#554: Joey da Rose

And then one day, Q was like, you know, Johnson like fucking loves you.

And I was like, really?

Say lateral thinking.

Say it.

If you know what that is, good for you.

Unilateral thinking.

Part of your mind.

Wither, grow, dark light.

Fuck you.

See, this is why he's an asshole.

You see the face?

Tell him, Steve, Dave.

Hello, and welcome to this week's edition of Tell him Steve Dave, both audio and video.

Mm-hmm.

We got some cameras running.

You seem real happy about that.

Yeah, I like it.

Well, I'm excited.

Yeah.

I'm excited about today.

Walt, how you doing?

Good, how are you?

Pretty good.

We have the first.

His face looks different, right?

I think it's because he's smiling.

Yeah.

That's what I mean.

He seems excited.

I can't not smile around Joda Rosa.

I can't do it.

It's so weird.

He's smiling.

I practiced at home.

Mary Beth would like, she would like hold up pictures of Sage, and I'd smile.

I wouldn't smile, hold up pictures.

like Like Joe DeRosa came up

that's tomorrow right

try to be heading video yeah

then I'm here to hear

but yes the first in our guest series Joe DeRosa prolific comedian podcaster TV star he's been in movies he's done it all this guy I've never been in a movie I don't think but you ever been in a movie I've been in I thought you were in a movie

I was in well I'm not a TV thank you all the things you're saying are nice Come on, man.

You're on one of my favorite shows on Earth.

I think I was in one ever movie.

It was an indie flick.

It was a gangster movie.

I played an asshole

patron, big fucking stretch,

in a pizza place or something.

I think it was called Revolver or something.

Okay.

So a movie.

You know who started it?

Or one of the stars was Kathy Najimi of Hocus Pocus family.

Oh, I like her.

Yeah, yeah.

Yeah.

I wasn't in the scene with her, but she was, I met her.

She was nice.

You know who she's married to?

The Dan Finnerty of the Dan band.

Wait, what?

Yeah.

She is?

Isn't that a fun fact?

She is?

She is?

I didn't know that.

Yeah.

Oh, that's wild.

It's cool.

I always get her mixed up with Nia

Vartolis, my big fat Greek wedding.

Oh, okay.

Who I worked with her husband.

And how was he?

He was very nice.

All right.

Everybody's nice.

Everybody's nice, Jordan Russell.

Everybody loves Jordan Russell.

Anyway, sorry.

Thank you for the nice intro.

Yes, I got to tell you, you weren't a lock for this first guest.

This is big.

A lot of people, you know, I went online, I went on Reddit, I went on Twitter.

A lot of people are like, they don't need guests.

We don't want guests, which on one hand is like very sweet, and I appreciate it.

Like, these guys are enough for me.

But at the same time, it's like if we never had guests, we wouldn't have Sunday Jeff.

We wouldn't have

Jimmy the Hare guy.

We wouldn't have this one.

We wouldn't have that one.

So it was between Joe DeRosa and a guy who writes a New Jersey Devils newsletter and passes it out to his friends

that's our guest booker right there he was going to try to get a fucking New Jersey Devils writer for this that's great

that sounds like a great guest style yeah yeah yeah yeah I love it I love it so you got to prove yourself like you have to you have to win people over so that we don't get shit on I'm not the first ever guest no other people have been on but like this is like we haven't done it in quite some time and it's never been it's been like oh sal's coming in or this one's coming in, or, you know, Troy's coming in.

I think this, but we're using this as the birth of a new direction for TSD, where we're going to bring in, you know, you're now part of the gang.

Oh, great.

Yeah.

Okay, great.

This is it.

This is the birth of the new era.

So how it goes on this episode speaks for future guests.

You guys have put a lot of pressure on this.

I don't know, man.

Well,

you know,

people tend to

really not like me for no apparent reason.

I find that it is a real love-hate with Joe DeRosa.

What I read online, it's like people are like, I can't stand him or I love him.

There's really no middle ground with Joe.

Yeah.

And you guys share something unique.

You both have a laugh that people recognize and remark upon.

Oh, yeah.

Yeah.

I was reading about Joe DeRosa's laugh last night.

What kind of laugh do you have?

Like a cackle, like a Burt Reynolds-y witch cackle.

Oh, I love it.

I mean,

you guys are throwing up all those pop culture references.

Like, I'm kind of lost because I'm like, for me, pop culture ends in 1978.

It's great.

So,

I have a laugh.

I mean, yeah,

that speaks to me.

That's like, it's like a symphony.

Yeah, I agree.

I agree.

I fell in love with.

I have a horseshack type of laugh.

Oh, you sound a little bit like horseshack.

Your voice, like you've gotten that.

I didn't try to cultivate that.

It just happened.

Right.

Well, it's so natural.

Did you ever watch the, I went down a Welcome Back Cotter rabbit hole on YouTube the other day.

And I don't know what started it.

I just started watching it.

But I started watching interviews with Ron, whatever his name.

The guy who played Horseshack.

Yeah.

And he's one of those guys where it's weird seeing him in interviews because he doesn't sound like Horseshack.

You know what I mean?

And he's very like, you know, I went in and, you know, and you're like, it's, you're like, wow, this guy's a really good actor.

Like, you know, you're expecting him just to be walking horseshack.

He's the

passed away.

Right now.

I don't think there's anything.

Ron Polito.

That's his name.

I think only Barbarino is the last living sweat hog, right?

Epstein.

Died.

Epstein and Epstein.

Freddy, Boomboom, Washington.

Boomboom's still alive.

Oh, he's okay.

My girl isn't, though.

I just, it's funny.

Cotter came up.

Yeah, Deborah Lee Scott.

She came up on my YouTube yesterday, so I watched a 10-minute thing about her.

And I wasn't aware that, like, she was really well known for her big tits and her fucking shirt popping open during game shows.

Oh, yeah.

Yeah.

She's a hot sweat hog.

I mean, the female

just never really connected.

Well, wait, but she's not a hot.

You're talking about his wife, though, right?

No, not her.

I'm talking about Hotsy, the student.

Oh, Hotz.

She's like a red.

The wife died.

Yeah.

The wife died.

Oh, from Augum, Gabe Kaplan's cotton screen.

Yeah.

Wife.

Yeah, the wife.

Who wears the Gwyneth Paltrow glasses.

You know, he's still alive as the principal.

No, Woodward.

Get the fuck out of here.

So under

and six years old.

Yeah.

But, like, it's wild.

Like, Polito didn't go to the.

Yeah, yeah, I hear the horseshack.

It's a good laugh, dude.

The um Polito didn't show up at the I hate I'm doing that thing.

I hate when people do this.

I went to a fucking I hate when people do this.

I went to a Jack Daniels event last night, and a guy was giving like all this history of Jack Daniels on stage, and he was talking about how Sinatra was the one that made Jack Daniels famous because it was an unknown brand before that.

And Sinatra discovered Jack Daniels through Humphrey Bogart.

And the guy's on stage going, that's the thing with Bogey.

When Bogey was out, it was like, I was crawling out of my fucking skin.

And I just did it.

I go, Polito didn't show up.

But when they did the TV Land reunion, he didn't show up.

And I've got the feeling that he maybe resented

being known as Horseshack.

And he got typecast.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Right.

You know, he was only, I think he only like parlayed that into some Love Boat appearances and maybe a Fantasy Island appearance.

Same with this girl, Deborah Skyless.

Like she was, she was on game shows and she was on Fantasy Island and Love Boat.

And match Game.

You got to figure out Horseshack was probably one of the more popular of the Sweat Hogs, right?

Like everybody loved him.

Yeah, lovable, but certainly, you know, everybody wanted to be a Bob Arino.

Yeah, sure.

But in watching the show, people loved him.

I'd say he's second most popular.

And he couldn't get a career going after one of the most

popular sitcoms of all time.

He says in the interview,

the interview that I watched was from, it was still on.

They were in like season two or three.

And he said, like, he's like, he's like, yeah, it's kind of weird.

And you, this is where I was like, oh, he fucking hated this because he's like, he's like, you know, I was playing, you know, King Lear, and he just kind of weird game of Horshack.

And I'm like, oh, shit, he's one of these guys.

Well, fucking King Lear don't pay the mortgage horseshack.

So put on this fucking oversized jacket, get out there and laugh.

Yeah.

We've been watching Marry With Children lately, and same thing.

Same exact thing.

With which character?

Wait, what did you say?

I totally lost track.

You were just saying the same thing I was saying with which person.

Yeah, she did.

No, I was asking with which person, because I feel like they all, except for Faustina, all went on.

I got

glow.

I'm telling you, I woke up yesterday and I said to Mary Beth, I felt good.

Like whole winter, I feel like shit.

I haven't done anything around the house, barely.

Constantly depressed, constantly like, I got to call a doctor, that kind of shit.

Yesterday I wake up and I'm just like, wow, I feel good.

I feel really good for some reason.

I went out.

It's 80 degrees out.

It's really nice.

And I was feeling good yesterday.

I'm feeling good today.

But yesterday, I was like, and I was curious about this walk.

I'm on my way home from Red Bank with Mary Beth and I'm talking to her.

And I'm like, what if, like, at the end of your life, like your last day, God makes it so it's a great day, regardless.

It doesn't matter if you're going through cancer, like in your mind, you're not.

Okay.

You're somewhere else.

So I'm like, what if today is my last day on earth?

Yeah.

And I don't even know it, but that's God's little parting gift to you.

It's nice of him to give it to you.

No, I was having this

because a lot of people got murdered, their last day was over, but they wouldn't know it, though.

They wouldn't even know they were murdered that day because, in their mind, they're living a totally different life.

People that are trapped in basements, like handcuffed to a radiator, I'm not counting those guys, okay?

Those

and it's not their last day, they still have more suffering.

That's what you're saying.

On the day you're actually going to expire, God goes, I'm going to put your brain in another situation so you don't suffer in the end.

And I said, What if moments after that, because it's all on the dash cam audio get into an accident and die both of us

would that give you more of a feeling of like maybe there is an afterlife maybe he was on to something

me personally yeah

i yeah no that no no

i mean it looks sweet but sure

my beliefs yeah are are you know they're kind of set

with or without you know your your what-if scenario but but it wouldn't give you a little bit more like wow like he sort of predicted his own death.

Like, within moments.

I think a lot of people died in concentration camps and they didn't have a great last day before they were.

They don't know it, though.

They know.

They fucking know.

They're trim.

They're looking good as far as they're concerned.

No.

No.

Trying to be edgy.

I don't got this.

I don't know.

Am I funny, Joe?

I still want to hear what the marriage is.

Oh, wait, what were we talking about?

You said I was talking about.

We brought him here to talk about television for an hour.

Is that what we're doing?

No, no, I just want to hear what you were going to say.

I said, Ron Polito.

Have you watched Little House of the Prairie lately?

Oh.

I said, wait,

wait, wait.

Wait, wait.

You were saying that.

I said, Ron Polito potentially seemed resentful that he was typecast as Horshack because he was a King Lear guy.

And you said same to American.

Oh, yeah, Mary With Children.

Steve Rhodes, the guy who...

Yes.

He was.

I didn't know this until I looked it up recently.

He was like a theatrical actor, and that's why he left Mary With Children.

He came back.

He's like, basically, this is beneath me.

He came back a couple times.

but it was mostly ted mcginley after that you know what's wild he came back a few times and then after the whole thing he did a spin-off of married with children no there was a spin-off there was a spin-off it didn't it they the pilot and that was it never went there was a spin-off about a college radio station it was the college that that Bud Bundy apparently was attending, but it centered on Bud Bundy's friends being DJs at a college radio station and Steve Rhodes, the character, ran the radio station, or he was like the dean of the college or something.

And I'm like, after all this shit, you left the big hit show to go do theater and everything, and now you're doing a spin-off of the hit.

You're back where, you know what I mean?

So I think maybe he miscalculated on that.

They're bringing that back.

Is he coming back?

Do you think?

You think he'll come back and do a voice?

He might.

I think he might.

You think they're still going to do it with Christina Applegate being

chill?

I feel so bad.

I think that she could probably sit there and i would hope so right yeah i would hope so yeah fun about mundane i'm like no we can yeah yeah no problem i'll do her voice yeah whatever hey guys it's me dude at one point they had it they had a reboot series in development that was going to be or centered on him and his family okay that's not a bad idea for it's not a bad idea i feel bad for him though because i feel like this guy has gotten

blue balled by this married with children reboot like three times now.

You know what I mean?

And like he's the one I feel like, I'm not trying to shit on him, but like it seems like he probably needs it more than

the other, the other, the other,

the other three keep skating from fucking TV show to TV show.

You know what I mean?

Successful TV shows, big TV shows.

Yeah,

dude, yeah.

Ed O'Neal had like a couple intern stints on shows that last like three seasons and then Land's Modern Family.

Yeah.

He, you know, Ed O'Neal was, I just read David Milch's book.

He was his first choice for Swearingen for

Dead World.

Oh, I think think you told me that.

He wrote it for Ed O'Neill, and they shot some screen tests, and he was like, that's him.

And HBO was like, no.

That's Al Bundy.

Yeah, it's like, we're not putting Al Bundy

in the lead in this show.

You hate, it's one of those things he's capable, and I've seen him in so much stuff where he's not Al Bundy, and he's always great.

But he's a guy, you hate seeing him not as Al Bundy.

You just want him as Al Bundle.

I don't know.

I never really watched a ton of Modern Family, but anytime I did, I was like, he's really good on it.

Earlier seasons are good.

As they get older, it's

he's great.

And he does a lot of the David Mammet movies.

He's awesome.

He'll come in

like an FBI guy, like fast talk.

And he's awesome.

And I'm always happy to see him.

But you're always like thinking

about it.

It's like Harrison.

I do that with Harrison Ford.

No matter how good he is in anything, I'm like, that's Indiana Jones pretending to be a lawyer right now.

You know what I mean?

Or whatever it is.

Like, I want him to be Indiana Jones.

Even in Regarding Henry?

I love Regarding Henry.

Come on,

he did not remind me of Indiana Indiana Jones.

No, he doesn't remind me.

I'm just saying in my head, it's like you're Indiana Jones, and anything you do is Indiana Jones pretending to be another.

Somebody put a whip in his hand.

Yeah.

Or Han Solo, too.

I'll get it.

Yeah.

But, you know, similar characters, obviously.

But I love Regarding Henry.

Yeah, she fell in love with Henry, right?

Oh, yeah.

Who did that?

I know.

Are we going to do a separate podcast for these two?

I mean, I got to be honest, I feel like I'm hosting over.

I feel like I'm hosting your podcast, man.

I do.

I'm sitting here and I'm like, I can't believe this shit.

I was excited.

They had questions.

Did we do a proper introduction?

Sometimes we forget to, we did, right?

No,

I think I introduced him.

It was a Joe DeRosa, New York-based comedian.

He's toured with some pretty big names.

He's open for some pretty big names.

He's done his own.

You're doing your own show right now, right?

Your own tour.

Yes.

Yeah.

I never promised you a Rose Garden.

It's the name of my new girl.

And I was going to go see it in New York because I saw it was coming up soon.

And then I was like, wait a second.

Avanel?

That's in Jersey.

That's the club I'm going to.

Oh, this September.

We have Avanel.

Yeah, September.

You're going to see it in September.

I'm looking forward to that.

Very close, Walt.

It's like right by Old Bridge.

Yes.

Don't even have to go all the way up to the city.

I'm not going to be with Avanel.

Yeah.

I imagine you are, yeah, right?

That's right.

I forgot Old Bridge.

I forgot those are your stopping grounds.

I'm not familiar with it at all.

And I have family from Jersey.

My parents live in Jersey, but I don't know Avanel.

He has a real problem with Jersey today.

I got a phone call from him on the way down.

He was picking me up at the John Jersey Obi station.

Bitching's not the word.

You ever hear someone like snap and like just start screaming in a guttural language?

I mean, if I listen back to any of my audio or dash cameras,

I got that today.

You were having some issues navigating the state of New Jersey.

The roads.

It's so easy.

Parkway to highway.

And you're here.

No, the roads, the roads.

I'm so sick.

This is my impression of New Jersey.

Ready?

You missed the turn?

That's going to be a big problem.

It's like, Jesus fucking Christ.

Can I make a fucking U-turn?

We got the jug handles.

We got the jug handles.

My wife.

The jug handles are the stupid

fucking thing on.

You stay in Jersey a little while.

My wife said the same thing when she first moved here.

Now she's like, I thank God every day for jug handles.

I hear.

By the way, I hear your wife's been saying a lot of interesting things.

She has been.

I can't.

Oh,

in the spot to it.

Is it any small wonder that she's here right now?

She never comes to watch us record

the game today.

There's a pretty short short she's wearing.

She's got some short shorts on.

Oh, wow.

I don't mind saying she's not wearing a brassiere.

See how much he lights up when Joe DeRosa's coming.

You just got to go home and fuck the bolt of a buddy.

Yeah.

I'm not above it.

I'm not below it.

I got to tell you,

let me just say how flattered I am.

First of all, let me start at the beginning of my flattery.

So when I made friends, okay,

there's a lot of love in this room right now.

When I made friends with Sal first, okay, and that's obviously been a big part of my life.

And Sal and I are very, very close.

And outside of doing the show together, he just means a lot to me.

Sal then introduced me to Q.

Yeah.

Q, it was like love at first sight for me.

I will like, I start talking to this guy.

I'm like, I want to be best friends with this guy so bad.

And I

and I don't know how to tell him that because it's a weird thing to say.

And then I remember this.

This is a true story.

I went to the Joker's premiere of the movie.

And I was walking through the,

we were walking through the party and I saw Q, and I got like excited.

And then Q,

as he was walking past me, he goes, dude, dude, dude, don't leave.

Don't leave.

Dude, I've been thinking about you.

I want to hang out with you.

And I was like, it's totally true.

Did he turn you off?

No,

for the first time, I wanted someone who wanted me back.

He was on

one of the Joker's cruise, and I don't think I ever interacted with you at all.

No, in fact, I thought you hated me on that cruise.

No, no.

I thought he was hated me.

I thought I wasn't for you.

Let's put it that way.

We barely hung out.

But then I did this podcast on that cruise.

Yes, right.

And I was like,

yeah.

Yeah.

And then we hung out at Sal's place and we just started talking.

Star Wars was the Star Wars.

That was before the premiere.

The Star Wars talk with me, you, and Steve Byrne was when I was like, I want to be friends with this guy.

Yeah, I walked away being like, I think I like him.

Jay was making fun of me.

Jay was making me doing those copper things in their head.

It's like, me and Joe are going to have three kids, two cars, and a mansion.

Okerson, Big Jay Okerson was making fun of me because the night of the

premiere, we ended up going down to the bar after and having drinks together.

And at the bar, you're like, bud, we're going to hang out.

And you go, you're a comedian.

You like, you like, I'm friends with some comedians.

You like Mike Finoya?

And I didn't say yes fast enough.

And I love Mike Finoya.

I didn't say yes fast enough.

And you went like this.

You went, oh shit, you don't like Mike?

It's okay.

It's alright for the.

And I go, no, no, no, I love Mike.

And you're like, well, great.

Me, you and Mike should hang out.

And I go, great.

And I was telling Jay that story.

And I go,

something got weird.

He thought I didn't like Mike.

And Jay was in making fun of me.

He's going, should I like Mike?

Should I not like Mike?

I don't have to like Mike.

Whatever you want.

Do you like Mike?

I don't know.

Do you like Mike?

Anyway,

so anyway, so then me and Q became really, really great fast friends.

I love the guy.

And then I met you years and years ago when I was opening for Burr in Red Bank at that

Count basey is it right yeah count basie i wore uh an extension cord as a belt to that show because my pants were falling down i didn't have a belt so i used an extension cord

i took it from the set

yeah dude you came up to us after the show

and i was talking to you and i was like

fuck do i know this guy from and then you're like uh we have a tv and i was like wait wait i was like wait and you're like comic book i'm like you fucking comic book man so i got all excited about that you invited us to the store the next day.

Yeah.

We went to the store.

We bought a bunch of, I bought a bunch of comics.

You gave me a copy of the comic that you wrote.

Right.

And I was so over the moon because

growing up, I was 18 when clerks came out.

And every kid in Pennsylvania, in the Philadelphia area or in South Jersey, felt like, well, we should be friends with all of them.

You know what I mean?

It's like how I feel about Angry Video Game Nerd.

I've never met James.

I met James Rolfe once at a fan convention or something, very passively.

But you watch Cinemassacre and you watch that whole crew and

hack the movies and all those guys.

I'm like, why should you?

I should just be friends with them.

Like, that's what I'm from.

I'm from there.

I thought I was special.

It sounds like he's making friends with them.

I don't know.

I'm in the alternate media landscape.

Nobody listen.

You're close to edging Sal out at this point.

So I'm just, yeah.

I can't believe I haven't overcome Sally.

It seems more like a business relationship between you two at this point.

There's very little love with me and Sal anymore.

Very little passion.

It's all money.

It's all transactional.

No.

But anyway,

but we all felt that way about clerks.

We were all in the, so when I met you,

I was like, the fucking, oh, that's awesome.

And then we were in the secret stash and all that.

It was just.

Is that why your first words to me were like, this is destiny?

And I was like, yes.

All right.

Yeah.

And I leaned in to kiss you.

Anyway, cut to

but we never really talked after that.

And once in a while, I'd see you and whatever.

And then, this is what I'm getting to.

I was always in my head, like, I really like Brian Johnson.

I want us to be closer.

He's preventing it.

And then one day, Q was like, you know, Johnson fucking loves you.

And I was like, really?

So you're two guys

that I had man crushes on.

And I was so excited when I heard that you both felt the same way about me.

Is this toxic masculinity, Walt, where like we all love each other, but we can't bring ourselves to say it?

Uh, I don't think it's hard for me to identify with this because, like, I don't actively pursue any new friends, like, it's not something that I'm worried about.

I don't stress about if someone likes me or doesn't like me.

So, it's kind of like this is, I think this is a younger, a younger generation's thing.

Like, probably when you get my age, you'll probably feel the same.

I'm 55.

Oh, wow.

I'm the exact same age as him.

I'm still doing this shit.

So, I don't think it's an age.

55?

Yeah, I'm 55.

Yeah.

I thought you guys were both like, you know, we're 45.

46 has turned 47.

I'm straight edge, too.

Are you really?

I'm the straightest of edge.

Have you always been?

Since I was 18.

That's the, yeah, that's the age to do it, right?

Yeah.

But out of high school, there's no need to.

I ain't getting no pussy.

Oh, great.

Straight edge.

Is that all we count?

Well, edge, anyway.

No, no.

No, wait, yeah.

Straight edge was abstinence from sex, too, was it not?

Okay, yeah, that was, yeah, that was, and I couldn't be total 100% straight edge.

It's weird.

The rules of strategy have become murky because even in watching interviews with Ian Mackay, who I always thought was the, was the

guy from Minor Threat and Fugazi.

Okay.

I thought he was the in Discord Records.

And he was, he's the curator.

I felt like he was the curator of Straight Edge.

And like, I've watched interviews with him where he seems not at all like hung up on it or or hardcore about the rules or anything.

So I'm like, maybe we all just got the wrong impression of what Straight Edge was, you know?

Like, I don't know.

I thought it was any substances, no foreign foreign substances yeah i didn't real i did not realize i always thought straight edge show them the x on your hand walt did you have the x no

no ink either my friend i had a friend i had friends that they were in a band called arbor day they were a punk band hardcore band and uh they had a song called choose the x that was shitting on straight edge kids

You don't like that, right?

No, you don't.

Yeah, they were like, so what if I want to get

in blah, blah, blah, blah.

That's funny because I find straight edge people to be the most judgmental pricks of all.

Oh, they are.

That's for sure.

Yeah, like they're just, they can't, it's like they can't, within five minutes, they're telling you this straight edge.

They're talking about why.

No, that's what I'm saying.

It's like second to vegans.

Why are you eating that fucking gelatin?

Yeah, there's like that joke.

I have that seven-inch at home.

I'll see if I can digitize.

I'll send you the job.

Whoa, wait, wait, wait, what are you talking about?

Again, we have to start our own podcast.

Anyway.

So I love both of you very much.

Walt, I'm getting to know you, and I like what I know so far.

What if Joe starts pursuing you as earnestly as he pursued us?

I mean, I imagine wooing them or you wooing him is a quick process.

It clicks almost instantly, right?

Not so much because you don't see Friends, but now.

Here's the thing that me and Q, the thing that the reason I clicked with Q, we disagreed very much on some of the Star Wars sequel stuff when we first talked about it, but we agreed totally on the prequels.

And I have never, I seldomly ever meet a guy that agrees with me on the prequels.

Everybody I meet about the prequels says they suck.

And Q was the guy that was like, no, no, they don't suck.

And like, that's a huge bonding thing for me.

Like, that's, it's, it's, and it sounds small, but it's, I mean, I was the guy that when Phantom Menace came out would scream at people at parties that it was good.

Like, literally, I'm not exaggerating.

Like, where people would be like, why don't you

take it easy?

What'd you base that on, though?

Say good?

What do you base that on, that it was good?

Because I have a feeling you and Walter about to not be friends.

I honestly don't even remember what my argument was from the time, but it was very much,

I got really into it all makes sense because it's setting up what's to come.

And just because you didn't get the payoff in this one doesn't mean it's not cut.

It was a lot of that kind of stuff.

And I also thought the action was great and it had the Lucas touch and blah, blah, blah, blah, blah.

I would not argue as, I still like it, but I would not argue as hard now as I did then.

Yeah, that's where we met on the internet because I was, you know, at this point when we started talking, the sequel was a 20-year-old at that point.

So you have time to be like,

you know, they got the good in them.

Like, I can watch them now without being like,

why isn't this exactly what I wanted to be?

And I can just have fun with them.

I used to have a joke about Coke, about cocaine.

Yeah.

Where I said,

I said, nobody ever dies from uppers.

People only die from downers.

The story is always the guy passed out and he never woke up again.

Nobody Nobody goes, he stayed up all night in the kitchen talking about how the Phantom Menace wasn't that bad, and then he dropped dead.

Because that's coke, but that was based on a real situation where he did a bunch of Coke in a kitchen of a trailer in Alabama.

This girl took me back to her trailer and I talked for hours about Phantom Menace.

It was actually a good movie.

It's a cut of straight edge type.

It's definitely not straight edge.

I'm a little judge.

He doesn't like the Coke.

He doesn't like the trailer.

He doesn't like Alabama.

Yeah, doesn't like Phantom Menace.

Walt Flanagan's Ban for Life guest list.

Joe Dorosa, number one.

Don't ban me.

Did you ever want to do anything else aside from be a comedian and actor type thing?

What did you want to do like way back when you were 18?

You're watching clerks.

I thought I was going to make, I wanted to make movies.

I wanted to do that.

That's honestly what I wanted to do.

I started to write screenplays when I was, and I wanted to be a musician.

So I played music all through high school in bands.

I played in hardcore bands and stuff, and I rapped from a very young age.

When I was in college, I had a rap group, and we took it really seriously.

When I got out of college, I maxed out all my credit cards and bought equipment, which at the time was very hard to get and expensive, to create beats and produce beats so I could pursue hip-hop

very sincerely.

But I used to jump into ciphers and freestyle, and I was serious about it.

And I thought that that's what I was going to do.

And I was still drumming in hardcore bands and sometimes singing in them and doing hip-hop.

And it was at the, you know, and at that time, you know, the Beastie Boys, Ill Communication had just come out.

And it was all of that mainstream stuff was starting to blend.

Rap, rock was becoming a thing, which I hated, but it was just bridging the gap between rap and

the other types of music I liked.

So that's what I wanted to do.

And then the other thing I wanted to do, which I went to school sort of for, was make movies.

And I wrote scripts and

plays and all these things.

I used to work at a kiosk in the King of Pressure Plaza and I would sit there writing.

I would pick jobs at kiosks that weren't very busy.

I worked at a, I'm not kidding, I worked at a kiosk that sold babushkas.

You know, you get like two customers a day.

So I could sit there and write all day.

And I thought I was going to do both of those things.

I ended up,

I still do music and

have some music stuff on the horizon.

And I've written things and been paid to write things for television mainly.

And I've sold a couple of screenplay ideas.

And I directed a short film that did really well in the circuit, the festival circuit.

But I never made movies.

That was the thing I really, really thought I was going.

to do.

I moved to Austin, Texas to do it in the wake of the Richard Linkletter, Robert Rodriguez thing.

And

I don't necessarily regret not doing it.

I just, I've directed a lot of stuff.

I just never, I don't know, it never happened.

I just never, it's a lot, it's a lot of fucking work.

And then honestly, I'd hear the stories from guys like Kevin Smith where they would talk about what they had to do to get a movie made.

And as somebody who's got a comedian's mind, first and foremost, it wasn't an instant enough payoff.

Like

comedians really want, it's instant gratification.

You see results immediately with the product and

you can adjust those results in real time.

And you can't do that with film, which I learned in making even a short film.

However, it's a much different reward and a much different payoff, but you got to be willing to do it.

I was at Tribeca Film Festival.

I think this is the thing that put me off of it.

I met the guy that wrote The Station Agent.

And The Station Station Agent was Peter Dinklich's breakthrough role.

And it was, that movie was, was the hottest fucking thing on the indie circuit that year.

And it was at Tribeca, and everybody was talking about it.

And I was, and his next movie that he made was the one with Richard What's his face, where he plays the bongos, and he, and he, it got like nominated for Oscars and shit, I think.

I believe that was the next film.

Anyway, I was at the party

for the festival opening talking to him.

And I was like, so that's fucking.

So, what's next, man?

Station is how exciting is this?

He goes,

I don't know, man.

I got to just.

He said it was such a like, and I was like, I don't think I want to do this.

Like, this does not, this looks like, and then I saw, I remember seeing an interview at that time with Scorsese, where he's like,

you get the idea and you go on to the investor, you try to raise the money, and then you got to do it all over again.

And I was like, God damn it.

That's Scorsese.

Yeah.

So I think that's what kind of put me off of it, you know.

This makes sense then, Q.

I don't know if you remember this, but we were really laughing.

I don't know if anyone noticed in this entire room except for me and you, but we had occasion to be in Vegas a few years back.

Joe DeRosa was there, and a bunch of the comedians were on stage doing music.

Yes.

So you were up on stage and you were singing and shit.

A thing.

Oh, okay.

I'm right on camera.

We're like, yeah, yeah.

All right.

Yes.

Yes.

We were in Vegas.

Well, you can just cut to this angle.

Yeah.

And have me like, oh, oh, yeah, okay, yes.

I remember.

So a bunch of the comedians that were in the middle of the day.

That's where somebody gave me a 50-milligram gummy that I was told it was like five.

And then the next thing I know, there were rockets going up in front of my eyes.

I don't remember.

It was like, it was like,

I was in the middle of a fucking,

we were in the middle of a fucking Elton John concert.

And suddenly I'm like, what the fuck is going on right now?

Was it bad or could you handle it?

Oh, I can handle it, but I just wasn't prepared for it.

It was like...

You got roofied?

No,

it might have been him.

It was me.

Somebody had these capsules with powdered THC in them, and they were like really strong.

I was under the impression it was five milligrams.

It was actually very nice.

He took 10 times.

It's the active ingredient in cannabis.

Oh, okay.

I thought it was an oak.

It's just pot.

Yeah.

Yeah.

In fill form.

Believe me, we were all judging him.

He's all knocked out now.

I was five.

I was all ready to go to rehab.

Draw an excess.

I'm like, it'll never happen again.

Yeah, pot will make if you eat it makes you it can make you like trip and shit oh I was in a fucking another universe I was listening to fucking uh the Rocket Man and I was on my own trip is Jay Miller in a dress

he is in a dress Jay Miller might have been in a dress yeah

um but anyway so you're up on stage it's your turn and you're singing and

yeah kickstart my heart by Miles Cruhe and at first like the first 30 seconds I'm like I don't think DeRosa is going to win this crowd over.

It was like 30 seconds of like them not being excited.

And then you jumped off the stage.

Do you remember?

And you like approached like, it was like a barrier with like sandbags and shit.

And you were like singing to the audience and everybody got really excited.

Everybody went crazy.

And then you went back to the stage.

And I guess the guitarist or something, like you reached up to have him pull you back up on the stage.

And he's like, that is not happening, bro.

And you look up like this look of like, help me.

And he's just like,

we can get back up.

I'm going to get back on the stage.

Yeah.

Me and QR dot.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Trying to keep that energy up with the crowd.

I remember

pouring my heart and soul into my singing of Kickstart Your Heart because I bombed so bad with the stand-up.

That crowd hated my stand-up so much, and I was like, you motherfuckers.

And then I was like, I gotta, I gotta.

How apt at the song is called Kickstart Your Heart.

Oh, yeah.

Yeah.

You want them over.

Yeah, you definitely want them over for sure.

Yeah, but then fucking pig DeStefano comes out.

The fucking pig of pigs comes out and go and sings Whitney Houston.

I want to dance with somebody.

He can't sing it.

He doesn't know the words.

And he just starts going like this.

Oh, be.

And all the girls are like,

tidal waves coming out of their coaches.

I'm like, you motherfucker, dude.

Oh, my God.

It made me so mad.

I couldn't talk for like a day after the change.

Still probably Crusar.

Tried cooches everywhere.

That guy gets up.

That was a pretty fun time.

Do you have a, is there any serious beef with any other comedians?

I know comedians love to beef.

They love to talk shit about each other.

Keith's tattoo.

Well, I know he's the Keith Robinson tattoo.

Keith Robinson stinks.

Keith does stink.

I love him, but he stinks.

No, I mean,

I got my.

you can't admit to it i've had my internal issues with people that are not worth pursuing it won't get me anywhere but i don't have any overt beefs with anybody i have certain opinions on people that don't even know i have opinions on them because they don't even know who the fuck they are you know what i mean but that's my biggest gripe with with any

there's a personality type amongst comedians and it's probably amongst famous people really but

you don't get get to, you get to a certain place because you're willing to sacrifice certain things.

And, and, and, uh, and, and one of those things is, is, is some of your humanity, uh, or can be, which is why it's such a beautiful anomaly when you see a guy like Adam Sandler or Ray Romano, and you're like, this fucking guy like goes home to his wife and kids.

He's like, I've met Ray Romano.

I don't know him, but I've met him.

I'm like, this, he's, he's Ray Romano.

Like, he's, he's that guy.

Like, he, you, he's got like

light coming off of him.

Like, he's a good soul, you know?

And there are guys that get to the top and remain intact or whatever.

But, you know, it's like politics.

It's, it's a corrupting system.

And there's a certain personality type that thinks I deserve this.

So therefore,

I know a certain percentage of,

let's call them successful comedians that,

you know, have slighted me or others in certain ways.

And you're like, all right, dude, I see who you are now as a person.

And that's you and that's on you.

And they never quite understand.

Are you talking about Sal?

No.

I don't know.

That's who we're getting at here.

As a matter of fact, you and Sal,

because I know.

Yeah.

And aren't that talented?

Yeah.

No, no, no.

You and Sal are two guys that I use as examples because I know Joe.

I'm friendly with Joe, but I don't know him the way I know you guys.

And I don't know Murr at all.

But like you and Sal, I say all the time, I go, those two fucking guys are two of the only guys I've ever met that have international fame

and wealth, let's be honest, you know, that are normal dudes.

I go, I go, dude, you don't, I go, you don't meet guys like that anymore.

You don't meet, you don't meet guys that go, oh shit, I feel bad.

Is that like, like guys go into this

where it's like, you can never apologize.

You can never say no.

You can never, because that is not how you get ahead.

You know what i mean you can never be wrong you can it's

he immediately coddled you when you were like i hate mike finoya and right away

that's who i have a beef with is mike finoya

yeah the nicest man in comedy

but no i mean

you know there are guys that

you know so you not talk shit about them because inevitably they will talk shitbag about you is it just easier not to start none no start none there won't be none no

I don't care about that.

I think it's

just a sort of,

it's just never a good look.

You know, it's like, it's, I've done it.

I've taken shots at people.

I'm not above it, but like, it's, it's just not a good look.

It's, it's, there's a difference between, you know, I'm a, I'm a, I'm a huge rap fan.

And there's always, it's a fine line, but there's a fine line between a rapper that takes a shot at another rapper and it's justified and a rapper that's doing something to get attention.

You know what I mean?

You know, Eminem had a whole fucking record about it where he's like, he's like, every time I mention your fucking name, millions of views.

Win-win for you, lose, lose for me.

You know what I mean?

It's like, it's like, I think he was talking about Machine Gun Kelly.

But like, but yeah, it's like, that's the thing.

It's like, and I'm not saying I'm Eminem or it's a lose-lose for me.

I'm just saying, like, there's a difference between I have a legit grievance and I'm taking a shot and it, and there's a reason to take that shot in public.

And no, there's no reason, you're just doing this to get some fucking attention now.

I, you know, so

you know, and I've done it in the past, and I've almost 100% of the time regretted it because it was like, it just wasn't the way to handle it, you know.

That's my, you know, well, should we start some podcast beef with somebody?

Because we used to have it with high-sell comics, but now they're gone.

What if we attack taste buds?

I'll go after taste buds.

That's the that'd be great if this is like where I announce that we're beefing internally, me and Sal.

Like, you know, we just rip into him.

Uh, no, I want to, I really, I, the thing I've been looking forward,

I just want to make sure we get to it is I want him to play

dyslexia?

Dyslexia.

Yeah, we got, we got a little bit of time.

What have we got here?

We got 24 minutes.

Let me read my, let me read what I got to read real fast

and then we'll get into that.

More than 24 minutes.

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It is ant-run and operated like I mentioned.

So let's if you're going to buy something electronically,

electronic-wise, why don't you do it there?

Nice.

Why don't you do it there?

Nice.

Can we, can we, can we?

Yeah, can we?

I've been waiting.

But this is really something you want to do.

I just want, I need somebody with an outside perspective to comment on dyslexia.

Right.

It's like, it's like me and you.

Like, we're in a bad marriage and you can't really see the outside.

You're like, you only know what

your life has been.

Yeah.

And then when you get to like show other people, these guys here.

And I'll see how.

So how do you play?

What's the?

Oh, I'm glad you asked.

Well, actually, I mean, I only have a few dyslexia examples for Joe, but like I said, I came up with a, me and Tom came up with a brand new, I think, fucking phenomenal.

Okay, you want to dive into that?

Can we warm him up?

Okay.

Well, how are we?

Look, you're the master, so you go ahead and.

I just want him to understand what's total.

There's a game that I came up with years ago that the listeners adore, but

I don't know.

We hate it.

They don't like it.

They hate it.

Fuck you.

It does involve.

Yeah, it was just sensitive.

You know how hard it is to get me

going

sometimes?

Yeah, no, yeah.

Dyslexia gets me going.

Yeah.

To the point where people get it.

100% of the time.

Yeah.

Get you going like where you're mad, you mean?

I'm just like, you're frustrated.

You're going to go frustrated.

There's no Zen.

I've never seen you frustrated.

I don't know if I've ever seen you angry in my life.

Yeah.

Well,

like a pleasure.

Except during beer pong, you'll get...

Yeah, well, you get me that.

You get me that.

You get me that.

Can I tell a

beer pong story?

Go ahead.

Go with it.

Wait, is that okay?

No, I'm sorry.

Do you guys know me and Q's history with beer pong?

Yes.

Okay.

Yeah.

Well, yeah.

Once the comedy seller had a...

Oh, sorry.

Go ahead.

No, no, tell.

You go, go.

Q and I all play beer pong against each other.

It's what really was the foundation of our friendship after Star Wars.

And I talk so much shit that it's like

a lot of people.

And I'm a lot of you.

I win and I talk a lot of shit.

He wins and he runs you down while he's beating you.

There's no fun after a while because you're just getting abuse heaped on you while you're getting drunk.

It's like playing ping pong with him.

He does the same thing.

He's outrageous.

And he does this annoying fucking thing where like, once we see, because you know the ball goes in the cup, you got to drink it.

Yeah.

The second his ball goes in your cup, he goes, now drink it and you have to drink it so it feels like

it's just like it's like fuck this fucking guy like and then you got to drink it and he's got that laugh and he's just laughing at you sometimes in your own fucking pool like it just

it just gets me like like round up we we had a barbecue and my fucking new neighbor just moved in next door and like this was our introduction i was like why don't you come over and it's like cut to them standing next to the beer pong table while him and i are fucking property values are plummeting all over the neighborhood because we're screaming at each other.

Yeah, so that's yeah.

I go to the I go to the comedy seller holiday.

They did a like a way late holiday party a few nights ago.

And I go to this thing

and they bought all this Joey Roses, right?

They bought like 20 platters of Joey Roses.

So it's sitting there.

Incidentally, Joey Roses is a sandwich shop that you own.

Yes, I'm sorry.

That you own in New York City.

Yes.

Yeah.

Come on down.

174 Remington Street, joeyrosesnyc.com.

So I'm there.

So I I get there at like

before the party starts because I wanted to make sure, because it was a cellar, I wanted to make sure everything was okay.

So I'm drinking from like 9 p.m.,

like on, cut to, I'm not exaggerating, 2 a.m.

They've got a beer punk table.

I finally make my way over.

This girl's been on this table all night, right?

And she's talking shit.

I walk up.

I find out she's playing with water

and just sipping a beer as she plays.

And dude, I don't know any of these people playing.

I go, you're playing with fucking water?

Get the fuck out of here.

This is bullshit, right?

She's like, fuck you.

You don't know what the fuck you're talking about.

I go, that's not how you play this fucking game, right?

I distract her so much, she loses and gets booted off the table.

Then the guy that wins goes, all right, tough guy, you're talking all this shit.

Let's go.

I go, if you're going to play fucking right, I'll play.

Let's go.

So, the guy's like, we're going to play right.

So, me and O'Connor, my buddy O'Connor is a really funny comic.

We step up to the table.

They do the big rack, like the 18th cup.

Oh, yeah.

Right.

And we dump two or three beers in.

Dude, me and O'Connor come out of the gate hot, dude.

We're sinking cup after cup.

Dude, on my first shot, I sink one, right?

And I go, that's how the motherfucking game is played.

Drink that shit, dude.

I'm being so

fucking obnoxious, right?

And these guys are like, Jesus Christ, dude.

Like, what is your problem?

I don't know who these people are, right?

I'm being so obnoxious.

We're sinking cup after cup.

The other team makes this comeback, dude.

They start sinking our cups now.

It comes down to one-on-one cups.

We're down to single cups each, dude.

And we're both trying to sink the other guy's last cup for like 12 minutes, dude.

It's tense because nobody can hit the last cup.

And we're barreled, you know?

And

at one point, the guy throws first shot, he misses, and the ball goes under the table.

And I go down to get the ball and I bump the table and my cup spills.

And the guy goes, That's it.

That's game.

Oh, come on.

And I go, that's not fucking game.

And he goes, he goes, that's game.

He goes, you knock your cup over.

That's game.

I go, if I knock it over and play, I didn't not, we're not in play.

He goes, you know, know, that's the fucking rule, Mr.

Rule.

And I'm like,

that's how it is now, right?

Now he's going to give it back to me.

And I'm like, yeah, yeah, all right, all right.

That's game.

That's game.

Yeah.

And the guys are like, yeah, that's game.

And they come over to shake their hands, my hand.

I go, fuck you.

And I walk away.

I walk away.

The next day,

I text O'Connor.

I go, I was such an asshole.

I go, who are those people?

He goes, it was staff.

I'm like, oh, no, dude, they weren't at the cellar.

I'm going to see them.

I thought it was staff at your sub shop.

No, no, no.

It was at the comedy cellar.

No, no, no, no.

At the cellar.

But the cellar has like five rooms.

So the staff is so big that

I've never met these people.

But it was, I was like,

I got what I deserved.

Yeah.

We could implement dyslexia beer pond.

Like, get it done.

You got to take a sip of beer.

Fuck, I'm down.

Let's do it.

I'm not driving.

Get him.

Where's that beer I know you keep on your desk?

So, how does the game work?

So, I give you.

I can't wait for this to work.

I've been waiting for this for months.

And I'm going to give to you two words.

Okay.

These two words are the exact opposites of the word I want you to guess.

Got it.

So let's say it was

like stop light could be go dark.

Right?

Yeah.

That's a simple one.

Some modelles.

I'm good.

I gotta try.

Oh, Johnson, you drink.

Well, here, I'm in.

I'm gonna drink later.

I just gotta get my car.

So wait, so, but, but, like,

so I understand the concept.

The word you're trying to guess, is it a legitimate thing or phrase, though?

Like, stoplight is a thing that exists.

Is the thing I'm trying to guess that's opposite also a thing that exists?

Or am I just trying to guess the random words that reflect?

Well, the allure of the game is that you have to

use your,

not imagination.

Say it.

Say lateral thinking.

Say it.

If you know what that is, good for you.

Unilateral part of your mind where

this doesn't have an exact opposite, but what's as close to an opposite as you can come to?

Okay, logically, you know,

and sometimes the words are switched too, because it's opposite.

Yes.

So like a theoretical device that would be the opposite of a stoplight.

That also

is the opposite of the words themselves.

Well, I mean, if you're going to use stoplight, it would be go dark.

But that's...

Go dark.

Go is the opposite of stop.

Dark is the opposite of light.

You wouldn't get stoplight.

You would get go dark.

And you'd you'd have to come up with stoplight.

So then my question is:

the dyslexic thing or the opposite thing isn't necessarily an object.

It's not object to object.

It's not phrase to phrase.

Are you just close on his face during this?

Because I really want pushing on him.

I don't need to

understand while this is happening, please.

Yeah, but I think you're overthinking.

I'm overthinking it.

I think you're overthinking it.

So just release.

He's nervous.

All right.

You know, shake it out and just really think.

Are you sure you don't do drugs?

Dude, if you saw the way this guy draws, it's insane.

You would be like, he needs to be institutionalized.

Oh, drugs.

All right.

Just,

you know, it's, this isn't more,

it's not really like, this isn't our funny part of our podcast.

This is more like the, it's like for the, for the mentos in our crowd, in our listener base.

Okay.

Which doesn't include me in QM.

Yeah.

In the crowd and in staff.

Did you know Giddam has an IQ of 148?

No.

Yeah.

So kids out there right now thinking of things.

That's wild.

All right.

So, for,

but I'm really excited about this new game that I never

have played with these guys for.

But for to get you warmed up, here's a little dyslexia.

Looking for a two-word phrase thing, something that, you know, when you hear the two words, you're like, oh, yeah, okay, that makes sense.

But your clues are: wither, dark.

I think I know this one.

Should I say it?

Well, yeah, it'd be great for you to say it and then.

Oh, like Grow Light?

What?

Grow light?

Wither, grow?

Dark light?

Fuck you.

See, this is why he's an asshole.

You see the face?

Like, I had a perfectly acceptable answer.

Grow light.

Yeah, but you jump in.

Like, I got it.

Yeah.

Wither, wither.

Darker.

Wither dark, you said.

Was the clue?

Wither dark.

Dying light.

It's close.

How is that not it?

How is it not dying?

How is growing light?

Not it.

No, dying light.

Wither dark.

That's perfect.

Dying light.

Oh, is that a video game or something?

No, it's a phrase.

Dying light.

Isn't it?

Dying light.

How would you use it in a phrase?

Well, like, in what would be.

Isn't it in like the Star Spangled Banner or something?

Yeah, Dying Light.

I've heard it before.

Well, it is a video game as well, but it's like...

It is a video.

Maybe it's just a video game.

No, no, that's

in the next when the sun's going down.

Yeah.

Do you want to take a shot?

I already took two.

Yeah, we're going to do another one.

At this one.

At least you didn't get the face.

I got the face like withered dark.

By the way,

the man who just gleefully took a beer

on the drive-in is going, you know, it's not going to be a big all-nighter tonight for me.

I got to pay.

Yeah, okay.

All right, fine.

He's like, what's it?

1201?

All right, go ahead.

We know that one of the words was correct, though.

Life.

Yeah.

Okay.

Wither.

It's very apropos, too.

I'll also give you another clue.

Wither.

What's the opposite of wither?

Grow.

Oh, wither.

I said dying.

Dying is a synonym.

We need an opposite.

Yeah.

Shit.

Don't worry about that.

Yeah.

I got both of ones.

Not growing light.

No, no.

I mean, it's not stop light?

No.

All right.

It is bud light.

Wither, the opposite of wither.

What are you, bud?

Like a flower bud?

That's very good.

Okay.

I got you.

Okay.

Oh, you got it?

But is the answer always?

This is still my question.

Is the answer always

something that exists?

A phrase, an object.

Bud Light is a thing that exists.

It's never just two random words.

No.

That's what I'm saying.

It's

not the words.

Okay, now I got it.

That helps you, too.

Now he's going to win.

Yeah, you got it now.

All right.

Now I get the rules.

Oh, you do?

All right.

Here we go.

Sorrow, pebble.

Sorrow, pebble.

Sorrow, pebble.

The opposite of sorrow.

See, now that's easy, the opposite of sorrow, but no.

Pebble, that's where you got to use your unilateral portion of your mind.

I got to be honest.

I don't think the opposite of sorrow is easy.

Do you guys know what it is?

I could be happy.

It's not not happy.

It's close.

Is it something Boulder?

No.

Opposite of a Pebble.

Do you see what I have to do?

As if Pebble and Boulder being opposites is like.

Is this guy fucking retarded?

Like, I think that's a good answer.

I think Pebble is going to be.

Rock is going to be the opposite of Pebble.

No, it's the same thing.

He just got the face.

Oh, yeah.

Piece of the rock.

You fucking idiot.

Me and DeRussa arrived here on the same short bus.

The opposite of sorrow, I don't.

What is the opposite of sorrow?

Joy.

Oh, see, I was thinking of sorrow as like, I'm sorry.

I'm apologizing.

Sorrow?

Sorrow would be sorry for me.

I got confused.

I got confused.

Now you see why Q wanted you to play that.

You get used to it.

Because I was thinking.

It's confusing.

It's your first time playing.

But honestly, you know why I said thought sorrow like that?

Because act of sorrow was a Catholic thing growing up.

And that meant like

your remorse for sin.

I'm a Catholic.

I see that.

You know, yeah, that's why my head went down.

So it's Q, right?

What are you doing?

Do you see it?

You want to take a stamp?

So it's so the opposite of Pebble is

we know the first part is joy.

Opposite of

Pebble, joy blank.

Joy.

Well, the opposite of Pebble could be a raindrop,

water of some sort.

It's definitely not boulder.

I know that much.

I know that.

Joy.

Well, water contains life.

Does a rock contain life?

I'm sure it does.

Did you?

He's checked out.

He's fucked out of his phone.

He's like, opposite of Pebble.

I don't know what the opposite of.

No one does.

That's except for Wald.

You want to know what it was?

Yeah.

Joy stick.

No, that sucks.

That's the one you're hoping for.

Yeah, that's the thing.

But joystick is not.

Oh, joystick.

But stick is not the opposite of a pebble.

Sure, it is.

A twig would be the opposite of a stick.

No, it's the same thing.

A twig is a part of a stick.

No, no, no.

But a rock doesn't live.

A twig is part of a living thing.

No, no, no, no.

If you said, give me a twig, you'd get this.

If you said, give me a stick, it'd be this.

Shrinking pleasures.

Growing hatred.

Very close.

Very close?

Yeah.

What was it?

Shrinking what?

Shrinking pleasures.

Shrinking pleasures.

Oh, I know this one.

I got this one.

Do you?

I do.

You want?

You should say it.

It's going to be growing pains.

Yes.

Oh, there you go.

Okay.

Pleasure.

See, that was a good one.

Yeah, there was a good one.

All right.

Inhaled sisters.

Inhaled sisters?

This is a tricky one.

This is where you really got to use your unilateral mind because the opposite of inhaled.

You can tell his is dusty.

I still don't even know what you want.

But I know that that's not what it is.

Wait, what was it again?

Inhaled sisters.

Inhaled sisters.

Well,

could the opposite of inhale be blood?

No.

Could the opposite of sisters please be brothers at least?

It is brothers.

Okay.

Right.

So, opposite of inhaled, which would be technically exhaled.

And it's not exhaled, brothers.

But this is the thing there, where you got the second word.

It should make it so easy now.

Knowing it's something that's a common phrase.

It's a common phrase.

I understand.

So

just tell me.

I'm not sure if I can do it.

Did you know the opposite of a car is a horse?

That hung us up for about 20 minutes one day.

And then this fucking dope Wanda Zen takes his side, and they both talk to you like

that's great.

That's great.

Well, look, we know it's not Blood Brothers, so I'm trying to think of an

I threw in here because it's super tricky and it really shows how we are trying to make people really think outside the box.

Unilaterally,

it's

Blues Brothers, blue, like he blew.

I thought the opposite of inhales.

Because you blow.

That's too much.

You can't go.

You can't go with like, with like, what's that called?

Homonym?

When it's a word that's saved the same.

You blow it, you blow into the

thing at the copy.

But blues, but now you're into.

What is that question?

Two words of sound mystery.

How many DUIs you have to write?

It's homonyms, right?

Right?

Yeah.

If you start getting into homonyms,

you're two ticks,

that's tough, man.

That's allowing.

Yeah, but that's like, I don't want to make it easy because it's the challenge that also

the listeners who are playing along at home, they want something that's more like, it's hard with these guys because they get so frustrated.

And then usually the words are also, so it wouldn't be Blood Brothers, it would be Brothers Blood.

And you also have to remember

to guess the words and flip the words.

I didn't do that today.

That's too much to handle on your first

excursion on,

but if you made this into a game of like a card game, those would be like the red cards.

These are super hard.

We were in talks for a while.

There was a company that reached out to me to work.

They said dyslexia was a picture of the refused to change the name.

Yeah, yeah, that's what you should have called it.

Backwards is about it.

But I love to like, it just, dyslexia just

rolls off the tongue.

Backwards is a great title, and it's a play on words.

You know, but I like dyslexia better.

So you just

blew up the whole deal.

I think that's a deal breaker.

I realize, but I think that just also gets people's, like, what is that?

What kind of game would be called that?

Like, that's kind of insensitive a little bit to call it that for people who have it.

He has another game called Down Syndrome Squares.

He can't understand why nobody wants to pick it up.

Let's wait a new one, though.

Let me tell you where

your card game is going to sit on a shelf and what it's going to be sitting next to.

The impractical joker.

I don't know what you think the intellect of the people shopping at Target is.

But I see it every day.

I go into Target in my neighborhood to buy my little supplies.

It's on sale?

I see it all the time.

I just take pictures of it and send it to Sal.

And I go, this fucking drives me crazy, taunts me.

Do we got time to do

this new game?

I've got three clues.

Yeah, what time?

What's your heart out, as they say in the industry?

1.30, I guess.

What time is it now?

Yeah, I think it's 1 o'clock.

I really think if we're on the road anytime before like 1.45, we're fine.

Yeah.

You want to go by 30?

Yeah.

That's probably fine.

This won't take that long.

Just give Q an extra beer and let him take the wheel.

Yeah, I'll get to it.

Well, I'm glad you're here because you sound like

you have a good grasp of what

the concept of that game was.

And you also weighed in on the title.

I haven't come up with a firm name for this.

It's either Oxymo Rhymes

or Rhymoron.

And the concept is an oxymoron refers to a word or phrase or use of language that seems to directly contradict itself.

First, I will give you a riddle that the answer to is a two-word oxymoron.

And if you can't solve it, I'll give you a second riddle, but that riddle's answer is the rhyming word of the first word.

Like, I play Candyland with a kid.

I'm like, this is too much.

I can't deal with it.

I don't understand.

What did you just say?

Yeah.

So, first, I will give you each a riddle that the answer to is a two-word oxymoron.

And what's an oxymoron again?

It's like

dry water.

Yeah, exactly.

But these are more, these are, dry water is not a phrase you would use in everyday

jargon, right?

These clues are ones you have heard of before.

A jumbo shrimp.

There's a good one.

Yeah.

All right.

But if you can't get it off the direct word riddle, I will give you a second riddle, but that second riddle's answer is the rhyming word.

It's like the rhyming cousin of the first one.

Of the first word.

Then

the third riddle will be a rhyming word of the second word in the oxymoron.

Get it off the first word.

The first riddle is just the oxymoron.

You don't have to worry about rhyming.

But it's when we get into the second phase of the game, then we're into

rhyme more on.

All right.

I understand.

Rhymora.

Yeah.

All right, all right.

So Oxymo rhymes.

I like that one, but which one you like better?

Oxymo rhymes or either are great, but the first is better.

The second one, what was the second one?

Rhyme Oron.

I don't even understand what that means.

Rhyme, they're just adding oron.

That's what I thought it meant, but I was like,

that couldn't possibly be what it is.

But that's what it is.

No, the first one's better because

it at least implies the whole game.

Yeah.

All right, Oxymoron.

We're going to let Joe go first.

Okay.

Okay.

So

the overall two-word riddle.

The tallest dwarf in a wet circus for three points, Joe.

The tallest dwarf.

Kiddie pool.

No, incorrect.

How is he soon?

It's not an oxymoron.

I don't know.

So wait, say it one more time, Walt.

The tallest dwarf in a wet circus.

In a wet circus.

That's the riddle?

That's the riddle for the overall clue.

You don't have to worry about rhyming.

Now, here's where the fun starts.

You got to start rhyming.

Here's some of them are rhyming.

This is a rhyming word riddle.

So this is the first word in the oxymoron.

Yes.

He's not fucking with you.

I know.

Sunday night detective.

The answer to that riddle.

Sunday night detective rhymes with the first word of our oxymoron.

So it's probably, if I know Walt, it's probably Columbo.

So it would rhyme with Columbo.

Now it's our...

Word rhymes with Columbo?

Yeah.

Yeah.

That's correct, Brian.

Oh, wait.

Oh, jumbo?

And wet circus?

Well, tallest dwarf in a wet circus.

It's not jumbo shrimp, right?

Oh, it is jumbo shrimp.

There you go.

Wait, you just.

use it as an oxygen.

I could see the look he shot.

I'm like, shut the fuck up.

It's so wet.

Damn, you're like, hey, what's the wet circus?

I don't understand that part.

You ever hear of the tallest dwarf in a circus?

No.

You ever heard that phrase?

No.

I've heard the phrase.

That means you're like, you're a big shot.

You think you're, yeah, you know what?

You're still, you're the tallest dwarf in a circus, but so what?

Right, right, right.

You're still a dwarf.

But wet circus, so it's a fish.

Dwarves are like really good.

Right.

Jumbo.

I got you.

Jumbo shrimp.

Talking about me.

It's tough.

Here's what's tough: because you're adding,

you're adding concepts that don't exist also to it, which makes it even harder.

What doesn't exist?

Like a wet circus is not a thing that's ever existed.

It's not a phrase.

See what I'm saying?

So

I'm getting hung up.

I'm like, wait, what is a wet circus?

You know what I mean?

I've heard of wet markets.

Well, there's a wet circus.

You'd have to write that in the rules.

Don't get hung up on anything.

You sound like you got a grasp on this.

It's your turn.

All right, okay.

So, I'm gonna give you that.

Okay, two points.

Thank you.

Can you keep track of that, Mary Beth?

Two points for Joe?

I would have guessed Jumo Shrimp sooner, but I was like, it can't be

just said.

The second word, though, because I really like this riddle, it's likely a good year if you see one.

Blimp.

Yeah.

That is good.

All right.

Yeah, but the answer is not blimp.

It's actually your rhyming cousin of blimp.

That is good, though.

That is good.

All right, so Bri.

Okay.

Your overall two-word riddle.

Laurel has a penchant for getting into these.

Laurel?

And remember, it's an oxymoron.

Right.

You don't have to worry about rhyming at this point.

Laurel has a penchant for getting into these things.

I'm going to need the rhyme.

I need the rhyming riddle.

Your last box.

My last.

Couldn't you just give me jumbo shrimp first?

I got that one.

I knew Columbo.

My first box.

Your last.

Oh, my last box.

Your last box.

Oh, which would be a casket or a coffin.

Okay.

So it either rhymes with column.

Is that your answer to the riddle?

Yeah.

Wrong.

Okay.

Okay.

Second rhyming word riddle.

The devil likes his blue.

The devil likes his blue.

Balls?

Well, no, this is a rhyme to the second one that I didn't didn't even get, so it doesn't matter.

You want to go to what?

I do.

It's a fine mess.

A fine mess?

Can you read everything again just so I can get it?

Okay, so Laurel has a penchant for getting it.

Remember Lauren Hardy with Hardy of Bill?

Right.

It's another fine mess you've gotten us into.

Okay.

Is fine mess an Oxymoran, though?

Yeah, it's fine.

It's a mess.

All right.

If you look up Oxymoron's, because I spent days.

Oh, okay.

All right.

That's one of the top hits.

Okay.

Fair enough.

Fair enough.

Your last box is a pine box.

Pine box.

That's close.

Rhymes with fine.

Right.

Devil likes his blue.

That's a dress.

Rhymes with mess.

Oh, devil in a blue dress.

Yeah.

All right.

I could sit here until I die.

I would never have gotten it.

No, no.

It's funny, though.

Once you hear the answer, you're like, oh, it makes perfect sense.

Right.

But it's hard.

It is.

That's why it's.

It's like the end of family feud when the people are like, oh,

everybody in unison.

An obese ballerina never has to worry about these.

An obese ballerina never has to worry about these.

Audience members, I.

An obese ballerina.

Now,

my mind

goes to

Fantasia with the with the hippo ballerinas

The only example of overweight ballerinas I've ever seen.

An obese ballerina.

What's the end of it?

You want the rhyming riddle?

No, give me the main one again, please.

An obese ballerina never has to worry about these.

All right, I'm going to need to go to the rhyming phase.

It makes it so much easier.

Let me tell you that.

Gravity and age, a gravity and age-caused tit condition.

Sag?

Drooping.

Saggy?

Saggy.

Saggy.

Okay.

Rhymes with the first word in our oxymoron.

Okay, baggy.

Yes.

Oh, that's.

I got it.

Baggy tights?

Yes!

Two points.

Two points.

Baggy tights?

What's the original again?

An obese ballerina never has to worry about these.

She's never going to have to worry about saggy.

I mean, baggy tights.

It's always going to be tight.

Yeah.

Baggy tights.

Got it.

Why didn't I get walked through mine like that?

I was just scowled at and fucking moved on.

All right, Joe.

This is easy.

All right.

We need to get this one.

What was blue, gray, and red all over?

I got it.

Me too.

Wow.

My wife's corpse after she fucks Joe DeRosa.

Jesus God.

I thought you were involved.

I thought you were there.

They fucking, I had to go get them drinks.

I came back.

They were going at it.

I blew my stats.

I was thinking of dyslexia.

What was blue, gray, and red all over?

You want the rhyming riddle?

Yeah.

You're going to be mad at yourself when you hear this one.

Yeah.

Yeah.

You got it?

It's pretty cool.

I got it.

In a rough neighborhood, your neck should become one.

This rhymes with our first Oxymoron word.

I know.

You will definitely leave here, like, we might not even say it to Q, but in your mind, you'll be like, am I stupid?

On your way home, you'll be like, in your quieter moments, you'll be like, why did I get that?

Yeah, no, that's how I feel.

Yeah.

And you always feel bad about yourself after saying you got it already.

Yeah, I do not have it.

We have decades of experience with the the way his mind works.

So we got a little bit of that.

But it is kind of, you're going to, when you hear it, you're going to know it.

And wait, what was the second clue?

Sorry.

In a rough neighborhood, your neck should become one.

Rhymes with our first word.

What's blue, gray, and red

all over.

And your neck should become one in a rough neighborhood.

Two points on the line.

Okay, last clue.

Second

word rhyming riddle.

I can slide, swing, and revolve.

What am I?

Door.

Okay, rhymes with our last.

Remember the other one, the other clue you didn't get?

It rhymes with that.

So it's blank,

door.

Something that rhymes with door.

Yeah.

And it was blue.

No, wait a minute.

It was, yeah, it was blue, gray, and red all over.

Yeah.

broken like Q and Brian to tell you what it was

I guess so yeah think of a can I give him a hint?

Sure guns and roses guns and roses,

but that's not how they go the blue and the gray

I don't need no patient satisfaction custard

Civil War.

Yeah wait, what?

What was blue?

Gray and red all over.

What was the two sides, one dressed in blue uniforms, one dressed in gray uniforms?

I never would have guessed that.

Do you know what the red means?

Blood.

I didn't.

I thought that was clever.

It is if you know about the Civil War.

I didn't know what color the uniforms were.

Really?

No, no.

I never would have remembered that.

Ever.

I thought they both wore blue and gray uniforms.

I thought the uniforms were blue.

They were blue and gray mixed together.

Who the hell knows?

No points for Joe.

No points awarded, and may God have mercy on us.

You guys got that quick, man.

Yeah, Brian.

Like I said, we got some history with this guy here.

One must be really fake to achieve this.

One must be more.

Don't worry about rhyming it.

To achieve this.

Okay.

All right.

Need a rhyme?

I don't know.

Thoughts and wheels can have this done.

Rhymes with our first word.

Turn?

No.

No?

Of course not.

Second rhyming words move.

No.

We're done.

You can't keep taking guesses.

It's impossible to crash if you have one.

It's impossible to crash if you have one.

It makes the fucking third clue is not helpful because you're trying to rhyme with a clue that you already couldn't get.

If you get the riddle, though, you know it rhymes with the word.

Can you read the riddle again?

It's impossible to crash if you have one.

That was the riddle, or that was the legend?

This is a sick riddle, too.

It's fucking

the sickest riddle we got out there.

It is a sick riddle.

It's so good.

I fucking like, I was beaming when I came up with this riddle.

It's not a crash if you have one.

It's impossible to crash if you have one.

Or you don't know what it is.

I don't know.

The answer to that riddle is

an invitation.

It's impossible to crash.

Oh, you know what?

I was

like, I don't know if it's sense.

You're right.

You're right.

I was hard done.

It's very good.

I was thinking of cars.

Thoughts and wheels can have this done.

A line.

It rhymes with a line and invitation.

And it's, you must be really fake to achieve this.

It rhymes with a line.

A line.

And

imitation.

It's genuine imitation.

Genuine imitation?

That's the answer?

That's the answer.

Genuine is an oxymoron.

Is that a commonly used phrase?

Genuine imitation?

Yeah.

Except around this fucking office where you guys are fucking yucking it up.

Here's some of the other.

Here's shit.

I think it's worse than dyslexia.

I got a thing from the bar.

I'm not looking at my phone to be an asshole.

I got to make sure there's nothing on fire right now.

Oh, no.

What an asshole.

What happened?

Something's on fire?

Okay, everything's good.

No, they were saying the register wasn't turning on, but apparently it's fine now.

It's fucking great.

Jesus Christ.

Owning the business.

All right, so this is, I mean, I could die.

Here's the problem.

Here's the problem, too, is that

there's too many layers to the game because like because even the oxymorons themselves,

like genuine imitation, I've never heard that phrase.

So it's like now

you're trying to guess an answer.

Your head is going in the place of going,

you know, what's a popular phrase that would make sense as an answer to this, whatever.

If you're not thinking in that way, you would never think genuine imitation as an answer.

Well, what's your excuse for civil war, though?

Well, no,

that's a good one.

That's a good one.

That's a good one.

But Jumbo Shrip is a good one.

What was the other one, though?

What was the other one?

Fine mess.

Fine mess.

Oh, that was a good one.

All right.

That one was tough.

That was tough.

Let me see if I can take this.

Okay.

I'm fucking holding steady at zero.

Yeah.

Well, right now we're tied, right?

Overall two-word riddle.

When leisure time turns laborous.

When leisure time

turns laborous.

When leisure time.

I don't even want to say I think I know it, because then he's going to be like, well,

then I'll be wrong.

Leisure time turns laborous.

It's a riddle.

And plus, like, the fact that it's always two words, I thought would make it even

just lead you to the answer so clearly, so directly.

It's not like dirty work, no.

Okay.

When leisure time turns dangerous, laborous, laborous.

Your first rhyming work riddle.

A booty pop-in activity.

A booty.

Twerk?

And an ING.

Twerking?

Yes.

First word rhymes with twerking.

Okay, working.

Yes.

And then, all right, what's the clue here?

So working.

When leisure time turns laborous.

Like a working lunch?

No.

Okay, here we go.

Second rhyming word riddle.

Less dollars in your wallet are a sure sign.

This could be a game show on TV.

Yeah, if you want all the contestants fucking going home losers, none of the audience enjoying it.

Yeah, Jeopardy, like a certain

contestant has to be of a certain intellect.

Yeah.

I think this is, this will, like, if we go to the big, you know, the Ivy League schools.

Right.

Just a picture with the three of us with an X over us.

Yeah.

Not too easy to do.

I think you get some of the high honors to play this.

I think you'll see a lot better.

I'm not good at riddles.

They're hard.

Yeah.

Yeah.

I can't believe it.

I think I got cues.

Yeah.

I think I do.

Yeah.

I'm shocked that he doesn't have it.

Could be the beer.

Yeah, it might be.

What's the second hand?

He sees a half beer in.

He's fucked up with the secondhand.

Less dollars in your wallet are a sure sign.

Go ahead, Brian.

Working vacation?

Boom.

That's an oxymoron.

A working vacation.

Yeah, yeah, but what was the dollar, the wallet thing?

Inflation.

Oh, geez.

All right.

It's a tie.

I got to go a tiebreaker.

All right.

I don't want to play it.

So far, I've gotten too right in the word fine.

It's a heavy game.

It's heavy.

Like I said, like I'm coming up with it with people who are working on it with me who are like super, like they're doctors and physicists who are helping me, you know,

define the game.

He's a teacher, so I guess you're kind of right.

Well, he's not helping me make this game.

Really?

Who's Tom?

Who's Tom?

Are you going to try to sell it?

Yeah.

Will you I'm not being the smart ass will you we if they say you got to change the name Will you I'm not as married to this name as I was to dyslexia.

Yeah.

Because

it already has a following.

It already has, it's been, we've been playing it for years.

So I feel to like

introduce it to the market without the name that our listeners are familiar with would be a big faux pas.

Right.

Yeah.

But this one, I mean, if they were to.

We're counting on every listener to watch.

Bring us ratings.

Throw a bucket of money at me.

We want to change the name.

This one, I would change it, though.

Okay.

Yeah.

I got you.

I like Rye Mo Ron.

no it's that it's confusing because you it combines rhyming which we have to play and moron oxymorons he doesn't have a lot of faith in your intelligence at this point because you've been

shanking this game you guys brought me a dummy

he does this

all the time how many games have you created countless yeah countless still looking for that one that like really fucking breaks though and then i don't you know we don't have to do this anymore I think you

fair enough.

Fair enough.

I think it's well designed.

I actually, it's just I'm not, I'm not like sure.

My brain does not work with this.

There's certain people who love to solve riddles.

I'm not one either.

Yeah.

But like there's a lot of people out there who love riddles.

So I thought it would cater to the riddle market

and the card game market as you.

The untapped riddle on the riddle market.

Now kids want to hear riddles all the time.

Well, this is not a game for kids because people get bonny with this, too.

Oh, yeah, yeah.

Like after-hours type shit.

Like a party game for adults.

I got you.

I got you.

Are there adult oxymorons, though?

I'm into like clean sex.

Yeah, I guess.

Boy, is sex dirty?

Dirty?

Of course it is.

Well, I mean, if you're doing it right.

Do you think, Joe, you're a professional comedian.

Do you think that

this is a good joke or an indecipherable joke?

My friend Ming, who's Chinese,

gave my wife a podcast recorder.

Okay.

Right.

And I said, what would you do if you opened it up and it was just stuffed with Chinese garbage and candy wrappers?

Okay.

That's the joke.

Now, when I was a kid in the 70s, you would cut a baseball open, and that's what was inside baseballs: was Chinese junk, garbage, candy wrappers, that kind of stuff.

It was all Asian for some reason.

So, you didn't get the joke.

I didn't get it either.

You didn't get it either because you're too young.

You're all too young, you kids.

I didn't get it.

Walt got it, though.

I didn't think it was funny.

It's not funny.

That's not my claim, but you got it.

You at least understood it.

Because I got a problem.

I sit there, man.

Like, I have an endearing trait where, like, we watch TV shows and I'll make up dialogue as, you know, instead of the lines in the show.

You're doing it.

You're riffing.

Yeah.

Riffing.

Riffing.

A little bit of

improv.

Yep.

And so

we're watching Little House on the Prairie.

I'm sorry to bring it around to this again, but we're watching Little House on the Prairie.

And Laura, are you familiar with the show?

No.

I mean, I know it.

I know of it, but it never interested me.

Anyway, there's a young girl, Laura Engel.

She's the main character, but she's like, she's in her 20s at this point.

She's an adult.

She has a kid.

She has a husband.

And there's an old lady in town with no relatives.

and she wants laura to have her house which is extremely nice it's like mansion-esque they eventually turn into a rooming house and shit

and the old lady is dying and she's like she's in bed laura's like standing over and she's telling her the old lady's telling her like i want you to have this house and the other laura's like well i'll ask manly who's her husband she comes back later on and she's like the woman's like on her deathbed and she's like what did he say

and um i said he doesn't like the house he wants to bulldoze it and turn it into a pig style Right?

It's a woman's last wish.

She wants Lord to have the house.

I think it's funny to tell a woman who's literally breathing her last breath that the house she just gave away is going to get knocked out and turned into a pig style.

To me, that's funny.

No reaction whatsoever.

None.

All she cares about is the fucking computer and fucking Neopets.

Are you familiar with Neopets?

It's some video game that she played when she was 10 and is still obsessed with it.

And she's like, ooh, look at this.

I traded for this fucking thing.

Oh, check it out, man.

I'm going to fucking, I'm going to create this kind of creature.

You've married your mother.

Oh, you fucking are so right.

You're so right.

You're sleeping with your mother.

If I had known my mother was this good at it, I would have started it a long time ago.

So, so she's.

I throw out shit right and left, and I look for approval, and she doesn't give it to me neither did your mother

Yeah, my mother was always like you're cynical you're skeptical so funny Yeah, and Edgar too.

You're ruining my show.

Yeah

Brian.

Yeah, you're ruining my neopetscape you feel this is assessment.

Yeah, it's accurate, right?

Your Pam

your Pam kind of she has

a little bit.

She's like she's older.

Like my wife is older than me.

It doesn't look like it.

But in terms of like energy

and youthfulness and that kind of thing, like she's definitely older than me.

She's setting her old lady ways.

And she does.

She shares like several things with Pam, like corny jokes and shit.

She loves puns.

Like, get away from me with puns.

Yeah, who doesn't love puns?

It's too much.

Your Practical Joker's game is filled with delightful puns.

It's on your local target.

Your target now.

Get in there.

I'm not a big fan of puns either.

Yeah, I don't care for puns.

Any interest in investing in Rye Moron?

I don't think so.

I don't think so only because I

don't.

How would you feel if you went to your Joey Rose's investors and they were like, I don't think so, Joe.

You think that it happened?

That's true.

No, I swear to God,

if I was good at it, it would be a thing I would think about.

But given the fact that I'm not good at it, makes me feel like I have no gauge of how it would do.

Can you think of a colorful box, colorful cards,

you know, we need to get, we need some startup costs.

Right.

To get a prototype made.

Right.

Yes, you do.

Oh, well, they're saying yes.

You definitely do.

You're going to need that.

But when you're not good at something, it's like saying, do you want to invest in my fish restaurant?

And you go, well, I hate seafood.

So it's like, how could you invest in something that you don't understand?

Even if it's like

potential.

I think I do, but I'm not smart enough to know how smart you have to be to play this game.

That's my biggest problem.

You know what I mean?

But I'm terrible at riddles.

I get anxiety

whenever I watch The Hobbit, when he has the Gollum thing, when him and Gollum do the riddles.

Definitely gives me anxiety.

That's how bad at riddles I am.

Yeah.

I'm like.

Are you prone to anxiety in other aspects?

Yes.

Yes, but when I

just to a terror or just hobbits.

Hobbits make me nervous at shit.

Just don't.

You read Stephen King.

You read a lot of Stephen King, right?

DC, you know, I've read.

You didn't read Dark Tower?

That's too much for me.

There's a whole riddle subplot in there.

Your anxiety is on a scale of one to 10.

What's that?

Your anxiety.

In general, or within the Hobbit?

No, well,

it's a move of the year.

In general?

It's a thing I've had to.

I mean, I don't have like panic attacks.

I have,

but it's a full-on, it's a thing I have to deal with.

You know, I have to, you know, I was telling Q on the way down here, we had a situation, I can't get into it, but we had a situation,

something related to this bar sandwich shop.

I opened, I was with my business partner last night at a concert, and something came up that we needed to address, but we weren't able to address it in that moment.

And my partner had to be like,

we're at a concert.

You can't fix this right now.

Enjoy yourself.

We'll take care of it afterwards.

And he was right.

It helped.

Yes, but I like I, that's something I have to actively tell myself.

Yeah, I'm the same way.

I was literally like, I'm leaving right now.

He's like, What are you doing?

You can't, you know.

So, so you know what it's, you're the same.

That's right.

We could work.

I mean, we could, I would take notes if you wanted to, like, buy in on this and like suggestions.

And

it's really trying to get the roast to leave here a little later in the wallet.

I know, and you had inflation riddles in there and everything.

Is this what you're going to do with the guests?

Try to get them to.

You know

who I really want to get to play?

You obviously

like to play.

You know guys with a lot more money than me.

Why don't you get Silent Jay into this?

Jay and Silent Bob in on this.

They don't have startup money.

Why don't you get fucking Randall and Dante in on this?

They got some of this.

Our cameraman is trying to procure Buzz Aldrin.

I want to get an astronaut in here to play this because I want to play.

These are your follow-ups.

Buzz Aldrin, Elon Musk.

Who is the other one?

Who was the third?

Tom Brady.

Tom Brady, and then the Devil's Rider guy.

Are you trying to get Elon Musk in here?

Yeah.

Do you think, is there a chance you're going to get Elon Musk in here?

I don't know.

I was like, wow, that's wild.

We have these conversations.

We record them.

We put them out.

Buzz Aldrin has done a lot of odds.

People shake their heads.

That's pretty much it.

Buzz Aldrin does a lot of podcasts.

Buzz does a lot of podcasts.

So I wonder if he would be willing to play Oxymoron.

All right.

And because I would look, like, because I would imagine

he's got to be sharp as a tack to be an astronaut.

Well, he's about 90 now, isn't he?

Yeah.

So I don't know.

I think that I don't know if you

keep up with him, but he married like a 70-year-old.

He's so fucking hot.

it's insane.

Why don't you get,

but you, you, there's so many colleges in Jersey.

Why don't you get some like Dean's list kids from Rutgers or something to come in and play it?

Because I don't think they'll be able to buy in, like, Buzz Aldrin might have the

investors.

I know you're saying, Yeah, plus, I could put his face on the box.

Nothing gonna light the market of fire

like the cribkeeper on a box,

holding a moon rock.

yeah.

I don't think that's a good idea.

No, no,

no, putting his Buzz Aldrin on the box

is American Hero.

Damn, because I think everybody, even though.

Do you think that's a good idea?

No.

Every old knows an astronaut is fucking dissipated.

But they're not going to know he's an astronaut.

They're going to go, who's this old band on this box?

NASA's Buzz Aldrin, one of the men who walked on the moon, presents.

Nasty.

Nasty Morales.

That's a lot of wording

you need a younger a younger more relevant intellectual all right all right that's good that's good advice that's i'm telling you like that neil tyson degrasse guy yeah yes that's who you need you need neil degrasse tyson

from what i hear he only wants to do is fucking debunk flat earthers he's not really interested in anything i don't think he wants to be challenged on camera especially not this kind of shit

ask him to be challenged on camera you're asking everyone to put his name on the gate

This is two different things.

You're zigzagging all over the place.

You got to separate these lanes.

You get Neil deGrasse Tyson on this or get Bill Nye, like somebody like that.

Okay.

That's who you, if you want to face for your game.

Write this down, Rob.

Yeah, that's, that's.

Is there anybody disgraced that we could like?

Oh, like used to be smart.

And

somebody, like a canceled scientist or something, that we can give, like, we could use, like.

They've been trying to, I mean, a disgraced scientist.

Yeah, somebody scientist.

Neil deGrasse Tyson

kind of got in trouble, but then it went away.

I already looked at the flags and we're kind of like, wait, what?

Yeah.

I'm saying his name got tossed in during Me Too, but it was all very.

He rebounded.

Yeah, it didn't seem, it didn't, you know.

But I'm trying to think of somebody that actually.

Man.

There's not many human.

You know what?

It doesn't get anything.

Oh, yes,

Charlie Rose.

Charlie Rose?

Is he still alive?

He does interviews again

on YouTube.

But

I feel like Charlie Rose is a guy that got canceled who's in the ilk of like the intellectual.

Yeah, but he's not as old as like that.

Aren't you running into the same problem?

You want a young man?

Just because he's got a bad thing.

That's a fucking Matt Lauer.

I mean, Matt Lauer.

What if we ask what a guy who's a news man?

That's who?

Give him a smart hair dupe.

Give him a makeover.

Or get like

a George Takai, like

somebody from a nerdy, like Star Trek or like, or, you know, Picard or somebody like that.

You cannot put Takai on there.

That is great.

Takai's getting canceled, man.

He's been grabbing Cox and all that.

He's getting great.

That's what he's saying.

He needs a gig.

It adds an edge.

We can get him for cheap.

Right.

He's grabbing Cox.

That's cancelable.

He's in?

That's cancelable, yeah.

I got to go, guys.

I apologize.

Yeah, I don't blame you.

No, no, no.

I'm having a great time.

It's 1.32, though.

By the time we walk out of here, get in the car, all that shit.

All right, let me read some stuff real fast.

First is for Ming Chen, actually.

CapCityComicCon.com.

Go there.

You'll see tickets to $250.

I have dinner with Ming on July 1st in Lansing, Michigan.

And you may shake your heads at it.

You may shake your heads at it, but he sold three tickets already.

Really?

Yeah, one to his wife and two to his kids.

Hell, thank you.

Thank you.

Who's Ming Chen?

Oh, wait, no, I can't stop it.

I got the Joe's big comic book men.

Oh, yeah, Joe's plugs.

I thought you were a comic book men fan.

Is he one of the comic book men?

You're no fan.

You don't know Ming Chen.

Get the fuck out of here.

He was the guy we tortured.

Yeah, he was a little Asian guy.

Oh,

okay.

He's been off the air six years, hasn't it?

You never forget Michael Channel.

Do you still have this staying power of, like, let's say, I knew you when I fucking met you?

Like, say, a little house on the prairie, for example.

I knew you when I met you.

I don't remember.

Maybe I'm not.

Maybe I didn't watch as much as I thought I did.

I have a little egg on my face.

No.

But

I remember you two guys.

We'll talk about Oxymoron.

Yeah.

Off my tip.

Fair enough.

All right.

All right.

So these are Joe DeRosa's plugs.

Yes.

April 20th, 420, Hitler's birthday.

Thursday, April 20th.

7.30 and 10 in Cleveland, Ohio at Dunlaps.

Yes.

Columbus, Ohio.

Check this shit out.

Friday and Saturday night, April 21st and 22nd, 7.30 and 9.30 shows.

Yes.

And then Baltimore, Maryland.

Well, those are at a different venue, though, too.

They're at a different.

Yeah, well, what's the point of the

one?

Yeah, I'm sorry.

Oh, the attic, Columbus.

Sorry about that.

You don't even have to say the venues.

You can just say that cities.

Baltimore, Maryland, Friday the 28th, Saturday the 29th.

Yep.

7.30.

And...

Oh, wait, different time shows.

But, you know.

That's okay.

Just go online, check it out.

Fuck.

New York, the Crane Theater on Wednesday, May 3rd.

Yes.

That's where I'm going to show you.

Just all your shows.

awesome.

Just announced.

Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania, May 4th and 5th.

Yes.

And then the one I'm going to, if you want to come and hang out, I'll be there.

100%.

September 16th, Evan L, New Jersey.

All right.

Yeah.

Tickets are at JoeDeRosacomedy.com.

I also, I already plugged Joey Roses.

Thank you.

But I also want to plug Sal and I.

I have two podcasts.

We'll see you in hell, me and Pat Walsh.

We review movies and stuff like that.

Stuff that fans of this show would probably be into, I would think.

Check it out.

New episodes are Patreon only, but patreon.com/slash W-S-Y-I-H podcast.

And then

Sal and I have Taste Buds every Monday on YouTube, and we're doing our first ever live show May 10th.

We're doing a full-on live stream, special guests.

A lot of fun.

Puzzle?

Not Puzzle Aldrin.

Stay tuned for tickets.

And there's going to be a live audience, too.

We're about to announce the venue.

So if you're in New York, you you can actually come to the live show itself and

just stream it and blah, blah, blah.

So there you go.

All right.

And I can highly recommend.

I'm not just saying this.

Obviously, I like the guy.

He's my friend.

He's here.

But Joe DeRosa is literally one of my favorite comedians.

He has a dark edge that I really enjoy.

Thanks, bro.

You don't see that as much anymore.

You don't see it as much anymore.

I watched Chris Rock's special last night.

I was like, this shit's fucking boring.

It is boring.

There's some great jokes, but it's like.

There's a couple good moments, but it's an hour.

And I'm like, this shit is just boring to me.

I don't want to to hear how fucking rich you are and how well your fucking kids are off.

I don't care about any of that.

It's like fucking 20 minutes of that shit.

I don't care.

Well, I appreciate jokes.

Thank you that you liked my comedy.

Love it.

I appreciate it.

Love it.

Thank you, man.

Thank you.

Mario, let me get this guy back to.

It's great to see you guys.

Thank you.

Thanks for coming in.

Dude, anytime.

Our new era.

I had a great time.

I love this, man.

You guys are the best.

I love you guys.

I look forward to our new friendship.

Thank you.

Start texting about that kind of thing.

I'm sorry, roll.

Trust me on that one.

It took me 15 years before he was like, all right, you're a friend.

All right.