#574: The Doffening

1h 11m
Q attends a gala, crazy revenge, calling people lazy, taking on demons. Enter to win a Four Color Demons guitar!- www.tellemstevedave.com/amsgiveaway

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Transcript

I apologize once again.

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So, if you want to enter to win, go to tellemstevedave.com/slash AMS Giveaway.

There's no purchase necessary, it ends October 31st, 2023.

And you can find it if you need to go on Twitter or whatever, hashtag AMS Giveaway.

So, enter now before it's too late.

What happened to white dog shit?

Or fuck you, go get your shoes.

While you're getting pegged, maybe you have to call your mom and wish her like a

wish her like a happy Halloween

Halloween while it's going on

Tell him Steve Dave hello and welcome to this week's edition of Tell him Steve Dave.

I'm here with Walt.

Hello.

And here via Zoom

BQ.

Zoom.

Zoom.

Yeah, but Zoom.

Zoom.

Yeah.

Is it pouring rain in Jersey?

It is like wrath of God rain here.

Holy shit.

When I started out here, it was not raining.

When I got here, it was pouring so fucking hard that I came in.

I'm like, I'm just going to get drenched.

It's just the way it is.

That's nuts.

It's disgusting.

There was an event I was supposed to go today called a train wreck.

You ever hear about a train wreck?

I have not.

Okay.

It's when you take, like on Staten Island, we have one train line that goes from one end of the island down to the other to the ferry terminal.

And what you do is you get on the train all the way at the end, like in Tottenville.

You hit a bar, you have a drink or two, you get on the train, you go a couple of stops to the next one, get off, go to the bar there.

It's like a train bar crawl.

Gotcha.

And it's called a train wreck.

And it was something like 20 guys from my firehouse are going today.

I looked outside at that fucking rain.

I was like, nah.

Have a good time, guys.

Yeah, I was like, fuck you.

So they're all out there getting soaking wet right now.

Yeah, it's going to be a lot of fun.

You walked something similar recently.

It was a chocolate walk.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

I went on a chocolate crawl.

Yeah.

I'm not really into chocolate, but

it was

as exciting as it sounds.

Yeah.

There was nothing to it that you were like, oh, all right.

No.

There was no flea market at the end.

It was in this small little town in Pennsylvania, and the whole town, almost all the businesses in the town,

it's like a Red Bank on steroids.

It's bigger than Red Bank, but it's that quaint small town with a lot of stores.

And I'd say about 80% of the stores participate.

And you just walk in, you pay, it was nuts.

You pay like $100 a person.

Whoa, it's nuts.

It's just, it's like, I don't understand it.

I couldn't get over why my wife and Frank's wife wanted to do it so bad.

We had nothing to do with it.

It was like the first thing that they planned, and it's the last thing they planned.

Oh, you brought down the hammer, huh?

Well,

I didn't say that really so much in front of them.

You're hoping to get back to her.

I'm just saying it in front of you guys.

It was so boring.

And it rained, too, Q.

And we walked around getting soaked to get.

Did you have

delicious chocolate?

Like I said, I didn't eat any of the chocolate.

The only chocolate I ate, I walked into a drugstore in the town that wasn't participating.

I got myself like a Kit Kat, something in a, in a brand name wrapper, because all the chocolate they're giving out is like in little like,

little like clear bags, like sandwich bags, or they're like in like...

It looks like homemade chocolate.

Almost everything looks like it's homemade.

And I'm just like, you know what?

I need to see that red wrapper.

I haven't seen the home in which this was made.

Yeah.

I feel that the amount of chocolate that the ladies walked away with, Deb and Mrs.

Five,

they must have eaten maybe a couple handful, maybe two or three pieces, and the rest of it is long gone in a garbage bed, Jim.

Yeah.

They didn't even eat it all, probably.

That's my guess.

They refused to admit it, though.

And I asked, what happened to all that chocolate?

We ate it.

Oh, yeah.

I know I know you threw it away

so funny man do you do you find it was a chocolate wreck yes yes do you do you find in your um

in your marriage Walt you know I'm recently married considered you know compared to a

time yeah

how many years in I think it was like the first actually maybe not anymore because I think it was the first three years so it's going on year four this is on year four, yeah.

So, not a newlywood anymore.

But I noticed a little lie the other day.

The first lie?

Well, not the first lie.

Yeah, sure.

Let's say

a little lie the other day.

Probably not even the first that did.

I mean, have you pulled out the all-time great Brian Johnson line that I've got like, like, what, you've never been lied to?

The indignant lie.

I usually reserve that for when I'm whacked out on drugs and looking for any excuse possible.

I mean, you had the portrait.

You fucked up.

Yeah, the portrait was.

You fucked up.

You trusted us.

The portrait was more of a mislead, I think.

Oh, okay.

Yeah, than this.

I don't want her to feed the dog scraps.

I don't want her to give him crackers and popcorn because then he'll beg all the time.

And I don't like a begging dog.

And the other day,

I was like, you know, she was about to go some popcorn.

I was like, don't give him popcorn.

I was like, I don't ask for anything with this dog.

Like, I'm like, obviously, he likes her the best.

She's the master.

He doesn't give a fuck what I say.

That's just the way it is, just like everybody else in the fucking house, evidently.

But she's like, gonna give him this popcorn.

I'm like, please.

I was like, at least have the respect for me, like, to do it behind my back.

Not when I'm, I was like, I ask for nothing.

Just don't.

Don't do it when I'm standing right here.

Q, do you believe he asked for nothing?

I think that's another big lie.

We're talking about her lies.

Not my lies.

All right.

All right.

Nothing.

Brian's

always totally content with nothing that he wants.

I did note, I'll bring this up in a second, but I noticed something else about the dog's demeanor when he's around me.

So she's feeding.

Now, is popcorn, I don't know.

I would have to think popcorn is not on the list of

suitable dog treats, right?

It could be very salty.

And hers is like cheddar.

She She gives like the cheddar popcorn.

And in all fairness, it's not like she gives him like a

movie theater size bucket of it.

And it may be fine.

I don't know.

But yeah,

I was

always very cautious with puppies, dogs, babies.

It's like I'm not going to take a chance on giving it something that I'm not 100% sure it's capable of digesting.

Every day

we get deliveries of dog treats and dog toys.

Oh my God, Chewy.

We're keeping them in business.

I think every dog owner, every pet owner keeps Chewy in business.

This other Timu, this other place where she gets all these cheap Chinese, like you like Timu?

It's like a variation of Wish.

I haven't been there.

I've done Wish before, though.

Yeah, like every day, like this dog has more toys than Sage does at this point.

Q's glazing over.

He thinks he wishes he's on the train wreck right now.

Yeah.

No, I was embarrassed to think about how many fucking toys I've bought for Boris in the past two weeks.

I'm like, no,

Chewy's been working overtime over here, too.

Yeah, I don't get it.

So I turn around and I hear crunch, crunch, crunch.

She fucking gave it to him anyway.

When I'm within earshot, what do I do about this?

So what did you do?

I got cucked out.

I was like,

what was your reaction?

I go, seriously?

And she's like, it's only one piece of popcorn.

And I'm like, that doesn't matter.

It could be one or it could be a hundred.

You're teaching them bad behavior.

And she likes to dance with them too, which encourages the dog to jump up on people.

The dog is tall.

You wouldn't believe how tall this thing is at this point.

I thought it was going to be just a little guy.

You're like John Lithgow and Footloose.

You're like, you can't dance in this town.

There's no dancing around here.

She should pull out the fucking

death blow.

No comeback statement.

No way to respond to it.

Well, you don't dance with me.

Boom.

Mic drop.

There would be nothing I could say.

You've been married to bitch.

There would be nothing I could say.

Yeah, I don't dance with her.

Is the dog motivated by treats or food?

He's

not really.

He may not beg then.

Because I know Sox

is not motivated by food or treats.

And like, you could feed her treats and she'll never beg, though.

But, you know, but Scooper would have begged constantly.

He was just a beggar no matter how little treats we gave him from the table, that motherfucker was

back it away.

I used to have a dog.

Would you be willing to the compromise of, like, with Huck, I would give him people food, but only in his bowl.

So he didn't associate with it meet with me eating it.

He associated it with it being in his bowl, so he just assumed that was dog food.

That's okay.

But like,

she was like

commenting on my mother because like uh Pam and Edgar went away to California and they put somebody in charge of their of charge of their dog for uh the week or two that they were gone.

And so, you know, they write out this detailed list.

And at the end of the night, he gets an Oreo cookie.

And the girl was like, she asked her mom, she was like, is this right or are they just joking around?

But nope.

Every night, my mother's dog gets an Oreo cookie.

Wait a minute.

So they hire a stranger to watch this?

I think there's so little chocolate in that shit.

No,

it's like Darren's stepdaughter

kind of girl.

Yeah, I would be a little

dog's fat.

Well, I would be a little

head-scratching myself if I got the list and I was like, feed the dog an Oreo cookie.

I was like, because you know, we've been told, you know, no chocolate for dogs.

Right.

Not a Johnson dog.

I guess Johnson dog.

It doesn't apply to those rules.

I think there's so little chocolate in it, it doesn't really affect them, but still, it's all sugar.

Yeah, it's just all sugar.

Yeah.

You know, and then

I get.

Oh, yeah.

Yeah, he used to be the Oreos.

Sleek.

Probably the Oreos.

He used to be sleek and a little pup, and now he's just a fat old man.

When he runs after the ball, he just goes and he sits next to it and shoes on it.

He doesn't bring it back anymore.

Her cat just got diagnosed with diabetes.

You've seen those cats.

Those cats are fucking huge.

And they're living in a household, you know, that's with two seniors, so they're not probably that active with their, with the dog either, probably, right?

No, Edgar brings him for a walk every day.

Oh, okay.

Every day, bring it back.

He's still pudgy, still pudgy, yeah.

Maybe it's the Oreos, could be the Oreos or like the open access to food they always have.

Like, they don't just feed them three times a day, there's always like a bowl of food on the floor, no, free feeding.

Oh, that's the issue, like, letting them graze all day is not good, right?

Yeah,

no solution, people do whatever they want, yeah,

they don't give a shit.

The dog ain't complaining, dog doesn't care.

But uh, what I was going to say earlier about the dog is that that dog has helped me a little bit in terms of tempering my

attitude and the way I talk and shit.

Because if I start to get worked up about something,

he'll take notice, he'll walk away, and he goes into his crate.

Like, you know, he sleeps in his crate.

So it's kind of like if I start getting all pissy about something stupid, I'm talking to Mary Beth, and I see him walk away, I'll bring it down.

Oh, okay.

So, he's like a

little bit,

he's like a service dog,

a rage-indicating dog.

Yeah.

He's like a mood ring.

I'm surprised that noticing that Mary Beth didn't get her own crate to set up right next to it.

So anytime she sees you get a little worked up, she just crawls into the crate and like creaks the door closed and latches it.

I'm sure she'd be sneaking on popcorn through the bars.

Both of them be like running the cup across the

shut up in there.

Sticking a little mirror out of of the bars to talk to each other.

I'm just trying to do right by this dog.

I feel like giving it like feeding them and teaching them these bad habits isn't a good thing, but I get overruled.

It doesn't matter what I say.

It happens.

Yeah.

I mean,

you get overruled at home all the time?

Constantly?

It's not all the time, but you got to choose your battles, though.

And I don't know if this is a battle that I would wage, you know, would go to war over.

The one piece of popcorn.

Well, you know, because the dog is happy, you know, getting the popcorn.

So,

I don't know.

Yeah.

I mean, you get, I mean, do you get a lot of visitors?

Is the dog going to be?

If we do get a visitor, he's afraid of them.

So it doesn't matter.

Yeah, let him have some.

I lock up my cats when I make popcorn because they want to eat it.

Do they?

So I, I, yeah, they'll, they'll dive their face right in the fucking bowl and start chomping.

So I put the cats away when they make that popcorn.

Maybe that's what you got to do, man.

When it's popcorn time, dog goes into the cage.

Yeah.

But then like, then he's not with the family in the family room and stuff.

You know, it's

only during that popcorn bowl.

You know, during the popcorn, yeah.

And you know what?

He doesn't even come to me because he knows I won't give it to him.

I'm the hard ass man.

Look at you, dude.

Yeah.

See how dogs know not to make it.

I know what it's like to grow up without fucking obeying rules and being a shithead and fucking doing whatever you feel like.

It doesn't pan out.

I'm trying to teach this dog better.

I want the dog to have the life I never did.

I want the dog to be the Johnson I never was.

Yeah, exactly.

Exactly.

That's funny.

Doing anything for you, Berkeley?

Oh, go ahead, Q.

No, I saw Kevin Smith last night, boys.

Oh,

are you at your

says to say hello?

Yeah, I was at a charity event, the Friends of Firefighters Gala in

Red Hook, Brooklyn yesterday.

A gala.

I wasn't even aware.

Yeah, he was the MC.

It was good to see him.

He did a great job, Fireman.

Love seeing him.

You know, it was nice of him to come all the way out to support.

It was nice.

What's the difference between a gala and a party?

Did you have to dress a certain way?

Most of the firemen were wearing their uniforms, like their, you know, their dress uniforms.

And then everybody else was like in suits.

Like Steve Bussemi was there.

He was wearing a suit.

I was there.

I wore a t-shirt with a blazer because I'm, you know, the young hip guy, I guess.

Maverick.

I don't need no tie, you know what I mean?

Right.

Yeah.

You're the Hollywood outsider.

Yeah, yeah.

I guess.

No, mainly because

the guys from my firehouse were going, were complaining about having to wear their

uniforms.

So I dressed down on purpose just to kind of in your face it to them.

They noticed.

They noticed.

Yet another example, though, Walt, another example of how the elite don't have to follow the same rules when it comes to galas and parties and award ceremonies.

Rules for the elite.

I'm assuming Kevin was not in a suit.

He was in jean shorts and a blazer,

as is his normal uniform.

His uniform, right?

Yeah, yeah.

But hey, man, like if you want the big shots there, you just have to look the other way when they show up in,

you know, nobody wants the Rolling stones that's that's it you want a big shot like you know kevin smith or or brian quinn we're gonna we're gonna show up in a blazer and t-shirt which is it what both of him and i wore

yeah he looks good it's weird like uh being fatter than kevin smith it really is he has thinned down and he's maintained it that's pretty impressive yeah i gotta say it's not the easiest

world

no looks really good man it's good to see him not for real but like i said he says says hello so there you go all right uh walt's birthday's coming up you doing anything for it no nothing really special no no marybeth asked me what i wanted to do this year i said nothing

it just seems like until you hit certain milestones it's like why why am i doing this

and even the milestones the milestones at this point are not fun no no no

i only not disagree more no

I think you guys, I think you have to make an effort to start celebrating every single one.

Really?

Because

what are you waiting for milestones for?

If you don't do it, then your birthday is just like every other day.

Like,

why not make it a little special?

I did have a lot of fun at Q's birthday party.

Yeah, that was a good one.

Right there.

Yeah.

And that, you know, the reason I threw that party last year, get him, was because I was like, wow, my 50th birthday is coming up in like three years.

I was like,

I was like, I should throw a, like a nice, I should think about like throwing a nice 50th birthday party.

And then I was like, why am I waiting for my 50th?

Like, just do it now.

Like, what's the fucking point?

So, that's how last year's party came about.

And that turned out to be a great success, man.

Everybody had a blast.

Will you reconsider, Walt?

Renting out a bar, hiring Jack Sparrow.

Nothing makes a party like a Captain Jack Sparrow impersonator, Walt.

And the food truck makes the whole night.

And the food truck, yeah, yeah.

The food truck was good, yeah.

And Richard, what's his name?

Richard Kynes.

Richard Kynes.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah.

I don't know if you're going to be able to get Richard Kynes.

Who is it?

Exactly.

He was the brother of the guy on

Goldberg's.

He was the brother of the father, Uncle Something.

Oh, the guy with the beard?

I don't remember, but

he's grown a beard, yeah.

Yeah.

He was the.

He ran a furniture store or something or a carpet store.

Brother?

Oh, he's.

Oh, okay.

Yeah.

He was the former

Mike or something.

Yeah, he was on Spin City.

He was on Spin City years ago he's

larry's cousin oh yeah i know who he is

yeah i know who he is oh he's awesome he's awesome i still regret not getting a photo with him yeah so is that the key is like if you got to have at least one

name

at the party

or don't bother throwing a party then is that is that the q rule i mean if you want to embarrass yourself i guess have a celebrity list party

but you would have one built in because Q would come.

Yeah.

Yeah, I'll come to your party.

Okay.

All right.

It's this Sunday.

But

I'll put you down in ink.

Yeah.

I'll do that, man.

I'll come and do that.

I'll take a picture with Geddem at the party.

It'll be great.

Yeah.

Oh, boy.

But anyway, that's my point.

Like, I think you should celebrate

every birthday from now on.

How many you got left, bud?

You know?

A whole bunch, I hope.

Yeah, but even if you do, like, you know, you're not as many as you used to, so why not like you're going to be able to do that?

But dude, if I live to 110, I'm only halfway through my birthdays, all right?

So I got.

Yeah, that is, I guess technically, if you live to 2,000, then you're, you know, then you're early in still.

I mean, I'm going to run out of ideas for these birthday parties.

And you're going to remember the last ones just as much as you remember the first ones.

Yeah.

Well, we went to Florida the past two years, and then Mary Beth said, well, do you want to go to Florida again?

And I was like, I said, not really.

We're We're going to, you know, we're going to go.

We're going next week.

We're going next week, and then we're going on the cruise

in January.

So I'm like, not really.

I think I just want to stay home and mourn

with that.

Yeah.

We will do a little bit more.

Why don't we throw you apart?

Like, why don't we have a bowling alley party?

Oh,

we could do that.

Over at Valero.

Yeah.

I mean, it's right there.

Like the bowling alley party.

We get paid for everything, the Tesdes Dis, the birthday parties,

the award show.

I don't know.

I think a pizza bowling party is like a lot of fun.

And once again, I hate to sound like a broken record, but right across the street,

there's fantasies.

You got to wrap up the night of fantasies.

How much is true?

You got to, man.

I saw a girl in the news queue because you always talk about how you're going to get your revenge when this one person dies

you're gonna visit the grave yeah this lady yeah went like next level

uh oh this woman who spent 15 years wow getting revenge on a man who spit on her friend

whoa

yep this was back in college

um

Linda Solly Hurd recalled the night she was enjoying her night out with friends at a comedy show and one of her friends mistakenly knocked a drink over onto a man's lap.

She said the man was so furious that he spit on her friend, calling this woman a stupid fat bitch.

Oh my god, I'm screaming in this guy's face, she said.

That's assault.

You're disgusting, you're trash.

And he called me an ugly bitch.

We move on with the night, we do not move up, but we do not move on with our lives.

They're not the type to forgive and forget.

And then the woman noticed that the guy was a fan of Breaking Bed and The Walking Dead.

Feeling vengeful, she created Facebook accounts to spoil spoil episodes on a weekly basis

for both shows through direct messages.

She goes, this is back when the shows were airing on TV and you get one a week, so we would do anything to avoid a spoiler.

I go to search for all the spoilers.

I go on Reddit.

I get all the forms, everything, and then she goes onto the account and tells him everything.

She said the man tried to block every single fake account she made, but she just created more and spoiled his television fun.

She said, I do that for a few months, and then I'm over the grudge.

But then the man ended up in her political science class.

So she's in college, and she's like, that's the fucking guy.

That's the guy right there.

Okay, so this isn't all the course of decades.

This was something that must like this.

She didn't wait 15 years.

She's been doing it for 15 years.

15 years.

So she's still in college?

No, no, not anymore.

But she's still doing it.

Oh, okay.

He's going through the history of what

she did.

So

she spammed him with more spoilers after, because then she was like, oh, you know what?

Fuck it.

So somehow,

oh, she goes, one day he's firing up his PowerPoint to the projector for a class project.

And I see a tab in his laptop before it fires up with his Reddit username.

So she tracks down the Reddit account.

She spoils his TV a little bit more.

And then she didn't bother him for almost 10 years until a mutual Facebook friend announced.

her engagement to the man.

She said, this woman says, I find out they're engaged.

And when they're pretty close to the wedding, I was like, I haven't thought about this guy in so long.

So I look up his Reddit to see if he's still using it.

She looks up the Reddit and discovered some quote-unquote sinister things.

I see some pretty sinister stuff on his Reddit.

There are pictures that he's passing off as his fiancé.

So I guess he's saying, like,

here's what my fiancé looks like, but really, it's not her.

It's some other woman.

I'm assuming that.

What's up with this guy?

And she said, if I was your partner, you would want to know.

She went.

So then she went on to one of her unused Facebook accounts and messaged the man's Reddit post to his then fiancé.

The woman then broke off the engagement after sending, after she was sent a few of those sinister Reddit posts and is now remarried with

this woman, this girl who was doing the revenge said the last I checked, I saw her, she's got beautiful children and a thriving business and seems to have a happy marriage.

Now, wow,

it's pretty funny.

But where do you draw the line?

Yeah, did she take it too too far, Q?

He sounds like a real prick, this guy.

I wouldn't have the energy for that sort of sustained campaign against him.

Well, she sounds like the female version of Lex Luther.

Yeah, I wouldn't want to mess with her.

That's her fucking job.

Oh, yeah.

You want to be on the good side?

Yeah, I would just like, could he apologize?

Like, I wonder if he apologized, would it had stopped it?

If he was like, look,

you've shown me that i've been a fucking dickhead because nobody puts this energy in unless i was a real monster uh and it's made me think about what i did and i i just i i owe you an apology like i i wonder if she would have stopped i don't know i mean she didn't even afford him the chance to let it let him know that it was her like that's fucked up though like because if you roll if you reverse the roles

guys doing this to a woman It definitely, like, you wouldn't take it as lightly.

You wouldn't be like, you go, girl.

You would be like, this is a sinister motherfucker.

Yeah, that is a good point.

You would be like, dude, let it go.

Leave the girl alone.

Yeah, like you're stalking her.

You're harassing her at this point.

And like, how do you know the guy wasn't drunk out of his mind when he got his drink spilled and spit on her and may not even remember it happened?

You got to be pretty.

Yeah, that's true.

You got to be pretty drunk.

That's no excuse.

I know, but

unless you were like suffering suck attacks, you know, and you fucking accidentally spray her.

But it seems like this guy just spit on her.

Yeah, yeah.

I mean, he he learns it.

I don't know if he learned his lesson, though, because he doesn't know who it is that's fucking with him.

I mean, she broke up his fucking engagement.

That is harsh, man.

Yeah.

Was it meant to last, though?

If a simple Reddit post can break up.

Well, I think it was several, and they were sinister,

according to this post.

Geez, Louise, man.

I mean, she's Lex Luther.

Walt nailed it, but

I don't have the energy for that.

I doubt at the end of the day, I'll even really take a shit on this grave.

You know what I mean?

Like, let's say the day comes, I'm going to be like, what am I going to do?

Go to the cemetery, like, sneak in.

It's more fun to talk about on a podcast.

I'm trying to sow doubt, bro.

Okay, okay.

Would you be willing to hire someone to deliver it for you?

No, no.

I think this is a personal thing, right?

Okay, okay.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

But,

you know, revenge is a dish best served cold, and she's serving a fucking cold.

It is icy at this point.

And will she stop?

Yeah.

She put it on TikTok, so the guy might know who she is at this point.

How did the newspaper find out about this fucking story?

Because it was a TikTok post that went viral.

Oh, so she exposed it.

Yeah, she exposed it, yeah.

So it's over then.

The guy's got to know.

If he does, I mean, I don't know.

If he's on her TikTok, perhaps.

Or if he puts it together and he's like, like, wait a second.

Somebody was spoiling Breaking Bed.

Somebody was spoiling Walking Dead.

Somebody broke up my fucking engagement.

The engagement.

It is weird.

The engagement is the one thing, like the

TV spoilers are so petty.

That it's funny.

Yeah.

That it's really funny that she was doing that.

A guy could do that to a girl and I wouldn't be like, I mean, I'd be like, it's weird, but I wouldn't be like, that guy's fucking.

I'd be like, that is a fucking crazy dude, but not like.

But hunting down a private life details and sending it to her fiancé, I'd be like, that year's fucking crazy.

Yeah, so I guess she is kind of crazy, but I'm hesitant to say that because I don't want to get on her bad side.

No, fuck no way.

Has anyone here ever intentionally spoiled a show out of pure spite?

I know you have.

No, I'm not.

I thought that's what you wanted to say.

No, no.

I thought we wanted to get out.

Yeah, you want to make a confession?

No, I don't.

Yeah, I find so little weight in that anyway.

Like, even if somebody spoiled it for me, I wouldn't be mad at them.

I'd be like, oh, oh, that's what happened.

I'd be like, okay, cool.

I've never got mad about that.

When we were, um, this is funny.

When we were at the, this is when Atlantic Highlands still had a video store.

I was with my ex-girlfriend, Jill, at the time, and we were

looking at videos.

And Timmy was there.

Timmy showed up.

Timmy Hill?

Timmy Hill.

Yeah.

And he asked if we had ever seen Shaw Shank Redemption.

And he holds up the video box.

He goes, He goes, Have you ever seen this?

And I said, Yeah, it's great.

And Jill, my girlfriend at the time goes, Oh, it's awesome because he gets away at the end.

It's like,

Why the fuck would you say that?

He just puts the box back on

the rack.

He's like, thanks.

I guess.

That's funny.

I only say that because I used to have a friend who was, I forgot the show that they were into, but I used to just,

I didn't watch it, but I would give them fake spoilers.

Like, oh my God, did you hear what happened?

What's going to happen?

And they're like, what?

I'm like, oh, think about it in Game of Thrones, and I would just make up these strange Game of Thrones things, and they would get so upset.

And then they'd be like, who was this friend?

It was a guy I worked at at the track.

Yeah,

who's a sledged friend?

Q.

Oh, I told Walt was going after him some more.

He's about to launch into an investigation.

Walt's not feeling too well today, so he's tempered.

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oh so so they're getting out of the testicle game i think they're still in the testicle game judging by the ball tober or ballowing joke yeah yeah i felt this was a yeah i thought this was a device that was used for

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land down under not the uh one of them is yeah but they also now they're expanding their horizons man they're going to different bottles to new products yeah they're like we got the balls covered.

Everybody knows.

Well, they fucking, they own that.

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So what else do we got here?

I have a bunch.

I've stopped looking at the news almost in total.

Yeah.

So I don't know what's going on anymore.

I'm very removed from society.

I don't ask.

That's good.

Is there a lot of stuff going on?

That's good.

Yeah.

Bad stuff, most of it.

Yeah, that's the way it feels.

If I look at the news, it's going to be bad stuff.

Like, I am.

It's going to be a lot of bad stuff.

Like 92.3 switched over to 1010 wins now.

Okay.

So, and it's one of the only,

it's still on my dial, and a lot of the music out there I can't stand.

So I turn it on, and it's just, it's just the same depressing news over and over and over and over again.

And it's just, it's, it's horrible to listen to sometimes.

All right.

Yeah.

So I'm doing myself a favor then.

Yeah, definitely.

Just get out, man.

There's nothing you could do.

There's nothing you can do about what's going on,

you know, the big things going on in the world right now.

So don't get yourself worked up about it.

Concern yourself about the dog popcorn.

These are the issues that face me.

Yeah, yeah.

Just stay, you know, stay within your bubble.

Should I start writing maybe a Johnson newsletter?

Like a Johnson blog?

Here's what happened today

about what's going on in your world?

Yeah, like with the dog popcorn,

the Johnson Journal.

Wait, go ahead.

Can we get Mary Beth's side of it?

Can she do like a follow-up journal of like that that's kind of robuts companion journal?

Like, you, yeah, like your version of the story isn't the only one out there.

That's the greatest thing, though.

Like, my version then becomes the official version, you know?

You can't argue that.

Yeah, so

since I'm not really a part of the world anymore, I just write down tiny little things that happened.

Like, the other day I went to Chili's for lunch.

You know, for example, I went to Chili's for lunch, and then as you're pulling out, you know, there's like PetSmart and Rook and all those places right there.

And people love to park there.

Because they want to park there and then let somebody out, you know, so you can't get out.

They love to park like right in that main drag where it says no parking.

Like right in front of of PetSmart.

Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

So the other day, there's like two people parked there.

It's, I'm having a hard time getting around, and there's some lady just sitting there in her car, smoking a cigarette or whatever, and she lets somebody out.

And as I drive by, I just go, lazy.

That's all I said was lazy.

Oh, boy, people don't like to be called lazy.

I found out

because I was just fucking around.

I wasn't upset or anything.

I just go, lazy.

And she goes, fuck you.

And I got to say, it really made me laugh.

It was enjoyable.

So I think I'm going to do it more often.

Just accuse people of laziness.

If I could just accuse people of laziness and get that reaction.

Because she had to feel something.

There had to be something about it that struck a chord with her, right?

Yeah.

Because if she wasn't being lazy, she'd be like, what's he talking about?

Yeah.

It's, yeah, it's true.

For her to get so angry about it is, uh, is mark remarkable.

So, I, you know, I, somebody called me an asshole recently while I was driving.

All I did was laugh.

Like, I wasn't like, boggo.

Well, you know, I've driven with you many times.

Yeah.

Was the accusation accurate?

No, it actually wasn't.

I was up, I was up by City Field, uh, and I was driving, I was driving out towards a green light, and

this guy just, he was, you know, drunk from the game or whatever, and he just walked across the street as if the, you know, as if he had the light.

And he didn't like that I didn't slow to a stop at a green light.

And so he actually did something funny.

He took the, he doffed his cap at me, like an old school kind of like fucking

he doffed the cap and he like presented the street as if like, here you go, my liege.

And I was like,

I was like, well, man, all I'm doing is driving to the, to the green light.

So like when I got to him, I slowed down and I doffed my cap at him.

Like, I rode down the window and I doffed my cap at him.

And he goes, you're fucking asshole.

So, I just started laughing and then took off.

So, I'm out there doffing caps at people, dude.

They're getting upset about it.

I think he wanted me to be like angry that he was being sarcastic about giving me the right of way.

Which, you know, it could be argued that like pedestrians do automatically have the right of way, but like not on a four-way street with like cars buzzing like a highway.

You know what I'm saying?

Like, like technically, you probably have the right of way, but you should also assume that that doesn't matter.

Yeah, it's a green light, motherfucker, on a four-lane fucking street.

Like, why don't you just chill out like two minutes?

But,

you know, we got to do our doff off.

Dop off.

You had to see how fast I fucking tried to find.

You know how you can't exactly find the window down thing

every time you go for it.

Yeah, it was like that.

I was like,

trying to slow down,

trying to get my cap off the window down low enough just so I could fucking doff the cap outside the window at his face and shit like that.

But it makes my day.

I'm like, yeah.

If I had like the Duke's hazard horn, it would have been the best.

I'm going to have to try that.

Like, next time somebody gets mad at me on the road, I'll doff my cap if I'm wearing one, see what happens.

Yeah, man, let's get into like some cap doffing around here, man.

There really has been sort of

a drought of it.

Well, can you imagine if the rest of the world just adopted that as a way to handle their differences?

Just doff your hat and move on.

Yeah.

Right?

Think how great this world would be right now.

You know, all these countries at each other's necks.

You just doff your, whatever it is you have on your head.

Just at the border of the Gaza Strip, doffing their fucking tat at each other.

Problem solved.

Cancel the airstrike.

He took his hat off.

Why didn't we think of this before?

But no, I know it's unrealistic, but it'd be nice, you know, if that was the world we lived in where that's how differences were settled or

things were made.

Just a little, like the

you can get back a little bit, and you can also show another person, you know, like, hey, I doff my hat at you, you doff your hat at me.

Let's move on.

Is that the new fuck you?

Well, the doffing of the cap.

Well, I mean, only if it catches on, right?

Well, he called me an asshole afterwards, so he broke the rules.

Yeah.

I thought biting the thumb was the, was the insult.

Biting the thumb at somebody?

Yeah, that was the insult.

Yeah.

Or throwing a shoe at him.

Yeah.

Yeah.

In the Western countries, yeah.

In TESD town, there's no higher insult than when someone doffs a cap at you.

I like that.

You know what I mean?

If you're in TESD town and somebody doffs their cap, that's

ground.

Yeah, you're into TDS.

But you can't.

All you can do is doff your cap back.

That's the rules.

Oh, you.

You're so lucky.

And if you need a hat to doff, go to TelmsteDa.com and order

a variety of trucker hats that are on there.

And there's going to be a new trucker hat for Black Friday.

Oh, yeah.

Perfect.

Trucker hats.

Perfect to doff at your enemies.

Plus the existing four-color demon hat.

So we have your doff

needs

met at the tellhemstevedave.com website.

And it's nice, too, because it's nice to have a new cap to doff

if you'd like to, you know?

Yeah.

Especially when the other person walks it out.

Yeah.

Yeah, I like that.

I like that we're creating a new insult right here.

And now, the doffing of the cat.

It's like, remember back in the day they used to slap each other with a white glove?

Yeah.

Yeah, this is this is, yeah, it's like, well,

and to the

untrained observer, it looks like you're paying respect, but you're really just calling them the worst piece of shit that you've ever seen in your entire life.

Well, wasn't the glove slap like a before duel?

Like, you were that's how you challenge someone to a duel?

Yeah, we don't want it to get that.

Yeah, I was going to say, yeah, yeah.

Yeah, this stops stops short.

Yeah, yeah.

No dueling.

Yeah, no dueling into Tom C.

Babe Town.

Although

it does kind of suck to be the doff back

because you've already been motherfucked.

You know what I mean?

That's true.

You want to doff first if you can, but I still think

it's a strong comeback.

Like it says you're in the know.

Yeah, it's an F you too.

You're going to see me at fucking the Florida Keys this weekend doffing my cap

at some

Keep an eye on that Instagram for some fucking cap-doffing action.

Some angry faces in the background.

You better take his hat away from him if he has too much a drink, though.

That's true.

Take his hat away.

Otherwise, in 15 years, you're going to doff.

Okay.

I found out

the answer to one of the greatest mysteries that I didn't even know existed the other day.

What happens to all those missing socks?

Huh?

What happens to all those missing socks?

This is one of those mysteries that I don't even think anybody even

realized

had happened until someone said, Hey,

do you remember the last time you saw white dog shit?

And I asked you guys,

when we were growing up, you could walk out

and walk about the town, and you could run into any number of dog droppings that were white.

And at a certain point,

it disappeared.

And I haven't seen, I couldn't even tell you the last time I saw white dog shit on the ground.

Do you think it's the rise of

the conscientious

baggy doggy bag pick up the crap?

Because that's really, that wasn't going on in the 80s, right?

Like, people were just letting the dog shit wherever and keep walking.

It is not.

I did some investigation after someone, like, you know, put it to me, and they're like, you know, I thought he had a tin foil hat, you know, that he was about to doff.

And then when I thought about it, I was like, hey, you know what?

You're right.

And everything got real spooky.

And I was like,

what happened to white dog shit?

And I went home and I found out that the makers of dog food changed the ingredients and the white dog shit became a thing that hasn't been seen in almost 30 years.

Dude, that was so weird because I remember it so vividly and just thinking like it had been left there and it was sunbaked and that was it.

No, it had nothing to do with the sun.

Wow.

Okay, if it had anything to do with the sun, you'd still see it.

I guess you would, yeah.

You know?

Who's cleaning up fucking dogs?

I thought that the same thing as Q, though, that like people don't, like, you don't really see dogs running wild like in our day.

Like, you would see dogs walking around town all the time.

Right.

Like, it was nothing.

So, yeah, like the rise of people actually keeping their dogs.

Curbing their dogs.

Curbing their dogs, yeah.

No, it had nothing to do with curbing your dogs.

Like, it took me all of like 30 seconds to find out the answer to this.

One of the great mysteries.

Yeah, but it really blew my mind when the guy told me, he was like, he just looked at me.

He said, when's the last time you saw white dog shit?

And I was just like,

who said this to you?

Frank Five.

Frank Five?

Yeah.

And he didn't know the answer.

I was going to say that.

Me and him were just like,

we're taking on the long chocolate walk.

We were just like,

we were talking about, yeah, what happened to white dog shit?

I'm sure the women love chocolate organizations.

Yeah, like they're in a romantic chocolate pack.

We're talking about dog shit.

And you wonder why the chocolate was then thrown out.

Wow,

that's something that

I would have memories of, but it wouldn't occur to me to question, like, where did it go?

Yeah.

Once he said it, it was just like, it was spooky.

And it makes you wonder, why haven't I wondered that?

We were looking around to see if any men in black were around, you know, trying to.

What was the ingredient?

What was the ingredient?

It was some sort of bone.

Bone meal.

Bone meal or something that was taken out.

That sounds really healthy for a dog to be here.

Well, it had, they revive, in the 70s, I think it was, they revised the nutritional requirements for dogs and started.

They realized they didn't need as much calcium as they thought they did, so they removed that ingredient.

So you knew the answer.

Like, if you were there in the chocolate walk, you could have just told us matter-of-factly.

I told you in the car.

Yeah, but I had already, I told you

on the way back from the trip.

But anyway, also, we also pondered, and we don't have an answer for this, how come we don't see shoes thrown over the top of electrical wires or telephone wires?

Because you haven't been to my neighborhood lately.

Get the fuck out of here.

I'm telling you.

Your neighborhood?

At the end of my street.

Watch.

There's a wire.

I can't stand it.

I want to cut them down.

It's so annoying.

Well, do you know what the urban myth is about those?

I thought it was that it denoted like a drug dealer's house.

Yeah, but is it right next to your house?

No, it's like probably like a half mile away or something.

I was going to say, you might want to,

maybe you got unwanted.

It's like directly in front of my house.

yeah i'm the drug dealer

did you hear that rumor kill urban myth

no i i i saw them my whole life i mean because my grandparents lived in brooklyn and brooklyn was where that shit was like everywhere um i have not seen it as much i've seen it i haven't seen it but i haven't seen it as much do you think the cops finally figured out the system and they're like people are like well We don't want the cops looking at us, so we have to think of a different system rather than one that's broadcast.

Like, hey, there's a drug dealer here.

But that is the strangest thing.

Like somebody is like, I know how we'll, you know, announce to the underworld that we're open for business selling drugs.

Throw an old pair of sneakers up over an electrical line.

It's so, I don't think it has anything to do with drugs.

No.

I think it's even more insidious and

more spooky than even that.

What do you mean?

Maybe an alien abduction was there or something.

Oh, Lord.

So

as they were getting sucked up, their shoes fell off and got wrapped up in the lines.

Yeah.

Yeah, there you go.

They were always Chuck Taylor's in Brooklyn.

Yeah.

Yeah, it was always Chuck's.

And

somebody in the history of the human race was the first person to do it.

I wish they could have fucking to fuck around or something.

Yeah, like Four Bully did it.

Yeah, did it to a kid.

It was like, oh, fuck you, go get your shoes.

Yeah.

And do you guys remember?

Um,

because they would do it in my neighborhood, and then you have to get like a tennis ball or a baseball, and then the game would be to hit the shoe to try and knock it off to get your shoes back.

And then

oh, yeah, I remember that.

We would take turns trying to hit the shoe, and then sometimes you would hit the shoe, and it would just wrap around the second time, and everybody was like, What the fuck?

You just made it harder for everybody, And you felt like a fucking dickweed for doing it.

You guys ever had that experience?

How come it didn't interfere with the lines' abilities to do whatever they're up there for?

Like, how come it didn't cause a fire?

How come it didn't cause people's telephone lines to run?

Like, you know, maybe there was.

Dude,

those lines could deal with branches falling among and shit like that.

They're built pretty well.

Oh, yeah.

They're not going to.

Yeah, a shoe's not going to do it.

A shoe's not going to do it.

Are there still telephone lines out there?

Because everybody got the cell phone now.

Oh, yeah.

Yeah.

What are they for now?

What are they?

Cell phone, internet.

They have data lines.

The electric lines and the data lines.

I think the higher ones are the electric.

The lower ones are data.

I forget.

It's been a while since I was involved in that shit.

But it's like it's internet and data.

And there's still a lot of landlines and stuff.

Well, like, they're still out there.

Really?

I still have a landline.

My mom still has a lot of landline.

Yeah.

Yeah, Pem and I grabbed it.

Yeah, I haven't.

I still, when it never answers it when it rings, it's just like, what the fuck?

Yeah, who the fuck has that on me?

It can't be anyone you ever want to hear from, right?

It has to always be like telemarketers.

This must be bad news.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Somebody just want to fucking doff your cat, your cat.

Q, I'm going to read you something, and it's going to be sexy.

Hold on, Walt's going to turn the lights down while I read this.

Because we have another advertiser back.

Now, this is

old school.

This is gone way back.

Who wants better sex?

Who wants to start having better sex immediately?

Me as well.

You get them?

All right.

So I'm going to read some stuff to you.

Does it need to be better?

It just needs to be existent.

Isn't it all?

It can't be.

Existent and with someone else.

All right.

We'll see what we can do for you here.

Specifically on that couch.

The best way to get started, get them, is to go to adamandeve.com right now.

Adamandeve.com?

AdamandEve.com, Adamandeve.com, yes.

They're still

with us.

Still around.

Wow.

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All will be packaged and sent discreetly, free, and fast.

See, that matters for me because a lot of my packages are left outside the general store door.

Right.

And, And, you know, I don't want the neighbors seeing that.

You don't want Ron, you know, seeing that.

Getting your freak on.

Oh.

Right next door.

Might think he's a danger.

Don't wait, get him, because better sex is just a click away.

That's 50% off one item, free shipping with rush processing.

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It was a pretty good company.

I've ordered stuff from these guys.

Yeah.

Yeah.

So what can I do?

They've been around forever, man.

Yeah, they've been a long time.

What kind of dealer is it?

I think I ordered stuff from them like 20 20 years ago.

Yeah, you still can.

Because you know why?

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Got to love the free shipping.

Definitely love the rush processing.

People, I got to say, like, there's something, like, I thought it was just millennials at first that, like, got wet over fucking free shipping.

But the more and more I see it, like, I get something from Amazon or I get something from eBay, it's like, I don't want to pay for shipping.

Yeah.

Figure it into the price.

So I feel like I'm getting over on you.

I had someone brag to me about how quick their free shipping was versus my free shipping the other day.

They're like, oh, I have free shipping and I got it on Monday.

You have to wait for Thursday.

Yeah, did you envy?

Yeah, I did.

I bet.

I bet.

Yeah, I would like to say,

on behalf of Adam and Eve and to the ants, like, I, because remember, I just said I ordered 20 years ago from them.

And I remember

being,

you know, in a relationship at the time that was kind of like

losing its spark a little bit.

And, and I remember like at the time it was paper catalogs.

Remember those?

Oh, yeah,

paper.

And, and I, and I remember, God, I must have been like 26, 27.

And I remember being like, hey, you know, why don't we, I got this.

Why don't we just take a look, see if there's anything fun in there?

We had a great night.

We ordered a bunch of stuff.

Came about a week later or whatever.

And

it was a good time.

So if you're out there and you're in a kind of like relationship that's nice, but maybe, maybe the spark's gone a little bit.

Reignitive.

I found,

yeah, like do it together.

Just be like, hey, I was listening to my favorite podcast, Helm C Dave, and one of the hosts were talking about how his relationship at one point was getting a little low end and, you know, whatever.

And like, just be like, I want to try this.

And if you have a partner that's a little open-minded, they might be like, all right.

you know we're trying here and the next thing you know you got all sorts of nipple clamps and toys and fun stuff going going on, you know, and

you're having a hoot and a blast.

Sexy dice.

I don't know if you ever played it.

Yeah, sexy dice.

You're in the dark.

I always find them ultimately disappointing, sexy dice, because

you're like, there's nothing on the dice that's going to come up that I wouldn't have done anyway.

Well,

you want the dice to put you in a new position.

Strap-on, Q.

Yeah.

The strap on.

Strap-on.

Now you're fucking talking.

Now you're talking.

Like, you know, like, maybe, like, just, you know, a lot of like kind of vanilla stuff, but then it's just like the other one is the sixth side is pegging.

And now those, those fucking dice rolls, they, they mean something.

Like, gather something on the line.

Yeah, yeah.

Now you're like, well, all right, bud, you know, kiss her left hit or like take a six inch dildo up your ass.

I don't know.

I'm like, that's a, that's a dice roll that means something.

Yeah, and then it's then you roll the other one, like, and then there's like pegging, and then the next dice is like, while you're getting pegged, maybe you have to call your mom and wish her like a

wish her like a

happy Halloween while it's going on.

How big are these?

Halloween.

Hold on.

Hold on.

Happy Halloween.

How big are these dice?

Oh, they're like big fat dice.

It's like the one that Tom's holding over in that picture over there.

Okay, okay.

To have all this words on the one side.

They're like fuzzy, giant dice.

Like those big cubes you have in playrooms.

I just love that one says begging and one side says call mom.

Weird.

We know what a Patreon exclusive dice comes.

Oh man.

Yeah.

Wow.

I didn't see that one coming.

But, you know.

Hey, oh.

Wow.

I just have one last question before we get out of here.

I watched a a documentary on Netflix the other day called Devil on Trial.

Did you see it by any chance?

So basically, it's this kid who says he's possessed, right?

It's a family.

Kid's about like 10 years old.

Says he's possessed.

They bring in the Warrens, Lorraine and the other.

What was his name?

Fuck, I can't remember.

The ones that the conjuring is based on and all that shit.

They had the Annabelle.

Ed Warren?

Ed Warren, yeah.

Ed and Lorraine.

Ed Warren.

Who are they experts on demonic possession?

They were the ones that broke like the Amityville case.

Weren't there all those cases?

It's all bullshit.

Yeah.

Yeah, it's all bullshit.

So they

break the case, I mean they debunked it.

They did not debunk it.

Oh, they did not debunk it?

No, they were like heavily involved in the

exploitation of the case, I guess.

Gotcha, gotcha, gotcha.

So

during this

exorcism, they're going to get the kid exorcised and the kid's flipping out and shit, you know, just like in the exorcist.

And

the kid's sister's boyfriend says to the demon, leave this kid alone, come into me, right?

And so then later on, the kid says he feels fine, but the guy starts acting weird to the point where he eventually kills somebody

and says that it was the devil who made him do it, that he was possessed.

And they went to trial.

I won't spoil the end to let you know what happened, but they went to trial on demonic possession.

That he was demonically possessed, and that was why that was his defense.

Yes,

this would have been in the late 70s, early 80s, somewhere around there, I think.

Oh, okay.

I was going to say, yeah, that would have been.

Yeah, it was like 1983, I think.

Okay.

Wow.

I wish we could bring in our TSD town sexy lawyer to get his thoughts on these things, on legal matters.

He wants to come in.

He's out of Boston.

Yeah.

They grow him fine in Boston.

Oh, they do.

Anytime this guy comes up,

Walt's like a six-sided dice at all set.

Call your lawyer.

Mom's crossed out.

It says,

Nothing.

Just wanted to see how you're doing and see what you thought about this demonic case from 83.

You're still pretty?

We!

My question was, though, who in your life would you take on the demon for?

You saw it happen.

My daughters.

Your daughters?

Without a hesitation.

I would do it anyway.

I would be.

You look like it was fun.

I don't give a fuck.

I would take on the devil for my daughters, you know, for my mom, for my wife.

I would stand up to the devil and spit in his eye like that motherfucker

who got trolled by that bitch for fucking 30 years.

I doffed my cap at that motherfucker.

Yeah.

What Q?

I mean, what?

G-Spot?

What do you got over there?

Is Workson included in that list?

My Work Sons,

well, I pluraled that.

That was a double entendre.

That was a little upsetting about that.

No, none of the Worksons would get that same level of bravado where I would dare to step up on a fucking demon

and invite him into my soul or invite him into my body.

No, you guys got to do a little bit more than fucking plan a DD episode or

pack a few boxes.

So they have to have your DNA.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

I know, I know, that's shitty of him.

No, he said wife.

He said wife.

That's true, yeah.

Did say that.

I mean, I'd go so far as to say as I would take the demon from me and put it into get him if I could.

Yeah, I'd try to transfer it as quickly as possible.

Yeah, but but like I thought of like all the boyfriends my sister has had.

Yeah.

And I'm like, I don't think one of them, not one of them, would I would I Oh, oh, you're meaning like, oh, okay, you were putting

that boyfriend's extremely

great sacrifice.

And you're putting your, you're saying, well, did my sister have any boyfriend?

Yeah, you're just, yeah, that would be

the problem.

I think I'm the only one.

You're the only guy.

I'm the only guy

from her past that would.

But you know what?

I still probably wouldn't take a dig on for Tracy.

I'm sorry.

I wouldn't.

Even my parents, I'd be like, you guys are pretty old.

You're not going to be possessed for that long.

I mean,

yeah.

But it's about the eternal soul, though, isn't it?

Aren't they claiming?

Look, I don't know.

Well, my demonologist,

you know, I got to talk to Father Lance about this.

Right.

At least we have

some associates that we can call upon to help us if, you know, if it happened, you know, we call upon Father Lance.

And if we need to, and like I said, if we need to go to trial, if we kill somebody, you know, while we're possessed,

we have a very

handsome lawyer that is willing to take our case on for us.

Like, I know you're joking around.

Well, you're not joking around about it, obviously, but I know like you're referencing.

How sexy he is.

Yeah, how sexy and handsome he is.

I'm not joking.

Joking is the wrong word.

Joking is the wrong word.

I'm laying it on really thick, but that's because he used to win work for us for no money.

But also, I think it's really good.

And he's really fucking cute.

He's really cute, too.

But his cuteness is an asset in that courtroom, right?

I think if you're a juror, you get swayed.

Like this handsome lawyer versus

some troglodyte who walks in there and looking

ugly and gross.

I think you got to tamper it down.

You can't just walk in there and ride.

the sexy coattails though, like and think you're just going to skate by and get and get a verdict in your favor just upon your looks.

You know, I think juries, jurors can pick up on that.

Like, this motherfucker thinks he's all that, you know, with his sexy face and his sexy hair and his

sexy tight ass.

I feel

him, C-Tape.

Tell him, C-Tape.

Hell, I'm done with this.

Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait.

Wait, wait.

Hold on.

My vet just texted me.

But I want to leave on this note, if that's okay.

Sure.

This guy,

there's a six-month-old pit bull mix

that somebody brought in to get fixed and then never picked up.

And it's been living in the vet's office since noon.

They're trying to adopt it out.

So if anybody's looking for a really good dog, a sweet puppy,

I guess, send an email.

I mean, look at this guy.

He's just

cute.

And the owner just abandoned them there.

And the vets are taking care of him because they're good guys.

So I don't know.

Walt, could they email you if anybody's interested in that?

Sure.

In what area?

The K-Muse, the K-Muse account.

I say sure.

K-Mews2 at gmail.com.

But you got to send me.

Why can't you just put out the vets email?

I mean, I'm just, I didn't know it was going to be an issue.

I thought you would be happy to take that.

If it's an issue, then I'll then

make an email.

I'll make an email up and put it on my Twitter.

no, no.

I thought you would be happy to do it.

Team Used to Gmail.

But then I need the details of how they can get contact with your vet, though.

Yeah, I'll just put them in touch.

If you just forward me the emails,

I'll do that.

You don't have to handle anything.

Just forward me the emails.

I'm fine making it.

I just thought it would be

because everybody emails you anyway.

Okay, all right.

And the dog's in the Staten Island area, right?

Yes.

Okay.

Yeah.

But they're saying he's a great dog.

His name's Titan, but I'm sure you'll want to rename that at some point.

Anyway, that's all.

That's a cool name.

Sorry.

Yeah, it's just very cool.

And I know my vet's a good guy and is trying to take care of this dog.

So, you know, I don't know.

Just throwing it out there.

That's all.

Sorry.

Crazy animal dude BQ checking in.

Yeah, sorry about that.

No problem.

Thank you, Walt.

No problem.

All right.

Now, now tell him, Steve David.

Tell him, Steve, David.

Tell him, Steve David.

All right.

Thank you, guys.

All right.