#561: Alien Dildo
Listen and follow along
Transcript
Time Steve Dave presents Every Killer Killer Killer with Encounters in the Assessment Company of Kind
with Brian Gran,
Roger Flanagan, and Brian Johnson.
This week's episode.
Hello, and welcome to Overkill.
It has been some time, boys.
People have been jonesing for an overkill.
We want the paranormal.
We want the scary.
We want the spooky, is what they've been saying.
So
this is the episode about the haunted episode of Little House on the Prairie.
There is a great episode.
Yeah, I knew there was going to be.
Where Mrs.
Olson thinks
Laura thinks that Mr.
Olson decapitates Mrs.
Olson.
No.
Yeah, like he's practicing with this thing and he hits like this mannequin with a sword and the head comes off.
And then Laura thinks that, you know.
She lives in that reality with that.
That's the reality she lives in that people in that small town are decapitating each other.
Nice.
I highly recommend it.
Great episode.
Wow.
I'll bring anything back to LHOTP.
Try me.
Try me.
No, we're
doing overkill.
Yeah.
Which is the paranormal and the haunting cryptids, all that kind of stuff.
I went on Reddit to look up some stuff.
Reddit's having a dark period.
They're down for 48 hours.
Get them.
Supposedly, some are down for 48, some are down for even longer.
Really?
What are they down for?
What are they doing?
Reddit's changing its API pricing for third-party apps.
How does that affect me?
Like, if you use a third-party app because you have trouble seeing, like, you're blind,
the Reddits app does not work with screen readers and stuff.
But these third-party apps.
Like, literally blind.
Yeah.
Yeah.
All right.
So.
So people are standing up for blind people?
Yes.
But also Reddit's massive changes.
How refreshing.
I don't think it's standing up for blind people.
I think they're mostly pissed because they like using those third-party apps because Reddit's native application sucks balls.
Yeah, but it's also hard to.
It's not like a charge for the blind.
No,
it never is.
No, of course not.
It's always a self-service.
Hey, look, you know how I feel about blind people.
Steal your girlfriend.
Blind spots or blind people.
Blind people.
Gato took it on the chin, too, a couple weeks ago for saying he drove in blind spots.
I was in a dick and move.
Yeah.
I was fucking annoyed at him for that.
Of course.
Have you changed your ways?
Yes.
Very good.
I told him, it's like he undoes all my hard work of making him likable over the course of years
in one stupid sentence.
Yeah,
cause you to crash.
Isn't that funny?
Yeah.
Yeah.
What?
Bringing enough doesn't help.
Let's sleep in front of you.
If I have to talk about Nellie week after week,
the trouble that caused.
All right, all right, all right, all right.
Let's get to some spooky stuff.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Moving along.
Did you do any homework, Q?
Did you bring you something?
No, I was streaming all old reading every time.
Nothing happened in Savannah.
Nothing's stopped.
That's a haunted area.
Florida.
Oh, no, it was Nevada now.
All right.
I saw a 300-year-old tree.
You know,
that was.
Did you urinate on it?
I did not.
No, nothing crazy, nothing like rebellious.
No.
Nothing.
I think I'm going to go.
Hey, this might work because I've been reading about, I mean, this is for a future overkill, but I've been getting into the Civil War lately, like reading about the Civil War and stuff like that.
And all these people.
Careful.
South Rise again!
Careful!
You know, and all these people,
let's end it now.
I have a good book for you if you like that.
Okay, cool.
I'm sorry, go ahead.
It's called Guns of the South by Harry Turtledove.
It's a reimagining where people from the future come back and provide the Confederacy with AK-47s.
Okay, yeah, no, that's good.
Else Worlds.
Yeah, all right.
So that's cool.
But I've been reading about the history and stuff.
So I think I want to go to some of the battlefields.
So maybe there'll be some go.
Maybe I'll do a little ghost.
You're one step away from being that dude who's like,
I think I'm going to go to a reenactment.
Yeah.
And then, and then, you know what?
Next time I go, I think I'm going to be in the reenactment.
All right.
I'll be, look, if the uniform fits me, I'll be in the South.
I don't care.
I'm already a colonel.
Johnny Ribb.
But no, maybe that could be like a ghost hunter thing we could do.
Go to one of the sites.
Is there anywhere, any sites like near us?
Well, Gettysburg's not too far away.
That's Pennsylvania, right?
Yeah.
Yeah.
All right.
If you're up for it, if you want to like this one to be your thing.
Yeah, maybe I'll do it.
Let me see if I can.
Do a Patreon video about it?
Yeah, we'll go ghost hunting in Gettysburg.
I know a fair amount about the Civil War.
Do you?
Yeah, I took a Civil War class when I was in college, and I still read about it.
Can you metal detector any of these places?
All right.
Oh, yeah, and then did you tell them I also, not only did I bring you out to
eat for your birthday, I got you a present.
You've never even mentioned it.
I thought you took a metal detector with the runs.
I brought him a metal detector.
Did you really?
Like a full-on head can just listen in?
Yeah, yeah.
My wife bought me one.
I'll go metal detecting with you.
I'll get one.
I'll do a Patreon video.
It'll get a solid hour of us looking for a detail.
That's great then.
It's three hours and 11 minutes away.
We could cut that down to 258, I think.
Yeah, I say.
Driving a couple blind spots.
Fuck it.
Yeah, let's have a look.
I'm like everybody else.
Yeah,
we could do that.
What do you say?
You want to go to a Civil War battlefield?
Absolutely.
Look for ghosts?
Absolutely.
Dawn.
All right, so that's what I brought brought this week.
A promise of future.
I thought your job was basically to debunk anything that we say.
That normally is your role here.
That's what I always thought.
But, you know, I should be more proactive, I think.
You did it.
In two seconds.
You came up with something.
I planned this.
Well, now we got to execute the trip.
Execution's always the
rub.
Yeah.
We're still waiting to do basket case for Patriots.
It's been two years now.
You know what?
We got to figure out what we're doing.
I mentioned I saw a $300 tree, a 300-year-old tree whopping.
We've got to fulfill one of the all-time oldie promises that we made was to go to the Renaissance that place, the Medieval Times.
Oh, fuck yeah.
I'd love to do that.
Okay.
Doing what?
What would we promise?
Do a video where we go and...
Oh, we're not having the ants come.
We're not being like, we're going to be here this night.
It's too much hassle.
Yeah, it's coordinate shit like that.
Okay.
Just do a Patreon video where you go to the Medieval Times, BQ.
Yeah.
I bet you've done that already, though, for IJ.
Well, we shot it for
that.
We did.
It might have been Joker's Wild,
which means nobody saw it.
But we had, yeah, we shot there.
We shot it at Medieval Times.
And you were able to get down on the.
Oh, we were on the floor.
We fought with knights.
We had swords and stuff like that.
Yeah.
Okay.
All right.
They just retired their falcon, I heard.
Falcon's done.
Yeah.
Retired.
No more indoor animals.
Yeah.
Except horses.
Yeah.
All right.
Anyway, sorry.
I derailed the part.
I did that.
I derailed the show.
I apologize.
We almost went to medieval times, but I like it was Mike who pitched it, and Mike wanted it so badly that I think Nichelle purposely was like, We're not doing it.
She was the princess or something.
She worked there.
She was like a serving wencher or whatever.
No, no, I think she was in this show.
She was like somebody who gets to say, like, so we got a hookup.
Mike?
Yeah.
Maybe you do.
I don't even know about you anymore.
I'm sure he'll hit me right on it if I text him.
I may text him asking if he can reach out to his niece.
He's like editing for free.
I mean, Ming could certainly make that call, right?
I don't even know if Ming could.
I could.
I don't know if it would happen.
No way.
Ming doesn't have his niece's number.
Oh, no, I thought you meant call me.
Yeah, I meant Call Mike.
Oh, yeah.
No.
All right.
Yeah, we'll look into that, too.
Okay.
A lot of promises going around today.
There's this whole episode of stuff we're going to be looking into.
Another thing that people have requested, and I thought we could pair it with something, was you've talked a long time about doing a vulgar commentary for Patreon oh I think we should I think it's a no-brainer and then I'm gonna go around and I'm gonna I thought me you Walt and Jimmy the hair guy could go look at old locations as sort of a
additional you know because a lot of them aren't around anymore what's that why Jimmy the hair guy Jimmy the hair guy was like texting me about it and I he was like I would love to go look at all the locations and I said ah maybe we could do a Patreon video about it fuck yeah
motherfucker Let's fucking do that.
Yeah.
So yeah, maybe we'll do that.
All right, that's another thing we might do.
Everybody's getting excited about all this shit we might do.
Yeah.
But this is Overkill.
This is where we talk about spooky and haunted and all that kind of shit.
Do you have anything good, Walt?
I brought some stuff.
I have three things.
Okay.
I could give you the
gist of all three, and you tell me which one sounds the most interesting to you.
Okay.
And we could do a deep dive that way.
Sure.
All right.
So, my
three topics are:
my first one:
Do you know how much a soul weighs?
Okay.
There was a whole movie about it, wasn't there?
Yeah.
Based upon
a real experiment.
Your body weighs less after you die, something like that.
Yeah.
Like by like an ounce or three ounces?
No, six ounces?
14 ounces?
More.
Soul fucking weighs more than fucking...
Not mine.
Mine's shrilled and black.
Yours has got all.
It looks like soot.
Yeah, I'll probably gain weight.
Yeah, it's like cinder.
21 grams.
21 grams.
That was the movie, yeah.
But I have uh, you know, the story about why and how that it came to be that someone you know weighed the soul.
Okay, that's cool.
Okay, so then my other
one is:
have you ever heard of phantom kangaroos?
No, I'm interested.
This is the phenomenon, phenomena, phenomena, phenomena, phenomena, phenomena, phenomena, phenomena,
Of seeing a kangaroo in a place you should not be seeing one.
Like your bathroom or something?
There's been multiple sightings throughout the years of kangaroos in America
of all places.
I just saw a bear in the ocean down in Florida.
Did you see that?
No.
Yeah, like people were running out of the water and there was a bear swimming around.
Wow.
Can you imagine a bear?
In the ocean?
Fuck the shark.
Wouldn't it be safe on land or in water?
We wouldn't need a navy anymore.
We would just have
a bear shark, or is it the shark bear?
I guess if it's in water, it's a shark bear.
Is it a bark or a
share?
I never turned on his mic, so don't worry about it.
I just winced at that.
I got back spasms now for
shitty jokes.
Spasmin all over the room.
And my last potential topic is
solar plexus clown gliders.
What?
This sounds like we're playing.
I know it's not dyslexia.
This is
solar.
The phenomenon.
Phenomenon?
Phenomenon.
Phenomenon.
It's a negative entity
that is said to be able to attack people who have a weak solar plexus.
They have no physical form, but they are able to manifest via mental images in their victims.
So there's a, I can get into more about what this is.
Have you ever heard of it?
No, and I should.
I'm very out of shape.
Now, where's your solar plexus?
Right here.
Solar plexus is, yeah, like center, center pushes.
Like a breadbasket, kind of.
You've kind of neglected yours.
Amongst many other things, yes.
What haven't you neglected?
What are you even focusing on?
What are you working on?
My stomach.
Making sure it's full.
My liver, making sure it's abused.
Got you, got you.
And Giddam sounds good, Mike?
Yeah, he sounds okay.
Okay.
Good.
Just checking.
So, those are my three topics.
Well, I mean, clearly, we got to go with the last one because nobody knows what the fuck's going on.
Clowns in your solar plexus?
Now, I have yet to figure out why clown is even in the name of this
and gliders, like flying in gliders.
Solar plexus clown gliders are a psychic entity discovered by New Age practitioners in the 1980s.
They are described as a spiritual entity with no real physical form, but they are able to manifest themselves by showing their victims mental images.
Solar plexus clown gliders feed off the fear of their victims and force them to have horrific hallucinations, experiences with glitches in reality and to experience psychological pain.
Sounds like my entire life.
Clown, solar plexus.
The experience of being infected with a solar plexus clown glider is said to be similar to the effects of withdrawal when coming off drugs such as
metaphetamines.
Some suggest that even hearing the words solar plexus clown glider is enough to attract the entity to you.
Oh, great.
Others
claim viewing photos of them circulating online will make you susceptible.
So that's one, what one, like, that's what one looks like right there.
Shit, get out of here.
So wait, are these photos for online from the 80s?
These are these are there was emails sent in the early 1990s and like chain emails.
And if you didn't like forward them,
you were you were so it's like the ring?
Yes, it has it's very similar to the ring.
I think it's a scary looking guy.
It's what's inspired the ring was this urban myth of
this email that was going around in the in the early 90s.
And now you'll see these videos on TikTok where someone's watching something and then a face will pop up on TV and scare the shit out of them.
Okay.
Have you ever seen that?
There's also the one where it's like suddenly there's somebody behind them.
They're taking a selfie and there's like this weird looking girl behind them.
I mean, I told the,
I mean, I have
experience with this.
My daughter,
you know, with it's, I think it's very similar to the Bloody Mary.
I mean, I remember telling the story years ago that my daughter was terrified of Bloody Mary and like
it really traumatized her, and she would not believe anybody that it wasn't real.
You know, she was young, but it took a lot to, like, she wanted to have the blanket up on the mirror.
Right.
Like, she was all
but this is very similar to that, but
solar plexus clown gliders are a negative entity that's said to it will attack people who have a weak solar plexus.
Now, why do you think it has anything to do with your core?
I don't know.
Right?
Like, why?
I would think of weak in terms of
maybe the chakra that's located in that area?
The what?
The chakra?
What's that?
Like, the points of your body where your energy is focused?
Yeah, I mean.
Your heart chakra, right?
I mean, this is something that is out there on the internet.
I'm not making this up.
No, the pictures of them are creepy.
Somebody else did.
These hallucinations of the solar plexus clown glider are often manifest as a creepy humanoid
jester or as a slimy slug-like creature.
It is said to be able to operate outside the normal laws of physics in ways similar to the black stick man cryptid.
The goal of a solar plexus clown glider is to force its victim to be in constant psychological pain and torture in order for it to feed off the negative energy and emotions created.
And now that you've heard it
spoken aloud, everyone at this table and everyone listening to this podcast.
You better prepare.
Yeah, you better get working on your solar plexus, bitches.
Strengthen that shit up.
But how do you prepare?
Like, what's
sit-ups or maybe some...
So it's a physical thing.
It's not a mental.
I mean,
unless it's irony, that it has nothing to do with maybe the solar plexus of your brain.
Because if you're positive and you're not susceptible to like negative thoughts,
maybe you're more
strengthened against an attack of a solar plexus clown glider.
So you said this originated during the 80s.
Yes.
And I think that was the time when there was that whole exercise craze, right?
Like everyone was coming out with videos and things.
Do you think the two could be connected?
You're talking about...
like Jane Fonda.
Yeah.
Body by Jewish.
Who is that weird, that weird little Richard Simmons?
Yeah.
Yeah.
Susan Powder.
Oh, yeah.
Yeah.
Well, Well, she was 90s-ish.
Yeah.
She was early 90s.
Yeah.
I don't think it has anything actually to do with the solar plexus.
Like, scare you into getting into shape.
I think maybe it's like when you clench, like when you're scared, maybe.
I don't know.
Absolutely have no idea why they're not.
Is there one of these things?
No, there's multiple.
This is like a race of beings, almost like the Sebanites.
Where do they come from?
Interdimensional fucking...
And they're coming to people's solar plexus?
Well, to also
feed off your misery, to feed off your depression.
You're telling me every time I've been depressed and miserable in my life, it might have been down to one of these things.
One of these clowns.
Clown gliders?
How do you get rid of them?
Like, what's the
preferred?
That's the important part, because I think I got a couple myself.
Yeah.
I hit
circus music
all the time.
I hate everything.
Get them.
You bought it.
There's a lot of TikTok videos about solar plexus clown gliders.
Yeah.
There's a ton of tick tock videos a man there's a there has been somebody who has come on to the scene to recount his experiences who was infected a man named jason carpenter had an experience with a solar plexus clown glider when he was in college he was sitting in the back of a courtroom taking notes for a law assignment when he saw something out of the corner of his eye now i
i don't know about you guys but have you ever had that peripheral vision where you thought you seen something out of the corner of your eye and you're like you're convinced there's there's a demonic midget like watching you from another room
maybe not that far
I think I've seen things moving in the side yeah right okay well this could be
the
you know the cause of these um what's it called the solar plexus clown glider clown glider
but John Carpenter, Jason Carpenter, said when he turned to see what was in the corner of his eye, he saw a three-foot-long cobra coiled up at the foot of one of the chairs in front of him.
The cobra seemed seemed almost animated in the way it moved.
It was very unnatural looking.
And after a few seconds, it disappeared from view.
Wow.
Now, there's a lot of people who say this could be caused by using drugs.
Okay, likely.
Hallucinogenics can cause this.
Wait, you said that it appears as a slug sometimes?
Sometimes it appears as a black slug.
I had a nightmare when I was young, young, like seven or eight, and I remember getting out of my bed and there being a big black slug in the bed.
And like, I was afraid to go back in the bed, so I slept upstairs on the couch that night.
Could it have been?
It wasn't the 80s.
It wasn't a dildo.
Was not a dildo?
No.
Were you lifeguarding at this time?
No, I was not.
No, I was young.
I was like, oh, you're young.
I was a seven-year-old lifeguard.
Oh, no.
Well, I'm just trying to figure out if you were in shape or not.
Seven or eight.
I guess I was pretty in shape for a seven-year-old.
Seven?
Looked pretty seven-year-old.
For a seven-year-old?
So you think you might have had an experience for one of these things?
I might, and it would explain a lot of the negativity in my life.
How do I get rid of it?
Well, well come on uh well like a lot of people have gone online and said that
most experiences come after using lsd
okay i think we're on to something here
all right so i'm just negative
it's not a clown glider's fault it is possible many instances instances of solar plexus clown glider encounters are drug-induced hallucinations or perhaps using drugs puts you in a state that is more open for being attacked by these entities
Jesus.
Why are these poor clowns fucking with people who are just trying to get high?
Yeah, I know, just trying to expand your mind.
Yeah.
The Solar Plexus Clown Glider was a computer virus distributed in the 1990s that would cause a scary face to randomly appear on screen for users.
It is possible the lore surrounding this virus became
an urban legend and was picked up by the New Age community as a psychic reality.
But it said that the New Age came up with it in the 80s.
Just explained it.
Well, no, no.
But there's also another bullet point that says these actually could be a real interdimensional demon.
I'm sure a bullet point says that.
That must be true.
Some New Age religions believe that having a blocked solar plexus can lead to negative emotional and psychological effects.
The solar plexus clown glider could be a manifestation of this blockage.
So
you, of all people, I would think,
probably have a blocked solar plexus.
Sure.
It could be the cause of all your physical
problems.
All those growths that are like popping up everywhere.
They could be just like a clown solar plexus glider.
What is that thing on your elbow?
Your elbow.
Exactly.
It's like
a giant, like, yeah, bigger than a golf bowl, even, and he puts a band-aid on it, like that's going to do anything.
No, because
that'll make it good out.
He's got open sores.
He's like a fucking commercial on fucking HLN.
Why do you have open, oozing sores on your elbow?
Because it got infected, so it actually worked its way out.
Because of a solar plexus clown glider, cube.
Right, it popped its head out.
Yeah.
A little black slug with a clown face popped itself out one day.
I'll live here forever.
This host is the best, man.
So when did you start getting sores
it, man?
When it got infected, and
I soaked it, and it looked like a white head appeared.
And when I squeezed it.
Pussies are wet across the nation.
I did not press it.
Rub one out to that.
You're welcome, ladies.
So I went and saw a doctor.
Doctor prescribed me antibiotics, and I'm soaking it on my head.
I do.
You've got to applaud him, Q.
You went to a doctor?
This is the first time since we've known him that he went to a doctor.
Nice.
I do applaud him.
Yes.
Come on, brother.
Give it up.
Thank you.
Thank you.
Did you have a pleasant experience?
Yeah.
She was very nice.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Wait a minute.
You told me that she started fucking browbeating you for draining your own fucking body.
Yes, yes, she was.
With a hypodermic, with a dirty hypodermic knee.
No, it wasn't with a dirty knife.
Exactly.
But
she didn't like you fucking doing your own analysis of your
mind.
Can you imagine being a doctor?
And this walks in, and you have to, like, talk to it.
And argue with him as well.
Argue with them.
Why are you with the medical skills?
Genum's like, nah.
See, that would be, he's the one guy that could shake a doctor, though.
Yeah, I think that even a doctor could question his abilities after spending an hour would get him, though.
Pick a spot to start from.
Eric spent 15 minutes with him.
He's like, he's not autistic.
He got all upset.
You know what, though?
I got to give him up for him.
He diagnosed my heel.
And I don't have any heel problems now after he told me what to do.
What was wrong with your heel?
It was hurting.
It was always aching.
And
he told me to go get this special insole.
Yeah, the orthotics.
Okay.
Never had heel problems again.
So, yeah, so definitely.
What is that?
As far as my knowledge, I haven't never seen one of these clown gliders.
No, you don't seem like you would be a victim.
You don't seem like you'd be open to victimization by them.
You're pretty level-headed.
I'm pretty much taunting them right now by even speaking aloud.
I was like, fuck you.
I'm going to talk about it on a podcast.
And I'm going to take infecting everybody I know and who listens with this shit because it's all bullshit.
That's how sure you are that it's bullshit.
Of course.
Right.
You don't have any
real hesitation about talking about it.
No, my thing always goes back to like, I would love to, nothing ever happens like that.
I would love, like, because if you see a ghost, right, you're seeing evidence of the afterlife.
So I would welcome it.
I would welcome that clown glider in.
Really?
Yeah.
That's dangerous, though.
I know.
You know,
that's like saying to yourself, you're allowing a demon demon to go into your body i wouldn't do that don't don't allow the clown glider to go in no father lance no come and take care of it i'm talking about real shit like you know christianity i'm not talking about clown glider
the real deal yeah no i wouldn't yeah i wouldn't i wouldn't buy that don't do that man i would i would buy strolling gants i bought this bullshit yeah yeah i'm not worried about that non-christian bullshit
my my fucking yeah i got powerful friends clown yeah i'll sick father lance on your ass.
Yeah.
What do you have an exorcist in your in your stable?
Yeah.
You don't worry about shit like this.
My posse.
Where's he been?
He was just on a purveyor's posers and playlist not too long ago.
He's still, he lost to Troy, but you know, he did hair metal, though.
That wasn't up his alley, though.
We got to get it.
He's a good Christian.
He wouldn't be listening to hair metal.
Yeah, you're right.
That's bullshit.
He listens to all that kind of stuff.
He had one hand tied behind his back, though, because hair metal was all about
celebrating sex.
Rock and rolls and rock and roll.
And maybe, and sometimes even the devil.
You don't think Father Lance dabbled a little bit when he was younger?
No.
You did?
Right, I'm not a fucking priest.
I'm not a father.
Right, but I don't know when he decided he was going to do that.
I might have turned him.
Maybe he got a couple of gliders in him.
In my eyes,
from the womb, he was Father Lance.
Oh, how boring that must be.
Oh, God, that would suck.
Like, you have to behave like a priest throughout your entire life.
Yeah, well, some of these priests are getting out there i have yeah they're having a party yeah you okay
you're actually as close to priest like as
from anybody i know yeah me and sunday jeff sunday you both got married and had kids that's not very priest like
oh come on but god doesn't want us to not procreate because we have to spread the word oh and the seed what oh
yeah i did my job yeah i got two under my belt
but you can be spreading the gospel more efficiently if you weren't weren't worried about the children and your wife and everything else like that.
What do you mean?
Like the priests, that's what they're focused on.
Oh, so like if Walt was a true priest, he doesn't have to worry about the family.
Yeah, that's perfect.
He has to worry about his flock.
Yeah.
His parishioners.
I mean, no one's perfect, you know.
Yeah, but he's not perfect.
We said he's as close to priest-like as you can get without being a priest.
I mean, but he's like one of these fucking devil gliders or whatever.
He's trying to get into your solar plexus with that negative shit.
Oh, man.
At the end of all this, he's turned down.
He's He's going to be some of that puss on me.
Take this.
What do you do if it turns out that Giddam is a demon sent from hell to infest your life, man?
Yeah, he's throwing up all these little roadblocks.
Yeah.
I mean, getting puss on you.
I would think that a demon would have a bit more.
Well, there's lesser demons.
Yeah, you don't think that there are some like.
You're not going to send Pazuzu after you.
You're not fucking with a Blair.
You're sending this fucking cloud after you.
What team it would put your lawn furniture together?
Exactly.
Yeah, that's how they get you, though.
That's how he got in your house.
Yeah, you have to invite them in.
What do you got, Brian?
What do I got?
Let me tell you what I got.
Miundis believes that comfort is about more than what's touching your skin.
It's about feeling comfortable in your skin.
They have dozens of fun prints from doughnuts to superheroes and great colors from bolds to classics that match your skin.
You've got superheroes now?
I guess so, yeah.
I haven't seen any.
I haven't seen any superhero ones.
You'll get them, don't worry.
They probably got the Marvel Legends.
They're in the mail.
Yeah.
Let's see.
How do I feel when I wear my Miundis?
Like a million bucks.
Like a priest.
Yeah.
Wait, what?
Yeah, because I'm priest-like.
Yeah, that's true.
It makes Walt feel like a priest.
Again, how...
Untouched.
It doesn't matter.
Virgin, Cherry, it doesn't matter how I feel in my Miundis.
It's It's how you feel in your meundies.
Don't worry about how I'm feeling.
Just know that I'm feeling great, feeling like a million bucks.
Meundis also has tons of other apparel, like insanely soft shorts, joggers, and hoodies that bring more fun to your laziest days.
More fun to my laziest days?
I don't know if that's possible.
I mean, yeah, you're lazy.
I mean, more fun on your lazy day would just, what would you, how could you do it?
I don't know.
What would be like somehow squeezing an extra fucking
murder dock?
A little bit more pot.
Wow, the DC and Marvel.
They got both.
I don't see anything.
Big two.
You got to go down the bottom and shop by clutching.
Carlton.
Harvey.
Get matchy, matchy, a comfy, comfy between you and your partner in crime with Miyundis.
Oh, yeah.
Look at this.
They got all sorts of Batman.
They got all sorts of Catwoman.
Game of Thrones.
You know that their upper echelon.
They are the underwear brand.
If they're paying for these licenses, yeah.
They got a couple of them.
Baby Yoda.
We know who would love some of those.
Oh, Sunday Jeff.
Oh, he's loving it.
Oh, he hates baby Yoda.
I'll just get him for it as a gag gift.
Yeah, like an extra.
He would take a dump in his underwear
just to prove a point how much he hates baby Yoda.
Yodi doesn't want that.
Why do you hate Baby Yoda so much?
Come on.
It's fucking, it's so corny.
Like, he's fucking old school Star Wars.
Yeah.
Let's just like, you know, like goofy, cutesy bullshit ain't up Sunday Jeff's house.
What about the Ewoks?
Oh, he doesn't really like the Ewoks either.
Oh, right.
He might not take a shit on an Ewok underwear, though.
Yeah.
Because it's George Lucas.
He has some respect.
But baby Yoda, not a chance.
He would eat some spoiled fucking food and then
let it rip on Baby Yoda.
And then he would wear his underwear backwards.
And then send the pictures to Mink.
Then he would give his underwear to Gidem so Gidham could have the runs in him just
icing off the cake.
Let's see.
You can match underwear, hoodies, onesies, and more, and there are even dog hoodies for the pups.
Miundi's also digs at your working on your fitness.
Do they?
So they wanted to provide you with super soft activewear with their new Move Me collection.
Moisture wicking, quick-drying, breathable, medium compression to provide support.
That's why I need a lot of compression.
I need a girdle.
I need a Miundi's girdle.
A lot of support.
Yeah.
So get more than just your junk in your mailbox.
Oh, get more than just junk in your mailbox with a Miundis membership.
Choose a new pair of Undy socks or bralette each month to grow your collection and also save up to 30% on all the Miundi snuggly softness you can handle.
Plus, you'll get early access to special deals and new products.
So.
To get 25% off your first order plus free standard shipping, visit meundis.com slash T-E-S-D.
Remember, if you're not satisfied, your purchase is on Myundi's.
That's 25% off your first order at meundis.com slash T-E-S-D.
We love them.
We've loved them for years.
I cannot recommend a better type of underwear than Miundi's.
Nice.
So, back to the scary stuff.
So, Walt,
I have, let's see,
I have some real people
who say that historical figures who said that they've cited cryptids.
And you tell me who of these people you believe.
Oh, I like this.
Yeah, this is cool.
So, you got Daniel Boone
said he saw Bigfoot.
He was the guy that was planting seeds all over, right?
Johnny Appleseed.
That was Johnny Appleseed.
So Daniel Boone was real.
Johnny Appleseed was fake.
Johnny Appleseed was Johnny Seed.
Johnny Appleseed was real, too.
His last name wasn't Appleseed, but yeah.
Okay.
All right.
So you got Daniel Boone.
There's a whole bunch of people, but I'm only going to.
But did he say where?
He flew out the Alamo, right?
Daniel Boone?
I think he might have.
Yeah.
Next to Davy Crockett.
He says he saw Bigfoot.
This is just a Bigfoot?
He says he saw Bigfoot.
Okay.
Who else has seen a Bigfoot?
Christopher Columbus said he saw the father of all turtles, I guess, which is a giant gamera-type turtle.
Oh, gamera.
Yeah, he said he saw my father.
Take me to it.
Julius Caesar claims that he saw a unicorn.
Julius Caesar said he saw Julius Caesar said.
Who was he taking him back then?
Sir Arthur Conan Doyle.
Oh, Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
Yeah, that's right.
Now you know this shit's real.
He saw a digited creature.
I don't know what that means.
Where's
my deer stalker?
He's not the best source, though.
He's a fiction writer, though.
Okay,
what did Sir Conan say he saw?
He said he saw a digited creature, which means some kind of creature with digits?
Digits, I guess.
Yeah, but it wasn't like a human.
He also declared fairies were real.
Anything other than a snake has digits, don't it, doesn't it, though?
I mean, pretty much, right?
Yeah, I don't know how impressive that one is.
The unicorn died 16 years before the Alamo, so there you go.
Okay.
He wasn't there, as far as we know.
All right, say that list again.
We have to pick out which one was real.
No, this is just people who said that they saw him.
Oh, wait, oh, okay.
I thought you're.
Oh, okay.
I thought we were.
Yeah, no,
they all say it's real.
There is a.
They're all claiming it's real.
There was this
politician, land land developer on Staten Island in the early 1900s who claimed that fairies lived on Staten Island.
Say that again?
Fairies.
Fairies.
Other than Farah Fawcett lived on Staten Island.
You can see the way the English write it.
And
he wrote a book about it, by the different type of fairies that live on Staten Island.
All right, but let's go down Bryce's list again.
And which one do you feel Q is the most
turtle?
It doesn't really shine.
Giant turtle, the mother of all turtles.
Father, yeah.
Well, what does that mean?
That's that's he said gamera-sized, which would be Brian said that.
Yeah, I don't think Christopher Columbus is no gamer-sized.
Dow Carson's biggest Godzilla.
I do like Walt just as soon as I say gamma Walt's like, I can't believe this shit's true.
Let's see.
Go down the list again, yeah.
Okay, so we got those guys.
We have Joseph Smith, who the father of Mormonism said he saw some devil monkeys.
now if you google devil monkey it just looks like a regular monkey okay so maybe he's a little devilish
uh let's see that's pretty much it for all the people that you're goes back to the top though with daniel boone okay so daniel boone claims that he saw bigfoot
okay no cue
yeah
do you tell anybody that that is has to shake you though because i'm sure you don't believe in bigfoot at the moment right you know i
I could buy that there's a Bigfoot over ghosts.
You just want those fucking if you had to go one or the other, you had to go all in on one or the other, you'd go all in on a Bigfoot more so than ghosts.
If you had to go put all your chips in,
I would go all in on Bigfoot.
But the very fact that Boone
is talking about a hairy, giant, ape-like creature in the forest
back well before there was ever any like the phenomenon of Bigfoot.
Yeah, it's got to be a little
bit eyebrow raising.
He wasn't known for shenanigans.
Like he was out there doing serious work.
What is the citation, though?
Like, it was like in a letter to someone that he wrote.
His memoirs, bitch.
Yeah.
Okay.
You didn't read Daniel Boone's memoirs?
Oh, I apologize.
I didn't know that was required office manager reading.
I'm trying to see here, Nike,
if it says in his Wikipedia that he saw.
But that would be a little bit more weighty, though, because he wasn't influenced by
a lot of pop culture with Bigfoot, as he is now, a pop culture figure.
No, he didn't see Harry and the Hendersons.
He didn't see any of that shit.
He didn't see the $6 million man rip off of Bigfoot's arm.
No, to his, to his or the Frank Fry rewind.
See the kind of shit that gets you down.
What do you mean?
It makes you so negative that a fucking clown glider can get right into you.
Okay, so
the guy, wait a second, get up.
The guy who wrote the biography of Daniel Boone, it became one of the best-selling biographies of the 19th century, and his adventures were embellished.
He never fought a bear.
He never escaped from Indians by swinging on vines like Tarzan.
And Daniel Boone's family thought the book was absurd.
Huh.
So, like, what can you fucking say?
So, don't believe shit.
Apparently, Daniel
Daniel Boone himself reported having shot and killed.
It was a 10-foot hairy giant he called a Yahoo.
A yahoo well if the guy's already known for embellishing his all right i think we're gonna have to put this one put a thumbs down to this one huh you yeah i think he's like a the chuck barrison 1700s or whatever yeah i don't think that all right what's the what was the next one so the next one was julius caesar unicorn okay and he said he saw i guess he named it afternoon bc right yeah no is he before christ or after christ weren't they didn't weren't they all fucking running around yeah because they they were they were commanding
Jerusalem at the time.
So, yeah.
I don't know whether Caesar is before him or not.
Well, yeah, he said rend to Caesar with owed Caesar, right?
So, yeah.
AD.
Or BC?
AD.
AD, okay.
No, BC.
Well, it sounds like he's straddling the line because he's saying pay to Caesar with Caesar's.
Look at that.
Caesar's unicorn.
Did you look it up?
No, I did not.
I was like, fuck.
I was like, I'm Daniel Boone.
So, again.
Yeah.
Not influenced by cartoons like The Last Unicorn or My Little Pony bullshit or any of that nonsense or like you know
bronies in the audience.
You want to hear shit on TVs too?
But you know, I mean, this is a guy
who did anything to hold on to his
power?
Yeah.
I've seen a unicorn.
It's a sign from the fucking gods.
It means I'm going to rule for Andrew J.
This is what he said.
There is an ox of the shape of a stag between whose ears a horn rises from the middle of the forehead, higher and straighter than those horns which are known to us.
From the top of this, branches like palms stretch out a considerable distance.
The shape of the female and the male is the same.
The appearance and the size of the horns is the same.
You could be talking about Gidham's elbow.
You wouldn't know the difference.
Thumbs up or thumbs down, Q?
I think thumbs down.
I don't think you believe those guys.
They were doing anything they can to make it seem like they're
just God, yeah.
You know, looking on this, Giddam's elbow is pretty big on that.
Oh, yeah.
He was using that as a timeline to figure out how long he's at this bump.
He actually looked at a picture on the wall.
Yeah, we're looking at the Beatles picture of the Sgt.
Peppers.
If you were on Patreon, you know what it is.
But yeah, he told me, he goes, When was that picture taken?
Giddam goes the other day.
And I was like, oh, geez, probably over a year ago.
He goes, look at my elbow.
I had the bump back then.
Yeah.
The lump.
Yeah.
The lump.
Did you bring that in to show the doctor?
No, no, no.
I've had it this long.
She goes, How long has it been?
picture?
She goes, well, how do I know when this picture was taken?
I don't know.
Get him because you're not on Patreon.
What's the next selection?
The next one was, this is the most believable.
Arthur Conan Doyle saw a digited creature.
But again, Arthur Conan Doyle, some, I don't know if you've
there were girls, their father was a photographer, and they printed up pictures of fairies, stuck them on sticks, and then took fairies.
Sisters.
Yeah.
And Arthur Conan Doyle went there, declared fairies were real, and actually I believe he as well wrote a book about this.
Really?
Yeah.
So he was not known for his skepticism.
A la Sherlock Holmes.
A la Randy.
James Randy?
Yes.
He wrote The Hounds of Baskerville, which involves cryptids in some way, right?
Bill O'Chee, who I don't know who that is, but he also saw Yowie, whatever that is.
That's the Bigfoot.
That's the Bigfoot guy?
All right.
Joseph Smith, like we said, the Mormon guy.
Devil Monkeys.
Well, that's another guy that talked to God.
yeah this golden tap it's tough yeah it's a lot of people who like seem either off
uh imbued with so much power you wouldn't know what to do with it or talk to god well this is a problem because like if they're people like that you're like well they're crackpots but then if like it's the average person you're like they're hicks like there's just so much to stop people from believing these things going on around us it's easier not to believe
it is you know it's easy to walk through a world that's kind of mundane and dry and lacking unicorns and Yahoos.
Why is it that like every once in a while you'll see like the UFO shit come up?
Like it's like every couple months you're like, oh my god, they're going to prove it.
Well, I mean, recently we've been bargaining with a lot of UFO stuff.
There was footage from a dash cam.
I think it was in Nevada.
Nevada, yeah.
And then from the backyard as well.
Yeah, well, the dash cam footage is of this, you know, it looks like a meteor coming down.
Some are saying saying it may have been a spaceship crashing, and then like an hour later, there's a call to 911 where you can listen to it on YouTube.
It's a family saying that there's something crashed in their backyard, and there's a 10-foot gray creature walking around, and they want the police to come.
Wow.
And the police cam is there, too, and the police get there, and they see like an impression in their backyard.
But the spaceship apparently got itself back in working order and got out of there before the cops got there.
But the cops are going, I'm not paid enough to go back there and see an alien.
Yeah,
wow.
Thank God for Triple A, otherwise, we know we would have had a proof.
Yeah,
that's even worse than the previous one.
You're making my back hurt
with these horrible jokes.
Come on, get them.
What's going on over there?
What else do I got here?
I have your choice, boys.
I have the Portland serial killer,
the Australian hiker, which vanished.
11 real-life, terrifying but true horror stories reported in the news.
Huh.
And then kidnappings.
Lots, lots of kidnappings.
I love missing people.
I don't know what it is, man.
There is something about a person who goes missing without a trace.
You've always been this way.
I remember in my early 20s, you being like,
it's just so weird that those people are out there and nobody knows where they are.
Yeah, like one person left with no answers.
Yeah.
Like a lot of questions, hardly any answers.
It's non-stop.
I watched this shit on Discovery Channel, TLC, HBO, all these, all these channels.
It's all about people going missing and people getting killed.
You're like, guys, can't you just stop?
It's weird.
People won't stop.
People won't stop.
Yeah, and then every once in a while you get the story of like the woman that was in the trunk of the car and escaped with like 12 stab wounds.
Right.
Yeah.
Crawled away and escaped somehow, and that's how they got busted.
And you're like, holy fuck, man.
Who could knew you could ever be that strong as a crawl like a mile through the desert with stab wounds?
Yes, with stab wounds and shit.
Like one stab wound.
wound, I'm like, fine.
Oh, goddammit.
It's over.
Yeah.
Another exorcism, Walt.
I could believe in aliens.
Yeah.
Okay.
So you're going to go.
I don't mean to cut off.
I want to hear about the exorcism.
I could believe in aliens, though.
You got to go all in on ghosts, Bigfoot, aliens.
Which one are you putting your chips into?
Oh, yeah.
The pile.
100%.
Aliens.
Without even a thought.
Aliens,
or is it also included that they're visiting us?
If I have to include visiting, I don't, you know, it all seems silly to me, but I'm still going to go with aliens.
Okay, now I mean, so you're saying aliens like they live style, where like they're walking around us and we don't know
along those lines, yeah.
I mean, I have no problem believing it's mathematically conceivable that there are other, there is other, there has to be other life out in this, in this universe.
It's stupid to think that there's not, you know, but it does it look like us?
Does it share the same or can look like us or could look like us, but with green skin?
Yeah.
Are you not of the belief though that all this UFO
news that's coming out seemingly every day is a misdirection?
Oh, you don't think that they're softening you up for the big reveal?
You think it's the other thing.
I thought they start sprinkling it every once in a while.
Now get everybody used to the idea.
No, I think it's look over here, look over here.
Don't pay attention to what we're really doing.
Don't pay attention to the real issues.
I think the news is non-stop that.
Like, here's a bunch of shit that we don't want you to know about.
so we're going to put this other stuff out there that's like just interesting and just
enough of his distraction, yeah.
Well, they had that whistleblower about the UFOs come out very recently.
I mean, it was super recent.
He's like somebody on a big wig who confirmed that, you know,
he worked at Area 51.
And and there's little to no doubt that he has the credentials to back up that he worked there, but he's saying he can't back up, though, that, you know, they're that that
our government has these vehicles these um these saucers that they
created based off of retrieving crashed ufos
and
in my opinion i i i just don't i can't i don't believe it i don't believe there's any way that shape or form that there's ufos i believe that it's all i believe that they have these vehicles and they're doing shit but it's not from alien technology see like i can i I can believe vehicles because we've sent vehicles to other things in our solar system,
but they're not manned.
I think that's the issue: they're sending these things manned, you know, as opposed to just sending a rover like we sent up to Mars and it's still puttering around.
I think if we saw an alien rover, we would still take it pretty seriously.
Yeah, yeah, I just think that they're like, if you're seeing these things on video and these pilots are seeing shit,
and you there's video of it, I still I still 100% believe that it's all man-made shit and it never came from alien technology.
I don't think there's ever been a UFO that's ever fucking come into
our stratosphere or broken.
That there's never been a UFO or there's never been something of extra
origin.
Okay.
Not something that we just couldn't identify.
Right.
Yeah.
Yeah.
I don't know.
Like sometimes I'll go out in the backyard and I like look up at the sky when I'm watching the dog.
Of course.
Why the fuck else would I be outside?
No, like I go outside and I'll
let the dog go do his thing.
And then I just look up at the sky and I'm like, it's, I, I, I don't even want to, I don't want to think about it.
Can't even wrap your head around it.
Can't wrap your head around it.
Trillions of galaxies.
There's this conspiracy theory that space isn't real.
I just imagine birds weren't real.
The moon's not real.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Birds aren't real.
This isn't real.
That's not real.
I'm starting to believe it all.
Earth's flat.
Yeah, I guess.
So they replace what's real.
What do I know?
So we're not on a planet?
We're not a planet.
The hell are we on?
I mean, it's a deep dive to what everything, but like what you're seeing as a projection when you see this, when you see the black stars
in the blackness.
How would the point be?
It's beyond our means of figuring out.
Well, they're like, oh, it's like this alien experiment where they're watching us.
It's like that movie, what was the movie where they were Truman Show?
Truman Show.
And I'm like, why would you need billions of people to watch it?
Like if you're an alien.
Yeah, you can watch 20 people and get it.
Well, it's like an ant farm.
Right.
Yeah, the alien ant farm.
Yeah, but
the ants, like, are,
is the behavior that different from ant to ant in the ant farm?
You mean you're comparing human behavior?
Yeah.
Oh,
I think it's very different.
I think there's a lot of, yeah, there's a lot that's very similar, but there are some that are, like, so
off the beaten path that, like, ants or people?
People.
But I thought you were comparing human beings to ants and aliens or
studying all of them.
But what do you but what about humans is off the beaten path?
Well, how different each individual acts, how different each well are like
almost no one is exactly the same.
It's not that necessary, you know, it's just like you see when you have an ant farm and you see like the little tunnels that they take.
Yeah.
You're you build this planet.
You create you find this planet, you seed it with life or the basics of life, and then just let it go.
Yeah, And that's what you're seeing.
So
like a little tunnel in an ant farm is like our roads or our cities.
And they're just observing.
What's to observe, to go through all this trouble for what?
Learn more about your past.
Why did we study the ants?
They were there.
You just answered your own question, my friend.
Boom.
You should have just seen that.
Huge head just
explored it.
Yeah, but then we looked at ants and we're like, well, they're so fucking boring.
We could sell them to kids to play with.
Or,
yeah, not great sky.
Or subconsciously, we do it because it's being done to us.
Sure, but to what ends.
And it's the only way we can, our minds can handle it.
Maybe we're just a toy
for one individual alien life form.
You're some aliens dildo.
Yeah.
He's in his room with his little hair version of a Farrett Fawcett poster, some Bee Gees poster.
Planet Earth.
And he's got his toy for an alien child.
And he shakes us up every once in a while.
That's Men in Black.
And at the end, the Men in Black, like they pull back and
the whole universe is in a marble.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Yeah.
So I don't know, man, if Men in Black nailed the mystery of the universe with a throwaway gag, I'd be real disappointed if they did.
I'd be like, oh, fuck, they were right all along.
If you were told, though,
the secrets of the universe.
Okay, I love this.
If you were told the secrets,
or you're given the opportunity to hear them.
Yeah.
But with a warning, though, that
it could,
it will definitely change you forever.
Oh, it's going to be awesome.
Would you want to know the secrets, or would you rather just continue on the path you're on?
Because things are going pretty good.
You want to go in the matrix?
Why do you need to know?
Ignorance is bliss.
Oh, yeah.
What are you so curious about?
Yeah.
Curiosity killed the what, Q?
And you love them.
I do.
Cats.
No, I would say
you got to know.
You got to know.
You got to know if you can know.
If somebody's offering it to you, you got know.
How do you know?
I think you say that now, but I think that like you would want, you would give it a second and you'd be like, I got a pretty good gig right now.
Do I really want this heavy shit on my plate?
There's no going back.
Yeah.
Well, he's got to have a third act, though.
So now, like, he knows the secrets of the universe.
He could go out there.
He could become like a televangelist type type.
Well, no, if, like, all right, let's say that this year, well, what are the possible secrets here?
That none of it means anything?
Okay, there's a lot of things.
Let's say one of the options, one of the possibilities is that Earth is a toy, is an ant farm for one fucking alien's kid.
Yeah.
And we are one pissed off mother away from being in the trash can and done.
Yeah.
Man, there's a scale of time, like, is it like one minute?
Is it death?
Billy go in the trash can?
Is that the best?
The whole planet, yeah, that's it.
The whole universe just implodes.
Oh, because the kid's tired of Q.
Or the mom gets pissed off and I have to admit, if that was the secret, I wouldn't want to know it.
I'd rather not know that.
I'd rather be like, I don't know, that's going to help.
And then think about how it's going to affect you, that you know it's the truth.
Yeah.
And no one's going to believe you.
That's some heavy shit to
do it.
I don't want to know it.
That's so stupid.
All right.
Let's say it's not that.
And let's say it's another.
Let's say it's something
unimagined.
Something that even
nobody has ever come up with a scenario.
We're all facets of the same individual.
Something weird like that.
Or Or in 100 years, exactly 100 years, there's going to be coronal mass ejection from the sun, and it's just going to wipe out the 100 years?
Yeah,
it's going to wipe out the Earth.
I don't have a kid.
I don't give a shit.
But now you know that.
Oh, but I already know that.
I don't have a hat care of it.
But don't we know that already?
Isn't the sun eventually going to burn out?
Eventually, in
millions of years.
In 100 years, none of us are around.
And none of the people who are
around.
None of the people we know will be around.
Not necessarily true of the advancements of medical technology.
So you think
me and Walt are going to be 150 years old?
Yeah.
Yeah.
Well, I don't know.
I think Brian's right, right?
Like, we already know that's the end for everything anyway, and that's so far away we just don't even think about it.
But if you think about it, like, if in 100 years, it's going to be nothing.
Like, what is the meaning of all these stupid things like wars and disagreements over this piece of land is yours and mine.
You've been giving some of the appositions.
Listen to this guy.
He's all going to be like, hey, man, why can't we all just get along?
There's no point to that stuff.
Anybody can already tell you that.
Like, I don't know.
But knowing it for a fact.
The Earth ending 100 years after I died doesn't do it, wouldn't change anything for me.
It's just, I would care less about a legacy than I do.
Nobody's going to believe you.
Yeah.
Yeah, 10 years.
Now you're fucking talking.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Then you got to tell a couple people that you trust so they can really live those last 10 years.
Yeah, I'm like, guess what?
It don't matter.
None of this shit matters.
What if it was like an advanced race of beings who
put
who chose this world as a scientific experiment, brought all the all these creatures from other parts of the world that they thought could an experiment of sorts to put them all into this?
Oh, so tigers are from like a whole nother planet and shit?
Yeah.
And all this stuff is like one big, like
one big science project.
Yeah.
And it's, and now they're about to, they're going to end it at some point.
Oh.
100 years or 10 years?
You don't know.
What are they going to release us back to our planet that we came from, or are they just going to destroy the whole thing?
They're just going to flush it.
But now you're explaining life in general.
Like, you don't know.
Like, the other day when we woke up, we didn't know there was going to be wildfires.
We didn't know there was going to be 9-11.
We didn't know there was going to be this or that.
You know, a fucking earthquake.
So it's like, every day you get up, you have to realize this might be the last day.
But it's impossible to live your life like every day is your last day.
You just can't, right?
But if you know it.
If you know it for a fact.
But it is possible to live your life
like it's not going to be your last day.
Why is that so much easier?
No effort at all.
Everybody does it, though.
Everybody lives their life like
I've got plenty more of these.
There is no effort to live it like it's your last day.
Yeah, like they're not every day.
Well, Tom Cruise does.
Tom Cruise.
That motherfucker.
He is living life every day.
Tom.
He's on the side of mountains.
He's on the side of planes.
He's driving motorcycles off mountains.
You see that stunt?
Unbelievable.
And they're like, oh, yeah, we got to do it.
And he did it three times.
And he's not some young whippersnapper.
He's like 55 now, right?
Yeah.
I mean,
he is fucking amazing.
If you're Tom Cruise, is it far easier to be a Scientologist, like to buy into all that shit?
You're like, I must be special.
Everything
reinforces his belief in
what he's doing because
he defies.
He gets no L's.
No.
There's no L's for this guy.
No.
Yeah.
Well, didn't he write off his family, though?
Yeah, but still, he was ready for it.
Because they didn't believe.
He can't be weighed down by mountains.
That's a hardcore belief.
You're inviting some clown gliders in.
You start talking about that shit.
I didn't think about that.
Yeah, don't you wish that he
wasn't a Scientologist so you could like him
a little bit?
This goes back to my argument last week with Arnold.
He has has built so much goodwill for me in terms of the entertainment he's given me that I don't care if he believes in a fucking alien that lives in a volcano.
Okay.
Go for it, man.
He's not hurting me, but that's.
It's really no different than I feel anyway, that, like, there's a God that lives in the sky.
It's like, why is one crazier than the other?
Because one is just an older belief system.
Well, I think it was just like
technology's nuts for sure.
I mean, that's the science creator.
I think that's the thing.
I'm not sure Star Trek, though.
I mean that that's no that was Gene Roddenberry yeah he created Dianetics L.
Ron Hubbert who created Scientology wasn't a science fiction writer L.
Ron Hubbert
did a Battlefield Art oh I thought it was Star Trek was the same dude okay scene Roddenberry
yeah that's what I mean though like he clearly wrote that shit like I don't know I don't you're right though at the end of the day I don't care what Tom Cruise does at some point L.
Ron Hubbard was like wait people believe this yeah wait all right now you now you the argument could be made though that like well he ain't hurting anybody well Scientology you know there's a lot of people who are saying it does hurt people though that lady from the show you like quint king of queens
yeah so that's the the rub is where like
but personally
like I can't get all like I got too much to worry about on my own little fucking my own little planet you know planet Flanagan that I can't fucking worry about the rest all the world's ills like Scientology if it's bad or whatever I tell you I just got to worry about my own fucking gig even with all the awfulness that you read about Scientology, it still means less to me than my pool being green.
I hate it.
Can we go real quick on this last one?
I wanted to get Hugh's thoughts on the 21 grams
soul thing.
Which is 0.03 ounces, so it's less than an ounce.
Very small amount.
Duncan McDougall in 1907, he was a sound guy, he was a physician.
Sounds like a drunk to me
From Massachusetts.
I know him.
From Massachusetts.
And he hypothesized that souls have a physical weight and attempted to measure the mass lost by a human when the soul departed the body.
McDougall attempted to measure the mass change of six patients at the moment of death.
One of the six patients lost three quarters of an ounce upon death.
He attempted this also with animals and found that there was no weight loss ever in an animal.
And And he theorized, though, that animals don't have souls and that's why they don't.
Fuck him.
Come on.
You ever look into like a dog's eyes?
That's a soulful looking animal out there.
A cat's a monkey.
A monkey?
Monkeys don't have souls?
What does the Bible say?
Bullshit.
What does the Bible say?
I don't know.
But do animals have souls?
Did they ever weigh in on that?
No, I don't know.
I got to imagine Christianity weighs pretty hard on them not having souls, I bet.
But when you're young, they always tell you that there's cat heaven and dog heaven.
Yeah.
They do have blessings for them.
This was rejected by the scientific community, and
McDougal's experiment popularized the concept that the soul has a weight, and specifically that it weighs 21 grams.
And to this date, this is the thing that bothers me, though, and to this date, there has been no effort to investigate his findings, though.
And it is totally frowned upon by any scientific community that if you were going to be like, you know what, I want to weigh that corpse right there because it just died,
you might get thrown out of school or you might get ostracized.
What do they not want you to know?
Exactly.
Why is there such a reluctance to go back in and look at the findings and
do a study?
But once we find it out, they're like, wait, turns out it's true.
Oh, you know why they don't want it.
How does that affect me?
You know why they don't want the scientific community doesn't want anything to do with that.
Oh, because that'll lead to religion?
Yes.
It'll fucking blow a hole right through their fucking
an arc sized hole right through their fucking argument the jig is up then
but no why would it though like if your soul's going to heaven that pretty much confirms things for the scientific
science
yeah not for science it doesn't yeah but you do algebra you just said it blew a hole in the world right religions no it blows a hole in the scientific community's theories that you know that that that's all mumbo jumbo
you know that's why i that's what always bothers me is when I read stuff like that.
It's like, no, no, no, we can't even study it, we can't even talk about it.
But what is, you know, like my question is.
There's plenty of that going on.
What's your name?
Zoom, doing, zoom, zoom, zoom.
Peace assholes, whatever.
I've got more.