#556: Q’s Cup Overfloweth

Well, maybe she didn't want to be locked into a second dinner with you that she then had to be.

She's eat dinner with me again, whether she likes it or not down the road.

It was game one.

What is wrong with you?

What is wrong with you?

Well, I hear that I'm done with the, I'm done getting crunked.

Yeah.

I'm done getting crunked.

And then, and then, inevitably, like a week later, man, I was so crunked.

Tell him, Steve, Dave.

Hello, and welcome to to this week's edition of Tell him Steve Dave here with Walt.

Yo, and I'm here with a very taxi driver-esque looking cue.

Hello.

Try to spickle.

Yeah, pickle action.

Yeah, you know, it's,

I

wasn't prepared to be on camera today, you know?

So this might be looking good, though.

Oh, yeah.

You like to have that laid back.

Yeah.

This is it.

This is a real me.

All right.

Let's do you.

This is a real me.

That's a real you, yeah.

This is a real me.

All right.

Fucking glasses make me look cool.

um

so if you're listening to this on audio you can go to youtube uh at tesd town and check out the video and if i might remind some of you last week i said what we're gonna do this week is we're gonna do a split screen because we want to try something different we're sort of like experimenting with this kind of stuff and a couple assholes have to fucking be like it looks like shit you guys are lazy

guess what dickheads we're not doing the fucking editing It has nothing to do with lays.

Who do we pass it on to?

No, it's the reason is that the split screen is easier.

Like, there's no editing involved.

So Rupert can just put it up there and do whatever he does.

Much faster processing time.

So less work.

Less work.

Right.

Some might say lazy.

No, some might say that we were getting.

Well, some are saying lazy.

Some are saying lazy, but it has nothing to do with laze.

No.

It has everything to do with, like, here's two different ways we can present it.

Which ones do you guys like better?

Some people like the split screen better.

Other people don't.

This particular cock

had to fucking mouth off.

And I was so fucking annoyed.

I went out of my way last week to be like, here's what we're going to try.

No.

There's always some fucking dickhead who has to mouth off.

Yeah.

You know?

Usually it's me.

Do you know who this dickhead is?

I didn't even, I'm not going to name him.

But I mean, is this a repeat dickhead?

I don't know.

I just saw it once.

All right.

And then I wrote back some snarky comment, and then I'll look again soon.

So what are we doing today, split screen?

What are we doing today?

Replace split screen?

I was going going to do regular.

You're going to do regular?

Why?

You don't want to take the heat?

You don't like that.

Come on, camera.

Come on, Michael.

Come on, you little puss.

Come take fucking credit for your work.

Yeah, we got lots of stuff to ask, Rupert.

One, I'm concerned for him.

About what?

I'll tell you in a minute.

Concerned for his health.

Really?

Yeah.

So this is everybody.

This is Brian Rupert.

I'm sure you've seen him before on video.

If you have Patreon, probably.

And he's one of the camera guys' editors.

And the first week he did the like back and forth editing.

The next week we did the split screen.

We were talking, like, you know, because Q schedule is pretty erratic.

If it's just me and you, then it's easy.

We could shoot it on Tuesday.

He could have all week to edit.

But like today, you know, it's Wednesday.

Sometimes it's Friday, Saturday.

Sometimes we only shoot yesterday, and we only knew yesterday that we were going today.

Right.

Yeah.

Yeah.

So

the reason was so that we could get the episodes out faster to everyone.

Nothing to do with laziness.

I understand.

Right.

Yeah.

Well, you saw comments and you thought that you weighed it in your mind and you're like, I'm just going to go back to the because people like to see,

like, if I'm talking and I say something and you guys laugh, they want to see your reaction.

If one of you guys says something and I laugh, they want to see my reaction.

You know, they want to see.

And I thought the

the Joe DeRosa episode was a perfect example of like

you like I like if you're just listening to audio, all you see is Walt, like all you don't see Walt's face.

So you don't see that dismissive, you're so fucking stupid.

How could you not get this look?

And I feel like that's important to capture,

you know.

So I don't know, Rep, it's it's a, you're gonna be the maestro then.

You're gonna have to, how long does it take you to cut it versus split screen?

Um, split screen is literally, you know, just putting it on top of each other, making sure it's framed and getting it out.

It requires almost no work at all.

The other one, I actually watch each angle, I see which is best for the conversation.

You know, like I

really take my time with it and I try to do the best I can.

So, so people are saying they like your hard work better than I think most.

Yeah, well, that's like that's nice.

Yeah, your work's appreciated.

Yeah, I could put out both because the split screen is so easy to do and give people the option, but you know, I could do that, yeah.

And not only is he our cameraman editor, he's also our booker

he's the guest booker a lot of hats so he made us look like ass he's gonna tell he's gonna reveal something oh really he did yeah remember oh well he looked up you but yeah but but he yeah he did he did say something that was kind of like questionable to uh to one of the uh potential guests of the one of their i guess their handlers okay but he also says that he has some major news to drop today about a guest he is pretty sure is going to become not not pretty sure

Did you get that devil's guy after all?

Go ahead.

Well, what was the what was the, yeah, we were kind of, I don't think we even told you.

Yeah, you sent us what you sent to Henry Winkler's, the Franz's, Handlers,

and

you described our podcast as reaching millions.

Yeah.

Yeah.

If you're including Impractical Jokers, then yes.

But if you're only including Telstein Dave,

it might be a little bit of a

I viewed it like I don't know, so I could just plead ignorance and it makes you guys seem much more attractive.

Yeah, but you should know, you shouldn't be ignorant on anything or not.

You are the customer, you know, people listen, although I don't, I'm not sure either.

Yeah, that was my only thing that kind of made me go, yeah, it was great otherwise, but I'm just like, how do we prove that millions of people listen to us?

Yeah, million, not just one million, millions,

millions of people listen to us.

Yeah, that might be a good thing.

We'd be the biggest fucking show.

Yeah, we would be like Drogan.

Yeah.

All right.

Oh, Rupert.

So you're working on Henry Winkler.

It's looking good.

It's almost a lock.

Have you heard back from Henry Winkler's camp?

Henry Winkler's camp completely ignored me.

Damn it.

So he's no closer.

All right.

But who have you made some inroads to?

So today I contacted Ace Really's camp, the guitar singer.

Ace might come in.

You never know.

I know he lives in Jersey.

He's local.

I contacted Peter Chris, too.

They didn't get back to me.

But someone in Ace's camp did respond, and they're going to run it up the flagpole, they said.

This is almost as good as getting them.

Just a response is enough for me.

You know, what did you say?

Yeah, just well, last time, yeah, you said just the fact that he reached out was enough for you.

So now you're demanding more.

Now you're like, come on, somebody didn't ask me.

What was the response?

I'll read it.

Wow.

Who gave you this million?

This person, so-and-so, is best suited to help with this request.

I'll let the two of you take it from here.

And that was the.

the little intro.

That's good.

It's the first step.

He's just shuffling off responsibilities.

I've never, we get asked again on podcasts all the time, and I hate doing every one of them.

Well, because most of the people that ask you, they have like 12 listeners, and you're like, Look, I understand you're fledgling podcast.

Like, I used to do it for people sometimes,

but

it doesn't do anything, like, there's nothing in it for you, except just the feeling of helping somebody out.

Yeah, for me, that stuff is fine and cool like that.

I mean, I've never, I don't think I've ever been on like

this podcast aside, like on

like, I don't even know what a huge podcast would be.

Like Bill Bird, Joe Rogan.

I'm not getting on that.

I'm not getting on those.

Yeah.

Like they're not going to have me on.

So then everybody else is just kind of what I have already in my own.

Unless it's Sal and DeRosa's.

Yeah, it tastes buds.

Yeah.

So,

you know, I get why they're not answering these emails and stuff like that.

That's my point.

Anything from the Buzz Aldrin camp?

I I actually followed up.

Follow-ups are, that's cool, too.

I really love that you're doing the follow-up thing, too.

And I still haven't heard back.

Get him set the bar so low.

The goal is to have somebody singing in that seat that isn't Rupert.

Okay.

Why are you worried about his health?

Why am I worried about his health?

Because I normally don't go on Facebook.

Once in a while, though, like I'll go on there to look at something or Mary Beth will send me a link or something.

And I go on and I see this.

Now, this is like, I feel like Walt falls into this as well.

This is a Brian Rupert post from like probably seven or eight days ago.

I will never know joy or happiness.

I can't wait till my fat ass heart explodes in my chest.

Now, I'm assuming the devil's waltz.

Yeah, that may have been after

game two, right?

It was game one.

What is wrong with you?

What is wrong with you?

First off, you're posting like a fucking teenage girl looking for attention.

Why would you write that?

You're making us look like a bunch of sissies, man.

And then on top of it, I'm like, this is a guy with a wife and a kid on the way.

Yeah, yeah.

Who gives a fuck about the devils?

Did the post have like something to signify that you were talking about the devils, like an emoji, a hockey emoji?

I just assume anyone who actually knows me and knows their game Shellac51 would know.

Yeah, that's pretty heavy shit to just lay out in the world.

I know, I probably shouldn't have done it.

You know, that's one I regretted the next day.

Just delete it.

Yeah.

I could.

Well, just to edit it, just put hashtag New Jersey Devils.

Or just write jk

yeah any number of things any number of things that are like is rupert considered suicide

for what oh you didn't hear the devil's got shellacked

i saw that i was like there's something wrong with people who are really in the sports there's something definitely like missing in their brain that they give a fuck if a team wins or not

why is this different from a movie what do you mean Like you go see movies, they're all fictional characters doing made-up stuff.

Like, why does that matter?

Because it's a story.

But with sports, you're kind of like, like, these guys are like, we won.

The number of times I hear people where you've like, as if they're on the team, like, oh, we won, we lost.

We're doing that.

Because you're a fucking sports fan.

So you don't think that

he becomes the extension of a city?

State pride.

State pride.

How else do you display your state pride, Rupe?

I have a house.

I pay taxes.

Yeah, he came to Jersey.

He was a Staten Islander.

Now he's a.

It's because it was too expensive there.

Yeah, but he's a he he loves Jersey so much.

He moved here.

He loves the devil so much.

He's like, I got to go to Staten Island and represent Jersey.

I feel like it was his wife saying, we're moving to New Jersey.

I'll start back in there.

Hope my heart explodes.

Yeah,

I could recall those feelings, you know, devastating losses in 94 and 2001.

And even if there was social media back then, I wouldn't have written that.

That's yeah, that's a little bit too

like you're too wrapped up in the world.

It makes people concerned.

Like, I know Rupert, so I'm like, he's not going to fucking kill himself.

But, yeah, people who maybe like fringe or just see it are like, whoa, what's this guy?

What about your family?

When they see something like that, they don't reach out and be like,

they're so used to shit like that.

Like, you know, I've been a Jets fan my whole life, so they kind of know how it goes.

And is this the only thing that gets you blue?

Sports?

I get blue about other stuff, but this just will send me like actually anger.

Like, I don't get angry.

I get like angry to depressed.

So, that's kind of where that sends me.

And do you think maybe then you maybe sports isn't for you?

Then maybe you should take a break.

And yeah, you like lots of other stuff.

You like movies and TV and all kinds of shit.

Like, just drop the sports, drop the devils, drop the jets shit.

Would you be happier?

Yeah, maybe, but I couldn't do it.

Like, I've tried, and I've got to be a lot of people.

Dude, I don't watch sports.

Look how happy I am.

I'll tell you, but I am a case you could look at, though.

For the last five years.

I didn't follow the devils.

I didn't have that awful feeling in my stomach.

I didn't have those ups and downs and those horrible, those when you know, the, you know, you're, oh, we're going to win.

Oh, no, we lost.

And you're, you're crashing.

I didn't have that for five years.

And I was happier, I thought.

But we watched the playoff games together.

You were right back into it.

I saw you screaming, motherfucker.

I was, but yo, but I'm setting myself up for disaster, though.

I'm setting myself up for the inevitable crash and where I'm going to be miserable for like two days.

And I wonder if I made a gigantic mistake, you know, going back into this.

Well, it just depends if they win or not.

Right.

But

odds are they're not going to go all the way.

If they win, though, you do carry that for a year.

Oh, more than that.

That's a pretty good feeling.

It's almost two years.

Yeah, you're right.

You're right.

By the time the next year, you're like, oh, they won last year.

I don't care.

Yeah, you're right.

I got you.

Can't win them all, I guess.

I still got it.

Yeah, I understand.

You're right.

Yeah.

So, yeah, I mean,

I want to see how you react, you know,

when, when, when, because we watched a couple games together, and the devils have won both of those games, so I want to see how you react.

Um, you know, remember, I have to take your phone away

or block you on

because of it, exist why you can't go post it on Facebook, some crazy ass shit.

Would you let me have your phone in case so you don't do shit like that?

And then after the game, just go to his house and pick it up.

yeah i find it really weird like me like i find like caring about if a sports team win or loses yeah like that feeling is like me trying to feel like what it is to get a period or something which men can get

very good brian thank you thank you well here's the thing if you watch the team regularly and you get to know the players then it's almost like you're watching a a scripted TV show because you feel you develop a relationship with individual players.

I got that in wrestling, but in hockey, same shit still.

Yeah, because at least hockey's real.

So that's a lot, it's a lot more, you know, there's a lot more invested in it because at the end of the day, you can always be like, well, it was scripted, you know, I mean, it's a storyline, right?

But this isn't a storyline, though.

So,

and it's also, I do think it could be because I don't know if you have any hobbies, though.

Who me?

Yeah, you.

Well, what do you consider a hobby?

Something that you enjoy.

Video games.

Video games sometimes.

Yep.

You were hot and heavy on that for a while.

Yeah.

I don't play many video games anymore.

I've been more into the YouTube stuff.

I'm like researching a lot about YouTube and shit.

Sage wants to start her channel.

So I'm going to be on her channel.

That's good.

We're going to play Uno because they won't let me play video games

because I get too mad.

So they're going to play the video games.

Wait a minute.

And you're concerned about him?

But at least I'm not posting it on facebook.

At least my family knows that I might to show myself to them

yeah they won't mary beth won't play with me at all anymore yeah and uh sage probably would but i don't really like playing the game she plays so i was like all right well what can i do then and i was like well while they're playing the video games i'll run the chat and then on the uh the other side i'll be like i'll play board games with them play with uno and like uno sounds pretty boring on the surface but

Sage talks so much fucking trash, it's unreal.

It's unbelievable.

I was playing with her the other day, and I was like, I wish this was recorded.

She won't stop.

She won't let up on me.

It's just grinding you.

Yeah, grinding me down.

Can't stand it.

All right, Rupe.

So

how are you going to operate moving forward?

Because you can't live like this, right?

You can't live with

for this many months out of the year, live with this kind of

distress and this kind of anxiety.

Well, he's the type of sports fan that I wasn't, though.

He has multiple teams that he likes and that he loves.

So he's able to then be like, if the devil's going going to eliminate it, he's able to immediately be go, all right, but the Jets got Aaron Rodgers.

So he'll be able to hang his hat on somebody.

So he saves that wound with the Jets stuff.

But it's just a temporary fix.

Right.

Because, you know,

the odds are Rodgers may have a good year, but it's probably not going to be a Super Bowl year.

Can I call something?

Yes.

Jets are winning the Super Bowl with Aaron Rodgers.

Oh, boy.

I'm calling it now.

You shouldn't do that.

I'm setting myself up on this wipe.

You want to bet?

I don't even know who's in the Super Bowl.

I'll bet you.

No, no, no.

That's another thing he may have a problem with.

Oh, really?

Yeah.

He's got a gamble.

Oh, really?

You know, technically.

Can make back that painting.

Tell me Rupert's paying for you.

The pigeon just flew into the coop.

It is.

That's not the guy you want to sit next to.

They get your fucking life advice from.

I have to put this on two cards.

This card said three hours before.

Now I'm looking at it up and it says 34 minutes.

okay i could we could just do a second i'll pop in a second afterwards the i'm gonna buy all new i'm gonna buy 100 gig cards i'm tired of it uh okay so

uh last week or the week before we went to see bruce campbell yeah i told the story last week yeah i wondered why people were asking me about the cup people were talking about the cup but what version of the story did you tell of the cup uh the real version

where you were looking around for it and we were sitting at the table watching watching you look for it.

Well, was it a regular episode or was it

a regular episode, yeah?

Oh, okay, okay.

Yeah, it was on the regular episode.

So, so, yeah, Bruce Campbell made me poured me his personal tequila stock into the cup, right?

Gave it to me.

Fucking hero made me a drink.

Made me one, too.

And then right in the garbage.

We're walking around with it.

It wasn't like I stole it off the off the

tequila.

It was like that.

Yeah, so like we just took and walked off his tour bus and we're like walking around with it.

And then at the end of it, I was like, well,

why would I throw this out?

Like Bruce Campbell made me a drink in this.

Like I'll keep this.

Right.

Sentimental.

Now it wasn't like it was an evil dead cup or anything.

It was just like had some

random insignia on it.

Right.

I heard you may have been a little blotto, though.

Not at that point.

I was later.

But maybe that's why you put so much emphasis on the cup.

Well, that's the other thing I'm sure that I have to correct.

I didn't put that much emphasis on the cup.

Oh, yes, he did.

Oh, yes, he did.

I wish I recorded it.

So do I.

You're over by the bar and you're looking all over the place.

And those people are going crazy.

The helpers are the staff is going nut, right?

They were, right?

They're looking all over.

So far I'm with you.

Okay.

He can't find it.

He's mischaracterizing one of two things already, but we'll.

The next thing you know, they start plunging their arms down to their fucking shoulders in garbage cans and coming up with mustard and shit all over them.

Mr.

Quinn, Mr.

Quinn.

Yeah?

We can't find it.

So this is what happens.

All right.

We're standing at the bar.

We ordered food.

We went to a table.

I got to the table.

I said, oh shit, I left my cup at the bar.

Went back to the bar.

I said, I wasn't on the bar.

I said, hey, guys, by any chance, was there a blue cup here?

And now, is this just, again, I wasn't given a good description.

Is this like, just like a blue solo cup, like a plastic cup?

You know, I'll put the picture for you.

A little bit more than that, but yeah, sure.

So just a plastic cup.

It's not a solo cup.

It would come in a bag.

It's like if you went to a concert.

If you went to a concert and bought it, they would give you like a plastic cup.

It says like the jewel on the side.

Gotcha.

Okay, I think you did show it to me last week.

Yeah.

Oh, did I?

You refreshed my memory.

So now, because he wasn't there,

he doesn't know.

I said, I said, no, you know, I was literally like, no big deal.

If you guys threw it out, I said, it's fine.

But I said, if you have it, I want it.

Right.

They, then, yes, they started going all over the place looking for it.

And I was over there going, not going like, guys, find the cup.

I was going, guys, it's not a big deal.

I'm going, it's not a big deal.

I'm like, guys, don't worry about it.

I said, it's not a big deal.

I said, it's my own fault.

I said, I left it on the bar.

So don't, don't worry about it.

He starts digging through the garbage.

And I'm going, don't.

I'm like, buddy, don't, I go, if it's on the top of the garbage, it's fine.

I go, but don't go digging through it.

So I go, stop.

I go, stop, stop, stop.

And then I walk over to the table and they're laughing.

And I'm like, I'm like, asshole.

I'm like, the guy, I said to him, I'm like, why the fuck did you do that?

I go, the guy's hand was in the fucking garbage.

I'm like, why'd you let him do that?

They're laughing at it like it's the funniest thing in the world.

They deserve it.

They deserve it.

Why?

Because if that was my cup, they never would have went in the garbage.

It's only because they wanted to suck your dick.

All right.

That's why.

So I thought it was fucking funny that they deserved it.

They deserved it.

They fucking took my friend away.

I go out with my friend

to a restaurant, to a show.

I get to see him for two minutes, maybe.

Everybody's taking pictures, glad handed, all kinds of shit.

Q's preaching to some fucking kid about life.

I was teaching that kid lesson.

Like an hour.

Yeah.

Like an hour.

You were blowing at this point.

He was.

At that point.

Well, that guy was a weed dealer.

Oh, was he?

Yeah, that's why.

He fucking pulled out some weed and we started smoking a joint.

And then I couldn't shut up.

Yeah.

Oh, whoa, you're, you, you, do you want to reveal that?

What about the firehouse?

Oh, I'm not worried about that.

It's legal.

You could, you could smoke it now.

Though he, he did

on the downloads for so long about the firehouse, right?

Well, I was never, I never smoked it when I was in the firehouse.

Oh, I admit, maybe, because you wanted to go back.

I can't remember why now.

Well, it was just illegal.

Oh, okay.

Yeah.

You know,

you don't want to go.

telling people you're a cement head

i thought so i thought that's the way i thought everybody everybody normally rolled out proudly.

Apparently, that's not the case, though.

Well, but times have changed.

It's like legal now.

Now it's now it's uh if you're not a cement head, you're the one that's fucked up.

That brings me to my next point.

Hold on a second, though.

Because what part didn't you like?

Because

as I recall it, as I recall it at that same bar, maybe I'm having a different thing, but weren't we surrounded by a beverie of hot young women all night?

We were.

All right, so what is the fucking problem here?

I will say this, too.

We're surrounded by by like a sorority.

Why, though?

Because they want to take pictures and shit.

So I'm there doing the work, and these guys are all there fucking just talking to hot girls all night.

Like, why?

How is he the victim in this situation?

I'm kind of the victim.

I'm taking the pictures with a hovering hand.

It's like I'm not fucking touching him and stuff like that.

I will say this, too.

Despite his inebriation, Q dispensed some solid advice.

To who?

The weed dealer?

To the weed dealer, yeah.

What'd you tell him?

At no point did he say don't deal weed, but he did.

No, what am I going to do?

The guy's, he wasn't

great life life advice.

Yeah, it's just standard stuff.

I said, oh, yeah, you mentioned not getting a girlfriend to your 30.

Yeah, don't get a girlfriend to your 30.

Don't get married to your 40, stuff like this.

Standard stuff that I try and tell people who don't know.

But don't give up.

Yeah, I mean, Brian John, he's a poly dream.

He's difficult to please.

We went out this weekend, too, and he didn't look like he had a good time at all.

Where'd you go?

We went to a Kmart.

Yeah, imagine that.

I didn't have a good time.

It's the last.

It's the last kmart in jersey though okay all right

they didn't tell me that till later otherwise i would have only 10 minutes away so it's a two hour and 40 minute round trip thing but we went to kmart to check it out and i thought it was cool because it's like it's almost like a time capsule yeah you get to walk in and it and it feels like holy yeah man it's big floating back classic red k oh yeah yeah all right yeah i'll tell you what felt like you were at walmart okay

no different i don't know if he's happy anywhere i said to Beth, I was like, if it had been like, hey, it's a special, like,

a special viewing.

It's like this Kmart hasn't opened its doors since

1988.

And all the product from 1988 was still in there.

Then I would be like, this is fucking awesome.

It was just a fucking store.

Okay.

But I was happy to be with the company I was with.

The destination was like, whatever.

I don't know.

I don't know.

I like that vibe.

It was just like, I'm going home.

Oh, no, because

I want to drive another hour to a fucking antique/slash flea market shop.

And I'm like, we're heading south.

I'm done.

Apparently,

I got third-hand information that, like, I want to just go home, watch TV, and smoke weed.

Who said that?

Somebody overheard me?

I was done with Kmart.

I don't have shopping.

I have a hard time being in a car for more than two hours at this point.

Okay.

But what are you doing?

The Blue Light Specials still?

Blue Light Specials?

Yes.

That's nice.

No cafe, though.

No cafe.

I didn't see any cafe.

I was bummed about that, but it still was, it was interesting.

The Kmart Cafe,

because now anybody listening to this probably never went in one or never will get the chance to, was way better than it had any right to be.

The Kmart Cafe was like, it was like a real restaurant.

Now you go into Walmart and they got a fucking pizza hut jammed up in the front and everybody made like two tables.

The Kmart Cafe was on Staten Island, Holland Boulevard, at least, was

a full restaurant.

This is the guy we should have brought.

Look at the passion.

Look at the

look at at the joy when he's talking about Kmart.

Yeah.

You know, yeah.

Should have brought him.

I'm sure he would have went.

Yeah.

Oh, man.

We can't even get him down here half the time.

But, but it did.

Like, okay, so we went with Frank and Mary and Walton, Deb, you know, his wife.

And we go to.

He offended my wife.

What a surprise.

We went to Red Robin.

She offended me.

I'm offended by your wife and by you.

Yeah.

All I did,

asshole that I am, yeah, I'm like, I'll pick up lunch.

Don't worry about it.

Let me buy lunch.

Cause that's the way normal people do it.

Sure.

Well, we went out with Troy.

Troy picked up dinner.

Yeah.

And the next time I go with Troy, I'll pick up dinner.

That's it.

Me and you go out.

We switch back and forth.

You would have fucking thought the way that like these Flanagans fucking insisted I take the money back that like it was the last payment on their house and they're like, we want it free and clear.

Like they don't take generosity.

They act like you're the asshole.

Well, maybe she didn't want to be locked into a second dinner with you.

She's eating dinner with me again, whether she likes it or not.

Down the road,

I was offended by that.

I'll tell you that much.

Yeah, I was like, just, I was like, it's okay.

Don't worry.

And then she overpaid on top of it.

She gave me an extra $10.

And I was like, here, here's it back on.

Here's $10.

I'm not going to refuse her.

You want the $10 back?

I'll give it to you before we leave.

I was like, I have $10 right here.

It's only $30.

In fact, it was not even that much.

But why was it even $30?

Deb insulted.

Yeah.

How did she get it?

Because Because

she was happy because she found this woolite that you can't find anywhere anymore.

Oh, my God.

Brian goes, wow, we're so old.

We're talking about woolite.

We are.

When you were 20, could you imagine being excited by dark woolite for dark?

I just didn't fuck around with that.

I was including myself.

No, you didn't sound like it.

I was including.

What?

I said, we?

I'm not talking about me and the devils.

I'm talking about me and my fellow old people.

I was like, I can't believe we're excited about Woolite Dark.

But I get excited about stupid shit, too, all the time.

I sold a whole bunch of napkins from Chili's the other day.

Helen walked past the yarn place, and she was like, oh, what sort of yarn do we have?

And

she's like, I'm getting old.

She's like, I'm talking about yarn.

And she's only 30.

Well, this is the Flanagans all over, though.

They don't want to admit that they're getting older.

They want to pretend they're fucking 20 still.

So?

What do you mean, so?

So?

You're only fooling yourself.

You're not fooling anybody else.

Everyone else on earth is like, oh, thank you for picking up that meal.

I'll get you next time.

Not the Flanagans.

Yeah.

Like I said, if you want to get, you want to throw me some money?

You got it.

You want me to go here today?

I will refuse it.

I will take it and I'll thank you for it.

Sweetheart.

Offended.

Wow.

Offended because I said something about her woolite darkness.

She was really excited.

What is Woolite?

Woolite is.

Like a fabric softener.

Yeah, for delicates.

Okay.

And his wife's problem was that when she uses regular woolite, these little marks on the clothes.

Dark woolite doesn't do that.

Okay, got it.

So I was like, all right, I get it.

And I was like, but still.

But she's not used to that kind of like, you know, personal in-your-face reality.

You know, like Josh and in ribbon, like that.

You know, she did, but she agreed with me.

She goes, yeah, we are old.

Yeah, but then I heard about it later, though.

Right.

You know.

Why is she?

Okay, she's young.

Why did he say that?

She's young.

I'm sorry.

I was wrong.

She's 19.

You know, Brian.

It's like that guy who is like, women in their 50s aren't in their prime.

Women in their 50s aren't in their prime.

All the women in their 50s are like, oh, yes, we are.

It's like, no, bitches, no, you're not.

No, you're not.

None of us are in the 50s.

None of us.

I'll pass the price.

Stop kidding yourselves.

Way past the prime.

I just think it's this generalizations that you tend to throw out, though, that like nobody under the age of 50 would talk about Woolite.

I think

they would, but they wouldn't be excited like your wife was.

She's dancing a jit over there.

Whoa, whoa, look what I found.

Sal and I have a running joke where when we find SLs talking about shit like this, we're like, oh, we're writing a middle-aged sitcom.

And like, and it's because because if sometimes we talk about is so

boring and stupid, and just like nothing to do with the shit we used to talk about as you know, younger men, yeah, it just happens, man.

It happens because that's the shit that

when I was 20, I wouldn't have been curious.

She just didn't expect to get like, you know, to get age shamed called out like that, yeah, publicly.

Yeah,

I could see it on her face.

It was like if I had cursed her children,

it was that's why I left.

It was so ugly.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

I'm like, I need to go get high.

Oh, wow.

Frank rat me out, huh?

All right.

No, it wasn't Frank.

Who, what, Mary?

Yeah.

All right.

Yeah.

All right, Mary.

Why is that a rat?

I know why you're

not.

Why is that ratting you out, though?

Because I'd rather go home and watch TV than go to a fucking antique store.

I didn't want to offend you guys.

Oh, well, too late.

Yeah.

I didn't know that Dark did the trick.

I would have just been like, fuck you.

I see you later.

If I knew I was already in the doghouse.

You got to be careful.

Yeah, I know.

That's what, that's what Frank is the, like, when he goes out, he is, he's not like calling out, like, you know, the choice of fabric softeners or, you know, spaghetti sauces.

He just is like, that's a great sauce.

Or that's a great fabric softener.

It's rah, rah, rah.

That's what Deb requires, huh?

A fucking yes man

to not offend her because she's so fucking sensitive.

You know, I'm not that guy.

Why would would you annoy me?

Hasn't she known you longer than she's known Walt?

I've known her since second grade.

Yeah,

why would he say that?

I'm like, I don't know.

Why aren't you just like, because we're old.

And it's weird that we get excited about shit that fucking, when we were younger, it wouldn't have mattered.

We would have laughed at it.

If her mom was like, oh, I found Woolite Dark, she would have been like, oh, God,

you know, I can't believe my mom's excited about it.

I'm not willing to just, you know, throw in the towel and be like, just because we mentioned Woolite, that like, you know, we're ready for

the grave.

It's all the other shit, too.

Hurt feet, hurt testicles, all this stuff, all this stuff.

Me, hurt me.

We're all fucking, I think I overused mine.

Even the modalises fall apart.

It wasn't really.

Yeah, I think I overused them.

That's right.

That's why they broke.

That I believe.

It's not because they're broken.

Every one particularly rough session.

No, no, it's not.

Oh, my balls.

The girls are like, what?

What did you say, Dad?

It was just that, you know, over the course of the, like, over the course of time, you know, like, I was told when I blew out my knee, it was just because of overuse.

I was too hard on my knees, like, I was playing too much strenuous sports.

Oh, wasn't it your colon that was in jeopardy?

No.

If you're talking about overuse, colon.

Yeah,

I'm done doing my colon.

It's an admission.

Yeah, prostate.

Prostate.

Yeah.

There you go.

All right.

Well, sorry to say.

Sorry to be the bearer of fucking bad news.

We're all old.

That's just the way it is.

We're not ancient.

We're not elderly.

I wasn't like, hey, Deb, do you want to take the scaffolding?

Let's talk to the youngster.

Do you consider us old?

Nah, I don't.

What's he got?

Yeah.

Do you want to go out to dinner with Deb?

Because

she'll love your agreement.

He did the next night.

You know what?

I like that rub.

He's a sweetheart.

He's a good guy.

They're not being real in front of her.

She likes phoniness, I guess.

She likes his asshole get him.

She described described him as ambitious during lunch.

I was like, what?

Because he, do you want to know why he's ambitious?

I got to know why.

According to the Flanagans, the reason Gidham is ambitious is because he had a coupon for a free sub, right?

Yeah.

So he goes to Wawa to get it.

They can't figure out how to like scan.

They couldn't scan the phone.

And the coupon's only valid for an hour.

Yeah, for another hour.

For a sub.

What ambitious.

So they're like, you know what?

We can't scan it.

Just take it.

Giddem is then like, ooh, I could go to all the Wawas in monmouth county and get free subs all day well for the hour for the air

driving around monmouth and middlesex county you know going to all the wawas i'll give him the free sub that's what they count as ambition i was like jesus christ how low is the bar

that i'm ambitious wow but you don't think that like

And you know, I love you, but like all these things seem to be revolving around you.

I know.

When I hang out with you,

is there any of this

kids?

I'm not happy with your actions.

The mustard trash.

Mustard trash

had nothing to do with you.

That was between me and the staff.

Had nothing to do with you.

When I saw that mustard, I was so happy.

I was so pleased.

I was so nice to us.

They bought us so many shots.

They were like, if you guys have any special areas that you want to close off, do it.

No, no, no.

We're okay at the bar.

Oh, are too many people coming up?

We'll stop them.

Don't worry about it.

No, no, no.

Everybody's having a good time.

Everybody's been respectful.

No problem.

Blah, blah, blah.

Couldn't bend over backwards more to make sure that my experience.

What was this place called?

Let me ask Troy.

I'll tell you next.

This bar in Long Island, they could not have bent over backwards anymore to make our time there more comfortable, more welcoming, like

everything.

When he says hour, he means mine.

Just so you know.

Just so you know.

But like, what are we talking about here?

Like, why would we, how many free shots did the bar send us that night?

I don't know.

I mean, you you drank them all, so how could I?

Oh, my God.

Lordy, Lord.

I mean, I definitely got hammered.

I'm not saying I didn't for sure, but I was high on Bruce, man.

Yeah, you were.

Come on.

I got to say, it was a really fun night.

It was really fun.

Yeah.

And I was, I mean, even when they're digging through the garbage, it was still fun.

It was fun to watch, you know?

Like, I didn't have a bad time at all that night.

It was great.

It was fucking awesome.

We went out to dinner.

Then we went out and had some pre-Bruce drinks.

Then we went to the theater.

We're on the bus with Bruce.

The show show is great.

Q is awesome on the show.

Got to go up on stage with him and do a little like performing with him and stuff like that.

It was like a dream come true night.

I don't really get too, I don't really get too crunked anymore.

You know, what is that word?

Crunked.

What does that mean?

Does that mean drunk?

Drunk.

Yeah, I don't get crunked up anymore.

You say that a lot, but every time we hear, like, you know, no, it was a holiday thing last time.

Anyway, so

there's always a reason to get crunked up.

I don't know.

I hear that.

I'm done with the, I'm done getting crunked.

Yeah.

I'm done getting crunked.

And then inevitably, like a week later, man, I was so crunked.

Sometimes you just gotta get crunked.

I hear you.

You deserve to get crunked if that's what you want to do.

All I'm saying is it was kind of a special night for me.

Right.

You know, they tell you never meet your heroes.

And I met one of my heroes, and he turned out to exceed what I wanted.

I mean, that almost never happens.

You know what I mean?

So it was, you know, it was a good night.

Nice.

You know?

James Joyce and Patrog Long Island.

James Joyce was the name of the bar.

And holy fuck, like during the day, cool-ass Irish bar at night, club.

It's unbelievable how packed it got.

It was, yeah, it was really packed.

And I mean, you want to talk about old?

I mean, everybody there is like 21, 22.

Oh, they look like children.

They look like so.

So little.

Like, you can't, you see people drinking.

And you're almost like, I feel like I should call the cops.

There's no way these people are old enough to be drinking, but they are.

They're 22, 23 years old.

You don't know that, though.

though.

Maybe they have fake IDs.

That's what I said.

I was, I told, I talked to the owner.

I was like, are you sure all these kids are

wanting to ruin anybody's time that I could?

Yeah, those guys are great, though.

Good, good.

Nice to us, except for the part where Brian had the staff

digging through fucking piles of old food and

mustard for something that he knew wasn't.

I'm dead.

It was funny.

We were dying.

And then he's critiquing the wool-like conversations the next weekend.

It's like, and this guy's never happy.

He's a problem.

By the way, I went up to the staff.

I've never thought about Wool Eight twice.

I ratted him out.

I went right up and I went

to an asshole because I knew they were going to be looking.

I go, my asshole friend had it the whole time.

He was making fun of me.

So, guys, please.

And then you got to tip like 110% to make up for the fucking life.

Oh, it costs you money in the end.

Of course, it does.

Guys, turkey trash

got golden fensures all over his arms.

He looked like he was wearing a yellow sleeve sunny shirt.

Oh, it felt so bad.

Oh, it's awesome.

That was funny.

It's awesome in retrospect, but at the time, I felt really bad for the kids.

Actually, you know what?

That trip to Kmart cost me far more than the trip to Long Island.

Oh, yeah, yeah.

Your wife all of a sudden found

a lot of value, a lot of bargains at Kmart cost you $100.

Because we started dieting and shit, and she's like, I'm going to get in shape, so I'm going to buy these clothes that'll fit me in the Or, you know, that's a later.

That's always a good idea later on in the fall.

So I go $120 later, she has all these fucking Kmart clothes and shit.

You don't like that?

There was a they look cute, though.

I'll say this much.

They did look cute.

Me now.

Me and Frank did not partake in the conversation, but me and Frank were in the front seat.

But in the back seat, they were wondering why Mary Beth wasn't allowed to buy a decorative yard frog because it looks stupid.

It was like, they were like, if you knew how much money she fucking spends,

you would start shutting it down, too.

Why would Brian not allow her to buy a frog if she wanted a frog for 20 bucks and just what was it what how did that what was the consensus I just turned the radio up I don't want to hear

but you just said her parents are richie rich they give her all the all the frog money she could need no no no they they she doesn't have frog money she got christmas money okay that christmas money has to also go towards other things like the house all the shit she wants to do the pond which they're working on for two days now the koi pond two days the guy's like in all my time in the business this is probably top 10 worst ponds I've ever seen.

Yeah, he was like, they must have not done anything to it for fucking 10 years.

You would have the top 10 worst ponds.

Not at all.

Not at all.

Not at all.

Of course I did.

It's very, very unbranded.

Yeah.

Par for the course.

He saw he found all the fish corcas on the bottom.

Yeah, but I mean, I have to say this, like, he did one of the smaller area pond and he like water.

pressure washed it, took the fish out, took all the mud out.

And it does look, it's really clear, not like when you guys saw it.

So that's what he's doing to the second part today.

But I'm like, two days of these guys digging mud and doing all this shit.

I'm like, how much is this going to cost?

Right.

How much is this going to cost?

They give a fuck.

The wives were so concerned they went into TJ Maxx looking for that frog.

Let's buy it for Mary Beth's.

That would have been awesome.

And I was like, no, no, no, I don't think it's a good idea.

Don't get in the way.

Yeah,

they're like, they wanted to go buy the frog.

You don't want to set them off?

Yeah.

If she wanted that fucking frog, she would have bought that frog.

She's no victim.

She said she wanted a frog and he wouldn't let me buy it.

And of course, that's so stupid looking.

But every time she goes somewhere, she's worse than a child.

I need this.

I need that.

Every fucking time she goes out.

We can't go to Kmart without buying $120 worth of clothes.

Oh, we went to this place.

We got to buy a frog.

Oh, wait, we're going to just a buck.

We only went to Kmart for Mrs.

Five, and she spent like less than five bucks in there.

And Mary Beth walks out of there fucking

covered in bags, just like trying to make her way to the car.

Wow.

Oh, Oh, damn.

My fucking nose piece came off my glasses.

You just broke your glasses.

I broke my glasses.

I'm so worked up.

Yeah, so that was.

So, so did you,

did you buy clothes that future clothes?

Future clothes.

I would say

not this summer.

I think this maybe the end of the summer.

Yeah.

Or next year if we say we go on a vacation of some type in the early part of the year.

Even if it's a working vacation.

I don't know.

I'm just saying.

I understand.

All right.

And that's my goal, too, because I'm fat as fuck now.

So by January.

January.

I'm not going to try to go for the summer.

That was originally my plan, but I'm like, that's two months away.

You could lose.

You could do a lot of stuff.

I do a lot of damage in two months, but I think for my clothes that I bought when I was at my peak, I'm going to wait until...

Why didn't you buy some Kmart clothes to motivate yourself?

If you saw my closet, there's enough motivation there.

I have like fucking 12 pairs of of pants, tons of fucking shirts.

None of them fit because like I bought them one, like I said, when I was in like peak condition.

So

I'm not going to be able to wear them till I'm like 200 pounds.

I think you can get there.

I can do it.

I did it last year.

Or not last year, but a couple years ago.

It took me from July to October to lose 50 pounds.

But now, like, you know, I've been doing it.

This is going on a week two.

I'm constantly woozy with a headache because I don't eat it.

Oh, yeah.

So it sucks.

It really sucks.

But what are you going to do?

I shouldn't have sat there during the pandemic eating like a pig.

We all did it.

It wasn't just you.

Yeah.

We all did it.

We all did it.

Don't be too hard on yourself, buddy.

Okay, I won't.

Come on.

Sorry.

You're a great guy.

Thank you.

Everyone loves you.

Yeah.

Especially Debbie Flanny.

She was.

I can't believe that

sets her off to the point where she's not upset.

They're talking about it.

Miss Five's ratting me out.

They're trying to fucking undermine my authority by going and buying a decorative frog.

No.

No.

no way.

They're lucky they didn't buy it for her because she would have paid the price.

That's why I said,

you know what the fallout is back at the Johnson Chateau.

I said,

if you bring them that frog, I said,

you know, it could be.

I like it, though.

I like that they think I'm just so cruel that I'm like, no.

Like with no reasoning or anything like that.

Well, that's what you said.

You literally are like, no.

I want to go home, smoke pot, and watch TV.

Let's go.

And Kay Park straight drove away and left us in the parking lot at TJ Maxx, right?

And the girl at least are just like,

what just happened there?

Look, I know Debbie wouldn't want to acknowledge this, but we're old and I like being straightforward with shit.

Yeah.

No time to dance around.

I don't have time to dance around anymore.

Or, nor do I have.

When did you not have time to ever dance around?

All of a sudden, now you don't have time.

I've danced around.

Look, dude, I'm constantly doing some sort of dance around your wife because I'm like, I better not say the wrong thing.

Little did I know that remarking on Wool Like Dark would have set her off.

I had no idea.

All you got to do is just agree, whatever.

Whatever the conversation is, you just go, Yeah, like Frank does.

Yeah, Frank's a pussy.

How are you hardcore?

How are you hardcore?

Because I fucking brought the truth about Woolite Dark, and she wasn't willing to accept it.

Frank's just there, like, yeah, I have dark clothes too.

You could just watch that one.

I'm

not agreeable.

I'm not agreeable to that.

Yeah.

Oh, you know know what?

We need to do, man, before we forget.

Let me see.

How much time do we have on this card rope?

Can you see that, bud?

Six minutes.

Six minutes, right?

This is going to be less than six minutes then.

All right, hold on a second.

Where do you put our youthful

vibe energy we put off?

Give it like a one to ten.

Ten is like what?

Ten is like, you know, like high school, like, yeah, yeah, like a teeny bopper.

I'd say.

How old are you?

I'm 35.

Okay.

Baby.

Yeah.

All right.

Yeah.

But he's spending a lot of time.

That's why he's writing suicide notes on Facebook.

But he spends a lot of time with older men.

No, that I believe.

We've been hanging out.

Leave it at that.

Leave it at that.

There's nothing wrong.

But you spend a lot of time with people who are older than you, right?

Yeah.

Okay.

So you think he's the guy?

I think I'd like to get his

vibe.

I'm like,

but that's a lot younger than me.

Sure.

You're right.

Dude, he could be my son.

You're right.

Dude, I would ask mary beth and she's old she she'll be like yeah i'm old because she's an old lady no because she's because she's been around you too long no she was old the day i met her the day i met her she was not into like any of the shit that people in their 20s are into sincerely doubt she was binge watching little house in the prairie she wasn't i had to introduce it to her exactly right making my point right yeah i was like she would have she would have watched it if she didn't want to though she loved it and we're going to do that on patreon for anybody who's on patreon.com slash tell him steve Dave, uh, Mary Beth and I are going to do a retrospective of Little House on the Prairie, L-H-O-T-P, as we say, uh, and um, as we say, yeah,

me and Mary Beth.

And uh, we're not sure exactly what the format of the show is going to be yet.

We were talking about it today, we want to figure it out so it's so it's interesting and people will take it and they can watch along, you know, that sort of thing.

All right, individual numbers, yeah, individual who's the oldest to the youngest, not chronologically, you're the oldest, yeah, yeah.

No, why?

See, it's like 10 days.

I am.

I'm just speaking truth to power.

I am old.

And then it's like closer old.

Then he's just fucking

shrivels up like a big, fat, wet pussy.

And it's like, I'm pussy's puffy.

Oh,

how dare you call me old?

Because he's the only reason he's saying that is because he's afraid of you.

Everybody's afraid of you.

All these motherfuckers are afraid of you.

How much am I doing?

I can defend my argument.

Okay, let's hear it.

I think you are a little bit kind of of the most cranky, you know?

Curmudgeonly?

Curmudgeon, yeah.

So I think that energy kind of makes you seem to get off my lawn.

Yeah, yeah.

I'm not saying I disagree with you.

All right.

I'm a little curmudgeonly.

I'm not that agreeable to a lot of things.

I'll say that.

But what makes me, just because I'm curmudgeonly, makes me older than Walter Q?

I think it's just that this fucking motherfucker, he doesn't do anything young people do.

Anything.

He goes to sporting events.

You know,

you have tickets, he does.

That's why.

That's why he's saying Walt's Young.

It's no, it's the vibe.

It's the, it's what, it's what, it just, you can't help it.

You just, you just, you just,

you permeate the room with a youthful vibe.

That's what I do?

No.

That's what you do.

That's what you do.

That's what you and Q are doing.

Yeah.

Okay.

I don't have to, you know, I don't have to go get Blotto to do it.

Well, I do.

That's what you're saying.

He doesn't do anything young.

You think that the only thing young people do is

with gay guys?

I'm like, this reminds me of the sopranos, fucking Johnny kicks and shit.

I'm like, I'm not going to any antique shop with you guys.

Walt and Frank probably paired up.

There they go.

Yeah.

So

you're saying Walt is most youthful?

No, I think Q is the second most youthful.

Yeah.

Q is the most youthful.

I would agree with that.

Q is always out and about going to concerts, meeting up with people, going to the city, all that kind of stuff.

Yeah, Q's like a 23-year-old college guy.

Yeah, that's me.

There you go.

You don't know Q that well.

That's the energy I get off.

I'll take it.

You go out and drink a lot, though, and stuff.

A lot, But I won't shy away from it.

Do you drink?

No.

I'm like a 65-year-old man myself.

Yeah, what is this

view that that's only what young people do is drink?

I think it's like just kind of like a more young thing to go out and get like blotted at bars and stuff.

I don't know.

Yeah, I don't know if you're a good arbitrator of bars.

I don't know.

I mean, although when I go to, well, when I go to the liquor store, it's pretty rare, but if I go to a liquor store and there's like a bar in it, it's usually older people.

But you're talking clubs and stuff.

I'm talking like more like, you know, not your Applebee's.

The second you buy a house for me, it was like the second I bought a house, I don't want to go anywhere.

Why would I go to a bar?

I'm like, I have a house, and it's fucking awesome here.

Like, but but when, but when you don't, when you're living with other people, where you're living with your parents, when you're young enough, still at that stage, I think you got to get out.

And where you're going to go, you're going to go to the fucking bar because that's where everybody else is, and everybody's drinking and having a good time,

you know, unless you want to join a fucking pottery class or whatever.

But who the hell's doing that at like 23?

So, you told me what makes me old.

What makes Walt youthful?

I'm dying to know.

Yeah, this is going to be fun.

I can't wait.

Now he's on the spot.

I think that's almost undefinable, right?

No,

I think I can define it.

A serious Genesis quad.

I don't think you can define it.

It's just whether either you got it or you don't,

right?

That's don'ts with a Z button.

That is why I want a camera on this.

I want to be able to see this.

You don't.

I think you at times have a real youthful enthusiasm for certain things.

Like woolly.

Like different projects.

Like if something peaks you in the right way, you really do.

I revert to like 17-year-old Walt.

Yeah, you get really jacked up about some things.

I remember 17-year-old Walt.

He wasn't jacked up about shit.

Nothing.

Metal.

Metal.

All right.

He got jacked up about metal.

He got jacked up about metal.

Yeah, but then, you know, then, you know, that metal kind of goes by the wayside.

And then I'm searching for that next jack.

Yeah.

What's that next thing?

What's your latest jack?

I just think creative projects.

Yeah.

You know, you'll be getting artistically

caught up in doing some things with Patreon stuff.

Those are my, those are things that jack me up now.

Yeah.

Yeah.

That's really all that's really left for me to do.

It sucks, right?

I was thinking the other day, I was like, oh my God, is this what retirement is like?

Like, I do something like one or two, once or twice a week.

I don't like it.

I think that's why I get depressed.

Haven't you been retired for like seven years?

Yeah, like decades.

1990s jobs.

I know, but I'm finally catching up with me.

I'm getting bored.

What are you talking about?

I was on TV for seven years.

That's not a job.

That's a job.

Yeah, I worked in

Kevin Stewart.

Yes, but...

It's not the traditional job.

It's not.

If you can't see that it's not the traditional nine-to-five job that you gave up on the

society, what they deem as

an occupation, you gave up on the nine-to-five is not

probably when you were 35.

Yeah, you should do the same thing I did, man.

Look at me.

You got a kid in Noah just fucking

everything.

It all works out in the end.

Look at me, man.

I'm buying portraits.

Oh, God.

But if you're getting bored, why don't you start writing again, man?

Yeah, I'm working on something.

Somebody called the Horror Writers Association.

I'm working on something for Walt.

I've been, like I said, I've been really working on the YouTube stuff a lot.

Right.

And going to do the little house thing.

Yeah, I got some projects lined up that I want to work on because it's just, it's, it's getting too boring.

And I don't want to work on shit at the house.

I look at that garage.

I'm like, I don't want to clean this shit out.

I'd rather just work on something.

So, like, whenever we do Patreon or this, I'm like, I'm always ready.

I'm always down to do anything because it's

clean out the garage.

Yeah, that's, yeah, I have to do it seemingly every a couple of months, and it's a fucking

soul-crushing

thing to do.

There's no fun involved in this.

And then when somebody will be like, wow, it looks so nice.

Don't you feel good that the garage is all cleaned out?

Now we can get a car in there.

And I'm like,

I don't care.

I never cared about that.

I forgot I have to read this.

We got an ad?

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Now, Rob just showed me a response of one of a potential guest, upcoming guest.

And one of the concerns I never even factored in because I want to

drop your name and as much as possible.

I don't think that's a good idea.

Yeah,

it wasn't.

I would ask you not to do that

because people are so concerned that it's going to be a setup for

like an IJ bid or something.

Oh, that's interesting.

Some cryptid guy turned us down.

Yeah, a lot of like some of these, you know,

they hunt the cryptics.

the animals like the big oh okay and we want to get a jersey devil guy in here and once he heard that you were involved he did did not want any part of it because he thought it was going to be

because that's usually the way they do it.

They tell you ahead of time that you're going to get pranked.

Stupid fucking stupid fucking cryptid asshole.

But he has no idea, though.

Once he hears that, like, it's.

I mean, to be fair, I'm probably going to call him

a bullet.

Maybe he listened to the ghosts, the ghost hunters, and it's like the vortex and the pants shit.

Rubb said he's not going to go for that.

So should we not mention?

I don't think mentioning me is going to get any traction whatsoever.

I don't know if I agree with that because it's like, hey, Walton Bry from Telling Steve David comic book men, people are going to be like, what?

Yeah.

And practical jokers is current.

And people love that.

It's very recognizable.

But it also, but the connection, though, I think, especially for people who don't want their work to be taken as a joke,

you know, maybe leery of walking into something

associated with a guy who is

going to get 10 years

doing funny stuff.

Joking and practically joking.

He doesn't want to be a practically joker.

He's a very serious man.

Very serious person.

That's what he said.

No?

More or less.

He said, hold on, I'll pull up the quote directly.

I would be interested in appearing on the show if you can positively assure me that the topic or me will not be treated as a joke.

I've watched him practical jokers and enjoyed it, but I have no desire to be on the receiving end of that sort of thing.

And then he follows it up by saying, I have a sense of humor.

But that's not the first person.

It was the Jersey Devil Hunter.

Yeah, Jersey Devil guy, too.

Who's that person?

This is another supernatural kind of one.

You could assure him, just be like, it's not that type of show, man.

Like, we were doing this before the.

Rubb gave up.

No, no, I told him.

I said that guy wasn't.

It's not for if he's that concerned about it, because I even said we'll throw him some bones, too.

And then he said, well, then I get three times as much an appearance fee for what you're watching.

So I was like, fuck you.

Cut him loose.

There's no chance.

You don't need him.

What do we got?

Oh, here's something.

I got two Crypted People booked, though.

Yeah, we do have somebody who wrote a book on

the big book of cryptics.

Yeah.

He's willing to come on.

It's a female author.

Zoom?

I'm not sure.

She said in July, I assumed it'd be phone.

Okay.

This is who?

Sorry.

Female author who wrote a big book about cryptids.

Okay.

She's like, I guess she's kind of an expert on all the

cryptid creatures.

By the way, you could just say author.

You don't say female author.

You know what?

Yeah, I was intrigued by that because

I thought that that's a pretty spooky topic for chicks.

Yeah, for girls to handle.

Yeah.

Oh, you mean a fake animal?

Don't say that.

Don't say that.

But all I have to go on is my personal experiences.

My wife is scared of Bigfoot.

My daughters don't want to talk about when we talk about UFOs and Jersey Devils.

Okay, like shut the conversation down.

So I'm just like, I told you.

Can't we talk about what, like, dark?

They don't want to talk about that stuff.

If I put that on TV, they're like, change a channel.

So I don't know.

That's all I have to go on.

It's like, I find that females aren't into cool shit.

They probably aren't, but to be like, oh, they're afraid of them, that might be a stretch.

I was speaking, I was talking about Uno earlier on playing with Sage.

Do you think it's bad form?

as part of my trash talking to tell Sage that she's my property?

no, because I'm like, I own you, you're my property.

It's trash talking.

It's trash talking.

Mary Beth's like, don't say that in front of her.

You don't mean it.

You're not giving the impression that you actually own her.

You're trash talking.

She turned, like, Sage turns around immediately and says something back to her.

Yeah.

Yeah.

In fact, she stole it later on.

She told me that I was her property because she won the game.

And that's when Mary Beth is like, oh, see?

So now she's saying it.

But I was like, I don't know.

That doesn't seem bad, right?

I think everybody's so sane.

With Sage, I think it's fine.

Right.

Yeah, but you go down to the local basketball court and you start talking like that.

Right.

Yeah.

Why?

Because Black Tyre's going to be there?

That's what you're saying?

No, you're a racist.

Or the tennis court.

Whoa.

Or the tennis court.

Let's slide down a little.

We don't want to be associated with these two.

I think it's all where you say it and who you say it to.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Well, yeah, I don't think I would say it to Mike Tyson, but I might say it to Sage again.

You know, me and Q are talking.

Well, what would you do?

I don't think I asked you this.

You're at a party.

Oh, yeah.

Because this is a tough one.

You're at a party, and for some reason, you look across the room.

It's like it's Qs, you know, it's a Q event.

So you know there's going to be some famous people there.

You look across the room and Mike Tyson is staring you down.

He's like mean mugging.

He's angry.

And you're like, there's nobody between you two.

So you're like, there's no doubt he's looking at me.

And then he just,

he looks like this and then he charges towards you.

What's your move?

I think I'm going to, I think this may be a case of mistaken identity.

You can't possibly be here.

He's not going to listen to me.

Oh, he's not listening to me.

He's charging you.

Whatever mistakes you're charging.

You're going to be reasoned with Michael Tyson.

Yeah.

Whatever you look like, that's your fault.

You shouldn't have done it.

Yeah.

Like, what's the point?

Well, can't I call you?

You're the, it's your point.

He's charging at you from fucking 15 feet across the room.

Yeah.

You should step in and get in between us.

I don't know what's going on.

He's looking for his money.

I don't know what you said to Mike.

No.

We got to distance ourselves at that point.

I think that the running over is too.

I said this to you when we were talking about it.

I was like, I think that the running over is just because your options are too limited.

Like then, but what do you do if you're at the party and you just notice that he hates your fucking guts for some reason and he's staring at you and like his fingers are twitching.

He's muttering to himself, like, what do you do?

Because at least, because the only thing you can do if he charges you is run or die.

I would get my coat and leave.

Right.

You would just leave?

Or just leave.

They'd be like, where are we going?

I was like, we're going to go to Kmart.

For Love Olight.

Okay.

All right.

Mike Tyson's beating him up right now.

But what would you do?

Like, what could you do?

Like, if you thought he was going to kick your ass, you're like, okay, I'm going to leave.

I'm just tell Q.

He's like, Q, he's already charging at you.

That's not the fucking scenario.

He's charging at you.

Kick him out, Q.

Q, kick him out.

He's staring at you.

He's doing it on purpose.

He's doing it on purpose because he doesn't want to say that he would fucking fall to the ground like a pussy and cover his head up.

You can't leave.

He's running toward you from here to that door.

He's like, fuck it.

I'm going to get him.

You have to react in the moment.

Do you own any guns?

None that I'm willing to talk about on there.

Say that much.

You're not packing at this party with all these celebrities.

And I'm not throwing the party at my house.

It's not at his house.

It's at like an event, like an IJ event type thing.

Yeah.

Yeah, there's a lot of people there.

I see why

you would say that then, because that makes sense.

It's in Q's house.

It's like

this is his problem.

We're at an IJ event.

Q's been glad hand in.

I would go into the bathroom and I would just stand up.

He's charging.

He's charging at you.

He's fucking charging at you.

Do you just

fucking fall to the ground?

There's only two twists.

I just go cover up because I just okay, thank you.

That's what I was doing.

That's the brunt of

the charge.

That's what I was told I should do.

By who?

Mary Beth.

She was like, I would want you to fall to the ground and just cover your head up.

Yeah, you go into that like a pot, like a possum, or what's that thing?

Yeah, the possum.

Yeah, I roll.

I roll up.

Yeah.

Armadillo, Armadillo, yeah.

I try to go armadillo on him.

Oh, so you like, you totally like.

And I'm hoping that somebody's filming this when all their phones are out so that I could sue when they say funny, right?

NQ.

Because it's an idea, man.

Stop it.

You didn't kick him out when he saw him staring at me from the last time.

This is your problem.

I'm a witness.

Yeah.

So you're going to have to call me in.

Yeah, I would do the same thing.

Because I was watching him box the other day on YouTube.

It's inhuman.

It's unreal.

Yeah, it is unreal.

It's like a step above it.

Did you invite any other fighters maybe that I could convince to oh, like Conor McGregor's there?

Yeah.

Ken Shamrock, I think.

Buster Douglas.

Ken Shamrock.

I don't think he's going against Tyson.

Ken Shamrock's sharping.

On the flag again.

He's a Shamrock.

Yeah.

Ken Shamrock is shopping for a wool like dark.

He's too old to be fighting.

That dude was big in the 90s, right?

So was fucking Tyson, wasn't he?

Let me say that.

And Tyson seems to have not lost his edge at all.

Oh, and that was the other thing I saw.

And I'm sure people have seen it, but if you haven't, there's a little bit on Mike Tyson on YouTube where he's in Canada and he's getting interviewed and somebody asks him like, the guy says to him something about being a convicted rapist.

Boom.

The switch goes on and Tyson wants to fuck him up.

He's just like, you're a piece of shit.

He pretends you're a real guy, but you're a piece of shit.

And he won't stop staring at him.

It's frightening.

I would be so scared.

Just pull up Ken Chong.

Ken Chalk's only 59.

There you go.

I'd be like, us Irish guys got to stick together, Ken.

Right.

You know, help a brother out.

You know, he's like,

he's going to be, he's Irish, so he's wasted.

He's like, you're no Irishman.

You're not drinking.

Give me a minute so I can get into the microphone.

You're not drunk.

He's not getting crunk.

No, not at all.

Yeah.

That was, that, that would not be fun.

So what do we got?

What do we got coming up?

Uh, we're not, just so everybody knows, we're not going to do video every single week simply because of Q schedule.

And it's, it's, you know, it's difficult to get out of the camera.

I don't want to be on camera every week.

Every week.

Yeah.

I think we're going to, you know, we'll do it here and there from now on.

We just kind of wanted to get it down.

We're going to do guests.

I got some guests lined up.

I'm a much more successful booker than fucking Rupert.

So far, I got DeRosa and Pam and Edgar.

Oh, that's pretty good.

You've got to be here.

That's pretty good.

Yeah.

I want you guys to have all kinds of questions for them.

All right.

Just, I think the week of May 8th, I'm not around.

Okay.

Other than that, I'm around.

All right.

So that's what you have to look forward to, everyone.

Pam and Edgar is going to be amazing.

Pam and Edgar.

First time in 30 years.

I feel like it's all been building to that.

Right.

Yeah.

Like, if there was going to be a series finale of Tell him Steve David, she'd be the Pam and Edgar.

Yeah.

But I don't.

Firstly, I don't have anything else this week.

Yeah.

It's all right.

That's all right.

Now I'm fucking

banned from the Flanagan household until I make it right.

Hey, you know, you're right.

I don't know.

It's the littlest thing.

You see the littlest thing.

And if Flanagan gets offense, go buy some Willite.

Oh, she's getting a case of it.

Yeah.

I'm going to fucking go on Amazon.

I'm going to find it.

And that's how I'm going to make it right.

I know, don't you?

Oh, yes, I am.

Oh, yes, she was going to buy that fucking frog, right?

Undermine me by buying that frog.

That was more Mary than Tim.

Oh, was it?

I'll have to talk to her then.

I'm some kind of monster.

I'm just like, no, she just bought a ton of shit.

We have Amazon packages, multiple Amazon packages, Wayfair, this place, that place, Etsy, constantly.

She doesn't need a fucking frog.

Tell him something, Dave.

God damn it.

Ribbit.