#500: It’s The Big One

Transcript

Speaker 6 Hello and send 13%

Speaker 8 of every shape and size to the 5th hundredth episode of Tell'em Steve Dave

Speaker 8 with a little before heard version of the intro we all know and love

Speaker 4 the one

Speaker 13 the only

Speaker 14 Jay Sarge

Speaker 4 well ladies and gentlemen

Speaker 15 for your enjoyment.

Speaker 17 I feel like you're not setting it up properly.

Speaker 18 Never discount the sausage.

Speaker 20 Oh, I'm very excited about this.

Speaker 22 Weren't you raised in a home with Rudolph?

Speaker 23 No.

Speaker 23 Yes, you were.

Speaker 3 Come on, fucking.

Speaker 4 You fucking liar.

Speaker 6 No, MingLazPoop.com, right?

Speaker 19 No, that's not his fucking email, Mr.

Speaker 26 Tweet Machine.

Speaker 30 You're a little older, a little wiser, a little less fucking willing to have shit in my mouth.

Speaker 6 I have a friend who is pretty lonely.

Speaker 32 There's no crime in having long hair.

Speaker 6 It's only one of those things I've ever had in my mouth, Ming. And swallowed.

Speaker 17 Any successful relationship is based on a healthy foundation of law.

Speaker 25 I like how five people are like, nah, I don't think so. Walt.

Speaker 15 He's like, you're all fucking idiots.

Speaker 8 I didn't even want you.

Speaker 34 I fucked your mother.

Speaker 17 She wouldn't get an abortion.

Speaker 4 And now here we are. Hey, let's go.

Speaker 6 Not too good, bitch.

Speaker 36 I'm in pain, don't you know?

Speaker 15 How am I

Speaker 14 fucked?

Speaker 38 I'm gonna fucking throw up.

Speaker 25 I'm gonna fucking throw up.

Speaker 6 There's a connection there between me and Gedham that you guys that I don't think have or see.

Speaker 1 Or Juan.

Speaker 6 caveat emptor, bitch.

Speaker 6 I hope his kidneys fail.

Speaker 15 I hope he dies.

Speaker 39 I think you're all one hypnotism away from one of the fucking

Speaker 6 this is gonna be fucking awesome.

Speaker 6 I can't believe that.

Speaker 6 I don't remember that.

Speaker 6 Walt Flanagan, what are you doing? Jerking off to Cornelius in the bathroom?

Speaker 6 Fucking no cameras while we're drinking baby blood.

Speaker 43 You gonna come here and give me a hand job?

Speaker 44 I gotta do that too.

Speaker 45 Oh, this is an overkill episode.

Speaker 46 Yeah.

Speaker 6 I'll ride you.

Speaker 2 I'll ride you? I'll ride you, Overkill.

Speaker 47 Yeah, I'll ride you.

Speaker 49 Isolate that stuff.

Speaker 23 Watch that.

Speaker 25 Fucking if this isn't enough for you, then I don't know what the fuck to say.

Speaker 6 Tell him, Steve, Dave.

Speaker 25 Hello, and welcome to tell him steve dave you know episode 500 no biggie

Speaker 25 what's the big deal q i mean if walt's not doing shots on it i'd say no no big deal at all that's true 4.99 he does a shot 500 i don't think we can look forward to that again we didn't even bring the booze i'm gonna do an eight ball

Speaker 56 nice

Speaker 60 i like that i like to see that i like the increasing stakes yeah

Speaker 25 so we're here with bq

Speaker 62 hello with walt

Speaker 45 Hello.

Speaker 25 With special guests

Speaker 25 from Monster Magnet Dave Windorf.

Speaker 63 I love Marvel.

Speaker 1 Ah,

Speaker 64 come on, man.

Speaker 25 And from stage and screen, Sal Volcano.

Speaker 47 Oh, yeah.

Speaker 14 My favorite to be here. He's my favorite always.

Speaker 25 And you guys are fan favorites. People love you guys.

Speaker 17 Yeah, Dave's my favorite guest on the show. I've said that many times.

Speaker 19 Sorry, Salt.

Speaker 14 How many podcasts have reached the 500 number? Do we know that?

Speaker 70 I think you're in a small class, really. Got to be, right?

Speaker 71 I don't think we know.

Speaker 25 It's like us and Joe Rogan. That's probably it.

Speaker 62 Right? Well, he does it every day.

Speaker 25 Yeah, I think he's up to like 1500 or so.

Speaker 72 Yeah, I think so. But no, really, I'm like, how many other people are at 500?

Speaker 73 Yeah, I mean, there's a graveyard podcast.

Speaker 75 Just a small, small little handful, probably.

Speaker 14 I mean, I'm completely speculating, but I have to imagine.

Speaker 70 Yeah.

Speaker 6 This is rare air.

Speaker 28 I mean, because we really

Speaker 16 rare it.

Speaker 25 We don't miss that many episodes per year. So if we've been doing it for 11 years now.

Speaker 76 Yeah.

Speaker 17 It seems like we miss a bunch a year then, no?

Speaker 77 Maybe, maybe 10.

Speaker 78 Yeah.

Speaker 45 10 a year. All right.

Speaker 62 Something like that.

Speaker 14 You and I did one. We got to about 70.

Speaker 46 Yeah, we did.

Speaker 55 I was kind of annoyed.

Speaker 25 I got to tell you that you guys only got to 70 because I don't listen to many podcasts. That was one that I listened to regularly.

Speaker 80 Yeah,

Speaker 80 we're circling it, right?

Speaker 82 Like we're circling it. We're thinking about bringing it back, yeah.

Speaker 14 Yeah. It's just a matter of schedule and time right now, but we both want to.

Speaker 60 Yeah.

Speaker 14 So suck on that, everybody.

Speaker 37 Yeah.

Speaker 72 There's a little tidbit for you.

Speaker 17 I have.

Speaker 17 When is the Black Friday thing is next week, right?

Speaker 38 No, it's still.

Speaker 6 Yeah, it is. I don't know when Thanksgiving is.
It's a day of the day.

Speaker 34 I think you call it the Black Friday.

Speaker 52 The Black Friday.

Speaker 85 Yeah, that's what I'm saying. That's what it's called now.

Speaker 62 It's not called Black Friday.

Speaker 86 Well, it sounds way better as the Black Friday.

Speaker 17 It sounds very dangerous. I like it.
But I had an idea. I know we want to jump on the 500 episodes, but I don't know if we have another episode before it.
But I found the smoke machine in my house.

Speaker 25 November 26th.

Speaker 6 A fog machine. A fog machine.

Speaker 17 So I was thinking what I wanted to do is, like, because I'm going to come here one of the days, right? Do it.

Speaker 17 I think I want to smoke out one of the rooms and randomly invite people into a dark chamber of horrors.

Speaker 88 I don't know what's going to happen in that.

Speaker 89 It sounds like a lawsuit.

Speaker 2 Yeah.

Speaker 52 Dark chamber of litigation.

Speaker 81 Yeah. Yeah.

Speaker 17 Like, just like the door opens and like the smoke comes billowing out, and we're like, welcome. And then they come in and then they get like a pin or something.

Speaker 91 Okay. Yeah.
All right.

Speaker 57 But only like five people.

Speaker 6 I don't know if we have,

Speaker 6 you know, I don't know what that'll set off any of the smoke alarms in the building.

Speaker 92 Oh, yeah. Use fog machine because we have, we set it up.

Speaker 84 You always shoot down my ideas.

Speaker 58 No, no.

Speaker 90 What can we do without the fog machine?

Speaker 93 I could shoot it down too.

Speaker 23 You know, we use a horrible, grimy film on stuff. So we'll do the Waltz Prize stuff.

Speaker 52 Cut that shit out.

Speaker 53 I was so excited.

Speaker 14 You know why I love this podcast? Because, and why it's my favorite, is because every time you,

Speaker 14 the thing that you guys have here is like this intangible where, at least when I come or when I listen, it always feels like as as pure as like when I used to hang out with my friends when I was younger I don't know you just know how to have fun you know I mean

Speaker 14 we're fun guys there's always something going on it's always like I don't know you're always putting so much effort into it it really is like as opposed to just like you listen some people just talk you guys are always cooking up something it's like and it's it's like it's almost like playing for adults which I don't really play anymore and when I come here you guys are always playing around there's always something

Speaker 14 this episode you know what I mean and I just like I don't I don't do that anymore It's so refreshing.

Speaker 6 But it's like, I guess you see, from somebody looking from the outside, looking in, you know, it's that duck.

Speaker 6 You know, everything is smooth on the, everything's fun up on top, but underneath, you see that duck? His legs are moving so fast they're all about to break off from the

Speaker 37 hell are you talking about?

Speaker 19 It's not all fun and games.

Speaker 58 When you see that duck is Walt.

Speaker 25 Walt's got legs like Arnold.

Speaker 59 Cues the beak, cries the neck, and Walt the feet.

Speaker 23 To laugh,

Speaker 23 but not to cry. Because underneath it, it's all tears.

Speaker 60 That's it.

Speaker 25 Before we get too deep into it, I had a quick question. Dave, you probably don't know this.

Speaker 25 I got married about a year ago.

Speaker 45 Congratulations. Thank you.

Speaker 23 Still married.

Speaker 92 Still married. I thought he was going to be a lifelong bachelor.

Speaker 83 I would have bet everything.

Speaker 6 I would have went all in. I would have pushed all in all my chips on lifelong bachelor.

Speaker 23 When you start to reach an age where there's

Speaker 34 less options,

Speaker 68 you're like, who's going to take care of me?

Speaker 106 That's one way to put it.

Speaker 23 Yeah, but you know, you start, you know, you start to settle down.

Speaker 25 Here's my question. Slow down.

Speaker 60 Slow down. Slow down.

Speaker 107 Yeah.

Speaker 25 Here's my question. If you have a wife who suddenly, slowly starts changing the brands that you grew up with and have loved and have used your whole life.
You used to use Tide.

Speaker 66 Suddenly it's all.

Speaker 25 You used to have Campbell's soup. Suddenly it's Aldi brand.

Speaker 66 What do you do about this? We were just talking about Aldi, too.

Speaker 23 We were just talking about Aldi.

Speaker 23 I guess you got to pick your faves and stick to it because, I mean, it's a compromise. Marriage is a compromise.
So it's like, can we please have Tide?

Speaker 23 You can have your Aldi this, but I can't live without my Tide.

Speaker 6 Well, the dish detergent is hard to do because I mean, she's got to do two loads of wash for him.

Speaker 61 It's not the only load of dynamic drinks.

Speaker 6 The soup is easy because you can just, you know, soup you can just put it can.

Speaker 11 There you go.

Speaker 6 But yeah, like you give her, you got to take the detergent on the chin,

Speaker 6 and at least ask nicely for soup.

Speaker 23 And, you know, brands are one thing.

Speaker 107 Master of the house every year.

Speaker 111 Honey, I was wondering if you think it's okay.

Speaker 58 Maybe

Speaker 25 we don't get soup from LD anymore.

Speaker 23 But yeah, when you see the brands disappear, I mean, you definitely, I mean,

Speaker 62 that's your whole life.

Speaker 25 I went to get a small bowl of cereal last night. I'm like, I'm a little peckish.
I'll get some cereal. I'll get some life cereal because that's what I like.
I go in, and it's,

Speaker 25 I'm going to show you a picture, Dave. This is how she tries to trick me.

Speaker 23 Why is she doing this to you?

Speaker 58 I don't know.

Speaker 23 She doesn't know, right? She doesn't know that you're having culture shock.

Speaker 112 Oh, no, she knows.

Speaker 25 She knows what she's doing.

Speaker 105 But this is

Speaker 25 there's life and there's the brand.

Speaker 25 What's that called again?

Speaker 23 What is it called? Original balance?

Speaker 96 Original balance.

Speaker 73 That is unacceptable.

Speaker 25 Cereal is one you shouldn't.

Speaker 113 You shouldn't have

Speaker 113 told me that.

Speaker 14 When it comes to taking detergent on the chin, which, by the way, has that sentence ever been said?

Speaker 52 But you really wouldn't compromise it.

Speaker 14 For the detergent, is it a sense thing or is it how good it works?

Speaker 25 Detergent, she says it's because her skin's too sensitive.

Speaker 115 Well,

Speaker 86 is this a knockoff version of life?

Speaker 25 It looks almost just like it, right? Yeah.

Speaker 84 Are her feelings too sensitive?

Speaker 14 I mean, if not, fuck that.

Speaker 25 I want to see if her pain receptors are too sensitive.

Speaker 68 Oh, that's right. That's right.

Speaker 23 I feel for you because I don't know where that ends.

Speaker 118 Right?

Speaker 25 If I let it go too long, suddenly

Speaker 60 I'm no car.

Speaker 23 You're going to be riding a horse.

Speaker 47 Yeah. You know, I don't know.

Speaker 28 I think it's better.

Speaker 84 What would you do, Walt? You would think she would never pull that on you.

Speaker 6 Well, she did pull the detergent on me early on.

Speaker 6 Been married since 1994, and she learned a hard way. You can't switch detergents on me because we were in an emergency room with third-degree detergent burns

Speaker 6 that I got.

Speaker 6 And, you know, so

Speaker 58 she literally learned sensitive skin.

Speaker 75 You're a sensitive.

Speaker 120 She's sensitive skin to me.

Speaker 122 Although they're actually Irish.

Speaker 62 So sensitive.

Speaker 6 Yeah, I had like massive, like, weird detergent burns all over my body. And I told you.

Speaker 90 I have not heard of this before tonight.

Speaker 52 I heard of it twice in one minute.

Speaker 14 I don't know if people get burned by the detergent.

Speaker 16 Well, yeah, I don't think I've done it.

Speaker 6 Remember, you had to take me to an emergency room. We were in Minnesota when, because the motel we were staying at,

Speaker 6 I got detergent burns.

Speaker 6 Whatever they used to do. That's why I told my wife.

Speaker 6 It wasn't bad burns from Brian.

Speaker 61 Tossing around.

Speaker 25 Yeah, so you're saying put my foot down before it gets too deep.

Speaker 102 Well, it gets too deep.

Speaker 23 Say I'm to make it a fight, but just I mean, just plead with her. Say, look, you know, they're.

Speaker 19 No, I'm begging her.

Speaker 19 I think you should beg.

Speaker 14 Walt is your wife in this instance.

Speaker 14 And he had to go back because of his sensitive skin. So if anyone can relate to Maribeth, it's right.

Speaker 6 Yeah, I mean, like I said,

Speaker 6 you got to concede on the detergent because of her skin.

Speaker 23 It's all a compromise.

Speaker 6 Do you want to look at third-degree burns on your woman? Well, you know,

Speaker 6 just so you can.

Speaker 96 Tell them the third-degree burns.

Speaker 124 Tell her that story.

Speaker 23 Make up something like that.

Speaker 62 I don't see tied.

Speaker 25 I'll eat some of that balanced cereal, and then I'll guzzle some syrup of Ipeck and throw up all over the house. I'll be like, see what you did now?

Speaker 111 See what you fucking did?

Speaker 81 Or

Speaker 6 bring your laundry to your mom's and have your mom do your laundry.

Speaker 51 Yeah. Hey, 80-year-old woman.

Speaker 23 Is there any way you can eat something and then temporarily stop your heart? Because that'll scare the shit out of me.

Speaker 62 You did this.

Speaker 28 You killed me.

Speaker 55 You can do your own laundry.

Speaker 32 Come on.

Speaker 45 We're looking for realistic solutions here.

Speaker 17 Well, what do you think is more unacceptable, begging your wife for something or to just man up and do the laundry on your own?

Speaker 70 Well, I'll tell you what, I don't really care about it.

Speaker 52 Beg her.

Speaker 19 Well, there you go.

Speaker 126 That's the word.

Speaker 23 You're not going to win. If you put your foot down, you're not going to win.

Speaker 23 Start begging now.

Speaker 25 I had to lay into her about the superstar.

Speaker 14 The detergent, I can see, but why would she just not get the box of cereal that you like?

Speaker 25 Well, she goes, she gets for she goes to Instacart, so she like buys everything.

Speaker 70 Well, what's available?

Speaker 25 She's like, Well, I didn't go to shop right that day. I just went to LD, so I got you this.
It's the same thing. I'm like, It's not the fucking same thing.

Speaker 25 And she even admits it's not the same thing because she tried some today.

Speaker 43 She goes, Oh, that's that's that's too hardy.

Speaker 33 She goes,

Speaker 23 Give her their life, hey, give her the life's too short story. What I do, life is too short.

Speaker 23 Life is just too short.

Speaker 62 She's mags if I'm going to go.

Speaker 101 She goes

Speaker 23 for like a diet ice cream and bad coffee.

Speaker 17 The problem is bad food. She's 26.
She has no concept of that.

Speaker 6 She's going to live forever.

Speaker 125 Remember that age?

Speaker 25 She's looking well past my desk.

Speaker 23 You're sunk.

Speaker 19 She'll pour Aldis on your grave.

Speaker 87 You'll rest in a bath of detergents that you don't like.

Speaker 20 And sprinkle it over, like sprinkle it with your ashes.

Speaker 33 Yeah, she'll put a big Aldi coffee can probably just like

Speaker 23 you're destined to a life of like cheap brands and Aldi whatever's.

Speaker 118 She's like, I grew up on Aldi.

Speaker 23 I'm like, you had money.

Speaker 59 Even my money. Is she German?

Speaker 25 No.

Speaker 127 Yeah, she is, as a matter of fact.

Speaker 33 Okay, yeah.

Speaker 25 Is that a German corporation? Oh, I should have known.

Speaker 60 She's supporting the Reich.

Speaker 118 So anyway, Walt. Yes.

Speaker 66 We have a lot of stuff planned today.

Speaker 32 Yeah.

Speaker 55 Wait, you know what we're going to do, though, real quick?

Speaker 85 Yeah.

Speaker 60 I got to thank everybody for listening.

Speaker 25 Oh, fuck. Yeah.
If it weren't for the people listening right now, and then, you know,

Speaker 62 throughout the years,

Speaker 62 we wouldn't get cereal.

Speaker 25 Yeah, I'd be home eating fucking shitty cereal and I got getting detergent burns all over me.

Speaker 25 Truly thank you everyone for listening and hanging in there over the years. Like I really enjoy when I see somebody's like, I'm a day one listener.
And they're still here.

Speaker 25 And they're still here this many years later. It means we're doing something right, at least for them.

Speaker 6 Yeah, yeah. I mean, who knows if we'll ever get to 600, so let's make 500, you know.
100?

Speaker 52 I thought we'd say 1,000.

Speaker 6 Oh, I mean, 600 is still two years away. You don't ever know what's going to happen.

Speaker 14 You know, who knows if you get to 501, if I'm being honest.

Speaker 128 Yeah, you're right.

Speaker 2 I mean, yeah, I guess you all got five.

Speaker 87 We're going to hit my truck at the exact same time.

Speaker 55 James confident we're going to get to 501.

Speaker 6 But yeah, so I thought we would bring back some of the listeners' favorites called from over the last 500 episodes, some things we haven't done in years.

Speaker 6 Bring it back for this episode.

Speaker 6 But we play for two longtime listeners, you know, Team Brian Q

Speaker 6 and Team Sal and Dave.

Speaker 6 You're playing for representing a listener tonight. And if you and Sal win at the end of the episode, that listener is going to get a whole bunch of prizes.

Speaker 23 It's all about confrontation, isn't it?

Speaker 60 Yeah.

Speaker 19 That's Hollywood.

Speaker 128 That's a motivated man.

Speaker 33 People love it.

Speaker 6 And

Speaker 6 throughout the night, though, special guests are going to pop in. Oh, yeah.
Stay at the table. You see what I'm saying?

Speaker 104 That's what I'm saying.

Speaker 6 Listening favorites are going to pop in and out.

Speaker 6 Once they pop in, they don't leave until the end of the episode. So it's going to try to make it feel.

Speaker 11 Even if we want them to leave?

Speaker 6 Even if we want them to leave, Dave.

Speaker 92 I told them they could stay.

Speaker 130 All right.

Speaker 6 So should we announce who Brian and Q are going to be playing for?

Speaker 32 Sure.

Speaker 6 Sherry Larkin.

Speaker 51 All right, Sherry.

Speaker 43 Sherry, we got you. And

Speaker 6 Sal and Dave are playing for the curator.

Speaker 85 The curator.

Speaker 46 Ooh, the curator.

Speaker 9 Mysterious.

Speaker 51 I don't know what his real name is.

Speaker 25 He knows this shit inside and out.

Speaker 61 He's a TSD

Speaker 61 historian.

Speaker 14 Yeah. Like, okay, so then he's.
Oh, God. So we have more to uphold for him then.
He represents

Speaker 31 excellence in

Speaker 105 education.

Speaker 105 Does he mention what he curates?

Speaker 6 He curates, tell him Steve Dave stuff. He's like

Speaker 79 Jones

Speaker 23 He's got a monstromatic guy like that.

Speaker 85 Yeah.

Speaker 17 But I'm going to crush this guy.

Speaker 123 Which guy? The curator. The curator.

Speaker 101 We'll try and slow you down.

Speaker 6 So, you're ready?

Speaker 6 For the very first thing that we're going to do, we're going to bring back something that we haven't done in a long time and something very special because, Dave, you were on the very first

Speaker 6 episode that we did this segment. As I look back now, this is why I really, really was hoping you could come tonight.

Speaker 23 I have fond memories.

Speaker 6 The very first episode you were on, I believe we did something called One True Three.

Speaker 107 Oh, no. Oh, no.

Speaker 25 Was this on Here Come the Fire Pigs?

Speaker 6 I don't remember which episode it was, but on the episode, I revealed that I wanted to be a tap dancer when I was growing up.

Speaker 1 Yeah, what come up?

Speaker 94 Yeah,

Speaker 106 that's the truth.

Speaker 58 You never disappoint. You never disappoint, mom.

Speaker 18 There's no angle in which I can ever perceive it.

Speaker 6 I can remember, like, if if there was a, if there was like a, like a piece of wood that fell off a house or

Speaker 132 a shiny

Speaker 6 I would run up to it and I would just like try to tap with my sneakers on.

Speaker 46 Just a house dilapidated, burning.

Speaker 23 He taps on it.

Speaker 6 Anything that sounded like a clicking noise with my shoes, I would try to tap dance, even though I had no training.

Speaker 23 Tap dance is coming back, so don't you know what?

Speaker 62 Yeah, it is.

Speaker 115 I mean,

Speaker 85 throwing this shit out there.

Speaker 6 At this point in my life, I think I'm past the age where I could ever become a professional.

Speaker 23 Never say say never walt.

Speaker 14 I'm going to get you a tap is life t-shirt.

Speaker 6 Yeah, it was all about the sound, though, for me. It wasn't about like dancing or anything.
It was that noise kind of

Speaker 6 just kind of like resonated with me.

Speaker 25 I can't tell you how many times we saw White Knights as a kid.

Speaker 61 Over and over.

Speaker 23 Sammy Davids Jr.

Speaker 6 But for time's sake, we're going to do a what's on the menu slash one true three. Okay.

Speaker 6 Now, what's on the menu for Sal and Dave is where I reveal there's a only one food of the three foods I present I've actually eaten. And you guys get one question each to figure out what the food is.

Speaker 6 Okay.

Speaker 6 I know it sounds completely like awesome.

Speaker 101 I told you.

Speaker 52 But for

Speaker 55 no judgment.

Speaker 23 Okay, so tell me one more time so I can understand.

Speaker 6 Since Bry knows me since fifth grade, I can't do what's on the menu with Bry and Sal. They're going to do the one, true, three with the stories.

Speaker 6 You guys are going to get the what's on the menu, and we're going to do it right now.

Speaker 135 Okay.

Speaker 6 Okay, so I'm going to give you three foods, and you guys, as a team, can ask three questions, and then you have to give me an answer, which is the food that was on my menu.

Speaker 14 Okay.

Speaker 6 And the beauty of it is, because you'll figure it out as soon as I say what's on the menu is. Number one, and it's for Thanksgiving, cranberry sauce.

Speaker 45 Okay.

Speaker 6 Number two, apple pie.

Speaker 6 Or three, creamed corn.

Speaker 86 You've eaten one one of those.

Speaker 6 I've only eaten one of those. Two of those you have.

Speaker 93 I have never three questions.

Speaker 23 You have never tried the other two.

Speaker 6 I have never tried two of these.

Speaker 105 You're too busy tap dancing, that's why.

Speaker 6 But I figured, you know, I think, I thought it would fry your mind a little more to hear that possibly I've never had cranberry sauce or apple pie, you know.

Speaker 23 It would fry my mind. Or creamed corn.

Speaker 60 I'm yeah,

Speaker 90 all three are pretty, you know,

Speaker 86 pretty unbelievable. Yeah.

Speaker 14 I think I got, I think this isn't to you. This is us discussing.

Speaker 14 I think the first question should be, have you tried cranberry sauce? What do you think?

Speaker 108 Yeah.

Speaker 106 Then the next, have you tried cream corn?

Speaker 65 And then we'll top it off with have you tried.

Speaker 58 All right, Waltz.

Speaker 58 Have you ever tried cranberry sauce?

Speaker 19 Bill Belishak level of coaching right there.

Speaker 131 I never anticipated something else.

Speaker 23 We got your back, the curator.

Speaker 6 That would take so much fun out of the game.

Speaker 89 No, no, no, no.

Speaker 14 I would assume that that's logical that we cannot ask.

Speaker 85 Okay.

Speaker 113 I won't do that to you. All right.

Speaker 20 But hey, it was fun while it wasn't in there.

Speaker 62 Okay.

Speaker 14 But can I just ask, then, what line of questioning

Speaker 14 can we ask if it is not directly related to the food?

Speaker 6 Yeah, I'm not sure.

Speaker 125 Okay.

Speaker 21 What the hell is?

Speaker 94 What the hell is it?

Speaker 6 This is a great game. People love this game.
You guys are ruining it with like picking it apart.

Speaker 127 And I just split it in truth.

Speaker 58 Cranberry sauce, cream corn, and apple pie.

Speaker 92 Apple pie.

Speaker 23 So basically, we're trying to get down to the one that you left off the menu.

Speaker 6 The one I actually have eaten.

Speaker 23 Oh, just the one.

Speaker 19 I've only eaten one of those three.

Speaker 23 And I can't just guess. Sure.

Speaker 51 For time restraints.

Speaker 124 I would like to move this thing around.

Speaker 22 Yeah.

Speaker 128 Well, I'm just, because

Speaker 14 every question that comes up in my head is kind of pointed toward asking you, like, I could say, do you like pie? Or have you ever tried, you know? You could be like,

Speaker 6 Have you eaten any other pies in your life? That would be a good question.

Speaker 55 Okay, yes, it would help us out the hair pie, and we'll all laugh.

Speaker 58 Oh, it's a good one.

Speaker 14 I'm trying to indirectly find something different.

Speaker 46 Hair pie.

Speaker 58 Come on.

Speaker 47 Come on, everybody.

Speaker 6 He's working on a new song and sound like there.

Speaker 55 Yeah, pie pie. Come on.

Speaker 65 What if we ask him, like, do you enjoy?

Speaker 17 I get a hair party today. I send it back to the kitchen.
And I say, you shaved that apple.

Speaker 138 You're just existential.

Speaker 23 Get it back here.

Speaker 23 What kind of man wouldn't eat apple pie? What kind of man or human wouldn't even try a super smeller?

Speaker 85 Are you aware of this?

Speaker 6 Yeah, I don't know if you knew this. I was diagnosed as a super smeller since the last time you were on the episode.

Speaker 47 Explain.

Speaker 6 Super smeller is somebody who's highly.

Speaker 18 Like Daredevil with the hearing, but with the nose.

Speaker 55 But it's not.

Speaker 23 so you can smell the cigarettes on me and all that stuff as soon as you walk.

Speaker 19 You're in the parking lot.

Speaker 106 Have I bathed today?

Speaker 23 Have I bathed today?

Speaker 6 Oh, Sal, it's self-diagnosed.

Speaker 121 She has not been diagnosed.

Speaker 58 Yes, he has been diagnosed.

Speaker 68 He was the doctor.

Speaker 124 Diagnosed by Dr.

Speaker 96 Walt Flanagan.

Speaker 6 I did think it could be some spectrum-level stuff going on with me. Okay.
And this, but I knew it.

Speaker 23 Yeah. You're a fucking superhero, dude.

Speaker 62 Oh, okay. I knew it.

Speaker 127 You're on the spectrum.

Speaker 68 You're more autistic. Yeah.

Speaker 129 I feel like I am.

Speaker 116 For real. Super smeller? No, on the spectrum.
Oh.

Speaker 135 It's hard because I have all these things straight all of a sudden.

Speaker 23 He's a super smeller. It's like, what are you going?

Speaker 6 But that would be a super smeller. It's like, it's not a gift because

Speaker 6 you could smell something and it will overpower you. It'll make you feel nauseous.
And other people are like, I don't smell anything.

Speaker 62 That's your problem.

Speaker 128 Yeah, yeah.

Speaker 14 I've been complaining about this for two days, including the car ride over here.

Speaker 128 Couldn't enjoy, I couldn't enjoy Ghostbusters.

Speaker 14 I couldn't enjoy Ghostbusters last night because a lady sitting next to me was wearing wearing too strong a perfume. Yeah.

Speaker 14 And now today I put dry shampoo on my hair and I can't stand the, and I was getting sick in the car. Yeah.

Speaker 47 Wait, what's dry shampoo?

Speaker 14 It's like a powdery rubber.

Speaker 115 Yeah.

Speaker 70 Like a little spray.

Speaker 14 Just gives you like a little body and bounce for the day.

Speaker 62 Yeah. Gotcha.

Speaker 139 What are we saying?

Speaker 140 What if we ask a roundabout question?

Speaker 96 A roundabout question like, hey, well, what's your favorite?

Speaker 14 What's your favorite part of a Thanksgiving meal?

Speaker 133 Okay. You know, mashed potatoes.

Speaker 85 How'd that help? Okay.

Speaker 141 So like sides,

Speaker 84 sides?

Speaker 23 The main, the dessert?

Speaker 135 The dessert.

Speaker 6 I don't eat many desserts. I guess my mother-in-law always gives me a little bag of chocolate turkeys.

Speaker 6 That's like in the shape of a turkey. Okay.
Not chocolate-covered turkey.

Speaker 60 Okay, okay.

Speaker 25 This is what she gives her son-in-law.

Speaker 23 Can they smell them through the tin foil?

Speaker 6 She puts them in a little net.

Speaker 55 Oh, right.

Speaker 23 Very nice touch.

Speaker 6 I'm her son-in-law. I'm her favorite son-in-law.

Speaker 14 That sounds delicious. I'm having trouble because I don't know how to ask a question that wouldn't directly answer the fact that you wouldn't have one of them.

Speaker 23 I think the trouble is that the question shouldn't even be asked.

Speaker 136 We should be on.

Speaker 106 We should just move on. All right, yeah.

Speaker 143 So, you guys take it to the baseball.

Speaker 14 I think they should debate it based on our knowledge of you.

Speaker 6 What do you think it is, Dave?

Speaker 6 And then what about the final answer?

Speaker 23 I was going to say cream corn, but now that you've mentioned a couple of things, my guess is you've never tried cranberry sauce.

Speaker 6 No, it's the one I have tried. The one you have tried yeah the one i have tried

Speaker 6 what's on the menu that's why it's

Speaker 55 free title right right right that's what's on the menu you love it i'll say you love this game i'll say i love it it's it makes sense you love the title you love it advances the world and it's 100 accurate i would never lie oh

Speaker 6 no doubt what do you think it is cranberry sauce apple pie or cream corn which one i have i eaten

Speaker 23 two of which i have never eaten i'm gonna say cream corn you ate okay sal would you agree with him okay i'll tell you what's going on in in my head.

Speaker 14 Okay, uh, cranberry and apple are both based in the fruit world.

Speaker 14 Cranberry's acidic, you know, I don't know. Uh, so if maybe if you don't like one, you don't like the other, and maybe the only one you have tried is the cream corn.
That being said,

Speaker 14 you just said you generally don't like desserts,

Speaker 128 and that's what I was thinking, you know.

Speaker 14 So, but as a kid, I don't know that cranberry sauce seems

Speaker 14 like it could be appealing, it's a gelatinous red, you know, sweets thing. And I figured as a kid, corn is the only vegetable in there.

Speaker 14 And if you're a picky eater and you're growing up, maybe you never bothered with it. And then you're past that now.
So it brings me back to square one.

Speaker 14 I'm going to say either. I was actually thinking apple or cream corn.
And I think I'm going to go with apple pie because I think that's... the most insane of the three.
I think it packs a punch.

Speaker 14 And I think that that's what you would include because that's really like, wow, you haven't an apple.

Speaker 6 Wait a minute. Okay, I think you're confusing.
What's on the menu means I've only eaten one of these.

Speaker 14 Okay, so you, okay, so you've only

Speaker 14 eaten apple pie in my mind. Yes.

Speaker 6 And I haven't eaten cranberry sauce or I haven't eaten cream corn.

Speaker 34 But don't we have to agree?

Speaker 6 Yeah, so you guys got to.

Speaker 14 Okay, so you said cranberry sauce?

Speaker 6 I say cream corn. He says cream corn.

Speaker 23 Cream corn is the thing that he ate.

Speaker 47 Mm-hmm.

Speaker 14 It's the thing you ate.

Speaker 6 Yes.

Speaker 83 But what's on the menu?

Speaker 135 I'll agree.

Speaker 14 The other two are fruit. And.

Speaker 6 Oh, man. I don't know.

Speaker 60 I think the only thing he ate is cranberry.

Speaker 14 What are we going to do?

Speaker 96 We don't know.

Speaker 19 All right, well, it's all.

Speaker 65 In the essence of time, as you say, I'll go with what Dave says.

Speaker 86 You go with Dave?

Speaker 14 Dave is very persuasive.

Speaker 92 As my friend since 1980,

Speaker 28 80?

Speaker 45 80 or 30.

Speaker 84 78.

Speaker 6 He says cranberry pie. What do you think it was, Brian? This is why you're not allowed to play the game.
Right, what do I think of it?

Speaker 55 You're the goat.

Speaker 6 What's on the menu?

Speaker 25 I think that you have tried

Speaker 145 apple pie.

Speaker 6 Oh, you were going to say apple pie was on the menu.

Speaker 33 Yeah, I was going to say it was on the menu.

Speaker 6 The curator's got one point because what's on the menu was cream corn.

Speaker 1 He ate that shit.

Speaker 33 No.

Speaker 133 He's afraid.

Speaker 81 That's really.

Speaker 47 I mean,

Speaker 58 nobody likes cream corn except for it.

Speaker 84 Wait, you said you tried it. You didn't say you liked it.

Speaker 6 Yeah, I've eaten cream corn many times as a kid, but I haven't eaten it in decades.

Speaker 25 Really, that seems to be like the kind of thing that you wouldn't eat. It's the consistency.

Speaker 128 You got to look at the API corn.

Speaker 55 The other stuff is a lot of fun.

Speaker 17 He's never had cranberry sauce or sweets and all that stuff.

Speaker 23 It was just too much.

Speaker 62 Cream corn was a neutral thing. What did he have? He tried it.

Speaker 128 Are you confused, Sal?

Speaker 17 Get used to it.

Speaker 111 but i just thought like i never had apple pie before never tried it you still haven't would you consider him a commie what the fuck is wrong so you haven't had apple pie right right i was thinking of this delicious

Speaker 6 they stumbled into the right answer i didn't think you would have had the apple pie never had apple pie stuff a cranberry and cream corn never had cranberry sauce okay just the smell of it alone just like i just didn't like i didn't like the look of apple pie either and uh sal mentioned the word gelatinous which is always yeah scary yeah it's not it doesn't have to be gelatinous all right so you guys get get a point.

Speaker 6 I need a pen, Bry.

Speaker 6 So Sal and Dave get a point.

Speaker 47 Wow. Curator.

Speaker 6 All right. So Brian Q, you get the one, true, three.
I'm going to try to move this along a little bit quicker than what's on the menu.

Speaker 55 That one went longer than I could.

Speaker 21 Well, there you go.

Speaker 17 You know, we're pros at this.

Speaker 85 Yes.

Speaker 140 These guys, it would have gone fast if you just let me ask you, have you had everyone?

Speaker 124 Give me 15 minutes and I'll give you an answer.

Speaker 6 And you guys, and you guys are more than welcome to

Speaker 6 comment on this, even though you're not playing for any points.

Speaker 6 Maybe you could steal it too if they get it wrong.

Speaker 37 Maybe we'll decide later.

Speaker 126 Depends how far ahead you guys get it.

Speaker 140 You want to keep a close game going?

Speaker 59 You can reach across the table or you can put your arms around your hands around somebody's throat.

Speaker 6 So the first story, they all involve going to the post office because that's been my life lately is going to the post office and mailing things.

Speaker 6 While dropping off mail at a post office I don't frequent all that often, I entered the building and two workers were behind the counter wearing street clothes.

Speaker 6 They nervously looked at me when I approached them and looked at each other like, you know, what are we supposed to do here? Which I noticed right off the bat was very strange behavior.

Speaker 6 I approached the counter with a tote of packages with a scan sheet.

Speaker 6 Now, a scan sheet allows them to just scan the sheet and like if you have 100 packages in that tote, all the packages are checked in. Okay, convenient.
So it's nice and easy for the postal worker.

Speaker 6 So I handed her the tote and I handed her the sheet and she didn't know what to do with the sheet. She was like very like indecisive what to do and she's like, oh, I don't need this.

Speaker 6 Something I've done a hundred times now. I was like, well, no, you definitely need to scan this.
I said, or else I have no record of

Speaker 6 me dropping off these packages. There'll be no tracking record for the people who are awaiting them.
And she says, nope, I don't need it. That's okay.
I don't need it.

Speaker 6 And tried to just blow me off and grab the tote from my hand. Which then I said, nope, actually, I'm sorry.
I go, this is the wrong tote for that scan sheet.

Speaker 6 I said, I pulled it back because I didn't want to give it to her. I was so alarmed by their behavior.
And when I took it back from her,

Speaker 6 again, the two workers in street street clothes, not even in postal employees,

Speaker 6 like just looked at each other like they didn't know what the hell was going on. So I thought something was really

Speaker 6 amiss in this postal installation. So I went outside, I called the cops, and I said, I think you need to come down here and check what's going on because something is not right in this post office.

Speaker 6 I think they're maybe robbing the place.

Speaker 17 Like a die-hard situation or something.

Speaker 6 Because it just feels like they had no idea what to do behind the counter.

Speaker 92 They looked at each other.

Speaker 17 Were you in a post office? Was I in the post office? Yeah, you were in like KFC.

Speaker 106 No.

Speaker 19 So I was thinking too.

Speaker 6 So I called them and I said, look, I know I'm probably overreacting. I said, but you might want to come down here and take a look, just see if everything's okay down here.

Speaker 6 And I was waiting for the cops to come. And

Speaker 6 a postal truck pulled up, went inside, and came out with mail. So when that happened, I was like, okay, this is probably not the situation I thought it was.

Speaker 6 So I just left and didn't wait for the cops to come. Okay.
And never went back to the post office. Wow.

Speaker 6 So I did call the cops on the

Speaker 6 fishy behavior going on.

Speaker 66 I wanted them to hurry, so I called in a bomb threat.

Speaker 6 Story two.

Speaker 116 Go ahead.

Speaker 14 No, I'm just thinking about what your conversation was with the 911 operator.

Speaker 6 I just said that.

Speaker 14 Like I was trying to mail something, and the lady had no idea what a total. You know, the scan,

Speaker 14 she didn't know what that was. I would get a unit down here, ASAP.

Speaker 6 So, this other one, I'm trying to make

Speaker 6 a personal connection with every postal employee I go in with. You know, I try to talk to them and try to make them feel like they love you down there.

Speaker 6 Because they don't, they hate me because I bring so much mail down there.

Speaker 6 But I'm trying to make it so they like me a little bit more, so I will josh around with them or talk to them about how do you josh around with them.

Speaker 23 I was just thinking the same thing.

Speaker 14 That's the opposite of calling the cops.

Speaker 58 Think of the same thing.

Speaker 6 So, I said to the one the lady asked me this.

Speaker 52 Maybe it's because if they're out of uniform, you call the authorities on them that they don't like you.

Speaker 14 I mean, nothing a good josh in campfix next time.

Speaker 6 So I went into this one

Speaker 6 lady who I've been talking to, you know, kind of like

Speaker 6 chit-chatting with.

Speaker 47 Yeah.

Speaker 6 And she said to me something that she said every day, is there anything perishable, liquid, fragile, or flammable in the package that I I was mailing. And I said, all the above.

Speaker 6 And when I said all the above, I was just fooling around. Is this your second story?

Speaker 33 This is the second story. All right.

Speaker 6 So you were Joshan? Joshan, and she lost it. She looked at me horrified and was like, and I looked at her and I was like, oh, I was just kidding around.
And she started going,

Speaker 6 losing it, going like, I can't believe this. She's like, what is wrong with people? She's going like, I just can't, I have to fill out paperwork now.

Speaker 6 because you said there's something flammable or dangerous in this package. And I was like, no, no, no, I promise you, I said, I was just teasing because I said, who's ever going to answer yes to that?

Speaker 6 I thought it would be funny.

Speaker 6 And I said, all the above. I'm just Josh.
Sean, it was.

Speaker 19 She called the cops on you.

Speaker 54 And she was like, I need that package.

Speaker 6 And I was like, look, let's just open it. I said, there's just a patch in here.
I said. So I opened up the patch and I was like, look, it's just a patch.

Speaker 6 And she just put her fingers on her nose like this. I was just rubbing.
And I was just like, well, I'm going to go now. All right.
Because I couldn't mail it anyway because I had opened it now.

Speaker 6 So I need a new packaging. And she didn't say anything.
So I just left. And I haven't gone back to that post office either.

Speaker 57 You're running out of post office.

Speaker 6 And finally, the last story, again, at a post office. Horrible stories.
I'm opening the big industrial-sized doors at the post office that you have to go in to get into the building.

Speaker 6 They're super heavy. And I'm waiting for the door to hit me because I have another giant tote full of boxes.
And I'm like going to catch it with my backside, the door.

Speaker 6 And for some reason, I'm like, boy, that door should have hit me by now. It should have, you know, but then all of a sudden I feel something super heavy hit me and almost knocked me down.

Speaker 6 The door had fallen off the hinges.

Speaker 6 So, and luckily though, like the door didn't have enough time because this is like a super door.

Speaker 6 Like if it had fallen and I was a little bit further away from the door and had time to like catch up, it would have crushed me and probably would have like given me a concussion or, you know, worse.

Speaker 6 So I had to sit there and try to like nav, like keep the door up without it falling and still hold my packages and I was able to put the packages down and kind of secure the door lift it and put it back so it wouldn't you fix the door didn't fix it so it could be usable but fix it so nobody would get hurt by it okay and that's when the postal employee ran out and started dressing me down actually I said this to me what the fuck did you just do what the hell is wrong with you what the fuck is going on right now

Speaker 6 I was so taken aback by him cursing at me. I was just like, I wasn't doing anything.
I just opened the door and it fell on me. And he goes, well, I can't open the building.
I got to close now.

Speaker 6 This is unfucking believable. And I was so worried that he would take it out.
Like if I, if I went at him, it like blew up.

Speaker 84 I was like, you took your packages and left.

Speaker 6 I thought he would take it out on my incoming or outcoming, outgoing mail. Okay.

Speaker 6 So I just sheepishly apologized. I was like, yeah, I don't know what happened.
I'm so sorry. And I...
just left. With the packages.
With the packages, because he had to close.

Speaker 6 And he was just like sitting there muttering and just like so angry as I walked away because the door was off the hinges. Those are the three stories.
Wow.

Speaker 17 Initial, if you have to pick right now before we even ask the package.

Speaker 23 So some of these are false stories?

Speaker 88 Two of them are false.

Speaker 23 They're fucking awesome stories.

Speaker 58 I really appreciate it.

Speaker 23 Altogether, it's a powerful indictment against the United Postal Department.

Speaker 23 The horrible Twilight Zone episode of horror.

Speaker 17 Well, that is his life.

Speaker 6 Yeah, the postal employees are everything that they are, that the world thinks they are.

Speaker 116 Believe, I know.

Speaker 6 They are, man. They're a crouchy bunch.

Speaker 33 Yeah, they are. They're not happy.

Speaker 6 They're really not happy people.

Speaker 6 Although I have met a few

Speaker 6 that have tried to change my opinion. But inevitably, if I go to them now, since they're nice to me one time, I'll keep going back to them.

Speaker 6 They'll inevitably grow tired of me.

Speaker 14 I feel like I feel about them. I feel about the TSA.

Speaker 31 Oh, yeah. Yeah.
Yeah. I do not like the TSA.

Speaker 84 We always get treated.

Speaker 14 Well, there are nice TSA people.

Speaker 55 Yeah.

Speaker 14 But like, also, I find a big section of the DSA is not nice.

Speaker 86 I think their MO is like,

Speaker 14 you don't know what you're going to get that day.

Speaker 82 That's how I feel.

Speaker 46 So all the nice people, I'm talking about you.

Speaker 135 And if you, if you're nice,

Speaker 14 I'm not shitting on you if you're just DSA, but all the motherfuckers out there.

Speaker 52 It's not in their job description to be a bad person.

Speaker 62 I just don't want to be there.

Speaker 14 Treat everyone like shit. Shuana, I resent you all day long.

Speaker 17 So what do you think? So if you had to pick one just without even any questions, what are you thinking, bud?

Speaker 60 I would pick number three.

Speaker 27 Three.

Speaker 27 The true one.

Speaker 60 The true one, the door one.

Speaker 149 Wow. I was going to say the first one.

Speaker 25 See, the first one sounds real to me up until the point where he's fucking calling in

Speaker 25 the law.

Speaker 82 Yeah.

Speaker 23 Yeah, he kind of pushed it.

Speaker 20 Well, the law never showed up now.

Speaker 103 He just left.

Speaker 149 That's the only thing.

Speaker 93 Okay. But I don't even want to think.

Speaker 23 I don't want to think about walking in a post office and seeing

Speaker 55 uncostumed people

Speaker 96 robbing the post office in my hometown.

Speaker 25 You thought postal employees may be tied up.

Speaker 6 Oh, I also didn't. I wanted to mention, I forgot to mention this.
The postal installation was in a rough neighborhood.

Speaker 55 Yeah.

Speaker 18 What neighborhood?

Speaker 51 He brings his stuff down to Asbury for whatever reason.

Speaker 6 It was a really tough neighborhood I don't usually go to.

Speaker 14 I travel a little bit, but I man, my package is in Newark.

Speaker 6 Wow. One question, Bri.
You got one?

Speaker 25 Okay.

Speaker 25 The second one, why would she have to fill out all the paperwork just because of the...

Speaker 6 Because I said there was something

Speaker 6 flammable and dangerous

Speaker 6 in the package.

Speaker 25 Yeah, I would think that she would just be like, well, you can't mail it then.

Speaker 33 Yeah.

Speaker 17 Did the person with the door, did they curse at you? They cursed.

Speaker 118 He said they cursed. They cursed.

Speaker 25 But he's been cursed out before

Speaker 61 at the post office.

Speaker 84 Yeah, but it's so harsh.

Speaker 17 And it's just like, honestly, like, if anybody sees a door fall on you, like, who would look at it?

Speaker 6 They didn't see it. They just seen me fixing the door.

Speaker 57 Yeah, but what do they think he's doing?

Speaker 58 I mean,

Speaker 25 I would assume that he's fixing the door if he's got this huge door on him.

Speaker 55 Yeah, that's what I mean.

Speaker 17 Like, I don't know if somebody would come out and do anything besides, like, oh, man, are you all right? Like, is everything all right?

Speaker 66 You know, by and large, these people are assholes, though, man.

Speaker 115 I've gotten three.

Speaker 25 We got two at that post office.

Speaker 66 If it's the same one we're talking about, I don't know.

Speaker 6 Is that your question? Is it the same one?

Speaker 19 No, no, no.

Speaker 1 Wow.

Speaker 17 So you think three is the true one?

Speaker 25 I think three is the true one. I think calling the cops, I don't think he would.

Speaker 66 He doesn't want to get involved.

Speaker 25 He doesn't want to get involved on that level. The Joshing, I don't think he Joshes that much.

Speaker 17 I don't know. Sometimes I think Walt might try to Josh.

Speaker 84 Yeah.

Speaker 6 I will Josh at times. Like I said, just to get favorable, or at least like being treated like a human being when I walk into the post office.

Speaker 6 I'll do anything just to have them not just roll their eyes and gnash their teeth when I walk in, like, so annoyed that I'm there again.

Speaker 25 It could be that he's incompetent, a casual josh.

Speaker 17 I think you're right. You struck number one off.
Walt's not getting involved in that situation. Certainly not when they could track his number

Speaker 17 to his phone.

Speaker 17 So, so between two and three, I think two's the real one. What do you think?

Speaker 34 You think two's the real one, huh?

Speaker 17 I do. I think he would try to jot.
You know what? No, because he just tried to supplement the story with more facts.

Speaker 53 Yeah, don't you know? Which is, which is a classic Walt Flanagan.

Speaker 64 So I'm going to go.

Speaker 53 I agree with you. Three is the guy.
Number three.

Speaker 23 Just let him talk.

Speaker 64 Your eyes are prosecuting attorney.

Speaker 57 He'll unwind.

Speaker 25 So

Speaker 25 I guess we'll go with three.

Speaker 6 So no questions even. Okay.
Going

Speaker 6 right to

Speaker 6 the guess.

Speaker 17 Well, I mean, I thought we asked a couple of questions.

Speaker 6 I'm good with that.

Speaker 46 You certainly talk a lot.

Speaker 6 Okay, number three.

Speaker 6 Number three. Where the door fell off and the employee ran out, cursing me out.
David, you're a bunch of shit. It was number three.

Speaker 55 Wow.

Speaker 99 That's right, Sherry Lock.

Speaker 14 You're good because I will tell you, I had reasons to believe and not believe all of them.

Speaker 19 All of them.

Speaker 97 When I went on a journey, I originally thought two was real.

Speaker 14 But then when you said, yeah, they wouldn't have to fill out paper, I was like, yeah, you're right.

Speaker 20 Then I thought one was real.

Speaker 14 But then you're like, would he really call the guy? I mean, I really, I was all over this.

Speaker 90 I didn't think it was three, You got to play Walt.

Speaker 17 That's the thing.

Speaker 64 When he started throwing in extra details, forget about the game.

Speaker 6 And he came out and just angrily dropped the F-bomb on me. Like, what the fuck did you just do?

Speaker 84 That's crazy.

Speaker 23 And I was just like, that's not crazy.

Speaker 55 That's totally New Jersey.

Speaker 88 Yeah. You would tell the third one.

Speaker 23 It's been the last couple of years. Yeah, I want to see the two of them.

Speaker 58 Other ones you were not losing their shit over.

Speaker 141 I wanted to make it look like I.

Speaker 61 Shit.

Speaker 66 This is poker stakes.

Speaker 6 But all three are based in somewhat reality.

Speaker 14 I thought I was going to say in the beginning, I figured that the lady didn't know what that was.

Speaker 52 Exactly. Right.

Speaker 6 It's like, the people who dressed in street clothes, that really did happen. I just didn't call the cops.

Speaker 127 I really did take the tote back because I didn't trust them.

Speaker 6 I did it.

Speaker 6 And the one where I made the joke about like

Speaker 6 she didn't say she had to do it. Exactly.
I made the joke and she didn't think it was funny, but also didn't overreact and make me open the package.

Speaker 14 And that's the key to one, true, three, elements of truth in all of them.

Speaker 47 Absolutely.

Speaker 17 so it's tied up tied up neck and neck i enjoyed all the stories

Speaker 6 oh so the curator has a point and sherry larkin has a point and we're ready to introduce our very first

Speaker 64 in all three you've in all three you fucking mailed nothing though uh it happened with a cappers but in all three scenarios that were true you left the post office without mailing what you needed to mail i uh thankfully i live scuttled out with a sack over his back what's the percentage of times you go to the post office where you actually end up mailing something?

Speaker 6 It's better than 75%, but lower than 90%.

Speaker 110 One out of four times it's a walnut.

Speaker 130 That is such a leap.

Speaker 124 Like, if you cumulatively add that up over your lifetime, there's hundreds of post office visits that amount to zilch.

Speaker 23 Can't you hire somebody to go to the post office for you? For Christ's sake?

Speaker 116 I thought we did.

Speaker 23 What are you doing? Selling like t-shirts?

Speaker 6 Yeah, yeah, that's

Speaker 89 a kid.

Speaker 6 I have my kid doing it, but she won't go to the postal because she's just

Speaker 6 so afraid of the postal employees that I'm like, okay, I'll do it.

Speaker 46 Yeah, I can't blame it. Like the federal hearings or whatever

Speaker 86 deciding what to do at this institution.

Speaker 25 Well, before we introduce anybody else, though, I want to tell you the headphones that I use when I listen to Monster Radio.

Speaker 95 Oh, yes, me too.

Speaker 32 Raycon. Raycon, Dave.

Speaker 57 Have you heard of these?

Speaker 20 I know all about them.

Speaker 64 Yeah, I heard of them.

Speaker 25 It's never too early to start gift shopping for the holidays, Dave, especially because today you can save big on a gift they'll use every day. Raycon wireless earbuds.

Speaker 45 I use them.

Speaker 25 Oh, my God. I'm Mary Beth Note.
My wife constantly puts little notes in here.

Speaker 20 Like, I can't handle this.

Speaker 25 They have gorgeous colors. Cyber blue, rose gold, and digital purple are her favorites.

Speaker 116 Aw.

Speaker 66 She ain't getting any of them for Christmas.

Speaker 23 I'm going to get her black. You've got to change your brand next year, too.
You're going to have a trouble.

Speaker 25 I know. Next thing you know, you're absolutely.

Speaker 25 With seamless Bluetooth pairing and a comfortable noise-isolating fit, you can start listening right away and keep listening for hours.

Speaker 25 The audio quality is amazing, comparable to what you get from other premium brands, except Raycon starts at half the price.

Speaker 25 The new everyday earbuds come with three sound profiles to make sure you're listening to sounds.

Speaker 25 Sorry, let me back that up. The new everyday earbuds come with three new sound profiles to make sure everything you're listening to sounds its best with just the right amount of bass.

Speaker 25 Nobody wants too much bass, right, Dave?

Speaker 23 No, but bass, too much bass is overrated.

Speaker 61 It's only good for hip-hop.

Speaker 145 Everything else, it just swamps it out.

Speaker 6 So country music, no bass.

Speaker 23 Well, I mean, it should be amount of bass, but not like the amount of bass you get hip hop on.

Speaker 127 Raycon offers.

Speaker 6 Do you think that's why country is not as popular as hip-hop?

Speaker 25 Not enough bass.

Speaker 33 That's a good question.

Speaker 25 Raycon offers eight hours of playtime and a 32-hour battery life, and there's a built-in mic so you can take calls on your earbuds at the press of a button. So this holiday season, Q.

Speaker 62 Yeah.

Speaker 25 Get them something they can use for calls or music or for work and play at home or on the go and pick up a pair for yourself. Trust me.

Speaker 25 You're going to use them every day. So go to buyraycon.com/slash T-E-S-D to order today to unlock exclusive deals up to 20% off your Raycon order.

Speaker 25 But hurry, this offer is available for a limited time only and you don't want to miss it. That's buyraycon.com slash T-E-S-D to unlock up to 20% off your Raycons.
Buyraycon.com slash TESD.

Speaker 17 Did we charge more for the 500th episode, Ad?

Speaker 118 I don't think we did.

Speaker 17 We should be like banging them over the head for 10 times the normal amount, no? Or at least five times.

Speaker 99 Yeah, we'll hold them hostage now.

Speaker 125 Yeah.

Speaker 51 I'll cut it out.

Speaker 58 He's not crying fuck out, Raycon.

Speaker 21 We don't care.

Speaker 14 That 20% is also good across all Raycon products, not just the earbuds.

Speaker 23 It's like old-time radio. It's great.

Speaker 55 Are you ready to bring in

Speaker 6 a new guest to the table?

Speaker 55 Can't wait.

Speaker 6 We're going to start something. Now, I hopefully that the next person who came into the table explained to you what this next segment is all about.

Speaker 6 And hopefully, Q explained to you, Sal,

Speaker 6 the basics of this next segment. It's called Purveyors, Posers, and Playlists.

Speaker 17 And what it is is... Remember how I explained this to you, right?

Speaker 95 How did he point to you?

Speaker 14 He said, Walt needs you to send him three songs.

Speaker 22 That's it?

Speaker 140 Yeah, well, he said they had to be novelty songs.

Speaker 6 Okay, but he didn't tell you why. It ended there.

Speaker 23 Who was supposed to explain this to me? Our next guest?

Speaker 6 Our next guest.

Speaker 23 Our next guest was explained to him. You explained it to him.

Speaker 23 Which I guess you did not, because he doesn't know.

Speaker 62 Oh, he definitely knows.

Speaker 127 Oh, he does. Yeah.

Speaker 6 Let's bring him in now.

Speaker 87 Tim, the record store clerk.

Speaker 68 There we go.

Speaker 25 He's making a grand entrance.

Speaker 6 Right in front of that mic.

Speaker 124 There you go, bud.

Speaker 64 You lying son of a bitch.

Speaker 6 You don't know the rules of this?

Speaker 16 I press and record. Okay.

Speaker 23 I can fake it.

Speaker 16 Totally.

Speaker 123 We're supposed to debate.

Speaker 6 So, Dave, you don't know how the game is played? No. Okay, so let me give you like a quick crash course.
Sound knows.

Speaker 60 I explained it.

Speaker 147 Okay.

Speaker 17 But listen up anyway, Sal.

Speaker 6 Okay, so this is like a debating.

Speaker 20 Yeah, tell him again, as I told him once already.

Speaker 123 So

Speaker 6 I came up with this game called Purveyors, Posers, and Playlist because

Speaker 6 I always

Speaker 6 remembered how...

Speaker 6 In my youth, when I would go to a record store and buy music, when I used to have to go to, you know, buy an album or buy a CD,

Speaker 6 that feeling of bringing it up to the counter and being judged by the clerk

Speaker 46 by the clerk

Speaker 6 that was a rite of passage for years and years and you did not want to bring something up that you know would make would elicit a comment other than like oh you know your shit right

Speaker 6 that's what I was trying to bring to this game so we would pick a topic or a genre of music

Speaker 6 and You would pick a playlist. Like, let's say it was best stone songs.
You would pick three stone songs and your opponent would pick three stone songs.

Speaker 6 You would tell Tim, who is the judge and who is the arbiter of like who you like these songs, yeah. And Tim would would grade and award who was the purveyor and who was the poser.

Speaker 79 Okay,

Speaker 52 basically,

Speaker 23 we pretend like we're 13 years old.

Speaker 103 Which one of these songs has he not eaten

Speaker 149 at the post office?

Speaker 6 Tim has become beloved. You know, if you Tim, I mean, our listeners love Tim because of his.
Yeah, I think so.

Speaker 84 Yeah, that you got your own poster, right?

Speaker 111 Yeah.

Speaker 90 He's also over there, too.

Speaker 6 There's another Tim one over there.

Speaker 59 Holy shit.

Speaker 28 Yeah. Wow.

Speaker 6 So, yeah, this is one of our newer segments that has really resonated with our listeners. And for the

Speaker 6 500th episode, one of my dream matchups was to have you on here.

Speaker 83 You know,

Speaker 6 one of my favorite all-time artists, not just saying that, is

Speaker 6 definitely one of my all-time favorite artists to have you at the table to hear you

Speaker 6 pwn somebody.

Speaker 83 I have reasons.

Speaker 119 I want to hear you pwn somebody tonight.

Speaker 28 That's what I'm hoping for.

Speaker 6 And I know our listeners do.

Speaker 6 And Sal. I mean, I thought novelty songs, you know, but I have to pwn like, but Brian

Speaker 33 shows, yeah.

Speaker 85 You're going to pone someone.

Speaker 14 But aren't novelty songs by nature

Speaker 30 ridiculous?

Speaker 23 You got to get all over that shit. You got to go back to when you're 13 years old.
Like, just go in.

Speaker 88 I know exactly.

Speaker 14 At least one of them I chose on based on being ridiculous because it's a novelty song.

Speaker 18 Well, I think you make the argument, though.

Speaker 84 Yeah.

Speaker 70 You're going to be able to defend that. Oh, I think.

Speaker 14 No, one of the ones I chose.

Speaker 23 I can actually win just by anatomy.

Speaker 46 For example,

Speaker 14 one of the ones I chose, I think it's absolutely

Speaker 85 versus Led Zeppelin.

Speaker 14 And that's why I think it's such a good choice. I didn't realize that it was like more like passionate.
I didn't realize you're going to have to defend it.

Well, I mean, I know, like, I know that you can defend something without even believing it.

Speaker 58 Yeah. So like.

Speaker 62 You're proud of that?

Speaker 6 And Tim's a harsh judge.

Speaker 125 Well, you can't realize it was like

Speaker 14 stand by your song type of thing. Okay.

Speaker 6 And you have to, and then you have to like.

Speaker 14 Can I, can I, I gave alts. Can I sub one for

Speaker 6 since it's episode 500 and you weren't really told the rules properly?

Speaker 34 Yeah. Yeah, you could switch.

Speaker 14 I don't remember what I sent over. Yeah, you sent these.

Speaker 61 I don't know, it's read up on them.

Speaker 6 I imagine that Yankee song is going, right? Yeah.

Speaker 61 So that was stupid as fucking.

Speaker 135 I was choosing it based on I figured I fucking were going to do something and it would be comical and that's why I chose that one.

Speaker 82 It was so absurd.

Speaker 6 Okay, so while you're choosing,

Speaker 6 why don't we get, and this is going to be a sanctioned match for Purveyor's Closers and playlist Ultimate Purveyor? Okay. Because you haven't gone in the tournament yet, Q.

Speaker 17 In the tournament. I've played this game before.

Speaker 6 I've played it before, but not in a sanctioned bout. It's going to be a sanctioned bout for episode 500.

Speaker 70 I don't want to fight you.

Speaker 23 Hey, can we get some of the dickhead in here? Like, who are you both going to fight?

Speaker 6 Oh, no, you got it. And I don't want to play.

Speaker 62 Are we playing the songs?

Speaker 6 Underneath in post. Okay.
Low, like underneath, very low.

Speaker 23 Yeah, it's kind of hard to play this game without. Well, no, actually, it isn't.
Who cares what it actually sounds like?

Speaker 6 So, Q and Dave, you're going head-to-head. You're going up against each other.
Yeah. And the theme or the playlist theme was love songs.

Speaker 23 Yes.

Speaker 141 Which is hard.

Speaker 52 Which is harder than I thought.

Speaker 23 Shitty category.

Speaker 61 Yeah, it was terrible.

Speaker 55 It's like, how many, you know, you're like, I'm going to play my favorite love songs tonight.

Speaker 62 Never happens.

Speaker 43 Never happens. But that's all right.
It's just

Speaker 6 my thoughts. Do you want to go first, Q, or do you want Dave to go first?

Speaker 17 I leave it to our guests, his choice.

Speaker 6 What would you like to do, Dave?

Speaker 23 All right, so I'm picking the song.

Speaker 147 I'll go first or second.

Speaker 34 You go first. I'll go first.

Speaker 6 And Sal, you are, when Dave is announcing his three songs, you are his corner man, and you are allowed to weigh in and

Speaker 6 help him.

Speaker 14 I get behind Dave.

Speaker 6 You get behind Dave and like

Speaker 6 to help sell to Tim, who's the final show.

Speaker 66 I'm not too close. No worries.
I will not.

Speaker 60 Now, are we going with the edit wrinkle of the timer, which we normally don't use?

Speaker 6 Yeah, we're going to try to make this one a little like you can speed it up a little bit.

Speaker 47 Okay.

Speaker 113 Okay, we got 12 songs going.

Speaker 47 Yeah, a lot of them.

Speaker 1 Right.

Speaker 6 All right. So, Q, you're going to go first? Yeah.

Speaker 36 Okay.

Speaker 6 This is your three all-time best love songs. Yeah.

Speaker 86 So you want me to break them down?

Speaker 85 Oh my God.

Speaker 23 Are you reaching for something?

Speaker 17 Well, I just want to make sure that I have

Speaker 23 because I was like, if this guy's going in with no notes, he's going to fucking kill him.

Speaker 94 Oh, I don't have any notes.

Speaker 20 I'm going to put my phone again.

Speaker 6 I let Q pick the topic. Okay.
Yeah, I didn't pick the playlist.

Speaker 55 Did I pick that?

Speaker 9 I didn't pick up the page.

Speaker 6 Yeah, because I said I want to go cosmic written. And you said, no, you know what would be funny?

Speaker 17 I don't know if I said that.

Speaker 6 You said if we do something that, you know, something direct opposite of what Dave's into, love songs.

Speaker 55 Yeah, I said that.

Speaker 47 Yeah.

Speaker 53 Because I would think that Dave has such a large musical knowledge that he'd be good in all of it.

Speaker 89 I'll say that too.

Speaker 57 I was like, well, yeah, I can do that.

Speaker 84 So, my, so, so, all right.

Speaker 34 So, you want all three at once, or one by one in the one by one.

Speaker 116 Okay, one by one.

Speaker 6 And then you, and you tell Tim

Speaker 6 why you chose him, and then Dave has Dave. You can't really talk until it's your turn to like pick him apart.

Speaker 19 All right, right. So it's like a parameter.

Speaker 23 In this corner. Yeah.

Speaker 123 So

Speaker 119 you're good.

Speaker 17 So

Speaker 17 you know my selection is ready. Yes.
And you have an opinion on it already.

Speaker 30 Yes. Okay.

Speaker 17 All right. So I guess I'll work.

Speaker 17 My first one that I sent over was Elvis. Sure.
The Wonder of You,

Speaker 80 which to me.

Speaker 83 Dave? Dave?

Speaker 6 Can't talk?

Speaker 6 Okay.

Speaker 80 You said the ticket. Cost your points.

Speaker 17 My thinking on it was on the the wonder of you was one it's elvis which is i think right away lends any credence to any love song because it's it's elvis singing it um two to me is it it really puts out there what someone can mean to someone else uh you know he speaks about her effect on him and and like how that makes him feel about it's a little bit of a selfish song like this is why i feel this way about you he lays it out it's very clear it's elvis's voice i'm sure it's been a million wedding songs for a reason

Speaker 17 that's my eldest one okay

Speaker 86 you don't think he had any but yeah okay you don't think he had any better love songs than that uh

Speaker 6 if he did he would have chosen I think he's got a million love songs better than that but I think that's that's that's up there that's one of the most popular ones for me now Q do you do you hold Elvis as the king of rock and roll be all end all I well I don't know if he's a be and then though but he's definitely the king yeah but but like is he like the most influential artist in recording history oh I'd have to say one of them, yeah.

Speaker 17 I don't know about the number one, but I mean, who else is bigger? Sinatra, you know? Okay.

Speaker 33 Yeah. Do you agree with that, Dick?

Speaker 17 I mean, the Beatles said before there was Elvis, there's nothing.

Speaker 23 Elvis was a spark for the mass media generation. He defines all

Speaker 23 mass media generation stars from the very beginning. Before that, there was no mass media star.

Speaker 86 Elvis was the first TV, radio, everything.

Speaker 34 It hasn't really

Speaker 23 gone much past his demonstration.

Speaker 85 It's all variations of Elvis.

Speaker 6 Have you ever been influenced by any Elvis songs in your recording?

Speaker 23 Just by Elvis himself, yeah. I mean, fucking Elvis, you know what I mean? It's like

Speaker 6 performance-wise or more music-wise?

Speaker 23 I'd say performance-wise, you're just getting in the mood for something. It's like, what would Elvis do? He'd say, fuck it, you know.
Yeah. You know what I mean? It's just like that kind of thing.

Speaker 6 What would Elvis do? That has to be a t-shirt. Yeah.

Speaker 58 What would Elvis do?

Speaker 136 He'd say, fuck it, you know?

Speaker 17 As a song like it, it sounds like a love song.

Speaker 17 That's the other thing about it. It does sound like a love song.

Speaker 84 It sounds like a love song.

Speaker 17 It's epic. It builds

Speaker 62 everything.

Speaker 6 What's the word I'm used to where it's like very dense? Dense.

Speaker 103 I can't hold it in.

Speaker 23 I can't hold it in.

Speaker 85 Go ahead. Go ahead.

Speaker 6 We'll give you one second or one minute to respond to that.

Speaker 136 Yeah, go ahead.

Speaker 52 Yeah, go ahead.

Speaker 23 Jane, you ignorant slut.

Speaker 90 Yeah, great.

Speaker 33 Yeah.

Speaker 23 For one thing, Elvis had a lot better love songs. Number two,

Speaker 23 The Wonder of You, a love song. It's a love song by a pill-popping narcissist to himself in a mirror.

Speaker 38 Those people walk the earth.

Speaker 17 He didn't say what it's a love song about.

Speaker 25 Sounds like me, except without the musical talent.

Speaker 72 Overblown Ballyhoo.

Speaker 57 Okay. No way.

Speaker 72 Unte.

Speaker 17 So are you saying that because it is so popular?

Speaker 86 Because people, I mean,

Speaker 17 a lot of people love that song

Speaker 17 and think it's amazing.

Speaker 23 You know, I'm speaking strictly in terms of love here, and I don't don't hear the love in that song. I hear

Speaker 17 Elvis

Speaker 23 singing about love.

Speaker 16 Yeah.

Speaker 23 But

Speaker 23 I hear him singing, but what I hear, the total purpose of the song is for him to hear himself sing.

Speaker 6 And he's singing about himself.

Speaker 23 Well, that's just what I wanted to say. But no, he's singing a song that's

Speaker 64 now that you mention it.

Speaker 58 And I wanted to say, I wanted to say pill popping, that he was a pill-popping song.

Speaker 17 I felt it was, it doesn't matter, like from the mouth of babes, like that feeling can come from anywhere.

Speaker 43 He was a pill popper.

Speaker 139 He was a bit crazy.

Speaker 17 He is, but like, that song is about an epic love, whether it be for himself or for someone else.

Speaker 116 One to love you.

Speaker 23 Right.

Speaker 17 Yeah. That's how it's going to go.

Speaker 85 Love me. There's one line that boils it all down.

Speaker 23 Love me tender.

Speaker 104 It's tripe.

Speaker 25 I guess I'll never know the reason why you love me as you do.

Speaker 25 He's like, I don't know why, but I'm going to give myself over to it.

Speaker 17 He's dealing with insecurity.

Speaker 128 That should win it right there.

Speaker 45 That line alone.

Speaker 17 I mean, the guy is injecting basic insecurities into a massive epic love song.

Speaker 23 I don't know, man.

Speaker 17 I think it's there.

Speaker 33 Oh,

Speaker 127 Dave has notes.

Speaker 3 On?

Speaker 6 On his songs.

Speaker 61 Yeah. On your songs.
Wow, okay. On my own song.

Speaker 123 Oh, you have notes on his songs? Oh, yeah.

Speaker 16 No, no.

Speaker 14 Oh, but you just read that lyric.

Speaker 61 I just

Speaker 82 usually keep that with him all the time.

Speaker 14 Oh, you print it out to me.

Speaker 142 Usually people come prepared.

Speaker 47 Yeah, no, just the one lyric.

Speaker 70 The rest of the stuff is for me and you.

Speaker 32 Oh, okay.

Speaker 61 Novelty stuff. I'm under prepared, I I guess.
All right, so for the next song.

Speaker 6 But Sal, do you have anything about that song, The Wonder of You? Any thoughts on it as Dave's wingman?

Speaker 35 Or corner man?

Speaker 104 Not wingman.

Speaker 27 You're talking love.

Speaker 86 Yeah, I mean, love me tender.

Speaker 14 You know, what if I

Speaker 14 you mean for the for the contrarian's sake?

Speaker 51 Yeah, you gotta stick by Dave for the curator's sake.

Speaker 107 The curator's going, yes.

Speaker 103 As Dave stated,

Speaker 128 Elvis is a pill-popping.

Speaker 65 I'm not going to sit here and listen to this.

Speaker 53 I'm not going to sit here and listen to this.

Speaker 55 Why?

Speaker 87 Everybody's a pill-popping.

Speaker 108 Except for you.

Speaker 121 It was like Dave was reading my mind.

Speaker 88 You liked the song.

Speaker 6 Was that? You like the song, obviously.

Speaker 55 It sounds like the wonder of you.

Speaker 125 I mean, being honest,

Speaker 4 the wonder of you.

Speaker 131 Let's go, Pavarati, go. That's right.

Speaker 14 Am I here for the Chancellor?

Speaker 43 What's his name?

Speaker 29 Curator

Speaker 23 Am I thinking of the curator right now, or am I shooting straight?

Speaker 6 Well, also, you got to think about the other listeners, not just the curator. If you've got something good to say, I'd say that it's a pretty epic ballad.
It is epic.

Speaker 62 I'm not an

Speaker 14 epic ballad, but I'm an epic artist.

Speaker 46 I just don't think it's love.

Speaker 23 I don't think it's tender enough.

Speaker 139 Well, look, man, it's not your list.

Speaker 35 It's mine.

Speaker 99 I would say it could be a little bloated you want, man.

Speaker 46 I would say that it could be a little bloated.

Speaker 102 Shock bloated.

Speaker 94 Oh, did you hear that, Tim?

Speaker 80 Great word. What?

Speaker 150 Say it again.

Speaker 14 I said it possibly, potentially, it could be a little bloated, as Dave would say. That's a good word.

Speaker 135 It's not a bloated.

Speaker 17 Listen, he's right, but love's a messy thing.

Speaker 146 It's bloated sometimes.

Speaker 61 Sometimes love possibly.

Speaker 105 I'm a walking love.

Speaker 84 All right. The second one I saw.

Speaker 20 Bloated.

Speaker 17 The undeniable. It's a banger of a song.
It's

Speaker 17 Sam Cook.

Speaker 28 Right? Yep.

Speaker 47 What a wonderful world.

Speaker 38 What a wonderful world. But not.
You know the song? Don't know much about history.

Speaker 14 That's not what a wonderful world is.

Speaker 30 But not the Louis Armstrong.

Speaker 38 There's two confusion. It's two different songs.

Speaker 116 I got confused too.

Speaker 25 I was rating the other one.

Speaker 38 It's an Animal House. It was an Animal House.

Speaker 82 Is it what a wonderful world it would be?

Speaker 71 What a wonderful world this would be.

Speaker 7 This would be. Yeah.

Speaker 155 But I mean,

Speaker 157 look at that. You see that right there?

Speaker 67 Well, Sam Cook's one of my favorite artists of all time.

Speaker 17 To me, besides this being a fucking song that if I hear it once, I will be singing it

Speaker 153 for days.

Speaker 17 It's gorgeous. It's short, two minutes, 30, 34 seconds.
That's great. And to me, it's like it really, out of all these songs, really spoke to me the most.

Speaker 17 Because this is a guy who is admitting nothing but his faults. I don't know much about this.
I don't know much about this, but here's what I do know, baby. Tim, look at my eyes.

Speaker 159 To listen to this, can confirm they're looking at each other.

Speaker 23 If you love, all I gotta know is that if you love me too, what a fucking wonderful world this would be.

Speaker 17 And I think that really speaks to the human, besides being a fucking great song, I think it just speaks to the human condition of just like, you can have an illiterate serf in the Middle Ages.

Speaker 17 You could have the president of the United States now. And it's just like they all are together in one thing.
It doesn't matter what they know. All that matters is there's the person I love.

Speaker 17 And if they love me as well. everything is fucking great.

Speaker 17 And to me, it's just like to get that across in such plain language, in such a short song, in such a fucking great singing, like singable song.

Speaker 38 I don't know how you beat that, man.

Speaker 25 Like, drink. Drink your merchandise, Sherry.

Speaker 38 Like, I don't know how you beat that.

Speaker 30 I can't see anybody saying anything bad about that song.

Speaker 17 It's just a great song, Dave.

Speaker 40 Actually, I like that song.

Speaker 40 I like this song.

Speaker 67 I love it.

Speaker 14 It's a classic, so it's hard to talk about a classic.

Speaker 67 I think you go for it.

Speaker 23 It's quite good. It's not as tender as a love song should be, but it gets very, very close.
I mean, its merits are exactly what Q just said.

Speaker 23 That it's, he's just like, it's across the board, a good mood song. Like,

Speaker 23 the world may come at me with a bunch of different questions that I don't really know it about. But when it comes to you, my love, I know what I'm talking about.
Yeah.

Speaker 30 So you're agreeing with his choice?

Speaker 23 I think his choice is great.

Speaker 123 Oh, I thought.

Speaker 14 I don't know how this is going to be.

Speaker 110 This is unusual.

Speaker 99 It's an unusual tactic right here.

Speaker 141 Well, it's going to be easy to pick up on a novelty song.

Speaker 143 He's picking songs out of the great American song book.

Speaker 114 He's like, well,

Speaker 114 that sucks.

Speaker 58 He's like, oh, he loves it.

Speaker 94 Everyone loves that.

Speaker 103 You're thinking of it.

Speaker 136 I'm going to go and be like, Yankees, how you doing?

Speaker 23 You've got a good point there, Sal.

Speaker 23 Their future is not bright for you.

Speaker 14 As a selection, just as a selection,

Speaker 14 even of Sam Cook's or everything, I could say possibly the only thing I didn't come up with, maybe a tinge of a plate. So there's a little bit of, I don't know.

Speaker 23 Okay.

Speaker 14 And then as it, as it, as a kind of a jokey thing, it's like, all right, into the love song, but he's talking about algebra and things like that. Just quirky things.

Speaker 52 That's a good thing.

Speaker 14 It kind of desensitizes it slightly.

Speaker 17 But really, I'm just making sure that's the way he's singing about algebra that bridges over that for me.

Speaker 63 Yeah.

Speaker 23 Well, that's the gimmick. That's a song.
It's a gimmicky song because it's got all those buzzwords and stuff. It's a good, well-written pop song.

Speaker 128 Yeah.

Speaker 82 I love that song.

Speaker 123 It is a

Speaker 14 it is focused on like I think teens.

Speaker 49 I don't know shit about algebra

Speaker 58 school.

Speaker 14 About the French I took. Don't know much about history, biology.

Speaker 6 Right, but what makes it puppy love rather than real love?

Speaker 6 No, that's what has to be pondered.

Speaker 84 It's universal.

Speaker 98 He's saying all the things he's not good at.

Speaker 55 He reflects what he claims to be an ace of the sky.

Speaker 23 Or are you saying he's just a midget?

Speaker 55 It does,

Speaker 55 he's a functional idiot.

Speaker 6 Yeah, like a tiger beat level of.

Speaker 84 Are you guys stopping learning, or are you guys students of life?

Speaker 58 Which one is it? I don't know what it is.

Speaker 116 Did you stop hard body blow by?

Speaker 59 I know, he's there.

Speaker 138 I know.

Speaker 124 He's guiding this thing.

Speaker 55 Not because I'm in fucking Switzerland.

Speaker 128 Again,

Speaker 128 I'm on behalf of the Chancellor.

Speaker 17 I think this next song is going to unite this table.

Speaker 30 I don't see it, unless it's a different song than I have.

Speaker 116 Oh, no.

Speaker 55 It is.

Speaker 17 I know for sure that this guy's going to fucking line up behind me on this one.

Speaker 85 He's losing this teammate.

Speaker 128 Because nobody.

Speaker 17 Nobody in their right mind goes against Dolly Parton and Kenny Rogers singing Islands in the stream.

Speaker 133 It is.

Speaker 23 Not by Barry Gibb from the Bee Gees.

Speaker 17 By Barry Gibb from the Bee. It is, to me, not only one of the best love songs.
It is one of the best songs of all time. These guys are fucking, I mean, listen to it.

Speaker 84 I did the lyrics. You don't like it? No.

Speaker 39 Oh, you're fucking crazy.

Speaker 74 Tough crowd.

Speaker 133 How do you not like Islands in the Extreme?

Speaker 6 It's two musical masters.

Speaker 128 It's coming together. That's Schmaltzy.

Speaker 162 It's too Schmaltzy.

Speaker 146 What is love? What's not.

Speaker 30 I understand, but like Sam Cook wasn't Schmaltzy.

Speaker 17 This is not Schmaltzy, man.

Speaker 23 This is now the judge is arguing.

Speaker 61 The judge argues. Yeah, he's laughing.

Speaker 16 Oh, he's a laugh.

Speaker 24 I'm on your side.

Speaker 14 I don't know if I'm going to argue on his behalf, but I think

Speaker 61 transcends a different kind of thing.

Speaker 59 Let him play a lot of people.

Speaker 23 Argue away. He's really good at playing it.

Speaker 40 So, so let him.

Speaker 17 I mean, I just, to me, a lot of this just rests on the pure fucking legendary talent behind it.

Speaker 133 Part of that is that.

Speaker 17 But, like, the joy in this song is what really hooks me every time. Because a lot of love songs will be about broken hearts, about longing, about wanting.
These two people fucking found each other.

Speaker 17 They're already likening each other to geographical fucking points on the map.

Speaker 6 What two people? Dolly and Kenny?

Speaker 28 Oh, the people that they're singing.

Speaker 11 Oh, the stupidest things I've ever heard.

Speaker 23 We're islands in the stream. What is the fuck does that mean?

Speaker 17 No man is an island, man.

Speaker 134 These two are islands in the stream.

Speaker 17 It is the joy that these two find in having each other.

Speaker 43 That to me,

Speaker 17 look, if I was at a wedding and they came out to Islands in the stream.

Speaker 17 And they were doing anything less than wearing giant feather headdress dress and sparkly outfits and doing synchronized dancing, they failed.

Speaker 147 That's the type of song it is.

Speaker 43 It is about the pure fucking joy of love.

Speaker 84 It is.

Speaker 17 To me, there's no way to deny it. And it's just a fucking, to me, one of the greatest songs of all time.
A little schmaltzy, that's all right.

Speaker 147 What is life without schmaltz?

Speaker 30 I agree.

Speaker 163 You know who didn't like schmaltz?

Speaker 29 The Nazis.

Speaker 37 That's right.

Speaker 145 Did it ever.

Speaker 6 How high did it chart?

Speaker 30 It was number one.

Speaker 23 Number one song. It was huge.

Speaker 23 What about the Elvis song? Do we know how that chart was?

Speaker 30 It was number one in the UK and number nine in the U.S.

Speaker 6 And don't know much about his song.

Speaker 30 He was number 12 in the U.S.

Speaker 43 I mean, sail away with me

Speaker 14 to another world.

Speaker 37 Yeah, I know.

Speaker 104 Sail away with me.

Speaker 61 I heard it so much.

Speaker 23 Is that the one?

Speaker 23 And you can fuck me with a 10-foot pole.

Speaker 14 I said, sing that.

Speaker 77 Alan's in the song.

Speaker 26 That is what we y'all.

Speaker 6 If you could pick any female artist to cover this song with, who would you pick?

Speaker 23 Oh, that's too hard a question. There's so many great singers.
Tori Amos, Rihanna.

Speaker 23 She's got a great voice. Rihanna's got a really, like a real voice.

Speaker 61 That would be awesome.

Speaker 29 Earthy voice.

Speaker 148 Make it happen, Walt.

Speaker 93 Make it happen.

Speaker 89 When you're down at the post office, you're connected.

Speaker 73 Send a letter.

Speaker 70 I love a song that has

Speaker 14 like a current right underneath that keeps building and then releases building.

Speaker 70 Which that doesn't.

Speaker 84 It does.

Speaker 17 And I also try to represent... different stages of love also.

Speaker 17 I felt like Sam Cook was about the longing and the wanting. And, you know, and I felt that Islands on the stream was about the new love, that we're excited, we're together.

Speaker 17 This is fucking, you know, how you and your love, you've been in love.

Speaker 36 You know how that early song where you're like, everything's fucking, where everything's like, everything's fucking

Speaker 62 perfect.

Speaker 164 You're blind.

Speaker 17 Yeah. Like, you know that saying, like, how do you know if someone's in love

Speaker 17 if they sound sane, then they're not in love? You know what I mean? And I just think this song really fucking represents that.

Speaker 17 And then I thought that Elvis was a little bit more of a mature look at a relationship that's already a wonder that's not the guy singing it the guy singing it like his perspective i guess i could say it was a little bit more i tried to take you on a journey but

Speaker 14 are you you doing this on the fly which i know you can do or did you really have these precise no these these i these i these i i preconceived okay yeah yeah a little bit yeah yeah uh but anyway those those are my three

Speaker 62 and i understand that they're quite popular yeah but you know it's not a bad thing they're popular for a reason i guess yeah they spoke i mean they're love songs I mean, you know, it's like, it's a whole different category.

Speaker 23 Love songs are really, really funny, you know, because

Speaker 23 sometimes the most popular love songs are the best love songs after a while because

Speaker 23 they were so simple

Speaker 23 that

Speaker 23 the people that wrote them didn't have to overcomplicate them. So the simplicity.
I mean, my favorite music is pretty simple music. And

Speaker 23 like, what gets more simple than like, you know, boy meets girl or whatever, you know?

Speaker 62 It's like, why clog it up?

Speaker 23 So some of those songs really are the best songs ever, you know?

Speaker 45 Yeah.

Speaker 6 How many songs, how many songs would you say you have, like, you set out to write a love song, have you?

Speaker 23 I wrote personal songs to people about love and about my relationship with them, but I never titled them,

Speaker 23 you know, I never titled them like, Okay, this is my big, my love song.

Speaker 23 Well, just because I never thought I could have the

Speaker 23 gumption

Speaker 23 to really, you know,

Speaker 86 to really do that.

Speaker 23 You know what I mean? It's like, love songs in the business are

Speaker 23 an easy go-to. And most people laugh at them unless they make it big.
Unless they're in love. What? Unless they're in love.
Yeah, and unless it's 1965.

Speaker 96 Can I throw out a song that I think writing a love song in the business means that

Speaker 14 you want people to a quintessential love song? I think it's effective but basic, and I think it hits on the notes that you're saying. I want to see if people would disagree or agree with me.

Speaker 14 This one hits me.

Speaker 71 Wings, silly love songs.

Speaker 84 Yeah, Yeah, great song.

Speaker 23 Silence.

Speaker 20 I love that song.

Speaker 6 But I think it was, you know why it was written?

Speaker 151 It's not really a song.

Speaker 6 He was trolling Lennon.

Speaker 55 He was trolling Lennon.

Speaker 88 Most of his songs were written.

Speaker 14 Yeah, but actually, it's a really beautiful song.

Speaker 6 Yeah, but yeah, because Lennon was like, all you're doing is writing love songs, Paul.

Speaker 6 And he was like, oh, what's the world needs love songs, he said. And he wrote that just to like a middle finger to Lennon.

Speaker 70 And look, he got a hit out.

Speaker 113 But it's great. And Lennon's dead.

Speaker 32 Yeah, where's Lennon now?

Speaker 104 All right, Dave.

Speaker 6 So you.

Speaker 104 I rest.

Speaker 120 I rest.

Speaker 88 I mean, you know, what am I going to do?

Speaker 43 Thank you. Thank you.
Thank you, sir.

Speaker 76 Okay.

Speaker 23 All right. So

Speaker 23 maybe minds aren't heavy hitters and someone's really old.

Speaker 14 So.

Speaker 6 Well, just all the artists you chose, only one is still on this planet, right?

Speaker 17 Dolly Pardon.

Speaker 23 That Elf is just coming back. That's 2025.
I'm ready.

Speaker 82 You hear it?

Speaker 85 Oh, I'm ready. You hear that?

Speaker 23 He's coming back 2025. I just read it on here.
I'll take it.

Speaker 17 How old will he be?

Speaker 86 like that?

Speaker 23 They fucking did it.

Speaker 130 They cry at you.

Speaker 23 I'm not fucking kidding.

Speaker 92 Seriously, how much was that?

Speaker 23 I'm not fucking kidding.

Speaker 23 I read it last night. It's fucking on CNN.
And it's like, Elvis is coming back 2025. In that world.

Speaker 62 Yeah. And he's

Speaker 23 with the power of Satan.

Speaker 6 If he was Elvis' album full of Elvis Satan songs,

Speaker 135 don't tease me.

Speaker 23 So I'm going to go.

Speaker 29 Go.

Speaker 23 Mr. Judge.

Speaker 23 All right. My first one's going to be At Last by Eda James, which was a hit in the 60s, but it was not a mega hit.

Speaker 43 I think it was a Stacks Records.

Speaker 23 Stacks.

Speaker 51 Yeah.

Speaker 52 One of those. Wow,

Speaker 6 nobody has ever come to the table and said it was on a certain label.

Speaker 30 I think it was... That's the wrong label.
I think it was on Argo.

Speaker 23 Okay, Argo.

Speaker 94 Sorry.

Speaker 126 For the first time where it's ever happened, that's a real big fucking muscle ball hanging out there.

Speaker 23 I thought what she was hanging around. I forget what label but

Speaker 141 they move tumbled your sadly i thought that was some inside baseball shit right there bringing the label

Speaker 121 you're the only person who could be here that could have done that

Speaker 1 oh what a foil what a foil

Speaker 23 we were all like wow so but this song kills me it's just

Speaker 23 it's a young girl but not too young you know

Speaker 23 it just strikes me as

Speaker 23 maybe about you know

Speaker 23 no maybe about 26 27 Not Cherry Lee Lewis.

Speaker 23 Saying, basically, at last,

Speaker 23 I waited a long time, and it sounds like to me, like, she's been through some shit, and that finally the right person has come along.

Speaker 116 And

Speaker 23 it's beautifully orchestrated. It's got absolute gorgeous sound.
You know, it's kind of melancholy. And just here a couple of lines from the songs.
It's like,

Speaker 23 I found a dream that I could speak to,

Speaker 23 a dream that I could call my own.

Speaker 23 I found a thrill to press my cheek to,

Speaker 23 a thrill that I have never known.

Speaker 23 Finally, she found someone that she could talk about her dreams with, and they don't laugh at her. You know, someone to really communicate.

Speaker 17 Sounds a lot like the one there with you, actually.

Speaker 23 Yes, but you know, it's downplayed.

Speaker 23 It's not over baked. This is like,

Speaker 51 At last,

Speaker 58 my love has come along.

Speaker 147 You can sing these things. That's not fair.

Speaker 58 How is that bullshit?

Speaker 58 Mine.

Speaker 19 The guy's tripping honey all over the table.

Speaker 1 That's just the fucking thing.

Speaker 64 Mine and David Loneliness.

Speaker 64 And a life is life.

Speaker 23 Give me the Satchibo version of it.

Speaker 23 Anyway, it's underplayed, which is why I like it. And it's a little bit of a...

Speaker 52 The song's overplayed, though. What?

Speaker 17 The song is overplayed.

Speaker 23 I don't think the song is overplayed.

Speaker 62 No, what do you mean? Have you been to a wedding?

Speaker 85 Have you been to a wedding in the past like a year?

Speaker 23 No, no, no, no, no, no. Well, I mean, underplayed, like, her delivery is underplayed.

Speaker 55 Oh, yeah. No, no.

Speaker 23 Of course, it's played.

Speaker 33 It's played.

Speaker 14 When I'd sing it, I was thinking tables number one and two to the thumbnail.

Speaker 55 It seems like

Speaker 23 a love song that

Speaker 23 rather than

Speaker 23 screaming,

Speaker 23 the thing that is interesting is about what it brings to her. She's not really celebrating who's doing it.

Speaker 23 She's celebrating the fact that she got lucky enough to have it happen. So that's what I like it.
And it's kind of a melancholy melody because I like that too.

Speaker 72 So

Speaker 6 did you like it from the get-go?

Speaker 61 Yeah, I mean, for the first time you heard it.

Speaker 23 I was like, what the hell is this? You know?

Speaker 6 And it would be unusual for, like, you know, because

Speaker 6 I see you, you know, with your...

Speaker 6 with your rock and roll going on back.

Speaker 59 With your rock and roll, with your fucking swinging medallions and your Van Dyke beard.

Speaker 6 So would you, like, would you let your friends know you like this song or would this be like a like a secret like affection for this song?

Speaker 23 Maybe if I was 15, I wouldn't let them know, but yeah, after I was 21, I got over this.

Speaker 128 I like what I like.

Speaker 60 It's the first time Tim's hearing it.

Speaker 88 It's a great song.

Speaker 58 I think it's just beautiful.

Speaker 46 Yeah, I agree.

Speaker 34 A little over plate would be my thing.

Speaker 23 Well, you go to a lot of weddings, I guess, huh?

Speaker 55 You know, I love weddings. I love love.

Speaker 19 I love love.

Speaker 23 You're fucking insane.

Speaker 23 Weddings aren't about love. Let me see.

Speaker 34 Weddings are about delusion.

Speaker 59 I love delusion, too.

Speaker 120 If not for delusion.

Speaker 23 Okay. Next, really, really obvious.

Speaker 23 Righteous Brothers Unchained Melody.

Speaker 148 Also, probably, you know, overplayed or whatever.

Speaker 17 I feel ghosts kind of ruined that movie to be taken seriously, but that's just me.

Speaker 23 But, I mean, we're talking songs. We're talking movies here.

Speaker 17 Talking songs?

Speaker 148 Yeah, so fuck you and the movie thing.

Speaker 162 You can say that.

Speaker 23 I don't know if the judges are still better than Islands in the Stream.

Speaker 17 It is not better than Islands.

Speaker 34 Islands, come on.

Speaker 17 It's one of the fucking greatest songs of all time.

Speaker 6 Correct me if I'm wrong, The Righteous Brothers sung that song about all the dead musicians.

Speaker 58 Oh,

Speaker 23 no, who did that, Tim?

Speaker 116 You know, like Rock and Roll Heaven.

Speaker 92 Yeah, did they sing Rock and Roll Heaven?

Speaker 79 There's a Rock and Roll Heaven.

Speaker 62 Yeah.

Speaker 30 I know that song, but I don't know who sang it because nobody fucking picked it.

Speaker 23 See, people that did Abraham, Martin, and John.

Speaker 6 All right, so the Righteous Brothers, Unchained Metal.

Speaker 23 Not Unchained Unchained Melody.

Speaker 126 Okay.

Speaker 84 As far as

Speaker 17 it is a safe choice. Not a lot of risk going on so far.

Speaker 60 What, like, you were risking it?

Speaker 84 Yeah.

Speaker 51 I fucking dropped Islands in the Stream on these people.

Speaker 23 Islands in the Stream was a mega-selling hit.

Speaker 17 We got to get our story straight on the Island Stream.

Speaker 34 Is it small sea bullshit or is it a great song?

Speaker 59 He said bullshit. Yeah.

Speaker 62 Right.

Speaker 52 So it wasn't a safe choice.

Speaker 23 I think Unchained Melody is an absolutely fantastic song. And there's a reason why it's it's been overplayed is because the same reason other people play

Speaker 23 love stories which are love songs which is kind of hard in this category for us to argue over what's been overplayed because

Speaker 23 you know i just gave the reason they're all kind of over right

Speaker 23 but can you i mean i could have gone deep underground but then i thought you were going to go deep underground um yeah i still can yeah no you can't use

Speaker 99 songs

Speaker 17 yeah can you think of that song without thinking about the clay and the ghost and everything? No.

Speaker 104 No.

Speaker 23 How many times did you see ghosts?

Speaker 113 Only have to see it once and sear it into your brain.

Speaker 116 Okay.

Speaker 23 All right. I concede.

Speaker 106 No, yo, no, no. What's up?

Speaker 136 You can't concede yourself.

Speaker 23 You guys can't get your perception. I'm sorry, Chancellor.

Speaker 23 Of music and video. If you can't get that straightened yourselves, there's no reason for me to fight.

Speaker 90 Yeah, but

Speaker 90 are we talking about music?

Speaker 36 First time.

Speaker 47 First time it's never happened at this point.

Speaker 131 This is Roberto Duran.

Speaker 51 I know he's. No Moss.

Speaker 59 No Moss. You

Speaker 21 brought up drug abuse in mine.

Speaker 90 I can't bring up a fucking movie?

Speaker 127 Yeah.

Speaker 98 This seems outrageous.

Speaker 124 Yeah, that was.

Speaker 121 The guy's besmirching Elvis' legendary career.

Speaker 23 I was hoping you'd forget about it.

Speaker 55 All right. Still.

Speaker 23 Taking,

Speaker 35 if we can.

Speaker 23 Take Unchelling Chain Melody out of the hands of fucking Patrick Swayze and Woobie Goldberg.

Speaker 23 See, even I lost my,

Speaker 23 you killed me.

Speaker 51 No, come on.

Speaker 128 That's the point.

Speaker 14 It's undoubtedly one of the all-time greatest love songs.

Speaker 99 Oh, look who showed up the fucking party.

Speaker 23 It's almost, there's almost, I mean, yeah, you see the level of it.

Speaker 68 He saw Dave going down.

Speaker 64 He was just like, I got to do something.

Speaker 34 He's got smelling salt under Dave's nose.

Speaker 14 That resonates with people young and old.

Speaker 62 Yeah.

Speaker 31 There's no one on the

Speaker 83 word.

Speaker 14 Yeah, resonates with people young and old.

Speaker 52 Resonates.

Speaker 14 You know, it's, I mean, what can you do? It comes on, you know it immediately.

Speaker 23 And the words are like amazing. I mean, like, they're, they're.

Speaker 14 Both of these songs you can do

Speaker 14 within the first few seconds.

Speaker 23 He's singing from a point of pain and loneliness.

Speaker 14 It's a popular song, but songs are popular for a reason. They appeal to the boy.

Speaker 88 There is nothing, no strike against.

Speaker 69 Darling. Especially with love songs.

Speaker 116 He can tell you that.

Speaker 23 Darling, I've hungered for your touch

Speaker 23 for such a long, lonely time. Schmaltz.
Time goes by so slowly. No, no, not smalts.

Speaker 96 Schmaltz.

Speaker 23 Schmaltz compared to the wonder.

Speaker 136 The wonder.

Speaker 128 That's not smalts.

Speaker 17 That sounds amazing to me.

Speaker 140 That's epic.

Speaker 6 We all describe that as epic.

Speaker 23 Epic is schmaltz.

Speaker 14 Dave, I will say the first time I heard that was before I saw Ghost.

Speaker 46 And the way I felt about it.

Speaker 14 The first time I heard it was I was taken aback.

Speaker 23 Yeah, I mean, the words on Francis, like, he died.

Speaker 30 And you thought that would be great in a movie.

Speaker 23 A a long lonely time time goes by so slowly and time can do so much true. It can erase everything.
Are you still mine?

Speaker 45 Yeah.

Speaker 23 I would argue that. And then he's just like

Speaker 23 He's just like orgasms in this giant, you know.

Speaker 17 I would argue that nobody listens through this song when it comes on the radio. Everybody 100% turns changes that song off.
Everybody?

Speaker 43 I think so.

Speaker 133 I'm making that opinion.

Speaker 55 That's a bald statement.

Speaker 61 That's a bald statement.

Speaker 21 Everybody. I think everybody.

Speaker 105 Man, woman, or child.

Speaker 121 See, the radio actor Swayze.

Speaker 21 Nobody saved the actor Swayze in a sub animal and unchained melody sound.

Speaker 17 Everybody likes it for like the 10 seconds they hear before they're like, all right, what's on another channel? Because everybody's heard it too much.

Speaker 92 What about this?

Speaker 14 What about the damage it did when it was released, though? It probably took over the world.

Speaker 60 Sorry, sorry.

Speaker 14 It did.

Speaker 14 People turn it off now, but when it first came out, it's probably the only song that existed.

Speaker 88 What year did it come out? I Tim.

Speaker 17 65.

Speaker 23 65.

Speaker 30 It was a B side, too.

Speaker 127 Really? Oh,

Speaker 14 that's interesting.

Speaker 14 Because look at the wheels on it when it wasn't even intended to be that.

Speaker 73 That speaks to how good a thing is.

Speaker 23 I mean, I'll do this for you all night long.

Speaker 72 What are the chart on?

Speaker 30 In the 60s?

Speaker 30 60s, it was number four in the U.S.

Speaker 82 That's pretty good. UK.

Speaker 30 UK-14.

Speaker 82 That's pretty good.

Speaker 17 Can't argue with that.

Speaker 16 All right. Okay.

Speaker 6 What's your last song, Dave?

Speaker 23 Well, I mean, I may have to change my game just because

Speaker 23 I could say Black Sabbath, Sweet Leaf, because he loves weed.

Speaker 37 he's in love with weed.

Speaker 63 You very well could.

Speaker 124 I'm sure you could argue that. He's in love with weed.

Speaker 23 It's a weed's love song to weed, you know. But no, I'm going to go with, I'm going to go with my first choices because I really think they're great love songs.

Speaker 23 This is by Grace Kelly and Bing Crosby, and it's called True Love. Yeah.
And it's about the simplest love song I can possibly imagine.

Speaker 58 It was in the movie

Speaker 23 High Society.

Speaker 60 And it's just an absolute

Speaker 23 tiny little diamond of a song.

Speaker 76 I think.

Speaker 23 Innocent almost, and it's ridiculously innocent.

Speaker 134 Let me play.

Speaker 6 Were there charts back then to have with it that chart?

Speaker 30 I was never pressed as a single.

Speaker 17 Okay. What's the name of it?

Speaker 30 True Love by Ben Crosby and Grace Kelly.

Speaker 25 I, for one, love accordion-driven love songs.

Speaker 58 Yeah.

Speaker 138 Biggest name with the accordion.

Speaker 6 Ben Crosby.

Speaker 6 How much older was he than this?

Speaker 62 He looked plenty of

Speaker 6 strange pairing.

Speaker 23 You know, considering some of the movies from back then, it's like, you know, 30 years on a woman was not a big deal back then in the movies.

Speaker 25 Or today.

Speaker 23 The fact of the matter is that the world has been like this all along.

Speaker 23 Only now are people giving shit about it.

Speaker 6 Where did it come to you on your radar? Like,

Speaker 6 where did you first hear it?

Speaker 23 I guess the only place I could hear it was by watching the movie.

Speaker 88 I'm watching that movie.

Speaker 55 It hit you, and it resonates with me.

Speaker 23 It hit me as a song.

Speaker 6 How old were you when you saw the movie?

Speaker 23 Five or six. Five or six.

Speaker 25 You kept a lot of your musical tastes quiet when you were a kid, huh?

Speaker 23 Well, when you're a teenager, you have to. You get the shit beat.

Speaker 135 Yeah.

Speaker 45 You can't run around saying that.

Speaker 23 Remember when you're a teenager, all that stuff matters.

Speaker 6 I got beat up for not having my kiss shirt on.

Speaker 28 Yeah, right. All the time.

Speaker 23 When punk rock happened, I had to put my Cat Stevens records in the back of the pile. It was like, well, only anybody knows.
it's like hide to Jethro Tull

Speaker 6 why flutes are cool

Speaker 23 you know and like I said after I was 20 I was like fuck you don't like it and fuck all of you

Speaker 149 so before you weigh in yeah on who won that match no but that was it there was no any color punch I think that's I couldn't even find the song so yeah it was hard for me to you have to go to YouTube oh you know it's only two minutes long yeah

Speaker 6 I had uh I don't know if if the if you were looking for something a little bit more off the beaten path or maybe a little bit more like anti-establishment. Sure.

Speaker 6 I was hoping that one of these guys, especially, you know,

Speaker 6 a little bit shaded, would bring up maybe an anti-love song.

Speaker 23 Well, yeah, I mean, I took it for, you know, I took it at face value, a love song.

Speaker 23 One of my alts, if somebody would have said it, like, what is your alt?

Speaker 17 Was Fairy Tale of New York.

Speaker 16 What is that? By the Pogues.

Speaker 113 By the Pogues.

Speaker 61 Yeah, that was one of my alts.

Speaker 23 Oh, that's a good song. Yeah, that's a great song.

Speaker 17 That's Salt, that's about a junkie NGL

Speaker 17 singing about it.

Speaker 23 That's a whole nother thing. You were on the same page as I was.
Like, you said love songs.

Speaker 17 Yeah, classic love songs, right?

Speaker 23 Because it's not the greatest category. And it's tough because it's got a lot of weird stuff with it.

Speaker 43 Yeah,

Speaker 6 I had my own little list of like what was like, you know, I'm not in love by 10 Cease Sales. Right, sure.

Speaker 58 I thought of that, too.

Speaker 92 That would have been.

Speaker 14 When you're talking golden 70s, yeah, Rock, that's my shit, right?

Speaker 105 Right?

Speaker 6 Because it's like the anti-love song. Right.

Speaker 23 And well, I mean, it's the anti-love, but it's a love song because he's just, he refuses to, he just keeps denying that he's

Speaker 116 trying to convince himself he's not in love.

Speaker 6 Oh, really? I thought he was telling her is like, you know, like, you may have been in love with me, but I'm just

Speaker 30 he was trying to convince himself he's not in love, but he actually is.

Speaker 116 Like, you know what?

Speaker 23 R.E.M., I Am Superman, that version of I Am Superman. Yeah.
That's a great love song.

Speaker 14 We heard one of my favorite love songs of all time we alive the other day.

Speaker 135 We went to see the temptations thing.

Speaker 14 Wish it would rain by the temptation.

Speaker 59 I wish it would rain.

Speaker 79 Yeah.

Speaker 82 That fucking killed, too.

Speaker 6 And I thought Love the One You're You're With would be interesting too, by Stevens.

Speaker 23 Great song.

Speaker 6 Because, you know, it was, you're professing. Fuck who you can.

Or love who you can.

Speaker 6 Not so crazy. You know.

Speaker 6 Come on.

Speaker 19 It's a family program.

Speaker 23 I mean, it's like there's a difference between having affairs with a lot of people and just like banging people.

Speaker 6 Yeah, but I thought it would have been interesting to have these guys bring something a little bit more anti-establishment, which I thought was going to happen.

Speaker 84 We're fucking romantics, bro.

Speaker 62 Why didn't you tell us this?

Speaker 118 Bring love songs.

Speaker 101 And And then they brought love songs.

Speaker 58 Wow.

Speaker 17 So, so you feel like you might have your work cut out for you here.

Speaker 127 I don't think he does.

Speaker 23 I think he's just bored out of his mind because

Speaker 51 it was.

Speaker 30 They were both pretty tight. It was really close.
But, like, I fucking hate that Islands in the streams song.

Speaker 47 Oh, no.

Speaker 30 It's, and I'm not keen. Like, the Elvis, like, I, you had a great argument for Elvis.

Speaker 82 Yeah.

Speaker 43 I can totally get it.

Speaker 30 Don't love it as much as Dave's weakest song. Sam Cook was great, but the Islands in the Streams look something.

Speaker 6 You're not into Dolly?

Speaker 30 I like Dolly Part.

Speaker 43 She's great.

Speaker 30 I just think this song is just

Speaker 129 bullshit.

Speaker 59 It ain't no Jolene.

Speaker 124 It ain't no Jolene. And that's like

Speaker 6 the record circle. It could be one song that derails you.

Speaker 62 That's what I'm here for. Yeah, it is.

Speaker 79 But it was.

Speaker 55 That's what I'm here for.

Speaker 30 Yeah, I'm sorry.

Speaker 97 Hey, man.

Speaker 6 So Dave gets, Dave, and Team Sal get the point?

Speaker 30 Or Team Chancellor.

Speaker 61 Yeah.

Speaker 23 I find no joy in this victory.

Speaker 135 Also, I'd like to say

Speaker 23 that there was a song written in the last five years, which I think belongs at the top, and that's a song called Stay that was recorded by Rihanna. Oh, I don't know.
Which is the most simply...

Speaker 23 Have you ever heard that song? Yeah. It's the most simply beautiful.
Yeah. I mean, so weird to be on the radio because there's a simple piano ballad and all over dance radio.
It was like ridiculous.

Speaker 23 There's no drums in the song.

Speaker 23 Daniel. It's written by some Brit,

Speaker 23 some British guy and some, you know, Nashville guy.

Speaker 152 Yeah, I hope that's it.

Speaker 6 Did you find it unusual, Tim, that they chose songs that were decades and decades old?

Speaker 30 Not really, because love songs are kind of timeless.

Speaker 25 One of Dave songs was almost a century old.

Speaker 30 Because, I mean, it was Glenn Miller wrote that true love song. in the 40s.
Yeah.

Speaker 109 Wow.

Speaker 128 Yeah, but I think

Speaker 6 I thought it was interesting, though, that the songs, like there was nothing other than that.

Speaker 61 The most recent song was that Dolly Parton song.

Speaker 20 Yeah. That was still

Speaker 134 a 40-year-old song, if not more.

Speaker 6 So now we're into novelty songs, and it's Sal vs. Pry.

Speaker 25 I feel like I won't be taken as seriously as the little songs.

Speaker 136 I think it's chance.

Speaker 14 I didn't realize I was going to defend these, but I can defend them.

Speaker 71 Sure.

Speaker 14 I actually like them, but it's weird.

Speaker 14 I had to be like, what are my favorite novels? It didn't come to me right away. I like had to really search.

Speaker 14 And a lot of like, let me be honest, I picked three out of the eight novelty songs I could come up with.

Speaker 6 But you're also, your hands are tied because Bri got to go first. So you couldn't pick any of his songs.

Speaker 6 And I feel he

Speaker 6 stole the greatest novelty song

Speaker 47 off the song. Stole it.

Speaker 105 I know he's a bad boy.

Speaker 6 He tried to take it off the board by going first,

Speaker 6 which I think the record store clerk should take into consideration that

Speaker 30 don't give him credit for

Speaker 75 that song.

Speaker 118 Or that Walter's like, hey, what are your songs?

Speaker 25 And I send them to him. And he's like, and Sal sent them to him today.

Speaker 6 It's tough, though, that, like, he's fighting with one hand tied behind his back when the best song has been taken already. In your opinion.
In my opinion. Yeah.

Speaker 84 Please. You can't say that.
You already set him up to have a lot of money.

Speaker 6 I think it's the greatest novelty song.

Speaker 17 Well, you are not the record song.

Speaker 19 Let the record be shot. I don't.

Speaker 125 Everything is just falling off the rails.

Speaker 23 It's just like this whole thing is crashing.

Speaker 55 Wow.

Speaker 6 All right, bro. You want to go first?

Speaker 59 Sure.

Speaker 25 I'm not going to go in the order that I sent him to you.

Speaker 14 No, now he's going to save that one for dead last.

Speaker 55 He's got so many notes.

Speaker 104 Jesus. Yeah,

Speaker 25 this is just like smart and shit to look over. Oh, so my first one is Grandma Got Run Over by a Reindeer.

Speaker 45 Yeah.

Speaker 6 And you say, oof.

Speaker 142 I don't even know if it's a novelty song.

Speaker 61 What is it? Oh, it definitely is. Really?

Speaker 59 Does that happen every day?

Speaker 55 Grandmother's getting run over by a reindeer.

Speaker 14 He said Christmas.

Speaker 34 Yeah, I think I was. I never said Christmas.

Speaker 150 Well,

Speaker 14 I saw that he did a Christmas song.

Speaker 166 So you thought you had to do a Christmas song?

Speaker 14 Well, no, I just, I was really racking my brain to think of what would be a novelty, and I didn't know I would have to defend it.

Speaker 14 So I was trying to just think of funny selections because I thought we'd be all re-ripping them apart.

Speaker 14 That's why I, at the last minute, they let me change that Yankee song because that's me, the steamy pilot.

Speaker 6 What was the song that you wore against Bring Game Table?

Speaker 19 What was it called?

Speaker 14 How you doing, Yanks?

Speaker 6 We couldn't even find it when he sent me over the

Speaker 128 list.

Speaker 14 Again, I just didn't know what the context of the choices were.

Speaker 25 My notes on that were 4,000 views in six years. That says something.

Speaker 14 Well, you even got to... I didn't even know...

Speaker 14 No one, I didn't know I was supposed to look up his songs.

Speaker 52 I could do it on fly.

Speaker 6 Yeah, I know you.

Speaker 105 This guy is a pro.

Speaker 37 Don't though.

Speaker 58 Somebody's got to.

Speaker 25 He has a weekly podcast where he does exactly this. He argues and debates over not novelty songs.

Speaker 60 Sure. He's good at it.

Speaker 6 Well, I would be like, I would say, though, that right off the bat, though, I don't even consider Grandma got run over by. But I'll tell you why it is.

Speaker 116 Why not? Why won't you?

Speaker 6 Because I feel it's a Christmas song first.

Speaker 30 But a Christmas novelty.

Speaker 55 It can't be.

Speaker 6 No, I think almost all Christmas songs are novelty songs, except if they're about to be aware of it.

Speaker 14 Well, you know why it's fair? I looked at his and I took a cue from what he did, and so I chose it.

Speaker 85 So it's we have a one-to-one Christmas song ratio, at least. Okay.

Speaker 6 I was trying to.

Speaker 6 Oh, you still kept the Christmas song? They weren't one.

Speaker 55 They actually won a couple of times.

Speaker 6 Even if they win two, then you got the curator's on as well in his way to it.

Speaker 58 Yeah, but people put it on the chair, isn't it?

Speaker 58 And a controller.

Speaker 62 We all think controllers

Speaker 57 We're fighting video corrections, officer.

Speaker 84 I mean, a great song.

Speaker 118 We don't have a Tell him Steve Dave prison, do we?

Speaker 55 No, no.

Speaker 21 There's no crime in Telling Steve Dave Town Prison.

Speaker 25 Novelty song,

Speaker 25 comic takes on current events, cultural facts, or holidays. Well known by most of the populace.
They endure year after year and are culturally relevant.

Speaker 84 That's sort of. He's came here with definition.

Speaker 98 The definition of a novelty song.

Speaker 88 He saw you coming from a mile away.

Speaker 51 I'll note on the first session.

Speaker 6 Let's get down to the record circle.

Speaker 167 Christian.

Speaker 122 Now you're talking to Louis.

Speaker 1 I'm not looking at him.

Speaker 95 He's talking to you.

Speaker 58 That's who I'm talking down to.

Speaker 14 I would argue in your favor that there are traditional Christmas songs, and this definitely bucks a trend. It's campy, it's immediately supposed to not be taken seriously.

Speaker 14 And so on the spectrum of Christmas songs, it's novelty.

Speaker 23 There's a lot of Christmas songs that are novelties. I mean, they just fall into that category because I think they just ran out of hymns after a while and just started banging it.

Speaker 16 Right.

Speaker 116 Rocking around.

Speaker 6 thing you know i feel though that like

Speaker 6 is not a true novelty song but again i'm not weighing in though no right

Speaker 19 do you have an alt and we can remove the christmas songs from oh no that oh yeah he put it into play okay it's it's on the record okay it can't be removed

Speaker 60 uh so Grandma got run over by a reindeer very quickly.

Speaker 25 A grandmother is celebrating a Christmas Eve party with her family. She's off her medication.
She's drunk on eggnogs. She stumbles outside And

Speaker 25 the family goes out there and finds her with hoof marks on her head, and she's deceased.

Speaker 6 It's just not even funny in the least, though.

Speaker 100 What are you talking about?

Speaker 9 It's so funny.

Speaker 29 It's funny. It's

Speaker 84 like a kid.

Speaker 86 It was like the greatest song ever to come on the radio.

Speaker 6 I mean, if you loved your grandma,

Speaker 6 you could not enjoy this fucking song.

Speaker 85 What?

Speaker 59 Something that was invented in a trailer party.

Speaker 56 It didn't look like hokey, but

Speaker 59 it's novelty song.

Speaker 84 So having hokey be a strike.

Speaker 64 It is horrible.

Speaker 118 Right, yeah.

Speaker 25 Like, by definition, it should be hokey.

Speaker 116 Yeah, I mean, right? Yeah.

Speaker 6 It's just frude.

Speaker 6 It's not, it's just not, it's anti-talk.

Speaker 55 I will say.

Speaker 33 Grandma got fucked by a random.

Speaker 124 Look what you're doing.

Speaker 6 You're making the judge defend the song.

Speaker 47 Is that what you're trying to do?

Speaker 14 I will say the actual musical arrangement and the recording itself does sound cheap, almost like a karaoke version of a song.

Speaker 116 Yeah, it does. Yeah.

Speaker 17 I would argue that's part of its strength.

Speaker 58 Like that voice, that guitar.

Speaker 1 I also agree with that.

Speaker 59 Who's signed up?

Speaker 6 Novelty. Ray Stevens?

Speaker 89 No, no.

Speaker 25 It's this guy.

Speaker 55 I believe it.

Speaker 86 Ray Stevens was a lot more classic.

Speaker 25 Elmo Shropshire and Patsy Trigg.

Speaker 6 Wait a minute. So you, wait a minute.
Dave said the guy who wrote the streak, Ray Stevens, has more class than the guy who wrote the streak.

Speaker 47 He wrote Everything.

Speaker 108 He wrote everything.

Speaker 116 Ray Stevens is a real guy.

Speaker 84 Yeah, Everything is Beautiful is a great song.

Speaker 69 Really?

Speaker 62 I thought it was a great

Speaker 134 message, but it's a great song.

Speaker 30 For an AM pop song, it's a pretty great song.

Speaker 128 Sing it, children.

Speaker 116 Okay. Well, that part sucks.

Speaker 84 Does he try to bully you like this often when you do it?

Speaker 28 Yeah, all right.

Speaker 25 It was popular enough to be featured in The Simpsons,

Speaker 25 their fourth season when radio presenter Marty accidentally plays it for Valentine's Day.

Speaker 14 What hasn't been played in The Simpsons?

Speaker 25 Hold on a second. My pages got messed up here.

Speaker 18 What did it chart?

Speaker 6 That couldn't have charted.

Speaker 30 I don't see that it did chart.

Speaker 6 Shit couldn't chart.

Speaker 9 What? That's not charted.

Speaker 84 87. I'm sorry.

Speaker 37 87, man.

Speaker 73 He's having a moral pattern.

Speaker 55 That's higher than one of my other ones.

Speaker 142 I hate that.

Speaker 46 Somebody came and took a clip.

Speaker 47 Yeah,

Speaker 147 it's like his islands in the street.

Speaker 6 I know there's other songs that were left off the list that are more deserving to be than Grandma Got Went Over by a Reindeer. It's not personal.

Speaker 32 We'll see if it kind of sounds perfect. If the record clerk feels that way.

Speaker 25 I'm sorry, it wasn't on The Simpsons, but it did have over 20 parodies, covers, television adaptions since the song was written.

Speaker 25 The author of the song, or composer of the song, I guess you would say, claims it's a beloved holiday movie.

Speaker 25 The video of the song was a holiday staple on MTV for many seasons, has been incorporated into Talking Toys, a musical greeting card, and he also says his royalties, Dave, I know I'm speaking your language, four to five times what they were 20 years ago.

Speaker 25 A lot of younger people say it's not even Christmas until they hear it.

Speaker 6 Would you ever consider doing an all-Christmas album, Dave?

Speaker 23 I did a Christmas song once a long time ago for

Speaker 6 Cool Beans.

Speaker 34 What was the name of the song?

Speaker 113 It was called

Speaker 32 Galactus.

Speaker 23 Yeah, we had Galactus, and it was about Galactus.

Speaker 6 What was the title of the song?

Speaker 62 I thought I had Christmas with Galactus.

Speaker 111 Yeah, Christmas with Galileo. Oh, I don't have that.

Speaker 89 Was that on iTunes?

Speaker 47 No. No, no.

Speaker 30 I had a cassette label. way, way back, and we did a compilation, and that was one of the songs out there.

Speaker 30 It was before Monster Magnet. Oh, okay.

Speaker 148 We would sell the cassettes

Speaker 23 in stores, you know, well, like two stores.

Speaker 113 Yeah, Jackson and the comic book store.

Speaker 23 Yeah, yeah, and we just wrote this thing called Christmas with Galactus and actually has a guest star. Galactus comes in.
It's like, you beauty human insect.

Speaker 90 And he's screaming at

Speaker 89 that for a song.

Speaker 55 You know, it was

Speaker 23 kind of cross between

Speaker 23 what's the great Gantre Lawrence or Ruby Spears

Speaker 23 Christmas special with the

Speaker 23 animated effects?

Speaker 83 Rudolph the Rednose Rankin and Bro, Rankin and Bass?

Speaker 84 Yeah, it was Rankin and the Bass.

Speaker 23 It's like a Rankin and Bass version of Galactus and Christmas.

Speaker 164 Oh, you got a ball?

Speaker 19 No, but

Speaker 58 it was a concept. You still have a copy? That was the concept.
Somewhere.

Speaker 51 Oh, I love to hear it.

Speaker 20 Yeah, I want to go.

Speaker 116 I saw Mommy Kissing Satan's Claws.

Speaker 30 What? I saw Mommy Kissing Satan's Claws on that.

Speaker 167 You guys recorded that too?

Speaker 30 That was.

Speaker 30 Tim did that one. Yeah, it was the band before Monster Magnet.

Speaker 61 Whoa.

Speaker 30 It was really noisy.

Speaker 6 So you guys like novelty and Christmas songs.

Speaker 23 Oh, so I wasn't sure.

Speaker 58 And went and over them basis.

Speaker 37 Judge

Speaker 82 of non-profitability. Yeah.

Speaker 58 Remember that?

Speaker 55 Mom, Dad, Satan, and me.

Speaker 55 I saw mommy kissing Satan.

Speaker 17 I don't know if I'm comfortable losing with these two being this close.

Speaker 86 I feel like there might have been like a little.

Speaker 147 I don't want to say nepotism.

Speaker 58 I mean, look, I'm surprised you hadn't called that earlier.

Speaker 30 I'm, you know, you want to bring it to a vote. I'm.

Speaker 51 But he has, as a judge, do you...

Speaker 106 We didn't talk about it.

Speaker 103 It's not like we just throw him out of the waters.

Speaker 55 That's all.

Speaker 30 You know, I mean,

Speaker 92 with everything Tim has to lose if it was found out he was throwing this,

Speaker 127 the respect of the Patreon audience.

Speaker 6 Yeah, he has too much to lose to have his judgments called into question.

Speaker 92 Okay, all right.

Speaker 6 That's a low blow.

Speaker 55 Although you did muddy the water, so it is a low blow.

Speaker 149 It didn't muddy the water so well.

Speaker 134 That's all I'm trying to do, bro.

Speaker 49 That's another little asterisk.

Speaker 53 I'm okay.

Speaker 85 That's it. I'm good.

Speaker 147 All right, let's continue.

Speaker 123 Let's stop the song.

Speaker 134 Number two, Bri.

Speaker 25 Well, I'm going to say the only downer about this grandma got run over by a reindeer was when they did the video, Grandma Survives.

Speaker 20 Yeah, she comes back down.

Speaker 6 She pops out of it.

Speaker 84 That's the only thing I liked about it.

Speaker 116 Really? Yeah.

Speaker 113 Oh, man.

Speaker 25 Once I thought she was dead for good.

Speaker 30 If she came back as a zombie, it would have been good.

Speaker 6 It's too dark to be a Christmas song, in my opinion, because kids don't need that injection of darkness well you look at like when it came out it was like

Speaker 23 you know i mean obviously you know we're talking about american culture you know american culture hit um

Speaker 23 a point where it started to mock itself and it's been going doing that ever since that was probably around that time with stuff like that yeah yeah you know what i mean it's like we got to this point where there was nothing sacred anymore and everybody you started fucking with christmas and it's like and it's an indictment against the whole you know thing it's just like nothing is sacred not even Christmas.

Speaker 128 Well, I could see how that's up.

Speaker 111 Yeah, that's what I say. That's upsetting to me.

Speaker 6 Especially, like I said, because like you said,

Speaker 6 if you have any affection for your grandma, this song should be eternal. It's a novelty song.

Speaker 61 I know it's a terrible novelty.

Speaker 104 It should be a terrible.

Speaker 6 You don't want to enjoy your novelty.

Speaker 65 Do you not agree, Barn?

Speaker 19 And if you have any respect for my dead grandmother or grandparent whatsoever,

Speaker 23 it's like when I first saw that movie, The Balls of St.

Speaker 124 Mary, so that kind of bummed me out too.

Speaker 25 So the second one, Walt, is

Speaker 25 these kids won't remember it, Q and Sal, but anybody who grew up in the 70s remembers Disco Duck.

Speaker 6 In my opinion, the greatest novelty song

Speaker 6 ever recorded was the Disco Duck.

Speaker 30 That was the one you thought was the greatest novelty song.

Speaker 164 I thought it was a phenomenal novel.

Speaker 28 You know, this video was. It was a look it up.

Speaker 23 And that guy was, what was his name?

Speaker 9 Ricky.

Speaker 6 It was a DJ.

Speaker 84 There's a cast of idiots.

Speaker 8 I know who were.

Speaker 169 But he was a Memphis DJ.

Speaker 170 I wasn't born when this came out then.

Speaker 17 I was born in 76.

Speaker 25 It came out in 76.

Speaker 6 Okay, oh so that's why you have no attachment to it.

Speaker 7 No, it was everywhere.

Speaker 6 Everybody in the schoolyard was singing this.

Speaker 14 I remember the title of song that it was a thing. I couldn't really call it.

Speaker 169 It's really bad.

Speaker 62 He missed it.

Speaker 30 He stepped on a lot of money because they wanted to include it in a Saturday Night Fever sounds right.

Speaker 30 And his manager said

Speaker 30 it's going to hurt your own album.

Speaker 6 They didn't realize that he was a novelty one-hit wonder?

Speaker 11 Oh my god.

Speaker 62 He was a DJ.

Speaker 127 More like Rick D's nuts.

Speaker 6 Yeah, like, how could they not know that, like, lightning isn't going to strike again for you? I don't know.

Speaker 25 Well, he had another song called Disgorilla,

Speaker 25 which I was not aware of until today. What do we need?

Speaker 6 We need to follow it up.

Speaker 25 The video is awful. It's just like these people dancing in a jungle setting and these two big gorilla arms swinging back and forth.
And then he's just, you know, trying to disco dance.

Speaker 6 I think when you look up novelty song in a dictionary, Disco Duck is the example that is in the dictionary see i don't think so i mean

Speaker 70 how old have you ever heard of weird owl yeah the king of novelty songs yeah but like if he had just started weird owl like brought it to a whole other level yeah i mean he's when you think of novelty songs you think of weird owl here's my here's my question about that yes but

Speaker 25 is he the king of novelty songs or the king of parody songs Is there that much of a difference?

Speaker 71 I don't know if we're going to draw a fine line here.

Speaker 6 Yeah, I would say, yeah, I mean, like, that's where, like, Weird Owl just wouldn't go away.

Speaker 25 I know Sal is a Weird Al song, so I'm trying to dismantle it.

Speaker 6 It was just like, you know, he did it once, and he was like, okay, now I'm just going to parody every popular song.

Speaker 17 Oh, he's an American treasure, man.

Speaker 6 I've never found one song humorous. How many of you have been talking about it?

Speaker 7 How can you talk to me like Weird Al?

Speaker 6 Never, not even a single person.

Speaker 67 You're the one person.

Speaker 8 You're the one person. Oh, I'm not.

Speaker 29 I've never heard anyone talk ill of him.

Speaker 7 Yeah, me neither.

Speaker 43 Hardly considered an American treasure. A genius?

Speaker 148 For what? Yeah.

Speaker 43 Dude, he's the guy.

Speaker 43 He did it so well. He did it better than anybody else.

Speaker 6 Any technology 10-year-old could do what he did.

Speaker 7 Name number two of him.

Speaker 14 He's one of a kind.

Speaker 6 Because there's no room in anybody's.

Speaker 38 Nobody wants it.

Speaker 6 Yeah, iPod.

Speaker 151 That's how this conversation went when I get my rich.

Speaker 11 You're exactly right.

Speaker 62 I agree with you.

Speaker 6 There's no room in anybody's appetite for another.

Speaker 7 I don't think it's like weird out. Like,

Speaker 71 unfunny comedy song, dude.

Speaker 6 There's just no room for it. We have one.
America's like, all right.

Speaker 148 Richard Cheese in the music.

Speaker 77 Yeah.

Speaker 23 Weird Al, the carrot top of music.

Speaker 77 Oh.

Speaker 147 How could you, of all people, have no respect for Weird Al?

Speaker 23 I have respect for him, but it's just like, it's not

Speaker 67 going to sound like it.

Speaker 11 Can't wait for that weird Al.

Speaker 14 I think he found a niche. Sure.
And he was just amazing at it. And he was so good that there can't be another one.
Well, they counted on him.

Speaker 23 You know, it was like

Speaker 23 they really, you know, he made a lot of fans.

Speaker 71 They're like, what's Weird Al got to say?

Speaker 14 Who can base there?

Speaker 23 He came back recently.

Speaker 14 He did First World Problems, which was really...

Speaker 34 He did his first number one album.

Speaker 23 And that was...

Speaker 14 who can be that relevant and have that long of a career over that span of time doing quote-unquote parody songs.

Speaker 6 And I said, I maintain that is.

Speaker 23 He's waiting for the world to change so he can comment on it.

Speaker 6 That is the question that cannot be answered. I don't know how on earth this guy, who should have been a one-hit wonder, built this career just taking other people's songs and changing the lyrics.

Speaker 6 Unfunny lyrics.

Speaker 10 You're fat.

Speaker 6 I know it.

Speaker 9 You know, that's

Speaker 8 funny.

Speaker 24 That's hysterical. That's funny.

Speaker 6 I mean, it's like I said, it's like a 10-year-old.

Speaker 14 But think about his videos that accompanied them.

Speaker 16 They were unbelievable.

Speaker 17 Michael Jackson let him use the set for bed. They were going to destroy it.

Speaker 159 He stopped them from destroying it to let him use it.

Speaker 6 I know, but I maintain it. Like,

Speaker 6 it's an anomaly. It should have never happened.
It should have been, he should have been like, he should have been Rick D.

Speaker 40 Should be like, remember we were now?

Speaker 24 that's a weird rick d should

Speaker 38 i i i don't i'm with him you're a little bit

Speaker 11 taking over

Speaker 30 get on a boat and float out somewhere

Speaker 25 uh final word on disco duck

Speaker 6 how many how many units did that sell how many units it was a number one single i don't know how many number one long in a minute no it wasn't that bucket piece of yeah oh my god like we had fever duck fever in 1976

Speaker 67 it was duck fever it was like swine flu but different.

Speaker 77 Ducks.

Speaker 16 Do you remember that? I mean, I would love to hear this right now so we all could fall escape it.

Speaker 29 Right.

Speaker 6 It was like, I remember here, like, in the backseat of driving around my mother's car, if that song came on, it was just like, yes, it's on again.

Speaker 16 You actually got shit.

Speaker 9 Put your shit on. We'd out.

Speaker 7 Right.

Speaker 14 You're in the back seat going fucking buck wild to disco duck. Yes.
But we'd out didn't resonate?

Speaker 6 No, because it was at least original Rick D's. Like, who would think to combine disco and a duck?

Speaker 8 Who?

Speaker 24 Only Rick Dees. Only the

Speaker 15 only

Speaker 8 the super genius that is Rick D's.

Speaker 67 He's got disco?

Speaker 62 So weird Alex not a genius.

Speaker 23 They're not joining each other, but now they do.

Speaker 16 Walls all with D.

Speaker 168 But I just feel...

Speaker 43 My name's Rick D, so it's three.

Speaker 6 It's the original music, too. You know what I'm saying? It's not like he's not, didn't take the music of an existing artist and put like unfunny lyrics to it.

Speaker 86 Well, that is very silly.

Speaker 30 I like you always say unfunny lyrics.

Speaker 3 It's just sort of turning a couple of listening.

Speaker 23 I would say like obvious, like so fucking obvious. Yeah.

Speaker 71 Oh, my God.

Speaker 23 But the thing is, you know, that's what's funny about that. When you do the obvious stuff, if no one else did it first, you're like, you're a genius.

Speaker 148 It's like O.

Speaker 70 Henry stories or something, you know, or Twilight Zone.

Speaker 67 Again, if it's so obvious. It's so fucking obvious.

Speaker 7 Like, well, why didn't you do it, asshole?

Speaker 9 Therefore, he gets to walk away with the cross.

Speaker 6 Disco duck couldn't really be written, though, until disco was hit, big though.

Speaker 46 No, it had to.

Speaker 62 You couldn't do it.

Speaker 23 He You could get back on something else.

Speaker 148 Right.

Speaker 71 Maybe they weren't around and just waited for Disco to happen.

Speaker 23 I mean, there are novelty songs from the 50s and 60s that are totally bizarre.

Speaker 17 We cannot be debating this much about this.

Speaker 89 No, you have to do it.

Speaker 104 That's the last song, Rob.

Speaker 6 I just got it in a rock up in the bag.

Speaker 25 My last word on Disco Duck is: Paul McCartney's on record on solid gold, saying that he wished he wrote Disco Duck.

Speaker 90 A beetle. Paul McCartney.

Speaker 66 A beetle. You've got to respect that.
Sir Paul.

Speaker 25 He loves Disco Duck and Brian Quinn.

Speaker 92 Yeah.

Speaker 6 I mean, when Paul talks, I mean, it means

Speaker 6 way more than what anything that he printed out right now.

Speaker 28 Paul's human.

Speaker 57 Let me tell you how Paul puts his pants on.

Speaker 83 What was your number one?

Speaker 118 My number one, which I thought, I really thought this was going to be your number one.

Speaker 47 Yeah, so did I.

Speaker 89 I loved Disco Duck.

Speaker 33 Monster Mash.

Speaker 16 Yeah, really.

Speaker 25 Monster Mesh, novelty song by Bobby Boris Pickett and the Crypt Kickers.

Speaker 129 Yeah.

Speaker 25 Dave, you must have been into this, right?

Speaker 29 it.

Speaker 23 I always thought it was.

Speaker 23 Didn't like it.

Speaker 45 Didn't like it?

Speaker 23 No, I mean, I want you guys to know.

Speaker 152 I wanted to. I like it too.

Speaker 9 How do you not like it?

Speaker 6 Because I love Universal Monsters. I love that, but it's not

Speaker 115 a written song, though.

Speaker 16 It's a novelty song.

Speaker 6 You know, I know, but it's just not.

Speaker 14 It's not the masterpiece that Discord.

Speaker 14 When you think of Well-Ready songs, your mind goes to a few imagines.

Speaker 46 This was done.

Speaker 37 That's true.

Speaker 23 There's real love in there, too.

Speaker 6 Yeah, yeah, like, every Halloween, I would like, I would hear the song and I'd be like, oh, yeah, I should love this. Yeah, let me give this another try.

Speaker 9 I had a love song yesterday.

Speaker 23 And I would just be like, I didn't like the bad Karloff imitation. That's why I didn't like it.

Speaker 29 Ooh, that's a good point.

Speaker 23 I just didn't like it.

Speaker 25 Have you seen the video? Where the guy, like, I mean, obviously he's lip-syncing the whole time, but he just makes these weird faces. Like, I guess he's trying to.

Speaker 23 Is it Bobby Boris Pickett? Yeah.

Speaker 6 Like, actually back in the day doing it yeah yeah if you look go on YouTube you'll see it's very strange where he uh he's singing to an audience and just like his face is all contorting and shit like I guess he's a mad scientist right are you allowed to do that are you allowed to just steal someone's voice like that like you don't want to get the real Karloff you just get somebody who sounds like Karloff yeah you could do it you could do it and Karloff can't do anything about it nope

Speaker 62 I think they said

Speaker 25 exactly I think they said that he got uh Sarah Karlov's permission or somebody got Sarah Karlov's permission well was he alive at the time oh he would have been alive would Would he have been alive at that time?

Speaker 74 When the song was that 1962 or something?

Speaker 16 Oh, yeah, yeah.

Speaker 30 And he did a rap version of it in 1980.

Speaker 17 He kept going back to that well.

Speaker 92 He's got to knock it down.

Speaker 43 Yeah, he kept going to that well.

Speaker 116 Oh, he did. Yeah.

Speaker 39 But we're not talking about the well.

Speaker 92 We're talking about the chart.

Speaker 25 Well, here's the stats on it.

Speaker 25 So it got to,

Speaker 25 it was number one on the Billboard Hot 100 chart the year it came out in 1962. It has been a perennial Halloween favorite ever since.

Speaker 25 It was re-released several times, appeared on the U.S. Billboard charts on two occasions after the original release, August 1970, May 1973, nearly 50 years after its re-release.

Speaker 25 Monster Mesh re-entered the Billboard Hot 100 chart at number 37.

Speaker 17 It is the preeminent Halloween song.

Speaker 169 I mean, so long as nobody Halloween's Eve.

Speaker 6 It's amazing, though, that nobody can, like, you know, unseat it, though. All these many years later, it's still the go-to song.

Speaker 62 I know.

Speaker 6 It's almost like people aren't trying to get it.

Speaker 62 They're not trying to live through it.

Speaker 161 And the

Speaker 23 dynamics of radio and all that stuff has changed now. It's like different world.

Speaker 25 So this is the song that I felt

Speaker 25 was The Simpsons one. No, it was featured in the Monster Mesh was featured twice on The Simpsons.
And if you're on The Simpsons, that's culturally relevant, right?

Speaker 34 Absolutely. I mean, I was on The Simpsons.

Speaker 77 Yeah.

Speaker 45 You were, that's right. Really? Salval County?

Speaker 14 Well, not The Simpsons, but a clip of Homer Simpson talking to Conan for Conan's last episode.

Speaker 47 We were on.

Speaker 61 Wow. But

Speaker 31 they mentioned my name, which is kind of cool.

Speaker 51 Yeah, yours was the only name mentioned, right?

Speaker 46 Yours was the only name mentioned, right?

Speaker 14 Well, Impractical Jokes was mentioned, but then as a reference, he said, you thought he was right.

Speaker 90 The voice came in.

Speaker 101 Right.

Speaker 60 And the

Speaker 25 horror punk band, The Misfits, recorded a cover version of it in 1997.

Speaker 25 I don't know. I think this is one of those.

Speaker 30 Yeah, I wouldn't mention that. That was when the Misfits completely sucked.

Speaker 25 I watched the video and I was like, people like this band?

Speaker 23 They always sucked.

Speaker 56 Did they? Yeah.

Speaker 19 Yeah, I was saying. You're more of a punk guy, right?

Speaker 60 You were into punk guy. They were better in

Speaker 23 than they are in actual early situations. I saw them a couple of times, and I just thought they were bad.

Speaker 6 He's so far away. Yeah.

Speaker 84 Oh, I'm sorry. I thought they were.

Speaker 23 I mean, I just thought they were, you know, they look cool.

Speaker 6 They have a lot of, like, their merchandise is fucking phenomenal.

Speaker 23 Well, that would, I mean, that's the big sensation. Like, they really knocked it out of the park with that thing.

Speaker 23 And he stole that design from what movie?

Speaker 6 The Red Ghoul. Or the

Speaker 51 Skull Dynamic.

Speaker 62 Oh, really?

Speaker 28 It was a serial

Speaker 36 30s.

Speaker 43 30s, like Red Ghost or something.

Speaker 152 Yeah,

Speaker 133 Red Death. Yeah.

Speaker 23 And just, man, it's just like rock culture, just what's like the motorhead logo. Just we love this forever.

Speaker 25 You're not having a Halloween party without Monster Man.

Speaker 6 No, you're not. No, you're not.
No, you're really. I mean, you got two.
Yeah, you got, you, you knocked them loopy with Disco up and then you went for a kill with uh monster man

Speaker 6 all right so

Speaker 14 okay uh i'll be afraid this man i'll be speaking off the top of my head i did not i have statistical backup but i'll be speaking from a pace place of emotion which i really think is what the music is rooted in anyway nice

Speaker 23 you gotta hand it to this guy you know this is a tough this is tough okay

Speaker 14 I'll start with

Speaker 14 well, let me start with the Christmas song to volley back to your side.

Speaker 14 I don't think all Christmas songs are novelty, but I think this one would fit the bill. I think it's the quintessential, if there ever was a novelty, Christmas song.

Speaker 14 I think that it is backed up by even more of a lore and a universe that make the song more impactful. I think it resonates with people of all ages,

Speaker 14 including now. Everyone wouldn't deny it's still completely relevant to this day.
And it's Boris Karloff, you're a mean one, Mr.

Speaker 25 Grinch.

Speaker 14 I just think that, you know, it comes on, and I never not listen to to it. I never don't sing a lot.

Speaker 6 I'm not sure.

Speaker 6 Is it forced, Carlos?

Speaker 62 I think it is.

Speaker 6 I don't know if that's a novelty song.

Speaker 151 Well, I mean, how else would you describe it?

Speaker 6 A Christmas song.

Speaker 45 A Christmas novelty song. TV Christmas song.

Speaker 99 Yeah, I don't know.

Speaker 127 It has a lot of hyphen.

Speaker 14 I mean, it has narration. Christmas TV novelty.

Speaker 144 I don't know. It just,

Speaker 14 it's that his deep voice, and he speaks through it.

Speaker 6 It's a great song. I love it.

Speaker 58 I think I said

Speaker 14 as original as it may come, based on an original character.

Speaker 6 You know what?

Speaker 6 If you're going to put it up against A Holy Night

Speaker 21 and then

Speaker 94 A Holy Night

Speaker 95 is a bit of a leap.

Speaker 61 It's certainly just an automatic.

Speaker 14 And if I had to put Mr. Grinch up against Grandma Got Run Over by Radio, I would take Mr.

Speaker 58 Grinch.

Speaker 6 It's a better Christmas song. Yeah.

Speaker 14 I like that song better than I mean The Grinch is one of those things when, just like with the Monster Mash, when Christmas rolls around,

Speaker 14 you got to watch Miracle on 34th Street. You got to watch Rudolph that we just talked about.

Speaker 14 I mean, you got to watch The Grinch. And it's, for me, it's novelty, and I just think it's pretty undeniable.

Speaker 25 But is every song in that show then a novelty song?

Speaker 25 I mean, is every song in

Speaker 30 a single shittier than others? But yeah, I would say they're all

Speaker 61 novelty songs.

Speaker 123 Just ask them.

Speaker 17 I think there's something to the slicing out of it and presenting it on its own that makes it a little bit of a novelty song.

Speaker 34 And yeah, it stands off on its own.

Speaker 113 The other songs really don't.

Speaker 43 Let me ask you a question.

Speaker 17 Is the Ghostbusters theme a novelty song? In this day and age?

Speaker 20 No. No.

Speaker 30 I don't think so.

Speaker 115 No.

Speaker 14 Oh, that's good because I almost chose Bat Dance by Prince, and that wouldn't have an algorithm.

Speaker 113 That wouldn't have been a nice one.

Speaker 30 No, that's just a song.

Speaker 45 Okay. All right.

Speaker 144 Well,

Speaker 14 my mind didn't go to Christmas until I did see your selections just so I can understand what songs meant novelty. And so I took my cue from.

Speaker 100 That's a good question.

Speaker 17 It's a big philosophical song. It is.

Speaker 6 So you got, you know, I think they kind of negate each other. The two Christmas songs.
It's a great song.

Speaker 115 Are you the assistant manager?

Speaker 53 I really feel they just.

Speaker 6 I'm playing for the Chupacabra right now.

Speaker 6 I feel they just kind of negate each other, and now you've knocked out one.

Speaker 128 Now you got to go back. Yeah, that's got to knock out.

Speaker 99 Better than taking it out one.

Speaker 105 It's a wash.

Speaker 6 It's a push.

Speaker 17 Yeah.

Speaker 86 One L could fuck you, buddy.

Speaker 87 Let me go par to par.

Speaker 14 I'll give you my generation's disco duck.

Speaker 106 Okay?

Speaker 14 Because you said you had duck fever. Tell it.
Well, I had Pac-Man fever by Buckner and Garcia.

Speaker 62 That

Speaker 14 ruled the 80s, ruled my life. Pac-Man is still, Miss Pac-Man is still my favorite video game.
I still know it. It still comes on.
I just, it's a definite, I think it's the quintessential novelty song.

Speaker 14 And I think it, I mean, I think it took over when it was out, just like much like Disco Duck. So taking nothing away from that because I didn't live through that.

Speaker 14 But I would call this my generation, my generation.

Speaker 37 My age cracking on this one is

Speaker 16 all songs.

Speaker 25 And it only came out like, what, a year or two after Disco Duck?

Speaker 71 Right?

Speaker 74 It was 80s.

Speaker 14 Only a little 81 four years different four years yeah could have been possibly there maybe there could have been no pac-man fever without it

Speaker 25 that's what's great about being older i got to enjoy disco duck and pac-man

Speaker 6 you straddled right

Speaker 14 did it chart like a cool was the first song that came to mind uh without having to then feel like what else is a novelty song it almost came right to the forefront of my mind and also it is like it's nostalgic and and pac-man is relevant right now and it's just i just think it spans again all ages all decades

Speaker 14 oh my god it's on you can't even back it's on every system it's on every it's it's in front of your face all the time still still yeah yeah this they sell this they sell those those

Speaker 23 arcade game table ones they sell yeah you know pokeman is doing really good now too you want to go on that side of the table

Speaker 14 i'm making the argument that it is a good novelty song because i don't think it's going to win against disco dust that's why i wanted to stand up disco dust disco duck okay i will say though also if i could just put Pac-Man Thever up against Disco Duck on the merits of music as well, I do think

Speaker 6 but where did it chart?

Speaker 30 Number nine.

Speaker 6 Oh, so it's only eight spots behind Disco Duck. I didn't even thought it charted in the top ten, but it made a top ten.

Speaker 14 I didn't want to strong Disco Duck, so I played it for like all I could stand

Speaker 16 and I said, wow, obviously I'm going to be able to, you know.

Speaker 14 And then that's why I was like, oh, we're picking horrible songs.

Speaker 133 And that's why I originally chose the Yankees.

Speaker 62 I get it.

Speaker 73 You're that Yankee song.

Speaker 6 What the fuck?

Speaker 150 Fuck, that's it's why I just thought we were picking terrible songs.

Speaker 14 Uh, so I also think it has a little bit of a bomb. I think you know, it's got like it's got it's like a little bit of a dance.

Speaker 43 It hits you, it hits you.

Speaker 6 I think you've done as well as you possibly could with with Disco Duck in your way.

Speaker 6 You're like, you're like a defense lawyer.

Speaker 100 You're like a defense lawyer.

Speaker 6 You got DNA on your client.

Speaker 6 You know, you got DNA, but you still got to go through it.

Speaker 90 Put on this glove.

Speaker 62 Put on the glove.

Speaker 64 In shock. I have never.

Speaker 57 I have never in my life.

Speaker 14 I've never heard of Disco Duck, but I've also still can't imagine if I had heard of it, I would ever see someone as adamant,

Speaker 44 as a disco duck stan, as the kids say, as yourself.

Speaker 14 I mean, it's like you live and die by the duck.

Speaker 149 Yeah, I didn't realize how passionate you are.

Speaker 85 I love this song.

Speaker 55 You had to be there.

Speaker 58 You had to be there.

Speaker 62 You had to live it. Okay, I did live it.

Speaker 25 Can you do your part in bringing Disco Duck back to the mainstream by one of you guys wearing a shirt on the show? Sure. just a disco duck

Speaker 20 that would be awesome i would love

Speaker 14 um i don't know and it's also attached to something that is even bigger than the song and culture irrelevance so i think it's like it just has a good pedigree as opposed to disco duck is a standalone thing it was very impressive yeah like i didn't think you could come

Speaker 6 with anything even close to that and you did a good job right you did very good very good job but you got one more song though you know what it is babe don't you call me pudgy polio stout

Speaker 14 I went to the Godfather of parody and novelty, and I chose

Speaker 14 one of my... I chose the song that I have the original record to.
You bought this? Yes, I have it on 45.

Speaker 14 And yeah, God.

Speaker 6 If you had bought

Speaker 6 the full album, would that mean more significance to you, Tim, in your judgment?

Speaker 62 Or is it 45 enough?

Speaker 85 No.

Speaker 14 I probably have to say that.

Speaker 14 I just figured

Speaker 14 what's a really good sampling of one of the best novelty acts around.

Speaker 6 How old are you in this? Because this has got to be 1986.

Speaker 172 88.

Speaker 70 I was 12.

Speaker 55 Oh, you're okay. All right.

Speaker 62 That makes a lot more sense. Yeah.

Speaker 25 I had written down.

Speaker 60 I like Weird L as well.

Speaker 25 I just, for the first time, saw White and Archie.

Speaker 25 Yeah. He's an accomplished rapper.

Speaker 25 Like, his rapping is actually pretty good. I was surprised.

Speaker 14 He did that whole R. Kelly one in the closet.
He did Amish Paradise,

Speaker 14 which is another one.

Speaker 62 I mean, it's endless. His calculator.

Speaker 84 I missed everything.

Speaker 161 Amish Paradise.

Speaker 169 We tried to get him on comic book, man.

Speaker 25 He was at the Count Basie one night, and he was walking down the street, and the producers ran down, and they're like, please, please come on.

Speaker 71 But he was like, fuck off.

Speaker 45 But I wrote today.

Speaker 25 Today, fat is not very politically correct. A novelty song should be able to be enjoyed by all, even fat people.
There's a line in it that says he's got more chins than Chinatown.

Speaker 25 So it's kind of a little xenophobic.

Speaker 70 And it also makes people think of a child monster.

Speaker 28 Wait, wait, wait a minute.

Speaker 14 He's not fat shaming.

Speaker 45 He is fat.

Speaker 14 He is fat.

Speaker 45 He's fat, right? So how would that be?

Speaker 28 But you can't bring that body.

Speaker 120 That would be right in line with today.

Speaker 14 You can't bring it up.

Speaker 67 He's owning his body.

Speaker 14 It's body positivity.

Speaker 161 He's bullied for not being fat.

Speaker 17 And he's like, fuck you, I am fat.

Speaker 43 Let the record show.

Speaker 30 He does own it.

Speaker 16 He's a fat positivity suit.

Speaker 6 He was wearing a fat suit.

Speaker 30 No, but the character in the song.

Speaker 6 Right. But I mean, just because you say you're the character.

Speaker 16 I'm saying it didn't age well. That's what I'm saying.

Speaker 14 Once again, I think this song has a good pedigree as it is parodying, parodying one of the most recognizable pop icons and pop songs.

Speaker 14 Something that Michael Jackson did well was he attached imagery, whether it be his outfits, to his songs. And I think this is an extension of that.

Speaker 14 So, again, I'm just picking stuff that really have a really good foundation behind them as well.

Speaker 25 There's not one quack in the whole goddamn song.

Speaker 16 Wow.

Speaker 17 See, that's why I know this fucking guy didn't need any prep work. He rolls in here.

Speaker 16 Well done.

Speaker 43 I told you he was going to do well.

Speaker 17 You got a tough decision.

Speaker 30 This is a lot tougher than I thought.

Speaker 17 And you blew the last one, so let's see.

Speaker 152 Let's see if you got this one right.

Speaker 3 Jesus.

Speaker 14 I'm playing for the Kripke.

Speaker 17 I mean, this is an opportunity if you fix that hurt.

Speaker 84 What was your favorite one?

Speaker 6 What was your favorite song out of the six?

Speaker 30 See, my favorite song of the six was Monster Mash.

Speaker 6 Okay.

Speaker 6 What was your second favorite song out of the six?

Speaker 30 Your You're our main one, Mr. Grinch.

Speaker 6 What was your third? My late end.

Speaker 30 Disco Duck.

Speaker 4 Oh.

Speaker 17 The shame in your voice. Yeah.

Speaker 83 We know what it is, then we know what it is.

Speaker 14 Well, unless the next two are mine, then it's like,

Speaker 30 I gotta, it's a lot closer than I thought it was gonna be because your arguments were great. But I gotta go with

Speaker 30 Monster Mashes, so I gotta go with Brian on this. But it was,

Speaker 30 I'm sorry.

Speaker 46 Thanks for carrying it.

Speaker 164 Fair play.

Speaker 66 Fair play.

Speaker 71 I gotta say, I liked all of your songs.

Speaker 149 Thanks, bud. I thought they were.

Speaker 30 This is a really good song.

Speaker 6 That's why, yeah, the whole concept of the game is ridiculous.

Speaker 58 Yeah. Really? Yeah.
You're like,

Speaker 6 but that's where the song comes in.

Speaker 57 Yeah.

Speaker 6 All right. So we're tied up.

Speaker 6 And the next two things we're doing are going to be way quicker than this.

Speaker 57 I promise you.

Speaker 6 But Tim, now you join Sal and Dave on their team for the next section.

Speaker 61 Or you can stay over to Airbus.

Speaker 25 Boys, if we're all intact, there's 16 balls at this table.

Speaker 169 Right, Dave?

Speaker 25 You're intact, I'm assuming.

Speaker 62 Oh, yeah, yeah, I'm good.

Speaker 135 No, I got three.

Speaker 103 So 17, motherfucker. Yeah.

Speaker 114 More of a reason to eat Manscaped.

Speaker 84 Yeah, we still have 16.

Speaker 95 Who's holding out?

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Speaker 66 I doubt that.

Speaker 6 That's a weird thing to say.

Speaker 6 Because there's some chicks who look like that, though.

Speaker 57 I know one of them.

Speaker 127 It's time to leave.

Speaker 55 Top and below, huh?

Speaker 58 Damn straight.

Speaker 49 That Santa Fennish is strong.

Speaker 32 Actually, can't you grow it out a little more?

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Speaker 112 I'm like, dad, let me ask you a question about your boss.

Speaker 147 I've been talking to mom.

Speaker 25 You ever have any serious,

Speaker 25 any serious incidents, Q? Did you try to Manscape a little bit?

Speaker 17 I mean, I've had the occasional like Nick where I'm like, oh man, now I just got a bleedy ball.

Speaker 17 Not with this, baby. Not with manscaped.

Speaker 25 Not with manscaped. Yeah.

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Yeah. Right.
That's what astronauts use up in space, I heard.

Speaker 116 To shave their balls.

Speaker 60 I'm glad because I've been waxing.

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Speaker 79 All the equipment.

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Speaker 55 God damn it. All right.

Speaker 17 Back to the fray. Back to it.

Speaker 30 I thought Giddam was eating fucking earplugs.

Speaker 58 Giddam's not supposed to be here yet.

Speaker 6 Giddam's not introduced into the episode yet.

Speaker 138 That's a great intro.

Speaker 84 I don't think of it now, but I was like, Where the fuck is Ken eat me in plugs?

Speaker 166 Least strangest thing I've eaten.

Speaker 6 So, up next is probably the most requested, requested, requested? I think requested

Speaker 6 segment

Speaker 6 of easily the last five years.

Speaker 6 I get it a weekly people saying, When are you going to bring this segment back?

Speaker 6 And it's, I'll explain what it is to Sal and Dave. It's called Two Live Crew or One Middle Age Jew.

Speaker 6 And what happens is Sunday Jeff, who we're welcoming to the table right now.

Speaker 6 He will read to Team Dave, Sal, and Tim, since you now join their team, he will read two verses. One is a real naughty verse, not from Two Life Crew, but on the level of Two Life Crew.

Speaker 14 And one's a Lenny Bruce lyric?

Speaker 88 No, the other one is

Speaker 6 a rap, naughty verse that he wrote. And you have to say,

Speaker 6 you have to say which, you have to pick which one Sunday Jeff wrote.

Speaker 45 Oh, this is amazing.

Speaker 52 He's not going to be.

Speaker 55 It's harder than you think.

Speaker 135 Okay. Yeah,

Speaker 45 he's good at it.

Speaker 6 All right, Sunday. So

Speaker 6 this first two raps are for Team

Speaker 6 Sal, Dave, and Tim. You thought of this game?

Speaker 169 Yeah. And named it?

Speaker 170 Yes.

Speaker 80 Team Chancellor.

Speaker 14 Waiting for the chronologist. Here we go.

Speaker 176 Alright, first title one is Slob on My Knob.

Speaker 101 I like the attitude.

Speaker 62 From the hood, bro.

Speaker 80 Here we go.

Speaker 155 Sniff a little coke. Take a little X.

Speaker 176 Smoke a little weed. Drink a little bit.
I need a girl that I can get freaky with.

Speaker 176 And want to try my...

Speaker 176 And when I try shit, I ain't scared of a big dick and love to get a pussy licked. But by another bitch, because I ain't drunk enough to do that.
Do you want it on the floor?

Speaker 176 Do you want it on the the chair? Do you want it over here? Do you want it over there? Do you want it in your pussy?

Speaker 83 Do you want it in your ass?

Speaker 176 I'll give you anything you can handle.

Speaker 152 Charming.

Speaker 6 First one.

Speaker 82 I mean, if I close my eyes,

Speaker 128 it's like Snoop, right?

Speaker 140 Oh, like you like her.

Speaker 69 Wow.

Speaker 139 You really, you really

Speaker 14 have the essence. Yeah.

Speaker 6 So now do rap two, and then we have to decide which one is yours and which one was the real.

Speaker 176 okay. This is the second one.

Speaker 153 It's called Tohos.

Speaker 176 Didn't know I like to fuck casuals, did you? Getting freaky with Godzilla's ugly ass son Minya. Me, Kong, and Rodan all getting head from a space dragon called Ghidorah.

Speaker 176 So perverted I gerbil stuffed that lava stage version of Mathara.

Speaker 176 I can go all night, son, even longer than a robot mecha Godzilla. Cause compared to me, that tin is just a pocket-sized vibrator.

Speaker 69 Wow.

Speaker 177 Jeez.

Speaker 161 Yeah. I mean,

Speaker 153 what do you guys think? I could guess.

Speaker 14 Well, sort of we all weigh in, and then we get the final one.

Speaker 159 Yeah, and then you get a final second one.

Speaker 30 It's much nicer.

Speaker 161 Yeah.

Speaker 14 Well, because if I say something and I'll sway them, we should like right.

Speaker 14 I just don't want to sway us.

Speaker 17 Well, you were on the same team.

Speaker 175 You're on the same team.

Speaker 153 Oh, we were on the same team.

Speaker 174 Yeah, James.

Speaker 16 Gotcha, gotcha.

Speaker 153 Yeah.

Speaker 14 Okay, so I've officially understood zero games tonight.

Speaker 60 Okay.

Speaker 14 I think the second one was, although it was good, I think the second one, I think it was Sunday Jeff's.

Speaker 153 Yeah, me too. Yeah.

Speaker 30 Because it was much nerdier than the first one.

Speaker 23 Yeah, and it's funnier.

Speaker 175 Yeah. You know, it's just funnier.

Speaker 17 Unanimous. Yeah.

Speaker 6 Unanimous for number two.

Speaker 175 That would be correct.

Speaker 6 That would be correct. The curator gets another point.

Speaker 17 He kind of gave it away by making one exclusively about Godzilla, about the show.

Speaker 10 And the other one, I don't know.

Speaker 23 He doesn't imagine himself as being a woman being eaten out.

Speaker 172 That's possible.

Speaker 147 Always possible.

Speaker 43 But it's always a pleasure to see.

Speaker 6 But he writes what he knows, though.

Speaker 16 Not so much.

Speaker 175 The rap's bad.

Speaker 17 In fact, the rap is excellent. I'm just saying, like, if I have to guess which one he wrote, it's going to be the one that

Speaker 151 he's topics that he's talking about.

Speaker 177 I didn't know that, though.

Speaker 17 The next one's going to be about him running the register in a fucking complex.

Speaker 43 But please, I hope it's that easy.

Speaker 14 The next one's going to be like, Sunday Jeff's going to fuck you.

Speaker 23 I'm anxiously awaiting the fusion.

Speaker 153 Yeah, the fusion.

Speaker 43 Yeah, yeah. God still are going to fuck you.

Speaker 176 All right, this is rap number three. Sell Black 69.

Speaker 163 Cell block or cell block 69. Cell block.

Speaker 40 So black. So black.

Speaker 176 What's the source of my throbbing erection? Hot bitches going down on each other while incarceration. My most prized possession, my sealed, unopened women in prison DVD collection.

Speaker 176 Fuck the MCU and Star Wars, because the Oscar goes to any film with a jail and whores. See of women showering captivity has always been my deprevity.
No need to order, no blue chew.

Speaker 39 Not when I got classes like chained heat too.

Speaker 23 He just dropped the mic.

Speaker 17 Amazing.

Speaker 6 Why were you making on tactic eye contact with stacy the entire time you were saying that song oh my god can you read it again we were like because the the last line is so good that's great the last line at least

Speaker 175 i'll read it again yeah yeah give us one more time do it again

Speaker 176 oh god cell block 69

Speaker 176 What's the source of my throbbing erection? Hot bitches going down on each other while incarceration. My most prized possession, my sealed, unopened women in prison DVD collection.

Speaker 176 Fuck the MCU and Star Wars, because the Oscar goes to any film with a jail and whores. Scenes of women showering in captivity has always been my deprivity.
No need to order no Blue Chew.

Speaker 176 No, when I got classics like Chained Heat 2.

Speaker 41 What was the last line?

Speaker 178 I got classics like Chained Heat.

Speaker 6 No need to order Blue Chew. Not while I got the classics, like Chained Heat 2.

Speaker 153 You want to read?

Speaker 46 Number two.

Speaker 177 that was real.

Speaker 92 I want to hear it. Okay.

Speaker 85 I gotta hear lessons.

Speaker 175 Yeah, I want to hear it.

Speaker 176 Number four is freaky leak.

Speaker 176 Slap on my knob like corn on the cob. Check it in with me and do your job.
Lay on the bed and give me a head. Don't have to ask, don't beg.

Speaker 153 Let me start over again. Yeah, please.

Speaker 175 Please.

Speaker 176 Slide on my knob like corn on the cob. Check in with me and do your job.
Lay on the bed and give me head. Don't have to ask, don't have to beg.
Juicy is my name, sex is my game.

Speaker 176 Let's call the boys, let's run a train, squeeze on my nuts, and lick on my butt.

Speaker 43 Are you making eye contact with Giddam during this?

Speaker 41 All right, well, let's see what's for them.

Speaker 175 I mean, I've got significant ones,

Speaker 17 considering it's Bluetooth.

Speaker 38 Are you sure?

Speaker 159 And the women in prison movies.

Speaker 17 But I gotta say, still magnificent performance.

Speaker 86 DVDs, the MCU, and Trails.

Speaker 163 DVDs got me first.

Speaker 14 Then he also, the second one, said the rapper's name.

Speaker 42 Juicy's my name.

Speaker 29 He's one of the guys with Two Life Crews.

Speaker 6 No, this isn't a Two Life Crew song.

Speaker 175 Who wrote that song?

Speaker 153 The second one. Oh, Juicy J?

Speaker 6 No, it's by Petey Pablo.

Speaker 6 Freak a Leak is by Pete Pablo.

Speaker 80 Hate to fact check you on that.

Speaker 6 But the name comes from, because originally we just did it with Two Life Crew verses. Okay.

Speaker 157 But

Speaker 6 they're so so limited, though.

Speaker 6 Yeah, for sure.

Speaker 14 Yeah. I would say don't say the name of the song because if no one, everyone recognizes it, it's a dead giveaway.
But that's just me.

Speaker 6 Yeah, yeah. I always think that nobody knows any rap songs because I don't.

Speaker 16 You know something now.

Speaker 6 But did everybody get the fucking title of the Toho one?

Speaker 154 What was the name again?

Speaker 178 Tohos.

Speaker 16 To-O-E.

Speaker 91 What was the LARV thing again?

Speaker 176 Superverted,

Speaker 176 I gerbil stuffed the larva stage version of a mothra.

Speaker 161 So you put awesome offer up your ass.

Speaker 23 It's an awesome, awesome race.

Speaker 17 This should be a subset of the 13%ers who call themselves Tohos.

Speaker 15 Right?

Speaker 17 And like, maybe they dress up like sexy Godzilla.

Speaker 172 Is that right?

Speaker 160 The Tohos?

Speaker 175 Yeah.

Speaker 176 That's honestly.

Speaker 153 You heard a 13%er.

Speaker 154 Good luck.

Speaker 38 You need to be in Sunday Jeff's stable.

Speaker 6 So it is really coming down to the wire because you both teams got points in that one yeah so we're still tied and that brings us to introduce our last

Speaker 6 celeb

Speaker 6 of the of the night yeah get him steve dave for an episode of

Speaker 17 i got i mean since what i know i i you know i know we're going a little long here but i just i i did want to take a second out to out of 500 episodes the impact that this man has had on our show oh yeah from the moment he arrived to to right now

Speaker 17 we all owe you a debt of thanks because really, I don't think the show would be what it is today without Giddam.

Speaker 161 And I mean that sincerely, dude.

Speaker 6 Do you remember meeting Giddim on episode? I don't know. It was a very early on episode.

Speaker 23 I remember meeting you early on.

Speaker 11 I was like, who's the hell is this?

Speaker 6 Yeah, he was the guy that put all the cams in his house. Yeah.

Speaker 170 He doesn't do that anymore.

Speaker 6 Because his house burned down, bro.

Speaker 67 And the cams did too.

Speaker 38 Yeah.

Speaker 6 But Gidham is here to play a game that we haven't played since episode 300 when Sal was here. So I thought it was nice to bring it back.
It's called Get Him to Know You, Get Him to Know All About You.

Speaker 6 So I'm going to ask Get Him three questions. A question, he's going to give you three answers.
And you have guys.

Speaker 6 Every game is a variation of the very first game, one, two, three.

Speaker 151 Find out.

Speaker 6 I mean, it's all the same. One is right, two are wrong.
Okay.

Speaker 6 So the first question is going to be for team Sal, Dave, and Tim.

Speaker 6 What is your go-to subject to talk about when having phone sex?

Speaker 6 So tell them.

Speaker 38 Number one,

Speaker 166 talking about my superior intelligence.

Speaker 6 He is 148 IQ.

Speaker 46 Wow, you're just blown away, weren't you?

Speaker 42 Just

Speaker 24 accept it.

Speaker 172 Pick your job

Speaker 40 off the table.

Speaker 177 Can I have a number?

Speaker 166 I don't actually have a phone number, but you can eye message me.

Speaker 166 Number two, talking about how much I want her to dominate me.

Speaker 166 Who's this question for?

Speaker 6 This is for Team Tim, Sal, and Dave. Okay, I just wanted to look at us.

Speaker 166 And number three,

Speaker 166 talking dirty while doing impressions of famous celebrities.

Speaker 16 I could see any one of these being true.

Speaker 11 Yeah, all the above.

Speaker 70 The third one?

Speaker 17 Yeah, yeah, I can see it being true with this guy.

Speaker 82 The third one rung a little bit.

Speaker 38 Nothing with supposedly me.

Speaker 6 You don't think he could do one of your impressions for him then? Do talk dirty under one of your best impressions.

Speaker 166 I'm not going to go down on you. I'm not going to eat you.
Like, hell, I'm not.

Speaker 66 Was that John Wayne?

Speaker 163 That was John Wayne discussing cumulingness.

Speaker 16 Got your excitement and jerking yourself over?

Speaker 146 No, no, it's doing like phone sex.

Speaker 23 No, I know, but that.

Speaker 166 I'm trying to get her dripping.

Speaker 3 Oh, yeah.

Speaker 23 There's a reason why he's single. Yeah.

Speaker 169 That's out.

Speaker 16 We'll do the other one.

Speaker 23 And wait, and wait, are the people who have

Speaker 14 phone sex with 75 and over?

Speaker 46 So they can get that reference?

Speaker 166 Well, another one of mine is:

Speaker 166 I've been looking at you through the window, Andy.

Speaker 16 Are you talking about Barney?

Speaker 41 Barney?

Speaker 41 Yes, yes.

Speaker 16 Yes, Barney Fife.

Speaker 165 Barney Fife.

Speaker 23 You know, American Treasure.

Speaker 17 Nothing gets you going like Barney Fife in your ear.

Speaker 154 I've always said that.

Speaker 166 Don Notz. Oh, Don Knotts just takes the panties drop.

Speaker 14 I really thought that was Don Knott. So you do have something there.

Speaker 25 Do you say Andy regardless of who you're talking to?

Speaker 146 I didn't want to say And B, but.

Speaker 169 Oh, I'm rubbing my bush with Vixen

Speaker 14 Vix Baba rub.

Speaker 14 Okay.

Speaker 158 Oof. Okay.

Speaker 175 I think the intellect.

Speaker 6 I think he would

Speaker 30 talk about how smart he is.

Speaker 7 Honestly,

Speaker 14 I think that's funny, but I think that that would be.

Speaker 161 Yeah, but you're through the looking glass right now.

Speaker 38 You got to remember that.

Speaker 71 I understand.

Speaker 41 Well, oh,

Speaker 17 you think he zigs.

Speaker 67 He doesn't even zag.

Speaker 29 It's a whole nother word you never even heard.

Speaker 14 I just can't understand what the talk would be if it was about the intelligence.

Speaker 30 I'm smart.

Speaker 67 I'm smart.

Speaker 36 But remember, the girl has to return.

Speaker 23 Her intelligence is a road to something else. She's getting paid.
So basically,

Speaker 23 the beginning of the conversation would be her talking about its intelligence, and basically we get to number two, which is bing, the winner.

Speaker 14 I think number two.

Speaker 14 Yeah, I mean, run number two rings true with probably everybody. There's a side of that in all of us, maybe.

Speaker 25 Am I speaking out of turn?

Speaker 67 Yeah, fair enough.

Speaker 154 Okay. If you two.

Speaker 14 I would defer to you guys, though.

Speaker 153 No, but you know, I'm just guessing.

Speaker 16 I'm not sure two, so I'm fine with that.

Speaker 17 Two is too normal for him.

Speaker 30 I know.

Speaker 60 Don't feel bad. Nobody knows him.

Speaker 175 But, like, I'll totally.

Speaker 14 I don't have. I could be swayed, guys.
So.

Speaker 23 Well,

Speaker 153 they all sound very realistic to me.

Speaker 40 And I would say they all could be.

Speaker 38 They couldn't be numbers. Wait a minute.

Speaker 161 They all could be up there.

Speaker 6 Do you think him doing John Wayne to turn a girl on is realistic?

Speaker 23 Yeah, because I think they would think it was funny and therefore it would lead to being number two again. All those things revolve around the one thing where actually something really happens.

Speaker 23 That's the only thing where something really happens. Everything else is just prologue.

Speaker 14 The John Wayne and Donnot's impression.

Speaker 161 What the hell do I know?

Speaker 38 I don't have an air in that dog.

Speaker 157 Wow.

Speaker 166 There's like a.

Speaker 43 If you guys think too.

Speaker 166 Charlie, there's only two words,

Speaker 166 only two syllables that get me excited.

Speaker 38 Pussy. Hoah.

Speaker 14 That alpuccino incentive of woman?

Speaker 24 He's nailing them because you know.

Speaker 161 Yeah, that's that's it.

Speaker 112 Wow.

Speaker 6 What do you think it is, Dave?

Speaker 23 I think it's number two.

Speaker 67 Domination.

Speaker 23 What? Yeah.

Speaker 73 I think McGuire's the only one that actually has sex.

Speaker 100 His whole life, though.

Speaker 6 What? He's dominated in every aspect of his life. That's what he needs.

Speaker 23 I didn't know that. I didn't know the backstory.

Speaker 46 I will say this, though.

Speaker 14 I will say this.

Speaker 14 If he knows what the game's about, right? And

Speaker 150 two of them are...

Speaker 14 a little bit off and one's not. So it almost seems obvious that it's two.
And if he knows what the game's about and he's playing the game the right way,

Speaker 14 it seems to me that he would not inject something obvious with those other two like that. So now I'm actually...

Speaker 43 Because he has an IQ of 148.

Speaker 179 Right.

Speaker 169 Right. Only a person with

Speaker 143 147.

Speaker 23 I talking like John Wayne on the phone.

Speaker 6 Okay. What are you guys going to go with?

Speaker 30 I say one, but I really don't give a shit.

Speaker 14 My gut said two, but because of what we deduced, I'm going to go with Tim and I would agree with Wayne.

Speaker 17 What you want, but you think I'm going to stick with two.

Speaker 161 Yeah,

Speaker 100 well more fun doesn't mean it's true no but then again I don't I don't know this man so I have no idea whether you have one more thing if we do something if we do this if we win or lose it doesn't mean the Kardashians lose not going to this is not going to make the curator lose

Speaker 6 what do you guys want to go with two or one

Speaker 23 I say one but whatever all right well these guys are going with if they're both going with one so I'll have to go with them you're gonna you're gonna okay well I'm not gonna break with them all right yeah okay

Speaker 82 two two two which one was it? Get him.

Speaker 166 I like to drop obscure movie lines in the voices.

Speaker 75 Oh, my.

Speaker 78 Oh, no.

Speaker 130 I'm reeling.

Speaker 16 I'm reeling.

Speaker 24 You can't see it as a listener.

Speaker 6 I did everything I can to help you guys.

Speaker 43 I told you who you were dealing with. You did.
You did.

Speaker 150 I gave it to you.

Speaker 16 You did.

Speaker 67 None of us said three.

Speaker 161 That's exactly why you should have known.

Speaker 16 There was three. Yeah.

Speaker 45 Fucking fuck.

Speaker 166 They say humor is an aphrodisiac, which I think you guys would know.

Speaker 67 Yeah,

Speaker 67 a show where you're funny.

Speaker 23 Yeah, but it's got to be funny.

Speaker 166 I don't go full in right away.

Speaker 161 I

Speaker 166 solely

Speaker 38 bring them in.

Speaker 23 Attempted humor is not an aphrodisiac.

Speaker 14 Wait, so the girl on the other line is listening to this?

Speaker 166 Yeah.

Speaker 67 She's got no choice. She clashes her.

Speaker 62 It is. Does she know?

Speaker 46 Flattering herself.

Speaker 166 Yeah, usually yes.

Speaker 14 Wait, so she's flattering herself. Take my my advice, like, they've been in the bathtub before, no, try Jack Philanthropy and Tammer, so no offense, but the girl is pleasuring herself to

Speaker 158 uh

Speaker 6 Barney Fife, yeah.

Speaker 11 I mean, like,

Speaker 30 she has spying on her,

Speaker 166 that's his deal,

Speaker 17 just

Speaker 14 Z-rated impressions of antiquated celebrities.

Speaker 84 Do you do anybody in the last century?

Speaker 23 Well, but Senator William was a Kirk Douglas in there.

Speaker 165 I want a Kirk Douglas

Speaker 25 current Kirk Douglas.

Speaker 6 I think, to be fair, what happens on the other end?

Speaker 39 He's like, I could never tell a lie.

Speaker 6 I think what happens on the other end is she doesn't know what he's doing, but she's just

Speaker 170 funny.

Speaker 6 Yeah, she just thinks he's doing funny voices.

Speaker 23 But to him,

Speaker 6 he's working an act.

Speaker 29 Frank Gorshin's amazing.

Speaker 40 Yeah, Frank Gorshin.

Speaker 73 What's the coup de grace? What gets her there?

Speaker 166 Yo, I have to meet the, you know, I have to know the girl for a little bit before I finally figure out.

Speaker 14 Oh, this isn't Phone Sex Operator?

Speaker 147 Oh, I thought it was phone sex operator.

Speaker 16 Wait a minute, wait, wait, wait.

Speaker 83 I know we're running.

Speaker 116 $299 a minute.

Speaker 166 I tend to get into long-distance relationships.

Speaker 14 Oh, so you just so I just, I'm not even, genuinely, you have done that. You have done that for real with a real person

Speaker 14 in your life. And they listened and

Speaker 166 eventually not. And they stayed the night?

Speaker 38 I was so wow, I thought that was somebody.

Speaker 159 No, no, no. Okay.

Speaker 172 Wow.

Speaker 67 Wow.

Speaker 161 Wow.

Speaker 30 That's a lot to unpack there.

Speaker 23 Someday I'll tell you about the lion's head story. But that'll be for the next episode, guys.

Speaker 170 Would you implement that?

Speaker 6 Would you put any of you guys take that into and maybe do it on you and make it part of your repertoire?

Speaker 14 I have enough trouble getting erection as it is.

Speaker 16 Yeah.

Speaker 161 Whatever works. Wow.

Speaker 84 So we have a chance to win it right now.

Speaker 6 No, but it's more. There's another segment after this.
Yeah?

Speaker 38 Yeah.

Speaker 154 So you're going to be going to get it.

Speaker 17 But wait, but if we win, if we get another point, the only thing the next segment can do is tie.

Speaker 73 Let us tie.

Speaker 6 No, there's more gimmick to know you questions.

Speaker 120 Oh,

Speaker 28 let's go.

Speaker 29 What is the score?

Speaker 6 There's 50 of them. It's Ty game right now.

Speaker 61 No,

Speaker 9 there's only four.

Speaker 151 Get him.

Speaker 30 Here all night, boys. Doors locked.

Speaker 39 The 100 impressions of Get him.

Speaker 42 All right, Gim.

Speaker 40 What was the one that got him?

Speaker 11 I mean, we...

Speaker 153 Vincent Price.

Speaker 38 That's the one. What a closer.

Speaker 40 John Williams. What's the closer?

Speaker 166 The dude depends on the girl and movies that we've seen. And I kind of know what her

Speaker 166 thing is. Yeah, so I try to like steer it back to things that we've seen before.

Speaker 16 And Ralph Roth.

Speaker 29 Benji.

Speaker 17 The night they watched Faces in Depth was not great.

Speaker 6 Okay, for Team Bry,

Speaker 6 Q, and now Sunday Jeff has joined the team.

Speaker 6 I don't know if you guys remember, but in episode 300, we asked this question: name a household item that you once or still find erotic. And the answer was a birdhouse.

Speaker 6 So I asked him, name.

Speaker 74 All butts are all, of course.

Speaker 46 Anyone's game.

Speaker 38 Anything can happen now.

Speaker 6 So I asked him, name another household item, not a birdhouse, that you find

Speaker 6 once or still do erotic.

Speaker 38 And what

Speaker 6 so what are the household items that you find erotic?

Speaker 166 A sink/slash strain.

Speaker 150 Get it?

Speaker 10 B,

Speaker 166 patio umbrella, or C, a coat rack.

Speaker 86 Oh, good luck.

Speaker 25 All right, the sink/slash drain,

Speaker 25 that seems almost too obvious, right?

Speaker 23 Yeah, and the patio umbrellas.

Speaker 14 You guys have a better chance of guessing the Pythagorean theory.

Speaker 6 So this game comes from, like, I spend more time with him than anybody else here at the table. So it...

Speaker 6 for now months and months going on a year every day almost together he has come out and told me this did you ever feel like that?

Speaker 25 Unprovoked? Yeah.

Speaker 6 I just keep it in mind

Speaker 166 for a moment like this. Stuff pops up on the love boat or TV.

Speaker 38 Yeah,

Speaker 154 you might have a lawsuit on your hands.

Speaker 25 What was the last one again?

Speaker 70 What was the last one again?

Speaker 166 A coat rack.

Speaker 157 The love boat.

Speaker 25 Because there's coat hangers on there.

Speaker 30 Is there like a story about somebody fucking a birdhouse on a boat?

Speaker 4 No, no, no. This is

Speaker 166 other stuff.

Speaker 6 It's pretty obvious why he finds the birdhouse. Yeah.
Yeah.

Speaker 174 The birds.

Speaker 16 Although it's the hole.

Speaker 29 the drain is

Speaker 60 driving.

Speaker 17 The sink is an obvious one.

Speaker 23 This is what I do with my time.

Speaker 16 I come out of the house for the first time.

Speaker 16 I sit fucking locked down.

Speaker 39 And I come and die of COVID because of that.

Speaker 82 This is the best time I've had in five years.

Speaker 17 The drain, I mean, it's an obvious one because it's wet and it's circulating.

Speaker 175 It sucks down fluids.

Speaker 17 Do you have an incinerator in your sink do you have a sink

Speaker 46 right now no but i did

Speaker 100 oh i got a garbage disposal across the order not have a garbage disposal

Speaker 14 because that probably would do it's the second one yes the umbrella

Speaker 6 patio patio umbrella yeah

Speaker 176 it's gotta go with what do you think what are you thinking sundae i'm actually thinking coat rack because i saw him when it was like remember the coat rack he he wouldn't let that go man it's just like it was like a child.

Speaker 176 He was trying to save a child that was on life support.

Speaker 45 The thing broke a million times.

Speaker 176 He kept, he would not give up on that thing.

Speaker 4 I think he fucked it. So that's what this is.

Speaker 16 I mean, that's the only thing now with Nicky out of those three.

Speaker 147 I got to go with something, Justin.

Speaker 176 I mean, if he saw the look of lust in his eyes, he would not let it go. And he told me every way.

Speaker 5 Like, check out look at the song, man, man.

Speaker 16 It's not going anywhere now.

Speaker 68 That's what I'm saying.

Speaker 89 I wonder how it got broken to to begin with.

Speaker 150 Yeah, this coat rack's going to do what I tell you.

Speaker 161 I think you fucked it.

Speaker 14 Are you panosexual when you're attracted to inanimate objects?

Speaker 154 Yeah, I think you're

Speaker 154 everything, right?

Speaker 6 I don't want to paint a picture that he's like

Speaker 170 never turned on by.

Speaker 6 No, no, I know.

Speaker 139 He's fixing it.

Speaker 16 He's not a friend of the question.

Speaker 6 He just said it in passing.

Speaker 151 Sure, sure, sure.

Speaker 6 I'll go with Coat Rack. What do you want, Bri?

Speaker 25 I mean, there's no answer that I can point out and be like, what are you guys stupid? It's obviously this.

Speaker 67 You didn't pick the umbrella.

Speaker 25 So, I mean, yeah, I mean, if you have experience watching him molest a coat rack, I forgot that you

Speaker 6 remember that coat rack that he just would not throw away.

Speaker 176 Came in, check out this dial I got.

Speaker 35 It's perfect size.

Speaker 6 The amount of

Speaker 6 time and care he put into repairing that coat rack using that foster bit, yeah.

Speaker 71 Definitely fucked it.

Speaker 6 You can support my weight now, right?

Speaker 67 He kept saying, Yeah,

Speaker 179 stealth through it now.

Speaker 25 He started doing a Barney Fife impression to it.

Speaker 16 You ever heard that?

Speaker 45 Howdy, partner.

Speaker 179 Ready to get mounted?

Speaker 169 Let's go coat rack.

Speaker 67 Coat rack.

Speaker 6 Reveal it. Get him.

Speaker 166 It is drain slash sinks.

Speaker 29 Oh,

Speaker 46 obvious.

Speaker 166 That the spiral, the Coriolis effect.

Speaker 23 Oh, fuck yeah.

Speaker 166 The clearing of it, it's just, and that sound it makes that

Speaker 178 sucks down

Speaker 143 food waste.

Speaker 87 You're not mixing this up with a toilet, are you?

Speaker 167 Guys, I brought Sal Addy.

Speaker 23 You know what's good when it gets kind of clogged and then you think it's going to be clogged and then all of a sudden it all rushes down.

Speaker 14 I never had as much fun as I do on this podcast.

Speaker 6 What do you think? What are your thoughts on a backed up sync?

Speaker 166 It's got to get cleared.

Speaker 140 A plus B, we'll see, babe.

Speaker 106 I'm the guy to do it.

Speaker 89 What are you fucking stupid?

Speaker 6 So no points. And I think it's three to two.

Speaker 6 Team Bry, Q, and Jeff. So that's, you guys got a one-point lead right here.

Speaker 100 Okay. So this is a point.

Speaker 30 I thought we were tied.

Speaker 14 Because didn't we win the first two rounds?

Speaker 6 It was 1-1 after Purveyors posers. It was 1-1 after

Speaker 6 What's on the Menu and 1-2-3.

Speaker 6 And then you guys got the song. Oh, it is tied.
It is tied.

Speaker 6 All right. So it's 3-3.

Speaker 60 You had

Speaker 16 a major, major.

Speaker 151 I had plenty of jobs.

Speaker 16 Believe me.

Speaker 164 Oh, God.

Speaker 100 I'm writing fucking raps about Toho characters.

Speaker 16 Oh, my God. Believe believe it.

Speaker 67 He's a cat wrangler.

Speaker 6 Ready, get him? This is for Team Tim, Sal, and Dave.

Speaker 41 Okay.

Speaker 6 An unlikely lust object.

Speaker 154 Are you sure about that?

Speaker 145 You guys want to huddle?

Speaker 62 Looking at question four?

Speaker 6 Oh, yes, you're right. Thank you, Giddam.

Speaker 6 A time I masturbate it for reasons not sexually motivated.

Speaker 143 At one point,

Speaker 50 how's that even ready?

Speaker 16 How's it even possible?

Speaker 9 You masturbate

Speaker 23 plumbing issue.

Speaker 84 Some sort of mechanical.

Speaker 6 We'll find out.

Speaker 38 Okay.

Speaker 166 Right. A,

Speaker 38 to stay awake on a long ride trip, a long road trip.

Speaker 166 B, to sell sperm in college.

Speaker 166 Or C, to measure if I produce the average amount of semen according to a Cosmo Teen article that I read.

Speaker 168 Dave's mouth tripped over.

Speaker 122 Yeah. The jaw drop.

Speaker 24 Well, they're all good.

Speaker 166 You measured like in a little like.

Speaker 14 You just measured the actual fluid ounces or the actual, like the actual

Speaker 166 density. Motility.
Yeah, I didn't mention the motility.

Speaker 17 Not motility of fertility. No, no, no.

Speaker 166 I just measured the.

Speaker 154 It doesn't have a lab.

Speaker 6 Yeah.

Speaker 176 Sucking it down, not thick enough.

Speaker 167 In this article, it's just having a coat rack.

Speaker 16 For God's sake.

Speaker 14 Okay, so it's quantifiable amounts. Yes.

Speaker 14 And then there was one was to stay awake during a road trip, and the other one was to get money in college. Yes.

Speaker 71 Wow.

Speaker 23 I would go with three.

Speaker 14 Knowing him.

Speaker 55 Yeah.

Speaker 29 Actually, I don't know him that way.

Speaker 3 Not knowing him.

Speaker 43 But he's reading Teen Cosmo.

Speaker 16 No, my ex did.

Speaker 38 She was a teen when we started going out.

Speaker 23 I can see how

Speaker 153 that would be amusing.

Speaker 30 And, you know, kind of like, I want to know if I'm normal. Yep.

Speaker 174 Well, not.

Speaker 11 But he's not going to have that.

Speaker 38 You should never even ask.

Speaker 14 Well, I mean, selling sperm seeds are the obvious one.

Speaker 14 Staying awake during a road trip, that's wild.

Speaker 164 Who are you behind the wheel? Sleep.

Speaker 101 Was it just you on the road

Speaker 166 wouldn't have the opposite effect yeah i would pull i was uh traveling from uh pennsylvania to new jersey

Speaker 166 and there was a um there was like a brewery that was on the side of the road and the like the big uh copper kettles and i would use that as my reference point to pull over and do it so that i could stay awake you know for the rest of the trip it was a bird house at the halfway market did you just say that one was true no he's trying to tell trying to he's trying to only one is only one is true and he's trying to like uh oh he's telling the web he's spinning the web is this true what he just told you or something he's doing what you actually has it backed up a little bit.

Speaker 14 Okay.

Speaker 120 Hear me out, guys.

Speaker 14 Dave Temp.

Speaker 17 I'm all here.

Speaker 14 After you ejaculate, don't you get tired? Yes.

Speaker 67 That's why I think that's it.

Speaker 23 Or more like a bologna sandwich.

Speaker 30 I'd say one is out.

Speaker 14 Yeah.

Speaker 30 Yeah, I think that's it. And two makes the most sense,

Speaker 30 but not get him sense.

Speaker 30 Three makes the most sense,

Speaker 30 I think. But I mean, I'm just, I don't know.

Speaker 60 Sounds like the most.

Speaker 14 He knows that we know that it's a whole head head game.

Speaker 30 But then the last one, too, like the drain was what he picked.

Speaker 43 And that was the obvious choice.

Speaker 14 Right.

Speaker 6 Fuck, I don't know. What do you think, Dave?

Speaker 6 What's your thoughts on this one?

Speaker 23 Yeah, after you, I mean, the most fun. I'm going to go with the most fun because sex things are weird because you could, you know what I mean?

Speaker 23 It's just rearranged, but somebody's going to find something normal with someone. So I have no gauge on this man, this incredibly smart man.

Speaker 23 Talks to women over the phone in John Wayne voice.

Speaker 73 It

Speaker 23 seems to get laid.

Speaker 6 When was the last time that actually worked, though? When was the last time you dropped the John Wayne voice?

Speaker 156 Not in 2010.

Speaker 38 Before 2020.

Speaker 171 Before everybody found out he was a racist.

Speaker 92 John Wayne, John Wayne.

Speaker 38 The Playboy article.

Speaker 16 We need an answer.

Speaker 1 Three, three, four.

Speaker 6 The Cosmoteen article spurred him on to see if he could

Speaker 6 fill the beaker or the test tube?

Speaker 166 Test tube, yeah. Okay.

Speaker 6 Reveal what it was, Kenny.

Speaker 166 It was actually number one. Oh!

Speaker 4 How did that keep you awake?

Speaker 166 Because I guess the increased breathing for the process just infused me with oxygen.

Speaker 67 Yeah, but

Speaker 23 obviously, yeah, that, but I'm talking about the after effect.

Speaker 16 Wouldn't it even roll down a window? No, no, no.

Speaker 67 After effect, maybe you're not going to be able to do it.

Speaker 166 I tried that. I would stop at the, I think it was Coffee.

Speaker 173 That's how you infuse oxygen.

Speaker 14 You just hit the fucking window down.

Speaker 166 I would stop at the amico station in in Carlisle and get coffee, but it still wasn't enough. Like, I would start getting like eye droppy

Speaker 154 bologna on the side of the fucking hockey.

Speaker 6 Now, Ava, you, I told now, we I knew, I remember that story, yeah, I knew that. Yeah, that's why you guys didn't weren't able to have that story.
It was a good catch.

Speaker 14 I mean, doing that right there, it's probably as risky as falling asleep behind the window.

Speaker 166 You get clocked up, it was a long, like, straight, so I could see like cars behind me. So, like, put that shit on cruise control.

Speaker 10 No, no, you would pull over.

Speaker 67 No, I would pull over.

Speaker 161 Not while I was driving, I was pulling over.

Speaker 67 Safety first. It's responsible.

Speaker 40 Safety first.

Speaker 23 Nice to know that there's guys driving around doing that.

Speaker 16 That's fucking great.

Speaker 6 So you guys.

Speaker 17 Yeah, it's impossible.

Speaker 6 This game is amazing.

Speaker 6 So you guys have the best game ever.

Speaker 6 You guys now have had two questions. No points, though, off any of you.
You know.

Speaker 173 So this is good, though.

Speaker 6 This is big for this side over here.

Speaker 67 Yeah.

Speaker 6 All right. So the final question and get them to know you, get them to know all about you.

Speaker 6 Unlikely lust objects.

Speaker 166 Unlikely lust objects.

Speaker 17 Okay, that's different from the sink and the houses.

Speaker 173 These are real people, guys.

Speaker 38 Come on.

Speaker 38 These are people. Oh, people.

Speaker 154 People.

Speaker 154 Oh, okay. All right.

Speaker 166 Number one, the Andrew Sisters.

Speaker 38 I don't think that's unlikely. They were pretty hot.

Speaker 169 Totally hot.

Speaker 38 Yeah.

Speaker 60 And I'm sure he watches them every day while he's here.

Speaker 6 Now that would be the Bugle Boy from Company C?

Speaker 36 Yeah.

Speaker 6 I cannot believe that a guy can throw out the Andrew Sisters, turns them on, and nobody, everybody's like, I can believe that.

Speaker 38 They're hot. Yeah, they're cute.
Yeah.

Speaker 6 The Andrew Sisters, some Abbott Costello.

Speaker 167 They were cute.

Speaker 28 Yeah.

Speaker 154 They had the shoulders out.

Speaker 38 They were fucking.

Speaker 23 Well, when they first came out, they were a lot younger than what the Andrew Sisters you saw.

Speaker 8 Okay. You know what I mean?

Speaker 6 I thought that was going to get more of a.

Speaker 17 No, well, I was a big Abbott Costello guy.

Speaker 16 I watched a lot of the movies.

Speaker 17 So I remember looking at them in those military dresses and stuff.

Speaker 67 Yeah, I was like, classic uniforms.

Speaker 17 I may need to take a break right now, guys.

Speaker 175 Maybe on the way home.

Speaker 150 I'm going to take a drive.

Speaker 16 You know, it's just a tire.

Speaker 166 All right, what's number two?

Speaker 38 Number two, the Weather Girls.

Speaker 45 Ooh.

Speaker 166 Which was not their original name, but they adopted that name after their song.

Speaker 29 It's raining. It's raining men.

Speaker 11 It's raining men.

Speaker 38 I mean, I don't know what they look like, but based on the reaction. Big girl friends over here.

Speaker 67 Big girls. Big girls.

Speaker 158 I ain't going with that.

Speaker 16 Volumpsch.

Speaker 38 Volupsh.

Speaker 11 Yeah.

Speaker 163 It was Zoft pick.

Speaker 166 Nancy Walker.

Speaker 170 I don't know if you guys know what it is. What the hell is up?

Speaker 6 I don't know if you guys know who Nancy Walker is.

Speaker 166 She was the housemaid.

Speaker 166 Housemaid? Housekeeper. Housekeeper on Macmillan and wife.

Speaker 172 So I still know what Macmillan and Wife.

Speaker 151 It was a show with Rock Hudson.

Speaker 28 Yeah.

Speaker 9 She was.

Speaker 50 Sal's gone. We lost Sal.
Sal's gone.

Speaker 4 Nancy.

Speaker 38 Blame them.

Speaker 175 She's also

Speaker 6 the bounty lady in the song.

Speaker 23 Who's a bounty or sharp?

Speaker 43 Okay, that's

Speaker 62 bounty, definitely.

Speaker 6 Nancy Walker. She also directed Can't Stop the Music.

Speaker 38 Yeah, the World People.

Speaker 169 You're going to be pretty. She's the only person who's going to be a little bit more.

Speaker 16 Oh my God.

Speaker 13 Now you're fine.

Speaker 67 Joe, Joe.

Speaker 16 You do?

Speaker 163 That's Nancy Walker. That's Nancy Walker.

Speaker 157 Bounty Walker.

Speaker 168 Bounty.

Speaker 38 How old are you?

Speaker 156 42.

Speaker 6 But he spends all his days with me, though, so I just force him to watch all these old 70s shows.

Speaker 67 Hot damn.

Speaker 6 She was Rhoda's mother.

Speaker 11 Yeah, right?

Speaker 154 Current?

Speaker 17 Is that her?

Speaker 6 She might not be with us any longer.

Speaker 67 Okay, it doesn't look like it.

Speaker 62 Kind of like Giddam.

Speaker 14 Wow, boys.

Speaker 6 So we got the Andrew sisters.

Speaker 167 Wow.

Speaker 6 The Weather Girls are Nancy Walker.

Speaker 66 It can't be Nancy Walker.

Speaker 25 I feel like it can't be Nancy Walker, and he's never, I've never heard Giddem talk about a love of heavy-set women, but I know he's into Doris Day.

Speaker 23 If he's into Doris Day, it's the Antio Sisters. Yeah, I think Doris Day is so much hotter.
You like Doris Day?

Speaker 6 We love Doris Day. We watch it constantly.

Speaker 6 Amazing. She's amazing.
Amazing TV show.

Speaker 23 And she was a superhuman. You know what I mean? She was just like...

Speaker 6 I have an, yeah, she's before she died.

Speaker 6 Apparently, she sent me the last autographed photo before she died.

Speaker 6 Yeah. My friend requested, I didn't know he was doing it for me.
He and he said, he requested an autographed photo from her. And then, like, a week later, she died.

Speaker 9 After signatures

Speaker 16 on there's Santa Fe.

Speaker 17 That's like that asshole did to George Harrison.

Speaker 166 If you sign it, I'll make it quick.

Speaker 35 I mean,

Speaker 17 even get him.

Speaker 14 Guys,

Speaker 17 when

Speaker 35 I mean

Speaker 17 this woman there's attractive.

Speaker 145 I'm actually going to be satisfactory for the first time in my life.

Speaker 17 But Andrew says I don't think he's unlikely.

Speaker 43 I think there would come.

Speaker 45 I think it's more, I think it's more likely.

Speaker 61 It has to be.

Speaker 17 It has to be, right?

Speaker 169 It's got to be. I mean, I hope it is.

Speaker 71 It's not going to be.

Speaker 38 What do you guys think? I don't know.

Speaker 25 But earlier, we thought, like, oh, it would have to be the sync, but is it the same thing?

Speaker 17 It's like a four-way element to the Andrew sisters that I think Giddam would enjoy.

Speaker 17 You could probably do imitations of their friends.

Speaker 117 We're like, I'm back,

Speaker 102 check them out,

Speaker 6 like stuff like that.

Speaker 172 That boy!

Speaker 67 Spanking time!

Speaker 3 It's more curly.

Speaker 38 It's more curly.

Speaker 25 Let's think about this.

Speaker 25 Which of those women is most likely to dominate him? Since he says that's what he likes?

Speaker 6 Military women.

Speaker 101 Oh, no, that's something.

Speaker 16 Is that what you said? That's something.

Speaker 22 Oh, that was the wrong answer. Oh, okay.

Speaker 161 Like a girl who can clean up.

Speaker 6 Sunday, what do you think it is? You haven't weighed in?

Speaker 169 I ain't got a clue what his stool is.

Speaker 16 Yeah, he's a good one. He stayed away from it.

Speaker 11 He's like, I don't want to know.

Speaker 16 It's getting late.

Speaker 73 That's the other thing. I don't want to know.

Speaker 17 For the love of God, let's just hope it's the Andrew Sister.

Speaker 25 It's got to be the Andrew Sister.

Speaker 16 It's got to be the Andrew Sisters.

Speaker 6 Andrew Sisters is what they have chosen.

Speaker 166 Oh, sorry to say it's Nancy Walker.

Speaker 93 Everything for redheads.

Speaker 43 I don't even want to be in the room with this guy anymore.

Speaker 16 Yes!

Speaker 166 That sassy attitude she always had towards Mr.

Speaker 166 Commissioner McMillan?

Speaker 25 She looks like somebody's grandma.

Speaker 163 She looks like somebody's grandma.

Speaker 6 We did say it was an unlikely lust object, though.

Speaker 173 So it wasn't like

Speaker 6 he realized it was unlikely.

Speaker 166 And then they made her look good for TV.

Speaker 67 So they were still young.

Speaker 9 Yes, they did.

Speaker 6 It's still a tie, which means we're going to our next segment. Come on.

Speaker 6 And this is a family feud segment. Gidam, you're not able to play, so it's three on three.

Speaker 6 And real quick, quick, we'll get right into it. So it's just right down the line.
We're going to give the first

Speaker 6 question to Team

Speaker 6 Dave, Sal,

Speaker 6 and Tim. So if you get it wrong, you get an X, and then you guys can steal it.
This is worth five points.

Speaker 14 Oh, wait, so we're only doing one.

Speaker 6 You get one. We're not going to do like who, you know, you guys just have control of the board.

Speaker 6 And I'm going to read it to you, and then Dave has to answer. If he gets it right, I check it off.
If you get three strikes, then they got it.

Speaker 17 So we resume the final round of Family Feud.

Speaker 171 Okay.

Speaker 6 So this one's good. First one up is Dave.
So you got to have an answer.

Speaker 176 Top 10 answers are on the board.

Speaker 6 This is the top six or seven.

Speaker 6 Other than baby Hitler,

Speaker 6 name another baby. People would be okay traveling back in time and killing.

Speaker 73 Wow. Wow.

Speaker 14 Wait, is this several?

Speaker 170 Who's you surveying?

Speaker 100 I went out at Airport Plaza

Speaker 6 and I asked people.

Speaker 50 Who does this plaza?

Speaker 73 No, wait, wait, you're making a joke.

Speaker 6 No, I went out at Airport Plaza and I picked young people and I'd be like, hey, I'm doing a survey. Would you.
Nobody called the cops? Nobody called the cops. And I didn't get 100 people, though.

Speaker 6 Okay. And there's no way I could do 100.
But I got like 10 answers.

Speaker 38 You put in the work.

Speaker 119 Yeah.

Speaker 14 So this is the top six answers of the top 10 answers.

Speaker 6 So other than baby Hitler, what's another baby? You could steal on that. People could

Speaker 6 be okay.

Speaker 23 People would be okay. Killing.
Well, like any American president.

Speaker 16 Next name one.

Speaker 23 But would it be Trump?

Speaker 139 No, well. Trump.
Trump?

Speaker 28 Yeah.

Speaker 6 Let's see. Donald Trump.

Speaker 93 Number one answer.

Speaker 37 Oh, wow.

Speaker 132 Nice, Dave.

Speaker 63 He's a horrible beast.

Speaker 57 It's not hard.

Speaker 14 You ask a different cross-sectional people, or was it only young people?

Speaker 6 I only asked people I thought that wouldn't like that would shoot you in the face. Yeah, like, I wouldn't, I would size them up.

Speaker 6 I'm not going to ask this old-timer. He's

Speaker 6 going to, he's going to not be happy or be quite like.

Speaker 16 Kill a baby?

Speaker 3 Why?

Speaker 168 Why are you in bed?

Speaker 38 I tried to kill Hitler in WW2.

Speaker 166 Listen to Dominion Andrew's sisters.

Speaker 6 Oh, Jesus. All right, Sal.
So, Trump is off the board.

Speaker 14 If they can go back and kill this person, a baby. A baby of this person.
Go back and kill the baby of Pol Pop.

Speaker 16 Yes, yes.

Speaker 14 Okay, so

Speaker 14 you would say that you guys mostly young people then?

Speaker 6 In between 20 and 40.

Speaker 28 Oh, okay. Okay.

Speaker 150 Baby.

Speaker 14 I guess it gotta go baby Stalin.

Speaker 6 Baby Stalin.

Speaker 28 Yeah.

Speaker 23 Let's see. Oh, he certainly deserves it.

Speaker 6 Baby Stalin.

Speaker 6 Strike one.

Speaker 7 Oh,

Speaker 25 Tim.

Speaker 25 Fuck.

Speaker 31 Oh, can we talk or not?

Speaker 6 No, you can't. Only on a steel can you talk.

Speaker 149 I don't know. Shit.

Speaker 6 You need a, yeah, like, if you watch any feud, you're on your own on this.

Speaker 6 Going back in time, the baby's in the crib.

Speaker 16 Pole pot.

Speaker 6 How are you going to do it?

Speaker 6 You're going to just snuff them? You're going to shoot it? Are you going to kick it?

Speaker 25 I'm going to give it to get him as an unlikely lust object.

Speaker 169 Baby Nixon.

Speaker 6 Baby Nixon.

Speaker 6 Strike two.

Speaker 38 Oh, I need to

Speaker 144 big ideas.

Speaker 98 Back to Dave.

Speaker 6 Hopefully, Dave is. Dave, you were thinking.

Speaker 6 I I know you were because you were shouting it out.

Speaker 23 Yeah, and now you're thinking of other

Speaker 6 babies other than Trump.

Speaker 137 It wouldn't be him.

Speaker 23 It's so hard because the American memory is really, really short, you know.

Speaker 23 So,

Speaker 23 yeah, I'd like to say Pol Pot, but it's not going to be Polt. They don't even know who fucking Pol Pot is.

Speaker 145 20 to 40 fucking people.

Speaker 60 What? 20 to 40.

Speaker 25 You're dealing with a whole different demographic.

Speaker 6 Pol Pot's not your most famous of

Speaker 7 Pol Pot.

Speaker 166 Was he and we did start the fire?

Speaker 23 I think Paul Pott might be in, yeah, I mean, the Khmer Rouge. Um, all right,

Speaker 23 Trump.

Speaker 164 Who else do they hate now?

Speaker 23 I make it easy to say Joe Biden. Well,

Speaker 73 kill Joe Biden, too.

Speaker 4 Uh,

Speaker 6 I'm letting the timer go.

Speaker 61 No, I am.

Speaker 89 He's our guest.

Speaker 6 He's a guest.

Speaker 104 No, no, no. We're in it.

Speaker 6 I know you guys know it. Yeah.
Okay.

Speaker 178 I've heard about it.

Speaker 11 But they get one and they win?

Speaker 6 Well, they steal it. They don't don't win it, though, because there's another one.

Speaker 23 Okay. All right.
I don't know. I'm missing some obvious thing.
It might be some show business person.

Speaker 23 Oh,

Speaker 23 well, Osama bin Laden's Osama bin Laden.

Speaker 6 Osama bin Laden, yes, number two.

Speaker 1 Oh,

Speaker 1 yes.

Speaker 16 Shit.

Speaker 6 Sal,

Speaker 6 there's still four inches on the board, though.

Speaker 158 I have three guesses. Okay.

Speaker 161 Yeah. Well, we're still alive.
live.

Speaker 17 We got an answer. We're just worried that's not going to take you.

Speaker 14 I have three guesses, and I don't know which way to go.

Speaker 38 I'm going to go

Speaker 14 to more obvious guest

Speaker 14 guess. Because I wanted to get to wait.
Maybe I should go. No, I wanted to get to you.

Speaker 46 I'll go

Speaker 14 baby R. Kelly.

Speaker 15 Ooh.

Speaker 38 I don't know about that one.

Speaker 6 That's an odd choice. And unfortunately, it's strike three.

Speaker 10 So

Speaker 6 you guys can steal it.

Speaker 167 And if you don't steal it, you guys get the points.

Speaker 6 All right, we think we got it.

Speaker 23 I think we all agree. Yes, you should have.
Yeah, it would have been nice. Yeah, man.

Speaker 17 I think you owe your instinct on this one, bud.

Speaker 25 We're going to go with baby Ted Bundy.

Speaker 6 Baby Ted Bundy?

Speaker 6 Four big five points. Baby Ted Bundy?

Speaker 16 So it's over.

Speaker 37 Damn it.

Speaker 46 No, it's not over.

Speaker 6 No, so we guess. You guys get the points.

Speaker 28 Okay, but this round is over.

Speaker 6 No, No, they get the chance to go to control the board, too.

Speaker 46 But with this question, you got the points.

Speaker 163 But with this question, it's over.

Speaker 67 Yes, I'm going to tell you who it was.

Speaker 17 Casey was on there? No.

Speaker 82 Oh, because we were going to say baby John Wayne Gacy, too.

Speaker 14 Baby de Blasio? No.

Speaker 25 Baby Mark Zuckerberg?

Speaker 167 It's pretty obvious, but it's obvious because I haven't.

Speaker 6 Baby Chris Christie? Harvey Weinstein.

Speaker 89 Harvey Weinstein.

Speaker 128 I was right there with R.

Speaker 122 Kelly.

Speaker 1 He was right there.

Speaker 21 Really, right there.

Speaker 6 Kim

Speaker 66 Kill or Jill.

Speaker 16 Kim Jong-un.

Speaker 6 And this one nobody was ever going to get. Genghis Khan, somebody told me.
No, he said he said Genghis Khan?

Speaker 133 He said Genghis Khan.

Speaker 46 Half the population of the earth.

Speaker 63 Really?

Speaker 6 Oh, because he did a lot

Speaker 14 of people. Kim Khan, R.

Speaker 31 Kelly, John Wayne, Gacy, and Bill DeBossi.

Speaker 3 Really funny to put that to my band, my ass.

Speaker 67 Damn.

Speaker 7 Super group.

Speaker 92 All right. All right.

Speaker 6 So you got five points on that. So you guys got eight now.

Speaker 6 And now you guys have control of a family feud question now. Yeah.
And it is,

Speaker 6 name a reason people hate Tom Brady. Sunday, you're up first.

Speaker 14 How many answers on the board, please?

Speaker 6 How many answers? Same amount as you guys, seven.

Speaker 169 I'm going to say because he's a cheater.

Speaker 6 Give me a break.

Speaker 23 Is that old-fashioned?

Speaker 28 Did you ask people about this?

Speaker 70 We're not going to put that one on.

Speaker 6 Is he a cheater? Is it up there?

Speaker 178 Yeah, number three.

Speaker 6 Yes, it's up there.

Speaker 6 I'm surprised that wasn't.

Speaker 6 Yeah, I wanted to

Speaker 16 admit it.

Speaker 16 He's not cheating.

Speaker 38 Oh, you're a fan? I'm a big fan.

Speaker 23 You could have seen the head out there?

Speaker 92 It's got ampo up.

Speaker 46 It's got lipstick marks all over the face.

Speaker 151 Turn around and you'll see Tom Brady.

Speaker 100 See that little head with the hat on? 3D printed head.

Speaker 83 That's Tom Brady, yeah.

Speaker 6 No, I'm a big Tom Brady fan.

Speaker 6 I think he's a superhuman okay i don't think he's i don't think he's a human being actually okay uh i'm gonna say hot wife hot wife yes it's up there married to a supermark

Speaker 173 number two answer there you go right

Speaker 25 no strikes he uh wins too much

Speaker 6 he wins all the time slash too many super bowls number one answer

Speaker 6 that's where it gets back to jeff this

Speaker 176 how many how many more we gotta go four two more

Speaker 6 oh no no three more three more the last

Speaker 6 seven i know well

Speaker 6 no, one, two, three more. Okay.

Speaker 100 So we've got...

Speaker 14 Top six answers on the board.

Speaker 6 We've got too many Super Bowls.

Speaker 100 Married two Super Bowls.

Speaker 176 People think he's too damn good looking.

Speaker 93 Not me. Not me.

Speaker 6 He's too handsome. Number two answer.

Speaker 99 Oh. No strikes.
All right.

Speaker 110 I'm starting to believe I'm a Brady fan.

Speaker 14 That would be my first four guesses, so maybe let's see what happens now.

Speaker 17 I'm going to say because he kisses his son on the lips.

Speaker 122 That's good.

Speaker 37 I would remember that.

Speaker 6 Strike one. Oh,

Speaker 6 can you imagine that? People hating on it because he's affectionate to his son.

Speaker 17 I can't imagine. It's how he's affectionate.
That's his son.

Speaker 16 30.

Speaker 143 13.

Speaker 38 13. Yeah.
It gets a little weird.

Speaker 28 Yeah, it gets a little weird.

Speaker 6 All right. So it's only one strike, guys.

Speaker 9 That should be on.

Speaker 116 That should be on.

Speaker 25 I'm going to go ahead and say he's because of his riches.

Speaker 25 He makes too much money? He makes too much money.

Speaker 6 It's up there.

Speaker 6 So now there is only one more answer with only one strike one yeah

Speaker 22 yes

Speaker 145 did you hear that no i didn't no i don't so

Speaker 6 that's all the five you are on fire yeah you need this what's the last thing why people hate tom brady

Speaker 6 i'll go over what we've said so far give you a little extra question he wins all the time slash too many super bowls he's too handsome He's married to a supermodel.

Speaker 158 He cheats.

Speaker 6 He makes too much money. That's a little bit of an easier question.
One

Speaker 6 answer on the board.

Speaker 67 Then who would you go back?

Speaker 14 Who would you go back in time and kill the baby of?

Speaker 60 Or why do people hate?

Speaker 99 Fans definitely

Speaker 6 would go back and kill Tom Brady.

Speaker 167 And Atlanta Falcons fans.

Speaker 14 One of our answers was Genghis Khan.

Speaker 14 One of your answers was he has a lot of money.

Speaker 176 I guess Patriots fans probably weren't happy they went to another team.

Speaker 6 He left New England.

Speaker 130 He left left New England and got about two.

Speaker 78 They're running the board.

Speaker 6 Strike two. Oh!

Speaker 63 Wow.

Speaker 6 So it's up to Q.

Speaker 63 Oh, I'm not going to pull it.

Speaker 3 Wow, that was.

Speaker 6 Sorry, we got dyslexia.

Speaker 145 I wouldn't totally.

Speaker 37 Oh, no.

Speaker 78 I got this stuff.

Speaker 142 Fuck.

Speaker 25 Well, we got the points if they don't get it, too.

Speaker 154 Oh, that's right.

Speaker 6 Yeah, if they don't get the answer, you can get it.

Speaker 67 And we're still tied, though.

Speaker 100 We're still toughly confident, though.

Speaker 89 Yeah, there's only one answer. So you guys

Speaker 14 now I have to dig deep because that was

Speaker 45 what I was thinking.

Speaker 146 Well, is to say

Speaker 17 they're fans of other teams, is that

Speaker 17 similar to an answer that we

Speaker 17 wins too much?

Speaker 154 Could that be considered the same thing?

Speaker 6 He wins all the time, slash too many Super Bowls, was the number one answer. So that's what I'm saying.

Speaker 17 So to say that somebody, okay.

Speaker 4 Fuck.

Speaker 4 He

Speaker 6 Stacey wants to help you.

Speaker 7 Can't.

Speaker 16 uh too sexy.

Speaker 28 Yeah. Is he right?

Speaker 30 Yeah, he's front. Yeah.

Speaker 4 What, what?

Speaker 16 Oh, I know.

Speaker 179 His shh, fuck, dude.

Speaker 82 I ain't got it.

Speaker 17 His shitty subway ads.

Speaker 6 Mm. All right.
Lacey, you know what? Sala. You took the bat off your...
You went down swinging. Yeah.
Still a strike.

Speaker 6 Team Dave, Sal, and Tim. What have you guys?

Speaker 14 Did you feel anything particular?

Speaker 23 Nothing.

Speaker 16 I don't know. I know.

Speaker 130 I hate sports.

Speaker 148 I know.

Speaker 93 You don't know who Tom Brady is?

Speaker 23 No, I have no idea. What is your quarterback? Yeah.
Okay. He's superhuman.

Speaker 89 Super NFL.

Speaker 62 Right. Superhuman.

Speaker 144 He's the oldest player in the NFL. He's a guy that cheated.

Speaker 6 He didn't cheat.

Speaker 68 A micro.

Speaker 55 Somebody.

Speaker 6 Deflate gate.

Speaker 39 Deflate gate.

Speaker 146 Okay.

Speaker 58 Around the board.

Speaker 133 No, I do not. I do not cheat.

Speaker 23 I know who he is. I know he is.

Speaker 23 But I don't, you know, I'm not like being a little bit.

Speaker 14 Well, then we're going to go with his possibly conservative,

Speaker 14 political, conservative views. The religious, political, conservative.

Speaker 28 His

Speaker 82 political views. His

Speaker 14 political views.

Speaker 30 Trump's with Trump.

Speaker 86 Well,

Speaker 14 I would say

Speaker 14 conservative views.

Speaker 14 Because

Speaker 14 I think it's a religious/slash-political thing.

Speaker 67 No, if he's correct, they win.

Speaker 6 No. No? No.
If he's correct, yeah. Well, you guys would tie.

Speaker 6 Because you guys are correct.

Speaker 150 There's so many reasons why people hate this guy.

Speaker 62 It's a beat.

Speaker 23 You can find another one.

Speaker 20 He's not going to run. We didn't get our body.

Speaker 89 Strike three.

Speaker 154 What was it?

Speaker 6 It was, he's too squeaky clean. There's no dirt on him.

Speaker 14 That one was tough.

Speaker 6 No controversies.

Speaker 167 Actually, I said that.

Speaker 87 Deflate gate is the biggest controversy in football.

Speaker 58 He's not cheating.

Speaker 6 No, somebody actually

Speaker 6 squeaky clean. I don't like him because he never gets in trouble.
Okay.

Speaker 6 No controversies.

Speaker 62 And he turns like he doesn't break any laws.

Speaker 17 It cannot come down to dyslexia.

Speaker 6 Yeah, because now it's a time.

Speaker 152 What's dyslexia?

Speaker 67 Dude, you're going to hate it.

Speaker 6 It's the final segment.

Speaker 67 It's about to ruin the whole fucking night.

Speaker 6 So there are one, two, three.

Speaker 16 You've got to look on it.

Speaker 75 Five, six, seven, eight, nine, ten.

Speaker 101 Dave, it's sleep disturbed.

Speaker 6 There's ten dyslexia questions, so five each.

Speaker 17 Come on, man. We can't do that.
We'll be here all fucking night.

Speaker 106 No, fucking question. I'm not doing it.

Speaker 64 I'm not doing it.

Speaker 17 I'm not paying 10 questions of dyslexia. I'm not doing it.

Speaker 89 I really hunt. All right, you want to do sudden death?

Speaker 6 The first person who the first person is.

Speaker 17 Oh, for God's sakes, it'll still take us 10 hours. Yes.

Speaker 93 Okay.

Speaker 6 10 dyslexia. So let me explain it.

Speaker 83 10 dyslexia.

Speaker 23 It's episode 500.

Speaker 99 I know.

Speaker 16 We want people people to listen to 501.

Speaker 24 It is literally the worst fucking thing that's ever been on the business.

Speaker 59 You shouldn't consider dances with wolves.

Speaker 6 So what dyslexia is, is it's a game I created. People love it.

Speaker 4 Nobody loves it.

Speaker 99 Nobody loves it.

Speaker 46 Except for him and get him.

Speaker 6 So what it is, is I give you guys two words. Yeah.
And you have to come up with the exact opposite of those words are.

Speaker 6 But the challenge is, is that sometimes these words don't have like you mean an antonym?

Speaker 144 Obviously. An antonym.

Speaker 6 An obvious antonym maybe isn't always there

Speaker 6 unless you use your unilateral mind and start thinking

Speaker 6 outside boxes.

Speaker 17 For instance, the opposite of a car is a horse.

Speaker 147 So put that in your fucking mind. Not a motorcycle.

Speaker 64 No. Or not a walk.

Speaker 75 Not a lot of people.

Speaker 84 Not speakers.

Speaker 17 Nothing.

Speaker 77 A horse.

Speaker 16 Okay.

Speaker 14 I love unilateral trivia games.

Speaker 109 Brain twisters.

Speaker 23 Brings me back. So you guys can confer.

Speaker 6 And so it's always two words and they make up, like, I'll give you a

Speaker 6 stationary feather.

Speaker 6 This is just an example.

Speaker 6 This is just an example. So I would give you guys stationary feather.
What is the opposite of stationary? And what is the opposite of feather?

Speaker 14 That'll be the same answer?

Speaker 6 Now the answer.

Speaker 14 In your mind, the opposite is the same answer for feather and stationary?

Speaker 113 No, no. It's two words.

Speaker 6 Stationary, you need the opposite of stationary and feather to come up with what the what the moving what the answer is. Wait, so feather is just a is another word in a feather is just a hint?

Speaker 162 No.

Speaker 147 What's the opposite of feather?

Speaker 79 Arm.

Speaker 15 Arm.

Speaker 116 Yeah, well feather is

Speaker 118 Dave sleeping.

Speaker 125 Synthetic film.

Speaker 6 So stationary feather.

Speaker 17 So mover.

Speaker 11 Feathers.

Speaker 14 Feathers, fur?

Speaker 134 Furs. Is the opposite of stationary?

Speaker 16 Wait, I'm so confused. I don't know what.

Speaker 6 No, the opposite of stationary would be rolling, and then the opposite of feathers would be stones. Rolling stones.

Speaker 120 See?

Speaker 19 See, guys?

Speaker 107 I got it. So you got it, right?

Speaker 19 The opposite of feathers. Where is mine?

Speaker 114 Two words will combine to make it a word.

Speaker 67 You are saying

Speaker 67 feathers.

Speaker 61 Completely wrong.

Speaker 6 How is feathers? Would you rather get hit with a bag full of feathers or a bag full of stones?

Speaker 17 Let's go through 10 of these now. Oh, my God.

Speaker 26 So it's just, it's just an age-old question.

Speaker 16 It's just

Speaker 73 Waltis never smoked smoked pot.

Speaker 23 He's never smoked. This is a total stoner game.

Speaker 11 This is like you know.

Speaker 14 Okay, I get it now.

Speaker 23 So they combine to make the answer.

Speaker 46 But only answers will be two words.

Speaker 84 And only in your mind are they correct.

Speaker 138 Well, yeah, nobody says that.

Speaker 26 I don't, you know, outside of it. But mind is more important.
Outside of the film, there's no criteria here.

Speaker 84 Nobody would say the opposite of feathers is stones.

Speaker 147 The worst part of it is then you are treated like a fucking asshole or idiot for not getting it.

Speaker 54 That's the worst part of it.

Speaker 169 Stationary could just be mobile.

Speaker 119 Mobile.

Speaker 46 Not always rolling.

Speaker 46 Or stationary and stuff.

Speaker 122 But since you know two-word answers.

Speaker 6 You know it has to be two words that make sense together.

Speaker 6 Mobile.

Speaker 119 How long do we have doesn't make sense?

Speaker 16 We'll be loose and goosey.

Speaker 73 That's got cots with the...

Speaker 39 Loose and goosey with the

Speaker 140 time and loose and goosey with the answers.

Speaker 6 We're going to let you guys go first. Okay.

Speaker 6 And

Speaker 6 the first one is Adonis cork.

Speaker 50 Go on.

Speaker 58 All right. Okay.

Speaker 14 I can say Adonis is an ugly duckling or a pass.

Speaker 14 Adonis is a.

Speaker 23 Yeah, Adonis is the male

Speaker 14 Max Rowlis and

Speaker 73 the ring would be Venus.

Speaker 119 Oh, okay. Maybe.

Speaker 34 I mean...

Speaker 14 Venus could be one because Venus flies. What's the second one?

Speaker 139 Cork.

Speaker 150 Cork.

Speaker 23 Okay, and the opposite of cork

Speaker 14 is a cap?

Speaker 16 There is no opposite of cork.

Speaker 134 This game sucks.

Speaker 173 It's crazy.

Speaker 162 What's the opposite of cork?

Speaker 87 No cork?

Speaker 23 Yeah, the opposite of cork is uncorked.

Speaker 155 Uncorked.

Speaker 6 So it makes sense when you hear the two words.

Speaker 46 It makes sense.

Speaker 87 And the opposites don't.

Speaker 23 Yeah, but that's the whole game.

Speaker 25 Tim, you're just not thinking unilaterally.

Speaker 23 You got to try, you got to spit a lot of stuff.

Speaker 93 Of the high intellect.

Speaker 23 All right, Adonis. Adonis.
Adonis.

Speaker 150 It was a stud, right?

Speaker 68 It was a stud.

Speaker 14 Adonis is a stud.

Speaker 23 I can't remember if Adonis was a real god. I think he was maybe a Greek god.

Speaker 11 Yeah, God, a Greek god.

Speaker 23 But I know Adonis as being just a referential to the absolute fabulous male.

Speaker 11 He's an Adonis.

Speaker 14 I think that's how he would.

Speaker 23 So, and the opposite of that would be possibly Venus.

Speaker 34 She's beautiful too, Dave.

Speaker 143 She's beautiful too, though.

Speaker 46 Well, I mean, Venus is beautiful too. Like, Steve Walker.

Speaker 9 So, what's the word?

Speaker 39 Well, what's a word that would be the opposite?

Speaker 23 Oh, the opposite. Okay, okay.

Speaker 46 Let's take a look at ugly.

Speaker 73 Right, let's talk.

Speaker 23 Let's talk about an ugly guy.

Speaker 14 Or Adonis, the opposite, would be an ugly guy. Right.

Speaker 46 Yeah. Not just the word.

Speaker 6 Awesome. People are loving this.

Speaker 103 They're all turning on the jarring up.

Speaker 23 Let's go on the first one first. Okay.
the vein of the sound. Donnie's the best-looking guy.
What's the ugliest looking?

Speaker 34 The ugliest guy.

Speaker 11 Ugliest dude.

Speaker 43 So I think it's just like Rocky Dennison.

Speaker 17 I think the track you guys are on is the wrong track.

Speaker 16 I played it. I know.

Speaker 30 I'm sure it is.

Speaker 14 Oh, what's the guy who's like, look away, I'm hideous.

Speaker 127 No Shadamis.

Speaker 16 No Shadamis.

Speaker 6 But is No Shadamis a common two-word thing you would hear? No.

Speaker 72 No.

Speaker 6 No. That's true.

Speaker 89 But what about Williams?

Speaker 146 And the answer is is Lead Zeppelin.

Speaker 151 Okay.

Speaker 28 What's the opposite of a cork?

Speaker 30 What?

Speaker 16 What the fuck is the opposite of cork?

Speaker 46 Things that are corked out.

Speaker 14 A cork is a wine, is in wine. It's a cap.
That's what it's cap.

Speaker 23 It's a material. It's cork.
It's like wood.

Speaker 14 It's the opposite to that. So it has to be the opposite of its functionality.
I don't believe it.

Speaker 133 Okay, functionality, right?

Speaker 66 This is how we go out on it.

Speaker 122 It's a stoner.

Speaker 61 You cork something.

Speaker 128 It's owner of bullshit.

Speaker 150 You seal it, right?

Speaker 70 You seal it.

Speaker 38 Wait, you guys hear it.

Speaker 6 Wait till you guys hear it. Then once you guys hear it, then I know the next question, you get it.

Speaker 23 Right, Adonis.

Speaker 14 So you cork something, you seal it. So the opposite of cork is openings.
To cork something is to open it. Uncork.
It's really the opposite.

Speaker 14 Yeah.

Speaker 30 Uncork. On anything is pretty much the opposite.
But it has to be.

Speaker 116 On Adonis.

Speaker 61 It's the opposite of Adonis.

Speaker 23 It's this guy's head. You know what I mean? It's all.

Speaker 82 Bears no.

Speaker 39 He sees corkboard like corkboard.

Speaker 14 Chalkboard.

Speaker 23 He can see it. We can only find it.

Speaker 16 Now we're getting to the point where Walt starts making annoying guys are not getting this.

Speaker 6 I think? You should play the game Cody.

Speaker 37 There it is.

Speaker 1 There it is.

Speaker 87 You should play the game coaching.

Speaker 37 Annoying right there.

Speaker 14 All right. So

Speaker 89 ugly.

Speaker 6 You need an answer.

Speaker 23 Iron Man.

Speaker 67 That's Zeppelin.

Speaker 23 Two words. Just start drawing out two word names.

Speaker 6 Look, if you fail five and we fail five, it's going to be a tie.

Speaker 152 Right.

Speaker 23 I agree with him. Let's get going.

Speaker 14 Okay. Adonis, a weakling?

Speaker 70 A weakling. Okay.

Speaker 111 What about Adonis is strong?

Speaker 84 Right, right. Right.

Speaker 14 So strong. So weak.

Speaker 6 That's what people are.

Speaker 134 This is his first time

Speaker 68 because he thinks he's going to get it.

Speaker 17 He's not going to feel this way.

Speaker 20 So if Adonis is stronnish is strong, maybe weak.

Speaker 14 Weak, and then the opposite of Cork.

Speaker 14 All right, guys. A weak opening.

Speaker 46 Yeah, that's a weak opening.

Speaker 73 Not as sorry as I am.

Speaker 93 I'll reveal it to you. Here it comes.

Speaker 9 Get ready.

Speaker 6 Adonis Cork, Monster Magnet.

Speaker 82 That makes no sense.

Speaker 9 What do you you mean?

Speaker 37 In no way.

Speaker 106 Can you make cork and magnet as opposites?

Speaker 14 I'd like to see you try.

Speaker 106 I'll make good money.

Speaker 23 I'll match it.

Speaker 86 There is no reality where that makes sense.

Speaker 6 Adonis is the opposite of a monster. You look it up right now.
I already did it.

Speaker 6 Last night I went monster. What's the opposite? And no one of the antonyms was Adonis.

Speaker 43 Okay, but cork and magnet.

Speaker 6 And I looked up magnet. There is no true antonym.

Speaker 82 So there's no trance, sir.

Speaker 6 But I was thinking, a cork doesn't attract anything.

Speaker 46 Neither does anything else.

Speaker 109 Of course.

Speaker 64 Yeah, neither does anything that's not a magnet.

Speaker 49 So we were limited to infinity on that.

Speaker 6 But since Dave was at the table, it was so painfully obvious what it was.

Speaker 90 No.

Speaker 57 Just painful. Yeah.

Speaker 58 Hold on.

Speaker 6 Your next album? Yeah. Adonis Cork.
There you go.

Speaker 68 That's one of the songs.

Speaker 19 Sounds like a pork.

Speaker 58 The whole title of the album.

Speaker 106 Oh, the whole title of the album.

Speaker 150 Release it as the secret album by the new band Adonis Cork.

Speaker 73 And everybody will know.

Speaker 23 It's the guy that Rocky's going to fight next, Adonis Cork.

Speaker 67 Q, you weren't wrong, man.

Speaker 42 No.

Speaker 17 Dude, you don't even know yet.

Speaker 17 Wait till he starts fucking jumping in.

Speaker 14 It's the fucking worst.

Speaker 38 Old death.

Speaker 4 What the fuck?

Speaker 25 I mean, I was so tempted to say new life.

Speaker 175 Young life, so old would be normal.

Speaker 173 You tell him, Dave.

Speaker 14 I mean, if new isn't the opposite of old, I don't know what is.

Speaker 82 Yeah.

Speaker 43 Sure.

Speaker 154 what do you think it is guys

Speaker 58 well

Speaker 16 oh

Speaker 74 well what is it

Speaker 6 old death opposite of death is life obviously so we gotta have life as a second word so new life

Speaker 118 please

Speaker 25 well there's young

Speaker 9 who knows who the fuck knows

Speaker 46 new life new life boom we got one no that's not right that's not gonna be right it's too it's it's way too obvious

Speaker 68 It's not even close.

Speaker 6 It's newborn.

Speaker 6 Because new life

Speaker 6 is not a popular phrase that people will say, new life.

Speaker 106 No, they say it's not. It's on a new life.

Speaker 68 But newborn is way worse.

Speaker 30 The opposite of death is birth, not born.

Speaker 14 No, but I could see that being unilateral.

Speaker 28 That was a little bit more literal.

Speaker 44 Yeah. I mean, Monster Magnet.

Speaker 144 We got fucking options.

Speaker 6 I'm giving it to the guy. I'm giving it to Monster Magnet, though.

Speaker 126 So I figured it was like, hey, I'm shoes.

Speaker 147 See, see what I tell you? It's your fucking fault. This is what happens every goddamn time.

Speaker 17 You could also say it on fucking hat-track TV screen throughout this whole thing.

Speaker 169 He didn't slow you down.

Speaker 101 He's like, come on, come on, come on, come on,

Speaker 6 all right. All right, so no points, which is good for you for both teams.

Speaker 28 It's not good for anybody.

Speaker 119 Ankle ignore.

Speaker 6 Ankle ignore.

Speaker 134 Instead of an ankle.

Speaker 14 Okay. Wristwatch.

Speaker 163 Wristwatch. Wristwatch.

Speaker 1 Wristwatch.

Speaker 77 You'll have to get one right now.

Speaker 16 It doesn't matter.

Speaker 43 He's going through the stages.

Speaker 2 We've all been where you are, Sal.

Speaker 163 There's an excitement when you get it.

Speaker 150 It is a stage.

Speaker 156 Yeah, it's going to go away.

Speaker 67 You just end up a husk of yourself.

Speaker 169 Don't forget Adonis Cork.

Speaker 6 Big, big points for you guys. Okay, you guys need this.

Speaker 16 No, you don't.

Speaker 6 Hard, disrobe.

Speaker 34 So disrobe is dress.

Speaker 25 Right. That's not a saying.

Speaker 28 So let's

Speaker 71 slow down.

Speaker 11 I'm not going to say anything.

Speaker 14 Disrobe.

Speaker 6 Soft.

Speaker 175 Hard.

Speaker 6 Soft.

Speaker 37 Disrobe.

Speaker 27 Wait, hard.

Speaker 16 Is it

Speaker 17 disrobe robe?

Speaker 63 Hard robe.

Speaker 25 I hate this game. Yeah, it sucks.

Speaker 6 It's tough that we play it always at the end of the game where you guys are frazzled. Do we get the side?

Speaker 61 We should do it in the in the beginning.

Speaker 26 We should suck all the end of the room.

Speaker 6 I'm going to say it, but I'm not going to give you the points for it, though. It'll run the score up too high.

Speaker 92 Too high.

Speaker 6 Adonis Cork.

Speaker 66 That's hard to disrobe.

Speaker 6 Hard disrobe. Anything, Sunday?

Speaker 66 What's the opposite of disrobe?

Speaker 6 Why don't you just start wrapping towhos?

Speaker 93 Adonis cork.

Speaker 61 He's sitting on my couch.

Speaker 25 Which means nothing.

Speaker 17 Soft sell?

Speaker 3 Oh, no. No.

Speaker 16 Yeah, we're wrong. We're on.

Speaker 32 So we can't steal. Yeah.

Speaker 6 Anything, guys?

Speaker 6 You're on the right track, I thought.

Speaker 25 It's soft, something.

Speaker 18 I got it.

Speaker 77 What is it? Software.

Speaker 99 Boom! Got it.

Speaker 87 For the point. No, as you know.

Speaker 19 No. No.
All right.

Speaker 2 Software.

Speaker 116 Now. I got it.

Speaker 6 You know, when you can think about it, this is one of the really fun.

Speaker 116 No, I don't.

Speaker 6 One of the really fun fun aspects of the game.

Speaker 6 In hardware, it's like software. It's not really spelled like disrobe where you would w-e-a-r.
Correct. That's where you got to think even more

Speaker 6 unilaterally.

Speaker 68 What is that?

Speaker 105 Homonym?

Speaker 23 Not only that, it's grammarically incorrect.

Speaker 106 No,

Speaker 58 not giving, you know.

Speaker 64 You have to 3D chess on Star Trek.

Speaker 14 You got to think of homonyms.

Speaker 135 Is that what you're saying?

Speaker 81 All right. Hominid, homonym, homonym, homonyms.

Speaker 57 Okay.

Speaker 6 Now, this is two words. I know people are going to, you guys are going to call into question, but it's weak, sure-footed, but there's a hyphen between short-footed.
So that makes it two words.

Speaker 6 Weak, short-footed.

Speaker 35 Strong?

Speaker 14 Weak, strong, right?

Speaker 34 I mean, I'm not sure.

Speaker 14 Sure-footed. Might be a good idea.

Speaker 43 Not steady.

Speaker 34 Donnis, most of the men.

Speaker 14 Sure-footed means you're steady.

Speaker 14 Right.

Speaker 14 Able, agile.

Speaker 70 So steady.

Speaker 129 So what's opposite of that?

Speaker 14 Unsteady.

Speaker 15 Week has

Speaker 87 Dave.

Speaker 17 How are you doing over there, Dave?

Speaker 99 Oh,

Speaker 14 unless week is like day of the week.

Speaker 156 Days.

Speaker 150 What's the opposite of that?

Speaker 16 Months.

Speaker 61 Dave, this

Speaker 6 is a layup for Dave, I thought.

Speaker 149 Black Sabbath, just with the time it's cork.

Speaker 23 What is it again? Day of the week,

Speaker 6 it's weak, short-footed.

Speaker 14 Week, short-footed.

Speaker 6 Sure-footed. This should be like

Speaker 74 go through your catalog of salt.

Speaker 65 You are grounded, you're grounded. Yeah, gosh.

Speaker 23 Blue oyster cult.

Speaker 150 So weak and strong.

Speaker 14 If he tells us something different than weak, it has to be strong. Or if it's day of the week, it could be month.
So we know that the first one, I think it's more likely to be strong.

Speaker 14 So think of a saying, two-word saying that has strongholds.

Speaker 149 Sure-footed opposite.

Speaker 30 Weak or trip.

Speaker 14 Strong trip, month, month trip. Strong trip.

Speaker 6 Dave, it's a layup.

Speaker 25 Month trip.

Speaker 30 You're making like you're on.

Speaker 6 You got it.

Speaker 127 You got it. You're so close to it.

Speaker 46 Four-footed is sturdy.

Speaker 6 No, you said the word.

Speaker 30 Yeah. Strong trip.

Speaker 77 Yeah. So it's trip.

Speaker 30 It's the first, is the second word.

Speaker 76 Trip.

Speaker 61 What's the opposite of weak? Fuck.

Speaker 25 Road trip.

Speaker 17 I mean, I got it.

Speaker 14 Acid trip. Yeah.

Speaker 6 You got it. It's, yeah.

Speaker 14 Road trip, acid trip.

Speaker 77 Oh, okay. Oh.

Speaker 2 Dave, like, yeah, yeah.

Speaker 87 I'm like thinking about like a bowl of cherry or something.

Speaker 58 There's like a thought balloon in my head.

Speaker 135 It's me eating a bowl of cherry.

Speaker 14 We just got it. We just got it.

Speaker 6 You just got it. Oh, you want more time? You think you guys can crack this one?

Speaker 70 Well, we're drawing the road.

Speaker 55 Okay, all right.

Speaker 95 We got one word.

Speaker 58 It's a long road.

Speaker 89 You don't have wrong words.

Speaker 18 You don't even have the right word.

Speaker 14 Something tripped. Just think of just things with trip.

Speaker 14 Road trips.

Speaker 64 And connect it to this man.

Speaker 149 Death trip.

Speaker 6 I mean, we got a countdown.

Speaker 145 Death trip. I know that we got Oh, okay.

Speaker 102 Yeah. All right.

Speaker 23 Is it that easy? Yeah, it's that easy.

Speaker 23 Wow, you're so nice. I mean, you're throwing me with the power trip?

Speaker 152 Boom.

Speaker 6 I thought I would.

Speaker 89 I thought that, yeah, I thought I'd go to the bottom. Remember how you real excited?

Speaker 6 Write down Monster Man.

Speaker 48 Remember how you real excited about a moment ago?

Speaker 23 I only live on Monster Man Lane when I'm doing Monster Man.

Speaker 51 I'm like sitting here going like, you gotta go to the bathroom.

Speaker 106 This is probably about me.

Speaker 132 All right, they're up by one.

Speaker 117 All right,

Speaker 96 I helped them. I

Speaker 6 Okay.

Speaker 17 It's just we're all in this together.

Speaker 14 India.

Speaker 23 Over cat. It's just a matter of getting out of the lifeboat.

Speaker 21 Over cat.

Speaker 58 Underdog. Underdog.
Boom.

Speaker 51 Nice work, buddy. Nice work.

Speaker 99 Boom.

Speaker 136 We broke South.

Speaker 22 Take that, Adonis Corey.

Speaker 87 Adonis Core.

Speaker 58 Adonis Core.

Speaker 136 Overcat.

Speaker 136 Yeah, but everything you have is

Speaker 92 based on your teammate.

Speaker 6 No, that's not true.

Speaker 6 Those were the only two monsters.

Speaker 141 Yeah, no shit. Welcome to the fucking bag.

Speaker 121 This is what I was trying to warn you about.

Speaker 6 Does a cork stick to a fridge?

Speaker 87 It does with a magnet on it.

Speaker 136 What did I tell you the next stage was?

Speaker 99 He starts entering the fucking frame. I'm telling you, I'm Dallas Rogue.

Speaker 131 But shame on you, folks.

Speaker 14 Uh-uh, for overcat.

Speaker 9 Why?

Speaker 26 Because you dispatched your own rules.

Speaker 23 You gave them two literal, immediate, easy interpretations.

Speaker 6 That's the way it should be. No, the rules, I never stated that the rules would be, it would be constantly hard.

Speaker 14 How would you rate the difficulty rating between everything you ask? Would that be

Speaker 6 a very easy question? But dealing with these two, and I know how frustrated they get, I have to play.

Speaker 55 Thumb it down.

Speaker 1 Oh, I was awesome.

Speaker 51 Oh, so at least you get more frustrated.

Speaker 81 That's absurd reasoning. That's awful.

Speaker 57 We are at the end of a four-hour game, and you're just telling them you have to go easy on them now.

Speaker 26 Jesus.

Speaker 47 Unbelievable.

Speaker 26 You guys still got it taught.

Speaker 89 You're a monster.

Speaker 58 You still got more?

Speaker 23 Oh my, you still got more. Be happy.

Speaker 89 You guys ready?

Speaker 55 The reason they got over is because they get upset.

Speaker 20 You know how they are and they get annoyed with the game.

Speaker 136 I'm playing for the Komudgin here.

Speaker 6 Here's your guys' clue. You definitely need this.
White bride.

Speaker 4 Black husbands.

Speaker 35 Black groom.

Speaker 14 Black groom. White, dark, Dark.
Dark, white. Let's go two left, to the right.
White, black. So black or dark?

Speaker 6 Bride.

Speaker 67 Bride.

Speaker 6 Opposite of a bride. It's a bridesmaid.

Speaker 27 Groom. A groom.

Speaker 14 Husband. Wife.
Black, dark, groom, dark groom. No, but it's not.
Okay.

Speaker 68 Like how Dave is just like.

Speaker 23 There's no point to run the brain.

Speaker 58 You know what I mean?

Speaker 125 There's no challenge.

Speaker 47 Why am I expending in a wife and stuff?

Speaker 121 Just like those guys.

Speaker 23 I'm having more fun watching those guys do it.

Speaker 57 Black ex-wife?

Speaker 114 Is it white? White?

Speaker 14 What is it? White? Say it again. White bride.

Speaker 103 White bride. So white bride.

Speaker 23 A bride could be a girl.

Speaker 6 It's a famous two-word thing that you would. Okay, okay.

Speaker 14 Opposite of bride is a girlfriend.

Speaker 14 Is ex-wife is bridesmaid? Is husband or groom?

Speaker 67 Husband, groom.

Speaker 101 Dava, hook.

Speaker 107 I'm not answering you.

Speaker 48 White, light, dark, dark husband.

Speaker 14 Dark groom, dark ex-wife, dark girlfriend.

Speaker 48 Light, light, no, no, white,

Speaker 58 black,

Speaker 125 I'm gonna have a fucking seizure.

Speaker 108 Black,

Speaker 128 black, what's the opposite of a bride? Underdog.

Speaker 58 Groom.

Speaker 109 Yeah.

Speaker 14 Oh, is the white bride? Is that like virginity?

Speaker 82 Is that like pure?

Speaker 69 Pure?

Speaker 43 Yeah, but I mean, evil.

Speaker 114 Are you proud of yourself?

Speaker 23 Look at these fucking guys.

Speaker 141 I mean, they're blind.

Speaker 14 But honestly, according to their answer, R should be black husband.

Speaker 106 Black groom.

Speaker 67 Black groom. It doesn't work that way.

Speaker 103 Yeah, so they get the easy ones.

Speaker 6 I thought this was an easy one.

Speaker 116 Well, you're wrong.

Speaker 90 What is the opposite of a bride?

Speaker 27 A groom. Groom.

Speaker 6 Not necessarily. It's not.

Speaker 14 An ex-wife, a girlfriend, a bridesmaid.

Speaker 23 An enemy. No.

Speaker 30 A dead bride.

Speaker 23 A bride is a woman who got married.

Speaker 63 A widow. A widow.
A widow.

Speaker 94 Black widow.

Speaker 49 Look at the joy.

Speaker 48 I've never seen Tim happier than he is right now.

Speaker 1 Wow.

Speaker 6 The exuberance on Tim's.

Speaker 86 What is exuberance?

Speaker 6 I have gone to game companies and pitched this.

Speaker 82 And what happened?

Speaker 78 No answers.

Speaker 127 No responses.

Speaker 1 Wow.

Speaker 25 You want to call it dyslexia?

Speaker 6 We also, I said we could call it backwards if the money's good enough.

Speaker 62 Why is it called dyslexia?

Speaker 14 Because it's the opposite.

Speaker 6 You read it backwards. I just thought it was clever.
Okay.

Speaker 6 All right. So, guys, you got one here.

Speaker 14 Did you know Black Widow? Or did you guess it?

Speaker 68 I did not.

Speaker 6 I thought that was really obvious, though. Black Widow.

Speaker 14 That was probably an example of a pretty decent one. It was attainable and you could see the path to it, but it wasn't that obvious.

Speaker 17 Do you know that Walt once gave me a wrong?

Speaker 23 Just because you're a widow doesn't mean you're a bride.

Speaker 16 You're not a bride.

Speaker 23 You know what I mean? That's why it doesn't make sense.

Speaker 93 It's not the opposite.

Speaker 93 How does it not make sense?

Speaker 23 Because it's not the opposite of a bride.

Speaker 17 You're still a bride if you're a widow.

Speaker 23 You still got married.

Speaker 6 But if the answer is black widow,

Speaker 6 what is a better clue to

Speaker 90 the answer?

Speaker 57 I made this answer. You can't figure it out.

Speaker 141 Right, but

Speaker 6 if you're playing the game and you have to give an opposite for black widow, what are you going to say?

Speaker 19 A white alive wife.

Speaker 73 A white alive husband.

Speaker 92 You only give two words though.

Speaker 156 All right, guys.

Speaker 6 Tie game again.

Speaker 6 Patient ordinary.

Speaker 161 Oh, I got it.

Speaker 17 That's Doctor Strange.

Speaker 107 Oh, yes.

Speaker 6 You are, I think you're the best dyslexia player.

Speaker 17 I know, and that's it. He just curses me to keep playing it.

Speaker 23 Well, and you know the way he's thinking. You know what I mean? It's impossible.

Speaker 67 That's the scary thing.

Speaker 17 Once I gave him the answer of mini golf, and he told me I was wrong because it's miniature golf.

Speaker 37 Wow. Do you understand?

Speaker 120 This is what we're dealing with.

Speaker 17 I didn't get the point.

Speaker 4 Wow.

Speaker 6 That's tough. All right.
So get this. If you don't get it, they win.

Speaker 169 Oh, guys.

Speaker 143 Good luck.

Speaker 14 Can I answer just ahead of time?

Speaker 6 Ungrateful taking.

Speaker 14 Taking, giving.

Speaker 6 Thanksgiving.

Speaker 127 Yes!

Speaker 6 And it comes down to the final clue. Wow.

Speaker 6 The final clue.

Speaker 46 We don't get to see that.

Speaker 6 We're looking for a tie game, but there's only one answer left.

Speaker 23 All right. So it could have been the tie all along.

Speaker 6 Well, yeah, this will be a tie if you guys don't get it. And then we'll just give

Speaker 6 it a little bit of a turn.

Speaker 39 You know what?

Speaker 17 Before we get to it, Wall, I think a lot has to be said for the amount of time and work that you put into these games.

Speaker 88 I know

Speaker 88 you're not sensing that love right now because we're ending on dyslexia.

Speaker 93 But

Speaker 24 up until this point,

Speaker 17 your control and mastery of episode 500 has been

Speaker 17 beyond impressive.

Speaker 23 It was worth it for the post office stories alone.

Speaker 46 Thank you.

Speaker 46 The ship sank very close to me.

Speaker 89 My ankles are wet.

Speaker 6 So, for all the Marbles, or a tie game,

Speaker 6 peace organic.

Speaker 85 I got it.

Speaker 38 You do? I got it already.

Speaker 17 It's got to be War Machine.

Speaker 25 Is this more comic shit?

Speaker 6 Congratulations, Sherry Larkin.

Speaker 78 I want to go.

Speaker 93 Organic and all.

Speaker 6 How can you even dispute it, but he got it that fast, though?

Speaker 66 But organic and machine?

Speaker 17 No, no, no. It was originally.

Speaker 6 Yeah, it's War Machine.

Speaker 147 No, organic. But what was your peace organic?

Speaker 6 Peace organic.

Speaker 17 War is the opposite of peace.

Speaker 43 organic organic sure the opposite organic is machine is machine look at you look at him

Speaker 138 what are you talking about

Speaker 43 that's starting to sound like get him yeah if it's not organic it's a machine

Speaker 24 no it's close

Speaker 38 no that's the opposite and it's also a very popular phrase it's not grammatically correct of course it is sal's looking for organic would be and then it would be what uh what would the yeah but you guys have to think about the full you guys have to think about the full the full the full thing well yeah the whole dyslexia thing, which is.

Speaker 147 What I knew was war, I had to figure out what it was going to be.

Speaker 6 He got war, so he has to go in his mind, the Rolodex, war blank, war.

Speaker 23 Right, so he's picking that rhyming.

Speaker 6 Organic, machine, boom, win. There you go.
Victory. Thank you all.

Speaker 46 Got it.

Speaker 16 I five me on that one.

Speaker 78 All right. Well done.

Speaker 68 I love this game.

Speaker 87 I love this game.

Speaker 68 The curator. The curate.

Speaker 46 The curate involved.

Speaker 101 Sorry, Curator. I mean, you heard us try for four hours.

Speaker 58 We tried hard.

Speaker 51 We battled.

Speaker 22 We battled right now.

Speaker 6 You know what, though?

Speaker 6 Since it's episode 500, both the curator and Sherry are going to get some.

Speaker 37 So this was all pointless.

Speaker 58 But no.

Speaker 6 I'm going to load them up with some gifts because it is episode 500.

Speaker 6 Nobody should walk away feeling sad.

Speaker 142 I am.

Speaker 6 Q, you carried the team over there during dyslexia.

Speaker 17 Well, you went into comic book stuff. You know what I mean? That was my Wheelhouse Plus Underdog, of course.

Speaker 70 Which is still kind of a comic book thing, I guess, if you counted.

Speaker 67 This game was...

Speaker 70 Sure.

Speaker 6 You like it? You like it?

Speaker 14 This is the opposite of cow shit.

Speaker 109 Gold.

Speaker 58 I'm going to be bullshit.

Speaker 19 I'm not even sure.

Speaker 39 No, it was great. It was absolutely great.

Speaker 16 I don't play games like this.

Speaker 43 It's a horrible game, but it always ends up being fun because

Speaker 46 I'll just laugh.

Speaker 123 My cheeks are hurting.

Speaker 61 Yeah.

Speaker 82 Wow, Walt. Unbelievable, bud.

Speaker 46 Well done.

Speaker 130 Congratulations, Walt.

Speaker 101 Congratulations, Brian.

Speaker 25 Congratulations, Q, and congratulations, Walt. 500 episodes.

Speaker 32 Unbelievable, man.

Speaker 6 Thank you to all our guests. Thank you so much.

Speaker 169 Thank you so much for having me here.

Speaker 6 Tim, Sal, Jeff,

Speaker 6 Chuck for running the recorder over there. Thank you.

Speaker 17 Stacy for answering, whispering answers into their ear.

Speaker 106 I don't think I see the fucking that shit going on.

Speaker 166 I'm just fascinated with Chuck's new haircut.

Speaker 144 Chuck looks pretty good. It does.

Speaker 17 I do miss the pompadour a little bit, but I like it.

Speaker 161 It looks good.

Speaker 23 Yeah, thank you, Chuck.

Speaker 166 Any lady, especially Nancy Walker, would be happy to have him.

Speaker 9 That's as well. Tell him, Steve, there?

Speaker 89 Damn straight.

Speaker 152 Dave's on on the Nancy Walker line?

Speaker 25 What better than Nancy Walker?

Speaker 6 Yes, you're right. Tell him, Steve, Dave.

Speaker 8 Woof.

Speaker 1 Wow.

Speaker 106 Guys, thank you. Thank you, Brief.
Thanks, Steve.

Speaker 76 Tohos.

Speaker 176 Didn't know I like to fuck Kai shoes, did you? Getting freaky with Godzilla's ugly ass son, Mini. Me, Kong, and Rodan all getting head from a space dragon called Ghidorah.

Speaker 176 So perverted that gerbil stuffed that lava stage version of Motha Rub.

Speaker 176 I can go all night, son, even longer than that robot mecha got zilled up. Cause compared to me, that tin can is just a pocket-side vibrator.

Speaker 6 I hereby sentence you to be incarcerated.

Speaker 176 Cell block 69.

Speaker 13 What kind of a place is this?

Speaker 176 What's the source of my throbbing erection? Hot bitches going down on each other while incarceration. My most prized possession? My sealed unopened women in prison DVD collection.

Speaker 8 Some little girls are just born to be banned.

Speaker 176 Fuck the MCU and Star Wars. Cause Oscar goes to any film with a jail and whores.
Scenes of women showering in captivity has always been my deprivity.

Speaker 176 No need to order no blue chew.

Speaker 176 Not when I got the classics like Change Heat 2.

Speaker 6 No one gets out of air alive.

#500: It’s The Big One

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Transcript

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