#562: Fat Boy Summer

He's now referring to me as Flan Pig

and calling me a Mick.

He keeps calling me a Mick.

That dog needs fucking braces.

And I just called him a virgin.

I just say, shut up, virgin.

And that's why I was.

I didn't know what he, I don't have no idea what he looked like or anything, but.

Get him with steaming.

How do you know?

How do you know it was me?

Tell them Steve Dave.

Hello, and welcome to this week's edition of Tell them Steve Dave.

What's up, Walt?

What's up?

And Q.

Hello.

Unfortunately, held back by the traffic in Staten Island.

Holiday traffic.

Yep.

Well,

it's more Jersey traffic than Staten Island traffic, if we're going to be honest.

But yes, a lot of what normally is a short trip is very long due to all the Jersey Shore fanatics heading down there.

What's that?

A lot of people headed to the beach this weekend, man.

Yeah.

Is there a boardwalk in Staten Island or any kind of like something that is equatable to the wonderful boardwalks we have in Jersey?

Well, we certainly have a boardwalk and a nice fishing pier, but nothing like with all the games and the like it's just a boardwalk.

It's like there's not like built up around it and stuff like that.

Used to be.

Back in the 1920s, Staten Island was a major destination, Walter, but that's gone now.

It's just

100 years.

Just a boardwalker.

Yeah, it's like just gone now, man.

It's all over.

Did it burn down or something?

Like, where did it go?

Well, it burned down several times, but it was more a matter of like,

I think it was like they, you know, just times move on.

It was Staten Island was a playground for the well-to-do.

And then they put up that bridge, and

any greasy Italian

way over it it

can make their way over it.

I just did.

There was termites in the future.

A lot of my family did the old Italian jiggity jig over the bridge to

Staten Island.

Yeah, ruined it all.

God damn.

You have any fourth plans, Walt?

Absolutely, positively none.

You might.

Mary Beth said to, we're having a Fourth of July, Just Johnson's.

Oh, yeah.

Mary Beth said that she would invite you and Deb if you wanted to come over.

Okay.

And get him if you wanted to come over.

You guys are both welcome.

I don't expect to see any of you, but you're welcome.

Okay, get him already.

He was already backpedaling.

Why?

Why?

What do you got planned?

I already committed to plans.

You're going to Rupert's house?

Yeah.

Ah, okay.

Can't stop by two parties.

Don't do that.

You want me to drink and drive?

Okay.

Man, we had all kinds of fucking natty-daddies ready to go, but I guess I'll just pour him out.

What about you, Q?

You doing anything?

I was considering doing something, but I'm just going to go to my parents now.

Yeah, just hanging out with my parents.

Yeah, you had mentioned you might do something, and then I didn't hear, so I was like, I don't think he's going to plan it two or three days prior.

Yeah, no,

there was nothing to be done.

My father's not, he's fine, but he's just having like a couple of health things going on.

So just gonna get over there and hang out yeah troy asked me if i wanted to come to his place and that would be fun it would be fun but getting to long island on a holiday weekend is just something i feel like i'm not currently prepared to tackle dude getting to long island on a wednesday afternoon is like is a is a horror show like it's just i i have a brother my younger brother lives out there and i love him and his family very dearly but i could never see him because i'm like i'm sorry you live you live like 16 miles away and it takes almost three hours to get there.

I'm like, I can't.

When we lived in L.A., we lived in West Hollywood.

And if somebody was like, hey, come down to Santa Monica, it's like, fuck you.

Fuck you.

Seven miles.

Crazy.

Yeah, yeah.

So.

It's going to take me two hours.

Yeah.

Yeah.

So

Helen is going to Rupert's house.

Walt, I assume you're going to stay home.

I don't know.

I don't know.

You want to pop in?

Yeah.

You want to hang out with him and Edgar?

I'm thinking maybe going to the movies, but

Are you going to go see Indiana?

Probably.

Yeah.

I didn't hear good things.

I have.

Have you?

Yeah, I've heard

some reports back that it was way better than they thought it was going to be.

So that gives me hope.

I saw it yesterday.

And I would say that's my

one-word, one-line review: it's better than I thought it would be.

There you go.

Because after Crystal Skull, everybody expects shit.

Yeah.

Yeah, it feels different.

The main complaint is that, like, it just,

it's all the CGI.

You're just like the CGI.

It's like Indiana Jones was never, he was always practical, stuntman effects.

And then every once in a while you'd see a really shitty like plane effect or like them in the cart in Temple of Doom when it's clearly puppets.

But that was part of the charm.

Now it's just like...

It looks like every, it looks like every Marvel movie, it's just, you don't even know, like, they're standing on a street and you're like, the street doesn't look real.

You know what I mean?

You're like, it all looks fake, which is kind of a bummer.

But yeah, I don't think, you know,

I don't think you're not going to walk out of it like Crystal Skull being like, oh, fuck this.

Right.

Yeah, you go back to Raiders, that huge set piece with the plane and

everything going on with the, you know, with the fuel truck leaking, him getting into the fight with the Nazi guy, and it's just so epic.

Yeah, there's very little of that.

There's very little.

Thank God we put a mic on, get him to me.

Thank God,

we were savvy enough to set up an extra mic in case he spoke.

Yeah, I knew he couldn't do double duty.

Just watch the numbers.

Just watch the numbers.

How's those numbers look?

Still going up?

Keel, you'll be interested to hear this.

I have a shrink appointment next week, next Wednesday.

Whoa.

Hey, that's great, man.

Yeah.

It was made, the appointment was made without my knowledge, so that should give you a hint as to how well my wife's life is going right now.

Oh, no, really?

What happened?

I think she's just like, I think she's concerned for me.

So she was like,

I got to do something.

And he's not doing it.

So I'll make an appointment.

What's been going on?

Just

like more short-tempered.

Like like snapping type stuff.

Not the depression as much, but more like on-edge constantly type shit.

So I'm going to address that.

Like the other day, we're pulling out of the driveway and Mary Beth goes, oh, there's a car coming.

I'm like, do you want to fucking drive?

Do you want to get

behind the wheel and drive then?

And she's like, I'm just telling you.

And I'm like, and moments after that, I'm like, I'm sorry.

Like,

before I even know it, it's out there.

And I feel like a total asshole.

So I want to, you know, address it.

And obviously she wants me to address it.

So this is.

Good.

So you will go to this doctor and this is more

where you speak to him more than he like where he look he doesn't like do any kind of invasive like look inside your head right no i don't think so well he's a psychiatrist so he can pre he can uh prescribe medicine but i don't think i'll be sitting there talking to him for like an hour that's more of a psychologist thing okay so

okay

all right so i so the only way he can tell what's going on is just by speaking to you like he can't take an x-ray right right no no i got to tell him and then he has to hope that i'm being honest

is there a chance you might not be no i'll be honest yeah i don't see there there's really no reason i would lie about shit i mean if i'm telling all these people that i'm an asshole snapping at my wife for no reason

i'll sure as fuck i'll tell the doctor so we're gonna see how that is and they address the depression the anxiety the add the eid all this fucking shit

what's that iid what's that iid intermittent explosive disorder that's the anger that comes out for no reason

oh i felt bad yeah so i apologized and she made the appointment and I said I would definitely go.

And I've been really trying to watch myself with that kind of stuff.

In fact, you're making a public apology right now.

And this is something I rarely do.

Yeah.

I've got lots of things to apologize for that I won't.

This I make a public apology for to my wife.

I felt bad.

That's good, dude.

I think that's good.

And I'm very happy that she took those steps, man, because,

you know, you're a great guy

and you have a rich life with plenty of people that love you.

So it's like, you just should feel that and you don't.

Yeah, I don't.

Yeah.

I'm going to start feeling it soon.

Oh, I got doxxed.

Did you get doxxed, Walt?

You know what?

My address, my home address for the last like six years has been on every Patreon package.

Oh, you put your home address.

We couldn't figure out how to take it off.

I couldn't ever figure out how to take it off.

I was like, fuck it.

If they want to find out, they can find out.

That is how I felt because last Saturday, no, I didn't see it until Monday.

But last Saturday, I got a voicemail.

And it was like, hey, this is Ben.

I'm coming down to the store.

No, I'm reading the transcription.

I didn't like listen to it.

I'm reading the transcription.

And it says, like, tell him Steve Dave.

I'm like, what the fuck?

Like, what is this?

So I listened to it.

And this is Monday, two days after somebody sent it.

And it's a guy.

He's like, hey, my name is Ben.

I'm coming down with my son, Liam.

And I.

want to see the store and we love tell him Steve Dave and all this other stuff.

And I'm like, how the fuck did he get this number?

Like, my the only thing I could think of was that, like, somebody put it online, and he happened to see it or whatever.

So I'm sitting there trying to figure it out, and I'm like, fuck it, I'll text him.

I'll just add, like, how did you get this number?

These fucking morons at Airport Plaza.

Oh, this is an asshole.

This is an idiot.

I think.

Oh, did he?

Yeah, that's why I said he probably talked to you, too.

I have to go down there and be like, is there any way you cannot give away our personal phone numbers to anybody who fucking calls?

In their defense, I'm probably,

they probably assume that one of the numbers is a we have like a landline here.

Don't assume.

I know.

Don't assume I agree with you.

Yeah.

So I'm texting with the guy and I'm all fucking worked up because I'm like, who the fuck gave my number away?

Then I started texting with him.

He's a nice guy.

Now I got a new text buddy.

So if you want to be my friend, all you have to do is find out my number.

I was on vacation and I got a call and I was just like,

How did you get this number?

And he goes, oh, I called Deerport Plaza.

Yeah.

I mean, this guy was a mega fan.

I mean, he's calling every number that he can get.

He was that worried about not making it to the general store.

He kind of deserves it.

I was like, what the fuck, man?

So, yeah.

Got docked by Airport Plaza.

You know what?

And

I know now Knock on Wood, and I go, I should never, you know, say this because as soon as I do, it's going to backfire or, you know, something will happen.

But in all those times, I never nothing, but my address being out there, nothing ever really happened.

Nothing.

Absolutely zero.

Wasn't there a guy

when you worked at the Stash?

Wasn't there a guy who's like, I'm coming down there and I'm going to get you?

He was like, he was from Florida or something.

And he's like, I'm watching you across the street that was power ring.

That was an eBay transaction.

I went south.

What was fucked up was he said he was watching me through the window.

And he goes,

I know you have

a big window and I could see you through it.

And I looked over and I was like, damn, he's right.

There is is a big window he could see me through.

I don't know if you just got lucky or you did a Google, like, what's that Google search thing where you could see like street view?

I don't know.

But yeah, that was a little freaky, though.

And I remember thinking to myself, maybe I should report this guy.

But yeah, nothing ever happened about that either.

I watch a series on Discovery Plus called Stalked.

Don't bother reporting them because

there are ladies who are like being stalked by guys who do the most like obscene and over-the-top shit.

and they bring it to the cops and they're like yeah we can't do anything about it now granted this was like maybe in the early 2000s most of these cases but still it was after the uh was this uh schaefer rebecca schaefer girl uh my sister sam remember yeah yeah uh

if you're not familiar with that case it was a an actress in the 80s uh her name was rebecca schaefer she was on a show called my sister sam and there was a guy who was uh kept harassing her and stalking her and all this other shit and uh it turned out that the uh

the the guy had a private detective or something.

A private detective went to motor vehicles.

Like motor vehicles used to just give away your information back then in the 80s.

So the dude walks up to her front door.

She opens it and he fucking shoots her to death.

And so after that, they started making stalking laws a little bit more, a little stronger.

But not according to this is like 15 years later.

People are still like, what the fuck?

So you're telling me if I went to the police and I was like, yeah, there's this guy I sold some books to, he's now referring to me as Flan Pig

and calling me a Mick.

He keeps calling me a Mick.

I think that's a slur, officer.

It's the F-word.

Expected to deal with that.

Yeah, that's what he would.

He would call me the Mick, and he would call me Flam Pig.

And I just called him a virgin.

I just say, shut up, Virgin.

And I mean, that's why I would.

I didn't know what he, I don't have no idea what he looked like or anything.

Get him with steaming.

How do you know?

How do you know it was me?

Yeah, you would call me Flampig, though.

I still have those emails.

Yeah, I think if you went to the cops, they'd be like, we need more than this.

Yeah.

He called you Mick.

There's a TV show called The Mick.

I think that's an Irish slur, though.

Oh, it definitely is.

Yeah, okay.

I thought that's what it was.

For sure.

I remember a long time ago, Kevin and I went, we used to, God damn, we had nothing to do.

Like in the late 80s, we would go to the Atlantic College Courthouse when it was court night, and we we would sit there and just watch the cases, see if anybody we knew.

And there was this judge, Ronnie Horan, and he said that he said something about like this Irish guy who's like him being drunk and being a mick and shit.

Like this is the judge saying this shit

from his judge seat or whatever, his little pulpit.

From the bench.

From the bench, yes.

Offending Irishmen everywhere.

I didn't like it.

Q, I'm sure you're familiar with Hot Girl Summer, right?

You're up on things.

No, but I'm interested.

What's going on?

Hot Girl Summer is a song song by Megan the Trainer.

Okay.

Is that her name?

Megan the Stallion.

Megan the Stallion.

Not Megan Trainer.

Megan the Stallion.

Who's sitting at Megan 3 Stallion?

Megan 3 Stallion.

It looks like that, but yeah.

Yeah.

And basically, it's a song.

It's an empowering song for women to like embrace yourself, embrace your looks, embrace your weight, all this other shit.

I say that for Patreon, what we do is Fat Boy Summer because I've been getting really into power washing shit, stuff around the house, like real simple stuff.

Like, like, like, power washing isn't like I'm changing something electrical.

Like, you can see your progress, and it's so fucking easy.

Well, yeah, anyone can do it.

You're just pointing any hose at something and knocking mold off and shit.

But there is a sense of accomplishment.

You can point your hand holding a hose.

You can power wash.

I can do that.

I didn't even call Edgar.

I was like, fuck it.

I'm a man.

Fuck you, daddy.

So i have been though on a group text with other fellow homeowners i'm on a group text with tom and

oh millishowski yeah and uh rupert

because you know they're they've been doing their they've been doing their weeds they've been doing their pools you know tom texted me the other day he's been chainsawing some he didn't want to send me a picture of his chainsaw because he said it was little and i believe it yeah i believe it i believe it's fucking barely a chainsaw it said play table on the sidewalk

i can't see him holding a chainsaw.

I see him holding it like it's radioactive.

As soon as he turns on, it just drops it.

He's pinching it like a dirty sock or something.

Starts chasing around the yard.

My idea, though, is like, you know, we get some, we get, you know, maybe Victor or Chuck to shoot us doing the like, you know, power washing, maybe some slow motion of like Rupert like shirtless.

Most of our audience is guys.

And the slimmest fraction of 13%ers would find our forms even remotely attractive.

But there is, there are some people, the chubby chasers, right?

Get them?

Oh, yeah.

I was thinking of adding Getham, too.

Like, get them can come.

You can come to my place.

Or you could do it at the horse farm.

Like, you go to the horse farm.

And then we just record ourselves all sweaty.

Like, we convince people that Rupert has a five-star dick, and then all the girls get excited and shit, you know.

Wife might be a little upset about that, but.

Who?

Your wife?

No, his wife.

Who, Rupert?

Yeah.

It doesn't matter, though.

Okay.

It doesn't matter.

Who's getting chased by all these girls?

Rupert needs to make a couple extra bucks.

Okay.

In fact, he's going to have to pretend that he got divorced so that people think he's attainable.

Bet I do.

You want to join in?

Get your power washer?

I'll direct.

Yes.

Tell me, Walt, like.

That's where you're best in the director's seat.

You're right.

A 12-month calendar isn't a good Patreon gift.

I think a calendar is a more,

it's a better idea.

Yeah.

Because then you can airbrush.

Okay.

You can't airbrush a lot of video.

I don't know.

I just saw it.

I saw the wheel right there.

I just saw Harrison Ford looking 25 years old the other day running around in a fucking movie.

Wait, we didn't think Chuck or Vic could do that?

We don't have Disney's fucking CGI fucking budget.

The DHS, like Kurt Russell and shit.

Yet they couldn't do a single thing about his voice.

He sounds like a grizzled old man.

He does.

I noticed that.

I was like, wow,

they left his 80-year-old voice in the 30-year-old body.

It was like,

you're like, what?

What's.

Yeah, but it didn't look real.

You saw it, Kennedy?

I tried watching a camera version of it, and it looked good on the camera version because it's blurry.

But they got it just.

Should we say that out loud?

What's that?

That he's watching cam versions of big-budget movies?

While we're at the KFC with free Wi-Fi?

Yes.

Less than a month ago, he admitted to trying to kill senior citizens on the road.

Do you think the cam

things that have fucking matter at all?

Yeah, they should just stop de-aging.

They should just stop.

Hollywood, like, just stop de-aging.

It doesn't.

Well, what happened in The Irishman, too, with Robert De Niro, like when he was stomping out that guy in the most standout moment of the movie, I think, which was like, what the fuck?

This looks like shit.

Like, this looks like a young Robert De Niro who's like, whose muscles have atrophied.

He can barely move.

Like, when he's stomping the guy out, I don't know.

Like, look, I don't know.

I don't know that I'm somebody to tell Martin Scorsese, like, you should have shot it like this.

That being said, they really should have went up on him, like in Goodfellas.

Like, remember when Jimmy Conway was like just stomping out the Billy Bats and shit?

Like, why didn't you just shoot it like that so he didn't look so decrepit?

I also cue with the de-aging thing, though.

Why don't they go the Mission Impossible way and just use latex masks?

It fucking works so well.

Well, I think the latex masks and Mission Impossible are CGI.

I don't think they're actually latex masks.

Oh, no, they're not.

You see them put them on and take them off.

I've seen an X-Wing fly into a Death Star.

That doesn't even

master.

But I always wondered why they went away from that because, you know, the right makeup man and a latex mask can do fucking, I think, better work than CGI.

You're probably right.

Put it this way.

It doesn't work.

Like, I thought,

what's his name?

Samuel Jackson and Captain Marvel, probably I thought was like the most acceptable of it all, but like, maybe it has something to do with his skin tone.

But, dude, Indiana, you're just like, you just have to be like, I'm watching a video game.

I'm just watching a video game because it looks, doesn't look right.

You know what I mean?

Yeah.

Yeah.

What do I know?

I don't know nothing.

I know what you know.

You know how great Miundis is.

I would if they fucking sent them to me.

They, I don't, I have a feeling that Q has a stockpile of Miundis at his old place.

Because I have triple-checked.

Yeah, and Marybeth tells me that Helen said that he gets them, that this is an act.

This is a work, as they say.

This is not a work.

This is really Quinn just bitching because he evidently wants a robe or maybe some little underwear for his cats.

I don't know what the fuck is going on.

I imagined he pissed off his postman and he's just got his pile at the post office.

Yeah, Marybeth checked for sure.

I mean, I'll fucking dial in Helen and

give her the.

Well, I can't.

All right, this week I can't, but next week I'll dial.

What's the emergency?

Yeah, that might be on the back barrier this week.

Yeah, I'll put that on the back barrier.

It's been a rough week over here at the Quinn Ponderosa.

Let's see.

Myundi's

believes that comfort is more about what's touching your skin.

It's about feeling comfortable in your skin.

That is the most important thing today, Walt.

Comfortable in your skin.

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Wait, what?

They're selling hoodies now?

That's what it says.

Yeah.

You want a hoodie?

No, I'm going to buy it.

Are you?

Yeah, I want to put my money in my mouth.

They sent me so many pairs of undies that I'm.

I mean, thousands of them.

Yeah, that it's okay for me now to suck it up and pick up a hoodie.

I believe they have dog hoodies as well.

Nah, my dogs don't like clothes.

People who put clothes on their pets are.

Watch it.

Watch it.

You never know what you're eccentric for.

The Associated Press is ringing me for a quote on that.

We don't need any more controversy over here.

Have a huge protest of dogs in costumes outside Airport Plaza.

I said eccentric.

You don't like anybody dressed.

You don't like cosplay.

You don't like canine cosplay.

You don't like any of it.

Let's see.

How do you feel when you wear your Miyundis?

I feel like, don't take this the wrong way, Miundis, but like they're not there at all.

That's how good they feel.

Let's see.

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Walt, I know you don't like

people who dress up dogs.

What about people who get their dogs braces?

Unless it's

for health reasons that the dog can't eat properly because his teeth are so jacked.

What if it's pure vanity?

Yeah.

Like grills?

Not grills, no, just like regular braces.

If Norm has a little bit of an underbite, you know, just pull it back a little bit.

Get him some braces so he looks a little more handsome.

Yeah, that's when you know you have too much money.

I'm sorry.

That's when you know that you don't know

how to handle money, that you're being talked into by your vet that your dog needs braces.

I'm just kidding.

She's not going to get him braces.

But did that get recommended?

Was I in front of it the other day?

I was just like, because Norm was making this dumb face, I was like, like, that dog needs fucking braces.

Sorry about it.

I was like, what are you talking about?

He's beautiful.

Doll keeps losing his retainer.

No, but she does.

Is this weird?

Because, you know, like, Norm, it turns out that they found, you know, the puppy that we just got recently, who's already a dog.

He's 40 pounds.

He's big.

He's going to grow to 75 pounds, the vet said.

Yeah, I know.

I got hoodwinked.

They found him in a ditch with his littermates, and his mom was dead.

Oh.

So he's an orphan.

Yeah, they found him down south.

I think the mom got hit by a car, and then they had the puppies.

Norm was the last of the litter.

We took him.

So Mary Beth then goes on Facebook

to the, I can't remember the name of the organization we got him from, but

No Paul Left Behind.

That's what it's called.

And she's looking to find his siblings so that she can get together with the owners.

And she's like, is that too weird?

Well, like money, like time can also be

ill-spent.

Yes, it's very similar.

She wanted to see if his siblings embraces her not.

See if Dormo's

the unfortunate.

Yeah.

When she said that, I was like, I don't want to do that.

She did find one of them, though.

She found one sibling.

It belongs to

this old couple.

But I'm like, if somebody called us, like, can we bring puppy?

Yo, we're pretty sure it's brothers with your puppy.

Did Airport Plotza give you this number?

No, we didn't.

So wait,

I think I missed.

Are we done with the Meandy's commercial?

Yep.

Oh, don't.

Okay.

I missed the point of the Hot Girl Summer thing.

What did you bring that up for?

Like, what is it?

You never explained what it is.

Oh, that's what it is.

It's just videos of like out-of-shape guys, Fat Boy Summer, embracing their fatness, because that's what you do these days.

And we just, you know, do a little Patreon video about it.

People go to the bottom of the video.

So that's what the song is.

That's what Megan Lee Stallion is doing?

That's what Megan Lee Stallion is saying.

And how are they celebrating Hot Girl Summer?

Right.

Like, how do they do do that?

What's that?

By watching the videos.

That's how you celebrate it.

By watching the videos?

Yeah.

Oh, so there's no events.

There's no ethos.

This is like videos.

I watch fail videos on YouTube and shit.

And there's like a lot.

It's like, it's hot girl summer, you know, like on TikTok or whatever.

And then they fall off a boat or something.

You know, an ironic video, like that kind of thing.

But what is hot girl summer?

I'm not sure what it is.

I've yet to.

It's a movement.

Yeah, it's a fucking movement, man.

I cannot.

What's the movement for?

I'm recognizing that.

What decade do you think it is?

How do I celebrate?

How do I help them?

How do I be an ally to leave them?

Yeah, you got to leave them alone, I think.

I was like, either like, it's up to them how they want to embrace

their physical appearance, how they want to embrace, you know, their sexuality, how they want to embrace what it is they like to do to have fun, all that stuff.

I don't think they need a fucking man, man-explaining how to have a good hot girl summer from BQ Quinn.

You'll get those hot girls.

That's why I'm asking.

That's hot.

That's how you start.

That's summer.

That's hot.

I'll start sweating.

I'll tell you why right now.

I've got my power washer.

I want to see a wet t-shirt.

Now.

So according to Urban Dictionary,

a hot girl summer is about just being you, just having fun.

It's turning up, driving the boat, and not giving a damn about what what nobody's saying.

It's a summer where you are in charge of your own happiness.

Well, that's not, you know, that's a in theory, that's a fucking

way everybody should be living, not just the

gals.

Yeah.

Right?

It is, but I mean, you need to be able to package and sell it in a song.

Well, I also love the thing that, like, everybody's hot, which means nobody's hot.

Which means nobody's hot, yeah.

Yeah, it's fucking ridiculous.

It's just girl summer.

You know what?

Like, yeah, if it was like hot guy summer, I would not take part because the last thing in the world I want is somebody being like, you're not allowed to take part, hot guy.

Who the fuck do you think you are?

They spray you with a hose.

They're like, get out of here.

Get the fuck out of here.

It's hot guy summer.

Oh, no, it's not.

Oh,

not for you.

Back to your cave.

Yeah.

Walt went on a road trip with Frank Five.

I did.

How was it?

I missed out.

It was cool.

It was all right.

We didn't see a lot of

your traditional

places that a lot of vacationers go.

We saw

more of the odd ball things

because Frank has this app where you can see

strange roadside attractions.

We did go to Myrtle Beach and went on a boardwalk.

Have you ever been to Myrtle Beach?

I have been years ago, yeah.

That's funny.

Shot Jokers, right?

We shot Jokers there, did we?

Yeah, when I came down to do the Jokers movie, I thought Myrtle Beach.

Oh, yeah, Myrtle Beach.

Great.

I thought you were going to say that's where the Jokers got shot at, and I would have believed it.

It was a rough fucking boardwalk, man.

I mean, as soon as you got out of the car, you just got hit in the face with fucking

the MJ.

Oh, these guys and the MJ.

The MJ was fucking.

No matter where they go, they're like, inescapable, Pew.

What's that?

Very on top of it, I bet.

Whoa, whoa, we're smoking back.

Like a bunch of truffle pigs walking outside.

That's all they do.

That's why they can't enjoy themselves.

Where is it coming from?

It's like, it's coming from everywhere.

You walk over to this side of the boardwalk, it's over there.

In the middle of the boardwalk, it's there.

At the other end of the boardwalk, it's there.

It was inescapable.

Meanwhile, like the entire fucking Canadian forest is burning down.

All the smokes come over on us.

That they're okay with.

A little bit of MJ.

It's overpowering, huh?

Like, everybody's doing it.

Oh, my God.

Yeah.

And

I guess there's like a little,

it's a unique boardwalk because

on one side, there's a boardwalk, and you get the back of the establishments.

And then on one side is the beach.

but then if you walk over one street over the front of the establishments

are in between this road where i guess it's just car after car and they're like idling because they're like i guess they're showing off their cars and stuff okay so there's a lot of fucking heavy bass music

that's gonna like that'll blow out your eardrums if if you stay down there too long so and it's an it's up kind of obnoxiously loud the way they'll do it you know like you know they turn it up to like 12.

Yeah, these kids, and you know, and you can't even hear what the song is.

It's just like

Frank did something weird.

Did you ever hear of something called Dragon's Breath?

Dragon's Breath?

Yeah, it's like this very unique

snack that I've never

seen anywhere before.

So like a horny goat weed?

No,

you know, ironically, it had nothing to do with fucking pot, considering that everything had to do with pot.

And you could buy pot fucking pants, shirts, hoodies, hats, fucking

sunglasses with pot leaves on them.

I mean, who needs that much pot paraphernalia?

I mean,

I don't think that anybody could be more into comics than I was in the 80s.

Like, and if I walked on a boardwalk and it was all comic book-related, like, fucking everything, pants, shirt, glasses, I would be like, I'm good with just a shirt, maybe, or a headband.

Like, I wouldn't need that much pot shit.

But it's called Dragon's Breath.

And what it was is

it's liquid nitrogen,

a canister of it.

And

it's the cable

from the canister, and it's a big canister, like something you'd see

at

a factory or something, a metal canister.

Yeah.

Okay.

And

oh you just you put it in your mouth well what happens is they put the um they put the this this tube from the canister into like a bucket and then they put this they put these

generic corn pops but they're not corn pops they're like they're like colorful ones so i guess they're like fruity corn pops okay

And they dump the corn pops into the bucket with a ladle and they try to get as much of the liquid nitrogen smoke into

the cereal.

And then

when you eat it, then

for like 10 seconds, like every orifice has smoke coming out of it.

And I told Frank, I was like, I don't think you should do it.

It was $12 too for a very little bowl of it.

And we looked it up because I was like, there's no way on earth that New Jersey would allow

a canister of liquid nitrogen

being monitored by a guy who makes like a sideshow Carney look fucking like Einstein.

He's wearing all-pop parrots.

I mean, this guy didn't look like he could tie his shoes, let alone fucking manage liquid nitrogen.

The tube was frozen.

Right.

The tube from the canister to the bucket was absolutely covered with thick encased ice.

And he put it in his mouth, and he's fucking, Frank is like the talk of the boardwalk.

Everybody's coming up to him like, What's it feel like?

Is your mouth cold?

Oh, okay.

So now he's a popular guy.

But we looked it up, and if your mouth is too dry when you put it into your mouth, there was no warning of this at the stand, but it could take the skin off your tongue and the top of roof of your mouth.

Just take it right off if your mouth is too dry.

Thankfully, Frank had a moist palate.

He's got a juicy mouth.

Yeah, but he was living dangerously.

He's like he, he, that's something I wouldn't do, but yeah, he took the uh, the dragon's breath plunge or challenge.

Yeah, well, what was the reward of it afterwards?

Was he like, that was worth it, or he's like, fuck, I wish I had that 12 bucks back?

Uh, no, I think it was just the experience, like, hey, I did it, you know,

I won't do it again.

For 10 minutes, I was a gun on the Myrtle Beach Boardwalk.

Hot boy summer!

We stopped at a roadside place that was very, maybe you're in, maybe you'd be into this, Q.

It was Civil War-related, but it was

an artist who created these

life-size, we're talking life-size sculptures of dinosaurs

teaming up with the South to win the Civil War.

I could not.

Wait, what was this?

Yeah, I think Q's of volume is going down.

Is it?

Wait.

So the dinosaurs are wearing like the Dixie flag.

Like they're fully on the side

of

the slave-owning southerners?

Yeah,

you would see

one South soldier, a rebel soldier, is on the back of this dinosaur.

He's riding it, and he's equipped two

of those Gatling shotguns that you turn

on either shoulder of the dinosaur.

It's a sculpture.

It's huge.

And then you see on like across the it's all in the woods too.

It's like in the set in the middle of the woods and

over to the like about a hundred yards away are all the soldiers who are getting hit by the fucking bullets.

Wow.

So even dead Union Army people he's he's creating.

Yeah, there was you know like a dinosaur that

is is like stealing the underwear out of a bucket

like as some guy is trying to get get ripped like wash up at a campsite like a soldier.

I guess this was the humorous portion as his underwear is being taken away and he's kind of like chasing the dinosaur kind of like in a rage.

But get him found it.

Wow.

Yeah, those pictures are crazy.

Yeah,

that was interesting.

And I'll tell you, like, they haven't given up the fight down here.

They have not.

They haven't forgotten.

They are still a little bit sore about the outcome of that war.

Well, we noticed that when we went down to do

reboot, I guess it was a reboot.

Yeah, like when we stopped at flea markets or little stores, it's like Confederate flag everywhere.

Yeah, and the pot leaf.

I don't know who's winning that fight, but

whoever trademarked the flag and the pot leaf is fucking more wealthier than Bill Gates.

Yeah.

It is, it's, it is unfortunate because the Confederate flag is such a fucking cool looking flag

that it is that, because it's a pretty dope flag.

But you got to wonder, those people who are like, like, look, it's a generational thing, right?

Like, it gets handed down.

Like, they lost the war, they got humiliated, they got a way of life forced upon them, and they've passed down that anger from generation to generation.

But at a certain point, doesn't somebody's grandson be like, wait a minute, the defining issue here was slavery.

Like, what, you know what I mean?

No, they're not like, you know, like, there's got to be a way that we can allow them to

latch onto and hug that rebel fucking spirit and like pride, but also divorce it from slavery because they haven't done that yet.

They haven't sold that yet.

I know.

The attention span of most Americans is so minuscule.

How on earth are they still fixated on this?

It's so many generations removed.

It's a crazy question.

Well, why don't we get a southerner to explain that?

Hey, all right, I'll be up next week.

We stopped at many flea markets, queue.

Bra, you, I know you probably are like, man, I missed out.

Yeah, I cannot imagine you, though, digging the amount of flea markets.

I would have been like, fuck this.

I'm talking like two a day.

Really?

Yeah.

And they're open like seven days a week.

They're almost like antique centers.

There's

major antique centers that you go into.

And I got to say, though, it reaffirmed my

um

not pride but my um admiration for the people who go seven days a week to these stalls in the hopes that they are going to sell half a bottle of aftershave yeah old spice no so it wasn't one of the it was like some green it was like maybe no i don't know it was one that i've seen before but i haven't seen it in years.

But it's an open bottle of aftershave,

half empty, amongst other garbage.

And there is still a commitment to show up to work every fucking day in a fucking building in the south that's not fucking air-conditioned.

Oh, that's rough.

I cannot, I walked out of here going, like, I don't know how these people do it, but man, they are fucking amazing.

I'm not sure what to do with that.

How much money do you think they're pulling in with your

eye?

Your

expert eye?

My expert eye is somebody who's been on the other side a little bit, not where they're going and not the trenches they're in.

But I have been on the other side selling collectibles and shit.

I say there's days where they don't make anything.

I say there's plenty of days when they walk out of there with zero things sold for that day because it is pure

garbage and so much of it that no one can even look through it.

It's just a hoarder's delight.

I think

that might be why I don't like it.

It's just like it just has the, it reeks of that desperation like, hey, man, I need to pay bills.

Do you want to buy half a bottle of aftersheep?

No, I don't.

Sorry, man.

Have you guys ever heard of something called Cece's?

Cece's?

Yeah, Cece's Pizza.

I see commercials for it all the time and always tell myself, it's like, I want to go to Cece's so bad.

We finally saw one on the road, so we stopped.

I had no idea it was um a buffet oh okay it's a pizza buffet

and

i shit you not if there were

25 families in there there may have been 50 families in there on a sunday

and it was

like

fend for yourself motherfucker

because it was madness how many people were in there and like i didn't bring my glasses in so I couldn't tell.

They're just throwing out pies onto the buffet table, and I can't tell if it's plain or not because I don't have my glasses.

So, by the time I get up and decipher, get real close to see if there's anything on these pies that might like,

it's all gone.

There's like a billion hands that just went in.

It's like, you ever see that

video of the ranch house or the farmhouse that's overrun by mice?

Yeah, yeah.

There is something akin to that, as like these little hands come in and just start grabbing all the pizza slices.

And I couldn't even tell by the time I can figure out if it was plain or not, it's all gone.

By the time you got your glasses, I was like, God damn these kids.

And it is a rough crowd.

So it's not like I could be like, oh, whoa, whoa, whoa, let me, can I please, you know, I was here first.

Right.

Because even the kids had tattoos.

I mean, there was no way.

I just had to sit there and kind of like wait.

And it was.

One of the best tasting pizzas I've ever had.

Really?

Wow.

That was the takeaway.

I was like, I am fucking depressed because I'll probably never get CCs again.

And it was that.

Because it's not nearby or because of the clientele.

No, no, it was just because it's not nearby.

It was so far away.

The nearest one is...

In Jersey at all or no?

No, none in Jersey.

Anymore.

Anymore.

I didn't realize there was one, but it closed down years ago.

I'm not even fucking with you.

The people serving the pizza had to be on some sort of prison release.

Oh, yeah.

They had tattoos, but on their fucking face.

Just Just all up and down the sides of their cheeks and everything.

And like, I'm not, I'm the, I mean, maybe I turn my nose up at, you know, a lot of pot smoking, but I don't turn my nose up at tattoos.

Unless it's on your fucking face.

It's so fucking unnerving.

That's a commitment that few are willing to make.

And if you're one of the few,

regular people got to keep an eye on you.

It's not a fucking normal.

It's not a normal decision that normal people make.

It is not.

And it's so intimidating.

Yeah.

You know, because I'm like, is it, because he's writing put it down, I'm going going to ask him, is there going to be a plane pie coming out soon?

And I'm like, I'm trying to get the nerve up to even ask the guy.

Right.

And he's just throwing, just throwing pies down, throwing pies on her.

It's on a conveyor belt.

And every pie is like some sort of special pie.

Right.

Like it's got bacon on it or it's got fucking mushrooms or it's got what look like fucking marshmallows one of these pies.

I don't know, like pineapples, anything you can think of.

Apparently, plane doesn't fly down south.

No, they don't like it.

No.

So I asked the guy, and he just looked at me and said something.

I don't even know what it was, but I like.

You just took your glasses off your face, broke them, and then both were gone.

I have no idea what he said.

I couldn't understand it, but I just went back to the table and I said to Frank and my we should go.

I don't know if he said something.

I don't know.

He sounded like he was mad.

And I asked if there was a plain pie coming out soon.

Frank's trying to impress more people.

But damn good pizza, man.

Anyone who has ever, who has never eaten at a C-season, if you see one, give it a try.

It was fucking delicious.

I like on how, how many days were you gone?

Like five?

Oh, yeah, almost six.

Almost six, yeah.

Like, that's the most passionate takeaway is how good that pizza was.

It was so damn good.

And the whole time I'm driving, I'm like, I'll probably never get to taste it again.

Yeah.

Yeah, that was the, that was the melancholy part of the drive.

Roll out of the car 80 miles an hour.

Fuck it all.

Driving to a Confederate dinosaur at full speed.

Walking away from Cece's like Bruce Banner, looking over his shoulder.

He just hits his horde

and slammed into a dinosaur at full speed.

If not for Frank, I would not have eaten, though, probably, because he was the only one that had enough balls.

This pushy New Yorker fucking went in there and got me a couple slices.

Oh, there you go.

Yeah.

Actually, I thought I had grabbed a plain slice, but it had

barbecue.

So when I tasted it and I bit into it, it was

apparently the most embarrassing thing anybody, ever, anybody

who was with me

had ever seen the way that they just like fucking wanted to be, they just hid their face because I over there.

Well, I over I spit it out and I fucking ran up to the soda dispenser.

Put your mouth on that one.

I think they made a bigger deal than I did about it.

And I think the only other thing of note was we we stopped at the the town that Mayberry is based upon, Andy Griffith's hometown.

That smelled like whoa.

God damn it.

The only place that did not smell like pot on the whole trip.

That keeps it real.

It's Mayberry.

It smelled like sunshine on white people.

It's Mayberry.

But we saw Andy Griffin Museum

that was pretty impressive.

Like the building that they built for this

in his honor is top-notch and

like

really, really like, you know, you would thought it was for like somebody of

a bigger stature.

Not that I'm saying Andy Griffith isn't, but this fucking museum was amazing.

And again, a little bit of melancholy as I left it because I was like, I don't think the generation after us

will be visiting this

real Mayberry

because I just think that after we're gone nobody's gonna fucking know who Andy Griffith was or that TV show

yeah I mean I can't see how you're wrong and I and I like and then we went and we had lunch at the at one of the diners on the main street and I just was looking around being like they don't know it but they're all on borrowed time and this is this ain't gonna last

they don't know it but like I think they know it

as they see the receipts dwindle with each passing day,

they're on to it.

And every shop on Main Street is selling Andy Griffith merch.

So there's a lot of competition, you know, because they're selling almost the same stuff in every store.

That hardly anybody wants to begin with, probably.

Did you buy anything?

Did you buy any souvenirs?

I wanted to get a T-shirt, but I never did find a good Andy Griffith T-shirt that like, you know, that rocked my world.

They're all just kind of pedestrian.

Yeah.

You know how they

say, you know, you know how they have those

t-shirts with like Mal Monroe with like sleeves of tattoos and shit like that?

Yeah.

You could, they could, they could start like making Andy Griffith with like a pot leaf behind them.

Sleeves and stuff.

Crush my soul.

Bring them into the future.

Yeah, and then you'll see people.

They had in fact, there are any ants out there that could come up with a photo of Andy Griffith's arm folded, tattoos running up it with a joint sticking out of his mouth and a big popcorn.

We're looking in your direction, BS Jet.

Yeah, man.

I would wear that shirt if I came in possession of it.

He has those digital sunglasses on, Andy Griffith, like he limits a spin.

No, no, no, they do Barney, and he called Thug Fife.

Thug Fife.

Turn his mic off.

Can you please turn that off?

How are the numbers looking?

There was a pink Floyd shirt that I liked there.

Yeah.

Because it was the Floyd the Black.

Barbara Barber.

Yeah, but I couldn't find it in my size, though.

All the larges were out of stock.

That tells you something.

And I don't think they were restocking.

I think that they were like, fucking, we're going to sell this stock.

We sold the last large?

They probably sold it years ago.

Yeah, the only size anybody really wants.

Yeah, but that was the trip.

It was cool.

It was nice.

Again, no, we didn't see a lot of

the big tourist attractions, though.

know, we kind of kept it on

the outskirts of those things.

We're taking the back road.

Gotcha.

The road less traveled.

Yeah, there you go.

That romanticizes it, doesn't it?

Yeah.

All right.

And we saw, oh, and we went to a red robin that sold fucking pizza.

That blew my mind.

That was fucking.

I couldn't believe it.

I couldn't even sit down before I was texting my daughters and being like, this red robin sells fucking pizza.

Pack your shit.

We're going to South Carolina.

Was that before or after Cece's?

That was before Cece's.

And then Cece's fucking blew that out of the water, though, because then, like, once I tasted Cece's, that was heavenly.

Yeah.

But that was my trip, though.

What's next for you?

Walt's doing some globetrotting this summer.

My summer is Fat Boy Summer with all my projects, doing some Patreon stuff with Sunday Jeff and Frank.

And Walt, you're doing some

more traveling.

I'm going to Toronto.

I thought you said Montreal.

No, no i think it's toronto toronto

going north of the border my daughter's going to some sort of music festival oh cool and uh we're gonna go with her and while she's at the festival we'll we'll see the sights of toronto oh that's great no bring in a friend whatever you're but um she's bringing her friend and

uh

we got a room in toronto

You would think that we're staying in fucking

like Paris or something.

Like the rates for a fucking hotel room in Toronto in the summer blew my mind.

It was like $500 a night for a room in Toronto.

Jesus.

Yeah.

$500?

$500.

Wow.

That's the

one.

And my wife was like, you know, maybe we should stay on the outskirts of Toronto.

That's Flatigan's always on the outskirts.

And I was like, yeah, but is it a good idea?

Like, if she's at the festival and she needs a ride, she needs me to pick her up.

Do I really want to be 60 minutes away or something?

Traffic Traffic getting in out of Toronto.

I don't know if it's bad or not.

I assume it must be.

And every major city, I imagine, has traffic problems.

I would think so.

And if they're commanding those kind of rates, it's a high season.

So there's going to be a lot of people around.

And then I'm going to New Hampshire for nine days.

Nine?

What the fuck's in New Hampshire for nine days?

Nine days?

Oh, my God.

Or Maine.

Is it Maine?

I don't know.

It's somewhere up Maine.

It's parts of Maine.

Yeah,

I mean, at least I know what's in Maine to do.

So it'll take two days to get there, two days to get back.

So you've got some travel time in there.

But yeah, I think five days in Maine, you can see a lot of shit.

Yeah.

Who's that?

Is it any of these with Frank Five, or it's just you?

No, these are all now family trips.

Oh, are you a little disappointed in that?

Would you like to get a little Frank Five actually?

I mean, if he wanted to come, I wouldn't care.

But I think he's had his fill of me with

the

backseat driving.

I'm sure it's not fun.

Backseat driving.

Why are you doing the dragon's breath stuff?

Another 30 seconds.

Marge is an animated squirrel going, Don't do that.

Don't do that.

I think he gets nagged more by me than Mrs.

Fogg.

The best part is when he falls asleep.

If he's slowly changing music, he doesn't notice it.

And you finally get to listen to something you like.

An oasis of silence for a little while.

I got you.

Brian and I have some more hours.

We got to plan the Gettysburg trip, right?

We're going to do that in July.

Yeah, I guess.

Did you get my text?

I sent you.

Jokers don't return texts.

I text Q, I text Sal, nobody fucking answers me.

They're too busy.

They're too important, these guys.

We're not too.

We're in the middle of fucking a really rough time right now, so it's a little stressful.

Dude, I texted you a fucking picture of two

Gettysburg books I'm going to read.

You have to to understand that.

You don't answer that.

You have to understand that every time I pick up my phone, it's fucking 10 texts of bad news that make me want to pull my fucking hair out and kill myself, and then one text.

And I have to answer the 10 texts because they're fucking business texts.

So by the time I get to the fucking 11 text, I'm like, I got to fucking go out in my yard and cry.

I just got to go and cry.

So then I lose.

But at least I know this.

My text isn't a business text, and it's not going to make you lose your mind.

You're going to see those Gettysburg books, and you're going to be like, oh, okay, this is cool.

So you don't even have to answer me.

I know.

No, no, you're wrong.

You shouldn't have let me off the hook.

Don't let me off the hook.

You're absolutely right.

There's no reason I didn't answer that text.

Like, take a deep breath, fucking suck it up, and answer your friend's text.

That's that's that's what I should do.

Yeah, pass that on to Sal.

I said, I gave him a compliment.

He didn't even answer me to fucking jerk.

Everybody who's listening to this, go on Twitter.

Call Sal a jerk for me.

I was listening to his

podcast.

Actually, it wasn't a compliment.

It was more of a statement.

I told him I had heard it, and it was funny.

It was the story about when he slammed his hand in the car door down in New Orleans.

Oh, he told that story on his show.

Joe Vandor, yeah, and he tells Joe DeRosa, he's like, and do you want to know the first thing he did?

He mocked me.

And then DeRosa dies.

Open the door.

Open the door.

Open the door.

I know what I want to talk about just for a minute here, Walt.

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Oh, yeah.

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I've been using them a lot with this, all this power washing.

Yeah.

I got to listen to shit.

It's too boring.

It's way too boring.

It was, I think my Raycons were more vital to me on my trip, my road trip, than deep-body deodorant.

Yeah.

Yeah.

If I had to pick one to lose on the road, I'd be like, lose a deodorant.

I barely sweat anyway.

The other three wouldn't have agreed.

Like all he's doing is bossing us around and sticking up the car.

But yeah, I need the Raycons.

Over deodorant, over anything, I would like.

The Raycons are so important.

Absolutely.

Because my wife goes to bed.

We're not the

energetic 20-somethings anymore.

So like, so on a vacation.

I remember you guys when you were 20-somethings.

I remember a lot of energy.

So we probably would turn in, like

the night would end probably around 9 o'clock.

And then we'd be like, okay, you want to, you know, we'll get some rest and we'll meet up again at 8 o'clock in the morning and we'll, you know, get up back on the road.

But my wife goes to bed.

Like, she's in bed.

If we, if we're in back to the room at nine, she's in bed by and sleeping by nine thirty.

And I can't have the TV TV on then.

Oh, she can't see the TV on?

No, so I had to fucking pop on the Raycons

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I don't even know what that means.

It's like

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And if you turn on awareness mode, you can hear stuff around you.

Oh, okay.

It's sort of like a mic so that you can, like, you know, if say you're walking down the street or riding a bike or something like that, where you want to be aware of your car.

She's just driving a car.

Sure.

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okay uh waltz that was i can't remember what it was but earlier you said like that's something i wouldn't do and it made me wonder i mean i was wondering over the the, I think about you guys a lot.

Like, when I'm like doing my power washing, like, I always think of stuff to ask you guys.

I'm like, if they were here, this is what I'd say to them.

But with both of you guys,

if you were prior to the disaster, if you were offered a position on the submersible for free, would you have gone?

No.

Absolutely, positively not.

Not a chance.

No, I'm with Walt.

You wouldn't get me on the submersible.

Wouldn't go on it.

How come?

No fucking way.

I mean, I just would have looked.

Look, I don't.

I just wouldn't have done it, man.

Like, I would look at that and assume something's going to go wrong and I'm going to die.

I don't want to be.

It's not like airplanes, you know, where we've all been in them and they've been tested for hundreds of years and they're safe.

Like, literally, this is like half the time people go down in these things, like, something goes wrong.

It just doesn't look comfortable.

It's not my thing, man.

I wouldn't do it either.

I don't like confined spaces.

I wouldn't say, like, I'm not going to go so so far as to say I'm claustrophobic, but that kind of shit I would not like because

I don't even like having people drive me to parties and shit.

Because, like, at any moment, if I want to go, I want to know that I can go.

And in a fucking sub, that's not happening.

And then you look inside that thing, it's so small.

People are shitting into baggies.

There's no way that you can go.

I didn't hear that.

Yeah, they're like, well, how long are they going to be?

Well, you've got to assume that they're not shitting while they're.

I mean, it's only a fucking six-hour, you know what I mean?

Like, they're not going to be like, what?

You can't fucking suck it up and like.

or does the pressure make you, but since you're down here, does that make your bowels have to like go?

Because then don't they depressurize it as you go down further?

Get them?

No, and you have no fucking sense of privacy, though, if you got to go there.

They had a little

curtain.

What videos are you guys watching?

I saw no so many videos I saw about this submarine and everything that went wrong.

Not one

about the toilet, though.

Did you Google submersible feces?

Because I did.

Yeah, that was something, man.

And then, like, the one thing I noticed about

after it imploded and they were, it turned out they were dead and all that is the people that were like, good, fuck those rich motherfuckers.

And I'm like, oh, they'll always come out, these insensitive fucking.

I didn't get it.

It's like, how, how much money do you have to have before somebody's not like, good, I'm glad you're dead?

Like, what, what's your income?

Especially the

19-year-old Indian kid who's like, I didn't even want to do it.

I didn't want to do it.

My fucking annoying dad made me do it.

Now I'm dead.

I'm imploded.

Yeah.

Yeah.

That didn't look like.

I mean, it's like, look, if you're telling me, hey, you want to get in the submarine and it's going down

20 feet, 25 feet, you can look at the fishies, see the fucking coral.

I might be like, ah, that sounds like fun.

Like, if something goes wrong, I can swim to the surface.

Universal Studios ride.

Yeah, like, yeah, right.

The Nautilus.

Like, in Disney, right, the Nautilus in Disney, like that, I'm down for it.

But, like, you're like

two miles below the ocean?

Well, I heard it was deeper than

Everest is taller.

Yeah, that's what I read too.

You know how fucking deep that is?

Yeah.

It's staggering to the human mind to think how far down you're going.

And I'm seeing all these videos now about, you know, the creator, the CEO, and the guy who made it.

it's like

I was told I couldn't make it out of this carbon fiber.

I did it anyway.

And I did it.

It's so sad, but it's also just like,

what was wrong with this guy, though?

Like, why did he?

I mean, a guy this smart had to know that it was possible this would happen.

And then he went in the fucking sub.

Yeah, he went with him, yeah.

Well, it had, it had been down once or twice before.

Right.

And it's based, yeah, and it's based on technology that NASA was trying to develop for, I believe, a mission to Europa.

Where's that?

It's a moon of Jupiter.

And they were going to send a remote-controlled submarine there.

It's a sea.

Why, there's water on Jupiter?

No, one of the moons.

There's water on the moon?

One of the moons of...

Yes.

So that means if there's water, there's life.

Not necessarily.

Come on.

Too brackish.

I'm not sure exactly why.

It's not in the

habitable zone.

The Goldilocks zone, I believe they call it.

It's cute, right?

I mean, it's better odds than not that, like, if there's water, there's life, right?

Well, which is why they want to send these submersibles there to.

I know why, but I mean, it's, it's got to be pretty fucking damn good.

What would you blay

all your chips in, Q?

Life or no life if there's water on a fucking moon?

You can't have life without water.

So, right?

I'm talking maybe there's just little almost

plankton and shit like that.

Yeah, like what they find in glaciers and shit.

Yeah.

Yeah, fuck it.

I'd say there's life in there.

Why not?

Yeah, fuck fuck it.

I'm what you know.

What the fuck do you know, Get him?

But he was talking.

I saw a video just last night.

He was talking about how

I guess the window of the sub,

if

it starts to get compromised, it'll start to like bow.

And he said, and then you know that there's trouble.

He goes, if you see that happening.

Yeah, I'd say so.

Can you imagine being like, is that window bowing?

Oh, fuck.

It

It is shocking, though, that there's there are people out there.

There's still adventurers out there willing to risk their life, though, to fucking do shit and go places.

Yeah.

They're brave.

They're braver than fucking, you know, than

I would ever be.

Well, I think when you have that much money, you start to like, it's like Scientology or whatever.

It's like you start to buy into this shit where you're like, I'm fucking smarter than everybody else.

I might be fucking superhuman.

And like, I'm too rich.

This isn't going to happen to me.

And before it happened, before

the news broke that they had died i was

feeling all brave and shit because i went to see sees and came out

i'm like now i can now i can't puff my chest out anymore because these are real fucking brave motherfuckers man holy

yeah you couldn't even you couldn't even breathe one bite of the barbecue sauce pizza

oh it's such a sad story though and you know and and i i i kind of get the i kind of get the outrage not the outrage, but the hypocrisy of

the news

24-7 talking about it and all the efforts to get everybody out there to see if they could save it.

And then there's, you know, then there's people like

maybe like some immigrants on a boat and

it capsizes or something, and they don't send out nearly as many

as many people to try to save those people.

So I kind of get the hypocrisy of,

but that's just fucking news, man.

Blame the news because they cover that shit 24-7.

And public interest is more interested in

that fucking submarine.

I don't know why, but they are.

It's very, very unique.

There's always a unique story.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Anytime there's a unique story, I know because my phone, like, people make like these memes of like,

I wanted to ask you how you felt about that.

No matter what happens, like the fucking, that nightclub shooting, like no matter what happens, we get it.

We get like the three of us on a mic going, like, all right, Martin, now break the controller used to control the submarine.

And then, and then there's a picture of us laughing.

The PlayStation controller, yeah.

But like, it fucking, it's like if there's a nightclub shooting, it's just like it's me on a mic going, like, all right, now, now unload your clip into the club.

And then they show the picture of the club, and then below me cracking up, laughing.

It happens.

No matter how awful the thing is, they will make a meme out of it.

And I get it it from, like, I'm not kidding, I get like 17 of them and some from like famous people.

Like, I'll be like, what the fuck are they texting me this for?

This is so odd.

They're like, do this.

I can't remember which one it was, but there was one that really made me laugh.

And I was like, in case you haven't seen this yet.

I can't remember what it was really laughing.

The very first time I saw it, I thought it was funny.

The incident that I saw, and again, it's harmless.

So

it's not tasteless, was the Antonio Brown losing his shit and taking his clothes off on the field and running into the locker room.

And it was like you guys, the Jokers, saying, okay, now take your jersey off and run through the field and run into the locker room.

But

could you make a a plea, right?

You know, go on go on on social media and be like, could you everybody please stop making these memes?

No,

I don't want people to stop.

I want people to

I want people to make it.

Like, please, but more.

You need a little levity at times of

tragedy like this.

Hey, they're not going to stop.

So you might as well enjoy it.

Q suggesting that they stop wouldn't have, people would turn on him, like, you fucking pussy.

Really?

Oh, yeah.

I guarantee it.

They would be mad at you for asking them to stop making the memes.

I don't think they'd be mad.

I just think that, like, specifically the Tellum Steve Dave

audience, the ants would ramp up production if I asked them to stop.

So I always have to be very careful.

I don't think it's ants who are doing the memes.

No, I don't think so either.

But if I I think I was on this show going, yeah, I wish they would stop.

I think we would just see it more and more from ants.

It's like when Michael Richards went off on that N-word tirade, and then he came on Letterman with Jerry Seinfeld, and people start laughing, and Jerry Seinfeld's like, don't laugh.

It's not funny.

It's like, fuck off, Seinfeld.

Who the fuck are you?

Goddamn.

So that's it, man.

That's it for the week, I think.

I mean, I had some more stuff, but

I am looking forward.

You know, this is, I mean,

hot girl summer starts for me today.

So I'm looking forward to getting down there in the studio with you guys and enjoying this summer of

hot

hotness.

Fuck it, tell him, Steve, Dave.