#502: Covid Chuck

Sounds like you.

Will I get more high C?

Cut that out, BQ.

Tell him Steve Dave.

Hello, and welcome to this week's edition of Tell'em Steve Dave.

It's me, Brian.

I'm here with a BQ.

Hello.

And the recently rejuvenated, reinvigorated Walt Flanagan.

Hello.

He's fucking back.

Yeah.

98%, I'm told.

98%, yeah.

Yeah.

That other 2% is in your left hand, which is

not a symptom that I've heard.

Have you, Q?

Yeah, my pointer finger is super tender to the touch.

My thumb on my left hand is super tender to the touch.

And

my

inner wrist is super tender.

Like if I put my hand in my pocket when I'm fishing for something in my pocket and I move it the wrong way, it's super painful.

Huh.

But you know what?

Fucking compared to what I was going through, I can live with this fucking pain pain for the rest of my life.

Now, judging by what you've said so far, we haven't really talked about it that much.

I'm starting to really believe I did not have COVID at that point.

Oh, yeah.

Like I told Frank, because Frank sent me a text, Frank Five, going, Do you think we had COVID back in 2019?

I was like,

It's possible, I said, but what I got now, I said,

it's like night and day compared to

when I thought I had COVID back in 2019.

I said, it can't even compare it.

I said,

I had a fever for

14 days before it finally just stopped.

And those fever fucked.

They make it so you can't sleep in any way, shape, or form, and comfortably at all.

You're just waking up constantly.

My highest fever was 103.9.

Oh, my God.

That's like hospital shit.

Yeah, my wife was begging me to go to the hospital, and I would not go.

And Nichelle was fucking texting me like crazy.

I'm like, you need to go to the hospital right now.

You need to go to the hospital right now.

And I just, I mean, everybody's heard the story about like, don't go into the hospital because you don't come back out.

You know, that's like, you know, those kind of like things.

So I was like, I'll be all right.

I'll be fine.

I'll be fine.

And then two days after my wife and Nichelle were like.

demanding I go to the hospital, I woke up at 3.30 in the morning and I was like, there's no way I can replenish the fluids in my body.

I said, I am so dehydrated.

Like, I could drink from now until doomsday.

It's not going to work.

I said,

I just gave up.

I was like, I need to go to the hospital.

At 3:30 a.m.

3:30 a.m., which is,

I don't think it matters.

I think it's, I think either 3:30 in the afternoon or 3:30 a.m.

Yeah.

It's a fucking shit show in a hospital.

Shit, was it?

Oh, my God.

It's just so

awful.

Would you go to Red Bank or

Red Bank?

Yeah.

You know, I walked, they bring me in

and they're like, they say, take off all your clothes and put them in this bag.

They don't want to touch me at all.

And I was like, and they give me this paper gown.

And I'm like, why?

Why the fuck do I need to put this paper gown?

I want no clothes on in this.

Why can I just be cold?

Like, why do I, like, what is going to happen that you need me in this state where I'm like, I have a fucking napkin on?

That's basically it.

Yeah.

Like an oversized napkin.

It's probably a sterile thing, right?

Sterile thing, or possibly because they're like, dude, you have a fucking 104-degree fever.

And at that point, I did everything.

At that point, I had a fever, but it wasn't that high, though.

Okay.

You just went because of the dehydration.

I went because I knew that something was seriously wrong, and I was not going to be able to.

I couldn't drink enough to make a difference at that point.

Sounds like you.

Did you find yourself?

Was the hospital nice to you?

Were they shunning you?

You know what?

I don't need to be treated nicely.

So it was nice.

So

it wasn't a big deal that I wasn't treated all that with any kind of

bed manners are not something that is

a priority in the emergency room.

So this guy comes in.

He said he's my nurse.

Did you chuckle?

No.

I didn't have the strength to chuckle.

And he's like, you could lay down

in your oversized napkin

right here.

And so I'm laying there with like, I refused to not take off my underwear.

Like, I left my underwear on.

I was like, I am not taking my fucking underwear on.

You got to take a stand somewhere.

So then he comes back in and he goes,

can you go to the bathroom?

I was like, yeah, I can go to the bathroom.

I said, if I have, if you.

need me to, I guess.

He's like, all right, go.

And he gives me this fucking jug, like

that looks like it's for for antifreeze.

It's like, how, like, I don't know how fucking big this jug was.

I was like, oh, dude, I'm never going to be able to fill this.

I said, and he goes, well, just try.

And I was like, all right.

And I'm sitting there and I'm waiting.

I'm like, I go, well, where's the bathroom?

I said, he goes, you can't leave.

He goes, you have to stay in this room.

You have COVID.

Oh, man.

I was like, so I guess I got to do it right here.

I said.

And he goes, yeah.

I was like, well, can you leave at least?

I said.

I don't want to urinate.

You don't want us to the end.

I go, I don't want to urinate in front of another human being.

Right.

And he just kind of,

I didn't say that, but I was like, all right, can I have some privacy?

I said, to do it.

And

he didn't even say anything.

He just looked at me for like two seconds and then just walked out.

And then, you know,

I was able to do a little bit of what he was asking me to do.

And I don't even know what the fuck they even needed it for.

I told him I had COVID.

Right.

I don't know why they're testing for COVID, but.

Was it like a bright yellow pee?

No.

It was like fucking I was so dehydrated.

It was a really a crazy color.

Oh, yeah.

It was like something like, you know, like as if you liquefied rust.

Oh, boy.

It was bad.

Yeah.

So they gave me they said I needed two bags

of intravenous liquid.

And the liquid, he said, is like it'll cool off your insides

because that'll help bring the fever down, he said.

And they gave me that.

I needed two bags.

I got there at 3:30, and it was so funny.

They have a TV, but there's no sound.

And Wesley Snipes blade was on.

All right.

Nice.

But it was.

Yeah, you would think, right?

But it was so digitized,

every two seconds, it would pixelate

over and over and over again.

I wonder, I'm like, who the fuck even keeps this station on if you can't even see one second of footage before the pixelates over and over?

And so by.

They're like, we don't give a fuck.

Yes.

There's not an AV club?

And by 7.30, they're like, okay, you're going home.

And I was surprised that I thought maybe they were going to keep me all day.

And they sent me home by 7.30.

And I was like, so is there a prescription?

And they're like, no.

I was like, so what do I do?

He goes, you take Tylenol.

You just got to beat it.

He goes.

There's absolutely no treatment for COVID,

which is really fucked up considering it's, what, two years in now?

That's their answer.

That's all they got?

I think there may be treatment for special people may get treatment.

Oh, like if Q had COVID.

No,

I don't even add it.

That ain't gonna give me nothing.

I think guys like Aaron Rodgers,

Joe Rogan, I think they buy treatments.

The horse tranquilizers or something, right?

Isn't that what everybody was saying?

That's what they said Joe Rogan took,

evictamin or vitamins or something.

Right.

Yeah, but I wasn't offered that.

I was like, come on, you know, I was winking at the doctor.

I was like, come on, there's got to be something you can give to give me semi-home with.

You you can buy that from a guy in the alley outside the hospital.

He just gives you 60 octane sends you home.

Yeah, but yeah, it took me two full weeks to recover and feel normal.

Dude, it took me six, man.

That's not too bad.

Really?

Yeah, I never had a fever, though.

It sounded like you had a rougher ride than I did.

I think I did.

Yeah, because I remember texting you, and you said you had like a headache.

I had a pounding headache and like zero energy, like none for six weeks.

Fevers will just make it your life miserable because you can't relax, you can't get comfortable.

Yeah.

In any way, you lay down.

You're just like, you fall asleep for a second, but the

fevered thoughts in your head.

Like, I thought there was a time

at a point where I was so fevered that I thought my stomach was on the outside of my body.

Oh, my God.

I swear to God, this was like how I was thinking.

And I'm in this half-awake, half-asleep state.

And

I never got nauseous.

thank God, because that's the worst thing for me, is being nauseous during the time I was sick.

But I would get nauseous when I tried to eat something because I couldn't taste anything.

So, just the it's like it plays tricks at your mind, like you're eating something and there's no taste.

It would make me feel like a twinge of nauseousness.

And I remember laying down after that and kind of falling asleep and thinking that my stomach was on the outside of my body, and I needed someone to come in and rub it because it was feeling nauseous.

Oof, yeah,

Dude.

Fucking

bad news.

That's the fucking COVID.

Gotta say, though, the first time I saw Walt, I was a little jelly.

It made me wish that I had gone to visit you because you were like COVID slim.

Oh, yeah.

You lost all that.

COVID chic.

Yeah.

I was like, god damn, look at this hottie.

Well, I barely ate.

Not because I didn't have an appetite.

It was solely because

I was hungry, but then as soon as I put something on my mouth, it didn't have a taste.

And it, like I said, it just fucks with your head.

And it makes you feel nauseous because you're chewing on something and there's nothing there.

Yeah.

I don't know how to describe it other than like it just was like weird.

And it didn't, I didn't want to eat then.

You should have taken that as an opportunity to try all new stuff, man.

Like, I'm going to try a fucking piece of fish.

I'm going to try a fucking raspberry.

That'll help.

Yeah, that's true.

Yeah, I remember feeling really nauseous, but also being very hungry.

It was like two weird things.

There were so many weird signals going on.

i hope i never get it again oh yeah i i really hope it never rears its ugly head ever again but it makes you go like man when you feel better though

it makes you realize how um how amazing it is to feel normal yeah

to not have covet oh

god and like the end and i had a lot of depression because i had fucking missed you know the black friday thing this something that i was so geared up for you know like i

he did.

Oh, yes, absolutely.

But me not being able to be a part of it was depressing to me because it was the first Black Friday

in 20 years where I wasn't a part of something.

Like, I wasn't a part of the stash.

I was trying to create this,

this like feel-good, kind of zany, kooky, kind of like, we're going to stay open all night.

It's going to be a party.

Yeah.

And then I get sick and I apologize, you know, to anybody who was disappointed I wasn't here.

I don't don't know if that was even the case or not.

Oh, I think people were disappointed you weren't here.

Oh, they definitely were.

I mean if they were disappointed Giddam wasn't here.

And Gidham got sick as well.

And I think we caught it.

I mean I don't even think.

Chuck came down to record a like a fucking stupid idea, a 30-second

idea I had where we would put on the internet for Cyber Monday.

It's not stupid.

It was fucking hysterical.

But it caught me sick though because Chuck, we didn't know Chuck was sick at that point.

And me, Giddam and Chuck in a room for about three hours it took to shoot that little spot.

I think that's where I got sick though.

Oh, man.

Because

he came down first with it.

Fuck.

But I was like, fuck.

I can't believe I'm missing Black Friday.

It really was a bummer.

Wow.

Did you come back and Friday?

I came two of the days.

Friday and Saturday.

Wow.

Yeah, Friday and Saturday I came.

And

how was the response?

There were so many people here.

That's awesome.

I was not prepared for it.

So many that he was annoyed by this.

No, not so many that I was annoyed by it.

We talked about this last week a little bit.

Is I came here, you know, and I was nervous about coming because I was like, you know, COVID, you know, I'm still not used to like being out and around people.

And then I and then I saw the line.

There was nobody's coming at midnight.

I knew I wasn't going to come that time.

What time did you come?

I came the next day.

Oh, okay.

I was here like five hours on Friday.

Five hours, I'd say.

Yeah, it would say five hours.

Maybe even longer.

I thought you were going to hear it.

Yeah, I was here for most of the day on Friday.

Awesome.

Oh, so fucking nobody gave a fuck, Dan, if I wasn't here.

He was here for five hours.

Well, I don't know.

On Black Friday?

I was here for like, I was probably here for another

Saturday.

I did not realize you played last nine hours.

Well,

when you were out,

I couldn't leave my boy here.

No, that's

Sunday.

Then I could.

Well, I heard Sunday was a real fucking light day, right?

Yeah, Sunday was like 1% of the private.

He told me not to come Sunday,

although I was.

But when I came, I was like, I was, I came in and there were so many people.

And I was like, this doesn't feel like safe.

Safe at all.

And they were all like, there were a bunch of ants sitting around here.

And then I had a couple of guests coming.

And I was like, they're not going to want to, like, that's.

So how many people were you expecting?

I figured like people trickle in and out.

Right.

You know, there'll be people.

But once you know that, once the buzz is about the building, that BQ is here.

I don't know.

And everybody's, no one's leaving then.

No one's going to walk in, just buy their shirt and leave.

They want to, you know, they want to schmooze.

Well, that's why we needed this room cleared.

I mean, 10 years of experience with this by now.

I know, like, people aren't going to leave.

So, like, we needed this room cleared just so we had basically like a COVID-free type area, maybe.

In your head.

In my head.

Like I said, I had a couple of people coming by, and I didn't want to be like, you know, this isn't what you thought it was.

Now you're standing there in there.

So then also, so we would take pictures and stuff like that.

And then we'd come in here and then they'd clear out and then we'd go back out.

So it was like a tide tide coming in and out.

It was good.

It was a lot of fun.

There were no, I mean, there was one guy that I was like, all right, with this fucking guy.

Yeah.

I was like, I'm like, why is this guy?

I mean, by the third time I got threatened to get hit in the fucking face, I was like, it was really weird.

I was like,

why?

I don't know why people think that the way to ingratiate yourself is to talk about kicking you in the face or like

balls and shit.

Yeah.

And I'm like, this is the second time this guy's threatened me in like fucking 20 minutes.

I was like, this kind of blows.

But, but,

but, uh,

but you know, and even he, but he was fine.

It was just like, everything was nice.

It was good.

It was actually good to see, you know, some of those faces I haven't seen in like two years at this point.

Like, it was cool to like see people and hang out and stuff.

You know, I got to put my Lego on display.

I saw that.

Yeah.

Yeah.

I saw that.

That is something that was built by your hands.

Built by my hands.

I don't know why I have the pride in it that I do.

I shouldn't, but I do.

It's on display now.

He overpriced it so nobody would buy it.

I don't even know the retail.

You could buy it in box new right now for like $3.80, right now.

Okay, but no box.

No, I have the box.

I can give the box and the book and everything like that.

It's got all the stuff.

But let's say somebody comes in this week and wants to buy it as is.

Yeah, we priced it at $5,000 first

because we didn't want anybody to buy it.

First date was $2,000.

$2,000.

Next date was $5,000.

$5,000 because I didn't want anybody to buy it.

So it's back down to, we don't know.

We don't know.

If I can get $1,000 for it, you're saying

don't take it.

I don't know.

Just be on display.

You're going to sell it.

I built it.

If you get $1,000 for it, you get $1,000 for it.

Nobody's going to pay $1,000 for it, right?

It's BQ built.

But I want to put it blood, sweat, and tears on those bricks.

I want to price it so nobody buys it.

We can entertain only.

15?

15.

You got to sell it for 15.

Yeah, 100%.

And I was saying, as much as it was a bummer for me not to be there, it also warmed my heart, though, that you guys leapt in and just were like,

that's teamwork and i and i and like there is so many people that like

you know that really just is just really um

you sent that kind of thanksgiving like feel-good into my into my body because like my we did the cyber monday and i couldn't do nothing for cyber monday we did it like because we run everything out of my garage yeah so my wife and my two daughters just were down there for hours packing shit and filling the orders and i'm just sitting there can i get more high sea

on the phone, texting them, like, we're filling your orders?

You'll get I C when we're done.

Yeah, I remember when we did the first vinyl cast, I had my mom and dad and my girlfriend and Stacy all working like seven-hour shifts to get them out.

You feel bad, but you know, it's nice.

Yeah, but like I couldn't help at all, and I felt terrible, and you know, but they were down there filling orders, and just it was just amazing, you know, when you like when you need help and help comes in droves.

It is nice.

Well, I will say,

though she is not here, I think a lot of that credit goes to Mary Bethlehem because she was the one that was running the store.

And I mean, running the store, like barking out to Rupert to do a good shot.

Yeah, I heard buying Rupert again.

I didn't even remember asking him.

I was so out of it.

I remember getting a text and like my phone, a lot of numbers come up and I don't know who it is, like because I don't have their names in.

So I have to look at previous texts, be like, okay, I know who I'm talking to now.

And they said, do you need any help?

And I just said, yeah, show up at midnight.

And I didn't even remember even saying it to Rupert.

And I saw him yesterday, and he was like, yeah, I was here for hours.

He was here.

He was great.

Yeah, he was awesome.

He's a great guy.

I love him.

He was great.

Victor and Alex.

Oh, they stopped by too?

Victor and Alex stopped by.

It was really, it was a

little TSD family event.

They came together and then, you know, eventually becomes Brian and I hiding in here while everybody else is working.

But you're the bosses.

You get to do that.

You know, we took a picture with everybody.

We didn't, we didn't, I don't think anybody that came while we were here didn't get to talk to us and take pictures and stuff like that.

I saw a video.

The only video I saw was from Tom Mum sent me a video, and I was stunned at this.

Of course, in this little room, it's going to look even like magnified 10 times how many people are in here.

But he had this phone up high and he was showing like all the heads that were in the room at one point.

And it really, I was like, oh, that's so cool.

That's exactly what I wanted.

But I want it to be there, though.

You got it for sure.

I was a little surprised that Brian allowed all the ants to go into every corner of the office.

I was a little surprised by that.

I would have done the same thing.

I would have let them go anywhere they wanted.

Really?

Fucking access.

You're an ant.

You're here on fucking midnight at Thanksgiving.

But it wasn't.

It was Friday afternoon.

Because it's like people want to come down.

I think they want more than just five minutes walking around the store and then be like, all right, see you later.

So it's like certain people were like, they came in here, they're hanging out, chatting, like having a good time.

I get that, but here's the problem, though.

One,

people steal shit.

No matter what.

No,

you can cut that out.

Be cute.

You can't accuse the ants.

Don't tell me that there's no, don't tell me there's no light-handed ants out there.

Whatever out there.

So you can't trust anybody.

You know what?

I would trust the ants.

I would give them

my bank details.

Every single one.

I would give them my back card.

I would give them my social security.

I'm going to read it off right here, right now.

It's $13970.

Listen to me.

Obviously, 98% of the answers, much like your health, 98% of the answer, great, but there's going to be the 2%.

I haven't met 2% yet.

They were out there.

I've seen somebody write it.

Wait a minute.

You might be right.

So there was that.

But then also, it's just like, all right, but then there's a fairness thing because,

all right, like if there's the same people, it's not like once they come and sit in these chairs, they're not fucking leaving.

No, I knew that though, I knew, but no, no, I don't mean they're not leaving us in terms of get the fuck out.

I don't want to see you.

I mean, like, well, then, like, then you got a backup of ants that want to come in here, and then who's hanging out in here?

Who's not getting to see the studio?

Then it becomes a fairness thing, and then we're in the middle of a fucking pandemic.

I just think, like, I don't know.

That's the one of the things that's the only thing I didn't miss because I knew that going in.

I was like, okay, how am I going to make it?

Because,

like, so that, like, a group leaves and another group can come in yeah and that was the only thing i was like i'm glad i don't have to deal with that i'm glad briars got to deal with that that's why i was like the lady of poltergeist i'm like all are welcome i just let everybody in at the same time in retrospect it probably would have been wiser to be like hey let's have small groups come in on like friday night because it did get pretty crowded in here and uh i saw some stuff online where people were like no masks to me i'm like everybody like no masks are required in businesses in new jersey and if you want to wear a mask go right ahead but i'm not going to force people if they don't want to, you know?

So that's the way I felt about it.

Like, they can make a decision for themselves.

Sure.

Yeah.

I think you did a great job.

And everybody else around them.

Yeah, I guess.

I would have had a sign up.

I would have had a sign-up that said 15-minute limit, masks must be worn.

Right.

I knew it was going to be dicey because, you know, it's like, oh, wait, I traveled from fucking Colorado.

There were people came far, man.

Texas.

Yeah, it's tough.

Maryland.

Yeah, that's hard.

And that's why I was, that's like I said, the only aspect of it I did not miss was that kind of like crowd control aspect.

I thought about it, though.

And I came up with a plan for the next time we do something like that.

We need, and I don't want to suggest fantasies, although it is right here, but we need

overflow.

Yeah, we do.

We need like a, like, let's say there was a bar in the thing.

Whatever we decide, just be like, hey, like, look, guys, like, we're having an ant meetup here the entire time.

So that's going to be.

We could do the bowling alley.

We could do the bowling alley, right?

And just be like, guys, you know, come into the stash.

And then, like, we set, get them down there, you know what I mean?

And it's like send groups over, right?

And this way, everybody gets their chance to like

community is what we want to keep.

So I was thinking maybe something like that.

And yeah.

And then an after party of fantasies.

Of course.

Yeah.

Yeah.

I'm not saying fantasies, but yet I've said fantasies twice.

I guess I'm saying fantasies.

Because it was fun.

It was fun to see people

and talk to people and stuff like that.

It was great.

But I was really impressed by Brian and Mary Beth.

Well, yeah.

I mean, they had to run the show.

Yeah.

The only thing I had to change was the

staying open for like 36 straight away.

I believe you made the right call.

See, to me, staying open that long

was just so silly and stupid.

I was like, I just want it, like, I just wanted to create for the first time, because I assume we're going to be here a while, our first Black Friday here.

I just wanted it to be

memorable.

And I thought, like, we're going to stay open all night.

It's stupid.

In retrospect.

Absolutely stupid, but I thought it was something that was kind of like, like I said,

on the zany side of things.

Right.

But Zaney, in this situation, would have equaled sitting around for like seven hours with nobody in here.

So many people came in and I was like, because I said, you know, we'll stay open from 12 to 3.

Yeah.

So many people came in in the beginning.

I was like, it's got to be like 2, 2.30.

I look at the clock.

It's 1.06.

And this is like everybody had cleared out by this point.

And there were only a couple of people left.

Two hours, nobody came in.

And I was like, I cannot imagine if I was sitting there.

No, I think you absolutely made the right call.

The only reason I would have stayed open straight on through from midnight to 7 p.m.

or whatever it was, Friday, because Giddam would have been here.

Right.

And I would have left at a certain point.

And

I had bought Giddam the baseball uniform as the office manager or office coach.

And I was supposed to, like, it was.

It was deflating to not be able to be a part of it.

But, you know.

The good thing is we can do that anytime we want.

Right.

Yeah, we can.

It doesn't have to be Black Friday.

It could be like we're having a Telum Steve.

Like a Frank Five Day.

Yeah.

You know?

Hey, bud.

I like the Christmas Santa suit.

Thank you.

I hope you're not sweating your balls off.

Or are you?

Yeah.

It was your idea.

I had announced that throughout December that

Kiddum would be in a Santa Claus outfit when he was working at the store.

And I got sick and I'd forgotten about it.

And I showed up to work and he's wearing the Santa outfit.

And I was like, you really don't have to wear the Santa outfit.

I said, I think the plans kind of fell through, I said.

But, you know, to his credit, he's like, he agreed to wear the Santa outfit.

So in his mind, he's like, I have to wear the Santa outfit.

Good for him, man.

Yeah, I stopped by a couple days after Black Friday when Gidem had come back and he had his full office coach outfit on.

Doesn't it look awesome?

It's amazing.

He's got a whistle and everything.

Yeah.

He's good in the commercials that you guys did.

Mary Beth said the same.

She was like, wow, Ginim's really good at this.

Yeah, he is.

I was impressed.

I was impressed by him.

Yeah, I was supposed to do all the talking, but I went down to Target and bought a black mouthpiece, like a football mouthpiece.

And then when I realized when I put it on my mouth, I couldn't talk.

And I was like, oh, you got to do all the talking.

I said, no, I'll just sit here.

And then Chuck didn't even use the mouthpiece.

He just went in and just erased and just blacked it out and posted.

That Chuck, man.

He's not giving you COVID.

he's coming up with great ideas.

He's a good guy, that Chuck.

We're just surrounded.

I mean, surrounded by good people.

Yeah.

Yeah.

I don't know how we got so lucky.

I don't think it's luck.

I think you're a good person.

Good people.

Like a magnet?

Like cork.

Yeah.

Magnet cork.

I hate to break up the good times with a spot, but we got three of them this week.

It's Christmas time.

People want to get their products out there.

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So we got this stuff, you know, we got it.

And it comes, you've gotten it, right?

Green Chef, yes.

It comes in.

It's licious.

It's license.

I say it's like, you're right.

That's the gem wall.

But it comes with those gel packs, you know, to the frozen gel packs to keep the stuff cold.

So I came home.

We were actually, it was not the last time we were recording because that was Space Monkeys, but the time before when the three of us were here.

And I got home and Mary Beth's like, I think I did something bad.

And I was like, what do you mean?

You did something bad.

And she says,

she cut open the gel packs and poured them down the sink.

And she's like, and now nothing will go down the sink.

And

I was like, well, why are we going to open it?

How did she cut them open?

That's what I said.

She's like, well, it said in order to recycle this stuff.

And I was like, wait a second.

I read what it said, and it's like, to dispose of.

It says cut open and dispose or it is.

Cut open and dispose of the inside stuff.

And then you're supposed to recycle the plastic, which is like, where the fuck are we going to recycle this plastic?

It's like, I guarantee 99 out of 100 people are just fucking throwing this shit away, and the other 1% are fucking pouring it down the sink.

So then I have to call a goddamn plumber.

It really, what it like, it's solidified?

I don't know if it's solidified.

Like, at first, it was like, none of this shit was going down.

So I put Draino down there to see if that would help.

It didn't help.

And then the next day, it was fine.

It was fine for like three days.

And then it backed up again.

And then fucking nothing would go down.

No Draino or anything.

So I had to call

a plumber, and he comes in with his snake.

You know, you got to snake the fucking thing.

400 bucks.

That's a lot of money.

It's lucky Green Chef is offering 10 free meals to make up for it.

I know.

The plumbing.

I would have had to have taken it

out of our menu.

I couldn't believe it.

I was like, come on, man.

Why would you do that?

She's like, I don't know.

I'm not sure if you guys have ever seen this.

But there is these Saudis, if they're not building real tall towers or, you know, restricting women's rights, they're having

camel beauty contests.

Whoa.

I never heard of that before.

Yeah, evidently it's a fucking pretty big deal.

Camels are beautiful animals.

They can get even more beautiful if you use Botox on them.

I think.

I mean, is that like

sarcasm?

No.

I think they're like some of the most

homely looking animals on the planet.

Yeah, there's nothing about them that's like sleek or

that kind of just look like

special horses.

No,

like hunchbacks,

like quasimodo horses.

They're so cute.

Yes, they can, yes, but in a way that, like, where you feel sorry because they're so like,

their jaws never line up right.

They're like on the chew they're all like off to the side and shit.

And cud is always like falling out of their mouth.

It's spitting out.

Yeah.

I mean, I met a camel, and he was cool.

I bet you met him too.

That little camel they locked me in the cage with.

Oh, yeah.

Yeah, he was awesome.

He was pretty cool here.

He was fucking great.

Any animal, any animal,

no matter how ugly it is, will look cute because it's so homely.

But there are some animals that can't look homely.

They're so elegant and they're so graceful, like a black panther or a black leopard or

even a zebra.

I hear what you're saying, but I think camels have that same beauty.

I do.

It's like, you know, when people like, you see a calendar for all ugly dogs, you just fall in love with it, and you just want an ugly dog.

Yeah, but then what is beauty, I guess?

What's the nature of beauty?

We all know.

We all know.

Well, I know what it is in humans.

24, 36.

So these guys, more than 40 camels were booted from a Saudi Arabian beauty pageant after getting administered Botox hormones and other appearance enhancing techniques.

They bumped up their humps.

I guess so.

Wow, yeah.

What does Botox do for a camel?

You guys put it in its lips?

Yeah.

Puts it in their lips.

Now that is just so stereotypical

because you know,

you just you've you've heard the the

stereotypes about like, you know, the guys from the Middle East just want to fuck camels.

I never heard that.

I've got to be honest.

But now that there's a fucking beauty pageant where somebody's like,

I want to fuck that one really big.

That was a good-looking camel.

Did you see that picture?

Are they judged?

Like, does their hump play into the overall judgment?

Like, is like a big big hump, like a big booty?

It doesn't say so.

Or like a big rack?

Like a big old fucking wreck?

No,

it doesn't say anything about the humps.

And they have those spindly legs with these with those big

knobby knees.

Yeah, I like that.

Nasty hooves.

No.

Come on.

With a membrane between the toes.

You're looking at

a pinnacle of evolution.

Yes, it's like the perfect creature.

Yeah.

I've heard that too.

Excited about a camel.

Yeah, I They can survive anything.

They don't have to drink for so long.

They got that hump.

They're made for the death.

I went two weeks without drinking.

Yeah, there you go.

But see, whereas you needed like a doctor's help, a camel would be like,

camel would look down on you for having to do that.

$66 million in prize money.

The camels are judged on the shape of their

$66 million in prize money.

But not one camel wins 66 million.

Oh, no.

Oh, okay.

I was about to find Pepe.

The camels are judged on the shape of their heads, necks, humps, dress, and postures.

Think of the camel equivalent of the Westminster dog.

This just falls into all the stereotypes of Middle Eastern dudes.

How?

A camel herder?

I want to say it out loud.

Because that's where the camels live.

You're not going to get a camel herder in Wisconsin.

Right, but it's like, you know how, like, in the South, you know, every dude's fucking a sheep.

You didn't hear that about like in Middle East, all the dudes are fucking

nine.

I didn't carry her with me into my 40s.

Well, neither did I until I bribe brought this up.

I know.

This seems to be proof.

I was outraged that anybody would ever say that in front of me, but now I'm like,

how could I outrage people

when actually they're going through these kind of lengths to make their cows pretty?

Well, you live in a country that does child beauty pageants, so I wouldn't worry too much.

I would look to your own house before you start worrying about.

I would start worrying about cleaning my own.

Yeah.

Wow, that's right.

Yeah.

It's not just that either.

The beauty page.

I mean, they marry children over there, so I guess

we're better than them.

Like a couple pounds of makeup on a four-year-old.

Don't you look twice our way, fucking Saudi Arabia.

The beauty pageant is part of a month-long royal camel festival, which features camel races, a petting zoo with the world's tallest and shortest camels,

museums, and other camel-related pursuits featuring thousands of these desert-dwelling beasts.

Beasts?

That's not a proper way to,

I would think, something so beloved.

Yeah, well, this kind of makes it.

This is the post saying it.

I guess maybe the Arabs would not be happy with it.

And you've ridden a camel.

I think I've ridden a camel, but I was locked

in

Middle Eastern style.

I was locked in a cage with a camel for like 10 hours, and it was a baby camel.

He was only a few months old.

And the mother wasn't around to defend him?

No.

No, it didn't need any defending, man.

The camel was awesome.

For a cue?

I don't know what's going on.

His owner and him came in, and they were so bonded, him and the owner, and then I bonded with him.

He was awesome, man.

Pepe, I wonder how he's doing.

He's probably an adult now, right?

A couple of years later.

Three years, yeah, three, four years.

This isn't the first time a pageant has been

busted a camel breeder for employing band beautification techniques.

A dozen beasts were also disqualified in 2018 after handlers used Botox to make them more handsome.

Ever considered Botox?

No.

No.

That's not true.

I've considered Botox.

I thought you told me you were.

Oh, I guess, yeah.

I never went for it, but yeah, I did actually, under my arms, because it stopped sweating.

Oh, okay.

But then the world shut down and I never sweat again.

After I got married and I saw some of the pictures of myself, that's when I considered Botox, like these fucking heavy lines up here.

Yeah, yeah, like when I'm like, ha ha ha.

Did you do it?

No, I never did it.

I did Did you look into the price?

What's a Botox treatment run nowadays?

No, no, let's tell you.

Some months, they have Botox parties

where they do it in the house.

But is it somebody qualified to administer Botox?

Oh, like it's a Mexican Botox or some shit like that.

No offense, Kevin.

But

Mexican Botox is not known for its

own that they may not even use real Botox over there.

They use cement and shit.

That's to put in your ass, yeah.

Yeah, right?

They have to know.

Like, the person's like, this is is not going to end well if I put cement in someone's body.

I don't think they care.

They're like, fuck it.

They'll be on the plane back to America before it solidifies no problem.

No, this doesn't seem that bad.

It says you can, in bigger cities, you can expect to pay.

Why do they have to have a fucking whole article about it?

Dynamic wrinkles, static wrinkles.

Here you go.

Okay.

Anywhere from $10 to $25 per injection.

That's not bad.

If you pay per area, getting Botox in your forehead will cost $250 on the low end and up to $600 on the high end.

Most adults get 20 to 30 units in their forehead for their wrinkles and

$150 to $400 for Botox for your crow's feet.

So that's what I would have been spending.

That's not bad.

I wonder how long does it last?

Anywhere from three to five months.

I look like such a mess, though, that I'm going to be like, that's what I'll take care of.

The fucking three wrinkles in my eyes.

Jesus Christ.

I gotta get back on the horse diet-wise, man.

It's a fucking

criminal.

It's criminal.

I hear you, dude.

I'm in the same boat.

I know I'm eating pizza right now, but that's because I'm so fucking hungry.

Although, I've gone, I've worked out for three weeks now.

Oh, yeah?

Yeah, I'm back.

Back in it.

Three days a week.

Yeah, I'm working out again.

Sucks.

Oh, yes.

I had a rough week.

Oh, yeah.

I had a public service announcement.

So, so

Benjamin Kat, 17-year-old cat, he's my boy.

I love him.

He started acting really weird this week.

You know, he has seizures every once in a while, so my antenna is always up for any behavior that's unusual when it comes to this guy, and he's so old.

But he started, he's like running, he was moving so fast around the house that I thought he was one of my other cats because he doesn't move that way.

And then I noticed him, and I was like, that's something's wrong.

Benjamin does not have that pep in his step.

And then I noticed

he would run, stop, lick himself like crazy all over his body for like five minutes, then run, stop, and do that until he exhausted himself.

Then he would fall asleep and he would wake up licking himself.

And I was like, motherfucker, he has the seizures.

Like, something must be going on in his brain.

Like, this isn't good.

Hopefully, tomorrow is better.

Next day is even worse.

He's not acting like himself.

I can't get him to settle down.

He's agitated.

His eyes are wide the fuck open, like blown open, not cat's eyes.

And I'm like, he must have a brain tumor tumor or something that's causing him now to act this way.

And like, I

am not ashamed to say spent two days just crying, like just weird tears just coming out of my eyes.

Well, did you Google it?

Well, yeah.

And that's what made you think brain tumor, or did you just

anecdote to like the worst case scenario?

That's based on his history.

Oh, okay.

Yeah.

Okay.

So I called the vet and I was like, you know, I need to bring him in right now.

And they're like, doctor's not here.

You can come tomorrow.

So, I had like two days where I was like really, like, in a panic, and I was just like, it was miserable, man.

Just

like,

it's like two days of just like wet-cheeked, like, worried about him, and shit like that.

And then

the doctor's like, well, what changed?

What changed?

And the only thing I can think of is we started giving him

CBD

in the morning and at night.

You know, they give the cats the CBD oil for the pain.

They give it with dogs and stuff like that.

And

but you just implemented that recently?

Well, only gave it to him at night to help him go to sleep, but recently recently started doing it in the morning as well.

And it was like, I can't be it.

Can it?

Like, it's CBD oil.

So I went online and looked, and there's all this fucking research that you really should not, it's not as safe as everybody thinks to just give your cat and dog CBD oil.

And what happened was I was essentially poisoning them.

And it was the same dose.

It was only like three, four more drops.

It wasn't like an insane amount.

And his, it's almost akin to a poisoning/slash allergic reaction that

fucked him up.

So I stopped giving him all the CBD oil.

And within the next day, he had a mini episode.

The day after that, completely 100% fine.

And I was like, motherfucker, fucking CBD.

And

I've been told by vets to give him CBD oil.

I've been told by the holistic vet to give him him CBD oil.

Nobody ever warned me about the overdosing of it.

So it's just anybody out there that is giving this, like, I just urge you to look into it because it was, he's 100% perfectly fine.

Fine.

It was the CBD oil.

He was like overdosing on CBD.

When was this?

This was this week.

This week?

Because when I was at your place last week and I saw him, I was like, this is one fucking chilled-out cat, like hanging up on a fireplace.

Oh, no, that's how he is normally.

He doesn't move.

He's like a stuffed animal now.

Yeah.

Yeah.

He wants to just be next to me or on me and sleeping.

That's all he wants to do now.

And that's normally how we spend our days together.

So it was unusual to see him running around like that.

Yeah.

I don't know.

That's good.

That is good information to relay, though, because

most people wouldn't even think they think they're doing something good.

I thought I was.

Because the CBD fucking

big CBD industry.

Yeah, they're never going to be like, they're never going to come out and tell you that you're poisoning your cat.

They're just going to be like, yeah, this is great for the joints.

Yeah, let's build some hemp rope too while you're at it, and build them a little hammock.

And like, all the great uses of pot.

All right, all right.

Don't co-op my fucking story into this.

All I'm saying is, like, if you're going in and just buying the CBDL, like, it's fine.

The one dose is fine.

I'm not giving them any now, but like, I'm just keep an eye on it to all you pet owners out there.

Because it was a rough few days in the Quinn house.

I imagine so.

Oh, yeah.

17 years.

17 years.

And he's, I, you know, he means so much to me.

And he's like, I know he's going to die one day, but,

you know, I was like, I'm quitting the show.

I'm not doing anything.

I'll never be happy again without you.

Like stuff like that.

It was pretty bad, but he's good now.

Oh, boy.

Yeah.

But internet.

It's not all bad.

That's not all bad.

No, not all bad.

It's good.

Plenty of pornography and CBD facts.

CBD facts.

And also, you can order Acons off the internet.

Oh, I see where you're going with that.

Yeah, by now, you've probably seen about a thousand gift guys for the holiday season.

Are you all shopped up, Walt?

I don't have anything from my boys.

I don't even know what to buy

from my,

but I have, but

the most important person that I have to buy for is done.

She's taken care of.

Yeah, the missus is taken care of.

And

I'm sorry.

Like, if I get a little attitude from you guys because I don't have a present for you, it's just not on the same level.

So, why wasn't the woman I delivers?

Well, they've got gifts for moms, gifts for guys, gifts for your neighbor's cousin's dog.

Cat.

How can a dog use Raycons?

I don't know.

I think they're trying to be a little silly in this copy.

Zaney?

Yeah, a little like.

Like, staying open all night on Black Friday, Zaney.

Except they didn't draw the line.

They weren't like, fuck that shit.

You can start your shopping at Raycon and get a gift everyone will use.

Raycon Wireless Earbuds.

I love them, man.

I've had to use mine recently quite a bit because

my other half is taken to snoring.

Oh, yeah.

Yeah.

I don't know what's going on.

Hard snoring?

Hard snoring, where she even puts the strip on, like the nasal shows.

Doesn't seem to.

If it's not her snoring, it's one of the cats bathing.

Oh, my God.

It drives me fucking insane.

My dog does that.

Oh, it drives me insane.

But I had my Cooper, I couldn't see Cooper for two weeks because

I was ill.

And one of the things I looked forward to so much getting out of isolation was just laying in the bed and having him come up on one side.

And I know you don't like snoring, but I can't tell you how

ASMR levels of comfort is when that dog starts snoring and I could feel the vibrations in my body.

Oh, yeah.

It's like, like, it's like, I was like, I don't need no fucking medicine.

I got this fucking 45-pound French bulldog snoring.

I mean, that's all I need to be better.

Doctors disagreed, I bet.

Yeah.

Yeah, yeah.

The medical community is still out.

They're still out in that one.

They're like, yeah, that and two bags of fluid.

Oh, yeah.

But man, he could snore like.

like a 300-pound man.

Yeah.

And he's laying right next to me.

That's what it sounds like.

Like an overweight, obese 300 man just like.

Snore I sneak into my bed.

Yeah, I snore when I put on, when I'm heavier than I normally am, I snore like a beast.

Yeah.

Yeah.

The fat around my neck constricts.

Just get it.

Just kind of prop your head up.

Oh, I'm asleep.

It's not my problem.

Why is it cuter to have an animal snoring right next to you than like a person's just kind of like, come on?

Yeah, I know, right?

But like an animal, I'm just like, oh my God, I just can't, I just can't have enough of this animal snoring.

I think I have an answer.

Why?

Because I think snoring in humans is undignified.

You should know better.

It's like that's the bitch of it, is you can't help it.

But like,

if a woman starts snoring, I'm like, what the fuck?

Like,

how unladylike isn't.

Lady Shell snoring.

What is this?

Like, even though I know it's not right, I'm like, I don't know about this.

And, and, and, like, I've been with women who are like, you fucking snored last night.

It was disgusting.

i'm like i know

it's undignified yeah but animals you know i don't yeah it's just like i couldn't wait for it it's like isolation it's like i i wouldn't want to date a woman that looked like a camel but i love a camel you know what i mean

yeah i don't mind the cat snoring because it's very quiet like yeah it's cute i don't like sounds like spongebob and shit

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I've got in the hiccups.

Speaking of Christmas, I wanted to announce the release of the Tel Em Steve Dave 2021 Christmas special.

It's going to be on December 21st, a Tuesday on the Patreon and on Bandcamp, but it's going to be late in the evening.

Usually our Patreon releases drop early in the morning.

But that Tuesday, we need as much time as possible to get all the finishing touches on it.

And it's going to be December 21st, probably in the 10-ish, 11 p.m.

All right.

Cool.

Looks forward to that.

Some things

for the Christmas episode, some things we haven't tried before.

Yeah, I'm excited.

We're recording it this week.

I have something special to bring in to show you guys.

Oh, I cannot wait for this.

We've been talking about it for quite some time.

Yeah.

I understand, speaking of Christmas, you know, Chuck of COVID fame.

Chuck and Brad, his partner, they're having a Christmas show this month.

It should be COVID Chuck.

Yeah.

It's from now on.

Everyone, just

if you see Chuck, I'll break Chuck.

Poor Chuck.

He's having a live show at the Smodcast.

Yes, and I hear that a Tellum Steve Dave alumni, one of the players, the not ready for

Smodcastle players is going to be there.

Who are you doing it?

No, not me.

Who?

Somebody else.

He's moonlighting.

Giddam?

Yes.

Coach himself.

Get out of here.

He's been asked to be be a part of the live Chuck's Christmas show.

Wow.

Look at Giddem.

He's now the guy that people get to get eyeballs on projects.

He's a star.

Chuck must have noticed him in that commercial and been like, wow, this guy can fucking deliver.

Yeah.

Did you have any feelings about that?

Or are you like, whatever?

No, none at all.

I hope it does extremely well for them and they go on the road.

Why are they doing a regular thing?

Well, then this way we don't have to pay him

every week.

I'm finding there's not that much to fucking shuffle his way at a certain point at the Teleste Dave General store.

There's only so many French cleats one can build.

One thing when

I also like Rupert quite a bit.

And he told me something that at first I thought he was fucking around, but then he's like, no, I'm serious.

That when he got married, his one request was that the New Jersey Devil show up, the actual mascot for the news.

Oh, yeah, New Jersey Devil.

He told me that.

Yep, that was

paid for that.

Oh, yeah, yeah.

I didn't think it was free.

But

I was like, what?

What?

I'm a big Devils fan.

But I've kind of like, you know, I find myself, my interest level has gone from a 10 to

if it's at a two right now.

That's saying a lot because they're not on TV anymore.

Yeah.

Because there's been a contract dispute with the local cable company, my local, and so they're not being televised.

But even before that, because they've been so bad for so long, my interest level has definitely taken a fucking nosedive.

But even at my heights, like, and if I was in 1994, I was like, Deb,

so now I got the best idea ever.

There's going to be a guy in a stuffed animal costume.

She's like,

I'm still on the fence about inviting Brian.

She's like,

what kind of stuffed animal?

What kind of costume?

I was like, the devil.

Get this.

The jersey devil.

And she's still not entirely sure what you mean.

NJ!

NJ Devil's coming.

It only cost us five grand.

How much did you ever tell you how much it cost?

It was a lot.

Was it?

Yeah.

You only get married once.

But, yeah, I mean, you have to think the missus is a Devils fan

who agrees to that, right?

Otherwise, she's looking at you like, oh, you snore.

Like you're you're undignified.

Is there a mascot?

Is there one mascot that you like that you look back looking back now, you'd be like, fuck.

I really wish I had thought to invite this mascot.

No.

Maybe some of the Jersey Devils dancers.

They're gone.

Yeah, they got rid of the NJ dancers.

I know, so they need a gig.

I got 40 bucks to go to my wedding.

Q, any mascot?

I mean, Mr.

Matt.

Gritty.

Gritty.

I don't know.

I don't know.

San Diego chicken.

The Philly fanatic.

No, no, no.

Nobody I would want.

Well, you're a Yankees fan.

Who do they have?

Who's their number?

These are too classy for you.

Oh, yeah.

I don't fuck around with you.

Dude, they hit a home run.

They don't worry about fucking selling shirts to kids.

He hasn't watched a game in fucking 25 years.

That's not true.

You still watch games?

I actually watched the majority of the games this season.

Really?

I had them on every day.

That Met 10 Yankees were running to my my house.

Okay, I take that back.

I apologize.

What would it take to get you back into the Devils?

An exciting season?

You know what it is?

It's almost like music and comics.

It's like my guys

retired.

And now they just bring in

constant overhaul.

Like, okay, you can't even, they don't even stay around long enough to learn their names, these players.

And they all look like they're like 12.

When I got into hockey,

fucking hockey players were fucking men.

These guys look like they can't even shave.

Yeah, I'm sorry.

You talking about the United States of America or a hockey team right now?

Which

was it?

It's so fucking weird.

I mean, like, these are like

scary ass motherfuckers.

Like, remember they used to skate without helmets?

Yeah.

I mean, I know these guys still are like, are still hardcore upper-tier athletes, but they're not the guys that I grew up with and that

I

felt I commiserated with even though I've never met them like when they lost I lost yeah when they won I won

I don't know if that's coming back anymore at this stage of my life wow I think that is a that is a window that's only open for so long and I think that window closed because

but some people that window is yeah for some people but for yeah I feel like I've aged out of that kind of like wow man commitment although like but I I just kind of funneled it over into a much easier fandom.

Just one man.

Tom Brady plays 16 games a year.

I could fucking muster up the interest to be interested for 16 games.

The NHL is like, oh, okay, we have 82 games.

Oh, and then we might have, like, might have 25 playoff games.

Yeah, yeah.

You're not, one-third of your year is spent just fucking being tied to that television.

Wow.

And then being disappointed a lot.

Yes.

And only

out of those 25 years of being hardcore, only three turned out well.

So 22 years of fucking depression and three years of

absolute unbridled joy.

That's not a good payoff.

It's not a good ratio.

But they're still your team.

Yes, they're still my team.

I mean, you're wearing the jerseys of the team.

Well, that's because

everybody just constantly buys me devil stuff.

But even though I want to wear it, though, I'm still a fan, but

I haven't been a good fan.

I've been a bad fan.

All right.

Stop buying Walt Devil's stuff, everybody.

Good fan invites him to his wedding.

That's an Uber fan.

Invites the mascot to his wedding.

Oh, yeah.

I got invited to.

I think you did too.

I just didn't go to

Rupert's wedding.

Oh, yeah.

Yeah, me neither.

I just felt like I wouldn't know anybody there but Rupert, and I think he would be kind of committed to paying attention to his

pride.

His pride, his family.

His family, yeah.

Rupert, what the fuck?

Hanging out with the fucking Jersey Devil the whole time.

Okay, let me knock this one out real fast.

All right.

And I know it's one everybody loves, meundies.

It's somehow already the end of 2021, which means for the next few weeks we're roasting chestnuts instead of friends.

Oh, boy.

I know.

Why?

Why?

Let me just go right to the personal endorsement because

I love the company.

I don't like the copy.

I actually just got, they sent me pajamas.

Did you have some pajamas?

I did.

I put those babies on as soon as I got them.

What's going on there?

What is going on?

Some nice plaid, like quality

fucking job.

Why am I getting anything?

I don't even get the wrong sizes anymore.

I don't get anything.

I don't know why, because I know Mary Beth took care of it.

She took care of it.

She didn't take care of it because I'm not getting anything.

She took care of it.

She told me that it's going to,

not your house house.

Yeah.

It's going to your office house.

Right, but I'm not getting it.

You're going to have to talk to your assistant.

All right.

Do you have a ring?

She could be stealing it.

Yeah.

You have a ring?

Yeah.

Do you monitor it?

It could be porching.

I'm going to test it right now.

Okay.

Let me read on.

Are you a onesie person or a matching PJ sets with the fan person?

How about neither?

How about I just like to wear the pajamas?

Yeah, like

I like a top and a bottom.

I don't like a onesie.

No,

nobody can take you seriously in a onesie.

That's for like people who are zany.

It's for the young kids who wear onesies.

And usually it's girls.

Dudes, no dude looks good.

Right.

I saw a couple.

I was in Target and there was a couple and they were wearing like holiday onesies out.

And the dude looked like it's not like I could say anything to the guy because he could have easily kicked my ass.

But I'm just like, what are you doing, man?

Like, I guess that's how you can do it: is when you're fucking like you got your tatted up and you got muscles and shit, nobody's going to say anything to you.

I just got the irony of it all, right?

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You went to the mall?

That must have been hellish.

Well, the misses wanted to do some Christmas shopping.

You didn't COVID out?

You weren't like, oh, I'm not feeling it.

You You can't do that now.

It hurts.

Yeah, actually, I wanted to go, you know, because I only recently have come out of isolation.

And

I

regretted that decision, though, man.

It was fucking packed.

And also, the malls,

there's so many empty stores now.

It's just so depressing.

And that means that everybody's then forced, like almost like gerbils in a maze, to go to the few stores stores that are open.

And it was like my wife went into one store to buy stuff for our daughters, and she didn't come out of that store for fucking almost two hours because of the line.

Oh, my God.

Jesus.

Yeah.

I used to love going Christmas shopping at the mall, though.

I used to love the devils.

Yeah, what's happening?

Just wise them.

Just not smart.

Like, the internet came around, and you're like, what the fuck?

You mean I could just go online and buy this shit?

Yeah, that's for Mary Beth, that's I bought I bought bought her stuff from the internet.

I didn't go to any store.

I just knew what I wanted, went online.

They fucking send it to you.

It's beautiful.

You could even have them rapid fee if you want.

Yeah.

Are you guys all done with your Christmas shopping?

No.

Now,

what does a

still a relatively recently married man, how many presents do you need, do you think, in your head to be in a safe zone?

Well,

usually at Christmas I get her a piece of jewelry so that she knows it's not cheap.

So I

She knows it's not cheap.

Yeah, she knows that jewelry is not cheap.

So I don't have to really

go out of my way with a lot of presents.

So far this year, I have three.

And I definitely.

And now I feel I have three as well.

Okay.

And

I feel, you know, married since 94, I can get away with three good presents.

And not even on the high-end, just thoughtful presents.

None of mine are thoughtful.

I threw money at them.

Oh, really?

I don't fucking like the fact that a guy who's only been married two years thinks that you get by with three friends.

That's bullshit.

You need to do a lot of

shopping than that, you know, at that.

You're only two years.

He set the tone, though.

She doesn't expect that anymore.

You're lucky I got three.

Do you agree or disagree with that?

I mean, jewelry is a big, it's a slam gift.

I probably, if I was in.

Is it a stereotype, though?

It's like, you know, that's like only gals' best friends is a diamond.

I am a gooder diamond.

I don't know.

Maybe, maybe, are they all good gifts?

Because what I used to do is like a centerpiece gift and then like five little gifts, like a t-shirt.

You know what I mean?

Like fun stuff.

Well, how many do you need to get your significant other if you have a significant other?

For me,

I think the magic number is like I'm comfortable with five.

Yeah.

I think the big one and then four little ones.

Nice.

But the big one.

I agree with that.

It's a good number.

Like two.

What did I get?

Two.

No, God, the pandemic just fucking robs the years.

Five years ago.

Yeah, I got.

What the fuck did I get?

It was.

Might have been a trip.

Oh, I've never gotten jewelry.

I've never done jewelry.

It's not something I've ever bought anybody, really.

Isn't that weird?

The first year I didn't get her jewelry, I got her her LASIK for her eyes.

Yeah, see, I like stuff like that.

Yeah.

I was going to get her.

This year I was going to get her.

I don't know.

It's just like, to me, it's like, Merry Christmas, baby.

Here's a medical procedure.

She loved it, though.

I know, but it just doesn't seem.

I understand that.

It's a good gift.

But

if I got that, I would be like.

It's like in a pair of glasses.

Yeah.

I'd be like, well, this is not fun.

Right.

Like, you know, someone's working on my eyes, some wacko who does.

Again, I didn't get it done in Mexico.

Dr.

Kiggles.

Some cement interacts while you're doing it.

So we got down to hear what I got, like one of the couple of the gifts that I got.

Yeah.

In the airport plaza, I'm sure you've seen the sign because the signs are everywhere.

It's a place called Moore Yarn.

Okay.

Have you seen the sign?

I've heard you talk about yarn.

So the other night,

I'm listening to them while I'm in the other room in isolation, and they're going, you know, I would literally love you.

I need I see.

My wife goes, would you guys like to take a class?

on crocheting or knitting and and both of them were like yeah i would do that i would do that.

So I was like, Fuck, I'll go get them gift certificates to more yarn.

Yeah.

So I thought that was a really good gift.

And the other gift I got was

it's a cookie jar.

And I put the two dogs' heads on either side, and then I found this like high-res image that says Merry Christmas.

And I placed the heads.

Like, I erased

they're wearing like scarves, like Christmas scarves.

And I erased their bodies and placed the head so it looks like a professionally done logo.

You did this or

get him, did it?

I did it.

Oh, nice.

Yeah, I did it on my iPad.

And I brought this cookie jar with that on it.

And it just says, Merry Christmas.

But in the past,

I've done the same thing using the dog heads or doing dog images.

And I found it it can annoy the children.

What do you mean?

Because they're like, why are you giving mom, constantly giving her things with the dogs' heads on?

We know what they look like.

Instead of us.

Oh, really?

Yeah.

They want it.

No, they want to be the pictures he's given.

Oh, yeah.

They are like, why are you

constantly giving her dogs the dogs?

I don't have a good answer.

I'm always kind of like,

I didn't have a good picture of you guys.

I mean, you're old enough to know this.

We love the dogs more than you.

So what was the big one?

Please tell me the

cookie.

You said you got our big one?

A big gift?

No,

I got her another gift.

It's just like a jacket.

Those are the three things I've gotten so far.

Three things you've gotten so far.

I may go with Q.

I think Q was a good.

I think something's telling me to follow Q buys and get five.

Yeah, but they could be little things, like tiny

things.

I mean, when I used to go on tour, you know, back in the day when the world was open, like when we would, you know, we, I would, I would Christmas shop all year because one, it would be fucking March.

We'd be in.

Denver.

So I'd find like a little shop in Denver and I'd see something weird that you can only find, you know what I mean?

Like, and I'd buy it and then just put it aside.

So, by the end of the year, all my Christmas shopping was done.

Now,

I'm in the same mad dash as everybody else to be like, nobody.

But doesn't that kind of make you give you the hustle and bustle feel of like it does?

It's

magic.

But people who are getting gifts from me are losing the fucking ability to get weird gifts from all over the world.

But you tell them, like, man, I was in the shit this year.

I mean, I was out buying shit to the last fucking minute.

I was out with the average.

Did children.

Do you impress them?

Or

average children?

With the little people.

Yeah.

The scum.

I waited in line.

I'm not doing that.

I'll send Helen.

I'm in line waiting.

What are your thoughts on a gift card?

You can't do a gift card for the Mrs.

Not like a Visa card, but a specific place, like say Victoria Street, right?

Well, that's what I got.

Like I said, I got a gift card to the Moor Yorn.

And I feel like that is going to be the

one that kicks it up

this Christmas because I don't even think they have any idea that I even knew.

You were even sick and you were listening.

Yeah, that's good.

Yeah, I wonder if they'll be weirded out.

They're like, dying for some human contact.

How would you know?

Lying on the floor of my ears.

It's fucking tough, isn't it?

Too hard.

Oh, it sucked.

It was terrible.

I fucking hated it.

Now I'm afraid of getting COVID because I was sure I had had it.

Now I'm sure I didn't have it.

You do not want it.

It is weird.

The isolation is fucking weird.

Like, you don't think that 10 days, you did full two weeks of 10 days?

14 days.

If I did 10 and I was like, you wouldn't think that it would be so hard, but by the end of the fucking third day, you're like, I need to talk to people.

Like,

this sucks.

I'm so bored and lonely and miserable.

And you're like, for me, it was like I would wake up around nine o'clock in the morning.

And so then I started to know the schedule of like, of the channels that I could bear.

Nothing good is on during the day.

Nothing is good on during the day.

Sure, TV probably has something you can do.

Yes,

I watched some IJ when

you guys were trying to sell the ring

in the house ring.

It was really good.

Thank you.

They cut out my favorite joke, but thank you.

What was your favorite joke?

They had these things on the side.

It was in for a brief second, but they put hamster water bottles all over the wall.

I remember.

But there was a big part of it was us having to, like, the only way we could drink was these hamster things, and it was driving us fucking insane.

And, like, we were losing it.

And I thought that shit should have been in there, but some stuff had to go.

Yeah, I watched that at the height of being sick, and it was, it was, it still was, made me go, that's pretty fucking funny.

I like that.

Thanks.

But yeah, then,

but I liked variety, so I'd be watching Hazel.

Does anybody remember Hazel?

Oh, yeah.

Oh, my God.

It's so terrible.

Dennis the Menace.

It was like she was a maze in the 60s.

Oh, really?

It's like a sitcom.

Okay.

And it's like, it's brutal.

The writing is so

bad.

Oh, my God.

Like, she wants a new fangled vacuum cleaner.

And that's the whole episode.

Started trying to convince her to.

That's funny.

Game Show Network, I would watch.

Oh, yeah.

Oh, my God.

And then

what I would watch that really brought back memories of being a kid was at 10 o'clock at night on antenna TV, Johnny Carson's on.

And I could remember, like, it brought me back to times, like, the only time I got to really watch Johnny Carson was when I was sick.

And my mom was like, you don't have to go to school tomorrow.

So she would allow me to watch TV on the couch.

And Johnny, when Johnny Carson would come on.

And I remember that, like, that multicolored

curtain behind him when he was doing the.

And then when they go to commercial break, there's like this weird art that they show.

We're like, we'll be back for more after this break.

And it just was, I hadn't really thought about those, about watching Johnny Carson being sick until I was on my fucking deathbed with COVID.

You're watching it every night.

I was like, this might be my last Johnny Carson.

I'll see you soon, Johnny.

I'll be your next guest.

Don't you wish, though, that like,

is he the one guy, like, if you could go back and pick any show to be on, the IJ to get booked on?

Oh, no.

Wouldn't that be awesome?

No way.

No, I would take Letterman over Carson.

Okay.

Yeah.

Letterman guy.

Yeah.

I was a Letterman guy.

Magic Johnson, maybe?

No, probably not Magic Johnson.

Letterman didn't have a show.

Didn't he have a show

towards the very end when I...

Oh, but.

Or premiered.

Either way, I'm sure we would not be on his radar no matter what.

I didn't mean he's a legend.

Who do you think is more legendary, Carson or Letterman?

I know that's tough.

I think Carson probably gets it.

Carson gets it, but as time goes on, I think people will remember Letterman well.

Yeah, I think Letterman was actually better at it.

I agree.

You know, he was more,

he had better bits.

Carson's bits are fucked up.

They're so not funny.

They're just like, it's just like, nobody gives a fuck because I think they're on at one o'clock in the morning.

They had Bob Hope on the other night.

I was watching it and he took a pencil out of the out of the mug.

And all he was doing was clanging the pencil so like you could hear it.

Like it was it was like

drowning out everything that everybody's talking about because he's banging the pencil on the table.

And it wasn't a bit?

No, it wasn't a bit.

And they're just talking about like

things that nobody would care about.

There is definitely no

format.

They are just winging it at times.

I agree.

I've gone on YouTube and watched old cars and stuff, and I thought the same thing.

I was like, there seems to be no plan.

They're just

laughing at shit that you're like, what's funny about that?

I don't get it.

I don't know.

I like that better than what a lot of it is now.

Oh, right.

So

manufactured and shit.

Everything is so.

Yeah, it's like there aren't really no surprises anymore.

And it's all fucking,

they all sound the same.

It's all politics, it's all fun.

You're just like, God, you guys remember having fun?

Does anybody remember having fun?

You know, you're right, though, because these guys look like they're having fun, but

you also should try to make sure the viewers are having fun, too, because it's like they're talking about shit.

And

that really stunned me when I watched like two weeks of Johnny Carson because it was just like so inside baseball at times.

Well, they're probably also liquored up, and they're like, this is more fun than we realize.

And they're smoking on the set.

Oh, yeah.

It's awesome.

Oh, yeah.

It's just like last week's episode of Space Monkeys.

Oh, yeah.

You guys are smoking on the set.

We got a little, we got a, we smoked a little of the

jazz cabbage.

No.

And you thought that was.

Devil's Weed.

So how often have you performed

under that?

Never.

Had it go.

I don't know.

I don't think well.

I remember enjoying talking to Brian, but I was like, I remember even being at the end of it being like, I don't think we could do this again.

Like, we're really meandering and stuff like that.

This is from this week.

Spaced out space monkeys

from the Tell'em Steve Dave Town account.

Oh, all right, yeah.

On Instagram.

Space monkey with red eyes.

I'd never done anything like that before.

I had a blast.

I just, the entire time, I was like, I don't know.

And what kind of

effect does it have?

And does it make you like a giggler?

Does it make you angry?

Does it make you maxed and relaxed?

I think I just, my mind roams a little bit.

More like you would find your mind roaming more than it would normally do.

Well, I don't even remember what we spoke about.

That's one.

Two, but I remember I was thinking.

How powerful was this shit?

Was this like Ganji shit?

I mean,

it was like government shit.

It made you forget what you talked about?

I don't know.

Is it normal?

You would just forget?

Isn't that why people smoke it?

Yeah.

But I remember laughing pretty hard, too.

Yeah, from the feedback I saw online, people liked it.

They thought it was a good episode.

And what kind of

what does it do to you?

It depends on the strain.

Sometimes it'll make me really tired.

Other times it'll make me giggly and laugh and have a good time.

I've slowed down tremendously.

I don't vape anymore.

You can't vape, right?

It's just poison.

Yeah.

It's just bad.

It's real poison.

It's like all chemicals and shit in there that you just breathe in.

Yeah.

So I don't.

Yeah.

I laid off that.

Edibles now mostly.

If at all.

But edibles, like they take so long to take effect, like hours.

Oh, yeah.

Chiba.

Chiba.

My children in need.

I watched.

All right.

So I finally watched the show Succession.

Have you guys heard of this?

I've heard of it.

I haven't seen it.

It's a U of HBO.

It's.

I do.

It's fucking great.

It's a fucking great show.

And which is all everybody says about it.

So I don't know why I'm surprised.

But yeah, it is fucking great.

It's basically about, you know, Roger Ailes, the Fox, the guy that owns, or is it Murdoch?

Murdoch that owns Rupert Murdoch.

Rupert Murdoch.

It's a take on him and his family it's all like and it's all these fucking people who are vicious you would love it dude they are fucking vicious to each other it's on your show you're like and it's real fucked up and funny so i you know i i just got into

so good did you watch um

the hawkeye

i did the first two episodes i watched the first three episodes what do you think i'll tell you what it it is

obviously the lightest weight of the marvel shows absolutely also the one i'm enjoying the most because it

is following the comic.

Like, that's based on a run of comics.

The Mac Fraction one.

Yeah, and it's pretty, and I like that run, and it's pretty close to the run.

I could do it.

I mean, a little bit.

I mean, I think, I like it.

I do.

I like it.

It's real, like,

lightweight type stuff, but I love that they're following the comics.

Like, it's so nice to see somebody following the comics.

But that girl who becomes the new Hawkeye, though, that can't be her real origin, where because that was the movie 2012 Avengers, New York gets decimated.

Her father dies.

That wasn't in the book, though, right?

No.

So I wonder how did she

hook up.

Well, she was on the Young Avengers.

It was a whole thing.

Yeah, she was a character before she hooked up with Clint.

Do you think they're going to get into any kind of costumery?

With her?

Well, him and her in this show, or do you think they're just going to be wearing plain clothes?

I think you'll see.

I think you'll see them in costume with her.

In the purple costume?

Yeah, I think you'll see them.

I hope so.

Yeah.

Yeah.

I like her a lot.

I think she's really good.

Yeah, I thought she was fine.

Yeah.

Actually, I think the acting is, you know, it's definitely

above up to point.

You don't love it.

I could tell.

I don't love it, but I also don't display it.

I don't love it either.

I'm not like, this is the guy's thing.

Yeah, it's just,

when something follows the comics, I feel an affinity for it more than people that'll like it.

I mean, there's been rumors, and like I said, I've only been up to two episodes, but is Kingpin in it?

The third episode, you see a hand and you hear some guy laugh, and it does sound a lot like from the Netflix Daredevil.

Yeah, and that character is connected to Kingpin in that way that they presented it in the show.

So, I think everybody's thinking that it's going to come in.

I saw before I got sick, the last thing I did before I got sick, I took a home test and I tested negative.

So, I was like, I told Martha, let's go see Ghostbusters.

Oh, yeah, yeah.

What do you think?

Oh, no,

Mars took stage, and then she didn't want to go.

You like it,

it's everything, though, that

is it.

The kids, yeah, it's everything.

The kids were good.

It's everything, though, that just kind of like I've seen before, though.

Like, there was nothing I haven't seen before.

Well, it's the third sequel to a movie.

I mean, what did you think that they were going to do?

I mean, I just feel at a certain point, though, like you should try to just give us something we haven't seen before.

And I have seen kids

take equipment that they have no right

to be able to work within two seconds seconds and become the best Ghostbusters on the fucking planet.

Yeah, that just fucking just drives me nuts.

They weren't really.

They caught one ghost.

Yeah.

They had no training whatsoever.

No training whatsoever.

And you're shooting fucking things.

You're shooting.

It's a movie, dude.

I don't know if it's.

I mean, also, those packs in part two were supposed to be like 80 pounds, and that little girl's wearing it.

But I hear you.

I enjoyed it.

I thought it was fun.

And you enjoyed

how little the Ghostbusters were in it?

Yeah, I didn't mind it.

I didn't mind it.

I thought what they did was good, and they looked so old.

They did.

I was like.

I was so tired.

I mean, Ernie Hudson didn't.

Ernie Hudson looked pretty fucking good.

I mean, all those guys look great.

Like, you know.

Yeah.

I don't know.

I don't know if I want to see a movie of guys that old Ghostbusting.

I mean,

they just looked tired, but they didn't look terrible.

They didn't look like on Death's Door, but, you know, I mean, Bill Murray looked, I...

The phone call was so painful.

The phone call was probably my least favorite part of the movie where they wrap up everything and then like the call.

But

I still liked it.

Well, yeah, I mean, you have such a love affair for this movie.

I'm glad you liked it.

I didn't need to walk in and have it.

I feel you need to like it.

No, no, no.

To get rid of that bad taste.

No, no, not at all.

No?

Not at all.

Not at all.

Yeah,

when I heard it was like Stranger Things, Ghostbusters, I was like, all right.

I had to allow myself to get excited.

But I liked it.

I thought the kids were great.

I thought the part that I thought was going to annoy me the most, I ended up liking.

So maybe that was it.

I liked it.

I thought she did a great job.

The Egon's granddaughter.

The mother.

No, no, the granddaughter.

The little kid.

Oh, the nerd?

The nerd.

Yeah.

She played it Autistic.

I thought that was a cool choice.

Like, she played it.

Really?

I didn't think that.

Really?

I just thought she was just like a, like a total,

like, like somebody outside.

What's that called?

When you're like, you're so, not a nitwit, but like, um,

like, you're so far removed.

You're so much smarter.

You're so much more like you're such an outsider.

No, she even said at one point, because the other kid goes, why are you so calm?

And she's like, that's true.

Yeah.

She's like,

what do they call it?

When you're so

extra stimulation calms me.

She made several references to being kind of autistic.

And

I don't know.

I liked it.

I thought, like, if Egon had a granddaughter, that would be what the granddaughter came out like.

Yeah.

There were things I didn't love about it.

You know, they did that thing that I never love, but they do it in every movie where when you catch up with characters years later, they're all miserable and unhappy with each other.

I do not like when they do that.

Why can't anybody just be happy?

Like 30 years later.

Yeah.

But even that phone call when Ray was like, Egon Spengler could burn in hell, I didn't like that at first.

But then when he found out that Egon was dead, like he looked genuinely upset and sad.

I thought that they did what they could.

But that phone call was probably the

you hire these guys.

I thought they would get a little bit more screen time.

Yeah.

I really thought they would.

I was surprised at how little they were in the actual movie.

Yeah, they were in it for like 15 minutes at the end.

Are you looking?

But when they show up, I mean,

it's a great scene.

And I like that they, like, when Venkman starts going after Gozer, like they know each other.

I was like, oh, it's pretty funny.

Like, it gave me what I wanted.

I liked it.

What are you looking forward to?

More Matrix or Spider-Man?

Matrix looks really good.

Matrix looks awesome.

It looks really fucking good.

Matrix looks awesome.

And that trailer is one of the best trailers I've seen in years.

But I re-watched the Matrix trilogy this past couple weeks.

Trilogy?

Yeah, it's a trilogy.

What's the third one called?

It's either Revolutions.

What's the second one called then?

It's Matrix, Matrix Reloaded, Matrix Revolutions.

I I didn't know they did a third one.

Was it a cartoon?

No.

They did do cartoon spins.

It's a trilogy.

There's three movies.

I haven't ever seen it.

I've only seen the first one.

Well, you're probably going to want to get caught up because the ending of it,

they have to address in the new movie somehow.

But

the second one's okay.

The third one is so unwatchable.

It was terrible.

The third one, I'm like, what is going on?

I couldn't figure it out.

We were fucking watching it.

Stacy was over.

I turned to her.

I go, I go, what?

I go, why are we looking forward to a fourth movie?

I'm like, this one is so bad.

I'm like, what year was it released?

I don't know.

90-something.

Oh, really?

Before 2000?

It was, well, when did the first one come out?

I thought the first one was 98.

Oh,

it was soon after.

And they came out six months apart.

That first one's so fucking good.

First one's amazing.

Yeah.

Yeah.

And the trailer for this one looks great, but I cannot tell you how watching the third movie made me.

You can only see one.

Spidey or Matrix.

What are you going for?

spidey spidey because they're going to bring back especially if they bring back everybody they're going to this that we think they're going to bring out i want to see that yeah although i don't like the spidey the trailer for spider-man i thought it was kind of boring i agree with you yeah well it hasn't really

made me go well you know it looks better than the last like four movies or four projects that marvel has released

um

i'll give it that i'm looking forward to it more than any of the tv shows or eternals that's for sure or master of kung Fu.

What do they call that?

Oh, Shang-Chi.

Shang-Chi.

Which I can't help but notice you have a Shang-Chi stuffed animal.

That's good.

I'm fucking trying to be ironic.

Failing.

How do you feel about Matrix being directed by a woman?

I don't know if I like that.

I think it was always directed by a woman, Brian.

Wow.

That's a woke motherfucker right there.

You don't know what he's talking about, though.

Because the Wachowski brothers are both transgender now.

So they're both chicks.

Wachowski sisters.

Ask me again.

Ask me on what's going on.

I don't want to give that answer again.

Hopefully we'll pick that up.

Make sure I use that in the opening clip.

Make that in your Twitter bio.

They were always women.

Shut down Brian Johnson 12 from whatever the day is.

We got to get out of here, Q.

We got to go.

Yeah, we're going to see the comic stylings of Once Cell Volcano down in Atlantic City.

Oh, yeah.

Yeah.

Big show tonight.

That's cool.

Yeah.

You guys going to gamble or is it...

I believe I might do a little gambling.

I mean, the last time I was there, they cleaned my fucking clock.

So, really?

I lost like $1,200 last time I was down there.

The last two times I went down there, man, I fucking walked out.

You know,

people like just walking out like you're like, man, there goes a fucking player.

That's a whale.

Yeah, I haven't lost money yet in AC.

Hopefully, I'll be back next week with a tail, a good tail.

Lucky the Irish over here.

Well,

on that, I'll say, tell them, Steve, Dave, and good luck to you guys

at the tables.