#565: TESD’s Life of Bryan

He wants to be able to be to pwn the internet when they're saying, like, get him your fucking breathing too loud on TSD.

That's why he's on.

For the size of the cup they give me, I was like, never again.

I'm only doing nip slips, or I'm only doing see-through.

The next thing you know, they're like,

you know, like

Tellum Steve Dave.

Hello, and welcome to this week's edition of Tell him Steve Dave.

I'm here with the wild, woolly, and wonderful Walt Flanagan.

Hello.

Blowing his hair out.

Looking like a hippie.

Here with BQ.

Hello.

Not looking so hippyish, but tired, sure.

Been pumping iron.

Yeah, pumping a little iron, man.

Getting back into fighting shape.

Do you have a goal in mind?

Like, weight-wise or muscle-wise?

No, not really.

I just got to,

it's been a, you know, I took a few months off.

of caring about anything.

All right.

And, you know, now it's, of course, pool season.

So the results of that are laid bare.

Right.

Your neighbor started a petition.

Yeah, I'm starting to get complaints from nearby helicopter pilots.

Is there such a thing as too many muscles?

Would there be a point where you or somebody else might be like, you know what?

You're good.

You don't need to keep gaining more muscle.

Like, you know, you get to that point where you're like, you can't put your arms down fully to your side.

Have you seen Ethan Souplay?

Come down.

Oh, shit.

Dude.

Yeah.

Ethan is like muscle.

It doesn't even look like him anymore.

Like, gone from a basically a blob to like

this guy.

You're explaining.

Yeah, can't lower his arm.

Like, he's massive.

And

your neck is like...

Like traps are all like that.

Could you get that big?

I don't think there's any danger of that.

No, but

would you want to be like that?

I would not want to keep up that lifestyle.

It's a wear and tear on you, right?

On your skeletal system.

I don't think that for me to do that, I would have any fun.

Like, I don't think I would enjoy it.

Even the payoff, I would.

But you men, you'd be taking that shirt off fucking left and right, right?

Because

you're working so hard on it.

Yeah.

Every show he did.

Yeah.

He'd be like Bert Kreischer.

Yeah, he'd be like Bert.

Because what's the point then?

Right?

Yeah.

If you're going to put all that work in, you got to get that shirt off.

You have to.

At every hour.

Go to the beach, go wherever you got to go to do it.

Right.

Yeah.

Although, like, for me, it's like, I'm sure at my age and what I'm coming from, like, it would have all like stretch marks and saggy skin.

That's the problem.

Yeah.

I was talking about that yesterday, Sunday, Jeff.

How, like, when I got into my peak physical shape back when I was engaged and shit, and I'm like, I think I'm going to get a mommy makeover.

I think I'm going to get a tummy tuck.

And it was 12 grand and COVID hit.

And so it combined to make it.

And then I got fat again.

So I'm glad I needed to spend the money.

It turned out I needed all that skin.

Couldn't you go south of the border and maybe get a better price?

Maybe, yeah.

I mean, Maxwell went to south of the border, got all his teeth done.

Did he?

Yeah.

And

very inexpensive.

Well, 18 grand, but inexpensive compared to what it would have been here.

And he got to hang out in El Capoca for two.

You know what?

No.

To answer your question, no, I would not.

What about,

let's say you did somebody who does lose a lot of weight.

Could they cover it up with those marks with tattoos?

I don't know.

I don't know.

That's a good question.

I would just say the stretch marks were tattoos.

I wonder if.

I wonder if

you covered yourself up with a lot of ink.

I wonder if it would show up.

It's got to help camouflage.

Yeah.

For sure.

Yeah, show Walt that.

This is Ethan before and after.

And then just.

Yeah, that's impressive.

But I'm talking even bigger than that, though.

I'm talking like.

Yeah, Ethan.

I mean, it would be worth talking about if I did that.

that is, that's working out right every day.

Well, that's what happened to Piscapo.

He got consumed with working out and he didn't care about being funny as much.

So he sort of like

faltered.

There is, you know, on Always Sonny Mac did it really well.

Oh, my God.

He was fucking huge.

I mean, he did it for the comedy, man.

He put on 50 pounds and then got jacked.

It was pretty funny.

Yeah, he did a whole season like fat.

That's all he did was eat and hang out and do nothing.

He gave himself like diabetes.

Yeah.

But I have to, it must be said, office looks great, guys.

Office looks great.

I was thinking the same thing, and I almost didn't want to mention it because I'm like, it looks so nice.

They did so, what a job.

It was nice and cold.

My T Steetown

Airport Plaza shirt just to show that I love him.

I went home and I was talking to Mary Beth about him.

I'm like, I wish we never said anything.

I feel so bad.

I felt so bad after.

I wanted to hold him and rock him.

I don't even care where the extension cord is anymore.

I just want that to be okay.

Where's that extension cord I love so much?

It's not the same office anymore.

What was that?

The garbage can is empty.

No dust.

Get him.

No wonder you don't want to.

You're too tired to talk.

That's why you don't want to read it.

I don't know why he's off Mike.

I could read him like a fucking pawn.

Oh, yeah.

Because his dad was here?

No.

Because he wants to be able to pwn the internet when they're saying like, get him, you're fucking breathing too loud on TSD.

That's why he's not on, because he wants to be able to say, I wasn't on mic the entire episode.

I enjoy how he's going to.

Point the finger somewhere else.

I enjoy how he's pwning people.

Am I right?

By not doing something he shouldn't be doing.

You're saying it's not you, get him.

All right.

Possibly.

Possibly.

It's you or Cooper.

You or Cooper, one of the two.

So how long did it take to whip the office into the beautiful shape that it's in right now?

I don't think it took much at all.

No, okay.

Yeah.

Wow.

Damn.

It's a real difference.

It's looking great.

It is looking great.

I need to admit it, but it's looking great.

Looks great, guys.

Maybe we could paint a window on the wall, you know?

I was thinking getting a dog.

See, now he's not on mic.

Now you got to shut the fuck up.

No one cares.

No, nobody cares.

He ain't getting shit.

Q.

Now, Q sort sort of like misled us.

Well, he made us think that it was him and Brett Michaels and they were best buddies and they're hanging out and it's just those two.

And then I see the pictures and it's like every joker in existence is on stage with them.

What was with that?

Well, Sal and Gatto were in Pittsburgh.

Oh, so they just happened to be there because Steve Byrne lives in Pittsburgh.

They were there for a charity event.

Okay.

And then their flight to come home, they were supposed to come.

Anyway, the flight got delayed.

They ended up being able to go to the show in Pittsburgh.

So then

me me and Murray made the one in PNC.

Yeah.

Oh, that's where you were in PNC.

Me and Murray were in the city.

That's where I thought you were.

I thought that's where you were going.

I almost didn't make it.

My flight,

I was supposed to land at Newark at 3 p.m.

coming from

the wedding, and it was

flight got delayed so much, basically was just land and run to the

venue type thing.

I almost didn't go.

Really?

I was like, fucking man, I've been sitting in the airport for five hours.

Like, I don't want to go.

I don't want to go.

You just lifted some weights.

Yeah, and I was like, I don't.

And then, and then, you know, that's Brett Michaels, man.

You can't let him down.

I don't want to be the guy that lets him down.

He's too nice.

He's too positive.

Is he nice?

Oh, my God, dude.

Yeah.

He's like, like, one of those guys that you're like,

how is he even a person this nice?

Is it easy to be nice when things have got, like, you got the looks, you got the talent, you got the career, you got the money.

Well, he didn't.

You got it all.

It wasn't always.

Didn't he have a brain surgery?

He had a brain surgery.

He's had some health issues over the years and he's like severely diabetic.

So he's always got

a perfect existence.

All right.

Well, happy to hear that.

But I will tell you this, man.

The Jersey crowd.

Love them?

Love them, man.

Their PNC was rocking.

It was pretty good.

So

the perfect crowd that I picture in my mind would be

40.

It's 40,000

40-year-old women just going crazy.

They're reverting back to their 20-year-old selves.

Not that many.

I mean, the PNC doesn't hold 40,000, but

yeah, it was full.

It was packed.

The lawn seats were packed, and it was that.

That was a big, that was a, that was the, they were the,

they were the band that I think a lot of girls like because they weren't dangerous.

They were all cute.

Right.

Well, they all looked like other girls.

So, yeah, they see you see.

I don't know, man.

They were, they were, they, they were, had a little scuzz to them, too.

They weren't like clean cut.

Am I wrong?

Back in the day?

Yeah, like a little scuzz.

Oh, they were pretty as hell dude no no no i know that but like they they they they got up to shenanigans and stuff like that

what do you mean what kind of shenanigans you know like some of the songs are about

oh yeah that of course i mean talk dirty to me and every time you know but a good time yeah and uh yeah they they got up to you know uh they had a they had a few band breakups here and there some fighting and stuff so you know but i mean it it it was this it was

it was it wasn't it was handsome metal yeah Yeah.

Yeah, I'll give you it wasn't like Motley Crew, but you know, they had edge to them.

It's not like motorhead, I would say.

Like even Motley Crew.

But they got out that the women, though, the women came out to see them as opposed to like Metallica.

You know, most chicks were not like,

were not like running

to go see Metallica as often as they were.

They wanted to go see Prisoner.

Probably.

To go see Warren.

Anybody that looked like a real handsome

dude leading the winger.

He's a beautiful man.

You can say you think Metallica is not handsome enough.

Who's the handsomest guy in Metallica at the time?

Oh, I think Hetfield.

I know you've got a crush on Hetfield, I know.

He's got the best voice in probably in metal, in my opinion.

He is.

Although he does it.

A little too much for my taste.

You like that, huh?

I like that one.

Every fucking five seconds, it's like,

that's the best part, man.

But there's no

in the song.

I'm like, what's going on?

I'm fast forward to this shit.

I have no notes on Metallica, man.

No, it's great.

No, not one, not one thing or you could be, not one thing you could be like, I just wish they had done this.

You've heard Saint Anger, right?

I love Saint Anger.

Of course, I love Saint Anger.

All the obscure shit.

Nobody else likes it.

I really like Saint Anger.

You must run in the family, you and your daughter.

Yeah, I mean, I don't think, look, there's even Tom Petty, like my favorite of all time.

There's some albums that I listen to more than others, but I still adore those albums.

I wasn't a big fan of Hardwired, though.

Hardwired, even the black album, it got so overplayed.

It got over off.

It got over.

Black album is one of the best albums ever.

I agree.

Says a poser.

I am a poser.

All is the best metallic.

I'm not here to argue this.

I like the softer Justice for All I like better.

But Justice for All is pretty good, too.

Yeah.

No, I'm down on Ride the Lightning.

I'm with you.

I'm with you.

Those early albums are great, but people ride the black album down, and I'm like, they shouldn't.

It's just too great.

It's perfect.

I don't think it's fancy.

I think it's overplayed to the point where, like, said but true, I'm not listening to.

I'm just like, I'm skipping.

Oh, I love it.

It's too much.

Too many times.

Maybe Enter Sandman, I feel about it.

Because it was also Mariano's

entrance theme, so I heard it.

Yeah,

all right.

I got to admit, I got to admit with you, Brian.

That song is fucking played out.

If I never hear Enter Sandman again, I'm pretty good.

I'll be okay.

I'll be able to muster on.

All right.

Yeah.

Like, ban it from your set list.

And maybe I'll go see you.

You should obsessively tweet them.

They're coming.

They're going to be here soon.

Are they?

Yeah,

they're playing.

No, no.

Come on.

They're an arena.

They're their stadium act.

Yeah, I think they're a giant stadium, yeah.

It's going to be great.

And you didn't get to, hey, you know what?

This might be a good moment.

Let's knock this out.

You didn't get to bring your American musical guitar with you.

It turned out it was just like too much.

It was too much in the planning.

You were ready.

Well, the problem is

we say things on the show, and then I forget about them the second we walk away.

And then I'm getting emails about the guitar, and I'm literally like, I'm not upset.

I'm literally like, guys, I don't know what we're talking about here.

But the email comes, and it's full, chock full of information.

Oh,

I don't know anything about this.

What happened?

Yes, I I remember

you were going to bring the guitar on stage with you, right?

Yeah, and then

just these emails started coming in that were like very official.

From who?

American Musical.

Yeah, and they're great.

I'm not saying anything about them, but like I'm sure they were excited and they were trying to make it happen.

But I didn't know what anybody was talking about because I forgot what I had said.

And then, you know, but then, and they're right, they're not wrong to do it, but they're like, hey, we want to get in there.

We want to take some pictures of you with the guitar and stuff like that.

And once we got into that, I was like, look, man, it's not my show.

I can't, you know,

I can't call up Brett and be like, hey, man, is there

can I bring a camera crew and stuff?

You know what I mean?

I'm like, I just can't do it.

I don't know.

So I was like, I was like, look, I don't want to, if they start, if they started making it, he actually emailed that back.

Well, because I don't want to be a dick to him because they were trying to do a nice thing for us.

Yeah, I think there was just like they heard it, they got real excited, understandably, and were like, we'll make this happen by the 15th.

And I don't think they told Mary Beth, though.

Like, because she never mentioned it when I said, hey, you know, American Musical is really excited about this, but I think Q doesn't, he feels he doesn't have the juice to

get this.

It's camera crew and all these people.

Right.

I could bring the guitar in with me.

Right.

He's never going to stop me from doing that.

But, like, yeah, I don't really want to.

I mean, look, also, he would say, yes, there would be no issues doing it.

But, like, I just don't want to do it.

I don't want to handle it.

You know what I mean?

Oh, yeah, yeah.

It's a good guitar, too, Gibson SG.

Really?

Did they send it?

They didn't send it yet.

I saw a picture of the pre-painted guitar, and they're painting it right now.

now.

So it wouldn't have been ready for you anyway.

Look, if they send it, I'll use it in something.

Yeah?

Yeah.

It won't go to waste.

We'll do something.

I mean, it was very sweet of them.

I don't want to.

Oh, they're great.

Yeah, I don't want to at all make it seem like they're being a pain in the ass or anything.

It was just me.

It can't be a pain in the ass.

Well, it can be.

Walt.

Not my

termites, though.

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I think I'm going to start taking classical guitar lessons again.

I saw

down in the America, the Atlantic Highlands bagel store, and there's just a picture of some guy, and he's like, Hey, I give classical guitar lessons.

And I was like, I have zero hobbies.

I remember you asking me not too long ago, you're like, what are your fucking hobbies?

And it's like, it can't just be power washing.

It has to be more than that.

So I was like, you know what?

I'll pick up the guitar again and see if I can

go.

It's only been 30 years.

It should come right back to me right away.

Yeah.

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That's not bad.

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Pretty fucking sweet.

So

Q and I used to go to Chili's all the time.

Yeah.

All the time.

And they had these free chips.

That was part of it.

He wasn't the fucking player that he is today.

Me neither.

And so we would go there, cheap chips, cheap lunch, all that stuff.

I like their chips, too.

Their chips are great.

Thin, crispy.

So Mary Beth and I go.

I like their soup and salad.

We'll go there like maybe once a week or so.

So the other day we went and I

got a soup to go as I normally do because it's bottomless soup.

So I'll be like, hey, can I get another soup?

And then put it into the thing.

And this is the same place that we used to go where they know you.

Right over in Holville.

Yep.

Yes.

These waitresses are not unfamiliar with me.

So the first time, it's a girl named Ashley and she puts a soup in a thing, and I'm like, all right, you know, because I like, I love the soup, so I'm going to bring her home and eat it.

A couple more times, she's like, yeah, go ahead.

Here you go.

Now, is this something that isn't presented to all customers?

Like, you can endless soup and you can even take it home.

Endless soup is for all customers.

Taking an extra bowl home, not for all customers.

Maybe for preferred customers who tip well.

Okay.

So the other day, we get a waitress, and I pull the same deal.

You know, I'm like, hey, can I do this?

And she's like, oh, yeah, sure, sure.

After she does it, I'm like, I can't believe this is fucking great, man.

Free soup to go home.

She goes, it's not free.

And I'm like, what do you mean?

Because she always pays the bill.

I never pay the bill.

She always uses that little thing on the

Mary Beth.

Okay.

Yeah.

I've made Ashley.

No, no, I wish.

Really, might have been so.

Free soup.

She pays for my lunch.

What do I have on her?

So she goes, no, she charged you.

And I go, what?

She charged me.

Wow.

And she goes, they always charge you.

I was blown away.

I couldn't believe she betrayed me on that level.

I go, they charge me every single time.

She goes, it's just that getting the free soup, it seemed to make you so happy.

Why would she reveal it?

Why would she reveal it?

Why would she use that opportunity?

Accidentally, well, maybe accidentally, I don't know, told me that it was $6 a bowl today.

And I was like, are you fucking kidding me for the size of the cup they give me?

I was like, never again.

I almost fucking had to strike chilies from my list of restaurants.

But then I was like, you know what?

Now I'm the wise.

So you felt my charm and my extra tipping was carrying me.

Not at all.

You throttle back that tipping?

Oh, you better believe it.

Yeah.

You know?

Yeah.

So they charge you for the initial soup?

They charge you for the initial soup.

And then another full soup purchase.

Then another full soup purchase, which is not even as much soup as you get in that bowl.

Wow, that is low, man.

Right?

Yeah.

Times are tough, though.

For chilies?

For all, Reed, for all, you know, eating establishments.

It's not easy to do.

I'm sorry.

Are you worrying about Chili's income more than mine?

Fuck Chili's.

They can afford to give me a free bowl, even if it was once in a while.

But like every time,

they led me to believe.

All these women, they're all lying to me, leading me to believe I'm getting free soup, and it's not the case at all.

Well, did they ever tell you you were getting free soup?

No, they did not.

The waitresses did.

But although Mary Beth did lead me to believe that the soup was free.

Well, that's she was doing to make you happy.

Right.

Yeah.

Or make herself happy and not have to hear about it.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

It's all good.

Actually, they comped the whole dinner.

Yeah.

Wait a second.

We haven't paid a dime since we've been going there all these years.

We're Chili's platinum members.

She should have told me.

But then I was like, I felt so pathetic when I was like, nothing makes me happy.

I'm like, free soup.

It seemed like free soup made me happy.

And then you took it away from me.

So now I'm not happy about anything again.

You know?

Well, why don't you go back?

Yeah.

Okay.

And make a spectacle of myself.

Yes.

No, no, no.

But in a way that they're not expecting.

Right.

You just don't leave until you almost have to be like.

Airlifted out.

Airlifted out because you drank so much bottomless soup.

You're basically almost poisoning yourself.

Right.

He's got a minostrom from your eyes.

There's the MS out front.

They're like, I don't know if he's going to make it.

What happened to him?

Stomach out with inch a lot of soup.

His blood type is chicken noodle.

I couldn't believe it.

I was like, you.

All right.

Sunday, Jeff, and then

glad to hear that.

We're recording some Patreon

content

after this regular edition of TSD.

Okay, great, great.

We're going to be here to the wee hours of the morning.

Yeah.

Yeah.

I got it.

All right.

Sundays.

Just hearing this now.

Sunday's like me.

Yeah.

Like, I've been getting up at like six in the morning.

So, like, when we start at six, I'm like, my brain is already tired.

But we'll do it right Sunday.

Knock it out.

We'll do it.

Yeah.

Fuck yeah.

But that's what I would do.

I would go there and I would make a statement.

You know, like, they'll never forget Brian Johnson.

as he fucking devours every bowl of soup in the place and like depletes them of soup for a week.

Oh, yeah.

Now, nobody has soup except for me.

I'm the happiest motherfucker in town.

Like, why is that guy smiling?

Oh, you know what?

You and Giddam go.

Yeah.

You want to double up on that?

And then you guys get a photo on the wall.

Do not serve these two

ever again.

Like we pass bad checks or something.

Let's kick you chilies.

Giddam.

Me and you.

You guys would run that fucking franchise out.

Fuck yeah.

Because once that chilies is out of soup, I know of another one on Route 18 up there.

That one.

Hey, and it's been known to fucking get in the car and travel to every place that's giving away free food.

He doesn't mind driving, though.

He will go for a hundred-mile radius.

That could be a Patreon video.

I was eating as much soup as possible.

Oh, my God.

This, I got to get your opinion.

I'm pretty sure I know what your opinion is going to be, Walt.

But Q.

Yeah.

So I have a wife, and she

is considering doing a photo shoot with her friend Zia.

I'll give Zia a little shout out.

Zia underscore land.

She does all kinds of streaming, game streaming, that kind of stuff.

But she also has an OnlyFans.

Oh.

All right.

Mary Beth wants to do an OnlyFans set with her.

Like a sexy?

Not only sexy, boob-revealing.

Okay.

And it's not like the first time it was talked about.

How strong is my marriage?

Strong as mine.

Okay.

Okay.

So I'm you.

Yeah.

You're okay.

You're just basically here.

Got it.

Got it.

All right.

Well,

I told her nothing below the belt.

Why?

Showing her.

Why?

What's it?

Her puss.

Then boobs?

No, that just seems so much more intimate.

Tell me why it's different.

I would love to know why it's different.

I can't say for sure.

I just feel like it's different.

Okay.

That's acceptable.

All right.

It's honest.

At least, you know, I'm being honest.

And I don't know why.

It just seems so much more private and intimate.

And to tell you the truth, the way OnlyFans girls go, it'll be a month before she's fucking doing it anyway.

Because they're all like, I'm only doing nip slips or I'm only doing see-through.

The next thing you know, they're like,

you know, like, really?

Wow.

Not Zia.

She doesn't do it, but a lot of the girls go into porn.

Well, I mean, or do pornographic activities.

It is the difference between Playboy and Hustler.

Like somebody was spreading legs and, you know,

the only difference is a couple centimeters.

Centimeters count a lot.

Do they?

So, yeah.

Like, you know.

Plus, she also has this hideous appendectomy scar.

I don't want people seeing because then they'll know that I settled for imperfection.

Oh, yeah.

Yeah.

Well, photoshop that out.

Oh, that's not a bad idea.

Yeah, you don't have to.

Nobody should have to see that.

Photoshop a video.

Oh, no, you're right.

I noticed photos.

No, actually, most of them are photos.

I don't know.

Are they having a pillow fighting video?

What are they doing?

I hope so.

Zee was talking about coming over and using the pool for a set, that kind of stuff, you know, at the house.

Yeah.

The hot tub.

I was like, do a power washing set.

No, but what about

do a carpentry set?

She goes, you're trying to get me to fix up your house.

I don't know, man.

Like, I probably.

Well, you're in the public eye.

I'm not really nearly as in the public eye.

But I'm trying to put myself in your thing.

If there was the age difference

that

if there was that age difference, I think I would be more inclined to do it.

To do it.

Because what is the point of having

a hot young wife?

If you're not going to show her.

If you're not going to,

yeah, possibly.

It's an extension of me.

It has nothing to do with it.

That is so pro-magnum.

It is.

It is so like Fred Flintstone.

Well, it could be worth it.

No, I think real pro-magnum would be like, she's not fucking doing that.

Like, you know, it's like...

Well, on any given day, Fred would be like, would think it's great.

And then

by the end of the episode, he would realize, you know, how he was wrong for pimping out Wilma.

For what?

You know,

to be like,

just because she wants to go into the quarry next day and like walk a little fucking strut a little taller.

Yeah, noise.

Yeah, but I check out OnlyFans.

But then everybody's seen Wilma's tits.

You know what I mean?

Yeah, but I mean is it the biggest deal?

I feel like 99% of the women out there, their boobs are on the fucking internet.

Like you can't fucking go on the internet without seeing boobs.

So like what's one more set?

Yeah, well, what are they doing in the photos?

I think they're going to do like a German beer girl type thing.

Yeah, scat board.

We're getting German with this shit.

It's getting sallow up in here.

Sallow?

Solo?

What's it called to get it?

Well, you have it in your teeth, Mary?

Yeah,

I mean, yeah, I guess I would kind of be.

But it's just wife.

If it was a girlfriend, I wouldn't even have a second thought.

Right.

Something about wife makes me rethink it.

It made me think about that on the other.

What are her parents?

Like, you just, I don't think they care.

They don't.

I don't think they obviously not.

Oh, you mean because she's with her?

She might like.

Like, yeah, I mean, they had to let her go and be like, you know, she knows that she's going to do whatever she wants, whether they want or not.

Right, right.

Yeah, that's true.

So, but what, because,

I mean, you can cut this out if necessary, but I recall back in the day, you and another girl you were dating, you were telling me you you were posting photos online.

Right.

Those were anonymous photos.

Oh, like, didn't have Facebook anymore.

But I remember the big controversy at the time was some of the reaction you got was not positive.

Oh, I told her to expect that.

I was like, people will, I mean, people,

when they go after Zia, they're like, you're going to hell.

You're doing, you know, you're a piece of shit.

You're a slut.

You're this, you're that.

You know, like, there are a certain segment of people who are unhappy about

naked girls on the internet, I guess.

But then...

They probably don't listen to this podcast, though.

I don't think so.

I can't imagine that yeah they seem like real god fearing people i remember your girl at the time having hurt feelings about it because some of the reviews that came in weren't as glowing as you would have liked somebody again uh somebody at the look beneath the belt you know i i posted some pictures beneath the belt and uh the funniest comment by far was i feel sorry for your mom

remember that i don't remember that specific one but yeah that comment crypto i just remember hurt feelings but what did she get out of it though her best yeah uh i think she just wants to do it well what does she get out of it though

Probably people admiring her or looking at her.

She's kind of into that.

Remember, I told you a while back, she always wanted to be the blackjack that you play with the female dealer, electronic dealer.

She's like, when we first started going through, she's like, I always wanted to do that.

I would love to do that.

So I think there's something about, probably low self-esteem, maybe.

I don't know.

Whatever the case.

Does her friend have fun?

Like, her friend is like, this is fun.

Enjoy what she likes.

It's probably fun.

I mean, is it the only way you have fun is if you get if you're getting paid enough to do it.

She do.

Yeah.

Zia gets paid.

Yeah.

She sure.

She's cutting Mary back then.

I don't know.

I might give her a couple bucks.

Or maybe she launches her own channel.

Okay.

Yeah, no.

Now that gives her her start.

But is that what you want to deal with?

Not really.

Yeah, you know.

Well, it depends how much money's coming in.

That's a good point.

That's a good point.

Some of these girls make fuck tons of money.

Yeah.

Yeah.

But I think those are probably the, I mean, hundreds of thousands, some of them.

Just for showing.

Just for showing booze, maybe showing their buttons.

Everything's going to be.

Some girls don't even show anything.

Like, some girls just show their feet and they'll make a bundle.

Some girls will just do like bent over cleavage and they make a bundle.

It's like, because there's something for everybody.

Like, I'm not into feet, but this get not get him, but you know, this guy next to me is.

So, like, that's good for him.

I'm not, again, I'm not really into like below the belt in pictures.

I like boobs.

Stop fucking trying to chime in.

You didn't want a fucking mic.

Now you got to sit there and take it.

Yeah.

Yeah.

You couldn't even exceed, you know.

He's into appendectomy scores, too.

Oh, really?

Let me tell you something.

I didn't have an early friend's account from assigned it, too.

Ooh, she went under surgery.

Yeah.

Did it hurt?

Yeah, so I think

I told her, I was like, I'm not going to spearhead this.

I'm not going to lead the charge on it.

If that's something you want to do, you talk to me.

How would you spearhead it, though?

Oh, I would talk to Z and I'd be like, hey, this is what she wants to do.

Blah, blah, blah.

Like, I would set it all up.

But she has from the beer, when your beer launched, she still has her German girl outfits.

So she's set.

We don't even have to invest money in outfits.

Startup costs to cover.

Zero cost to money.

That's what I like.

Should we, I mean, could we start Tell them Steve Dave OnlyFans?

With us?

Well, yeah.

Or anybody who wants to.

Is OnlyFans only dirty?

Or it's like you can go.

No, no, you said I'll be fine.

No, no, no.

No, OnlyFans, like, yeah, there's musical acts.

I mean, mostly it's dirty, but there's, you know, bands and

art authors and stuff like that.

So, you know, it's possible to make money not showing anything.

Well, because we keep talking about that calendar, the

Fat Boy Summer one.

The Fat Boy Summer calendar.

Yeah, maybe, maybe, maybe it's OnlyFans.

Tom dropped out of Fat Boy Summer.

His wife said he couldn't do it.

No, he got Poison Ivy.

He did?

I say highlight that shit.

Get him into Poison Ivy, too.

All right.

He's into Baby Ivy.

He's into blemish switches.

Double whammy, but Tom.

Look at those red blisters.

Listen, we're going to wait until they start losing.

How did they get Poison Ivy?

Being outside, just doing stuff.

That's the worst, man.

Yeah.

I had Poison Ivy last year on my junk.

It was horrible.

I remember you saying that.

Well, you're not burying a fucking squirrel.

Yeah.

Oh, I didn't know this.

Did you mention this on TSD?

Yeah.

We talked about it.

Yeah.

And you got it from burying a squirrel?

We were laughing at that.

Why were you nude?

No, I wasn't.

I wasn't.

Well, it's just part of the religion, Paul.

That's what we have to do.

No, it was burying the squirrel, and then

but then I got into yard work after that a little bit

and came back inside, and I just peed before I washed my hands and

covered.

Damn.

Oh, so you got you.

So what?

You said you put your hands all over your thing to pee?

Well, you know, you pull it out, you cradle, you do a little cradle so it doesn't dip into the water, and then you

pee.

Okay.

You know?

That's that's the the worst poison ivy.

That's the worst, yeah.

Yeah, because it's confusing.

I only had it there once.

Oh, yeah, it was fun, not fun, I imagine.

No, had to go to a doctor.

I didn't even know it was, it was sumac, it wasn't even ivy, so it was a different type of uh

so yeah, and then that was, I think that's the first time, like since probably I was a baby, I had to show myself to a doctor in that area, the only fans area.

He was like, You say you're only fans,

all right.

Yeah, And he looked at it for like a millisecond.

It's like, it's poison sumac.

You'll be all right.

Yeah.

Yeah.

I think I'm immune to poison ivy.

I've never gotten it.

That's so nice.

I've touched it.

That and cold sores.

I never got cold sores.

Yeah.

It's the only thing I got going for me, ladies.

I don't get poison ivy and I don't get cold sores.

It's pretty good.

Every seven years, your body changes, though.

Oh, yeah?

Yeah.

So what am I at?

So 749, so fuck, dude, 56.

Oh, a year away?

Yeah, it's going to change.

It could change.

It could be a cold, sword-ridden, poison-ivy-laden fuck.

They won't even know where to fucking put the spoon.

You'll be so fucking unrecognizable.

They're like, you might pop if he'd give him a rejection.

Mary Beth also wanted me to dress down the landscapers.

She wanted me to go Karen on them because they mow the lawn.

Yeah.

And they ran over one of Norm's toys.

So the stuffing went everywhere.

Oh, yeah.

That happens.

You're going to run over a toys.

Oh, yeah.

plenty of Sox and Cooper's shit has been destroyed but it's our fault we always take it as like of course.

Yeah we got to move it.

But here here was her problem.

He didn't pick up the stuffing and just throw it in the garbage just left it in the yard so there's like stuffing everywhere.

And I was like, I can't disagree.

He probably should have just gotten off the fucking mower and thrown it in the garbage.

But if you think I'm going to approach these guys with this guy, it's because it's Pat O'Neill.

We've known him our whole lives almost.

And God,

and I'll tell you what, God forbid you get on the wrong side because they ain't coming back.

And then Tro tried to get a landscaper to come up and when you're in the middle of the day.

You know, I'm out there with a lawnmower.

Yeah, exactly.

So it's easier for me to have her pick up the stuff.

Then I've got to deal with it.

I was like, there's no way I'm going Karen on these guys.

Fuck that.

Yeah, you know, I never go Karen on the guys anyway.

He's just like, hey, man, you know, you try and be cool about it.

My pool boy won't even come back.

Why?

I don't know.

I think I insulted him with an offer that was too low, which I didn't think it was low.

But, you know, it's like they kind of like bailed on me when I needed them the most with like getting the pool ready and fixing the chemicals.

And let me tell you, Deb Planning it would be fucking proud of me.

I got these chemicals down, son.

Clear,

crystal clear.

It looks great, nice and warm.

You're using it?

All the time.

All the time.

Nice.

Yeah.

Sage uses it constantly.

What's going on with that golf cart?

Golf cart got sold.

You sold it?

Sold it to Darren.

Yeah.

Darren bought it because he wanted to bring it down to the campground that they have like a little cabin or something.

So he got it running?

Yeah, all it took was like pouring water in it, like distilled water into the battery.

All the batteries were dry.

It had like six batteries.

Yeah.

And then you pour water into them, this distilled water, and they came back and started right up.

It had like, had get up and go.

Oomph, yeah.

A little zip.

Oh, yeah.

Yeah.

It was good.

Wait, what was I just talking about?

I forget.

Only fans.

Yeah, what was your final

boy?

Yeah.

What was your final judgment on that?

To me, it's like.

It's always safer not to do something than to do something.

Right.

But what's the harm, man?

I feel like Danny DeVito and OE Sunny in a little bit.

Remember, he's like, I'm getting, he's like, I don't know how much longer I'm going to last.

These last couple of years, I want to get real weird with it.

Yeah.

That's kind of like, I mean, it's not really that weird for her to be on OnlyFans.

That really doesn't have anything to do with me.

Sure.

But I'm like, it's something I can appreciate because it's different.

And go for it.

Put it this way: I wouldn't judge you.

No.

Or her.

I'd be like, all right, that's what they're doing.

You asked me for a link, I bet.

Is it free?

It's free to you.

All right, well, then, yeah.

Well, there you go.

Well, you want the link?

No, I'm good.

Only if it's downstairs, I got you.

Only if it's in an OnlyFans issue.

I can't promise that only is going to happen.

But if it does, you're the first guy on my list.

Yeah, Pool Boy.

They left me.

They left me at a lurch, and then

he was texting me.

He's like, hey, do you need a landscaping done?

Do you need a landscaping done?

And I'm like, yeah, I could use some weeds pulled and some help me move some shit.

I still have that thing you gave me in the goddamn garage because there's nobody that's strong enough to help me.

Oh, shit, really?

Yeah, so I have to get that down there i was like cool we'll finally get that downstairs

and um that is heavy he oh my god that's quality furniture my friends yeah you could tell that yeah that's no that's not ikea shit um so he's like do you want to let landscape in so i'm like yeah okay and he goes all right get together what you want done and i'll give you an estimate and i'm like i can't it's just like odd job shit it's pulling weeds it's like i can't tell you how long it's going to take you to pull weeds right i can't tell you how long it's going to help take you to help me carry this shit downstairs so i was like as opposed to like an estimate and a flat price, I was like, I was like, I googled it.

Landscapers get paid $17.30 for an hour.

I said, how about I give you $20 an hour?

And that's tax-free, which means it's probably $25 for him.

Never heard back.

Never heard back.

Never even fucking heard back.

I'm like, this kid's 20 years old.

I'm like,

where are you working?

Well, if he's 20 years old, anything could have distracted him.

Yeah.

I don't know.

He seemed conscientious and now not conscientious.

Now I'm pulling weeds.

Maybe if you give him $20 an hour and a link to the OnlyFans, like a free link, maybe then.

Yeah, I guess.

But do you want a 20-year-old pool boy at your house?

Oh, being like, ooh, maybe she'll come out.

Yeah.

Maybe she'll come out.

He takes his shirt off.

But she's in good shape, the pool boy.

He's just like in regular shape, I think.

He's like not fat like me.

I never worry about that.

I've never seen an out-of-shape pool boy.

No, I don't think they make him.

Yeah, I'm not really, I'm not, it's just one of those things that'll probably come back to play me, but I'm just not concerned with younger guys with her.

Yeah.

Yeah.

She seems to have an eye for the gray.

Yeah.

Yeah.

So what other gray beard has she shown an interest in?

She said she's always dated older guys.

But not older than

as far as I know.

Has she seen like,

is there a certain actor that she'll show

a little bit more, she'll pay a little bit more attention to?

Like James Brolin.

No, she doesn't really bring up that kind of stuff in front of me.

You know, like

crushes on actors or anything.

Like, Like, I don't know if it exists.

Like, I'm not sure if she's that type of person.

She never talks about it.

Like, I'm not so dopey or retarded to think, like, she only thinks I'm good looking.

But she's never, like, really named anybody or

anything like that.

Yeah.

I'll go home and grill her.

Yeah, find out, get to the bottom of it.

Only fence.

You want to suck George Burns's cock?

Good night, Gracie.

Yeah, I mean, it's look, it's, it's, uh, you know, it's certainly good for this show if she does.

Oh, definitely.

Like, you know, only content can come out of this.

Let's see.

I got to text Troy real fast.

He's at work, but

I was hoping he would be able to come on for a minute because they caught the Gilgo Beach killer.

They did.

Or as far as they believe they killed him and get him at a good point.

There's been so many suspects up to this point that to say,

oh, he's definitely the guy now.

It's like, yeah, but you you said these other guys were definitely the guy.

I mean, they seem really sure.

They seem really sure.

And it's been, it seems like it's been a long time since they figured out it was him, and then they started watching him.

So what was the thing?

Like, what, like, he just, how many, because I've heard different numbers.

He just on Long Island, he just, he just called escorts, then killed them, then

chopped their body up and distributed them.

You've never heard of this.

The Gilgo Beach?

Yeah, I was talking to, it's on Long Island.

I was talking to Troy about, like, why, well, God, excuse me,

why

does this guy

not get,

oh, my God, I can't drink carbonated shit.

Why does this guy not get the play and the attention that another serial killer might get?

You know?

How many, how many, what's his body count?

I think it's, technically, it's only four.

It could be more, but

as many as 12.

As many as 12, yeah, there's a lot.

They're trying to nail him on the first four people, the Gilgo Gilgo for them.

And how long has he been active?

Well, they're not sure if he killed anybody before them, but late 2010 is when they

was when the four

were discovered.

I had heard that he used the victims' phones to call their family and mock them

and like explain what and describe what he did to them and stuff like that.

I mean, he's talking about a real fucking piece of

cruel motherfucker.

And it's weird.

He had a burner phone, but it's like he kept it for a long time.

I thought the idea of a burner phone was like you use it for a couple days, maybe, and then you toss it.

He used a burner phone to meet up with three of the four victims.

He was also linked to one of the cell phones on a surveillance video that showed him purchasing the device at a store in Midtown Manhattan.

And I'm like, okay,

how are they not able to figure this out before?

Like, why did it take 13 years

to figure this shit out?

Snoring gently in the corner over there.

And a leaf going up and down.

His wife was traveling out of state during the murders.

One, two, three, the four girls.

That's the person I'm interested in.

Two of the burner cell phones were used extensively between 2021 and 2023 to contact sex workers and massage parlors.

There's a whole bunch of shit on here.

You can look it up if you want

independently.

But he seems pretty fucking like a pretty crummy guy.

Yeah.

Huge.

Isn't he like six something?

He's a big guy.

Yeah.

Yeah.

These are all the...

do you want to hear all the things that Troy said that I share with the Skill Go Beach Killer?

He's a big guy.

This is what Troy says.

Resided in a crooked house, check.

Special needs kid, check.

Eats pizza.

I thought that was a stretch.

That's a little stretch.

Had a life-size doll of a child in the home, check.

Worked in midtown Manhattan.

Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.

Explain that, though, for listeners.

You're talking about a horror doll.

These are about Chucky.

Yeah, you're talking about like a neck of

a mass-produced doll,

not like a doll that you fashioned out of

pillows.

Yeah, one of those Tiffany and Chucky.

Tiffany and Chucky.

Yeah, okay.

Something that is in every Spencer across the country.

Right.

Yeah.

Yeah, you got it.

And then he said, likes to chat up prostitutes.

Check.

Hashtag Pray for Mary Beth.

When have you ever chatted up a prostitute?

When I watched her shoot up heroin.

Oh, well, true.

Yeah, yeah.

I thought she was just a stripper.

No, she was a prostitute as well.

Okay, no judgments here.

Nah, fuck it, man.

Sex workers are,

you know, sex positive.

Oh, you guys can put on your headphones if you want.

Oh, Troy's down.

Well, what's up, buddy?

Hey, how's it going?

These guys are putting their headphones on.

Give me just a second.

Okay, so I'm here with Walt and Q.

What's going on, guys?

Hey, Troy.

Troy, everyone.

And so we're just talking about the Gilgo Beach killer, the Long Island killer, who you said it's about 20 minutes from your house?

Yeah, about that.

Okay.

So my question to Troy was: How hard is the ribbing from his cop buddies if it turns out that I'm the Gilgo Beach killer?

Like I told you, from my cop buddies, it's probably pretty hard.

I'm not going to hear shit from anybody else because everybody else who knows you has

access to the same information I had.

Yeah, they're not homicide detectives, though.

Yeah.

That's true.

That's true.

But like I was telling you, when you go down the checklist of this guy and you

I read your checklist.

Yeah.

I read your checklist everybody.

We all agreed that eating pizza was maybe not the strongest evidence.

Yeah, that was a bit of a stretch.

Just another thing you haven't got short fuse?

The DA is not going to use that to try to nail him, right?

The pizza?

Well, no, the pizza is what they got his DNA from.

Oh, so they got to use it.

Wow.

Yeah.

Yeah.

So apparently, from what I read, they were onto this guy for like over a year.

So they were doing observation on him, and they wanted a DNA sample.

So I guess in Manhattan, outside of his workplace, they saw him buy pizza and eat it.

And when he discarded it, they collected it to swab it for DNA.

Now, I believe that the delay in identifying him was because the DNA they collected from the crime scene way back when,

the advancements in DNA typing hadn't come as far as they have now.

So like mitochondrial DNA wasn't a thing back then.

So with what they can do now, they were able to develop a DNA profile off of the hair they found at the crime scene.

And then once they got his DNA off of the pizza, they were able to make the match.

And mitochondrial DNA is the mother's DNA, right?

Strictly correct.

Correct.

And I think from what I know about it, which is a little limited, it doesn't give as an exclusive a profile as just like regular DNA.

Like it could be other people, but still the odds are astronomical that it's somebody else.

Right.

So that answers a question as to why it took him so long to figure it out.

I didn't know it was advancements in DNA.

Did you mention to Walt what we were talking about before also?

Because I don't think I ever mentioned it to him.

And

I'm hesitant to bring it up on the heels of last week when Walt got upset about the possibility of moving studios.

I don't want to drag up a bad memory.

Oh, it's all good now.

You should see this office is gorgeous.

It sparked me.

You wouldn't believe it.

Give it a little extra money this week.

For doing his job?

No, Walt, do you remember?

Remember last year when

your daughter, you didn't know where she was for that short period of time?

Yes.

Actually, you went to the concert at Jones Beach?

Do you have any idea how close Gilgo Beach is to Jones Beach?

To be honest with you, I've never even heard of this case.

I've never heard of the Gil, what's it called?

Gilgo.

Gilgo.

Yeah.

I didn't mention it at the time because I knew that it wasn't going to be a concern.

But one of the things that popped in my head last year when you said she was missing near Jones Beach, I was like, God, I hope he doesn't know because it's like, it's a chip shot away from Jones Beach.

It's like the neighboring beach.

So So if you knew that she was

probably

checked that out.

Yeah, thank you.

That's why I bring you up a year later because I wasn't really concerned back then.

But yeah, where she was missing was literally like right Jones Beach and right next door is Gilgal Beach.

She actually was never in Jones Beach, you know, I and I believe her.

She said she was never, ever, ever near there.

And it was really weird because when we gave the cops her phone number, they like the Middletown Police, they basically came back within a half hour and be like, yeah, we tracked her phone.

She's here on the beach, and it's in the water.

They said the phone's in the water.

I swear to God, the cops said that.

Yeah, well, if you gave the phone number and half an hour later, they said we tracked her phone, they were locked.

Why would they do that, though?

Like, I swear on my mother's life, like a cop came to our house.

He, he, and he said, he knocked on the door.

It's like four o'clock in the morning or five o'clock in the morning.

And he's like, I just want to let you know we tracked that number.

We know where it is.

And I, that's how I got that, um, that destined destination or that location that I gave you.

And the cop said, we tracked the number, it's on this beach, the phone's actually in the water, but we don't think it's in the water, but it's showing it's in the water.

And, but we'll, we'll find it, we'll figure it out.

And then he left.

That's like nightmare-level shit.

That's like

that's still like

it affects me to this day when I think back on it, how traumatizing it was when he said that, though.

And it was, it was crazy, It was inaccurate.

Right.

That's a bizarre thing to say.

And even if you were exigent circumstances, like you're, you're not pinging the phone that fast.

In half an hour, it's just not happening.

That's what I thought.

I thought, like, how did they get this so quickly?

But yeah,

thankfully, it was, it was wrong, but I'll never forget that feeling when he said that and it turned out it wasn't true.

I wanted to be like, why would he say that?

Why would he come make an effort to come here and say that?

Unless he just got wrong information from somebody else that could be too dude

i watch more and more murder porn than anyone else uh

and when you hear like girls missing murder porn yeah so when you when you hear a girl's missing and they're like oh yeah by the way her phone's in the water you're like she's done it's over like that's what i would assume if i were you and to find out that it was completely inaccurate

she was

that guy i would have went caring on not the landscaper well i never saw him again oh you know yeah we never i never got had contact with that police officer after that though

Yeah, like if you did find my phone and it gave an approximate location near the water and she was supposed to be at Jones Beach, then it's not as upsetting.

But if she wasn't anywhere near Jones Beach,

I don't know.

Like, find my phone, you can get an instant location or at least an approximate one.

But if the cops weren't doing that off of your device and your Apple account, then I don't know where that came from.

That's a bizarre thing to say.

Yeah,

it was disturbing and it remains like

a scar to this day.

It's triggering.

It still gets me.

It still brings me back to that moment.

Yeah, it's fucked up.

Can you believe this weather?

I mean, I can't.

I'm sorry to interrupt this serial killer talk.

That's no rain.

It's rain.

It has been fucking torrential for hours now.

It's sheets, sheets of rain.

There were exits and streets closed because of flooding to get here today.

So why do you drive?

I'm driving into work today.

There was a good 10-minute stretch where it felt like I was driving through a car wash.

Nuts.

Why do you think this killer, was it Jingo?

Gilgo.

Gilgo.

Gilgo.

Why do you think it didn't get the ink and the media play that a lot of serial killers get?

You know what?

Like, how many serial killers really at the time do they know it's a serial killer?

It gets a lot of play.

Like, Son of Sam, I think, got a lot of play because at the time, anybody could have been a victim.

You know, this one, most people probably don't worry about it because, I mean, first of all we're 12 years removed from when the lost last body was found and people are thinking well i'm not a prostitute ain't gonna happen to me you know so i think like son of sam was civilians

right zodiac regular people right zodiac um

son of sam uh route 70 i just read about

remember root 70 i just saw a show on him last night they still don't know

smiley face this guy didn't kill someone for 12 years as far as you know well well we we don't know that.

I mean, apparently from, again, what I'm reading, I don't have any personal knowledge about it.

I just want to read the papers.

But apparently, he's still buying burner phones, like to this day and talking to prostitutes.

So who knows from 2011 until now how many more he might have done and gotten away with?

Man, I tell you, man, like...

What is wrong with these fucking people?

I couldn't even...

Yeah, like I wouldn't even want to punch someone today.

Like the older you get, you just get it.

Yeah, like I don't want to hurt anybody.

I don't even want to hurt anybody's feelings.

I don't want to yell about a stuffed toy, I certainly don't want to kill anybody, yeah, it's too much work.

It's like to torture and kill, and then call their family and describe what you did, like from their phone, right?

Right, Troy, didn't you call from one of their phones?

That's what I heard.

Yeah, yeah.

Is there anything done above board with burner phones to like, or is almost everything

that involved with the burner phone illegal?

Like drugs or something, yeah, right.

I can't think of a legitimate reason to own one of those.

I've got stage a burner phone that when maryback

goes why do you have a burner phone

if you're giving your kid like if you're giving your kid like their first phone maybe do that yeah you know so if they're responsible they don't lose it that's exactly but

should they outlaw burner phones troy in your opinion

um you know what it's not that honestly it's not that big of an issue anymore because people think that they're being assisted by using like whatsapp another instead of just using regular cell data and like your cell phone plan people use apps to try and get around uh call logs but the thing is too your your phone is still um being tracked because when you're using data it still gives off location because it's trying to get off cell towers to use data yeah that's why i never understand again like i watch all these shows and i'm like why do these fucking idiots bring their regular cell phone with them i don't get it but like why are they not covering every base before they're like okay we're gonna go out we're gonna do this leave the cell phone at home i'm not gonna go like through i mean but today it's like there's so many ring cameras that like they can like there's a show that's like, here's, here we're going to follow this person until they're killed by video.

And it's like, okay, here they are in a grocery store.

And then there they are driving by a McDonald's.

And then they are there on some other video.

And they piece it together.

And then they're like, okay, and now this is finally where they ended up.

So now we can go back and see if anybody was following them or whatever, you know?

It's crazy.

I don't mind that.

Yeah, I never really cared because you don't even think about it.

But like the more video, it's kind of like the better better for crime.

Yeah, I guess.

Who knows how long this guy was inactive?

He had a pretty good chance of getting away with it because when Brian and I were talking about it a couple of days ago when the story was breaking before they laid out the case, I said, I'd be surprised if they actually got DNA because I didn't know how fresh the bodies were where they were found because you're dumping them in the, you know, in a...

like reeded area in a dune by a beach where the elements are going to get to it.

And I didn't know like how well the body was wrapped or how long it was there.

so i didn't know how much luck they would have getting dna off of it so this guy got pretty unlucky but i guess the fact that he got away with it for 12 years means he also got pretty lucky because

at least 12 years because he's right he's older guy he's like my age right like he's like 55 or so maybe a little bit older right i think they said that of the bodies they found there are some dating back to like 96.

they can only tie they can only tie

three to him.

They have a pretty strong case for a fourth.

I think all in all, there was like 10 or 12 bodies recovered over there.

So, and one of them, they believe, was dumped sometime around 96.

So, this guy might have been doing it for close to 30 years.

Man, thank you know, thank God for law enforcement.

Do you see yourself

working like once you retired, could you see yourself working on cold cases?

Like, that is some of the most interesting shit when people take a new look at a case and they're like, oh, yeah, they didn't notice this or they skipped this.

And then there's like this whole new case that evolves from it.

Yeah, those are the only murder shows that I really get into.

The cold case ones.

The cold case ones, yeah.

Because somebody's got their just desserts.

Somebody thought they got away with it.

Then they said, bam, motherfucker.

20 years later, 30 years later, bam.

Yeah, you're fucked.

At this point, I've been doing this shit for over 26 years.

When I retire, I want nothing to do with anything resembling police work.

Oh, really?

Like, I'll have more time.

I want to come out by you guys more often and make dick and far jokes.

That's what I'm doing.

You're welcome to do that.

Troy, have you thought about starting an OnlyFans account?

Yeah, Troy, I I could ask you.

Mary Beth is considering doing a photo shoot with her friend Zia.

You know, Zia, right?

Yeah, from

who shows that?

Yeah, she was on chip.

She was on chip for a long time.

Right, chip.

Chip.

Yeah, so Mary Beth is considering doing a little OnlyFans set with her as a German beer girl showing off her boobs and getting Walton Q's opinion on it.

So I might as well ask you, too.

I'll send you a link.

Good idea, right?

I would have such awkward feelings about looking at pictures.

Yeah, it would be tough to look at the photos.

Yeah.

All right, all right.

Everybody's gay, I guess.

Yeah, but like

me not wanting to look at, because she's also my friend.

Right.

You know what I mean?

Like, well, I don't look at Zia's pictures.

Like, I've never seen one of Zia's pictures because I'm like, yeah, she's my friend, and it just feels weird looking at her.

Yeah, so, you know, and then throwing the fact that she's my friend's wife as well, you know, like I don't have a friend

to check them out.

I've seen a healthy amount of tits in my life.

It's no critique on Mary Beth or her looks.

It's just the personal relationship makes it a little awkward.

I was going to go home and be like, guess what?

Nobody wants to see your tits.

Might as well fucking keep them stowed.

Lock them up.

Oh, man.

So, yeah, so

what are the chances that we could get this serial killer on an episode of Tell Em Steve, Dave?

I might be able to.

Yeah.

I think are like a lot of serial killers that want to talk about shit, but then there are some who are like so

just open, like an open book and just want to talk about everything.

But you're probably not allowed to talk to those guys, right?

I'll bet you it's difficult to get an interview with BTK or something.

He's still alive?

Oh, yeah.

I think it's up to them, you know, if they're willing to talk.

Because Manson's producing Los Angeles.

Oh, that would be great.

What's up?

Oh, fuck, man.

Manson produced Los Angeles.

Good.

I was going going to say, if the Jokers, like if you could get them on for one bit.

Yeah, I don't know.

And then

because you just said that, like,

get an earpiece in him and start fucking saying wacky shit.

Yeah, you just don't want to.

What did he even say to us?

You're telling me he's not allowed to kill any more women.

And you guys are all laughing.

Yeah.

I don't know.

I don't know if I would really want to talk to someone like that.

It would have to be dead serious.

There's no jokes.

And the whole time you're like, this isn't even a real person.

Yeah.

This is like a guy.

This is like a ghoul masquerading as a person.

Oh, it's so weird.

You know?

To be able to trick everybody.

I honestly feel bad for his kids.

Like, if they had no idea.

Right.

Oh, he has a family?

Oh, yeah, he's a wife.

Yeah, he's got, yeah, he's got a 25-year-old daughter, a son who's supposed to be like two, three years older than that, who special needs, and his wife, who is a second wife.

And what they said was that.

It looks like when he was doing this shit, it's when like his family was out of town.

Yeah, yeah.

They would go on little vacations and shit, and then he would go and do his thing.

Yeah, one thing said that his wife was fond of going to like comic book conventions, so you guys actually might have met her.

She might be a fan.

What?

Oh, shit!

I'm not joking.

That was one of the things.

Mom would go on trips to conventions.

Comic book conventions.

They probably watch comic book men then.

We're in.

We are in.

Yeah.

We're tight with the guilty killer.

Only speak to Mike and Ming.

Can you imagine?

That would be so demoralizing if she's like, only do I sell comics.

Oh, I sell comics coming.

Is that our intelligence back together?

The most important thing is that the tragedies continue with the Gilgo Killer.

The most important

interview ever, and it gets completely fucked up.

Right, right, right, right, right, right, right.

God damn him.

Ming.

Oh, Ming.

All right, homie.

Want to check in with you.

Hope everything is going well.

Stay dry.

All that shit.

Stay alive.

Go go.

All right, guys.

Be good.

We'll get together soon.

Absolutely.

Good to see you.

Labor Day.

Johnson BBQ.

Everyday barbecue.

We're going to have it.

That's it.

I'm in.

All right.

All right.

I'll talk to you later.

Bye, guys.

Be good.

Bye-bye.

I got to mark that down.

What's it?

The Saturday, the Sunday, the Monday?

What are you thinking?

Whatever that.

Let me see.

That would be the second, I guess.

That's Labor Day, right?

That's Labor Day weekend.

Yeah.

Yeah.

It would be the second.

No good?

I'm out of town.

You tell me.

I'm out of town.

It looks like I'm out of town that the whole weekend?

Yeah.

You son of a bitch.

Maybe, maybe not, but it does look right now.

I'm scheduled to be out of town.

But you know me.

I like canceling plans more than I like making plans.

There you go.

Yeah.

All right.

All right.

Let's see.

What else do I got?

Anything?

Anything worth bringing up?

You saw Mission Impossible.

Yes.

There's a new Mission Impossible out.

I'm completely unaware of it.

I haven't read.

I haven't gone online.

Every day, you know, it comes up, it's like, you spent this much time on your screen versus five minutes.

Nice.

Five minutes last week.

Oh, there's a better look at the news.

I don't know.

I feel so disconnected.

Like, unless I see you or you, that's great.

I feel disconnected from everything.

Well, all right.

Maybe that's not.

But how, but how is it?

How is

no TV?

Come on.

What?

It's silly now.

Of course I watch the TV, but it's not.

But no, but no news.

I've been watching the Waltons.

Yeah,

I'm giving it five more episodes.

I'm giving it a total of 10 episodes.

It sucks.

Because with Frank

The Waltons, yeah, because Frank was like, oh, it's so much better than the Little House on the Prairie.

I'm like, he should be institutionalized.

It's fucking definitely not.

It's so boring.

I've never seen an episode.

It's not my thing.

There was a good episode yesterday.

It was like halfway decent.

There's these like real eccentric sisters that like they're they

make booze, but they don't.

They're total like anti-boos.

I don't even know what the wild words are.

It's a poor family.

It's the equivalent of watching someone create

a plaid fabric.

All right.

That's basically that's what you're watching on TV.

It's like watching someone create a plaid fabric for 60 minutes.

Okay.

It might be interesting for the first couple of minutes.

I don't know how they make plaid, but yeah, once you got it down, I think I would be more interested in the plaid.

Have you been watching Righteous Jumpstones?

No, we wait until everything comes out.

Okay,

goddamn, it's so fucking good.

It's a great show.

We watch the first two seasons.

It's fucking awesome.

What's the matter, Giddem?

What's going on, Gidem?

What?

Take the thing out.

Take the thing out.

No, take the thing out.

All right.

Yeah, this season, dude, is fucking awesome.

Steve Zahn.

Steve Zahn's at it?

Steve Zahn's not the villain, but he's like their antagonist.

Me and Q or OG Steve Zahn for the future.

Yeah, we probably know him like you know Gilgo.

He's not like the most popular actor, but he's awesome.

Yeah,

for 20-something years.

We wrote a script for him when I was like 22.

We're like, this is perfect for Steve Zahn.

So you guys may have been on the forefront of fan fiction.

Well, we wrote, no, we had like a, we had a, we wrote Steve Zahn fan fiction.

Yeah, it wasn't about Steve Zahn.

We wrote the character for Steve Zahn.

Oh, okay.

I still think that's a great idea.

I think it's a fantastic thing.

I think that it's.

How can we not make that movie for a low budget?

Come on, man.

There's like two settings.

Yeah.

We should go back.

And also, I was going through my computer deleting shit, and I saw Dateland, and I was like, that would still work today.

Although, the things that we put in it would not work.

We wrote that at a time when, like, Woke was like, what do you mean?

Yeah.

PC, what do you mean?

So, like, everything is like fat this, old this.

Yeah, it wasn't like blazing saddles, but it wasn't like

it was like just a desensitive, like, because there was a character in it who's a fucking crazy maniac, yeah, and everything that came up, but always Sonny gets away with it.

Always Sonny gets away with it.

I don't know if I compare myself to always Sonny, but I compare you to always sunny.

How about you get away?

I would not know.

Those guys are masters at the uh at the genre, yeah.

But, um, did you, not to take you off the subject, but you did mention Mission Impossible.

Yeah, so you texted me briefly.

I know people are interested in Steve San

and what we wrote 20 years ago.

It's a great story.

Yeah, so you said it was good.

I said it was good.

I enjoyed it, but it wasn't my favorite, MI.

Yeah.

No.

What kept it back?

But does it end on a cliffhanger?

Oh, you didn't see it either.

No, it didn't.

Oh, okay.

Yeah, it does end on a cliffhanger, but not one like,

you know, where Hans and the Carbonite.

I thought it was going to be that kind of level.

I thought they were going to end it in the middle of a major stunt or something, which I thought would have been cool.

back to the future 2 style what was back to the future 2 style like it ends with it ends at the ending of part one where they send the DeLorean to the future with the clock tower and everything and Doc celebrating in the street and then Marty runs around the corner because he's stuck back in 1955 and the movie ends like that yeah something on the on that level where like you and like this movie has an ending where it feels like it's an ending

where I was hoping it would be like you know him dangling from a from a clip

And I wanted to ask you this.

Now that you brought up Marty, because we were talking Frank.

I have a Back to the Future to talk about too.

So let's get into it a little bit.

We asked Frank, and he can't describe it

because he's a big Back to the Future guy, maybe bigger than you.

I mean, he owns a DeLorean, which would give him a little bit of a digital

in a dick contest.

He might win that one.

I mean, I try to.

I know Michael J.

Fox.

I don't want to watch him.

I want to fucking pull out the dicks.

I'll pull out the dicks.

Sorry, Frank.

Your DeLorean don't mean shit.

He's the Alpha Doggin.

He didn't want to hear it.

There's no way he wanted to hear it.

Got signed books by him personalized to me, but whatever, whatever.

His nostrils flared.

Anybody can buy a DeLorean.

Did Frank say that?

He said that.

He said that?

There was not a beat before he was like, whoa.

You know Michael J.

Fox.

Yeah.

And when did this happen?

Did you know this?

He went to lunch with him?

Did you know this?

I didn't know you went to lunch with him.

I told you.

Yeah.

I don't know if I talked about it.

You know he doesn't go on Instagram.

Well, you know what?

I stopped talking about things like that.

Anytime

I mentioned someone famous on the show, it's like, he's a fucking sellout.

I stopped my names.

So I just stopped telling the cool stories.

They're jelly, right?

They're all jelly.

They're fucking jelly.

I figured.

How does that happen?

What are the circumstances where you go going to lunch with Michael J.

Fox?

He was in the hospital.

He had an accident.

He broke a bone.

And, you know, because of his condition, it takes him a long time.

You went to go cheer him up?

No, but he wasn't.

He dressed like a clown.

Like Patch Adams.

The red-nose.

No, and he was watching, he in the hospital, he said he watched a ton of jokers.

to make himself feel better.

He's like, your show was, was, you know, helped me through a tough time.

So we went to lunch.

And

how did you know?

Oh, we ran into him at Comic-Con.

Really?

And he gave me his assistance number and everything like that and said, you know, please reach out.

We'd love to.

And then we went to lunch.

When you're unimportant and you're at a con, you don't run into people like that.

Like, I remember them clearing out the whole green room so that the rock could walk through.

Not even like hang out.

Just because we needed to walk through to get to the stage.

And they're like, get the fuck out of here.

I mean, that happens to me, too.

Oh, yeah.

Yeah.

I get, you know, I remember.

Oh, yeah.

Like, he just pulled.

Okay.

Oh, it's all the Jokers went.

Well, Joker.

Oh, is he pretend it's just him again?

Oh, my God.

That's right.

They're fans, too.

Nice.

So this might be an insensitive question to ask, but like, did he spill his soup?

He didn't spill his soup at all.

No, he's, he's, he's.

Hard to understand the times because we were in a crowded restaurant.

Right.

When we went to his office, it's fine.

Like,

yeah, you understand it perfectly.

He's great.

Because Frank said that he fell.

Like, he, he was like, when he was at the con, he was, I think Frank was next or something in line, and Michael J.

Fox was like walking to get up, and he like he fell on a couch or something.

So he's like unsteady, I guess.

He's a little unsteady, right?

But I asked Frank, and he couldn't tell me why, though.

Like, why guys of your generation, you and Frank, why do you guys worship Marty McFly?

Well, I think that that movie is as close to a perfect movie as can be made.

Like, isn't it just like...

yes, there's a lot of great movies, T2, but I don't walk around, you know, in a biker jacket

and the glasses and talking like Arnold.

But

a lot of you guys, you go and get the outfits, you get the shoes.

There's never been anything like Back to the Future.

Like, it just blew your mind as to what.

You don't think it felt like a Disney movie?

Back to the Future?

She wants to fuck him.

What Disney movie are you talking about?

really hard it always struck me as something like disney produced like if like for the longest time i thought it was a walt disney movie like because when it came out i was like fucking you know i'm more into james hetfield than fucking marty mcfly like you dorks

so i'm like that's the disney movie why did he all love that shit so much

um the same age as you so that might be because when i saw it i was nine yeah and it got my hooks in but i fucking love it and then and then every back to the future movie did something that I had never seen before.

Like the ending of Back to the Future 2, like I was sat in the theater, like, I didn't know what to do with myself.

I was like, I don't, this is the craziest shit I've ever seen.

Like, he's stuck back in 1955, and the movie just fucking ends.

And what year did that come out?

That came out five years ago.

It came in the 90s, didn't it?

89, 90.

It was five years later.

So 90.

Yeah.

So I was 14.

Oh, wow.

Okay.

Yeah.

Yeah.

I can't, I forget.

You're like, you're like a baby.

Yeah, it's me.

Okay, yeah, because I see these movies through an adult's eyes and I'm just like, what the fuck is wrong with all these fucking soundtracks?

Because you would figure, like, not maybe not T2, but like Star Wars.

Like, if we lived...

No offense, Sunday, Jeff.

But if we lived and breathe Star Wars.

Yeah, but like Sunday, nobody loves Star Wars more than Sunday.

He didn't walk around with a black vest on and

with a white shirt underneath it and black fucking cargo pants with a red stripe down them and thigh-high boots like Han Solo.

But people do.

do yeah but more people do it with marty it's like it's weird it's like you guys like people walk down the street dressed like marty they go to cons and shit like that yeah no they they they live the marty lifestyle but what's wrong with that he was a fucking it's corny and maybe

i'm sorry i know you saw i know it's not politically correct to say it today but it's corny though it's not corny at all go back and watch i joined covering your bases

someday someone there

nodded right?

I'm right.

You think it's Corny, too?

It can't be fine.

Yeah, you can't hear him.

He's screaming with me.

I watch those movies.

I'll watch all three of those movies for the last one.

I love that.

How do you trudge through that last one?

What the fuck?

I love the last one.

Oh, more square dancing, please.

That's all.

That's the only critique I have for 20 seconds.

And then he got his hat shot off his head.

Talking about his life.

And he's walking around with his doppelgangers and shit, or

he's playing every role.

It's like an Eddie Murphy movie all of a sudden.

Well, what's wrong with that?

It's just corny.

It's not corny at all, man.

It's the corniest shit ever.

It's the corniest franchise in history.

Obama goes back to his dreams.

Get the fucking out of here.

Tell him, Steve Davis.

I have more and back to the future.

You just got to see Lyons.

So I went to go see the Broadway playlist.

I'm definitely cutting.

I'm going Saturday.

It is fucking awesome.

I'm going to see it again next week.

How do you, as a purist?

Why are you going?

My wife got me tickets for

Father's Day.

You're going to love it.

Well, I'm not going to love it.

What's the matter?

I'm not going to love it.

It's impossible.

Because they took the fucking soul out of it.

How?

No terrorists.

Libyans.

Oh, you don't care at all.

Oh, come on.

As a purist, how do you sit there and not go, like, come on?

What do you mean?

Because it cuts.

The whole impetus, Everything relies on the terrorists.

No, no.

They don't need it.

They don't need it in the play.

What?

They don't need it.

They don't need it, but you know that.

It cuts.

What do I want to see?

A fucking stage version of Libyan terrorists trying to do a car chase?

Cut it out.

They cut it out.

They cut it out.

He's now back in 1955 within like five to ten minutes in that play.

And that's what you want.

You don't want to see the fucking angle.

I don't know.

Brian, would you mind seeing the terrorist angle?

I would be like, these guys have balls of steel.

I'm going to see that play.

I'll tell you what.

I'm not going to do it otherwise.

The mother son

is amped up in the show.

Amped up.

It's really a little weirder in the show.

Yeah.

Okay.

Yeah.

And the guy who plays Doc, this guy named Roger Bart, does his own version of Doc.

He's not doing a

Christmas-Lloyd impersonation.

And it is fucking works.

I'm telling you, they made it their own thing.

What about the Marty guy?

Is he doing Marty?

Is he channeling Marty?

He's doing a version of Marty, but like almost like a more put-upon,

like, I don't want to say dumb, but like shocked version of Marty.

So, like, everything that happens to him, he has this, like, he's really good, the kid that plays me.

Did you get tickets or were you comp tickets?

No, I bought tickets both times.

I'm going again Wednesday.

Yo, you're going again?

That quickly.

Well, I had the tickets for next week already, and then a buddy of mine was in town.

He's like, I'm going tonight.

Do you want to go home?

And I was like, Yeah, I'm coming.

Yeah, I'm going Saturday.

Dude, the fucking DeLorean shit.

You're going to come in here next week, and you're you're going to fucking.

I'm going to have a fucking orange vest on.

You are.

I'm going to have Calvin Klein's on.

And my white and red night kids.

So you're like, I mean on your hoverboard.

Well, it only covers the parts.

It only covers part one.

It doesn't do two.

Oh, thank God.

There's also other two movies.

Suck balls.

What other movie did you ever see cross over with the first movie like that?

They invented a whole new thing.

Yeah, but you know, I always had a bad taste in my mouth what they did did to the father, George.

He was a fucking maniac.

Oh,

yeah, because the producers painted him as a maniac.

Of course, they want to paint him as the bad guy.

Excuse me, my friend.

I assure you, I have inside information.

Okay?

From my friend,

Mike.

What was the guy's name, the father?

Christman Glover.

Yeah, come on.

They did him dirty.

What are you talking about?

You had to sue.

What the fuck are you talking about?

They fucking took another actor and put him in the role and they pretended that it was him.

They recast the role.

But made you believe that it was him.

I think they used his voice, didn't they?

I mean, he sued.

They had him upside down so you couldn't tell who it was.

Or that anybody could sue anything.

Yeah.

But not everybody can win.

Did he win?

Yes.

He won.

He won.

Yes.

Oh, you two seem so sure.

Look it up.

Yeah, we'll stay saying no.

It's settled.

I thought this was a good thing.

That's good.

It was a win.

Yeah.

It's not a loss.

Where's his fucking look?

I don't want to get it.

Look, his performance is so good in the first one.

I don't want to come down on him.

I can't believe this is more controversial than Mary Beth's OnlyFans.

Because he's fucking off base.

This guy doesn't know what he's talking about.

I'm going to go home and fucking sulk him out.

I'm going to need some apologies this week.

Next week, it'll be on the screen.

Yeah,

I want to know what you think of the play.

It is, it is, I don't know that you'll remember any of this, like the songs aren't the selling point.

The humor, like, they really made it funny.

They made made it work.

How do they do the time travel effect?

Is this the best part of the play?

It is.

You saw Spider-Man, right?

Which I hold as the

Be-All End-all

Turn Off the Dark as the best Broadway play ever put on by man.

And woman.

Sure.

Okay.

Now, how does it hold up against that?

Well, I think it's better than that.

But I saw really okay.

It's fucking the car.

The way that they make it work, I don't want to ruin it for you, but they make the end with the car driving to the courthouse and everything fucking perceived.

And you saw Kong, too, right?

So Kong.

Kong.

I like Kong.

The puppet was good.

It was so good.

But at the story, I was like, this is so boring.

But the puppet was fucking awesome.

But it was the story, wasn't it?

Yeah, but it's like, I don't know.

I just,

I didn't like that one.

I did like the puppet.

The puppet was cool.

But I didn't like the thing.

He was drunk.

I mean, again, you're like, again, for this generation, you can't talk anything.

You can't talk against kids.

I won't hear it.

They won't hear anything bad about Marty McFly.

Yeah,

it's back to the future, man.

Like, there's nothing wrong with that movie.

Well, I mean, well, okay.

Top Steve David.

Fine.

He's pouting.

Worse than I was last week.

You might be right.