#538: Kids in Satan’s Service

Just run me over.

Go ahead.

I know you want to.

I just feel so sorry for Edgar.

He should just shut his fucking mouth because he's not funny.

Your homophobic jokes are way more light, like, you know.

They're heartwarming.

They would make anybody feel better.

Tell him, Steve, Dave.

Hello, and welcome to this week's edition of Tell Him Steve Dave.

I am here with Walt, and I am here with Frank5.

That's right, no BQ this week.

He's off gallivanting, doing Thanksgiving-related stuff.

I think he got his

hand stuck off of Turkey's asshole trying to get the apple, so he won't be in.

And I feel like, Frank, today I feel like we're operating with a low-energy Walt Flanagan.

Is that true?

Well, I mean, it's, you know, it's as you get older, it's harder to get to, you know, get the tryptophan out of your system after, you know,

gouging on turkey for two straight days you know the leftovers that's where it is so it's it's hitting you oh yeah i had like so much turkey even before i got here today

you had turkey before you oh yeah really yeah i've been eating the leftovers and everything like so yeah i'm all i'm all tryptophaned out that's that's the name of the chemical right yeah yeah yeah yeah so

let's meet yeah it's all right so let's bring the energy you're bringing energy up frank it's infectious me

looking at me to bring any energy up

we were doing a podcast just before we started this and fell asleep during it.

Well, I wasn't on it.

You were not in.

It's not like I was recording or fell asleep.

Yeah,

that sounds really weird.

Yeah, it sounds bad for you.

Yeah.

He really can't handle his turkey.

Turkey for you.

I was sending it.

I wasn't, I just was, I didn't even realize I fell asleep.

I was just on my phone.

The next thing I know,

you know, people are nudging me.

And I'll just be like, wake up, Busy.

Yeah, so how was your Thanksgiving?

Was it nice and smooth?

Nice and quiet.

Yeah.

Very quiet.

Had turkey, of course, and mashed potatoes and

all the steak.

Yeah.

Yeah.

That's all you need.

Those are the three

Pepsi?

Pepsi, yes.

I had Pepsi this year.

Why?

I don't know.

The wife just brought home Pepsi, and it was a nice change of pace.

Hadn't had it in a while.

There you go.

What about you, Frank?

No Pepsi for you.

You're looking down your nose at Walt for drinking Pepsi.

Yeah, I'm surprised.

I like Coke.

I like Coke.

But we did, we went to my aunt's house.

This was the first year that we didn't have to go to multiple houses.

So we just had to go to one house, and it was nice because we got to stay the entire time and didn't have to rush to go to a different place.

So it was a lot of fun.

It was a callback to the old Thanksgivings because we had so many people.

At my aunt's house, there were like 20 people.

So we had a kids' table, and then we had a medium kids' table, and then an older person table.

And it was nice to see the little kids running around the house screaming and so on.

You like that?

Yeah.

Now, what were the tables again?

The little kids' table.

Yeah.

And then we had the middle kids' table.

Yeah.

And then the adult table.

They said there were three different ages for the adults.

Young adults,

middle-aged adults, and old adults.

No, we didn't have that many.

Nine tables in the fucking house.

I made the adult table this year, so that was nice.

Just the first year?

No, no, I've done it.

Let's see.

After a couple of relatives died a couple of years ago, I got fucked up.

That's the only way.

That was the only way we moved up.

They didn't just leave the seat empty.

No,

as you imagine, I'm still at the kids' table in its empty chair over there.

And by we, I mean pretty much Mary Beth hosted for the first time

this year,

and she made a lot.

Like it was only, it was me, Mary Beth, Sage,

Pam and Edgar, my sister, Darren and his girlfriend, and then eventually my nephew and his girlfriend showed up.

So it was really only eight people the whole time, but she made food for like 18, I would say.

So we have a lot of shit.

So people didn't take it home with them.

Nobody would take anything home.

I thought for sure, like my nephew, because he lives with, he is like, literally, I'm not exaggerating, he's like, what, six roommates or something like that?

Six roommates, he lives down in Asbury Park.

So I'm like, well, they must need food and shit, you know?

But they're like, no, no, we got our Thanksgiving coming up Saturday, so we don't even have any room in the refrigerator.

You know, Pam and Edgar are old, so they're not going to really eat that much.

He can't handle the tryptophan either at this point, at this stage of his life?

I don't think so, because all he wanted to do was leave.

He got there around, like, I mean, and in fairness to him, it was kind of late.

He got there around one o'clock,

and we needed a TV hung.

So him and he and Darren, my brother Darren,

got them to work, and they put up the TV.

And he hung around for a little while, and then by, you know, we ate.

And I think by six o'clock, he was like, Look, I'm out.

It's still a gave five hours.

I think it was fine, but Pam was giving him such a hard time about leaving.

Yeah, how much more time do you need?

Do you need this dad need to put in?

I mean, at this point.

And he's like, I don't fucking feel well.

He's like, I don't feel well, you know?

But then Pam is like, she's so weird.

Like, she

drinks wine for the shit called Proseco.

She's big into it.

Is it a new thing?

Drinking?

Yeah.

No, no.

No.

She's drank for years.

Not to excess, but like on holidays and shit, it seems like, or if like there's a gathering, it seems like she doesn't know her limit.

So like this is one of those occasions where like I can tell she's drinking too much because she and my sister start bickering over like the stupidest shit.

Like they were arguing at one point over.

My sister being annoyed that

she was forced to paint her room yellow when she was young.

Like, you know, in grade school or whatever.

Meanwhile, the house is so small, my parents were sleeping on a fucking fold-out couch because we had like four people and only three bedrooms.

So, like, I got a bedroom, my sister got a bedroom, and then Eric and Darren shared a bedroom.

And then my parents slept on a fold-out couch for years.

No mention of that, just a mention of the fucking color not being to her liking.

But, like, shit like that, like little petty, bitter shit from fucking years ago.

It seems like those two always.

And you think it's the wine that brings that out?

Oh, in vino veritas, as the Latins say?

Yes.

I don't speak Latin, what is that?

From wine comes truth.

Oh, that's what it's truth, though.

Yeah.

Oh, yeah.

I think it's all truth.

I think they're all resentments and shit.

I was like, I wish they would just shut up.

Like, I wish they would just stop fucking arguing about the most meaningful.

I believe that they think it's funny.

They think it's entertaining.

Really entertaining.

Pry looks bored.

Let's argue.

Yeah, no.

I don't think it's me.

I think like

Edgar,

who are they putting this show on for?

Yeah, I don't.

I mean, probably Mary Beth would be like, since she's new, she's newer.

I think that the...

She wasn't allowed to leave.

She's like, it's the hens party in here.

Oh, she wasn't allowed to leave the kitchen.

Well, she's trying to

make dinner.

And my mother

has asked so many times, like, is there anything I can do?

Is there anything I can do?

And she's like, she's fucking 76 now.

She's like very hunched over.

She's like one of those hunched over old ladies now.

So it's like, no, just sit down, relax, like have your hen party, drink your fucking wine, argue about paint color, whatever the fuck it is you're going to do.

Just, you know, stay out of the kitchen.

And I, like, I'm doing stuff.

I'm trying to help out Mary Beth because we have like the dining room where Mary Beth went all fancy and set out like those.

Like, you know, in a buffet, they have those silver chafing dishes, things like that.

They have the fire underneath and keeps it stirred hot.

How many buffets do you think I attend?

That's true.

But you know what I'm talking about.

No, I don't.

You ever saw one?

What's it like?

Those chafing dishes, like those silver trays.

Oh, yeah.

They put like a little like.

They put a little candle.

Yeah, okay.

All right.

I thought you were talking like real silver.

Oh, no, no.

Fancy.

Yeah,

the china and the silver.

The buffet flat.

So like all that stuff is out.

I'm trying to set up the water to heat up the water to fucking keep all the shit hot, all that stuff.

And I keep going back into the kitchen.

And Pan is like in the, you you know the way the kitchen is set up there's like the little dining area type place and then there's like the with the sink and all that area pam will not stop going over by marybeth who's trying to cut up beans and shit she won't stop going over there and like basically i dude when i tell you she was

10 to 12 inches away talking to marybeth while she's like she has her cornered and she's like just rattling on and on and on about like this amazon package she got but like they said they delivered it but they didn't really deliver it it.

So she called and complained.

And then she goes on to say how they delivered it the second time.

And it wasn't UPS or FedEx.

The Amazon people brought it

and just going on and on and on.

I'm laughing because I think it's funny watching Mary Beth try to deal with all this shit.

But then when it comes time for Edgar to leave, it's like he's been there five hours, which I think is fine.

He's like, look, I want to get out of here.

Pam doesn't want to leave.

She wants to keep partying and hanging out with Darren.

And like, she's far more so.

Can't somebody bring mom home and let dad go that seemed to be the easy solution right that's what was that's what was suggested at first yeah I'll take I'll drive mom home go ahead Edgar go go home Rhett go you know do whatever you're gonna do and I'll bring her home later right so that's did that and not go over that that's what was suggested and that's what was worked out eventually but Pam can't just say like yeah that's a good idea you want to go home yeah I want to hang out you know we've been together for fucking 50 years it's enough already she's got to be the martyr she's got to be the martyr.

She's got to be like,

yeah, but then I feel bad.

Because what if he needs something?

Can you imagine

how awful it'll be if Edgar gets a couple hours

of peace and quiet?

Without the phone listening to the fucking hengarden?

That's what he's thankful for.

Can you imagine that if he had just maybe two or three hours of not having someone in his ear?

I think he was imagining it.

He was at at least trying to fucking imagine it, but it wasn't happening.

And then, so, like, it's finally Pam agrees.

Finally, we talk to her, you know, like, talk her into it.

And then, what's up?

You missed her.

It's like, you missed her.

Edgar, like, was getting his coat, and then she grabbed her coat, and then she's, you know, has that like pissy face and is like, do you want me to leave, or can I stay?

To me, like, oh my God.

She's getting so over-dramatic.

She runs out and like lays down in the driveway so Edgar can't leave.

I protest.

Just run me over.

Go ahead.

I know you want to.

Might as well.

Yeah.

So it's finally, so she, like, of course, Mary Beth is going to be like, well, we want you to stay.

Just stay.

Like, just stop being such a fucking dramatic baby about it and just stay.

So she finally decides she's going to stay.

And then Edgar has to say, he's like, well, I guess I'll just go home alone then.

Now he's breaking balls.

but he, in 50 years, he hasn't figured out Pam is

a fucking kindred soul.

If Pam were a guy, she'd be Mike Zepsick.

All right.

She can't take it.

She just, in fact, Mike is far better at taking it.

I just feel so sorry for Edgar.

That analogy has just got to turn.

I did not expect that.

Yeah, that's a weird, that's a curveball in itself.

itself.

But then she starts, like, you can see her face.

It's like, it's not like good-natured ball busting or like, well, have a good time at home or like, whatever, nothing like that.

It's one of like, like, anger.

It's like rage that she's so mad that she finally made this decision and then

he fucking.

Said how he really feels or whatever, which he, I know he doesn't, but he should just shut his fucking mouth because he's not funny.

You know, he's not funny either.

Well, it sounds like the Johnsons are trying, like, they get in a room and they got to fucking perform.

It's like

gladiator style, whoever's left on top.

It's like, like,

wish you were coming home with me.

I hate that yellow room I have in America.

I got an Amazon package that didn't come.

It's like dueling Johnson's.

Yeah, Pam will will give you every possible detail that you never needed to know, including that the package went missing.

It just happened that they were talking about stick vacs.

Did the package ever show up?

Package eventually showed up, yeah.

And then she went into detail about how it showed up and who brought it and all this other bullshit.

How it was filled with yellow paint for the bedroom.

Yeah, so that was, and then they wouldn't leave.

You know, like, I mean, I don't know how.

Did you host Thanksgiving, Walt?

Yeah,

they wouldn't, they wouldn't leave.

Like, I figure nine o'clock.

You started at one.

Nine o'clock is

a that's a strong, long eight hours, but then you fucking add in booze.

So we don't have that for everybody.

Nobody drinks except for me, I think.

I didn't drink any.

Oh, you didn't drink any either?

Oh, okay.

So for me and Mary Beth didn't drink, but everybody else did, including Sage.

She was wasted.

But it was what held them back: the booze and the hot tub.

Nobody wanted to leave.

They're all hanging around, having a good time, drinking it up, and fucking.

Well, yeah, I mean, yeah, we don't have hot tubs or booze and a flanagan Thanksgiving.

You know, it's

a Bible and a

talking of pilgrims.

We thank our Lord for our turkey and our mashed potatoes, and we don't go into any hedonism in the hot tub.

No.

No.

I hope that didn't happen at our house.

It was Darren and Tracy.

It was in the hot tub.

I mean, well, there's some real Puritan families who'd be like, oh, if the whole family was in the hot tub?

Yeah.

They'd be like, that's like, you know, that would be like, that'd be the talk, the buzz of some small towns.

Yeah.

You know?

Yeah.

No, this was, I think the most people in at one time were three.

It was just Darren, Tracy, and Siege at one point.

Because it's a weird, like, the way you get in is not conducive to old people stuff.

Like, Edgar's just no fucking way he's going in.

He doesn't care.

Pam probably would have if she wasn't so hobbled and shit, you know, crippled and such.

And we had a conversation.

Really, it actually made me think of you, Walt, because it was one of those things where I'm like, I can just imagine Walt being like, you don't remember this?

Like, what, what's wrong with you?

Not that you would remember it.

But I asked Edgar, I was like, why don't you get hearing aids?

Like, the guy can't hear.

And in one ear, we may need to to do a charity pod because he was like, in one ear, he was like, the only thing they said, they said the only thing that would work would be a cochlear implant.

Yeah.

Did we do them for every other

little kid?

Why don't we start doing them for 78-year-olds?

I can't hear either, just so you know.

All right.

Frank five, you'll get one.

You'll get one.

Everybody's like Oprah.

Everybody gets an implant.

All around.

Everybody gets an implant.

Yeah.

I'm like, why don't you get a hearing aid?

He's like, well, the one will you know that I need the implant, the other one, like he sort of like trailed off.

He just doesn't want want to do it.

He goes, and he goes, he goes, I tried.

And I go, what do you mean you tried?

He goes, when, he goes, when you were young.

He's been hard of hearing since you were.

Not only has he been hard of hearing since he was in his early 30s, but he wore hearing aids for a while.

And I have no recollection.

Absolutely zero.

Back then in the 70s, they probably look like Volkswagens on the other side.

That's what he said.

They were so big on both his ears.

That's why he didn't like them.

They were so big.

But I was like,

it made me think of you because it was one of those things where

I feel like you would be amazed.

Like, you don't remember your father having hearing aids?

Like, what?

Like, how do you?

Because I remember such weird shit a lot of times, but like, there's a gap that I'm like, I have absolutely zero recovery.

I bet you wore him like once or twice and probably took him off constantly.

Yeah, that's what Darren was saying.

Like, he was like, oh, I wore him for years.

I'm like, I don't, do you ever remember seeing him in fucking hearing aids?

Because I sure don't.

And it's like, that's really, it's kind of, it's surprising in one aspect because

at this point, though,

I guess it's all about vanity.

He's just like, I don't want to look like I need hearing aids.

You know, which is

whenever somebody says something to us, I know I sound like I need hearing aids.

But is he worried that Pam is going to look like he's going to look like an older man for Pam?

Right.

Yeah, I don't think she constantly is like, get him, too.

Like, I just,

I just want to know, like, what's the upshot to not being able to hear?

Well,

I can tell you.

Certain holidays, yes.

Maybe he doesn't need to hear about the Amazon package that went missing.

Oh, you should hear about it anyway.

He's going to hear about it.

It'll be muffled, but he's going to hear about it.

Yeah, so that was pretty much Thanksgiving.

Mary Beth made extra work for me by taking a doorknob off the bathroom and putting it onto it.

Like, she wanted to switch the doorknobs.

This house has the shittiest doors and doorknobs.

I think, like, they built the house, and then they're like, oh, my God, we only have $3 left for doors and doorknobs.

Like, that's the way it's going to be.

So, she tried to switch out the doorknob for the guest room and the bathroom because the bathroom doorknob didn't lock.

And she's a whole big thing about locking bathrooms.

Which I say, like, if a bathroom door is closed, that's as good as locked, pretty much, right?

Yeah, most people don't walk right in without going, like, without knocking.

Yeah, Sage in the house.

That's a little different.

But I also make the argument that.

You guys guys are fucking, your guys are like bathing together.

So

what's wrong with seeing somebody poop?

But I say I say, yeah, even if somebody does walk in on you, it's like all they're doing is coming in to do the exact same thing that you're doing.

So why is everyone so embarrassed about all this?

You know, I mean, I see

if it's an extra, I'm not saying like leave the door open, but

save me a little work.

And whatever you do, like when you are switching the doorknobs or attempting to, don't lock the one doorknob in the fucking guest room where I can't get at it.

So, you've only had really, though, you only had one non-Johnson there.

Everybody's married.

That doesn't have Johnson blood.

Everyone's married, or but just Darren's not married, right?

Darren's not married.

No, he's just dating.

Oh, just

like I would have.

But he never misses a chance to remind her that he calls Darren and be like, hey, just tell your girlfriend, just use the bathroom before she gets here because only Johnson's can use the bathroom.

Right.

It doesn't matter if I see.

It's a long story.

yeah, that would have been a good idea, but I didn't think of that.

So, yeah, that was uh, that was pretty much Thanksgiving, it wasn't so bad, but after the aftermath of all the fucking dishes and shit, oh my god,

so you gotta do all that, huh?

Yeah, I don't have, I don't get roped into all that shit, no, no, well, so far I haven't done any dishes, so I haven't gotten roped into it yet.

So, if I can just like hold out for like one or two more dishwasher loads, I'm probably gonna be safe.

Yeah, there you go, yeah,

almost, this was almost not a Frank V episode, Frank Five.

This was almost a Blue October episode.

Blue October is a rock band that Mary Beth obsesses over.

Oh, okay.

And they were in town, and she contacted the guys, and it looked for a minute like there was going to be an interview situation.

But then later on, when we saw them, it turned out that their tour bus was late or something, so they weren't able to come in.

They said, next time, though.

Oh, nice.

So if you're a Blue October fan, that will be a celebrity interview in the distant future at some point.

Just another reason for people to dislike that I'm sitting here.

Yeah, like, oh, that could have been Blue October.

Fuck, we had to hear him again.

But anyway, so

for our anniversary, I got her tickets to this Blue October concert over at the Count Basie in Red Bank.

And almost immediately, the tickets were not good enough.

There was a meet-and-greet, which I was not aware of.

So she immediately went on the, the, it's called the, uh, the sound check experience or something like that.

The sound check experience, which the sound check was one song, which incidentally they played in their regular set anyway.

So I didn't really consider that to be like an added bonus.

But

so the way it works is you, you know, when you go to these meet and greet, and I had never been to one before, I had never been like a part of like a fan meet and greet type situation, unless you know there were fans of mine.

I don't mind.

No, I mean, like, this is the first time I was on the other side of the meet and greet experience.

And the way they did it was there's a QA, then they play their song, and then you take pictures.

And it made me, as I'm sitting there, I'm realizing like fandom is all the same, like all the same stuff that people say to us, like, you know, you saved my life or like, I went through a hard time or like any number of things that people say to us, you know, for the podcast, they're saying the exact same things.

So I mean, right?

Like exact.

And I'm like, wow, it's weird.

It's like, there's fandoms, but it's like, ultimately, they're just people.

They're all just people that have latched on to like, for some reason, this blue lyric, this blue October lyric spoke to them over, you know, some racist homophobic joke that I made.

So that's why they're a blue October fan.

I can't believe that.

Your homophobic jokes are way more like, you know.

They're heartwarming.

Right.

They would make anybody feel better to me.

No matter how upset or

rotten things are, you know.

No matter how many shootings at gay bars there are,

if I can throw out a nice, solid gay joke, it makes the world a better place.

Tell one now,

like, you know, like,

give everybody a post-Thanksgiving Mike and Ming joke

to make everyone feel a little better.

Because, you know, the holidays are stressful.

It's like Thanksgiving, people dread it, you know, because they go.

They don't want to go see their, some people don't want to chill out with their family for eight hours.

Right.

So maybe they need to.

And possibly walk in them on the bathroom.

Yeah, like, yeah, exactly.

You got one to help lighten the mood for those who didn't have a great Thanksgiving?

It's going to come up during the show, don't worry.

Okay.

It has to be organic.

Something's going to have to trigger something in my mind that I'll be like, they're gay.

I thought though, I thought them in the bathroom or.

Oh, if they came over for Thanksgiving?

Yeah.

Oh, and they're in the hot tub together.

And I'm like, boys, I specifically require bathing suits.

I'm not going to tell you again.

Ming, you're down.

Did Ming drown or

is Mike just smiling

for no reason?

I've got a million of them, ladies and gentlemen.

So anyway, so

yeah, exactly.

So we're at the

people are asking the questions, but before they even ask the questions,

there's three rows of people.

The first three rows are what's

the sound check experience.

That's how many people signed up or whatever.

And he looks down and he says, you know, I'm in the second row, but there's a, you know, there's a row ahead of us.

And he says, oh, nice beard, sir.

And the guy in front of me, who has a beard, is like, oh, thanks.

And starts like rubbing his beard.

But it's like not

really a long beard.

It's like short.

It's like more.

He doesn't know who's behind him.

He doesn't know who's behind him.

And the guy goes, and he wasn't even polite about it, I want to say.

He was like, he goes, not you.

He's like him behind you.

He's like, you're a handsome man.

He goes, I love your beard and blah, blah, blah.

The second time I've been called out on stage, can remember the first time at the Stone Pony.

So is this Blue October or with Mike and Ming be big fans of them?

No.

They're giving you a compliment.

No, they're more worried about what you look like than at any groupies or anything.

Well, the groupies look like, I said it seemed to be like when I looked around the theater, you know, when they were actually playing the show, I feel like it's mostly,

it appeared to me anyway to mostly be lesbians and women and women in their like 50s and into their 60s.

Like this is, I turned to her at one point and I was like, I really hope these guys aren't in it for the chicks because

they're all like in their early 40s, these dudes.

And it's just like, but their fan base.

Well, they've been around since probably they're doing it since their 20s.

Yes.

Yeah, they did that, done that, it's over.

Yeah, and I think Mary Beth said that like the fan base is known as like emo parents.

Like they were the parents.

Does the fan base have a nickname like Swifties?

and i don't know do they they sort of call them the blue family the blue family yeah

the blue balls

who came up with that was that blue family yeah

yeah the blue family no um

yeah i heard like the guy's daughter's name is blue like they're very centered around he's always singing about being blue You know, he's like singing about being depressed.

Although recently, this is the question I wanted to ask him, but I'm like, I don't know.

Maybe it'll throw him because I actually did have a good question, I thought, which was like because now he found God and he's all positive and he's not on drugs anymore because he was like a meth addict for a while and he lost his kid and he's got a whole story

now that you're positive do you feel like you've lost your edge in terms of songwriting because like the latest album wasn't like the most well-received I don't think what is all is that also you got to factor in is it like do they cross over the threshold of like most bands who

nobody cares about their new material.

It's like well, he acknowledged that.

He acknowledged that

during the Q ⁇ A, where he said, like, he can't stand, he can't stand bands that only want to play their new stuff.

He's like, people are there because they're fans of shit, of like your library.

And you know which songs people like.

You know which songs people want to hear.

You know which ones they're like, eh.

So he's like, you know, you play a couple of your older ones, you shoehorn in a new one.

Play some older ones, shoehorn in a new one.

And that fucking formula worked to the tune of two fucking hours.

Holy shit.

The show starts at eight, right?

And there's this other band on called the

Beatnik Bandits, which I'm just like, I'm not going to like these guys.

You know, like, that's the way I go into every concert where I'm like, I don't want to see the opening bands.

No, no.

Armored Saint was the same way with Walt.

We were both like, ah, you know,

we would have been okay missing the opening band.

But ultimately, I was like, ah, they're not that bad.

They're like, they were okay.

I didn't mind listening to them for like a little little while.

But then I think they went on for like 45 minutes.

Then it was like a 45-minute breakdown, set up, blah, blah, blah, all that shit.

And that took us to like,

probably like 9 o'clock.

Like maybe like it took us to about 9 o'clock.

They played for two straight hours, dude.

And it felt like

their money's worth.

I think I stood up for two songs.

Otherwise, and there was this big fat lady dancing next to me.

It wasn't Mary Beth, it was a fat lady I'm talking about.

It was some other lady who just would not stop

dancing into me.

And then she starts leaning on me.

And she, I'm telling you, she was not a small woman.

She could have been kneecover.

She was leaning on me.

Yeah, and I got to the point where I'm like, I'm just going to go wait in the fucking lobby.

Like, what the fuck?

I had to stand up.

I had to stand up so she wouldn't literally just sit down.

So that's why you stood up?

That's the only reason I stood up, yeah, because she was knocking into me.

And Mary Beth is, like I said, she's real into this band.

So she's dancing and going crazy and singing and crying at one point there's he's like because he'll do these breakdowns where he talks about shit he'll be like yeah so this was this one time that this happened and blah blah blah and he'll tell some heartstring story and like i look at her to be like isn't this gay and she's crying

so yeah she didn't she didn't agree with that

so while she's a lot of stuff you don't get up and dance or any of that you just stay seated no and i'm not i'm not like woof like with my arms crossed it's just like the music just doesn't like.

There's a couple songs that I actually like, but it doesn't, it doesn't speak to me, and it certainly doesn't speak to me in the way that like it speaks to her.

You know, she's been into him since what, you were like 12 or something like that.

You were pretty young, right?

Yeah,

yeah, and it's like her family band, like her dad's into it, her mom's into it, her brother's into it.

At the wedding, remember when she danced with her dad to a fucking eight-minute song?

It was Blue October.

But I did thank the dude.

And I said, whatever you do, never stop touring because he's made it so like anytime there's an anniversary or a birthday or Christmas, if they're around, that's so easy just to get those tickets and know, know it's going to be a huge hit.

When I went to see Chicago, they actually apologized for playing new material.

Did they really?

Yeah.

And they actually, I know, they're like, we're going to play something off our new album.

It's coming out.

It's like a Christmas album.

It's the middle of summer, and they're going to play uh a song about christmas and what they and they actually apologized to the crowd because i i guess they felt them like the energy in the crowd kind of just like like a like air out of a balloon a little bit was that the band i can't imagine the energy at a chicago show is that high to begin with exactly was that the band that played the video in the background that looked like it was um yeah like yeah

like they got stuck of uh photography you know on corbus

and like they've like they're singing about a lighthouse so you just get a you'd see a picture of a lighthouse so they didn't apologize for that no no whoever whoever designed their stage show yeah should be

should be put put to rest all right and you know find a new find a new guy to design your stage show because it was brutal

yeah but so she's uh like i said so she's dancing and she's singing and she's crying and she's she's going nuts and at the end of the show or i'm sorry during the um

during the q a he mentioned that the band would be signing after

the show now this is a fucking 1,200-seat theater, Frank Five.

And you know, the way people are, fans are.

They line up.

Yep.

And so she looks at me and I'm like, oh my God.

Like, we already got a fucking signed poster by everybody.

She's going to want to do this, Jesus.

Yeah, didn't you get it signed at the meet and greet?

Yeah, it was already signed.

There was a pre-signed poster.

You didn't see anybody sign it.

Didn't see it.

Yeah.

Evidently, that matters.

No.

But I could tell she wanted to do it, but by the end of the concert, she was all hot.

She's like, I feel sick.

Like, I feel really hot and I feel sick.

And we, like, we, and we were like, we got thrown out of the theater because she was resting in one of the chairs, and some old lady was like,

You guys got to go.

She was wearing boots and dancing for hours on end.

Did you know you were going to dance?

Yeah, I, yeah.

Why wear your heels?

It was a date night, and I thought I could do it.

I did it.

I did wear them all the way home.

Yeah, she did wear them all the way home, but I would be lying.

I know she's sitting here right now, but I'm going to be honest, because that's the way we do it on Tell Home Steve Dave.

There was a huge part of me that hoped that she just felt sick enough

that she'd be like, I'm not going to line up for fucking, what would have been three hours?

I mean, it looked like every motherfucker in that theater got in line afterwards to like, and I'm like, if he's anything like Kevin, and he does seem to be like Kevin in terms of like,

he's so good with people.

No, but he's like the dude.

The one guy gets most of the attention though?

Yes.

He's the songwriter.

He's the singer.

The guy who gets the second amount of attention, the second most attention is a violin player.

Yeah, like there's a violin, like a full-time violin player in the band.

I can only name one other violin player, Charlie Daniels.

Kansas, too.

They play some violin players.

You can't name that to his name.

Oh, no.

Yeah, I can name, yeah, I've ever seen violin players

during videos and everything, but nobody can name those people.

Charlie Daniels, yeah, the only

guy I know.

Well, that was a fiddle.

Is that the same thing?

I don't know.

There's a fiddle in Highlander Sam.

So

turned out she felt a little bit too ill and wanted to just go outside.

Perfect.

Yeah.

It worked out.

I have to admit, I was blue October out by that point.

We had been doing it since 5.

It was now 11.

Yeah, it was now 11 o'clock.

So I had been blue October in for six hours.

It was almost the equivalent of Thanksgiving.

Yeah, pretty much.

Pretty much.

Then I started bitching about the color of my room when I was younger.

Frank Five, let me ask you a question that I'm sure you know the answer to.

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Everybody loves getting new underwear for the holidays.

You're right.

All right.

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What are you saying, Walt?

I was going to say, Miundis changed the way the nation feels about receiving underwear for the holidays because, you know, growing up, nobody wanted underwear.

Yeah, or like socks.

Right, but I mean, Miundis literally, you know, turned that around.

And now, you know, kids, you know, they'll get a PlayStation.

They'll just be like, fuck this.

Where's the underwear?

Yeah, where's the Miundi?

Right?

I ordered booty shorts.

I ordered a Miundi onesies.

I don't want this other shit.

I don't want an Oculus.

No.

While all those things are nice, they're not like you can only enjoy those things for so many hours per day.

Myundis, you could have them on for so long and you're going to be like, God damn, this is the best gift I ever got, or the wisest decision I ever made to buy these things.

We're never going to run out.

I sweat.

Your sweater?

Do you consider yourself on a scale of one to 10 a sweater?

He's got to be.

Remember when he was playing ping pong and he was stinking up the whole joint?

I wasn't stealing.

We don't know who the culprit was for that.

You don't sweat, so I know it's not you.

We're too in here.

First of all, I want to blame the air conditioning situation.

Well, we don't have air conditioning, so you can't blame it.

But I would say, I mean, I sweat.

I don't

know.

On a one to ten?

I sweat like a normal person, which is five.

Okay.

Six.

You put on this micro-model.

I would love to try me underwear.

And it soaks it up,

and it also has odor-free fabric.

Really?

Yeah, so like you'll become a two

in your underwear region.

I could use that because this morning it's a little bit.

Like the rest of the area, the rest of the area is still going to remain a five, but those nether regions down there will become a twos.

All right, I'll do that.

What happened today with the

hotel and Mary was putting my underwear away and she was like, it smells smelling.

She gagged.

It smells.

Actually, what she said was, this smells like cool.

Did you play ping pong?

No, we didn't.

It smells like coolie.

Wow.

Were they clean?

No, I had worn them all day.

Well, of course.

What's your expectation?

And why are you smelling them?

I know.

I I don't have

the microfiber.

That's right.

You don't have the meundis.

That's right.

They wouldn't have smelled.

She would have been like, did you wear these yet, Frank?

And she would have been like, she would have had them halfway up her nostrils

trying to find a whiff, some sort of proof that you had them on your body.

She would have died because she stuffed them in her mouth, not because they smelled so bad.

For her birthday.

I will definitely try them then, and we'll give it the smell test later.

You want to try it because they're awesome.

They really are.

A lot of people, I see it all the time on Twitter.

People will be like, I tried meundis, and they're the fucking bomb.

The bomb diggity sometimes they even say.

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That's meundies.com slash T-E-S-D.

How's that for a goddamn spot, woman?

Thank you.

There you go.

Alex sent me this article, Walt.

I'm curious to see what you think.

There's an F, you know, you had girls that

went to school.

They went to Catholic school for some of the time, but then they went to public school.

Now, parents slam school sick Satan club for children as young as five.

California Elementary School is facing backlash from parents after promoting an after-school Satan club aimed at kids as young as five years old.

That is a tad young.

Think five is too young?

Yeah, even I would be outraged.

Like, literally, though, if I saw a satanic club

and my girls were five,

yeah, there would be,

you know, not to be cute, but there'd be hell to pay.

Yeah.

Yeah,

that doesn't belong anywhere near a five-year-old.

It's not to be confused with the Church of Satan.

It's the Satanic Temple.

I know that they had like the, they went through a lawsuit with the Baphomet statue and all that crap for a little while.

The Satanic Temple does not advocate for religion in schools.

However, once religion invades schools, as the good news clubs have, I guess those are like the

Christian ones, the Satanic Temple will fight to ensure that plurality and true religious liberty are respected.

Okay, so this is the group that goes in.

They really don't even believe in Satan.

They're just like, okay, if you're going to promote other religions, then they're just trying to make a point.

They're just trying to be like, okay,

you have this club, this club, this club.

And we don't believe you should have any club.

But if you're going to, okay, now we're going to hold your feet to the fire.

And again, not trying to be cute.

But it's coming across as very cute.

Now you're doing a great job.

But

they're going to point out the hypocrisy of your decisions to promote religion in a public school.

Yeah.

How great is this?

Is that though?

That's the club logo.

That's the club logo.

I'll put it on Twitter.

It's pretty cool.

I mean, yeah, I get it.

What makes you think?

Like, if you're a kid in school and you're part of the after-school satanic club?

Yeah, it kind of reminds me of that Tilly.

Tilly.

Yeah, it does look like Tilly, you're right.

Yeah.

And what does the club offer?

And how many kids are in the club?

That's what I would love to know.

What parent is like, yeah, you can join.

They only take 666 kids.

Yeah, nice.

That felt like trying.

That wasn't cute.

That was a getem level of.

Are you trying to hurt me?

Is that what it is?

The after-school Satan Club organizers feel that the criticism is misplaced as the group does not actually promote Satanism, but rather encourages critical thinking and rationalism.

Now, that's good, right?

We need more of that in this world.

Again, yeah, this doesn't feel as

sinful as one would believe.

Probably it was like one of these headlines that makes everybody click on it.

Right.

But at the end of the day, it probably has nothing to do with like what the real cool shit that's, you know, that Satanism offers.

Right, because if you read like the Satanic Bible, like there's a lot of stuff that you're like, I agree with this.

You know, like versus traditional Christian religion, which is all about like punishing and

denying yourself shit.

And discipline.

And discipline.

Yes, discipline.

But I don't think that

Satanists are necessarily undisciplined either.

It says here, Paul Hicks, a critical thinking professor who will be running the club, seconded that sentiment.

I'm not teaching these kids to be satanic.

I'm not teaching them that they need to hell Satan or identify as Satanists.

What we're doing is we're teaching critical thinking, we're teaching science, we're teaching empathy, and we're teaching benevolence.

There's currently a good news club there, which is teaching kids to go save souls for Jesus.

We want to give it an alternative point of view.

But the bottom line is, you won't change the name of the club, though, because you know what you're doing.

Yeah, they didn't call it the Bible Club or the Jesus Following Club.

They're doing it just to stick a finger in someone's eye to annoy them and to get them, you know, well, critically thinking.

Right.

If they made it the critical thinking club, then they probably wouldn't have gotten any headlines or anything.

Exactly.

Yeah.

Nobody would be doing interviews.

No.

Parents need to give permission before their kids can attend the meetings per a flyer by the Satanic Temple.

Nobody has to engage with it who doesn't want to, and children are going to need permission slips to sign by their parents to have any involvement at all.

So, like, at what age could your girls come to you and be like, hey, dad, we want to join the Satanic Club?

What do you think?

Sign this permission slip.

Even at an advanced age, I'd be like, I don't know if this is a good idea i go you fucking poser

did you see the t-shirts

i go look look who you're talking to it's it's dad you know how much he loves satan yeah all his heavy metal music i go but even i think though that this is just a this is a scam this is a this is just a an exercise that you know for these people to

again, you know, kind of like annoy

the other church or the more religious groups that are meeting after school.

Right.

They know it's going to cause a stir.

Right.

Yeah.

Don't be used by any of them.

The Catholic one, the Jewish one, or the satanic one.

They're all in it for the same thing.

They're all trying to get your money and your soul.

That's what they want.

How is it that they're mostly your money?

Yeah, but the religious club, how could that be in a public school?

Probably they call it the Good News Club, and I guess they just skirt the.

Because, I mean, in school today, can't you do anything?

You can have any kind of club.

You can have like,

well, not any kind of club, but you can have, like, you know, I saw that just recently, I think it was in Pennsylvania, Gettysburg College, they had hung up some flyers.

They're like, are you tired of white cis males?

Then come to our meeting and fucking bitch and moan about them.

Really?

And somebody,

I think that they had to walk it back a little bit.

I think it was a little bit too forward in terms of like hating on white guys.

You know, a club dedicated to that

dedicated to just hating a certain group of people and complaining about them.

Yeah.

I mean, I should see that we're rubbing people the wrong way.

Yeah.

But yeah, Gettysburg Club got closed down.

Any kind of clubs like that where you work?

You know, it's funny.

I was in charge of one club and it like folded.

So I don't even know if we have...

Do we have any clubs like that at school?

Any anti-white guy clubs?

Or any clubs in general?

There isn't a bunch of clubs.

I mean, we have a gaming club, I know.

Wasn't there a ping-pong club you wanted to join?

No, you kept saying to have me join one.

To create it

here.

And you're like, come on, you could do it, even though I'm the only one person.

No, we didn't have a ping pong club.

We were even looking it up online.

So we have a gaming club and we have

psychology, but nothing like crazy, right?

There's a religious club.

Yeah.

They said, I'm just repeating it because there's no possible way anybody can hear you.

But there's not any crazy religious clubs, you said?

Well, I don't, I don't know.

I says there's no crazy clubs.

Don't they go hand in hand?

Like I said, the one club I was in charge of folded, so they keep me awake.

I was like, which one's the crazy one?

They're overseen by the college, is what Miss Vive is saying.

She knows a lot more of what's going on at the college than I do.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Well, we, we, you get it.

I can't even mention it.

It was an episode I just cut of It's All About Frank.

And one of the things that made me laugh so hard was, I mean, it's coming out soon, but top five reasons or top five ways you try to look busy at work.

So that's why I was about to reference one of them, but no one's heard it yet, though.

So that Thanksgiving's over.

Set your sights on Christmas, right?

Yeah.

And is there any better way to do that, Walt, than to go to tellingstevedave.com and pick up some of that Black Friday merchandise that's still around?

Black Friday merchandise is selling steadily, and who knows if it will all be in stock by the time this drops, but go check it out.

There's a pod pal figure, there's a hoodie, and there's a new shirt.

And there's some other older

merchandise on there.

The four-color demon hats are back in stock.

Yeah.

And

some of the old

listener favorites, shirts, the four-color demons, the three heads.

But Christmas, Frank,

what's the number one thing in your Christmas list this year?

You got anything, one item that you told a missage?

You're like, get me this.

No, say, say, meundies.

I love a pair of meundis.

That's a gift that keeps on giving because

after I wear it, she could spell it.

No, you know, it's funny.

We say this all the time.

Like, we've gotten so bad with our relationship.

Let me just spill it out.

Let me just put it out there.

Put it out there, Frank.

It'll make you feel better.

It makes my feel worse, but it'll make you feel better.

No, but it's like we don't buy each other anything.

It's like we do it during the year, and then when the holidays come, we, you know, I'll ask her, I'll say, you don't want me to get anything for you, do you?

And she always says no.

So

does she mean no?

Do you really mean no?

I do.

You do?

Yeah.

Yeah, there's really nothing.

Usually people get to know.

So there's nothing under the tree.

Ms.

Five gets up to the tree.

Christmas.

We're a tree.

Yeah, we decorate a plant.

We don't have a tree.

Decorate a plant, huh?

Yeah.

Jeez.

Got a big fern that we decorate.

This is totally foreign to you.

You're a big Christmas guy.

You love Christmas, right?

Yeah, but it's not for everyone.

I love it.

Don't get me wrong.

That doesn't sound like you love it.

No, not at all.

You can't be bothered to go buy a present for your wife.

She told me something that she wanted.

But that's the thing, though.

It doesn't mean that you have to listen.

All right, so I should.

You could just be like, you know, I'm going to get something.

Go Christmas shopping and buy her something that I think she would like.

Get your ass to the Syracuse Mall.

Make sure you bring your gun.

I don't know.

Is there something that you would want?

Again, though, you're asking.

Well, because I don't know.

I want to do something special.

Do you want to go somewhere

yourself?

He continues to talk to somebody who's not on mic.

I know.

I know.

My apologies.

Let's hash this out now.

I will do that.

You know what?

I'm going to make a promise.

This year, I will buy her a Christmas gift without her knowing what.

That is a good idea, though.

Like, you guys like to travel, like, you plan a little trip for her, yeah, and then you surprise her, you're like, hey, you're not going to work tomorrow, right?

We're going to wherever, we're going to Key West, where we love.

How nice with that, or we're going to, uh, where was the other place you went?

Fucking Nova Scotia,

going to Nova Scotia, we're coming to Hazlitt in the middle of winter.

I am, I'm really close.

I don't know how much it costs, though.

That's the thing.

I don't even want to look at the price tag, but there's a commercial for this football game where

you put the visor on.

But I didn't see any graphics.

It's like this kid laying in bed.

He's like, I want to be the quarterback for the Dallas Cowboys.

I want to lead them to the Super Bowl.

And then so it's like this virtual reality football game.

And I really feel like I'm this close to putting it on my that's the only thing I'm going to get, though.

But I want to put that on my Christmas list.

But I'm terrified, though, that I'll play it once and then I won't be able to play it anymore because it'll get me nauseous.

You'll have to fake it.

Just walk around with it.

Yeah.

Because I tried one of those once and I felt like my stomach was all like out of whack after playing it for a while.

Do they sell it at a regular store or is it just online?

You can go test it out?

I imagine it's at like the Babbage's and the GameStop.

Is that still around Babbage's?

Well, any of the video game stores, you know, the

Upshirt Tech Coles or

Bradley's or two guys.

Bradley's is close, too.

You know what we'll do?

Later on, we'll go to Bradley's and we'll swing by Montgomery Ward, too, just to see if they have it.

Yeah.

And then, real quick, I got to hop and stop in the five and dime.

Warts.

Doing a Kaldor.

I'm sure they got it.

There's so many interesting things, like, I don't know if you would want to sit through the whole thing well, but on YouTube, there's so many interesting

dead malls of America, dead stores of America.

And it's like, you know, you watch it and you try to

see how much of it you can, how many of them you can remember.

you know, because not everything was in this area, so you don't necessarily remember everything.

But like, I did it with my buddy E-Rock on the other show.

I do it with him.

Would you kindly, we went through a bunch of like old restaurants, and it's fucking crazy.

Yeah, that are now defunct.

I mean, it is nuts how many places go under and how quickly.

And then for whatever reason, others, you know, just are able to thrive.

Like, why does Chili's do so well and fucking Ruby Tuesday does not?

You know, like, what's the difference?

Because it's all a numbers game.

And you know what?

Chili's will have their fucking day of judgment.

They will.

It's just inevitable.

There's only a certain amount of years that these places have a shelf life for.

All of them.

Maybe McDonald's.

Right.

I think Burger King may be fucking, you know, you better get to Burger King before they shut her to the place.

Because every time I've been to a Burger King, there's like one fucking worker and there's nobody in the drive-through and there's nobody in the restaurant.

And it's like, how does this place stay open?

They just closed one down nearby us, changed it to a Starbucks.

But I think McDonald's is probably going to be the one

that defies the odds and just isn't, well,

you know, they will remain

till the end of Earth.

They'll be at McDonald's until that last day that

everything ends.

Right.

Yeah, McDonald's will still be here.

What about something like Subway, who technically, I think, they have more franchisees than McDonald's does.

All it takes is

one more Jared scandal.

One more Jared?

I think McDonald's is

scandal-proof, though.

Get out.

I really do.

Yeah, I think they're bulletproof.

Like, they could find out that Ray Kroc had been fucking jerking off in milkshakes.

Yeah, jerking off in milkshakes.

Oh, yeah, because strangling chickens one by one.

Because it was in the 50s.

Nobody alive now is like, you know, like, oh my God, I had a milkshake that Ray Krock had made.

It was like, Pam, you cheated on it.

Except for the flowers.

I knew they weren't, my kids.

Oh, we're the heirs to McDonald's.

I'd be okay with that.

What's the one that has disappeared?

You could bring one back from the dead.

One restaurant.

Oh, wow.

It's sad because there was one restaurant in my mind, but I wouldn't want to bring that back just for the sake of

to be funny.

But

I got mine.

You're the one that you would want to bring back.

I'll reveal if they have to you.

I'm going to say, oh, shit.

You're the reanimator.

I don't know.

Howard Johnson's?

I like Howard Johnson's.

What a fucking lady.

I knew whatever I was doing.

I love French.

That's awesome.

Have a Sambo's.

That is.

Sambo's?

We've got to cut that now.

You should have stuck with your love of clam strips.

Howard Johnson's, what did you eat there?

I had hamburgers.

I had french fries.

In fact, we went to the last.

But where all those things you can get today better than what Hojo's offering.

You asked me which one I would bring.

You put me on the spot.

I'm trying to think of a defunct restaurant of which one I would put that.

I know no matter what I say isn't going to be correct, what?

Hojo's.

Hojo.

All right, well, I'll think of another one while you're coming to me.

I got it.

That's more to your liking.

Sizzler.

I've never been to a Sizzler.

You've never been to a Sizzler?

We didn't have them where we were.

Oh, so that's a solid call.

Yeah.

You're not going to top it.

Apparently, not.

Not with Hojo.

What about Bennigans?

We didn't have that.

Where the fuck fuck did you live in fucking?

You know where I am.

There's nothing there.

Beefsteak Charlie's.

We didn't have that.

I would love to.

What the fuck?

What were the restaurants when you were growing up there then?

We had a place called the Village Inn.

Oh, sorry, it's not a franchise.

The Village Inn was a franchise.

Wasn't the Village Inn a franchise?

We're talking like nationally franchised.

Bonanza.

We had a Bonanza.

Bonanza.

Ponderosa.

Ponderosa is a good choice.

That's it.

Yeah,

that's number two.

That's my choice.

How fast he stole Miss Pivesite.

Ponderosa is a solid choice.

We actually, three years ago, was it?

We went to a mall way, way up north, and I was so excited because next to this mall, we got lost, and we found a Ponderosa that was still there.

We went, we ate the Ponderosa.

How excited were you?

I was so excited because it was just, oh, it was just like back in the day, the red brick.

We went back there the following week.

It was closed.

About

the year that Trump got elected, I was in Florida at Disney World with my family, and there was a Ponderosa right off International Drive.

Like, it wasn't on International Drive, but we found one, and it was awesome.

So, when I went back to Florida with Giddam, I was like, before we leave Florida, I was like, we got to go to Ponderosa because he had never been to one before.

And I was like, you know, I was like, it's like, it's like a shangri-la, it's like a food.

It's like, you will be, your taste buds will be, you know, will be, you know, stroked with the finest meats and the bashed potatoes flow like fucking honey and it was just like and we look and i was like i go and we we didn't put it in gps so i was like i just kind of did it off memory from 2016.

because it's easier to just find

we drove around forever

looking for it and we never found it or we googled it and i and apparently i guess it had closed we couldn't find any

evidence that i eat that i had ever been to one it didn't seem like there were like so this could have just been in your imagination no i know we went to one i know because nobody at the nobody in my family was as excited as I was.

I couldn't wait to get out of there.

Yeah, I'll be going down to

next week.

I will be in Orlando.

Oh, yeah.

Over the purchase.

I'll find out Ponderosa.

Bonanza or Ponderosa?

Ponderosa.

Ponderosa?

Okay, I'll check it out.

I'll see if I can.

Because we'll have time because we're not going to any theme parks or anything,

with the exception of possibly SeaWorld.

Now,

what makes you go to Florida then, if it's not for that?

Is it just warmer weather?

It's warmer weather.

But you have a hot tub.

And Sage can swim in pools, like in the pool and stuff.

The hot tub isn't.

That's a big hot tub.

It's, yeah, it's big, but it's not that big.

I mean, she can't do.

I mean, she can't do a cannibal?

She can't do a cannonball in there.

Yeah.

I'm like, dive, Sage, dive.

Not dive, but like a little mini cannibal.

She could do a mini cannibal.

She's pretty big, man.

You've seen her lately, right?

She can't do a cannibal in that fucking hot tub.

I want you to, I will put it on Instagram.

I want you to come over and do a cannonball into the hot tub.

No, I think we're going to spend time around the pool.

If the hotel is a hot tub, I'm not sure.

Maybe doing some mini golfing.

No, I got Ponderosa to look for.

You know, just some like, so if anybody can go on Twitter, tell themstevedave.com, if you have anything to do in Orlando that's not a theme park that you think is interesting, even if it's like a little roadside zoo or something like that, like just little shit, little things, you know?

You got to get out into the

out of Orlando then to do those like side, those roadside attractions.

Yeah.

Yeah.

And getting out of the way.

Yeah, you're probably right about that.

Because, yeah, they don't, because Disney doesn't allow any of that shit anymore.

No.

No, they don't.

You think they're going to let some mom-pa fucking roadside attraction take one fucking cent away from Disney?

I would like to think they wouldn't have control over that, but that's just me being stupid.

Tell them, Steve Dave.