck the place.

She just drops it on his head for a moment.

She's on top of a cop car.

This is for George Floyd.

Like, Mary, what's your message here?

What's going on?

But you blend it in.

Tell him Steve Davis.

It's fucking good.