#542: The Sting, too

Creepy is not like, oh, there's a baby, let me cut those fucking arms and legs off.

So you lost.

I lost.

Did a man touch touch a penis?

That's what I'm getting at here.

I won't even care if I look down and it's old urine.

I'd be happy to bathe in my own urine at this point.

Tell him, Steve, Dave.

Hello, and welcome to this week's edition of Tell'em Steve Dave.

Now with 100% more Walt Flanagan.

And isn't that what everybody wants and loves?

We missed you, Walt.

Oh, thank you.

Yeah,

really missed you a lot.

Yeah, it's been a long time since I've.

It's been about a month since I've done anything recording-wise.

It's the last time we record would have been the Christmas show, right?

Yeah, I think so.

Yeah, that was the end of November.

Yeah, yeah, yep.

Yeah, so you're looking at it, it's like almost six weeks now.

Yeah, I had to shut everything down for health reasons.

A A little bit of a health scare.

Yeah, it was rough last part of 2022.

I thought Tom Brady had a bad.

Yeah.

He went through it.

He had a picnic compared to what I went through.

Too many Flintstone vitamins?

What was...

Well,

indeed, the pump is stomach.

Like, Wilma?

Barney, what is going on here?

What is this guy on?

Maybe not enough.

Because I had stopped taking the Flintstones for close to 30 years.

Maybe if I had, this wouldn't have happened.

It was a shock to your system.

system.

Yeah.

But I woke up the day before my birthday in October because I went to bed feeling fine.

And I woke up and

I couldn't urinate no matter how hard I tried.

I couldn't urinate, even though I felt like I had to go.

I just couldn't do it.

So I thought maybe I had a kidney stone.

I thought.

That's what you told me at first.

Yeah, that's what I thought I had.

And I went to an EMO

like down the street from my house and I told them, I don't know if I have an infection or a kidney stone, and they were like, STD.

They asked that.

If I had any,

not, they didn't say unusual sex.

They said it was a certain way they said.

There was a phrase that they used,

and I was just, I just shook them off.

It's like, no, no, it's not that.

Oh, I got eight?

Oh, my God.

I thought it was a kidney stone.

Because I thought it was a kidney stone because I figured that's what would be blocking it up.

Everything I've heard from a kidney stone is like, you can't go.

Right.

Even though you feel like you have to go.

Or I thought I had an infection.

So I went to the EMO and the lady was like,

and this was on a Saturday.

And like I said, it was the day before my birthday.

So it felt like

my clock just expired.

Like, you know, like I was like a piece of old bread, like a loaf of bread that just expired exactly on the expiration date of my birthday.

So she said, it could be an infection or it could be a stone, but you'd be in more agony.

And I was like,

I tell you, I'm not feeling right.

I said, I do feel a lot of pain.

I said, she goes, no, the pain with a kidney stone is unbearable.

You would be in agony.

And I was like, all right.

So she said, flush it.

You know, keep drinking a lot of cranberry juice and water.

Now, do you like cranberry juice?

I found that I actually do like cranberry juice.

I had not tried it before, but I was like, I'll try anything at this point.

So I was like, get me some cranberry juice.

And, you know, Deb got me some cranberry juice.

And it's not bad.

I still won't try cranberry sauce, though.

That looks nasty.

Okay.

It looks slimy and gross.

Sure.

But cranberry juice, I can stomach cranberry juice.

I can deal with it.

So I started drinking that and water in hopes to unclog what was going on.

But what I was doing was the absolute worst thing because you were just loading up the pressure.

Yeah, I was just filling up my bladder to the point where, like, by

day three.

You still hadn't peed.

I still haven't peed, and it was agony.

It was agony.

I think that's when I talked to you, and you were like, it's unbearable.

And

you still thought it was kidney stones at that time.

I didn't know.

I don't know.

I don't like to go to a doctor.

So I was like, it'll pass.

Because this had happened about a year earlier, almost to the exact date when I had COVID.

I had COVID, and I woke up one morning when I had COVID, and I couldn't go to the bathroom.

But by the next morning, I could go.

So I was like, well, it'll probably just unclog itself.

Whatever was doing it last time, it unclogged.

I love your philosophies.

Like, if there's a noise in his car, he'll just turn his radio up and it's like, it's better.

But there are so many pains that happen, little aches and pains that you wake up with that just go away by the end of the day.

Especially as you get older, you almost expect it.

Yeah, so like, I didn't think there was anything wrong.

So

day three of not going to the bathroom was really bad.

What all I could do was go into the bathtub, and that's the only relief I had was to sit in a warm tub.

Really?

Because I could, I don't know, it was taking the, I guess, the water, the buoyancy was taking the pressure off my

kidneys or whatever was filling up the bladder.

Right.

So I would just let that was the only time that was the only way I could sleep because I couldn't sleep.

Because

if I would go to sleep within five minutes, I would have to run into the bathroom and feel like I had to go to the bathroom.

You know, I couldn't go.

So it was a constant, like, I'd sleep for 10 minutes, wake up, and run into the bathroom and have to go.

If I went into the bathtub and a really hot bath, I could sleep for a good half hour, though.

Oh, my God.

And I didn't care.

Like, even if I was like, I don't even care if I go to the bathroom.

In the bathtub?

Yeah, I don't even care if

it's sitting in the fucking in the toilet, basically.

Yeah.

I don't even care if I look down and it's and it's all urine.

I'd be happy to sit to bathe in my own urine at this point.

Got a clip for this weekend.

So, day four of not going, and also what happened was I couldn't eat.

Even though I felt like I was hungry, I would, you know, my wife was getting really upset because I wasn't eating and I was like, I don't have any appetite.

I go, I don't know what's going on.

So she's like, I'll just get, I'll get your favorite, you know, baked chicken and mashed potatoes.

And I put a mashed potato into my mouth, a spoonful of it, and I gagged and had to run to the bathroom because.

But I couldn't throw up because I hadn't eaten anything in four days.

But it made me gag like I was going to throw up.

It just, my stomach just would not take in food for some reason.

And I think it was because my bladder was so swollen that it was maybe just pressing on my stomach or something and making me believe that I was full, even though I wasn't full.

Because the next day, or that night, on the fourth night, I finally went to the emergency room

and they tested me for an infection, but there was no infection.

And so they were like, we can't do anything for you.

What?

They were like, we can't do anything for you.

Even though I was in agony, I was just laying on this metal table

just like, and when they said for hours, because they didn't see me for a good six hours in the emergency room.

So I just laid there, and my wife was sitting there, and I would fall asleep for a little bit.

Like, and then I would feel like I had to go to the bathroom.

So I have to run to the bathroom in the emergency room, but nothing was coming out.

And they were ready to send me home.

And I remember my wife being like, well, what do you mean you're going to send him home?

There's something really wrong.

And they go, well, you have to see a urologist.

And she's like, is there a urologist on staff in the hospital?

She goes, yeah, but he can't see you.

I was like, why?

What a silly question.

Why?

And she was like, no, that's not how it works.

She goes, she was so uncaring.

And it was the same lady I saw when I had COVID, too.

And she was a bitch then, too.

Sorry, I remember.

Didn't she chastise you?

So she was, and she gave me something that would

take away bladder spasms,

but it didn't do anything.

And she said, you had to make an appointment with a urologist.

So I tried to make an appointment in the what my wife did in the morning the next morning, which is day five.

And they're like, we'll see you in February.

We don't have any open dates.

So I'm like, well, what are you going to do?

But my wife finally was like, called someone that would let me come in

and,

you know, they did this, they put this machine on you.

I don't know how it works.

It's really amazing.

Is they just put these, like this little

metal

disc where your bladder is on, like where your bladder is in your body.

It's just on your skin, though.

It's like sonar?

Yeah, and they could tell, she goes, oh, you're, you're over, like, you're like 99% full.

And you're like, you're probably having like spillage.

You know, you have so much urine in you.

That can, if I'm not mistaken, that can get you sick, right?

Yeah, like it starts leaking out into your body.

Yeah.

So she's like, we have to, she goes, you can't go.

Your prostate's probably very swollen, and that's why you you can't go.

We'll give you some medicine to try to shrink it, but until it does, we need to put a catheter in to empty you.

I had that when I got my knee replaced.

It's really fun, isn't it?

I didn't care at that point.

At the emergency room, though, I remember when the lady said that I just had to go home, I was like, you have to give me drugs, I said.

You have to give me a painkiller.

You have to give me a Percocet.

You have to give me something.

I said, I can't sleep.

Just give me something that'll knock me out.

I said, because I haven't slept in almost five days for like 10 minutes at a time.

And they were like, we can't give you that.

So

I didn't care what they did to me at that point.

And they put the catherine in, which again is fucking horrendous.

But it was like they were like coming in with buckets, like because so much was in me.

Oh my God.

And

that was amazing relief, though.

Oh, my God.

I can't imagine.

Yeah, like my appetite came back immediately.

Like, I was famished.

So

they were like, okay, we'll

keep you on the medicine for a week, and it should shrink it enough where you'll be able to go, but you'll have to keep the catheter in for a week.

And when I went back,

they took the catheter out.

I went home.

Started filling up again on water to make sure to see if it was going to work, and it didn't work, which was a fucking bummer.

Yeah,

so like if it doesn't work, you got to come back that afternoon.

And

so I had to go back in the afternoon.

They're like, you're in there, like, you still can't go.

And I was like, no, it's not working.

So they're like, okay, you're going to have to see a specialist now.

And you're going to have to go to see all these other doctors because we can't, we'd have to see if your kidneys have been damaged.

So I went to more doctors.

This is scary shit to hear.

It is scary because I don't go.

I'm not in this system.

Right.

And they're like, well, who's your doctor?

I don't know.

You, the guy, yeah,

get him.

And of course, they, and then even at the emergency room, they're like, well, who's your doctor?

And my wife's like, he doesn't have a doctor.

And she goes, why doesn't he have a doctor?

Because he doesn't go to a doctor.

And she's like, well, that's smart.

And I just, I go, I go, now's not the time for that.

Is it the time not to wag your finger in my face?

I go, is it the time to try to help me?

I said,

she was such a bitch.

So I mean, I've seen more doctors

in October, early November than I have ever seen ever in my life.

Just going for tests, going for,

you know, that's, that's, that, uh, where they look at your kidneys.

I forget what that's called.

It's like a

sonogram?

Yeah, maybe.

It's something like that, where they do, you know, they put you on a machine and the lady is able to.

Yeah, she like rubs the thing.

She rubs some warm gel on you, and she rubs this metal, like

I don't know what it is, but they rub it over your body, and I can see how your kidneys look.

Right.

And

like I said, so my wife's taken me to more doctors in that two-week span than I had ever done in my life since she's known me.

And yeah, it's like, you know, and the things they start throwing around as to why it could be happening.

You know, that's scary shit.

Yeah.

They're probably talking of like dialysis and shit like that.

No, no, not not that early.

But the reasons for it all could be, you know, the words that nobody wants to hear.

So

I go back to

because they put leave me on the medicine for one more week in that time to see the specialist.

And they said maybe it'll go down again.

I don't know.

But when you go see the specialist, you know.

You know, we'll see what happens.

So then when you see the specialist,

they got to do a scope.

And I'm like, well.

you're being invaded right and left, bro.

Where's that scope going?

I'm like, well, God,

is it going in

the backside?

No one told me that.

I fucking have cleaned up better.

I really was like, why?

I go, no one said this.

I was just like, I was like, well, are you going to give me a second?

Like, if I go to banter real quick?

I didn't know that anybody was going, you know,

I didn't wipe, okay?

I haven't felt good for weeks.

I go, you know, I haven't been as diligent as as I should have been, maybe.

But if I knew somebody was going around, sneaking around back there.

Sneaking around.

But it wasn't back there.

The scope went through your

P-hole.

Yeah.

Oh, shit.

Which was

as wincing as you could.

Like the pain.

The pain.

They don't numb you?

He didn't.

He didn't numb me.

Okay.

You know, and he was just like, oh, yeah.

He goes, yeah, you're very enlarged.

He's going.

Well, how does it work?

He's a camera that he just put in.

No, no, I know that.

But like, how does it work?

Like, is he palming your

head?

It is lying there and he just puts it in.

Did a man touch a penis?

That's what I'm getting at here.

Oh, so many.

More dudes.

Oh, I didn't care, dude.

If there was a doctor.

No wonder that flag's flying in front of your house now.

The state I was in, if the doctor had said to me, the only way that you'll feel better is if I I suck it out, I'd have been like, let's go.

Let's go, brother.

Let's make sure I got insurance.

I don't care how long it takes.

Holy shit.

But so when he tells me that, so like...

I went to medical school for this, you guys.

He was a young guy, too, a specialist.

Very young specialist.

Gentle.

So he says, you know, this is not, this is not going to feel comfortable.

He goes, you know, we got to put a camera in there.

And it's exactly what you think it's going to feel like.

There is no, like, you almost know what it feels like.

You almost know what it's going to feel like, even before you've never felt it before.

You almost have a clue, and it did feel like that.

And he's looking around on a computer screen, and he's like, oh, yeah, yeah.

He goes,

It's rough.

Yeah.

And you know what, though?

I am so so scared that it's like, it could be anything.

Pain is secondary at this point now.

Yeah.

Because I don't really, since I have a Catherine, I don't need, I'm not really

worried.

They're like, I don't really have any more real pain, just discomfort.

Sure.

No pain, no dignity.

So.

Shitty ass.

He is like, yeah, he goes, it's very enlarged.

And I go, okay, so how do we fix it?

He goes, you got to have surgery.

He goes.

No.

And he says it like that, like real, like, solemn.

Yeah, you got to have surgery.

And I was like, He said it so.

He could have been like, Ah, it's just a surgery.

Yeah.

And you would have been like, Oh,

so it's devastating.

It's devastating because you're just like, the way he says it is just like,

it didn't sound good.

Right.

Like, what does this entail?

Like, you know, like, am I like going to be cut in half and sewn back together?

And

I just want to say, if it sounds like I'm I'm genuinely surprised at what's going on, it's because it's harder to get information about Walt's health.

Like, you don't answer.

And then I ask Brian, and Brian's like, I don't know.

He's like, he doesn't really want to.

Yeah, I don't want to talk about it at the moment because all I would get would be,

I just didn't want to talk about it.

I just wanted to just ignore it and be like, I just wanted to just like not like try as best as I can not think about it.

Because when I thought about it, I was

it's just nerve-wracking.

It's just like

I can't like the like everything else that you think matters is like, don't fucking matter.

Yeah.

All that shit that like you were like, you were concerned about that, like, you know, early, late, early October is meaningless.

None of it matters.

It's just, God, let me live.

Yeah.

And I'll figure out the rest.

Yeah.

I'm like, oh, my, oh, my God, this product came in and it's not the exact way I thought it was going to be.

You know what?

Fuck that shit.

I don't give a fuck.

Oh, I got to go talk about it.

Calendars from last year, tough shit.

I'm not, I don't, yeah, nothing mattered.

And so

he's telling me what's going to happen and what they're going to do.

And

they're going to go into me with all these little robots.

Like robot, robots.

Like a nanobot?

Like a nanobot?

Like a little.

I don't know.

I got like four holes in me that are healing.

And

where do they go in?

They went through your stomach.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, they went through my stomach.

I asked him, I was like, Should I be a little bit more careful on the other side

on the day?

Yeah,

like be really,

really diligent

the day of the surgery.

And he was like, Yeah, we're going through your stomach.

He's like, Well, probably should we be diligent every day?

The answer to that's always yes.

Ask yourself that question every morning, and the answer is yes.

So

I'm like, so he could could tell I'm upset.

He's like, he goes,

so I'm like, what does this mean?

And he got, like, well, like, am I going?

He's like, you know, it should be okay.

He goes, you know, and he says, it should be okay.

I mean, you're young to have this, he said, though.

You know, you probably are dealing with this maybe 20 years before you really should have.

It's just in a large prostate.

Possibly.

Oh, you don't know it.

But he's saying you're dealing with it young.

Like, how does he know?

Because usually this happens in somebody at a more advanced age.

Right.

That's what I'm saying.

Right.

So there's a reason it could be a more serious reason why this is happening.

I understand.

Okay.

The symptoms are early without even knowing.

And so they're like, you know, we got to test to see

if this is caused by something bad.

And so that's not good to hear.

And they bring my wife in.

And that's terrifying for her because I asked her to come in.

All around, this doesn't sound fun at all.

No, there's no fun.

And I don't want to make it seem like, look, man, I hear from listeners constantly, God, a lot of listeners are going through some fucking hellish shit.

And they listen to us to escape it.

So I don't even know if I should be talking about this to them because to those people.

No, other people

are always easier.

Like really

harsh medical things people are dealing with and they use TSD as an escape.

Yeah.

So many.

And it's.

It's very

humbling to hear that, you know, when I get those emails and it's just like,

that to me is just like, how do you even respond to that?

Something like that.

So, I'm really like a little, I don't want to be like, oh, woe is me

just because I have something wrong, too.

Now, well, you're just talking about your experiences, man.

I know, but it's, I just don't want to be like, oh, fuck.

Like, well, Ryan's like, this doesn't sound fun.

And I'm like, well, it isn't fun.

But, I mean, at the end of the day, it's not fun, though.

No matter what, the outcome.

Yeah, you're not sitting there saying you, you know.

I think the, in fact, I've heard from many people that, like, when I talk about my shit, like depression or whatever, like people can relate.

So there are people out there that are like, I know what he's going through.

And like I said, like, so like this is a very

trauma tr I think I guess it would be traumatic is a good word because like I don't want to talk to anybody.

I don't want to like

I just don't want to deal with it.

I almost want to like

just run away from it.

And so those so then they're like the guy's like, so when's the operation?

He goes, well, you know, it'll probably be next week.

But then I get a call the next day from the, from the hospital and they're like, oh, no, it's not going to be for another month.

So I got to keep a catheter in then

for that long because I can't empty it on myself.

So remember that day we're fucking moving all those boxes from my house to your house?

Yeah.

It feels like I got a rubber glove half in my cock and half out.

And every time I walk, someone's tugging it.

You had a catheter in that day?

Yeah.

Dude, you should have told me.

I would have gone and hired a couple guys to come and help me.

I had no idea.

Wait, what?

You helped them move?

Yeah.

A lot of boxes.

I don't heard those.

Because it had to get like over 100 boxes removed.

So that was

the day when I was.

Remember, you were like, remember that last load?

You're like, you just stay home.

You can do it yourself.

I'll do it.

I'll just take care of it.

And I was like, you sure?

That's why I was so thankful you said.

Yeah, because it just felt like somebody was just tugging on that glove that's hanging out of my cock all the time.

Oh, God.

Because every step just is uncomfortable.

Every step just feels like someone's tugging on that rubber glove.

And we had to move the boxes.

Like, it wasn't like, ah, we can do it tomorrow or next week.

These had to be moved that day.

They had to get out of the weather.

Yeah.

So, wow.

Any kind of movement is

not good.

In terms of, like, it's not super painful.

I don't want to make it sound like I'm in on a scale of one to 10, it's like a

five in terms of discomfort.

Yeah, but you have something in your fucking cop.

I don't care what you're doing.

It's the worst place to have.

It's the worst place that.

A five in that area

just feels like it should be a 10.

It should automatically rise to 10.

Right?

You know, a 10.

If it's in my hand, yeah, it's a five.

It's going to stay a five.

It's in my dick, it's like, yeah, it's a 10, even if it is a five.

It's a psychological horror.

Yeah.

It hurts.

So

I have all that time now

to constantly feel like every time I move, I feel it.

It hurts.

And it's that, and also I'm terrified now to have an operation.

Of course.

Terrified.

And

we don't know what caused it.

So it's like those nights between like 10

and 2 where it's just you,

just flipping it over in your head.

Oh, it's awful.

It's fucking terrible.

And then the fucking...

Did you ever have surgery?

Yeah.

When did you have surgery?

I got the throat surgery.

I had the throat, I had polyps taken out of my throat.

Did you have it in an emergency, like in a hospital?

I mean, they knocked me out and everything.

Have you gone to the hospital?

Yeah.

Or was it in the office?

One was in, my hand was in an office.

My throat was, I think, Sloan

Kettering, maybe?

Or that was a spinal tap.

Man, they knocked me out.

So the whole day is kind of fuzzy.

So.

Yeah, I think it was in a hospital.

I think it was in a hospital in Manhattan.

Okay, so

the countdown starts every day.

It's like one day closer to this, one day closer to this happening.

And as it gets really close, then it's like it's hard to ignore it.

And the whole time I'm going like, you know, this ain't so bad.

I can just live with this fucking,

if it has to be this way, I could probably deal with it.

You know, I'm an old man.

I don't need to do anything else.

I don't need anything.

I'm just fine with this.

Because I'm so terrified to go in.

I don't have any experience with doctors, so so it makes it even more

the unknown, like, because I have no real.

Sure.

Well, going under is a big deal to a lot of people.

It's very scary to a lot of undergraduate.

Some people are just like, eh, whatever.

Yeah.

And I'm like, what the fuck is the matter with you?

Like,

how is this not more of a concern to you that you are basically like

basically you're dead?

Yeah, for a little while.

You're not really dead, but like you're, you're unconscious dead.

Like you can't be, like you can't be woken up.

Right, there's no matter what anybody's shaking you and me like, hey, man, you know, you're snoring.

So I kind of liked it.

I was like, it's a break.

A drink and a zane.

I'm like, oh, yeah.

So the day of the operation,

I'm supposed to go in at 3 o'clock in the afternoon, and I'm supposed to go home that afternoon.

But I get a call and they're like.

But what is the surgery?

They're going to go in through my stomach.

Yeah.

And they're going to scoop out

the prostate like an orange, he says.

Like take the pulp out of an orange.

Yeah.

And

that'll make it smaller.

It'll take it off the uretha and you'll have a stream again.

Okay.

And you should be peeing like a 20-year-old, he said.

Oof, nice.

So, but I get that call, and they're like, the hospital calls, and it's like, hey, the person before you,

they canceled.

And can you come in earlier?

Why they canceled earlier?

Did they cancel or yeah, now the whole time, this whole time, I'm looking for signs everywhere.

Like if a song comes on the radio,

I'm like, whoa,

it's an omen.

Yeah.

Yeah.

So now there's this and I'm like, isn't it weird when shit like this happens, you get real superstitious about things?

And so

when they want me to come in early,

I'm like, oh boy, what happened?

Did this guy was going to have the same thing and he's like, I'm not doing it?

Or did he just, like, why did he cancel?

I want to know why he canceled.

So I get there, and, you know, and then the first thing the lady sets call me and then you were into the,

to bring me into the back to get me ready.

She calls my name and she's looking at the thing.

She's looking at me and she goes,

you're...

You're too young to have this operation.

Are you sure that this is this is correct?

And I'm like,

this is just a nurse saying this.

And I'm like, yeah, that's my name.

I said, because I don't know what the opera, they had a certain name for it, whatever the procedure is called.

She goes, you're sure you're having this?

She goes.

She goes, because like my father had this, and he's like in his 80s.

And I'm like, well, yeah, I'm pretty sure.

Does it make me feel better?

Yeah.

But she's really nice, though, and she brings me in it back.

But then the first thing she tells me is, why the guy fucking canceled?

Oh, no.

Unsolicited, she tells me.

Because you're lucky, huh?

You get to come in a little early, get to go home earlier.

Yeah, the guy before you canceled, he got scared.

Oh, God.

Yeah, he didn't want to have it before Christmas because it's December 19th.

Oh, okay.

And he does want his recovery around Christmas.

Okay.

And

I'm like, really?

I go, what was he scared of?

She goes, he was scared that, you know,

he wouldn't be recovered in time for Christmas and have a good Christmas.

Yeah.

And I'm like, well, I want to have a good Christmas.

I like Christmas.

I like Christmas.

So should I cancel too?

She's like, no, no, no, don't cancel.

She goes, 70.

so

they give me they can't give me penicillin because i'm allergic to penicillin so they give me something else which causes my scalp to fucking um

break out

so like i have hives on the back of my scalp or on the top of my scalp because i'm allergic to whatever they gave me so then they still you have them no no no only for like a half hour because then they took that off and give me something else to to uh

for whatever whatever they needed to to administer into me

So, about three hours after sitting there, like just getting prepping for surgery, which is like fucking agony, just like, just get it done then.

If I'm going to fucking do it, if I'm going to sit here and I'm going to do it, and I've decided, okay, I'm going to go through it, this, just fucking do it.

Wheel me in there, or knock me out, which I thought they were going to do, knock me out and wheel me in.

But they do it the opposite.

They wheel you in and then knock you out.

Everybody's around and you're like vulnerable as fuck.

Are they drawn on you?

No, not yet.

But they give them breast implants.

They take you from this one room where everybody's getting ready for their surgery and wheel you through this long corridor that never ends.

And then the doctor just meets up with you at a halfway point and he's like, you ready for this?

The last guy wasn't.

I was like,

yeah, I hope so, I said.

I hope so.

And he's like, it'll be fine.

And they start going through those doors where the doors open.

Yeah.

Like, you know, like they're swinging doors.

And when you get through the one set of doors, it's like a dramatic dramatic, like, 60-degree drop in temperature.

And I was like,

does anybody else feel that?

I said, because I'm cold.

I said.

He goes, yeah, it's very cold.

They have to keep it cold in here.

The lady says, I was like, okay, I'm really cold.

I said.

Do you have a shawl, perhaps?

All I have on is basically a tissue gown.

Yeah.

And it is so cold in there.

I guess because they need to keep it at a certain temperature for

germs or whatever.

I don't know.

It's probably something to do with, is that where they're doing the surgery?

Yeah.

It's probably something to do with a doctor's refreshment.

And like, it's one of those.

It is like frigid.

It is like meat locker cold.

So you get in there and then they want me to get off the table I'm on.

He goes, Can you get off that table you're on and get onto this table?

So just scoot over.

And under that table is all those lights.

Wow, you're in a real operating room, huh?

Oh, yeah, with like 100 people like milling around.

Everybody's like milling around with urgency.

It's like medical students

throw like sketches of Waltz cock and shit like that.

Girls are looking at it.

Look at him.

Oh, yeah.

And let me tell you,

a cock that's had a catherine rare for two months ain't one that isn't.

No,

no, no,

no, no.

It's just defeated.

It's like, it doesn't want to do anything anymore.

It just wants to be left alone and just fucking like, yeah, cover it up

and leave it in the dark.

Yeah,

you can't help but feel.

I felt the same way when I got my knee done.

Same thing with the paper gun and all that shit.

I'm just like, when I go out, are they all going to be like, look at the size of this fucking guy's cock?

Because it's 60 degrees in there, like you say, so maximum shrinkage.

Yeah, well,

I had given up.

I had given up.

I didn't give a fuck anymore.

I just want to look.

I don't care.

You can fuck, I could be the butt of your fucking small dick jokes from now until doomsday if you fucking wake me up when this is all over, you got car planched, go for it.

That's a good one.

And so I get on that table, and all the lights on it, and the anesthesians who called me the day before

to, I don't even know why, you just want to know how much I weighed and everything.

I recognize his voice and he goes, he goes, okay, you ready?

And I was just like, yeah, I'm ready.

I'm ready.

And fuck, I don't, and then gone.

Like, it almost is like,

I can't remember anything after him asking me that, even though I'm sure something else happened after that before I was out.

Yeah.

A lot happened after that.

And then I, and then I'm woken up by some lady who and I can't find her because she's calling my name.

And I'm in a bed and I can't find where this lady's calling me.

And I can't even really move.

And my dick hurts like hell.

And a bigger catheter is in now.

This is like fucking one for like fucking Andre the Giant.

Catheter in.

Not me, not diminutive Walt Flanagan.

He does not need the Catholic.

Professional wrestling name, diminutive Walt Flanagan.

He does not need a fucking garden hose.

He doesn't need one.

Believe me.

You know, the one that had in earlier was the perfect size.

Aldilocks fucking,

you know, would have fucking thrown this one away.

He said, this one's way too big, but it hurts.

And this is like with all pain meds.

And what day is this?

December 19th.

December 19th.

Okay.

Why?

I just try to keep the time on.

Oh, okay.

And so I'm woken up.

I can't find the lady who's calling me, but I'm waking up and that realization, I was like, oh, it's over.

I made it.

But it's hard to be happy because it's like this ache, this fucking massive ache.

I know what it is, though.

And she's telling me, she's like, you can't go home, she goes.

And I'm like, where the fuck is this lady?

But she's in a chair and she's...

She's at a desk and she's typing shit.

Weird is that.

Yeah, that is.

You can't go home.

She goes.

You have to stay in the night because you're having problems breathing.

She goes, when you're coming out,

your breathing's too labored when you're coming out of the anesthesia.

And I'm like,

what time is it?

She goes, it's five.

And I was like, is it in the morning or is it in the afternoon?

She goes, it's in the afternoon.

And I was like, okay.

I don't care.

That's what I told her.

I was like, I know, I don't care.

If I have to stay, it's fine.

She goes, okay, we told your wife.

And I was like, okay, is she home?

She goes, no, she's still here.

And I was like, all right.

So, what happens now?

She goes, you're going to be put into a room where we're going to have to monitor your breathing.

And they put like all tubes in my nose and everything.

But I had no problems breathing.

Like, I didn't have any to me.

Like,

I took the tubes out because at a certain point, I was like, this is fucking annoying.

And I was breathing fine.

So I don't know what happened.

But they have like so much blood.

is coming out of you because they're flushing it out right all night long.

I don't even know how the fuck I would have gone home and did this on my own.

Oh, wow.

I don't know how they would have expected me to get up at 5.30 and go home and do this.

I was so glad that I stayed the night.

But it was weird.

There was a nurse came in and she was like, in six hours,

we're going to have to go over from your toes to your head, every inch of your body.

She goes and check it.

I was like, why?

I go, why?

She's like, I do mean every inch.

Mr.

Flanagan.

It'll be from toe to head inspection of your skin, she goes, to make sure everything's okay.

It's like, do I have to get up?

She goes, no.

I was like, I don't care.

I'll be fine, whatever.

And

then they did.

They came in and did that, which was really weird.

Why are they doing that?

I don't know.

Two nurses came in and like inspected me from head to toe, my skin.

And they were like,

these scratches on your back, where are those from?

It's like, I didn't have any scratches on my back.

I don't know what they're from.

I go, I don't know.

I go, she goes, she goes, did you scratch your back today?

And I was like, maybe, probably.

I don't know.

And then they let me out the next day, let me go home.

But, you know, then I had a catheter in until they need a week for

the surgery to like everything to come down.

Swelling and stuff.

Yeah.

So that week is fucking tough because they left that fucking enlarged catheter.

The one I don't need.

The one I really don't need.

This one's like, this is for a man who fucking is.

This is for a fucking hardy man.

Right.

You know, and so it's such a fucking bummer because it hurts every time you move.

What did you do with your time?

Just watch TV and just chill out.

Yeah.

I mean, you know, I have that date in my head.

Like, I'm getting this released in a week.

You know, I'm getting, you know, this is going to be over in a week.

That's what they're telling me.

Are you like, but making it through the surgery?

It's a relief.

It's not the, it's not the big casino.

You know what I mean?

Like, it's not.

Yeah.

So it's like

there is a sense of relief.

But when I thought, when I got the catheter out a week later,

they sent me home.

Again, this is the same thing that happened after they gave me medicine, the same procedure.

You got to come back later in the afternoon if it doesn't work.

And then they said, you know what?

Since you had surgery, you come back anyway, even if it does work.

We want to make sure.

So I had to go get it out at like 7 a.m.

at the doctor's office, then go back at 3 p.m.

How does that feel when it's out?

Are you like...

It doesn't really matter.

At this point,

All I want to do is I just want to be able to pee on my own.

If that works, then it's like pain is secondary.

No, no, no.

I mean, like, once the catheter is removed, are you like...

No, there's still nerves that's going to have to go back in because what if this doesn't work?

Got you.

Got you.

Okay.

But because it didn't work the first time, and now it was like, that was really depressing.

And

so I go home and I like drink some water, drink juice, and see if you can go.

And the first time I try, I can go.

Oh, great.

Right.

So, yeah, that's great.

It's a good sign.

It's a good sign.

So I go back and they're like, yep, okay, you know, this and this.

And they tell you what you can't.

I can't do anything for 90 days.

I can't lift.

I can't run.

I was like, okay, not what I was going to do anyway.

Can't do anything, no.

No hijinks, nothing.

Nothing.

But it's been already fucking half, it feels like half a year with no hijinks.

So I'm like, I'm already fucked.

I can be a fucking priest at this point.

I'm a monk.

And

but then it started, like initially, even you're going,

there was this little slight discomfort.

But then it starts to, every time I go, it stings, it stings.

And so they said it would be, you know, that could be either you had a slight tear from that catheter

or you have an infection.

So I got to go back tomorrow and see what it is because

I'm having stinging when I go to the bathroom.

But I'm going

with

no problem.

Like it's coming out like.

Is it a 20-year-old pee stream?

You know what?

I don't remember what it felt like to pee like a 20-year-old.

It didn't feel like this, I don't think, though.

It just comes out almost like you don't even know it's coming out.

It's like there's no

unencumbered.

Okay, maybe that's how it was.

Maybe that's how it was.

Like, you barely felt it coming out.

But with the stinging, though.

I just understood my pants a few times.

Blame it on that.

But when the stinging started, man, it was like, I thought I would be over with this.

And it was like deep, deep fucking glum

because I was like, I was so set to be done with this.

And it's like, you don't have to come back till March for a checkup.

But now the tear.

Yeah, so that like really set me back mentally, though.

I was just like,

I thought I was going to be done with this.

And so I'm still not done.

So it's like a complete and utter, like, I like

so, like.

Not want to do anything.

I'm just like fucking bummed out.

This is still before Christmas?

This is after Christmas.

Oh, this is after Christmas.

This after christmas so you know i've been dealing with it now like this this burning sensation now for

a week and they don't i don't know i don't know i didn't tell them yet because i figured i'll give it a week to see what it you know if it if it continues and but today would have been a week and it's still going on so i gotta call him tomorrow oh wow yeah i um

You know, Walt let me know he was out of surgery and he was okay and all that stuff.

And I passed it on to you.

But then like two days later, later I texted him to check up didn't hear back so I gave him a day texted again didn't hear back and then I got that feeling in my stomach I was like oh my god did he have to go back to the hospital yeah like what happened I just didn't I just put my phone away that's what I felt that's what I figured I did call your landline which I guess is disconnected now no it's not oh really you must not have I must not have your current number then

after the Sandy we got a different number okay that shows how long it's been since I called your landline and then yeah like later on at the in the day after that second text, when I was going to come to your house the next day, I was like, I got nervous, but I was like,

just stop, because that's like, that's my mother coming up.

Like, that's like, my mother is like that.

It's always worst case scenario.

And that's what I was worried.

I was like, yeah,

I was really glum.

I was like as low as I feel I've ever been.

That's what you said in the text.

Yeah, you're like, I just felt really glum.

I'm so unmotivated, just so like.

Welcome to my world.

You know, that just wasn't over.

And that's unfair, though.

Like I I said, because I know people are going through shit and it doesn't, there's no like deadline.

There's no like ends end line for, you know, for shit like this.

Yeah, but it doesn't mean that...

That doesn't mean you're not entitled to your own

suffering.

And

what the fuck's that got to do with you?

Yeah.

And just like, you know,

you're not taking it away from them, so you shouldn't take it away from them.

I don't want to be complaining.

I don't want to be moaning.

I don't want to be

just bitching because, you know.

What are we going to do for episodes?

Yeah, I know.

Better.

And like I said, and then like

just been, and when I got the, when I got it out, the last time I went to the doctor,

you know, she said

it was an assistant who took it out.

She was like, if the doctor needs to talk to you, he'll call you.

And that sounded very ominous.

And now you're sitting around waiting or not waiting for a phone call.

Yeah.

So like with my phone rang, it was like I had heart palpitations.

My back started sweating because I'm like, oh my God, is the doctor calling me?

Because he's got bad news.

That's fucking Johnson again.

Wow.

So I haven't, I don't want to go back.

I don't want to go back to the doctor.

That's why I'm like, I've been like

putting it off.

I'm like, okay, the stinging is not that bad.

You got to go back.

The stinging is not that bad for what I've dealt with.

Like, I don't want to go back to the doctor.

I can't fucking stand it.

I can't stand being in that fucking room.

It's like, I just want to fucking run from it and be like, like, back in the fucking 1800s, guys just dealt with this shit, right?

Well, they died.

They just died.

They were fucking, they just fucking put some chew in and fucking.

They would take a belt of whiskey, but you don't, that's not your thing.

I don't know.

I don't want to go back to it.

That's why I've been really hesitant.

My wife is like, did you call the doctor?

You got to go back, dude.

I'm like, it's just a little stinging.

It's like, you know, it's probably just an infection.

It'll clear up on its own.

But I'm like, yeah, I got to call it it tomorrow i don't want to though well because because what if it develops into a worse problem because you're not on top of it and then then yeah no it kind of like you're this deep in man you're like you're you're at the fucking

i know you're at the goal line now

did they do while you were in there they were like you're good to go we don't need to see you for 90 days which was like

amazing you know i felt like okay i'm i'm i'm i feel like this i'm closing the chapter on this yeah and the fact that this stinging hasn't gone away is just like devastating yeah because I don't want to deal with them.

I don't want to go back in there and hear something else.

Because every time I'm like, they find something else, I'm like, oh, fuck.

Oh, fuck.

That's why I'm so loath.

I'm like, I can, can I just get through this?

I don't think you can, but you just go back.

Let me ask you, I mean, if you live for, you know, another fucking 30, 40 years of stinging piss, that's.

It only stings for like 10 seconds.

I mean, it's probably nothing, but like, you got to talk to them.

I looked it up and it's like, you know, other people have had catheters in for a longer period of time you know it can develop like little tears well murray when we did it on the tv show we put a catheter in it in him and when he

when they take it out he said the next few days hurt a lot right but he only had it in for a day right he only had it for a few hours right so i've had it in for since october till

december 28th yeah so i looked it up i did i did looking up of people on like some chat rooms and everything just googling And like, you know, this one guy said it took, you know, six weeks for the stinging to actually finally go away because he had a catheter in for a long period of time.

You know, I'm only a week into getting it out.

Sure.

My wife is like, you know, why don't you just call and see what's going on?

Like, you don't understand.

I don't want to go back.

Like, they said I don't have to go back.

I don't think women fully understand avoidance.

You know, like, I'm the same way with shit, like where I'm like, I do not want to do this.

But it's like, it's something you got to do.

Yeah, but I don't want to.

Like you say, you want to run from it.

Right.

And like, you know, I couldn't run from it when I couldn't pee because like it was agony.

This is like not, it's nothing compared to what I was dealing with.

So this is like, I could live with this for the rest of my life.

Right.

But if you don't have it, it's uncomfortable.

And I don't know why it's happening, though, because they said it would sting from the catheter, but I don't know if they said it would last a week though I mean it's probably within normal realm but I mean at least a phone call maybe you don't have to maybe the doctor

I didn't even like ask about like they said they're going to test for other things that could have caused it yeah if I'm not even asking if they don't want to tell me what if it like I don't know I don't need to know but but did they do because since you haven't been to a doctor in so long did they do a full blood work cholesterol

happened too is like that like they the doctor's office called and was like, okay, after that, he said that I needed surgery.

And they're like, okay, we need to get clearance from your doctor that you're okay for surgery.

Yeah.

And my wife was like, well, he doesn't have a doctor.

And they're like, what do you mean?

He goes, he doesn't have it.

He doesn't have a general doctor.

And he hasn't gone to the doctor since 1998.

And they're like, okay, we're going to have to talk to the doctor about this, the urologist doctor, the guy who's doing the surgery.

See what that means.

If that means I have to go and

get physical and see what's going on.

He called back about four hours later and was like, he doesn't need to go see a doctor.

It'll be fine.

And that was a red flag because I'm like, he doesn't fucking know me.

What if I got a social condition?

I'm a sick man.

What if I got a condition and they put me under and I don't wake up then?

That seems negligent, I thought.

Well, that's what I'm saying.

If they did blood work through all these trials and tribulations.

Well, then it turned out the reason he said that was he was right.

He's a doctor.

He's not a panicked man.

They sent me in about two weeks, three weeks before my operation.

They sent me to the the hospital for a series of tests, EKG, is that what it's called?

EKG.

All this blood work and everything.

Oh, so you had a full head.

Yeah.

Yeah, to make sure I was capable of withstanding surgery.

Did anybody say anything to you about your cholesterol counts and stuff like that?

No?

No.

Good.

I don't think that they're looking for that shit, though.

True.

I don't think that they're doing

a battery, a test.

They're just making sure what my heart is to see how much anesthesia I think I need.

Right.

Okay.

And the weight and everything.

But as far as the tests on, like they said, we're going to have to run some tests.

Well, it's been almost a month and no one said anything.

Right.

I don't need to hear call.

I don't need to know.

I don't want to know.

I'm just like, leave me alone.

Just leave me alone now.

I don't, I, I, like, I don't want to hear from anybody anymore about this.

Right.

Unless it's like imperative.

Like unless it's a need to, like, I'm on a need to know basis.

Exactly.

But like, you know, like, I feel

strong.

I feel like not strong.

I feel strong.

I feel like I have let my condition, because I haven't been walking or doing anything.

But overall, I feel good, though, other than the sting now.

I feel really good.

So

I don't know if, like,

I don't know.

That's why I'm like, I need to go back.

But I got to go back.

Yeah, you got to go back.

I'm going.

I am going.

I told my wife I would call tomorrow and see and let them know and see.

They may be like, give you a prescription for maybe some more antibiotics.

Sure.

They may just be like, call us back in three weeks, see how it is then.

Yeah.

I know, but it's like,

it's a mountain now.

It feels like I'm climbing a mountain again.

Well, try to look at it like this, bud.

Like, you're really going down the other side of the mountain.

That's all.

All this is normal.

Yeah, the operation was the summit, and now there's like some of the after effects that obviously from the chat rooms are, it's normal to feel this way.

It sucks.

You know what, though?

You told me, like, I want to just, you know, at a certain point when I was feeling so down, I was like,

I just want to be that dude on the mountain green boots.

Just leave me here.

Leave me alone.

Just leave me here to just, whatever happens, happens.

I just want to be left here and I don't need to do anything else.

I don't need to go out of the house anymore.

This is my existence.

Just leave me alone.

Just everybody calling me and going with the making appointments for doctors and this.

I just want to put my green boots on and

fucking

die on the mountain.

Like not literally die, but just die off to the rest of the world and just be alone in my house and with the dogs watching Mod Squad.

Where did you see him Mod Squad?

It's on the Me TV Plus.

Oh, right.

Episode.

I mean, Channel 240 on cable.

Did you, during all this, keep in touch with Giddam or Giddam was in the park?

No.

He never asked me about anything.

He never inquired, so I didn't tell him.

Did he ask you?

Giddam.

Did Gidham ask me?

No.

Brian Nichelle asked me.

Yeah, Brian Nischell was like,

he was a constant texting me.

I felt bad.

Eventually, I did answer him, but I didn't answer anybody because I didn't put my phone, I didn't keep my phone next to him.

So I didn't want to blow you up, you know, because I'm like, because I knew that I would have a million emails.

I knew that I would have some texts, and I don't have good answers right now.

I don't want to like, and I don't really, yeah, I was just in a depressed statement.

I figured I'd go through Brian rather than

checking in with him

because I know you well enough.

Yeah, I was really like as depressed as I've ever been in my entire life is when I thought I was done.

And this was just this, the stinging got more and more and more as the days went on.

Yeah.

Making me realize like, I'm not done.

There's more to this.

I thought I'd be done and I'm not.

Now, my question, too, is, what did you think of the painkillers?

I didn't take them.

You never took them?

I didn't take them.

I took half of one one day and I didn't feel good.

And that's just it.

And I never took them.

And I threw them out.

You have them left, though.

I threw them out.

Damn.

Michelle told me I made the right decision.

Michelle said that?

Yeah.

I didn't really, like I said, like there was pain

after the operation, like standing up.

Yeah.

Like when the anesthesia really wears off.

Because I stood up and like there was like these two ladies that came by to like rehabilitate me for like 30 minutes before I go home to make sure I could stand up and walk.

Yeah.

And the way I stood up and walked, they were like, wow.

You know, you're like, you're like,

Yeah, I feel great.

I said, I feel fine.

Like, I don't feel any pain.

Whoo, the next morning, though, and all, and all that nosthia's out of your body, those holes in my stomach were really hurting.

And it makes you not want to do anything.

Like, the last thing I wanted to, like, I felt like I don't want to go into the, to hear the office.

I don't want to talk to anybody.

And I'm like, well, what am I doing in my life?

Am I doing anything?

Like, should, like, is this going to, like, is it enough to just come to the office and podcast or should I I be doing more?

But then I stay home.

I'm like, well, I just want to stay home.

I'm not doing anything at home either, though.

Just watching TV.

Yeah.

So I don't know.

It's just like

a fucking endless cycle of like,

just being upset and not being in a good state of mind.

It's a

it's a it's a terrible

uncomfortable

shitty time.

But like now, you know, knock wood, most of it is over.

Most of it's in the the rear view, which is great.

And then like Q said, probably what they're going to say is like, the stinging's normal.

Some people, it's going to take a little longer than others for it to wear off, but you're doing great.

I don't know if it's too dark, but you know what?

So fuck, I just couldn't stop thinking about it was, it's so fucked up.

It's like, if I was to not make it like on the operating table, it's like you have to face that utterly alone.

Like there is no real like

someone's there with you.

It's like you're there all alone.

But, like, at least when you come into the world, you're like, your mother's there to, like, kind of hold your hand and everything.

But

that is like, you're just all by yourself.

There is nobody there else to like help you.

What do you mean?

When they knock you out?

Yeah, because you don't know if you're going to get back up again.

You don't know if you're going to wake up again.

There's no guarantee you're going to wake up again.

Sure.

You know, and that was terrible.

And this is coming from an again, my mind is not a normal mind in these sort of things.

Obviously, I have a fear of a lot of things.

And one of them was doctors.

And

so I irrationally, like, I'm like, am I going to make it through this operation?

Right.

It was probably 99.9% chance I was going to make it.

This is the most basic operation this guy probably does.

I remember the name of it.

It was called Simple Something.

Simple with a P was the name of the operation.

And the nurse goes, but there's nothing simple about it.

You didn't have to tell me that.

You kind of kept that to yourself.

I'd be doing that thing where she wants to make them seem better than they are.

Maybe it was just a comment on his chart.

They think he's simple.

I don't have to do it with the opposite.

But that feeling of like, oh, am I going to make it through this?

You know, it's not, it's not, it's irrational.

I know it is, but I couldn't stop it, though, for some reason.

Like, I couldn't stop that ball from rolling downhill where, and it just like

it was like haunting for, like I said, between the hours of like my wife would go to bed to like two in the morning.

It's just like you're by yourself.

You're just fucking flipping it over in your head, like all the scenarios, all the things that could go wrong.

What's wrong with me?

What caused this?

Is it going to be

like diminished life after that?

Like just you just put yourself through that ringer of uncertainty.

Yeah.

And it's awful.

Any

promises or changes?

You're like, if I get through this, gonna do this?

Yeah, I mean, of course.

I mean,

talk to God constantly, like, I'm gonna be a really good person.

I was like, I'm pretty good, though.

I said, Disco, right?

God, how much more do you want from me, motherfucker?

I mean, I'm like, I'm pretty good, right?

Like, you know, but I was like, I'm going to be,

I don't know, just all these crazy promises.

I'll be more woke.

All these crazy things and promises and like deals and like

just

all those things that just come from like

that feeling of like

something's not right.

And there's no denying something's not right.

You can't fucking ignore it.

Right.

Because if I could have, I would have.

See any changes going forward?

I don't know.

I don't know.

It remains to be seen.

Like, what am I going to do?

Like, probably I'll settle back into

my old way of living.

Yeah.

But right now, I don't know.

I don't have the ambition right now to really do much.

I don't know why.

You know what I mean?

It's kind of like a crash.

Well, it's a recovery phase.

I mean, I'm sure they must have mentioned that, that like there's that during the recovery, there could be a crash of

upset.

Where you're down and shit.

Yeah, because I don't.

I shouldn't be down, though.

I mean,

they fixed it.

A lot of stress, you were in the back of that.

Yeah, that affects.

Anxiety.

Yeah.

All of that weighs heavily on a person.

And then it just came like almost like it just like fucking cram cunt came crashing down and i just was like

i don't want to do anything i don't feel like doing anything i don't feel like talking to anybody i don't feel like

seeing anybody i just didn't want to do anything except just sit on the couch and you were depressed my friend yeah for a little bit

yeah sorry to hear it it's hard to think of you that way walt well i mean i thank you yeah but I wish it wasn't the case.

Obviously, I really wish it didn't happen.

Like I said, it felt like an expiration date just expired

and everything went kablooey.

Old white bread flaming right on almost as if on

schedule.

Right.

You know, my birthday, 55, everything expired, and there's no guarantees anymore.

It's over for me.

Yeah.

There were some good signs, though.

Like, I, even, you know, even with

the catheter, yeah, in the morning, I would wake up with.

Oh, yeah.

Yeah, that made me, that gave me hope.

Thanks.

It's nice.

Like, even with all that pain and all that discomfort, I still had, I still, those sexy dreams could fucking

make it work.

And I was socially like, woke up and I was like, holy shit.

They would like raised up around the cat.

Go in a fucking deb like a fucking Frankenstein monster with the catheter hanging out.

Come to me.

My brain.

Nobody wants to see it.

I didn't show.

But what they wanted me to do for my on the Christmas break because I'm going home and people.

And they wanted me to carry it almost like this suitcase

instead of like a, instead of this like discreet bag that you strapped here.

You're like, don't even put this fucking plastic suitcase that I would just carry around with that would be, that would hold my, it was plastic see-through.

So you would see like

urine.

Like, God almighty, who designed this stuff?

And I was like, she's like, do you want this?

And she's like, this will, this will do.

You'll have, you won't have to empty it as much.

And I'm like, yeah, but it's a fucking suitcase of urine.

Yeah, everybody can see it.

I go,

I don't want my family to see that.

I didn't tell anybody that I like that what I'm dealing with.

I'd rather them not know.

And if this, they see this on the fucking couch or fucking sitting on the dining room table,

it's going to be hard to pretend that everything's okay.

And she was like, it's not a suitcase.

And I was like, I know it's not a suitcase.

I apologize.

I didn't mean it that way.

But just give me the old one I had.

That's fine.

I don't want

to.

Not the old one that I had on before the operation, but one like it.

Yeah, because

it was weird.

It looked like as if somebody put a handcuff to a briefcase.

Yeah, but it was instead of to my wrist, it was handcuffed to my dick, a suitcase of urine that I couldn't control.

So I could just be sitting there talking to somebody, and they could see it fill up

as I were talking to them.

And it's not even like normal urine.

It's fucking blood volume.

Dark and shit.

They're like, I don't want that.

I go, if it was fucking black or it looked like a suitcase, I go, even then I might be like, okay, if it looks like a briefcase, but this is a see-through.

I could look like an important businessman.

That's some enfeebled 55-year-old.

This is completely transparent plastic suitcase.

I said, I don't.

Who says yes to it?

Well, you know, what it is is because

it allows you to not have to wake up during the night like I did.

Like,

I set my phone to go off at

5 a.m.

every morning just so I knew that I would have no problems

with filling up too much.

With that fucking suitcase, you can go like three days without emptying it because it was so huge.

Why is it clear?

Because I want to be able to see it.

Yeah, put it in a sack or something.

Yeah, camouflage it somehow.

But I'm like, yeah, but it's still like, I got to get up at some point.

You're walking around the house with a blanket over your hand and something underneath it.

Girls are like, what's that?

Yeah.

They would notice, for sure.

They would notice.

Yeah, definitely.

Oh, my God.

Yeah, that's what I've been dealing with.

But hopefully 2023 goes a little bit.

I don't even need it to go better.

Just not so much pain.

Not so much doctoring shit.

Yeah.

But, I mean,

I'm at the stage in my life, though, where that's a hard.

That's a hard thing to happen, you know.

I think as you get older, it's more likely you're going to have to see more doctors.

Yeah, it's more expected.

You're like, well, I'm fucking 70.

I'm 75, you're whatever.

And then you're like, this is just the way it goes.

For you, the experience is a little premature.

I did feel, yeah, but you know what?

I did feel a little like,

it did feel a little like, it was a little bit of a pick-me-up when all the nurses were like, you're too, you're so young.

You're not even 55.

You're a kid.

Because

you're in your 40s.

I was like, no, I'm 55.

And she goes,

that's crazy,

like that you're having this operation because you look so young.

Like, on one hand, I'm like, okay, it's a compliment.

On the other hand, I'm like, what the fuck is wrong with me then?

I've got the body of an 80-year-old.

I heard the doctor told me, he goes, like, he said,

do you have, what's your father's situation?

I was like, I don't know.

What about your grandfather?

I go, I don't know.

He goes, it could just be in the family.

He goes, it should just be hereditary that, you know, you guys had, would have problems with this.

Right.

You don't know.

Damn.

Wow.

Yeah, you don't, yeah, if you can can avoid it, yeah, it's not like anything but fucking

anything but the cock

and eye.

I took that fucking cock for granted.

I was like, it'll never go fuck.

Nothing would steer me wrong, that cock.

Yeah.

Well, now you're back at it, man.

You're going to have to make up for lost time.

I'm scared.

Yeah.

Yeah, I'm really scared.

What if, like, because they said nothing for 90 days afterwards, so that'll that'll be like 180 days.

When you go back to the original, like when I had to stop, and I'm like, what's it going to feel like?

Like, that's the longest you've gone since high school.

Yeah, like when I finally like, you know, let loose, will it be painful?

And like, or maybe, maybe I just not let loose.

Or you become like Peter North with these fucking giant loads and shit all over the place.

Maybe I just get to the edge and then just like, you know what?

Yeah.

Well, you start edging.

Keep it all in right people keep all that it's sacred yeah don't don't spill it for don't spill that seed for no good reason right yeah there's no need to spill maybe once or twice a year oof

what a rough run man

yeah that's bad i um i guess it could be worse though my wife keeps telling me it could be worse she's right it could always be worse it could be worse so i got to be grateful that it because it could be worse right there's some guy out there that got the news that you were hoping not to get you know Yeah.

So it's

really like, I don't even know.

I don't even know what new.

Like I said, there's been no news.

So I'm like, it's got to be by now.

They would have let you know by now.

And I heard, like I said, in my haze, I heard them talking to my wife, and they said all the tests came back negative.

I'm like, could they have done the test that quick?

I mean, it depends on what tests they were.

So I heard her say that, though.

And I said, was she talking to you?

And she goes, yeah.

And I go, well, that's a good sign.

All the tests came back negative.

I don't know.

Who knows?

I'm just like, the last thing I want to hear, though, is from a doctor.

So,

yeah, I don't know.

Wow, man.

What a harrowing adventure.

Adventure is not a good word.

Yeah, really.

Tobacco.

Well, I'm sure, though, that like once you put on the paper gown, they were like, damn.

Are those meundis?

I haven't worn underwear.

I got this the first time

in a long time that I'm able to wear underwear.

Oh, right.

I got Miundis on Pizza Meondays.

It has been like...

Well, I got them, yeah.

Yeah, it has been so long because you couldn't wear underwear.

You had to go commando.

Yeah.

Yeah.

So some good came out of it.

How are you going to change your life in 2023?

Well, that remains to be seen.

It's super stressful, but it's a new year.

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Plus, get free standard shipping and free returns when you go to meundis.com/slash T-E-S-D.

Walt is

back in his Miundis.

We're glad to hear that.

Yeah, it feels good to be back in the Miundis.

It's all I was hoping for the whole time.

I was just like, gosh, I'm like, they're back in my undies.

I'm addicted to my meundies.

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So, and if you're not impressed with Miundis, to get your first pairs on the house, that's a promise.

So, to get 20% off your first order and U.S.

free shipping, go to to meundis.com slash T-E-S-D.

That's meundis.com slash T-E-S-D.

And, Q, I believe you have to skedaddle or are you okay for that?

I'm probably good till 7.

Oh, it's good till 7?

Okay.

Well, I got to get to Newark by 7.30, right?

That'll.

Okay, because.

Oh, okay.

I'm sorry.

No, I don't.

I took up the whole time with.

Oh, my God.

All I wanted to hear was about this.

Definitely.

Can I do a quick ad, too?

I didn't run it by our ad

head of ads.

I'll probably hear about it, but go ahead.

I got us the hookup at a comic book store.

Oh, yeah?

Okay.

I got us a hookup where, you know, like, I got us the

great hookup, big discounts.

And

it's a store in Illinois called Tim's Corner Comics.

Tim's Corner Comics.

Yeah.

And I've actually done some artwork for Tim.

I designed a t-shirt for him to make up for him offering all these great deals to me.

I figured, like, is there something I can do

to

maybe recoup, maybe even feel like I'm part of the team.

I'm on the

employee.

And I was like, how about if I design a shirt for you and you sell it to your comic book store?

Wow.

Are you getting a taste of that?

No, it's just

to keep

the books that I want to order coming in and hooking me up.

And in return, I'm helping him out a little bit.

What books are you ordering?

All the Marvel Masterworks and Omnibus that I buy and everything.

But

this is the, I don't know if you ever, if you remember this design cue, in the 80s.

Remember Forbidden Planet?

Fribben?

Forbidden.

Oh, of course, Forbidden Planet.

In New York.

Well, they had this shirt done by Brian Boland that always struck me, and I loved it.

So I designed a shirt for him based off that old 80s Forbidden Planet design.

And there's two people in the image that you might think you might recognize.

All right.

So on the left is mine.

Oh shit.

Well, the Boland one I'm looking at right away.

I remember that.

That's great.

Wow.

Did you slip me and Brian in there?

Yep.

Did you?

Look at this, man.

Wow, dude, this is great.

I actually like yours better than Boland, and I love Boland.

Thank you.

Check that out, man.

There's a little Norse guy there, and there's a little like

little Herculean cat man.

I look like the, yeah, it looks like the Liver King.

Who's the Liver King?

He's He's a guy who

was like one of these health nut guys.

He's like super built.

He wears like a wolf head.

Really?

Like ripped, like you can't believe.

And he said that like he got this bill by eating raw liver and all this other weird shit.

And he had the raw liver diet.

And then he was just recently exposed to spending like 11 grand a month on steroids.

So liver really didn't do it.

Liver didn't do it for him.

So I will post the image

at Sunday, Jeff, on the the Twitter so people can see what the image looks like.

And if you would like to order a shirt from Tim, you can go to Facebook for Tim's Corner Comics, or you can send him an email

at,

damn, I thought I had a,

or you can call him at 309-794-0333.

He doesn't have a website yet, which would have been helpful.

Yeah.

What are you waiting on, Tim?

Fuck, bro.

It's 2023, son.

His email is Tim'sCornercomics at gmail.com.

There is no apostrophe after the

M, though, in Tim.

So it's all one word, Tim's Corner Comics.

I'll put all that information, though,

in the tweet.

And the subject matter, you can just put TSD, he's asked.

And it's

$25 for the shirt in a small to 2X and 27 in 3XL to 5XL.

It'll be $5 shipping.

That's so so cool, man.

So, yeah, I'm trying to help.

I'm trying to help.

His name is Jared.

He purchased Tim's Comics.

I think they've been there for actually decades.

40 years, it says.

Yeah, decades.

So, this is a new owner, and he's an ant, big-time ant.

Great, cool.

Send us some shirts, man.

I'll wear them.

Yeah, he did send me some shirts.

I got them.

Oh, you got them already?

Yeah.

Oh, great.

But I wanted to be able, I just wanted to show you the side-by-side.

We have it here.

I could, I mean, we're shooting like five more days of impractical joking.

I could wear it during one of those.

Okay.

All right.

Cool.

All right.

So, like I said, I know they didn't run that by our ad

manager, but

she might

trap shut.

Tell her that

for medical reasons, I totally forgot.

I had a break.

I totally forgot it.

I feel bad, though, because I wanted to do it before Christmas, but we never had a chance to meet before Christmas.

And if there's anything else you're looking for, you know, you're looking for a certain back issue or a certain book that you can't find, maybe Tim has it.

Go to Tim.

Yeah, call him up at 309-794-0333, and I'll post an image when this episode drops.

Very nice.

Very quickly, I got my own two little things or promote.

I was on two podcasts during this break from Space Monkeys.

Tell him Steve Dave.

One is called The Creep Off that I was on with my friend Carl and Vinny Paulino.

And I got to tell you, it's fun to do.

It's like what they do is like you bring a guy who you think is a creep,

and you sort of battle it out to see who, like, you know, to see who's the creepiest of the three.

You bring a creep.

I bring, like, you know, I look up a guy that I think is

not bringing like someone to the studio.

No, no, no, no.

No, you just bring it to the table and you're like, here's my creep.

Now, I personally think that I was robbed.

I came in third.

It was

Andy Dick.

It was this other guy.

I can't remember his name.

And then my guy was a dude down in Florida who was caught with

nude pictures of his stepdaughter, and then his stepdaughter killed him.

So he was the creep.

He was like this mild-mannered butterfly farmer.

Okay.

Vinny's was Andy Dick, who you know his exploits.

And Carl's was some guy who like killed and dismembered a kid or something, which to me, and this is my argument to these guys, and to the whole audience of the creep-off, I might add, that is beyond creepy.

Yeah, that's like psychopathic.

Okay, I agree.

That's not really creepy.

Yeah, there was never really any,

there's no, they don't define creep.

They don't have a hard

outline definition of creep.

So I lost.

I came in third.

First time ever.

So

I need to return to the show.

Because what's creepier than taking pictures of your stepdaughter?

Your stepdaughter, yeah, and she saw them on

her, on his laptop.

It was like, I guess he's like, he was in his 60s or something.

Not only did he have a folder, but it was like on his screensaver, you know, like

it pops up with different pictures.

And she was at his house, and she sees her own picture come up naked.

And they were pictures.

And this is what they were never clear about was

how he got these pictures because they were pictures that were taken 10 years earlier by an ex-boyfriend of hers, or he was in possession of them.

Yeah.

And they never really, they never really

pointed out or.

I mean, that's the definition of creepy.

Yeah.

That's what I said.

That's creepy.

Creepy is not like, oh, there's a baby.

Let me cut its fucking arms and legs off.

So you lost.

I lost.

But next time I'm going to go in, I'm going to, I'll make something up.

I'll make up a guy.

And then our own Brian Rupert reviewing history podcast I did with him, and you can find that on what's that about?

That's about Midnight Express.

They do different movies.

They do movies based on historical events.

Historical events,

which then you learn that, like, like with Midnight Express, I always just, like, it's so stupid.

I watched the movie, and I'm like, hey, that's the way it happened.

But then, like, you read more into it.

Like, I read the book.

I watched a documentary.

I watched an interview with the actual guy.

It did not happen.

It wasn't so full as laughs.

Yeah, right.

And the best part, the tit pressing, never actually even happened.

God damn it.

Yeah, I know.

Shit.

Yeah.

I was on his podcast.

What movie did you do?

I did a movie called Invincible with Mark Wahlberg.

Oh, that's right.

He is a football movie.

That's another one that was bullshit, right?

Oh, it was total bullshit.

It was a Walt Disney movie, so you know, it was fucking they really played up the

underdog, you know, becoming a champion and everything.

Right.

It was complete and utter bullshit.

Fun to do though, the Pacta.

Yeah, it was really fun.

I had a good time doing it.

Q.

Yeah.

You were down

visiting your parents over Christmas.

Sure was.

In a place called the Villages, which is the biggest retirement community in the state, if not the country.

I mean, probably the country.

Right.

When you were there, did your mom have a golf cart?

Oh, yeah.

Now, did you?

Do they own it or rent it?

No, I bought it from when they moved down there.

But I don't think people rent them generally.

They own them.

When you were there, did you happen to notice a loofah hanging off her?

No, but I already know this.

You know this already.

Oh, I know all about it.

I had no idea.

And I'm sure there are other people out there who don't know either.

Yeah.

This is brought to my attention by Gidam: that

I guess they'll hang it outside their house.

Well, I heard the car door handles.

Car door handles.

That's what you said.

Car door handles or their golf carts.

And it's kind of a spin on, like, remember the bracelets that girls used, they would say, like, oh, if a girl's wearing like a blowjob bracelet.

Yeah, a blowjob bracelet, or she'll do anal if it's pink or fucking or brown, I would assume.

The loofah code when visiting the village's Florida's friendliest hometown.

Okay, so

this is all about sex.

All right.

So

if you have a white loofah hanging off your golf cart,

that's for novices and beginners.

Purple, voyeurs and people who like to watch, which is the same thing, I think.

Sure.

Pink, soft swap.

People who like to do it with others in the room.

Yellow, mid-level swap, for those who want to have fun but are still nervous.

I don't know what that means.

Maybe you just want to fuck your own wife in a room with other people fucking their wives.

Well, that would be the soft swap, wouldn't it?

The pink, people who like to do it with others in the room.

Yeah, so what's this one?

Yellow is mid-level swap for those who want to have fun but are still nervous.

You got to ease into it a little bit.

All right.

Yeah, like maybe a little bit of feeling up and that kind of thing.

Black, full swap.

Those who say, what the hell, let it all go down.

And then there's teal, bisexual for those who want to increase their dating chances.

And I don't know why that strikes me as being like when I think of like a bisexual 80-year-old.

It's just like, it's a strange thing.

Yeah, it's a strange thing.

There's one more, too, that that list is missing.

What is it?

I don't remember the color, but it's if you're a single person willing to join another couple.

Oh, so you don't have a significant other who died or you got divorced.

Like, there's a specific color for, like, well, I'm solo, but I'm up for whatever.

Right.

Yeah.

So, if you're you're you move to the villages, what color loofah am I seeing hanging from your golf cart?

Black.

Black?

You're down?

Oh, you mine?

I think my parents.

Oh, uh.

Mom, why'd you ask black loofah for Christmas?

No, there was this

there was this bar in the uh

one of the parts of the villages called Katie Bells.

It's gone now.

They demolished it, unfortunately.

But if you wore gold-colored sneakers into Katie Bells, like when they were the villages is great, because like they start partying at five, they're all in bed by ten.

So like you, it's like great.

It's like awesome.

Yeah, me and my brother did a lot of drinking down there.

We heard a lot of stories, but uh he and uh so you would go to Katie Bells, you'd wear the silver or gold sneakers and uh that meant you were down to fuck that night well this makes total sense though i don't know why you were surprised by this behavior these are people that grew up in the 70s they are way more freer and way more sexually

um

un un oppressed you know so it makes sense that like as they get into their later stages that like you know but the generation of free love is like hey yeah i mean these are not like people that grew up in the 40s or they were

they are they're they're they're their prime years of sexually

seventies and sixties.

So like

the yeah, this is not a shock to me at all.

I know you were like like

I was blown away.

I couldn't believe it.

I fucking had to pilly you off the fucking backs of this.

I told you about this.

I was on Amazon shopping for Luffis.

They all drink down.

They go to the like it's it's like it's like a cruise ship or a college.

Dude, what will the villages be like in 2040 as people who grow up now with no fucking

shame there is nothing that like you know they don't do on camera you know and post on tick tock so like you know what will it be like at the at the uh at the

what's it called the place the uh the villages the villages yeah it'll be sodom and fucking gomorrah yeah there's a book about it already i read called Pleasureville all about this and how they all do drugs and like and fuck because they all get the good painkillers and shit right yeah well it's a lot of weed a lot of weed down there now yeah I guess Florida's been coming down on painkillers in the past 10 years or so.

Oh, I don't know.

Yeah, I just know that

it's a place known for its actual.

My parents didn't know that when they moved down there.

Or at least that's what they told me.

But yeah, it's a hell of a reputation down there.

But there will be no

game playing with Lufas with that, with the generation going up now.

It'll be full out, like, you know, posted right on the fucking front door.

Yeah.

You know, a giant poster.

Christmas lights.

I'll say, come fuck.

Yeah, wow.

I never thought about that.

That's pretty,

that's pretty weird.

Yeah, I mean.

I'm hoping we're not to see that.

Oh, okay.

Now, did your parents, is it a condo that they own?

No, it's houses.

I mean, they do have some areas of the house.

So they're renting?

No, they bought the house.

I mean, there's a chance you could

inherit and move down there.

In your golden years, you could go move there then.

Oh, I had a house down there.

I just sold it, actually.

In the villages, yeah.

In the villages?

Yeah.

It was

because I bought it so cheap and the prices were so fucking high that I was like,

I'll sleep on my mother's couch.

No, I do like it down there.

I enjoy it when I go down there.

Maybe not for six days, but there's something to that golf cart life, man.

Just zipping around and the neighborhood's so clean and nice, and there's no trouble.

No troublemakers?

There's no troublemakers, really.

I would think there would be some Karens and shit down there, like old people.

Oh, yeah, that's by nature

I'm not sure if I can do them.

Yeah.

Yeah, somebody yelled at me and my brother while we were down there.

Some woman comes up to me.

So my brother's got this awesome beagle, right?

It's about a year old.

His name's Benjamin.

Right, go figure.

So we go down there and we're in the thing, and I'm wearing my dad.

I gave my dad a fire department shirt, a jacket years ago, right?

And it just says, Jim, it has my fire department number in the back.

And it was cold down there.

It was 30 degrees down there while I was down there, 40 degrees.

Wait, I didn't bring a jacket, so I put on my dad's jacket, and I go to the dog park with my brother, and it's nine in the morning.

A woman comes up to me, and she's like,

How old are you?

You retired from the fire department?

That's how you know.

And I go, Yeah, I go, I'm 46.

I go, Yeah, you know, I don't want to go into it.

I go, Yeah, I retired.

You only got to do 20 years, and you can retire.

And she goes, Oh, she goes, I thought it might have been because of the vaccine.

And I go, What do you, what do you mean?

And she goes, I heard that they were, that they were, that they were putting, that they were putting out

they were making people quit if they wouldn't take the shot.

I took the shot because my friends were all being weird about it, but I'll never get another one again.

Like, this is all the first 15 seconds.

I'm like, no, I go, I said, I got the vaccine.

It didn't really bother me.

And she goes, oh, I could tell.

I could tell.

You look like a Democrat.

She goes,

Did you notice my loofah?

Come on, let's go.

It's even weirder.

I go, I go, I don't know.

You know,

I have been a Democrat.

I go, I'll vote both ways.

She goes, Did you vote for Trump?

And I go, look, I was like, you know, now I'm laughing.

I go, you know, I didn't vote for Trump.

She goes, well, how's that working out for you, sugar lips?

And then she storms off.

And I turn to my brother Jimmy and I was like, they're all fucking crazy down here.

They're all fucking nuts.

Like, she just came up to pick a fight with me, either get on my side and bitch with me or pick a fight with me.

It was the weirdest thing.

Yeah, if they're not fucking, there's nothing to do.

Yeah.

Nobody Nobody

was fucking this skillet face like that.

Like, oh,

she was not a good-looking old lady.

I got yelled at on my way here today.

Yeah.

One of my least favorite groups of people, a fucking crossing guard.

Oh, you don't like that fake authority?

I can't stand it.

And she fucking exercised it.

Like, you know, I'm coming down from the house and there's the school on the corner there.

And it's like, just when I'm coming here, it's just as school's letting out.

So, you know, I'm going 25.

Yeah.

I'm going slow.

And she like looks, she looks down the road both ways, you know, and then she steps out with her stop sign.

And I'm like, okay, she's going to cross some people.

So I stop, but like, I'm rolling to a stop.

I'm not going to fucking slam my brakes on.

And she like stops in the middle of the fucking street, holding up her stop sign.

And she's like, screams it.

I mean, screams it.

She's like, I said stop.

I can't tell you how much I wanted to get out of the car, rip the fucking stop sign out of her hand and just fucking wing it across the fucking street.

But I didn't.

I just rolled down the window and I know, I know what a goddamn stop sign means.

And then she like turned to yell at me again.

I just took off,

but I was like, These fucking crossing guards, man.

But this one's in, like, you could, you could prank superstar this woman.

I could see her again tomorrow.

You got to get, uh, would Mary Beth be willing to like drive down the road with a top off and shit like that?

Like, like, just get her head in your lap and like just roll up.

I was just like, oh, you want me to stop now?

With a tit downstairs?

I think that that would be a hard sell.

I recently have a grudge against a crossing guard down the street, Mary Beth.

I'm going to need you to take your shirt off.

Well, some girls are going to pretend to perform oral sex.

Some girls are kind of like loosey-goosey with that stuff.

I think,

all right.

She has a couple glasses of Proseco.

Yeah.

And there's no students around.

I think it's the students.

Oh, well, I would assume no students.

Yeah, you don't want to do that in front of the students.

Like, what do you think of this?

I think she would be so confused.

What's that?

I'll ask Mary Beth.

Yeah, I'll see what she says.

I'll ask her in all seriousness.

I'll be like, this is what I need you to do.

I'll be like, because I have tinted windows.

I'll just roll down the windows a little bit, and she'll see your topless, and I'll give her the finger, and then we'll drive away.

I'm going to leave her completely and utterly confused.

Yeah, I'm not so sure.

That's like this great

prank superstar.

I don't know the mind.

I've been laid up for

a couple months.

I maybe added a prank superstar game.

You'll get back into it.

Don't worry.

Well, she already thinks that you're an asshole.

So now if we could think you're a degenerate, too, like we could just keep building on top of it.

And then the next time, I'll go with you with my shirt off.

Yeah, I think, I think, yeah, I think that's a little bit better.

She might even recognize you, which would be really fucked up.

Like, tell no one shit.

Like, we both have our shirts off.

Yeah.

I put the windows down, then slowly put them back out.

Are you sure you want me to stop with all these kids around?

Oh, I didn't know there were kids around, but I guess that makes sense for a crossing guard.

But oh my god, the way she fought her face scrunched up.

She's cursing in front of kids and stuff like that.

No, you don't.

No, I cursed in front of the kids.

Yeah.

That makes more sense.

I was watching these, like, I guess they're videos for people with ADD.

They're like only 30 seconds long, and you just swipe them on YouTube.

Yeah, yeah.

I saw crossing guards, oh, man.

They do fucking some heroic shit, though.

Sometimes I saw a crossing guard save a kid from being hit by the bag.

How many crossing guards I seen save kids because fucking assholes fucking didn't stop?

I know.

I've seen it.

There was that time that.

As if they're incredulous

after they save a kid and

the crossing guards just looking at them and they're just kind of like looking at them with that face on.

I can't believe that guy didn't stop.

Like they really didn't stop.

They just blew right through the crossing.

Yeah, like I tell you, like as I was stopping, I could not have been going more than five miles an hour i was slowing to a stop

sweet she turned and screamed at me i'm like bitch like you could hear it on my my uh my dash cam i'm sure i'm like who the fuck do you think you're screaming at like you know this is to me and my you know yelling to myself in my car those videos are

they're bad for society those 30-second videos yeah because i just discovered them when i was laid up and i went for like fucking three hours just going

yep it's so easy and i and i would like and i was so like in a bad state of mind i was fucking getting so

emotionally upset because I watch all these videos of these dogs being reunited with their owners after years.

They make you.

Do you cry when you watch this?

I start welling up and crying.

I'm like, damn, you gotta watch this video.

Well, this dog recognized his master after five years.

They always do.

And they go crazy.

Oh, it's like heartbreaking.

You know that they're.

The military ones where they come back from Iraq or something.

There's one where a guy had, I'm sure you could find it, you've probably already seen it, where a guy he weighed, all these numbers are wrong, but he weighed like 300 pounds, and he had like an emergency surgery, and he was in the hospital for two months.

And when he came back, he was like 150 pounds.

And you see, the dog,

he can't, he can't figure it out at first.

He's like kind of freaked out, and then the second he realizes who it is, the dog just explodes with joy.

And I subscribe,

but those videos can really fuck your day up, man, because you're just like, next thing you know, it's like, you know, it's you start it.

Yeah, you start it at two in the afternoon and it's fucking nine o'clock at night.

Yeah.

You got to watch seven hours.

You got to watch the compilations of car crashes.

No.

And then sit there and judge all the assholes.

There's nothing you love more than a good gravel truck collapse.

You love it when a gravel truck collapse.

Oh my God.

Look at all that gravel on their car.

There's no way they survived that.

There was one, the darkest one I think I ever saw was was

it was

almost universally in China for some reason, but it's like this roundabout and this car is about to enter the roundabout and this

gravel truck is coming around too fast and it overturns.

That's insane.

It's weird.

It overturns and you hear the lady scream and then you hear like

all the gravel raining down on the car and then the screaming stops.

Oh no.

That was one that was like,

that was the worst one I ever saw.

That was a bad one.

But a lot of times, yeah, it's just like you could barely laugh at that one.

It was so bad.

Yeah, I mean, not nearly as hysterical as the rest, but

that was a rough one.

Yeah.

I don't know why they're always so fucking like the load is just not like lined up correctly, that these fucking things are constantly overturning.

But there's like you watch like work fails, that kind of shit, like, you know,

you know, fail, fail, gag, all these different channels.

And like, when it's when it's construction, construction fails it's almost always in like an asian country i think their standards or their their rules and regulations are a little softer than they are here in the states and maybe some more developed countries

got a roll cue

yeah you know i got probably 10 more minutes so we've got to unless you guys want to wrap it up i don't know whatever you guys want

any more ads or just no no more ads just meundies this week did you do anything good for new year's uh sat there and listened to the fucking fireworks i didn't do anything i was not in a good mood.

Yeah, I woke up at 12:04.

I was like, oh, shit, I guess I missed it.

Back to back.

I was at Sal's.

It was very small.

It was me and

Sal and

four other people.

Yeah.

I probably wouldn't have done anything if it wasn't for.

We've been burning a candle at both ends lately, so I'm like, any night off, I'm happy to do it.

But it ended up being a good night.

Yeah, I think I was just watching TV.

Yeah.

I grew,

I didn't mention this, Waltz, but I grew a weed weed plant in my yard this summer.

Marijuana.

Marijuana.

You could do that legally now.

Yeah, it got seven feet high.

I harvested it, and now I'm giving it out to people.

And it's like,

what are you thinking?

Don't you worry that people will see it

and then scale the wall and

not on one plant.

I'm not too worried about that.

You've been to his neighborhood, right?

But that's like jacking the beanstalk shit.

It's getting

Bowser.

It's like to the to the fucking ceiling.

But like now, I harvested it.

I dried it out.

I cured it.

I did all the work.

But now I'm giving it away as gifts.

So I was able to bring some on New Year's Eve

and I really made the party.

You didn't give me a full report?

I did give you a full report.

I stripped away the sugar leaves.

Yeah.

And it is smooth.

Yeah.

And it is a very mild but nice

feeling.

Yeah.

Good, good.

Euphoric.

Yeah,

he did a good job growing it.

Yeah, I was like,

is this the first time that you've first time did it on a whim?

Just did it on a whim.

And yeah, maybe.

So you think you

could

go into that industry when the TV.

I've actually already got an offer to do it, and I turned it down.

I was like, I don't think that's on brand, but thank you.

Oh, I'm talking about when it's over.

Oh, when it's over?

Yeah, possibly the rules.

EQs.

RNH RNH weed.

No, I have a name and everything.

I'm getting t-shirts made up, but I just want to get the website before I tell everybody what the name is.

Oh, you really are going to do this?

For fun.

Oh, okay.

Yeah.

Yeah.

I'm just giving it to my friends and stuff like that.

But also, it's fucking 20 mason jars I got off the street.

I just worry, though.

Fucking insane.

The neighborhood, like the, if it gets around, though, that may think you're like a major dealer.

And you're like a cartel leader.

I'm giving my neighborhood.

But a rival

weed grower could be.

Oh, he might like shoot up Q's house.

No,

it's one.

It's one.

Tommy gun.

No, I don't think so.

He suggested that

I try it in my backyard.

Because I have bamboo in the backyard, and that fucking grows like crazy.

Yeah, you have sun, you have sun.

I have sun.

Yeah, I have a lot of sun in the backyard.

I have a sunglassed spot.

That's what I learned.

And fuck, man, it was a lot of fun.

And I was saying, like,

you know, I come from farmers.

I come from Italian hillbillies.

So, you know,

this is me getting back to my roots.

You know what I'm saying?

Well, how much farming did it take to grow this okay good that's a fair question uh i put it in a planter it grew to a certain height then i repotted it probably three times okay but you don't go out and water it or put it no every day oh every day you went every day i went out and watered it and then when it was in the pots i moved as the sun moved across my yard to it like i'm gonna smoke you one day i did i did talk to it actually smoke you you're gonna make me feel so good this neighbor is supposed to be like he talks to squirrels he talks to plants

my neighbors love me because now i give him a fucking mason jars of weed.

I'm like, here you go, bud.

What am I going to do with this?

Yeah.

I was shocked at the amount that came off that one plant.

It was fucking crazy, dude.

Are most people able to grow it to the height you grew it to?

Are you like that much of a green thumb that like you're the you got the biggest Dr.

Green thumb?

Well, I bought the biggest vine in all of Staten Island.

No, because then I talked to a guy that I know

He works for the city of New York.

I don't want to say through who.

And he's like, oh, yeah.

And he pulled up pictures of what's going on in his garage with just a grow light, and he put mine to fucking shame.

It looked like the Garden of Eden in his garage.

Giant, giant fucking weed plants.

That gets dangerous, though, when it's indoors because then they start noticing the electric consumption, and that's when you get in trouble.

You're allowed to have five plants in New York City now.

So

the work that I had to do for one was too much.

Yeah.

You repotted it three times.

I'm exhausted.

No, I talked to it.

It's not that.

It's when you trim it, like when you dry it and stuff, and then the trimming.

You mean to actually get use out of it?

There's a lot more work.

Yeah, growing it's the easy part.

Yeah, but to actually do it.

How'd you learn it, YouTube?

Or did you know people?

I knew people in Vegas that worked professionally with it, so I sent them emails and got back.

But it was so easy.

Yeah.

So easy, dude.

Yeah.

Your backyard gets a lot of sun.

My yard gets a lot of water, though.

It's always flooded.

And plus, yeah, I'm not throwing M.

J.

in my backyard.

I don't want Cooper and Sox to be fucking

rolling around.

You know, they go out and eat grass, you know, every once in a while when they're not feeling good.

I don't think it works if they're eating that kind of grass.

No, before Benjamin Cat went, he was he loved it.

He loved the smell off the plant and stuff like that.

Yeah, he would go over to it and sniff it when I would take him for his walks and stuff like that.

They probably know that it, like, it that it has those capabilities to like kill pain and everything, right?

Maybe.

I don't know.

But anyway, so that's

how did that come up?

Yeah, I don't know why.

Yeah, you just that you're growing pot now.

Weird segue.

That was a segue.

I don't know.

Tell him, Steve.

Too stoned, I don't know.