#504: Gotcha!
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Transcript
How come you just didn't take lithium then?
I didn't know.
You didn't listen to Nirvana?
You give me a valid response.
You're so fucking smart.
Tell him, Steve, Dave.
Hello, and welcome to this week's very special edition of Tell him Steve Dave.
That's right.
We psyched you out.
We made you think that there wasn't going to be an episode this week.
And now here we are.
I'm here with BQ.
Hello.
I'm here with Walt.
Hello.
An extra, extra special guest, Dr.
J, is in the house.
He finally came to visit his parents for Christmas after 15 long years.
Piece of shit that he is.
Well, hello.
The edge.
Yeah, here he is.
Everybody loves you, dude.
I don't know why.
I'm not sure exactly why, but he's got this
following.
Oh, yeah, People love him.
Yeah.
Does Eric Johnson stand?
Yes.
Yeah.
They're standing him.
How's it back?
How's it being back?
How do you like it so far?
Pull that mic closer to you a little bit.
Yeah, so.
Closer even.
There you go.
Or just move.
Maybe just talk into the mic.
So
15 years.
I mean, I was back in August, but first holidays.
It's nice.
You know, I was surprised no one was fighting.
First year penny.
I'm going to cry at Christmas.
Why?
Why?
Where's my boy?
So, was this the first time in 15 years the entire family was under one roof for Christmas?
I'd say so, yeah, right?
Wow.
Yeah, I haven't been here in 15 years.
And nobody stormed out from under that roof,
which is another big thing.
Maybe somebody brought a calming presence to it.
Everybody was happy.
He did give us gifts that would sedate everyone.
What'd you give?
Well, I gave Brian and Darren both knives.
I thought that would go somewhere.
That was a weird gift.
The word sedate knives.
What, like cool, like meteor fucking metal knives?
Yeah, well, I gave him
like a paramilitary style knife, like little
one that I thought it was pretty cool.
And then I gave Darren one that's called like the mini bug out knife survivalist type of folding knife.
Do you see Darren as a survivalist type?
Like, let's say all this shit went down.
Now he's got his bug out knife, but it's for everything else.
Do you think he has what it takes to survive?
We went to the gun range the other day.
He wasn't hitting the targets too well.
Yeah, Darren is like one of those guys that's like more than any other person could probably survive
because he's very good with like mechanical stuff.
He's got a lot of useful skills.
Not like me.
Definitely not like you.
You could help people at least.
They're like, hey, man, I cut myself.
If you stitch me up, I'll give you some of my food.
Me, I'm like, how about I make fun of your mother?
Oh, anybody needs me and practically jokes
for food?
Yeah, I guess my psychiatry career would be over at that point.
I would have to move on to.
Yeah, you couldn't even prescribe anything good because all the pharmacies would be ransacked.
Yeah.
Or you'd be in the fields like picking fucking certain leaves and stuff and
putting medicine.
Trying to go old school, making potions.
Yeah,
he could start a medical school.
You'd be super useful.
Yeah, drain the battery out of the lithium out of batteries, maybe.
I'm going to need that.
Don't do that
to anyone listening.
Why?
What happens to you?
Well, lithium, it's like a mood stabilizer.
Isn't that an Nirvana song?
Yeah.
Well, it's about, yeah, you wrote it about the medication.
Oh, I didn't.
Oh, I thought it was just a song.
I didn't know it was a.
Yeah, that's what I take.
Lithium.
Oh, really?
Yeah.
Have you noticed in the past year or so how I haven't been breaking chairs and
flipping out at restaurants?
I just thought it was old age.
No, no, no, no.
No, I stopped taking it.
I'm back to my old
hijacks.
So you haven't been...
So the reason that you were
kind of like all over the place was because you didn't have lithium.
Right.
How come you just didn't take lithium then?
I didn't know.
I didn't really know.
But Nirvana fucking, you didn't listen to Nirvana?
I was a huge Nirvana fan, and it just like I just couldn't take my eyes off that naked baby.
Think about the songs.
Yeah, what is it about lithium that calms people down?
Like, what is it that they don't really know?
I mean, I could tell you a bunch of theoretical stuff, but they really don't know.
I think it was discovered in Australia in like the 70s in the water supply,
and there was like a low crime rate in this area.
Wait a minute.
And so they became
interesting.
It's natural.
It's not a chemical.
It's as natural as it gets.
Lithium.
It's an element.
And you find it in the water.
Some places, yeah, you can find it in.
Well, it's in the ground.
Do you get tired of like, because I've been grilling you about medical stuff, does that get annoying to a doctor?
Like, because I'm constantly asking you questions before we even started recording.
No.
Does that get annoying?
Because I know Giddam loves it.
Does this blue choice look legit?
I mean, I like talking about this kind of stuff.
That's why I started doing it.
So, all right.
I just didn't know if I was, I got, I was grilling him all sorts of shit, like about why can't we kill COVID?
And
tell them what you think, like in five years, what the COVID situation will be.
Kind of was kind of grim.
Oh, really?
Yeah.
What do you got?
Yeah, I just think it's probably going to be more like just more vaccines every year.
Yeah.
I know probably everybody's like, hate everyone.
I mean, I'm I'm like really I'm like I'm okay with that
wouldn't you rather just beat it like find some miracle cure and like we don't like we just eradicate it like polio or something that would be my first choice yeah yeah I'm that's what I would be okay with well I'm also
I'm also okay with a vaccine that prevents me like if I have to get a shot every year like I'm I'm okay with that I know a lot of people wouldn't be but I'd be like just give me the fucking shot
so I can go about my life I went to the doctor the other day and she's like do you want a flu shot and I was like no.
Why?
Because the last time I got a flu shot, it gave me the fucking flu for a couple of days.
Like, you know how
when you get a booster or whatever or you get your shot, it's like you feel sick for the next couple of days.
I never did.
Yeah.
You never did?
It's not possible.
I went through the ring.
What'd you say?
What's up?
They said it's because it's not possible.
That's why he's never experienced it.
What happened to you didn't happen to you, is what he's saying.
So what usually happens is someone goes in, maybe you're in a doctor's office, you're sitting next to somebody that's already sick, and they make you sick maybe when you're getting the vaccine, or you've already been exposed.
The flu doesn't, vaccine doesn't give you the flu.
It gives you the flu a little bit.
But the COVID.
The old no defense.
But the COVID one does give you a reaction, though.
Some people.
Yeah, so the vaccine, yeah, it can cause your
immune system to respond.
You want an immune response.
I just went through some rough couple days because of the shot I just got.
Yeah.
Yeah, I felt like shit.
I'm 99% better now.
Just got a slight buzz in my head.
Is it good, like the buzz I pay for?
Not like that fucking balloon gift you gave Bry.
It's not a good buzz.
Well, I don't know.
Maybe it is because you know how long it's been since I had a buzz?
I don't even know if I've ever been buzzed, even though I've tried a couple doobies back in the 80s.
Yeah.
Never had an effect, though.
Never felt anything.
But secondhand smeltry and around Kevin, though, I have felt like shaky, like, you know, like I felt the after effects of smelling after, what's it called?
Second-hand smelter.
How could you not, man?
And
I don't understand why you guys like that.
But not you, Kim.
Because it's not reality.
Gave you that look.
What are you talking about?
Yeah, because it's not reality.
It's not reality.
Isn't lithium enough?
Sometimes.
No, that's enough to stabilize mood so like there's not those highs and lows and shit.
But even if you're like at a normal, I don't know, it's nice to, like, it's like how some people are like, oh, I'm going to have a glass of wine at the end of the day.
It takes the edge off.
Yeah, it just takes the edge off.
I don't know why I have an edge.
I wish I didn't have an edge.
Well, I'd say it's probably you were born with an edge.
Probably.
Fuck a razor blade on it.
It's passed on to you.
From fucking Edgar.
I mean, Edger.
Oh, you want to know why?
Yeah, why do I have an edge?
Come on, Doc.
Tell us.
Well, it's because your arousal system, right?
Oh, yeah.
That's what sexuality is.
Like, when you're in childhood, adversity,
you know, you
set off kind of the fear pathway in your brain.
Pheromones?
And, well, yeah, like
steroids and stuff start to develop, and then it keeps you kind of like hyper alert.
You've been taking a little bit of hyper bitch.
I mean, he looks jacked since the last time I saw him, actually.
You should be on edge.
I was like, I mean, like, damn, you're looking like a lumberjack with that beard now.
A sexual lumberjack.
No.
But you never, but all I heard so far is he thinks the future is just of the pandemic is just everybody's going to get shots every year.
That's not that bleak.
Yeah, it's not that bleak.
I was told that we were like, Biden was going to beat it.
Yeah, you just threw his hands up.
He's like, I don't know what you guys want me to do.
You believe the politician, Walt.
I don't know why.
Yeah, you know, but
it's just to me, I was really hoping that there would be some sort of like.
Declan, can you put a snap in there?
I got you.
I mean, maybe it'll be
a vaccine that works a little bit better.
Hopefully.
I heard there is a vaccine that they have in reserve that they're just
haven't been released yet.
Is that true?
Or is that just
a little bit of a Uber important and wealthy?
I mean,
Q looks glowing.
I got it.
You guys don't get it?
Kevin was online next to me.
You guys didn't look at it.
Wow.
No.
Yeah, I thought that was kind of like not a great way to kick off the new year that, you know, that it's probably just more of the same for the next couple, for the next
forever.
Yeah, well, maybe, right?
I mean, they're definitely other people working on different vaccines now, right?
Like, that's got to be so many people working on that.
It's not going to be these three for the rest of our lives, right?
I mean, I would imagine that they are trying to develop more.
I mean, there was a lot of profit in developing these first three.
So
I think the government's got to kind of step up and try to encourage
these private companies,
are they dissuaded from working on it because of Pfizer and Big Pharma?
Or no?
Everybody can try to work on it and have the same access to information and research that
Pfizer and
the other one, Moderna?
Moderna
and Johnson and Johnson had.
So I think,
well, they, some of the researchers.
Are you allowed to talk bad about pharma being in your industry?
Oh, yeah.
I mean, I talk bad about pharma.
Okay.
I mean, I have no affiliation with like pharmaceutical companies at all.
But
I mean, my impression is kind of that
those three have the most resources and the most money.
And that's why they're able to kind of throw all this money at this problem.
As well as the government's kind of like encouraging them to do it.
And they're going to make a ton of money off of it for sure.
But I mean, it's a lot better than last year.
Like I was saying, last year I was in the hospital.
It's like code blew every five minutes.
Not this year.
I didn't work.
So no.
If you're not there, they're not code blue.
No, I mean, the hospital's full up, but people aren't dying as much, you know.
So it's had some positive impact.
Very exciting.
It's a COVID report from Eric Jones.
Yeah, I know, right?
I mean, if your bar is, I don't want to wear a mask around anymore, then you probably have to be able to do that.
I wish you were no success.
I wish you lived on the East Coast or lived in Jersey.
He'd be my doctor.
Yeah.
Yeah.
I'd let him look everywhere.
Hey, there you go, Joe.
How fucking weird was he?
He's like, you know, I'm not qualified, right?
I just trust him so much.
I can give you some lithium.
I mean, I don't have nothing nothing to treat.
I mean, you're completely mentally stable.
You've never tried a drug.
But I'll talk about no matter what.
Oh, like, no matter what was wrong with me, I want you to treat me, though.
Yeah, I got a dry patch down here.
It's just itchy as hell.
I mean, we do learn it all.
Could you give a prostate check to a friend?
Or is that too much to ask of a doctor?
I guess if...
You know, maybe if I was in that survivalist situation we were discussing where I needed to treat a prostate check for food.
Darren's got that covered.
So if I buy you some KFC, you'll check my prostate.
I'm like, what am I going to do?
Because I can get you some mashed potatoes on the quick.
He's so trusting though and so likable though that like, you know,
my
reluctance to visit a doctor would just melt away if I knew I was going to see, you know, Dr.
Eric.
Right.
You know, I'd go a lot more than once every 30 years.
Did I tell you that when I was in the emergency room?
I got a call by phone while I was sitting there at like five o'clock in the morning and it was somebody in admissions and all the information that they were checking on me, like they were
doing some checks to get me into the hospital,
every information was from when I was last there.
So you just graduated high school, huh?
It was 1988.
So it was my mother's house.
It was my mother's number, which she doesn't even have anymore.
And I was just like, no, that's not my number.
I go, I don't know how you have that number.
And the lady goes, Well, okay, this account hasn't been updated or this file, you know, since 1988.
And I was like, okay, yeah, well, I had to change all that information.
So I would go a lot more, though, if
you had to talk to your trust.
If I had Dr.
Eric, yeah.
I think you like, you just need a doctor that will teach you things because you just don't want to go in there and be told something and accept it.
And so some doctors are like that.
Not many, though, because they would get so busy, they're just like, yeah, get on my face.
Yes.
So your mom mom doesn't have the same number anymore?
No, after Sandy,
she had a different phone number.
Was it $13.94?
Close.
What was it?
$13.
I'm not going to say it on the air.
She doesn't have it anymore.
I'm giving four numbers.
The last number.
Oh, close.
Damn.
Yeah, very close.
It was a box.
You know what?
It's
because of shit like this.
Is it shit like this that Q's giving me?
You don't want to say what it is?
Oh, I can say what it is.
It's a beautiful
volcano.
And if you don't know what a volcano is, stores in, what does that say?
I mean, this is for smoking the sweet leaf.
This is for smoking some devil's lettuce.
Yeah, it's a tabletop vaporizer.
It's going to make me healthier.
Is that true, Dr.
Eric?
Yeah.
Really?
Happier?
Yeah, happier?
Come on.
I mean,
it might just sedate him into
Happier.
Happy.
Sounds good to me.
Sounds like a fucking winner.
In the process of what?
It vaporizes it.
But without all of like, because I was using a vaporizer for a long time.
You know, I mean, like a pen.
And one day I was just like, I think my voice is changing.
Well, that's different.
That's like chemicals.
Right.
Yeah, it's burning chemicals that you're sucking up.
That's why I stopped using it.
But this is not anything close to the process.
This superheats the herb.
I did a lot of research on it.
This superheats the herb, and basically you're getting like a steam, like almost like the moisture from it.
More than anything, steamy goodness cuts down on the
fucking
smoke in your lungs.
No, I don't like smoking.
I don't want to get catchy.
I've been watching Mad Men.
Everybody smokes like crazy.
Oh, it's gross.
Yeah, it's disgusting.
It is weird when you see people smoking still.
You know, like it's
been, at least with weed, you're like, okay, there's a benefit.
It might not be worth it to some people, but there's a benefit to smoking.
I'm just like, I don't know.
It keeps you slim, maybe.
Everybody I know that smokes these days just does it because they like they're addicted to nicotine.
No, no, no, not even.
It's just like people that got to take a shit or something like that, and they're like, oh, I need a shot of nicotine to get my fucking stomach moving.
Whoa, that's true.
Really, Doc?
Yeah, you can.
I mean, it's a pretty powerful nerve stimulant, right?
So nicotine.
It's very powerful.
So when I drink a Coke, though, I don't have to run to the bathroom holding my cheeks tight.
You're driving on caffeine.
I don't know what soda you're drinking.
What about?
Oh, right.
A jolt then.
If I had a jolt, I don't remember.
It's still caffeine, though.
There's no nicotine in soda?
They got coffee.
Is that caffeine, too?
That's also caffeine, yeah.
People also drink that to take a shit.
I know other people, like, I can't go go in the morning until I drink my coffee.
I have a lot of conversations with my friends and family about their morning shit.
Wow, I didn't realize that.
That that's why one of the reasons why people continue to smoke is so they can have regular movements.
Yeah, like I know people that don't
regularly smoke, but like once a month they'll just be like, I need a cigarette just to eat.
Oh, okay.
They were going to say once a month they got to go to the bathroom.
I was like, no, that would be awesome.
No, no.
Would you eliminate that if you were God?
Would you unintended?
Would you have like if I would have made that probably not something that humans had to do
But where would the waste go?
Does it come out of your skin like a slime like frost?
Just sweat it out?
Yeah.
Just spit it out.
Oh
I might prefer the shitting I guess
so at least you can read
and chill out.
It's not like shitting
doesn't feel good.
It feels great.
It's just disgusting.
Sometimes, not all the time.
Well, there's that sense of relief of like, thank God it's over.
I never really had that.
It was more like just like, man, I feel lighter.
Yeah.
The gas is gone.
It's beautiful.
It's disgusting.
It really is.
Why are we even talking about that?
I don't know.
I don't know.
I was looking at it.
I saw some predictions for 2022 because the New Year's coming up.
Any resolutions around the table?
I don't make them because I break them every single year.
It's fucking stupid to do.
I would love to learn Italian this year.
Yeah.
I'm going to make that my resolution.
To learn Italian.
I'm going to learn Italian.
Maybe not fluently by the end of the year, but you'll have a
little bit like I can go to the country and, you know, they'll still know I'm an asshole tourist, but at least I'm an asshole Taurus that took the time to learn enough to be like, hey, made a little bit of an effort.
Where's the bathroom?
I got to take a shit.
Give me a cigarette and a coffee.
What about you, Eric?
You have any?
I mean, after that, kind of lofty,
like I'm going to learn an entire language type of resolution.
Why?
Is it hard?
Now you're making me feel like I can't do it.
No, you think you probably can.
Fuck it, basically.
I didn't have anything in mind, actually.
No.
Maybe
be a little bit more social, maybe.
Oh, yeah.
Yeah.
Get out a little bit more.
I didn't get to go up in the club.
No.
Absolutely not.
Oh, you'd fit right in, man.
Yeah, this lumberjack appearance.
I had to say what kind of club it was.
It's a honky-tonka.
Because Nostradamus, who we all know and love,
he's back, and he's got some prophecies for 2022.
Well, did he prophesize COVID?
I don't think so.
I mean, that's a pretty big one to remiss.
That is.
It's like, as long as you're like, because there's a whole bunch of shit that you're like, who cares about this stuff?
But then there's,
let's see here:
inflation, starvation, and cannibalism.
He predicted that the inflation and starvation will befall us in 2022, writing, so high the price of wheat that man is stirred, his fellow man, to eat in his despair.
So we're going to run out of wheat and eat each other, it looks like.
But it's not always literal.
Right.
What, not Shredam?
Yeah, I mean, it's always a parcel when you looked right at me.
Nothing literal.
You always got to like.
Come on, Doc, What's up?
They didn't teach this?
Yeah, I mean.
We're gonna turn into comedy's
first two years on that explosive.
On those ternas?
On one of those?
Those quatrains?
There's no medical quatrains?
You better step it up if you want access to that flanagan prostate, buddy.
That sweet flanagan prostate.
No one's seen it since I was a baby.
I'm not sure they regularly check that on babies.
When do they start checking?
What age?
I believe it's 50.
I would have to check the guidelines.
I mean, like, I don't really do that.
It would probably get me into a lot of trouble if I started.
Well, you just started Googling like crazy on your work computer.
Can you check a baby's prostate?
He leaves it up on the screen.
Oh, shit.
Christmas won't be as fun next year.
It says an essential human truth is that people get hungry and they get mean.
And with U.S.
inflation the highest it's been in nearly four decades,
this is what he's saying.
Yep.
So far, so true.
Q, don't you agree, though, that Nostradamus never
spells it out exactly word for word?
It's always got like you have to interpret it.
Well, otherwise it would all be untrue.
So yeah, if you want it to be true somehow, you got to interpret it.
Yeah, I don't think it's literally eating human flesh.
Right.
There was a big thing about that after like 9-11 with the two, the silver birds in the sky and the two twins, and everyone's like, holy shit, it's true.
That's pretty fucking dope.
It was pretty close, wasn't it?
Yeah, it's pretty fucking dope if it's true.
Like to nail that end the year?
I couldn't do it, I don't think.
This one
says this is about AI.
The moon in the full of night over the high mountain.
The new sage with a lone brain sees it by his disciples invited to be immortal.
Eyes to the south, hands and bosoms, body in the fire.
It says here that
further evidence that man is destined to be overtaken by immortal machines can be found in the teachings of
Prophet Jared Leto.
So he says it appears to be in reference to the escalation of artificial intelligence.
Should we be afraid of AI?
I mean,
you're expecting that to happen this year?
2022 says no Stradamus.
Should you be afraid of AI?
I don't think so.
No?
It's pretty funny.
I think
it could become like Skynet
taking over, bombing people and shit.
Yeah, I just have more faith in
nature.
Human brain is much superior still.
To a computer, huh?
To a computer.
Absolutely.
I agree with that.
Yeah.
Machines are fallible.
My fucking car can't stay out of the shop.
Right?
I mean, tell me something that doesn't break.
I mean, any machines you had that doesn't fucking constantly break.
That's true, and it's infuriating.
Or you have to upgrade.
You know what?
You can't even have a fucking phone without every two minutes being like, make sure your phone's plugged in so that it can upgrade.
What do we got here?
Doc's weighing in on.
Oh, Oh, you're still weighing in?
I mean, so even if you look at things like
Tesla, right?
Like, oh, these cars are going to drive themselves, right?
Four years ago, they're saying,
they were saying it was going to be doing that since like 2017.
It still hasn't happened.
But they still wear car, though.
But do you think it'll ever be passed?
Like, states will allow drivers.
Every time you turn around, they're running over a bicyclist or fucking crashing into the middle.
But yeah, but how many non-fucking AI cars are running over bicyclists and shit like that?
I mean, right?
Yeah.
Wow, I disagree with all you guys.
In our lifetime, you'll think you'll see the
driverless cars driving around?
I think so.
But I think it's probably another like 10, 20 years.
Yeah, within our lifetime, though.
I mean, everybody that owns a Tesla goes on and on about how they just fucking sit back and let the car drive.
It takes exits and stuff for you.
All it takes is one
multi-you know, person accident.
I guess
yeah, pile up or something.
It'll shut that all down.
That's fucking bad shit that's happened.
Train accidents happen every fucking other year, and then they were still running trains.
Yeah, because
the railroads are there.
They're not just going to give up on trains because of all the infrastructure and everything.
But like cars.
Don't be such a lazy fucking motherfucker.
Drive your own car.
That's the like.
But what if the cars could prevent accidents?
And what if the cars could prevent traffic?
Like,
the real reason that traffic exists is people drive like assholes.
But if computers were all talking to each other in the cars and they were all making these decisions, oh, so there's no more, no one's allowed to drive anymore.
That'll go over well.
I'm thinking, no,
at least have the option of grabbing the wheel, but like, really, it'll just be like.
But if every car now has, there's no more cars on the road that aren't AI.
I mean, that's a long time away.
Yeah.
And then you have to have the road being able to communicate with the car,
and they they haven't even started that.
So not in our lifetime?
Maybe towards that.
Tired of driving.
Maybe towards then.
I think quicker.
But what do I know?
I don't know shit.
I don't have a college degree.
Yeah, me neither.
Fuck, you're supposed to have the answers.
That's why you're at the college.
I told you the answer here, disagree.
You know, the real depressing thing about AI is, remember how when you were a little kid, like, the idea of robots and 3PO and R2 seems so fucking cool?
And, like, I couldn't wait to have a robot.
Unattainable.
Yeah.
And now I'm just like, like, I'm not letting that robot at my house.
Fucking Google probably has a camera in its eyes.
Like it'll probably need updates and fucking try and sell me shit all the time.
Like
what was going to be my fucking best friend being a robot is now like,
I'm not going to own it.
It's going to fucking report on me.
It's going to be privacy concerns.
It's going to be all that shit.
Like I wouldn't do it now.
Every time I step into my car now, like when I bought, when I got the car, it had a year of this service where like it has a remote start and it would tell you when you needed needed gas and the oil pressure and all this other bullshit.
But it was only for a year.
Then, after that, they want 20 bucks a month
for that service.
A month.
I was like, fuck that.
For remote start?
For remote start and to tell you when you need gases, if there's not a fucking gas gauge on the goddamn car.
So I was like, no, I'm not going to do that.
Now, every time I start up the car, it reminds me to call them.
And I'm like, now I'm being hectored by my car to spend money on shit.
Yeah, $240 a year.
Remote start, you can't do unless you pay a fucking
from my phone.
I can still do it.
Oh, you can still do it with the keychain.
But I have to test it because I just found that out today, so I'm going to test it from here to see if it can reach all the way downstairs.
Probably not.
Probably not.
But I think they are moving that way.
Like, all that stuff will be service.
Oh, that won't.
That fucking people eventually are going to get out of the pitchforks and fucking start burning shit down.
You can't make remote start a fucking app, like an app-only thing.
thing that's the craziest thing who would pay for that who I mean not me
I'm on your side
yeah wow
the
Lost Redamus talks about the
the favorite that comes along every year that's nuclear war
and it says
Astrological events more than calendar years
for some time dooms doomsdays have been waiting a nuclear explosion that will trigger severe climate change.
And based on this passage, for 40 years, the rainbow will not be seen.
Uh-oh, look out, gay people.
For 40 years, it will be seen every day.
The dry earth will grow to be more parched, and there will be more floods when it is seen.
Judging by this summer's historic drought and the painfully parched conditions in Chile, I was not aware Chile was parched,
said the punishment may already be upon us.
Add to this recent revelation that China is allegedly armed and dangerous and ready to launch a nuclear strike
that could presumably cause cataclysmic water shortages.
Uh-oh.
That's no good.
I mean, is China any nearer to launching a nuclear strike than they were five years ago?
I think all these guys are in cahoots.
They're like on the phone and they're like, hey, should we say we're going to launch a nuclear strike?
Or just not say we're going to do it, but like sort of allude to it.
That way everybody will be in line.
Like all they want to do is keep everybody in line, right?
Oh, yeah.
So if you just keep everybody afraid, whether it's by fucking nuclear strikes or COVID or parched earth or whatever the fuck,
as long as everybody's scared, they'll just keep paying their taxes and fucking keep the status quo.
Hope everything goes right.
That's all you can do is hope everything goes right.
What the fuck am I supposed to do?
Fucking fire up that machine I gave you Christmas and not worry about any of this shit.
Then when it comes, I'll be like, cool, dude.
I mean, look, if there was a nuclear missile coming towards you, would you rather be like, cool, dude?
Or you'd rather be like shit in your pants, freaking out, and stuff like that?
Yeah, I'd rather be like, cool, dude.
I'd be like at, um, I'd be like like in deep impact, sitting on the beach and shit, waiting for that wave to overtake me.
Stupid wave.
And it's not even like I'm being engulfed with water.
It's probably like telephone poles and science.
It's just
all kinds of shit.
I was watching the other day, I caught in a tsunami rabbit hole.
Holy Christ, man.
The shit that
in Japan, it just like keeps coming to people.
People are still sitting there watching it.
People are like, whoa, check this shit out.
The next thing you know, like, oh no.
It's like, you know, funny stories.
There was no videos before that to watch.
Right.
So nobody realized what they were watching was going to be way more or way higher than they,
you know,
ever could have imagined.
Yeah, because it's like it starts out pretty low, and it's like all this water coming in, and it's like, then it starts to carry some stuff, like some street debris.
Then it starts to carry cars.
Like a boat.
Yeah, then a boat's coming down the street.
It's weird, that footage, yeah.
Like the drone footage of like it overtaking the fields and towns.
It's just slow moving almost, but it's just
like the blob.
Yeah, like the blob.
And it's just full of fucking garbage and shit.
And I guess that's what it fucks you up.
Because if you're in the water, if you could hold on to a piece of wood, you might be able to get swept downstream and still live.
But it's all the shit in the water that's flipping over and crushing stuff and nailing people.
I mean, can they even live there now still?
I mean, is that just that area still totally devastated?
There was a new
nuclear plant that was compromised.
So I don't think that it was ever
announced that it's like it's perfectly fine for everybody to go back home.
It just kind of was quietly forgotten about by our news media.
Yeah, they got other shit to contend with now.
Nonsense.
Have you been?
You probably haven't watched Succession, have you?
I was turned on to Succession by one BQ.
Holy shit, is it good?
Isn't it fucking good?
It's really good.
And it really, like, I mean, I don't know how accurate it is in terms of how big corporations
behave, but I bet you it is.
Oh, it's fucking brutal.
Did you finish it?
No, I'm halfway through season two.
Oh, I just finished season three last time.
It's fucking nuts.
Yeah, I should check it out.
HBO Max?
Yeah, because I watched The Matrix.
Did you watch it?
I almost did, and there's so many fucking people that were like, this sucks, that I was like, I don't know.
I mean, do I want to invest two hours and stuff?
It was two and a half.
Even worse.
Now that I have my volcano.
I mean,
it wasn't the utter cluster fuck that I was
told it was going to be.
I thought it started out pretty interesting and then kind of
evolved into stuff I really wasn't into.
But
I think it's worth a two and a half hour watching for free.
It's never bad.
It's good and then at times kind of boring.
Yeah.
But never bad.
Even the boring parts, you're not like, oh, fuck this.
You're just like, all right,
let's get back to the good stuff.
Out of the four, where would you place it i only saw one and two and i saw them 20 years apart right so i wasn't sure whether were those robotic looking blue jays those seven foot tall robotic blue jay was that something from the other two
the friendly ones that was with them that was new that was new that was so out of out of place yeah suck out like a sortho i'm like this movie is so dark and sinister or like the foreboding atmosphere and then have this like cartoon looking character just show up with a big fucking grin on its face it had ideas that didn't work.
That's for sure.
That sounds pretty bad.
Yeah, but it's not.
But I mean, as a testament to the movie, like how good it is to see Kano and Carrie Moss again.
Trinity.
Trinity, it's like they're, you like seeing them together,
but it overcomes for a lot.
And I thought the ending of this was way better than the ending of the original trilogy, which just kind of ended with a thud and a bummer.
Like this was actually a better ending, I thought.
Yeah, I was going to attempt to, because I watched the first one the other day.
I was like, maybe I'll just watch all of them.
And then got into the second one, and I was like, oh, that's right.
Yeah, the third one's.
You could probably watch the last 15 minutes of the third one to get the idea.
You get the whole idea.
Yeah, it just sucks.
It's probably, I would say this is my second favorite one.
Oh, yeah?
Yeah, I would say one, then four, then two, and then unfortunately, you know,
three, I guess.
I got to include in the list.
I'll have to check it out.
No, new photography techniques and shit.
I didn't see anything that stood out as ground.
Yeah, no, not really.
There's nothing really ground.
In fact, they use bullet time as a plot point in the movie.
Yeah.
Like, they acknowledge that it exists and then they use it.
It's cool.
Excuse me.
Yeah,
it's not as bad as the reviewers are making it out to seem, but it's certainly not good, though.
It's just kind of like, it's worth it if you have any affection for the original.
That's worth watching.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Okay.
Yeah.
Yeah.
I'll have to check it out.
What about Spider-Man?
Did you guys see that?
You're the only two motherfuckers on the planet that haven't seen it.
I know.
I haven't seen it.
You never answered me, right?
I figured I'd wait till.
Yeah, when you didn't answer, I was like, okay, okay.
Can we talk about Spider-Man?
Can we talk about it
without giving away any spoilers, or should we announce spoilers?
I don't know.
Kim Kardashian just caught a bunch of shit.
Really?
For what?
She was, she took a picture of, I guess, a key moment in the movie.
Like Spider-Man.
Off the screen, yeah, at her
home video.
Her home theater, of course.
Did you watch it at home?
I guess so.
BQ.
Did you watch it at home?
No, I had to go to fucking theaters twice to watch it.
It's BQ, not BK.
You liked it so much you saw it twice.
Yeah, I went, there was a theater, because, you know, I end up alone on Christmas every year, and there was a theater that was playing it with no one else in the theater.
And I was like,
fuck it, man.
I'll go do that.
I'll go see it again.
There were like parts I wanted to replay and stuff like that.
So I got to see it by myself in a big theater.
It was great.
Take that, Kim Kardashian.
Yeah, yeah, I had to pay fucking 16 bucks for it.
Are you willing to risk the ire
of talking about it for a couple of minutes?
Well, I think we've given people enough
understanding that we're going to start talking about it.
Where would you place it on the pantheon of
Marvel movies?
Oh,
of Marvel movies?
Or any movie?
I mean,
I legitimately loved it.
I loved it.
I had so much fun watching it.
So in terms of fucking what a movie should do, it had me 100%.
I loved it.
I liked it.
I liked it a lot, but I found the message flawed.
What message?
Because there were a lot of metaphors I felt flying around about
that you don't have to incarcerate people, you can cure them, you villains.
And it felt like was a, like they were feeding me a message that, like, you know,
that we don't have to, we can let people out of jail or
we don't have to put them in jail, even though these are fucking murdering
psychopathic fucking supervillains.
And there is no microchip that you can put in somebody that's going to cure them like in two seconds like Spider-Man did.
Well, I didn't see what you were seeing, what you were seeing, so I don't know about that message.
But wouldn't it be more like the mentally ill?
Because all those people are fucked up.
Right, but if you murder,
I think the price was too high.
Because they were saying cure.
What Spider-Man had to pay
when he just could have pressed a button and made it all go away.
Yeah.
I think it was absolutely the wrong move.
And the price that he paid for that wrong move was just way too high for the moral of,
like, you know, I have to be better.
Wow, that is interesting because I never, I thought his struggle with it, I thought they did a good, like he was going to kill that motherfucker.
Like, Tom Holland was going to kill that guy if he wasn't stopped from doing it.
Yes.
I thought they did such a good job of selling it.
But to me, it was like, so we're really getting into spoilers here, but
Aunt May dies, and that's the price you're talking about.
But to me, I thought it was brilliant.
I was like, holy fuck.
Like, how did we not see that Aunt May had to die?
There was never a death by Uncle Ben.
There was never no power and responsibility.
We never got that with Tom Holland.
So when they did it through Aunt Mae and killed M.
Mae, I was like, how fucking dumb am I for not seeing this coming?
I mean, I'm okay with them killing Aunt Mae, but the way that they did it with like
her criminal.
But it's the same thing.
It's not.
What are you talking about?
He let the criminals go and then the criminal killed Uncle Ben.
It's the same exact thing.
It is and it isn't, though.
He's not, this is a Spider-Man that makes this decision after bringing back half the population.
He knows how fragile life is and how close it came to being snuffed out.
He didn't.
He was snuffed out.
He didn't help her.
So the very fact that he would not press a button
and now it cost him the woman who raised him.
This is like saying that
letting people out,
people who could go out and cause mayhem or death,
is
worth the price of an innocent life.
So like California.
Yes.
Wow.
I mean, that's digging.
I mean, I just fucking made the Uncle Ben connection.
I didn't really go that way.
I mean, one, they were all incarcerated.
They locked them up in the prison cells.
And two, they were all men.
And he let them out.
Yeah.
And look at the price that he paid for letting them out.
Don't you think that it's an anti-letting them out message?
Yes.
Yeah.
But no, but no, yes, it should have been.
But at the end, it's not.
At the end, it's like Aunt May was right.
You know, Aunt May wasn't right.
Well, that's up for Aunt May to decide, isn't it?
Well, no, but all three Spider-Man, well, the two Spider-Men are telling Nicholas Holland, or what's that?
Tom Holland.
Tom Holland.
I was thinking Nicholas Hammond, the very first Spider-Man, who they should have brought back.
Yeah, they really should have done that.
But they're telling him, though, Aunt May was right, and that
you can't, you have to forgive yourself, kind of like, don't beat yourself up over this.
You know,
she was right.
But I think she was wrong, though.
Because unfortunately, he felt that that price.
But what happens to
if he sends them back and it didn't work?
And they go on to kill somebody else in their
universe.
This is not,
I think, the price that anybody would want to pay.
Yeah, but those people had
specific cures, though, that he was going after.
He wasn't just like the scumbags, let's save them back.
He was like,
Everybody had a cure that was able, they were able to fucking come together on in fucking five minutes.
Well, I thought they did a good job
explaining that.
Like he said, because Maguire was like, well, I've had years to think about this.
And Garfield was like, I already did this.
I already cured him, so I can do it again.
Like, I thought they had those answers.
I thought he was working on a cure for him,
had never cured him before.
So why would he be the lizard then?
Why would they pull the lizard in?
Because he was cured already.
They just pulled him out, and that stepped inside because the end of the first movie.
Great movie, though.
I think the price is too high, though, for
what could have been.
Wow.
I think everybody would have pressed that button.
Well, in retrospect, yeah, but he didn't have that information.
He didn't know.
It wasn't like press this button and you can try and stay.
Like if he had listened to one Aunt May O'Die, he didn't know that.
Yeah, I know, but that's the, but that's the thing.
You don't fucking roll those bones, man.
But you have fucking psychopathic, murdering supervillains.
You can't roll those dice and they assume that you're going to be able to save them.
But then you shouldn't put on a mask at all then, because your identity might get out and your aunt may get killed then.
Then you should never take any risks.
Well, that's Jay Jonah, yeah.
Yeah.
Jay Jonah Jameson stance.
I didn't see it as like some sort of morality lesson.
I was literally like, wow, they made her Uncle Ben.
That's pretty cool.
Yeah, I mean, I do like it, but again, I say.
How cool was it when all three Spider-Men were swinging around, though?
Didn't you love it?
Yeah, it was awesome.
I was like, this is fucking great, man.
I don't know.
I really love the movie.
I think it's Avengers Endgame and then
Infinity War and then Spider-Man.
It might give one of the Guardians of Galaxies.
Yeah, oh, yeah, for Guardian.
Yeah, but
how come you guys haven't seen it?
The fuck's the matter with you, too?
Give me a valid response.
Good talk.
You're so fucking smart.
I have my
son who lives with me, right?
He wants to go.
He wanted to go, but he wanted to go with his friends.
So normally I would go with him.
So he ditched me.
Oh,
it was a hard lesson.
This is the first time that happened how old is he 17 now so if you should you know what though you could look flip that around and be like half his glass full like it took him 17 years to do that yeah because i just not picked him up after the movie theater
had to pick him up yeah i had to go back and pick him up too
so why don't you just go in and not tell him
yeah you could have like one
like
the feel a little bit independent i guess you know but yeah he had his age but must have been playing in multiple theaters right yeah i guess I guess my excuse isn't good enough, I guess.
You're still not taking on good enough.
I didn't want to see it.
I was trying to get my brother Darren to go see it with me yesterday, and he didn't want to see it.
No, but he doesn't know you were interested.
He didn't even ask me.
I didn't know you had any interest in that.
I would love to see it.
It's a fun movie.
It is a lot of fun shit in the movie.
And you don't need to know every aspect of it.
I don't know if I like the idea that there's these hidden political messages and they all friends.
We know that.
I actually found that to read.
Dude,
I thought this movie was refreshingly free of those messages.
And now I'm learning that
maybe I missed them.
You were just brainwashed.
Yeah.
I mean,
I've internalized them.
I've accepted them.
I read in the post, Marissa Tomei wanted to make Spider-Man's Aunt May a lesbian.
I mean, does that mean that Marissa May?
Is that why they killed her?
Oh, yeah.
I mean, if it meant that.
That's a spoiler alert,
Marissa Tomei would start making out with another chick on screen.
I mean, I'm fucking totally down for this.
57.
Oh, God, she looks so good.
Holy shit.
I didn't see anything in Matrix, though, any kind of messages, even though I thought there would be, considering, you know,
all the kind of like bashing it got in terms of the quality of movie.
Yeah, I didn't.
I mean, I'm sure there were.
I mean, she was taking shots at Warner Brothers and stuff like that, but I was able to enjoy it as a sci-fi fiction.
I like Trinity.
I thought her
evolving as just as equal as him was cool, too.
It was great.
I thought it was cool.
She kind of takes the lead at the end, too.
Yeah.
And he's just like.
Well, now you're really spoiling.
Spoiled Spider-Man.
We told people we were going to spoil Spider-Man.
He just started giving away the end of the Matrix.
But yes, I love her.
I thought she was great.
What else has she been in?
Because I haven't seen her in a second.
She hasn't done a lot.
How come?
I don't know.
I don't know.
She did like a romantic comedy after The Matrix ended.
How come the Morpheus guy wasn't recast?
Apparently, what I heard was that
it was always the plan to have a new Morpheus be a.
It wasn't he didn't want to do it or anything like that.
They wanted the new Morpheus to be that machine helping them thinking it was him.
I don't know.
I don't know.
If he's still alive, get him the fuck back and let him do it.
I don't get it either.
Agent Smith, why?
I almost felt like they shouldn't have made the fucking movie if he wasn't in it.
Because I like that guy that they had play the new Agent Smith.
I actually do like him a lot, but I can accept no other than Agent Smith as Agent Smith.
But I would have loved to see Aunt May make out with another chick.
That would have been fucking great.
Maybe Gwyneth Paltrow
because Tony Stark's fucking dead.
Maybe Aunt May and Pepper Pot start getting it on.
Suddenly, now I'm going to go see the movie three fucking times.
She's a little old, though, for Gwyneth Paltrow, isn't she now?
Age is but a number, my friend.
Yeah, come on.
Look at her.
Look at Stark.
Sorry.
I mean, I never felt so offended.
How old is Gwyneth Paltrow?
She's got to be in 40s.
Late 40s.
40s.
Late 40s, right?
Oh, no way.
She's got to be late 40s.
She's so youthful.
So it's more of such a thing.
All that goop shit she's putting on her face.
Let's see.
Gwyneth GWE.
I think it's Y, or I don't know.
I don't know why I even opened my mouth.
Y
Gwynneth Paltrow.
How old is she?
Let's see how old she is, Gwyneth Paltrow.
49.
Yeah.
Age-appropriate.
Yeah, so she's not that much younger.
Yeah.
I I mean,
I wish Marvel had listened to her in this.
I'm all for representation, especially if it means I get to see those two.
But isn't that
a little bit different?
Extended cutscenes.
Happy?
Yeah, how is Happy going to, how is he kind of handled that kind of revelation in the movie?
Because they don't have a lot of screen time.
No.
And they've got to explain that.
Well, maybe she meant Happy was never a part of it with her.
She was always into chicks.
But they said up, though, that they were a couple, though.
I know.
Maybe she pitched this in the first movie.
Yeah, I think she said that she, after Uncle Ben died, she wanted, you know, spoiler alert, she wanted
her to have a subtle relationship with somebody.
I don't think they're making out that you're hoping for.
All right.
Well, what's the point then?
I say, unless it's full frontal, all action.
Like, NC 17.
Cut Spider-Man out of the movie at that point.
It should have been NC17.
Cut all three Spider-Man out at that point.
I don't care.
I was wondering your opinions if, like, say
you found out.
Now, turned turned out after everything
settled down, the dust settled, it turned out like I was legally within my rights due to the laws of New Jersey.
But I shot and killed a porch pirate for
trying to steal one of my packages.
Yeah.
So,
so walk me through it.
Take me, is it a kid?
Is this a kid and his friends fucking around and you just came out guns blazing?
I see a lot of porch pirate videos where it seems like somebody pulls up in a car
and then somebody runs out, grabs the package and then runs back into the car.
So when it's an adult?
It's an adult.
Okay.
And I've seen some great ones where like some lady like broke her leg and she couldn't get away.
Like people have been snagged.
They've been caught.
Yeah, like they were trying to steal.
I got Mary Beth one of those ninja foodie grill things.
Okay.
So, you know, valuable object.
Sure.
They're trying to hustle away with it and I just fucking take a shot on them.
Just like
in the back.
The way you speak.
Like, you even got the item that they're stealing, which is really bizarre.
This is a fantasy, it sounds like, more than like a like a
I got the skew number.
You even got the package, the item that's in the box.
I was trying to think of something that was valuable that was delivered.
That was more than like a couple of bucks, but I'm like, oh, no way.
Either way, I'd be like, bud, why did you invite this into your life over a fucking ninja cookie?
It's mine, mine, it's mine, Q.
Oh, no, no, no, you're right about that.
I'm not disagreeing that.
But, yeah, I mean, it's like everything else.
What am I going to do?
I mean,
if the people of New Jersey say you're in the right, who am I to argue with them?
That would be.
Oh, I don't know if they would say he's in the right.
Well, he said somehow with some kind of technicality.
I got off.
Oh, no, if I shot somebody in the back for taking my package, I probably would not be got off.
I don't think that applies just to New Jersey.
I don't know if that's legal anywhere.
Yeah.
To shoot somebody in the bathroom.
Is that like a stand your ground type of thing?
Like if they were, like, I caught them on the porch and they had my ninja foodie in their hands and I'm just like,
pull them between their eyes.
Oh, my God.
Oh, Lord.
So in Florida, you're wondering?
Yeah, I'm down in Florida.
And you got away with it.
I got away with it.
You might be able to.
I think Florida is the only state you're going to get away with this.
Maybe Texas.
Yeah, maybe.
I mean, it wouldn't add any new information to me that would make me not be your friend, but I would be like,
why did you do this?
Like, who was that person?
Like,
what if they were just someone's mom who was just trying to make ends meet?
I think you would probably end.
I mean, I would probably have to distance myself from him.
Really?
Would you?
Why, you piece of shit?
I mean, how are you going to like.
Well, let's not forget he's a victim.
He is a victim in this situation.
Yeah.
Yeah, I am the victim in this.
They're stealing from me.
How do I know one of Nostra Thomas' quadratians didn't just come true?
And they're like, oh, well, I got it.
Fucking I gotta get from me and mine.
Which means they're taking from me.
How do you distance?
What is your action to distance yourself?
What do you do differently?
I would try to help him out.
It'd be like, you know, he's always been very sick.
Or like in court.
Yeah.
He didn't have enough lithium.
He needed more lithium.
Would you testify
like he didn't have enough that he didn't have enough lithium?
Maybe I could find somebody that would do that.
So it wouldn't be so obvious.
You don't want to see me go in the jail shop.
All right, but all right.
You're called to testify about his childhood.
Oh, yeah.
Yeah, I can't tell you that.
Yeah, I could give him a good testimony.
Nice, solid witness.
I mean, I would have done,
but it's kind of hard.
I mean, first of all, you're assuming it's not the person that's delivering the package.
Yeah, I mean, that's likely
just opens the door and just shoots the person.
He looked like he was stealing, trying to put it down.
He's wearing a FedEx outfit.
Wow.
That's a good point.
Yeah, I don't know, man.
That would be rough.
My only question to you, I would be like, what was he trying to take?
And then I'd be like, All right, it's over.
Yeah, I mean, look, you're my friend.
I mean,
what do you mean, back away from him?
Like, how's that?
What do you mean distance yourself?
I don't know if I could be like, well, like, full support, like free Brian Johnson
t-shirts, like start a social media campaign.
Yeah, okay, I understand that.
Are you doing appearances for him?
Are you wearing the free Brian shirt on TV?
Oh, no, it'd be great.
I am.
Oh, I am.
I'm going to do it.
All right.
Fuck that.
That's a fucking friend.
Fuck that.
I'm doing it.
You're my new brother.
It's so easy to say in this fucking bizarre, ridiculous scenario.
Hey, whatever, man.
I'm being asked a question.
I'm giving an answer.
That guy shouldn't have stole.
What's mine is mine.
A grown man made a purchase.
Another grown man tried to steal that purchase.
He paid the price.
What do you want from me?
But it's one of those things where I was thinking, it's not that.
Like, if I read that, I wouldn't be totally shocked.
That you shot him?
No, not me.
But like, if I read it online somewhere, like, oh, this is what happened, you know.
I would be like, that person fucking.
If it wasn't you, I would have been like, why the fuck?
That's crazy that he came out shooting.
That's the craziest shit I've ever heard.
I mean, what would be the difference if you saw somebody taking some change out of your car or something?
Good shot.
What's mine is mine.
Mine is mine.
So, well,
let me ask, let me throw it to you, Walt.
If I was getting porch pirated
and I set up like a
fucking rope,
what do they call those things that jerk you up into the tree?
Oh, yeah.
Jackrabbit,
a snare.
Yeah, snare.
And I set it up, and like this fucking woman got sucked into the tree upside down and was just like, well,
like, I would love it.
And I come out, and it's on video of me being like, that's what you fucking get.
Now I'm calling the cops, and you're going to hang there until the cops come.
And there's a backlash for you?
Is there a backlash?
Yeah.
You think there is?
Oh, yeah, because there's some segment of the population that's going to be like, he could afford another fucking ninja foodie.
I could afford 10 ninja foodies.
That's not the point.
Some people, you'll be hailed as a hero by some, almost all of Staten Island, but the rest of the country.
Why?
It's not a race thing.
It's not.
Don't you agree?
I sort of disagree with you.
I think it's so relatable to be stolen from in that way that i think he might be since he didn't kill the person yeah i just said
he made a joke out of it gloating on cameras is just a little bit too much i think is it gloating or is it like he's dressing down the person like hey see what happened this is cause and effect you fucking stole my fucking foodie i don't know if you can go being lovable fucking
yeah
i don't know
corporate america doesn't like it no yeah the average american you might be able to launch a political career i don't want to but So you'd think a snare,
a fucking foot catch.
It's coming out, though, and gloating and fucking
people would be like.
And wagging your finger.
Right.
Then I go, then I go on TV and I'm like, honestly, I didn't think that thing would fucking work.
I just got caught up in the moment.
Oh.
All right.
So no wagging the finger.
It's okay.
Then it's okay.
What about a bear trap?
One broken leg later.
It's like, was it worth it?
Was it worth it?
Look like you're bleeding out there, pal.
Does it hurt?
Oof.
What was I going to say?
I had something else here.
Let me see where it was.
I had the top stories of 2021.
You did?
I would love to listen to them.
I saw a list.
Going to be something besides COVID?
Yeah, there was the insurrection at the Capitol, right?
Is that the Capitol?
Yeah.
There was COVID, of course.
I was surprised what didn't make the top stories, though.
You know, TSD moving from Red Bank to Hasley.
I really thought that would be a bigger, have a bigger impact on
some of the stories.
It was a significant move, I thought, right?
We'd say that one, it was Tortroy just to be able to.
Let's move it out of the stash to hear.
Let's move it out of the stash.
That has to be the number one story of the year.
You're right.
Yeah.
It was a weird year.
Shit, yeah.
Yeah.
So you had the insurrection.
What else do we have?
I'm just talking about us moving.
Oh, that was it?
Oh, yeah, it's not really CLS.
I really wasn't going to have any commentary on the rest of the bullshit.
There's real fucking professionals who will pontificate on that shit.
Well, it seems like every top story is about somebody getting shot,
not over foodies, but over
nonsense and bullshit.
Let's see.
Top stories of 2020.
And usually
they're not real feel-good stories, though, usually.
They never are.
No, not these days, no.
I don't think the media has much of an interest in putting out positive stories these days.
It doesn't sell.
I guess that's true.
I mean, there's not that much positive stuff going on, though.
Oh, there's tons of positive stuff.
The vaccine's a story, I guess, right?
There's a lot of positive stuff.
I'll tell you something positive real fast.
Give me a second.
Uh-oh.
This isn't about Blue Chew, is it?
No, no, no.
This is an ad-free episode for everybody.
Oh, nice.
Let's see.
Yeah.
But us moving.
Real quickly.
Elephants underscore universe on Instagram.
I've been watching episodes, I mean,
video after video of little baby elephants and shit.
Oh, it's fucking awesome.
There is nothing, there is nothing more playful than a baby elephant, man.
They're so fucking fun to watch.
Yeah.
Like, rolling, like, they're always always falling because they're so clumsy.
There's this company called the Sheldrick Trust.
Have you ever heard of it?
No.
I donate to them, but you follow them on Instagram too.
They save animals out
of hunted elephants and stuff like that.
Yeah, and they have a lot of baby elephants on that.
And every time they do, I'm like, fine, I'll send more money.
Is that the lithium working?
Yeah, I think that's like Brian Johnson.
I'm like, why are they poaching that
perfectly at ivory?
It's a totally different reaction than a year year ago.
But you were going to say about us moving?
Us moving.
I mean,
are you settled now?
Is it all just a distant memory now?
Like, we're here.
Yeah, we're here.
I don't even, I know this is going to sound like
something I thought I'd never say, but I don't even really miss a stash.
Isn't that weird?
I could see that coming from both you and Brian, though, because you didn't spend as nearly as much time there as I did.
But
yeah, for you, it was like you came when it was kind of closed.
You were there.
I don't even know if you were there when we got to 35.
You may have been gone already
when we got to 35 in terms of working for the company.
Well, the new store was a
right.
You got hired to move the store when I left.
Yeah.
Right.
So am I comfortable here?
Yeah, I definitely feel
like
this is the place.
Yeah.
And I don't feel weird, like that weird feeling of like initially in October coming here and
coming here and feeling like this was the place.
So yeah, I hope that they
hope we should have fucking signed a two-year lease.
Probably going to skyrocket with the fucking
shit.
We have all this shit in now.
You've got a fucking tank, you're fucking a 30-gallon tank with a fucking mummified
elephant in it.
And I don't know how the landlord is going to react to that when she comes and picks up the rent check.
It's got to be weird to
people walking in and our neighbors walking by when the doors open and they see stuff like that in here.
They probably love it.
What are you guys doing in here again?
Yeah.
All kinds of boxes and shit.
I just quickly looked up the top 10 stories.
It's all political shit.
It's all COVID shit.
It's all black people getting shot shit.
It's just like no feel-good stuff.
I wonder when the last feel-good story made the top 10.
What year was it?
Maybe when the prince and the princess got married?
What's his name?
Danny?
Oh, Prince Harry and
Megan Markle.
Everybody hates them now.
I know, but that may have been one of the last feel-good stories, right?
I mean, it didn't make me feel good.
It was like completely indifferent.
Wasn't it about the sister-in-laws going to get along?
I don't even think those were frames.
All right, what about the other prince then?
I mean, I've seen
completely unrelated to my
Prince William.
Prince William.
No?
Yeah, it didn't touch me.
It's just so.
Like the Kardashians getting married.
It doesn't really
hardest.
But I wonder what the last feel-good story to make the top 10 was.
It's got to be a wedding, though, of a celebrity it has to be
that's my bet my bet the johnson hotel marriage of 2020
what else we got anything no what do you what do you leave us with there eric what kind of what wise words
For the new year?
Yeah.
How do we live our lives?
I mean, the way things are going, no feel-good stories, maybe fear.
I don't know.
You know, I think, you know what I'm going to do?
I think, well, here's a resolution.
I'm going to travel a little bit more.
Maybe not.
Maybe not more.
Maybe come visit me.
Yeah, I'm talking to you two years ago.
I'm going to say the places that I go won't be so meaningless, you know?
Yeah.
God,
it's already too cold here already.
I can't take it.
But then Mary Beth wants to go to Vegas.
I just looked up the weather.
It's like highs of 50 and lows of 25.
I'm like, I don't want to fucking fly the country
to sit in that kind of weather like i want to go swimming and i want to take in some sun
get some rain south gotta go down south again baby i gotta go hit key west again hold on i'm trying to figure out how to do this waltz i'm sorry i'm sorry we just come over i heat up the pool I don't know.
Like when Darren goes over to heat up, like when Darren goes to visit Eric, like Eric heats up the pool.
I'll hear about his complaints about the gas base.
Oh my god, it's crazy.
It's crazy.
Because what he'll do is like he'll turn it off and then he'll turn it back on.
Well, the pool heats, yeah, and I have a hot tub.
And so he comes over.
It's like, he loves it.
It's like a little resort for him.
How much are we talking about to heat the pool up?
For when he's there, like maybe $700.
What?
Right?
Yeah.
That's worthy complaint.
And then I always get the bill like after he leaves, you know?
Is that one dip?
Yeah, so he'll
the first time like he heated it up and he swam in it took like maybe a couple hours, maybe like two hours, and then he let it cool down and then he reheated it.
He didn't know?
Well, he knew the second time.
Did you know the price?
He didn't know the first time.
I knew it would be expensive.
I mean, I don't see him that much, so it's not that big of a deal.
Wait, wait, so you actually told him that that second dip cost me $700?
You just learned a little bit.
Well, I didn't say it that nicely.
Wow.
Well, I just learned a little.
It's just like, just leave it heated all week when he's there.
Do you have one of those things that can like roll across it?
He's like an odd shape, so you can't really do that with that pool.
Why?
What's it the shape of?
I don't know.
It's like some
sort of like 70s modern California pool style.
It's jagged edges and stuff.
And you put this in?
No, no, the pool was there when
you bought that place.
Yeah.
Let's consider moving around.
I imagine if it was built in the 70s, there had to be some crazy ass shit going down in that pool, huh?
Yeah, yeah, I'm sure.
Sex and drugs.
I mean,
there's still five bags of filters don't work
from Burlington.
Haked in for decades.
Right?
A 70s pool in Malibu?
No, no.
This is out in East LA County.
But like
close to Hollywood.
Yeah.
70s pool.
How much fucking
deplorable shit happened in that pool?
Hopefully, a lot.
Hopefully, it's ongoing.
Yeah.
You got to deploral it up when fucking Darren shows up.
I know.
I don't know where this is going.
You got a guy who's a doctor, is rich enough to have a pool in a hot tub, and all he wants to do is tag along with his son and friends to go to the meetings.
Pathetic, man.
Delio, Delio, Steve Dave.
Got it.
Say Delio?
Delio, Steve Dave.
Oh, is that a little Italian?
Yeah.
Oh, I love it.
Delio, Steve Dave.