#514: Final Foreskin

Asshole, asshole.

Do you have brown noser?

Mom, can I play with Hitler's clone?

No.

Tell them, Steve, Dave.

Hello, and welcome to this week's edition of Tell him Steve Dave.

We're back, baby.

After a couple of weeks now.

Yeah.

Hey.

People were upset.

The natives were getting restless.

Yeah.

Yeah.

I saw some unhappy ants out there.

I understand.

I listen to a podcast, and if it doesn't come out on a weekly basis, it usually does.

They're usually rock solid.

But every once in a while,

you won't get an episode.

I'm like, what the fuck?

I don't go online and complain about it.

But that's a good thing.

People want more of you, right?

Yeah.

Okay.

So, anyway.

What matters is the here and now.

What really matters is I got rid of that robin.

Oh, get out of here.

Yeah.

I laced some bird seed with strychnine.

No, you didn't.

You know, I know you didn't do that.

No, he just disappeared.

I don't know if...

Because they were doing some work in a tree that adjoins my yard, and I'm not sure if maybe they cut his nest out.

Aw.

Yeah, which sucks for him.

Doesn't suck for your car.

Doesn't suck for my car.

I haven't had to get it washed in two weeks now.

Nice, man.

Yeah.

Everything's turning up main.

Yeah, I haven't even talked to you guys much over the past couple of weeks.

Like, it's been a little hectic.

What's going on with you guys?

Did I mention Robin already?

So you guys just didn't want to do an episode without me, huh?

No.

That was nice to see you guys.

Yeah.

Definitely without.

The same FQ is not around.

Exactly.

All right.

Thank you, man.

I appreciate that.

Oh, I saw

Sal somehow has COVID again.

He's Sal.

He's just

living his Sal life, man.

That's it.

He just gets COVID.

Well, you know, we were in New Orleans and, you know, we were in a superdome.

Yeah, I guess.

70,000 people.

Is this his third time?

It's definitely his second.

It might also be his third.

Really?

Poor bastard.

Is it progressively not as bad as the previous time?

Yes.

It's easier every time.

So he's kind of just dealing with some minor

inconveniences?

Well, he's responsible.

So if he doesn't go anywhere, and that's, you know.

all I'm talking about in terms of his health, like, is he got like it's not as bad on a scale of one to ten.

Like it's just a little stuffy nose or

yeah, a little more than that, but he's, you know, a little fever and whatnot.

He's, he's fine.

Shea had it too.

Did she?

Shea got it.

Yeah.

Yeah.

She's all right now.

Yeah.

I was FaceTime her the other day.

She's great.

Good to hear.

How was wrestling?

How was the

whole wrestling thing?

Didn't you go into a wrestling?

No.

Oh, no, you went to the Final Four.

Yeah, that's right.

Were you converted?

You know, it's like every live sport event.

It's fucking exciting.

I mean, look, there's nothing like being in the ⁇ that crowd was

insane.

You know what I mean?

Like, I'd never been to anything quiet.

The only time I really felt energy like that was the Subway Series, World Series, and Yankee Stadium.

It was...

Oh, you went to that?

I was there.

I was there for two of those games.

Did you see the one where Clemens grabbed the bat?

I was there for that.

That was the single craziest

energetic crowd thing I've ever experienced in my life.

It was when the bat broke off.

He grabbed the bat and threw it.

He threw it back at him.

I was there, yeah.

I thought to myself, that's where I wanted the Yankees to lose even more than I had ever got.

What an asshole Clemens is.

It's like that guy broke his bat on purpose and the bat rolled out to the mound and he threw the bat back at him, the batter, as if, like,

fuck you.

Hey, man, this thing's a high, bro.

This is a bad thing.

I know, but it's such a fucking dickhead move.

And that guy is a dickhead.

So Clemens is up to bat.

No, no,

he's the pitcher.

Throws a fastball.

Guy he saws off the bat, which means like he takes the batter, swings at it, the bat splits in half, and the barrel rolls out to the mound.

It was, what's his name?

I just saw him split.

It was Pizzazza.

That's a Piazza.

I just watched him yesterday.

He was doing the speech at the Tom Seavers statue.

Yeah.

So Piazza splits his bat, and Clemens grabs the bat, takes it.

Didn't he catch it almost?

Yes.

It was a badass ninja move yeah you know i'll i'll give him that but he threw it back at piazza as if like like he was mad at him because this bat because the bat split like it's something he has no control over exactly okay and i like i want them to lose before that because i can't stand the yankees piazzas just started like walking towards the mound they started screaming at each other and it was all it was a stadium of mets and yankees fans and it was all new yorkers right so everyone was fucking losing how'd you get that ticket that's just because i had season tickets so i so part of the package would be uh you would get like a 25-game package, and then you would have first dibs at the postseason games.

Is that one of your most fondest memories of as a Yankee fan?

In my life,

I'll probably never experience anything like that again.

It was fucking crazy, dude.

The energy was like,

it was like, you could feel it.

You could fucking feel it.

And yeah, there it is.

And

yeah, look at this.

We're watching it right now.

He throws the pitch.

The bat splits.

Yeah.

i mean this is fucking it shit just start going berserk he already threw it already you know

yeah he threw it already and that's it now everybody saw it's coming out this uh now i now i'm in the i'm in

i mean probably on my way it was like it was foggy

the whole place you couldn't even hear english everybody's fucking screaming yeah yeah it was pretty nuts It was a great moment to be there.

For, you know,

what game was this?

Game three?

Three, I think.

Game three.

They won.

They didn't sweep them, did they?

But I know the Yankees did eventually won, but I can't remember.

They didn't sweep them, but they won.

Yeah, great, great.

That was great.

Yeah, Clemens, you know.

There it is.

All right.

It's going to show it now.

This is a sub-genre of podcasts called Old Men Watching Google.

Shit.

Boom.

Oh, throws it on him.

Should have been ejected.

Should Clemens have been ejected?

You didn't throw it at him.

He threw it towards the line.

No, he throws it towards the line.

He is within a foot of spearing.

You want to go right the fuck now, bro?

I'll go right now.

I don't give a fuck.

There are Yankees fans and Mets fans in here.

I can say impartially that he definitely threw it at him.

Right?

He should have been thrown out of the game, ejected, but because it was the World Series and because it's the Yankees, he was allowed to stay in the game and pitch.

I don't know.

He later on, did he later on say that he didn't throw it at him?

Like it hit his hand and he was worried about his pitching hand?

So he just got it away from him.

He just threw it.

Or he just stayed away from him.

He was fired.

And now he's not even looking at him.

Oh, come on.

Get out of here, Piazza.

Look at that baby.

Look at that fucking baby.

He should have ran to

the mound right there.

Yeah, look at how Clemens starts walking right towards him.

Yeah, but also, he knows he's all roided up, though, Clemens.

Clemens is.

You know what the Piazza's roided up?

No way.

No way.

Out of your fucking mind, Clemens.

Neither of them are roided up.

Clemens was definitely a Reid Rage.

Let me explain to him.

That is a champion you're looking at, my friend.

He is completely Reuted out.

That's why he did it.

He was so, you know, it causes the anger issues.

Yeah, Reutrage.

I mean, that's a thing.

I was there.

You weren't.

I saw it on TV.

Yeah, but I saw it.

I was there.

And we saw the same thing.

No.

I got a replay.

Did you have, did you have the...

Oh, yeah, you probably did have the big jump on it.

Yeah, well, I mean, they just wanted everybody to calm down at that point.

We all thought we were going to go fucking hate shit.

That was awesome.

So, how many fights broke out in the stance?

Because that's a fucking

Mets and Yankee fans in one place.

It was crazy.

I mean, I didn't witness any fights.

It was really like

it didn't feel antagonistic.

Like, everybody was just going fucking crazy.

But I don't, I mean, there were Mets fans.

Like, nobody goes to the games to really start fights.

You know, maybe in the bleachers, you get those fucking guys out there.

I thought there were some fans, that's all they did.

Calling out a bullshit is this.

No, no, no, no.

What is he talking about?

I mean, nobody, what are you talking about?

This is New York.

Yeah.

What PR fucking firm is he talking about?

I'm just telling you, man.

He has his thumb on his fucking back right now.

He's like, for what?

There's no way that

the fucking New York fans are second only to the fucking Philadelphia fans.

In what?

In being assholes.

Dickheads.

I don't know what you're talking about.

I've always heard Philly, New York, and Boston are the three big ones.

Well, in the upper decks, I know things can get a little scrappy up there.

Right.

You know?

So, why do you think that is?

It's the common man is up there, not the more genteel.

It's the alcohol.

Well, like, down below, you have a lot of the boxes, business seats, and stuff like that.

And tickets cost like fucking hundreds of dollars to sit back there.

So, you're like, I'm not getting thrown out of these fucking seats.

When the tickets are like 20 bucks up top and shit like that, God knows what they're probably $100 now up top.

You know, you can go and get a little rowdier.

You know, if you get tossed, who gives a fuck?

Security's not as heavy up there.

Yeah, and then the bleachers used to be seven bucks a seat back in the day.

So that was fucking it.

They used to call them the bleacher creatures.

The bleacher creatures would go fucking berserk.

It was great.

Now, did you ever see, I'm sure you must have seen some fights, probably plenty of them, right, between fans?

Yeah.

Do you root for the Yankee fan over the visiting fan?

I think naturally you would, but really, honestly, you're going to think I'm kidding.

But most people are like, dude, stop.

You know what I mean?

Most people are like, there's a certain amount of cheering, but you don't want to see anybody get hurt.

I can say I've been at hockey games where I've seen Devil fans.

Not many, because the Devil fans are kind of laid back.

But I've seen some fights, and of course, everybody's rooting for the guy in a Devil sweater to beat up the Ranger guy.

Yeah, I would say.

I mean, I just think that most people are like, you know what it is?

It's tribalism.

Because somebody will get tossed, and it doesn't matter if it's a Yankee fan or not.

And then the whole crowd will go, asshole, asshole.

And it don't matter if you're wearing a Yankee shirt or not, you still get called an asshole.

Yeah, but that was good.

That was a fun game.

I still have the ticket to it.

Yeah, that was a, yeah, that's a very memorable game.

I remember it was shocking.

Yeah.

It was shocking that they didn't throw him out of the game, though, too.

I'm shocked that you were watching baseball.

Well, it was a big deal.

It was the Subway Series.

You know, I kind of got caught up in it.

I actually make a, I try to watch the World Series games because they're interesting.

There's a lot of tension.

And I could watch baseball just for the World Series, but not for anything, no regular season games.

Can I stomach it?

It's too much.

How did we get on that?

We were talking about you going down to March Madness.

Oh, March Madness, yeah.

The crowd being the only thing that was palpable was because it was a lot of young people.

It's college games.

So there was a lot of passion.

And it was cool.

I left fairly early on in the second game.

You know, the big game that everybody wanted to see.

I was like, I don't give a fuck about any of this.

Oh my god, I went to get a good dinner and shit like that.

It was pretty exciting.

And, you know,

Sal feels like he probably caught COVID down there.

Yeah.

Tell him we wish him the best for a speedy recovery.

Is he better yet?

He's fine, yeah.

Is he out of the

he was, he had shows this weekend that he had to cancel, but the only reason he canceled is because he tested positive still, but he's like, I feel fine.

Is he in quarantine still?

Yeah.

Okay.

Yeah.

Good.

Yeah.

Keep away from people.

Keep away from it.

Yeah, but it was an amazing success for us.

Like

over 7.2 million people.

That's awesome.

Watch that episode.

Yeah.

So

when you got out here,

you asked the ants and the ants came through.

I got to tell you, I asked the ants and the ants came through.

Thank you.

Yeah, those are the biggest ratings we've, I mean, look, it wasn't us, it was the fucking lead-in.

I'm not an idiot, but it was still pretty nice that that many people stuck around to watch it.

Like, that's those are big numbers, you know, especially when you got new bosses.

Congrats, yeah.

Yeah, my new boss has started this week, so hopefully they see those numbers.

Are you a brown-noser?

To be a brown-nose, you have to have contact with that people.

We don't, we, everybody's in L.A.

We're like on an island here.

We never talk to you.

I tried the nose, Michelle.

Did you?

You know, he was almost a showrunner for IJ.

Yeah.

Yeah.

I remember the interview with him.

I really liked him.

He's an awesome guy.

Yeah, he wants just too much money.

He's one of the coolest guys.

Like, I don't, I don't have, like, I never thought I would make friends after

over the age of 50.

Right.

And it happened, though.

So you can teach an old dog new tricks.

Yeah, he's a great guy.

I remember being in the meeting and being like, we found that guy.

Yeah.

And then we didn't.

have you i watched jackass forever yeah i watched it how great is poopsy have you poopsy's pretty good i fucking love poopsy have you considered going in that direction as i jade to increase your popularity constantly one of the guys having their cock and balls out

i mean well what i'm sure you didn't see it right i've never seen an episode when i say it's every other scene somebody has their dick out yeah it's like it's nuts

no no pun intended that was something in the 80s that like growing growing up in Highlands, I don't know about on Staten Island, but there was a certain segment of the dudes that we hung out with.

There was always like three or four that was, I thought that was the go-to.

Yeah, usually the guys with big dicks.

I mean, I don't know, but like, it would just be all of a sudden you turn around and they got no clothes on.

Yeah.

What are you doing in my room?

No, it'd be outside and like we're playing football and then someone yell my name.

I turn around and you're completely stark naked.

And they just want the reaction.

And it's just like, yeah,

I never understood that mentality.

I watched Jack S Forever and I'm just like,

and I never found it funny either, but as I get older, I'm like repulsed at this point where I'm like, oh my God, enough of this shit.

I just want to see Johnny Knoxville get hit by a bull.

I want to see Poopsie going down a slide.

Like, I don't want to watch all this other shit.

Like, they take two plexiglass pieces and

put their dick in it and then screw it down so their cuck gets like like a wafer like real thin and I'm like

I Thought I thought this was gonna be funnier.

Oh, I loved it.

I liked it.

Yeah, I really enjoyed it.

The one scene I didn't like was the bull scene.

Uh, I could I could have done without the toggle stick on the penis.

I could have done without that.

I looked away during that.

The bull scene's almost scary, right?

Yeah, I didn't like that.

I guess it's, you know, I've never met Johnny Knoxville, you know, but he's been in my life for so long, I just don't want to see him get hurt.

Like,

I just

kind of like the guy, you know?

I think he has to do it to maintain his cred.

Not anymore.

No?

No fucking way.

He didn't do anything in that movie.

He got brain damage.

I know he didn't do anything in that movie aside from the bull thing.

Like, he just stands there and laughs and points at people.

It's great.

Which I understand because he's the guy.

He had a match at WrestleMania this year.

Oh, yeah.

And it was fucking awesome.

Oh, I want to talk about wrestling.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Well, this is a great segue because his WrestleMania match was fucking dope.

And does he wrestle in a certain weight weight class?

Is there a weight class in wrestling?

No, I mean, they try and match it so it doesn't look completely absurd.

But no, no, it's not really.

I mean, there is, but, but not really.

You know, if you want to wrestle, you should really eat right.

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I got my first package.

Did you get it?

Yeah.

Yeah, was it delish?

Uh, yeah.

You'd have to ask your parents, your wife, and kids.

There was a fish in it, though.

A whole fish?

Yeah.

Really?

Yeah.

I didn't get a fish in mine.

Yeah, I got a fish.

I guess, I don't know.

But I guess apparently fish are healthy.

Fish are good for you, man.

Those essential oils and shit, yeah.

Yeah, it's brain food.

I was saying your hair's looking good, lustery.

You know?

Lustery.

Yeah.

Murray Beth says the recipes are unique.

I'm learning to create flavorful dishes that I would never have known how to cook.

That's true.

She takes all the recipes.

They're quoting her on the website?

I think she's quoting herself.

Yeah.

You can tell by this next line.

You can tell by this next line, the freshness is poppin'.

I love the pre-portioned ingredients.

It creates less mess in the kitchen.

You wouldn't know it.

Should fucking clean my kitchen bag.

I've never used the word poppin' in any way other than trying not to just to be like a in a kind of like douchey way.

We use it at home when we get grapes.

We're like, are those grapes popping or no?

Like, are they real, like, fresh and like snap, you know, when you bite into them?

Yeah.

That's probably the only way I use it.

Yeah.

The other way you can use poppin' is usually kind of like ironically.

Yeah.

Yeah.

And she'll be like, your waistline is poppin'.

I'm like, what the hell is that supposed to mean?

Yeah, I like green chef.

I'll let him out again.

Again?

I'm like, hey,

go get me a fish on the Green Chef box.

I'm hungry.

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Let's talk about some wrestling.

Yeah, so my phone blew up last night, Q.

Your phone blew up?

Yeah, my phone never blows up.

Yeah.

Yeah, I always got to check it to make sure it's got power because it rarely ever gets a text or a ring from anybody.

But last night it was...

text from all over the place as there was a sign with my name on it.

Yes, I saw this.

Yeah, you texted me and told me.

Yeah.

But my name was on a sign at this wrestling event.

And I got to tell you, I will start watching wrestling every week if there's going to be signs with my name on it.

I will sit down and watch every wrestling episode as long as there's a sign with my name on it.

I don't think that's going to happen, though.

You never know.

Apparently, a TSD ant must have been there, huh?

I think it was.

I believe it was Nate Diggity, long time listening.

Yeah, I'm pretty sure it was Nate.

Well, I know it was Nate because I saw him in the audience.

Like, I know what he looks like.

Oh, did you?

Yeah, I was like, oh, that's Nate.

Yeah, yeah.

How much do those tickets go for?

Yeah, no, not crazy.

Really?

Yeah, I wouldn't think that they're super nuts.

I mean, it's AEW too.

It's a newer company.

I don't know if they're charging through the roof.

Now, was that on television or was that?

Yeah, that last night was on

Network TV.

Oh, so TNT.

One of the two.

Yeah.

So a lot of people.

There it is.

So a lot of people had to be like...

Who the fuck is Walt Flanagan?

Oh, that's definitely me.

There's so many, like people make signs to their friends.

There's all sorts of stuff like that.

Yeah.

But it was the Sunday Jeff one, too.

Yes, I saw that.

Yeah.

Pretty fucking dope.

It's It's great.

Yeah, it's great.

It's popping.

Always popping.

But I want to talk to you about wrestling because we had a visitor to the store who was

on his way to a wrestling match.

Okay.

And he introduced us to what was the name of the company again?

ICW.

ICW.

ICW.

Have you heard of this?

I have heard the name.

Yeah.

Insane Championship Wrestling.

Yeah, it's like a local.

It's a local thing, right?

I'm not sure.

It's trying to go nationwide.

But I gotta tell you.

I think he came here during...

Didn't one of the ICW guys come here during the Black Friday

thing?

I don't know.

I had COVID.

Yeah,

I think I remember talking to someone about it.

This was a guy who was just on his way to watch it.

Okay.

And he exposed us to some

footage.

All right.

That...

I got to be honest with you.

If you're not into this wrestling, whatever else you're into, whatever you're watching, it's fucking like Disney shit.

What do you mean?

What you're watching is like the Disney version of wrestling.

Okay, why they're going, they're like extreme stuff.

That's all the blood and the barbed wire and all that stuff.

I mean,

it's unbelievable.

Yeah.

They're hitting each other with light bulbs.

Oh, yeah.

That shit goes on.

Like, yeah, they don't.

Yeah, I'm very familiar with that.

I'm with you, dude.

Look at this.

He's jumping into a flaming dumpster.

Yeah, this is.

No, it's a pickup truck.

Oh, it's a pickup truck.

What is this guy again?

Zandig.

Zandig.

Zandig.

All right.

This is Joey Janelle.

In this thing.

Watch what he does.

Wow.

So they're standing on top of a building on the roof.

Yeah, yeah.

And they both jump down and crash through a bunch of light bulbs.

He broke his back.

Doing that?

He broke his back?

He broke his back.

Holy shit.

Now,

what's the name of the video that you can go on YouTube and watch this for those?

Zandig versus Joey Janella roof bump.

Whoa.

This is insanity.

This is cool.

like, but this is the same shot.

It's just all different shots from the audience.

They'll do like Jeff Hardy just took a really, really high bump like this recently.

So you can see the flames in the back of this pickup truck.

I mean, the whole back of the truck explodes.

Like, the shit goes everywhere.

I gotta ask you, though.

Yeah.

Why would these wrestlers be, if they're willing to do this,

why don't they wait for a crowd of more than like 20 people?

This is how they make their name.

This is how they get known.

This circulates.

People pass this around and then

they move up the ladder.

That's why they're doing shit like this.

Just to get, look, we're here on a podcast talking about it.

Like, it's nuts.

This is like the

wrestling version of the bands that your daughter goes to see, I guess, right?

Like,

underground, unsigned.

Gathering behind a warehouse.

It's like regional wrestling, guys.

I mean, ECW Extreme used to do shit like this all the time, man.

This, I would think, would be outlawed once on the bus.

Yeah, but even WWE, like put Shane McMahon's WrestleMania bumps.

Like, he'll do things that you're like, he'll jump off fucking signs 40 feet in the air and come.

And that's WWE.

And he's the son of the owner.

Like, they do crazy shit.

40 feet onto another human being.

Dude,

if I'm exaggerating, it's not by much.

How high was that, you think?

That was probably about 20, 25 feet.

That's like two stories.

Yeah.

Yeah, it's crazy.

Into fire and light bulbs and barbed wire.

Barbed wire, yeah.

We don't want to show you what

the state of the people in the back.

Dude, you're talking to someone that's.

I watch this shit.

This is.

You're watching Frozen, basically.

Oh, I go online and stuff like that.

I'll watch this shit.

No, not that.

Although, that's a pretty good one, too.

Come on.

No, no, not that.

Not that.

Not that.

Not that.

Or like.

Or even Mick Foley's bumps through the cages and stuff.

Now, anything who's on a turnbuckle isn't it?

It's not turnbuckle stuff.

It's signs.

It's when he's on the signs and he's way up top.

No, he's on top of an ambulance.

Yeah, there's a lot of ambulance shit going on.

But there's mats.

There's no barbed wire.

There's no fire.

Where's the fire, Q?

Dude, the guy's skimming.

I mean, I don't know.

There's.

I mean, look, not to take anything away from what these athletes are doing on this sanitized version that you're watching

with all the bright lights and everything.

Like in the back of a fucking strip mall, there are two.

Dude, I watch it.

I know what you're talking about.

Do you go to those matches too?

I watch them online.

I go on YouTube.

Just like we're doing now, I do.

Show them the girl who is.

Dude, you just found this shit out yesterday.

I've been watching this for 20 years.

What are you going to get on and show me?

Do you know?

Show them the fire again.

Who was disfigured by the cartel?

We don't want to say which cartel, though.

I don't know.

I know.

Tell me about her.

Teach me about her.

She has to wear a mask.

Okay.

All right.

Okay.

And what she said.

So right away he's falling for this.

They don't.

She never takes it off.

Of course she never takes it off.

Right.

She has never removed.

She is basically Dr.

Doom.

She's been disfigured by the cartel.

Now you are figuring out why I love wrestling so much.

Right now, that gleam in your eye, I see.

Right.

She works at the fucking Yankee Candle store during the week.

I promise you she does.

No, no.

No, I'm telling you.

Show them the video.

There she is.

That's the one in the mask.

What's her name?

Sadika.

Sadika.

And she was supposedly disfigured by a cartel, an unnamed cartel.

Yeah, watch some of her highlights.

And now, what should somebody look for?

Sadika versus.

It's fucking crazy shit.

She threw her through the back window of a car.

Fuck, man.

I mean, did you see her back?

Dude, it folded in two.

She got all folded up.

Sadika versus Sadiq Maiden.

There's no and mono.

There's no springs.

No?

Dude, that's going to hurt you.

Yeah, okay, now she's got a plexiglass from the back of the truck.

It's not plexi.

Okay, this is the glass from that truck.

Oh!

She just shattered over another human being's head.

That's great.

I love this shit, dude.

Do you feel that there is a line

or no line?

There's a line I don't like to watch.

Okay.

I don't like, but that's my problem with AEW right now.

There's so much blood that after a while I'm like, I just don't want to see it anymore.

Really?

Like, they will cut up.

Like, CM Pung's head.

It's like an oil.

It's like just spritting out of his head while he's wrestling.

And I don't like watching.

How do these guys...

How do these guys do it?

Like, are they have to have a shot full of painkillers?

No, it's just, it's like, dude, it's kind of like the same as, like, you just got to find the people that love it and do it.

Same thing as being a fireman.

Like, how many people are going to fucking run into burning buildings?

You just got to find the people that

love it.

There's something in their head.

Don't care about the pain.

The adoration is more.

Well, they love wrestling.

They love the arms.

They're watching this finishing move.

She's tucking some

fluorescent

lights

in the back of her halter topper.

They're in

South America somewhere.

This wrestling.

I mean, pro wrestling is huge

in.

She just shattered fucking

five fluorescent light bulbs on her back.

It's great.

I love it.

I watch the stuff.

I'll get to it.

You want to go to a live event of this?

100%, yeah.

Really?

Yeah.

I talked to Tom, Tom Milisowski.

He said he will not go to a live event one of these, though.

Why?

He said that he's a little worried that the crowd may be too,

you know.

You might get beat up.

Too wild, too wild.

He's talking to these kids in this crowd.

I don't know.

I don't know.

I wouldn't be.

Well, I mean, where is he talking about going?

Is he talking about going south of the border?

I thought he said, would you go to Mexico and watch one of these matches?

Tom the Gringo?

What does he think is going to happen there?

What are you talking about?

Dude, I love this, though.

I love that you're getting hooked.

This is how it starts.

Because

I've tried to explain it to you like this before, where I'm like, dude, it's a lot like comic books.

You know, she's seductively dancing.

And the punishment

is on a level that I cannot believe.

Have you ever been hit with one of those?

Glass balls?

Because me and my buddies at Office, what is it, Office Depot I used to work at years ago.

We used to hit each other with those all the time in the back, those glass things.

They make the best noise when they burst.

Yeah, yeah,

and you don't get glass shards in your skin.

No, you don't even feel microscopic glass underneath your.

I'm sure you do, but I don't remember it.

Doesn't it cause cancer?

All that dust?

That's why you can't throw them out?

I don't know.

All I know is we used to fucking smack each other around with them and break them over each other's backs and shit.

Yeah, the office, office, is it Office Depot?

Yeah, that's the name of the place.

Office Max, Office Depot.

Office Max, that's it.

Office Max.

We used to put out tables and jump off the top shelves and shit.

But you know what?

But like I said, though, her face, she can never take her mask off.

Yeah.

She's completely scarred by the cartel.

I don't want to say which cartel.

The guy told me, don't mention the specific cartel.

He said.

Does she mention it?

I don't know, but.

She better not.

She's allowed to.

Walt, you've fallen for a new line at Sinker Brown.

No, that's all real.

Exactly.

Now it's all real.

There's nothing to fall for, man.

I mean,

there's nothing fake about it.

She's burned by the cartel.

Could you imagine if Walt did mention the name and a cartel member scarred him?

Oh, my God, they put acid on his face.

They pull a pickup truck behind the airport building and throw him off.

How do the gals

have it in them to do this?

This is probably a mom.

Dude, I'm telling you, they'd love it.

They just love it.

They get off on the rush, huh?

They fucking love wrestling.

They love pro wrestling.

I'm trying to do something with AEW if I can, because I'd love to.

I mean, I'm not going to.

You would love to get in a ring and actually get physical.

Well, look, nobody's going to buy that a 46-year-old man who's on TV shows coming in and being a good wrestler.

But I would go in and like, in like a mat, I would take a bumper too for sure.

I told them I'll take like a thumbtack bump.

I'd go through tables and stuff like that.

Thumbtack bump looks nasty.

I don't know what these thumbtacks is when they pour a thumbtack, like just a five-gallon bucket of thumbtacks and they just slam it down on them.

And you would do that.

Oh, in a heartbeat.

That I would do.

Yeah.

Yeah, that I would do.

you're what and where would you where would you what part of your body would you want to be exposed to well i'm assuming it's my back not your face cocking balls first

jackass style face okay yeah it's like a back or something like that yeah

i don't know man i i just i was blown away though that like because i never heard you mention what's it called the end icw yeah icw i've never heard you said mention icw well there's tons of there's like tons of regional places that go like that that do shit like this, that go crazy.

And it's, you know, you can't name them all.

If you go to the pizzeria downstairs, there's, there's,

yeah, you can go to, you want to go to a local show.

We'll go to a local show.

I mean, I would like to see Zandig.

Okay.

What's his name, right?

Yeah, Zandig.

Zandig.

He's supposedly the

greatest

ICW.

He's.

You guys have no information about ICW.

You don't look up anything.

We don't know where they're at.

No, I had the

money.

They're in Atlantic City.

Let's go.

Newark.

Newark.

I think that one of the guys that runs it is an au because I'm telling you, I was talking to somebody that was here, whoever you are, if you're listening, I can't remember the name of, I think it was what you're talking about, is one of the guys that he came here on Black Friday.

Yes.

Let's go.

Yeah, it's the same guy because he told me he was here and he talked to you.

Yeah.

So that's it.

So let's go, dude.

I would love to.

Why can't we get Zandig to come on the pot?

Who says we can't?

Let's get on.

I would love to talk to Zandig and get all the ins and outs on how he does this.

I want to hear about the

what was that match called with the pickup truck?

Bruce show in Chanel, yeah.

So live Saturday, June 25th, the Hart Ballroom, Newark, New Jersey.

If I'm home, I say we go.

I'm there.

All right.

I'm on it.

Get him.

Send that to me.

Okay.

I know you're not there, aren't you?

On a cruise?

Oh, yeah.

Are you going on a cruise?

Yeah, I'm going on a cruise.

All these years later, he goes on a cruise.

Not the impractical joker.

Not even getting paid for it.

Yeah.

Where are you going?

Oh, you don't want to say?

No, I'll say.

I just don't remember where it was.

Bermuda.

Bermuda.

Oh, it's nice.

I always travel.

He booked it for me.

Wow.

So you're starting to see.

So, like, you realize, oh, well, she might not really be burned under that mask.

Like, it might be a storyline.

But why would she say it, though?

They all say stuff like that.

Why would she need to?

If she's doing shit like that, you don't even need a backstory.

Because it makes her badass, man.

It makes the backstory better no you don't even need to bother with the bullshit

if you're fucking throwing people through cars

if you're jumping from a rooftop through a pickup truck that's on fire and barbed wire you don't need you know i don't need you to mask you've you've you've got my attention Well, the mask is its own tradition.

Like, there's a Luchador style.

It's its own thing, so she might be in that, but it's just a cool story.

Like, you want to make your character as cool as possible, or as bad as possible.

And if part of the story is...

Are you not interested in somebody that jumps off the roof through a fucking burn?

Of course I am.

Do you need a mask?

I also want the mask.

Yeah, I want a hat on a hat on a hat.

Look how bloody these guys are.

This is real blood.

This is where I start getting.

Oh, you don't like this?

I don't like the blood.

As I get older, I just don't like it as much anymore.

I can't believe the number of fluorescent lights that they use in adoring it, like an average match.

I don't know if you can't shut it off an office max as many light bulbs as we have.

No, we were just sort of hitting each other in like the back of the legs and the back with it and stuff like that.

Look at all the glasses.

I don't like watching this stuff.

No, this is too much.

They construct things.

They construct things.

Wow, we found a line.

Yeah,

I don't like all the blood.

You know what?

I'm going to go

only to watch the goriest matches.

All right.

That's my shtick.

So damn, break something

food, you're out.

Well, they'll do shit like this from time to time, and I'll watch it.

I just, I couldn't take a steady diet of all that.

How do they recover from this?

Dude, these are tough motherfuckers.

They just pick it out and go to the next match.

How?

How do they recover from this?

I mean, it's almost like it seems impossible that this is going to be their only match in their whole life.

Oh, I don't want to see it.

No.

Wow, that's cut up pretty bad.

I don't want to see it.

It's like, I don't need to see that shit.

But what happens if it happens to WWE, though?

That could happen.

Sure, yeah.

But like, you can't blame those guys.

If it's accidentally happened, mankind through the cage.

See what comes up.

I don't know how good of a podcast this is through.

We're watching stuff, but

people are like, all right, enough.

It might be like a wrestling shit.

But like, just, yeah, go to the end of this one.

Like,

you're not going to get the blood and shit like that, but don't tell me that this isn't fucking crazy.

Is this it?

This is, this is, this is the match, yeah.

So, mankind's on top of a, what would you, is that a steel cage?

Steel cage.

Um, and Undertaker just fucking chokeslams them through through it.

Wi-Fi in this place.

We're buffering everybody.

Yeah.

I mean, they do bumps like that.

I mean, they don't go for it.

WWE years ago made the choice to stop doing all the blood and stuff like that.

They wanted to be a little bit more kid-friendly.

So they stopped at that.

But AEW is bringing it back.

And I actually wish they would dial it back a little bit.

But the guys love it.

The rest of us love that shit.

Love it.

Do you think the crowd, what do you think?

They just think there's more people like you who like to die.

More people who want more blood?

More people who want more blood.

Yeah.

And I used to be that way.

Yeah.

As I get older, I get like a little more empathetic.

So I start thinking about myself in that situation.

I'm like, God, I don't want to deal with that.

Dude, you know, the other day, you know, I watch videos constantly of like death videos and shit.

The other day, I watched somebody get hit on a bike.

They were just riding down the street and they got hit by a car and a bike.

And I was like, that's the last death video I'm going to watch.

It was weird.

It was like in that moment.

I've stuck to it.

Yeah.

Because I used to go to this one site every day.

It was like 34 people having a shittier day than you.

And it's like all this awful stuff happening to people.

And for some reason, I just like, I'm like, okay, I'm good.

I don't need to see any more of this kind of shit.

I think you just hit that pace.

That's not it, buddy.

That's he, that's just him throwing him off the cage, which is still pretty high.

But there's one where you get slow chokes fan like through the cage.

But anyway, don't worry about it.

But I would love to do maybe a Patreon wrestling show where we talk to

like what's that?

What's that guy's name again?

I love Danzig.

Danzig Danzig.

All right.

Boom.

Oh, look at that right now.

You know, Danzig would come on, right?

Probably?

Why not?

I would think he might want to come on and talk to expectations.

This is the guy.

What is the guy with the broken back?

Danzig?

No, I think the other guy.

Singer, you know.

No, not Glassdoor.

Zanzig.

Oh, Zan Dig.

Yeah, you're saying the name of a guy.

Zan Dick's a guy who just jumped in the back of the thing.

Yes.

Yeah, why wouldn't he come on?

He's looking to make a name for himself.

Yeah, what has he got to lose?

Yeah.

I would love to get into the mind of a guy who's willing to do that.

Let's fucking do it, dude.

I can't support this enough, bro.

You don't understand.

This is my house.

You come for pay-per-views.

You come to fucking hang out and watch it.

I love this shit.

Yeah, it's true.

The last WWE party.

No, that was AWE.

AWE party was pretty fun.

Yeah, man.

It's just the fucking best.

It's awesome.

I said the other day, I'm like, it's crazy.

Like, at this point, I'm watching like seven hours of professional wrestling a week.

But do you, like, how do they top themselves?

So, how do you top jumping off a roof into a car?

Well, it's

what you're looking at when you look at the televised stuff, when you're watching

their storylines, and you get invested in the characters and where they go and shit like that.

And they know how to do it, so they make it effective.

So you're like, oh, fuck, man.

I actually want to see.

Even though you know, dude, I really liken it to comic books.

You know, it's, you know, I hate to say fake, because how is that shit fake?

And, well, the outcome may be

predetermined, but like, man, I couldn't do what they're doing.

Yeah, like the guy jumping off a roof into fucking fluorescent bulbs and fire.

Like, it doesn't appear there's anything fake about it.

No fucking way.

And that dude's arm that was just all cut up.

Like, not fake.

Disgusting, man.

Yeah, it's not fake.

None of this shit is.

It's just predetermined, but so's a fucking movie.

So's a TV show.

Look at Triple H, poor Triple H with the blood everywhere.

That's about as much blood as I can take.

Really?

Yeah.

But that's all now.

But now the ring's just covered in blood and it's all over their faces.

The ref's wearing gloves and he's got blood all over himself.

That's where I suck in a little bit.

Like, I don't really want to see this.

But people love it.

I get it.

I get it.

So, next up on Patreon, a wrestling show.

Sadiqa.

Sadiqa.

Sadiqa.

Keep the stuff straight, get them.

Scarred by the cartel.

Yeah.

Oh, look at it.

It's insanity.

Oh, it's another angle.

Yeah, this is more towards the truck.

Oh.

It's amazing how the bed of the truck just explodes in it like powder from the fluorescent bulbs and

shoddy fucking

level of insanity, though, right?

Yeah, you got to be a little, I don't know, insanity, but you just got to be the guy that just likes it, man.

That's all.

He's throwing it to barbed wire.

I don't think it's possible to say

you're quote-unquote normal if you're willing to endure this kind of punishment for what looks like about 30 people.

30 people in a parking lot.

Yeah.

Yeah, I agree.

I agree.

It takes something special.

The settings are weird.

Like the Mexican one, it looks like somebody just had a bunch of chairs.

They set them up.

They're like, all right, start fighting.

Yeah, it's backyard wrestling, man.

You type in backyard wrestling, you're going to see, also, it's a fuck up.

I've seen some of that stuff.

It's a lot of people jumping off roofs through tables.

Yeah, a lot of that.

Tables are the best, man.

And every once in a while, somebody will miss it.

Like, that person just got fucked up.

But we, you know, we had

Chris Jericho on Joker's this season.

And I know him already, but we were like talking through a bunch of this stuff.

And these guys are great, man.

I love them.

What is the price that they pay in 10 years though their bodies it's it can be pretty ugly I was at a con in Chicago and there were probably five former wrestlers yeah and the price they pay is barely being able to walk yeah and a lot of times being addicted to the painkillers because they're just it can get bad yeah it can get bad but hopefully you know they're trying to do better they're trying to like take care of their guys more and shit like that it's that's why WWE you're not gonna see shit like this because they invest it's like any other entertainment business they invest so much money and time and their talent that they're not going to do this and have a guy break his back and then fucking never be able to work for him.

You know, it's an investment, too.

Oh,

yeah.

Well, that is a wrestling course.

What brought this to you?

The guy who just came in, he was an aunt, and he was on his way, and he was like, he was talking about.

I've never seen anybody more interested in.

Yeah.

Well, he's one of the run.

He runs it, I think.

I don't know.

I don't know.

He was telling us that

they had just purchased 400 light bulbs just for this one match alone.

He was a photographer.

He was going down to photograph it, he said.

Yeah.

And

but

his, like, he was talking about it like the way like, you know, somebody talks about, you know, whatever they're into, whatever hobby they're into, like with like such glee and exuberance.

And, you know, yeah, it opened my eyes.

Yeah, good.

And, dude, there's so many different type of wrestlers.

Like, there are older school wrestlers.

Like, you watch like Brian Danielson match or something like that.

He loves the grappling and the wrestling and all that stuff.

And then there's guys that like stuff like this.

Then there's guys who like comedy.

Then there's guys.

So it's like even within the realm of like one wrestling company, you get such a broad range of wrestling styles that that's why, you know, everybody has someone that they love.

Are you into collegiate wrestling?

No, not really.

That's like actual, like, yeah.

No.

No.

I used to, my cousin used to wrestle, and I used to go watch him back in high school.

Just the theatrics.

You need a little bit of theatrics.

I'm there for that.

That's what I'm there for.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

I love all that shit.

But this is great.

It's very exciting.

You're perked up.

Yeah, I am, man.

I love this stuff, dude.

And me and Sal, it's like we go through dips and fucking valleys with it.

And like, we're currently in a fucking high mountain range.

We love this shit.

Maybe you should tell Sal about ICW.

I will.

I will.

Zandig, right?

Yeah, Zandig and Sadiq.

All right.

Well, text all this shit to me.

I'll check it out.

This is great.

Wrestling podcast.

I love it.

Yeah, you can bring like certain things.

We can do it on video, and you can bring like send certain clips that we can watch and comment on.

Yeah, I have some props.

Your top 10 best matches.

Oh, all right, that I've seen.

Yeah, I love it.

I love it.

Top 10 bumps.

Yeah, big old bumps.

I'm into it, man.

This is great.

Nice, man.

Want to talk about Lumen?

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You like it?

Love it.

I use the dark eye stuff.

I get those dark circles under my eyes.

I use them.

Yeah.

I think you couldn't tell by me.

I guess it's working.

Yeah, look at me.

Yeah, look at me, baby.

I got the caroten

shampoo.

The shampoo?

Yeah.

I could tell your hair is silky as fuck.

I like it.

They do good stuff, quality.

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All right.

Friend of ours died, Q.

I don't know, friend, maybe acquaintance.

Old Gilbert.

Gilbert?

Gilbert Godfrey.

Oh, Gilbert Godfrey.

Yeah, I know.

Gilbert Gilbert's, you know.

Yeah, no, when you said that, I thought you were going to say Toad died.

I was like, oh, what do you mean?

Oh, Gilbert Godfrey.

Yeah, he passed away, huh?

Yeah, it was.

I liked Gilbert a lot.

He's one of the few non-PC comics out there that doesn't give a fuck or didn't give a fuck.

No, he never cared, man.

At the time, and I got to meet him and hang out with him thanks to you.

Yeah, on the boat.

On the first cruise, we had lunch together, he and I.

And then I watched him for five to seven minutes do a James Mason impression for this fucking five-year-old kid.

He wouldn't stop talking to him as James Mason.

That's a deep poll.

Yeah, it was weird.

And when I say five to seven minutes, I'm not exaggerating.

No, he loved it.

It was long enough that, yeah.

It was apparently a very talented imitation.

Oh, yeah.

I mean, he was.

He came on the boat within four minutes of being on the boat.

He was asking us if he could cut his time down and only do one show instead of like two or whatever.

We asked him to do.

It was great.

Yeah, we did his podcast.

We like Gilbert quite a bit, man.

He was a good guy.

Sorry to see him go.

You kind of always want him out there, you know?

Yeah.

Would have been nice to see him get to the 80s.

Yeah, 67.

Little young.

Poor Gilbert.

A little young.

I know.

You have any fond Gilbert memories, Walt?

Up all night with the.

Oh, yeah.

I forgot about that.

Yeah, I remember him being the Iago, the bird, yeah.

That's probably where he made most of his money, right?

I remember, you know, he, you know, I felt bad for him when he made the joke about

the tsunami.

Yeah.

And it cost him a lot of

not realizing that 80% of their business was from Japan.

Yeah, by all accounts, it never really bothered him.

Like, shit like that didn't bother him, right?

Like, he was just like, all right, then I lost the money.

He'd rather be true to himself than

yeah.

Well, he told me, there might be a little insight, but he told me that he thought they were looking to get rid of him anyway prior to that.

Because I think they paid him a fuck ton of money.

They say that's what happens:

they start, they become popular, like the Flowgirl.

They start to become popular, and then

their original contract runs out, and now they want a lot more money.

So that's why they always try to branch off into new characters

who have

less of a contract.

That Flowgirl's got.

But even the original contract's got to be bad.

There's minimums that are pretty good.

That Flowgirl's got to be sitting on so much money.

Stephanie Courtney.

I think, you know, if you could look it up real fast,

I want to say

Gilbert had a trove of 200 hours

of Yago stuff that wasn't used.

Oh, really?

Yeah.

200 sounds like a lot.

What's Yago?

The bird from the bird.

Oh, oh, okay.

You mean he had lines that they just didn't use?

He had lines, I guess, a bunch of extra material that they didn't use, and I don't know how he got a hold of it.

Like, you would think Disney would be pretty tight with that kind of shit.

It is weird.

But, like, he was just improv, like,

like

improv.

I guess he was just doing improv stuff.

What do we got there?

Gilbert Godfrey, yeah, left behind.

Secret Aladdin out takes 200 hours of footage.

Oh, man.

I guess it's probably a little bit more risque.

Maybe.

Probably jokes that probably wouldn't Disney would never have a green lit.

But 200 hours?

Wow.

I mean, that's almost 10 days.

That's a lot.

Man, what a bummer.

Yeah, he was real into, well, you would appreciate it.

He was real into

Universal Monsters, too.

Was he?

Yeah, he was constantly doing Bella Lagosi impressions.

was dracula godfrey yeah yeah yeah the how old howard stern stuff yep

he's he was he was one of those guys that like when he did our cruise and when we did his podcast because i you know what was his first thing beverly hills cop or whatever like we saw him in then all the how it stern like he was someone that i was like wow i can't believe i'm in

in

the conversation with him you know what i mean like like he's on my cruise i'm on his podcast it was like one of those career things where i was like ah that's that's pretty crazy That's pretty awesome.

You feel like you hired Gilbert to work.

Yeah, I made Gilbert Godfrey to come play Mike Cruz, and it was awesome.

Hey, he did the same thing.

We told him, you know, try and keep it as clean as you can.

And he gets up and he absolutely does not keep it clean whatsoever.

Well,

he was doing a pod with Sal.

I mean, Sal and Big J, I think, were doing a pod, and it was a family-friendly pod.

And I said to Gilbert, I was like, you should go up there.

He just wandered on, right?

I was like, you should go up there and just sit down and start saying crazy shit.

And he's like, you think so?

And I was like, definitely.

He did it.

He did it.

Nobody's going to tell Gilbert not to come on site.

I just remember people with kids leaving.

I telling it out of there.

I remember seeing him on things like Hollywood Squares back when it was

Resurgence.

He had sitcoms like Married with Children, which is funny because the one he was on with Married with Children, he was on a

comedian on a cruise.

And

at the end, they end up getting stuck on the lifeboat with him.

And he's doing prop comedy with

the platter, the serving platters.

Look at me.

I'm Mickey Mouse.

And they just jump off the

life raft.

Yeah, we lost him.

Yeah.

Him and Norm McDonald lately and Bob Sagat.

Bob Sagett.

Yeah, dude.

Louis Anderson.

Yeah.

Louis Anderson.

Wow.

It's like a comedy culling at the moment.

Yeah.

Oh, there was that photo that Gilbert posted of him, him, Sagett, and Louis Anderson.

Sagitt's death.

Oh, okay.

Yeah, they're all gone.

Yeah.

Do you guys have any Easter plans?

Um, I'm gonna go to Pam's house.

I'm gonna hide some stuff for Sage there.

Oh, yeah?

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah, she's still into the

Easter egg thing.

But like, we use plastic eggs and we put like McDonald's gift certificate on this.

You say you go the money route more than the

money route.

Yeah.

To watch her eat a hard-boiled egg is something nobody should ever have to do.

It's fucking disgusting, man.

But yeah, pretty much just that.

Mary Beth is going over to her buddy's house to do a podcast

on Twitch.

That's about it.

That's all I got.

We're not religious, so.

Right.

Yeah.

I mean, I'm going away.

I'm going to Mystic New York.

Mystic, huh?

I think it's something to do with Mystic Pizza.

That's where they made the movie.

That's where they made the movie?

Yeah, I don't know.

That's where we're going.

It's a Cher movie, right?

Yeah.

It's a Cher movie.

I saw it, but that's what everybody.

I never anybody says Mystic.

No, Moonlighting, is you thinking of that?

Is that what I'm thinking of?

What is it?

Yeah, Julie Roberts was Mystic Pizza.

Julie Roberts was Mystic Pizza.

Okay.

That was like Moonstruck.

That's what you're thinking of.

Moonstruck.

Moonstruck.

Yeah, you're right.

I, too, thought a share was in Mystic Pizza, though.

That's weird.

You're going to get a nice slice of Mystic Pizza, babe.

I'd be.

Are you going to get in there and eat it?

Who's going?

You and the whole family?

Yeah.

Oh, Elise.

My brother-in-law and his family.

Oh, so it's a whole thing.

A whole thing on there, but you're not excited about that part of it.

Oh, I don't mind that.

Yeah, because

he has a little girl who's only like, I think, like eight or nine.

So that makes it fun because then I could just like, you know, it's like almost like when my kids are just telling outlandish shit.

Right.

Like, she has no idea that, like, you know, like, she isn't around me that much to not realize it's absolutely

like my uncle's trolling me.

What was it?

You guys all speak like rednecks.

But I had this, I had, I had one thing to bring up since it was Easter.

I don't know if you guys have ever heard of this.

i was saving it in case we needed because um we did an overkill episode for patreon earlier today yeah and we didn't get around to using it but have you guys have ever heard of something called um the holy foreskin whoa

is this like jesus's foreskin it's it's exactly that get out yeah that means we can clone jesus well let me tell you a little about it about the holy foreskin okay um it's a relic of

foreskin removed during jesus's circumcision.

At least 18 churches in Europe have claimed to possess this delicate piece

starting from the year 800 and yada, yada, yada.

But the last known trace of the foreskin relic was in Italy, where it vanished in 1983.

So relatively recent history.

Like in 1982, we could have saw the foreskin.

Damn.

Wow.

Is that nuts?

Yeah, that's nuts.

So why is everybody still, like if this existed, so why is everybody saying, like, why does people are like, like, should I believe or should I not believe?

Like, what are you talking about?

Four skins right there.

Yeah, like, what do you mean?

Like, you don't know if God should believe it.

There's two things at play here.

One is like 18 people are claiming to have it, which means there's 17 liars at least.

No, no, no.

18 churches since in history.

Right.

It's made its way to 18 different churches.

But there's no way to prove that it is that.

And then the other part would be like, I don't think people dispute that Jesus, the man, lived.

I think that's like a historical.

I think what people question is like whether he was God,

whether he came back from the dead and walked on water and all that stuff.

But

to think, though, that like

that would be kind of.

Why would they save it?

That's

yeah, like how'd they know to save it?

Well, well, I guess they knew he was Jesus.

Oh, Immaculate Conception.

Yeah.

Why not save his hair, too?

Like, if he got haircuts over the course of his life, like, why not save that?

If they knew.

Is that something, though, like, if it came up for auction at the

night fair?

At the night fair?

Depending on the price of it,

I'd have to make a go at it.

I mean, if we had Jesus' foreskin here at Airport Plaza,

come on.

Q suffered heavy losses recently with his acquisitions.

They would have to do better than Crumpy.

Well,

you would think.

Yeah, well, it's out there.

It's been missing since 83.

Yeah, so if somebody has it i could put the word out to the fair see if anybody's got it but i don't think we can afford it maybe we get a piece of it yeah just a sliver yeah just like a maybe i can make a bid on like just a piece of the foreskin of jesus could you imagine would you be for or against if they're like well we believe that this is the foreskin of jesus we're going to clone him to see to see what he looked like and see if there's any holy powers in the clone Are you for it or is that a door that must never be opened?

I think that would be a door that no one should open.

I I think cloning in general.

I don't think you should clone, you know, Joe Schmo, let alone Jesus.

Why?

They weren't very like.

Maybe it's the second coming.

Like, but assisted by man.

Yeah.

God's creation helps bring him back.

Cloning is the, you know how I feel

set against it.

Why?

Because they're second-class citizens.

Clones?

Yeah.

Well, they'll never have any real rights.

They'll never be able to buy property.

Because they have no identity.

Of course they do.

They're clones.

But then, which does the clone have the same rights to the property that you do?

Exactly.

No, they're their own person.

They're a separate person.

So, like, if I used your hair out there to clone you,

it would own your house as well?

No, it's a separate person.

Yeah, but it could claim, start to claim rights that, you know, that things that you have.

I'm fucking 40 years older than it.

Like, what do you think?

It's not going to say, you still got to raise this child.

Would you raise him?

Your own clone?

I probably would.

Yeah.

Yeah.

If somebody said, if like there was some sort of fuck-up and like they cloned me, and they're like, well, we're going to just fucking flush it.

We're going to euthanize it.

I'd be like, no, just give me the clone.

No birth certificate.

Yeah.

So that's right.

Right there

closes a whole bunch of doors for him.

Well, you'd have to.

Yeah, but there's ways around that.

Anyway,

there's ways around that.

How?

You could be like, he was born in fucking South America.

His village got blown up.

He's got no things.

Let's get it.

He's just like you.

But he's going to look like he's a kid.

It's a saying.

Yeah, but born in South America and his village was blown up.

Look at a white guy live in a village.

Yeah, but look, look at those guys who are everywhere.

Look at when they get those 15-year-old kids to play Little League and they get their birthday good that says they're 10 years old.

Yeah, but it's so white.

Oh, the Dominican kids.

So you don't think anybody should be cloned ever?

I don't think.

I think it's a slippery slope.

To what?

What's the bottom of the slope?

What's the bottom of the slope?

Yeah.

Because then we got clones walking around, and then he has your fingerprints.

Commits crimes.

And then you get again, by the time this clone is even 18 years old,

he has fingerprints right out of the gate, right?

But a baby's not going out stealing crimes and shit like that.

Like, it's just not happening.

Like, by the time he gets to a certain age, first of all, who cares?

Like, by the time he gets to a certain age, they're not going to be like, well, this fucking seven-year-old Codger raised hell in Atlantic City this weekend.

Like, this is not going to be.

Oh, but maybe

all of a sudden, now he's fathering children that you got to pay for

and to paternity tests.

Right, but again.

And he's reckless.

What are some of the things that people point to?

It's like why you shouldn't be cloning things.

Well, the biggest thing is like

because you're playing God.

Yeah.

That's the biggest thing that people are.

You're playing God with vaccines, aren't you?

Look.

I'm not one of these people.

Well, all right, so I shouldn't clone my cat.

I mean, there are people that do it, but there's a lot of other cats out there.

There's another cat out there that's on this earth already that would probably love to be under your roof.

That's the only argument I can see for it.

But to me, then that just means

you clone a cat, you adopt the cat.

Well, the problem, too, is like it's going to have different experiences.

Yeah.

So it's going to,

not the cat, the...

Baby Q.

Yeah.

So those experiences, like, it's not going to turn into you.

I know that.

Right.

I don't know if these guys know that.

Yeah, it's like a whole separate person.

Right, it's not going to have your personality, but it's going to have every other aspect of you.

Yeah, but I'm more interested in, like, if I get sick, I could harvest him for a kidney or something like that.

Now you're talking.

Yeah, where did you think I was going with this?

Black market, but

that's the thing, though.

Like, there was talk of cloning people for

parts.

Harvesting parts.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Truly evil.

Truly, like, only for the rich man.

What if they could clone, what if they could clone just the parts?

Then that's not the same.

Well, they could do that off your body.

Like, they could do that.

Let's say your ear gets ripped off, and I got to grow an ear on a mouse's body.

No problem with that at all.

I don't have a problem with that.

No problem with that.

But I agree, to grow another human being just to harvest, strip mine them for parts

isn't a good idea.

No, I'm glad we're not.

But if they could clone Jesus,

you don't think we should clone Jesus.

I think

that's the last person

you should be cloning.

The last person.

I mean, it's, you know, it's

who else?

I mean, you got to always talk about.

I mean, to not clone?

Yeah.

I mean, Hitler.

But Hitler wouldn't be.

Like, Hitler would just be a dude, though.

He wouldn't be Hitler.

I think people wouldn't want to roll the dice on that.

I don't think he's going to garner a lot of

friends.

No.

Mom, can I go against him?

Mom, can I play with Hitler's clone?

No.

You can't hold that against the clone.

You can't, but you know people would.

I guess.

Yeah, you're right.

I mean, what if the difference between good Hitler and bad Hitler is like failing to be able to perform at the end of a school play or something?

I mean, do you want to take that chance?

Yeah, but this clone's not going to rise to power.

I don't think we should clone Hitler.

I mean, I'm with you on that one.

But if we had the foreskin for Jesus,

I think we as humanity should take a shot.

No, I think if you're going to, let's clone like

Mother Teresa.

Why?

What'd she do?

What do you mean what'd she do?

Didn't she do some evil stuff in the past?

She was not as good as everyone said she was.

Gandhi.

Oh,

he was his wife.

What?

Him, too?

Yeah, he was a wife Peter, I believe.

Yeah.

All right, good.

What's up?

Me.

You're pretty solid.

Dude,

you're more solid than Gandhi and fucking Mother Teresa.

Tell him, Steve, Dave.

We still got some stuff.

Oh,

that was a good one, though.

We could talk about it.

And Q1, you wanted to show me something.

Oh, yeah.

What is that before we start?

That's the foreskin.

What?

So, yeah, I should have realized that they would have pictures in 1983.

Yes, that's what it looked like.

It's bubblegum.

Yeah, it looks like bacon, right?

Yeah.

Like a strip of bacon.

Maybe that's what happened to it.

Someone.

But what is...

Someone had the incense up a little too high.

You got a toilet paper dispensary.

I think that's a...

I think that's a holy relic-looking thing.

But it does look like a toilet paper dispensary.

You're right.

Yeah.

Would you touch it, Q?

I'm sure it gives off.

I'd touch it.

Like,

out of all the dudes' foreskins, you would touch.

You think I would turn super gay?

No, no.

Like, holy gay.

Holy gay.

I'm sure it has some mystical properties, you know, maybe some gay properties.

All you got to do is rub Jesus' foreskin and like all you get healed?

You get a little luck.

I would take that on a heartbeat.

I'd rub it all over my face.

And

the more you rub it, the bigger it gets.

I don't believe it's his real foreskin, though.

You don't believe it?

Nah.

I don't believe it.

That's like some strip of flesh fillet off a prisoner or something.

Yeah.

Way back in the day.

Some slave swine foreskin.

If there's, you know, I wonder why, though, families don't save the foreskin from all circumcisions.

you know i don't know i don't have kids yeah

all right what's what's the other ad

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Well, can you be in business with me on these anymore?

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I mean,

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I know that people smoke that stuff

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You know, I wouldn't.

We're looking at some designs right now if you like weed.

I'm sorry, right, but I don't want to lose this train of thought.

you think do you think though that it conveniently went missing because science caught up to so that we can tell definitively if it was i would not be surprised so they so the vatican knew they had to get it back they had to get it back and get it out so that like you know people didn't clone it right or try to carbon and or try to do some sort of dna on it

weren't you the one that told me that the vatican has like extra books of the bible oh yeah yeah that's true that they've never released yeah so it's probably down there in the archives with that they got the chrono vision down down there, the television that can watch

any moment in world history.

So if the world ended, like let's say it was like the stand.

Yeah.

And everybody in this room survived, do you think we would have to get our way to the Vatican, to the basement?

To what?

To watch TV.

Get all this stuff out.

Oh,

I mean, we're the only three people left on the planet?

Yeah.

Well, four, get them to.

Okay, so we'd probably have to take a boat there, right?

Because we can't know what I can fly a plane.

We'd have to probably have to take a boat there, yeah.

I'm up for it.

Yeah.

Getting to the Vatican.

I would like to see all those secrets.

Go to the Vatican, go to some wrestling, yeah.

There's no more wrestling, dude.

There's no other humans.

There's only us.

Oh, walk.

We'll find the foreskin.

Yeah, I would probably like try to go.

I mean, we'd start in the United States first, right?

Go to Area 51.

We'd go to the White House archives.

We'd go to all the top secret places to really get to the bottom.

Graceland.

We could live there, bro.

Nobody's going to stop us.

Disneyland, see if we can find Walt.

He's underneath the castle.

Snow White's Castle, right?

Or No Cinderella's Castle.

I started it with Magic Mountain.

He's there somewhere.

We'll find him.

He'll finish the Mundy's.

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So speaking of clothing, yeah, this was something I wanted to bring because I don't know how to feel about this, Brian.

And you, as the father of a child with Down syndrome, I want to, I sent you this link to Victoria's Secrets model who has

Down syndrome.

And

I'm not sure

I'm not sure how to feel about it because they are definitely presenting her in a sexy life light.

And

I don't know, man.

Does that

mean good for her?

I want her to do anything she wants to do.

I don't know how to feel about it.

It's not as clear-cut for me, and I figured you would be the guy to talk to about this.

Well, in the

interest

of

being woke and not shaming anybody, she has amazing tits.

Okay, all right.

Well, yeah.

But I mean, that's what they're presenting, right?

I don't know.

That's what they're presenting.

I mean, with Down syndrome, people, you know, just like anything like.

Yeah, I'm actually not looking for a comedic take.

Like, I'm dead serious.

like yeah like what are you what are your thoughts on it

immediately obviously it's like because i've

grown up in a way where like you you shouldn't take advantage of mentally challenged people

you kind of look at it like that like yeah like they're exploiting her okay but it seems to me probably she was a model already and victoria's secret i mean you want to talk woke they're extremely woke they got trans models yeah they they got all kinds of stuff um So something like this seems like a logical step for them.

With Down syndrome, people like Sage

could never make this decision.

Okay.

She doesn't operate on a high enough plane to be like, yeah, I want to.

If I was like, hey, you want to be a model?

She'd say, yeah.

But she wouldn't have really any concept of

what modeling is.

She would walk around and do fancy poses like she would see on fucking YouTube or something.

But somebody like this, or like Corky from Life Goes On, it's like,

I watched a documentary about Down syndrome a couple weeks ago,

and there are some people who are so high functioning that you can hardly tell they even have it.

And that's with this girl, like you can tell there's something.

Right.

You can tell there's something going on.

But her name is, what is her name?

Sophia?

Sophia Giroux?

Yeah, I think so.

Sophia Giroux.

So Sophia Giroux.

I'm okay with it.

Yeah.

Yeah, I think that probably whoever,

hopefully whoever her caretakers are, are like, she can make this decision.

She's been modeling for a while.

She knows what she's doing.

She's been in the game, you know.

Does it open her up to getting objectified and

kind of sexualized?

It has to.

That absolutely does.

It has to.

So is there something there?

Because otherwise you're saying, like, I don't, like, I'm just so fucking confused.

Again, I have no horse in this.

What do you think of a dude who admits, like, he's like, oh my God, like, I was aroused when I saw those photos?

Like, what, can he, should he, like, it's not his fault he got aroused, is it?

She, no, not really.

Right.

I mean, you can't blame the guy.

Like, you can't stop, if you're going to get aroused, you're going to get aroused.

Right.

You can't stop it unless you think of garbage, right?

Wasn't that the, or Spider-Man?

Spider-Man or baseball with the two.

days.

Yeah, I was, I don't know.

Like, my first thing when I heard about it was to be like, no fucking way, they didn't do this to this poor girl.

But then you look at it and you're like, I don't know.

She seems to be enjoying it.

She seems pretty happy.

But there's only one thing I look at Victoria's Secret Models for.

And I was like, that is not accomplished here with this with me.

So I don't know if I'm being.

What you look for, but like, what about the ladies who actually want to buy the garments, though?

Right.

Are they looking for a different reason

than like a healthy, red-blooded American man.

Right.

And I think it helps that she doesn't look like she has Down syndrome.

Yeah.

Like, if you can tell, like I said, there's something very faint.

Maybe she's like, I think they call it mosaic,

where

it's not as severe.

Okay.

And they look rather like, you know, like, you know, you and me.

You know, I keep trying to avoid saying the word normal.

I know.

Well, yeah, of course, of course.

All right.

No, I was just curious.

I i didn't know you know what i mean it was such a shocking

it's so unheard of which i guess she's breaking boundaries and stuff like that it's just unheard of to me so i was genuinely like i didn't even have an opinion on it besides like i gotta hear what you think because you're you know your daughter yeah i think with special needs people there's there's a

there's a feeling of like we can do

Don't count us out.

We can do anything that you can do.

Right.

You know, as a regular person or whatever.

Not always the case.

Right.

But sometimes in this situation, I mean, she's hot enough.

Right.

She seems to know what she's doing.

I'm just playing up to the camera.

See, I don't look at her as hot.

It's hard for me.

Like,

I can't do that.

I know that's not.

I know you're not saying she.

But, like, yeah, it's like I can't.

There's a barrier there.

Right.

But shouldn't there be?

For me?

That's the question.

Yeah.

Why?

Why are you not letting yourself be

to enjoy her just as much as you enjoy the other models in the catalog.

I mean, cute, look at the boobs.

Yeah, I hear you.

I don't know.

I just.

You know, from the neck down, you would be

like he just gets into it, right?

I think it's that picture that.

Go back to that other one.

Yeah, that one.

I think that's the one that

would throw you off.

Yeah.

Because her face is looking a little bit

downsy.

I don't know how to get around saying this shit.

Yeah, I guess maybe we shouldn't have even brought it up.

It's me, I'm just like, I don't know.

Like, I've spent four decades of my life being like, Victoria's Secret models, and but which was there, they did that.

They're like, look at how sexy they are.

Look at the angels.

This is it.

This is all this, the sexy stuff.

And then they're like, then they throw a curveball, and I'm like, well, I can't feel about this the way that you've been training me to feel about Victoria's Secrets all these years.

So

I need some guidance and clarity.

But I guess there's none to be found.

All right.

Well, you know, I hope she gets everything she wants and good for her.

I was just,

I was surprised to hear about it.

Do they make good money?

I got them soon, so, right?

I mean, oh, if you're a Victoria's Secret, yeah, I would have to imagine they're paying her pretty well.

Look, she even got herself a boyfriend.

Yeah.

And he's got downs as well?

Yep.

Great.

These motherfuckers are living the life.

Well, there you go.

All right.

Well, then, that's who it's for.

I love it.

All right.

Mystery solves.

There you go.

I got shaken down for $2

by the kids' school.

They sent home this.

You tell me what you think.

They sent home this flyer, and it's the eighth graders versus the

teachers in a game of volleyball

during seventh period, which is like all the whole school's still in session at seventh period.

If you want to go, it's $2.

Okay.

What kind of school does that where it's like, if you want to watch them play, during school hours, if you want to watch these two teams play, you got to pay two bucks.

Are they raising money for anything?

Didn't it say PTA?

Didn't it say raising money for Lions Club?

Like nothing.

It was just like, if you want to go $2.

And I was so tempted to be like, fuck you.

You're not fucking taking my $2.

But Sage would have had to sit in class and knock onto the game.

But I resented him for it, man.

Yeah, that is odd.

That's hard.

I don't understand that.

It's not like an after-school activity, right?

It's during school hours.

Nope, not extracurricular, nothing.

They're just like...

Well, the money's got to go towards something.

Somebody's just not pocketing that money.

So I'm sure it's going towards something

for the students, student council, student trip, something.

Probably, but I'd like to know what.

Don't just tell me you're taking my $2

and not give me the fucking...

I'm sure a phone call...

Could have uncovered

where the money was.

Can you imagine?

Going to the Facebook page, maybe.

I need to talk to the principal.

But someone should, because the next time it's going to be $5.

Yep.

Then it'll be $10.

And what's the amount that you're allowed to ask questions?

As far as I'm concerned, $2.

But you didn't ask questions.

No, I just fucking forked it over.

Like a sap.

You showed your ass.

And it cost two bucks.

You presented and showed your belly.

Yeah.

Oh, rough.

My old job used to do that.

If you wanted to dress down on Fridays, you would pay.

What?

Yeah.

But then that would all go to charity.

What about Monday through Thursday?

No, you had to be full business attire.

Oh, is it a private school?

No, this was my job.

The horse.

Oh, your job?

I thought you said that.

It was NBA.

The bank.

Oh, where they locked you into the...

Yeah,

so on.

So you would pay money, and your biggest thing was you could wear either a polo or a shirt without a tie.

Okay.

How much was that?

I don't.

They would never apply to our department, so it never really.

I can't see you as a guy willing to part with money to dress down.

Yeah, no, you're too cheap.

No, we had a different uniform computer facility, so I just can't.

This is a guy that really it's weird things that like he'll spend his money on, but I can't see him getting to wear a polo shirt, you know, motivating him to give $2.

Spend a couple bucks, yeah.

Yeah, no, yeah.

What about you, Q?

What about Easter?

Your plans?

I didn't even remember it was Easter until you mentioned it.

Really?

Yeah, I have no plans.

My parents live in Florida.

You're gonna die any eggs?

I should, right?

Yeah.

Nah, I won't.

It's so hot in this room.

Am I going crazy?

No, it's pretty hot.

I'm like fucking starting to die.

I'm like wilting over here.

It's pretty hot.

The door is open, so.

Tell him, Steve, Dave, I guess so.

So we can start our big Easter plans.

Happy Easter.

Tell him, Steve, Dave.