#496: Devil’s Beef

Bullshit, open that fucking gate.

I'm coming in.

You could have kept it up, and I guess it feels good to get it off your chest.

Yeah, a little bit.

Yeah.

All right.

You're like, you got a piece of crap I can eat?

Tell them, Steve, Dave.

Hello, welcome to this week's edition of Tell'em Steve Dave.

I'm sitting around the all-new Tellem Steve Dave offices with Waltz.

Hello.

And with Hiccuppy BQ.

Yeah, I'm going to hope these hiccups don't intrude upon the show.

Do you have a system to knock them out?

I try to focus entirely on them going away, and usually it works.

I didn't

earlier today

when

I was just giving the advice to go calm and go Zen.

Think about your diaphragm, and it goes away.

It worked the first time today.

Oh, yeah.

Yeah.

So maybe it'll work.

I mean, I don't have another one yet, so maybe...

There you go.

It's hard to picture a diaphragm though.

I don't even know what a diaphragm looks like.

It's like a

rubber band.

I have no clue.

Where's it located?

It's right under.

It's what makes you breathe, isn't it?

Like it pushes the lungs in and out.

Oh, okay.

I used to just try to scare my kids when they had hiccups.

Yeah.

I would love it when I heard that they had the hiccups because then I would just...

You know, hours later, I would still try to scare them.

It's been cured for a while.

Yeah, just try to tell them I'm doing it for their good.

In the history of hiccups, has that ever worked, you think?

Because I do that to Sage, too.

I think it probably did work because it made someone take their mind off of it.

And then they realized, you know, oh my God, I stopped hiccupping.

I noticed before I got married, there was no hiccupping, no belching, no like

kind of noises.

And now that you're married.

Like from your better half,

she never allowed you to hear a

feminine sound come out of her body.

Now it's like

she's letting them rip.

Oh yeah.

Well she's not farting.

Not so far.

It's only a little over a year.

We're only a year in.

Who knows what's in store for me?

What about you for your side of it?

Have you been preserving the mystery?

No, pretty, like a couple times, I think.

Yeah.

Like one time she walks in on the bathroom in the shower and shit, you know.

What, you're going to the bathroom in the shower?

Yeah, of course.

You don't?

It's the same time.

No, farting.

Farting in the shower.

Oh, I see.

Yeah, yeah.

I've never farted in front of my better half.

It's probably smart.

Yeah, I've always tried to suppress it.

I don't think I've ever farted in front of anybody.

I've never been.

Anybody ever?

I don't think I've, I've never been a kid that was into laughing at other people farting.

And farting on people.

Yeah.

There was always kids that would do that.

And I would look at them like they were Martians.

I'm like, why is that funny though?

I've never been into that kind of potty humor.

And what's even stranger is when it extends to adulthood and like people are still doing it.

It's uh yeah.

I remember see, I remember being mystified because I didn't know what was happening, but there was a kid where I, at the community center where I worked.

I didn't work there at the time.

I was also a child.

And he was sitting waiting to play pool and he would, and he was a smoker.

He was to smoke cigarettes.

He was putting his lighter up to his jeans and putting his legs far back and he was, and he was farting and he was making these fireballs.

It really works, huh?

And yeah, and I was just like, I was, you know, I was only like 12 years old.

I couldn't figure out how he was doing it.

I was just like, this kid's a fucking magician.

Like, how is he doing this?

And then I realized it was just, it's, you know, gas, it's flammable.

I've never seen that in real life.

Yeah, he definitely did.

He actually, it actually, he had to pat his jeans down.

Oh, really?

He caught fire for a second.

He singed his pants?

Giggling like a fucking hyena the whole time.

I think farts are funny, man.

I think that they have their police in the middle.

You're one of those guys?

I don't do it.

I'm not one of the guys that runs around doing it, but I love

a well-crafted fart joke.

He likes fart on Sal's head when he's not looking.

Yeah, I don't really do stuff like that.

I don't like it in my personal life, but in movies or in television,

I'm on board.

There's a place for it.

In comedic history, there is a fucking hall of fame of fart jokes.

Absolutely.

And I'm just not one that like it doesn't resonate with me.

I've never been

one to ever laugh, I don't think.

Even the best fart jokes just land flat for me.

I used to work with a guy in the firehouse who used to,

well, there's no way to say it, he used to get turned on by girls' farts.

He used to love it.

Really?

Yeah.

And how did he tell you this?

How did this come up?

Oh, it was a firehouse.

Everybody just put their shit on the table and looked at it.

Yeah, he was into that sort of thing.

It was something weird about it.

Yeah, like that and like smelly feet.

There's certain things that are like, I wonder what happened in that person's life that

the two worlds collided.

The sexual world and the fucking disgusting world collided and then it became like a thing like a fetish came in uh i had a uh

when we lived in la i had a conversation with a with a porn actor let's say um and she told me that like the people that like eating

like the brown no yeah it's way too far for me but like the people that are into that sort of thing are like

she was explaining to me like you're eating a part of the person.

It's like a belonging thing.

But I was like, but it's the worst part.

It's the part I don't want.

Well, there is no part that I'd want to eat, though.

Yeah.

Yeah, like if you had to eat something, maybe a little hair.

Oh, no.

If a gun to my head and I were like, you got to eat a part of another human being, I'd be like, give me some fingernail clippings.

Some clippings, huh?

Oh, that's good.

Swallow them without even chewing them, and probably don't even taste it.

You're probably not going to choke on it either, like you would hair.

Yeah, I'd go for that.

That sounds good.

But what if it's like...

I'll try it

later.

What if it's like, you know, like how old people, their nails turn like hard and yellow and shit?

Like, you can barely get through them with a saw.

That's how my nails are getting right now.

What do you mean, old people?

Are they?

I have one nail on my, like, like two years ago, I was at a comedy club and somebody stepped on my toe, and it's never been the same since.

Like, it'll grow out and it'll be normal, and then all of a sudden, it'll go black and blue again.

But it's not like that hard, thick, yellow shit yet that you see with old people, where somebody else has to cut your nails.

Is there a way to avoid that?

Dying.

No, come on.

Is there like a nail treatment you can do?

Like, surely there's like...

Yeah, but you can definitely work on your toenails.

I mean, I've got some of the worst toenails on the planet

since teen years.

I don't know, puberty?

Just

ugly?

Yeah, just kind of crookedy and

just not that appealing.

But, you know, luckily, I...

I keep those suckers, you know, socked.

Under wraps.

Yeah, hooded like a hawk.

So you've never had a girl suck on your toes or anything like that?

No.

No way.

That would be cruel and unusual.

So you're like, you got a piece of crap I can eat?

Oh, that's bad.

Wow.

I've never had any toe sucking myself.

No?

No.

Oh, it feels great.

Does it?

Yeah, it's like surprisingly.

I'm surprised at that.

Yeah, no?

No.

Yeah.

Not a lot, but no toe sucking.

No feces eating either.

Well, you did videotape a girl taking a shit once.

That's true.

That's about as close as I got.

Into a plastic grocery bag.

Hey, man, whatever, dude.

Yeah.

I'm not here to judge anybody.

Thanks.

I know you're not.

Yeah.

So one of us had a birthday this weekend.

God damn.

Yeah, another one came and went.

Now you have said that you've turned 50 and that's it.

Yeah.

Once I hit 50, I don't count them anymore.

And my wife was about to say, you know, she was like testing me.

She goes, you really don't know.

I was like, I really don't know how old I am.

Do not tell me, I said, I'm not going to do the math.

I'm not going to sit there and try to figure it out.

I don't want to know.

I'm perfectly comfortable being perpetually 50.

Even that.

Even that sounds ridiculous.

Yeah, I'll just remain 50 until the day I die.

See, now I look at you right now and I'm like, yeah, if somebody were like, hey, he's 50, I'd totally believe it.

But the day will come when somebody's like, he is full of shit.

That guy's not.

Yeah, you know, we were talking about comic books.

Was it last week or the week before?

You know, we gave a pretty harsh assessment of modern comics a little bit.

So I went into this latest week's batch with an open mind, and this guy named Cliff Chang wrote it's a comic called Catwoman Lonely City.

And it's one of these, not I used to call it Else Worlds, but now it's just, you know, set in a different continuity, where she gets out of prison at 55 and she goes back to try and be catwoman.

And like the whole comic book is essentially her complaining about how everything hurts and how she's not as liberated as she used to be.

And I was reading it and I was like, oh my God, I do feel seen.

I was like, oh, I was like, I'm represented.

Yeah.

And I was like, I was like, maybe I'm wrong.

I was like, I guess I was fucking...

No, although I was, I was,

what I said about Superman wasn't that he was bisexual.

It was that he was boring was the issue.

But I think I understood a little bit more after reading that.

It was so funny.

Like, it was two days after after we did the podcast that I was like, oh, yeah, I guess people, they kind of do want to see themselves in the comic books because I'm feeling pretty good right now.

How was that received?

An old.

Well, it's a really well-written story.

So

yeah, it's part one of, I think, three or whatever, and I'm anticipating the rest.

But yeah, yeah, just superheroes getting old, complaining about their shoulders and shit.

I'm into it.

Now,

Superman, he's your guy right now.

He's my guy.

Now, recently, somebody brought it to my attention that Superman's slogan will be changing, or they want it to change.

Truth, justice, and a better tomorrow.

A better tomorrow, yeah.

I'm fine with it.

You don't care?

I don't care.

But they had done that in the brand, not Brandon Ruth.

I don't know, the Superman that had the, what that was takes, that took place right after the 1978 Superman.

Remember, it was kind of like in continuity.

Yeah.

I don't remember who that Superman was.

He only had one change.

Yeah, Ralph.

Brandon Ruth.

Oh, it was.

Okay.

They had changed it then, too, didn't they?

Oh, I don't remember that.

I remember there being a little bit of um controversy as that they had stopped calling it truth justice in the american way

and

i had heard rumors that it was a a licensing thing that they the trademark had lapsed and they you know i can't imagine that somebody had trademarked though truth justice in the american way

oh sure well it came from the from the radio serials and the tv shows so i'm sure it was trademark trademarked back then and it just lapsed so they're like let's just come up with another one but better tomorrow i mean it doesn't sound that bad i don't even know what the american way means No, I don't think anyone else does anymore either.

Yeah, so I was fine with it.

And he's an alien.

He's a fucking like...

That's true.

He's middle American.

He grew up in Middle America, though, with the Middle American values.

He still has them.

Yeah, I know.

But I think that's where that whole thing, you know, where he became so patriotic in the 40s and 50s is just a different thing.

Do you think that in,

let's, look at it like it, like these people are real and stuff like that.

Do you think like when Superman made the decision to change it, like, do you think he sat down?

Somebody was like, Superman, you're going to get fucking shit soon if you don't, if you keep saying American Way.

Yeah.

And he's just like, wait a minute, what do you mean?

I've saved the universe a billion times over.

Twin, I don't give a fuck.

Wait a minute.

So I should be worried about what people are saying online.

Don't worry about Lex Luther.

Don't worry about Brainiac.

Worry about some keyboard warriors.

Yeah, we think you got to lose.

Yeah, we really feel you have to lose American Way.

It's not good for your image, man.

People don't like it.

I think if I was Superman, I would be like,

I don't think I'll stop saying it, but I'm not going to come out and actively, and actively say I'm not going to say it anymore.

I'll meet you halfway.

It's like, what's happening?

My son's gay.

I can't say American Way anymore.

Superman breaks all conservative and shit.

Yeah, I mean,

I was hoping that you'd be a little more riled up about

your Superman, yeah.

Oh, well, you know what?

The thing, though, is this, man, and this is, this is why I don't get worked up because, and, and I think you only get this perspective after reading comics for decades.

Um,

it's all still there.

He still says American Way for fucking 50, 60 years.

So I can just go back and read, like, you know what I mean?

Like, it's just continuity.

Somebody called this out.

I went back to Reddit,

Walter, and I want to address somebody who said something on this.

Somebody called me and you out for not knowing comics.

Did they call me out?

No, you were fine.

They were saying that, I mean, they weren't being harsh.

They weren't being like the Reddit dickheads about it.

They were just kind of saying it that Superman wasn't always married to Lois, that he dated Wonder Woman at the start of New 52.

And you and I just skipped that and missed that over.

But we were right, and they're still wrong.

Why?

Because

this is why I did it.

Because if you remember, Superman and Lois were still running around from the old universe, were still running around in the background.

There were two Superman.

In New 52.

In the new 52,

our Superman was still around.

And still with Lois, they were living under assumed names on a farm, and that's where they had their kid.

I was going to, okay, but I was just going to try to distance myself from you and be talking about.

And say that they could call you out for not knowing because you still currently read new stuff.

I have gone on record numerous times.

Like I have stopped reading when Omac Project came out, which was, I think, 2008.

So

anything past 2008, I would have no knowledge of.

Well, they were saying you're a comic bookman and how you did that.

You represent yourself.

And, you know,

there is some clarity to that, or

there's some validity to that because I was living a lie.

I was in, I was,

the whole time I was shooting Comic Bookman, I would pretend that I was like, I, I was like, I adored everything comics, including new comics.

Right.

But I was lying to America.

Wow.

I put it out there.

That's not the American way.

No.

You don't know how long, you know, the kind of like weight that that was on my shoulders when people would come in and try to talk to me about new comics, when like when listeners or fans of comic bookman would come in.

And I had to snow my way through it and pretend like, oh, yeah, I love that.

And I'd be like, and I had to be so generic to not give away my, the fucking lie I was living.

No, you know how closeted teens feel.

Wow.

So if they're going to call me and you out,

I feel like I should be not called me out for lying for seven years.

But I have gone on record and said that I don't know anything about it.

Okay.

You should be exonerated from these charges.

I mean, I have to pay the price for lying.

Well, you didn't have to admit that because we were right.

I could have kept it up.

I guess it feels good to get it off your chest.

Yeah, a little bit.

Yeah.

All right.

What did you do then, Walt?

I didn't do that much.

We went to Atlantic City a couple of weeks ago.

You knew that.

And I think my wife saw the kind of like the

different side of me because I had won at Blackjack.

And so she booked another night at Atlantic City for me and her to go up there and celebrate my birthday.

And she goes, I saw you had such a good time at that virtual Black Jack table that I did it again.

And I was like, all right, you know, I'll go back at their thinking, you know, like, you know, just because I won the first time, that was beginner's luck.

but I took fucking the chop of canna down too you did yeah damn boy yeah

nice work I doubled my money I put in 50 I walked away with a hundred that's nice and I want to be there for those quarterly report meetings

and I don't like to play because I'm a because I'm a very amateurish player yeah so there was a couple that was just there the night we went down there they just wouldn't leave the table and it's a virtual table so I don't think a lot of people even like playing that way is that the one where they have like the female dealer?

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

I enjoy that because there's no, yeah, I like that too.

There's no judgment on if I do something stupid, right?

You know, if I, if I make a bad call or I hit when I when I should have just seen it, yeah, I like that aspect of it, but this couple wouldn't leave, so eventually I was just like, I'm just gonna go down and play.

I know they're gonna be annoyed when I do some wacky shit in my head that makes sense to me.

But

then another guy came down and sat down, and

I was just taking like doing things that I know was fucking pissing people off like like standing on 12

but I would win though yeah you're you're you're you're a whale I was trying I was thinking head was like well I know what these people got I know she's gonna have to she being the dealer is gonna have to try to beat that guy too so why should I fucking take the next card that could be a 10 and I'll no no you you are like staying on 12 depending on their the dealer's cards is is a good move because you always have to assume the next card is 10.

Yeah, but yeah, but but the guy pulled a two and then he pulled a 10 and he goes, well, if I would have had a fucking 10 if he took a two.

If he had taken the card, he should have took it.

That guy's out of line.

That's what he said.

Well, I could hear him say it to his wife.

I was just like, I felt bad because, again, I know that me playing at that table

at a disadvantage.

Because if you were the type of player that he wanted, you would have hit on two and then you would have hit on 10 as well.

And you would have been bust.

Well, I would have got the two.

But then you would have had 14.

That's what I'm saying.

Yeah, I would have probably stood again.

But he's saying most people probably would hit, you know what I mean?

Probably would hit on 14.

Yeah, I'm not, you guys probably played it way more than I have, but I enjoy playing it.

And now,

I mean,

now hopefully I don't get the bug, though.

Oh, no, that's that little gambling addiction number.

That's for you, man.

If you think you have a problem, it's always in fine print on the bottom of billboards and shit.

You can't even read it.

I like the idea of Walt being like a whale now, and them sending helicopters up to airports.

You know, like he goes in and takes sheets and towels and shit back over.

Damn.

So, did you have fun?

fun was it yeah it was good yeah i had a good time um ate at johnny rockets twice

you are living large boy nice dude yeah and um

then i stopped at a flea market yeah you did and then i came home and uh watched vanguli and that was the end of the birthday not a bad one

it sounds all right yeah it was a good time

I'm uh

for some reason I don't know why school school calendars are very strange these days for some reason Sage has the entire first week of November off so Mary Beth was like, I want to do something.

We haven't gone anywhere in a while.

Let's go do something.

So, I was going to suggest leaf peeping.

Is that too old?

What is it?

Leaf peeping.

Like, you go up into New England and you like drive around, look at leaves and shit.

Oh, no, changing colors.

Oh, okay.

Actually, leaf and the set.

It's two words, leaf peeping.

Yeah, leaf peeping.

Okay, leaf peeping, I thought, was a

one word.

It's like, I eat a piece of her shit.

Loaf peeping.

You're going to, wait a minute.

So your suggestion to your 20-something year old wife is let's drive

six hours?

Probably.

And look at leaves.

Look at some leaves.

Check out some leaves.

Well, I don't know if you've noticed this about her, though, but she's not thrill a minute herself.

She's 27, but she's about 27.

Gotcha.

I don't know.

That would be a tough one.

I'm just being honest, I would be, like, if I got the invite to that, I'll be like, ooh, I need a quick excuse to get out of this.

Right.

I think I'll catch her.

Well, I mean, but leaf peeping is like, but there's a day made of it.

It's a road trip.

You're stopping its side.

You're getting some cider on the side of the road.

A little cider.

Yeah, it's like you make a day of it.

It sounds pretty nice.

Stay at a nice maybe bed and breakfast, maybe.

Yeah.

Keep all the other residents awake all night.

You went to Salem, right?

Oh, the headboard of knocking

for Halloween, right?

Yes, I have.

Is it fun?

Is it like a blast up there?

It's really fun.

I'd love to get up there one year for that.

You don't want to go to Salem, I don't think, in any month other than October because October is when all the shit is going on.

Unless you want a very scaled-down version.

Like, you go in the summer, nothing's going on.

Like, September, you got some stuff going on.

But, like, November, forget it.

Once like Halloween is done.

Dead?

Yeah.

Because they have like this big square where they set up

fake witch burnings?

No, that would be awesome, though.

That would be fucking...

I couldn't miss that if they were doing that.

They do have what, Gallows Hill there.

Well, you've been there.

I've been there.

Yeah, they have Gallows Hill.

They have the Salem Witch Museum.

They have

a satanic museum.

Oh, I remember you went.

It wasn't that good.

Yeah, it was.

I couldn't recommend it.

There's another place I want to go to.

It's called Count Orlock's Nightmare Gallery.

Yeah.

It looks cool, doesn't it?

It's a little cool.

Yeah, it's like a wax museum for monsters.

Oh, that's Salm Land.

Yeah.

Yeah.

So did she sound receptive to?

Well, I haven't suggested it yet.

Because she's like, I want to do something.

Why are you keeping in your back pocket?

Well, because she just said it today.

She took a nap

so I could even bring it up.

up and have you guys gone leaf peeping not yet ever never ever have this have you ever gone on your own i mean what would what made you think of this because i'm like she's like i want to do something i'm like i don't want to spend a bunch of fucking money going to florida and shit i looked at the flights and i'm like i don't want to go there for a couple days and spend two grand um

and like around here i'm like what are we gonna do you know so can't you peep leaves here i mean no not yet because they're like it hasn't been cold enough yet but up there probably up up there.

You want the yellow and the reds, orange or fiery reds, yeah.

All that.

All that shit.

Are there any leaf peeping podcasts?

I don't know.

I should look it up, though.

Yeah, I kind of want to listen to one and I want to know what the topics are.

If not, we'll start the first one.

Oh, Space Monkeys presents leaf peeping.

It just sounds like something someone does in the twilight of their life, though.

Well, I think it is usually.

I don't know, man.

You can go for some nice fall hikes, man.

Oh, you're getting out of the car?

Are you just driving?

Oh, yeah, yeah.

No, we'll get out of the car.

Get out of the car.

If we make it as far as Maine, you know, go get some lobster.

Leaf peeping

in the early years.

Apple podcasts on the app.

I think it might be an episode.

I mean, I can't imagine a podcast.

exclusively week after week dedicating itself, especially in the off-season.

If you travel the country, you could do it, you know, because you're seeing different kinds of leaves because you have different trees that are native to different states.

That's true.

People would really get turned down by that.

We should have turned Patreon into exclusively leaf peeping material.

And that's a phrase you didn't make up.

Oh, no, I didn't make that up.

No, I've never heard that before.

Yeah, me neither.

Leaf peeping.

Yeah, it's been around for a while.

Trying to figure out how we get a Z on the end of it, but I can't really.

Oh, leaf peepers.

There you go.

There you go.

That'll do.

Nice.

It's set.

You wonder if it is trademarked?

Leaf peeping?

Yeah.

I don't know.

Everybody's using it without without authority.

I know that much.

Hold on.

Leaf peeping.

To pull a Gene Simmons and trademark it and pull it out from the rug from everybody who's using it right now.

That's my dollar sign.

It's very exciting.

I don't know, man.

It sounds like a fun day to me.

I think if you make,

if you, if you obviously, the whole day can't be built around going and just looking at some trees and walking away.

Like, you got to build in the height.

Well, all right.

Well, he, yeah, he didn't paint

a very colorful picture.

No, he didn't.

It just sounded like because I said it and then sat back waiting to be attempted.

But, like, do you like cider?

Oh, yeah.

Apple cider?

Oh, sure.

Yeah.

I love cider.

I've never seen you drink cider.

I've never seen you get excited about the fall to be like.

I drink it every week, like, or every day.

Yeah.

But I like a good, a good cider, like a nice fresh cider.

Go to an orchard and shit.

Every fall, it's a big feature in my joint.

Yeah.

Yeah.

I like to get, I like to heat it up, or I pour it in a saucepot, and I heat it up, and then I pour about half a bottle of Jameson in it.

I think you're like the Jameson when you're like the cider.

No, because I can drink Jameson anytime.

But like you, you spike the cider with Jameson, but it comes together so perfectly.

And then you sit there and before you know it, like you fucking hammered.

Go for a leaf.

Fucking peeps of leaves.

It's C-Stream.

What is that leaf?

Talking to me?

Yeah, I actually just bought a gallon of apple cider this week.

Now, why, if you like it so much, why is it regulated only to a certain time of the year?

Then, if you really enjoy it, you would be breaking out the cider, you know.

It's almost like a Halloween thing.

It's almost like a seasonal type thing.

I don't know.

I could drink eggnog in July.

Yeah, yeah.

Some things just belong a certain cider.

I love it as much as you two guys are fucking like just telling me how passionate you are about cider.

You don't drink it.

Go over to Delicious Orchards, grab yourself a gallon of cider.

I don't think I've ever had apple cider.

I've had apple juice.

You like apple juice?

No, I hate it.

Oh, then you're not going to like apple cider because it's just thicker apple juice.

It's got all pulp in it, right?

Oh, yeah.

It's got that nasty shit and all floating in it.

That nasty stuff.

Yeah.

They drain it.

They could drain that in.

Strain it.

Yeah.

Yeah.

You need it, man.

It's good for you.

I love it.

Go through your innards.

Clean up your diaphragm.

And then you got to, you know, then there's this like, then you pour the Jameson in, then you taste a little bit, oh, too strong.

So you pour in some more cider.

You know what I mean?

Not strong enough.

Yeah, not strong enough.

You put in more Jameson and you sit around the fire.

It's a hit, man.

Okay.

It's a hit.

Like people, when they come over to my house and they're not expecting it, that by the end of the time they leave they're all converted it's like should i be driving you're like i don't care

no one could drive straight

just run right into the first tree

knock it out of the driveway

there's leaves all over the fucking windshield that you knocked off the tree look at them they're so beautiful uh I couldn't help it, you boys, noticing these gorgeous socks that I'm wearing.

Oh, we got them.

Some Halloween socks from the undies, undies, huh?

The undies, huh?

Yet another product I haven't gotten.

Eyeballs.

Do you buy these?

Are they just sent to you?

No, they're just sent to me.

What the fuck?

Yeah, I didn't get no socks.

Beautiful.

You get any socks?

No.

Sounds like Mary Bett's playing favorites on that.

Probably.

Are you afraid of glow in the dark?

Well, shield your eyes because the new Miundi's Halloween just dropped.

What do you say?

Did.

Was there a reason to be afraid of it?

Because of the phosphorus and the ink?

Yeah, maybe.

They're like,

Chinese shit, you know?

Cheap phosphorus.

Yeah, you'll absorb it into your skin next to your glow in the dark.

The skin will glow a little bit and you'll be all freaky in the bedroom.

I'm sure if Meontes isn't using phosphorus-laden ink in there.

No, dude, they're using all natural stuff.

They're not using all this fucking chemical mixture.

Agent Orange.

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I love Halloween, man.

It is my favorite holiday.

By far.

And thankfully, it's the one holiday that people don't really seem to be going after.

It's like, like, Christmas.

It's like, you can't say Merry Christmas.

Right.

Thanksgiving.

Fuck it, man.

Yeah, it's because it's already been appropriated.

We took it.

We took it away from the people.

It's really an American holiday, I guess, at this point, right?

Oh, yeah.

I don't think it's celebrated anywhere else.

It is celebrated, but it's only in recent years started getting more traction in other countries.

It's kind of like, I mean, look, I'm probably wrong.

But as far as I always know.

Check Reddit, you'll know.

Oh, yeah.

Actually, Reddit's been pretty kind the past few weeks.

Oh, yeah?

Yeah, so I have been enjoying going.

I actually went to type something to someone the other day, and I was like, I'm not that ready yet.

Jump in because I don't want people to fucking be mean to me.

So I stayed away.

But I went the last couple of episodes, I went and to see what.

We're going to be recording.

If you guys love Halloween, I mean, you guys, are you

excited?

We're going to be filming after this, our TSD annual Halloween episode.

I love it.

I'm a little nervous.

You know, a lot of moving parts.

Hopefully everything comes off.

And because we don't have a big, a lot of time to turn it around.

You know, it's Halloween is next week.

It's next Sunday.

So we're going to go to the next one.

There's a quick turnaround.

Yeah, so we're going to try to turn it around and get it out on Sunday night, right before midnight, just so we could say we released it on Halloween.

So nobody couldn't say anything on Reddit.

We released it November 1st.

Nope.

We released it at 11.55 on October 31st.

Well, why don't we release it on Saturday night?

Because

it's got to be cut.

It's got to be, you know, there's got to be effects are being put in.

Green screens.

So you think they need every hour?

Yeah, it's going to be up until the last minute.

The finishing touches we put on because, you know, obviously we're not going to half-ass it.

No.

Hell no.

Yeah.

We got makeup.

We got costumes.

We got green screen effects.

Special guests, devils, demons.

How much longer can we get away with calling Sunday Jeff a special guest, you think?

Well, you know what?

We got a special guest that hasn't been seen since 2015.

Wow.

Oh, that's cool.

Whoa.

Yeah.

So that is a special.

I don't even know who this is.

You don't know who this is?

Yeah.

It's Dollar Shafe.

Still, that's pretty cool.

I didn't see that jacket.

Whether you're out running a killer or being abducted by aliens this Halloween, be comforted by the fact that your undies are sustainable and the softest in town.

I think if Jason were chasing me, the last thing I would think about, I would only hope that my underwear were keeping in everything that was coming out of me.

Wait a minute.

Did they say Michael Myers or Jason wears underwear?

No, I think that those guys would go commando, right?

They're not getting up in the morning and putting on underwear.

Michael Myers is not wearing anything under that

absolute suit.

There's no chance on the planet.

Well, he's in a hospital.

They probably put medicine.

He's the one I say probably is wearing underwear.

Well,

couldn't he strangle somebody with his underwear if he took them off, though?

Yeah, but isn't he mostly catatonic in the hospital?

In the hospital, yeah.

Yeah, he does.

They probably bait him and like wipe his ass from his Jason.

Forget about it.

Who has that job?

What orderly has to fucking wipe Michael Myers, a serial killer's asshole?

I know.

That would be a rough one.

That's a podcast I listened to.

How much does this pay?

Wait a minute.

Those are serial killers who are

real serial killers.

Yeah.

They don't get their asses wiped.

No, but Michael Myers is kind of tough.

He's got to deal with it.

No, he's like, he doesn't move.

Like when he's in prison, really.

Yeah, he just sits like he sits in a chair and basically stares out the window the whole time.

Okay, like I said, I've only seen Halloween 3.

Yeah, we're going to do that watch-along.

Me, you, and Q.

We're gonna do the Halloween watch-along with it.

Yeah, when are we doing that for the next Halloween?

I don't think so.

I don't think this Halloween is gonna work out.

Uh, so let's see.

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Speaking of Halloween, this wasn't really Halloween-related, but the other other morning

it was like seven in the morning, and I usually get up at like 7.05 to get Sage ready for school.

So it's like a five-minute window.

Seven in the morning, she bursts through the door.

She's like, Dada, a demon's knocking on my door.

And

she has a cross in her hand.

She went to Michael's.

I think she went with Mary Beth, and she liked, because on Annabelle, that's how they ward off Annabelle, is with a cross.

So she saw it like on the wall.

She's like, I need that.

So now she has it hanging above her bed.

I think the demon was the cat scratching like at the door.

I'm pretty sure that was the demon.

Yeah, that made me laugh.

Fucking kid.

She's wild.

She's going as a slappy.

Do you know who slappy is from Goosebumps?

I'm guessing it's like a killer clown from outer space kind of thing.

No, she's a

puppet.

It's a puppet.

Yeah, like a dummy.

Yeah, she should have a suit.

Oh, yeah, yeah.

Yeah, that's who she went as this year.

Very happy with herself.

What do we got here?

What do we got?

Oh, I wanted to ask you, Walt,

if

when you were young,

say

11, 12, right?

And your mom wants to join a UFO cult, like kind of like the, what was the name of that fucking UFO cult?

The Doe and the Hellbop.

Yeah.

Like, do you think you would have been into it, or do you think you would have been scared?

I would have been terrified.

Oh, would you?

Yeah, because I mean, even then, I knew that, you know, it's all bullshit.

And if, like, if my mom was buying in, like, that she wants to join a UFO cult, yeah,

I would be very fucking, like,

I would be, I think I'm savvy enough even as a 10-year-old to know that, like, you know, she needs some serious help.

Yeah.

I think if Edgar weren't around, we probably, I don't know, it would have been a UFO cult, but it would have been some kind of cult we would have gotten swept up in.

But it does seem like

as a kid, like, when you look at a cult, like as an adult, you can sit there and be like, wow, this is pretty fucked up.

And like, even if you were to, like,

become a part of it, you would just be so

skeptical the entire time.

Like, I don't think you have the mind, like you personally, well, I don't think you have the mind to buy into that shit at all, you know?

But as a kid,

it just seems like it would be fun.

Like, with other kids, you know, all the kids are running around talking about UFOs and shit.

Are cults usually, though, just designed to get one guy fucking laid and paid, and everybody else is kind of living in huts and shit?

Basically, somewhere.

Yeah, I wouldn't enjoy it.

If I'm that guy, yeah.

Well, you're a kid.

You can't be that guy.

You'll eventually be that guy.

And every prediction that the cult leader makes never comes to fruition.

Always wrong.

And yet you still never waver in your faith.

I mean, that's fucked up.

That's a weird.

Like, when you're part of a doomsday cult and the doomsday come and goes, and they're like, what happened, man?

I thought we were supposed to be dead.

Didn't that happen, though?

Didn't we just see that?

Like in the last decades?

Yeah.

It happens all the time.

time and the excuses started flowing i think they just stop uh they stop report like reporting on it because it happens so frequently that it's like almost a non-story anymore

i don't know ufo cult sex cult

they're all good people are lost man yeah like if you watched uh wild wild country right no

the radishis oh it's great you should watch it yeah i think i caught some of it here and there like it's they were in the deserts they bought guns they were suddenly

in Oregon, yeah.

They basically ch it's because they brought in all these people from different walks of life, so it's not like they brought in a bunch of people and they're living like in the Hudson's and stuff.

Yeah, there was an Indian woman that was high up in the world.

Yeah, yeah, I kind of saw it.

Sheila.

But

it's like they brought in engineers.

They brought in people who knew how to do construction.

They brought in people who knew how to do cement work and block work and all this other shit.

So it's like they brought in a bunch of people who had the ability to set up an electrical grid, you know?

Yeah.

And they built an entire fucking town around themselves.

Shit.

You know?

I mean, go for it.

But it's like when I see the

dude, the main dude coming down the street and everybody's like jumping around and clapping and shit.

And this is one of his 60 Rolls-Royces.

Yeah.

That's when I'd be like, I don't know.

Yeah, it's that thing where you're like, how do people fall for this?

It's the big question, right?

But they so desperately want a different way of life, I think.

They're like, they're so tired of, you know, the rat race, race for lack of a better term you know like i just want something different i want something to be meaning like you know if you worked at nine to five like when's the last time you worked at nine to five it's been a while right my 20s yeah so if you had been for the last 25 years still working at nine to five

you might be like you know what this is i just like this yeah it feels empty like anything yeah maybe like i know this sucks and is soul killing i don't know it depends on the job i guess i mean i know plenty of people that work nine to fives that like they love it like their jobs, too.

Yeah, they're not going to be swayed by it.

Yeah, I just think it's my fault cult.

Yeah.

But maybe some people just aren't built for it.

Like, I was never built for it.

I just was never built for a nine-to-five, really.

Like, anytime I worked one, I was miserable.

Also, I'm thinking personally, like the kind of job I could qualify for in a nine-to-five, yes, I would want to get

out of it and join a UFO force.

But like some people, yeah, have skills and fucking abilities and shit, you know?

Yeah, it's not my, that's not my.

But usually the cult demands more of you than your nine-to-five job because, you know you have to work on the compound, you got to plant your food, you got to feel like you belong, you're part of something.

Yeah, you got a family and friends around you, I guess, at all times.

The other part that would suck would be like when the uh when the leader's like, yeah, um, I'm gonna be fucking your wife.

Yeah, so if you could just hang out here for a while,

all right,

yeah, guys, do it, man.

You have to go put up that solar panel while you

fuck my wife.

I watched this documentary about this woman who,

spoiler alert, eventually she died in a plane crash, but she was this woman who,

I don't want to say cult, but this religious movement where it was all based on like weight.

It's called like the weigh down plan.

And it's like a church, but

it's basically a mortal sin to be fat.

So they're constantly telling everybody like to lose weight and shit.

And if like to discipline the kids, they're like, that was the other big thing is like, well, if you discipline your children, you got to hit them with glue sticks you're like you know the you know like you know hot glue like it comes in the like you know well it's like they it's like a cylindrical tube like about say this long and it's glue and like it goes through this glue gun oh yeah yeah i know yeah right and they would be like beat kids with that like that was our recommendation that's horrible yeah

and people did it people did it Somebody was like, well, that fucking bitch I don't know is telling me I'm too fat and I should beat my kids with this thing, so I'm going to do it.

Yeah, I guess I'll do it.

And that's when you look at it, and it's just like those people

are everywhere they probably outnumber us the fucking the type of people that are like susceptible yeah dope idiots and it's just like that's how you look at you're like

i mean i'm supposed to care about what when half of the fucking world is made up of these fucking morons half the time well those are the people who get swept in twitter shit like oh my god i read i read a headline now i'm in it i'm totally in it sure yeah they're on facebook now they're on twitter it's it's it's not even like it's it's both sides of the political divide like those people that are so fired up where you're like, you're fucking lost, bro.

You're an asshole.

Leave me alone.

Did you see

Alec Baldwin?

Oh, fuck, dude.

Did you see this wall?

Did.

How horrible is that?

Alec Baldwin.

Look, it's terrible.

Yeah, I feel so bad for him.

The lady.

I mean, I feel worse for the lady.

I don't feel worse for worse.

She's beyond anything.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah,

no, no.

It won't help her feeling bad.

No, I think the person holding the bag right now is Alec Baldwin.

The first thing.

I mean, her family, her kids, of course, but that's not what.

Yeah.

But the first thing you learn about guns is like, it doesn't matter if you think it's loaded or not.

Do not fucking point it at anybody.

And especially if you're pointing it at somebody, do not pull the fucking trigger.

Well, is that what happened?

We know.

We know.

Well, it was in his hand, so he must have.

Yeah, but they were saying like he might have been pointing at the camera for a shot.

and pulled the trigger.

Oh, is that what they were thinking?

That's what I heard.

And then because

he's the director and she's the cinematographer, they're right at the camera is what I heard.

This is happened.

But

yeah, but that's, he's not, you can't hold Alec Baldwin to those rules.

Like, he was given a gun that he was told was A, a prop and B, not loaded.

Like, what the fuck is the guy supposed to have?

Have you read everything about like the history of the gun?

They're like, the, they're like, it's, it was, like, one of the least safe sets the people have ever been on.

The crew would use the gun for fun.

Like, they'd bring it out and like shoot it and shit.

And I guess that's how the fucking the bullet ended up in it.

Like somebody flitting in the thing to take it out.

But like that's like you're a prop master, right?

And you're in charge of a gun.

Yeah.

There's not that many moving parts to a gun that you can't be like, all right, I'm going to check it out and make sure it's safe, and then I'll hand it off to Alec Baldwin, who now has to, like, whether or not he pointed at somebody, he was given a hot gun.

who now has to deal every day for the rest of his life with like, I fucking shot and killed somebody.

And I don't even know what the other dude's deal is.

Dude, could you imagine what those seconds were like right after it went off?

Like, it's like, what just happened?

Like, you wouldn't, it would be surreal.

You wouldn't even be able to believe it.

Yeah.

You're just like, and then he felt responsible, even though he was, I'm sure, you know what I mean?

Like, oof, I don't know, man.

That's rough.

I'm surprised in this day and age with the way movies are made today that they're even using

like

not caps, but like, what are they called?

Like, what are we not?

Blanks.

Blanks.

Like, when you can put in, you can put in post.

I mean, we could do that now here.

Like, a Tom Steve Dave can actually have, like, yeah, and you, can you, like, with the budgets we have, can you imagine, like, why do they even have guns that even fire blanks at this point anymore?

You wouldn't think they needed it.

Well, I think just so you could see, like, the flame at the end, it's cheaper than to like go on CGI, maybe.

I think it's the only

movement and stuff.

Yeah, the recoil.

Yeah, it's the only thing I can think of.

Otherwise, I think you're right.

Like, you could give somebody a highly sculpted rubber gun that will look totally real,

and that's it.

That's all you need.

Yeah, I just, I mean, it maybe it will come to that now after this, but considering how easy and how cheap it is now to put that in, you could put any kind of like discharge or something.

But think about how many times

it's like plane crashes.

Like, you hear about it every once in a while, but for the most part, there's millions of planes going all over the world a year with no problem.

It's like, I don't know, like, when was the last time this happened?

If this happened on an independent film, well, probably the crow, right?

Yeah.

If this happened on an independent film, yeah, you wouldn't, you would hear one day of it, and then that would be it.

It wouldn't be headline news for three days in a row, which really stole the thunder from that Brian Laundry guy being found dead.

Oh, really?

Did it?

Because it came the same time.

It came the same day, yeah.

So, like, it was like, oh my God, they found, holy shit, Alec Bowman shot somebody.

Nobody gives a fuck about that guy anymore.

Well, the story's over.

For that, that story's over now.

I mean, there is no, there'll be no trial.

There'll be no answers.

There'll be no

nice little bow for the media to fucking beat and try to make fucking dough over.

I found the whole thing fucking absolutely grotesque.

The coverage that like I would do specials, like hour-long specials, like they're fucking profiting off the fucking misery and despair of that family by like, what is there to, what special can be done about the girl who was found dead and the guy's missing?

All you have to do is like, okay, here's the news.

This girl was camping with her boyfriend.

Her boyfriend lost it, strangled her.

We don't know where she is.

Okay, holy shit, we found her.

Now we just got to find him.

You don't have to fucking report on it every single day about how you didn't find him or how fucking dog is getting.

They did primetime specials.

It was unbelievable.

And they're selling ad space on it.

So that's how they're making their money.

They know it's a hot story.

And that's how sick it was that, you know, the meet the me I forget what channel it was.

I don't remember what channel.

It was one one of those news channels though or no it was even id channel

don't you disparage the id channel

but it's just like you know they saw the the public interest and they and they strike just like

just like wolves though you know preying on and and profiting off of uh

murder and uh you know the the misery of uh two families i don't understand the protesters like the people who were protesting the the guy's family like putting laundry baskets on their lawn and and shit.

I'm like, I think that they

thought that he knew where.

Well, I think the perception that the media was putting out there, again, it's the media saying that

the killer's family, the alleged killer's family, wasn't cooperating and really wasn't

being forthcoming on information that they may have had to help locate where he was.

Right.

But they don't know that.

Right.

That's what I'm saying.

So allegedly.

So,

but you can't blame the news, really, because it's like they, those people are

fucking idiots.

Like, what are you doing?

Like, you don't, you're not adult enough to know, like, well, I don't know really what's going on, and these people are probably going through something that's horrible.

Let me put, let me harass them.

Again,

it's Twitter, except in real life.

You can just jump on the bandwagon and fucking be like, I'm a part of this now.

Now, I fucking hate product laundry.

Now I'm going to Target and get some laundry baskets.

Like, you know the answer.

Like, even if they did know where your son was, like, you know the answer that you'd give up your son to the law.

Like those people know that.

You don't know that.

Right.

You don't you don't know how you're gonna react.

Yeah.

So I find those people to be really fucking distasteful.

Those people like going after his parents.

But maybe they're right and I'm wrong.

I mean worst case, maybe they gave their son a head start.

They're like, look, you did what you did.

He's dead anyway.

I don't want it.

Yeah, he's dead anyway.

So, I mean, he, it's,

yeah, it's just

people that think

that's troublesome.

But I hate to, I hate, though, then, when you see that kind of like that profiteering, though, and

just the jackal-like aspect of the media just like taking that story and running it 24-7 when there's nothing and they just keep

tires.

Nothing happens.

Smitting no tires, but they're like, hey, man, we can do an hour special on this, and we could charge probably more for our fucking, for the, whatever the ad blocks are on for that hour special, how many there are.

Even I didn't watch that.

And I love me some death in mayhem.

I don't know.

You know what I do know?

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Thank you, Keo.

Walt, I know that you've never really wanted to get any tattoos.

I've wanted to, but I've just never been able to pull the trigger.

I've never been able to get over the

hesitancy that I have.

You know, I've always looked and admired certain kinds of tattoos.

There are some tattoos that just turn me off, but.

What are the kind of of turn you off?

Just too many.

Better not say tribal band.

Just the ones where it's too much.

I think one on a bicep is nice.

Like an anchor?

Yeah, I mean, an anchor.

I mean, if it's 1940, you know, and you're Popeye.

Maybe an anchor is the go-to tattoo.

But, you know,

I've had aspirations and I've had, you know,

thoughts that I may actually pull the trigger and do it, but it's probably never going to happen.

Never going to happen.

Do you think you'll be worse off for it?

Or do you think it's like, what's the big deal?

Well, I mean, if the Jewish community, like Sunday Jeff has said, like, he's not going to be able to get into heaven if he got a tattoo.

So

what if that's true?

Like, what if even that's universal?

What if like even that applies to me and my God?

What if I got up there?

I would be like, you got to be fucking kidding me, bro.

Nothing was said about this except for Jewish people.

Bullshit.

Open that fucking gate.

I'm coming in.

That would be pretty

pretty random for God to to be like, oh, I got a tattoo.

You just needed that anchor so bad.

Isn't it like, isn't your body a temple and maybe, you know, maybe you shouldn't be defacing it?

You know, God gave you the perfect body and you didn't need to enhance it.

I think God would be more mad at me for fucking eating the way I eat than getting a tattoo.

I think he'd be like, I gave you a perfect body.

Look at you.

You barely fit through the gate, you fat fuck.

I'm not saying that's going to happen, but

I want to make sure I cover all my bases.

You know, when I get up there, though.

He may be like, well, you did this or you did that, but I'll be like, hey, but I didn't get a tattoo.

It's true.

Maybe that offsets some of the other things.

Well played, well played.

If you're dealing with a God that's going to let you burn in hell for all eternity because you got a tattoo.

I don't know, man.

That seems like a tricky dude.

You know what I mean?

Unless it's like an evil tattoo, like 666 or something satanic.

Pentagram.

Yeah, sure.

But even then, isn't the preferred version of God that we enjoy to be the all-loving New Testament God?

Yeah, like loving

the eternal God.

That's the soft

children's version.

Right, but that's

the one that we

like to think that it's always going to be that way.

But, I mean, he was pretty angry at some really, really weird stuff, you know.

Yeah, I know.

Didn't he rot someone's testicles?

I'm sure he has.

Like, in the Bible, didn't somebody or something.

Didn't he put bees in somebody's somebody's testicles and they burst out or something like that yeah something like that i mean so he's

uh i don't know if it's just the all-loving well what if okay so you're saying then that like i'm saying everybody gets in but jewish people that you what you know their jewish religion they're like they're not allowed to get tattoos yeah

I think they're a little old school.

You'd think that

you would say, like, that's probably not true.

You're not you're gonna be fine if you get attached to it I would say overthink it.

Yeah, I'd be like some priest made that up years ago guys.

Don't worry too much about it.

I was I was I was finishing up that book finally on

Alexander Hamilton and he got shot right in a duel and he was on his bed dying and he asked he asked for last rites and the priest the priest who was a friend of his was like no

he's like and he was like

what do you mean and he was like no he's like you you did a duel he's like like, that's not.

He goes, we don't approve of that.

So we're not giving it to you.

Isn't that fucking crazy?

Despite a rules.

They had to get another priest in.

The second priest said no as well.

So then his friends basically surrounded the first guy and was like, come on, asshole.

You're his friend.

Give it to me.

The guy's dying.

They forced him.

And then he gave it to him.

Yeah.

They forced the priest to give him awesome.

So it means nothing then.

So God looks at that as like, that's like, those words were forced

that were read, those last rites.

What are you going to do?

Probably was even more of a

backfire big time when Hamilton died.

Yeah, yeah, they would in the priest.

Could you imagine?

That's hardcore.

Someone you know personally is dying of a gunshot, in a bed in misery, begging for last rites, and you're like, nah.

Dude, I'd love to.

I'd love to.

I can't do it.

Why did you bring up text, though?

A couple gets Charles Manson tattoos using his ashes.

How'd they get access to his ashes?

That doesn't seem to be too clear, but it says that

Orion,

let's see.

It's a couple.

A woman wanted to be the first woman to sport a tattoo featuring his ashes.

So the Niagara Falls couple have matching tattoos of Manson's face created by artist Ryan Almighty, who said he mixed the ashes with red and black inks to create the likeness.

I guess the guy who got it done already had a tattoo on his forehead saying Helter Skelter.

These are some big-time fans.

These are going to keep you out of heaven, probably.

I mean, they got got the helter skelter tattoo on their forehead.

I mean yeah then I don't I don't I was going to say these are a couple of fucking wackos but I mean they're

they're just committed it sounds like they are it's not like they this is not on a whim

and

he also has the the X on his head he has the X carved on his forehead but then it says where they got the ashes don't say how they got the ashes I mean if I was Manson I would have left it to him I'm sure they were sent him letters many letters of all their new tats of

all his greatest hits.

I wonder what you do for a living if you're getting Manson tattoos all over you and shit.

And at such an age, I can understand how old these guys are older.

I mean, these guys look like they're well into their 30s.

See,

that's not the Manson sweet spot, I would think.

That's more guys our age.

Yeah, you would think so.

I would think Manson was not something that resonated with the kids.

Yeah, they might think like Marilyn Manson.

They wouldn't think Charles Manson.

I don't even think Marilyn Manson.

No, no, he came up in the news recently.

If you want to hear about,

you know, Q, you brought up bees exploding out of your testicles.

Yeah.

Here's something similar.

Male bees' testicles explode when they reach orgasm.

They lose their lives as soon as they lose their

virginity, and they're not the only creatures whose lusty libidos force them into suicide sex.

Wow.

I didn't even know bees had testicles.

Me neither.

I wouldn't have known.

So insects have balls?

Genitalia.

Yeah.

That's hot.

A little fucking bee weaner.

Beaner.

Although I did hear when I was driving to Atlantic City, I heard on the radio that there's a new STD.

Oh, really?

It hasn't hit America yet, but it's in Europe.

Oh, it'll be here soon.

Yeah, that's what they said.

They said it'll be here soon.

It just is horrific.

Oh, no.

So apparently what it does,

that's probably where I was confusing the Bible with what I was listening to on the radio.

They say it rots your genitalia.

Oh, I read this.

Yeah.

Yeah, I read this.

And it's a real deal.

It's not fake, and it's out there.

Men and women?

Yeah, both.

It rots it from the inside, and you can't stop it.

There's no cure for it right now.

Jeez, man.

That's still not going to stop people from getting laid.

I think if it becomes like an epidemic,

I think that you would see some lifestyles altered.

You'd have to.

I don't know, man.

See, the AIDS crisis didn't really turn off people.

They were fucking

going crazy.

I think that they changed

their habits, though.

You know, I mean, condoms.

Yeah.

Yeah.

I think.

I don't even know if a condom can stop this one, though.

I think it's condom-proof.

What is it?

You don't know anything about it.

Other than it rots.

All I had to hear was rot.

Flesh-eating STD.

What you need to know about donovanosis.

Donovanosis.

Sometimes called the flesh-eating STD.

It's rare, but potentially severe sexually transmitted infection.

You just don't hear about STDs anymore.

You know, back in the 50s,

there was the crab scare.

And then, of course, the 80s with the big A.

The AIDS, that was the big thing.

That's all everybody could talk about.

And in the 90s, I don't think we had any scares or in the early 2000s.

But now we got this one, which is going to really curtail maybe some

spring breaks, hopefully, and you know, get people to calm down a little bit out there.

Yeah, that's a tough one to explain to your wife.

Like, if you're stepping out on her and you come home, your balls are rotting off, you're like, oh, man.

Q, I want you to check yourself when you get home.

The early signs are lumps around the genitals or anus that increase in size and take on a beefy red appearance.

I mean, how disgusting does that sound?

Beefy red.

I don't know if that's a Crayola color.

Now, is this something that just popped up out of the blue?

It's like this hasn't been around.

It just is a new STD that just came out of the blue.

It seems like it.

It seems like they said it was prevalent in

South Africa and India, but the cases are starting to creep up in England.

You fucking dirty Englanders.

What's the cure?

Like, what's the

abstinence?

Yeah.

Don't be so slutty.

Or get to find yourself

a full-time monogamous relationship.

Yeah.

Does such a thing really exist, though, Walt?

What's that?

I mean, you're married, I would hope so.

But wait, they're not saying they can't take like penicillin or some shit for you?

They don't have any cure for it.

There's no cure for it, baby.

Oh, wait, there is treatment, though.

It says those beefy red anus and genital lumps can develop into ulcers that without treatment can become infected, which can result in pain and an unpleasant smell, and it's more likely to affect men.

Uh-oh.

We deserve it.

Do we?

Yeah.

What do we do?

We can't keep it in our pants.

We can't keep it in our pants?

Dude, that's nature.

That's fucking nature.

That's the way God intended it.

Yeah.

No, this is God.

That's why God invented zippers to whip it out.

That's a fucking anal blister or anal fucking, whatever this thing is.

Yeah,

this is all from above, man.

He's like, all right, I got to throw a new one at you fuckers because you won't stop.

You won't abide by the good work book, then okay, then deal with this now.

God, I'd rather go to hell.

The devil's beef.

Tell him, Steve Dave.