#567: Little Chippy (abridged)

Speaker 1 Anyway, how was this robot factory you went to?

Speaker 1 Sickening. I don't get it.
I'm adopted.

Speaker 2 You might as well get angry at the tide coming in.

Speaker 1 It's coming in, man. Now that you mentioned that, I was down at the beach earlier.

Speaker 3 Brian Johnson fights the sea.

Speaker 1 Tell him, Steve, Dave. Hello, and welcome to this week's edition of Tell him Steve Dave.
Me, Bri, I'm here. Walt is here.

Speaker 1 Q is here via Zoom.

Speaker 1 Via Zoom, boys.

Speaker 2 I wanted to be there today. Thank you for your patience.

Speaker 1 Yeah, you got a little bit too much going on, Q.

Speaker 2 So, uh, yeah, I leave tomorrow. I'm going to, me and my brothers are taking a brother's trip down to the Florida Keys for about a week.

Speaker 1 Nice.

Speaker 2 And the workers who were supposed to be here yesterday arrived today.

Speaker 2 So

Speaker 2 I got a lot thrown on me. Yeah, Lat was shooting something a little late today.
It's a crazy day over here. But boys.

Speaker 1 Now, you don't include your dad in this boys' trip.

Speaker 2 My dad has zero interest in going

Speaker 2 to the Florida Keys with his sons. Yeah, he doesn't want to do it.

Speaker 1 Because it was suggested recently that me, Eric, Darren, and Edgar take a boys' trip. Who was suggested by who? I think Darren.
Darren suggested.

Speaker 1 He came over to the house the other day and he mentioned it.

Speaker 1 Old man in the sea.

Speaker 1 Old man versus the sea.

Speaker 1 Yeah, like, come on. Me and a gentleman gym stance at the ocean.

Speaker 2 Wow, man.

Speaker 1 Yeah, so that's what I got going on.

Speaker 1 Anyway, how was this robot factory you went to?

Speaker 1 Tell me all about the robots. I want to know.

Speaker 1 Yeah, I went to a robot factory museum. Oh, museum.
It was just an elderly gentleman who

Speaker 1 collects robots. Now, is it like, like Gidham said, is it like B9? Is it number five? It's real robots.
It's a real culture robot. Really? Yeah, but it's the toys and stuff.
Oh, it wasn't.

Speaker 1 It's like a replica of it. Right.
So it's like the merchandise. Does he fix them?

Speaker 1 No, I don't think he even. No.
But yeah, it was out in Pennsylvania. Me and Frank Five and the missus went up there.
But

Speaker 1 it was neat.

Speaker 1 Nothing really. I wouldn't have even mentioned it.

Speaker 1 It wasn't that. Well, you said you were going.

Speaker 1 I was hoping there might have been a little more. There was no

Speaker 1 heat on that bone. Yeah, I was just wondering, yeah, but like what it was like.

Speaker 3 Did they have life-size robots or anything like that?

Speaker 1 No.

Speaker 1 Okay. Just toys.
Damn.

Speaker 2 I have an Omnibot 2000 that I've brought to two different toy places to try and fix, and both of them have been like, I can't fix this. What's that? I was hoping.

Speaker 2 It's a robot that

Speaker 2 came out in the 80s and had a remote control plastic. It's like this fucking big.

Speaker 2 Let me see if I can get a picture for you. And I got it at an estate sale.

Speaker 2 I've been trying to get it fixed.

Speaker 1 If it's a toy issued, this man had it then.

Speaker 1 So he probably had it on display. I don't know if he does any kind kind of

Speaker 3 Jeff used to fix jet engines. I mean, and he is a public.

Speaker 1 Where's he going to get the, I mean, yeah,

Speaker 1 there's a big glare.

Speaker 1 Oh, yeah, yeah, he had that there. He had that? Yeah, he had all three of them.
Yeah.

Speaker 2 Okay, I have it, and I have the remote for it, but there's something inside of it that it won't work. So I need an Omnibot expert to help me fix this fucking thing.
And I can't get anybody to do it.

Speaker 1 Well, if he doesn't fix them,

Speaker 1 maybe he knows somebody. And we talked to the guy at length, and we were the only people in the museum.
Shucks. Get out of here.

Speaker 2 Well, if any ants know how to fix an Omnibot 2000, let me know. But yeah, I got to reach out to this guy and see.

Speaker 1 What did it do when it worked?

Speaker 2 It did everything. Cassette tape.
So it's a cool-looking little robot, right? Just for everybody listening. It's like, I mean, you can look it up.
I'm sure people have looked it up by now.

Speaker 2 And you had a remote control that you could move it to and fro. You know, it was real basic shit, but it had a cassette deck in it.

Speaker 2 And the cassette, which I don't have the cassettes, has commands for the robots. So

Speaker 2 you put the cassette in, you hit play, and it plays a pre-programmed thing for the robots.

Speaker 1 Okay. Oh, and if you get it fixed, you will.

Speaker 2 You could still work the remote.

Speaker 1 Well, it's just, you know, if I have it, why not have it in working order?

Speaker 3 Are you going to make it like a robot butler or something?

Speaker 1 How much are you willing to pay to get this fixed?

Speaker 2 No upper limit, Walt.

Speaker 1 There's no money, it's no opportunity.

Speaker 2 This is the most important thing in my life: get this fucking Omnibot.

Speaker 1 Have you thought about just buying a working Omnibot

Speaker 3 and sending them the broken one?

Speaker 1 Going on eBay and buying one. This one works.

Speaker 2 We thought about that before.

Speaker 1 Or is this some sort of Florence Nightingale thing going on at Q's house where he's saved? Yeah, he's saving cats. He's saving robots.

Speaker 1 Oh.

Speaker 1 Yeah, I saw your little gray cat. I saw your little Instagram Instagram with your gray guy.

Speaker 2 He's cute.

Speaker 2 I've fallen in love, and I mean that in the purest way. Like, I've fallen in love with this fucking kitten.
It's coming in. Yeah.
I'm catching him. I'm getting him to the vet.

Speaker 2 If he doesn't have the FIV, then I got a new cat. That's the end of that.

Speaker 1 This cat, little chips, Walt.

Speaker 2 His mother, Velvet, was living in my yard.

Speaker 2 gave birth to two little gray kittens. The mother abandoned them promptly.
The other kitten, we think, died because I can't. It just disappeared one day and it's not, it hasn't shown up since.

Speaker 2 So the cat that lives in my yard, mama, and the two kittens kind of adopted this one, but he's definitely like the red-headed stepchild. You know what I mean? Like the mother, you know what I mean?

Speaker 1 Aren't we all lives with the mother? Everybody in TSD town is the red-headed stepchild. It does feel that way, right? Ryan.

Speaker 1 Everybody listening to TSD is a red-headed stepchild.

Speaker 1 Yeah, this cat

Speaker 1 are like, hey, why are we the bar for the unwanted?

Speaker 2 Yeah, this cat's definitely an ant. It was unwanted by its mother.
Its adoptive mother doesn't really care for it too much. But it's doing, you know,

Speaker 2 it's impressive to me because when I go out, he'll run out of the woods to meet me. And he's only like two, three months old.
So I'm kind of like, now I pet him. Now I can pick him up.

Speaker 2 He's seducing me. I'm getting the full-on

Speaker 2 cat seduction.

Speaker 1 That's how they do it.

Speaker 1 Batting his eyelashes, his cat lashes, whipping that tail around.

Speaker 3 Good.

Speaker 1 little crook at the end.

Speaker 2 In my house, in the past two months, I've had about five different kittens come through here.

Speaker 2 And I've not adopted any of them, but there's something about little chips that I worry about him at night. He's a scrapper.
Like, I'm like, what if he goes in the street

Speaker 2 and he gets hit by a car? What if he gets like a hawk gets him or something like that? Because I'll do that here.

Speaker 2 So it's to the point where it's like, I am just worried about this cat when I'm not around. I've just fallen in love with him.

Speaker 2 So I got to catch him and get him to the vet and make sure I can get him inside.

Speaker 1 Much like a lot of people in TSD town, your heart is so fat and so huge. That's a compliment.
Fat heart.

Speaker 1 Why fat? Why fat?

Speaker 1 That's not what my doctor said.

Speaker 1 But

Speaker 1 speaking of fat hearts, like this weekend, I mean, like, much like you, like, I went on, I feel

Speaker 1 that pity and that

Speaker 1 feeling of guilt when I, me and Frank, went on this flea market,

Speaker 1 what's it crawl? Almost like a bar crawl. Went to a couple of flea markets and antique stores.
And every single one we go in, it is impossible to walk out without buying something out of pity.

Speaker 1 Because you're the only ones there. Because we're the only ones there, and the people behind the counter are just, it's just

Speaker 1 the conversations that they

Speaker 1 try to start up. It's just so sad.
And it's impossible to walk out of there and not feel like a fuck the biggest piece of shit.

Speaker 3 Here come two suckers.

Speaker 1 Turn on the waterworks.

Speaker 1 Walt and Frank have matching chip and delt chairs now.

Speaker 1 So to avoid this, because we're going broke. Me and Frank, like we're buying shit that we don't even want.

Speaker 3 You fill bottles of Aftershade.

Speaker 1 I told him.

Speaker 2 You want an Omnibot 2000?

Speaker 1 We bought stuff from the museum that we didn't want. We brought stuff from every flea market stand that some old-timer

Speaker 1 tried to get a conversation going. So I had to sit him down

Speaker 1 and implement a new way of communicating when we are in the flea markets or a place where people are selling garbage.

Speaker 1 Like I told him, it's like, if you see something interesting that you want to show me,

Speaker 1 don't say, hey, look at this, because as soon as you do that, that counts on you. Oh, you want that? You know what that is? Ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba.
I can give it to you for 10.

Speaker 1 It goes for 50 on eBay. Oh, you know what? For today, five.
I said, just say, hey, if it's up high,

Speaker 1 if it's over your head and you want me to see it, just get, and if it's to the left or right, say, hey, oh man, I slept on my neck wrong, the left side of my neck.

Speaker 1 And I'll look and I'll be like, and if I'm interested, I'll just say to you, I'll be like,

Speaker 1 oh, I think I got just a ticket for that stiff neck. If I'm not interested, I'll say, yeah, I really can't help you with that stiff neck.

Speaker 1 If it's down low, it's your toe that hurts.

Speaker 1 And then I'll look down low. And if it's in the middle of the area, just say your stomach hurts.
My cock is killing me.

Speaker 1 I got just a ticket for that store cock.

Speaker 3 So you don't look like suckers now. You look like an antique and gay couple.

Speaker 1 So like we went over it in the

Speaker 1 first hours

Speaker 1 because he keeps fucking, he doesn't know how to do it right.

Speaker 2 Did you put it into practice?

Speaker 1 Did it work? It we put it into practice, and it still went fucking shitty. He wound up buying a Lindsey Wagner Bionic Woman 8x10 he didn't want because he just couldn't pull it off properly.

Speaker 1 Autographed? It was autographed, but we don't even know if it was a real autographed.

Speaker 3 You've met Lindsay, but you met Lindsey Wagner.

Speaker 1 I know. I like how these guys are buying shit they don't want, and when the vendors get home, they're like, Oh my god, I made $10 today.
It was totally worth it.

Speaker 1 You know what, though?

Speaker 1 Rather zero than $10. At least I walk out of there.
I can't worry about the rest of you fucking soulless, heartless fuckers walking in there.

Speaker 1 But I can't walk out of there and not feel horrible that this old-timer is selling shit that nobody wants. And just, I just, I can't do it.

Speaker 2 Can I make a suggestion? Because I thought of something while you were giving those. What if you were a little less opaque?

Speaker 2 You know, you were a little bit more like, instead of being being like, my toe hurts, what if he pointed at the object and be like, oh, I bought one of those last week.

Speaker 2 So now no sale needed, but he's pointing directly at it. And then you guys could pick it up and be like, is it better than the one he has?

Speaker 1 We'll take it. So you don't like the convoluted injury routine?

Speaker 2 Or you could be like, or he could be like, oh, this is mine's in better condition, which is code for. Put it down, move on.

Speaker 1 Don't have a question.

Speaker 1 That's pretty good. You say, yeah, if you're like, this one's in pretty good condition, then you can make the purchase.

Speaker 2 No codes, a body.

Speaker 1 But then it opens the door to, okay,

Speaker 1 let's say it was the Lindsey Wagner 8x10 autograph, just for an example.

Speaker 1 If he says, oh, mine's in better condition, but then it opens the door for him being like, oh, okay, but I also have Lindsey Wagner paper dolls or Lindsey Wagner color forms.

Speaker 1 Like, if you just say, hey, my toe hurts,

Speaker 1 unless he's got like fucking corn medication. I'm sorry.
How aggressive are these vendors? Oh, they're aggressive.

Speaker 1 You can't just leave?

Speaker 1 Oh, it's horrible. No, no, no.

Speaker 1 I got Lindsey Wagner paper toes. He's like, shit.

Speaker 1 I'm obligated. It's like a 90-year-old dude, man, who's just

Speaker 1 like waiting at the clock, man.

Speaker 1 But you said many times that you want that to be you in your retirement years. But the stuff I'll be selling is

Speaker 1 primo shit. Oh, yeah.

Speaker 1 And no one's going to feel sorry for me.

Speaker 1 You're going to be offloading all this shit you bought from these guys. Yeah.

Speaker 1 Brian

Speaker 1 wants to buy a Lindsey Wagner photo.

Speaker 1 Yeah, but that's something that we've had to implement because he's kind of like, he gets excitable and then he's like, oh, my God, look at that. And as soon as he does that,

Speaker 1 they pounce on you, man. They know they got a fish on the other line.
Pigeon, man. Got a pigeon.

Speaker 3 Do you think if I joined you, I could help Frank out?

Speaker 1 In what way? Well, how are you going to help him?

Speaker 3 As

Speaker 3 I'm a pretty good flea marketer.

Speaker 1 Oh, yeah. I've never seen you actually in

Speaker 1 flea market mode, though. Do you feel any like you walk into a flea market, you go to a stand, you're like, I don't have anything of interest here.
Guy's 90. Do you just walk? You walk away, right?

Speaker 1 You don't buy shit. He has no.

Speaker 1 I don't know if he's the barometer of

Speaker 1 human compassion that we want to

Speaker 1 weigh everything on. I'm starting to feel more relatable to Giddam, like how

Speaker 1 we didn't start getting choked up with Barry and his wife and Beth, and now we don't care about elderly flea marketers.

Speaker 3 I have some rules when I flea market. Like, if I know something's valuable and

Speaker 3 I ask them to offer a price,

Speaker 3 and I will just accept the price.

Speaker 1 How is that a rule? It's what a negotiator.

Speaker 2 It sounds like just buying something.

Speaker 3 No, no, if it's something that if.

Speaker 1 If I have a rule when I go into shop, right?

Speaker 1 No, no, no. I pay what they're asking for it.
No, no, if I know it's.

Speaker 2 They ask, how much is this gorilla pasta?

Speaker 3 If I know it's worth more than what they're selling.

Speaker 1 You won't tell them.

Speaker 3 I won't tell them, but I also won't haggle with them.

Speaker 3 I'll give them exactly what they're asking for.

Speaker 1 Just in case they start looking it up.

Speaker 3 No, it's just I just I feel better doing that. Like I, you know, they probably don't know what they have.
They should, but they don't. So I'm just going to give them what they think it's worth.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 1 We really took the ride not to do flea markets so much. I didn't mention this last week because I thought I didn't want to take on all the ridicule and

Speaker 1 all the

Speaker 1 pot shots.

Speaker 1 Save it for this week.

Speaker 1 Here we go, though.

Speaker 1 Our real

Speaker 1 agenda was

Speaker 1 we were able to stay at a hotel that was two seconds away from a Cece's pizza.

Speaker 1 We went on Saturday afternoon, and I have never stuffed myself so much that I was

Speaker 1 until nine o'clock on Saturday night was before I felt better because I just ate too much pizza and soda.

Speaker 1 You know how I believe it might have been the very first episode you were like, if I ever needed to hide a body, you would be the guy that I'd go to. I think it's Frank now.

Speaker 1 There's nothing you can say this motherfucker won't do. There's nothing.

Speaker 1 I'm still playing shuffleboard wrong. I'm sorry.

Speaker 1 No, don't feel bad. If I come across a corpse, I'm not calling Frank.
I'm calling Brian Johnson. Still,

Speaker 1 you

Speaker 1 You haven't been supplanted in that area. I was about to go off again.

Speaker 1 We went to a CCs in Pennsylvania, and it was fucking fabulous. So fabulous that

Speaker 1 I abused myself. How did it compare to

Speaker 1 the other one? Much better. It was like a much quieter, calmer CC's.

Speaker 3 Same prison employees like that.

Speaker 1 Oh, yeah,

Speaker 1 it was.

Speaker 1 It was a magic.

Speaker 1 So

Speaker 2 what are the chances? You know, I don't like to get too personal in that way, but like, is anybody getting late on these weekend trips?

Speaker 1 Just after we engorge ourselves on CC. Oh, yeah, so sick.

Speaker 1 Matter of fact, we had to go back to the hotel and everybody took a nap.

Speaker 1 She's billowing.

Speaker 1 Yeah, there was no hanky-panky going on. I don't know about his room.
I don't want to, I'm just assuming.

Speaker 1 I don't want to assume because, you know, that makes an ass out of me and Frank then. But if I had to bet, seeing the condition he is when he walked in, yeah, I don't know if he could perform.

Speaker 3 What if there was onion on that pizza that he didn't know about?

Speaker 1 Yeah,

Speaker 1 we got a little since there was no competition in the restaurant, like there was no like,

Speaker 1 if we weren't fighting for slices,

Speaker 1 we really like went overboard and OD'd on the on the pizza. And this is everyone, not just you.
Well, me and Frank.

Speaker 1 The missus ate, but not, but they weren't like slobs and going, like, oh my God, this is amazing.

Speaker 1 Strapping on a feed bag full of pizza.

Speaker 1 I've only eaten the pizza. You know, Frank's getting wings.

Speaker 2 He's getting synagogues.

Speaker 1 He's, you know, he's going fucking full.

Speaker 1 I don't know, what'd you call it? You know, full glutton. Full glutton.

Speaker 1 Yeah. Full glutton.

Speaker 3 Unhinging his jaw.

Speaker 1 So he and I were both out of commission. If the ladies were expecting a special something on Saturday night, they were going to have to wait till Tuesday.

Speaker 1 It's like when a snake eats a whole goat.

Speaker 1 Unless you want to hire someone to give me an enema,

Speaker 1 you're going to have to wait a couple days.

Speaker 1 Got a stomach pump.

Speaker 3 I want to take him to the buffet now.

Speaker 1 I don't know if he likes Asian food, though.

Speaker 3 They have clams and stuff, which I think he and sushi.

Speaker 1 Oh, yeah, didn't he eat like 130 clams one day? Oh,

Speaker 1 I think he's

Speaker 1 the Kobayashi of fucking TSD town. You know, slim, you know, a spelt figure.
Defies logic how the man can eat as much as he does and still have that hourglass figure. You're saying he's not slim.

Speaker 3 Was he at the burger competition that I was at?

Speaker 1 Frank? Yeah. No, I thought Jimmy was.

Speaker 3 Wasn't Frank there as well? No.

Speaker 1 It was me, you, you, Jimmy the hair guy, Sage.

Speaker 1 Oh, a Clayton Diner? Yeah. And then Frank.
Oh, yeah, but he didn't like the burger. That's why.
It was too drunk. He didn't like the burger.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 I don't care how much Frank ate. There was no way.

Speaker 1 There's no way. Speaking of Patreon, sign up to patreon.com/slash tellemsteve.
See what we're talking about. Yeah, see what we're talking about.
There is a lot of fun stuff.

Speaker 1 We recorded an episode last week with Q that was really fun.

Speaker 1 On the $5 level, it's going to be, I imagine, too.

Speaker 2 I can't wait for people to hear that. When is that coming up?

Speaker 1 Do you want me to put it up?

Speaker 1 not this Tuesday, but the following Tuesday? So what's the next time? The sooner the better.

Speaker 3 Two Tuesdays from now. Yeah.

Speaker 1 Oh, the date?

Speaker 1 You got to get them. Yeah.
Yeah, that's the 30th. No, sorry, the 29th.
It's 29th. We'll drop it on the 29th.

Speaker 2 Oh, dude. 29th.

Speaker 1 Sign up on the 29th. It is an extremely fun episode.
Did you sign up on the 29th? Or the 28th? You're going to get charged again on the 1st, though. Yes.
It's not our fault. Sign up on the 29th.

Speaker 2 Sign up today.

Speaker 1 There's so much shit on there. There's so much stuff.
Dude, it's the next episode is a TSD. Yep.

Speaker 2 I was driving home from that episode being like, I cannot wait for Belkin people to hear it because they're going to fucking die laughing.

Speaker 1 Dude, throughout the week, high-energy mimic dancing kept

Speaker 1 reoccurring to me, and I was fucking laughing. I would just start laughing.

Speaker 2 Oh, my God. I love this show.
All right.

Speaker 1 Another thing, if I can just just keep talking about myself this entire episode. Please.

Speaker 1 How's your

Speaker 1 started working out a little bit again, started eating right.

Speaker 1 I'm shooting for, we got two events coming up. Well, not you, but me and Q, we got the cruise in February.
That's my long-term goal, or January, I think.

Speaker 1 And then Q and I are going on a little boys' trip in the next couple months. Oh, yeah, we're too Cece's.
With Jiggy.

Speaker 1 Will there be a Cece's?

Speaker 2 We're going with our boy Jiggy.

Speaker 1 Yeah, Jiggy's coming. And we're going to return to our old stomping grounds.
Oh, QS. Q West for a few days.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 That's a place that you find yourself returning to again and again. You love it there.

Speaker 2 At this point,

Speaker 2 I go like twice a year now.

Speaker 1 You should be the

Speaker 1 spokesman? The spokesman of the

Speaker 1 tourism. Like Ming for kiss of me.
Yeah. Like, why couldn't it be Q? And you know, people would go if they saw Q there.

Speaker 3 Put them on the billboards. Put them on buses.
Yeah.

Speaker 2 Taxi cabs. People going down there.

Speaker 1 It's your little secret, you think?

Speaker 2 It's not a secret. Well, they told me Key West has exploded in the past three years.
It used to be kind of like a,

Speaker 2 not a secret, but like it wasn't like a major destination. Pandemic changed all that because it was like a place Florida never closed down.
There were direct flights. You know, it's tropical.

Speaker 2 So it apparently just fucking exploded in the past couple of years with people.

Speaker 1 Think of this ad campaign for the tourism

Speaker 1 side of Key West. They renamed the town for a month Q West.

Speaker 1 And you get a key to the city

Speaker 1 and you go down there and you do spots, you do ad campaigns, social media, Q West. Wait, no, I got it.

Speaker 1 I got it. You're on the side of a bus and you're like facing out towards us.
There's a woman in a bikini, a thong bikini, facing the other way. So she's facing away from us.

Speaker 1 And you're grabbing her ass and it just says QA, Key West.

Speaker 1 That's good. I like that one.
Or maybe

Speaker 3 Q with like an alligator pulling down his.

Speaker 1 Oh, yeah, like a little copper toned. Yeah,

Speaker 1 pulling down.

Speaker 1 Yeah, so many ideas.

Speaker 2 Yeah, but I'm an outsider down there.

Speaker 1 Well, the manager, when we go down, we'll directly approach the Chamber of Commerce.

Speaker 1 I demand the key to the city.

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Speaker 1 All right. All right, all right, all right.

Speaker 3 Okay. How are the guitar lessons going?

Speaker 1 Guitar lessons are going pretty well. In fact, it's inspired me to pick up the electric guitar as well.
Oh.

Speaker 1 I mean, I would say most of that inspiration came from being ridiculed by Q and Walt last week. So I can play him a couple of rockin' tunes at some point.

Speaker 1 But no, I like it.

Speaker 1 It's very like when I practice, I practice an hour a day. That's all I think about.
I'm not thinking about any other bullshit.

Speaker 3 That's what I'm thinking. Letting the stress go out on the strings.

Speaker 1 Yeah, yeah. And I'm just fucking.
That's probably why I do need to play some like thrash metal and shit to get all that fucking high-energy anger out, right? Oh, yeah. Yeah.

Speaker 1 Well, I would imagine playing a thrash song is a bit more strenuous than playing like, you know, Mozart, right? Yeah.

Speaker 1 It's the difference between running around on the stage and me sitting in a chair with

Speaker 1 my foot up on this little elevated telf.

Speaker 1 I'm not losing any weight by playing classical guitar. I say that much.

Speaker 1 Yeah, it's going pretty decently. But your fingers are are working.
I enjoy it. Yeah.
My fingers are getting a little more.

Speaker 2 I can't wait to hear you play.

Speaker 1 Oh, you know what? I want to ask you guys, too. This is for all three of you guys.
So we all know that Maui is basically burned to the ground, right? Yes.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 1 So I guess one part of the island where a lot of the locals live is where everything got torched.

Speaker 1 But there's another part of the island where there's a lot of resorts and vacationers and stuff like that. Now, I guess

Speaker 1 the island of Maui has asked the vacationers to leave, you know,

Speaker 1 because of the fires and shit. But some people have decided to stay, Paris Hilton being one of them.
She was taking some shit online because

Speaker 1 she decided to stay and go to the beach with her kid and her husband or whatever. So

Speaker 1 I'm wondering, if that happens to you, any of you, do you leave? Or do you stay? If you're

Speaker 1 the benefits of leaving, I think it opens up a room for somebody who doesn't have a home anymore, right? Could be, yeah. Could be that.

Speaker 1 Or just the resources that are coming onto the island are now like diminished tremendously, right? Or available, I'm sorry, on the island. So they have to bring in all new shit for people.

Speaker 1 Water, I'm sure, food, you know, housing. They got to figure out housing for everybody.
So it's like, are you able to continue?

Speaker 1 Right. And nobody likes you anyway.

Speaker 1 You leave. No,

Speaker 2 here's the thing, though. If you saved up to go to Hawaii for fucking three years and this is like, you're going to propose on the beach or whatever,

Speaker 2 I might have a tough time being like, Jesus Christ, I'm flushing all this money down the drain. If you're Paris Hilton, who I assume has millions, I'm like, all right, what am I going to do?

Speaker 2 We got to take the L on this one and head home.

Speaker 1 Yeah. I think.

Speaker 1 You can't answer that.

Speaker 1 It's

Speaker 1 a bad look.

Speaker 1 To be walking around enjoying that beach. Well, how could you enjoy yourself?

Speaker 1 Exactly. That's what I mean.
It's like, okay, you're getting down on one knee to propose. And then if someone snaps a photo of this and the backdrop is a charred wasteland yeah like a pompe

Speaker 3 but i feel the average blue collar like guy who's saving up poor girl saving up to go to hawaii for like years i don't know man that's a lot to add to like it's bad luck but man well you're still i mean have some compassion but are are they doing like uh crete and greece just had a huge uh wildfire problem and they offered anyone who was displaced because of the fire a free vacation next summer to replace

Speaker 3 to replace the trip that they lost. So are they doing something like that? Like, hey, you know, yeah, we want you to leave.
Well, you can come back and finish the rest of your vacation next year.

Speaker 1 Well, I guess if you also, if you have trip insurance, you're covered, right? If you have trip insurance. Sure.
Yeah. Some people.
Well, I guess

Speaker 2 most of the time. I guess at the end of the day, if Hawaii is asking you to leave, I guess you should just be a good guest and leave.

Speaker 1 But can you imagine arriving on day one? Like I said, like you say for three years and it's a week. You arrive on day one.
They're like, get the fuck out of here.

Speaker 1 Like if it's like the fourth or fifth day, you're kind of like, all right, well, fucking, this really sucks.

Speaker 1 Personally, I would leave and then I would come home and bitch about it and not stop on the podcast.

Speaker 1 But in terms of like, I mean, just the smoke, like, how is it enjoyable with all that fucking smoke and the smell? And

Speaker 1 knowing that people are like burned up, like right across the room. The tragedy that is going on all around you makes it hard to fucking

Speaker 1 have a good time, right?

Speaker 2 There's tragedy going on everywhere at all times, Walter.

Speaker 1 You know, right as we're recording this.

Speaker 1 If I can see it, it's a much more difficult thing.

Speaker 3 Is it an eyeshot? I'm not familiar with how large Maui is and how much is affected by it.

Speaker 1 We aren't either.

Speaker 1 But you know

Speaker 1 that like two minutes down the road is a hell on earth. Yeah, it's hard then to be like frolic.
Okay, if it's on the beach.

Speaker 3 What is your time limit for I can still frolic?

Speaker 1 Out of respect for the citizens and the people who are asking in the hotel

Speaker 1 who needs this now, this building for much worthier causes than your fucking vacation, you leave, I think.

Speaker 1 Or you don't leave, and you know, then you have a hard, you maybe

Speaker 1 have a karma that comes with that. I wouldn't want to.

Speaker 3 You're the kind of person who doesn't buy from the flea market guy, you know, despite how.

Speaker 1 Oh, yeah,

Speaker 1 all you people who walk out on that elderly flea marketer, you'll you'll have your

Speaker 1 vacation my

Speaker 1 day uh when you when you walk uh when somebody asked you oh you couldn't spare five dollars for that no for that bottle cap for that garbage on the other one for that bottle for that for that tin of bottle caps you couldn't spare five dollars oh bottle caps i i really love okay now you now you want to enjoy the you want to enjoy eternity of tranquility and peace

Speaker 1 you know you're going to look at this go check the other staircase i knew this i knew this is what it was coming to. Walt's like, if I buy this bottle cap, I'm not much closer to heaven.

Speaker 2 Commerce into heaven.

Speaker 1 I don't know, man. If God isn't looking over the people at Maui, I don't think he's looking over this old cocksucker in your bottle cap purchase.

Speaker 1 You don't think that some people have bought their way in?

Speaker 1 Everybody. Look, I was thinking of Jimmy the hair guy the other day.
Like, the mob, he bought his way in.

Speaker 1 He didn't pay dues. So you might be able to buy your way into heaven.

Speaker 1 I don't know.

Speaker 1 Nope. Go cute.

Speaker 2 Don't they say it's easier for a rich man to go through the eye of a needle than to get into heaven?

Speaker 3 Easier to get a camel through the eye of a needle than it is for a rich man to get into heaven.

Speaker 2 So, you know, the good book would suggest that you can't buy your way into heaven.

Speaker 1 Oh, I didn't mean with cash. You meant with good karma.

Speaker 1 Good deeds.

Speaker 1 Oh, well, there's some cash involved, but not all cash.

Speaker 1 He really, yeah, you are buying your way, and you're like, if I give this guy money, I'll get something in return, sure.

Speaker 1 But God's looking down, he's going to see that money going to the old man rather than staying in my pocket, and therefore he's going to look more favorably upon me.

Speaker 1 It's an act of kindness.

Speaker 2 But he's got his eyes on everything. He's going to be looking at the fucking tab at that fucking pizza place and being like, well, that probably could have fed 30 other people.

Speaker 1 It's like a Schindler's List situation. Well, it's like $5 worth of pizza could have saved how many homeless people.

Speaker 3 Speaking of rich people, did you hear about the controversy over Oprah and Maui?

Speaker 1 Oprah and Maui, no.

Speaker 3 She owns a large amount of property there.

Speaker 3 It's caused some problem on the locals, but she had to have her and a camera crew rejected from the centers where they're helping people who are displaced by the fires. Right.

Speaker 3 Because she wanted to go in and film herself giving them things.

Speaker 1 Oh, so not talking to them, just giving them shit. Yeah.

Speaker 1 Doesn't Oprah have enough money and love sent her way

Speaker 2 that like she needs what the fuck like these insatiable well I isn't wouldn't her point be like because I know people will watch when I do it so it might inspire other people to help out it's about like raising awareness rather than getting

Speaker 3 is it not like grief porn like you know

Speaker 3 or suffering porn like you know showing

Speaker 3 like going into this you know these centers where people are like probably sleeping on cots and such and you're just giving them you know trivial things

Speaker 3 and recording it.

Speaker 1 I don't know, yeah. It's trivial about

Speaker 1 clothes, water, necessities.

Speaker 3 Well, no, what I'm saying is that, you know, you could just, you know,

Speaker 3 make a public appearance of you giving a large check or something that would buy those items that would be needed and distributed rather than

Speaker 3 doing it for

Speaker 1 ICQ's point of view.

Speaker 3 I do as well. I understand advertising it, but to go in when people are at their lowest.

Speaker 1 They're at their lowest.

Speaker 1 Her fans seeing her do it maybe will motivate them to be like, you know, I'm going to send some donation to Maui, too.

Speaker 3 I mean, could she not just, you know, be on camera and do it rather than going to these centers? Of course.

Speaker 1 I'm surprised she didn't get the pass, though. It's Oprah, so you would think anybody would be like, oh, yes, that was a bit of a double case.

Speaker 3 Some did, some rejected her. Right.
Yeah. Or the camera crews, at least.

Speaker 1 Maui.

Speaker 2 Maui, man. I feel bad for him.
That sounds like a rough. You got to even know where to fucking run.

Speaker 2 You know, it's like you go into the water.

Speaker 1 No, yeah.

Speaker 1 People are like jumping in the water and like they had to, like going in boats and shit, that kind of stuff. Yeah.

Speaker 2 That's rough, man.

Speaker 2 I feel for him.

Speaker 1 So you're going away. I'm going away as well next week.
So I don't know if we'll be around, right? Well, if we could do it early in the week, we can do it because you leave Wednesday, right?

Speaker 1 I believe you said early on Thursday you leave. So if we could do it early in the week, we can get one more in.

Speaker 2 Well, I get back Wednesday.

Speaker 1 So guess what, everyone? No, tell them Steve Dave next week.

Speaker 1 Could do a Space Monkey.

Speaker 3 Start sending those emails.

Speaker 1 Yeah. Well, I might be able to, we'll talk about it offline, but I might be able to land and just jump right into an episode.

Speaker 2 We'll see. Okay.
I don't want to. Yeah,

Speaker 2 I don't like to do it.

Speaker 1 There'll be something for you. A few good people next week.
We'll figure it out. Don't worry.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 I know people got upset because we

Speaker 1 took a break, a summer break of a week and a half. People got mad.
But

Speaker 1 that's it. No, not next week.
Did I do? I can't remember. Did we talk about Lizzo fat news?

Speaker 1 Got some fat news

Speaker 1 who is you know the the well-known singer, uh, body-positive, morbidly obese woman who has morbidly obese dancers on stage with her. It's a whole fat positive type thing.

Speaker 1 Morbidly obese Lizzo says she can

Speaker 1 fat-shamed her dancers and suggests, okay, this is Megan Kelly saying this, suggested that they assume the risk of uncomfortable sexual scenarios by working for a degenerate.

Speaker 1 Now, that's a pretty weird stance.

Speaker 1 This is Megan Kelly. She's like a Fox News person.

Speaker 1 Okay. Like real conservative and shit.

Speaker 3 There's a lawsuit by some of her ex-dancers.

Speaker 1 She's agreeing with Lizzo. There's a lawsuit by some of her ex-dancers that she was fat shaming them, telling them that they had to lose weight.

Speaker 1 And so for that part, I'm like, look, you can, these women, I'm surprised they can dance as fat as they were. Like I watched part of her documentary, like Lizzo had this reality show where she was.

Speaker 1 There was like a

Speaker 1 tryout session for backup dancers. And then, you know, an Elimination Show, reality bullshit.

Speaker 1 And

Speaker 1 I'm looking at these women, and with that point, I'm like, if she's telling them you can't get any fatter,

Speaker 1 at a certain point, you can't even get out of a chair when you're that heavy. So I don't understand why that's a problem.
That she's like, look, you have to maintain a certain level of weight.

Speaker 2 So she wants them fatter?

Speaker 1 No, they're getting fatter. The dancers, Elizo, who's fat and has always promoted fatness.
Yes, is saying, look, now you're getting too fat.

Speaker 1 You're not going to be able to dance much more, much longer if you keep getting this fat.

Speaker 2 Hey, man, I don't know what to fuck to tell you, Lizzo. You're the one that opened that barn door.
You got to fucking deal with it. You're the one telling everybody to just keep eating, so go over it.

Speaker 1 Yeah. Yeah.

Speaker 2 And also, she's actually, the bigger the dancers are, the more I want to see it.

Speaker 1 Right. Like, remember that guy in the Guinness Book of World Records, you had to be buried in like a fucking piano box or something with those overalls on, that big fat guy? Yeah.

Speaker 1 Oh, the guy. No, you're talking to the guys who rode the bikes.
Those are the twins, yeah. Yeah, okay.
Yeah, this was just a real fat, super fat dude in overalls.

Speaker 1 You know, like, I don't know that that guy. Like, I would like to see that guy dancing, see what he got.
I would watch him dance.

Speaker 2 So people are saying Liz, oh, all right, and I'm getting my arms around this.

Speaker 2 People are saying Liz was a hypocrite because she's all about the big gals, and she's saying, well, well, well, there's such a thing as too big.

Speaker 1 Right.

Speaker 1 Now there's a second part to the story, though. Oh, okay.
Right.

Speaker 1 It gets even deeper.

Speaker 1 She's also being sued by three of her former backup dancers who accuse the singer of sexual harassment and creating a hostile work environment.

Speaker 1 It was said that

Speaker 1 they were in Amsterdam, and I guess they were at a strip club. She pressured

Speaker 1 one of the dancers to touch a nude performer in the strip club.

Speaker 1 And also they said that like the girls were putting bananas somewhere, you know,

Speaker 1 where they fit.

Speaker 1 And

Speaker 1 Lizzo made one of them eat the banana afterwards. Oh, my God.

Speaker 1 Now, there's some doubts that this shit's true. It's just a couple of girls trying to

Speaker 1 make a few bucks off of Lizo. Oh, no, no, no, no.

Speaker 2 They said it. It's true.

Speaker 3 Except that on Lizzo's either Instagram or Twitter feed, she referenced. being in Amsterdam and used a banana emoji.

Speaker 1 Oh, yeah. Yeah.

Speaker 2 Oh, my god.

Speaker 1 It's like, look,

Speaker 1 they're a fucking band on the road, man.

Speaker 2 Like, this is what people used to fucking join bands for to go to strip clubs and eat the fucking bananas.

Speaker 1 And now, now you can't, in Amsterdam of all places, now you can't.

Speaker 2 This is like, it's don't, anybody that wants to get into the entertainment business, just

Speaker 1 well, it says here, the former dancers also claim she invited cast members to eat bananas from nude performers' vaginas.

Speaker 2 You can't do that shit.

Speaker 1 Yeah, I know, but Lizzo's a role model, though, right?

Speaker 1 Isn't that what everybody says?

Speaker 2 I don't know, man.

Speaker 2 Anybody who believes the hype about anybody deserves what they get. I don't know, man.
I don't really have an opinion on this because I'm finding it very hard to care at all about it.

Speaker 2 I don't know why today I don't care, but I just like

Speaker 1 Lizzo, bro. You don't care?

Speaker 2 I know, and I and I wish the best for Lizzo, but like, you know, and her dancers and everybody, but it's like, I don't have the answers, man.

Speaker 1 I don't have them. I don't think that's a little bit.
I can't stop thinking of little chippy outside alone right now.

Speaker 2 Fucking think about Lizzo. That poor little cat.

Speaker 1 Yeah. I know.
You got bigger fish to fry.

Speaker 1 Bigger than Lizzo, I reckon. In a sense.

Speaker 2 Yeah, I don't know, man. I don't know what she's...

Speaker 2 I guess she's saying there's such a thing as too fat for a performer, which like sounds like common sense when you say it, but who the fuck knows in today's world?

Speaker 1 But also the answer of like, hey, if you work for a degenerate, you should expect to be exposed to degenerate type shit and debauchery.

Speaker 2 I mean, how does anybody care about this? Who is upset about this? Why does anyone

Speaker 1 do any of this? Yeah, I don't know that anyone else. All the people doing the lawsuit are in the city.
The people in the lawsuit are pretty upset, I guess.

Speaker 1 Yeah, but everybody else, I mean, I think most people,

Speaker 1 I think people for the most part are like, whatever with Lizzo. And that it's kind of, I think it's funny that she's saying you're too fat.

Speaker 1 It's pretty funny that she's so off-brand. Yeah, it's so off-brand for her to be like, yo, man, put down the fucking cupcakes.
We got a dance to do.

Speaker 3 Well, do as I say, don't do as I do.

Speaker 1 Yeah. Yeah.

Speaker 1 Because I'll be eating these cupcakes. You'll fucking dance me a couple steps.

Speaker 2 You eat this banana that came out of that stripper.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 1 Wild. Oh, let me say it.
No, I'm just going to say

Speaker 1 we're not an hour. I don't know.
You look like you don't want to talk about Lizzo.

Speaker 1 I really don't know. I don't follow this stuff.

Speaker 1 That's why it's fat news. Yeah.

Speaker 1 Now you got it. Now you can go home.
You can talk to the wife and kids about it. Hey, did you hear about Lizzo? And the bananas?

Speaker 3 If he keeps seeing CCs, he's going to be on fat news.

Speaker 1 I'm going to have to give these CC's a try. The closest one is Pennsylvania.

Speaker 1 You know what?

Speaker 1 I don't know if it would be.

Speaker 3 He doesn't want the increase in business there.

Speaker 1 It's like me with QS.

Speaker 1 Yeah, it's like Q and Q Q West. He's trying to keep it.

Speaker 1 You're right.

Speaker 1 It's my little secret.

Speaker 1 I don't think it's,

Speaker 1 I don't think most people would find it as delicious as I do. It's a combination of Chuck E.
Cheese pizza with a very fluffy crust.

Speaker 3 And why do you love Chuck E. Cheese Pizza?

Speaker 1 Because it's almost like you can eat it

Speaker 1 and not even, it's almost like eating air in Chuck E. Cheese Pizza.
You don't feel it.

Speaker 1 Although this time I felt felt it, though. I had too much.
I put that theory to the test. I can eat as much Chuck E.
Cheese pizza as possible.

Speaker 1 It's like air.

Speaker 1 You're like Icarus getting too close to the sun.

Speaker 3 You go in CCs and you get recognized.

Speaker 3 And they're like, hey, next time you come in, can you bring us like a signed 8x10 for the wall

Speaker 1 of who

Speaker 1 of Lindsay Wechner?

Speaker 1 No, I got the ticket.

Speaker 1 That's what I say. I got just a ticket.
That's what I'm interested in. And now you've got a flea.

Speaker 1 I got just a ticket for that toe problem

Speaker 1 or that stomach ache problem.

Speaker 3 Oh, no, it's that because it's up on the wall.

Speaker 1 Do you give them 8x10 of me? Yeah.

Speaker 1 As the Baron, the ones we saw on eBay?

Speaker 1 Your choice. Your choice.
Okay. Absolutely.
Okay. Because

Speaker 3 it blows my mind. They're like, yeah, if we think if we have a hall of fame.

Speaker 1 Frankie Valley. Yeah.

Speaker 1 Frank Sinatra, all these, have you ever owned a pizza parlor user Frank Sinatra Frank Valley Frank five

Speaker 1 when you go into any pizza parlour you usually see the same eight by tens of the same kind of era and of stars and it's usually like it's like oh my god it's Danny Aiello

Speaker 1 Joe Pisco look at that

Speaker 1 I don't know

Speaker 1 There's a diner near us, like that diner near Target. They have those kind of pictures up, and I really want to get an 8x10 of myself and sneak it onto the wall and see if anyone notices.

Speaker 1 Nobody would notice. No, I don't think anybody

Speaker 1 in the establishment who works there. But there would be customers and be like, Who's that? Is that

Speaker 1 the guy from the comic book store? Is that the guy from Duck Dynasty?

Speaker 1 Oh, oh, yeah, all of a sudden now

Speaker 1 you can name only three celebrities with beards of that length, and you're annoyed by it. Oh, you got Rasputin.

Speaker 1 Not a celebrity. Yeah, not a historical figure that no one even knows.

Speaker 1 Winkle?

Speaker 1 Was that? Are there any real photographs of Brest Putin? I think so, yeah. I think there might be some early 20s ones.

Speaker 1 Yeah, you can't be upset that there aren't more celebrities

Speaker 1 with long beards. If you come at me with ZZ Top, I know you're fucking

Speaker 1 basic.

Speaker 1 If you want help with that caper, I will help you out.

Speaker 3 Get some command strips, an 8x10 in a frame, and just cause a distraction, stick it right up on the wall.

Speaker 1 That's what I want to do.

Speaker 1 What's on the itinerary, just of some things, for your trip with the, with the bros?

Speaker 1 Is there like camping?

Speaker 1 Is this fishing, hiking?

Speaker 2 There's some fishing, some water, water skiing, water jets, jet skiing.

Speaker 1 Whoa.

Speaker 2 Water sports action going on.

Speaker 1 Turn it on.

Speaker 2 It's a lot of water, a lot of seafaring.

Speaker 1 Oh, no, you're going to have to get a boat.

Speaker 2 Yeah,

Speaker 2 getting a catamaran for a day,

Speaker 2 getting a fishing chart.

Speaker 1 Yeah, sure. Captain Ross.

Speaker 1 Captain.

Speaker 2 Well, I know people that live down there who've lived there 30 years, so I'll use them as a guide to

Speaker 1 Dead Calm where he's out of motherfuckers.

Speaker 1 Q loves his privacy, so I didn't know if you want a captain that, you know,

Speaker 1 especially with such

Speaker 1 a personal trip like this with his brothers.

Speaker 1 All over over each other.

Speaker 1 Whoa, whoa, whoa.

Speaker 1 You boys are going to have to swap down. Captain Ron, trigger back.

Speaker 3 I do love the idea that a sudden storm comes up. The cataract gets pushed off course.

Speaker 1 Oh, no, Q's lost?

Speaker 3 Q is lost on a deserted island.

Speaker 1 Oh, no. Who's the skipper?

Speaker 1 Well, take away, Captain Ron. Who's the skipper of yours? Captain Ron drowns.

Speaker 2 Well,

Speaker 2 my older brother, Jimmy, was in the Navy for for a year, so I got to assume that he's the guy. Yeah,

Speaker 1 so

Speaker 1 you'd have to defer to his leadership

Speaker 2 on the high seat. Yeah, I think so.

Speaker 2 I think so. Yeah,

Speaker 2 he's a maritimer, you know what I'm saying? He knows what he's doing.

Speaker 1 How many years

Speaker 1 out of the service, though?

Speaker 2 It's been a while. It's been a while, 20-something years, 20-something years out of the service.

Speaker 1 But you're going to be out on the open water with a legit seaman

Speaker 1 playing water sports.

Speaker 1 Tell him, Steve Dave. I can't wait.

Speaker 4 Hey, Walt here. And I have a very, very quick announcement regarding the Patreon gift tiers and

Speaker 4 those who would like to jump up this cycle because this is the cycle where the Prussian kissing devil skull cookie jar is going to be given out.

Speaker 4 In September, October, and November, that's the cycle. Those are the months that it covers.
And

Speaker 4 if you're already in the $40, $60, or $100 tier, you just got to sit tight as you will get your jar in either September, October, or November.

Speaker 4 If you're not in one of those gift tiers and you'd like a jar, you must join the $40 tier before the end of September.

Speaker 4 And if you stay in that $40 tier through November, you'll get the jar along with another gift, as well as all that top-tier TESD Patreon content dropping every Tuesday.

Speaker 4 Here's just some of the shows that will be dropping during this cycle.

Speaker 4 TESD and D. We have, I think, three episodes are going to drop in this cycle.
We got Tim the Record Store Clerk, Jimmy the Hair Guy, and

Speaker 4 Tim Hill from Get Wrecked with Tim Hill.

Speaker 4 He was able to get down to Jersey and we got him on TESD ⁇ D.

Speaker 4 We got Tales from Behind the Fake Counter. Rock and Roll All Night and Podcast Every Day is coming back, and we are going to be covering the infamous

Speaker 4 Kiss disco record dynasty. And I'm going to make the argument that it's not really a disco record, and we'll see how that goes over.

Speaker 4 We have a Sunday Jeff Halloween special. We have a very special Baron von Flanagan documentary dropping in October for Halloween.

Speaker 4 A Halloween episode of Mystery Inc. Inc

Speaker 4 with Sunday Jeff guest starring. The premiere

Speaker 4 of I sold comics. That's right.
You heard me correct. The premiere episode of I sold

Speaker 4 comics

Speaker 4 with Ming Chen

Speaker 4 and two other special guests. I'll keep you guessing who they are.

Speaker 4 Uh we have the return of the TV guys on TV Guide and and just a whole bunch of other, like like i said upper echelon content going to be dropping in uh the september october and november cycle

Speaker 4 so again if you want one of those cookie jars you got to be in the 40 tier and you must join up before the end of september if you join up in october

Speaker 4 then you're eligible in december which cycle which starts the new cycle and you won't get the jar you'll get another it's gonna be a great gift but it won't be that jar though all right okay any questions?

Speaker 4 Hit me up at kmuse2 at gmail.com. All right, thanks.