#509: The Mooching Sack

I look through the peephole, and Sunday Jeff is on the porch, and he's crying.

I need to hear that, that snoring.

Not that, no, that's disgusting.

The United States is not those whiny fucking cunts online.

It's the guys in jorts with the rifles.

Tell them Steve Dave.

Hello, and welcome to this week's edition of Tell'em Steve Dave.

I'm here with a BQ

with Walt.

Yo.

With a rare appearance from Get Em.

Howdy all.

And if you hear what sounds like a hog farm in the background,

Stacy's here.

That's where I thought you were going.

And I heard you weren't going that way.

And I was like, I have to correct.

I'm going to cut him off.

Walt's dogs are here as well.

They're always here.

Yeah, look at them.

They are now become permanent fixtures

as long as they can remain behaved right yeah have you ever have you had to bring them home in the middle of the day because they just won't mind um

there's been times when i've been close to it because they no help

where's the water bottle spray

me well you came in here with shorts on man like you're showing off the goods

hairy legs and everything yeah

all right i tell you right now i got it they they get overly excited if you laugh so try not to laugh too much on this episode.

That's easy.

It is an energy that I enjoy.

Yeah, I was thinking the same thing.

It's nice to have the pitter-patter of paws.

It kind of humanizes the studio.

Yeah, it was so exciting.

I'm trying to see them.

Yes.

It's also nice when Walt and the dogs take a nap in the middle of the day.

They like to get on the couch.

We have a little nap time that I have to lay with them so they'll go to sleep and rest.

That's That's so nice.

And do you fall asleep too?

Sometimes I'll fall asleep too.

Really?

You don't seem like a napper to me.

No, I'm not.

Usually I'm not.

Judging by the story, he was asleep.

Wow.

So what do we got this week?

We got the dogs.

We got

a little, what we call housekeeping and weak business.

One thing for my buddy Carl, who does a podcast called Who Are These Podcasts?

He just hit number 300, which is no small feat.

We can attest to that.

So that's all I want.

I care.

You don't care.

In fact, probably nobody cares.

Who is this Carl guy that he's impinging upon my day?

Why do you know him?

What's so fucking great about Carl?

There was this time where we weren't hanging out and I met him and then we started talking.

That's it.

That's all.

Congratulations.

That's all.

300.

No joke.

300 Carl.

Yeah.

Who are these podcasts?

It's fun.

He makes fun of people.

He rips into Stuttering John on a weekly basis.

Oh, really?

At a certain point, I started living for it.

Oh,

cool.

I love it.

What is Stuttering John up to?

I haven't heard that name in quite a while.

He does, um,

he has, oh, Jesus, now the dogs are farting and shit.

I wasn't, I wasn't aware that was.

That is something that I have, have got to admit to myself that since I beat COVID

at a big price.

I don't, I'm not a super smeller no more.

Really?

Yeah.

It took away one of my senses, my the sense of smell.

I don't smell these

odors that you guys are claiming to smell that the dogs are.

Oh, yeah, they've been farting the entire time.

I don't smell it.

It's like I don't smell anything.

Wow.

Which is why I could take a name.

Get him, you lucky son of a gun.

Yeah, yeah.

It's about to smell it all day.

He looks up at me when I'm like, oh,

he's like, what?

I'll go, you don't smell that?

It's worse as when you hear it.

And he's looking right at you.

Yeah.

Over his shoulder.

He lined it up.

Fire one.

But Stuttering John does a podcast and he does something on Patreon called Beer on the Balcony, which like Carl will take

snippets from either his podcast or the Beer on the Balcony, which is a video, video podcast and videocast, whatever, and break it down as to like why Stuttering John is a complete idiot.

And it's pretty fucking accurate.

Really?

Like, just recently he did one where the, you remember, like, she's my cherry pie.

Warren?

Lauren, yeah.

Yeah, of course.

The girl Bobby Brown, who was the

model, the blonde chick in that, the cherry pie girl, did an interview with Stuttering John.

And when I tell you that

it's disturbing, like I lived in Los Angeles and I watched somebody jump off a roof and kill themselves right in the middle of Hollywood Boulevard.

Watching Stuttering John hit on this woman was more disturbing.

Oh, really?

Yeah.

It's really like, it's what I think every woman is like, that's what I'm talking about.

That kind of guy, really, yeah, like disgraceful.

And he's just like, he's like this ultra-liberal now who's just like still beating the fucking trump drum.

And he's just like, that's all he's got.

That's all he's got.

Well, he's trained his mind for four years, and I guess it's hard to let that go.

Right.

So that's the part I look forward to the most: just listening to him rip on Stuttering John, and then Anthony Cumia jumps into the fray, and other people get in on it.

Well, hey, so happy 300, Carl.

Happy 300.

And happy 76 to Pam Johnson.

Yeah.

Can you imagine?

Yeah.

76 years old tomorrow.

Years young.

Witchy woman.

Yeah.

She's been keeping up with that lately or has that fallen off?

She's more into like her book again.

She's been working on her book.

Get out.

Yeah.

She's into that.

And I don't know.

I went over there the other day to drop Sage off because Sage wanted to stay at the at Pebb and Edgar's house over the weekend.

And I found myself staying there longer than I normally would because usually I'm like, all right, see, I'm out of here.

But I'm like, Technical Sage, too.

I'm like, they're getting old.

Yeah.

You know, maybe I should spend a little more time than I normally would.

Like, Edgar normally, like, all he wants to do is talk politics.

Oh, God.

You know, and that sounds like a blast.

Yeah, it's pretty fun.

He's like, Trump.

You're like, god damn it, center it down.

No,

he's more on the conservative side.

I don't know.

What is a conservative or a liberal anymore?

I'm not really too sure.

I don't know, man.

I think most people are just in the center.

And it's just lunatics.

And they're afraid to say if they go either way.

I think so.

I think that's where we're at.

Most people just live in the center and there's some loudmouth crazies on the.

I think it's kind of defined by

which news channel they watch.

Right, if you're CNN or you're Fox News, one of them too.

Gotcha.

I go to see my father every two weeks or so, and the frequency in which he will turn off a movie to switch over to Fox News.

Oh, yeah.

And it's the same stuff over and over again.

And I get bored of it.

Yeah.

But, you know, but he's like, oh, have you seen this guy?

He's really good.

He's really good.

I don't know.

Well, the news is a little more exciting these days, right?

With the war rain.

Those motherfuckers, they're fucking.

They're showing the world something, huh?

That president, like, I don't really know much about him.

So excuse me if he has concentration camps in his city and I i don't know about it but from what i know so far it's like he's pretty fucking balls out that president of ukraine man as are his soldiers like i read that in somewhere like some tanks or something showed up and they're like make way and they're like go fuck yourself yeah the tanks are like boom just blew them up that was um it was an island that they have i think it's called snake island and there was 13 border people there you know to force the border and they got on the radio and said russian warships you know go was it ships that did it yeah and they killed they ended up killing everybody on the island why kill them?

I mean, that's the thing, man.

It's just fucking.

I guess it's war.

That's the whole point.

I think any president or leader of a country, if you're in a war, you should have to fight in it too, though.

Don't disagree.

I think if you're going to send troops in,

you're going to have to go fight too.

I don't know.

There's a chain of command.

Like, somebody needs to have an eye on every...

You can't, like...

Oh, whatever.

That's like saying, like, you should be cleaning up dog piss here.

There's a chain of command.

But, like, what if the two leaders got close enough together?

Then, like, the rule is, okay, now you got a box.

Well, then, what the fuck?

We got a fucking 100-year-old president.

We're not going to win.

But then we would have, but if we knew those were the rules of war in New War, is that it's leader versus leader, then we would have like nominated Ken Shamrock then.

Wow, President Shamrock?

Right?

I mean, then we would pick.

Who's this guy?

Didn't you like even fought in like a decade?

I was like, that is a name that got pulled.

Who's the guy with the

blue nail polish?

Is he even American?

Somebody.

I have to think he's from Ireland with his last name, right?

I mean, he's Irish.

He's got to be with that last name.

Liddell?

Is it Liddell?

I don't know.

I'm not too familiar with you.

Zeklin's like, we're a superpower.

Take over on Wireless.

Yeah, it's crazy.

Yeah, like I read it.

I read in the, you know, read about it in the post just because those are like the broad strokes.

I don't think I'm like gaining any real insight

or knowledge about the war.

And it really doesn't matter if I do or not.

What does it matter if I know about it?

Well, did you say they weren't allowing anybody

18 to 50?

59?

I heard, yeah, I heard like 60.

It was a weird number.

It wasn't 60, but it was like 59 couldn't leave the country in case they needed to fight.

And I'm like,

bro,

what could 60-year-olds do?

We don't need to fire a weapon.

60 is not that old.

Yeah, like we could, we could fire weapons, but if they're like, charge, I'd be like, oh, boy.

I could charge for a good 50 yards and I'm fucking done.

Then I just give up.

Well, it's a defensive position, so you wouldn't be charging, right?

And who do you put in the front then?

The 50-year-olds?

Anybody in there?

They're fodder, right?

And the 18-year-old's got to go in the back because

they got to

chew up the front line with the 50-year-olds, you know,

and then save the best for the last line of defense, I would think.

I guess.

I don't know.

So put our weakest up there to trick them, lull them into a false sense of security.

No, you're going to take

the 60-year-olds are going to take out somebody before they get mowed down.

Yeah.

Hopefully.

That's the thinking, I would think.

And you save your

most fit fighters.

You know, they don't go down immediately, though.

Because people in the front are getting mowed down

pretty quick, I would think.

I'll go to the front.

I would be good at

the guy being like, go fuck yourself.

And they blow me up.

I wouldn't be good at any of the other fucking though.

His last words were, go fuck yourself.

But it's looking like, you know, if things

aren't treated exactly, you know, perfectly, it could be World War III.

Yeah, I don't know, man.

I think Putin's overplayed it a bit.

Yeah.

I think the United States is working on a fucking comeback

knockout strategy.

Knockout.

I think this is the end for him.

For Putin.

For Putin.

He looks like he got a facelift.

He looks fucking 70 years old.

Dude, he does look very, like, his skin looks very tight.

I don't know if anybody hear that.

Socks just weighed in.

Yeah, I think he fucked himself.

I think him and his general don't come out of this.

This is how I'm calling this.

Okay.

Him and his generals don't come out of this.

And then possibly.

They don't remain in power.

They don't remain alive.

All right, who takes him out?

A Russian or a Ukraine?

I think the United States is going to have a hand in it.

Whoever does it, it's going to be the United States' hands behind it.

China is going to sell him out.

Yeah.

China's going to fucking cut and run.

Really?

So

everybody's pounding the drum that China's the bad guy.

They're going to come across.

It was all

a ruse.

I think China's actually our best friends.

Not our best friends, but I don't think that China and Russia have the relationship they think they have.

I think they're going to, Russia's going to bungle this so fucking much that even China is going to be like, all right, fuck these losers, and then back away from it.

I think Putin and his generals are out.

I think we got a true democratic

government in Russia.

And within the next 20 years,

Russia becomes one of the brightest fucking stars on the planet.

That's what I think.

I think they become our best friends, and it's a whole new world.

I think it's going to go the other way, the opposite of World War III.

What about the rumors about China going after Taiwan and using

that?

Yeah, I don't have the information on that yet.

I can't read that yet.

That's how I see this going.

That's a very

optimistic, you know, bright, cheery.

Everything's wonderful outlook, though.

I like the Russian people.

Oh, yeah.

I mean, it's not the the people, it's the government.

That's what I'm saying.

Yeah.

But for everything to work out the way that you're calling it,

would absolutely be so great.

I mean, do things ever work out that way?

No.

We're sitting here bullshitting about it.

No, but I think there's a good chance that that's the way it goes.

This is already not going the way he wants it to go.

What's the fucking point of this?

It's a maniac maneuver from a fucking maniac.

Well, I think it wasn't.

If I'm correct, I believe what I read, what I saw was that the whole reason was he was like, when the Soviet Union broke up, he's like, that never should have happened.

He's like,

well, like,

we should have had the Ukraine to begin with.

So I'm just going back to take what should be ours anyway.

It seemed like that's the direction he was going.

Yeah, it's...

It's a fucking wacky situation, man.

It's horrible.

It's just horrible.

I never thought we'd see this again.

Well, it seems like, yeah, we can't go very long without,

you know, having to deal with something along these lines somewhere in the world.

And it's like, it's, it's, it's like not just invasion, like, it's war war.

Like, you see the sides of buildings blown off and like

civilians all bloody and bandaged and shit.

And they're like telling, they're telling civilians, like, hey, man, make some Molotov cocktails to fucking light these bitches up when they come into town.

Can you imagine if somebody said that to you?

They're like, they're going to be rolling through Staten Island.

Mm.

What else are you going to do?

You got to roll over.

Right.

That's where you get your old people.

You put them on top of buildings with some Molotov cocktails.

Unfling them.

And yeah, just drop them down on the tanks as they roll through.

Yeah.

Yeah, but I think you're going to say, like, I think this is going to...

I have a really rosy outlook.

I don't think the world's going to be fun.

I think the United States has gotten, has been clowning itself for the past 10 years.

Like, we've been clowning ourselves.

We've been making ourselves look like idiots to ourselves.

Oh, this has all been a ruse.

No, I don't think it's a ruse, but I think like people are about to be reminded why you don't fuck with the United States.

You don't fuck with the tiger.

You do not.

You don't fuck with a bear.

Russia told us.

He looked at our fucking social media feeds and was like, fucking pussies are right to push around.

But he doesn't realize that.

And most people aren't on Twitter.

It's like, this is where he's going to find out that no, the United States is not those whiny fucking cunts online.

It's the guys in jorts with the rifles

coming up on the rest.

Yeah, I do.

I think that I think this is going to be a positive turning point for humanity.

Are you worried about the cyber attacks, though, that we're being threatened now?

Do you have any emails that you would not want to see get out there if they go after emails again?

No, I don't think so.

I will say this: I think that people, because the United States doesn't talk about their black ops.

Like, I don't think Russia knows.

I think we're going to fucking out-hack Russia if we need to.

Well, supposedly, the anonymous has been going after Russia already.

I just don't understand, like, what

do they hope to accomplish if they're like

revealing and releasing like BQ's emails?

Like, what do they hope to do?

No, celebs.

What do they hope to achieve?

Remember, Korea released all the celebrity emails?

Was that Sony's emails?

That was Sony's emails.

Sony hack, yeah.

Yeah, so they could do that again.

They could release just like, let's just release all the celebrities' emails.

I mean, they could release one.

does it include the nudes huh does it include the nudes that they send that the emails well i mean i mean if that would be the only benefit yeah yeah that would be the only thing that i would be interested in who cares about the the the the incredibly boring drama of like

feeling like celebrities being uh yeah you're just disrespected not having a not having a movie open as well as they're right like fake quotes on on posters and shit all you have to do is search dot jpg and that's that'll that'll tell you everything you need to know.

I've heard Pornhub, it took a very big step in that they've completely blocked off Russia from their services.

Oh, really?

And if you're in Russia and you go to Pornhub, it just shows a picture of the Ukrainian flag.

Oh, wow.

Really?

I read that

the Russian soldiers are hitting up Tinder looking for Ukrainian sluts.

Really?

Yeah.

Swiping right all over the fucking world.

Yeah, what is it?

I wonder if you can backtrack that.

Like you know exactly where they are based on, you know, like where it says, oh, he's two miles away, he's three miles away, and they triangulate it.

Right.

And that's what brings down the.

Yeah.

Speaking of tender.

He doesn't like it, huh?

The squirt of the water?

Yeah, we're trying to break him of that.

That hump.

How old is he?

He's a good seven years old.

He seems fully committed.

It's hard to teach an old dog new tricks.

That saying

has stuck with us for a reason.

Yeah.

It's very difficult.

Literally, you cannot teach this dog new tricks.

The other thing I wanted to say, real quick, was: while you're farting around with Letterkenny, I've been watching Murderville, two episodes which were directed by our good friend E.K.

Boris.

Boris, right?

Yeah.

How are they?

Good.

I like the show a lot.

It's only six episodes, and they're only a half hour each.

I saw the Conan one.

I watched the first one.

It was fucking funny.

It was really funny.

Yeah.

Was there anything funnier than when he pulls the quarter from behind his ear, Will Arnett's reaction?

Yeah, Will Arnett's great.

Yeah, it was good.

The Conan one was really funny.

Yeah, so I recommend the

show.

The other one was Annie Murphy was another really good one.

Oh, really?

Yeah.

Yeah, from Washington.

She was very good in it from

Shit's Creek.

Yeah.

She was very good.

And let's see, what else do I got here?

That's it.

Billionaires, and me and you were wrong.

We both agreed that Bezos was the richest guy in the world.

It was actually Elon Musk, followed up by some other guy.

And then Jeff Bezos.

Only the third Waltz.

Yeah, that's it.

He's only the third.

Yep, just the third riches with his fucking yacht and piss all over it.

And that is it from my notes.

That's your notes.

You're going to have the

upraising

that picture you sent us today about.

Oh, about be careful of your Fae laundry bags.

Yeah.

I was on Instagram the other day and I happened across a get them post where it looked like some old lady's handbag had been torn apart.

Oh yeah, let me see this picture.

And it turned out it wasn't, it was Gidham's, your laundry bag?

Yeah, my laundry bag, yeah.

Yeah, it's a very beachy, florally laundry bag.

I think it's a hibiscus flowers.

Yeah, I wouldn't even say beachy.

Beachy's giving it too much cred.

Yeah, it's like a Hawaiian shirt or anything.

That looks old lady-ish right.

Okay, all right, all right.

Like you could buy that used at a church bazaar.

I'm just surprised that Giddam does laundry.

I was really sun shocked by that.

Yeah.

Well, you heard the

on, well, you'll hear it on Patreon soon.

His tale of dimes and quarters.

Oh, that's getting changed for the fucking.

But you would have thought, like, look, I get it.

The dog got into the bag and put a little teeny hole in it.

There was three different holes in the bag.

It looked like it ripped the handle right off.

That's the other thing, yeah.

It doesn't look usable.

Plus, a hole in my towel and into the waistband of my sweatpants.

But the way you acted as if like Cooper chewed up your vintage Michael Jordans.

Oh, to you he does?

Yeah.

Like you thought this bag could be replaced for less than $2.

Okay.

Which I did.

Replaced it.

Which is a story in and of itself.

Why?

Because you said that this bag was...

Yeah, it's unmasculine, I thought.

Yeah, and then the one you bought me was even more unmasculine.

Yeah, because

I figured that's the way you were.

That's your style, man.

This is Hawaiian.

Like I said, if Dog the bounty hunter was carrying this bag, would you tell him that it wasn't man?

You know what?

You're right.

It is who's carrying it that

probably matters more than the bag itself.

But you don't need to be carrying anything unmasculine as it is, though.

Dog can fucking make that mistake.

And he could carry, you know, he carries it well.

Yeah, you're sending a message.

But yeah, you would have thought, though, that he destroyed something priceless.

The way he's got tears in his eyes.

No.

Did his eyes get glassy?

Oh, that was my bag.

I've had it for five years.

That bag survived the fire.

Yeah, yeah.

But you do this with all of your items, though.

You ran back into the house to get it.

Not just the bag.

An old piece of Tupperware is like, it is like a relative passing,

if you threw it away.

You know, he puts these.

Well, a fucking old shipping cardboard box is like a relative.

Yeah, but I replaced the bag.

Yeah, you did.

But this was a gift from

my old manager at the back.

It wasn't a gift.

He said, You want any of this garbage that people left here?

No.

Take it.

That's what you said.

Get the fossils that found shit out of here.

He said that that was my mooching sack because at the end of the night, I would go around and mooch the leftover food from people and stuff.

Oh my God.

She gave me this.

What am I doing here?

Why am I here?

Mooching sack.

a mooching sack.

I would take it over to Debbie's at the end of the night.

So

we would have dinner.

What leftovers?

From the picnic area.

Right.

People come to the racetrack and they bring their own food or they buy food

from the snack stand.

And whatever's left over, if they don't throw it away, I guess he was part of the crew that has to clean it up.

And then his supervisor was like, hey, man, here's a shitty fucking

dollar store bag.

Any of this food that you don't want to throw away and you want to take home, throw it in this bag.

I've eaten food.

No, like

I'm having a hard time.

Like the steam trays.

They come like with steam trays, like sausage punch onions.

Yeah.

And rather than just throw it out, they'd stop by the guard shacks and

dump chicken nuggets into your bag.

No, you know,

it'd be like a half-steamed tray of chicken franchise.

A half-steamed tray of chicken franchise.

Can you fucking recreate that for Patreon gifts?

A mooching sack?

Stop banging on the fucking table.

See, I told you last week.

You told me I was a lawyer.

We got it.

We recreate the business.

How close were you with this supervisor?

Did he ever write you up?

No.

He never wrote me up.

He was one of the few that didn't.

No.

Yeah.

So how close were you with him on a scale of one to ten?

Pretty close.

He took me to a stroke club once or twice.

He called the stash once.

He called the stash once?

Because you remember that I worked there?

What was he calling for, though?

He wanted to sell something, but he also wanted to get up.

I need that bag back.

I tell you what, the bag that my wife picked out for you, that's more meaningful than that fucking supervisor.

I've always had you called in the past to catch up.

He told me to call him, and I, you know, and you haven't, right?

Yeah, I haven't.

Where is that bag, the torn-up bag now?

Uh, it's back at Debbie's.

Because I know you could have just

throw it away.

Well, no, I had to, I was doing laundry, so I had to put my laundry in at that point.

Will you throw it away?

Honestly, yes.

You don't throw anything away.

Well, now it's not good anymore.

It's ruined.

It can't be used as a bag.

As opposed to all the shopride bags

that you bring in, they are still good.

And is there some reason that you're saving all those?

I'm not saving them.

I just didn't throw them away.

How long have they been sitting there?

Since I threw them away the other day?

Months?

No, not months.

Yes, they were.

Don't lie.

That's no.

Because

I use at least one bag every night to throw out my trash.

So,

and it's usually the bag I bring in from the liquor store.

Fuck your soul.

I know I was there for months.

Where did Deb get this new bag?

Walmart.

Yeah.

I told her

that the dogs had put a hole in his bag.

She was...

More concerned about it than I was.

I was like, I'll find him another piece of shit bag.

But don't you know that's his mooching sack?

Smells like chicken French.

i don't want to i don't like i said if it was something

significant i would have felt more bad about it i don't want to paint a picture of that i'm like oh too bad to see but like if it was something yeah worthy of the tears that i had to deal with like he acted like it was his adoption letter yes

you're talking about a cheap uh chintzy plasticky kind of like

like bag it's a it's like a it's a china bag yeah that like you could find anywhere for under two dollars right and you're he was treating it like i said like it was vintage air jordans that were like ruined forever you get attached to uh physical items more than people huh oh

i would say yeah

you would you would say yeah yeah

but it's not like

If it was spurred from a, like, let's say you went to the beach with your girl and she fucking drowned that day or something.

And you're like, oh, I want to hold on to this bag because it does kind of look like a beach bag, you know, just as a memory to her.

Yeah, but there's nothing even close to that.

I know.

I know.

I know he was mooching.

You know, it's just, it's something that I have.

It's, it's,

you know, I lost a lot.

It's, you know, it's, it's tough to lose.

You got a bigger and better bag.

Yes, I did.

Yep.

Yep.

Yes.

Can do more laundry than ever.

Oh, you're saying that since it didn't get burned up, you're like, oh, this is one of the few things that removed.

Yeah, yeah.

But what's the end goal of it?

Like,

is

and I, and, and this is something that I had to realize, because remember how often I used to buy like toys and statues and stuff like that?

And I kind of stopped because I got to a certain point where I was like, what is my end goal here?

To have this Superman statue until the day I die?

Like, what, what is it?

Like, well, yeah, but why do you feel the need to

dissect it to that deep?

Because I think like you should also just look around yourself and assess your surroundings from time to time, right?

Also, you're like, like when you buy that Superman statue,

it's that release of endorphins.

Like, it makes you temporarily happy.

And then later on, you realize, like,

why?

Yeah.

Why?

Like, I mean, it looks cool.

Sure, it looks great there.

But, but you're right.

Like, now I got this for life.

And then what?

That's what I want.

I don't know.

I don't know.

Nothing matters.

I'm so excited.

I used to get so excited when they made cool shit.

Right.

Like, you don't have that anywhere you find?

Well, now they make so much cool shit

that you're like, I can't.

So now if I see, like, they put out like a remote control batman like i i'm like i love that it's in the world what a batmobile yeah i like i'm loving that it's in the world you know what i mean but you don't need to own it i don't need to own it

yes i mean i think we all come to that

in some way shape or form i mean sunday jeff he he finally crossed over to the other side of the bridge a fucking he was he was a grade a example he was a junkie let's just call it let's just you know no

no no no shame in that you know he former junkie.

Wait, wait, wait.

No shame in it?

Because I remember differently.

Yeah, but he has no passion

for that stuff anymore.

Like, he doesn't, it doesn't excite him anyway near the way it used to.

But he's parsed down.

He still does.

He still does like books and magazines.

Well, no, like

I think it was what the animated X-Men

busts.

Yeah, but it's like going from like a $100 habit a day to like a nickel.

Yeah.

Sure.

I mean, look, every once in a while.

Why do we get that way, though, though?

Why?

What happens?

Is it age?

Is it...

I think it's age.

I think it's just like, it's not just the cool comic book stuff I'm collecting.

It's this, you know, gifts from family.

At the end, there's only so much room in your house.

And there was something, remember, it used to be when we were like, everybody's a...

I'm not part of a club anymore.

Like, when I was like reading comics and collecting all this shit, there's so much and everybody's got fucking things now.

I don't, I don't know, it's everywhere.

You feel the whole fucking cultural landscape is superheroes now.

So I don't know.

That's an interesting take though.

You're you're turned off by other people being turned on by what you used to be turned on by.

Yeah, I mean,

well, especially when they're ruining it like they are, but yeah.

Well, we got the screen going here.

A rare appearance by the Fons on.

Shirley.

Making out with they both want to bang the Fawns.

Have you ever had a girl fan herself after kissing you get them?

Or fan you're sent away?

I'd like to think so.

Was Laverne, Penny Marshall, was she a lesbian in real life?

I don't know.

She was married.

She had orders and weird shit like that.

Wasn't she the one that came out years later and was like, she was married to Gary Marshall?

No, that's her father.

That's her father.

Yeah, that's her dad.

It was something with her where like she was in a marriage or something that

she was swinging?

They were like forced.

She was like kind of pressured into weird sex stuff.

I wonder if you're confusing Penny Marshall's friendship with Rosie O'Donnell to be more than it was.

Maybe, yeah.

I'm like, they're friends.

They must be gay together.

I love the Fons like everybody does, but he looks like he's almost 40.

No, he does.

He looks fucking fine right there.

I'm not saying he doesn't look good, and I'm not saying I don't love him, but he doesn't look like it.

Isn't he he supposed to be like in his 20s?

He looked like he was definitely in his 20s right there.

What's the matter, you Viku?

You don't like collect anymore, and now you're back in the fonts.

I love the fonts.

What Henry Leclerc did?

I love the fonts.

You're telling me you've never looked at the fonts.

I've been like, he looks a little older than the character

compared to the other characters.

No, I think he looks in the same age range.

I start the sentence and then I bite my tongue.

Oh,

this is Lafon's illegitimate child.

Yeah.

This is distracting, man.

Now you're making up dialogue for ourselves.

All right.

No more, no more Fons.

LaFonz is off.

All right.

But yeah, but

I think, though,

that

the dogs being here, if you could put aside the hole in the bag, getting a brand new bag, you benefited in that equation, I think.

Getting a bigger, better bag.

I think, though, that the trade-off is, again, having the little pitter-patter of paws around the house

makes it a better, more enjoyable workday, I would think, right?

Now, are you going to claim that I am jealous of your dogs?

Absolutely.

I find it, I find

it just like that you get that kind of like because then you start giving socks more attention because of what Cooper did to the bag.

Yeah, because Sox just sits there and looks cute and it doesn't miss.

Before the hole in the bag, you are like all about Cooper.

First, it was Tom that displaced him.

Now it's a couple of dogs.

Well, I think I treated them the same.

I bought treats for both of them.

You did.

Yeah.

But you didn't.

I bought beds for both of them.

I bought food bowls for both of them.

You did.

A water bottle.

But then now, since the hole, though, in the bag, you've been cold.

Do you harbor a little resentment?

Definitely does.

Yes, he does.

Now, that's, to me, is

immature.

It's.

Don't get a mean to the dog.

Don't just be in a dog.

I'm not being mean to a woman.

But he's not being as affectionate to the dog as he once was because of the hole.

To me, that's insane.

And you guys have a water bottle to

just

fire two and fart under the table, so it just wasps out from under the table into your mouth.

And you guys have a water bottle to correct Cooper from humping legs.

Yeah, and when I'm doing it.

That's the only way we'll use him for no other reason.

If I saw him ripping a bag and ripping a hole in the new bag, I wouldn't even score him with the bottle.

It wouldn't be worth it.

No.

it's only for hump and legs that's it

well when i when i asked you about the use get him did he was like get him in the face get him in the face

but yeah he he has uh a little bit of resentment towards the dog because of that which i find to be

absolutely just like shows the level of what we're dealing with here

Yeah, to resent the dog is a little, it's a little odd.

It's his dog being a dog, man.

Yeah.

Like, I would read, like, if he chewed Sage's foot off when she was visiting, like,

then I'd have some resentment, but a bag.

I don't think there's anything that I own.

Are you annoyed at him if you find out that he's coating his bags in

chili pepper and stuff like that?

So when the dogs bite into mouth, that's all I'm doing.

I thought about it because I have some stuff in

my desk drawer.

Some chili pepper?

No, some like, yeah, a hot pepper extract.

That dog doesn't usually chew, though.

I'm sorry.

It was just a one-time incident.

Do I have to bring the football that's sitting sitting over there over here?

That is a ball, though.

If you throw a dog a ball, some dogs are going to.

What's that dog biting that ball for?

Exactly.

No, he'd chew it.

You could see it.

But he doesn't know he's not allowed to chew the ball because I let him chew balls at home.

I let Mary Beth do the same.

He went after your wife's puppets.

She thinks they're toys.

She sounds just like Cooper when she does it.

Oh.

Wow, a lot's going going on over here.

I think

just that.

I mean, you don't have to keep the sound on, but I do think you should have a webcam

in the office.

I've been trying to find, I have a...

For the dogs.

I have a Waze cam that I'm trying to find.

It's in one of my boxes.

I mean, they're probably pretty cheap.

We can get you one for like 30 bucks or something.

No, I know I have one.

I know I have one.

And what will you mean?

Just keep the dog cam?

And just live stream, yeah.

I'm okay with that.

The dog cam.

Yeah, you don't have to put the sound on so you guys could talk about what.

You can still berate Giddam.

The labor laws will come into play.

Well, turn the camera on.

Walt's shoving his nose in it.

So, like, ants could tune in and see Cooper and Socks.

Where would we post this, though?

I think you can do it on YouTube.

You could probably on a website.

Couldn't Tommy Lincoln just do it?

I'm sure he could.

Yeah, I just curious.

I don't know.

Do we have to create a whole new website or can it be on our website?

It could be on a website.

Because you know how I watch webcams.

That's one of my my little hobbies.

Let's do it, Giddam.

Let's get that up and rolling by next week.

Nice.

And that's free.

That's free for everybody.

Yes.

That's why I said I think we can.

It's not a Patreon exclusive.

I think we can do that on YouTube.

We'll save.

I'll call all the best footage, though.

Like, if he destroys anything,

play anything of Giddams.

I'll save that footage.

We'll put a loop together.

We'll put a

super cut.

We'll put that on Patreon.

Got to charge for that, though, right, Q?

Yeah.

So if my stuff somehow migrates from one room to where the camera is

yeah

uh i want to read an ad real fast oh we have it's the first ad in a while

and it's not it's uh it's an ad too really yeah oh i think evidently uh sunday evidently february is very uh light on ads the same thing happened last year she went back

she went back and looked yeah like for some reason people don't really advertise that much in february but i'm sure don't worry everyone we got ads coming up

but as for this week uh uh there's a new blue juice comic in town blue juice or blue chew blue juice

oh imagine blue chew made their own line of comics it's like everything's about getting boners

the wild

the wild west has never been wilder introducing billy the kit a five-issue miniseries featuring a swiss a gun-slinging rabbit seeking revenge against the tornado god that killed his family with the help of luther the goat a profanity spewing martial arts master billy relies on faith magical firearms and kung fu to wage war against the pagan gods and monsters of a bygone era.

Era, not area, sorry.

Co-created by Ringo Award-winning writer Justin Gray, who wrote Jonah Hex and Standstill.

And artist, our boy, Barry McLean Jr.,

who worked on Anaboni and Cube All with digital paints by Stamit.

Okay, now you're asking a lot of me.

This is some Asian name that I can't pronounce.

Slamit Mujio.

Sorry.

Okay.

Sorry, Mr.

Mujio.

And edited by comic bookman Tom Mum.

Comic bookman alum Tom Mum.

The Billy the Kit volume trade.

Jesus Christ.

The Billy the Kit Volume 1 trade is in this month's previews catalog.

So order now from your local comic book store or go get issues one through five directly at shopbluejuice.com.

All right.

Go do it.

Barry's a good guy.

Yeah.

And a great artist, like an amazing artist.

He contributed to the coloring book that we put out a couple months ago.

Yeah, he's a great artist.

You have some of his original art hanging on the walls of the studio.

Oh, I love those.

He did those?

Yep.

Yeah, he's great.

Pick up Billy the Kit.

He apparently did a piece of crumpy artwork.

He did a picture of

it.

It's on the internet somewhere.

I want to find that.

Now, do you want me to read something that I was told to read?

By our social media director.

We have the social media director.

No, no, no.

That's Mary Beth.

Oh, okay.

Yeah.

What were you told?

It says, well, she said she gave me the Barry's thing.

And then she said, also, I did some social media stuff in there for you, too.

So it says T-E-S-D.

And then in parentheses, it says personalize.

Now, I don't know if she's fucking with me because it always says personalize in the other ads.

Yeah.

Or if she's trying to write it like the...

Like the actual copy.

Like ad copy.

Yeah.

If you're enjoying this show, check us out on Patreon.

There's hundreds of hours of audio.

Gain access to this content for only $5 a month.

Probably thousands.

You're right.

You spend more than that on a bagel.

Oh, now she's taking a shot at me for because I recently complained to her about a bagel costing $1.50.

Oh, but I thought it should be cheaper.

Exactly.

Are you on an all-bagel?

Are you on an all-bagel diet now?

Yeah, when I went to the doctor, they're like, bagels only.

No, because he was a Jewish doctor.

I meant because of the

stomach issues recently.

No, no, it was because I went to the bagel store recently and I picked up a couple of bagels.

Now I'm talking without cream cheese, mind you.

These are the things I have to think about.

That's a lot.

These are things I have to think about.

Yeah, $1.50 for a bagel.

75 cents seems to...

I mean, I guess I'm just...

Maybe a dollar.

A dollar if it's like a fancy bagel, like a garlic or an everything.

Yeah, something with a little pizzazz to it.

It's a fucking jersey bagel.

Yeah.

Oh.

Oh.

I was surprised.

I was like, this is the kind of thing that's going to make me not want to eat bagels.

Are they inferior to Staten Island bagels?

Everywhere is inferior to New York bagels.

Staten Island.

bagels.

Staten Island's got great bagels.

Bad North has better, you would think.

What makes it better?

Is it the water?

The water.

You guys got better water?

Yeah.

That's what I've heard.

I've heard the same.

I wonder why.

They take that water.

They take it down south to Florida, a place in Florida, bagel places.

Import out water.

Water is so important.

That's why Anheuser-Busch is in New Jersey and near Nork.

Because that water goes into the beer and makes it taste better.

Well, it's fermented and all.

That's all different, dude.

Still put water in it.

Yeah, that's great.

So they can adjust it.

I know fucking about beer, dude.

They have to adjust the recipe for every different region they're in to make it taste the same.

Tell them it's a beer business.

Get them to go.

Go ahead.

I'm telling them why the water in North Jersey is better than that in New York.

But it's not.

It is.

Do you have any sympathy now about that bag?

I never had anything to do with it.

Now I wish you never replaced it.

I got my hometown pride.

He's got his hometown pride.

Oh, boy.

Yeah, eat that bag.

Eat that

I think that we've created a little almost like a TSD Netflix with the Patreon, right?

I mean, you have some of the stuff that's so much shit on there to go back on and watch.

You know, I often wonder, should we take some of the stuff off because we're housing so much content?

Yeah, like, I think if you were to say, like, it'll be up there for a year,

I think that's fair enough.

I mean, there has to be thousands of hours of audio and hundreds of hours of video.

Oh, it ain't.

No, there's thousands of hours of video.

Of video too?

Oh, yeah.

And it ain't cheap

to

keep all that stuff up there.

So, what else did she tell you to say?

All right, let's see what else she said.

She said, you spend more than a bagel.

If audio is not enough, then there's a tier for that.

With six tiers of membership, you can choose what works best for you.

See us dress up, I guess she's talking about us, as the golden girls on Frank Five's Rewind or settle in for Let's All Go Toho the Movies with Sunday, Jeff, and Walt.

She didn't say anything about any of the fucking one that I'm on.

Well, you're on the go, you're on, you were on the Frank Five Rewind.

Yeah.

Yeah, I don't know.

Personal endorsement required.

I guess that wasn't a great endorsement.

Talk about your favorite Patreon show.

No, that's okay.

Check us out on patreon.com slash TESD or patreon.com slash telehemstevedave.

And then get all your TESD updates by following TESD Town on Twitter and Instagram.

Follow TellEmsteve Dave on Facebook and join the TESD Town group to chat with other ants.

Oh, it's a group.

Wow.

Wow.

And then she tells me to say thank you, Ants, for all the years of listening.

Now back to the show.

Oh my god.

That was pretty good.

That was a pretty good copy.

Oh, wow.

Turn against her with me.

Want me to squirt her with a water ball?

Yeah, in the face.

Okay, so Walt, you got something for us.

Oh, yeah.

We got a game,

a new game.

All right, this is cool.

I thought it would be nice to have Giddam sit in and play it where you guys try to

see how well you know me

because i'm going to give you uh two scenarios you have to pick which one i would go with

okay

um no are these real-life scenarios no these are outlandish scenarios okay but i honestly i wrote down like so before you could check my work here i'm the you know i chose beforehand you're gonna locked it in he's gonna see that i'm gonna turn it this way i know

he's prone to cheat he is yeah he'll win at any cost this guy and what else has he got he doesn't even have a laundry bag anymore.

Yeah, he has actually a better laundry bag.

Cooper chewing up that laundry bag was the best thing that ever happened to you.

Yeah.

So now, since these are based on your decisions, logic is out the window.

Well,

you come to the conclusion that you think I would choose however you see fit.

If you think throwing logic out the window is the way to go.

With you, I think it is.

Yes.

What's the name of the game?

Do you have a name?

Flanny's Choice.

Okay.

I love it.

So scenario number one.

Number one.

Involves Cooper.

Of course.

Cooper and I are on a cruise with Tom Brady, who just happens to be along with us.

The ship goes down, and I have one flotation device.

I have one and then I have another one.

Who do I throw the flotation device to?

Cooper or Tom Brady?

I think Cooper.

Well, I think with the...

You've pet that dog.

You've felt like how solid it is.

You would need like three flotation devices for that dog.

He's all muscle.

So's Tom Brady.

Oh, sorry.

My bad.

My bad.

See?

So you're talking about, okay, so you're on open water.

You have two flotations.

And the ship went down.

The ship went down.

Everybody else is dead.

Yeah, it's just me, Cooper, and Tom Brady are the only survivors, and we're trying to struggle to stay afloat.

I grab a flotation device.

I got mine.

I'm safe.

I grab another one.

Who do I give the other one to?

Can we ask questions?

You can ask them out aloud.

I can't answer them.

Like, what kind of flotation device?

Something that floats.

Of course, that's a fucking question.

How does that matter at all to the opinion?

It does.

It does.

How?

Depending on the shape of the object, the flotation device.

It's something that's going to float and keep you.

It's going to keep them alive.

It's one of the rings.

It's going to keep them on the

until another ship comes by and we're rescued.

It's one of the rings, but with the net in the middle.

There you go.

There you go.

Okay.

See, it does make a difference.

Okay.

This is a rough one, man, because that's your dog.

Yeah, I think, I know it's awful to say, but I think I love this dog more than I've loved any other dog.

Yeah.

Yeah, I love socks, but there's something about Cooper that.

He doesn't have the Cooper factor.

Yeah, I need to have him next to me.

I need to hear that, like, that rumble when he's sleeping.

I need to hear that snoring.

Not that, no, not that's disgusting.

It's the snore that gets me.

Oh, yeah.

It really puts me in a good mood and it's like relaxes me.

Mary Beth is the same way with the cats.

Like one of the cats is like,

It's like very soft.

You can barely hear it.

It is just soft.

You can hear it in the other room.

Like, Cooper's sleeping.

I got to go in there and sit down next to him.

My happiness.

I'm with her.

Like when one cat would just get on me and start purring, and you would just feel it through your chest.

And it would just make you want to go to sleep.

Ooh.

Okay.

So

you're talking about a human being.

You're one of your favorite human beings.

How can anybody let any human being drown?

over a dog.

I mean, human beings' life is always going to be worth more than a dog, right?

Not always.

I've had ex-girlfriends that I would see go plummeting to the depths.

What is my reaction when I return to land and I'm interviewed by the news coverage and they're like, you let Tom Brady drown to save your life?

How do they know?

Yeah, how do they know?

Did you tell them immediately?

Well, because when Tom Brady drowns and I'm the only survivor with the dog, it's going to be news.

Yeah, but every other person on this cruise ship also drowned.

Yeah, I wouldn't.

Like you guys were out on the deck.

It's not like you guys were in a rowboat.

Well, as Tom was going down for the third time, I got my cell phone out and I snapped a photo.

Oh, like a cell phone.

With his hand.

I got cell access.

I'm not going to call for help.

I'm going to post this photo.

But let's say, for the sake of argument, I get back to land and I'm the only survivor of this cruise, you know, and especially a cruise where a major celebrity passed away on.

They're going to go, did you see Tom?

You know, what happened?

And I tell my story.

Do I not say that?

Well, I was like a few feet away from Tom when he went to the moment.

Can't you keep that shit to yourself?

So you got to keep that shit on the lock and key, man.

Why you tell us?

You could definitely tell us.

But why, though?

Because some people won't understand, man.

They won't get it.

You don't want to be vilified.

But he'll show a picture of Cooper.

Like the news will cut to

a footage of him like

a picture of Giselle and the kids.

I mean,

I don't know if Cooper's picture is as cute as he is.

This is a human being.

How do you let any human being perish?

Well, how do you?

Did you hear them screaming?

Help me, help me.

You're going to hear Cooper fucking struggling and

but like, but it's, I know, but look, this is a hard.

This is why it's called Flain's Choice.

Yeah, this ain't the easy choice.

This is

why it's the, it's going to be one of our most beloved games.

You hear that?

Yeah.

I just don't think.

Oh, man.

I don't know.

It's a human being.

Shouldn't I give that flotation device to any human being that I see

flailing away, drowning in front of my eyes?

Over the dog?

Over the dog, even if it's my dog.

Not any human.

Logically.

Stranger.

Tom Brady's still a stranger.

Like Putin?

For now, he is.

Putin.

Yeah, we got to let Putin drown.

Yeah, you let him drown.

Can you do this thing where you keep the the dog on yours and you share it with the dog?

It's one or the other.

That's why it's called Flanny's Choice.

Otherwise, Sophie would have

kept the other kid.

And what are you going to do?

You have any other thing?

I mean, logically, you should...

Logically.

Logically, you should save the other person.

That way, there's two people that can try to save the dog and share the burden.

Tom's too weak.

I saved him.

He's very pliable.

He's sinking due to the weight of his Super Bowl rings.

Tom, you got a choice.

You can either live or throw away your rings.

Do you get like a quiet moment where you could like kiss Cooper goodbye before you send them to the consign him to the deep?

You're Davy Jones' dog now, Cooper.

You want to weigh in?

What do you think it's going to be?

He's not playing football anymore.

He's not as valuable.

Yeah, but he's still a father.

He's still a husband.

He's still a human being.

At the end of the day, isn't any human being's life worth more than a dog?

No.

No.

Not a pedophile.

Not a murderer.

There's plenty of people.

I can't do a background check on whoever's drowning in front of me.

I thought you said you're in your phone.

I'm not paying for those services.

That's true.

That's romantic.

You can't just, yeah, you got to, like, you got to actually pay for those background checks.

Yeah, that's true.

I mean, you could tell Giselle that, like, you tried to save him and maybe, like,

she'll adopt you into that.

How do I live with myself?

How do I face God?

God made Cooper.

But how do I face God knowing I let a human being perish

for a dog?

Plus, a dog's going to be like, he's going to be paddling a little bit, and then he's just going to sort of.

He can't swim.

He's going to give up.

He sinks like an anchor.

Oh, I believe it.

Whereas Tom Brady can be like, walk.

Exactly.

He's calling me.

He probably doesn't know my name.

He's like, hey, you.

Hey, guy.

Hey, I'm going down here.

Give me those two flotation devices.

I'm talking Tom Brady.

Yeah, I thought Tom Brady could just walk on water back to shore.

Like, what do you need to give a fucking thing for anyway?

I mean, yeah.

How do you know that Tom Brady's not going to turn on you?

Yeah.

Why would he turn on me?

I saved his life.

He's like, you fucking dog drowner.

Yeah,

he'll take the other flotation device and then go to land and then tell people.

Why does he need two?

Why not?

He's used to excess.

I can only go off what I feel, which is if I was on that flotation device with Benjamin and Tom Brady was going down, Tom Brady would still be going down.

I would not give up, like, it would have to be a family member to give up Benjamin.

And even then, it depends on which family member.

Who was the closer for the Yankees?

Oh, Mariano?

Yeah.

I love Mariano.

He's got to go.

Everybody's got to go.

A cat that's 175 in a human years.

For sure.

Yeah.

I'll like the ship that came in to save you was like,

oh, they got like

footage.

I'd be like, I don't have to tell you, man.

It's my fucking cat.

You don't like it?

Suck my balls.

I'll be villain.

You know, a lot of people would, I think you'd be surprised at how many people would be like, that guy's all right.

I'd do the same thing.

I'd be revered in certain circles.

I think you're right because if people get such a love and attachment to their friends,

they become true members of the family.

Yeah, that's how I feel.

But when you hear another human being screaming to help,

how do you let that human being perish?

How do you let him go down?

Well,

do I know them?

Because, like, Mariano, I know.

So that's harder.

Because you know what I mean?

Like, well, I know Tom.

No, no, no.

Like, I don't know.

I know what he would do.

I just know.

I just know.

I just know we hit it off.

He'd be like, you're my friend.

I'm sorry.

Like the fucking letters that people send me.

Okay, so

Mariana goes down.

But I know Mariana.

That's difficult.

It is.

That's a little more difficult.

Mariana goes down.

10 seconds later, he pops back up with a scuba diver and he's got a regulator in his mouth and his subsurfaces.

And this has all been an elaborate punishment.

How do you justify it?

What you're not getting, Giddam, is that I don't give a fuck.

I would come back to shore and tell them.

Mariano's not a good example.

Like I would, that I would, that I let Tom Tom Brady die.

I would come back and be like, I don't give a fuck.

That's my cat.

And that'd be it.

Okay.

I'll take

the slings and arrows.

You wait in.

Yeah.

But what about the guilt that you got to live by for zero guilt?

Really?

I got to save my fucking pal.

That's my friend.

You didn't sink.

Or did you sink the boat?

No.

But the person you let drown had a family.

Yeah.

That's difficult.

That is so, oh my God.

Emotionally, I don't know.

Well, his family's probably family.

fed because they were on the cruise, too.

Okay, so you're going Cooper.

I think Cooper.

Brian?

I think as much as you would want to save Cooper,

it would be the human element, the screaming and the like, help me.

Give me that flotation device.

Hi, you'd hear me?

Don't turn your back on me.

Where are you floating?

I don't think it would have anything to do with the Tom Brady idolatry.

I think it would have to do with just it's a person okay and that person can uh vocalize and express their fucking abject fear of dying the terror yeah tb12 you're going with yeah i think i would have to go

there's a shark it's chewing on my leg you got to save me

uh

logic now again logic says you save the human and together the two of you could possibly save the dog but

knowing you you you would save cooper save cooper huh yeah Two Coopers and a TB12.

Yeah.

I wrote it down right here, so I'm not making up an answer to fit

what was guessed just now, but I would have to save the human being.

I would have to.

I just could not live

with that day after day of hearing someone scream

and having to hear them drown in front of my eyes.

I just think it would be too difficult.

It would be even a stranger.

Even if it was a stranger, like it was.

I just would be like, I just could not deal with watching another human being perish in front of me that I could save them.

It doesn't mean anything other than like

Cooper doesn't matter as much as a random human.

It's the situation that you got to put it into.

It's like, I'm like,

yeah, I'm

dying right in front of my eyes.

Plus, Sam could get him like...

20 other French bulldogs that he could find

that is close enough to Cooper.

Well, their only chance of survival is in Walt's hands.

Yeah.

That's a lot to carry.

Yeah, I get it.

I mean, of course I understand.

I wonder if, like, but you would risk your life to save Cooper.

Yeah.

Like, what's the percentage that you're going to die before you're like, I'm not going to do it?

If they're like, there's a 50-50 shot, you're going to run into that building and save that dog.

50-50, you save it.

50, you die.

I probably would go in in a burning building.

Yeah, I would go in and search as long as I could before feeling I was going to to succumb to the smoke.

Two seconds.

You're like about

40-60?

40-60?

40-60 is still good enough odds.

I could be 40-60.

All right.

I like this.

This is how I like this.

Give me 30-70.

I still think 30-70, I still, I think I'm a 30%.

You're a 30-year guy.

All right.

25%.

I still think even with 25% odds, I'm going to roll that dice.

Anything lower than 20%.

At what point are we going to reach 100?

Anything under 25, I'm like, what are the odds?

What are the odds again?

I've gotta say, that's fucking ballsy, though.

A 75% chance of dying, and you still go in.

25 just sounds like one out of four people is going to do it.

You're right.

I have a one out of four guy, I feel like.

Yeah.

I'll pull that fucking fucker out of there.

Yeah.

What's he doing in there anyway?

Why is he fucking around in a burning building?

He's trying to get up Giddam's new bag.

All right.

So only Bry.

I feel Bry has a big advantage in this.

Yeah.

Known me since fifth grade.

He just has a bigger advantage, just solely based upon years.

All right.

Scenario two.

Two.

My house has caught fire.

Everyone's out.

But I can only save one item.

It's between my Marvel Masterwork collection, which is high-end.

Cooper.

High-end, you know, beautiful copies of

all the Marvel comics.

You know, they're usually run between anywhere between on the aftermarket, you know, then go for hundreds apiece.

or my wedding album

is your wife alive she's alive like i said everybody in my family it's this is solely now about um a physical item

i think you get that wedding album

i don't know he's put a lot of work into those marvel masterworks yeah but you can get you could buy them you can get them on ebay or some shit like that oh no no no not some of them some of them you have to you have to deal with this weird guy who comes to the store late at night and then sits there and talks to wall for two hours Oh yeah.

Oh yeah, the guy who had that one masterwork.

Yeah, there was one guy that had this one masterwork I could not find on eBay.

And he was like, well, I'm going to come to the store because I want to meet you.

And I was like, all right.

And he came to the store.

He fucking stayed there and wanted to talk to me for hours before I would sell it to him.

Before he would sell it to me.

Did you buy it?

Yeah.

Which one was it?

It was X-Men.

It was a very early volume of X-Men.

and had like issues 28.

The first appearance of Banshee

goes for like $600 to $800, even $1,000,

depending on if it's unopened.

And

I was really thinking at that point, I was like, I should have just paid the grand.

I've been done with this.

Yeah,

time has value.

Do you have copies of the wedding album or is that the only copy of the wedding album?

Only copy.

Nah, it's got to get those.

How are you going to run it out of that file and face your wife with an armful of X-Men, knowing that you're precious?

It's not just X-Men.

It's every volume.

Yeah.

What's that?

It's you and

oh, yeah.

It's pulling up wedding for us.

You had me scan it one time.

Oh, okay.

So it's in my cloud.

What do you so BQ has has weighed in?

His answer is locked.

The wedding apple.

The wedding album.

Yeah.

I just think there's a lot of expression.

Sentimental value is

more than a monetary value.

Well, one is irreplaceable and one is not.

So why would you go for the one that's not irreplaceable?

Brian.

Yeah,

that makes sense.

And I mean,

I've watched Walt's marriage since 94.

Yes,

I would describe him as pantsless.

You were in that wedding book?

Pantsless.

Well, she wears the pants, is what I'm saying.

I think that

he's still processing.

He's a motherfucker.

I think, yeah, as much as the Marvel Masterworks mean

the wedding album, well, when's the last time you looked at it?

Probably when I needed to get some pictures scanned for a gift I was working on.

He had to get him to scan them

a couple years ago.

Look at this.

Look at this picture, Q.

And tell me if you notice anything about me that would be worth mocking.

Yeah.

Yeah, but you have to remember, like, that's like

that.

That's how.

I took some lumps for something in that picture.

Yeah.

It's still, it's like, I can't believe you don't see it immediately.

Neck, you can't find it.

Well,

for the sake of speed, look at that thumb.

It sticks out like a sore thumb.

Somebody said my thumb was too big.

Said I ruined it.

It's massive.

I ruined the picture.

Not like, yeah, but not like, I mean, that thumb just is like, it's like Andre, a giant is like, holy shit.

It didn't strike me.

Photographers like, can you just tuck your thumb in?

Um, yeah, I think that you would, uh, for your the sake of your wife, which you love more than the Masterworks,

uh, marginally, maybe, but still,

uh, the Masterworks can mostly be replaced.

Okay.

Whereas the wedding album is done.

No, no negatives, right?

Yeah.

No negatives.

Oh, you know, if you made negatives, a couple of scans.

Yeah, really.

Oh, you smelly dog.

Go ahead, get him way in.

I say your masterworks.

Say the masterworks.

How come?

I think your wife will forgive you eventually.

Right.

But you would lament over those masterworks.

Even though some of them you haven't even cracked open, they're still in the plastic.

They're more valuable that way.

Yes.

Right.

You have fought in life.

Better out than in.

Also, I can't imagine that you can pull out the 400 books of Masterworks and not just slide the album in between two of them.

All right.

He's coming out with the second palette.

It would take multiple trips to get him.

So

check out my pants because I would definitely grab the Marvel Masterworks while we're going out.

Whoa.

And a heartbeat.

And what would be said to you?

I don't care what we said.

Why can't she go in and get it?

I would definitely get the masterworks.

They took me years to acquire pristine, variant covers.

And those photos were taking them, what, an hour or two?

Wow.

I'm impressed with the pants.

I got to say.

Wow.

Yeah, she doesn't listen, so

I don't have to worry about that.

But yeah, I definitely would do the Masterworks given that, like, you know, like some fire god is like,

choose this for the masterworks.

I would take the masterworks.

See, I agree.

Like, like, a wedding album, like Mary Beth had some made, and like, I don't look at them either.

Right.

And there, there are things that, like, in fact, there's lots of things that if the house is on fire, I would pass by the wedding album to go.

Yeah.

Like, I know what I looked like.

Exactly.

You can't remember?

Yeah, right.

What's going on?

So, oh, get him and briar time Q.

Oh, for two.

Yeah.

Lanny's choice.

I'm learning a lot, though.

That's good.

I like it.

It means that we still have room to grow.

Scenario three.

Do I wish for 10 great seasons for the Devils or 10 months of great success, of great success for Tellum Steve Dave?

10 years of...

Great seasons.

Now, I consider 10 great seasons to be at least three of those 10 years a Stanley Cup.

Wow.

Win or win the Stanley Cup.

Okay, winning.

And what does it mean for the other option?

How does that translate for us?

10 months of great success for Tellum Steve Dave?

Yeah, what's great success?

Maybe we double the Patreon

after that last ad.

Except for that last ad that Mary Beth put on.

I can't see how we won't double the Patreon.

Oof.

I think Tellum Steve Dave.

I would think, yeah, because he's not as into the devils as he once was.

Not nearly.

And does it mean anything if a genie is letting the devils win?

They're not winning.

He is wearing a devil sweatshirt, as we speak of.

Yeah, but you're not watching sports.

You're not watching sports.

You're just watching automatons win a pre-devil.

Then you might as well watch professional wrestling because it's all.

Oh, I know.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah.

I wouldn't consider a genie doing all this.

You know, in my mind, it was all, I would just

sit back and enjoy it, baby right but the reason it's happening is because your magical wish so it's gonna happen

all your the only suspense you have is which three years are they gonna win the cup as opposed to anything else like yeah that's that's still fun i would think though still fun trying to figure out you know what's fun is fucking double the amount of money you make in your

paycheck but only for 10 months 10 months no no no no that's yeah but why then everybody quits and the numbers yeah the numbers go back to where they were still that's your money as opposed to to the devil's money.

Yeah.

Yeah.

That's what I think.

And I think

Walt has a...

He cares about the people around him a lot.

I do.

Yeah.

I do.

And he would say.

I'm a perfect blessing.

I believe it.

I'm the curse.

The albatross.

Because he wouldn't see it as like, this is just for me.

He's like, this is going to affect my friends as well.

Yeah.

It's going to affect people that I care about whereas the devil's like 10 years I think he's finally come to the point now where he's like it doesn't fucking matter if they win or lose yeah

I've come to the I've crossed the bridge much like Sunday and Q about collecting

I've realized it's

meaningless yeah pretty much to some extent so you're going TSD I'm gonna go tell him Steve David I think it's more personal you going with TSD yeah I think so get them I'm going with the devils how come because you get 10 years

versus 10 months.

I mean, 10 months is over in one year, in less than a year.

And then he would have nine years of hanging your head with nothing to look forward to

versus if the devils are winning, you have 10 years.

Why the fuck is this the only thing he has to look forward to?

Like, once the Tom Steve Dave thing is over, he's like, I might as well die.

No, I mean, he could still do TSD.

It's just not as

popular.

It's as popular as it is like now.

Right.

But the devil's winning.

Which is popular, boy.

Yeah.

It is popular.

All right.

I would wish for 10

years of great success for the devils.

Wow, what a piece of shit.

I'm sorry.

I'm zero for you.

I would vote for 10 minutes of success for Tele Steve David for the devils.

Betting's legal in New Jersey now.

So we could just bet on the devil's.

But seven out of those 10 years, they're not in the window.

But they're going to go far.

They're not going to win the cup, but they're going to win.

Yeah.

Yeah.

I just feel that

even with 10 months of great success for Tellum Steve Dave, you're still going to read the fucking little piss ants on fucking Reddit going,

they still don't do this.

Oh, they don't do anything for the free show.

All they care about is the green trunk.

Even with 10 great successful months, you know it doesn't come with no fucking bitching.

We want to get him on, but now we don't want them on.

Now I know why we're playing this game.

We just got to the point of, this is the center of the Tootsie Pop right here.

We reached it.

But yeah, I mean, like, Giddam's right.

10 years is a long time to have something

to look forward to.

But

how could you care if you know they're going to do well because of a genie?

Like, why would it mean anything?

You don't know what those three years are.

Yeah, but...

And the games are still going to be a good idea.

Yeah, but he's saying 10 great years.

So even the non-Sanly Cup years are good years.

Yeah.

So it's just like, you just.

I don't know.

Yeah.

It would recharge my batteries for watching them again.

I just feel like it would get me back to that place where I used to be.

Him and Jeff.

Like a fucking maniac carrying a chicken around the living room.

Him and Jeff could talk about more.

Yeah, I just feel like it would be more beneficial to my state of mind.

I don't think so, dude.

I think you would just be like, I know they're going to win.

I know they're going to win.

I don't care.

No,

I would be fucking just sitting back and knowing like it's stress-free viewing

for seven for three out of those ten he's a tom brady fan that shows that it doesn't matter that the person's gonna win he's still a fan

yeah well you know what i i think that you stop caring and you only start caring again in the 11th year because then you're gonna be like i don't know what's gonna happen this could be getting exciting if you know that they're gonna do great i don't know

i'm telling you man 10 months is just like like you said it's like it's not even a year

yeah but so what yeah

you've spoken like a man with money.

I'm sorry, yeah, it would be the devil's 10 years of

great seasons.

All right,

oh, I like this one.

Yeah, nothing, yeah.

You're really so

get him is uh, get him cleaner up.

You're up on this, right?

You're like, this is what this is what happens when we spend this much time together.

Isn't it a great thing?

You have a choice to be recognized as either the funniest man alive alive or the most dangerous badass alive.

So either I walk into a room and everyone's like, holy shit, man, tell us, make us laugh, tell us jokes.

Or everyone's just like, oh, fucking bad.

You know, like,

like, I'm a fucking powder keg.

And everyone's fucking

scared.

Everyone's just like, like, it's, it's more badass than Ken Shamrock.

Yeah.

I like how he's the bar today for everything.

Most people listening are like, who's Ken Shepherd?

I think you take badass

over funny because funny brings attention.

Attention, and

so does this.

Yeah.

Yeah, but badass.

Like, I'm world-renowned as the baddest badass on the world.

Yeah, I think most people don't want anything to do with you then.

I think most people are like, But I'm a badass with a heart of gold.

Right.

I didn't say that.

Badass gets left alone.

Yeah.

He's more badass than Leroy Brown.

Sure.

Sure.

Or people

take that as like, oh, he thinks he's a badass.

Well, fuck with him.

Yeah.

And you're legitimately a badass.

Yeah, yeah.

Okay.

It's not on hype.

Okay.

You're not this bullshit.

I can back it up.

He can handle any beef that comes his way.

Right.

And most people are smart enough not to bother with the guy.

I'm recruited, you know, by Secret Service agencies.

They want me to be like a spy.

I'm such.

I'm like Tom Cruise,

Tom Brady.

Knew that was coming.

Ken Shamrock, all rolling in the one.

He's a triple threat.

But you can't tell a joke, though.

Well, if I do, everyone's going to laugh at it anyway because they're so scared.

Yeah, I'll take badass.

He's limited to quippy one-liners.

Like dad jokes and shit.

That everyone laughs at of fear.

Yeah, I agree with you.

I think the attention that comes from being funny, because then everybody wants to talk to you.

Everybody wants to be around you.

I mean, you know.

Oh, ho, ho.

You're expected to always be on.

I'm not even the funniest one.

You're expected to always be on.

Yeah.

Yeah.

And I'm the fucking

consolation prize when it comes to the Jokers.

Oh, I just.

You're the badass, though.

I don't know, man.

Maybe that's sad.

You're the badass.

I mean, I guess when you put it like that.

You choke them all out.

You could choke them all.

Murray's pretty fit.

Yeah, but you got muscle over him.

He's like, you know,

he's sinewy.

He is a sinewy, but he's a limber dick.

No, you know, no, no.

He's got a lot of power, that guy.

All right.

Murray's like, what were they talking about?

I have a limber.

What?

Call me a limber dick?

They're going to choke me out?

Yeah, but I think you would like the respect that came along with being a badass.

And like, nobody would

fuck with you.

and people would like more likely keep their distance, which is what you like in real life.

Right.

So, yeah, I would go with the badass.

Walk into any room, and it's like

people know not to fuck with you, yeah, or even argue with you.

Nothing.

What do you want, Mr.

Flanagan?

Yeah, but you say you're friendly, though.

Yeah, you're like you're approachable.

I help old ladies, okay.

Because when you got

it, you don't have to flex it, absolutely.

Orphans, you know, all that stuff that like guys with hearts of gold do.

like the United States just drops you in the Ukraine and you fucking push them back take

yourself yeah

I'm all the action heroes rolled into one I love it love it

I'm gonna say funny

because he's so contrarian

he's winning yeah I know no because

he has to back up his badassness but he can yeah but that still means he's gonna be hurting people possibly killing people.

That's okay.

Just fools that step to him, though.

Yeah.

Yeah, but you know.

You don't start none.

There won't be none.

Yeah, but there's people out there who, you know, they got a little screw loose and, you know, they're going to, you know, try to, they're feeling their oats, they're feeling a little froggy and they want to jump.

And he's going to have to,

you know, deal with that.

And that's, that's a lot of pressure to, you know, because he has a heart of cold.

He doesn't want to do it, but he does.

He has to.

Oh, I want to do it.

I want to break some fucking skulls.

Yeah, he's got to.

Just for once.

Yeah.

He's like a Superman.

He's constantly watching himself, keeping himself in check.

Don't do enough on the free show, huh?

This is a world of cardboard.

Can't hurt anyone, but you can take it, can't you, big boy?

Yeah, I think you, I think you'd be happier being funny.

All right, so we got badass, badass, funny.

Right.

Yeah.

Without a doubt.

I would love to be known as the fucking ultimate badass.

Every room I walk into, man.

I'm a fucking secret agent,

freedom fighter.

Yeah, maybe your wife gives you the pants every once in a while.

Just so you know, when you come into TSC Town Studios, I consider you the baddest mother in the whole damn town.

Meaner than a junkyard dog.

So you're on the board and Bry and Giddam are tied.

Are we tied?

Yeah.

What is it?

Three?

You guys got three each?

No, two each.

Two each.

They're only up by one on me?

Yeah.

Oh, I'm still in this.

You're still in this.

All right.

We only got two more, though, here.

This is a regular Flight of Gate game.

Yeah,

two for two.

Although the last question is not worth 10 points.

I can take a pill that will make me ripped and give me a Bruce Lee body forever.

But the side effect is I lose 50% of my intelligence.

Do I take it?

Ooh.

50% of your attempts.

Pretty smart.

I know you are, but still, 50% is like, even if you had 150 IQ, you're now like borderline retarded.

Forest Cup, I think, was

78.

I think Forest Cup was 78.

I just thought it couldn't come up with games like 1, 2, 3 anymore.

I didn't think it would mean that I wouldn't know how to open a can.

So a lot of you're just spinning it.

You can open up a can of whoop-ass, but you don't.

I didn't think 50% was all that big of a

sacrifice.

So now he knows what he's working with.

Yeah, like

you would drop down to the intelligence level where if you committed a crime, they couldn't execute you.

No.

Except to Texas.

I better move to Texas.

Really?

That's how, like 50%.

Well, how do you know what I am already, though?

I don't, but I'm saying, let's say you're even,

you're besting 148.

Well, average.

Well, average is what, 100?

111, maybe?

110?

Okay, then you can't even get dressed by yourself.

Forrest Gump's IQ was 75 in the movie and book.

So you're looking at having between 50 and 60.

So I'm a little bit underneath Forrest.

Forrest Gump laughs at you.

That's if you had 150 IQ.

People loved him.

That's what I'm weighing in my mind right now.

He seemed happy.

Right?

Look at me.

I'm fucking shirtless everywhere I go.

I don't give a fuck what people think.

I'm getting that fucking, getting that six-pack out.

The average USIQ is 98.

98.

Okay, so you're talking about 98 to 100.

About a 50 IQ.

Yeah.

You're a vegetable, for Christ's sakes.

No.

He's ripped, but he can't tie his own shoes.

He's over 100 for sure.

But like I said, even if he's 150, even if he's besting 148 over here, he's still at Forrest Gump level IQ.

Right.

So he's a little less than Forrest Gump, but he's jacked.

Yeah.

And he stays that way forever.

So no dementia.

Does he stay that way forever?

Yeah.

Yeah.

This is a permanent

state.

I got that Bruce Lee body.

Yeah.

Oh.

I got that.

I think you take

mind.

I think you take the pill.

Okay.

Yeah.

Could you still draw?

I don't know.

Can I?

Only with crowns.

Get them's on fire, too.

Oh.

I think I might even be happier, right?

Don't they say people who are intelligent are prone to be

more depressed?

More depressed, and they overanalyze shit.

Develop weird attachments to things.

Yeah.

I think you take it.

I do.

I do.

Okay.

I think at this late stage in your life,

you'd rather hold on to your faculties than be ripped.

Because, like, what good would it do to run around without a shirt on?

Like, because it's similar to the badass, except you're just like, you're just peacocking around.

Like, it doesn't serve any purpose, whereas your intelligence does.

Although

you're surprised that half your intelligence gone, you would be Forrest Cump does lead me to believe.

Well, I just gave myself way more credit, way more smarts than I think you guys did.

I could lose 50% and still be the same guy.

Right.

You know, that's in my mind, that's how things were working.

I just wouldn't be

as

quick, you know?

Right.

Yeah, that's all.

I'd lose a little bit of the quickness.

Okay, so that's different then.

Yeah, I didn't think I, yeah, I truly didn't realize, though, that it would be drooling.

Yeah, it's that's in a home.

Well, that's what I'm picturing is his wife.

Yeah.

Yeah, he's ripped, but she's got to like

travel drools and shit.

Autumn's wearing a bib and shit.

I don't think it's not like that.

50%,

it's nothing.

It's nothing.

It's 50%.

It's half.

God, the way you're fighting it so much, it makes me want to say that, like, you would take the pill.

Yeah, but he does that, though.

I know, I know.

Yeah.

That's why I'm not exactly sure.

I can't.

I'm going to go against my better judgment here.

I'm going to say that you're not going to take the pill.

I'm not going to take the pill.

Right.

That you would rather have your full mental faculty.

He wouldn't be able to help his kids with their homework or anything.

Tear out of school.

They could go to college.

Well, he might get college school.

You think he's going to be able to do that?

You can help with the college work.

No, I couldn't do that shit.

Like, sometimes Sage brings home shit.

I'm like, I don't know.

You could increase my intelligence by 50%.

I wouldn't be able to do that shit.

I'm going to say no pill.

No pill.

Why?

Because

you're in pretty good shape right now.

Oh, thank you.

And I think, you know, losing that.

I'm not sure Shamrock.

Have you ever seen Bruce Lee?

You ever seen him with a shirt on?

Yeah.

It's unbelievable that a human looks like that.

Very tight, chiseled, I would say.

Yeah.

Cut out of marble.

he's it's a different it's different than like the overly you know the veiny super poppy like balloon like muscles yeah yeah like an arnold leek yeah sinewy like murray like murray

uh yeah i just i think you the intelligence is more than you know brain over brawn okay

Everybody was kung fu fighting because I would take that fucking

scrow.

It's tied all around now.

Yeah, it's tied all around.

It comes down to the last question.

Look at this guy.

Look at that guy.

Yeah.

He never wore a shirt.

I wouldn't either.

Never.

And now, and supposedly, when he did martial arts moves on television in the movies, he had to slow down because the film couldn't pick him up as quick as he moved.

Do you know what killed him?

Did you see the he took an aspirin?

I thought he got punched in the stomach or something.

No, that was D.

He took an aspirin and it was so impure to his...

Shut the fuck up, really?

Yeah.

Wow.

It was an aspirin.

I'm not aware of that.

Yeah, look, can you Google that?

That's fucking crazy.

All right.

Final question.

Shit, man.

I should have went with my Instagram.

I was back in this game.

Yeah, you're back, baby.

Flanny's Choice.

I think it's a good one.

I think it's Keeper.

I like it.

I think it's here to stay.

Now, can we, whoever wins this, can get

a title until the next time we get a free laundry bag.

Like, officially Walt's best friend

until the next launch.

Absolutely.

Yeah.

No trophy.

Oh, they can.

Actually, we have a trophy there.

They can have that trophy

for everything.

All right.

It's Valentine's Day, and

it was Valentine's Day very recently.

And my kids are gone for the night.

I have a Texas Roadhouse gift card, and I booked a hotel room.

Hotel room when the kids are gone.

The specifics.

As I'm about to leave with the missus, there's a knock at the door.

Don't knock on the table.

In this instance,

it's theater of the mind.

It's the rest of the time, you don't knock on the table, get them.

I look through the people, and Sunday Jeff is on the porch, and he's crying.

Do I open the door or do I pretend I'm not at home and call him the next day?

It's Sunday, Jeff.

What leads me me to believe you're answering the door.

Yeah.

I think so.

I think you are a great guy.

I think you're a good friend.

I think you know there's no way Sunday Jeff's showing up on your door crying unless something's seriously wrong.

I don't even think you'd be able to enjoy that Texas Roadhouse meal knowing that Sunday Jeff is out there crying.

He's on the hook for a non-refundable reservation at a hotel.

And we can get out of the house because Jeff's out there.

He's going to leave eventually.

Yeah, eventually he'll leave.

He'll find someplace else to cry.

And as we've heard, though, I don't get to make the decisions anyway.

Deb, what should I do?

Sunday Jeff is crying.

Yeah, I also think that Deb would not want to see her man

turn away a dear friend in need and still want to enjoy his company.

Okay.

That's what I think.

Yeah, I agree with you, Q.

I think that as disappointing as it may be to see his big fucking

bloated fucking red crying face up through that people.

You're like, it has to be something serious.

Like he wouldn't show, like, fuck Valentine's Day.

He wouldn't show up here any day crying for no reason or very little reason.

Yeah.

And that road, that Texas Roadhouse card isn't going bad.

And you might be able to get a couple.

You could probably, who knows?

You might still be able to go to the motel.

We might just have to skip dinner.

Yeah.

Well, no, he does that classic trick where he has Demi call him like five minutes later.

Oh, yeah, I got to take this call, Jeff.

Yeah.

Something happened.

Yeah, I think you're too good of a friend.

I think that

any of your friends shows up.

You can get him.

Unless he's crying about his laundry bag.

I was like,

you know, it's about the laundry bag.

Turn the light off.

Yeah, I think you opened the door.

He sees a curtain smoking.

Just a shave.

Close real fast.

Yeah, I think you're opening the door to Sunday just to see what's going on.

Okay.

Yeah, you're going to help him.

You're going to help him.

I thought you take the opposite one because you're either in a three-way tie or you win.

No, I just, you know, I'd like to think that if I was in Sunday Jeff's spot, he would help me.

Can I change my answer then?

Just to be contrary?

You could, or it could be a three-way tie and everyone's best friends, and then we leave till we meet again and everyone feels good.

Yeah, but if everybody's special,

no one's special.

Okay.

So I'm going to change my answer.

All right.

I think you fucking go for the bone and go for the bone.

And Sunday, Jeff will still be there tomorrow to the bone in steak and the bone in the hotel.

Yeah.

All right.

Oh, this dog.

Jesus Christ.

Well, I mean,

he could technically give the hotel room to Jeff.

If Jeff needs it or something.

He's like killing himself.

And go to Texas Roadhouse because his kids are gone, so he can always go back to the house.

All right.

There you go.

All right.

It's a win-win.

It is Valentine's Day.

I wanted to make it sure it's clear.

It's Valentine's Day.

Very important.

Very romantic day.

It's a very important part of the equation, I think.

But your love for Jeff is almost in the same vein as your love for your wife.

Wow.

I would have not assumed.

Now I know why you're not married.

It's in the same vein.

I would have to open that door.

Yeah.

Yeah.

I think you knew that, Cube.

I knew that.

You wanted that fucking best friend solo.

You wanted it so bad.

Yeah.

We'll play it next week.

What are we going to do tonight?

I got a reservation at a hotel.

I got a Texas Roadhouse gift card.

I want to play Quinny's Choice.

I want to come up with something.

Yeah, I'll come next week with Quinny Choice.

I'll do six, yeah.

This will be great.

Oh, I love this.

I want to thank Tom.

He came up with some of these questions.

Oh, them.

The other Tom, not Tom Brady.

If Giddam and Tom,

you only had one flotation device,

who do you give it to?

Giddam's going to need four to five by himself anyway.

I think, as unkillable as I am,

unkillable.

I am that turd, that unflushable turd.

I'm only kidding.

I just want to see Giddam's face when you pick Tom, but I don't want to put him in that position.

All right.

So,

a brand new game.

For all those cocksuckers who are complaining that we don't do any games on it.

Even though we just fucking did an all-games episode of episode 500.

Right.

Right?

Not enough.

Yeah, that had to be what, only a couple weeks ago.

But no, it's never enough.

Do you think that maybe

you guys maybe just shouldn't look at

Reddit at all?

No.

Because if it's influencing the show now.

I always choose to have it influence in a good way.

Okay.

I thought this was a good episode.

I think so, too.

But

anger on the show.

Yeah, I mean, but motivated by spite, though.

It doesn't matter.

At the end,

it benefits us to

maybe sometimes be spiteful.

It's worked for us for fucking years.

You know what?

You're right about that.

Okay, fair enough.

Fair enough.

10 great years.

Mary Beth just texted me.

She said, for more games like Flanny's Choice, go to patreon.com.com/slash tell him Steve Dave.

Tell him Steve Dave.

Hey just wanted to announce some Patreon information before we end the episode.

First up for the $100 tier a poll was sent via email on February 25th.

If you did not get the email please check your junk mail or just go to the TSD Patreon site.

Click on posts and you'll find it there and that's where you can enter in what size jersey you're going to need.

Please, please, please do this as quickly as possible and I would very much appreciate that.

I also wanted to announce that the $20 tier gift for the new cycle that starts in March is a hardcover graphic novel that I did the artwork for called The Psychedelic Nights of the Fifth Dimension.

It's published by Blue Juice Comics and it's over 100 pages long and I'm extremely, extremely proud of it.

So if you are in the $20 tier or higher tier, you don't have to do anything.

Business as usual.

If you are in one of the lower tiers and would like a copy, you can hop up to the $20 tier in March and you'll be sent a copy in May.

I know we don't explain how the gift tier work,

probably since we started all this, but how it works is if you stay in a gift tier for three consecutive months, you unlock a gift or gifts that are sent to your home.

I did want to announce that this particular gift, the complete psychedelic nights of the fifth dimension hardcover, if there are any copies left over after May, they will be going up on the TESD website.

But as always, they will sell for exactly what the Patreon members paid.

We had to print a certain number of copies to get the costs at a price we could offer it as a $20 gift.

And we will probably have about 200 copies extra in May if my math is correct.

And before I go, I don't want to forget about the upcoming content on the Patreon.

Look for the second episode of the pod I'm doing with Dave Windorf called Third Eye Radio.

A new Frank 5 project with Brian, myself, and Giddam called Frank Five's Top 5.

A new Let's All Go Toho the Movies is coming, where Jeff and I watch Godzilla vs.

Hedora, aka the Smog Monster.

And speaking of Jeff, the return of the all-new Sunday Jeff show is in March, as well as a new Behind the Fake Counter, new episodes of Sunday Grinder in the Can, and coming as well, a new Get Wrecked with Timmy Hill episode is also completed.

And that one is where Brian and I chat about days of yesteryear when we worked with our boss and friend Timmy Hill at the Highlands Community Center.

And I think that's it for the updates.

So see you next week and every Tuesday.

Thank you.