#572: Call Me Mr. Johnson

Yeah, I mean you fucking motherless calf

Cause you got no balls

Got no nuts.

I'm going to try pot this weekend, Q.

Okay.

All right.

Tell them, Steve, Dave.

Hello, and welcome to this week's edition of Tell'em Steve Dave.

I'm here with Walt Flanagan and BQ.

Hey, hey, guys.

How's everybody doing?

Hello.

How's everybody doing?

Do we want to get some,

I want to get some light housekeeping out of the way?

That's what they say.

We got housekeeping?

We got a little housekeeping to do.

One part has to do with

this IJ cruise.

Okay.

Alex, our own Alex, the cameraman,

bought a cabin, but it turns out something came up.

He's unable to go.

Okay.

So if you want to go on this

cruise and he's discounting the cabins,

email him at ijcruis33 at gmail.com.

And also, happy Hispanic Heritage Month, Alex.

Hey, all right, nice.

I mean, Ming Chen's going, you know, Ming Chen will be there.

So, what more do you need?

I don't understand.

This guy's everywhere.

He's accepting awards and shit.

I see him all over the internet.

God bless Ming.

Yeah, got an award for something.

I'm not sure what.

And the even bigger.

What did he get an award for?

I don't know.

Being a Maverick.

A Maverick?

Now, sure.

Now,

he's a Maverick.

He

He's got a successful podcasting franchise.

So do it.

Where's our awards?

We're Mavericks.

We don't have studios.

This is a studio.

We don't rent it out.

We let it out for free to other podcasts.

I just did a podcast with Rupert the other day.

Here.

We're trying to help young podcasters get a leg up in this place.

And I agree.

We're Mavericks.

We deserve a reward.

He got an award with Kev.

It was like the two of them got an an award with the Kevin.

They had to share it.

Yeah.

Did they have to share it?

Oh, that's all that's a mess.

Oh, I don't know.

No, I think they each got one.

But like, if you're going to say, look, if you're going to say Maverick, I would look at Kevin and be like, yeah, the guy

fits the definition of Maverick.

Ming?

Right.

Not so much.

I don't know, man.

It depends on which way you want to pick it up.

How are you spinning at positive Q?

I want to hear this.

Well,

he doesn't want him to not fucking balk on that cruise.

He's putting a lot of the chips on that McChen appearance.

No, the elegies are going.

We just lost a cabin.

We're going to push it.

I don't know.

I mean, the guy, you know, he went from a, come on, man, like, let's, let's talk about it.

The guy was a computer guy for years and years, switched to television star, switched it to podcaster.

Now he's just making money because personality.

Yeah, but that's fucking,

most people I know work in cubicles.

Yeah, but you could say anybody who's on television or who's a podcasting did something before

they did that.

Sure.

Something in the quote unquote normal realm of existence.

So what's a Maverick to you guys then?

Define Maverick.

I would say like groundbreaking type person.

He's an Asian American

who television saw podcast-owned studio.

What are you talking about?

He never breaks ground every day.

Kevin told him, like, hey, do you want to be on TV?

Ask him, do you want to be on TV?

And he said, sure.

That's not what I'm doing.

And he was charismatic to carry that show for seven seasons okay

i disagree everybody's a maverick right

everybody's a maverick he's a maverick everyone's a maverick uh an independent

specialist okay now i'm sure he's not a maverick an independent individual who does not go along with a grouper party

i've never been so sure that ming chan is not a maverick after reading the miriam-webster definition ming chen is the party

He also is an unbranded range animal, especially a motherless calf.

That's also what Amafrica is.

I like that.

Calf.

Nah, man.

Why are you guys trying to rip it?

Why take this award from him?

Because I want an award.

Yeah.

But awards mean nothing, so it's like you want to just make an award and guarantee it's the fucking same.

I probably have more credibility than this.

I sort of lost track of it, but I guess we must, like the last podcast awards, I know we were up for something.

It's been over a decade, I think.

I guess we did.

I know.

I I gave you an award like a couple months ago.

That's

it has to be somebody we don't know giving it to us.

It can't be like a friend or like a homemade get them award.

That's like your mother putting up, you know, something you did in school on the refrigerator that, you know, it doesn't really deserve to be hung on the refrigerator.

I would tell you that your mother's love counts more than an organization.

She's obligated to do that, though.

I know a lot of shitty mothers who are not obligated to put their kids.

I've seen them out there, man.

I'm blessed to have the parents I have.

I've seen some shitty parents.

Yeah, you had some stuff on your refrigerator.

I don't know about that.

I don't think my fridge ever had much on it, but I don't think that I gave her anything.

But, you know,

why are you guys taking Ming down like this?

I'm not taking him down.

I just happen to agree with Walt that, like, if the award is like for being a Maverick, I don't get the connection.

If the award is for being like a glad-handing, smiling goofball, then yeah, that's an award he should win.

That's basically he's and sucking a pool.

I don't know if you saw that tweet.

No,

he's an android, He's just programmed to say whatever he thinks he needs to say

and then shake his head.

Yes.

His coffee is good.

Check yourself out on IG.

Right, right.

You're reminding every single person in the entertainment business tonight.

Right, right.

I think we might be the Mavericks, meaning you, what?

We're the outsiders.

This is why Quinn can't compute.

He's in too deep at this point.

He's in the group and the party.

We're not.

Yeah.

We're the fucking Mavericks.

Where's our awards?

But if you're a true Maverick, you don't even want the fucking awards.

Oh, well, he showed up.

He showed up for that award.

Believe you me.

He was there.

He was there.

He was there the night before.

He gave him a fucking free dinner, man.

He had to buy a ticket.

Okay.

No, I'm just kidding.

I think you guys are being hard on Ming.

I think he's probably, in my circle of friends, the closest thing I know to a real Maverick.

He's out there doing it, man.

He ain't got no fucking steady income from a job.

He ain't going to a 9 to 5.

He ain't punching a clock.

He's out there making his money the hard way and probably paying all his taxes, supporting his family, spreading love, spreading joy.

Why are you guys so angry at that?

I'm more angry at the committee, you know, for just handing out these awards willy-nilly like this.

It just seems like.

We've also not been covered like NJNJ.com, whatever that magazine is.

They're like top five or top 10 podcasts

in New Jersey.

Why the fuck aren't we in there?

Why would we be on there?

Because we've been around for 13 years, man.

We're underground, man.

We're cooler than that shit.

They don't like us, Mavericks.

They don't like us.

We're underground.

You know what I mean?

Like, we're fucking of the people.

For the people.

For the ants.

By the ants.

I would be disappointed if NewJersey.com was like, fucking these guys are cool.

It might be because, you know, the Staten Island, you know, connection too, though, they don't consider us.

We're not pure Jersey.

We're not pure Jersey.

Yeah, Yeah, that's that's probably the reason now that you think about it.

I mean, if you guys want me to step away for a year and see how you guys

get that award, I'm happy to try it.

I mean, I'll miss it, but

listenership drops by 90%, but we got an award.

I don't think listening would I don't think I'm the one.

If I leave, I don't think listenership would really drop.

I'm not leaving, just to be clear.

I'm not saying that, but I if

I did, I think the show would continue

just fine.

Gidem is the poor man's cue.

I already saw on Twitter too much get him.

What are you trying to say?

According to them, the

committee?

Yeah, who gave it out, it's for making a difference in the art.

Arts.

Oh, and he made a difference in the art of podcasting.

Yes, Chen is a longtime collaborator.

No, just the arts, not the art of podcasting.

It says Chen is a longtime collaborator of Monmouth County filmmaker Kevin Smith, who was also recognized at the event with the Artistic Achievement Award, Excellence in the Arts.

That one makes sense if you're going to give that to Kevin.

But given Ming the Maverick one, I don't know, man.

He must have done the website or something for them.

He probably got them in touch with Kevin.

There you go, Kevin.

He drove Kevin to the area.

Before he received the distinction, NJ Biz caught up with Chen to learn more about this quote-unquote Maverick's fascinating story, including his relationship with Smith, his background and career highlights, his latest venture, and more.

He fired me.

That's my story.

God damn it.

Oh, you guys.

Fire in a maverick.

I don't know.

I think Ming deserves all the awards.

Yeah?

I do.

All right.

What a great guy.

I mean, do you fucking have to do that?

I do love Ming.

I think he's great.

I really do love him.

He's never done a thing to hurt us.

He's never done.

Well, I don't know.

He did sort of bug the stash on Walt, right?

Let's not forget that.

That was only 12 years ago.

No,

this is really not i i really don't want this to be taken as an

as a slam on ming it's not okay i think it's how should they interpret this

i just see i just would like the committee to be a little bit more

thorough or don't call just don't call it a maverick award then just call it like okay nice guy who pods good dude award a good dude just a good dude yeah is even a podcaster anymore?

Usually he's setting other people up.

I don't know.

We might have to write into this community.

Last time I was podcasting him, I was so fucking annoyed at him.

Because remember, we were doing

that podcast.

I sold comics and he was fucking on his phone the entire time.

Oh, yeah.

He wasn't paying attention.

Yeah, that's a fucking Maverick.

So fucking busy on his phone, he couldn't fucking

engage in the conversation that we are paying him to fucking.

I didn't want to bring age ball.

I didn't want to say it.

I saw money change hands.

You don't think that that's a fucking maverick that comes in to do a job and it's like, fuck you, give me that money.

I'm doing what I want.

I'm going to fucking text the whole time.

Yeah, that's a maverick.

What is that definition you read before?

Broke the rules?

Told me he was going to get Courage by Love to re-record the song.

I sell comics to I Sold Comics.

Where are we at with this?

Has a note been written?

Crickets.

Yeah.

So

that would have been a maverick.

I would have been in the front row of that when they were giving out that award.

Brock Easton, yes, yes, Minchen, yes, whistling with both fingers in my mouth, whistling at the top of my lungs, you know, saying he deserved that award.

I would have been right beside you.

I would have ripped the award out of Kevin's hand and given that to me.

Wow, man.

So according to Chen, I love that they're giving me an award called the Maverick Award because podcasting is a very maverick medium.

There are no rules.

You can talk about whatever you want.

You can express your passions no matter how niche or broad.

It really is Maverick format, which is very cool.

10 years ago, you know, podcasting was a Maverick format, but now everybody and his fucking brother has a podcast.

And not only that, you can't say anything you want to say.

Trust me.

Well, you can if the things you want to say are like your opinion on a movie or pop culture.

No, fucking no, as long as you're talking about.

Imaginative

characters?

Yes.

Yeah.

Yeah, but yeah, that's when you're okay.

To a certain extent, but not really, though.

Yeah, like you go too hard at Star Wars and everybody fucking gets on your ass about it ray is not a marry sue everybody goes hard on at star wars does anybody like star wars these days but it wasn't always that way you know you know

it used to be written very well my point is like what

i mean i agree with you like at this point when somebody tells me they have a podcast my eyes glaze over i'm like who fucking doesn't have a podcast at this point you're like jesus christ um but uh you know it depends on what your topics are man you can talk about anything you want

you know Kind of.

As long as it doesn't offend people.

Who you want to talk about?

That's going to like, who the fuck even wants to talk about things that offend people anymore?

Some people do.

Who?

People do.

I don't know.

There's podcasts, tons of political podcasts out there.

And

who wants to listen to that shit?

Not me.

Exactly.

Not me.

But some people do.

My point being that, like, I think it's never been more unsafe.

to say exactly how you feel.

If you were like, say Trump ran in 2024, EQ votes for him.

Right.

There's no fucking way.

Sure.

You could say that.

I could say that.

You could say it, but you wouldn't say it.

But

what would happen to me?

It would not be worth it.

No, it's not.

It's definitely not worth it.

Your agent

would tell.

What would happen to you

is a certain segment of the audience would be immediately turned off and be like, why don't you go buy some fucking Trumpkins from across the highway?

To which I'd be like, all right, I'm going to go buy some.

I don't know what to tell you.

Like, I don't know, but

I don't know.

I think

politics are a cancer, though.

Oh, I was just about to say, I agree with you in as much as like politics, like, like, I go to YouTube and, like, I check out different podcasts and shit.

And then there's, like, the, like, new for you or, like, it's always political shit.

And I just go right by it.

Because you're like, I know if I watch it, I'm just going to get annoyed.

So what's the point?

Yeah, it's best to check out.

Yeah.

On stuff like that.

But I don't know, man.

It's like, I just feel like for anything, the only thing that I feel I can't say sometimes is like

if I don't like something, that's why I said that rule a while ago where I was like, I'm only going to talk about things if I like them.

Right.

Because I've said shit and then run into people and have been like, what was that?

I heard you don't like, you know what I mean?

And it's like, you know, my life's too short to fucking put myself in that situation again.

So it's like, I only want to talk about things that I like.

And you are

traveling in circles where you could meet people who had a hand.

in what you're saying you did.

That's happened to me.

Right.

So that's on a different level then.

Like I could say I don't like something.

Like, there's no chance on the planet I'm going to run into somebody who worked on it.

Correct.

And so I'll never have to feel that awkwardness of like trying to be like, I'm going to,

I actually, I loved it.

And it happened to me.

And it's like, and I and I felt, I didn't remember even saying it.

And I felt bad.

I'm like, why did I shit on something that somebody created?

Because you didn't like it.

It's the nature of fucking putting something out there.

If people expect to put something out there and for everybody to love it and not have anything negative to say, regardless of their station, that's so fucking unrealistic.

and you're a fucking bitch if you come up to bq and you're like hey i heard you didn't like my movie or my song or my project or whatever the fuck confronting you with that is

no but it wasn't like an angry thing but it was just like but but i don't know what's the point i look if one of my friends was on a podcast ripping on something that i did i'd probably be like what the dude friends well friendly yeah

and it was like i don't well then yeah yeah you probably yeah you you've just lost you're just a lapse where you didn't you forgot that a friend was working on you.

No, I had said it, and then years later, had become friends.

Oh, and they fucking had it in the fucking roll.

And somebody pointed it out.

In the back pocket.

Yeah, somebody pointed it out to him, and I was like, I don't know.

What do you want from me?

We got to fill fucking an hour a week.

I'm just shooting from the hip and just saying stupid shit.

I don't fucking remember half the stuff I'm saying, and I don't believe the other half of the shit that I'm saying.

Like, so what do you want from me?

Just because you're friends with someone doesn't mean you have to like everything that they do.

No, of course not.

Which was saying, we a lot of you call somebody.

I don't want to get anybody to fucking say or not say whatever they want?

I'm just saying my own thing is I don't want to talk about things unless I like them.

I agree with BQ, though.

Like, if you're friends with somebody,

you probably

should, you know, holster, like, you know,

going after something they worked on.

What good can come from it?

Zero.

Like, what are you doing?

What in my opinion is it's not going to change anything.

If I go like, like, like saying you didn't like something, yeah.

Well, someone's going to be like, yeah, BQ is right.

He didn't like it.

And now I don't like it either.

Yeah.

Yeah, that actually would happen.

No,

definitely.

Definitely.

If it's like, yeah, if BQ brings up a good point, they're like, yeah, I hadn't thought of it that way.

But if it's in the

if it's like on a podcast and you didn't come up with the topic, you just chimed in.

I think that's a little different than actively shitting on something.

You can have some self-control.

You don't have to tell everybody every waking thought.

You don't.

You can see it in his eyes.

It doesn't compute.

You know what it it was for me that really, this, it wasn't that, that situation that made me go, like, I don't know why.

Like, I don't want, it was, it was, uh,

who's that comic book character?

The, the, that, the fat girl that flies around.

Remember, that was her whole

faith.

And I remember, like, I, I, I teed off on that for a little bit.

And then somebody wrote me an email.

I was like, like, I like faith and, like, I'm overweight.

So it's, like, kind of cool.

And I was like, who the fuck did I rip on fate?

I'm like, what?

I don't care about it.

Because it doesn't occur to you that somebody's so mentally small that they're like, I identify with a comic book character, and that means a lot to me.

I saw when they were coming, they were just coming from like a different angle.

And my point was just like, why am I, why am I shitting on something that people like if I don't care about it?

That's my point.

Like, I don't care about it.

So, like, why am I taking design?

And then also, like, you don't care about a lot.

That's okay.

I don't care about most.

And then like opinions change too.

And then you're like locked in amber for saying this shit sucked.

And then a year later, you're like, eh, Not true, not true.

I discovered that I enjoyed this.

You took me to task for giving Shuley shit.

I did, yes, because you like Shuley.

I'm just like, you know what?

I respect Q's opinion.

Let me give this Shuley guy another look.

Yeah.

And I watched a couple of the shows, and I was like, I reformed my opinion.

I was like, you know what?

I don't know where my head was at.

I don't know why I had such a heart on for him.

Right.

But then I went on a show and we talked and we made up and now everything's fine.

That's great.

So, yeah.

Yeah, it's like, that's great.

Isn't that better than being at some fucking.

I don't know.

Being at war war is fun sometimes, though.

Come on, that's the difference.

I don't want to be at war anymore.

No?

Well,

it's a young man's game?

Yeah, oh, yeah.

I just never saw a good outcome from it.

There's no winning, actually.

Like most wars.

Yeah.

What has ever been fought since World War II?

Right.

There are no clear-cut victories anymore.

Yeah.

There's no wins.

There's no losses.

I'd rather just, I don't know.

There's just battles.

I'm getting older.

I don't care about anything anymore.

We're almost done.

I just want to jet skew around, man.

That's all I want to do.

I got something for you.

You know what?

I'm all turning around.

You are right, BQ.

I was a piece of shit.

I'm a shitheel.

Ming Chen is a fucking Maverick and deserves that award 100%.

He deserves the award for the next 10 years.

Yeah, he's mavericking it up.

He's the maverick

for the next 10 years running.

No one has any right to that trophy, but Ming fucking Chen.

Yeah, he's Maverick.

He's like Tom Cruise if Tom Cruise was five foot tall instead of five four.

No, you're right, though.

Like, who am I to say he doesn't deserve it?

What have I done that

I should

weigh in on fucking what Ming Chen has accomplished?

Let me tell you, take a look at the Patreon, okay?

If that's not award-winning shit, that's like, wow, these, like, these guys took Patreon and really ran with it.

Like, Walt has done incredible things with this fucking music.

Thank you.

Thank you.

But that I agree with.

Yes.

Just look around the room.

I think he should get an award.

I think he should get an award for that.

It's paychecks.

I'd rather get that than the award.

But that is like in the community, though, that really isn't helping the community like Ming does.

Oh, you mean like, because Ming goes out.

It's just helping ourselves.

Well, you help the orphans through that.

Tried to.

Yeah, we've helped a lot of, like, we've helped listeners, you know, when they've needed a hand, we've tried to come and lend a hand, you know, with you with the listener who sh what was his name, the the the guy who had the fire, um, nick

Nate.

Um

we just recently helped a lot of the some of the stores in the airport plaza here for free.

We went to some of the businesses in airport plaza and we asked them if they wanted a free commercial shot and edited by our team that they could use on social media anywhere they wanted.

Why?

What's behind that?

I just want to do it.

I just wanted to be neighborly.

I just want to start giving back.

I want some of the love that we get for people.

I'm going to be the next Minchin in 2035 when I think the award will be up for somebody new.

I would like to be in the running to win that award.

And

we went to the sticker guy.

Yeah.

We went to.

Did anybody take you up on it?

Yeah.

They're not like, huh.

Because it does sound weird.

But they know us.

They know us.

So it was easy.

It's not like used to walk in, like two strangers.

Yeah.

You know, like we have, we have roots here, like we told you.

This is why we want it to stay so bad.

I remember.

But we went to the sticker guy.

We went to Trendy Tots, which is

food for children's clothing and toys.

We went to the laundromat,

and we went to Jersey Coin, and we shot a couple commercials with them one day, and we ran them on one of the Patreon shows.

in between segments to make it feel like a like a cable access show.

Okay.

And we didn't tell them that was the real impress.

We're like, I want to make it feel like, I wanted to have these awkward, like, hello, um, Deborah.

Yeah.

And you, we want you to visit the laundromat here at the airport plaza.

I wanted that kind of like stiff wooden reed.

We definitely got it, but

now I gave them the commercials now they can use on social media if they choose to, if they don't, but they're really well shot.

Victor did the work on it.

He did a great job.

And they're really great stories that people should, you know, you know, patronize if they come to.

It's just nice to like uh nice to to do something nice for the kids but they were very nice to be suspicious they're like what do you mean it's free and i was like there's nothing nothing no strings attached right that doesn't happen much in this world today i think you're right like

if i uh if i come up to them and say that like hey you all like they're like we don't know who you are you look sketchy

he looks sketchy but i don't which is yeah

well no but you've been around they've seen you and then you're you're with wall it's called the cops on me i'm surprised you didn't want to do the out the uh not the alcohol store that's a weird thing to call the alcohol store the liquor store i the one the one person there does not like me and i don't know why yeah she's very very short and curt with me and i i don't know what it is yeah that was my pet

oh your vet good news good news about boris he hasn't been eating as much lately so i was a little concerned i knew he was taking those monster shits you were so proud of he's

he's slowed up a little bit uh he's teething he's got double rows of teeth so it's hurting hurting him to eat, so he's not eating as much.

Gotcha.

Do you have hard food or soft food?

I give him both.

Both.

Yeah, I give him both.

But good sorry.

Didn't mean to interrupt the thing.

The only regret I have in going out

into the plaza and seeing if anybody was interested was I just didn't have the balls to ask the yarn lady.

I thought it might have been a nice way to build a bridge, but I saw her and I was going to say it.

She was in the hallway walking to the bathroom and I was going to say, oh, hold on a second.

And I went to put my hand up to ask her to hold up and she saw my hand and she quickly looked down.

So I was like,

just put my hand down and kept on going.

I was like, I don't think she wants to talk to me.

Yeah.

And I mean, if anybody's going to be suspicious,

then it's going to be her.

The yarn lady.

The yarn lady's going to be suspicious.

All right.

So that's it on Ming Chen.

He's well

deserved of any recognition he gets.

I just feel if he rests on his laurels like in year five to get

a he does.

But he may have laurels.

No.

After five years of getting this award, he may just like

an accomplishment.

Yeah, like an accolade.

Okay, so

he's never going to just float on past accomplishments.

No, I don't think so.

I don't think so either.

Yeah, I think it's like, is it something like a, like a,

like it actually was like what they put on the

people's heads like back in like the roman days what his trophy was no a laurel that's oh yeah okay they gave him a crown i was like damn who put now i really wanted like chughead now if kevin gave ming a roman helmet during the awards ceremony i would definitely go watch

then i would go in

uh speaking of commercials did you uh have you done your patreon commercial yet you've been working on it at all i have been working on the idea uh i haven't started shooting it yet yeah yeah oh it's video?

I was going to do.

No, no.

Well, yeah, it was going to be video, but

it's media.

Oh, I thought we decided on audio.

Did we not?

Oh, I can do it audio.

I thought we were doing audio only.

Oh, audio's not wrong.

No, no, I started working on it, though, and it's on audio.

Okay.

All right.

Audio is actually easier then.

Great.

So.

Yeah.

And you can use the, because I'm going to use the sound guys for help because I need special effects and shit in mind.

I'll probably rely on my boy Chuck

if I can.

Yeah, here there's

secret documentaries and all kinds of secret stuff going on.

Yeah, we're working on some, we're working on something together, and I gotta say, I have never

rarely seen such a well-run production as what Chuck does.

Yeah, he was, I mean, I heard it was pretty solid, solid.

I mean, I've, I can't, I wish every time I walked on a set or into a production or anything that everything was just tightened up.

No problems came up that I heard about.

Like, it was all fucked up.

I heard there's some issue with the food.

There's no issue with the food.

No, I'm good here.

I heard that, you know, Q stole someone's

cheeseburger.

Yeah.

Yeah.

I mean, we were at a place that made and served cheeseburgers.

Get him and I heard that food was ordered.

Okay.

And a cheeseburger was supposed to go to someone.

Who?

Should we say?

We kind of got to say.

Okay.

What's that?

A grunt.

Yeah.

Okay.

And

when the food was brought out, the cheeseburger was placed in front of you.

And

you looked confused like you hadn't ordered a cheeseburger, but you're like, fuck it, I'll eat it anyway.

Well, somebody said, like, we just ordered a bunch of food.

Right.

I say, maybe this guy didn't have the balls to speak up.

Like, if it was like a contemporary, he would have said something.

But when it's the man,

like, it's an honor for him to eat your lunch.

I mean, I didn't even want a cheeseburger.

I ate it to be polite to the place.

I would have just given the cheeseburger.

Oh, it's someone else's cheeseburger.

Yeah, I took like five bites and didn't eat the fries or anything like that.

So they would have.

Took one bite.

You look whoever this mystery person was.

We're welcome to the whole burger.

I'm not saying it was Rupert.

I'm not saying it was him.

He did a great job up until this moment.

I thought I did a great job.

Chuck, you know, his pals over there.

I don't know.

Chuck did a great job, man.

I was impressed.

Focused.

It's like a laser.

That's the word.

Yeah.

That defines Chuck.

Passionate, focused.

Focus.

Yeah, 100%.

Dude, zero.

There's a couple other words, but focus is one of them.

And problems

may have popped up, but he just handled them.

He's like, I got it.

Focused.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Completely lost.

That's the kind of guy you want.

So the problems don't even reach you.

Never even reached me.

Yeah.

Heard about him later on.

No problems.

All right.

Chuck, I can't.

I've said it before.

Is the cheeseburger thing the biggest problem you encountered then so far?

Yes.

All right.

Yeah.

And I don't even view it as a problem.

Yeah, because you got the cheeseburger.

And also there's like another cheeseburger for, I guess, Rupp five minutes behind if he wanted it.

Right.

You know?

And maybe Rup should have eaten cheeseburgers.

Poor boy's starving to death.

How did it get to you?

Because I came in Saturday to do his podcast with him.

Well, they were talking about the project and telling me some stuff.

And that was one of the things, one of the anecdotes that was related.

Yeah, they got big time.

Like Q just sat there and he was like, I don't know whose this is, but fuck it.

And then he just fucking wolfed it down.

I didn't ask for bacon, but I'll eat it.

I mean, you know, you know how these things go.

I mean, I'll just make it so, you know, Rup doesn't have to work with me anymore.

And then he never has to worry about the burgers again.

I think by telling me that's kind of what he was hoping for.

Yeah, I can't trust it.

Look, man, if you're walking off a set and telling stories and stuff like that.

Yeah, he didn't have to sign an NDA about like no, we just

trusted him.

We just trusted him.

But, you know, if you're going to walk off a set and just start talking about how the producer is a piece of shit who eats your burger, you must not want to worry about it.

He doesn't even like bacon.

He said it himself.

I took the bacon off.

I am surprised that there wasn't an NDA passed around for this project because I was going to ask,

do we need to have an NDA drawn up for the TSD Town General Store?

I didn't think so up until this program incident.

And now I'm like, yeah, I think we should, man.

Because I told anybody who would listen.

The first person I told.

I posted on the Impractical Joker subreddit.

Well, you know, I'd like to publicly apologize to Rupp.

I thought that you did a good job that day.

I was glad to see you.

It was nice to see a friendly face there.

I didn't realize that it had gone so horribly for you.

uh and uh you know i will do my very best to make sure that you're never in that position again my friend all right and he doesn't mean uh eating your cheeseburger either i just i i owe

what you mean i mean you know i paid for the cheeseburgers and it's still

he's like that's mine so you're so you're recommending that i because i don't know if you know this but we have

um a high-powered lawyer handsome high-powered lawyer oh my gosh

no we heard about this guy last dude oh this dude stepped right out of fucking GQ.

He shouldn't even be in the fucking courtroom.

Right.

It's like the problem sway is juries and shit, right?

Oh, my God.

When he bats his eyes

at the female,

what is going on?

What are those people called that are?

The jurors.

I'm sure that all they can think about is him without a shirt on.

Like if Michelangelo was given a choice, he would be the new David.

Wow.

Well, should I get him on, like, you know, getting an NDA written up that we can have people sign to come into the

office can we just copy our old one yeah I mean yeah I mean

I want to put special clause I can get like a boilerplate one and then he could mark it up and make changes I don't know how much you want to go in on this well he's like I said well you don't have to do anything I mean that's why he's

charging us by the hour

that's the beauty of it he loves TSD he's handsome and he loves TSD he loves TSD he is the total package and he and he said you know what all your legal work is free then we're gonna need him to do that Yeah.

Yeah.

All right.

He's on it.

He's listening.

Scarrulous rumors about me are being.

Dude, they were so ugly.

I didn't even want to listen.

I'm like,

how many NDAs?

He talked about this on air?

I'm breaking it here.

Now, if you get, if you sign this new NDA that the sexy lawyer is going to draw up for us,

how many will this be under your belt now that you'll have gifts on that you've had to sign?

Five or six?

Wow.

You are a fucking mover and shaker, my friend.

If you're in a room that

demands

you keep silent about certain things,

you know you're doing well.

Well, especially when it comes to security.

You're moving up.

When you're in security, you're exposed to things, you know, and you just got to keep those things quiet.

You didn't, though.

You spilled the beans on Rup.

Well, that wasn't part of this.

Oh, yes.

Yeah, it was.

He told you in this room, didn't he?

Yes.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Okay.

So, yeah.

You should have consulted with the lawyer if you should have divulged that.

It wasn't under anything.

There was an incident.

Do you know Brian Quit?

He doesn't like bacon.

So he's...

Could I talk about my Rupp,

who

was kind of like, you know, upset that he didn't get a burger?

Would I be okay to talk about that?

If Ron says something off Hazlitt Plaza property, am I allowed to repeat that?

If I hear some like top secret yarn info, I know how to bulge that.

This lawyer is probably going to be like, you know, at a certain point, he's going to be like, what did I get myself into?

I mean, if he listens to the show, he should know damn well who he got himself into.

Speaking of Reddit, Giddam, I have a, I want to work on you with you on a Reddit game that I came up with for these guys, okay?

Okay.

In touch with you, and Reddit, I just want to ask you if you're going to shit on me and say nasty things about me, don't call me Bry.

Oh, they're calling you Bry?

Yeah, like, yeah, like, hey, this about Bry.

It's like, no, you're not allowed.

No, Bri is for friends and family and aunts who like me.

Brian isn't for you people on Reddit.

Dead name.

Yeah.

Okay.

Yeah.

Brian, Mr.

Johnson, I'd accept.

But yeah, if you're going to talk all kinds of stuff, any of these people, I would love for them to talk about their lives for 13 straight years and then see how likable they are.

You know,

I thought me and Q did have, and

we seem to be okay.

I know, you know, I stopped yourself.

Trust me, I look at Reddit.

You're not okay.

Me?

Yeah, you're not okay.

You get, you think you get.

Can I have hate?

Of course you do.

For what?

What did I do?

Your high-handed, moral, fucking stodgy position on the market.

Well, that's just because

they can't hang with this.

I don't feel like that's

an insult to me.

Don't worry, boss.

I got rid of it before you could see it.

Really?

They're upset about my high moral and my preachiness, judginess, I think.

Really?

Wow.

Trust me, dude.

It's nothing compared to what they're doing.

What about what I just did to Ming Chen?

I fucking

don't know that.

Well, trust me, I'm going to go to Reddit and you're going to be fine.

I don't want to

be saying about me on Reddit.

I went.

It makes me actually stumbled across it across it.

I stumbled across it, and they were complaining about when me and you were talking about warm wifeing months and months and months ago.

Remember, I was like, Yeah, I'll go to a casino and Mary Beth will wear something kind of sheer and walk around and see if anybody notices.

They got a problem with that.

They got a problem with it.

I don't mean to kink shame, but it's like, no, that's exactly what you're doing.

So why don't you tell me what your kinks are, motherfucker, and then I can shame you for them.

Yeah.

No, you wouldn't do that.

Because you got no balls.

You got got no nuts.

I hope that the next wave of Reddit is nothing but a list of kinks.

Like everybody's just writing their kinks.

But why isn't everybody writing?

Nobody knows who you are anyway, right?

Everybody's fucking anonymous.

So write in your kinks and see how crazy they are.

Yeah.

Compared to something that simple.

Yeah.

I mean, why don't you just stay off Reddit?

I mean, that seems to be.

No, I stumbled across it.

I go to Reddit for stuff like pool chemistry and like outdoor shit, like, you know, that kind of stuff.

I don't really go for

anything else.

Some of the podcasts I like, I'll read up on them.

You know who was hated for his high morals?

Who's that?

Jesus.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Loved as well by some.

So it's kind of the same.

But when they read that turn the other cheek, crap, they went after him.

But it's not 100% like there are some people that are being, that are like, nah,

no, I think this is a minor, minor portion of,

look, I hate listening to shit.

I don't go on Reddit, though.

That's the difference.

I don't have it in me to go on and complain or write that kind of stuff about podcasts.

It's just like, whatever.

It is what it is.

Whatever, dude.

Whatever, man.

Whatever, man.

So they got to like something.

But it's kind of odd because earlier in the episode, you said, if you put something out there, you can't expect everyone to like it, though.

Right.

No, I don't expect them to like it.

But you seem a little irked that they didn't like it, though.

No, it's not that they have to like it, but to like call me out for it and be like, oh, he's not.

He's some, he's a bad person or he's a fucking piece of shit or he's a creep or whatever.

Because I say something, it's like, you don't have to like it, but then you're like, why come after me for it when you know in your own fucking life you have kinks that you wouldn't tell people about,

right?

Not you.

No, no, no.

I was gonna say, that's why I raised my eyebrow when you said that.

But I'm sure Walflan, look, he's, he's fucking, he's an undercover kink guy.

I fucking guarantee it at home.

Yes, yes, more so than me or you.

My kinks would be so pedestrian and vanilla.

I don't even know if they would.

That's what I think this is.

And maybe in the 40s, they were kinks.

Yeah.

But like non-missionary.

Ankles.

In today's world, you know, these would not be kinks, though.

Right.

They would just be like, fall into the category of normal.

But why can you shame anybody for you can't shame anybody for anything, but then I get shamed on Reddit.

It's not hurting someone.

Isn't that always the thing with sex?

If you're not hurting someone, if you're not hurting somebody, yeah, it's fine, but not this fucking prude.

Not this fucking Puritan.

God damn them.

Anyway, don't call me Bry.

Well, you fed him.

You just threw him meat.

Oh, did you give BQ that hat?

I just noticed

that these guys are worse.

I'm not going to come up with next.

Yes, he got his hat.

And it's the eccentric.

Well, let me read this real fast because it is the best time of year.

I agree with this.

Why don't you just try and

try a different tact?

All right.

What if you tried to make friends with these people?

What if you tried to watch out?

I don't want any more new friends, let alone people who

are ushered in disliking me.

Like, now I got to win them over?

I mean,

why not?

Because they're not worth it.

These are anonymous pussies that go on and like, hey, here's something about Bry.

But behind everybody.

Here's something about anonymous.

I don't believe it.

You don't think on Reddit anybody says anything about you?

Get him.

Can you go and look?

Come on.

Why do you go to shit?

He goes to the fastest cares all the time.

That's why I'm going to work on the game.

Again, it's not a lot, but it is there to say that there is none.

Like, give me an example.

I can't think of one off the top of my head.

No, that 148 fucking IQ can't think of one example.

I thought of one.

It's not good enough.

What was it again?

That I'm judgmental.

The preachiness and the judgment.

But I want something more than that, though.

That's not something that should be criticized, though, that I have high standards of mind.

But it is being criticized.

No, no, no.

But that's hollow.

That's a hollow.

But I'm saying, but mine's the same.

I'm saying that mine's hollow as well.

I agree.

You sound like it, the way you're the vitriol and your voice

says.

No, that's more of them calling me Bry.

I don't like it.

You're not my friend.

All right.

So, no, I'm not going to be making friends with them.

I know that much.

yeah

you know what i might be friends with some of them already and i don't know it i mean look what look what you did with shuley you built a bridge you that's true

that's true but that was because i hated sholey yeah but people that hate me you can't extend the olive branch just once in your life just to see what'll happen you haven't extended it once in 50 years are you happy are you sure about that

when have look give me an example when you have and i'll and if you can and then i'll admit that i was wrong because i'm trying to think when i say yeah me too

but But I'm trying to think of an example and I'll be the first person to be like, oh, you did.

And I will bet you.

I would say Shuli.

Sure.

And it turned out pretty well, like Q said.

Right.

That's, that's an easy one, though.

Winning it, because he didn't have anything against me.

Right.

So he was actually the bigger person

to come on the podcast with me.

Why not take a different tact to see if things work out differently?

Because

what's the harm in seeing if it does?

It may actually be beneficial to your mental health.

I doubt it.

I doubt it.

Well, I know, though.

So I'm going to go on as myself and be like, hey, guys, I think you just need to get to know me a little better.

That.

I'm not proving myself to these cocksuckers.

These fucking anonymous.

I almost had to bleep myself.

You're just misunderstood.

I know.

I'm like a creature.

I'm not misunderstanding Bigfoot.

They're in the dark, and you have to show them the light.

All right.

Well, then let me tell you this.

Not only did Mary Beth do her little cheesecake shoot with her buddy from OnlyFans, Zia Anderson, XIA, she also went down and did her boudoir shot.

I saw some of the photos

with Jillian, the wedding photographer.

Very cool photos.

Yeah, I'm sure they'll get put up somewhere.

But nobody could be upset at that.

They're upset by it.

Why?

I don't know.

They get upset because I think it's kind of hot that my wife does this.

Well, that's not right.

And I'm not like, hey, man, you got to to fucking do it.

It's like, these are her decisions.

She's like, what do you think?

And I'm like, I think if you want to do it, you should do it.

Yeah.

So

what's their problem?

I don't know.

They got a problem with it, though.

Fucking

shaming me.

Well, maybe they'll

maybe they're maybe they'll listen to this and reflect.

Could you please reflect?

Just reflect on your own life.

Bring down the temperature a little bit.

All right.

Why don't you try a little bit?

Why don't the guys on Reddit this this?

Wait a minute, me too?

All of us.

Why?

Come on, just try to bring the temperature down a little bit.

Just be less preachy.

Maybe?

Let's just, yeah, maybe, maybe, you know, not be less judgmental.

Like, let the moral standard slip.

Yeah.

Just a little bit.

See how it goes.

Be less

Captain Stewing or gopher.

Acknowledge.

Oh, speaking of, I'll bring that up in a little bit.

You reminded me of somebody.

Let's all be friends.

That's my tip.

Trust me, I like it a lot more when people are like me and are nice to me.

Okay.

I don't get off on people hating me on red.

But if they do, no, if they do, I'm not going to fucking be the guy that's like, hey, man,

like, you just don't understand.

Like, no, I'm not going to try to win these people over.

Fucking.

You know me.

I'm just trying to break the temperature down a little bit, man.

I don't know what's going on.

I don't think it's

at the end of the day, though, I don't think that stance has done you all that well, though.

I think it would be

healthy to at least try a different, different

unit just once to see what happens.

But aside from today, I never acknowledge it.

I never talk about it.

You know, I don't talk, I don't go to Reddit or like any of that shit.

It's just like I literally stumbled across it and was like, oh, what the fuck?

Now this person is saying this.

Yeah.

Yeah.

The algorithm generates your feed.

Yeah, yeah.

So I see it and then I'm like, okay, well, this is one of the things people are saying.

Gotcha.

And it makes you feel bad.

It doesn't make me feel bad.

It makes me feel like they're fucking idiots.

yeah you know no it doesn't make me feel bad because i don't feel like i've done anything wrong or i'm doing anything that affects anybody especially the person posting about it sure it doesn't affect you in the least why do you care why would you continue to listen to a podcast in which you don't seem to like i don't know yeah and this is recent too this is this is what this was in june the post was well we're bringing the temperature down okay temperature's come on let's bring chili temperature down

cool you're fine we said our our relationship with reddit right i'm not going to go and and check it out.

Let you guys let me know how I'm going to try pot this weekend, Q.

Okay,

all right.

Let's move on.

There you go, Reddit.

Let's move on to Love Walt again.

Stop, stop, stop.

Do you commercial?

Okay, okay, okay.

It's the best time of year.

It's a time when temperatures and get cooled down.

And I'm going to get blotted.

All right.

All right.

All right.

All right.

Keep going with the commercials.

He's changing colors, cozy.

I got to spit on a cop.

Yeah, Troy, where are you?

Get over here.

Temperature's down here, boy.

No, no, that's what I mean.

I'm trying to be.

You can't go skin on cops.

Why?

Then I'm going to post about it on.

Yeah, he'll put it on social media.

Yeah, and then the Reddit can praise me.

He's going to get it out of it.

I'll get all the people I hate to buy you.

Swinging the other one.

That one, pal.

I don't think that people are down with that shit anymore.

You know, I think people are starting to like safety and stuff like that.

He's going to shut it.

He's going to start doing ACAB artwork.

When San Francisco's like, nah, we got to hire more more cops.

I think, you know, every CVS in the country is shutting down.

Defund.

Oh, there's a right A downstairs after this episode.

I'm going to fucking take it for everything I got.

I'm going in there.

I'm going to take $999 worth of merch so they can't fucking touch it.

Oh, especially if that's it.

In Hazlitt, that's still

the same rules apply to the law.

Especially if that old lady's behind the counter, the one who can't stand up.

Oh, yeah.

Fuck her.

The only one we can still outward.

Fuck the elderly.

Fuck the elderly.

Fucking curb stomper on the way out.

What's wrong, Grandma?

I can't stand up.

I got to be honest.

I think people are going to like this one.

Where's your pills now?

Oh, speaking of which, all the listeners who wrote in to me about my sciatica,

fuck you.

You didn't do me any good.

It turns out I don't have sciatica.

It's not their fault.

I know.

You misdiagnosed yourself.

You're pulling a giddham and diagnosing yourself.

I'm surprised you then drain something on your body willy-nilly and just hope that that would solve things.

It's all shriveled up.

I don't think it worked.

No, it turns out I had severe arthritis,

have severe arthritis in my knee and my right knee, and that's why I was.

Replacement time?

He said could be replacement time, gave me a cortisone shot,

which I thought was going to hurt like hell, but I didn't feel it at all.

And he said, this should be good for like six months.

He goes, if it's not good in like two weeks, then we got a problem.

All right.

So I got it.

This is week one, and it's pretty decent so far.

Stiffens up a little bit here and there, but you know,

I didn't expect it to be perfect.

Again, you haven't tried that Brett Favre copper sleeve?

Copper sleeve?

No, I got the machine that you.

No, no, this is not a machine.

It's just a piece of black fabric that has copper

fibers in it.

And Brett Favre has arthritis in his knee too, and he says it works like he says it helps?

Yeah, well, on the commercial, he does.

It's a good person.

I trust him because he's one of these immoral guys that fucking sends pictures of his cock everywhere.

What's wrong with him stealing money from a charity to build his daughter a volleyball court on her college

campus?

She can't get good to volleyball.

Fuck you, all you high moral fucking douchebags.

Fucking Reddit assholes.

You're going to judge Brett Favre, too?

Sorry, sorry.

And the good thing about the copper is it blocks the frequencies that they've been transmitting lately with these.

I just hope he sent a dick pic to the fucking prosecutor.

Like he's prone to,

which I support sending unsolicited dick pics.

New wall.

Yeah, that's the best kind.

Unsolicited is the only way to go where they're like, you know what the other end is.

I'm going to send an unsolicited dick pic to our lawyer.

Yeah, there you go.

Wait a minute.

Now we're getting to the bottom of this.

Come on, I hope he sends one back.

It was a 45-minute show.

He replies with one himself.

Touche.

Gonna frame that.

Oh, God.

He'll give Tom Brady a run for his money.

I'm not fucking around on the good looks department.

Where is this?

Dude, why can't Reddit say this shit about me?

Why is it always like, oh, he's a fucking creep, he's a jerk, he's an asshole?

Not like, oh, he's so handsome.

God, I wish he'd send me a dick pic.

Unsolicited.

I even give bunch of these people out there that think you're handsome.

Can somebody on Reddit please write that I'm handsome?

Please.

Please.

Even if you don't mean it, just write it.

You'll see it.

You'll get it.

Okay.

Get them.

I'm relying on you to find all my handsome comments.

You got it.

Also, get them.

Go on tonight and write a bunch of hands.

Yeah.

It's also my personal favorite holiday, Raycon's anniversary.

And if you're thinking, don't you mean Halloween?

Then let me ask you this.

Does Halloween also give 20 to 40% off premium electronics?

No.

Then listen up because Raycon's celebrating the anniversary with a sale you don't want to miss.

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That's why I like them because I pop them in my ears at night and I know that they're going to last all night.

The ones with the stems, the white ones, they die after like four hours.

And I need noise all night long.

So you want it to last all night long like you do?

Yeah, like me, yeah.

Take that, Reddit.

And this past year, they've expended their entire business with the introduction of Raycon Home and Raycon Power Tech.

So needless to say, there's a lot to celebrate.

So to thank everyone who's shown them support in the past six years, Raycon is offering 20% off everything on their site with select products up to 40%.

Wow.

You do not want to miss out on Raycon's anniversary, sale.

What are you going to do?

Wait another year for it?

You'd be a sucker.

Yeah.

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That's codebirthday at buyraycon.com slash T-E-SD to score 20 to 40% off by Raycon slash TESD.

And this is actually more of the housekeeping that I was talking about that we got to get going on here.

It's time for the Tell'em Steve Dave Gibson four Colored Demon SG Guitar.

giveaway.

Oh.

And this is what it looks like, boys.

There you go.

Whoa.

That's a picture of it.

Fuck, that looks nice.

It's looking pretty good, right?

Pretty fucking dope.

I could see fucking

any number of like top-end shredders.

Definitely.

That's a guitar Angus Young uses.

Yep, I could see Edward Van Halen using that.

I could see Jimmy Page.

I could see Hendrix.

That is fucking beautiful looking, man.

None of them played SGs, but still.

Wow.

Oh, really?

No.

I'm going to have.

Who's the most well-known SG?

Probably Angus Young.

Angus Young.

I would say Ang from AC DC.

Yeah, I would say he's the guy.

I'm going to tell Helen Tanter to win that.

Yeah.

She wins.

That would be amazing.

American Musical has partnered with the Tell Em Steve Day podcast to bring you this awesome Gibson SG standard electric guitar with a four-color demons graphic.

Enter now for your chance to win an 18, well, $17.99 value.

I might have to say that exactly.

$1,799 value.

And included in the giveaway is a Gibson SG standard ebony guitar with four-colored demon graphics.

And then you must complete the form,

which, okay, the contest ends October 31st, 2023.

You have to be 18 plus.

And sorry, foreigners, sorry, international.

You have to be a U.S.

resident to win.

And it is void where prohibited.

Where do I got to go to fill out a ballot?

Where do I have to go?

Is I will tell you right now.

Go to tellhamstevedave.com/slash AMS giveaway.

That's telehemstevevedave.com slash AMS giveaway.

Like I said, no purchase necessary.

Just visit that URL, fill out the form, and you're in.

So that's AMS like American Music Supply.

It is.

Okay.

Yep.

So some lucky listener at the end of the month will be winning that.

Pretty cool.

Shredding their way through the holidays.

Shredding their way through the holidays.

You're right.

Get them.

Now, I hate to say this because last week, Walt, you were insisting that I give you

an example when I said a lot of people in Hollywood pretend they're wholesome and they're not.

And you had me on the ropes.

I got to say you threw me for a loop.

I wasn't able to answer.

Little did I know.

I didn't need to look any further than Andy Griffith himself.

What?

That's right.

Because I looked up.

The Sheriff of Mayberry.

The Sheriff of Mayberry.

I looked up

celebrities you thought were wholesome but aren't.

And there are some celebrities on there

on the like celebrities so wholesome you can't believe it.

Like Angelina Jolie.

and I'm like wasn't she wearing vials of blood and making out with her brother and all kinds of weird stuff sure but I mean at one time years ago now does that is that

displaced or supplanted by her recent good stuff like adopting kids and doing a lot for charity and shit like that yeah I think you gotta allow especially positive change shouldn't you allow

should you

Yes, I'm just kidding.

I'm just kidding.

Yeah.

I would say she's wholesome.

So she's wholesome?

Yeah.

I don't hear anything about it.

You don't think that

a lot of nudity in films?

Some people would say that's not wholesome.

But I think a porn star could turn around and become wholesome.

Yeah.

No.

That was my next question for Walt.

Like, how far away am I from wholesome?

Can I make that leap to wholesome?

If you had asked me last week, I'd have an answer for you.

Yeah.

But the new unwholesome Walt

doesn't give a fuck.

Me and you were going to.

All right, well, then maybe it's now the worst time for me to fucking go wholesome.

Now I can buddy around with Walt.

We can spit on cops and

piss on people's cars and all kinds of shit.

Knock pizza out of homeless people's hands.

So we all know what are you talking about?

Didn't someone knock pizza out of a homeless person's hands?

Po possibly at some point.

Okay.

I thought it was Menger somebody.

Oh, I don't know.

No, I'm not sure.

Andy Griffith show.

Okay magazine said they can rip the lid off the shameful secrets including the beloved stars boozing, cheating, and cruelty to kindly spinster Aunt B.

Oh, not Aunt B.

Yeah, this is what they're saying.

Now, I don't know if this is true, but it's like George Lindsay, who played Goober Pyle, the mechanic on the show, noted Griffith's volatile moods in his 1995 memoir, Goober in a Nutshell.

Most of us were deathly afraid of Andy.

Every Monday night, he would call you if he liked your performance.

If the call didn't come, I dreaded going back to work on Tuesday morning.

The star's white-hot rages were unbearable.

And during a furious fight with his first wife, Barbara, he punched out the car's windshield.

Then he admitted he saw a shrink for more than a dozen years to control his anger.

They said that he was bitter and he was also a disabled alcoholic, or sorry, an alcoholic, not disabled.

What's the problem?

I don't see the problem at all.

See, had this been last week, this would have meant something.

I didn't know I was going with a new fucking wall.

If she didn't mouth off, he wouldn't have broke a window out.

Well, we certainly have one side of the story.

Griffith also had an affair with, you guys would know who this is, Helen Crump.

Yeah.

The teacher.

It became his real-life lover almost immediately after joining the cast in 1963.

And the couple's tour to fair was one of the worst kept secret on the set.

Now, Giddam, are you still wholesome?

Is Giddam wholesome?

No.

No?

Okay.

No.

Because I started thinking, like, my definition was just like that you don't use substances, but.

It has to be more than that, right?

I don't think you've been cheating on your wife.

He thinks unwholesome thoughts, though.

Does he?

Yeah, what are you thinking about?

Especially about our lawyer.

You guys don't think you need a window and just fucking around.

Jesus Christ, man.

Is he doing?

Is this guy on Instagram or something?

We could take a look at him.

I really don't want to reveal his name.

He's got to come on.

So I could say, oh, he's going to come on.

He's going to come on.

I would, but I'm covered under an NDA, so I can't have that information now.

Speaking of being handsome, I figured out a way that I can be as handsome as as BQ.

All I need to do is take a hammer and smash all the bones in my face.

What?

You're wondering, hey, how is that going to work?

Viral bone smashing trend is so horrifying it could ruin your face.

This is a TikTok trend, you guys.

The latest viral TikTok trend is supposedly convincing people, mostly young men, to break their bones to achieve a chiseled jawline.

So what these people doing, bone smashing, is the practice of repeatedly hitting one's bones, typically the cheekbones or jawbones, with a hard object like a hammer, to create micro fractures in the hope that the bone structure will heal in a more attractive shape.

Oh my God.

So a homemade plastic.

What do you think?

Should I go for it?

No.

I still, even into

Unwholesome Walt thinks you should see a doctor if you're thinking about changing your bone structure of your face.

Well, I don't know about changing your bone structure because, like, look, if I didn't have the beard, as I've said in the past, I have a a very weak chin.

It's like kind of recessed a little bit.

So like if I went to the

to the plastic surgeon and was like, hey, give me a little bit more of a chin so I don't look so a Bruce Campbell.

Yeah, give me some Bruce Campbell action.

Yeah.

Then that I sort of get.

But yeah, smashing your, like, to change your face.

But to smash your bones, I'm not sure

that's a great idea.

It doesn't sound scientific, that's for sure.

The hashtag bone smashing has 262 million views on TikTok.

Who are they trying to look good for?

I guess girls, right?

Guys.

There's always going to be a girl that thinks you're good.

Always, man.

Always, of course.

You have to smash your face with a hammer.

In fact, the fact that you're smashing your face with a hammer probably makes you, you know, unsuitable for 95% of the people that you'd want to attract anyway.

Chances are it's not going to work.

Yeah.

You're going to be all swollen.

You're also the type of guy that hits their own face with a hammer.

I mean, look, if you're Steve-O, that'll work out.

Right.

Right?

Yeah.

But but I don't think you know Steve Steve O has a lot of charisma I don't know if the average person smashing their face does that

probably not I would guess not I would guess not so yeah they're asking you to not go and smash your face with hammers or other heart objects I think I would call that good advice there's not many people that can

do self-harm to their own face.

I think that's one of those areas.

It's almost...

It's like trying to drown yourself.

Yeah, it's so like your body just won't allow you to harm your face.

I mean, you can harm your arm, you know, like cutting and stuff like that, but

your face is just a different territory, in my opinion.

But I guess obviously not if there's some

there's people out there that are able to do it, or maybe they got their friend to do it for them, you know?

Like, do it, just do it.

You know how we have, I have a new idea for a feature, a semi-regular feature, you know, kind of like, you know, you, you hit learn learn something new every day in fat news

but I had this idea you know with Tom Brady being retired now

it probably means he won't be in the news as much as he was when he was playing sure sadly so that to give me an opportunity to talk about him you know

more on the show yeah as I because I enjoy that I was thinking about coming up with a segment called Brady Bulletins.

Okay.

We just do stories about, just to give you some information about what Tom Brady's up to lately and what he's doing.

Yeah.

And like, not everybody.

He checks his watch.

Brady Bulletins.

And the first one is, did you guys know that he was hired by

Sam Bankman?

Have you heard of that guy?

Oh, that's the FTX guy, right?

Yeah, it's the guy with the

crypto guy.

The crypto guy.

Even I know that one.

Yeah, all right.

And you know how he's in hot water, right?

Sam Bankman.

Is he out of hot water?

Is he still in hot water?

I think he's still in a lot of hot water.

And he's probably going to go to jail, right?

Well,

his lover is about to testify.

Have you seen the lover?

No.

Oh, you got to Google the lover.

Is it

like his hot, sexy lawyer or no?

No.

No.

Not even close.

You would think with the kind of bank this guy had, they called fucking Bankman.

I mean, holy shit, man.

well okay love is blind this this guy should be smashing his face with a hammer don't don't shame

don't shame people on reddit to go about how handsome you are if you're out here calling this woman

i'm just hey he asked if she was a hot sexy lawyer and i said no she's not no that's not what you said

hold on i'll find her and you know what i'll i'll let you guys make the decision then while you're looking i'm gonna give you why i thought this was interesting to bring up he was hired by bankman brady

to do

these commercials, right?

They all did the commercials.

But he was given $165 million

for 60 minutes of work

spaced out over three years.

So he just wanted year one, I need 20 minutes from you.

Year two, I need 20 minutes from you.

And in year three, I need 20 minutes from you.

And I'll give you $165 million.

Uh-huh.

Jesus.

That's crazy, right?

I mean, it's a 2050.

Well, that's why the guy's in trouble because he was throwing around money that wasn't his.

Well, okay, but what I really want to talk to you about was

after reading the article and looking up and seeing what was being posted on social media, was there seemed to be more anger directed at Tom Brady after it turned out that this was a sham company and it was a pyramid scheme.

Like, how is that his fault?

That's what I'm wondering, but you would have saw these.

I don't know if you guys know this, but the internet is infested with fucking maggots.

Yeah.

You don't say.

Let's just get it reporting here.

They want it.

There's people out there demanding that Brady have to go to jail too for this, for the

indiscretions of the company and the crimes and the sins of the company he would have to pay for too.

Could you imagine?

And the things that they're writing about how they wanted him raped in jail.

Whoa.

Some of these these fucking want Tom Brady raped?

Yeah.

Like some of these things.

I can't wait to see what happens to him in jail.

Somebody thinks Tom Brady's going to jail.

Well,

yeah, really.

But what I want to say to those fucking mental midgets who think that Tom Brady would be anybody's bitch in jail.

I don't think you say the M-word anymore, bro.

Midget?

Yeah.

Well, I don't mean it.

I can't say mental smile.

I don't know.

I didn't mean short in status.

I'm trying to bring down the heat.

This is whole cue.

I just meant short on IQ points.

Yeah.

Lacking in the middle of the middle.

I think mental midgets are still okay.

Yeah, probably then it's still okay then, I guess.

I don't know.

But these trying to bring down the temperature around here, Walt.

I don't want to.

No hot button.

Who think that Tom Brady would be any fucking prisoner's bitch in jail are out of their minds.

Yeah.

Tom Brady, if he puts his mind to it, he would own whatever cell block.

It became the worst cell block on the planet.

If in a week, he would run that fucking cell block.

It's usually the way it goes.

Rich, white, handsome guys come in and everybody else bows and listens to them.

There's somebody that's going to take him just to be like, I fucking took Tom Brady, man.

But he's the best at what he does no matter what it is because he puts his mind to it.

With that kind of

determined abilities.

You better worry more about pliability than determinability.

No, he'd surround himself with people.

No, he doesn't need anybody.

He would run that cell block.

He would

take out the biggest, baddest motherfucker in the cell block just to show everybody that he would train

like an assassin for it, but

he could be the president or he could be the fucking leader of a fucking cell block.

Why doesn't he do it then?

Become fucking president because the ass clowns that are surrounding the fucking election now.

Like, let's get Tom Brady for president.

Why not?

Speaker of the House.

It's up.

He has shown he can accomplish anything.

Virtually the impossible.

Why not, then president?

Or

couldn't hold on to Giselle?

Or the king of a prison?

That's the one thing he couldn't do.

He couldn't hold on to Giselle.

He didn't want her.

No?

Nope.

Okay.

He let her go.

He knew he was going to retire.

Set her free.

And he's had all this free time and all this money.

Kids are going to be old enough soon.

Makes total sense.

He just wants to probably show her what it was like on the other side and have her come crawling back on her.

I've seen her.

I saw her down at Carnival dancing and having a great time oh yeah oh yeah for the paparazzi she's dancing but as soon as the paparazzi get in her car and drive away the tears start falling okay all right well i'm going to show you this the sam bankman freed's girlfriend okay now you can you can make your determination q yeah go ahead

that looks she looks like she's 12.

she does look like she's 12.

But are you going to be like, is this BQ's

hot meter?

Where's she falling the hot meter?

It's not about saying that she's hot meter.

What happened to this fucking guy?

I told you about that.

Let me try the table.

I'm trying to bring the fucking temperature.

She's done.

She says he doesn't comment on things he doesn't like.

What's that?

She's done nothing wrong.

You don't know that.

Well, yeah.

She's not driving.

I think she was in on it.

No, she's calling to testify against him.

Right.

So that means she knew something.

But this is the kind of thing, though, like you calling out her on her looks.

It's.

I didn't call her out for her looks.

I'm just saying.

You said

she looked like a hot, sexy lawyer.

I said, no, she doesn't.

Let's go back to the audience.

You called her out on her looks, not me.

I asked if she did.

Right, so you want a real answer?

No, here's the answer.

Here's your answer.

That could be a bad picture of her.

Okay, let me find the fucking 500 others that look exactly the same.

I don't know what happened to this podcast.

What's going on here?

We're bringing the temperature down.

They're in one episode.

We're trying to bring the temperature down.

I have three shows of Space Monkeys to do on a cruise.

I don't know if I can depend on this guy now.

Well, you know, in international waters.

Oh, you're right.

We can say Metropolitania.

And he's going to be lubricated, right?

Yeah, so Jameson and there he is.

Oh, it's a new me, bro.

It's going to be professional,

you know, buttoned up, like Chuck taught me to be.

Only up.

Oh, my God.

Oh, my God.

Do you have any more Brady stuff?

Is that it?

I have one more story, though, that I can't believe we neglected to talk about.

And it's shocking that

it didn't take sole possession over any news

story.

It was a couple weeks ago,

Mexico revealed the corpses of aliens during a congressional hearing what yeah yeah i didn't see this either yeah how's this not bigger news oh it's they're trying to keep it they're trying to keep it quiet

insane yeah they re there's pictures of

miniature they call them childlike bodies yeah

of aliens and this was done on the congressional floor in Mexico

and it's not the biggest story on the planet and i don't know and i want to ask you guys why why are they suppressing this story nasa is claiming it's it's trying to debunk it so hard that you're like you know there's some smoke there

nasa's going after like it's almost racist what they're saying about mexico looks like crumpy

yeah let me take a look at him it does look a little bit like crumpy

it says we need to buy him get him at the night fair the night fair queue yeah maybe you can pick up a child alien corpse but what is it so what are they saying

just tell you just sent an email looking for a child and then in the body of the email alien corpse

looking for an alien child

the bottom part gets corpse off in the transmission

but like there's news coverage barely about it

well it was it was covered a lot here video from a french tv show 66 minutes taken in 2018 shows what appears to be eerily similar bodies bodies that were debunked as being made up.

Of course, they're trying to debunk it now because they don't want the truth to be bone.

This is a femur, one is facing the wrong way.

That's because it's an alien.

You can't hold it.

They did some bone standards to our bone.

It is complete skeletal.

I haven't seen that.

I haven't seen that yet.

Nobody has said we've done tests on this.

The only thing I've seen is it's been debunked.

You're too busy eating other people's hamburgers.

Mexican doctors claim that

the mummified specimens believed by UFO researchers to be aliens are not made of different bones, but belong to a single skeleton.

And then you then, of course, NASA came out and I thought it was really

harsh how like how they were like so quick to like

debunk it and be like, they haven't even seen it.

And they want to come out and just like shame Mexico.

Alien shame them.

I'm telling you, kink shaman, alien shaman.

It hurts.

It hurts.

I don't know, man.

I guess I got to do some research on it, but if I have to believe either some Mexican congressman person I've never heard of before or the American,

you know, NASA, I'm probably going to believe NASA.

And again, and I think that speaks to a little bit of privilege, though, that.

Bias.

Yeah, and bias, that you will automatically assume that the American standard has to to like put their stamp of approval on it before.

I can't believe he's saying this shit during Hispanic Heritage Month.

You're fucking unreal.

He's trying to cool down the temperature.

Right.

Now, if this had been done on the

floors of Congress in America, you think that it would have got a different reaction?

I mean, it feels like we're days away from that happening.

So maybe, I don't know.

You know, maybe it depends who trusts politicians anymore.

I think it is very easy to be, because it's another country,

to be like, to dismiss it.

And it's not like it's Mexico, it's not England.

I'm not dismissing it.

NASA's dismissing it.

NASA.

Yeah, but they have a vested interest in dismissing it.

What is their interest?

Because they fucking want all the fucking, the fucking ink.

They want the props and the be like, oh, okay, we have deemed it worthy.

We have deemed it alien.

But why wouldn't they be like, why wouldn't they, like, if I'm if I'm NASA and this is real, I'm not like, let me squash this.

I'm like, well, fuck, our budget just went up because now we just, we just proved that there's aliens on this planet.

Now, suddenly, every dime we make has got to be fucking going to NASA.

So, if I'm them, like, I don't know.

I think, I think they would love for aliens to be real.

You would see the NASA budget shoot through the fucking dude.

But

they already have a massive budget, and they're not finding these bodies.

Mexico is.

Yeah.

What does that tell you?

You know, I don't know if you know this, but scientists are more catty than fucking teenage girls.

Oh, go on.

Yeah, go on.

They are fucking so like,

they want the the credit.

They want the fucking paper.

Are you talking about peer review?

Paper names.

They want their names in all the

studies.

They want something named after them.

Hawking Tyson.

That's better than just everybody coming up with their own shit and being like, oh, yeah, I guess that's true.

Right.

But again, I do believe, though, that there's.

You think NASA is a bunch of petty bitches.

Oh, yeah.

Oh, yeah.

It's like a sorority house.

NASA.

I mean, it's the name of a sorority house.

North American.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Which Mexico is a part of.

They're NASA at.

No, they're Central America.

Central America?

Start of Central?

NASA.

North America is just American in Canada?

That's a problem.

Yeah, I guess it does make sense that Mexico is Central American, man.

Yeah.

To be sure.

I don't know.

I just thought that it was kind of.

We stole half the country from them.

How the fuck are we suddenly North American and they're not?

No, we're dumb.

It's North America.

Well, you're not dumb, Q.

Oh, all right.

I thought it was unprofessional, though, for them to be just like, they should issue a comment, but be like, we'll have to wait to see until we get a chance to look at it.

But we are not going to make any claims that call into question the credibility of Mexico.

We can't confirm or deny.

Yes, that's what you do as a professional.

Yeah.

Not these little fucking

judge, not real.

But what if they did confirm and deny?

And what if they did look at the signs and were like, that's not.

No, no,

they flat out said that they haven't seen, they were not able to look at the bodies.

Okay.

Yeah.

As if NASA would be handing these bodies all over to every country, too, if every country wanted them.

You know, they wouldn't.

They know they wouldn't.

They keep those moon rocks in a safe for a reason.

Actually, they let the moon rocks go out.

to any country that wants them when they're done with them.

They tried to trot that out as a like, you know, when we brought the moon rocks back, we let every country take a look at them yeah yeah what's this rock

do what don't you like about that

what's going on here man like trying to buck for an award or something like oh the maverick would

that new jersey maverick awards

oh man but i thought it's crazy though that it didn't get more coverage though well it just seems like it's bullshit so it's like it was like why would it get more more coverage?

I don't know why you think it's bullshit.

Only because you saw some articles that say it's bullshit.

Only because NASA says it is.

No, NASA.

Yeah, well, NASA doesn't believe it.

I mean, I'll do more research.

I'll do it.

But if you look, it seems to be

a handful of people are like, oh, it's been debunked already.

That is not true, though.

Okay, well, can you send me a link to the article that

supports this?

Oh, absolutely.

I have plenty of them here.

Because I'd love to see that.

Yeah, look at all the articles links I got here.

Sure, but just send me one that's positive.

Okay.

That you're relying on.

What's changed your mind so much?

I'm going to send it to Bry.

Then Bry can send it to you because he came up in my airdrop.

For some reason, you didn't.

I don't know why you still haven't given me your text and your phone number yet.

It's kind of weird that you still don't.

Oh, and I'm reading about it, Q.

It's awesome.

You should get an airdrop.

I thought maybe when you got that new phone, I would get the

phone number, but

still waiting?

Still waiting.

I feel like I'm taking crazy pills today.

All right.

You know, it's not crazy.

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That's what I've been playing lately.

Oh, the remake?

Yeah, the remake.

Pretty good, right?

I thought they did a good job.

Except, like, I'm such a puss that, like, when I'm like, I'll play, but then when it comes to, like, flying, like, there's certain like zero gravity and you have to fly, and I get nauseous right away.

Yeah.

So Mary Beth has to do those parts.

They made those flying controls better, though, this time.

I guess you would have done it.

No, I did it.

I did it, but by the end, I was all sweaty and feeling sick and shit.

I think you take some of those seasickness pills.

I didn't think I would have to to play a video game, but I think I'm going to next.

Or maybe one of those bracelets.

Or like the patch.

Like I have one of the patches.

And put a bicycle helmet on, too, while you're playing.

Probably.

Well, I'll already wear that.

Yeah.

Maryabeth doesn't want me to hurt myself.

And knee pants.

Copperfit knee pants.

Why is the lawyer coming over to play?

Red Favre wears them.

Meondez is here to keep you comfy.

And look, we had a guy.

I hate to mention his name, but Frank Five.

You really hate mentioning names.

I do.

He was still wearing these old fucking burlap-y, heavy-duty cotton underpants.

Why?

You saw him walking around your house when he stayed over?

That's all he wears.

Well, he was wearing a robe, but it was open.

No, no, no.

He told me.

He told me.

Because I had a bunch of beyond these that I hadn't opened yet.

And I was like, hey, do you want some?

Well, you know,

we've been on multiple trips now.

It is crazy how many times

a maid has walked into his room with him being completely nude.

Almost like he wants it to happen.

Yeah.

So that's why when you said that he was walking around with his bathrobe open, open, I wasn't that shocked.

No, you're not even shocked.

So Frank Five got some of these Miundis that I gave him.

Whole new world, he says.

Yeah.

Different world.

He's like, I don't know why.

The world of modal.

Yep.

He doesn't know why he resisted.

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Do they make girdles?

They don't make them yet, but they do make a lot of other stuff.

They're in the market for a girdle.

Yeah, you need a girdle?

Yeah.

Otherwise,

it just makes my figure look a little bit more spelt.

A little more hourglassy.

Not hourglassy.

No, you don't want that.

Straight as a rod.

Okay.

You want to look rigid and fucking uncomfortable.

I got it.

Now I'm envisioning me tying up his corset when he comes into work every day.

I want to get one before the next time I meet with the lawyer.

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All right, all right, all right.

What else we got here?

Have you decided what you're going to be for Halloween Q?

I have not.

You know, I'm trying to maybe not do the Ghostbuster this year because I do it every year I know you got the great Batman costume I do have the great Batman costume if possible and we also I mean you can go back into the costume room and there's a multitude of costumists back there is a great Bigfoot costume back there sure yeah maybe we could do something like that yeah I'm going to catch

Hollywood horror nights oh yeah where's that in Orlando

next week oh yeah flying down to experience some some thrills are you going to dress up so no one knows who you are

I don't think I need to because I'm going with Fatone, and he's got that.

He gets that special treatment that the Impractical Jokers will never get.

The Fast Pass?

I think it's beyond.

It's beyond fast pass.

Yeah, I think it's just like, get on this golf cart.

We'll drive you to the next one, Mr.

Fatone, type thing.

But you have to be in costume, though.

No, I would be.

But you want to be, right?

Probably not.

I mean, you know.

I mean, I could.

Yeah, I mean, getting the spirit of that.

I'm going to be honest.

I kind of been like, I'm hoping Halloween turns it around.

I wouldn't say I've been depressed lately, but I've definitely been like checked out

everything lately.

I know that feeling.

It's not quite the same as depression because there's not like this self-loathing, but it is just like this why-bother

attitude that's in everything that I have going on right now.

Yes, and you're hoping Halloween will jumpstart?

I didn't

until you revealed how little I've been thinking about Halloween, and I love it.

And I'm like, maybe I should be like fucking trying to get into it a little bit more.

Maybe a new costume.

Maybe a new costume, something real high-end in the thousands.

Oh, like when they have the Hollywood parties, and it's like Heidi Klum is like this alien that looks good enough to be in a movie.

Yeah,

yeah, that's what you need to do.

I don't know.

Shake it up a little.

I don't know if I spend any money on that's the answer.

I don't know.

I don't know, man.

We don't know what's going on.

He just bought those Frankenstein stand-ups for outside his family.

Yeah, they were like 10 bucks.

I don't know, man.

I got to figure something out.

Well, okay.

I don't feel very good.

No.

Well, maybe maybe I'm hoping the

horror night

turns it around.

I wasn't gonna go, and then I was like, you know what?

Just fucking go.

Just go.

Like, get out of that.

I mean, I'm away fucking every weekend this month, which sucks, but like, I was like, just go, just do it.

So hopefully I'll come back.

That photon magic, you know what I mean?

Like, he's got that.

When you're around him, you feel good.

Rub him.

Rub his, like, you know, like Aladdin's lamp.

I would like to.

Have that genie come out.

Yeah.

That genie.

All over you.

If it would be anybody, it would be Fatone.

There you go.

You haven't met our lawyer.

No,

that's true.

Yeah.

Yeah, I haven't smashed my face with a hammer yet.

So my last question, and either Giddam or Q, you guys might, you might know this.

When someone dies in a house fire

and they don't have smoke in their lungs, how does the pathologist know?

Like CO in their blood.

It's in their blood?

Okay.

I didn't know, like, this is how dumb I am.

I was like, I didn't know if they cut the lungs open and there was actually smoke in there.

No, you could just do it.

It's usually there's no, there's not even smoke in the lungs is never the issue.

It's the CO that gets you.

Yeah.

Yeah.

And that could kill you.

I mean, like, I, there was a fireman who died on Staten Island in the past decade.

The fire was out and he kicked the wall just to break it open and a plume of CO just hit him and killed him instantly.

He died right there.

So it's really, it's like they could just do a blood test and

see what your CO levels are.

All right.

Hey,

you can get exposed to CO and not smoke.

100%.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Why was that a question that you wanted?

Because I watch a lot of these like new detectives and murder shows and stuff like that.

And they're constantly talking about somebody dying in a house fire, like, but they didn't have smoke in their lungs.

So it means they were dead prior to the fire prior to the fire.

I mean, look, I just go on, you know firemen were blunt tools.

We know we're not scalpels.

So it's a whole science I'm sure that I don't understand or no yeah, but I know that sounds real usually CO that kills people.

All right.

Yeah, like if they were actively trying to get out there probably like like burns through the

through the air passageways in the superheated air.

Well, what happened to Weird Al's parents?

They had a blocked fireplace and CO went in.

That's how they died in their sleep.

Yeah, what's her name?

Oh, what the fuck is that lady's name?

Another actor.

Alicia Witt, her parents, same thing.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Up in Massachusetts, I think.

One of their, like their furnace backed up or something and they died from that.

It's crazy, yeah.

SEAL is no joke.

Everybody should know.

SEAL detectors checked.

Yep.

Check your batteries right now, actually.

Yep.

It's about that time of year when you're supposed to.

Yeah, when you switch over, when you switch the time difference, the daylight savings is supposed to change the battery and your

smoking detectors.

Can you come over and check mine?

Sure.

Thank you, Gary.

I'd ask you to check mine, but you have a history of not showing up.

He's He's been hobbled lately.

Yeah.

Like he can barely, you know, move.

It's like

an invalid.

I used to be like you, Giddem, up until a week ago.

He got the cortisone shot.

Yeah.

That's all you need, a cortisone shot.

Let me ask you guys before we go.

Because I think Gidem has I think he has the most respect for you, BQ, and he would listen to your thoughts on a cycle list.

He won't know a single thing I've said yet, so I don't know why he's not.

I think he listens, but then putting it into action is

that's the rub and everything.

I think he knows you probably are right, but it's he has a

he has this hang-up about having these weird battles.

And I tell him that I don't think these are battles worthy of your attention, time,

and

just the effort that

and the amount of thought you put into it.

I don't think they're worthy.

And I could be wrong.

Maybe

shoot them.

I'll give give you my opinion.

So

he

prints out

receipts

that are not real.

So when he's asked, when he's leaving a store, can I see your receipt, sir?

You know, like at Walmart, you'll have that guy who checks the receipt as you walk out.

I was just at Home Depot on the way here, and it happened.

Yeah.

Okay.

Well, he theorizes that that is.

They can't do that to him.

They can't make him

show them a receipt.

He doesn't want to to be treated, excuse me, as if he's a potential shoplifter.

So he gives them a fake receipt that he gets printed out on the internet that when you turn it over, it explains why you have no right to ask me for a receipt.

He covers, when he goes into ShopRight, he covers the camera on the self-checkouts, causing so much

attention to be drawn to him that people come over to him and ask him what he's doing because he's acting very unusual.

And he then tries to then act like, well, what am I doing wrong?

Like that kind of like, well, why are you persecuting me?

Why are you, why are you coming over here and bothering me?

Why?

Like, even though he's drawing so much attention to himself, because he wants these weird victories that like technically, I guess he's quote unquote right.

He's not right.

He's going into a private business and fucking, they have their policies.

If you don't like their policies, shop somewhere else.

Or, or, and I know that I'm not the one you're going to, get a girlfriend.

Get a fucking girlfriend.

You won't have time for this shit.

I think he still would.

Yeah.

Or he'd be dating a girl that's like, yeah, they don't have any right to show you.

Yes.

Yes, I think you might have.

He would love an echo chamber girlfriend, I think.

Oh, yeah.

Yeah.

That's a rough one, man.

Can you imagine the get him echo chamber?

Oh, double, double stereo.

Oh, yeah.

But what, yeah.

And I maintained to him, I was like, when he tells me all these things, he does it with like this big

grin as if he's won, like, you know, he's just won Bunker Hill or something.

he's won nothing.

He's saying that people making minimum wage and made their days harder.

That's basically all he's fucking done.

No, I don't want to, I don't want to make their lives harder.

I just, you know, I don't have to submit to receipt checking if I don't agree with you.

Go to the store.

Go to another store.

They don't check receipts.

Like, that's your choice.

That's what I did.

And then all of a sudden, oh, now because we're having a shoplifting problem, we're starting to check for receipts.

You find another store.

But it's not on you to tell you.

He shook his head.

No, he shook you off, Kiel.

You say, yeah, he shook you off.

He said, no.

But why do you have the right to tell them what policies they have?

Because you can't legally ask somebody for a receipt unless it's part of an agreement, like when you join the store, like a Costco or a BJs.

Oh, yes.

He threw that at me.

Only BJs and Costco have a right to check a membership

because you signed a membership stating that they could.

We got to ask the hot lawyer about that because I'm not sure that he's right about that anyway.

But two, it's just like, so what's but just show him the fucking receipt.

Who cares?

He's looking for victories, though.

And I feel like I know.

Victory is living a life without worrying about shit like this.

That's the victory.

Like, if you left the bank and all of a sudden a guard stopped you said, hey, I want to count that money.

Yeah, but that's not what's going on.

Is it not?

You completed a transaction, and now you're leaving with your merchandise that you've completed a transaction for.

Yeah, but you're comparing that to the business.

Why should they?

No.

That's not.

They're trying to prevent the problem that they're having.

The teller is the one that's the last line of defense to make sure you get the right money, not the security guard.

The cashier.

And then in this situation,

L Chi Beak went into the vault, bypassed the teller, got his own money.

You don't think they have a right to ask him to submit

the money?

I go to the ATM, and as I'm walking away from the ATM, guards stop me.

I want to count that money.

Let me see your receipt.

You know what it does, Giddam?

It makes it so people don't steal shit.

It makes it so all the prices for the rest of us don't fucking go up like they have been.

Show your fucking receipt and stop being such a bitch about it.

Like, who cares?

That's the easiest like you're going to do.

Don't be so hard on them, though.

Okay.

No, because then they want to.

Let's down.

Let's bring the temperature down.

Come on.

Come on.

But they not only want to.

We spent an hour here trying to bring the temperature down.

You still want to bring it up.

I know.

They not only want to see it.

Unattainable fucking temperature.

It's my nature.

They not only want to see your receipt.

They say they have the right to go through all your stuff then.

But subconsciously, he doesn't even realize it, though.

He needs victory somewhere.

And I think these are the victories he's trying to get.

He doesn't even realize that

why he's doing it is because he needs to

pwn somebody.

And on the internet, it's just not enough sometimes.

You got to pwn her flesh and blood.

Yeah, you got to pone them.

I don't want to go look in their eyes and pwn them.

I don't want to get the guy who's making minimum wage to check receipts.

I don't want them to go through my stuff.

I don't want them to scrutinize my purchases.

It's not there scrutinizing your purchases.

This expired three days ago.

No, yeah, they're supposed to be.

They're supposed to be comparing the receipt to what the purpose of it is.

You can get a parasite if you did that.

We're supposed to be comparing the receipt to the the items that you purchase.

No, it's weird.

I don't see because you know what people are doing.

You go to those stores.

So now you are the guy that's just like, the store should operate the way I want it to operate.

You're that guy now.

No, that's who you are.

Operate the way all tons of other stores operate.

Go to those stores.

Like, don't go to the store.

I don't want to go to those stores.

I want to go to my, I want to go to my store.

I want to go to the store.

I want it.

I want it to be the way that I want it to be because I'm me.

No, because all of a sudden they just put up.

I love that squeaky little voice.

That's the BQ everybody loves.

Just because they throw up a little sheet of paper doesn't mean that they instantly have a right that they don't actually have.

They do have a right, though.

They do not.

It's a private business.

Well, you don't have a right to them not asking you.

They can ask you if they want on the way out the door.

They have to have prop under New Jersey law, they have to have probable cause.

They can.

And if they do not have probable cause, they cannot stop.

Well, what's the definition of probable cause?

Probable cause is that you believe someone has stolen something.

What if they believe you stole something?

What's the probable cause?

You're acting weird by confusing the fucking camera.

You walk around around with

facial recognition.

You tell them cameras, you're walking around with fake receipts in your pocket.

You're walking probable cause.

This isn't a small victory.

You're wrong, Walt.

This is a major victory for him.

Oh, yeah.

That camera is solely for facial recognition.

I don't know what they're doing with that data, and it bothers me.

One small step for man, one giant leap for get him.

It's not just me.

You act like it's just me.

I don't know.

Who else is doing this that we know?

I've never seen one of them.

I mean, not necessarily that you know.

Probably wrong.

Yeah.

That fucking wall.

He should be hiding his face now.

I love it that you're going this hard on him, but I thought you have a little bit more tenderness in your heart to kind of explain to him in a way that maybe he would understand.

He's just like my father.

These are not victories that you should be searching for, trying to

get under your belt.

Right.

Okay, that's the handle you wanted.

Well, I thought maybe that like he like he doesn't respond well to the angle you just took, that harsh love.

Yeah.

Yeah, he needs, he needs a

light tap on the face.

Well, how about this?

How rather than a hard kick in the ass that this comes from this need from Getham to have wins.

Yeah, W's.

I believe so.

I'm not a psychologist.

I would say to get him under that umbrella that like I just judge like one.

That's all right.

I would be like, but you're you're winning.

You're winning.

You have the life you want.

You have a job.

You work with your friends.

Nobody asks too much of you.

You know what I mean?

You're semi-famous in a way.

Like people like you.

You're a cast member on a popular popular thing.

Like he's got the wins.

I've had this feeling for decades.

It's always been something that sticks in my craw.

And like receipt checking.

Show him your fake receipts.

I think it's just a problem, man.

I think

you showed me yesterday.

I had to pull him up on the TV, but I will.

Look at him.

Like, I don't know that if you don't see this as a problem, that's all of society have, which is just like, it's not the way that I want it.

So it's no good.

I should know.

That's what everybody says, man.

I should know.

I didn't create this fake receipt.

Somebody else did.

Right, but I just copied it.

Right.

And you print them out and use them.

Yes.

I'm not saying you created it.

Yes.

But you're just making

somebody else's life more difficult, acting weird in a store.

Yes,

you're the only person putting their hand over the camera.

It's a facial recognition camera.

That is all it is.

It does not record anything except for your face.

And I have a problem with that because I don't know where that data is going.

His point is, though, his point is, you're the only one doing it.

I don't know if I'm the only one doing it, but I don't believe I'm the only one doing it.

Regardless of what your reasons are, but they probably got their receipts checked, too.

I mean, yeah, like your behavior from the time you walk into the store until the time you walk out makes people say, Maybe, like, maybe we should give this guy a second cause.

Probable cause, yeah, he's covering up, he's covering up facial recognition shit.

Maybe he doesn't want us to see him like stealing a receipt.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, he's telling us that we can't check receipts.

He comes in here with fake receipts, you gotta watch out for him.

Probable cause,

right?

I mean, I don't see how

you can't accept that that's not

probable cause?

No, because by that point in time, I've already completed my purchase.

I'm completing my purchase.

Right, but they don't know what you have in your pockets.

Look at those massive pockets.

Okay, so do they have so they had someone watch me put stuff in my pockets?

I have never put stuff in my pockets.

I just want to know, but you have a reputation for handing out fake receipts and you're covering cameras.

Like, that's suspicious behavior.

It's only a fake receipt in that it's a receipt and it's not real.

It's a fucking

fake receipt.

It explains what what it's covering cameras.

It explains what it is.

That's suspicious behavior, bud.

How do you not see that?

It's not suspicious behavior post.

Declaring it's suspicious behavior because someone doesn't want to submit to something is not.

You don't have to submit.

Don't go to that store.

Go to a store that funds.

So if I claim the Fifth Amendment, that's suspicious because I refuse to.

What shop right are you going to?

West Long Branch.

But it's expanding to a lot of the other Sakers.

Yes.

What's with the shaking of the head?

It's the area.

I go to ShopRight over here.

I don't see any security.

Well, no, no.

It's been slowly clamping down because, you know, they want to cut costs.

So they have two cashiers covered 10 registers, self-checkouts, and they were letting everyone just check out with all their stuff.

Now

they cut it down to 30 items.

Now they cut it down to 20 items.

And there's like, it's almost like steps you have to take to just to check out.

Do you not acknowledge, though, that

nobody around you, nobody you know is acting this way?

You don't think it's you?

Tell him, Steve.

Yeah, fucking zero in the headlights.

Like a blank stare.

No,

if you only know like five people, that's not a good sampling.

You know way more than five people.

Did I talk to a lot about this stuff?

Do you know

15 people we can name right now that you have, that I can tell you without a doubt aren't acting the way you are.

You do not believe that it's...

could be just you you don't think to yourself well why am i i don't believe why am i willing to die in this hill?

Why do I find this?

I don't believe it because, like I said, I didn't create this.

I didn't create this.

You're just a victim's handout.

You're just modified.

I just modified the hand it out so that it looked like it looks like a receipt.

So I could just hand it over to you.

So it wasn't even a receipt when you got you.

You turned it into a receipt?

I added a receipt to it.

Oh, Lord.

Oh my God.

This guy, you can't even fucking talk to him.

Somewhere somebody with cancer is like, yeah, insurance just denied my claim.

Like something legitimate.

This guy's like, they won't take my fucking fake receipts.

This is the fake receipt.

This is one side.

Read what she says, Brian.

It says, I didn't steal anything.

Thanks for asking.

And it's cut to look like a receipt.

It's cut to look like a receipt on Walmart.

Yeah.

And then this is on the back side.

It's a screen.

Oh, wow.

It's a whole, I mean, I'm not kidding.

It's a manifesto.

Yeah, it's a manifesto.

I didn't write it.

I just copied it.

You just let it represent yourself.

Because I agree with it.

These are the same people who like, and look, I wanted to be one of them, but I'm like, look, sometimes you just want to.

Please don't say sovereign citizens.

This is no no no no thank you like the mask shit where there are certain people who are like i shouldn't have to wear a mask even though it's been mandated even though everybody else is doing it and trust me like nobody wanted to wear them but you just did it but then there were those people yes that that came out and it's like this is an infringement on my rights and blah blah blah and all this other shit now get him if you get into some sort of legal trouble Don't think our lawyer is going to fucking waste any time trying to get you off on it because I'm not going to allow him to.

Okay.

I'm going to tell him, you know what?

We warned him.

He's on his own.

Let him represent himself.

Okay.

And I'm going to tell you something.

I don't know if you've looked.

You sound just like you're no, you're not a sexy lawyer that can go in and fucking make all the jurors fucking wet.

You sound just like my

father last night who said, don't call me when you get arrested.

You can't make anybody wet.

No, no, no.

His dad was like, you look like a caveman lawyer from SNL.

No, my father said, don't call me when you get arrested.

Oh, really?

So he believes that you're acting like a, yes, a bit of a tool.

And that's a cop.

An old cop.

An ex-cop.

He's still a cop.

So you think if he was an older cop, he wouldn't be going for this receipt shit either.

But he's like, no.

Once a cop, always a cop.

Yeah, that's true.

He didn't like so.

No, he doesn't know what to say.

You're not going to read that whole thing, are you?

It's too long.

Just put it on.

I mean, it's just...

Yeah, could you send me a screen cap and I'll have Mary Beth put it up on

Instagram.

And that's the part that looks like like the thing

because i fold it so i just hand it to him just keep walking

excuse me sir sir now do you get chased out to the parking lot do you get chased out i had it i had it happen once uh guy over at neptune uh walmart ran after me or and he's like

i'm gonna call the cops he'll be at your house in 15 minutes i'm gonna take your license plate never showed up no yeah because i didn't steal anything

like i said do you see the victory do you hear

the auto and i was so pissed off that night i was so pissed off that night because I had to buy four pairs of pants because they wouldn't unlock the changing room.

And I knew I was going to have to return three of those pairs of pants.

You know, you're fucking extra, extra, extra husky.

You don't need to try on the pants.

You know what?

It was the

reinforced seat.

No, no, no.

It was the jeans I wore for the Sunday Jeff, the Sunday Jeff shuffle video.

So I needed to know if they would fit backwards.

So I had to buy four pairs of jeans.

He's always got an answer.

He's got an answer.

Even when it doesn't make sense.

But it makes sense to me.

It's not an excuse.

It's my reasoning.

But that's what I'm saying.

Don't you ever think to yourself, nobody I know, and it's more than five people

treats these things with the importance I do.

Maybe I shouldn't have to talk about what they're saying and realize that maybe they aren't as important as I think they are and focus more on something a bit more worthy of your attention.

I'm focusing on things that affect me.

So I don't see how, you know,

doing something because someone else, it's affecting someone else, I think is even crazier than that.

I'm just because this is affecting me and this is my feelings, this is how I act.

It's the first thing you said so far that I kind of understand.

Like, I don't want to have to wait in line after I just waited in line so that someone could check my receipt, scrutinize my purchases.

I don't know, you know, who knows what they're going to be thinking about me if it becomes a matter of time.

I mean, somebody just did it to me at Home Depot, and it was literally like all I did, all I did was look at put a fucking pink check on it, and I walked out the door.

Oh, I thought you meant they scrutinized your purchase.

No, it added three seconds to the whole fucking thing.

I was just like, you're like, take it easy, man.

I thought you had like you brought some sort of like killer blade and you're like, you can't handle the zenith, sir.

Not at all.

You've got soft hands.

You want to see your hands.

Send me that receipt real quick.

You had the same issue when we got Jagoff here questioning my manliness.

You had the same issue when we went to either Home Depot or Lowe's and had to buy spray paint.

We had to show them,

they had to come over and manually say that we were over 18.

I only thought it was ridiculous because we both neither one of us look like we're 17.

yes but no

i i shop every day that's how it's what i do i get my food for the day every day before on my way here just like every other person

well no not a lot of people shop every day do you do you shop for food every day i don't shop any day

yeah i shop so every day this is where it affects me in that it yes when q went to the store home depot today but i'm doing it every day so it's just constantly adding more and more time to my day yes and you're so fucking taxed for time that you've got to run back to.

See, it's not that.

And fucking post on Reddit that you pwned the fucking

60-year-old employee at ShopRight who asked for a receipt.

Oh, it's not 60.

No, they got, they had some tall,

big guy for the LPO standing there in his little LPO shirt.

Loss prevention officer.

Oh, my God.

I can't wait.

And then there's...

This is like...

I think you just go to a store and they don't do it, man.

That's what I was doing.

I was going to a store and they didn't do it, but now they're doing it.

And it's just going to keep spreading.

I can't get through to them.

This is what, like, we'll talk about this for hours.

I don't know.

There is no way to do it.

I can't get through to that fucking skull.

It's impenetrable.

Why don't you shop at the shop right up in this area?

They don't have security guards there.

So, the one over here in Hazlitt, a security officer, came up, LPO, came out to me, flashed her badge, told me I wasn't allowed to cover the facial recognition cameras, or they would enter me in the facial recognition system.

And then I would be flagged.

And he never went back.

You never went back after that.

I went to the one to West Long Branch.

No, I went to the one in West Long Branch because

the ladies who run the registers over in Hazlitt are little bitties and they're all in your business.

And meanwhile, the ones over West Long Branch just leave you be.

I don't normally go to grocery stores, but I cannot imagine this is the scene for most people when they go in like, you're fighting with bitties, you're fighting with LPOs.

No, no, no,

I'm not fighting with the biddies.

They're just sitting there judging you.

Oh, so what?

Hey, I just told you, I just talked a lot about getting judged on Reddit for no reason, man.

So, you know, I go to West Long Branch.

I cover the camera, and no one has said a single word to me.

I wish bitties would judge me instead of fucking regular people.

Because the biddies, you know, are opinionated.

Because the little bitties,

I got to wrap this up.

Any final thoughts on this whole situation?

What would you recommend to him?

Therapy.

I don't think therapy will help.

My recommendation to get him was just keep doing what you're doing because it's never going to change.

No.

It's never going to change.

I'm just hoping that there's somebody, somehow, some way that'll get through to him.

Maybe Ming Chen.

The Maverick?

The Maverick?

We got to call the Maverick.

I'm going to see.

You're away next week.

I should be around next week.

Yeah.

I'm going to see if Ming Chen can sit in.

We're going to get the Maverick in.

Let's get the Maverick in.

All right.

Tell him, Steve, Dave.