#495: …Ehhhhh

Does he get married or does he die?

It's one of the two.

Some will say it's one and the same, right?

I didn't say that.

I don't get any respect in life.

I don't expect any in death.

The cowboy in the village people is like, it's not as

moratic as the original Rolling Ranger was.

The Village People guy is like, that is gay.

Tell them Steve Dave.

Hello and welcome to this week's edition of Tell him Steve Dave, broadcasting from 1340 Highway 36 in the airport plaza.

Isn't that right, Walt?

That's right.

And it goes, I don't know if you guys noticed, but did you guys see the giant

broadcasting

tower that's on top of this?

Yeah, that got installed last week.

We put that in.

No, that's been here.

So if we can ever tap into that tower, we can go on to real radio stations.

Yeah.

Yeah, I mean, pirate radio, I guess it would be, but get him.

What's this deal?

Working on it.

Uh, Sweet 28, by the way, come on by and see Walton, get him, and me.

If I'm here, and BQ, you were here today, yeah, never know when BQ's going to show up.

Yeah, that's the beauty of it.

You just never know.

I don't know if that's the way people feel.

The beauty is go all the way there and don't see him.

Yeah, there's a little bit of mystery.

There's like, you know, it's like you just don't know.

Yeah.

Yeah.

I mean, don't come for me.

But if you're here, hey,

it happens.

It's genius.

Yeah.

Did you have a good week, Walt?

I did.

Yeah.

Uneventful.

Yeah, mine too.

Q, I know you were at your compound, so you probably had an uneventful week.

Yeah, you know, my life is just the same day in, day out.

What are you going to do?

Pandemic, baby.

Yeah.

Yeah.

I went to,

at your suggestion, with the anniversary thing, I got those paper tickets, which ended up me using my phone anyway to get in.

But we went to the Stone Pony to see Blue October.

The music wasn't bad.

I won't say it was bad.

It's not like my style of music.

But

I was very pleased that, because

when you go to see a band and you're like, okay, there's fucking five opening bands before them.

And, you know, that's two hours.

And then it takes the fucking band another hour to get on.

You're in for five hours before you know it.

All bands you don't give a shit about.

Right.

Never heard of, don't care about.

This one, they only had a half hour of somebody called Yam House, which they weren't that bad.

Yam House, fun name, yeah.

I thought Yam Bag.

That's what I thought, too.

That's immediately where your head goes.

Ball house?

I never heard that before.

You never heard of Yambags?

Never heard that phrase before.

Testicles.

Yeah.

Learn something new.

Try to use that, utilize that.

Like tonight, you're just like, oh, my aching yam bags.

So went and saw saw the concert

and at a certain point, you know, like it's very like most of the songs are slow.

It's not like a real rock and roll band.

So like sometimes he'll do like these little interludes in between, like within the songs and shit.

So he's singing a song and all of a sudden he's, you know, he stops and they're doing the musical part.

And he goes, sir, I love your beard.

Oh, he talked to you directly?

He talked to me directly.

Oh, now this is your, now, if we could pull the curtain back, this is Bryce Wife's like be all, end all band, right?

Favorite band.

Oh, this wasn't Yambeg that said this.

This was, this was, oh, shit.

This was Blue October.

So when you have, so when all of a sudden you get addressed by

the lead singer of Blue October,

it's got to be

unbelievable, like jaw-dropping.

They absolutely did.

Yeah.

Did you get up on stage?

Yeah, I jumped up there.

I was like, you want to see a close-up?

No, that's okay.

Shoved me back down.

I did think it would be funny, though, if

like when everybody turned around, I just had it, like in a panic, I suddenly just lifted up Mary Beth's shirt.

She goes, I don't think that would have played well here.

It's not that kind of band.

What was your reaction?

Did you just give like a sheepish wave?

Yeah, I waved.

I gave him like a little like, hey, what's going on?

Oh, nice, man.

It was funny because she is not.

It's her favorite band, but she's not really familiar with the newest music.

I guess they just put an album out.

So for the first three songs, she's like, I don't know this song.

I don't know this song.

I don't know this song.

Then eventually she started knowing songs.

But what he does is like, he's like, I want to tell you a quick story.

And these stories are not quick.

It's usually, if it was like five minutes for each story.

And he's talking about how he, and it's very like,

it's told very dramatically, I guess you would say.

Like, he doesn't just rush through it.

He's like, you know, so I had my daughter and my father came over and

he took one look at me, and he knew he knew I was back on meth.

You know, this kind of shit.

That's the kind of stories he's telling?

Oh, yeah.

Like,

he was on methamphetamine.

He lost custody of his daughter.

He had visitation.

He was taking meth anyway.

And the dad, who is a narc, he's a DA agent, was like, hey, say goodbye to your daughter.

And I mean, goodbye, because you're never going to see her again.

Like this kind of shit.

He's telling the story.

Does this elaborate a little bit for the crowd?

We are on stage.

Is this a little punched up just a bit to be a little bit more like?

I don't know.

Do Do you remember concerts used to be fun?

I was like, can't this

David Lee Roth just jumping around doing?

Can't we see playing a fucking guitar that was on fire?

Can't we see which side of the crowd is louder?

Yeah.

I'm from New Jersey.

Don't you want to ask me?

Yeah,

I thought you were going to tell me that, like, you know, like, I thought these were, I actually thought it was kind of, I don't know why.

I apologize.

I assumed it was pussy rock since your wife liked it.

I don't know.

That's horrible for me to say because I figure.

Good accurate.

But I was going to say, you know, I had my daughter and my father came over and then I realized, you know, how much I love, you know, how much love my father gave to me.

I thought it was going to be some sort of uplifting message about having a child and having your father in the room at the same time.

I thought it was going to be, it was going to bring it around and make it all feel good, not like he got his daughter taken away because of meth.

Well, it was eventually feel good because he got off the meth and now he has full custom for all this other shit.

So it does end up happy.

It was a journey.

It was a long one.

She told me that, I guess, she likes the older music better because that's when he was drugged out and he's a schizophrenic.

So there was a lot of pain and anguish and anger that came from that.

Right.

That music.

Whereas now where he's all happy and shit,

the music's not as intense.

I'm sure he loves to hear that.

Yeah.

I made sure to tell him.

I was like, hey, me,

guy with the beard.

I mean, I guarantee you, though, like, I'm sure when he looks online and he sees, oh, yeah.

He sees that a lot of his fans are probably echoing the same thing.

Or when he was crazy.

Yeah, I liked it better when

he was a mess.

I never hear that about you, though.

Everybody's happy, though.

They feel like they never say, I wish Bri was back on

the junk.

When the pods are better.

So that's good, though.

That's a nice thing about our audience.

They never say that, I don't think.

Yeah, at least not that I see.

Probably they say it on Reddit.

Like, I wish you would just OD.

Oh, no.

You've never seen that.

But I would.

The band I thought was pretty decent.

Like, I didn't hate them.

But where we went for dinner, which was, you know, Robinson's Ale House in Red Bank?

It's right across the street from the Old Stash.

Yeah.

There's one down there in Asbury Park.

Maybe one of the worst restaurants I've ever been to in my life.

So if you go to Asbury Park, I highly recommend you not go to Robinson Alehouse.

Wow.

What happened?

We got like...

The only thing that was good, I guess, was the wine, which I didn't even drink because I don't drink wine.

But we got like a lobster dip, which was like 90% artichokes.

Got a steak, which was overcooked.

She got macaroni, lobster mac and cheese, which was all dried out.

It was just like cravy on the lobster, man.

Dude, we were almost running down to the ocean to get

another lobster.

This would have been the anniversary.

That's what you do.

You can't be a cheapskate.

You got to get lobster and

lobster dip.

Lobster dip, lobster lemonade, anything with lobsters.

Squeeze lobsters.

Can you put a lobster on this seat next to us?

Keep us company.

Wow.

Yeah, my parents' 50th anniversary was this

past weekend.

Did you do anything with them, for them?

Rented a boat

and sailed around New York Harbor, like around the island.

Are you the captain?

No, the captain, the boat, first of all, I thought of you, Walt.

Did you like The Lone Ranger, the old show?

Yeah.

Okay, the original owner of this boat that I rented was

the guy who was one of the creators of the Lone Ranger TV show.

Whoa, wait a second.

Say it again.

This blowing my mind.

He must be 100 years old then.

Well, it's on his fourth owner now.

Oh, the original owner.

Yeah.

So I wouldn't trust him captain in a boat.

No.

He the guy, it's called the Calypso.

It's a yacht parked off Manhattan there.

And the guy, if you get on the boat, you notice an alarming amount of Lone Ranger paraphernalia on the walls and stuff like that.

You're like,

it's like a Western-themed boat.

Like, I don't kind of get it, but all right.

And then, and then the captain, this guy, Dan, who was awesome, told me that the original owner of the boat was one of the creators of the Lone Ranger TV show, and he bought this boat with the Lone Ranger money.

Yeah, and so this guy kept all the Lone Ranger paraphernalia on the walls, huh?

Yeah, the more you get into it, the more you see, like, apparently the cast of the Sopranos used to rent this boat for all their parties and stuff like that, because there's also, like, you start to notice there's a ton of Sopranos signed.

Bobby Bacala, you know, Gandafini, other guys signed pictures on the walls and stuff.

And he's like, yeah,

they used to rent this boat like twice a year and go out, the Sopranos guys.

So it's like this weird mix between old West and modern gangster shit.

Now, do you remember in the 80s?

I don't know how up to date you are on your Lone Ranger Lord, but do you remember the actor who played The Lone Ranger?

It was like the saddest story ever in the 80s was when

I guess whoever owns the copyright, whoever owns the Lone Ranger, he was going around dressed as a Lone Ranger in his 80s.

And they said, you can't wear the Lone Ranger mask anymore.

He would go out to hospitals and shit.

And he wanted to be the Lone Ranger because he wanted to keep the, he felt like the legend was dying, you know,

it was kind of outdated.

And he would make all these appearances as a Lone Ranger.

And they said, you can't call yourself the Lone Ranger anymore and you can't wear a mask at any of these events.

So he took to wearing black sunglasses.

Oh, man.

The saddest story ever.

You're not allowed to say hi-o either.

Yeah.

It was absolutely brutal.

Like in an era before getting shamed on social media, like

whoever held a license,

they were just like, fuck off.

You're not the Lone Ranger anymore, old man.

So stop saying you are.

It was so cruel.

Oh, man.

That's sad.

Well, now I feel like I'm fucking floated around on Blood Monk.

I don't feel good about it anymore.

No, I mean, it's not this guy's fault who owned the boat.

Definitely not.

Like, what's the downside to allowing him to do it?

Because he's not making money, right?

I think it was because there was this movie coming out.

I think Disney released a movie, or I don't know who released a movie where they revamped The Lone Ranger in 1980.

And I guess they just wanted to separate anything from that TV show.

They just didn't want to be attached to it because they were trying to build a new vibe to it.

And I remember liking that movie, too, though.

But I did like, I watched that show

every afternoon when it was on.

The original Lone Ranger?

Yeah.

Yeah,

it was on reruns at that point.

He wore like this, like the tightest fucking blue cowboy suit.

It was like a spandex suit.

I mean, I didn't, I mean, I didn't mind back then, but I was,

but it is like, it is very village people looking in retrospective.

I mean, yeah, like the cowboy and the village people is like, it's not as

erotic as the original Lone Ranger was.

The Village People guy is like, that is gay.

so i get speaking to that did you hear about superman's son

yeah yeah superman's son's bisexual

oh i thought it was superman himself no

his son his son i know he had a son yeah i'm not up to date on current comics who's the mother of his son lois lois so superman had a baby with lois yeah and it was and was a great character the problem the problem is not that his son john is is bisexual the problem is that his son john is is the most boring fucking character like it was cool like there was a bit where he was um John was a little kid and it was awesome is this 52 or is this pre-52 this is after post-52 yeah so how did he grow to be an almost an adult already well i'll get to that my friend so so everybody loved jonathan kent because it was he was a little kid he was like uh 12 years old or something like that or 11 years old and he had adventures with robin like batman's kid uh damien and it was like actually a cool series because Super Suns, right?

The Super Suns.

And it was way better than it had any right to be.

And everybody legitimately loved that character.

And then Bendis decided that he wanted to use him for the Legion of Superheroes.

The future one?

What's that?

Oh, Legion of Superheroes.

Yeah, Legion of Superheroes.

So he aged him up through a time thing where his father took him and he got held captive by Evil Superman for seven years and came back and he did it in like a day.

Oh, okay.

Because he wanted a teenage Superman to use in the future.

And everybody fucking hated it.

And that character has not recovered since.

So I guess this is their idea to

I guess

give him something.

I know, but let me ask you as a guy who reads current comics, I don't feel I am qualified or I should be able to weigh in because I don't read new comics.

I don't like when people are like, oh, new comics suck

if you don't read them.

Like, I could say it if I read them.

I don't want to be a guy who's like, oh, they suck now.

Right.

Because I really don't know if they do or not.

But can you go to the well too often?

Because didn't they make Damien also bisexual?

Not Damien, Tim Drake.

Tim Drake.

Yeah.

So that's a lot of...

That's a lot of.

Oh, your list is incomplete, my friend.

It's Tim Drake is bisexual.

The new Aquaman is gay.

Wonder Woman is now bisexual.

Diana Prince?

Yeah, Wonder Woman.

Because that's the first one there.

Because all these other characters that they're saying Superman is bisexual, it's not really...

The Superman that you grew up on.

So these are people who have taken the mantle, but they're not the actual original characters.

Correct.

But Diana Prince, Wonder Woman, has come out and said.

Well, she's just has a relationship with women and shit now, as well as men.

But, you know, she lives on an island full of women.

I mean, what are you going to do?

You got to do what you got to do, bud.

You know, it's like prison rules.

Nothing wrong with that.

Yeah.

And then Green Lantern, Alan Scott.

Yeah, I knew that.

That was and his son.

Oh, and his son, too.

And his son are both gay.

They're going on double dates.

What?

Yeah, dude.

Even as a string.

Personally, I wouldn't want to go on a double date with my dad.

actually i would take a go good money on a double date with that

he'd probably be a terrible wingman yeah i mean tom taylor the guy who wrote that issue uh who's writing the soup band series is a really good writer um but there's no way in hell i would ever read that book now because like the same thing happened i wasn't reading anyway because i don't like adult john but like

all it's going to be now is a relationship book like you can't give him a boyfriend and have him come out as bisexual and have it be a big thing and and not focus significant amounts of the book.

And I'm just like, and Tom Taylor, like I said, great writer, but it's like, man, do I hate romance and comic books?

Anyone, like,

doesn't matter.

Like, Dick Grayson and fucking Oracle, like, when they get all Lovey W, I'm like, oh, who cares?

Do you think this will move units?

Oh, for sure.

Early for that issue.

Yeah.

Because I got this email.

I think there's a strange movement, though, for DC Comics, because there's a new book coming out called Robbins.

I got an email about.

I still get emails, even though I'm not really in the comic book world anymore.

But look at some of the variant covers for Robins.

What the fuck?

That's a comic book or that's a men's magazine?

That is really weird.

Is that really,

like, I mean, you talk about beefcake.

Oh, my God.

Like, I thought there was a movement to, you know, like, I know they don't like to like sexualize the female characters, but they seem to have a problem with these covers for the new the marriage robins they're making up for it hey man turnaround is fair play did you see that package i didn't as well check it out i guess i'll forward you the email

uh i don't you know what do i know i'm more of an older school comic book reader um

i can't see this selling books i mean i don't think it'll i don't i'm not going to be on there saying like it will that it

can't help it maybe in the short term

but as soon as you get those guys who are like speculating, like, okay, this is a key issue because this is revealed, they ain't coming back for the next issue.

No, and most comic book fans that I know are like, I don't really want to read about a fucking like dating superhero like book, which is what it's going to become.

It's just what it's going to become.

And

that's the problem.

But

that's not what people are hearing.

Like, I don't care that he's bisexual.

Like, if I was an unlimited powered alien god, like, I might fuck everything that moved to.

I don't care.

My point is, like, I just don't want to, like, like, you read Grant Morrison's books, and they're so imaginative and so, like, they really transport you to, like, another fucking world.

And the master craftsmen of comic books take you to stories that you can't imagine.

And, like, that's what I go to comics for, not for fucking a relationship book, which is like, they have to focus on the relationship now.

They have no choice.

Then one that's pandering to the issues of today.

Which is, you know, fucking no matter how you feel about the issues of today, it's just like,

I got it.

Yeah.

I got it everywhere.

Yeah, we all got it.

But I, but that's whatever, man.

Like, but, but I don't, but there are people who are like, I'm excited to read about

Superman's sons and his relationship foibles.

And good.

They got a book for you.

But are they guilty of just sticking their toe in the water and not going all the way, jumping in the pool?

They should have made him trans?

No, but that would be fucking

crazy.

Awesome.

He's, you know,

he likes peanut butter and jelly.

Yeah.

You know, but like, instead of making it his son, why don't they just make it Superman then?

Like, jump in the pool all the way.

Just don't keep your toe in.

You can't do that to Superman.

He's got 80 years of continuity.

That's really, oh, yeah, I'm gay.

He's married.

A lot of dudes.

Do people want to see that from Superman?

Like, him cheating on

the dark way.

You know, figuring it out.

There's an understanding.

I don't know if people want to see that.

Oh, then

you find out, though, that Lex Luther was using a mind warping.

To turn him gay yeah like it warped his mind so he's like i'm gay now

not warping i said warping's a bad word

like it was it was maybe maybe a super concussion yeah

sure

i mean i got to be honest i'd read it i'd have to read that book

but there just seems like they're kind of like

just dipping their toe in instead of just being like, okay, we're not just going to create these new characters and call

Superman or Aquaman, just make Arthur Curry.

Well, I mean, that's, isn't that the argument, though, though?

That people are saying, like, stop changing our characters, make up new characters.

And that's what they're doing.

But they're using the names of the iconic names to get around it.

They got to do it.

But, like, I mean, you can't fault them for that, but you're just saying.

I just, I'm not.

I'm faulting them for just not going all the way.

Just go all the way now.

I think they should have made John Kent trans.

I think that would have been

a fucking...

Now that's something I'd have to read.

Because then you're like, wait So they have to use kryptonite knives to to like do the gender reassignment surgery You see what I'm saying like right away like what's going on here?

Yeah, who would you get to do who would you enlist to do the operation in the DCU?

Ray Palmer?

Oh the the Adam?

Yeah, maybe he's smart, right?

Yeah,

I don't know if he's a surgeon though.

No.

He got a lot of fruit flies.

I was going to say, why do you happen to step down?

Walk down to the office.

Bring some mosquito netting.

Giddam maintains he thinks they're coming through the the events from another from another office.

Like he even has a little fruit fly trap set up.

We're not even eating in here.

It's really bizarre.

It's yeah, it's pretty nuts.

And it's been been weeks now.

Two weeks.

Yeah.

So how are they living?

Has a piece of fruit even walked through the door here?

No.

That's weird.

Other than that, that

crate of bananas that's in the back.

I don't know.

I don't know.

I don't know how they're getting in here.

See, it sounds like this.

I wish you still were at the comic book store because I would be curious to see what the average comic book reader's reaction to it is.

That would be interesting to see, but I guess we'll find out eventually.

Yeah, I mean,

I guess we'll see.

I mean,

like I said, I saw that it got mainstream coverage, you know, in the in the news media.

So, and that's,

I mean, at the end of the day, that's all DC really wants and needs is like to get somehow to get people in to buy the books, because I know that the industry is struggling big time sales-wise.

I think you're right.

I mean, I think you're going to see that initial surge.

But then after that, it's like, is one bisexual person going to be like, finally, a character for me.

Now I'm going to start reading and collecting comics.

Like, it just seems like that's like the hook just isn't enough.

Yeah, I don't know.

I didn't even, like I said, I didn't even realize he had.

Because is he underage or is he of age?

Honestly, dude, since they aged him up from a kid, I haven't read a single story with that character.

Like, I read the first one that he was i shouldn't say a single story the first interaction with him in superman is when he was aged up and i was like this character sucks now like remember didn't they do that to lobo though turn him into a a youngster he's got a daughter now he's got a daughter okay also bisexual so there you go wow there's a lot of buy going on instead of go all the way yeah instead of like you know trying to like you know

play both sides.

I think they are literally playing both sides.

Yeah, Lobo's daughter.

I guess everybody that has kids is

something in the water over in the DC universe.

Not in the Marvel Universe, you don't see it

as much as you see in the middle of the year.

I don't see Miles Morales making out with any dudes.

It says here,

in 2016, it was stated that he was 10 years old.

During the 2019 story arc,

the Unity saga, The House of L, John was aged up to 17 years and given a new Superboy Kryptonian suit of armor.

All right, so it's cool.

So he's 18.

So he's 19,

according to this.

Yeah.

Bend this really ruined that character.

I heard all the big names.

They fled DC too.

Like

all their big name writers.

I don't know, man.

Yeah, I don't keep up on new comics.

I don't recognize any of the writers anymore.

I don't recognize anything.

What about the artists, too?

When I was at the stash when I was flipped through some new books, I didn't recognize really any of the writers anymore either.

I mean, the artists.

Yeah.

You know what, dude?

We got old.

Yeah.

It's like music.

It's like music.

It's all right.

Yeah.

What are you going to to do?

You know what?

I read a lot of trades today.

Yeah.

Yeah.

I love, I like, yeah, that's my favorite thing is like when an old collection comes in of an old masterwork game.

Yeah.

Like that's the shit like I'm reading now.

It's just like, that's also a sign of getting old.

Yeah.

Tell me about it.

Just keep returning to the same stuff because it was just better.

Yeah, I got a collection recently of Marvel team-ups from 1976, and every issue that I was reading in it, I can remember vividly where I was when I first bought it.

I can remember the Krausers I walked into

in Madawan.

I can remember the 7-Eleven that I walked in and bought the next issue in.

It's just so vivid, and the stories are not that great, but it doesn't matter.

I love them.

Yeah, it's just kind of cool.

Everybody's straight.

I mean, my first thing when I read that Superman, like about him being bisexual, wasn't like anything to do with him being gay.

My first thought, it's so funny, was

fuck, now we're stuck with this character.

Because it was my hope that somebody

was going to write

the aged up John out and bring back the kid.

I was hoping they were going to do something where this turned out to be like an evil double and the kid's really somewhere being held and Superman saves him and we get that character that we like back.

And I know eventually somebody would have done that because this John character is so fucking lame.

But now that he's bisexual, there's fucking nobody's touching that.

No way he's gonna do anything but succeed and be a good guy on every possible level.

So it's like, okay, well, now we're stuck with this.

Now, when Superman married Lois, was that back from when I remember them getting married?

Yeah.

So they've been married for decades now.

Yeah.

They never tried to retcon that out where he like they did with Peter Parker and Mary Jane.

No.

DC stuck to their guns and made him and made her

slain a honest woman.

My Superman has basically always been married.

Yeah.

Interesting.

Yeah.

But Superman doesn't need stories.

Does he need stories where he's single?

Like Peter Parker, I could see him being single causing him problems, and that's good for the comic.

But I don't care about Superman going on dates and shit like that.

Him being single does nothing for me.

I don't care.

It's fine.

You know what I mean?

Speaking of dates and being married, did you see the new bond?

I didn't.

You saw it?

Yeah, I saw it.

I did not see it.

I did get a review from Walter.

Oh, really?

It was better than I thought it was going to be.

It was better than I had feared it would be.

I remember in the last episode, I mentioned that I had

some trepidations about that they were going to introduce a new female agent that was going to school Bond and save the day.

But, boy,

that was a red herring because

she's barely in the movie.

And I thought maybe they were setting her up to be, you know, to take the mantle of Bond in the next movie, but even that is not the case.

I have no idea why they even inserted this new female 007 into things.

Wow, that's interesting.

Yeah, she was barely in the movie.

But isn't it like a three-hour movie?

Yeah.

Oh, fuck.

Fella four.

That's why I don't think I can go to a theater to see it because

it was like two hours, 56 minutes.

I was like, oh, man.

Yeah, it's a long one.

It's not good, huh?

You don't seem that.

No, I'd give it a C.

I'd give it a C.

And I've talked to some listeners who are Bond fanatics who have

come into the new general store, and we talked about it, and they were like hardcore Bonds, and they give it an A.

They loved it.

So, yeah, don't take my review as something that should make you see it or not see it, because a lot of people who love Bond say it was fucking they loved it.

Are there good action sequences?

Can you give it that?

In the beginning.

In the beginning, there, there's a lot of cool stunts and everything.

But as the movie progresses, there's a lot less stunt work.

And like all Bond does in the last half hour is just peek around corners and shoot bad guys.

So like he looks upstairs, shoots.

He looks across the room, shoots.

And he's not given a lot of like

intricate stunts to do after the first

hour of the movie.

And someone told me that was here, a Bond fanatic, said that that's because he broke his ankle

in filming the movie.

Still, you can't see his face onto another stunt man.

Yeah, I was going to say,

I didn't know he was like Tom Cruise.

I didn't realize he did his own stunts.

92%, it says on Rotten Tomatoes.

86% audience.

Do you want me to spoil it for you or no?

You can.

I really don't care.

You have heard

my, what's that?

You must have heard what happens at the end, right?

No.

Oh, that one.

I'm like, T.

What is that?

Why, what happens at the end?

Does he get married or does he die?

It's one of the two.

Some will say it's one and the same, right?

I would say that.

So how's my girl in it?

Anna,

what's her name?

That girl?

She shows up in a black dress for like one fight scene.

Oh, I don't know who you're talking about.

Oh, what's her name?

She was in Knives Out with him.

No, I have no idea who you're talking about.

There's a couple of female agents that he comes into contact with.

Anna D.

Armis,

this woman.

Oh, yeah, yeah.

I remember the dress.

She's in it.

She pops in and pops out

and really has no ramifications later in the movie.

It's a strange

little subplot, yeah.

It has no ramifications on the plot of the movie,

her involvement as well.

Oh, that's unfortunate.

I was like looking forward to, I like her a lot.

She was good in it.

You know, she plays

a very green agent.

First mission.

Oh, is she a double O agent?

I don't know if she's a double O.

She maybe.

I can't remember what she said, but um

but she's just as good as bond even on her first mission well yeah of course

tell me that waltz

yeah but um

you know i heard it's making good box office right yeah yeah so they say it's they say it's a fitting end to the bond for his character okay this actor's run as bond

and they they don't typically set up sequels right to the next guy they did say like there was a a thing at the end that said James Bond will return.

So I guess maybe they're going to go back in time.

James Bond will return or 007 will return?

James Bond.

That's where everybody's fixating on that.

They didn't say 007 will return.

They say James Bond will return.

But there is a rumor out there.

They say that there's a theory that

James Bond is also a fake name given to him.

That's not even his real name.

But then people are like, well, that has to be his real name because it was on a tombstone or something like that.

Right, right.

Yeah.

I don't know.

But I mean, I would see it if I were you.

Yeah, I'll probably just

got him.

Nice.

I'll probably just wait for it to come home because that's a long

one.

Especially like when you're throwing in commercials and trailers and everything.

Like you're in for three and a half hours.

Yeah.

Holy fuck, there's another one.

They're all over the place.

This is fucking crazy.

My wife says to put out detergent.

Yeah.

Yeah, so we're going to put some detergent out.

Oh, yeah.

What does that do?

Like it attracts them and kills them?

Yeah, I think that gets on their feet.

Oh, yeah.

And their bipods or whatever, and then they can't

bring it.

Why can't anything just be good?

Why can't we just have an office without fruit flies?

You can't have everything.

I don't know.

I know.

That's the price we pay.

We don't eat here.

If I had told you we could have this sweet-ass office, but there's going to be fruit flies.

You would have signed up for that.

I don't know what I would have.

I would have been like, maybe we could find another office.

That's the only thing that's going to be a problematic issue.

It's just there's going to be a couple of fruit flies.

It's all I'm going to be able to focus on.

So I'd say, maybe we should get something else.

Well, the other problem was the other day I heard, Walt, you wanted to kind of raise the temperature in here a little bit

in the studio.

I need a place to store my meat, dude.

It was so fucking cold in here because I came in and left before you got here.

Yeah.

And I was like, this is insane.

Like the other office is like 80.

Like the first part of the office, this part was like 60.

I'm not exaggerating, right?

It was so fucking.

No, it really doesn't.

Like the air doesn't go into the other office.

But if you close the door, it all stays in here and gets very cold, which is nice.

Yeah, I mean, I like it.

This is my preferred temperature.

Did you?

It can get it cold enough, too, but the fruit flies can't survive

very long at such cold temperatures.

I hope.

Don't they have a lifespan of like two days anyway?

Speaking of gay and Toms, your boy Tom Cruise, have you seen him lately?

I can't say I have.

You have not?

Really?

He's extremely puffy, looking like a chipmunk.

What?

Chipmunk.

Yeah, like

handsome Tom Cruise.

Age finally caught up on him?

And I'll show you a picture of him.

I was shocked.

Oh.

Puffy.

What could cause that puffiness, Age?

Alcohol use.

Oh, man.

But I feel like that's not him, right?

Who knows, man?

This guy's life's got to catch him up to him at some point, no?

The prompted...

Okay, so here he is.

Normal and then puffy.

Oh, that's Photoshop.

No, because I've seen several pictures of him in different places.

It is puffy, but it's still damn fucking sexy.

Look, he's better looking than me.

He's looking puffy.

He is looking puffy, right?

Everybody's going to get a little puffy as they grow older.

I mean, people wanted to put him on this, like, like, like he's.

What do you mean, people?

He's talking about you.

He's never going to show any signs of aging.

I think it's unrealistic expectations for Tom Cruise.

It's unrealistic, but it's like it's been a constant in our lives.

It's like Tom Cruise has always been good looking.

Right.

You know, and he's always looked younger.

Are you?

Wait a minute.

Are you saying he doesn't look good looking anymore?

Are you willing to go out on that?

By yourself?

I'm not going to say that.

But I will say by myself.

I can't count on you, Scar.

I never thought it was that good looking.

I'm not on team Tom Cruise.

But yeah.

You know me.

My guy's Brad Pitt.

But it does seem you're right.

It seems like like when you get older, and God, I hope it doesn't happen to me, but like people's heads get bigger and puffier.

Well, that could be human growth hormone, too.

You think so?

Does he take that stuff?

That also can try to keep that.

I've heard that's what makes people not look like they age either.

And that will make your skull grow.

It makes your skull grow, but it makes you look young.

Well, yeah, because you're hydrocephalic.

That's what Stallone took.

And that's what Barry Bonds took.

And their skulls got bigger?

Barry Bonds' skull definitely got bigger.

Yeah.

I didn't know skulls did that.

That's so crazy.

Well, I think you're talking about the skin and sinew and muscles and all that shit surrounding the skull.

You're not saying that their skull size increases.

You're saying their head gets bigger.

Oh, yeah, yeah.

The head gets bigger.

Yeah, I'm not a scientist.

You're not?

Well, I was just listening to you about all this shit.

But I mean, you could look at Barry Bond's footage from him as a rookie and Barry Bond's footage when he retired.

And it's a totally different body, different head size.

Yeah.

You know who else looked like that?

God rest his soul norm macdonald like norm was had a very narrow face for a lot like a long part of his career and then towards the end i don't know if it was because of the cancer or like medications or whatever but yeah his he looked very puffy as well on his probably head cuffs probably the medication yeah yeah that stuff's hard on the body man

i think that's probably just a bad lighting on that photo you know they got him in a bad angle

getting out of a limo getting out of a limo probably right with his head down no he was at a baseball game yeah but they they took the most unflattering shot they could find

that's probably true yeah you know they probably took 30 pictures and 29 were fucking stunning

the last one was puffy they're like print it

fans are acting asking if it's actually him

because he's so puffy maybe he's but maybe he's packing it on for a roll he's known to do that maybe he's just like man i'm in my 50s i want to relax a little bit yeah

is he i thought he was 60 at this point is he in his late 50s?

Oh,

I think he's in his 60s already.

Because some people are think that he maybe had a, got some plastic surgery, but he doesn't seem like the type, right?

Oh, I think he did at some point.

You think so?

Oh, yeah.

I think so.

Tom Cruise looks like my aunt now.

Oh, boy.

Who said that?

Diane70.

Somebody on Twitter.

Oh.

Hardly recognize Tom Cruise here.

What has Tom Cruise done to his face?

Tom Cruise don't even look like Tom Cruise.

tom cruise unbelievable yeah there's another picture of him posing with some guy at the baseball game

he's 59 yeah you're right

see that's a much better picture he looks like tom cruise

asshole

i'd still watch him slide across the room in his underwear paparazzi

he's a damn paparazzi to sell a photo they they'll do anything

i uh

i wonder how his boner is though that's really the question.

Because

if it's not on point, I got something for him here.

Yeah, I was going to say, even if it's not, even if it's not, he can fix it real quick with a little Blue Chew, right?

A little Blue Chew.

You're right.

How did you know I was going to bring that up?

Because this episode is sponsored by Blue Chew.

It's been a hell of a year.

See, I'm not going to read all this stuff because I don't feel like I've aged 12 years over the last 12 months.

I feel like I've aged 20 years over the last 12 months.

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Is there still that kind of shame surrounding

these products?

Well, I mean, I've heard a lot of incidents of postal theft.

Oh, really?

So that's that's maybe why that you don't want to put slap all over the box Blue Chew because then you'll have people stealing it who can't, who, you know, who just want to get a quick, easy boner.

Right.

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Bobby just pops it.

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Yes, we do.

Yes, we do.

I still never signed up for them.

I keep saying I'm going to.

Do you think that

our sponsors would send, like, you know, like some of the other sponsors would send samples that we can give out at the general store when people come in?

Just like small samples, not only of Blue Chew.

Yeah, yeah.

Blue Chew as well.

I mean, just like a little half a tablet.

Yes.

Something like that wouldn't be dangerous to somebody.

I don't know if we want to be the ones handing out medication,

even if they said yes.

But you know, that'd be nice though.

Like we like as people visit, we give them a sample of some of our sponsor's wares.

Yeah, we have a sponsor later on.

I bet you we could.

See, I don't know.

Everything's like tailored to people, though.

Like this Blue Chew is tailored to you.

So you know how many milligrams you need and shit.

And I think if I were like, look, we want to bypass the whole.

Blue Chew is easy, but we want to bypass the whole doctor angle so we could give it away at the general general store we have we have we have a bowl of stickers and patches that like free stuff that we give that we call it the termite bowl that we let people dig through what if all i all of a sudden down at the bottom there was a little fucking blue chew blue chew pill that it's just loose

i gotta tell you i'd probably be tempted to take it no matter what it was

that was this i don't know

well you never saw stones in concert right

mick and the gang yeah yeah do you see I've seen some movies about them.

I've seen them.

Three times?

Yeah.

Well, if you ever go again, guess what they're not going to be playing?

Oh, Brown Sugar.

Brown Sugar.

I heard about this.

Can you dance so good?

Yeah.

As many times as I've heard brown sugar, and it's been a lot, I've never really thought about the lyrics.

I've never like...

Heard the lyrics, rather,

just the chorus, pretty much.

Yeah, because it's just been around the whole time.

It's been around for such a good song that you're like.

And then when you read the lyrics, you're like, wow, I'm surprised it lasted this long.

Yeah.

Yeah.

There's a lot of whipping and a lot of whipping, a lot of slave stuff, whipping at midnight.

Yeah.

I mean.

Prime whipping time, I suppose.

I wonder,

but he's not singing about it.

But if you listen to metal songs, aren't they about death and stuff like that?

Yeah, I think death is more acceptable than slavery.

Yeah.

Because slavery, you're a victim.

Death just happens.

Sure.

That's That's a pretty big song to remove from your library.

People go to see that.

They want to hear that song.

Do you think there'll be

one side of the arena?

Oh, yeah.

You know, the Trump side will be screaming, brown sugar, brown sugar, brown sugar, putting pressure on Mick to

sing brown sugar there.

I don't know.

I mean, could they possibly care?

How old are they at this point?

They've made their money off this song.

Well, Charlie Watts just died.

He's 80 years old.

I

what's his name?

Keith Richards is like 79 or 70.

Is there a deep cut that you'd like to see them replace?

Yeah, I wouldn't mind seeing

You Got the Silver.

It's

real deep.

I don't even know what that is.

It's deep, and it's one of the rare Keith Richards-sung album songs.

Wow, you know what?

My favorite Keith Richards song is?

Is Little TNA?

Little TNA.

That's real.

Does he sing that?

I think he does, right?

Boy, that's a tough one to sing in this.

I don't know if he could do that anymore.

I thought Mike they retired as well.

I don't know.

I mean, I wonder where, you know, all they could sing now is Jumperjack Flash for two hours.

That's their, they said, that's the

song they played the most in concert.

Brown Sugar was second, from what I read.

Oh, yeah.

So, yeah, that's a big hole in the set list.

They've got so many songs.

They could fill that hole pretty easily.

I mean, it is a good song.

That's the thing.

It's a fucking rocking song.

I don't know.

Isn't it,

does it feel weird that they're like going going after songs for lyrics?

Well, I don't think, I'm sure that nobody even,

nobody was probably even pressuring them.

I'm sure Mick.

Oh, they just Mick probably just was preemptive and was like, you know what?

Yeah.

No brown sugar.

That was my English accent.

You said Russian.

Maybe.

Yeah, maybe sick of performing the song.

Yeah.

How could you not be?

They've been performing it since what, early 70s?

Yeah.

I don't even know when the song came out, but probably late 60s, early 70s.

Yeah.

I don't know, man.

Does that mean, like, yeah, if he pulled it himself, I mean, who cares?

Who gives a shit at the end of the day?

They're not taking it off the album.

What was the name of this one?

You might get retired from the airwaves, though.

104.3

could be like, that's it.

You'll never hear this song ever played on the airwaves again.

That's all.

Oh, the second.

The second this came out, I'll bet you some

slope.

If you're only going to play songs that you

agree with the lyrics,

what's happening to art?

Yeah, but hey man.

I think that's why they took the dire star straight song off the air.

Which one?

We gotta move this microwave oven.

Or you know what?

They sanitize it.

They take the F-word out of it, which was the Geissler.

The like the Geissler, you said?

Yeah, I think that they removed

they play a clean version.

It's funny you should mention that because for some reason, I can't remember what the project was, but when Sage

came home one day, it's like they had to listen to certain songs.

Right.

And that was one of them.

The Dire Strait song?

The Dire Strait song.

I thought it was so weird, but I guess it's like the teacher's a fan.

And Mary Beth wrote to the teacher, she's like, I'm not sure if you realize this.

But it's just like that, it was over.

Like that, it was gone.

Jeez.

Yeah.

Yeah, what do you do?

Nothing, man.

Pull it, Yankee.

Fucking hide it.

It's just so funny because the people going to Rolling Stone concerts are people who've been listening to that songs for

decades.

Yeah, they kind of.

It doesn't mean that to them anymore.

If it ever did, it means something else.

Do you

think

they'll continue without the drummer, Charlie Watts?

Oh, for sure.

Yeah.

Yeah, they'll still tour.

Why not?

No, I'm just wondering if, like, maybe, like you said, they're so old at this point, but I fear that if they stop touring, they might just die.

They might just die.

Yeah.

I hope they keep touring, man.

At their age,

you know, just ride it to the end.

Can you imagine, Q, like, you know, like you've toured and

you've mentioned how tiring it is.

Yeah.

Can you imagine 35 years from now doing the same thing?

Yeah, but I guarantee you that the way they tour isn't the way they're

touring the same way and all.

It's different when you're a billionaire as opposed to like me.

But do you think that, like, not that I've seen you up there?

You're putting out a lot of energy, but do you think that you're putting out as much energy as Mick does up there?

No.

That's what I'm saying.

Like, that's for that guy, that age, that's fucked up.

It's crazy.

It keeps him going, like I said, yeah.

Yeah.

But they're on private jet, private jet, private jet, every single show.

That's the thing that gets you, is the travel.

It's not the performing.

It's the fucking eight hours on a bus that you don't sleep.

And then you wake up in a town, you forget what fucking town you're in.

And do I get sleep before the show?

And then you don't.

And then it's a fucking, then you're back on the bus.

It's just like a warp.

But if you're like, shows over private jet to the next town, I'm there in two hours.

Who gives a fuck?

I do that all week.

Yeah, but Mick's still got to shake that booty for fucking two and a half years.

He does.

It's impressive.

Yeah.

I mean, the other guys can just sit there like this.

Yeah, Keith Richard parent looks like he's alive.

But Mick's got, I mean, Mick's got a standard to live up to.

He's got to jump around that standard.

He's got to gyrate.

You know, and he can't have an ounce of fat on him either.

No.

Like you say that did the poor Tom Cruise.

I know.

That's what they'll do to him.

Everybody turned against him.

Everyone's calling him his aunt.

Poor Tom Cruise.

Poor, poor Tom Cruise.

I was surprised to hear that in this office, there's an ardent Rangers fan who posts on Instagram about the Rangers.

In this office?

I was surprised.

I was shocked that it was allowed.

Shocked it was allowed.

You think he's doing that like a little bit in your face?

No.

I mean, when you call him ardent,

that's a poor choice of words.

And I think he would agree with me.

He's the most ignorant hockey fan I've ever come across.

It's absolutely a labor to have a conversation about him with sports even because it just sounds like I'm talking to adult.

And I am.

Yeah, it's office coach himself, 148, who...

who is a Ranger fan.

For one of the worst reasons, he's a Ranger fan.

Because years ago, a girl he liked was a Ranger fan, so so he became a Ranger fan.

Oh, that is lame.

Oh, my God.

You know, come on, man.

Grow a set of nuts and fucking root for the devils.

Now I know why it's allowed because you couldn't possibly take him seriously.

You just couldn't.

A girl who, you know, that's not in his life anymore, but yet he's still.

Yeah, I could see switching allegiances to get like some ass in the short term,

but to keep on years after she fucking knocked her teeth out with a pool.

This is a different one.

It's not even the one that knocked his teeth out.

But like, I have to, like, I have to admit, he doesn't even know I do this, but I turn my phone off when there's a sporting event because

of the

ignoramus-esque techs that come through, like, that I have to be bombarded with with him asking me questions.

Why is this happening?

What happened here?

Why was that offside?

And you don't want to educate your son.

You just don't want to deal with it.

Oh, yeah.

I'm just like, I'm at home now you know i was with him all day answering questions

i needed some alone time so his fandom is

causing you stress

yeah you know he could go online and tweet these questions out to fans of the show and he would uh

he would he would learn all of everything he needs to learn

good old get him i had a another tom story the tom cruise yeah uh tom brady story oh oh looks like uh tom brady's up to to his old shenanigans.

Tom Brady gets a block from referee during a win over the Eagles.

What do you mean, a block?

They said that

the Cameras caught a questionable moment in the second quarter of Tampa Bay's 2022 win over Philadelphia.

After Brady threw a long interception, the referee appeared to insert himself between Brady and defensive and Derek Barnett, who attempted to block the quarterback while the play was still live.

Yeah,

if you watched that video, that is complete and utter bullshit.

Oh, is it?

Yeah.

I'm ignorant, sorry.

Now, what teams are doing now,

Q, is like, let's say you're a quarterback, let's say you have a star quarterback, which, or you're starting quarterback, which you don't want to lose.

If you throw an interception

in the past, the team that intercepted the ball would hunt out the quarterback because now he's live game and you can block him.

You can absolutely drill him now.

Okay.

Like there's no like, you like, you know, hitting the quarterback late,

which they call now constantly.

But now he's fair game to just go and like

annihilate.

So what teams have done is like they've instructed their quarterbacks, if you throw an interception, run off the field.

Really?

Yeah.

Which is not the most manly

thing I've heard at a football game.

I haven't seen this happen yet, but some coaches have said, like, if you're Tom Brady,

you don't want to get knocked out of the game or knocked out for the season because some fucking 300-pound lineman.

It seems vicious that the lineman would even do this just to take him out.

Well, yeah, I mean, if you knock him out, you got a much better chance of winning the game.

Yeah, but we all have careers and families.

But

in this instance,

Brady is not even looking to go tackle the guy who intercepted the past.

He's just sitting back there and wants no part of it.

And

I believe the ref would probably do this for any quarterback.

Obviously, he knows what the opposing player is trying to do.

And fortunately for Brady, one of his big giant linemen saw it and came over and stepped in and got in between him before anything else could happen.

Yeah, but that's what that's what the...

So not nearly as scandalous as it sounded.

No, not at all.

I believe if it was another star quarterback on another team, the referee would look out for that player's interests, especially if the quarterback isn't even trying to get active into the play.

He's like...

He wants no part of it.

He knows he's not going to be able to make that tackle.

He knows he doesn't want to get caught up in that mess of humanity that's, you know,

that are, you know, now it's a, what's it called, a fire drill because it's so scattered once an interception is made because now offensive players have to become defensive players and they've never tackled anybody.

So it becomes like, it becomes chaos, and they don't want a star quarterback, the face of the league, going down on such a fucking bizarre, shitty play.

It's amazing that more people don't dislike Tom Brady.

He's such a winner that you would figure.

He's dislike quite a bit.

Is he really?

Anytime i hear anybody talk about him it's like glowing no well i always hear it's like you can't deny the guy's skill and record but i i think a lot of people don't like him right no but he's undeniable in terms of his talent i haven't met anybody that is uh that says he's not you know what he claimed what every whatever else claims he is you know i think it's hard to deny it at this point If there's anybody out there, you can contact K-Muse too.

I'll listen to your delusions.

I'd rather listen to that than Giddle

telling me why he's not, you know, after all the, all the championships and all the all the records.

There's.

He doesn't look puffy yet either.

Not at all.

No.

That's one jawline that's not going to get puffy.

Strong.

There was...

It's Halloween.

Kim, I know you love Halloween.

Oh, my favorite holiday.

Halloween display at site of triple murder removed after criticism.

And it appears that, Walter, I really wanted your opinion on this because

you have a good barometer for this sort of thing.

So the display outside a home

included three gravestones surrounded by a police tape and evidence marker next to a baseball bat, silhouettes on the front door, and help us scrawled in dripping.

Does that get him?

Help us scrawled in dripping red paint.

The display also included what appeared to be bloody handprints on the front window.

Now, nearly 19 years ago, then 17-year-old John Seasling struck his mother, 42, with a baseball bat and then stabbed her in the neck.

He also beat and stabbed his 15-year-old sister and knifed his six-year-old sister in the neck.

Oh, my God.

All three were killed in the brutal attack.

And then the homeowner said that the home has been in her family for decades and she raised her children there.

I guess they had been renting it to the extent.

So this house where this murder took place, now they have a Halloween display that kind of commemorates it?

Kind of.

That's incredibly bad taste, in my opinion.

Yeah.

Incredibly bad taste.

But you have to take into account, like, Lizzie Bordenhouse is a good example of, like,

a murder

was executed there, and people now go and want to spend extra money to stay in the room where it happened.

Yeah, but is this too soon?

I guess that's what I was going to say.

It all comes down to when the crime was committed.

If the crime was committed in the 1800s before there was fucking electricity, people are willing to allow it.

But if you have a murder that was committed in the 90s,

that is really, really poor taste.

And she said that they were friends with them.

Like, she was friends with the people that she rented the house to.

Yeah.

That's a sicko.

Yeah, if you're able to do that about people you knew,

I don't know.

I think it does say something about you that's a little bit like callous.

Yeah.

You wouldn't like if you got knifed in the neck, you wouldn't want somebody

like the next people setting up a

little display outside your house.

Just because of my job, if I got knifed in the neck, I'm sure I'd be the butt of jokes for fucking fucking decades to come.

So I'm a butt of it.

I don't get any respect in life.

I don't expect any in death.

So there's this game that I was.

Life sucks.

I'm fucking really miserable.

What were we saying, William?

But there was this game I was coming up with that involved Troy.

And it was involving unsolved mysteries and

unresolved cases.

And they real cases, real mysteries and I was bringing in the aspect of fictional detective sleuths and cops that would that would be part of the game and this place of the story this is how I feel

you know I made the right choices like

one of the unsolved mysteries I was like absolutely not I will not use was John Bonet Ramsey because you can't make light of something that fucking horrific but I did use try me but I did use the Lindbergh baby Lindbergh baby, because it's old enough.

Because it's so old, I feel people wouldn't be, it wouldn't be that offensive or it wouldn't be that like, this is not cool to make, to make,

to use in a, in a game that will probably elicit some jokes.

Like, I felt no fucking way would I ever use the

John.

Yeah, John Bonet Ramsey.

But the Lindbergh baby, which I don't think people even

know the aspects of the case.

They don't know the aspects, and I think the two, the thing is, like,

you don't don't know what the fuck the Lindbergh baby looks like.

You say John Bennett Ramsey, boom, you immediately conjure up that picture, and you're like, oh, that little girl who got killed by God knows who.

Yeah, so that was my moral barometer.

So if that guy had asked me about who booted that Halloween display, I would have told him probably, no, don't do that.

If it were,

say, like your next-door neighbor, would you advise them to take it down?

Or would you just be like, fucking all this mind-blowing business?

Yeah, I mean, I know

this is a shocker, but I don't really have that many in-depth conversations with my next-door neighbors that I could go over and

I really don't.

I really couldn't go over and have that kind of like, you know, a heart-to-heart.

Like, you know, like, we need to sit down and let me tell you what the other people in the neighborhood are talking about.

That would be the biggest part.

It's like, I don't want people driving by my house.

And maybe they think it's your house.

Something comes through your fucking window.

I don't want to deal with

all the shit it's going to cause surrounding it.

But speaking of Halloween, Q,

you always used to say it was your favorite holiday because of the lot of the slutty customs.

Yeah.

Have you noticed a

wane in that or is it still sluttier than ever?

Well, I mean,

I guess it's been years since I've even cared about that.

So it's hard for me to hardly.

I didn't know you stopped caring about that.

You might need a little go into the turmoil bowl.

You can fish around for any spare Blue Chew pills maybe at the bottom of the bowl.

Well, you know, that was like back in my days when I was like, you you know, going to bars and

being part of the party and being part of the fun.

Like, how could you not appreciate that everybody was dressed up in sexy costumes around you?

Like,

it was awesome.

But, like, now that I don't engage in that sort of stuff anymore, I don't really have an opinion on it.

Oh, so you don't go online and search for like

videos.

It's just like a young man going out in the world, you know, partying, having fun, like, appreciating that, that for as long as everybody was cool, the girls would dress like sexy sexy nurses or sexy fucking whatever, you know, and it's just like, it was like,

but you stop putting yourself in those situations and then the benefit goes away.

And then you, then I don't care.

They could dress like whatever they want.

I was relying on you to, because I didn't know if it was still something that was

still common or has that kind of thing.

It is.

I mean, yeah, I think it's still common.

Like, I'll still go to the parade and stuff like that, but like, I'm always.

Gay parade?

Sure.

Don't you feel like you're podcasted with Superman's son at this point?

He doesn't like the sexy costumes.

He's going to the gay parade.

No, I thought you meant Halloween parade.

Yeah, Yeah, Halloween parade.

Yeah, it's the gay parade, though, isn't it?

I mean, I never saw it as a gay parade.

What?

To no village.

I thought, like,

same in Hollywood.

Same in West Hollywood.

It's like, it's, yes, it's a Halloween parade, but the gays have commandeered it and turned it into something spectacular.

I know that.

Oh, yeah.

I know this is a good thing.

It's just fucking amazing.

I mean, I've been going since I was like 16.

That always seemed the same to me.

I mean, there's a lot of gays there parading, but I mean, you know, they're.

Are they dressed up in ghoulish outfits?

Is it like.

Sometimes just body glitter, but they look cool.

I don't get what I mean.

Like, go for it.

Who cares?

I'm down.

Is it at least orange and black body glitter?

Because the kids can wear anything these days.

Well, they can wear anything they want.

No, but they.

Well, I mean, if it's Halloween, though, at least do a little less.

I mean, just body glitter alone isn't enough.

Yeah, Q comes home from the parade all shimmery.

Yeah, I'm like, oh my.

Why are the palms of my hands on glitter?

No,

the costumes are still there, but I'm more of an observer at this point than a participant.

So it's different.

All right.

You know, I was just curious if it was still something you look forward to.

It doesn't sound like you do.

No, Halloween is still my favorite holiday.

I probably won't go to the parade again this year because of COVID.

So it's like there's not really too much for me to look forward to.

Well, next week is the, you were going to record the Halloween episode of Helm Seed Days.

Well, that'll be my big Halloween celebration.

That's your big Halloween celebration.

That's my big Halloween celebration, yeah.

I'll dress like a slut for you.

So it's cool.

No, it's still my favorite.

And yeah, last I saw the girls are still dressing up.

They look great.

But it's like, you know, it's that thing too now.

Well, actually, do you think that guys would be...

Because the the only thing that overruins that are asshole dudes who are like, I've always said, like, if they're willing to wear the sexy nurse outfit,

be respectful.

Don't give them any reason not to wear the sexy nurse outfit, right?

Like, that's always an it's like when we went to

Fantasy Fest and like every Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday would be so much fun and awesome because there were no college kids there.

And then the college kids Thursday and suddenly a girl steps out with the body paint.

They're like, yo, baby.

Yeah, like grab it at them.

Yeah, you're like, come, man, you guys don't know the fucking rules.

Same with like a Mardi Grill.

Like, you know, you get a girl on somebody's shoulders, you know, she flashes, and then everybody reaches up to try to grab her boob.

It's like, are you fucking for real?

Guys, if you for real, you want her to do it more?

Yeah, then make it as comfortable as possible for her to do it.

So there's a line, you're saying,

yeah, okay, no, no, no,

no, no, I didn't even think that paired mention, but but yes, no, I agree, but like, is the, but has the line moved, though?

Because now, would a guy be able just to go, like, like just stare lecherously at them?

Like, well, that's cool.

As long as they don't say anything,

except for ah.

Like, why would you allow that?

You just can't have Spittle hanging off his chin.

It's all his beard and shit.

Yeah, but as long as you don't touch or say anything, I think the magic ingredient is not making them uncomfortable.

I forgot what I was missing.

I think the idea is to make them as comfortable as possible so they can wear

it.

But there there's going to be some guys that can't fucking can't handle that outfit without going

no those are the problems

that's the problem that's why you need fucking security that's why you need but they're watching from across the street though is that is that far enough away and with the letters like you know i guess like girls unfold like you're breathing on them and like going uh

yeah it's fine okay look you can't dress up in a sexy outfit and not expect people to look at you what's the fucking point of dressing up in an outfit i don't think anybody's saying that.

That's fucking absurd.

But you got to have it.

It's not a gross fucking old man, though, right?

As long as it's a hot college kid.

I'm sure.

I don't know if any, even like

it should be a give and take at that age, like when you're in the mix, but I don't know what staring is.

Are you going to do a respectful glance?

Yeah, look at that.

How long is the glance before it crosses the line?

Well, it depends on what you're talking about.

20 seconds.

10 to 12 minutes.

20 seconds sounds like a lot.

That's five seconds.

That already feels weird.

All right, two seconds?

Yeah.

Can you get it all in in two seconds?

Well, that's a great thing about the Halloween parade, buddy.

It's everywhere.

It's five seconds in every direction, and you get what you need.

You can always circle back, too.

But the thing is, maybe it wasn't even like

maybe it wasn't even going there.

Because

I always had a healthy amount of female friends.

and they would get dressed up and we would go out.

So I would see my friends dressed provocatively, and that would, you know, it's not really, you know what I mean?

Like,

I'm still, so you were like, you got kind of numb to it?

No, like, those are the people I were looking at.

Like, we were part of a party already.

If my friend Justine came out and she was dressed all sexy and shit, like,

you know, her, I could stare at and go, ugh, if I want, because she's my fucking friend.

But I'm just saying, for guys like me who have never been in those situations, like, what is the what is the time limit before you should turn away?

I think you know.

I don't.

Now, at our age.

Yeah.

Versus, like I said, like 30 years ago.

Yeah, what's the time limit before you're like, before someone looks at you and goes, what's your problem?

Just for looking.

I mean, in my experience, two seconds.

It's pretty quickly.

Just

stare at you?

Yeah.

Okay, all right.

There could be like a hot group of people at the end of the bar, and you could like.

But I'm talking about Halloween, though.

but a concentrated stare

sell this information

a lot of guys need this really yeah

definitely

guys like it's like i've always said like the only way you're gonna get more of what you want is if you treat them respectfully you should be a bar coach that's why if girls fucking send you naked pictures of themselves you don't fucking show it to anybody you don't tell anybody you keep her comfortable so she keeps how do you then how do your friends know you're a player they they know how do they know they know

You could tell them.

This is the downfall of every high school kid who bangs their high school teachers.

They got to show pictures to their friends, and immediately they got busted.

If they would just keep it under wraps, you could keep going back to the well.

That's it.

That's the best well of all.

Yeah, you got to just treat people respectfully and allow them to act as loose as they want.

But if you see a costume that's so off the charts, yeah, like what?

I don't know.

Like witchblade.

Maybe it's maybe it's a a sexy Tom Brady, a female.

That's what I'm doing.

It's just saying for me.

And I'm at this bar, and it's like, you know, what would be the, what would be like, stop.

You guys just look over and then like,

what's my 24 seconds?

So let me ask you something.

How long would you look if your wife was with you?

Not at all.

I poke my eyes out.

Straws in your geometry compass.

You know, I mean,

I think that

you really don't want to like.

Two seconds?

Yeah, you could probably get away with a little more.

But I wouldn't say that.

Let me just say what two seconds is.

One Mississippi, two Mississippi.

That's it.

Yeah, you know,

I wouldn't go much more than five.

I got to be honest with you.

Five's pretty long.

Yeah, yeah.

I got bad eyes, too.

I mean, I can't see shit.

Yeah.

Half your time is putting on your glasses.

Yeah, do I have time?

Can I take my, like, is that a bad move to take the glasses out and then, like, and then

like, oh,

clean them off quickly.

Does that count as my two seconds, or does that not count?

No, you're not looking.

That's prep work.

Glasses are magnifying your eyes and shit.

Yeah.

Wow.

All right.

These are things that a lot of guys need to know.

They don't realize this.

I mean, if we knew it, then we wouldn't be going through all this fucking sexual harassment shit.

Well, anybody that's listening to this show, I mean, I've been beating that drum for a decade now.

Like, I've always said that.

Right, but I'm talking about like the nuances.

This is the tiny stuff that really nobody has ever, I don't think, ever brought up.

Like, how long is too long to take a peek?

20 years ago, you might have said 10 seconds.

I also think we shouldn't, why don't we ask like, you know, a girl?

No, we know better.

Like, I'm just giving my opinion.

I think that you're pretty much spot on.

I would trust you with this type of

advice.

I always try to err on the side of like, of, of.

Has anybody ever said,

like, have you looked too long and ever been and said something no so I mean so obviously you know yeah but what if I left a few seconds on the table

what if I could get eight nine seconds and I'm and I'm leaving that behind it's it's a science yeah like what if there's a girl who's like I don't know take 20 seconds

and I'm fucking here spurting out a two two two three seconds

and you can't even like you can't and don't ever use the excuse well she's wearing a costume I mean I'm admiring a costume that's not gonna fly

Like, that is not going to fly, right?

Even the fact that she's dressed in some crazy costume.

Well, I mean, here's the thing.

If she's dressed

as the sexy Tom Brady,

what is the point of dressing in anything like that unless you want people to look at you?

Well, that's, yeah, that's the, I thought the flip side of the coin.

So on Halloween, you might be able to.

Yeah, I'm just talking about Halloween.

I'm not talking about their 300 seconds.

Because there's a costume element to it.

Because if somebody was walking down the street dressed as Batman and looked like fucking Batman, you'd be like, whoa, cool costume.

You know what I mean?

But you wouldn't go,

no, the movie is Batman.

So you got to get a pay cool, man.

If those new Robin covers were fucking...

Jesus Christ.

Who are they selling that to?

I think it's pretty obvious.

I'm not.

No self-respecting, like, what dude's going in there and being like, yeah, that one with Dick Grayson's fucking junk hanging out in a boxing ring?

I'll take that one.

uh i mean i would imagine to the to the

to the female audience that that comics definitely has great then can we put starfire back in her old costume then whoa it's angry yeah let's fucking do it let's fucking do it

well starfire is not allowed to wear her old costume her old purple metallic um bikini no she doesn't wear that anymore it's got i heard red sonia has to retire the mick the metal bikini too why i think she's getting a movie and she's not going to be able to parade around in that metal bikini.

Can't or won't.

Well, I don't think it's, I don't think the people who are making the movie are going to go in that direction with a metal bikini.

Yeah.

I mean, it sounds like a wasted opportunity to me, but, you know, probably wouldn't work anyway in the real world.

Yeah, but I'm not going to the movies for the real world.

I mean, who wears a metal bikini like when you're in a sword fight?

You know, everybody.

Who the fuck has sword fights?

Well,

she's an Elizabeth in a barbaric age.

Yeah, but she was always conceived of.

So don't make a Red Sonia movie because that's what she is.

That's it.

Like, that's what she is.

Don't make a Red Sonia movie.

Make a female fucking Conan movie.

But some will say that's not like Red Sonia is not just a bikini.

It's like, you know, that she is just as good as any other sword fighter.

She was on par with Conan.

It sounds like.

And they did that in the 70s.

So that, to me, is legit.

Yeah.

You know, they made her that like that killer of a sword fighter.

Sure.

So she was on par with Conan right and

she only wore a little bit more than Conan did because Conan warned a loincloth she wore just a metallic bra right

and a little metallic great panties why do you think she was so popular

but I say though it probably wouldn't work because it wouldn't it like like constantly like cut you and

bunched up

pull out hair I would think too oh you know she's not shaven no no barbaric

the Hiberian age

And armpits.

She doesn't have hair.

They never drew her with hair.

Show me one fucking painting or panel of red Sonia with armpit hair and hairy legs.

She's red Sonia.

She's going to want everybody to know that the drapes match the fucking carpet.

Yeah, but she's got a landing strip, I think.

At the very least, right?

I don't know.

I think she gets rid of it all.

No way.

Come on, it's red Sonia.

It's streamlined, man.

For fights.

You're right, though.

If it is a metallic bikini and you don't want to get it pinched, it it would be better to shave so like you don't have the risk, you run the risk of getting pinched at all.

We all know that that shit came into vogue in the 2000s, not back in the fucking 40s.

You think people didn't shave before the year 2000?

Not girls.

But their legs and stuff, but I don't know if like.

What are you talking about?

I was a teenager in the 90s.

I guarantee you they were shaving.

Yeah, but you see that old stuff, that old 70s look?

Yeah.

Yeah.

Like, well, fucking

red Sonia was 70s, but fucking 1470s.

She doesn't have armpin hair and she doesn't have leg hair, which means she's tidying up.

Oh, yeah, you know what?

Yeah.

I didn't even think about that.

But, you know, it would be hard to see the red hair in the legs.

Distracts.

So you're saying it's there?

It's probably there.

Was part of her thing, like, she distracted by being so hot in a bikini that guys were, like, they didn't take her seriously.

And then she just.

Oh, probably, absolutely.

So it's a part of the character, man.

Yeah.

All I'm saying is, like, just why make a Red Sonia and then change one of the main things about the character?

Like, what's the the point of making that movie?

Because is the character popular enough that it's like, we got to do a Red Sonia movie?

Or it could just be something else.

A totally different character.

How about why is it a son of a name?

How much weight does it, the name carry Red Sonia?

I think it's one of the more popular sword and fantasy character names in existence today.

I think it's Conan.

Fuck, who's after Conan?

And it may be Red Sonia.

I think it is Red Sonia.

Or King Call, or, you know.

But my thing is, like, but then you don't want to make a Red Sony.

You can't be like, I mean, it's like, what's the point of being like, I want to make this into a movie, but I don't like one of the main things about it, so let me change it.

Well,

I think it's doable, though.

I do think that that's a small aspect of the character's persona.

Yeah, maybe you're right.

I do.

I think that I don't know if it'll be good.

I mean, they dated a Red Sonia movie already.

Yeah, but Bridget Nielsen, right?

Yeah.

Did she have the bikini?

No.

How'd that do?

Tell him, Steve Dave.

No, well, that would have been a genius ending.

Why we got one other end?

Yeah, we sure do.

Oh, okay.

Also, I want to talk to you guys about anuses real fast.

Okay.

I noticed that our office coach is looking good.

Yeah, he has.

He's looking spevelpo.

He's not limping around anymore.

He's been losing weight.

Yeah.

He's looking good.

He trimmed his beard a little bit.

He's a hunk.

It looks to me.

I don't think so.

Did you start falling out?

Like the fruit flies and starts nibbling at it.

Nesting in it.

It could be because part of his regimen is Care of.

Oh, yes.

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Let me just look up my anus stories.

There's two of them.

Do you have a file for that?

There's something called...

Do you ever have restless leg syndrome?

Do you ever?

No, but I know someone that does.

Do you?

I remember when I first got out of rehab, I had it for some reason.

Yeah, like I would lie there in bed and I could just feel like my legs shaking and there was nothing you could do about it.

Like are they working now?

I don't know if they were or not.

Like I couldn't like visually, I couldn't see if they were, you know?

But I don't know.

COVID-19's latest bizarre side effect, restless anal syndrome.

A new published medical report by doctors in Japan has revealed a mysterious condition associated with a disease called restless anal syndrome and is likened to the more commonly discussed restless leg.

And it describes exactly one 77-year-old patient's afflictions.

Just one.

Just one guy now.

Is he just saying this for attention?

What are the symptoms?

I guess your anus is vibrating.

It's just twitching anus?

Let's see.

He told physicians that he began suffering deep anal discomfort in the area between his anus and genitals,

prompting him to the

essential urge to move his bowels, which gave him no relief.

The patient observed that physical activity seemed to relieve his stressed anus while lying low only increased his discomfort.

And it also spiked in the evening hours.

A colonoscopy showed that the man had internal hemorrhoids, but that didn't explain the spasms.

His nervous system also seemed to be in working order.

I don't know.

I would just be like, yeah, that's why.

Yeah, it seems like it.

I'd call it a day if I was a doctor.

I'm like, yeah, yeah, no, that's the reason.

It's probably not.

Yeah, you're hemorrhaged, bro.

So he's a Japanese guy.

He was given a daily

regimen of the sedative clausep.

Yeah, clonazepam, clonopin, to help relax his anal muscles.

And he's continued to improve after 10 months of treatment.

He did have COVID, I guess, because that's how he got it.

I would think you would need more examples of this to call it a.

One guy seems like not enough guys, right?

That would seem a little jumping the gun and saying that

this is a thing that could happen from COVID.

Yeah, how did it even make it to news?

Exactly.

It's like a weird one.

This is even rarer.

A rare complication from a catheter may have made this man ejaculate through his anus for two years.

He spent two years.

Is that the first time in medical history that an anus has ejaculated?

I believe so.

I mean, at least.

Don't you ever just want to get off this planet?

At least your own ejaculation.

Oh,

I thought you were going to say the opposite.

Like, before you die, you want to make sure you're having an anus jacket.

I just want to stop hearing about shit like this.

I thought you want to experience everything.

No, no, no, not anymore.

Not anymore?

No.

It's over now.

I think that I don't really want to hear about the guy, like the one guy who's got a twitchy asshole and it's making news anymore.

I just feel like, is that what we're at?

I call me that for anus stories for you.

God damn society, but that's where we're at we're now printing news about fucking one guy's twitchy's ass hole that what i agree with you with but this thing though with now this is might be like the

like a mutant like if his he has

two body parts now that can ejaculate

it says a 33 year old man went in for a ct scan of his pelvis doctors saw that he had a rectal prostate fistula a rare condition where the body develops a hole that connects the rectum with the lower urinary tract and creates all kinds of problems like shitting your piss and all all kinds of problems.

One man's problems is another man's pleasures.

Really?

I mean, who are these people?

It's ejaculating.

That means you got like a leaky butt?

Only if you get it stimulated.

Yeah, if you're getting busy.

But who is it who's getting busy with

the shoot coming out of your ass?

That did that.

Do you got to put like a tampon on your ass?

I guess so.

That would be a rough one to go to the doctor and be like,

I got it somehow.

You fuckers got old on me, man.

When we started this podcast, you were talking about fucking water games.

You're talking about Brown Town.

You're talking about all this weird shit that you guys are like,

yeah, anything, anything goes.

Now there's possibilities that your buttholes can have ejaculations, and you're like, no, this is a turnoff.

I mean, it just sounds like you just come leaking out of your ass.

I don't know that that's like something I'd ever.

It could be an amazing,

think of the old face you'd have.

It could be 10 times the ejaculation you you have now.

It doesn't seem like that's what's going on.

It just seems like a pipe is misconnected to something out.

So, am I turning it into something it may not be?

It may not be as I don't want to ruin it for you.

Just seem really excited about it.

I mean, you know, if he wants to get down with the brown, go for it, I guess, you know.

I mean, you're talking about a guy who doesn't even want to look at girls at Halloween anymore.

So think back to the, you know, think back to the

excitement and awe and wonder to that first time BQ

had an omission.

You can never recapture that.

Or so you thought.

Yeah.

I thought I recaptured it every day almost.

No, but not that first time.

Nothing's like that first time.

You're like, oh my God.

It sounds so.

This works?

It doesn't sound good, man.

It sounds slimy and

just a mess, right?

Yeah, you got to clean up after yourself in a new way.

I don't know.

Wow.

BQ.

I'm worried about you.

What a prude.

I'm really worried about you.

You shouldn't be.

I mean, I don't think this is a sign of anything.

All right.

So

let's say you had to have

to pick one body part to have the ability to ejaculate from other than the regular one.

Oh, that's a good one.

So now you're going to get another body part that can ejaculate.

You wouldn't want it to be the

eyes.

Yeah.

I'm going to go with the crying cum.

Oh, I thought I wanted to, I was, I would have gone with the pointer finger on my left hand.

I think my left hand,

well, you know, this is my dominant hand.

If I'm writing, I don't want the ink to run and shit like that.

Well, you think if you're writing an erotic letter?

I don't want to take that off the table.

You're a two-sentence fucking shooter.

You know, I might be writing something nasty.

When's the last time you wrote?

You wrote out on paper something.

to your rock.

You'd be surprised.

Even if you're going to type it on your phone, like...

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

I think you use the non-dominant hand in your pretty.

Wow,

then you could do fun sex tricks.

Like

just when you're about to finish, like you point a gun at her face and be like, bang, bang, and then like it shoots out on her.

I don't know.

Superfacial.

But it's not a erogenous zone, though, your hand, is it?

Your finger?

Not yet.

I would have thought you would go with

like

more erogenous, because it's also,

you're not really thinking about society, though, because now that's a part of your body that anybody could see ejaculate, which is fucking gross.

Well, I don't know that I ever know.

If you're out in public and all of a sudden, your finger starts coming.

I didn't mean to give you the impression that I ever cared about society, so I'm sorry.

But the fact that you.

No, but what if I'm not going to be in a restaurant just coming?

That doesn't happen.

What if you shake hands with a sexy waitress?

What?

Or you shake hands with a sexy chick.

So it just starts like seeping out a little bit.

Then I just get a napkin.

Yeah, you start weeping.

Yeah.

If you pick your knee or something, at least, you know, you've got your pants to cover it or you're

putting a wet stain on it.

Or your toe then.

Yeah, that's not as much fun.

I don't know.

There's something to the pointed finger on the left hand.

I think it works.

Now, can you get people pregnant with it still?

Like, he's diddling a chick.

Oh, you better be careful.

He has to put a rubber over his finger.

No,

that's like, that doesn't go in there.

It goes in other places.

Okay.

Oh, okay.

Oh, yeah.

Say, well, you thought I lost it.

A girl's going to get it too, then.

Girls can.

If you're going to get your finger,

the females are going to want in on this action, too.

They want more erogenous, ejaculating body parts.

Where should they have it?

You don't want it on their finger.

Oh, I don't care.

Okay.

But if you had your choice, though.

For them?

Yeah.

I mean, I'd probably give the tits.

Instead of milk, they're going to give their tits.

Yeah.

I like it.

He's back.

He's back, baby.

One of boobies.

Look at the light in his eyes when he said that.

Ejaculated boobies.

I'd never considered this until now.

Tell him, Steve, Dave.