#573: Ming the Maverick

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Now enjoy the show.

It's like, I'm dying fucking.

I don't give a fuck about your wedding.

And that's why he gets to dress how he wants, and you gotta dress like some fucking monkey.

You are all like

salmon colored.

I'm not ready.

Swimming upstream.

Yeah, why are you so reluctant?

We're ready to spawn this guy.

I'm not ready.

Tell him, Steve, Dave.

Hello, and welcome to this week's edition of Tell him Steve Dave.

We got a full house here.

Of course, Walt's here.

Hello.

Of course, Q is here.

How you stanking?

Yeah.

Oh, no.

Oh, shit.

Upstaged.

Get him.

It's catching on.

I know.

People are stealing it.

People, I read on Twitter just recently, they're like, I'm glad they didn't go with the guest route.

Well, remember, we were talking about getting guests, and that sort of all fell apart after Nellie.

I never liked the idea.

Nah, I mean, it was just one of those things where it's like, if we could get guests that...

are good for that we like like DeRosa that we vibe with you know then then it works out but we don't vibe with that many people

we just don't But this guy,

we certainly've been vibing for 13 years with this guy.

13, dude.

That's just on Mike.

That's just on Mike.

Been vibing since the mid-90s.

Yeah.

With Ming Chen.

Hello, everybody.

What's going on?

Yes.

Nobody vibes on Mike more than Ming Chen.

No.

Wait, whoa, what's that supposed to mean?

Yeah, I like that.

That's pretty good.

It's good to see nothing's changed, Joe.

It's good to see nothing's changed.

Haverick is in the house.

Yeah, the bad.

This was a huge bone of contention last week, man.

I heard.

I heard.

You guys just can't let me have it, can you?

I can.

I know you.

I know you can.

Q let you have it.

And then Walt sort of like he got one to Q's side.

I'm staying strong.

I don't know where Gidam stands.

In this room, I know where he stands in this room.

Outside of this room.

He's like, well, where does Walt stand?

What we're talking about, in case you missed last week, is that Ming won an award from the New Jersey

Arts.

The Mommoth Arts.

50 Years Strong, gentlemen.

50 Years Strong, the Mommoth Arts.

He won the Maverick Award, and Kevin won a different award.

He won something else.

Excellent in the arts or something.

Excellence in the arts.

Now, how did you get on the radar of the arts committee?

To be honest with you, I have no idea.

So they sent me an email maybe about six months ago saying that, hey, we love what you're doing.

We have this award ceremony.

We'd like to give you this Maverick award.

And I thought it was spam.

So I ignored it.

I ignored it because I was like, who the hell wants to give me an award?

And like, when, you know, where's the thing saying I give my credit card number?

That just sounded so absurd.

I have no idea.

I have no idea how they found me.

And so they sent me, I think, four or five more.

And finally, they're like, listen, do you want this thing or not?

Because, you know, we're going to give it to someone else if you don't reply.

What's more Maverick than not even answering that email?

If he had been like, if he had known, he's like, oh, they want to give me this award.

I don't want this fucking award.

I got shit to do.

Yeah.

I need my nights free.

I got to go out bar hopping.

Yeah.

That's a maverick.

Maverick.

Did you have

a speech that you had to give on acceptance?

I had one prepared, but they didn't want any of the award winners to give speeches except Kevin got to give

Kevin Smith.

Of course.

Yeah, of course.

The only guy that got to give a speech.

Right.

Yes.

Wow.

Yeah.

I mean, in the interest of time.

If you couldn't stamp your feet and get get it done as the Maverick, you should have fucking went up there and did it anyway.

Yeah, that would have been Maverick.

I pulled the ODB.

It's like, I bought me a suit that costed me a lot of money today.

You know, TESD is good, but I saw comics.

It's the best.

I'm Ming Chen.

And, yeah, and this is for the children.

Just shove Kevin and walk out.

Just a little push.

I should have.

I should have.

No, actually, you gave a really good speech.

I'm sure, yeah.

Standing ovation.

Yeah, but it just seems like that's kind of of uh it's kind of weird then that you have that stance like no no no no you can't we only have one person giving a speech i mean it's not like they're like hey you know we'd love if you you give an acceptance speech and then he came he's like no we're good we're good we don't need you to so all right yeah all right but i i want to do i i do feel ashamed about my behavior last week i i'll just be putting on front street i was jealous i was bitter

and i was wrong so when you said he should get the award in for the next 10 years without contesting.

No, no, I stand by that.

But I believe that, you know,

if it was up to me,

the next decade you own that.

Every year, because they give it to a different person every year.

So I wouldn't.

It could be you next year, wouldn't it?

It could be you next year.

It's not going to be me.

Probably not.

No.

You're not going to answer that email.

If they wanted to give you...

Go ahead.

Oh, sorry.

Sorry.

Oh.

Do I have the speech?

Yeah, that you wanted to give.

Oh, you wrote the speech, and then they were like, sit down, boy.

No, I'm not.

I had a little something prepared just to get a certain amount of time.

Knock the cards out of his hand.

You want to have it on your phone?

Do you want to give the speech?

He definitely has it.

You want the speech?

How long was it?

It would have been like five minutes or something.

It doesn't make him look like a Mexican gangbanger.

Look, he's totally dressed in black with a black hat.

Like, you have real short hair, too.

He looks like a fabric, man.

Yeah, yeah.

You got the sugar skull.

Yeah, you look like little Alex.

Yeah, no, basically, my

whole speech since Kevin was going to be there was going to be it was all blowing Kevin and how basically I learned he's the ultimate Maverick.

I mean, let's be honest.

He's a guy who's.

Well, that's what we said last week, that like if he had gotten the Maverick Award,

I couldn't personally figure out what was Maverick like about your behavior.

I don't know.

What did they point to?

I don't know.

It was my behavior per se, but I think we're all Mavericks in the world of podcasting.

We started way before anybody else did back in 2009, 2010.

Nobody was doing it since then.

Podcasting, I know everyone's doing it now, but

you can say whatever you want.

It's a Maverick format.

If you can disparage people, you can see what's on it.

It's not like the radio where you got a break for commercials and shit like that.

All right.

All right, we're back.

We're back.

We're back.

Yeah, basically the gist of my speech was when

I got into all this,

I created a ClerksFan website, right?

And when I created that site, I took all this stuff.

I went out and bought the Clerks Laser disc.

It had all the extra features and shit that nobody could see it.

I ripped all that off and put it up on the website.

And it got Karen's attention.

But when I got the initial email,

I got an email from him going, hey, I saw what you did.

Call me.

And I got excited at first.

And then I was like, wait a minute.

I basically

forgot about a thing called copyright law where I put all this shit up online.

So he easily could have sent me a cease and desist.

An agent forgetting about copyright laws.

I know.

Ironic, right?

Ironic.

You know, most people wouldn't have been like, hey, take that shit down.

I own that.

Like, what are you doing?

But he went the other way and hired me instead and got to me,

got to where I am now.

He was like, I don't care if my shit's online for free.

That is a Maverick.

It is amazing, but having a website.

Probably wanted it for TV.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Either you own it or you run the website.

Well, or you just slap down money and steal it from somebody else.

So let's say, okay, let's say I concede that Ming is a Maverick, right?

Because he started podcasting boy back in the day.

Why don't we get any respect, Ming?

What is it about telling Steve T?

Well, I mean, I think if you want to get respect, you got to give respect.

Oh, God.

It's like the streets.

Yeah.

You're kidding me.

Yeah.

When was the last time you gave any respect?

To whom?

You didn't give any respect to the art, the Monmouth Arts.

You ignored five emails.

Okay, I did.

I didn't even get an email to ignore.

Good point.

I would have answered it.

Good point.

Tell us what we're doing wrong.

Why aren't we in the Maverick consideration?

Well, first of all, be honest you could be brutal okay like slay us okay with first of all it's you know it's a big fancy ceremony you had to get dressed up would you even have gone if you got invited what does dressed up mean i couldn't wear track pants no if you just track pants probably not i couldn't wear my tom brady jersey imagine you're yeah imagine you're going to a wedding or a funeral probably right like that's now i'm sorry but with funeral casual

that you're like you had to dress up no but it's a it's a gala it's it was a it was it was a gala it's a nice already i looked at like a Maverick would just show up in whatever he wanted.

Right, but was Kevin all dressed up?

He was.

He wore a suit jacket at least.

He wears that all the time.

He wore the jorts.

He did wear the jorts in the vans.

Oh, so wait.

So again, there's like if you reach a certain status, you don't have to abide by the dress code.

I mean, isn't that life?

So you're...

I can't believe you're like, again, though, you're really showing you're not a Maverick, though.

You're just back.

He's like back.

He's back with you.

you'll just do it say whatever it takes

because i get you know i i i i wear a suit jacket to a gala but i wasn't even asked about

was there an open bar there was an open bar yeah okay

okay there was indeed an open bar it was like i wish i was a member yeah right i think a body that's just i don't buy that like if we dress better we'll get awards no as women in a dressing gar would you you hate these things would you have even gone have have you had would you have dreaded going

no for For an award?

You would have looked forward to going.

Well, now that he knows he's not even allowed to give a speech, you can go up there and take it.

It's like a high school graduation where you walk up, they give you the award, you shake the hand, and you walk away, right?

Yeah.

Well, they put you up there.

They shot a whole introduction, a video introduction, and it was like a little bit of a good thing.

Oh, dude.

Did you supply it?

I didn't supply it.

Somebody else shot it.

Someone shot it for a while.

They had a professional guy come down and shoot for me.

And follow you around?

And Follow you came down to the studio, shot B-roll there.

I had to go to a place.

They shot an interview with me for a couple hours, cut it together.

This is the real deal then yeah it was cool there was a free free dinner no pizza though what do you have gone no pizza no chicken finger what was on the

you know like prime rib it's steak right it's a it's a cut of steak could he get it well done i don't that i don't know i mean they didn't ask so fish there's fish yeah it smelled funny in there again no these are things that i would have overlooked you know if i'm getting an award he he braved a hometown award too it's not like a people's choice it's not like something we have to beg the ants like please vote for us.

Right.

It's a, it's an honor bestowed.

That part was nice.

He braved a Chinese buffet the other day

during dinner hours.

So it just smelled like fish.

He made it in and out.

Wow.

And I think you're holding back, though.

I don't think you really think that the reason we're not getting any awards is because

they don't know we're reluctant to come dressed up.

They don't know that.

What's the real reason?

You know what it is.

Say it.

I mean, you're fucking, you're chomping at the bit to say it.

Your body is pretty mean-spirited.

I mean, you know, you can fucking.

Oh, did you listen to last week's app?

Absolutely.

Oh, it's a kinder, gentler.

Q ain't saying shit that's negative.

Walt jumped onto your side.

I'm glad to have you back.

Right, we got Walt pissing on cars and spitting on old ladies and curb stopping people now.

Well, I thought that was what that doesn't slapping people with pizza.

That's a maverick.

That's a maverick right there.

Slapping an old lady.

One week I'm getting lauded for growth

and

evolving.

They don't like where I've evolved.

Me.

Yeah, well,

Brian.

Well, whatever you want.

You're never hearing any flag for me.

Well, I mean, he can evolve all he wants, but the point was that you and I hadn't evolved, and that's what I disagreed with.

Well, that I didn't say that someone else had said that.

Somebody else said that, right?

Someone we don't know online.

Some nameless

person.

Yeah, I love it.

Immediate hypocrisy.

I tell him, Steve Dave, I'm shocked.

I'm so shocked.

Exactly.

Exactly.

But come on, be honest.

I think you guys have a lot of reasons because we're too mean-spirited I think so.

To win awards?

Do they listen though?

You don't even have a podcast.

What the fuck are they listening to?

I have a podcast studio.

They're awarding me for, you know, I think the Nyverk part was the fucking Chamber of Commerce shit.

That stuff.

Oh, my goodness.

That's why we need to do more with the community.

They don't take into account you going down and shooting free commercials for all of

your relationship with

you.

You put in a good word?

Yeah, like all the good work I'm doing in the community.

I can put in a good word.

Yeah.

Thank you.

It's just me shit.

I thought it it was us, man.

Now you're looking at the shit.

You guys were not anywhere around when we were shooting the commercials.

It can't be just based on the commercials.

It has to be based on lots of stuff.

Yeah, you accept the award, but me and Q want to be in the light.

Absolutely.

The roots we have at it.

So wait, what are you going to say?

Is it you that wants the award?

You yourself or tell them Steve Dave?

I'll take what I can get.

I would like to see Walt get it.

So

if Walt got a Maverick award, yeah, that would be pretty cool.

I think that would be great.

I know what you were going to say.

I have an an outside shot, but he's a shoe-in.

Oh, yeah, for sure.

Well, I live in Jersey, though.

So I wouldn't.

I'm not a shoe-in.

Again, though, it's just star fucking.

They would probably overlook it.

It's just star fucking when it comes down to it.

You know it is.

What star?

I don't have a star.

I'm a star.

I'm a star.

Yes, he's a me.

I'm a star.

He's a shining star.

And Kevin Smith is a star.

Absolutely.

And that's why he gets to dress how he wants, and you got to dress like some fucking monkey.

Yeah.

I like dressing like a monkey.

He looks like a belt.

He gets to give a speech.

Dunstan Dunstan checks it.

People were asking for our dirt.

Dunstan's awesome, man.

Dunstan's pretty dope, man.

I'm not arguing with Dunstan.

Kevin gets to give a long speech.

You got to go through the drive-thru window to get your fucking award.

Yeah.

Basically, right?

It's star fucking.

He almost missed getting his award.

He was parking Kev's car.

I didn't drive him that Ernie O'Donnell did.

What, Ernie O'Donnell is now Kevin's driver?

I mean, he drove him there, so yeah.

But full-time?

I mean,

are you willing to go on the record of saying Ernie is Kevin's full-time driver now?

I mean, amongst other things, yes.

Wow.

Wow.

No wonder we're not getting awards.

We drive ourselves.

We're for the people, of the people.

Yeah.

I mean, I can imagine.

I was like, hey, let's give Tell him Steve Davids this huge award in the community.

But let's do a Google search.

And

BrianJohnson, nj.com, paid them.

Yeah, that pictures of me with two middle fingers up that kind of stuff.

Yeah, did you?

Hey, what's this?

Do you think that would

come on?

All that would weigh in on them giving the award?

I mean, you know, in 2023, and, you know, this woke society.

Oh, he made a joke we don't like.

Let's not give him an award.

Oh, here we go.

Here we go.

What about you judging the not-so-Super Bowl?

What's that?

What about you judging the not-so-Super Bowl?

Or prancing around in

a speedo throwing NCR team.

And what's more

than making jokes that aren't that popular in the moment?

That's a fucking maverick right there.

They should give me an award on that based on that alone.

You do have a point.

Thank you.

Did they do a Google search on you?

Did they do a background check?

I imagine they did, yeah.

Yeah, know all about your heel fetish and shit.

Wearing underoos.

At least I'm not parading my wife at casino and see-through shit.

So come on, man.

Look at him.

You're the Reddit troll.

She's the Reddit troll who wrote that fucking post.

Oh, I got fake accounts all over the the place, my friend.

Yeah, you got to stop doing that shit.

That's what's costing us awards, man.

You warm white with a set of prestige.

Yeah, you're keeping me from getting some hardware.

Okay.

All right, next time I go to the casino,

she's in a fucking burqa.

All right, yeah, that'll get you points as well for sure.

Don't do that.

Don't do that in Florida.

Don't do that.

Wait till November.

I know.

I know it's hard to take.

Yeah, it is.

The truth hurts.

You You feel that sting in the back of your head?

That's jealousy.

It never hurts.

It never helps.

It only hurts.

Damn.

Did you ever think it won?

You'd be jelly of Ming Chen.

Or are you just jelly of the award?

Because obviously they'll give it to anyone.

Oh, boy.

Well, not anyone.

You guys just can't let me have it, can you?

I was wrong.

I was wrong.

I was wrong.

I told you I was ashamed of the way I behaved last week.

It was

beyond pathetic, and I want to offer an apology for

my harsh words and criticism of you.

I wholeheartedly accept your apology.

I'm awaiting from the flip-flop in another three seconds.

I'm not a flip-flop.

I accept your apology.

That's what a man does.

And I know that sometimes being a man is hard, but

it should be recognized maybe with an award.

The man award for wall flowering.

Or apologizing, you know, and not sticking to your guns when you walk in.

Who likes to apologize?

Apologizing means you fucked up.

So nobody likes it.

Nobody likes it, but it's healthy, though.

That's right.

It doesn't mean you're fucked up.

Keep your ground.

You're wrong.

Well, you're fucked up.

It's the same thing, dope.

Not really.

It sure it is.

I mean, you're the worst at it as well.

Apologizing.

Oh, my God.

He's terrible.

Has he ever apologized?

I don't know.

He'll apologize, but in a way that's sarcastic.

Well, he's the kind of guy who's like, they might say I'm wrong, but I'm not wrong.

Yeah.

Oh, my God.

Yeah.

He isn't

very,

very reluctant to ever admit that he's wrong on anything.

He will

go through hoops to show you articles from like 1990 that he saved and photos

to anything to try to avoid just saying, you know what, I was wrong.

I apologize.

Do you agree with that, Kenneth?

Or do you think that's an unfair assessment of you?

It's not.

It's in the middle.

It's not quite true, but it's also not quite false.

I don't know what that means.

Could you expand that for me?

I don't want to take Walt's accusations at face value.

You shouldn't.

Yeah,

I want to hear your take on it.

Well,

yeah, I do have articles that support my stance.

So I mean, that's not wrong, but

it doesn't necessarily mean I'm right, but it doesn't necessarily mean that I'm wrong.

I just meant about the apology thing, not about you being right.

You don't like to apologize.

I guess I don't like to apologize, and some people don't take my apologies as being serious, even though they are, despite how rare they are.

I would like to hear this speech, though.

I know you got it on you.

I know it's in your phone.

Don't you want the opportunity?

Why is he getting all red?

I don't know.

He's got like that ocean.

He's got the Oakie thing going on.

You are all like

salmon-colored.

I'm not red.

I'm swimming upstream.

Yeah, why are you so reluctant?

I'm going to be to spawn this guy.

I'm not red.

Let me.

You have a form that's primed to hear it.

Your ears are like a different shade of pink right now.

You're so nervous.

Because that fucking hat's on so tight.

That's what I miss.

I miss that good hair.

I love Ming Chen's hair.

It's the best hair.

I wish I had Ming Chen hair.

It's trying to keep up with you guys.

You really want to hear the stupid speech?

Yeah, I want to hear it.

I want to hear it.

It was like right up on his phone to begin with.

It's sad.

If you don't deliver it, it's sad that you go up there and you're ready to talk and they're like, all right, thanks.

And here's an opportunity.

And then come to the Steve is offering you to read this speech that no one would got to hear.

That now, you know, at least some people get to hear your thoughts and your feelings and how this moved you and touched you.

And you're not going to get interrupted.

People aren't going to have the orchestra start playing just to get you off the stage.

Let's not get carried away.

There might be some interruptions.

I mean, who else is offering you the chance to read the speech?

Nobody wanted to hear it.

I thought I was getting away with not having to give this speech.

Oh, you didn't want to really?

No, not really.

I mean, you know, like you said,

go up, get the award.

No one wants to hear the speech.

We do.

We do.

Of course, you guys do.

I'm sure Kevin does too, if you're fallating them the whole time.

I pretty much am.

It's like that scene in Police Academy.

Yeah.

You really want to hear this thing?

Of course we do.

Why are we keep asking you if we don't want to hear it?

All right.

right.

All right.

All right.

All right.

Thank you, everybody, for this award.

I wanted to thank Mom Authorities for bestowing this huge honor on me.

First of all, I wanted to congratulate them on 50 amazing years.

50 years.

Would holding the award make it better easier for you?

Oh, shout out to you.

Oh, it's in the box right there?

Oh, you brought it?

I mean, I brought the award.

Of course.

You just did that to rub it in my face.

Look, you really did.

You just brought it here to rub it in our face.

Of course I did.

That's a beautiful award.

That would look so good in our case.

Of course.

Wait a minute.

Do you think I should treat it like the Stanley Cup?

I don't touch it until I have actually won it.

I mean, I didn't bring white gloves with me, so yeah, go ahead.

I think it's bad luck if I'm not.

No, no, if you touch it, it means you manifest that you may be able to hold it one day.

It's a beautiful.

What does it say on it?

Walt.

It really looks like a giant butt plug.

It does.

That is a pretty good one.

It looks like the tier of...

It looks like the tier.

I mean, I'm talking about if it was smaller.

Yeah.

That would be one that could get in there, right?

Or it looks like the tear of someone who wasn't allowed to deliver their speech.

It says Maverick Award, Ming Chen.

Yes.

It's made up of the tears of all the people who didn't win it.

Yeah.

It is shaped like a tear drop.

These are my tears that made this tear.

Or if you put it on the side, it looks like something that would swim right into Ming's mouth.

Oh, yeah, little.

Look at that tail.

Is this why we're not getting awards?

Just kind of ryeballed humor.

So how do we conduct ourselves?

Like, how do we change course?

Don't put it away.

Look at it.

That's all now it's hard.

But how do we change course now to try to win an award?

Like, we can't make jokes like that, you're saying.

I mean,

it doesn't help.

So, what should we be talking about, you think?

In all honesty, like, you know, give us constructive criticism.

I mean, you know, it could uplift the community.

Maybe.

Yeah, I know you've been helping local businesses.

Is that engaging, though, to the audience, though, if we just keep talking about what we've done for the community for for six?

Really, you think that people will turn in?

Yeah, well, you know, how many people have you helped out?

How many people have you inspired?

That's what people want to hear is just us blowing ourselves?

Pretty much, yeah.

You really think our audience, the TSD ants, want to hear us just blessing themselves?

No, but they don't.

They might want to hear us try.

That's absolutely not what they went well.

So, no.

I mean, you're going to change.

You're going to change everything just to win awards now?

Well, just one.

This one.

Then we can go back to being our awful selves.

Didn't have that podcast award that that dude in the basement gave to you?

We didn't get any dinner.

We didn't get any salmon or whatever.

It was fish.

Prime rib.

Prime rib, my mai.

Yeah.

Maybe we got to start our own award show, Walt.

I had an idea a long time ago for a live award show called the Tesdes,

where it's not just for us,

it's for like

the Dundees.

Pretty much.

Yeah, pretty much the Dundees.

The Tesdes,

where it's not just for the three of us, but like

we do get awards.

We would definitely get an award for every award.

Not only a group award, but an award for each of us.

Oh, okay, okay.

We could spray paint some pod pals.

Gold.

Don't we have like there's no trophy place in the world?

Oh, there are so many ants who work for trophy shops that we would have an unlimited amount of people offering their services if we were going to do it.

But I ask you.

We got a bowling alley right here.

Yeah,

is there

something hollow about giving yourself an award, though?

Because

the academy, I mean, everything's a circle jerk.

What difference does it make?

Come on, there are some awards that are not, though, that are much more meaningful to people than

maybe

which ones, like the Pulse, the Pulitzer, the Nobel Prize, sure.

But that's like, we're never getting one of those.

You know, surely you know that.

What do they give that out for?

I think, like, significantly helping the course of humanity.

Literature.

If I were to have

rounded up all the emails I get about how TSD helps people,

I could make something that makes the Encyclopedia Britannica look like a fucking pamphlet.

That's powerful.

It is unbelievable how many people say we help.

But like, why not?

What difference?

So it makes a difference to you whether it's an award that you make for yourself or someone else gives it to you.

Because somebody else did it.

You know, I didn't design the award.

I didn't go pick it up.

I didn't pay for it.

You have somebody else's approval, too.

It's like somebody else is like, hey, man, this guy's worthwhile.

Like, it's tough to keep telling yourself that you're worthwhile, giving yourself awards and shit with nobody else recognizing you.

What if we threw the Tezzys

and had an audience

choice award?

And then it's like, then

the ants

will vote.

I got to imagine.

You'll win.

Well, if I go to win that one, there's no hope of me ever winning any other one.

If I don't win that one, we'll have our own Maverick award.

I do love the bowling alley idea, though.

Yeah.

Yeah.

I do.

That is

a TSD.

Like, that is just a party of fantasies.

It just screams TSD to have it in a bowling alley.

Yeah.

Got some good chili fries there.

Yeah, I agree.

Like, no big theater, no, like, gala-type stuff, but

we can dress however we want.

Tom Brady jersey.

We could call the Four Colored Demons Maverick Award.

Oh, we'll have a bunch of awards, but that'll be the Maverick Award.

Okay.

All right.

Somebody has to come up with all the awards then.

How many categories?

How many awards do you want?

10.

I'll come here next week with 10 awards for you.

Okay.

Give this to me.

Give it to me, coach.

Absolutely.

It's your ball.

I'm going to do it.

I'm going to come up with 10 awards.

Either you run with it.

We absolutely will not come up with it while driving here next week.

We'll put it in some.

Oh, shit.

God damn it.

Helen.

This ball is awarded.

What do some awards?

Sounds like a racks of awards?

Siri, what is a list of 10 awards?

Well,

we already have two.

We already have the People's Choice.

Ant's Choice.

Ant's Choice.

And the Four Call of Deems Maverick Award.

Okay, so you only got eight more.

Eight more.

All right.

All right.

Easy.

I love this.

Easy.

I think you can do more than 10 because you can award like, like, you can award like...

you know, funniest moment with, you know, a guest or funny, like that kind of stuff.

Right.

I mean, there are people, best guests, there are are people who have an encyclopedic knowledge of this show that can definitely go back and remember way more than we ever can.

Curator, groupie,

there's a bunch of people.

Already, the awards have come to me.

Like, we could have Chris Ladondo present the Ladondolla Award.

No,

the Social Awareness Award.

Where Ladondo decides who is the so-called socially aware?

Yeah.

All right.

I think I got that one locked down.

The SJW Award.

No,

we You can't make it seem like a negative.

Right.

You know what I mean?

We want to be positive.

Yeah, sure.

There's three awards.

This is going to be a big night for us.

You dress whatever you want.

I will.

Trap pants, baby.

Yeah,

that's what you have to wear.

Oh, I got plenty of those.

Yeah, tuxedo t-shirt, yeah.

In the wardrobe department.

I like this.

This award ceremony in and of itself is a maverick.

Film it all and put it on Patreon.

Yeah.

And then give the big middle finger to the mom of arts.

Right?

No, no, no.

Tell them that

that's something we shouldn't do, right?

Well, I mean, that's not going to increase.

You shouldn't put it in anybody's faces, right?

Well, not their face.

Let's just celebrate

somebody else's face.

Without putting down somebody else.

What happens is we get it out there.

We get it out there.

I don't give the middle finger.

We get it out there that there was an award ceremony.

We won all these awards.

Then they'll take notice of who are these guys?

Who are these young mavericks?

I'm writing these awards that we have down so far.

I like this award.

I'll keep in touch with with you this week.

I'll come up with some with you.

You should do one for a listener, too, like one who spreads the most

goodwill amongst the

community of ants.

Okay, yeah.

That's a tough one.

We have a lot of really good ambassadors.

But maybe the curator, if he wins it, I'm not saying he's a show and I'm not saying he has my vote.

He does.

But

maybe he would even come down from Georgia to accept the award.

Come up.

All right.

Like the pheromone award, because that's how ants spread with pheromones.

Ooh.

Yeah.

I like that.

Yeah.

All right.

Yeah, John.

I guess you'll have a celebrity presenter, Sunday Jeff, Maxwell.

Yeah.

Yeah.

I mean, it's, yeah, well, it'll make it a big event.

Wow.

I like this.

All right.

We'll rent those portable spotlights that we could put in the parking lot.

Yeah, you don't have to get them with some flashlights.

It looks like he works at an airport.

Airport Plaza.

Airport Plaza.

All right.

So, what do I got so far?

We got People's Choice, the Ladondo Social Awareness, the 4-Call Team and Maverick Award.

What else did we say?

Maybe there's an award for some of the people who work

on our projects, you know, like

the VA cue, the video and audio crew.

Technical awards that we give away before the event starts.

That aren't filmed.

Yeah.

Excellence in editing.

They just flash by the screen really quick.

There's a lot of potential here, but it could cost us a fortune, though, with all these.

No, not the way we do things.

No?

I don't think it'll I think we could do it w cost effectively, and then you turn around and you put on Patreon.

We get like a brother.

It's a huge thing.

We get like a little brother P-Touch and do the labels for all the trophies.

Yeah.

And then, so if anybody out there, and I know there are plenty of ants who work for trophy shops,

send me an email and,

you know,

I guess we'll have a, you could bid for the

for the,

you know, the job.

You know, who could come in with the the lowest bid?

Is going to get the gig of

$10.

Didn't that happen with the Purveyor's Trophy?

It's fucking falling apart, President.

The Purveyor's Trophy, it's not the fault of the person who sent that in.

It's because we trot it around everywhere.

We do bring it around.

It sits in the back of my car for like weeks.

Now, when I take a turn, when I take a turn, it's like a flying door.

So

if it looks like it went through hell, it's because it has, because it's been well traveled.

No, Ming, this award, you still have to read the rest of your.

Yeah, Yeah, I guess I couldn't get away with it, huh?

This award, did you post a picture of it on your Instagram?

Yeah.

Okay.

Yeah, of course.

Holding it, of course.

Where does it live when it comes to it?

I have like a curio cabinet at home.

At home.

Yeah.

What did the missus say?

Oh, she came with me.

She actually came on public.

What did she say on?

What did she think when you told her you're winning the award?

Of course.

She was like, wait, what is this?

I can't wait to hear your speech.

She never said that.

No.

You guys are the only ones saying that.

I thought I could get away with it.

Go ahead.

Thank you, Mom Atharts.

Congratulations on 50 amazing years.

I have to admit,

when they told me about this award, they sent it to me in an email, and I thought it was spam.

I ignored it.

I thought there wasn't any possible way that anyone would be giving me an award, much less one called the Maverick Award.

Humble.

Finally,

after about five or six emails that I ignored, I basically got one one going, Hey, listen, do you want this thing or not?

Because if you don't, we'll give it to a lesser comic book man like Mike Sapsic.

Oh, was he there?

He wasn't there.

His brother was though, so I knew it would get back to him.

I knew we'd get back to him.

So finally, I realized this thing was real and I replied, and I couldn't be more honored and gracious to accept this award.

Hold on, real quick.

How'd that go over in the room?

Did they know who you were talking about?

I didn't.

There was no speech.

Oh, that's right.

Oh, yeah.

This isn't a speech.

Gracious or grateful, you said.

You couldn't be more.

Or grateful.

Grateful.

Okay.

Gracious.

Grateful, whatever.

Well, two different words.

Go ahead.

It's hard to accept an award called the Maverick Award without giving a shout-out to the man who taught me to be a Maverick.

He's here in this room today.

I want to point over, give a big shout-out to Kevin Smith,

the guy who got me to where I am today.

For anybody who doesn't know, I got in touch with Kevin and contacted Kevin because I started a fan website way back in 1995.

This is a website I built basically by stealing a bunch of content that I pulled off of a laser disc and put it online so everybody else could see it.

And

when he found the website, he sent me an email, which basically said, hey, here's my number.

Call me tomorrow.

And at first I got excited.

I was like, the man.

I got in contact with him.

But then the more I thought about it, I was like, wait, maybe

I forgot about a little thing called copyright law, which in my country doesn't exist.

So I thought it was.

I'm going to have Declan add the laughs and applause to this.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah.

I forgot a little notes.

I forgot a little about a thing about copyright law.

So sorry.

Sorry, man.

That's it.

All right, all right.

Listen to the rest.

I want to hear it.

I'm in the middle.

I was wondering if I had to set my computer on fire, throw it out the window.

Luckily, next day I called Kevin, and instead of telling me to remove everything,

telling me that I violated copyright, he could have easily send me a cease and desist, he hired me instead.

So if that's not the definition of a Maverick, I don't know what is.

A Maverick is someone who creates freely and without rules, and

that's what...

That's what me and Kevin do today through the Art of Podcast.

Me and Kevin now.

There you go.

Hey, man, I got to drop the names.

He won the award.

He won the Maverick Award, not Kevin.

Yeah.

He walked out of that room with just as many awards as Kevin did.

He did, and just as much of a Maverick as Kevin is.

Yeah.

According to them.

So I want to tell everybody sitting here to go out, do something, keep doing everything that you love doing, especially the arts.

Definitely go for it.

Go out there and be a Maverick.

Also, answer your freaking emails.

Good night, everybody.

Thank you for this award.

All right, Meg.

Now,

if you had that speech ready and I said, let me punch it up for you, and then read it blind once you go up there, would you trust me?

No, but I wouldn't let you do it anyway.

Only because he knows you.

Yeah, I heard about your bachelor, your uh, your best man's speech, and uh, yeah, you made you should have saw you made the mistake once already.

I know, I've learned.

Mrs.

Five never heard that story before.

Oh, she hadn't?

And because Frank is officiating a wedding, right, right.

And we are out to dinner with the Franks, and

Deb said, don't make any jokes about the groom being on methadone and having to have kicked

heroin.

And

Mary's face was so bewildered.

And she goes, Oh, you don't know?

Oh, you never heard about what he said at my wedding?

She was like shocked.

Why?

It was Mary's shocked.

Mary was shocked that he said that.

Even in retrospect.

No.

Look back, and I'm like, I'm shocked.

Yeah.

That's funny.

Yeah,

Frank's a little nervous about it.

Oh, yeah.

He should be.

I gave him some advice, though.

I hope it'll help him.

You know, he's a, Giddam is

recognized by New Jersey as somebody who can marry people.

And

the United States government.

Your success rate is, is it at 25%?

Yeah.

25%.

What do you mean?

Success rate.

Well, that are still married.

That are still married.

Marriages that he officiated.

How many

divorced?

When has he done these?

In the 90s, right?

No, 2000s, yeah, like the 2000s through 2015.

And why did people ask you to do it?

One was it was a very good friend of mine.

She needed to get married to her husband so they could get base housing.

And so I did that ceremony.

You don't need to, like, why not?

You don't need to reveal that.

You could just be like, it was a very good friend of mine and move on.

Yeah.

They go wet out of necessity.

Another one was a friend of one of my exes.

Who are scammers?

Needed to get a green card.

Okay.

Another was a friend of one of my ex's.

They.

Why did they turn to you, do you think?

Because my ex recommended me.

Why do you think she recommended you?

You put a lot of thought and time into it?

I think I do.

You don't charge a fee, right?

I charge dinner.

So basically free.

Yeah.

So they got to feed me and or give me, you know, food and drink.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Depending on the the venue.

And uh were they happy with the ceremonies?

Oh, yeah, they were very

good.

There was a listener who showed up here and proposed to his gal at the general store and they wanted to have the wedding here and Giddam was going to officiate it.

Really?

But I got I got sick and she was sending me all these emails like, we're ready to do this.

We're ready to do this.

And I wasn't answering anything at that point.

You know, I could like, I thought I was like, is it an award?

Fuck it.

I was like, I'm dying, fucking, I don't give a fuck about your wedding right now.

Like, I'm literally dying, I think.

So, like, you know, figure it out.

And, but, yeah, so that I thought that would have been sweet, though.

You know, get him officiating a wedding here in the general store.

Oh, I would have come to that.

But

I went through my archive.

I found all my wedding books and mailing them off to

Frank.

Frank.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Frank is so cheap.

He wouldn't buy the diploma that he's supposed to have, the paperwork.

Really?

Yeah, he registered online.

No, it's not free all the paperwork you know is a fee 35 35

yeah but it's like it's just a certificate like with all the they don't check but no it's a whole package you get

to do for the marriage license to make sure you're legally married i fucking i married i married uh brian and uh i don't even remember signing married

no you eventually did the the wedding planner fucked up and didn't have him sign it didn't have you sign it remember i had to actually bring it to you oh that's right okay so you weren't legally married the night you defloured her.

I know.

I know.

Her parents are still pissed about it.

They were going crazy.

You hung the bloody sheet outside the bed now.

Dude, I thought I was good to go.

But legally, though, you know, you were living in sin until BQ signed that.

BQ signed it, yeah.

And long before that, too.

I actually did.

I didn't get to do it because I was like, it's going to make too much of a mess.

But I did bring a sheet with me, and I had red food dye with the caro syrup.

I love it.

And I was going to hang it out the window, but I'm like, I'm going to get it all over everything.

And it's just, they're not going to be happy.

But I'm going to say, I love it.

So you played it safe on your wedding, but on mine, you're just like, he's on heroin, everybody.

I was so disappointed when I heard that Deb wanted you to yell something and then you didn't do it.

I was like, oh, he should have done it.

It would have been great.

He wanted you to, she wanted you to say something, like, yell, tell him, Steve Dave, at the end, or something.

And I think she wanted to say, also, make some bizarre out of left field.

He's on heroin.

People would have believed it, though.

He's on not heroin.

Grandmaster turns around.

I know.

We all know.

Yeah.

We're doing it anyway.

He promised he'll get better.

How do you think I got him here?

Should we be making jokes like that, Mingno?

At the awards ceremony?

No, no, just in general on our podcast.

Is that too mean?

I mean, as long as they're being mean to each other, because I don't know.

Well, that's okay, yeah.

It's okay then.

That's okay.

It's really hard to navigate.

It's helping to erase the stigma.

Well, the rules are constantly changing.

You don't know what you can say, when you can say it.

Oh, the shit that you couldn't say last week, it's fine to say it today.

But like, it's hard, though.

Like, in a world where you're trying to garner awards, though,

it's a minefield.

Because

you want to still

have

content that people want to listen to, but you don't want to have content, though, that's mean, though.

Right.

And punches down.

It's tough.

It's a fine line.

It is.

We can save that shit for off the air when we're hanging out and all we do is punch down.

My arms hurt.

All we do is punching down.

I think you guys are fine making fun of each other, but once you can get it.

There's no line that we can cross when we

about each other.

I like that.

Punching sideways.

Is that something that you just made up?

No, I've said it in interviews about a practical joker for years.

Have you coined it, though?

I doubt I coined it.

That's really good.

I never heard it before.

It's award-worthy.

But so is there a line that we can be honest, though.

Is there a line we can cross where we're making fun of each other?

And like you, as somebody who comes in,

you haven't been here in quite a while.

Right.

You would not be

up for the same treatment then as us three.

Like you need to be treated

differently, but more kid gloves as a guest.

What have you treated me with kid gloves?

I'm trying to be a little bit more like, you know, like Ming Chen, like a Maverick.

Right.

Like,

what are the rules?

I would have to treat you more like a choll dollar.

I would treat you like a porcelain doll, right?

A porcelain vagina.

A China doll, if you will.

Like a Ming Vas.

I thought that would be very...

You know, that would be a misstep in the eyes of Monmouth County Arts if I were to call you a China doll.

I think a China doll is an art.

It's like an art.

But I thought they couldn't.

Did you call them a China doll offensive?

David Bowie song?

China Girl?

How about I like a Ming vase?

Oh,

okay.

Yeah, if I treat you like a delicate flower, I should be like a little pussy.

Well, don't do that.

See, you're giving me mixed messages, man.

Don't do that.

He doesn't want you in competition.

Yeah, I'm really worried about you guys.

I'm looking, I'm constantly checking my rearview mirror for you guys.

We're in your fucking blind spot.

I learned from the masculine.

You're not going to see me.

If we want to keep it like free of laughs, free of any of that kind of stuff, I'm going to go back and study some Mike and Ming shows back in the day.

That's step one.

Yeah.

So you're telling me in your whole history of podcasting with Mike, you don't have any content that you're like, man, I hope nobody ever hears that.

Don't be specific.

It should be every show.

What are you talking about?

Here we go again.

Something that

you're like, boy, if they knew about that, this award would be

smoke.

I'm sure I've said many things I've regretted and totally forgot about.

So you are admitting right here, right now, that you're not this squeaky, clean.

I never said I was.

They gave an award to a guy who espoused pot for over a decade.

So surely I don't think there's anything Ming has done that's worse than that, right?

What do you mean?

So your feelings are that

they overlooked that?

Oh, yeah.

That isn't.

I don't think that's a big deal.

It's legal in New Jersey.

awards.

Well,

now that it's legal,

but I mean, if you're looking for a squeaky, clean image, that's certainly not squeaky-clean, right?

Right.

Can the awards be retroactively taken back?

Oh, I'm sure they can.

If you want to start a petition,

like Miss America?

Change.org.

Start digging up dirt on me now.

You're going to have to listen to all those Mike and Bing show episodes.

I'd rather you get the awards.

Is it worth it?

Ming Chen is the next Vanessa Williams.

All the sporting shows.

Oh, my my God.

What happened to all the sporting shows?

They're gone.

It's like lost.

They're in a landfill with Atari video games and Funko Pops.

Yeah, they're in a landfill in Alamogordo, New Mexico.

But where did they go?

They're completely gone.

They're been scrubbed from the internet.

I don't know.

I have no idea.

And who owns them?

You don't have copies of all the old masters?

I have them somewhere, but

I remember them as being some very solid shows that probably shouldn't see the light of day again.

There was some stuff in there that we were...

That was back in the wild days.

The wild days.

No, no, no, no.

I'm not talking about

the days.

I'm not talking about the morning shows that we did when Kevin took a break.

No, no, no, not the ones that.

I mean, the curator has the ones we were on.

Okay.

You guys were on.

I'm talking about the fucking infinite episodes that you guys did that are no longer on the internet.

That just

Mike and Ming.

They've been scrubbed from the internet.

Oh, really?

Yeah.

Like, no one can find them.

Yeah, the old morning shows.

There's somewhere out there.

There's literally thousands of episodes, right?

Yeah.

I don't know about thousands.

There's hundreds for sure.

At least 500 right i don't know about 500 four three four hundred maybe gone just gone nobody can access them now

you know i mean you're sitting on a gold mine of fucking content that people will pay top dollar for

if you release it in a box set yeah an anthology like uh like like let zeppelin and like kiss

like when people are like like they misuse the term gaslighting this is being used correctly right here

but no if you like if you promote it as like, you know, scrub from the internet, find out why these episodes are nowhere to be found.

You know, you really play up the...

What the mama thoughts didn't want you to hear.

Can it come in a commitment of trash can?

Is that exactly where they belong?

Oh,

man.

Don't punch down, asshole.

Oh, sideways, sideways, sideways.

Dude,

I can take it from him.

Actually, yeah, he is punching up.

He's nowhere else to be found.

Just know, or you can't punch down.

It's impossible.

Left it up 148.

Laughing up.

Buff it up.

All right, now we've got to make sure Giddam gets an award.

Let me write this down.

Gift bags.

I wrote that down for the awards.

You know how the Academy Awards have, like, so maybe we can get some sponsors.

Yeah, 5010, put it out right now.

Yeah, that way.

We can get some My Undies in there.

We can get some stuff from Trendy Technology.

I'll talk to Mary Beth.

I'll tell her her this is what we're doing.

Use children's clothing?

Yeah.

The yarn lady.

No, she is not.

She's not.

Never mind.

All right, writing that down.

Can I interrupt for just a moment?

Sure.

We have a word from a sponsor, old sponsor.

They came back.

Oh, really?

One that we haven't done in a while?

We haven't done in

quite a while.

Sherry's Berries.

No, Sherry's Berries is never coming back.

Nature Burrow.

Burrow.

Burrow.

No.

Nobody we offended.

That coat.

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Oh, nature couch.

They're back.

I bought a burrow couch recently, and I used our old code.

It worked.

Oh, I thought you said the old coat still works.

No code coat.

That's why I said couch.

You're confusing burrow as a coat manufacturer.

Not at all.

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Oh,

wow.

They are back.

Nice.

They finally fucking wised up.

They're like, you know what?

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Right.

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Look, everybody, every guy, I don't care who you are, except for maybe Walt Flanagan, at one point or another has been like, oh, God, why is this happening to me?

This never happens to you.

You know what I was saying?

Why does it happen to me?

About it.

I was talking to my buddy who who lives in California, and he was telling me that he gets them by quote-unquote

the bucket load.

Oh, yeah.

He loves them.

And I was like,

I haven't really had

a problem in that area yet.

And he goes, it's not.

He goes, you're thinking about it wrong.

He goes, it's not.

He goes, I can get a boner anytime I want.

He goes, I take one of these.

It's like a teenage boner.

Yeah.

He's like, it is so rock hard and so fucking.

He goes, you don't even know.

He goes, you don't remember what those boners feel like.

I thought it was all about getting and maintaining, which I can, but he was his point was: it's like it's about the density.

I think maybe

I'm going to have to sign up for some Bluetooth, see how it goes.

Go for it, man, because the postman's going to bring it to you.

All right.

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Nice to have you back.

I didn't run up by Mary Beth, but I have an ad.

Oh, okay.

All right.

Let's hear it.

Hi, I'm Walt Flanagan.

And I'm a lifelong comic book fanatic and former cast member of the hit AMC show Comic Book Men.

And when I need the most recent Marvel Masterworks or that new hard-to-find omnibus, there's only one place I'd go.

Tim's Corner Comics.

Tim's back.

Tim's Corner Comics is located at 1303 30th Street, Rock Island, Illinois.

Zip code 61201, and they will be hosting their annual fall sale on October 21st.

Dope deals that you need to take advantage of.

25% off action figures, statues, and other collectibles.

50% off trade paperbacks, hardcovers, and backstock comics.

That includes current bronze and silver age issues.

They'll have Bill Douglas there, Draw Me Bill, doing character sketches for those in attendance.

So if you live near the Illinois-Iowa border, you won't want to miss this event.

So check out Tim's Comics.

It's where this former comic book man gets his books.

It's where you can too.

Call Tim at 309-794-033 or email them at Tim's Cornercomics at gmail.com to place an order today.

All right, Tim.

Tim.

Got some quality shirts he makes.

Again, I don't believe that Alex has sold his cabins yet.

So

if you want to go on the cruise at a discounted rate, Alex, our buddy, is selling his cabins.

You can't go.

ijcruise33 at gmail.com.

Go check that out.

I also have my very first notice because I knew Ming was coming in.

It's like the people want to know, dot, dot, dot, whose dick did you suck?

For the award or for the award?

To get on the cruise, or like, you gotta be more specific, man.

Yeah, it's my pleasure to have you on the cruise, bud.

Speaking of comic shops, though, you still

do you still have an ownership in Golden Sword?

Coral Sword, yes.

Oh, Coral Sword.

Coral Sword.

Golden Sword is what you get.

You have to take a blue chip.

Yeah, 1318 Telephone Road, Houston, Texas, everybody.

Yes, I do have a stake in it.

Doing very well.

Nice.

Yeah, if you want to visit the Ultimate Comics and Gaming and Streaming Cafe, go to Coral Sword, 1318 Telephone Road, the heart of Southeast Houston, Texas.

Nice.

Yeah, doing good.

Doing good.

Gaming, huh?

Gaming.

Oh, gaming.

Gaming, sorry.

Gaming.

There it is.

My mistake.

You do gaming, board gaming, cardboard.

I'm giving award to that, Jimmy.

You want to play Friday Night Magic?

Go to Coral Sword.

When are we playing TSD and D?

I heard them talking about it last night.

Last night.

All right.

I'm really chomping at the bit here.

Our dungeon master was here last night, and I told him that you're chomping at the bit and you want to be an elf warrior.

Elf Warrior, Fistamesh, the Elf Warrior.

All you got to do is email me free Sundays or Mondays in November or because I think October is pretty much done here for you guys.

I know you're going away, but in November, then.

Let me put that on my to-do list.

Yeah, I told him he's writing up a little script right now: you as the Elf Warrior.

Great.

Dragons.

And what dates?

Sundays?

Sundays.

Sundays in the evening, Mondays,

anytime, really, Mondays.

Okay.

And while they're figuring out their schedule, if you want to see Q play

TSDND, there's only one way to do it.

Let's go to patreon.com/slash tellemsteve dave

and sign up.

All far more than money.

It's worth far more than money.

You know, there's so many new shows on there.

We've launched.

I sold comics.

I sold comics.

But Ning Chen is a cast member.

Did you get any feedback for any?

Yeah, everyone loves it.

I know about any blowback from anybody.

I haven't heard.

No, no.

I haven't heard.

No, nobody.

I'm sure it's gone back to.

Nobody was like, what the fuck?

Not that I've heard of.

No.

Have you seen any of the old guys?

Any of the old?

Not in a while.

No.

Not in a while.

When's the last time you were at the store?

Maybe like a month ago.

Oh, okay.

So relatively.

Relatively, yeah.

Okay.

And if you are going to sign up for Patreon, make sure you do it not at the end of the month, but at the beginning of the month.

Because otherwise it charges you again at the beginning of the month.

You stupid fuck.

We almost double charged you out.

Let people sign up when they want.

I'm trying to look at it.

But everyone's doing well.

I haven't seen anybody in close to two years.

Yeah, I believe everyone's doing well.

Nice.

Business is.

Sometimes they ask about me.

No, I haven't heard Ray Muttered in there.

How often do they talk about him during the day?

Walt?

Multiple times per day.

Remember when Walt was here?

Yeah, man.

We miss Walt being here.

Oh, they did.

Good old days.

Oh, I don't know.

I do miss them, so it's nice to hear that they miss me, too.

He never really said that.

You talk about the stash?

Yeah.

Yeah.

You said nobody misses him.

No, that's what I, yeah.

Oh, you're being.

Oh, I thought you said, you missed me.

No, I haven't heard it.

I haven't heard her name anymore.

Okay, that's awkward.

I don't miss them either.

It's awkward because I just said I missed them too.

But you were being phony, so it's okay.

No, no, I wasn't being phony.

Oh, you were?

I do miss them.

Keep it going.

That's how you win awards.

Keep it going.

Keep it going.

I'm on the right track.

You're on the right track.

Yeah.

Yeah, okay.

Yeah, I miss those guys dearly.

And the old gang.

Well, who is there from the old gang?

It's just Sunday Jeff, right?

Oh, and Johnny and Marie.

Oh, Johnny.

I forgot about Johnny.

And Carol.

How's Carol doing?

I miss her.

You know, I don't know, but I'm sure she's fine.

I'm sure she's fine.

Oh, man.

Mom, if Archie's going to hear this, we're going to get an award.

If you see her.

He deserves one for this.

Like I said.

Academy Award.

We got to get together for lunch or something.

Definitely before the year.

You know, I'll join you for that lunch.

Free touch.

And, you know, just continue.

You're going to pass that on to him, Mink?

No,

I'll join you for lunch.

Yeah, I'll pass that on.

I don't join you.

Tell her, please.

It'll be great.

Maybe we can invite her to Archie.

This fucking chasing awards is hard shit.

I know, right?

It's hardly worth it.

Joe, so now you can admit I earned it.

Holy shit, man.

You're fucking sweating.

I don't have to ask Walt this question.

Is he any closer to an award?

I probably am, right?

Maybe a millimeter.

Don't tell me all that fucking is out the window.

It was all for nothing.

No, no, no.

We use a P word here, progress.

Forward progress.

You say, pussy.

Well, it feels like I gotta.

Well, there's that too.

Bend the will.

There is that, too.

And act like a fucking.

Yeah, just show us your veg.

We'll give you an award.

I can't believe how much fun it is having Ming here, man.

I've missed having you in.

He's my favorite guest.

And we've had some good guests in here.

I never even consider him a guest.

I just consider him part of the show, and it's been so long.

Well, when they did the

kiss stuff, Ming, you were the fourth guy, right?

When Kevin, didn't Kevin do it, the rock and roll over.

Yeah, the patch.

Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.

I mean, I didn't ask to be put on there.

I don't know who put that on there, but uh, Kevin did.

Oh, you did?

Okay, well, great.

Thanks, Kevin.

I was on there, too.

So, you were also like an unofficial fourth man.

Yeah, guys.

You, Hitler, Giddam.

Yeah, I'm a great company.

Great company.

Wow.

What are you up to?

Like, what is the days?

What is the days?

And how are you feeling your life these days?

Weekdays, run in three studios.

Yeah.

Name the addresses.

Yeah, like

I got one in Red Bank, two blocks from Chanson Bob Sea Crestasha called A Shared Universe.

One over in Bellworks over at Holmedale, and one in the basement of the Monmouth Mall.

What?

Yeah.

Monmoth Mall?

Still going strong, huh?

You didn't hear about that?

You're in the Monmouth Mall?

Yeah.

That's fucking...

He's the last guy in the Monmouth Mall.

He's only over in the mall that they keep talking about knocking down, but yes.

Right, but still.

So that is fucking.

You know how...

The dream when I was growing up was like to have a spot in the mall, and you did it.

Yeah.

Dude, I was wrong.

Even in the basement?

Even in the.

Oh, it's not, you can't walk into the basement.

No, it's not next to the subterranean.

Yeah, it's not next to the Burger King and the Chick-fil-A and the sunglasses.

You have to put a key into an elevator and it takes you down.

No, there's a staircase.

How did you get that?

One of our clients got a job down there, and there turned out to be a secret studio down there.

Oh, the pirate radio?

Can I?

You don't have to give me figures.

Okay.

But how are you able to fucking float three locations so close to one another

and still make it work?

How do you float that many months?

He borrowed money from me for lunch.

They're all far enough away that they don't compete with each other.

Red Bank, Eaton Town, and Melbourne.

That was a little closer, but

they're all within.

Like 20 minutes.

Yeah, that's seemingly...

I would think that's rather close to another.

But how do you float?

But it depends.

You come in 20 minutes from Belmar, you're going to hit the mall.

You're coming 20 minutes from Red Ridge.

You're going to hit Belwest.

But it works out then that two people want to record a podcast at the same time.

They can each go to a different studio.

Right, that's true.

Okay.

But how do you float those monthly nuts?

Three of them.

I make deals here and there.

How do you juggle those nuts?

I make deals, and

we help everybody else.

I was about to say, I was about to tag up on that, but I was like, I want a fucking winner award.

I am not going to tag up on

Z fucking softballs.

It's influencing them like the shining.

You see me?

It was like my neck fucking.

I could see, yeah,

your eyes change, and you open your mouth a little bit, and then you're like, like, no.

Chuggled nuts.

Juggling nuts.

I'm waiting for him to grab it and call it his precious.

The way he keeps staring at it.

And you are now the sole owner of shared universities.

I am.

You're not sharing it with anybody.

No, I'm the sole owner.

Is that legal?

Like, you have paid.

No, I don't know.

We sign papers.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

All right.

Now, do you need investors?

Yes, I do.

Wow,

I would still invest.

I'd still look to be an investor.

Amazing.

All right.

Drop those papers.

We've said that before, though, and you've never 51%.

What kind of percentage do you want?

Would you be interested to start out with?

Is this like Dragon's Den?

You know, I'm a

Shark Tank.

I'm part owner of Joe DeRose's sandwich shop.

Joey Rose's.

Oh, are you really?

It's a great place.

It's a worthy investment.

It's a great place.

Joey Rosa's.

And I wish I was more of an owner.

I think I'm like a low percentage.

And

you're seeing a return on your investment monthly?

You know,

I got a sandwich the other day.

I had a couple of sandwiches.

That was pretty good.

But it's a great bar.

Okay.

And I'm part owner there.

But so I don't know.

So

I wouldn't want to be like, I don't want to have a voice in the say,

but I want to feel like, you know, I own some.

I don't want like one percent.

Like your picture on the wall, maybe.

Something.

Just, yeah, something.

You know, I don't want to be a 1%

owner.

That's like.

Just dip your toe to see how it goes, though, right?

Well, how would you figure that, man?

Like, how would you figure if you have him invest, it's like you invest X amount of dollars.

That gives him how much percentage of the company?

And then what if he starts bossing you around and shit?

I'll figure that out.

I mean, everything's

keep the investors happy.

The investors happy.

All right.

You want a photo up on the wall?

Yeah, no problem.

Yeah, yeah.

Welcome to my podcast studio.

Yeah.

Mucknuts, and I've got a shared universe.

Taking over the world, man.

Now, was it an amicable...

Yeah, it was pretty amicable.

It seemed like it was Mike being like, I don't want to do this anymore.

And you being like, I want to keep doing this.

Oh, yeah, pretty much.

Yeah.

I mean, listen, he's working full-time at at the store.

You know, you know how many hours that takes in the day and how hard it is.

And

Kevin doesn't sleep, so he's constantly needing something.

So, yeah.

Really?

Kevin doesn't sleep and he needs something?

What could it be?

Bring me a soda.

I need a ride somewhere.

He calls upon Mike to do it when he's

up at the store.

But

you don't just do one job when you work with Kevin.

You work, you know, you're doing seven things at the same time.

Right.

Mike, Jen's in LA.

I'm just saying.

Juggle these nuts.

Oh, fuck.

Come on, dude.

He's backing.

Yeah, he's back.

He's been back like five times during this episode alone.

I did want to ask you guys, I'm almost positive I know Walt's answer, but I see this in movies and TV all the time, where guys stand next to each other while taking a piss and talking.

Ever done it?

Never.

Get him?

Not that I know of.

Q.

Just at urinals?

No, not at urinals.

Like in the woods?

Like, oh, like this, yeah, like you pull over to the side of the road and like you're fucking away from each other.

Right?

Yeah.

I never understood that.

Like, Mary Beth asked me the other day.

She's like, do guys really do that?

I said, absolutely not to my knowledge.

I don't know anybody who stands, any guy who stands like a foot away from.

What's that?

Yeah.

I remember at the

we were going to a devil's game and we were on the way back.

Right.

Someone had to go real bad.

And I was like, you know what?

I'll go too.

And,

you know, we weren't back to back or side to side, but we were within

talking.

We were within conversation distance.

We had a conversation while it was going on.

Yeah, yeah.

How long did you go?

That's okay.

You know, we were like, I still can't believe the devil's won that game.

Something along those lines.

We were still talking about the game while pissing.

You're on such a high, it doesn't even matter.

Yeah, I couldn't even see his dick.

It was dark.

Gotcha.

Yeah, but like, you, you were.

What was it, Sunday?

No, it wasn't Sunday.

Timmy Hill.

Timmy Hill?

No, I wasn't.

I was out at him.

Now, wait a minute.

That's okay for you to say that?

Why?

Like, just throw Timmy's name out there and slander him like that?

Slander.

You guys are pissing next to each other.

It wasn't Timmy, though.

You just said it.

Now everybody thinks it was Timmy.

That was said in jest.

It wasn't mean-spirited.

They're really going to think it once I cut out you saying it wasn't Timmy.

But how is that not mean?

No, it could have been Kevin.

It could have been Kevin.

It could have been, you know, it could have been anybody.

Well, you just, you said, you said Timmy Hill because Timmy Hill's a devil's fan.

Yeah.

You guys have been to games together.

Been into games together.

I'm sure he urinates.

Yes.

Right.

Even if it's on the side of the road illegally,

again, I'm just trying to figure it out because I wouldn't think that it would be cute or

award-winning behavior to just throw out someone's name like that.

So, no potty humor.

I don't know.

That's what I'm asking you.

Well, so far, so good.

They still gave me an award.

I make big potty humor all the time.

We had an old TV show based on it.

What, what, Comic Bookman?

Yeah.

Well, that never won an award.

And it certainly didn't win any awards in any time in the the future.

Yeah.

Well, that's not the mark of a good TV show if it's won awards.

Let's not get, let's not start thinking.

Have you ever been up?

Have you ever been nominated for an Emmy, or you must have submitted, I'm sure.

I don't think we've ever submitted.

We might have submitted.

We've never submitted.

We don't submit on our behalf.

I think True might have, but there was for sure was never

an ad or

like there was never a campaign.

Right.

AMC submitted for us.

Yeah, every year.

Every year they win.

No, we don't expect that we'll ever win an Emmy.

Why would we?

It's a good show.

I agree.

It's a fun show.

It's not the sort of show that the people

want to admit they watch.

It's fucking this country, man.

I hear people admitting it all the time.

Yeah, people admit it all the time.

Oh, you know a lot of people on the Emmys fucking?

No, no, no.

I'm just saying I hear people admit.

I don't mean people don't admit.

I just meant I think those Muckety Mucks, the Ivory Towers,

aren't going to say that they watch it.

Even when we had Paul Rudd on, they were still like, why is he slumming?

I can't recommend this season of Murders in the Building enough.

You have Paul Rudd.

You have Matthew Broderick.

Right away, I bet he brings up another show.

This is what happens in the Emmys discussions.

It's awesome, man.

But I know you're a big Paul Rudd fan, so when you watch it, you're going to really like it.

Yeah, I was waiting for it to end, and then I'll watch it.

Yeah, it just ended.

Yeah, he's phenomenal in it.

He's like a bad guy.

He's not a bad guy, but he's kind of a prick, right?

He's a real dick.

Yeah, I love him.

He's a real dick.

I'd love to see him like that.

It's great.

Yeah, back to IJ.

I got a sneak peek at an episode, I think, premiering this month

with

a friend of the family.

And it was a really great episode.

An IJ episode?

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

It's a certain boy band member that we all know.

Oh, you saw the Fatone stuff?

I did.

It was great.

Yeah, it doesn't.

We don't, I think because of the strike, they pushed the episodes to like January.

So

the Fatone episode, we thought was going to be, we thought there was a chance it was going to be the series finale.

So, we really fucking put our all into it.

Yeah, it might be one of the, it's definitely in the top five greatest.

One of the best that I've seen.

Yeah, thank you.

Major Fatone.

Unbelievable.

How'd you get to see it?

I wound up at his house by a weird series of circumstances.

He's like, hey, check this out.

And he put it up on the TV.

He's really proud of it.

It comes with the Maverick Award.

He really fucking delivered.

You're shaking your head.

No, because it's just like, it's like, it's amazing.

You are hobnobbing with celebrities.

Yeah, definitely.

You're the major celebrity.

You're hobnobbing with celebrities, winning awards.

What are we doing wrong?

Yeah, you're fucking amazing.

And

it was so fucking shitty of me not to consider you a maverick when

I didn't know that you were out fucking smooshing with celebs, too.

Yeah.

It's a tough life.

That doesn't make him a maverick.

Tough life.

It makes him a douchebag.

So what else is going on?

What else is going on with you?

I

and conventions on the weekends i go almost every weekend and you hang out with celebrities there too right yeah you know celebrities you've been hanging out with lately

the walking dead and really

above what's his name no andrew lincoln andrew lincoln

some of the other characters uh we get along very well to do that ribe but loves with the with the angel wings uh norman ritas no i haven't seen him in a while either Not him.

No, who's you're hanging out with like third, fourth tier characters?

You know, the guy who played like Ross Marquan, like the guy who plays Aaron or, you know, And the show is still on?

It's over now.

It's over now.

But is the guy still fear the Walking Dead?

That are the spin-offs now.

Yeah, yeah.

That's why we're not on the air anymore.

My friends, they went and put all the money into that.

How do you address the show going the shit after the second season when you're talking to them?

It doesn't.

You don't bring it up?

I don't bring that up.

No, that's the positivity.

Yeah, you know.

Get your awards.

It's not there for you.

I got to rethink every move I've made in my life.

Oh, absolutely.

No, dog.

You're only telling me now.

I've been telling you since fucking fifth grade.

Since fifth

I remember a young old flatting and be like, don't do that.

Yeah, there's no fun.

They'd love to have you guys back.

If you ever wanted to come back, who's they?

You know, the people who run the conventions.

Which convention is this?

I mean, any of them.

You keep saying that, and then you never invite them.

I'm like, oh, he's in Maryland.

Didn't you fucking really

burn your bridge?

You burned a lot of bridges, didn't you?

You burned a lot of bridges.

You weren't showing up.

Yeah, you started building.

You started rebuilding.

You're a struggy, bro.

Yeah, I can rebuild.

I'm definitely responsible now.

Yeah.

No, I don't.

I think I want to just not show up.

Yeah.

No, never.

So can we get him in a con?

Oh, yeah, for sure.

Absolutely.

Oh, this is great.

Absolutely.

And, you know,

no matter where I go, Alaska, Hawaii, Dubai, always ends.

And we're at Dubai.

Dubai, I don't know, man.

Like, what if I meet like some hot Dubai chick and we're like necking on the beach or something?

Next thing you know, I'm in jail for a fucking year.

That could happen.

Oh, no, no.

I can't risk that.

You can get thrown in jail for having an argument with like a worker there.

Oh, at the TSA, right?

No, no, no.

Like, like there was a lady who was held in custody because she got into an argument with the rental car clerk.

For a year, right?

Was that like something crazy?

Yeah.

Imagine, you know, young, your burger isn't prepared right and you fucking act the way you did.

And you chicken down doors, ranting and raising.

My swarm was undercooked.

That shit doesn't work.

Okay, man.

Right.

Like,

what are the con chances for a person who is in like a flea market scene of like the first episode of Comic book men.

Not good.

No, not good.

I don't know.

You see some pretty fucking like

down the like low, low tier characters.

I mean, at least like me, but yes.

Even lower than me.

I can't believe you, like,

you, I think your greatest achievement is extending the small amount of notoriety that we had for years

after the fact.

And really, like, that, you know what?

I'm turned around.

He's a Maverick.

Yeah.

I'm turned around.

because I sit here and I think about all the networking you've done, all the people you've met, the life that you've carved out for yourself.

You did a pretty fucking good job.

Thank you.

This is all the shit I was saying last night.

I know exactly what I was saying.

They don't listen to you.

What he said.

I do have a question.

Ask Gawai.

How soon will the Maverick Award appear on one of your banners for the at a at a con?

I mean, that's up to the people who run the cons.

I thought you designed your own banners.

I do, yeah.

But

I don't think

I don't think that's going to make anybody.

He's a local buy a photo.

Do you know the ants are going to want to come and take a photo with him and that?

Or should I bring that with me?

I would get a replica.

I wouldn't bring a real

you could sell that like you sell the Brian Quinn 8x10s.

Yeah, yeah.

How'd they sell?

I don't sell those.

I give them to ants that identify them.

Fair enough.

Yeah, well,

I had a whole stack of them from that con we all went to a year navigo that went out of business.

Right.

Yeah.

Even though I did like like at cons, I would generally like after they ended, I would run back to my room and hide.

I did enjoy traveling with Ming.

Like the times that we've gone out.

Yeah, it's fun.

I had fun.

Yeah, fun.

Very fun.

So, you know what?

Let's talk

after we're off Mike.

All right.

Look at him stroking that thing.

He wants it.

Look at that.

Well, how much would you sell it to Walt for?

I would award it with my name on it.

Yeah.

You know, maybe

we could put it on display at the TST Town General Store.

It would get a lot of eyes on it.

You got room here for that?

Oh, for this?

Hell yeah.

You got room for that.

You could throw a crumpy in the face.

It would put it right in the fish tank.

Fish tank.

Like, like lasers or something.

Did you give me the hair guy I want to buy Crumpy?

He would buy it.

Dude, dude, fuck yeah.

Fuck yeah.

I'll take out a bank loan and buy it.

I just want to be involved.

Fuck yeah, man.

I'll do it.

That motherfucker.

You think you meet a lot of people?

Yeah.

Holy shit, man.

Every time I'm.

He's paint through the nose, though.

though,

he's got to be independently wealthy and just fucking with us, right?

No.

No?

Yeah,

he's not independently wealthy.

How do they?

I mean, they, it's like every single fuck.

I mean, and I'm talking to people that are like, who the fuck is this?

Like, he had pictures with Odin Kirk and David Cross.

I'm like, I'm like, holy shit, that's fucking awesome.

Yeah.

But then they've got pictures with these people that I'm like, even after I look them up, I still don't know who they are.

Jamie Farr?

Jamie Farr, for example.

Yeah.

Well, didn't we bring Ming in to judge on something?

Didn't we bring the Maverick in?

Oh, yeah.

Did you listen to the episode?

The whole episode?

Which one?

Where we talked about your Maverick award?

Oh, yeah, yeah, the whole from last week.

Yeah, so you heard about what Giddam is up to at the ShopRight and with the face.

Yeah.

And

you were brought in because

we wanted to know your take on how he's living his life and how he could

make some changes and do some small things, baby steps, to lead a more maverick lifestyle.

Okay.

To annoy people less, maybe?

Not to annoy.

It's just that I don't agree to submit to receipt checking.

He's got to keep his eye on the prize.

Man, people hate this, man.

People hate this.

Some people hate this.

Oh, why has online people been against?

Oh, actually, driving home that day, I was like, well, I bet you a lot of people are going to agree with Gita, but that has not been the case.

No, I think majority of it is.

Depends on where you look.

It depends on where you look.

Like, everybody else.

Because I've posted it.

No,

I've posted it in other places, and it was majority of support.

Well, what places?

I have some other subreddits I'm on.

Right, because those Reddits are like how to fuck over the man.

No, it's for their specific subreddits for Fourth Amendment rights.

No, it's just for specific people on Reddit.

It's unreasonable, I tell you.

Like-minded people.

No, it's just.

Echo chamber.

No, no, it's not an echo chamber.

It's just, you know, it's a...

Of course it is.

It's a subreddit for only certain people on Reddit who have achieved it.

Why are you not naming it?

It's part of the rules.

Can't people just click on your CBR?

It's a hidden subreddit, yeah.

What do you mean?

The government can't see it?

I'm sure the government can see it, but normal Reddit users can't see it.

As long as the government can see it, I'm fine with it.

Yeah.

I'm not going to adhere to handing in a receipt.

And I want to, I wish that January 6th would happen again.

Could you imagine how many people are online in hidden subreddit boards complaining about receipts?

They're doing it.

They're out there.

They're taking times of their life.

They're dwindling life.

They'll only be alive for a certain amount of time.

And they're spending their time engaging with him online about.

Yes, you're right, get him.

Yeah.

So

without talking down to him

and without making it a joke, what is your real reactions to somebody who's wasting this many brain cells?

I know he's got a lot of them, and he could waste a lot of them.

I mean, self-proclaimed, but yeah.

Self-proclaimed?

Well, the 148, that's not documented.

Well, it is, yeah.

Is it?

I had to take a test for school.

Okay.

And we can look this up.

This is on like on the screen.

I'm sure it's on

my permanent record.

Okay.

Okay.

Take it back.

All right.

Okay.

Because I was doing so poorly in school.

They go.

Because I was doing so poorly in school, they tested my IT.

Yes, we've heard this all before.

Okay.

Yeah.

He's not lying, though.

All right.

I mean, you know, you could be doing more constructive things with your life, but hey, if this makes you happy, I don't know, is it hurting anybody with the fake receipts?

Don't you?

Well, it hurts the people behind it because it's an annoying thing.

This is what it looks like.

So

if they become insistent, I hand it to them.

And I just keep walking.

This is a legit a scanned fake receipt?

Yes.

And how long did you get?

I just cooked, huh?

How long

somebody else did that?

You made that.

A professor.

A professor made the.

You made that.

A professor made.

No, a professor made the thing that's on the back and that part.

I just added the receipt because when you hand it to a checker who becomes a little pushy, right?

I mean, I really don't see the point.

But can't you, in this day and age, can't you just like when they're like, can I see your receipt?

Just say, no, thanks, and keep walking.

I do.

They can't chase you.

They can't do anything.

No, that's what I said.

No, it's for when they become pushy because not a lot of some receipt checkers don't realize that they don't have the legal authority to stop you or that they, yeah, they don't have the authority to stop you and they become insistent.

Right.

They think that they're like Colonel Jessup and a few good men and they're the thin line that's.

Let him go.

Let them go.

It's true.

I went to Walmart and I had a guy run after me.

They think they're in the Marines.

Yeah.

Yeah.

I had a guy run after me.

That's what they believe.

They're not just doing their minimum wage job.

I love this.

I had a guy run after me.

Sleep under the batter of the spoiled food I buy and then question the manner in which I eat it.

You want me at that Walmart.

You need me at that Walmart.

I had a guy run after me and threatened to take my license plate and have the cops at my house in 15 minutes because I didn't hand over my receipt.

Can I ask a question?

It's It's a tough one.

As a man who's worked in security, if you saw someone behaving the way you behave at the grocery store, would it not raise red flags if you were working security there?

Yes.

But then I would.

Rest my case.

But then I would.

But in order to stop someone with probable cause, you have to observe them shoplifting.

And you can't observe me shoplifting because I don't shoplift.

Right, but

you're acting suspicious.

But

that's not what's considered a probable cause under shopkeeper's privilege.

But they're not trying to arrest you.

They're just trying to check your receipt to make sure you're not stealing shit.

But they don't have, they don't, they can ask, but I don't have to submit.

But why does somebody have to submit credentials like at a

game that you were working security to get through a clearance?

Why can't they just say the same thing?

Well, I don't have to submit my credentials to you.

You're not a law enforcement.

You do, though, because that's the conditions of your ticket, or that's your conditions of entering.

Just like if I was at a Costco, yes, I would have to hand over my receipt because that is part of the membership.

What if ShopRite were to put into writing or put a post-it somewhere?

No, no, no.

I would have to agree to it.

They can't put a sign-up that just says by entering ShopRight, you're agreeing to have your note.

They can't do that.

Why not?

They can put the sign-up, but it doesn't mean it's actually legal.

Okay, so why can't a sporting event do that?

Because it's a condition of your ticket.

Well,

what if they gave you a ticket as you walked in with that?

But I would have to buy the ticket, just like I buy a membership at Costco.

Money has to change hands for that to be enforceable?

It's a part of a contract.

So if they say, well, in the shop, right, there's a one-cent fee added to your bill that makes this a membership, and by the way, you're going to have to show your receipt, then by those rules, you'd be okay with it.

And then I would probably not shop there anymore.

But you'd understand.

You'd say they were in the right then.

They would legally be in the right then, yes, to check my receipt.

That's all you care about?

Yes.

Yeah, okay.

Got it.

Why are you shopping there anyways?

And if you don't dis that was their policy.

They just instituted this policy because

according to the manager, because of TikTok and Instagram, they've been getting shoplifters.

All right.

And I thought this was like nothing, but

I rechecked the fake receipt.

There's a whole manifesto on the back here.

Again, I didn't write this.

I didn't write this.

It's longer than your speech.

But you agree with it.

I can imagine being in a mood, though.

Like, I can imagine being in a mood and there's a line and they're checking the receipts.

And I just walk around

and just be like, just fuck off.

I'm not stealing.

I'm not shoplifting.

Just fuck off.

Yeah, no, I'm not.

I can imagine that.

I am not.

No, no i am not abusive like that saying off

what do they call a mel karen because i think i think you might be one normally i think you might be one dude look i'm rarely stopped because mostly because of the color of my skin but oh spawn he's going for an award

no because

it is true because it's i'm privileged yes i once went in blackface and they stopped

no and because what i do is i just i just keep my head forward and just keep going and they usually don't again

sir sir no thank you and i just keep walking walking.

But this is only when they become an assistant.

Yeah, no, thank you.

Like, how little would you care?

You're a receipt checker.

Right.

And this is the guy.

But some people, the problem is that.

How little would you care if he's the problem is that some people do.

This is not for the people who don't care.

This is for the people who push it.

And, you know, they don't know their legal authority.

And you do.

I've read the law.

Yeah.

It's not that hard.

Thank God, everybody.

New Jersey 2C 20-11.

It's interesting that even your dad is like, just just fucking show him the receipt.

You're modern-day Martha Ray.

Or Norma Ray.

Norma Ray.

I mean, he moves like Martha Ray.

So is that it?

I mean, anything else we haven't explored?

Something that you want to talk about?

I think people like catching up with me because you don't do a regular podcast anymore.

You can catch you on Twitter or Instagram sometimes.

I wanted to offer

a business venture.

Really?

Yeah, I want to see if I'm offering a fee,

an appearance fee for an ISO comics Christmas special on the Patreon.

If you guys want to reunite me and Mike?

Yeah,

I would

be exclusively on Patreon and compensate you guys.

I would be all for it.

I don't know if the other party would be, but I'll ask them.

Okay.

Yeah,

and let me know.

I can imagine I could already see the reaction.

It's going to be like trying to get Jimmy Page to come out of retirement.

I think it would be awesome.

I think there would be a hunger for it.

I agree.

It's been so long.

You guys reunite.

Yeah, we'll get Oasis to re-record the theme song.

Listen, you know, I'm all for it.

I would love to do it.

Yeah, I mean, there's no bet.

I just got too busy for.

Okay,

you got to convince somebody.

the other guy.

What's the number that Mike can't turn down?

What's the number you'd be okay with me offering right off the bat?

How high am I allowed to go?

Am I allowed to go

outside of double digits?

10 grand?

10 grand each?

No, 10 grand.

He's going to blow the whole budget of the Tesla Mike.

I mean, I would start with like 500.

That's how I know the ballpark.

See where it goes from there.

If he negotiated up to 1,000, you know, I wouldn't be angry.

Okay.

Yeah.

$5,000 each.

Wow, what a great return of investment this is going to be.

You know, you guys.

But you've got to convince him.

It can't just be you.

It has to be I sell cards.

But I'm producing it, though.

Okay.

I come up with.

In the room?

Not in the room.

Oh, damn.

But you do let the

thousand in the room.

Wait, the panda Ming Chen bullet points.

You can come up with a paper.

But yeah, I'll come up with some activities

and I kind of like shape it.

Yeah.

And you guys got to follow it and really hit the bullet point.

Can we borrow some of the IJ like earwigs for Ming so that he walk and talk to him like on a camera?

Yeah.

And he'll say this.

And then if he walks at a thousand, you know, you know, tell him that, like, well, what's your number?

And then come back to me with his number.

Okay.

Okay.

So I'm going back to that.

I'm curious what his number is.

Well, tell him, don't tell him a thousand first.

You've got to tell him like 500 first so you see what he says and then be like, look, I'm authorized to go out.

I've already told him a thousand.

Yeah, you know, he can hear this.

I can bleep it.

Yeah, you can.

He's not listening to this.

Actually, I use quack.

Yeah.

Quack.

Quack.

I really like the idea.

All it does in the back room all on Mike.

Ming's got the little earwig in.

I think that that's a little inflammatory.

I think we're looking to lower the heat maybe a little bit.

Yeah, lower the temperature a little bit.

Right.

Get a little ISL comics going.

I mean, this is what you do.

You tell them 800.

Oh, I just get real off the top.

A little bit of cream for me.

A little bit of cream for me.

Yeah, for sure.

I want to find her.

You're brokering the deal.

Why not?

I just,

in this time when the world is at each other's throats,

what better way to celebrate Jesus' birthday than to reunite iSell Comics

for a Christmas-themed episode?

You know, talk about goodwill to all men.

Yeah.

You know, and yeah, if Mike wants to be a Grinch, tell him go ahead.

But over here,

we got the Savior on our side.

The world is in flames right now.

Yes.

Me and Q are trying to fucking lower the temperature.

I see that.

What about me?

I'm constantly stoking on.

You're the gasoline,

baby.

I'm all scratched.

Malt of cotton all over here.

We are trying to lower the temperature.

You can send a text first.

Okay.

I'm curious about the hey man.

I know we haven't spoken in two months.

It hasn't been that long.

No.

I think it's been longer.

Now, how is it when you talk?

Is it just friendly?

Yeah, of course.

Yeah, there's no contention.

I don't know.

I don't know.

Yeah, I'm just never home.

I don't go in the store that often.

No.

You're two months, you're only two blocks away.

I know.

I know.

Yeah, okay.

I mean, if I saw Mikey on the street,

I would feel perfectly fine.

Be like, hey, bud, what's happening?

Yeah,

there'd be no attention.

Yeah, not at all.

No problems.

I haven't heard one thing that Mike has said about us.

I bet you he's heard a ton that we've said about us.

So there's no reason to get away from that.

That's why

you guys want to say anything now that might lead to an award or anything like that?

Might be.

If I say something, it'll lead to him not doing the Christmas special.

All right.

So I guess we'll.

This is my olive branch.

I think I said

what I wanted to say through my offer of, like, you know,

let's start mending bridges instead of tearing them down.

I love it.

You said

you missed the old crew.

You're putting this out there.

I mean, even if it's couched in like a little bit of humor, like you're doing the work, as they say in therapy.

That's right, man.

You're doing the work.

So this is the question.

What's your price?

You bought out piece of shit, Mike.

He probably enjoys that he doesn't have to take shit from you anymore.

Yeah, well, I don't really make the Mike and Ming jokes anymore.

It just doesn't seem right.

I'm not really talking about it.

I hardly ever do.

I hardly ever.

Well, I mean, you're here, of course.

And in fact, I wasn't the first one to make a Mike and Ming joke you were.

I'm not saying that.

Yeah, but just.

But, like, it's not the go-to like it used to be.

Oh, shit, it's insane.

Go back.

Ask curious.

I've tried a fucking hour's worth of Mike and Ming jokes.

Recently, though, recently?

Definitely.

I would say 2023.

Yeah, I would say

ever since you left the stash, I think it's.

a

gone down, though.

It's gone down.

That's what I mean.

I'm not saying I never make them.

You make them fucking.

But it just doesn't seem.

No, I don't.

I don't.

I don't.

He's crazy.

I don't even know.

Curator.

Can you put together

a supercut of all of the Mike and Ming jokes that Brian has made in 2023 and 2022?

Earn that energy.

He's like, oh, no problem.

Earn that jokes.

You want to win an award, curator?

You you want to be at the bowling alley?

Yeah, but fucking ungrateful fucking.

Yeah, Garupi could easily get that award.

Pay their way to New Jersey.

Anything else, Bing?

Any cons coming up you want to promote?

Where am I going?

Chattanooga.

I love Chattanooga, man.

What a great town.

Yeah, they're doing the Ming Chen Dive Bar Expedition.

It's a paid event where you can go and far hop with me.

What date is that?

It's next weekend.

Next weekend.

So

people get the ability to pay to have dinner with you and now pay to go to

dive with me.

Yeah, get drunk with me.

Yeah.

Okay.

Yeah, yeah.

Are you now?

Ever, baby.

Yeah.

Do you not worry about getting

a little blottoed and acting the fool in public with cameras?

I do that every weekend.

You do it every weekend.

I do it every weekend.

You've seen me blottoed.

Good times.

Good times.

Very good times.

And if you want to see more of that, go on the IJ cruise, my friends.

Oh, yeah.

That's going to be for fucking every night.

Yeah.

Yeah.

It'll be great.

I can't wait for that, Chris.

I can't wait for that.

It's going to be so much fun, man.

It's shaping up.

Like, we got some guests coming that are like, it's going to be fun.

Yeah, you want to go on this cruise.

Yeah.

Could be the last one.

So get on the

last one was.

I thought the last one was, too.

And there was a long stretch where it was like, I was demoralized.

I was just depressed because I was like,

that is the best week.

So much fun.

Like any given year that the cruises, that's the best week.

One of the best phone calls I've ever made in my life is calling Adam Green up and telling him we're doing another one.

Oh, he was excited.

I'm so fucking happy, man.

It was like the best.

Yeah.

Getting Ming on.

We got so many ants coming in.

We got so many four call.

We're doing the four-call demon meetup.

We're going to do it a time this fucking year that I could actually be there.

There you go.

It's going to be great.

I cannot wait.

It's going to be so much fun.

But Ming will be there.

But this weekend, you're doing

Chattanooga Choo Choo.

That's next weekend.

I'll be here.

How much is that paid event?

It was like 70 bucks.

And you get to drink with you.

Get to drink with me.

I think they have one of those

crazy pedal cars.

I've never done it, but they look like fun.

Do you drink on it?

Like somebody who drives and then you drink on it?

Yeah, you drink it and you have to pedal.

You pedal, but they actually speak.

The pedaling part is the part I don't like.

Yeah.

It's part of the agreement.

You have to do it.

Is this an event that's tied to some sort of comic book convention?

Yeah, it's like an after-hours event.

Oh, okay.

Seems like a weird thing in a comic book convention to have a

karaoke parties.

There's an after-party.

So it's not that crazy.

Man, when I went to cons,

when I first started going to cons, I can't imagine that there would be.

In a church basement,

with Cha-Ching over at the Pennsylvania Hotel.

They got the weird blotchy.

Yeah, I never would have dreamed that

you would be...

I could have went bar hopping with Cha-Ching or Blotchy.

Yeah, it would be fun.

Well, if Ming had been there.

You probably could have.

If Ming had been with us at MegaCon, we might have experienced some of those things.

All right.

Well, that's it, man.

I have to take a wicked piss.

Is there anybody who wants to go and stand side by side with me while I do it?

I've done it before.

I've got no problem doing it again.

Go Devils.

Yeah, I might be lighting up the rock

at one of the upcoming Devils games.

Oh, yeah.

They start this Thursday.

Yeah.

You're going to be the guy that ushers in gets the crowd all fucked up.

Yeah, apparently they do it every game, home game now.

Let's go Devils.

Like, boom, you hit a button or something.

We're in talks for me to do that that waltz.

That's cool.

You know, lovely.

Can you get me a ticket to that game so I can come cheer you on?

If not this game, another game.

I'll rip my shirt off when you do it.

Then definitely this game.

One of my three hoodies is going to come off.

Yeah.

Yeah.

One of my three hoodies will come off.

I'll still have two underneath.

What a wild man.

It's going to be freezing.

Great.

Yeah.

All right.

All right.

Get that going.

Maybe a Pucknuts reunion.

Oh, yeah.

Oh.

I'm ready, man.

All right.

Awesome.

All right.

So, this is a great episode.

You got to come back more, man.

Yeah.

Come back anytime I'm actually at home.

Which is not that often.

You're

so busy.

You're like.

Right.

When you do come home, your wife's like, oh, good.

You're like, nope, sorry.

Got to go pod.

Life of a Maverick, baby.

Life of a Maverick.

Maverick, man.

You ain't whistling, Dixie, man.

You are the Maverick.

Tell him, Steve Dave.