#576: Double Puss-Out
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Transcript
Hey, panics, they find her dead with a scheme of yarn in her mouth.
My kid could be rolling around and shit like a pig.
I didn't know there was a yarn store, but I know who's shipping out and who's bed.
Tell him, Steve, Dave.
Hello, and welcome to this week's edition of Tell him Steve Dave.
I'm here with Walt.
Cho.
And Q Lis this week.
I'll tell you why in a moment.
Instead, we got Sunday Jeff sitting in.
Top.
Yeah, fan favorite.
And we join you mid-conversation talking about get him being afraid of the yarn lady
because we have a thermostat that controls
all the offices on this floor, right?
No, no, it only controls this room and
her room and the hallway.
Okay, so nobody cares about the hallway, really.
No, no, no.
What about Abram?
He's on a different system now.
Nobody knows this.
How do do you know this?
How do you know all this?
He's like one of the aliens.
He's going through the ductwork and shit.
By process of elimination.
He's showing tile shinking.
It's like his shape, just like his face.
Like, I don't know if you notice now, there's little silver tape there so that I can see when there's air movement.
Oh, you put that up there?
Yes.
So by process of elimination, I figured out that this system will be off, and that system is still going, so it's not part of this system.
That doesn't remind you of like the old days at Topps.
We had the fans, and they had the stupid, stupid tensile to make sure, you know, that air is blowing through it.
Look how cold this air blows.
So, yeah, so Giddam is
I'm just learning this, though, that she's the only one you have to answer to.
I was under the impression that it's like one of the Ron's might be like, hey, it's a little cold or a little hot or whatever.
No, I come in and you say that, well, you say that it was 81 degrees in here the other day, and Giddam's just sitting there sweating and taking it.
He's like, it's fine.
Yeah.
Well, again, I normally wear shorts.
I normally wear shorts and a t-shirt.
He normally wears three sweatshirts and a toque and a pair of pants.
Not that day.
I was just in a t-shirt, and it was unbearable.
Yeah.
And you were unwilling to...
to finagle the thermostat until the yarn lady agreed that it was too hot in here.
Yes, because I don't want her to see me change the temperature so that I have deniability that I'm the one who did it.
Well, you just say, I didn't change it, even if you did change it.
Even if she says you would change it, you're like, no, I didn't.
If she sees me and I lock eyes with her, she really can't.
It's still your word against hers, though.
I mean, she's going to.
And that's also assuming she's going to run to the lady and be like,
the landlord.
Guess what?
One of the tenants changed the temperature.
Like, it was 81 degrees, and he tried to put it down to a
breathable 75.
He's got a key, a paperclip.
So what I normally do is I wait for her to go to the bathroom and then I scurry out and change it real quick.
No, you didn't.
You didn't do it.
Not that
day.
That day I did not because you were like, oh,
is he capable of scurrying?
I'm melting.
I'm melting.
So why wouldn't you do it that day when I'm melting?
I did do it that day.
Only after I browbeat you to be like, because I went over and I said to the garden lady, I was like, it's hot in here, right?
And you said she said she agreed.
So I'm like, okay, now she's on our side.
So that means you're scared of her.
No, now she's on our side, so she's.
Well, she said it.
Yeah, she's not going to complain.
She's agreeing, so she's not going to complain and go to, you know, whoever is.
So she saw you change the temperature.
Yes.
So she knows that you.
No, no, no, no, no, no.
She saw me.
She saw me turn the air conditioning on because it was still set to heat.
It was still set to heat because we had that one really warm day.
That possible.
How did you explain to her your little paper clip that you were able to change the temperature?
When she sees you, she'd be like, you know, like, isn't it, you know, what do you feel?
Is it a little warm in here?
A little cool here, Tyree.
He panics.
They find her dead with a scheme of yarn in her mouth.
Like you said, because I can do it doesn't necessarily mean because I can do it doesn't necessarily mean that I did do it.
So
I have plausible deniability.
She did not see me do it, so she can't say that I did it.
Plausible deniability to who?
You are not in the Airport Plaza courtroom.
I'm not trying to cause any waves at Airport Plaza, so I don't want want to be known as like.
Believe me, with the amount of waves that we see going on around this plaza, we are the least of the landlords' concerns.
We are the best tenants.
We have a lot of problems here, huh?
Oh, my God, bro.
You wouldn't believe it.
People not paying rent for months on end.
But we do.
All those people camping out.
But we have a.
It's a sideshow here, yeah.
We have a new.
I'm a syndrome.
How are you stacking that?
What is that?
Was he sleeping outside?
We're comparing him to the elephant man right now.
Oh, believe me, when the cops come in here in the middle of the night, if there's an alarm goes off, no, no, if an alarm goes off, it's not our alarm.
We have an alarm.
Yeah, we do.
Yeah, we have a door.
We have a watchman.
We don't have an alarm.
They're sleeping for the door.
It sounds like they got a pit bull in there.
But like, if another alarm goes off and the cops come up here and you see him wandering around because he's got to stick his and he's so fucking nosy, he's got to go look and see what's going on.
You don't think the police are like, what the fuck?
Why is he here?
I heard you on my scanner, officer.
What seems me a problem?
Something happened to everyone.
Not the yarn lady, is it?
She's fine, right?
Nobody killed her.
You're not here about the thumbstut, are you, officer?
He just
swallows the paper clip.
Now, someone was this.
Jeff didn't realize there was a yarn store here?
Yeah.
He did not realize there was a yarn store.
Why?
Why?
How?
How?
I thought you just didn't see the sign.
I walked past a lot of things here and I don't notice anything.
Half the doors are closed.
I don't think anybody's in here.
You just said nobody's paying rent to me.
It looks like nobody's paying rent because every door is shut.
Well, our door is shut.
No, but there's a stupid mannequin out there with a big bucket of candy.
So I know somebody's here.
You don't think that's odd, though?
Let me ask somebody else.
You don't think it's strange that he could walk in here as many times as he's walked in here and never noticed that there is somebody, there's a yarn like
a lunchboard sign?
It could possibly qualify him as the least observant person I've ever met.
Especially, yeah, because there is like one of those sandwich boards right out front.
Not to mention, like, there's, I think there's a sign on the wall.
And if you just, I mean, you've been coming here for years.
If you just glance down the hallway, you see the sign sticking off that says, and she noticed a computer guy.
I mean, I noticed that guy.
And she has a mannequin outside of her store as well.
I don't know if they're
going to be with us much longer.
They're one of the two that's.
My thing weren't in Airport Plaza.
I don't know how you stay in business with yarn.
That's the next thing.
Wow.
Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait.
The vitriol.
How much are you paying for rent here?
You got yarn people coming in.
Because people pay to have lessons with her to learn how to knit.
My wife, my daughter.
But you should have lessons to learn how to knit
fucking thermostats.
I can tell you right now,
Giddam has shown me all the people that are defunct on paying rent.
He's been able to look it up from the records in Monmouth County.
Yarn Lady is up to date.
Don't be smirched the Yarn Lady Sunday, Jeff, because her rent is $500.
Well, if your kid stops taking class,
does that put her out of business?
She's like, oh, that's that guy across the street.
I'm going to charge him $500 a lesson.
I can understand he didn't see the sign before, but recently she changed because now she does things called critter fitters, which is sweaters for things like
that.
She's right across the street.
No, she's around the corner.
She's right around the corner.
Across the street.
Across the hallway.
Jeff,
you shouldn't be allowed to drive, I don't think.
You really shouldn't.
Really?
You have no observational skills at all.
Stop.
A guy that needs a cup and a cane to basically walk around the earth.
Yeah, you can't see for shit, man.
What are you talking about, though?
But I know what's around my surroundings.
Because you come here every fucking day.
Even if I didn't, though, I would know that there's a yarn place.
Does it have anything?
There's a giant, giant
sign right out in front, the giant airport plastic sign?
Like when you're walking in over here
towards the bathrooms, like if you were if we were walking out right now and we take the left and there's a business on our right-hand side, you know, I thought that's like an accountant or something.
No, there's a translation guy.
Close, though.
Yeah.
Close, though.
HR, you know, immigration.
What's the fast food place in the
parking lot?
Quick.
KFC.
Boom.
All right.
All right.
A little less worry about you.
If you didn't get that right, I would have been like, we got to put you parking.
Yeah, I see things.
It's just like like a building, and I'm only coming here for this.
I have no idea, like, oh, look, there's a yarn lady.
I have no interest in it.
I would think if you see a sign with a chicken wearing a sweater and a guinea pig wearing a sweater, it would at least pique your interest.
No, there's a lot of stuff that doesn't pique my interest.
Critter fitters.
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All right.
So
if everyone was caught up, there was a boys' trip to Key West coming up.
It passed, didn't it?
A couple weeks ago.
Yeah.
It has since passed.
It was over
sort of the Halloween break, the 22nd to the 25th, something like that.
I'm leaving on that Sunday, which is the 22nd.
On
Thursday, one of our guys, Jiggy, who is supposed to go on the trip, has to bail out for personal reasons.
Personal reasons is he's a giant puss.
He wasn't going to see his wife for two weeks, so that became a whole thing.
Yeah, I know, right?
So I'm like, all right, he said, but maybe is because she has this, she had an interview, and he wasn't going to be able to see her that day.
And then he had back-to-back
weeks set up for stand-up, so that's why he wasn't going to see her for two weeks.
It was a whole thing.
So he backed out.
So now it's down to me and Q.
Until.
Uh-oh.
That's right.
Q backed out.
What?
Q backed out?
Q backed out.
Because Jiggy backed out?
Not because Jiggy backed out, because he got sick.
Oh, well.
But
I got all my plans made.
What am I going to do now?
I got hotels paid for.
I got flights paid for.
I got a rental car paid for.
My phone didn't ring.
I'm still going.
Your phone didn't ring because I quickly got online and
got my money back.
It did teach me, though.
It did teach me to buy that trip insurance.
No,
I had a whole bunch of jet blue points from over the years.
So Mary Beth went down with me.
So we made like a couple's trip out.
But then, so Q, and this is why I call it the
double puss out.
He did start to feel better, and he goes out for Halloween and gets sick again.
And that's why he's not here today.
Really?
Yeah.
This guy, his constitution.
We cut his health if he gets sick that much.
Yeah.
It's a lot of sickness.
Well,
there's a lot of viruses in the air, Sunday.
We're not fucking free of COVID yet.
Yeah, but how many times?
He's had COVID a lot, though, hasn't he?
He was specific to say it was not COVID.
Not this time.
I'm saying
he's had it many times.
I think he told me he had it 10 times.
Is that too many times?
I would think so in my book.
If he had 10 times.
It's only eight,
but still, I know he's had it a couple of times, at least two or three, right?
At least two or three.
Same with Sal.
I'm starting to think they sold their souls to the devil.
Well, they're for IJ to be
different beasts, though, than you than us.
I mean, they are going out to different cities, meeting, hugging people.
I thought he wasn't doing that.
That's what he's doing.
Oh, my God.
What are you talking about?
Those meet and greet tickets.
You ain't going to turn them down, COVID or not, man.
That's too much money to turn down.
Give
Oh, here comes number 10.
Got it in my mouth.
Yeah, so I ended up going down there with Mary Beth, and I'll talk about that next week.
It was a pretty good time.
Key West.
Two weeks?
Key West.
I've been to Key West.
Oh, about a week.
Yes, you have.
I am not impressed with Key West.
I am shocked.
It's a party time.
It was boring, I thought.
It was just like there wasn't much to do at all.
The beaches were dirty looking.
No Johnny Rockets.
Yeah, I was going to say, no Jenny's.
no Ponderosa,
no Sizzler.
There is one
downtown, there's one chain restaurant, and that's Wendy's.
Yeah,
not a Wendy's guy.
No, yeah, I was not impressed at all with Key West when I went.
Yeah.
I would never go back.
I'm not surprised.
I love it.
We went to the museum.
We went to the aquarium.
That museum?
How many times have you been to that museum?
It's like,
I think the TST Town General Store is a bigger,
like, has more to look at than the museum does at Key West.
I wouldn't disagree with that.
Well, you know what?
What kind of museum is it?
It's like a maritime museum
of
local history.
What's that?
It's aquatic, right?
Well, there's the aquarium, but the museum is...
Oh, I know which one you're talking about.
You're talking about like the Pirate Museum thing?
Yeah, no, that's a different one that we went to.
That one actually has way more than the museum that we went to.
The only reason reason we went to this other museum is because there's
supposedly the world's most haunted doll called Robert the Doll.
And he belonged to some kid way back in the early 1900s who, like, his parents went to England.
They brought him back this doll, which was like almost as big as he was.
And the kid started calling him Robert.
And the kid took on the name Gene.
So they're like, all right, what's the deal with this kid now?
But
for the rest of his life, the kid went by the name Gene so that Robert was self-aware,
acted really weird.
And now the doll is in this museum in Key West.
And it's said, the legend goes, that since he is the most haunted doll in the world, that there's certain protocol you have to follow if you're going to interact with him.
Like I watched a documentary about it prior to going
about the doll.
And there's a reenactment of people making faces at him and shit and acting all stupid, disrespecting him.
He doesn't like disrespect this doll.
So if you
if we could attach something like this to Crumpy for people who come for like, you know, pay 17 bucks a ticket.
Even if it's disrespect, if we don't know this, it's getting totally ignored.
Fuck it.
I don't give a shit.
Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.
Piss on Crumpy for a dollar.
Was it scary looking?
I mean, was it dolly creaky looking?
It's weird looking.
It doesn't, like, its facial features are very minimal, like very bare minimal.
And
one minute the eyes look in one way, the next minute the eyes are looking the other way.
Yeah, but you have to, like, you have to greet them.
You have to ask if it's okay to take a picture with them.
You have to.
Did you do any of this?
Oh, of course I did.
You fucking can.
Dude, I don't want to have protocol.
I was going to say, the Johnsons aren't always known for the rule following.
Good luck.
But all I'm saying is it's easier to do it.
Wow.
And walk away and not worry about being cursed.
Dude, I know.
It's like a text with the rainbows and the smiley faces and all that shit.
I realize it.
And as I'm doing it, I'm like, I'm embarrassed for myself.
Yes, I'm embarrassed.
But I'm going to do it anyway because I don't want any bad juju coming my way.
Whoa.
Oh, sorry, Sunday.
Yeah.
He's a good juju.
That's okay.
Okay, so you're telling, I got a question for both of you then.
Somehow, some way, the owner of, what's his name, Bad Robert?
Robert, Robert the Doll, yeah.
Robert the Doll is like, you can have it, and you're going going to give it, would you give it to Sage?
And would you have given it to your daughter when she was younger, Sunday?
Knowing the history of it.
I probably wouldn't, especially if it's like creepy looking.
You don't believe in anything.
You believe in everything.
It's not for me.
I wouldn't want to give my doll, you know, my daughter, a creepy doll.
But if it's creepy looking, I mean, if it looked like a regular, let's say she was given her American
girl dolls.
Those are creepy.
They're not creepy.
I mean, there's plenty of kids that like them.
They look just like the kids, right?
You would err on the the side of caution.
This is a haunted doll.
You know, I don't, do you believe in haunted dolls, first off?
No.
Okay.
So, but for the
just to play it safe, though.
Haunted yarn, ladies, that's what I believe.
What are you doing?
You would
not give your daughter the doll just to err on the side of caution, though.
Just in case there's that small chance that it's haunted.
If it was something that was like not so much the story behind it, but I'm saying if it was like you said, it's a creepy-looking doll, I wouldn't give my daughter, I wouldn't give her a crap.
He said it's not that creepy, though.
You know, if it just looked like a regular dog, I'd give it to her.
But you wouldn't say you would keep her in the dark about the
dog.
Yeah, she's making the face of Adam and shit.
He's slowly backing away.
They did have
repro dolls that you could buy there, so I bought one.
How is that not disrespecting Ronald?
He's not even getting cut.
I did repo, I thought it was Gary.
I did.
No, Robert.
Bruce.
Robert Robert.
Yeah, the kid's name is Gene.
Gene.
Robert Bruce.
Yeah, how is that not disrespecting?
What's his name again?
Robert?
Robert.
They asked permission.
He's on, yeah, I mean, he's on magnets.
They did a special edition of Robert Elf on the Shelf.
Don't you make a face at him?
Ask him if you're going to take a picture, and then you got to say thank you, goodbye.
And they have this.
They have this
TV that keeps playing all these different letters that people have written into Robert, apologizing, saying they've had bad luck, they didn't take it seriously, all this shit.
No, hundreds and hundreds and hundreds of letters.
The Brian Johnson.
We get those too when it comes to crumpy.
But the Brian Johnson, I know, would not fucking fall victim to that nonsense.
I know, I feel like I'm the guy that should have been making the faces, but I watched it, I got freaked out.
I do it to the replica.
I couldn't do it in Key West, but I'm like, do it now.
And were there other people there who were like partaking in this bullshit?
No, not that we saw.
It was only us in the whole museum.
I don't think it's the most popular site
on the island or the key or whatever.
Sunday, would you go through the motions and be like, hello?
I'd probably never even go to the museum.
Well, if you did.
There's nothing to do there, believe me.
You'd be dying to get it.
Let's go to that fucking see that creepy doll.
I never was at any museums.
I went snorkeling.
Well, let's say you went and you'd be like, yeah, you want to take my picture with this creepy doll.
Would you go through the
facade of like
have permission?
I would just take a picture and just go on my way.
You would thumb your nose.
What if you started having bad luck after that?
Bad shit started.
It's too late now.
You're already back in New Jersey.
What are you going to do?
Get back on a plane and go back?
Well, yeah, you could do that, or you can write a letter,
an apology letter.
Well, it depends on what kind of luck.
I mean, if you start to have like really a bunch of string of bad things, then you know,
yeah, like you get like three flats on the way to work, like three days days in a row, like that kind of shit, like real
like nuisance but annoying type shit.
I get hired by your company to work for you.
Yeah, you bought cheap tires, it's not a fucking doll's fault.
You bought cheap tires?
No, that's three flat tires.
Somebody told me to replace my tires three months ago.
He said they were bald.
I got no tires, they all went flat.
There's no way it's the fucking fault of a doll that you got three flats
because you drive too close to the curb.
Does he do that?
Yeah, I noticed that.
Oh, he's going over the curbs to get out of here.
I saw you hit three curbs.
He uses it when he parallel parks.
I don't test.
Is that why people honk at him all the time?
Next time I go out, I'm going to take a look at your rims.
I'm going to switch your rims with a climb.
They look like freaking laced potato chips, waffle style.
Oh,
when you're right, you're right, Walt.
Then you were right.
Halloween costumes?
How I'm like, you don't have to tell people this shit.
Yeah.
Turns out you do.
Yeah, somebody dressed up as
I saw it.
Oh, the rapper?
The submarine?
Oh, the rapper that was.
I saw the submarine.
I saw a double submarine.
Yeah, there's a rapper that dressed up as a tampon.
Yeah.
Shit, I did that years ago.
It was a little nos.
He stole that from me.
Little nos ripped me off.
Yeah, that's it.
But I don't believe that was.
I don't think that was on the list of don'ts on a Halloween costume.
I don't think that's really a tasteful costume.
No, no, I don't know if it's tasteful, but it wasn't on one of the do-not lists.
What's the
actors like Johnny Depp and Johnny Depp and Amber Heard?
Yep.
Shit's creepy.
Now,
this one wasn't from Good Housekeeping.
They didn't catch on to this one.
This was BuzzFeed.
And when I went back to check the articles
to see who had said it and what they had said about it, they just say don't dress up like them.
They don't have any of the reasoning, which
once the lady got a bunch of shit for it, I'm like, look, I don't think it's that big of a deal, but it seems like a lot of people do.
But
because what was the reasoning why it was a faux pas, though?
Because the trial.
It was Johnny Depp and Amber Heard.
You know, they went, oh, okay.
He doesn't know.
You don't know?
So, like, was it Johnny Depp as like Captain Jack Sparrow or just Johnny Depp as Johnny Depp in the courtroom?
I think it was Johnny Depp as Sparrow.
Oh, yeah.
They had a real abusive relationship.
I don't know.
I don't know.
Okay, and she shit in his bed.
Did you know that?
You knew that?
No, I know all this stuff.
Wow.
I didn't know there was a yarn store, but I know who's shitting on whose bed.
Dog stepped on a bee.
What?
She said on the street.
Oh, yeah.
He's like, oh, dog stepped on a bee.
Yeah, they like it.
They started rambling on
smuggled their dogs into Australia or something, and they had to apologize for that.
Like, that was when they were getting.
Well, you can't bring your dogs into Australia?
Well, you can, but there's a quarantine period, and they took a private jet, so they ignored the quarantine period.
Oh,
that's what movie stars do, though.
You can't expect
it.
But you would act like they took a shit on the steps of parliament or whatever the fuck it is that they have in Australia because the way Johnny Depp is so like
he's just beating himself up.
He's like, you know,
I don't know if they're trolling because they're that apologetic.
I'm like, there's no way they could be serious about this.
Well, if they don't, I think they get booted, right, Jeff?
Down there?
Where?
In Australia?
They get that giant boot to they kick him with?
Oh, like in the Simpsons.
It's a Simpsons joke?
Yeah, it has to be.
Yeah, it's a Simpsons reference.
So Emily Hampshire, the actor best known for playing Stevie Budd on the award-winning series Shit's Creek.
Ever see a Sunday, Jeff?
No.
I highly recommend it.
You ever see it?
You saw it?
Well, I've heard of it.
Oh, yeah.
Q loves it, too.
She posted a deleted photos of her costumes, which ignited outrage on social media.
She
appeared to sport fake tattoos as Depp and wore a suit that closely resembled the one that the pirates, oh, the pirates of the Caribbean store star wore during his highly publicized 2022 libel trial against her.
So he was dressed as courtroom Johnny Depp.
Okay.
And
she's deeply sorry and ashamed for putting something that awful out in the universe.
Domestic abuse is never, ever funny.
Now, here's the thing that I was wondering.
If they
if the trial was not about the
domestic abuse, abuse, it was about the dog, for example.
Is it okay to go dressed as them then?
Or is it just somebody was like, oh, I got him?
Don't go dressed as them because of the domestic abuse angle.
I don't know.
I just don't know what the fallout is that she's so worried about that she's like, I got to apologize about this.
What is the repercussions really?
In the real world,
what is she going to lose out on?
A roll, does she think, though, because of this?
Because of people.
Probably.
You think that producers of a show or a movie are going to be like, oh, we were thinking about hiring her, but you know what?
She dressed up as Donny Depp.
No way.
I don't know.
Today's day and age, I wouldn't say that's true.
People get pretty spiteful.
Yeah, it depends.
I mean, because Johnny Depp is still a powerful guy, so it's like if he catches wind of it and then he's like, don't hire her on any of my projects or whatever.
Okay,
I could see on his projects.
Brett or hers, if she ever does anything again.
Yeah, I don't know.
To me, I'm just like, and this, okay, do you think the apology is going to make it so now she can work on Johnny Depp, potential Johnny Depp projects?
I think you're right.
I think the damage is done, and people are like, hey, not cool.
Lie low for fucking two days at the most.
At the most.
Yep.
Because somebody's going to dress up like a tampon or somebody's going to dress up like the submarine.
Yeah,
the new star celebrity is going to do something stupid that's going to take the heat off you.
If there even was any heat, real heat, anyway.
It's internet heat.
heat and that's what i hate is that when these news outs are like the internet is in a is in a rage over something and what is it it's like twitter is an outrage about this yeah it's like oh something
someone's reply got 50 000 likes or 5 000 likes that means that the internet is enraged
it's no there's no effort to press the like button but like back in the day if you had a problem with a show you had to go find the address you typed up a letter, you mailed it to the, you know, to the to this network, and someone read it, that's outrageous like you, you have that much.
Is there dislike buttons?
Can you do it?
No, no, no, they've got rid of the dislike buttons.
So you can only go one way.
The dislike buttons are only one way you can ride.
The dislike buttons were gotten rid of because they made people feel bad.
So we had to get rid of the dislike buttons.
You could put like an angry emoji face.
That's about as far as you can go.
I'm ready to go see Robert.
Yeah.
Get
Forever.
I'm going to hang out with him for a week.
I was also wondering, like, on their list of good housekeeping and buzzfeed, on their list of, hey, these are the do-not-do's of Halloween costumes.
I was in spirit of Halloween.
Why is it okay?
It's not okay to go after Amber Heard and Johnny Depps.
It's not okay to make fun of a fat person.
It's not okay to do this or that.
But any Catholic imagery, like if you could be an evil priest, you can be a slutty nun.
You can be any number of religious things, like specifically Catholic
things.
Why is that?
Why is those sexy costumes there?
Yeah, why is that?
Did you see the Bible with the flask inside and the two shot glasses?
I looked at it.
I'm like, why is this part of a costume?
It's an exorcism.
No, no, no.
It was a flask for drinking and shot glasses, not like a bottle of holy water.
And I'm just, I looked at me and I'm like, it just seemed out of place.
Yeah, I don't know.
What do you think, Sunday?
Why is it okay to go after the Catholics?
I'm not personally offended, but if I was a Catholic, I'd be like, I don't get it.
I don't know.
Okay.
All right.
That's what people want to hear.
That's a request.
I mean, I've been in a Halloween shop for God knows how long.
You don't go in the spirit of Halloween with your 20% off coupon?
I took my daughter, you know, probably about three years ago, I took her to get a costume there.
And, you know, to me, they all look like they're all cookie cutter costumes.
They're all in the same plastic bags.
It's always like sexy witch, sexy devil, or whatever for the women.
And then men have the same thing.
They have the same generic costumes.
It'll be like a joker.
You know, it's all the same shit.
I mean, some of their props and stuff are pretty cool, like the smoke machines, the fog machines, and stuff like that.
And some of that stuff is pretty cool.
But I don't know.
I just like, I don't see the, you know, it's just not the same.
No, I agree with that.
Not the same.
No.
I get people this year didn't even have fucking costume coming to my house.
I was like, what are you?
They're just wearing a jersey.
They're just wearing a football jersey.
Like, we're just like, on the way home from practice.
Are you going home?
Are you going to the game?
Now, there's something, I don't know if you've noticed this, is that more and more and more where you're getting doorbell cameras.
And every year, you see more and more videos of people coming up because people just leave the bowl of candy outside because they can't be
either not home or they can't be bothered anymore.
They don't want the doorbell to upset their dog or wake up the baby or something.
Or something like that.
There's plenty of good reasons why you you put the bowl out there.
Yeah, it's not out of laziness.
I didn't say that.
You were getting here.
No, I wasn't.
I'm sleeping with the bowl outside.
There's a bowl of candy out there on Manny Quinn, and you know, people can come by and take candy whenever they want.
But
it's the people who just run up and just empty.
Did you see that video?
I've seen that video.
I've seen all the other videos.
And it just baffles me that people don't seem to realize that it's going to get released.
More and more people have, again, doorbell cameras and the such.
But then I'm like,
do they consider that?
And do their friends even care?
The people you're talking about did not appear to consider that.
If you're talking about the same video I saw, which is like these...
two or three moms just like crashing through the kids to get to the bowl with the biggest smiles on their faces.
They couldn't be more happy to be robbing this candy bowl.
And they're having their kids do it too.
Yeah, well, the kids at first were like, they looking at them like, are we supposed to be doing this?
This is what we're doing now?
Okay.
Yeah.
And then they just dig in and they're just so happy to be double fisting candy.
You know,
there before the grace of God, I mean, if I saw a bowl and it was always like those nice big, fat, Nestle crunch bars, you know, the big ones.
Well, your eyes are pretty open right now.
I might just empty that sucker out, man.
I might just put it all in my bag, though.
You'd wear the ball on my head on the ball.
No, you wouldn't, because after you ate the first one, you would say the others ones are too old and you're not going to eat them now.
You shouldn't eat all that.
But like I said,
do their friends see it and call them out or do their friends see them and they just be like, yeah, you go.
Well, it depends.
Okay.
We're walking around and you find your giant crunch bowl bowl of your giant bowl of crunch bars.
Am I saying, Walt, no.
I don't think that's right.
I think that is the risk you take.
If you put a bowl of candy out there,
there's a very good chance some teenagers are going to run up on that bowl and take
the whole bowl.
And you've got to live with that.
Okay, but that's part of the risk of putting a bowl out there.
You don't want to answer the doors.
You've got other risks.
You've got teenagers.
Teenagers are stupid.
Kids are stupid.
I think adults are stupid too, though.
Yeah, we saw that.
We saw it in that video.
So there's stupid people out there.
They're going to do it.
You have to be good with that.
You have to be able to live with that and not be outraged because somebody emptied the bowl.
My thing, though, my thing is.
Maybe they don't have enough money.
They got to make this candy last longer than just one night.
Now it's hot.
What are they going to think he deserves?
This is the most kind and gentle Walt Flanagan I've ever seen.
He just said he was going to steal all the crunch water before this.
I'm just saying, it's like that's part of the risk you take.
If you don't want to go through the motions of opening the door every time someone rings it, you're not just lazy.
They're not just lazy.
Yeah, yeah.
Sometimes it is, though.
It could just be like, you know what?
And I'm just getting up and down.
Does he leave the bowl of candy?
Yeah, I did leave the bowl out there.
But I was saying, before ring cameras, right?
Yeah.
You put the candy out, you go to sleep at night, come home with this empty bowl.
You would never know if everybody.
Exactly.
I left it out for the kids.
If somebody wants to come and glam the fucking thing and be a scumbag, all right.
Go for it.
He's an asshole.
But you know what?
If everybody got a piece of candy, I feel good.
But you know what?
You'll never know.
You'll never know.
Okay, so
you turn on like News 12 News.
Okay.
And you see Walt Flanagan stealing the entire basket of candy.
And he's by himself.
He's not even with his girl.
Yeah, yeah.
He's not even with his girl.
So he's just got socks under his arms, got a parent mask on.
Pushes it up, looks around, pushes it back down.
Do you give him hell for it?
Or do you chastise him at all?
I don't chastise him.
I seriously, I'm like, dude, what happened?
In the world we live in, but all the fucking
horrible shit that is going on in the world, this is the least of the shit that deserves your attention or outrage.
Exactly.
The atrocities that are going on on the planet right now, if someone takes a fucking extra box of good and plenty, this is the fundamental stuff.
This is the stuff you worry about here.
This is the stuff you're worried about here.
But it's not just an extra box.
This was pretty much an entire full bowl.
Someone takes a full bowl of good and plenty.
Who cares?
And it means other kids are big getting deprived of it.
Well, they'll go on to the next house.
They're not deprived of candy.
And they're like, shit, I wish I got here sooner so I could have taken it all.
Yes.
Is it worth taking a bowl of candy or messing with a thermostat?
One's really causing, could be causing fine, could cause your rent to go up because of higher heating and air conditioning bills.
Yeah, it could.
Yeah, we're going to have to start subsidizing everybody who's not paying.
Jesus.
That's right.
You might want to get some people in here.
So say they can't blame us for the thermostat, so we're in the right.
Tell them, Steve, Dave.
No, too soon.
Too soon.
Still too soon.
First, we got to talk boners Sunday, Jeff.
Yeah, right?
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So since I had
a lot of
Key West stuff prepared and then Q didn't show up today, I didn't really have anything.
So I just have notes here.
Like, oral sex is worse than smoking Sunday, Jeff.
For your health?
For throat cancer.
Oh, yeah, we learned that from Michael Douglas.
Yeah, Michael Douglas is a prime example.
He should be, you know, doing PSAs.
Yeah, I think he is.
This young doctor says, oral sex is a greater factor than smoking in the development of throat cancer.
Now, this is where it starts to fall apart after the first sentence.
She made the declaration in a viral TikTok video, despite the American Cancer Society citing tobacco as the number one risk factor for the illness.
I would think that that was probably more accurate, I would think.
Are we talking men or women, or both?
I think men.
They're saying, yeah, because of the Michael Douglas thing, the American Society does cite oral sex as one potential cause of throat cancer, given that the human papillomavirus.
Papillomavirus.
Papillomavirus.
HPV.
Yes.
He needs to reel up on that, man.
What's going on?
That's his go-to move.
So he really doesn't want to.
Oh, he says he has it.
No, no, no.
Oh, no, no.
No, no, no.
But that's his.
He lies about not having it.
What's going on?
I am not afraid of it.
I am willing to go down there despite the risks.
But that's his.
He claims to be the best at it.
He is TSD Town's linguist.
Cunning linguist.
Cunning linguist.
I didn't want to get fucking that
on the money, on the nose.
Which ones are he licking?
Well, I mean, the ones that
he has, though,
all have left pretty pleased, he tells me.
Yeah.
Very, you know, like.
Return customers.
I don't think they returned.
Well, they did for a little i mean they didn't stick around for the long run but you know they were they more than one it was never just once right it's it's not do you have any on your resume that were just there for one one-offs nothing you know like hit it and a one a two a three
so you you can say with all honesty you know that you've had
it's always been multiple, you know, excursions.
Oh, yes, definitely.
Yeah, so yeah, so he
puts his money where his mouth is, though.
He's willing to take the risk
and get the get all the nasty diseases that may come with it.
All right, well, this is one of them.
She is happy.
It says here that
it usually goes away on its own within two years.
I didn't know that.
Most people don't realize they have it, meaning they can unwittingly spread the disease.
Men are more likely to develop throat cancer performing oral sex on women, as women are more likely to carry the virus in their genital area.
So, get him, if you're as
accomplished as you say, you should have one of those stomas in at this point, right?
Yeah,
I
hello.
That's why he grew the beard so long.
You see, he has a nasty fucking gnarly hole.
Oh, he's just a big hole in his neck,
pussy juice dripping out of it.
Yeah, I got that technology that Roger Ebert had.
Duplicates my voice.
13 million new cases a year, Giddam.
You could be one of them.
That's a lot of cases.
Yeah.
I'm willing to take that chance.
This doctor is advising men to wear condoms if they are receiving oral sex.
Yeah, hello.
Why bother?
Yep.
Most people said that, or like, get them.
They said that
they don't care.
They say that until they get it, though.
It was the same as with COVID, right?
What the fuck.
When COVID's like, I'm not wearing a mask.
I'm not doing this.
I'm not doing that.
And then they get it, and they're like, oh, shit.
Now I'm in the hospital making viral videos.
No pun intended.
I tried it with a dental dam once, and it was like chewing on a glove.
It was not enjoyable at all.
Don't you want video of that?
No, even I don't.
What year would this have been?
In college.
So
what made you, was it you who was like, introduced this?
Like, hey, you know what, honey, tonight I'm going to use this because
I care about my health and yours.
We had one of those like clinics in the college.
So they gave this stuff away.
Yeah.
So I was like, well, let me try it maybe it's it maybe it'll help maybe it won't help
how did your partner feel
she wanted it without yeah really she didn't care about your throat health this wasn't as much of an issue back then like it wasn't an issue
you know what good glad you don't you're not fucking pleasing her no more she didn't care about you
She didn't care about how you were going to fucking.
Look at his fucking elbow.
You're worried about his fucking throat.
I mean, again, is things starting to to grow?
I thought it was the other arm.
It looks like in a cartoon when somebody hits another character on the head with a mouth.
There's a lot of oils in the elbow.
Yeah, and that lump goes up with the little hairs on it.
The bird look at Don Martin from Mad.
Now, what is that again?
That's
pursitis, persitis.
Okay.
No biggie.
No biggie.
Oh, it's big.
That's what my throat looks like.
He just hasn't drained it this week.
Oh, that's it?
Seriously, turn around and look at this.
I know, that's your growth chart, right?
Yeah, yeah.
That's crazy.
In 2021, researchers discovered that people with 10 or more oral sex partners were more than four times more likely to develop the HPV-related mouth and throat cancers.
Okay, so it's multiple people.
It's not with the same person all the time so far, right?
Right.
So the question is: get them.
Was it more than 10 ladies that you've pleased in your life?
In my life.
10 or more.
Eight or nine?
So you should go right down to that clinic right now and tell them, like, you know, like, I've been eating too much pussy.
Make sure you're half crying, like, like, wall tested.
I don't know what to do.
Somebody help me.
Look at my elbow.
Doc, please.
I don't know about that.
Well, how many, like, there's, how many porn actors are out there?
They've been doing this for how many years?
They probably are all shotted up, though.
Yeah, still, they're multiple partners, multiple women.
I would do multiple, you know, there is an HPV HPV vaccine, so they're probably the females and the males have the
vaccine then, right?
Yeah.
And lick away.
Yeah, it says that it carry on.
The current guidance in the U.S.
advises 11 and 12-year-olds to receive two doses of the HPV vaccine, but individuals from the ages of 9 to 26 are approved to receive it.
And I think the only reason they're stopping at like 26 is because they say
most of the shenanigans are taking place under the.
I think they do.
Is that the one for uterine cancer?
Teens.
Is that that shot?
It can lead to cervical cancer in the second.
I think a lot of the kids get that.
I don't know.
When it first came out, it was a huge debate about it because
they thought it was encouraging kids to have sex.
The vaccine.
Yeah, yeah.
But they were just streaming out trying to stop people from getting cancer.
What else do I got here?
Oh, this is a couple weeks ago.
Ming was really taken with someone shitting on the con floor.
Oh, yeah, I heard about that.
Which con?
New York Comic.
New York Comic Con.
Didn't he hear about that?
No, I did not hear about that.
Yeah, Ming had my buddy E-Rock was there, and he was like on the scene.
He took pictures of it on the floor.
He was in front of Ming.
Ming could not post enough that it was Mike that had done it.
I don't even think Mike was at the show.
Oh, no, he was there.
Oh, was he?
Yeah, he was
doing something with some
collaborative new comic
publisher.
Okay, so then Ming's theory could ring true.
Yeah, he said it was he saw Chris Heaven and got way too excited.
Now,
if you had to create somehow, you had to fill in the gaps, fill in the holes of how this happened, what's the only way that makes sense that somebody does that?
Just had an emergency to make it to the bathroom.
I don't understand why.
I put your pants down and listen to the people.
Yeah, I mean, how many people, I mean, that's just as, if not busier, than the San Diego con now.
It's huge.
So it's just like, you know, how do you
know that?
How do you not shut down the con, though, with that kind of like biohazard going on?
Yeah, there's a lot of business.
Manage rolling.
It's strange, isn't it?
I thought the same thing.
I was like, I'm surprised they didn't clear out that whole area.
Right?
Yeah, maybe they just rope it off.
Conversation piece.
Rope it off, you know, that's all.
Clean it up, mop it down with some bleach.
Let me see if I can.
I mean, they're going to have to clean it up eventually.
I'll hope it's sooner than eventually.
Con must go on, bro.
Who's that job, though?
Janitor?
Somebody who does obviously any kind of.
You know, the janitors didn't come to work that day
knowing
everything
ever.
Well, look, they clean bathrooms, too.
I mean, there's no shit on the floor.
There's no like explosive diarrhea in bathrooms either.
I'm sure they clean that, too.
Yeah, but
I've been on the parkway.
You've done it on a turnpike.
Some of those bathrooms look like fucking war zones.
You've seen pictures from the not-so-super bowl.
I have, and it makes always, you know,
I just wonder how there's any janitors who ever show up to work.
Those guys should get paid a lot of money.
Yeah, those guys deserve to fuck.
Well, you know what?
You know, these hundred million dollar quarterbacks.
You know, fucking Brady's.
Does the
Brady shit in my mouth?
Does the Taylor Swift stuff bother you guys?
Are you fans of the teams that she likes?
I see it the first time.
Like, I get it, but now it's like whatever game she, I mean, whatever, if they're on any kind of like national TV that I can see them, like every game that I've been able to see, she's on.
They always show her like if he scores or he catches, you know, it's like, but you know what?
Something works because they're just selling tons of jerseys now.
So somehow or another, somebody's making financial profit out of all this.
And Swifties will tune in if they feel that they're going to show a picture of her that no one else has.
Oh, they showed her.
I mean, plenty of times.
Yeah.
Yeah.
I mean, it's always.
I mean, it's like, whatever.
You know.
They harass the guards at the stadium.
By the end of the year, maybe they're not dating and it's all over.
It's the next thing.
What's the next thing?
But it does seem like she'll have some more songs to write about.
It does seem like it's been a good bump for the NFL, though, no?
I mean, if you can get a fan base like that behind
watching a sport that they would otherwise never do.
Never do the halftime show.
No, I believe she says she won't do it.
Like she's been offered.
She's been offered multiple times and she won't do it.
I can't remember the reason why.
I do feel it's like.
over the top.
It's not constant, but they do definitely take some shots.
You know,
they don't show it when the other team's getting, they're beating up on Kansas City.
If they are beating up, they won't show them, but then you don't see her sour face.
That really happens, though.
She wasn't at the loss they had last week, though, at Denver.
No, is that the kind of thing where some people are like, come on, bitch.
Like, you got to be there.
Like, we're winning with you there.
Well, because people are
superstitious, right?
I heard that the stadium was
they played Shake It Off after they lost as kind of a taunting.
Yeah, kind of like a little trolling.
Yeah, yeah.
I feel it's
a little overboard, and
I don't get it.
I just don't get how that could be that
financially beneficial.
I can't believe it.
Increases viewership.
I understand, but it it just doesn't.
Viewership is increased viewership is
more ad revenue.
But it's a temporary.
Let's say I was super into KISS or whatever.
Oh, when they played the half-time show?
Or no, let's say that Paul Stanley or Gene was dating somebody
that
Dallas cheerleaders.
I don't even know that.
Let's say that for whatever reason, they're showing up
in the press box at a football game.
There's no way on the planet, though, that I would stay home and try to just get one glimpse of it.
There's more.
like, there's more.
Yo, that doesn't make any sense.
Christine, it doesn't make any sense to me.
But would you,
would you,
if Kiss was playing at the Giant Stadium,
would you sit out on the shoulder of the highway just for a chance to hear music coming from the stadium?
And these are adults that are joining us, or these are teenagers?
I'm not sure the demographic.
They're definitely Swifties, though.
Yeah, to me.
Wait, just knowing that she's in the building, people are just hanging around
the stadium?
Yes.
Yes.
For a chance to see them leaving.
Well, they did do it.
I remember the one time it was a convertible or whatever.
He left with her mother or something.
Yeah.
There was the best line, though.
I forgot about this.
I guess it's Travis Kelsey's, the football player.
His father
or his uncle or something
released this like he was doing an interview and he said that, you know, she's a really nice girl.
I don't think anybody noticed, but at the end of the game, when everybody was clearing out of the press box, she actually went around and she picked up everyone's bottle and put it in the garbage can.
Who's a diva now?
He goes.
And I was just like, can you imagine
ever giving someone a compliment like that unless they were a singer, though, or unless they were a quote-unquote celebrity?
Like, if, like, if
you were at the game and you went around and cleaned up everyone's bottles and put them in the proper recycling bin, nobody would give a fuck.
There's a big pile of shit at Comic-Con if you clean them up.
I'm going going to disagree with you there because it's like a common thing for like during the Olympics, the Japanese fans at the end of the matches would go through and help clean the stadium up.
Wait, no, no, no, no.
The press, but the press isn't writing an article about it.
They were.
I read the article.
The same level as this Travis Kelsey's father's quote that I saw on multiple platforms that, like, you know, Travis Kelsey's father is, you know, what a sweet girl.
It's just called cleaning up after cleaned up.
I don't know.
Well, she's not cleaning up after herself.
She's cleaning up after everybody else.
Yes.
Yeah.
That could be very purposeful, too.
Of course.
Calculate it.
I don't know.
Again, it's the same thing.
I go back to Alan Comic Book Men when
we're shooting a scene with Gene Simmons and Paul Stanley wants to get into the room where the catering is and he doesn't come into the room until we're done with the scene and everybody is literally falling all over themselves.
Because can you believe Paul Stanley?
Like
he didn't cause a pitch of fit or give attitude when he said we had to wait for two seconds.
And I'm just like, what the fuck?
Why are they expected to act differently than everybody else?
Not just differently, but like total assholes.
Because
that's what some people are like.
I know, but it is weird, though, like, how impressed we are when someone just does the right thing, though.
Because you're so not expecting it, especially from a superstar.
Who's earned billions of dollars on this one tour alone.
Yeah, I guess you're right.
I guess we just should have fucking held a parade when Paul Stanley decided he could wait two seconds to have a fucking chocolate-covered strawberry
who ate all the chocolate-covered strawberries.
Mink's got a whole
fucking clown with chocolate all over it.
These are yours?
Oh, shit.
Oh, have some strawberries.
Make the delicious
no, Sunday.
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Now, get them.
Yes.
This would benefit you, I think, something like this.
Because you could keep your beard nice and shaped.
You know, I know how you like to straighten it.
I know how you like to manicure it and coiffer.
Yeah.
You know, so you can shave your balls.
Yeah, and then you can shave your balls after you shave your face, or vice versa.
And, like,
Jeff, what like
guard do you use on like your head?
Guard?
Yeah, like size guard.
Do you just go
clean and then
you let it grow in for a little bit?
Oh, me,
I can't shave every day.
Otherwise, I'll just, I'll get, like, my skin will just get.
No, I'm talking your head.
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And then there's one more story I wanted to talk about real fast in honor of Q.
Handyman.
Former Staten Island landfill will feature public park with soil replenished by human feces.
What?
Yeah.
That's what they're saying.
A portion of the former fresh kills landfill in Staten Island has been turned into parkland, and the soil will be replenished by composted human feces flushed from a solar power restroom.
I mean, can these guys
probably wouldn't release that?
I probably would just do that, you know,
under the water.
Yeah,
I wouldn't tout that so much.
Who's going to show up to play in that?
It's like watching the space shuttle launch.
Like, why can't you just say, like, hey, you know what?
We're building a park.
Yeah, nobody's impressed by the recycled and composted feces
uh so mayor adams says the waste from the composting restroom will go back into feeding our soil so we're going to turn crap into energy adam's quip was met with guffaws from surrounding elected officials it's not that funny like just say it's going to be composted don't tell them exactly where just say it's going to be composted it's going to be recycled composted it's it's it's going to be great
that's that's a rough one you know is that happening like is that common others parks are like playing in shit in the park.
Like, do you think that's
the standard now?
Is that like if you go to like these new any new parks that are built, do you think that that's what the soil is composed of?
No, a lot of these parks have like this, like, rubber mat and stuff that's on there.
They have like the almost the same stuff that the material that's in
the field on the NFL.
Yeah, it's got all those rubber pellets and shit.
So, who the hell knows what the hell?
They could be mad out of shit.
My kid could be rolling around in shit like a pig.
Well, that was a
there's one of your clips.
Yeah, for sure.
That was actually an issue because previously they were using recycled tires, and a lot of the toxins and stuff from the tires were getting released.
Really?
Yeah.
So they had to switch to make it more clean, less toxicky.
Had plastic bottles, too, instead.
But you never, like, the thing that caught my article, caught my eye with this article, is like, you never see, like, Manhattan Park is going to be fed by human feces.
It's always Staten Island that's like has to do with garbage or feces
or landfills.
Well, is it possible that you're just not building new parks in Manhattan?
Where could be?
Yeah.
Where could you build one?
They got huge parks because Central Park's huge.
Yeah, I doubt someone's knocking down an apartment building to put in a park.
That's right.
You put a shit park here.
I think real estate's a little bit more money
worth more.
The garbage dump is so expansive and prominent that it was captured in images from outer space.
Yeah, I think we knew that.
A car gets captured in images from outer space.
I didn't know this.
Two-thirds of Staten Islanders voted to secede from the Big Apple in 1993 in a 1993 non-binding referendum.
They don't want to be part of the city no more, huh?
Yeah, because they were tired of the city bringing their garbage and dumping it in there and
treating them like the assholes that they think.
It's understandable.
Yeah, yeah.
But I mean, it's still happening to this day, 2023, and they're like, hey, that park we're making for you guys, yeah, the ground's going to be all dog shit.
Not even,
but it's not white dog shit.
Yeah, you,
the uh, look at those
vents popping, you know, pumping out cold air.
It's working.
It's only because he wasn't afraid today because the yarn lady's not here.
He can't hear the air going through the vent.
It's nice and cool in here, right?
It's better.
Much better.
There you go.
Better go out there and change before the yarn lady comes up.
Why is it so cold in here?
So, big, big, before we go, I want to talk about Black Friday weekend.
Okay.
Gonna have
the tradition, keep it up with opening up on Thanksgiving night, but not doing any crazy hours this time.
I think it's gonna go 10 to 12.
10 to 12 p.m.
Two hours?
Just two hours.
Well, I think it was two hours last year.
It was 12 to 2 last year.
No, it was 24.
We were open for 24 hours straight.
Oh, that's right, because you were here.
Yeah.
Yeah, I kind of regret that.
Especially when I ran into the two Canadian Indians.
Oh, those guys?
Oh, I love them.
Yeah.
I was changing my pants and they just opened up the door and I'm standing there in my underwear.
Oh, that's right.
And one Lindsay Dixon got to catch a glimpse of your meat, right?
Wasn't that?
Yeah, yes.
No, no, well, no, no, no.
I had underwear on.
I'll bet you if she had known that, like, you were willing to get HPV, she would have taken you up on it.
Maybe.
See, oh, the fuck.
And then on Black Friday, we will open from 11 to 6.
And
Saturday, I believe 11 to 6 as well.
And here are some of the people I have confirmed who will be appearing.
Some of the TSD town residents, myself, Gidum, I'm sure Brian will be there.
Of course.
Q will not be there.
I've already asked him, and he is going away for Thanksgiving.
Oh, he's going away in Thanksgiving.
So he will not be there.
But
I'm using those joking points now.
Frank Five will be here.
Wow.
I don't know about Thanksgiving night, though.
I don't know if I think you can only count on me, get him, and Bry Thanksgiving night, but Friday, Frank Five, Jimmy the Hare guy is going to be here.
And
exclusive, first time ever appearing at the general store on Black Friday weekend between the hours of 3.30 and 6.
Mr.
Sunday Jeff has agreed to come down on Black Friday.
I was prepared to be totally underwhelmed, and now I'm like, wow.
I thought you were going to say Tom or somebody.
Sunday, Jeff
is going to press some flesh, right?
Sure.
You know what that means, right?
Mix and mingle.
Yeah.
There you go.
Shake hands.
And
kiss the baby.
And this invitation is open to all CST Town residents.
If Ming wants to stop by, Chris LaDondo, anybody who's anybody.
Yeah, but those are my
confirmed members, though.
I know Jimmy's going to be here.
Frank is going to be here.
Buck yeah.
And Sunday on Friday only.
Friday only appearance.
It's like a con.
Yeah.
Yeah.
What's going to be available on the picture on the website?
One day only.
Sunday, Jeff.
Sit on the floor.
Yeah.
Please, if you have to use the bathroom, ask us for the key.
We will let you use the bathroom.
It's not a magnet.
Office manager.
We will have two new pieces of merch, a a new hat, and a new t-shirt.
That's it.
Exclusives?
Not exclusives.
They'll be on the website, too, at midnight.
Will there be anything else special that they may be able to buy?
Let's leave it at that.
Get them.
It's all special, get them.
Okay, okay.
Let's not get specific.
Okay.
When you start promising things that can be done.
I'm not promising.
All the way from Vancouver.
I'm not promising specific things.
I'm just saying.
Don't promise anything.
Okay.
Just promise that you'll be around.
Oh, I will.
That's all you got to be worried about then.
Yes.
And I'll be wearing wearing pants most of the time.
Are you going to be wearing the office manager outfit?
No.
No.
No.
People love that.
I volunteered to wear the turkey outfit.
Oh, okay.
You're going to wear the turkey outfit?
Yes.
Okay.
It's going to be 80 degrees again that time.
You'll be dressed as a turkey all weekend.
Yeah, if I could find a costume, yes.
Oh, I'll find one.
You have a turkey hat.
I have a turkey hat, but no, I said
I would wear a turkey costume.
What's it?
Boom.
Wait, make them wear a costume?
There's an office manager costume?
There's a uniform.
You know how like
a manager in baseball
wears a baseball uniform.
Isn't that the weirdest tradition though?
Like of all the coaches in all the professional sports, the only one who walks around in a uniform, a 75-year-old man with a big
fucking beer belly, not you, get him.
Are the coaches who look so ridiculous in a baseball uniform, don't they?
But like football, you don't see them wearing
a fucking helmet.
I don't know why.
a good question and shoulder pads.
I think it would look definitely weird, though, if they were dressed in a suit, though.
It wouldn't fit baseball, though.
You would look at it and be like, but you know what?
I see the coaches, too.
They lax.
They're not like Tom Landry was, or they're walking around with like sweatshirts now and everything else.
But don't wear suits anymore.
No.
No, hockey, yes.
Hockey.
Hockey, they still respect the sport with his football.
Well, could you imagine, you know, like if
Felishek in a fucking, it is fucking shoulder pads.
They got rough, lifted rough in a jersey.
It'd be like freaking the longest yard.
But, you know, I think I like this idea, though.
Like, every year you wear a new costume.
The problem with the office manager outfit is like the
legs on the pants are so high because you're supposed to be wearing like these socks, it cuts into my leg.
And like I have like these red bands around both legs for like the next three days.
It's like sausage.
Yeah, and it gets itchy like while I'm wearing it, and you can't pull it up any higher and you can't definitely pull it down.
It's it's yeah, it's just because of your ample fucking
calves.
Is that the Abben Costello costume though?
Yeah, no, no, no, no, no, no, this is a different one, yeah, that's different.
That's nice and loose, yeah.
Well, wear that one instead.
All right, so now I gotta, when we sign off here, I gotta go look for a fucking turkey costume.
Gobble, gobble, tell them Steve Dave then.
