#566: North of the Border

Shut the fuck up.

So, what'd you do, did you, Frogger?

Then come here and then sit there and fucking record for this fucking guy.

Yeah, for that guy.

Tell him, Steve, Dave.

Hello, and welcome to this week's edition of Tell him, Steve.

Dave, we are all here.

Get him, what's going on?

How you stanking?

Walt.

Hello.

And Bonjour.

BQ.

Hello.

Yeah, Walt was just up in Canada, so he's probably

by way of Ontario or whatever, Quebec.

He probably learned a couple French words.

How to go up there?

I was in Toronto.

Yeah.

I mean, I went to the Hockey Hall of Fame.

That was always cool.

But I had been there before.

And you weren't looking forward to it.

I remember you still.

No,

there wasn't all that much for me personally other than the Hockey Hall of Fame there.

A lot of things close early.

Yeah.

In a city.

I'm surprised.

It's not like New York where it never sleeps.

Never sleep.

Toronto sleeps.

Why did you go?

My daughter and her friend wanted to go to a music festival.

Oh, okay.

And everything is so expensive in Toronto.

I quickly figured out.

I was like,

this is weird that they're asking us to go, man.

Asking your daughter's friend, how much money did you bring, by the way?

And then we soon realized the reason that, but most likely they asked us to tag along was because of the fucking high cost of funding.

Yeah.

Oh.

The hotel room for

500 bucks a night.

Was that Canadian dollars or U.S.

dollars?

U.S.

dollars.

We had a yeah, you can't afford that as a young one.

No,

you're looking for that 75 buck a night room.

We had a major, like almost international incident, though, at the border, though.

He has too many Flintstones vitamins.

Monsieur, no.

So it's

me in the driver's seat.

My wife is in the passenger seat.

My daughter is in the back seat.

And her friend, she's sitting behind my wife.

So we're worried that, you know, initially we're in line going up to get into Canada.

We're a little bit, not worried, but we're making jokes that because we have somebody who's not part of the family,

like they're going to give us maybe the once over a little bit more scrutiny.

Yeah.

Is she of age at least?

Is she 18?

She was, I think she, if she's not 18, she's very close.

Yeah.

Yeah.

But so that we're just making jokes, and we're in a line that is not moving.

Like, all the other lines are like, people are flying through.

It looks like

easy pass.

So we get this one guy, and as soon as I pulled up, I was just like, I was a little concerned because he had.

I hate a comic book men.

Oh, shit.

Was he dancing as hell?

Okay.

No, he was definitely the most thorough border guard.

I mean, Canada's one of Canada's finest.

If he doesn't have a couple medals, you should, the way he was scrutinizing everyone going through, but he has mirrored sunglasses on.

But he tells me, I have to take my sunglasses off, though.

Yeah.

So we get the given the passports and he's asking us where we're going.

And he's just talking, making small talk.

And he says,

What do you do for a living?

And I wasn't ready for the question.

And I said, Oh, my wife.

I sell drugs.

Shit.

Fuck.

Trafficker.

And I said, oh, my wife is a school teacher.

And he goes, with no sense of humor whatsoever, he goes, I didn't ask what your wife did.

I asked what you did for a living.

And I didn't, and I know it's awful, but it goes right back to the early days of TSD where I was like, I did not want to say what I did for a living.

In front of your daughter.

Yeah, because I was just like, it's so fucking douchey.

It's douchey, but it's a podcaster.

But at the same time,

I agree with you.

But at the same time, because you're like, I'm a podcaster, it's like people are like, what?

How do you make money doing that?

What do you fucking do?

How poor are you?

It just sounds so cringy.

And then it opens the worm up.

You should be proud.

It's like if you can make a living doing it, but then the can of worms opens up.

Like, what did your dad do?

What is it?

What's the name of it?

If the guy's not like, what do you mean you're a podcaster?

Like, you don't know if he's going to start giving you shit.

Yeah.

So I was so reluctant to say what I'm unemployed.

So I'm like, what?

So I.

You can't use a general store?

You can't just be like, I'm a store manager.

If I had, I was quicker on my feet, but I was intimidated.

He had this mirrored sunglasses on.

Yeah, you don't know,

that tone changed.

Respect my authoritative.

Yeah.

When he said, I didn't ask you what your wife did, I asked you what you did.

That changed the whole thing.

It flipped it.

Now my heart's pounding like I got drugs, like taped to my thighs.

You're about to go to a tournament.

The Midnight Express

theme is

in my head.

Where are you doing here, eh?

He's that guy they warned you about, like in those seminars that had the

sheets of acid tape to his chest.

Yeah.

And he started sweating.

sweating oh boy so i said what so again you do that thing where like you repeat what he said yeah now you look suspicious

what do i do for a living oh i

um i run a media company i said wow not not inaccurate no i would say it's accurate yeah it's accurate and he goes what does that mean he goes i go i publish things

and he goes what do you publish like magazines and i go and immediately i thought a t sd beat magazine and i was like yeah yeah I publish magazines I said and he goes okay

I'm gonna need you to pull over

and he he made us pull over to the the headquarters yeah

four

armed guards I'm not kidding around this is so fucked up no armed guards

come out of the building

and they tell us to get out of the car

And as we're getting out of the car, they're like, you have to leave your phones in the car, he said.

Leave your phones in the car.

So we're like, okay.

And he made us sit on a bench, like where we could visibly see what they're doing.

Yeah.

It's like in a little center, right?

There's a bunch of other people in there, too.

I've been on that bench.

Yeah, but it was

our bus when we went through.

Yeah, they, they were, they left nothing unturned in that car.

Wow.

They went through the car for a good 20 minutes.

No.

Whoa, that is crazy.

Yeah, it was, it was starting to get like, you know, it's like not one magazine.

And at the same time, you're just like, you don't know this other girl that well.

So you're like,

what's the thing?

What's on here?

What is going on?

It's legal up there.

Is that in Canada?

Well, they asked us before we went in.

They're like, do you have any marijuana?

Yeah.

So we're like, okay, marijuana must be illegal if they're asking if we have it.

They just don't want you bringing it over the border.

Why?

American weed is then

they didn't sell it and get the taxes.

Oh, okay.

So we're sitting there as they tear, and then they start going through the luggage.

So they take all the luggage out of the car, and they're going through my bag.

Wow.

And I'm like, holding up your meundies in front of your girls.

No, it's not that.

It's the Patreon shit.

Like, I have, like, do I have a fake gun in there?

I'm going, oh, do I have the fake gun from the fucking wandering batter from TSD?

Like, oh, what if I have a knife in there from the fucking gun?

You were so proud of.

And I'm like, what do I have?

And I'm going, oh, and I'm starting to panic.

And I'm like, oh, my God, they're touching everything.

They're going underneath the seats, like they're pushing the seats down and going through it.

And then they tell us to go inside.

And then they don't come and see us for a good hour.

Holy shit.

I can't go to the bathroom either.

And I said, can I use the bathroom?

Like, no, you can't use the bathroom.

Oh, how annoying.

Just being pricks for the sake of being pricks.

There's no way to do it.

There's just no legal for it.

No, if he's got, you know, if he swallowed drugs or something, that's how you get rid of it.

No, I know why, but I mean.

And I want it to be like, well, can someone come with me to the bathroom?

You didn't drop Combo, man?

No.

If I'm not going to drop, I'm a podcaster.

I'm not going to drop.

I was on TV 20 years ago between the hours of 1 a.m.

and 5 a.m.

You get reruns on your TV.

You know what?

Forget it.

It wouldn't matter because it was never reran.

But that was the big excitement, though.

And my wife was like.

Why didn't you tell me you were a podcaster?

She's like, why did you say that?

You looked you sad as so suspicious.

What are you supposed to say?

The truth.

The truth.

She was saying, why don't you just tell me what you're talking about?

But you do run a media company.

You do.

She said

the way you spoke to him,

every flag would have went out the way you're like, what do I do?

I run a media company.

Yeah.

Yeah, the magazines.

That's the ticket.

Yeah.

Magazines are on the rage now.

Don't you heard?

She was like, when we go back through, just say you're unemployed.

It's less shameful.

You should have said you're on strike.

Oh, you're a sag actor.

Yeah, I see.

Oh, there you go.

There's a million things I should have said.

Almost anything but what you said.

Yeah, but then they finally let us go.

On the way back through, were you okay?

On the way back, the guy was just like, again, he threw us for a little bit of a loop.

He goes, Winston, what country are you from?

And we're like,

America.

It's the greatest one in the world.

And he goes, okay, have a nice day.

Yeah.

And that was it.

That's the way we do it in America.

Come on in.

Well, everybody's welcome.

You're an American citizen.

They're not going to bother you.

Because they have the passports.

Why would they ask me what country I'm from?

He's got to do something.

He's got to throw you.

You might be Chad.

Yeah.

Shit.

I was at the plate fucking swinging and missing on everything.

Every pitch was going by.

Did they ask the girls anything or was he just focused on you?

They said, What, what,

they said, why, what's your business in Canada?

I was like, we're going to a music festival.

And like, what's the name of the music festival?

And I'm like,

you'd have to ask them.

And And they told them the name of the festival and like, what bands are playing?

And they knew.

They knew.

They didn't freeze up like they joke.

Oh, the Mijis.

The Beatles.

Everything like a hunter.

These are just people I hope are there.

Can you see the Sunshine Band?

Tupac.

Mickey's probably.

Captain Atteal.

Brian Adams.

He's from Canada, right?

Yeah.

Rush.

Triumph.

Oh, no.

None of the names that they said.

No, I don't care.

The most knowledgeable Border Guard wouldn't even know what the bands these bands were.

Years back, I went through the warp tour list of bands.

There's like 125 bands.

I literally did not know one.

Not one.

I had never heard of.

Out of 125 bands that are popular enough to go on a stage and play in front of people.

Yeah, with 20 other bands.

With 20 big bands.

Yeah.

Yeah.

But yeah, that was my Canadian experience.

Pizza Sucks in Canada.

That's not a surprise.

Yeah.

I mean, I don't know if that's going to offend any of our Canadian listeners.

I think they use Beaver Cheese up there.

Like we know.

Real cheese.

Beaver cheese.

Yeah.

You went away too, Q.

I was away.

Let's hear about your trip and let's hear about why we weren't able to record last week.

And I'll just say this.

Yeah.

It doesn't, not you, but as a listener, as a follower on Twitter, it doesn't help your case when you come on and you're a smarmy little fucking dickhead.

The reason we didn't record last week was because q had an emergency a serious emergency walt and i were here we were ready to go q had an emergency we ended up not recording nothing is gonna fucking change that yeah why what did it what did it's like because i put up my uh my power washing video and somebody was like oh i'm glad that we got this and when i've been waiting three weeks for more tsd first off it's it hasn't been three weeks okay It hasn't been three weeks.

It had been two weeks at the point that he'd done that.

And that episode would have come out, but what the fuck?

In fact, let's hear about that first.

Let's hear about that.

Well, now I feel like it's built up so much that it's not.

No, you know, if you're a fucking rider, like if you ride a motorcycle,

you know that you would not want this to happen.

No, I was coming over the outer bridge on Staten Island on 440,

which is very busy.

I was going to say, for people that are like, because, you know, in LA, people are like, oh, the 10, the 5, the 101, and nobody knows what the fuck they're talking about.

The 440 going from Jersey to Staten Island or vice versa is extremely busy.

And you have some of the biggest asshole drivers in the world.

And I was shocked that you took a motorcycle on that route.

Well, yeah, I know.

You got to kind of got to be okay with highway driving or else you can't go anywhere.

I thought you'd just stick to like, you know, the back roads, dirt roads and stuff.

Staten Island

property.

Because that's a dangerous route to get.

It's not if your motorcycle's working like it should.

Like you're just zooming along.

You could.

There are times when I'm like, I want to ride out to Q's, but then when I'm leaving at night, I do not trust people because they're just all over.

Yeah, they're all over

the Staten Island Expressway.

I don't really drive at night anymore

on the motor, ride at night on the motorcycle.

But I was coming over the bridge and I was doing about, you know,

whatever the speed of the watch, 65, you know, whatever it is.

And I had gotten into the left lane

because the right lane starts jamming up because there's a couple of exits and people never know what they're fucking doing.

So I was like, let me get in the left lane.

So maybe I sped up to 70.

And I'm,

and cars are passing me, like zipping by me on my right to my left is a cement barrier there's no shoulder on the left so I'm just driving between a cement barrier and cars whipping past me I mean if I was doing 70 they were doing 80 90 you know what I mean they're going by and then my bike just fucking dies it just dies and I couldn't get it restarted and I'm quickly decelerating you know from let's say 70 or 65 to you know eventually zero in the passing lane in the in the passing lane in the far left lane and I wanted to get over but I couldn't get get it.

Oh, you're in the fast lane?

That's how I'm in the fast lane because

I went around the bottleneck.

Right and wheels.

Do you take your helmet off at this point so they let everybody see you so they don't beep at you?

No.

I wish, man.

A little bit kinder and even are not as nasty to you.

Maybe you're like, what the fuck?

Oh, it's cute.

Instead, give them a motorcade.

It would have been nice.

I would have taken that.

It was instead I got like, you know, the car behind me instantly starts laying on the horn as if I'm slowing down to zero for no reason.

reason and I'm you know I can't get to the right because I'm decelerating quickly and the cars next to me is zipping past me so fast so I'm like I can't go left because there's no shoulder and it's worth mentioning too that like when your bike does that your steering gets it's like imagine your power steering going out it's yeah very sluggish and very difficult to right suddenly you're pushing 600 pounds yeah so I'm trying to so that's it I mean that was like fucking scary so I'm like

maybe I could push it to the left side and leave it there and then just try and frogger my way across the fucking highway because there was nowhere to go.

There was just nowhere to go.

And

it was fucking, I don't really get rattled all that often.

I don't really get scared that often, but I was like, this is fucking a serious situation, man.

It was, it was pretty scary.

And

so what did you do?

Did you frogger?

No,

I shook the bike real hard because I figured maybe it was a gas issue or a wiring issue.

And it got the bike started again.

And I was able to get to like 15 miles per hour, and it wouldn't go above 15.

It was like

that sort of thing.

But cars next to me, like the guys behind me, now I got a line building up behind me, and the people who are behind me are getting pissed.

So, they're jacking out of the passing lane, getting into the Senate lane, and taking off.

And I'm like, I'm like, I'm gonna fucking die here.

There's nothing I can do, and I'm telling, I'm trying to put my hand out, but nobody knows what I'm doing.

No consideration, nobody knows, nobody cares.

So, finally, I saw a car in the way back get out of the line, cut off the traffic to try and beat past me.

And I was like, fuck it, I just got to take a chance.

And I shoved my bike into the middle lane.

And that guy came up behind me and hit the brakes real hard.

Now he starts laying on the honking.

And I'm just trying to tell anybody, like, I have to go out.

I'm like, just help.

I'm like, help me out.

Like, I'm like, just fucking go over there.

Help me out.

Guy didn't help me out.

So I had to do that all over again, except now I had no power.

So I'm just sort of bitch

waddling my bike over and I got it over to the edge.

And I just had to wait.

Now I have cars zipping past me 90 on the left, zipping past me, 80 on the right, and I got to get over there.

And it went on for like five minutes.

And it's just like that is a long amount of time for cars to be zipping past you, people to be honking at you, people screaming, not knowing what to do.

I've never been in this situation before.

I just, I just, yeah,

it was fucking terrifying.

Just give up.

So then I finally get over to the right, but like in the worst spot, because there was an exit to the right and to the parkway.

Went to the parkway, right?

So it's the busiest exit on 440.

And I wanted to get past it so like I can call a tow truck or whatever past it, but I couldn't get past it.

There was just no way.

And I couldn't, there was no break in the traffic for me to shove the bike, you know, push the bike.

So now I'm just next to the busiest exit with,

thank God, a shoulder, but cars zipping past me.

No motorcycles to stop.

And I thought it was the rules of the road.

Oh,

there's a brotherhood brother.

I thought there was.

And I had my four-colored demons vest on.

I took that off because I didn't want to be representing like that.

So I took that off and I put it down on the thing.

I call Triple-A.

Well, you don't have the motorcycle thing.

You don't have motorcycle coverage.

And I'm like, all right, well, how much is motorcycle cost?

Well, it's 30 bucks a year, but you can't add it now.

And I'm like, all right.

I was like, but I've been like a customer since like 88 when my mom put me on the thing.

I ain't nothing you can do to help me out.

No,

we'll call the

guy for you.

Tow truck.

You're going to have to pay.

All right, no problem.

How long is that going to take?

Hold on.

Come back.

About 80 minutes.

80 minutes.

And it's fucking 98 degrees out.

There's no shade.

It's just beating on me because there's no trees.

You know, and then fucking the cars are with mine.

And I'm like, I don't have a choice.

So I'm like, all right.

All right.

I'll wait.

What else can I do?

You wouldn't abandon the bike?

Well, I would have to go back for it to get it eventually.

Yeah, I can't just

walk.

So I'm like, yeah, and there's no place to go because I have to get past that exit.

Yeah, as soon as he takes his helmet off, someone's stopping now.

Well, I called the motorcycle

and

I'm like, hey, man, I'm down.

And I've taken my bike there before.

And I'm like, hey, man, I'm down the highway.

And

my bike died.

I don't know what's going on.

Can I get a towed to you?

Guy turned out to be a great guy.

Goes, look, man, how old's the bike?

I said, 2009.

They're like,

we don't really deal with bikes that old anymore.

And I said, well, you just, I go,

you fixed it a couple of years ago.

I was like, I know you do.

I I said, I'm in this spot.

He goes, hold on.

Comes back.

He's like, sorry, man.

We're too backed up.

We don't have room for it now.

Lord.

Did you take your helmet off so they saw your promotion?

Well, I did.

So

I had to go.

So I go, well, I was like, could you do me a favor and look in the computer?

I was like, because I'm a customer.

I've been there a couple of times.

So he looks in and then he realizes that it's me.

And I was like, all right.

He's like, who?

And I'm like, dude, I said, I hate to drop my own name.

I was like, but I'm in a fucking jam here, man.

I was like, I got a tow truck.

I would love to bring it to you guys.

You guys worked on the bike before.

No problem.

So that was it.

And then the tow truck came about Aaron 20 minutes later,

and I got it there.

And they were working on the bike.

It was some wire.

Some wire.

It's a loose wire.

It was some fucking mechanical issue.

I haven't even gone to pick it up yet.

Because they're like, we can get this fixed you today.

And I was like, guys, I was like, do me a favor, keep it because I'm going to Vegas tomorrow.

I was like, do a full safety check head to toe.

I don't ever want to be in this situation again.

And of course, and they are great guys.

Power Sports, great.

I mean, fucking above the board, saved my ass.

But, you know, they sell triumph.

So right away they're like, why don't you just trade this in for a new triumph?

Oh, really?

Yeah.

But great guys, great guys.

Helped me out completely.

Like,

zero, but great things to say about them.

So if you're wondering

why there wasn't an episode last week.

Oh, it was.

It was because Q got fucked.

I got fucked, and then I baked in the sun for an hour and 20 minutes.

Like, I was in so much fuck.

And then you're supposed to go to the

dealership.

Yeah.

And then you're supposed to somehow get here because you have to go home first, get your car, then come here, and then sit there and fucking record for this fucking guy.

Yeah, for that guy.

For that guy.

Now you see.

Now you said, did I drop the comic book men or anything?

Now it did work for Q.

He dropped, you know, he name-dropped

and it got done.

Can you imagine in a world though where I name-drop like the meaningless, almost

weightless

name-drop that I would be dropping for this Border Patrol people.

And then the embarrassment and the shame.

When there's no recognition, and I did that, though, oh my god.

I wouldn't do it either.

Like, but if I'm like, kid,

I can't do that.

I gotta do that.

That's worse than saying I'm a podcaster.

If you're lying anyway, why not just tell me you're cue?

I didn't feel comfortable doing it.

That's why I had them look in the computer and hope that I wouldn't have to take that next step.

You know what I mean?

And it turned out I didn't have to.

And then, you know, I'm there.

I'm taking photos.

I'm doing FaceTime videos, like whatever the fuck they want me to do, I'm doing, you know, just to keep it to keep it going.

But, uh, we still got to get our ride in this summer, man.

Yeah, yeah.

Well, my bike should be done now, so I just got to pick it up.

Um, that doesn't scare you off now, if you're like, you know what, maybe I'm a little,

maybe my bike days are behind me after this.

I think my passing lane days are beyond me at this point.

I think next time that

next time that there's a fucking traffic buildup, I'm just going to sit in that fucking right lane and just wait for the traffic to go because it was fucking scared.

Dude, I have not, I don't think I was ever that nervous in a fire like what back in the other day.

Like it was like, it was just you're powerless, completely fucking powerless to do anything.

You're hoping that hundreds and hundreds and hundreds of cars are paying attention and don't fucking swerve over and fucking nick you or somebody be like, what's this fucking asshole doing?

Like, and the guy beeping at Q, and then he goes around him and hits Q.

You know, like there's any number of things that could have gone wrong.

There's trucks zipping by full speed.

So, you know, and you're like, oh, shit, like that wind hit you and shit, like that hot fucking 98-degree wind.

Oh, it was something, man.

I didn't smell it like that.

I didn't break it today.

Oh, it was terrible.

But then you went to Vegas.

Then I went to Vegas.

Was that fun at least?

It was a lot of fun because my buddy Terry was out there.

I was going out anyway.

I was already going to Vegas.

And then my buddy Terry was doing a Star Trek con.

So I was like, he was like, come do it.

You know, let's do it.

Let's have fun.

So I went and did it because I was in that episode of Star Trek.

It was good.

A lot of ants.

A lot of fun.

Oh, dude.

It was like.

That's cool.

And every one of them was like, thought they were the only ant there.

And I was like, no, I'm like, I'm telling you, they're everywhere here.

The first day, like 20 ants came up.

Really?

And I was like, go.

I was like, find them.

I was like, they're all wearing the shirts and shit like that.

So it was like kind of cool hanging out with like a bunch of four-colored demons and stuff like that.

I don't want to say which one it is, but I kind of got like a little bullied by a Star Trek actor.

Really?

Yeah.

I did.

I don't want to say which one.

I do want to say it wasn't anybody on the next generation, but uh, it was um

I guess because we went out to this dinner, right?

It was this dinner, like,

yeah, like a private dinner, and we went and like the staff was excited that I was there.

It was in the Paris Hotel in the, in the, the, anyway, they were excited that I was there because they were fans of Jokers.

So, while we were out dinner, you know, I'm taking pictures with the staff, the waiters, all this stuff, whatever.

So, I guess this guy, and I can't say who he is because I like it.

It's not that he didn't like it.

It wasn't Shatner.

It was Shatner, wasn't it?

It wasn't Shatner.

That's a great story.

It's a legendary story.

If it was Shatner, I'll just make it Shatner.

All right, it was Shatner.

Okay, it was Shatner.

So Shatner, so finally somebody's like, I guess Shatner asked, it's not Shatner.

I guess Shatner asked,

you know, why is this guy?

Who is this guy?

Why is he doing it?

And then.

My buddy goes, oh, that's Brian Quinn.

He's on a practical jokes.

You want to meet him?

Come say hi.

I don't know why.

So he comes over and

first thing out of his mouth, and I love when people do this, is like, I don't know your show.

I'm sure that my children watch it, but

I don't watch it.

And I was like, oh, I was like, oh, it's okay.

I go, a lot of people don't.

That's always my standard.

I don't know what I'm supposed to say.

And then he goes, and then like, he goes, well, he goes, I'm sure my children watch it.

He goes, but I don't watch reality TV show,

reality TV.

And I'm like,

he's not poor.

He's too good.

Wait, wait, wait, wait till we get to the reason.

And I go, oh, I was like, yeah, I was like, I guess it's kind of reality.

Yeah, I go, but I go, we don't really vote people off islands.

I go, you know, it's more like can the camera.

I was like, call it reality because kind of, that's what it is these days.

But,

oh, yeah, I won't, I won't watch anything that supported Trump and that Trump came out of.

And I'm like,

and I'm like, well, we've never had Trump on the show.

And he goes, no, reality TV.

He came from reality, so I won't give my time to the format.

And I go, Wow, and I go, so much better than everybody else.

He was in movies before that, like he was in Home Alone.

Well, I, dude, believe me, I brought up Home Alone, someone else, not to Shatner.

And I go, Yeah, I go, I go, you know, we've been around 13 years, so it was before him.

Oh, I'm sure this, I'm, I know the show's been around a long time, and I'm sure it's very successful.

I just don't admire the format

of reality television.

And now, like, what am I supposed to do with that?

Like, this is an actor that I know that I, like, I watched the show he was on.

Like, I was excited to meet him.

And I'm like, well, what am I supposed to fucking do now?

Like, what is anybody supposed to say in that situation?

I'm sorry.

Yeah.

I'm like, oh, and then so, like, we're standing there kind of just like awkwardly.

And like, he doesn't give a fuck because he's in his fucking 70s.

He doesn't care.

Right.

This actor?

Yeah.

So is it like, do you that, do you also hate the presidency since Trump was a president?

And do you also hate casino owners and hotel owners because you own casinos and hotels?

No.

like what a fucking stupid thing.

Look, you don't like reality TV?

Okay, that's fine.

I don't

think that.

But to be like, oh, because of Trump is like, shut the fuck up.

We've all been drinking for three hours at the standout.

Why are you bringing up Trump?

It was just so, and I was fucking, I got blotted.

I did get blotted that day.

Yeah, too, man.

Had to.

I'm getting bullied.

I got pretty bullied.

Because of the bullying or before the bullying?

Leading into the bullying.

Did it help?

It didn't hurt, right?

To get bullied.

I'm just not.

Because

there are tons of Star Trek actors at this dinner, so it's like, I don't, what am I going to do?

I have nothing to do but just fucking take whatever this guy's giving me.

Smoking that push.

Yeah, so I'm like, oh, man.

And then they put me next to, and then the other thing is, like, they put, because I wasn't supposed to be there, so we didn't advertise that I was going to be there.

So anybody that saw me was just a surprise.

And also, we're not allowed to, although I could have done a practical jokers because it's not a SAG show, like, we're not allowed, like, everything had to be generic.

It couldn't say

he was in Picard, he was in it, so it just says Brian Quinn because of the strike, yeah, because of the strike, you're not even allowed to promote like all the panels and stuff.

You couldn't say I could because like I could talk about a practical joker, but like, right, you couldn't say the name.

So, when we were talking about Picard, it was like, well, that at that show I was on type thing.

So, but whatever.

So, so nobody knew I was there.

So, it's like, and then they put me next to Worf, who is also

like a door.

And then, and then Terry, and then the other side of Terry is the new guy who plays Spock.

So, you got Hot Spock, as they call him, that's on Other World right now that everybody loves.

Then you got Terry, who saved fucking Star Trek by making Picard Season 3 just save the whole fucking thing.

And then you have Worf, who is the actor that's been in more Star Trek episodes than any other person on the planet.

And in the middle of all this is me with a sign that doesn't even say fucking Q on it.

It's just

not even allowed to wear a Star Trek shirt then, right?

Nothing.

You're like, you can't even have the little insignia.

Nothing.

That little, what's that little upside down?

No, the little

thing.

Nothing.

So, so.

Could Dorne advertise that he was on chips or no?

No, I don't think he could.

I don't think he could.

So, so,

so it's like, these guys are killing it.

They're killing it.

You know, and I'm just sitting there like, you know, and it wasn't like nobody came to my table.

Like, I had people there, but, like, you had to see these fucking lines.

So, you, you went to a convention?

Yeah, that's what I said, Star Trek.

For a couple days.

And

you were in the pit you were in down with the, with the, and and you were down there

pressing flesh and kissing babies.

Exactly.

I was doing that next to because I went, because I'll hang out with Terry all day because he's in the table next to me.

What is the carrot on the stick that they got to fucking prance in front of you?

Nothing.

Nothing.

Wow, I'm really surprised that's how you'd spend your weekend.

I just do shit for fun, yeah.

Well, I wanted to hang out with my boy because he lives in LA and I don't get to see him as much as I'd love to.

Couldn't you do it at night and not have to like, you know, sit and shake sweaty hands all day?

I don't know.

It was just like fun.

I was just like, oh, I'll just fucking goof around and do it.

It's like when we did people did Cullen's con, right, same thing.

That was fun.

That was fun.

Like, if I just want to do something for fun, I don't have a problem.

And you weren't selling anything.

No, we, I mean, if I if I told you what I sold, you'd probably, you'd probably think I'm complaining about nothing, but like, I'm just saying, compared to everybody.

Did you sell eight by tens of you?

Yeah.

Did you?

Yeah.

Yeah.

Okay.

It was like, it was

that's all I do.

That's it.

Just like you know.

So do you have a handler that like takes the money and says, like, if you you want a picture of Q, it's going to cost this much?

Yeah, my boy Mike, who was extremely pleasant to spend time with, but would sometimes just wander away.

And then people would come up and be like, and it's like, you know, it would be an ant.

They'd have the four-colored demon shirt.

I'm not going to charge them.

So I ended up.

Oh, you charge ants.

I charge.

I don't know.

If they got to me, if they got to me without hitting

Mike,

they got it for free.

Because I was like, I can't, I can't.

It's impossible, right?

It's impossible to be like, give me money for this picture.

Of Of course, even though you've supported us for God knows how long.

What am I going to do?

And I'm happy to do it because I wasn't there for money anyway.

You know what I mean?

So I was like, happy to do it.

But it was like, it was an incredible event.

Yeah, this blows my mind.

I thought if you're going to Vegas, it's like, in my mind,

Vegas vacation.

It's, yeah, it's, it's, it's a fucking, it's Sodom and Gomorrah.

No.

And it's like, I can't, like, I would never have dreamed that you're sitting.

Q's an older guy now.

This is not young Q you're talking to anymore.

You know, smiling

with thumbs up for pictures and stuff.

Yeah, it's not the sort of thing.

Like, like Murray does them.

If you go on Murray's website, he does them all the time.

This is the first one I've done.

Probably the last one I'll do.

But I just wanted to do it because I don't know.

I was just sitting next to my boy.

There's a lot of money to be made in these fucking conzo, man.

These Star Trek actors will

fucking walk away with bricks.

Bricks of money.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Those are all the Walking Dead people.

When we used to do those Walker-Stalker cons, the Walking Dead people would have like fucking hefty bags for you.

If you're telling me that they're making fucking 80, 80 grand like a day, I'd be like,

I think some people are looking for a little bit.

I can believe Shatner was there on Sunday.

I only went a day and a half, but like, I had fun.

I didn't mind interacting with people.

And then you go backstage, and it's like, it's all the actors from Star Trek who have known each other 40 years and me.

And they don't know who the fuck I am.

So it's like, I'm just sitting in a room with all these people that I've grown up watching on television as they talk to each other.

And they're all in the 70s now.

Side-eye in you.

Yeah.

Who's this?

Tonya Realities TV sucks.

Only one of them.

That guy, Jonathan Frakes, is like my favorite guy on the planet.

Like a lot of people were nice to me.

Very, very nice to me.

I thought maybe a fan wandered in, got past security.

Felt like that.

Termite in the nest.

Yeah.

Termite in the nest, the poet word for security to escort the fan.

Were you fingering your badge to make sure that they saw you were wearing it?

No, I didn't even wear a badge.

That was the other thing.

But it was fun.

Like, I had a good time.

And, like I said, the Next Generation Caf were pretty great to me.

And Frakes, Jonathan Frakes is amazing.

And hanging out with Terry was fun.

But that one shatner guy, I was just like, I don't know what to do about this.

But yeah, and that was it.

That was it.

Walt, I would wage to say I was in bed by midnight every night.

Really?

Yeah.

In Vegas.

And now, do you, when you're, when your head hits the pillow, are you just like, I can't believe I'm in Vegas.

I'm going to bed at midnight.

No, I was so tired.

I was 107 degrees and I was like, nowhere was more.

And it takes something out of you all day talking to people people and hanging out and shit.

Yeah, it makes you tired.

You just want to not talk and not be surrounded by people.

Yeah, I know that feeling.

But it was, you know, it was fun.

And the ants I got to talk to were great.

There were a lot of them.

There were a lot of them.

Nice.

Well, while you guys were getting

stopped at the border and bullied by 70-year-old men,

I picked up the classical guitar again.

Wait, wait, wait, wait, because I want to show you what actor it was.

Third lesson, Walt.

Took it today.

Well,

I want to give this all the attention.

It's Cesar's background.

You can see who I'm talking about.

That guy?

Yeah, that guy.

Holy shit.

Holy shit.

Oh, my God.

Who's fucking guy?

Hand of God.

I was going to mention that name.

Really?

Yeah.

I'm glad you didn't.

You know, like, I'm a fan of him.

Every time he pops up and shit, I like him, but he had no time for me.

Oh,

yeah.

Was that heartbreaking, you know?

Kind of, yeah.

Yeah, you wanted to be somebody you didn't like.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Anyway, sorry.

Anyway, yeah, I was down at the bagel store in Atlantic Highlands, and I was just sitting there, and on the post there, like one of the support beams, like somebody had, this guy, Marco, had put up his flyer for classical guitar lessons.

And I was like, I keep talking about it, and I keep talking about it.

All right, I'm just going to call him.

So I did it.

Great.

Three weeks in.

Yeah.

Learning the classical guitar again.

Pretty good.

It's going well.

Yeah, it's fun.

What songs do you know?

Do you envision

starting up a band, like the Garage Band?

I could do that.

I could see myself doing that.

Yeah, writing some songs.

Well, I would have to get back into the regular guitar.

Right now, it's just classical.

That, um, that I'm uh what's the difference between regular guitar and classical?

Like, classical is like a nylon string guitar that you would play classical music like Bach, Brom, blah, blah, blah, all that stuff.

That's what you're practicing?

That stodgy fucking guys and fucking powdered witch?

That shit that I used to play way back in the day that you made fun of me for.

Yes, that stuff.

You're not doing Eddie Van Halen shit.

Yeah.

I'm 55 with almost no motor skills at all.

No, he's doing deliverance.

Yeah, I could play deliverance probably.

Really?

I thought I was here in my mind.

Again, I envision, I hear Q's in Vegas.

I hear that, like, he's in a fucking big, gigantic, fucking champagne fucking cup, like one of those, you know,

three

bucksome broads drunk off his ass.

It's not my 30s anymore.

I hear you're practicing guitar.

Poor Mary Beth.

I'm just going to get all the girls.

Like you're sliding across the room on your knees.

You're barely walking across the room, I know.

And I've got Persitis, for Christ's sake.

Join the club.

Wow, you're shattering my illusions of both of you guys.

I know.

My top note was like, for the first time ever, I didn't throw away the AARP mailer.

I'm like, I could probably

sound.

Yeah, in fact, I am interested.

Thank Thank you.

So who's your favorite classical composer?

My favorite classical composer?

I'm so ignorant.

All three ignoramuses.

I meant

classic rock.

Did I say classical?

When you said you're like classical music, I really thought you were talking about like Hendrix, like fucking classic rock.

I really did never dream that it was fucking guys who died a million years ago.

Like Hendrix?

But at least there's photographs of these guys, not drawings.

I was going to get a tattoo of Mozart on my arm.

No,

I don't know.

There's no way I'm going to get to the level that I want to be.

Like, my level of classical guitar goal is so much lower than my goal would be for electric guitar.

Like, my electric guitar, it's like, I want to play with guys that I have absolutely no chance of playing like.

You know what I mean?

Like, what do you mean?

Like, why can't you do it, though?

I don't have the chance.

Your fingers aren't fast enough?

My fingers aren't fast enough.

I'm starting when I'm 55 rather than starting when I'm six.

It's just not a skill.

It's a skill I don't think I could have ever acquired.

Even when I played back in my teens.

I don't think I would like it's it's like guys that are awesome at hockey or guys that are awesome at basketball or guys, you know, like guys that can run real fast.

It's like you either got it or you don't.

You can practice it and get even better.

But like, I personally think I would never have the ability to play Eddie Van Helen or Jeff Loomis or any of you.

What does your teacher say about your skills, you know, after picking it up like this?

He said something today that made me think of you.

And I was like, if you think you just laughed now.

He goes, most of my students aren't perfectionists like you.

Really?

It's the first time in my life I think I've ever been called a perfectionist.

I was like, I straightened up.

I was like, oh, wow.

Started beaming a little bit.

I wouldn't laugh at that, man.

You're chasing a passion.

Yeah, but I'm not known for my perfectionism.

That's more of a fucking attitude.

Yeah.

So, what do you do?

How long does he come over for?

He comes for an hour once a week.

And what's like the

what do you do in that hour then?

Do you just talk about classical music?

No, not really.

Mostly we just like play.

Like, you know, I had to start from basically the ground floor because because I haven't played since 1992 or something.

So I'm like relearning sheet music, learning how to read on site, that kind of stuff, relearning all that shit, relearning form and keeping my form right.

But I have this problem with my pinky.

A lot of people do.

Their pinky shoots out when they're trying to play.

So I have to work on that.

My pinky flat.

Did you ever consider just lopping it off?

I wouldn't consider that.

Do you need it at this point?

I can turn a doorknob without it.

I would be lying if I were to say like not cut it off but i'm like what if i just taped it down like just taped it down the whole time and then i wouldn't have to worry but it's so connected to this yeah this other finger that you know it's difficult my my point being though that i started buying some stuff from one of our sponsors oh american music

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Totally don't need it.

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Okay, what else do we got here?

We got all kinds of stuff.

I guess I can probably read this one next to get this one out of the way.

Let's talk about Patreon.

Every week, a new show is released.

For only $5 a month, you can access the entire Patreon audio catalog.

Which Patreon?

That would be Tell'em Steve Dave or TESD.

Oh, okay.

Our vanity URL.

That's over 500 hours of exclusive content.

Whether you're looking for more than just, if you're looking for more than just audio, Patreon has that that too.

Video podcast featuring Tellum Steve, Dave, Town's favorites, Sunday Jeff, Frank 5, Tim the Record Store, Clerk, Brian, Nichelle, get him, and many more.

Multiple levels of merch.

Talk about your, oh, I was supposed to talk about my favorite merch.

I don't even have to think.

It's that fucking magazine.

That TSD Team Beat is my favorite piece of merchandise.

TS Jeff.

Well, do you think his handiwork along with my lot of the

if you do you think if you had a copy of Tez D Beat in the car with you at the border, would that have gone hand?

And just whipped it right out and handed it to the guy.

Do you think that would have helped you out?

I don't think so.

I think that guy

has an agenda.

That Border Patrol agent had an agenda.

He has a certain amount of people he's going to pull over.

He's got a quota to meet.

He just fell victim.

Okay.

Let's see.

The shows, your favorite show and a new show.

Let's see.

My favorite show, probably Comic Book Man, Behind the Fake Counter.

And then I would say new show, TV Guys.

Oh, fuck, yeah, I love that show.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, Walt's newest creation, man.

People are talking about this.

Check this out.

Yeah, all right.

See if you can wrap your head around this.

All right,

I've on eBay, I purchased a lot of TV guides ranging from the years 1976 and 1996.

Right,

and every episode I'll bring one

issue in, yeah, and we will break it down from cover to back cover.

All the TV guide listings, me, Jeff, Bri.

Isn't that

a thousand listings?

We don't care.

We got all right.

What are we doing?

I just mean for the listeners.

I said to Walt, I was like, at a certain point, people are going to be like, man, they just read an old magazine.

Because there's also a previous one.

It gives you a lot to talk about.

Yeah, you're constantly bouncing off a new show, and that kind of branches off into a different conversation about something else.

It's been a pretty good, a pretty well-received podcast.

Yeah.

And you combine, because it never happened before,

Sunday Jeff and Frank Five on the same show at the same time.

Woof.

Yeah.

Star Power.

You're literally taking a risk of breaking the internet.

And I took that risk.

It brings Sunday Jeff's energy level to a two.

Wow.

Whoa.

Jesus.

He's out of control.

So sign up today at patreon.com slash tellemsteve dave.

That's patreon.com slash tellem steve dave thank you to everyone who is on patreon really thanks to everyone who listens in general except for that one guy that little jerk yeah but really special thanks to uh all the patreon supporters uh and we do have something speaking of patreon

we need to talk about um

some

uh auctions we're going to be doing a lot oh yeah yeah um

so i got the word over the weekend that a a lick a long time listener

old school, old school, Nate, I don't know if he wants me to say his listener, Nate Diggity, Nate Diggity.

Yeah, that's great.

We like him, like him a lot.

Yeah, he's been around forever.

He had a house fire and lost everything, apparently.

So, oh man, I thought we'd put together a couple auctions for them for the guy.

Please, let's help the guy out.

He's always been so good to us.

So, I'm calling this.

If you're going to look for it on eBay, they're going to be up when this episode drops.

The TSD Nate 10

benefit for Nathan

eBay Auctions.

Is that correct?

Nate 10?

Nate 10, get it?

10 auctions?

Nate auctions.

Oh, gosh, yeah.

Very good.

There you go.

Nate 10.

To benefit Nate eBay auctions.

The TSD Nate 10 to benefit Nate eBay auctions.

So

there's 10 auctions going up there right now.

All the proceeds, 100%, are going to Nate.

First up, we got a Frank Five Rewind VHS tape signed by everybody.

Well, not everybody.

Bry, Q, me, Frank Five.

Got a Dollar Shave wallet.

Woof.

And signed toolbox.

That's one auction.

That's a wallet you want to hang off your chain.

Yeah.

Get your chain wallet going.

What was that movie with

Julius?

Pulp Fiction.

Pulp Fiction, yeah.

Which wallet's yours?

Respect me, respect my money.

Those little caricature of Sunday Church Dollar Shave, yeah, with his money and his dice.

Beautiful leather wallet.

You'd be proud to carry that wallet.

Got a sign TSD Beat magazine, which we spoke about earlier in the episode.

We have a skateboard deck.

There's only two of these left, two skateboard decks left.

And Gidem

to help out Nate has, what have you done to that skateboard deck?

I've converted them to,

in place of the trucks, are light bulb sockets.

So it actually looks like instead of wheels, it has actual light bulbs.

So it works as a light in your cells.

Yes.

Yes.

Mounted on the wall.

Yes, it comes with a wall mount, and it comes with four LED bulbs.

They're 60-watt equivalents uh sorry 40 watt equivalents it comes with the bulbs too it comes with the bulbs too and these are frank five approved wattages oh nice

that's an all about frank reference you gotta check on patreon.com slash tsd we are but here are some of the jewels of the 10 auctions up first we have

the let's all go toho the movies collector's plate now i'm not sure yan i can't remember if i told the story about what happened to these plates on tsd or on a patreon show Not on TSD because I didn't hear it.

You didn't hear it, yeah.

I made some collector's plates, you know, plates.

Remember, like, I guess Star Trek would be, I remember seeing Star Trek.

I have two.

I have one with Picard and one with Shatner.

Do you see the gold paint around the rim of the plate, Q?

Yeah, these plates are not freezing off.

Don't lick it.

Well, these were originally going to be Patreon gifts.

But in between getting them off the boat from China and into America, though,

they

that same customs agent.

Yeah, they got held up in customs.

I remember getting a call one night from a border agent, and I thought it was one of those scams.

They're like, hey, your name was just, you know, do you have anything to do with Texas?

Because your name is here with you've got drugs in this box and a gun.

I thought it was somebody bullshitting me.

You know, I thought it was like one of the, so I went along with it, playing around.

Like, I was saying, like, oh, did I order a gun too?

Yeah.

You know, there was already drugs in there.

He was like, sir, this is such and such.

And we're talking about, I'm calling about some plates.

And I was like, and I was just like, what, is there cocaine in those plates?

I didn't say that to him.

I was like, and I didn't get it at first.

It took me a second to realize.

I was like, oh, shit, that's right.

Because it had been so long since I ordered the plates.

It had been months.

I was like, he goes, yeah, he goes, your plates have been held for further testing to make sure that

they meet the criteria to be released into America.

Because I guess they're worried about if you wash them or put food on them, if the paint will come come off and maybe give you mercury poisoning or lead poisoning.

Right.

Because they're decorative plates.

They're decorative.

They're not to be eaten off people.

Please, if you do win this plate, don't eat off it.

I don't want anybody to get hurt.

Put it on the wall and look at it.

It looks, Nate, like you enjoy a meal.

So do not put one on this plate.

Because, though, what happened was the guy said, I'm going to put in my notes that I called you and you said these are decorative plates.

These are not going to be used as functional plates.

So hopefully that will get them released to you.

But I don't know.

He said, and they're going to have to do some testing on it.

They fucking know that too.

On the back, it says all sorts of shit.

Yeah, it says a collector's plate, you know, limited edition number.

And

I was going to handwrite on there the number of plates and everything, what number they got.

It was going to, this was going to be like a primo gift,

but I never heard anything.

Nobody ever called me back.

It's been over two years.

There's no way on the planet that these plates weren't destroyed.

So you know, you are in some Chinese restaurant in

Chinatown, New York, right now.

But yep, only 15 plates got through to my house.

The color, look at the color.

You know, it's beautiful.

That's why lead paint works so well.

That's why it pops.

All that phosphorus shit there.

It's glowing.

So that company that made the plates just lost all that money?

Well, I had to go through, I had to go through Alibaba.com and tell them, like, hey, man, I don't think the plates are coming.

It's been seven months.

I can't.

And they wanted me to run through all these hoops.

I'm like, you got to go down, talk to this person.

And I'm like, I'm not going down to the fucking docks.

There's no way that's happening.

I go, just refund my money.

And they said, if I get them, I promise you, you know, I'll do, I'll square up with you.

And they, they wouldn't give me the money back.

I was fighting with them.

Finally, I just went to my credit card company and I was like, look,

I never got the plates.

They were giving me the runaround.

You know, I want to get refunded for the plates.

And the credit card company eventually just refunded the money.

Okay, nice.

But 15 got through.

Sunday Jeff has one.

I have one.

And now somebody, another listener, is going to get one.

Now, me and Q have one.

Yeah.

The guy who designed the vaccine.

I would like to hang that up in my house.

I like that rare.

That's very cool.

Yeah, so this is one of the rarest TSD items in TSD town history.

I think there's one that's be even more rare coming up.

Oh, yeah, coming up.

And but the jewel, the absolute jewel in the Nate 10.

How did I say it again?

The TSD Nate 10 to benefit Nate

eBay Auctions is.

Nate 10 to benefit Nathan?

Yeah, whatever.

Just type in TSD Nate Auctions and you'll find it on eBay.

Is Vinyl Cast

original art from the album?

From the first one.

From the very first album.

Yes.

We have the pencil art that Wayne Jansen digitally painted over, the guy who did the colors for us for that album.

But I have the the original pencil art signed by Q, signed by Bry, signed by me, And we're going to auction that off.

That's the big get in this auction.

That's going to be huge.

Now, I gave my original test pressing for the first vinyl cast.

I gave it to Adam for the Yorkethon.

Okay.

That thing sold for like 400 bucks.

And that's just a test pressing of a record.

So like the original art

suitable for framing.

Yeah.

Oh, yeah.

Maybe even coloring in if you feel like it.

Like it's on crayons or something.

Yeah.

I didn't even, I felt bad signing it.

I was like, oh man, I don't want to ruin this in my signature.

And like I said, there's 10 different auctions.

Like if you can't, you know, you think that you're not going to be in the running for the original art, but you want to support Nate.

There's jerseys, there's hockey jersey, there's a baseball jersey, there's a football jersey, there's some hoodies.

I'll definitely be retweeting a link every day

to our eBay store, which is T-E-S-T-Town General Store on eBay.

So if you're not finding it, you can go there and find it that way.

So, yeah, like you said, if you want to help out, you know, a longtime listener and also, you know, get yourself some cool TSD shit, this is the perfect opportunity.

Yeah.

Help out Nate, get some cool stuff.

It all works out.

It all works out.

I met Barry McLean.

Did you ever meet Barry?

No.

Barry came down here.

I talked to him for a bit.

I think we're going to do a Patreon show together.

Oh, yeah.

A little black exploitation action.

Oh, how's Sunday Jeff going to think about this?

I think Sunday Jeff is pasty enough and white enough that he should understand that I cannot do a black exploitation show with him.

But Barry is fucking revved up.

He reminds me of DMC with his energy level.

Oh, wow.

That is high enough.

He is high energy.

And it was funny, like, because

Barry and his girl came down here, and me and Mary Beth came down to meet him and say hi and stuff.

Gidden was here.

So Barry also is a special needs kid, which I was not aware of.

And he started talking about him and talking about how his girl takes care of him and helps out and shit.

So like Barry starts getting choked up.

Then the girl starts getting choked up.

Then Mary Beth starts getting choked up.

And everyone's like just on the verge of crying.

There's no way you got choked up.

I didn't get choked up.

If I say if you got choked up, yeah, forget about it.

No one's going to believe that shit.

I'm trying to save my rep here.

I look at Giddam and I said, well, I guess it's obvious me and Giddam are soulless because

we're not getting choked up.

Yeah, that's from Barry.

Oh, very cool.

Yeah, he drew a print of the white baron.

Yeah, pretty awesome, man.

Thank you.

We got some Barry artwork on the walls.

Barry artwork.

Yeah, yeah.

I love him.

He's a great guy.

And he's moving to Jersey, he says.

Yeah,

next year, yeah, he's going to be moving back to Jersey down south.

Okay.

Down south, Jersey.

You guys have a name for your podcast yet?

Not yet.

Nope.

And I'm trying to think, too.

I mean, he doesn't come until April, so I'm trying to figure out how we can do it online, but still play the movie.

And that does give you a lot of, like, it's almost like, you know,

you could cover any movie then.

Yes.

No matter how, like, scandalous or like egregious.

Pass.

Although, I gotta tell you, like,

he's he's not shy with the use of that word.

Well, maybe, yeah, just see if you can make sure, like, I get, I get a viewing of it so I can, I can make some edits if I need to.

You might need to.

Because I'm like, who am I to dissuade a black guy from using whatever, like, using the free expression, his vocabulary?

That's not up for me to say no.

You can do it in post.

Yeah, but

what do I do if I get hacked?

Like he texts me, and sometimes he texts me the n-word.

And if somebody like sees that,

I get hacked, and then they're like, oh, Josh.

As long as you didn't use it,

you'll be fine.

What's the picture of coming back at him with like honky and shit like that?

That's fine.

Knock him out of his ass.

And yet, think you got the panel.

It's not a company.

You've got that word, bro.

Oh, okay.

Just watch the movie, right?

Yeah.

speaking of watching movies uh back to the future on broadway we meant we didn't get your review

i have to come in with my tail between my legs and tell you that i was wrong q that was one of the best plays i've ever seen in my life isn't it fun man it was really well done and that yeah you were right man the they didn't like try to water down the mom on son action oh they made it sexier yeah yeah i was like i hope they

consummate this relationship and have it, boy.

But no Libyans.

No Libyans.

Damn.

But you didn't miss it, right?

You didn't miss it.

You were right.

Yeah.

They didn't need terrorists.

They didn't need terrorists.

And I didn't think it was possible.

You don't miss it?

You don't miss Einstein?

I did miss the dog.

Did you?

Yeah.

Yeah.

Oh, okay.

I didn't miss the dog.

I love the dog.

Didn't miss the dog.

And how great was the end when it travels back, when it hits the courthouse?

You don't even know what you're seeing.

You're like, this is unbelievable.

It was a feast for the eyes.

It was well worth the exorbitant seat prices that I paid to see it.

It's pretty expensive, but they really do put on

an amazing show with special effects that I've never seen before.

That's a great way to put it.

I've never seen anything like that before.

They pulled it off.

A 10.

I agree.

I'll give it a 10.

I mean, I thought the cast was great.

How great was Doc?

I mean, what did I tell you?

Like, he didn't do a Christopher Lloyd thing.

He did his own thing, and it fucking worked.

I didn't think anything could beat Spider-Man Turn Off the Dark.

I was wrong.

Back to the Future did it.

Are you a Marty McFly guy now?

I went.

He was in an orange vest.

I got my vest.

I got my white and red Nikes.

I'm prancing around.

I'm prancing around town.

That's how he was dressed on his way to Canada.

He's been whistling the power a lot.

Stopped by to see my mom.

I was like,

check this out, mom.

Did you go with Frank Five?

No, he went, he saw it as well.

He adored it as well.

The only thing I thought was weird that he said he goes, too many songs.

I was like, what the fuck did you mean?

It's a musical, right?

It's a musical.

Of course, it's going to be songs.

I actually kind of like, if I had one note, it would be like, I would prefer a couple more scenes and maybe two less songs.

So I think I agree with him.

You know, I wanted more songs.

But I fucking, the songs were good.

Every one of Doc's songs was a fucking banger, man.

It was great.

Dude, I'm so glad you liked it.

$10.

I'm really happy.

$10.

I could have gone, too.

Yeah.

But my knee was all fucked up.

Yeah, I had a ticket for you.

I was going to go with Q.

How many times did you go, Q?

Twice now.

Twice.

Twice.

Yeah.

You go a third time.

I'd go a third time.

I'm careful if I'm crippled.

I'll fucking hellevac you.

Why don't we make it a thing?

Yeah.

Yeah, let's go.

I'll go.

I fucking loved it.

I had so much fun with that.

You get free tickets?

No.

There are no free tickets on Broadway.

I was going to say, if you do go a third time, you need a free ticket.

I'll go again.

You can't really get free tickets on Broadway.

No, I think.

Not even for BQ.

Not least of all BQ.

Well, what if BQ paid?

That's still kind of free.

Yeah.

He's treating, yeah.

Give me a call.

Well, we're outside the theater.

He has a lot of money in his wallet.

Get up here.

I got to read about, I mean, I got to.

Glad to.

Want to.

Wanna.

Can't wait to read about Miundis.

Ah, Miundis.

Have you ever used your underwear to to be mood setters?

I feel like Q has.

Like, he's worn some boxers in with some hearts on them when he's about to make love to a lady.

Maybe in your younger days.

No, even now, if I know that somebody's going to be

seeing somebody trying to choose some appropriate underwear, you know, you don't want to wear the bedraggled

old things in front of the gals.

I used to have a pair of camouflage boxers that I would wear if I thought I was going to get in trouble that day because I felt that they would help me out.

You thought they were lucky?

Wait.

Or you were hiding.

No, like,

you know, when you come to work tomorrow, we got to have a meeting.

I put my camouflage boxers on.

What's this I heard about you?

You're buying

secondhand Haynes online?

Are you really?

I bought some new, I thought I thought I bought new underwear from Amazon, and they all had to go.

Why are you not buying me on these?

Because I needed them right away.

Oh, boy.

Uh-oh.

Emergency?

Yeah.

Oh, boy.

So you got to.

Well,

what, you're busting out of your old ones?

It was a laundry accident.

Like, they started ripping badly.

Oh, I thought you shit yourself.

No, no, no, no, no.

You're blowing out the seams.

So I said, let me just get a six-pack real quick.

Let me just get a six-pack real quick.

And I got him in all.

I got underwear for once.

And they all had X's.

A six-pack and natty, too.

Drink myself into oblivion and forget about my underpants.

Yeah, so I bought them and

I wore them a couple days and I looked at the back of one of them and had a big X on it.

And I'm like, what the hell is this X for?

Yeah.

How do you know that, Q?

He's on Twitter.

You put him on Twitter.

Oh, because I'm trying to get a X.

I can't wait to boast about it.

Because I want to know from Fruit of Loom why they have X's on them.

Like, are they going to...

Yes.

And they said, oh, get back to us, send us your address and everything, and we'll get on top of this.

And then I didn't hear anything, and now I'm outside of the return window for Amazon.

So I'm kind of stuck with them.

I'm stuck with them.

Big deal, though.

What do you care if it's got an X?

I don't know what the X means.

Who cares?

Do they fit?

I don't know if they're supposed to.

Do they feel good?

I don't know if they're supposed to.

They can't because they're not Miundis.

You had a terrible experience with a non-Miundi's company.

Yeah, and I think for my author going with Miyundi.

We're going to get you set up.

I'm going to talk to Mary Beth.

We're going to get you set up.

Oh, okay.

Just talk to her about me real quick.

I'll talk to her about you, too.

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What's going on guys?

I was going to say, they got a lot of license, license, a lot of licensed.

They do, right?

Yeah.

Yeah.

They're spending some money.

They're like the

Funko.

Yeah, the Funko Pop-Off.

Yeah, underwear.

To enjoy a 25% discount on your first order and free standard shipping, head over to meundis.com/slash T-E-S-D.

And here's the promise.

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So why wait?

Get 25% off your first order at meundies.com/slash T-E-S-D.

That's meundis.com/slash T-E-S-D.

So, get him.

How are you outside the return window if you needed them in an emergency?

Because

I

started wearing them.

I noticed the X.

So I tweeted

fruit of the womb.

Yeah.

And they said, okay, we'll get back to you.

I waited like a week or so.

And then I started.

In the return window, like 60 days.

No, it was like 30 days.

It was 30 days.

Yeah.

So by the time I noticed it.

You're still up for 30 days being like, hmm, X.

Well,

the first time I noticed it was a weekend, so I texted him, and they said,

send us a DM with your address and contact information.

And then like two weeks later, yeah.

I got it.

Yeah.

Thank you.

All right.

And that's the story of Giddam's underpants, everyone.

Nice.

Yeah.

What else do I got here?

Not much.

We've got to get on to another episode, don't we, Walt?

Oh, you don't want to do your game?

I thought we'd save it for next episode.

Okay, yeah, okay, yeah, because it's already an hour and six minutes in.

What else did I want to talk about to these guys?

If you're not on Patreon, oh, you're going to be sad.

You're going to want to hear this next episode.

Just sign up, five bucks.

Come on, what's the matter with you?

Mary Beth got a text the other day at five in the morning.

Nothing ever good comes through on a text at five in the morning.

And you couldn't be more right because it was a notification from her new cat, the new cat litter box that Salem took a shit.

This litter box, man, it's like.

That's the smartest litter box in the history of the world.

It is.

Is there anything not connected to Wi-Fi anymore?

It's nuts.

It's just the one that cleans itself, like rotates.

Yeah, yeah.

Yeah, that's right.

You got one of them?

I had one.

I didn't like it.

I gave it to my brother.

Oh, did you?

Yeah, she had one that was, it worked pretty well.

We had it for years.

And it was too heavy and too much.

So she got the roller one.

And yeah, it can send you notifications

and tells you what.

The cat went to the bathroom.

This is so big.

I was like, I don't want this in the house.

Yeah, it is pretty big.

Can you fool it, though, like if you dropped maybe a piece of play-doh?

You're like, you're a juice in it.

Figure this one out, Mary Beth.

But let's say you just dropped a play-doh, like in the shape of

a cat turd.

Would the machine be able to tell a difference?

I don't think it could tell.

It would clean it, but I don't think it would like, it wouldn't send you a message saying Salem went into the bathroom at five in the morning.

It wouldn't send a message.

I don't think it would send a message.

Why do you think so?

Because the weight of the cat isn't on it.

So, like, if you just throw something in there, maybe I'll do a test at home.

I'll check it out.

I'll get some Play-Doh.

I was going to say, because that gave me hope.

I was like, you know, I always like, oh, the machines are going to take over.

They're not.

They might not.

They're not going to take over.

That's why Skynet won't take over because his litter box doesn't recognize Play-Doh

from fucking cat feces.

Oh, also, Maxwell is doing some.

you'll have to go check out maxwell classic on twitter he's doing some kind of drag show now i don't know about guys who dress up like women unless you're doing the golden girls yeah it seems okay

that that's just yeah yeah yeah so maxwell's going to do a drag thing i think it's part of his wrestling deal oh yeah yeah i i think he's going to do that and uh when i brought it up it turns out that walt would also be willing to go and drag to help out frank five if he thought that mary was uh

go on the cover we were Were we watching an episode of Love Boat where two guys dressed up as girls on a woman's only cruise?

On a woman's only cruise, so they could watch one of the guys' wife's make sure she wasn't like fooling around.

I don't know why she'd be fooling around on

an all-women cruise.

Oh, let's hope so.

She was on Kevin Stewing's arm.

Yeah.

Yeah.

So, and again, I said, if Frank was like, hey, Mary's going on an all-female cruise and I need to keep an eye on her.

Yeah.

Will you go with me

dressed as a woman?

I was like, I absolutely would.

I would love to see if I could pull that off.

I got to say, out of all of us in the Golden Girls thing, you look the best as a girl.

Oh, yeah.

Yeah, I think so.

I'll take it.

I might give you a second look.

I'm walking down the street.

Hello, honey.

You an earner.

You forgot to tell Q that we went to go see some wrestling.

Yeah, micro-wrestling.

Oh, that's right.

Oh, whoa, whoa, whoa.

Why?

You didn't lead with this?

Oh, that's right.

We did.

I forgot about the wrestling.

It's not just any wrestling queue.

It's the micro wrestling.

It was the micro wrestling.

Because he's working on the show.

Because Brian Michelle, the old show, the showrunner, former showrunner for Tell him Steve D, or Tell him Steve Men for Comic Book Men, is the showrunner for the Micro Wrestling League, which is a bunch of

guys and gals, little people.

Little people?

Who I found to be pretty entertaining.

Yeah.

I like Psycho.

He's my favorite.

I'm a Psycho guy.

They got a show on Discovery Channel.

Yes.

And I think it's coming out in September or November.

I thought he said January, February.

Oh, okay.

He's probably right.

So they were wrestling around here?

Neptune, New Jersey.

Neptune, Neptune.

At a bar, right?

So me, Walt, get a little bit of a bunch of people.

Okay.

Yeah.

It was an outdoor bar.

And, you know, they have like, you've been to the Stone Pony, so you know how they have that outdoor area with the stage.

Yeah.

That's kind of what it was like.

And it was like, there were a couple bars surrounding it.

There were, I mean, am I exaggerating when I say there were probably 500 people there?

Oh, easily.

It was packed.

I mean, it was packed.

And Michelle told Walt that they did not see the audience.

Anybody who was there wanted to be there.

It's not like, hey, we're having a be on TV type thing.

It was like anyone who was there.

And the crowd, didn't you think the crowd was strange that it was a lot of like ladies?

like older women like our age that were like dressed up in like wrestling masks and yeah they bought them there yeah they bought them there like the luchador masks and like the fake dreadlocks and the no sense of PC there.

Like the people went crazy for the Star Spangled Banner, the national anthem.

They went nuts.

And then

they sell hats with Rasta hair.

That was the one guy shtick.

That was the one guy shtick.

And what was the other thing they sold that I was like, damn, I can't believe that they're.

Was it the Chief?

Anything Chief Littlefoot?

Yeah, yeah, they had the headdresses.

Yeah, there were like women wearing headdresses because of Chief Littlefoot.

Yeah, professional wrestling.

They're kind of.

It seems like, yeah, like anything goes.

Yeah, they're doing that shit.

That's awesome.

I tell you, I was impressed with the conditioning of these wrestlers.

They were wrestling outside.

It was hot as fuck.

It was really hot and humid.

And they just keep going and going and going.

The matches last for at least a half hour.

Wow.

When was this?

It was around 7 o'clock at night.

A couple of weeks ago.

In July.

Wow.

So they really got to be

conditioned to keep going.

They just keep flipping and diving and jumping and slamming.

Taking hits, going through tables.

Oh, yeah.

No tables.

No, no tables.

One of my notes is one of the little, one of the

black little guys stole a headdress from Chief Littlefoot and put it on, and he's like dancing around.

Oh, disrespect.

There's women.

Yeah, big disrespect.

There's women in the audience war whooping like,

oh, that shit.

Oh, shit.

They did not care.

And like, you could tell that they were actually fans because they knew the chance.

Right.

There were chants like for moves, and they just started out of nowhere.

Oh, it's great, man.

What was it, Twist His Dick?

Twist his dick.

There's a lot of potential dick injuries.

Like, people, the crowd really likes when

you go for the groin area.

Sure, man.

Why, though?

I don't understand.

Great mystery, but

when in doubt.

Yeah, there were two chants.

It was you suck dick.

That's when me and you looked at each other.

We were like, is this for real?

And then then they started yelling twist his dick they wanted him to twist his dick off

and then there was um micro jackson which is the little person michael jackson impersonator uh he was also a ref for the last match and one of the wrestlers uh attacked him so he attacked him back and just you know

no he kicked him right in the crush oh yeah yeah he went down well it's just when you when you're not winning the match walton you gotta you gotta crawl your way to that hole a fucking nice ball chop really helps right between the legs bring the arm up.

And I'm not surprised that Walt got stopped at the border because as long as I've known the man, he refuses to carry ID with him.

He just like, you know, it's like, the only people I know who refuse to carry ID are fucking felons because they don't want the cops to know who they are.

It's the only other people I know who don't have ID at the ready.

And he's like, oh, shit, I hope I have mine.

Meanwhile, we're fucking 45 minutes from home.

So if he doesn't have it, we got to turn around and go back.

But you knew Nichelle was there, right?

No,

he couldn't pull any weight.

No, she was there, but he couldn't pull any weight.

His family had to leave because his son didn't have ID.

Yeah.

Well, the son wasn't old enough.

Well, the son wasn't old enough, yeah.

Like, and his daughter, I think, yeah, and their friend.

Yeah, they were all under 20.

There was no way that they're going to take a risk of losing their liquor license so that I could sit

ringside.

Did you sit ringside?

Yeah.

Oh, how great was that?

Oh, fuck.

Why would you guys call me?

It was.

Where was I?

I don't know.

I think those.

I think you're on the side of the highway.

Yeah, you'll figure it out.

It almost felt like they were going to come right into us.

Yeah, ringside is the best, dude.

How about how loud that ring is when they hit it?

Yeah.

Oh, yeah.

There were a lot of people that, like, that was the best part about sitting ringside was we didn't have to stand in the crowd because that would have not been fun.

It was hot as fuck.

And the weird thing, too, like,

me and Walt were like, hey, let's get a slice.

But you can't just get a slice.

You got to buy an entire pie.

Oh, really?

It's like, yeah.

I don't get it.

They had their own pizzas ovens.

Yeah, they want, you know, sit ringside with an attack with a giant pizza on our lap.

Yeah,

I didn't quite get it.

I did also, like, be honest, at a certain point when we were coming home, did you think Walt was falling asleep at the wheel?

No, no, no.

Because when we were on Leonardville Road, like, you know, we went around by Julian's bait shop.

There was a moment where Walt's driving, and I'm like, I think we're going to hit the other side of the road.

He was drifting so far over.

I'm like,

I didn't want to say something, and get him's not saying anything.

Get him doesn't keep his mouth shut.

I've driven with him long enough.

I'm just used to his driving by now, and I've accepted my fate.

If it happens, it happens.

Yeah, yeah.

Yeah, it really made me like, hmm, I wonder if he's okay.

The only complaint I had about micro-wrestling was Tiny.

What was his name?

Which one?

The guy was constantly in front of me.

Oh,

Ozzy Osborne guy?

Yeah, Minnie Ozzy Osborne.

Minnie Ozzie Osborne, yeah.

He was standing right in front of me, and like every time I thought I had the pattern of how he was moving, he switched.

So he's constantly blocking away.

Is he a little guy?

Yeah.

But we were sitting down, so he was like eye-level with our guy.

He wasn't like a real small guy.

He was kind of like an average.

Yeah, and he was doing the ring announcing, which was bad because the speakers there were so horrible you couldn't hear what he was saying.

You couldn't hear shit.

He may as well not have even said anything.

He couldn't hear anything.

Shit, this is funny.

But I had fun.

The second wrestling event I went to.

First one was with you.

That was WWE in Philadelphia.

And the second one was micro wrestling.

So, how did it feel when you saw Nichelle paling around?

I didn't like it.

You know, he was doing the same things he used to do with us.

Working through the show.

You know, like

pumping them up and shoulder rubs.

Talking them up and so excited.

And then it's like, oh, that's my old bitches over there.

Yeah.

We're lucky they're sitting ringside.

They're only ringside because my family didn't show up.

Otherwise, they'd be there with the rest of the schmucks.

It was kind of tough to to watch, you know, as he has moved on from us big time.

Yeah,

well, not big time enough that we don't text him constantly and go and hang out with him and shit.

And he's on Patreon.

But still, there was that feeling of like you felt like the old girlfriend.

Yeah.

You know, like, oh, he moved on.

Old model.

Yeah.

And he's moved on.

Jesus.

He's with 2.0 now.

He doesn't give a fuck about us.

Fuck you, Nichelle.

Whoa.

Tell him, Steve, Dave.