#577: Human Code H

November 12, 2023 1h 32m

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Q’s webcam fetish, Robert the Doll part 2, Q faces a moral quandary, problems at Disney, TESD award categories.

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When I go over and we turn on the cams, it is pretty fast.

You guys are stoned

not all the time.

I haven't smelled any feces.

Up skirt?

No.

Totten blouse?

No.

Side boob?

No.

Tell them, Steve, Dave.

Hello, and welcome to this week's edition of Tell'em Steve Dave.

What's up, Walt?

And what's up, Q?

Hello.

Back in the house.

Back in the saddle.

Here I am.

A little worse for the wear.

You're still coughing.

You're still a little bit.

You're still under it still.

But mood is, you know, middle of the road, so I'm good to go.

Yeah, no, good to go.

Not sick anymore.

Definitely not contagious, or else I wouldn't be here.

I just have that phlegm.

You know, that phlegm that doesn't go away.

Yeah.

Sticks to your lungs.

You could hang tile with that shit.

Yes.

Yeah.

I know.

You're 100% right.

I know exactly what you mean.

It's so spackly.

Yeah, I'm not, I haven't, you know, knock wood.

I have not run into this particular cold yet.

I think Mary Beth had it.

Walt had it.

Now you got it.

It's going round.

It was unpleasant for Mary Beth.

I don't know if it's the same way for everybody, where it's like, it takes like a week to get rid of it.

Yeah, it's like three bad days.

And then it's just been a real lack of

ability to get energy going,

which kind of sucks.

It didn't help

that I was just coming off having to watch you traipse around Key West on webcams like I was a stalker following you from bar to bar just to pretend that I was there with you.

It was a more, you know, it was a blow to my

what's it called?

Morale.

Yeah, you were particularly demoralized about about this Key West trip.

I was so looking forward to it.

And then when Jiggy dropped out,

a part of me, I would rather have Jiggy there, but then I was like, oh, we're going old school on this.

This is going to be fun.

And then, of course,

that wasn't even this.

That was something else.

That was a different sickness.

But I was home watching him on the webcams.

I was texting him, like, what bar are you going into?

And I know which bars down there have webcams.

So I was watching them.

Yeah, I could see of it like he sent me a picture of myself on the webcam.

And it was off the spot.

What do you got?

Is it concerning that Q knows the webcam addresses of all the bars in Key West?

No.

Not anymore.

At one time.

I have this service that collects webcams from around the world and I'll put them on my TV.

This is something that Giddam would do.

This is like if Giddam told me this, this would be three hours of like berating.

I'm open to the berating.

You guys can berate all you want.

I don't care.

You're watching other people enjoy themselves.

You're sitting in the office watching movies.

And the thing with Q2 is like the thing that's doubly shitty is that he's like, I'm supposed to be there.

Yeah.

I'm supposed to be on that camera, not watching that camera.

And I, you know, I got a lot of friends in that town after going for so many years.

I saw them on the camera.

I was really like, it was that Sharon Stone movie where she was getting watched.

Sliver.

Yeah.

It was like that fucking pervert sliver just watching everybody having fun.

Sucked.

And then just as I start getting getting out of that, I get hit with this.

Fuck Joe DeRosa coughed in my mouth or whatever the fuck he did.

He's the type of guy who'll cough in your mouth.

No, he's not.

He's not.

But I do blame him specifically for getting me sick.

But he knows it.

Yeah.

Yeah, he knows it.

He can live with it.

He's fine with it.

Yeah, I was.

Q was watching the cameras one day.

Mary Beth joined several contests at a bar called Sloppy Joe's.

One was like a costume contest, and then the the next one was

there was a tutu contest, and then on the third night there was a contest.

It's called Slumber Party.

You're supposed to go in your

pajamas, whatever, dress however you want.

So Mary Beth decides to get dressed up in, it's like a negligee with like a old school like 60s like furry collar on the robe, the slippers with the fur on them, all that stuff.

And just as she's signing up i see somebody behind her

and i immediately texted q

we were texting the attack yeah i immediately texted him i'm like it's done it's over it's over she lost yeah because the kid the person signing up behind her is a 20 year old guy dressed as baby shark

but this particular baby shark ironically has down syndrome And I'm like, there's no fucking way that kid's getting up on that stage.

That's winning.

There's just no way it's going to happen.

There's a kid in the bar.

Well, he's like 20.

He must have been 21.

Yeah.

When I say kid, I'm not talking about like eight.

Yeah.

Okay, and what's kid compared to me?

Baby shark.

You never heard of baby shark?

Baby shark shark.

Baby shark.

That song that like are you guys enraged enraged the world for how long was it?

Oh, a while.

Yeah.

What year would this have been?

Recently, like past five years.

Within the past, yeah.

Yeah.

I have no recollection of this.

It was a kid's thing, right?

Yeah, it was was a kids' thing that like drove adults crazy.

Maybe my kids were too

cold.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

But like, if you were like going through the mall or something, there'd be,

you know, parents would give their kids phones and tablets just to occupy them.

And how did you hear it?

Because you're not in any malls.

I mean, you never, you only, you're only in two places, the cellar or here.

So where are you walking?

Actually,

I heard it at, I was at Mammoth Mall.

I'm forgetting

the mall.

I forget exactly why I was there.

I'm at him.

When's the last time you were at Mahmoud's Mall?

That's funny.

Was that the last time you were at Mahomath's Mall?

Probably, yeah.

Yeah.

There's a very famous comedy club called the Comedy Cellar, and like all comedians just call it the seller.

I'm always around those types.

So when you said it, I was like, when the fuck is getting him?

It took like a half a second to be like, oh, he means a depressing spider.

Yeah, like

a spider's crawling on you when you're sleeping.

Am I right, people?

A cellar.

Yeah.

No comedy going on at all.

Nothing to enjoy.

Nothing funny about it.

Not listening to

new material or anything.

So let's go back to your this baby shark.

is the 21-year-old

legitimately have

Downs or is the costume he's wearing a downsized

syndrome?

It's not like they have

to see that costume.

It's like medium-large Down syndrome.

I don't think it works that way.

So yeah, you're not

guy.

Okay.

I would say he's in his early 20s, at least 21.

I'm sure they were checking IDs.

But I snapped a picture of him for Q.

I'm like, look, the guy's texting.

He's functional.

It's not like Sage, where like Sage can't spell, so she can't text and shit.

But this kid.

He had no place in that conference.

No way.

He knew what he was doing.

What was the prize?

The prize was

a $500 gift certificate for Sloppy Joe's, and second place was $250, third place was $100.

So you're saying that because he was

Down syndrome,

somebody down syndrome.

He's walking

into the grand prize circle.

He's at least placing, is my feeling.

Because there were probably.

There was an audience clapping.

So what audience.

And he kept saying he had like the

applauseometer.

I didn't see it once.

I didn't see no applauseometer.

It's kind of like when someone dies and they're nominated nominated for an Oscar, you kind of know they're pretty much guaranteed to win.

Yeah, look, I love Sloppy Joe's.

I'm a fan of the place.

Who was watching Sage while you guys are down here?

Her mother.

He should have thrown her into a fucking shark concert

on the stage.

She could have won 500 bucks.

Three more years.

Yeah, I guess.

Did he win?

He did win, but he didn't come in first.

He came in second.

So, yeah,

you painted the brush of the establishment as like they were going to.

Well, the winners.

The winners were an incredibly diverse group of people, let me tell you.

It was men dressed in

women's negligence, like the Austin Powers femmbots.

Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Okay.

So, you know, the comedy of that situation.

People enjoyed the femmbots.

Yeah,

but they didn't do anything.

They went up there and there was like five of them.

But they went up there and it was like the spectacle of men dressed like women still plays in Key West.

Do you think that maybe you're constantly looking for that, though?

You're looking for, instead of just enjoying the night out, you're just like, you're looking to find.

Oh, I had a fine time.

I never, I didn't think she was going to win to begin with.

His temperature

never spiked.

He was having a blast.

Yeah, it was fun.

Yeah.

At no point was like, this is fucking bullshit.

This wasn't fantasies where she was competing against actual strippers

in a wet t-shirt contest, you know, an amateur

contest.

But like her, I was surprised that she didn't place with, she got body painted.

She did Mermaid Man from Spongebob.

You know, he wears those pink slippers, too.

And so there's, and there's kids here.

There's kids.

Not in the bar at night, no.

Okay, but you saw.

But walking around, there were

more children than I thought there was going to be attending this.

I don't know how many you saw on the cameras, but there was like

families with kids.

Yeah, during the day, for sure.

They know to

clear out because things are going to get a lot wilder.

Well, it's like it's really very similar to Mardi Gras.

So, you know, you don't really, you're going to see kids there, but you're always like, I don't know, that the kids should be here.

Type thing.

Yeah, like there, there were people that had like babies, which I get because they're so little, they're not taking anything in.

But there were people that had like, I would say, kids that were upwards, like 10, 12, 14, like, you know, in that age range.

You know.

That's suspect.

Yeah.

What do you mean?

You bring your 12-year-olds to something like that.

I wonder.

It's like, you know.

Oh, I see.

Like at night walking around and stuff.

Yeah, you can't

bring them somewhere that it has to be there.

I thought the same thing, and I was like, did they stumble on it?

And they're like, oh, my God.

Because sometimes, you know, you'll go to a hotel and they're having a convention there, and you're like, oh, I didn't realize it was going to be a Beatles convention or a Perv convention or whatever kind of convention it is.

But

at the hotel where you're at?

What's that?

At the hotel you're staying at, this was going on?

No, this is Sloppy Joe's.

No, this is at Sloppy Joe's.

But I'm saying, but if you go to a hotel sometimes, or a cruise, you know, you walk in, you're like, oh, I didn't know it was going to be a cruise with, you know, this, you know, the gold girls, furries, whatever.

Or sometimes that's something normal.

You're just unaware that something else is going on.

So that's what I thought.

Like, maybe they came to Key West.

They're like, hey, we want to go to Key West.

Seems like there's some Halloween stuff going on, not realizing, like, oh, this is more, like you say, this is more adult-oriented than

your average street fair.

Yeah, exactly.

It's not exactly

what's that one in San Francisco?

The Castro Street.

Oh, I do.

I don't know.

You know, that's like wild.

That's like people in leather getting their asses spanked totally naked and stuff like that.

Yeah, pretty nuts.

Yeah, it's crazy.

Pretty wacky.

But so, yeah, Baby Shark took second place, and then third place was just this black couple from Maryland that I can't remember

what their thing was.

Oh, sexy unicorns.

I thought the fembots just should not have won.

Well, first, it's like there's like 20 of them.

I can't stand these group costumes.

It's like if there's a group costume, maximum of three people.

Like your rules.

Maximum.

Your rules for like other people.

Because otherwise they got to herd everybody onto the fucking stage.

It fucking takes forever.

And they got to split, what, a paltry $200 gift certificate?

Well, they won the $500 one.

I would say there was a good seven or eight people up there.

So, probably what they're going to do is they're going to be like, let's all go to Sloppy Joe's for lunch tomorrow.

Let's just throw it on the bar and we'll all eat and drink and

have some fun.

I can't get out of my head that you think it's weird about the webcams.

I want to change your mind, though.

I want you to change it out.

Anybody, you know, if he told you that, like, hey, you know what my new thing is?

I disagree.

I listen to the scanner, but I'm watching these bar webcams.

Yeah.

You know, you would be like, dude, you've got to get out of this office.

The bar.

You've got to get out and live.

Well, look, taken as part of a larger picture?

Yeah, maybe.

You know, maybe.

But it's not just bars.

It's like, you know, it's like sometimes I'll put on and it'll be like Sydney Harbor.

And just you watch the boats coming in.

I don't mean you don't sit there and like fuck it, make a ball of popcorn and stare at it.

You know what I mean?

It's just on in the background.

It's almost like a screensaver, but if you do, but I don't want to misrepresent because there are times that I'll just sit and watch.

Like, if they, if you get like a Bourbon Street cam and it's like on a street corner in Bourbon Street and you could hear the conversations and like people getting drunk and having fun, man, I'll sit there and people watch 100%.

100%.

And

this is God, it's like, like, it's like so hard to fucking nail down and do episode, do a TSD DD in our Christmas episode, fucking record it.

I'm too busy, guys.

I'm watching you guys on cam.

Hey, what happened to the Cooper Cam?

I like that.

I mean, I'm going back and watching the old shit now.

Yeah, that to me is like, how often do you do this, though?

That is

coming to me today.

I think, too, like, your friend is there and you're supposed to be there.

I kind of.

Yeah, but he's not talking about that.

You're talking about just in general.

Just Just in general.

Yeah.

Well, I'll tell you this, man.

We shot something on Staten Island last season, and I had the crew back to my house afterwards.

It's probably like 30 people.

And I put on the Key West one, the one that used to be in front of Irish Kevin's.

And

I was

mocked by my crew, much like you are now.

And then

with no fear of repercussions, huh?

He's the boss.

So you're saying there's no line that can be crossed?

If they make a particular joke that stings, you'd be like, you wouldn't hold it against them?

No,

not from a role of being their boss.

I would believe you need a new assistant director.

I mean, from a role of being a human and a friend, yeah, I'm sure they could say something that they

that would have set me.

But no, there's nothing that I would be like, well, hey, I'm not getting the respect I deserve.

And my cams aren't either.

Yeah.

So I was like, you know, I was looked askance.

Yeah.

And I was like, all right, guys.

And then.

Because

your reputation, especially in TSD town, is the one of the fucking rambunctious fucking wild man.

Is it really?

You wide-eyed wild man.

Take it back to 2005 over here.

Your teeth knocked out

in foreign countries.

Okay.

Now you're

relegated to watching other people fight on a cam a thousand miles away.

It's where it's safe.

Now you're nobody's coughing in your mouth.

Nobody.

No.

All right.

But listen, one by one, the crew, by the end of the day.

You won them over.

They were all sitting around watching, and we're all commenting and people watching.

How much of that funky cabbage was in at this party?

The funky cabbage was being consumed.

I was at the particular party.

Yeah.

That's right.

You were there.

Yeah, I was there.

So you saw.

So it looked like about a fleet of Cheech and Chong fucking minivans.

There's no way anybody still called Silver is giving this five minutes for their time.

That's not true.

I'm telling you.

I'll send you links to some webcams.

Okay.

And see if, you know, it's not that.

Like, for instance, I had one on last night.

Okay.

I had,

there's this webcam out in, I think, Michigan, and it's just this guy puts in his yard like a salt lick and animal feed, and he puts on like a night cam.

So like at night, you'll see bears come by.

Like if you just leave it on long enough, you'll see a deer come by.

So it's like just, if I'm not watching TV, I'll just throw it on.

And then if I come out of my office to walk through the living room and there's a fucking rabbit on the screen, I'm like, oh, shit.

Have you rewound it?

I got it.

I have.

I'm like, let me see when this rabbit gets you.

And I skip it back and I see him hop on.

Yeah, you got a problem.

If you're rewinding it,

but I want to see when the rabbit comes on.

Like, don't you want to know where the rabbit got that?

Hasn't your wife kind of done that with the

ring cam?

She's got a problem too.

I'm like, I don't want to see these ring cams footage no more.

I don't care how many foxes are.

Was this people coming up to other people's ring cams?

No, no, no.

Your own own ring cam.

Our own ring cam because like 10 foxes will show up at a night.

Right.

You know, and they'll all just be in the in the yard.

And I'm like, the first time it was like, wow, who knew there were this many foxes in the area?

By day three, I'm just like, it's the same 10 fucking foxes.

The deer families out there.

That's what I get in the backyard.

The deer families out there.

I'm like, cool.

I've seen it.

they're all now.

They're not babies anymore.

Are you willing for one day, if it's a repeat of the love vote, like it's the Isaac is a robot episode, episode, we'll put on Q's webcam for

you?

I'll send you some good ones because it's like and then as

cam links.

Top five?

Top five, top five,

top five.

What did I miss?

I don't know.

I missed a two thumbs up.

What the hell did I miss?

What the fuck?

I've never seen you two come alive like that in

these decades I've known you two.

We're not going to reveal that.

It's a super inside joke.

You have to be in the know.

Yeah, going six people out.

How am I not in the know?

I don't understand.

Because

you're watching Cams, not superplete and utter boring-ass podcasts.

Oh, my God.

Your Cams are way more exciting than this particular podcast.

Which podcast?

When I sell comics, did you watch?

I think it's probably an offshoot of that.

I'm sorry.

Go ahead.

Take your top five cams and we'll

sample them at the office.

And I might be adding more fuel to the fire, but I'm telling you, you also have to watch ones at certain times.

Because if you're watching one in Ireland, if you're going to click it on at that time at 9 o'clock, it's already one in the morning.

You're not going to see anything.

Oh, I thought that's when all the action happens.

Depending on if it's on a bar or something.

If you tune in at midnight at the Temple Bar, you'll see some good shit

in Ireland.

But you've got to do midnight that time, which is.

Does the bar own that footage or is it considered public domain?

I don't know.

It's got to be public domain because it's a public street.

I mean, some are inside the box.

You should do something like, you know, remember how the Girl's Gone Wild thing was a huge hit.

You should do like Hughes cams, and you just take your top, like, three hours' worth of footage and just compile it.

There's YouTube videos, there's YouTube compilations.

Oh, there's TV shows that do that kind of stuff.

Yeah, there's TV shows now that are just like, hey,

with like neighbors, like neighbors arguing.

Yeah.

But just, it's all caught on just

cell phones and shit.

It's all fun stuff.

There's one cam that's like at the bottom of the harbor, and you see a fish go by every once in a while.

It's nice.

There's an eagle nest cam and eagle nest cam, otter baby cam.

Isn't it pitch black, though?

No, it's a

yeah, it's clear water, and although at night a light comes on, and the fish get attracted to the light, and they you're not, you're not, I don't see no commentary on this.

You're not a little bit like saddened by like our that this, this is what it's become to, and like this, the wild man of TSD town has become you know neutered and is watching camp.

Well, I mean, what?

He's sitting in a bathroom.

I'm not watching like Batman like all day.

It's like, you know, it's Alfred.

Check out this fish at the bottom of the harbor.

That got attracted to me.

Does that fish have a smile?

Is it Joker back?

Oracle, are you awake?

No,

I've known about his cam addiction for some time now, so I'm not blown away by it.

Are you not at all at least a little bit like, wow, like it's like you're just watching

him

wait out the clock?

We all do it in our own way.

It doesn't feel like you're waiting out the clock, though.

It doesn't.

It feels like you're seeing shit that you wouldn't otherwise see, man.

11:17 still alive.

Saw a fish today.

Made me laugh.

I got to say, I'm not because when I go over and we turn on the cams, it is pretty fascinating.

You guys are stoned.

You guys aren't doing it.

Not all the time.

But there's also the, like, in a few minutes, we're going to get stoned.

So it's just like.

It stands on its own.

It stands as coming, though.

And so then you're able to like.

It's a volcano.

It's about to erupt.

It's warming up.

Oh, I'm telling you,

there's something to it.

Something relaxing about it.

There's something relaxing and there's something fascinating to it.

There is.

Yeah, I would have to agree that, but

I just never would have thought that, you know.

Yeah.

It's like when TSD started, that we would be 500 episodes later.

And he's the one who's evolved.

Especially when you bash somebody for having cameras set up.

Yes.

Yeah.

Well, you had cameras set up in, you know,

in the house.

They weren't live.

I didn't see a fish, though.

You know what, Kennedy?

I might

owe you an apology.

You might have been ahead of him.

You would watch the Gethem Cam?

I probably would.

I would probably check in on the Getham Cam.

I would like to officially.

That's why he's evolved.

That's why.

He's just going to apologize right now.

Extend the event.

He'll look like a fucking hypocrite, otherwise.

He's got no choice.

Oh, I don't mind looking like a hypocrite.

I enjoy wearing the hypocrite clothes.

Yeah, no problem at all.

Yeah, but yeah, you know what, Rick?

Maybe I gave you.

But I think it was more rooted in concerns about your health.

Because at that time, a lot of other shit was going on, too.

That's when he was walking around the auction 14 hours a day.

This is all healthy stuff, though.

Well, he was getting hammered, drunk storytelling, and stuff like that.

Which I've asked you to bring back.

I've begged him.

Yeah, I said I'll do it with you.

Talk about a Patreon exclusive.

I just can't get that drunk anymore.

I've seen you.

It is a year.

He thinks he's not drunk.

It's a precipitous drop.

Like, it's okay, okay, okay.

Like, gone.

Like, back then it was I could maintain that.

That

buzzed hour or that buzzed time longer than I can now.

You know how people get beer muscles or they get aggressive or they get lovey-dovey or they're like, I love you.

He thinks he gets funnier when he's drunk.

and it's not the case.

I know people like that.

I'm about to have some over for Thanksgiving.

Oh, I'd almost rather you get like aggressive than think you're funny.

I get them.

Beat up anybody in the whole room.

Fucking swam.

You always thought you could beat me up, didn't you?

No, you're in his sights like that.

Damn it.

Yeah, all right.

I'll send some over.

But

so much so, I'll leave you with this.

When last I was in QS with my brothers, I went to Irish Kevin's, which to me had the best webcam in the business, and it broke.

And I went to it, and I talked to the manager, and I said, I'll pay for an upgrade to the camera, 4K.

I'll pay for it if you get it working again.

I'll buy the new camera.

And they kind of laughed me off.

And they never fixed it?

They never fixed it.

I know.

Do you, Walt?

Do you think if we went to Jill?

Can I just hold on?

Hold that thought, though.

What are you seeing on Kevin's cams that you're like, I want to buy a 4K cam for them?

Are people getting blowjobs?

No.

What is it that you're seeing that you're like, I need to see this so much, I'm willing to pay for it?

Just what are you seeing?

Because this is really even more strange.

That you're willing to pay.

How am I the only one at this table that's not like he's got a problem?

Watching the cams, I don't think, is a problem, but I wasn't aware of this.

Well, I like the cam.

I wanted it back.

And I figured out, you know, how much money it could be.

Can you give me an example of something you saw that you're like, I really love watching Kev's cam so much that that particular cam is just the comings and goings of

people is very

like people go in that bar.

Everybody's in a good mood.

You could hear the people singing in the bar, the band playing.

The streets out there.

People go out there for smokes and just talk and drink.

Sometimes there's a fight.

Sometimes people are making out.

Sometimes people are just fellowship and having fun out there.

The cops arrest someone.

Say someone on a date who found love.

That'll be fun.

Someone on a date finds love sometimes.

How is this any different from any other bar, though?

I mean, I guess, well, it was a positioning for Irish Kevins because it was very close to the

upskirt?

No.

Cotton blouse.

No.

Cyboob?

No.

Like the one on the temple bar, the one outside the temple bar in Ireland is a little too high up for me.

Like you get more of a bird's eye view, whereas Irish Kevin's was there on the side.

You were there with them.

And I like that.

And people know the cams are there.

So they'll come up and they'll talk and they'll wave, they'll make little comments.

Have you contemplated trying like those VR goggles to see if it really gets you into the no, no,

because

I like the webcam experience.

Do you feel that the proprietors should alert every single customer, like, hey, you're on cams right now, and everybody can hear you talking?

Well, slap your joe's the hood.

So then it happened with the talking thing with their signs that are like, hey, smile, you're on camera.

Yeah, yeah.

I think they should.

Yes, but wait a minute.

Smile, you're on camera.

And people think that's for security reasons.

Some places, but do they know that they're broadcasting it to the world?

Most places will have a webcam thing with the address of it and stuff like that so they can tell their friends to come watch them and stuff like that.

I do think that they should.

Yeah, because I could be caught saying something that could

come back to haunt me if

we'll

occasionally pick up shit like that.

Yeah, oh, yeah.

Yeah.

Salacious.

Can you record these cams?

I guess if you have a art, I think the stream just lives wherever, so you can find the rewind.

Yeah.

You can find those streams.

Yeah.

I'm not saying.

Did you not realize when you made this offer to the proprietors of Irish Cavs that they, when you left, that you were like,

I think that guy's on TV.

Oh, no, he's a complete and utter weirdo.

You can't get enough of TV stuff.

He wants us to put the cams back up in 4K.

Yeah.

That's a weird request.

That's like on a level of

saying I'll pay for it.

That's what Michael Jackson would do.

Like, he would stroll into some place.

He's going to chase a $200 camera

and would make these weird requests.

But there's an upper limit on the price.

It's not like I'm like, rewind the telecom systems.

I think it's more that the guy might be like...

Very eccentric.

Well, I don't know.

They put the cam up they they obviously know it has value and for me to appreciate what they've done and then to offer to pay for it though that's taking it to the next level of like again where you be where you start to become now also bring me a chimp that i can call bubbles

he's almost he's getting to that howard hughes territory

he's in his penthouse with all the cameras on and be careful you know he you know he said that he doesn't hold it against his employees but make sure you don't go too far he's getting excited excited over there.

He's starting to get out of the way.

He said that.

Like he's drunk.

Too daddy's in.

I'm hilarious.

I was hoping that my,

you know, limited level of

celebrity would help the cause rather than I don't care how I looked.

I just want to my cam, bro.

So you're so, like, I don't want to say, I don't want to use the word out of touch because I don't think you're out of touch.

Okay, thank you.

How much is a a gallon of milk?

$20?

What is it these days?

I don't know.

If a Kardashian, let's say the male Kardashian, the brother.

Rob Kardashian.

Okay.

He showed up at the TST Town General Store and was like, I noticed you haven't had the Cooper Cam up in a while.

I'm interested in.

By the way, I watch the Cooper Cam sometimes.

I do.

I did.

It's a good camp.

Yeah.

And he was like, I'd like to pay for it to come back online

In 4K.

He leaves.

And when he leaves, is he not the talk?

Aren't we not talking about it for the rest of our lives?

All we're talking about.

Yeah.

Like, it's the guy with the socks.

It was him.

So, yeah, you don't think it's like you're not the talk of that far?

It's like the IJ guy came in and was like, he loves hidden cams.

Well, we'll definitely be speculating.

And he wanted a plaque with his name on it.

But that's the thing.

It's just like it leads to endless speculation of like, why do you think, like, did he want to play a practical joke on us?

Is the camera like loaded somehow with the camera?

He takes it into dark areas.

It's like, dude, nobody wants a camera like that and is willing to pay for it unless they're jerking off to it.

They're jerking off to the camera.

There's one guy in the back who's in the cook who knows what he jerks off to.

It's really weird.

He thinks anybody else that wants it, this band's got to be getting off on it, too.

He's like, we got a weirdo on our hands.

He's trying to put a camera in her place.

It does sound really strange.

It's not like when you say that.

I know it's not, but like you have to wonder when you leave what everybody's perception of that

offer is.

Yeah, well,

they didn't put it up, so I guess I didn't impress upon them.

You just didn't leave a check for two grand and like

for a 4K camera.

For a 4K camera in the memo only.

must be 4K.

I'll know if it's not.

You write on the back and you check.

I'll know if it's not 4K.

Makes it unusable.

He writes so much shit on it.

With night vision.

You don't need night vision because it's right under a street lamp at Irish Kevins.

Hey, man, you know, if anybody from Irish Kevins is listening, like, listen to the shit I'm taking here.

Give me my cam.

So now, circling back, do you think we could go to Jill?

Who runs the plaza?

Yeah.

And convince her, since they just installed all these new cameras

that they should put Airport Plaza on.

Cams?

Yeah.

Again, I think we walk out of there like total wackos.

Like we look like total, like something is deviant going on.

We're like, we want cams everywhere.

Jill, shut up.

They pay the rent.

Just give them whatever they want.

Okay, okay, yeah.

So she says no, and I know where the closet is that has all these feeds.

I go in there and splice into them and do like a pyro.

You won't even turn the AC on.

Now you're splicing in fucking cameras.

Let me see.

I mean, we could start showing you some now, but I mean, I don't know.

Send us looks.

All right, okay.

We'll come back to it, I guess.

Let me read something real fast because I know we all got to calm down.

It's getting very hot in here.

This isn't going to help.

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Adam and Eve is offering.

They use the word Adam and Eve, though, as their spokespeople.

Like, you know, when you hear Adam and Eve, you think of God.

You don't think of sex.

No, I do.

I think of original sin.

Yeah, original sin.

That's what I think.

Yeah.

I think of God creating the first two human beings.

And then they're like, fuck you, God, we're going to bang.

Without sex.

He created them, you know, from dust.

Right.

And one from a rib.

Well, I thought one from a rib, right?

Yeah.

Yeah, there was no rib.

There was no like ugly coatus going on.

I know.

It's disgusting.

Well, there was when they were tempted by the snake.

You tell me if there was a webcam in the Garden of Eden, you wouldn't fucking check that out.

Oh, yeah.

Come on.

Well, there's Chronovision.

I don't know if we mentioned that.

That's tough to get to.

You know, the Pope could probably...

The time camera?

No, it's a time television.

Yeah.

You could put in any date in the television and watch it.

That's like the original webcam, bro.

Yeah.

See?

You're right.

It is.

Yeah.

You'd watch that one.

Chronovision?

No, I wouldn't want to see stuff like that.

No.

No, because then that's what that's all our downfall, though.

That's what all the problems in the world started because fucking Eve.

Little hoe.

Who would have thunk, right?

Yeah.

Yeah, I know, right?

Exactly.

A woman causing all our problems.

You know what I'm saying?

Sorry, sorry.

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I don't think that Adam and Eve has a cam down in Key West, but they do have a store,

which we visited right before Fantasy Fest.

Mary Beth picked up a bunch of supplies at Adam and Eve.

Nice.

Not only did she pick up a bunch of supplies, but she decided because she had the costumes and all the pictures from Fantasy Fest, she went ahead and she started her OnlyFans.

That doesn't really have anything to do with me.

She doesn't even want me involved.

And it does seem that this OnlyFans, it's a lot of girls looking at each other's pictures.

Yeah.

That's the way it seems.

Well, how do you feel about it as

a warm wife?

Is this going into hot wife territory?

Are we still warming up?

No, because nobody else is involved.

So, you know, except on a virtual level.

Right.

So I would still count this under warm wife.

And

I don't mind it.

You don't mind it.

I don't mind it.

I like it.

Yeah, I think it's cute.

And she has fun doing it, so what the hell.

Okay, it's not hurting anybody.

People are making a killing on that.

I have an ex-girlfriend that does

OnlyFans.

Yeah, she's making some money.

She's making good money.

I fucked up.

It's Mary Beth Rosie, R-O-S-I-E.

R-O-S-I-E.

Yeah, count roses.

Why don't you spell the whole thing out?

M-A-R-I-B-E-T-H-R-O-S-I-E.

Okay.

There you go.

Go check her out.

She's pretty.

Speaking of making money, you got

some lottery tickets.

I did.

And

Walt posed the question that if you won big,

would you share it?

Ants.

I don't know if it was an ant.

Yeah, it's an ant.

Oh, really?

I thought it was an IJ

fan.

Because if it was an ant, I would have thought that she'd send all of us lottery tickets.

Yeah, I just really cute.

Especially the one who could really use it.

No, this is her name is Amy.

She says, and she thanks me specifically for not getting too large for Tome Steve, Dave.

I will say, you know what?

I echo that sentiment.

She's pretty?

No, that,

you know, well, I think

everyone is super thankful that BQ never got too big for TSD.

And I don't think a lot of people say it often enough.

How thankful we are that you didn't just like

get in your car and then not even look in the rearview mirror

that would have been really deflating for me

yeah forget tell him steve dave if suddenly he's just i'm in the rearview

you know i don't know any of us could have stopped doing tell him steve dave but i just love doing it reason to stop though you had multitude of reasons you had too much success too much uh of your time being demanded

uh there was a super busy period in the middle maybe where I would agree with that.

But now, you know, as I'm on the down slope of my career, sitting around watching cams.

But no, well, anyway, I appreciate that.

She's right.

Thank you.

Thank you for that.

I appreciate that.

But I love telling Steve, Dave.

It's not anything that I should be

like, what I get out of it is

what I love.

Like, I'm not doing it as a favor.

No.

Yeah, you know what I mean?

You know, but like, you know,

your real gig demands so much of you that you couldn't be faulted if you were like, guys.

She's watching cams for fucking six, seven hours a day.

Well, I didn't know that until

today, though.

Yeah,

my whole thinking maybe is all out of whack now, but before today, I would have agreed 100% with her.

Well, my point is she's an aunt.

Yes, okay.

And she sent you a whole bunch of lottery tickets.

Ghostbusters themed scratch-offs.

And you can win up to $500,000.

And you posed a question just like 10 seconds before we started recording that I was like, yeah, I don't know.

And then we just started recording.

My question was, let's say you scratch off something on one of the cards she sent in and you hit big money.

Big 500K.

Or even 100K or 50K or 1,000.

Are you sending something back to her?

Because you do have her return address on the envelope.

That's true.

You could.

do the right thing.

Well, why is that the right thing?

Yeah, that's the question.

Is it the right thing?

It's a gift to to me.

Right, but not an investment in me.

It could hurt her, too, and she might have to pay taxes on it then.

Karma, though.

And I know how much you

respect karma.

Yeah, I think, well, you know, I've long considered myself an instrument of karma

from my 20s and whatnot.

That's always been my view of myself.

I would say

it's probably best if I won the big 500K.

It's probably best if I just don't advertise that.

Well,

I don't say you mention it on TSD, but do you just send her a check

for some of the money since she sent you in the war?

Well, what would you do?

Oh, hell yeah, karma?

Yeah.

Oh, yeah.

I am contacting her, and I'm like, look, you sent me this.

I won.

Right.

You know, we're going to share this.

How much are you, if you win 500K, how much are you breaking off?

For her?

Yeah.

What's her name?

Amy.

Amy, I would have sent you

400K of the get the fuck out of

my children's life.

You're sending her

400 out of 500K.

Yeah, she brought the ticket.

She sends it to me.

It's exactly what I'm saying.

That's the right thing to do now.

No, it's not.

Because let's say that she sent you a book, right?

And within a year, that book really went up in value.

Like something happened.

The value increased drastically.

You could sell it for $50,000 if you felt like it.

it do you then if you're like hey man i'm going to sell this book do you then feel like you have to turn around and give her money it's not it's not a good analogy though this is like immediate money off of something that was always a possibility you could win something off of

i don't know to me that's just the way i would roll but to give her 80 of the money that seems excessive she probably needs it more than you do q i mean i don't know anything about it we're talking about q okay yeah because i mean that's why that's a good thing that you don't tell anybody because if you ever find out that BQ, TP's BQ, $500,000 in the middle of the market.

You know the webcam I could fucking buy Irish Kevins with 500 grand in my fucking pocket?

I have a drone down there that automatically just

minimum that you win that you're that you feel like you reluctantly send her some money then

do you at least send her enough to cover the tickets?

Oh my god.

I just feel

if it's a gift.

I know it was a gift.

But there's this.

So if I win $5, I'm going to send her.

This is your own brand of karma, though.

That's like, that's...

Yeah, you would have to.

I'm not saying he should do that, too.

I'm just curious what he would do.

That was why I asked the question.

Hasn't there been a case something like this where the guy tipped the waitress a lot of ticket and it ended up winning?

Yeah, there was a whole movie, right?

Nicholas Cage movie.

Was it?

Okay.

There could be a movie about this, Q.

If you don't send her the money, there's no way they're going to be a money.

They're making a movie.

Oh, no, they will.

No, they're making a YouTube video.

That's it.

Yeah, you're right.

Nobody's putting the movie into your head.

Jeez, man.

All right.

So I scratch.

What do you do, get him?

Let me get this.

Let me go around.

We know what he does.

He doesn't even tip at a fucking buffet.

Oh, that's true.

Yeah.

I do now.

You could be honest.

I do now.

People are.

Oh, yeah.

You change your ways.

I tipped $2 last time.

I'm proud of you, Getem.

I'm very proud of you.

That's very good that you said that.

You have an opportunity here to really change your public perception.

When you think about it.

You've been taking a big hit, too.

Yeah, you have been getting hit hard.

Deservedly, I feel.

You've been unpalatable for quite a bit lately.

So I'm sort of curious to what would you do if you won 500K?

How much of it are you giving back to Amy?

No, also, you have to.

First, you can't give her 400K.

Yeah, because you have to factor your taxes.

You're paying your taxes.

I'm going to give her the ticket.

I'm going to send her the ticket and be like, here, you take care of it.

You get the 500K.

Give me the 100.

You keep the 400.

You know,

you're paying taxes on your 100, though, still.

No, no, I'd be like, Amy,

I can't have Uncle Sam here about this.

Okay.

Look, I gave you 400K back.

You take care of my taxes.

Okay, well, why are you screaming at her?

Top five.

She fucking so ungrateful.

She doesn't want to pay my taxes on the 100K.

They were never rude.

Yeah, I'm like, make it happen, Amy, right?

I don't have to pay a dime of taxes.

I don't got to think about any of this.

100k cash from Amy.

Right.

Okay.

Get him.

Send it through one of those apps that the terrorists send money through.

On the dark web.

We want all the eyes on us.

So send it in prepaid phone cards.

Do you have Green Dot where you live?

Oh, sorry, Amy.

So like that guy who called me up.

That guy called me up the other day.

Yeah,

send the Google Play cards, and I'll buy a Ferrari with it and marry your daughter.

Go ahead.

So what do I win?

500.

Okay, so what's my take-home after that?

Like 50?

250?

250.

And do we have a previous agreement of...

No, you're living my experience right now.

You opened an envelope, somebody sent you a gift because they appreciate you.

Staying on Tellum Steve Dave,

here's your gift.

In this scenario, she sent you these cards to stay off at Tellum Steve Dave.

Well,

if it's that, then

I'm keeping it.

But

I would look to see what the maximum I could give somebody tax-free is so that they're under no burden.

And that's what I would do.

I think the maximum is probably $10,000.

Yeah, that's like $10,000.

I thought it was like, was it in an

Shawshank redemption?

It was like $30,000 or something.

I don't know.

Fucking Shawshank took place in the 20s.

Okay.

I'd contact Sexy Lawyer, see exactly

what I could do tax.

Like I said,

Sexy Lawyer may not be working for us free anymore when he finds out.

Oh, he's going to $500,000 in there.

$500,000.

He's like, hey, you know what that agreement was when you were a struggling podcast?

Living in the middle of the morning.

I got to figure out a way to fuck this lady out of some money, Sexy Lawyer.

I would give her the maximum that I could tax-free for them so that they're under no burden.

Okay, I think that's a good idea.

Because maybe I don't like that.

Because

you don't know what their situation is.

That may raise a red flag that triggers an audit and then they're screwed.

You're just assuming that.

She's like, oh, no, don't put me into a million-dollar tax break or whatever you do.

Yeah, please.

Like, how did you know?

Say that again.

Yeah, say that.

Say all those scenarios again and why you're on it.

Because he's making himself look like he's a good guy.

No, because these are all the things that he fears when he gets money.

Right?

I don't want an audit coming in after me.

All these weird things that you fear are you're putting on amy

you don't you she's not living in it like you are where you're where your your wages have been garnished for the last 40 years

my wages

yes they have been you can't put money in the bank you told me because as soon as it goes into the bank all your old debts are going to start being no i said i said for a while i was only keeping i was only keeping a hundred dollars in because yeah that that did happen i got i got you got garnished yeah i got a a settlement and it pulled all the the money out of my account.

So you think that everybody has living like you.

But

that is not the case anymore.

I do keep money in the bank.

You paid off your debts?

It was, yeah, I can't remember what it was.

It was just something that, like, an old credit card that I forgot about.

Oh, God.

Yeah, so you don't have any more.

There's no chance on the planet that any of your wages will be garnished anymore.

I think, if anything, it might be the IRS because they still have not cashed my last.

They haven't cashed the check I sent to Blast.

And I'm not, I don't know what that's, what I'm supposed to do in this situation.

Do I cancel the check?

Yeah.

Or wait six months and then send them another check?

I don't know.

Yeah.

So, all right, so you have his.

So 10K is his 10K.

I said.

The maximum, whatever it is.

The maximum is.

And then, Johnson,

you're with me?

I'm with you.

I think what I'm going to do is after the 250, I might break her off 50.

50.

I think 50 sounds fair.

Yeah.

But to give over 80% of a gift that was given to me.

Right.

Although, you know what?

I might look into her personal financial situation a little bit more, a little deeper, and say,

maybe you need this more than.

But fuck her.

I got a kid.

What is going on?

Maybe she's got four.

That's her problem, man.

She's trying to have four kids.

She spent $20, man.

Like,

what is a gift?

What is the purpose of a gift?

I get it.

I get where you're coming from.

I get your

point of view.

Well, joking aside, I completely get cracking her outside creating her money.

I get it.

If you win the 500K

and you haven't scratched any off yet,

so let's go on record in case, and then scratch them off and see if Amy won any money.

I win 500K.

I would probably

want to go Havzies, I think, with her.

Yeah.

That's pretty good.

I think so.

It's pretty good.

Yeah.

Again, though,

I fear karma, though.

I would be like, it's still 100K in my pocket.

Why are you fearing karma?

Yeah.

Like, why are you fearing?

It doesn't necessarily give you good karma just to give her money.

though.

But how do you know?

You're acting like it's a fucking guarantee.

Well, because he's going to heaven.

Because at the end of the day,

I'm already there.

At the end of the day,

I feel like I have gotten good karma.

Oh, because of that kind of stuff?

Yeah, all right.

Yeah, but like.

I go to bed at night and I thank God for all the things that I have.

I wonder if it's because of some of the karma that I have.

put back into this world.

Last week he was mocking me for obeying Robert the Dahl's rules.

Yeah.

And now I'm hearing that the

superstition is fucked.

Thanking God?

Thank it.

Yes.

Pretty much, yeah.

I don't see a difference, really, personally.

Why?

Well, wait a minute.

But you fucking bowed to the knee of a fucking plastic doll.

He's evil.

And so did Q, by the way.

Oh, no.

Yes.

He follows Robert the Doll's rules.

He follows rules.

What are his rules again?

Remember when we went there?

You have to ask him if you can take a picture.

You take a picture with him.

LQ ain't balancing no fucking

cabbage patches.

Bullshit.

That doll's scary, man.

I don't want to fold it up.

I looked at the pictures of me.

He ain't more powerful than my God.

No, he's not.

Your God seems to cause a lot of fucking trouble in the world, man.

Yeah, Robin Dolls do.

Robin Vidal is the best.

Yeah, he's a little mischief maker.

He's quarantined to his little...

He's not going to bug you if you're not going to be able to do that.

And really, he's just asking you to bug.

He's thanks to him.

That's all he wants.

The curators of that museum should all be riddled with cancer if that fucking doll actually worked for keeping him locked up in a fucking museum.

Where else is he going to do that?

They should have

testicular and pussy

cancer

for what they've done to that doll.

I wish I had this conversation prior because I would have brought this up to her.

I'm like, you don't have to have pussy cancer,

do you?

Because you should.

If anybody's fucked over that doll, it's the people who are making money off of the

official dollars.

I agree with you on that much.

As far as like the merchandising of Robert,

it's increased drastically since the first time we went.

Oh, yeah.

He legitimately right now could be like going to bed every night, being hugged and being cared for, having tea parties with other toys.

But no, he's fucking in a glass fucking coffin that fucking 55-year-old men are fucking going up to and being like, hey, can I take a picture with you?

I mean, it's no chocolate walk.

I agree.

It's not like it was that.

Five-year-old man, what a shot.

What a shot.

Bam.

He fucked with my guy.

Look.

You know what?

And that's Jitch Starge Wars.

I don't know if you looked over at the Middle East lately.

What's going on over there?

I haven't heard.

I did read a fact about the doll in that the current case he is in was donated by a fan.

Really?

Yeah.

All right.

What's weirder, that guy or the guy with the webcam?

It's a climate conflict.

It's fair comparing her to Amy, is it?

Or weirder than the girl just saying.

No, I think.

She probably needs the fucking winnings way more than PQ does.

Yeah, it's a.

Then Amy shouldn't send me Ghostbusters scratch off.

I think it was the Ghostbusters thing that probably sold her.

It's like, oh, I know who loves Ghostbusters.

I know who loves money.

It's very sweet of her.

And I'm very grateful that she wants to.

Which date are those out of, anyway?

What are you fucking scrambling on your phone for the last 10 minutes here?

You want to tell me?

10 minutes.

I just want to show you this picture.

This is a listener.

That's Robert the Doll.

That's somebody making a mockery of Robert the Doll.

A listener of TSD?

Yeah, Gina sent the listener, Gina, texted this to me.

And she said that her husband made fun of the doll,

as you can see from the picture.

Three years of bad luck.

Right after that, her mother-in-law, who she doesn't like, moved in with her.

Three years.

That's the kind of shit.

It's going to happen.

I mean, I guess a lot of people are showing up to this museum based on the fucking state of that fucking ceiling.

No, it's part of it.

It's a part of the whole thing.

Yeah.

She said,

she said, I have a healthy respect for Robert.

My husband disrespected him, and my mother-in-law moved in with us for three years.

I apologize every time we're back in Key West.

You know what, though?

So, but so he didn't.

It's all of their point of view, though.

It's all the way they look at shit.

It's a blessing to have your mother-in-law still be with you.

That you could still see her, you know.

She fucking raised your husband.

You fucking

oh, I thought it was,

I thought you were reading off the website.

That's actually somebody who listens to TSD?

Yeah, that's a horse.

Oh, that's a little harsh for a listener.

I got to put in my quacking sound now.

So after the husband insults it, Gary, Robert, Gary?

Robert.

Robert the doll.

They're trying to play it cool, too.

Like, they can't remember Robert's name.

Who's there?

You were doing it last week.

You were calling them all kinds of different names.

It was the first week you mentioned it.

Robert, it's Robert.

It's like John, like one of the most easy names to remember.

how soon after did she try to apologize?

And did it continue for three years, even though she was apologizing?

And or did the...

Yeah, when did the bad luck stop?

I guess when the mom moved out.

Was that the girl?

The mother-in-law moved out.

Is that because

what made it so unbearable?

There's far more.

She didn't include all that in the text.

I could ask her for next time.

There's far more heinous things that can happen to you than your mother-in-law moving in with you.

Look, let me tell you something.

My mother-in-law is fine.

Mary Beth's mother-in-law, I wouldn't want to live with her for three years.

I'm telling you right now, it would drive me fucking crazy.

That would be rough, right?

The only way I was able to do it years back was because I was so fucking,

was it ossified by drugs and shit and like dead inside that like nothing mattered so it didn't like you didn't care but when you're when you have your surroundings and you're aware of things around you it's different you do realize how like how insanely hypocritical hypocritical it is for you to fucking

bow to the whims of a doll and then and then have the gall to then be like say something that what's if somebody believes in god that they're i think it's just as corny yeah i'm not saying that i'm not corny for doing it but one's just fun the other you're basing your life around yeah and you're afraid of like you're afraid of God it's like are you thanking him because of all this good stuff

I was afraid no I'm asking

that's why I'm asking it's not like I'm trembling and in fear but if you don't do it you think bad the bad things might happen or good things might stop happening I think it could okay

all right I mean just like a million of other people on this on this planet yeah but I mean all those fucking little kids with cancer and shit, I just don't see how they're like, oh, well, they must have fucking pissed God off.

So now he's mad at them.

So karmatically, they must have done something.

All those kids with bad karma.

Like, that's the thing.

But you believe Gina, though.

Gina.

What, that she had bad luck?

Her bad luck is legit.

I think she had bad luck.

I'm not saying it's because of Robert.

I'm just saying.

You don't believe her.

You believe in Robert, then, do you?

I don't know.

You're big ballsy here

in Hazlitt, New Jersey.

So you're in Key West, all of a sudden those balls shrink up.

Let me tell you something.

When I was in Key West, all of a sudden he's got fucking fear muscles.

When I was in Key West, they thought I was a eunuch walking around.

Like, I don't want to run afoul of Robert.

He runs this town.

Let's all calm down for a second.

Talk about Raycon.

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Walt, we've been talking recently about,

you know, we talked about the con, somebody's crapping on the floor.

The plane, somebody's crapping in the plane.

They built an entire park out of feces, human feces over there in Staten Island.

I'm not sure if you're aware of this, Q.

What are you talking about?

They built a park on the floor.

They built a park and part of a landfill in Staten Island, and they said they're using recycled human feces for the, I guess, for the ground and shit.

I don't know if that's it.

I don't think they built it.

Oh, it said it right in the paper, right?

It said it right in the New York Post.

You were just reading off from your iPad.

Are they using it for fertilizer to grow?

I think it's actually within the soil itself.

Well, what they did, I know, is they took Freshkill's landfill and turned it into a park.

Yeah.

And it's gorgeous now.

It's like

Staten Island standards.

By the words.

You can hardly smell the feces.

Can you smell the feces?

I haven't smelled any feces

while I was there, but I mean, you guys see a lot of wildlife there.

You can go kayaking down the canals and little lakes and stuff.

Yeah.

It's all reclaimed land.

I mean, that dump closed over 20 years ago.

So you can go kayaking down Love Canal?

Sure.

I don't know what he's getting at.

What is he getting at?

I missed that.

I don't know.

You didn't like that joke.

I didn't get the joke.

I don't like when I don't get jokes.

I'm like, I don't understand.

Love Canal was an area back in the 70s, right?

Yeah, yeah.

I think late 60s into the 70s where there was a lot of heavy metals.

Like one of the most toxic places in the United States.

Yeah, it was like a super fun site.

Where is Love Canal?

It's in New York, I think, right?

Yeah.

Up by Niagara, I think, somewhere around there.

I want to know why I should have gotten this reference.

Okay, while you're doing that, Walt Disney-themed park guests are pooping while waiting online for rides.

Wow, in Disneyland?

In Disney.

I guess somebody tweeted on social media or put it on social media.

I'm in the queue for Disney, Rise of the Resistance at Disney World.

Someone just let their kid take a dump on the floor, and then they walked out and left it.

WTF wrote one poster on Reddit.

Another Reddit.

Another Redditor claims to have worked near the ride and confirmed.

And

for the skeptics, this actually happened.

Fun fact, this was one of three shit-related incidents at Rise today.

Less fun fact, I was there for all three of them.

Well, what Disney has to do if this is becoming the norm,

they put up a camera.

They have to.

She was watching.

Pooper cam.

Do a shot every time somebody takes a shit.

No, they have to offer both

child-size and adult-size diapers to people online then that they can just quickly slip into in case

they have to go then.

And that will eliminate then

them dropping their drawers and just doing it on the carpet.

So they're going to put on the diaper prior?

Yeah.

Nobody's going to do that.

Well,

if you think you might have to go.

So maybe like you raise your hand in line and like a Disney.

Who's going to?

Who's going to shit right in front of 100,000 people?

A bunch of people.

It happened at least three times in one day.

I tell you, I would put the diaper on, though.

You would wear the diaper?

Rather than having like a crowd.

You got to put it on in front of everybody, though.

Well, I bet you maybe there's something they can do as you cross through a certain area where no one can see you.

And if you want to put the diaper on, you can.

This seems practical.

We should go with this.

Oh, no, you know, like a changing board, you know, that you can't see on either side as you walk through, almost like when you walk through a metal detector, but here you're walking through a place where you can quickly slip the diaper on discreetly

privately.

And then what, go on a ride with a diaper full of shit?

Yeah, I know.

And everybody's shit around it.

Yeah, it's like, get the fuck out of line.

If you've got to take a shit, get out of line.

That's the answer.

That's the only answer.

As opposed to dropping a deuce on the ground.

Those aren't the only two options, though.

I just feel like you get off.

What they should do is build bathrooms mid-line.

That you can get off of line and reclaim your spot.

Hey, man, you just tell

your wife or whatever, you'll be like, just hold my spot.

I'll be right back.

Who's going to believe you, though, if you got a rowdy crew behind you and you get out of line?

And then you come back in, you're like, hey, hey, no cut.

What if it's an official?

I haven't seen of shit.

What if it's a

cast member who does it for you?

Yeah.

Yeah, like you know, you fall over goofy.

Like,

gotta stand in the line.

Yeah, there were, I gotta drop a Pluto.

Feeling a little goofy down there.

Two former cast members penned a book detailing their experiences as custodial team workers in the 90s and early 2000s called Cleaning the Kingdom: Insider Tales of Keeping Walt's Dreams Spotless, and wrote that spotting human waste triggered a protocol known as Human Code H.

That's a great band name.

Code H.

Or at least a song.

Human Code H.

That is a fucking killer.

That is, you're right.

Human Code H.

It's like fucking thrash.

Industrial metal.

And it's just shit, or is that P as well?

That's just shit, yeah.

Code H stood for, you originally stood for horse crap, which would call for the cleaners to pick up after one of the horses that was pulling a vehicle along Main Street.

But then I guess people were like, hey, if the horses can do it, why not us?

Which, you know, yeah, we don't freak out if we see a horse on Main Street, you know, drop it.

We don't go fucking crazy and run the Reddit.

So,

but all of a sudden.

Yeah, why shouldn't humans be able to just drop trowel on Main Street?

Do you know how much money you paid to get into Disney?

It's like $200 a ticket now.

You should be allowed to wipe your ass with a ticket.

That golden ticket.

Yo, Mickey, TV over here.

Golden ticket looks a little different color now.

Well, they don't have diapers, but they do say Disney guests who need to use a bathroom during notoriously long wait lines can alert a cast member and have their place held in line.

There you go.

According to Q Times website, the average wait time for the Seven Dwarves Mind Train is about 78 minutes.

Space Mountains about an hour.

Oh, my God.

That's why they keep raising prices.

Yeah.

There's something called an IncrediPass, which sells for $1,500 now.

What is that?

Is that what you had?

Doesn't say here.

I think I had an employee.

It's got to to be the same thing.

What is it called?

Predipass?

In Predipas.

Oh, okay.

It sounds like something a lot more sinister.

Did you get to hunt down another guest?

Wow.

So, yep, park guest pooping online.

And that is just another

story with pooping recently.

We talked about the plane.

We talked about...

I don't think you were here last time when we talked about the

con, were you?

We pooped at the con.

Pooped on somebody, New York Comic Con.

Cabot Center,

somebody took a shit on the floor.

Yep.

So what were they doing?

Like, were they on a line?

According to Ming Chen, they were very excited over seeing Chris Evans' ass.

And he also suggested it might have been Mike, but I don't think that's true.

So Ming saw it with his own eyes?

Yeah, my buddy E-Rock took a picture of it.

It was like on the floor.

It was brown and diarrhea ish-looking.

Yeah.

So it probably was just an emergency.

It wasn't no statement, probably.

No, I don't think so.

I would accept it as a statement.

Here's the thing of you, Ming Chen.

Not the Maverick.

Oh, I got the.

You got the awards?

I brought a first draft of award categories for us to discuss if you guys wanted to get into that.

Let me read this real fast and then we can get into it.

We don't have anything else to do.

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Nice.

All right.

So I came up with

a few suggestions.

I think I got like 12 here.

Oh, that's a lot.

Categories.

And I don't think it's a final list.

I just figured, you know, we'll workshop it a little bit, see what you guys respond to, see what the audience responds to.

Store it against the wall.

Okay, so the first one for the TESD awards

was: we already discussed this one, the Four Colorademia Maverick Award,

which is awarded to the

most Maverick member of the year.

I could send it to you.

With the links for the webcams.

Yeah.

Obviously, you know, I think Ming Chen would have a lock on that this year.

But

then I thought, let's get right into the hot seat.

The People's Choice.

for host.

Which of the three of us would get the People's Choice awarded as host?

Oh, that's a lock.

All right.

That's definitely a lot.

With that attitude, it certainly is a lot.

We don't host anything.

What are you talking about?

What do we host?

This show.

Oh, I thought you meant like on Patreon or something.

No, no.

Oh, okay.

I was going to say because Walt hosts all the shows.

Well, the game shows and stuff.

When I think of hosts, that's what I think of.

Frank Tries has like three shows he hosts.

That's true.

Is Jimmy the Hair Guy?

TSD.

Yeah, I was just talking about TSD.

Okay.

I think I mentioned this one before, but the Chris Ledondo Social Awareness Award, where Chris selects who has had the most social aware moment of the year.

In TSD town.

In TESD Town.

Right.

On mic

or on camera, not something that they did in their social media.

No, it has to have been within the course of the show, I would think.

Okay.

Yeah.

The Get Hem Worldview Award.

An award given by Get Hem to whoever he feels most aligns with his worldview.

I don't know if anybody wants to win that one.

Yeah.

But I thought it might be funny.

People are going to be dragging their heels walking up to accept that.

Yeah.

So it's the person that he thinks

mostly resembles him, his worldview.

Yeah.

Okay.

And it could be a moment.

I mean, again, these are all just spitballing.

No, no, I like that one.

I got opening episode quote of the year award.

You know how you put the quotes in the

song?

Oh, yeah.

People could choose their favorite random quote from there.

And this would encompass the entire library or just a year year well if we can do this every year if we're building yeah yeah so the 2024 tesds would be for the year of 2023 correct okay yeah

best new gamer bit i figure give everybody something to debate now is this solely limited to to tell them steve dave uh

i think we can go into well i always think in terms of tell them steve dave but like you mean open it to the patreon as well i think so why not yeah i don't know i don't know what you're thinking well Well, it's just because not everybody,

I don't know why everybody doesn't want to

know.

But, yeah, okay, I see what you're saying.

You want to open up a little bit more.

I don't know.

I don't know either.

None of this.

This is all we're working it out.

Working it out.

I figure everybody will like this one: the Jeers Un Award, given to the member of TESD town who has said the most stupid thing this year.

So they could debate who said the stupidest shit this year.

The Do Bitter Award.

Now, we're

supposed to play on that?

Do Bitter?

Well, remember how Brian got all upset about that?

The sticker.

The sticker, and we said he should have a sticker called Do Bitter.

I just figure, you know how people give Brian shit about his rants?

What's about everything, right?

Yeah.

It might be the phone.

Why, what's going on?

Yeah.

Yeah, I just got a little crack on it.

Oh, okay.

Yeah.

How everybody gives Brian shit about,

you know, some of his stands on things.

But there's got to be a stand that people agree with.

There's got to be at least one.

So, what is the one of these standards, the Do Bitter Award?

For once, well, you nailed it on the head with

your bitter view of things.

Okay.

I like that one.

Technical Award.

Who did the best technical work on the show?

I did that for my boy over there.

Figured maybe he could win one.

Oh, Rupert the fucking cheeseburger complainer, you mean?

You're that guy?

Oh, yeah.

Yeah.

Let's see what else did I have here.

Opening award Jeers, the episode of the Year.

Figure everybody could give everybody a chance to weigh in on what their favorite episode is.

Technical Award.

Jeers on one.

Opening episode quote.

Audience Appreciation Award.

We discussed this one on the show already.

Which Ant deserves recognition from us.

So we would have to get a list of that.

And then I also have

the Fantasies.

Hot Button Award, the best hot button topic on the show from the last year.

Spotsylvania.

I mean, there's still some time in 2023.

I mean, that's a layup.

Why?

What do you think it is?

I mean, but there's only one that like that

made the news.

This year.

Yes, this year.

It would be 2023, yeah.

Yeah.

But,

you know, if we're doing this every year.

Mary Beth, get that fucking portrait out of the way.

I got to be an award.

You want to like.

Well, we're saying.

Now you want to recognize it.

I would like to be recognized for it.

It's like a must off to fucking

ignore it.

#577: Human Code H

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