#492: Space Monkeys - Four's Company

Kellen Steve Dave sat recording in the comic store, but Brian Q felt that they needed more.

Film wanting women adventure and booze.

Bri just wanted to debate how potent publics and not have to lose.

So they traveled.

Q traveling hitting pavements.

Brie providing abundances of vague navigations.

But whether they win or lose, triumph or fail.

Listen to this podcast and they will regale you with their tales.

Space Monkeys.

Hello, everyone, and welcome to Space Monkeys.

Yo, hello.

Hello.

Hey, bud.

A little different than the regular Telm Steve Dave.

It's a Waltless episode.

Yeah, I know.

That's, you know,

Miss Walt.

He was very cryptic.

He said he's in Atlantic City, but he didn't say what he was doing.

He didn't say where he's going.

What could he be up to in Atlantic City?

That's what I was wondering.

It's like, if you're not into casinos or you're not into parading your girlfriend around or your lady around in see-through shirts,

I don't know what you're doing down there.

You think he's warm wifing?

Oh, he could be.

Yeah, like there's not a city less built for Walt Flanagan's attentions than Atlantic City, I would think.

Unless it's like they're using that as a base of operation.

It's probably something's near Atlantic City.

There's like a zoo or something like that.

Yeah, yeah.

I almost feel like we should call him and find out.

I mean, what?

Do we have the technology?

I think we do.

I think we might be able to do that.

Let's see.

Let's find out why.

Let's find out for Walt Flanagan.

Why?

Why, Walt?

What's in Atlantic City that's so great?

Yeah, that you would miss this.

EFG, where's Walt Flanagan?

There he is.

iPhone.

Okay.

Hello.

Hey, Walt Flanagan.

Yes.

You're on space, bud?

You're on Space Monkeys with Brian Johnson and Brian Quinn.

Oh, what's up?

Hey, hey, bud.

We just got to know what the fuck are you doing in Atlantic City?

We can't imagine why you'd be down there.

Oh, I went to see Alice Cooper.

Oh, fucking metal, bro.

Now that makes sense.

Yeah.

All right.

Now I understand everything.

Yeah, I went to see Alice Cooper, and then I went to somebody.

Wait, who'd you go with?

Frank

and my wife, and then his wife came too.

Oh, wow.

How cozy.

How cozy.

Wow.

Geez, I don't remember getting a call for this.

Do you, Brian?

I don't.

I don't.

In fact, hold on a second here.

Let's find out what Frank Five's up to.

Yeah.

What's this fucking guy doing?

Wow.

Yeah, I think he's dialing the other.

Yeah, so you, so it was

just, it was Alice.

It had to be a great show, right?

Like, it's Alice Cooper.

You're there, Frank Five.

Hey, what's going on?

You're on Space Monkeys with me, Q, and Walt's here.

And now you're here.

And special guest, Walt Flanagan.

Oh, well.

We're trying to get to the bottom of

this little trip that neither Q nor I received an invitation to.

In fact, it was very cryptic.

Walt, like, I'm in Atlantic City.

Leave me alone.

Oh, I never said that.

I never said leave me alone.

I'm not going to be able to record him in Atlantic City.

Actually, Brian, I saw something at a flea market that I knew you would love, and I picked it up for you.

So I'm going to bring it down next week.

Listen to what he's doing.

Don't fall for it, Brian.

You hear what he's doing?

Yeah.

No, it's true.

It's true.

It's true.

You got a gift coming.

You got a gift coming.

So, Brian's got a gift coming.

That's going to be awful nice for Brian Johnson.

That's cool.

That is some trip, man, to go to Atlantic City all the way down from

Buffalo or

wherever you're

Utica.

Yeah,

it was about

five and a a half hours, so not too big of a deal.

Oh, my God.

Yeah, I like to drive, and we're coming back down next weekend.

Oh, that's right.

Yeah, with the

bringing the DeLorean, and we're going to

do some stuff down there, so it'll be fun.

Wait, what's going on?

Next weekend, now you got him bringing a DeLorean down?

Yeah, we got some Patreon stuff going on.

Yeah.

I mean, if there's a DeLorean involved,

I may have to pop up.

I might have to be here, yeah.

Absolutely.

Yeah, it's got to be a good thing.

I'm sorry, go ahead.

We got the gambling bug, too, man.

We cleaned out AC.

Oh, yeah?

Yeah.

You know, those claw machines don't count as games, right?

I'll admit, I was a little bit concerned because Walt seemed to really enjoy the blackjack a lot more than I thought he was going to.

And

if you win as many as I, I mean, hands I won, it's hard not to walk away thinking that you're invincible.

Yeah,

I mean, it was funny because Debbie was standing behind you and she was like, All right, don't you think we should cash out right now?

And Walt was like, One more, one more, one more.

Wow.

Yeah, I was impressed, but he walked away a big winner.

He liked

college tuition.

I'm fucked.

I'm so fucked.

Oh, my God, Debbie, why don't you tell me to stop?

Oh, how much are you up, Walt?

I was up, I think,

$52, I think.

I walked away from there by the end of the week.

By the end of the weekend, yeah.

It's better than putting it in their pocket.

It actually got to the point where we were starting to go into casinos just to sign up for the players' club so he could get the free place just so that we can

just so that we can keep gambling.

You got to understand the concert's only 90 minutes.

They need time.

Like, what are they going to do the rest of the time?

Oh, man.

I mean, I could see why I didn't get the call.

You know, I'm not a noted Alice Cooper fan.

You know, you guys tend to.

But, Brian, how do you feel about this?

Like, Alice Cooper's in town and you don't even get a nod?

I think the only reason they wouldn't invite me is because I knew I was just at Megadeth and I probably had rocked out so much.

Oh, man.

And no Sunday, Jeff, either.

I guess this is payback for the Kiss concert.

Wait a minute.

Wait a minute.

Am I just some pawn in some weird thing that's going on with you guys?

Dude, that's all you've ever been on the podcast, buddy.

I don't know what you're talking about.

You're just figuring it out.

Oh, I wish we had a camera on his face as he figured it out.

Oh, shit.

That's all right, Frank Five.

I'm the same.

I'm just realizing it, too.

We're all pawns in Walt Flanagan's game.

Exactly.

So how was the show?

How was it?

It was good.

You know, he still does a lot of the same stuff, but with more,

but not as much props, I would have to say, though.

But when he does break out the props, they're still impressive.

You know, like he had like a seven-foot-tall demonic baby.

come out on stage like that was waddling around.

He still does the cut the head off, you know, but the guillotine, yep, but the guillotine doesn't look as good as it used to, like, it looked really fake this time, and

but his voice, you know, 73 years old, man, 73 years old, and we saw about a billion 73-year-olds out there, and you just look at the

other 999

million

zillion of them, they can't even move without like a without one of those rascals.

Yeah,

so

were you guys the youngsters?

Definitely.

Oh,

yes.

Oh, my God.

I turned to at one point.

I said, we're the youngest people here.

I mean, there was that one lady

with the hover round that was like in the front row.

Oh, my God.

Well, good for them, though.

Isn't that what you want?

Like, I don't, you know,

I'd love that they're there rocking in their 70s.

Isn't that great?

Yeah.

Oh, it was.

And you know what?

With this crowd, too, it was

nobody stood up

because they couldn't.

Yeah.

We want to.

At one point during the concert, everybody was like putting their arms up and they were like, you know, cheering and stuff and they were holding up canes.

And it wasn't like

the canes that like Alice Cooper would have, you know, it was like the actual like walking canes

with like the with like the four rubber feet on it

oh man

that's coming for all of us right it is you know what i was gonna say uh you know later on when we talked about megadeth i was gonna say i mean it doesn't sound anything close to what you guys experienced but i was surprised at the number of elderly and infirmed that were at this concert you know like because most people were about my age i would say my age a little bit younger a little bit older but then there was this subset of people that were like easily in their 70s and i'm like when the fuck did they get into to to megadeth

or any of these other bands hate breed lamb of god

didn't mustain didn't mustain be cancer i believe so and mustain has to be like 60 now oh yeah he was he was the oldest of all about the metallic guys great guy kicked out i thought

let me see here

how's big monkeys going i mean we just started like we're five we're 10 minutes in now like we started the show being like wait what's walt doing in Atlantic?

Like we mentioned that you weren't on.

We were like, yeah, Walt's down Atlantic City.

And then we were like, wait, what the fuck's Walt doing in Atlantic City?

So within two minutes, yeah, we called.

I'm not an Atlantic City guy.

There would be nothing that could really get me down there.

I'm not a gambler.

The food's not that great either.

And it smells like smoke, even though you're not allowed to smoke in here, I don't think.

Yeah.

But yeah, so, I mean, it was really just for the concert.

And, you know,

it was a good time, though.

Yeah.

Wow.

First, it was Hate Breed, then a band called Trivium, and then another band, Lamb of God, and then Megadeth.

Holy shit.

So you were there for

I was not there for all of it.

I missed Hate Breed and got there about halfway through Trivium set.

How's his voice, Miss Dane?

It sounds pretty good.

I mean, it's always been that gravelly sort of like, yeah,

like kind of thing.

So he's he's still able to do it.

And I'm looking here.

Yeah, he's 60 years old.

So Alice is 13 years older than him.

Jesus, man.

These guys, they just keep going.

No, it's not.

Really?

Like, only 20 years older than us.

Well, at one point, we didn't even know if we would make it.

I mean, Alice Cooper is 73 years old, but he started a concert at like 9 o'clock at night.

And we're like, I don't know if we're going to make it.

It's late.

That's funny that thought of alice cooper starting to do like afternoon shows to accommodate his audience and stuff like that

we're sitting there and walt was like looking at the clock and he's like all right he's late it's 901 it's 902 he's late what's going on what's going on

because at this point it's like you know if you if you heard like alice will not be able to go on tonight you wouldn't be surprised would you a 73 year old man can't can't pull it off maybe one night or or multiple nights in a row

it wouldn't be shocking at all yeah how many nights how many nights was he there?

Just the one.

You know, it's tough, though, too, is that he picks up like on the next leg of the tour, like the next date, Ace Fairley opens up for him.

Oh, no, really?

Who opened up for him this time?

Nobody.

No one.

Nobody.

Wow.

But so, Frank 5, just a question for you.

Has the thought, I mean this seriously, has the thought crossed your mind to just get an apartment somewhere down here?

Mary has suggested that numerous times.

Because at this point, you hear so much, like it almost makes sense.

Yeah, you know what?

The drive, it's so second nature now to me, like it just doesn't even matter.

It doesn't bother me at all.

And it's a lot of fun.

So

I'll keep my eyes open if I find maybe, maybe Giddam and I can get an apartment together.

Oh, man, we could rig that up with cameras and

have a nice Patreon.

The real, real world.

Yeah.

Well, all right, boys, we just wanted to say, hey, we'll see what you're doing.

What do you got planned for the rest of the day?

Not much at home.

Driving home.

Yeah.

After a night of hard rocking and gambling.

Yeah,

we're going to the nursery.

I got to look for flowers with Mary now.

That's my excitement for the weekend.

She's picking out mums.

It's probably going to be

the patronage is probably going to be the same people you saw last night.

Well, no, they're all going to a nursery home, Brian.

That's different than

a nursery.

All right, fellas.

Well, have a safe drive back.

Thanks.

Okay.

Hey, hey, Brian, I'll talk to you tomorrow, right?

Yes.

Yes.

Okay.

All right.

Okay.

All right, guys.

all right thank you bye bye boys

oh that was nice man yeah walt and frank rocking out together yeah frank that was like legitimate friends i mean you know it would have been nice to get the call i'm not gonna lie but like even if i couldn't have gone it's nice to get the invite you know what i mean like we're doing this and but that being said it's nice that walt uh you know is is out there doing it you know i love it yeah you wouldn't expect it of him no I guess I should, though.

And he just saw, who did he see just recently?

Oh, cheap trick he went to last week.

That's right.

God damn, man.

Look at this.

He's fucking working hard.

I'm sitting around, dude.

I've been like,

I don't know what's happened, but I got like hit with you.

Remember, like the old school dark depressions where you're just like

you're just like trapped in your own body type thing?

Oh, yeah.

Yeah, that came like, I got hit by that this fucking week, man.

And I'm having a hard time.

I mean, I'm, I feel like maybe I'm starting to come out of it, but oof, what a, what a fucking.

I feel like I'm trapped in, like, I haven't had this feeling in years,

years of

feeling this dark, man.

It's been pretty crazy.

Any ideas as to what brought it on?

Or just one of those things?

I just think it's one of those things where it's just like the inside feeling is there, and then the outside events are justifying it.

You know what I mean?

Like, it's just sort of thing.

So, I don't know.

Yeah, I don't know what's going on, but it's been a real, it's been a a real struggle for old BQ this past week.

You should have given me a call, man.

Yeah, yeah, I was looking forward to this.

Who's better at bringing people up than me?

You know, I was just hoping like it was just gonna pass, you know what I mean?

Like, I kind of hoped it was just gonna like move on at one point, but it seems to be.

And yeah, I don't know.

So, uh, it's uh, it's, it's, I feel, already feel better just being on here and talking and stuff like that.

So, that's cool.

That's good.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Well, sometimes it's like you, uh, like you work a lot so everything is work focused yeah right so like anything outside of it it's almost like well now I don't know how to spend my time

well I mean look it's been a long right it's been a long year and a half I haven't really worked that much I kind of got used to not working maybe it's the fact that maybe that's it maybe we're going back to work soon so you know what I mean I don't know but but uh but

you know it's a b I

I don't know.

We're heading into fall.

It's my favorite season.

Halloween's coming up.

I'm sure it'll be another ripped off Halloween this year.

You know, where we don't really get to do anything because of COVID again.

But

no Halloween sluts.

Yeah, you know, like the costumes and stuff like that.

I don't know, but it's been years since that's really been like the highlight anyway, because I don't really go out anymore.

You know what I mean?

Yeah.

I was.

I was supposed to go to that rock show last night.

I was telling you this band Rainwolf.

Brian Nichelle, who's on Patreon's Tales Behind the Fake Counter.

Tales from Behind the Fake Counter.

He texted me about three weeks ago, and he's like, hey, I love this band, Rainwolf.

Come on, man.

You got to come see it with me.

So I was like, all right.

So we were doing a Walton, Debbie, Frank, and Mary kind of thing.

We were like, all right, you know, it's down in I think in Asbury or something.

And then when I went to look, first of all, Nichelle's like, the day that the concert is, is the day before I'm leaving to go do some show about the micro, remember the Micro Midget League?

Yeah.

He's like, I got to go do something on that.

So I'm not going to be able to go.

Do you know anybody who wants these tickets?

Which I did not because it's like a band nobody's ever heard of.

And then I look at the tickets yesterday and I'm like, well, I bought them, so maybe we'll just go.

The show didn't start until 10.30 at night.

Oh my God.

And I'm not even sure that's them going on.

That might be like, they might have an opener or something.

Yeah, yeah.

They're not getting on until midnight.

That is not for me.

Yeah.

That's where I got to draw the line, where I'm like, okay, too old.

Like when we were at uh Megadeth, I was sitting there thinking, like, there are some people that will wait around, like, you know, like Axel Rose back in the day, he'd be like three hours late,

supposed to go in at night.

No fucking way, man.

No way.

I mean, look, if during Guns N' Roses, I never saw Guns N' Roses live until they reformed a few years back, but I never really saw them live for whatever reason.

I guess I just thought they'd be around forever.

I didn't think they'd implode like they did, you know?

But

if I was younger, like if it was the 90s and I was in my, you know,

you know, late teens or early 20s, I, you know, I might have stuck around for the three hours, like just keep drinking beers with my friends and shit like that and like making a party of it.

But

now, no, no fucking way.

No way.

Yeah, the venue would have to be really because when we saw Guns N' Roses, it was down in Philly.

Right?

Wasn't it?

It's Philly, yeah, yeah.

It was down in Philly.

So you still have that whole ride back afterwards.

But

we did have like a box, so it was fun.

You know, you did get food and you drink.

And so it doesn't really, it doesn't really feel like, you almost feel like you're home, you know, like and your friends are over.

Yeah.

But then when that ends, you're like, oh, fuck, now I got to go through all these people.

Got to get back to the bus.

An hour and a half.

Yeah, just, I don't know.

I hate that things don't seem worth the doing anymore.

Well, I wonder why that is.

Like, let's talk about that for a second.

It can't just be,

it can't just be age and energy.

There's a psychological component to it where you're like,

why is it not worth it to go to a concert that late anymore?

There's one time I would have been like, no problem, I'll be there.

Who cares?

I think it just comes down to, like, you know, like when you're younger and like you're either living with your parents, your family, and that can be a bummer at times, or, you know, or you're living with your friends.

Like, I never really lived alone until the fire department, until my 30s you're living with your friends and then you're

i don't know then the party almost seems like it never ends you know you know what i'm saying so it's like there's no like well of course you would go look if you didn't go to the concert 11 o'clock night you'd be home drinking with your butt with you with your boys right so it's like maybe now that like you know we have homes you married you know what i mean like like you you you we we we have castles that we that we built that we want to spend our time in that like the draw to get me out of the the the nest that i've built for myself that's 100 catered to me and what i like like what the fuck man like why what's out there that you can't have in here what's out there and it's like how many concerts not not that i don't i love going to concerts and i you know i i i'm never gonna stop going but it's just like but i could also just kind of you know stay home and play video games and put alice cooper on the on the fucking on the radio and like you know what i mean and like i don't have to leave where you know i don't know i I get it.

It's, it's, it's an older mentality, which is not something I mind.

Like, I kind of, I'm like, yeah, I'm kind of cool with it.

But then, like, like Walton Frank say, there, there are, there is that contingent of people who are like old and are like, I'm still going to go do it.

There's some, you know, people in their 70s being like, Ellis Cooper, definitely.

Because at this point, it's like, I don't know if Ellis Cooper might die or I might die.

You know?

Yeah, you're right.

I'm sure that plays into it where you're like, holy fuck.

Like, I'm sure there's going to be a point where I'm, there's no, no, I wish it was Tom Petty.

Unfortunately, it never will be, but like, there'll be an artist that I love who is, I'm an old fart, he's an old fart, or she's an old fart, and I'm just like, man, I can't believe that they're still doing it at our age.

I got to go see this.

You know what I mean?

I get it.

I get it.

I totally get it.

It is shocking, like, um, to watch those guys on stage.

Like, Dave Hustain doesn't really move around that much, but they're, they're, like, his other guitarist is not like a spring chicken, and he's, like, all over the place.

The guy in hate breed must lose 20 pounds.

I mean, not hate breed, Lamb of God.

The singer must lose 20 pounds per shot.

I've never seen anyone run around like that.

Yeah, Lamb of God's awesome, too, man.

They put on a pretty good show.

It was really good, yeah.

Yeah.

But, but, you know, but remember, we went to go see Iron Maiden.

We were saying the same thing.

Like, look at,

look at them.

But, but 60's not that old.

Mustain's 60, you said?

Yeah.

I mean, I hope to still be like able to turn it on without making it look hard for brief spurts at least.

60 is not that old.

You know what I mean?

Yeah, for me, it's only seven years away.

So in seven years, I'm like, that's it.

Get me the rascal.

Get me my cane.

I hope not.

I almost needed a rascal at Megadeth.

I almost fell.

Oh, God, tell me.

It was terrible.

It was like a break between bands.

And I was like, all right, let's go back to the seats.

You know, after we got a drink, we're like, we're going back to the seats.

seats.

And first off, I'm leading the way and I'm going the totally wrong way towards the wrong seats, but Mary Beth is like a little bit too far behind me that she can't be like, asshole, you're going the wrong way.

So as I'm leading, I go to step up, it's like two steps and I go to step on the first step, but I miss it and go like onto like, it's like, so I'm taking two steps at once.

And you know how like your leg like locks up and jams like when you do something like that?

That's exactly what happened to me.

And like, I like went forward a little bit.

And like one of the, he was a young guy too unfortunately he was young he was like probably in his early 20s the uh security guy or whatever he like went to like catch me and i was like oh my god

catches you hands you to his wife to your wife is like here you go man

oh oh it was bad because then i was like you know of course i can't do that and not think about any number of times you and i have discussed me like falling in public and everyone being like ah

what an asshole look at that prick because i'm like like the difference between that guy, the embarrassment of that guy almost catching me, but you know, I'm okay, and fracturing my ankle in three places and having to leave the concert, like, it's not that far apart, you know?

No, it's not.

Well, it is a little far apart in the aftermath because, like, in one, like, you're just carted off to the hospital, which almost seems like the better option than having to continue to walk up the stairs.

not not hoping that you don't have to address what happened.

Like, was it on your mind the entire concert?

Like, that guy caught me for the rest of the show no it was more what was on my mind was like

i was like i'm thinking of mary beth and i'm like she saw me like almost fall right i was like is she like man this motherfucker stock is dipping every day man his coinage is lessening by the moment like he's like a used car like every time you turn around there's something else wrong and eventually you're gonna be like fuck this shit you know oh man that's horrible so what do you do like what do you like just the idea of like mega depth rocking and then you just stand in there trying to stand up straight and just your eyes going to the right to see if she's looking at you with disapproval.

And then I see she's looking towards somebody else, a much younger version of me.

Oh, God, she's looking at that security guy who caught you.

Yeah, she's like,

look at the arms on that guy.

Man, do they all wear such tight, beautiful shirts here when they're in their security garden?

Yeah, like she buys me a security guard shirt to wear when we're having sex and shit.

You're like, I'll put it on.

She's like, oh, take it off.

No, gross.

It's too tight on you.

Like, you want to go see any more concerts, honey?

Yeah,

it was thinking about that.

It was thinking about like, oh my God, man, like, I'm fucking falling apart.

Like, and it was just a misstep.

It could have happened to anybody.

It could happen to somebody who's 20.

It could happen to somebody who's 80.

It was just a misstep, but I felt like such an asshole.

And nobody's looking at me.

There's fucking 10,000 people in there.

Nobody's looking at me, but I'm still like, oh, you stupid motherfucker.

You fucking suck.

You fucking suck.

She's like, Mary Beth's like, what are you saying?

I'm like, nothing, nothing.

I said,

wow.

I don't know, man.

Yeah.

Dude, this is like, I'm already feeling better.

This is cool.

Did you ever, did you ever hear of the show Letter Kenny?

Have you heard of the show?

No.

Okay.

I want you to, much like Daisy of Love,

I would like you to watch, don't look up anything about it.

Just go to Hulu, watch the pilot episode of Letter Kenny.

And if it hooked you, which it will, get to the third episode of Letter Kenny, and then just, you might as well just join the club for life at that point because the third episode is the most fucking batch.

So, um,

I sent it to Troy.

I guess it wasn't on, uh, I guess I didn't send it to you, but I sent it to Troy.

I was like, hey, buddy, just watch Letter Kenny.

Let me know what you think.

Let me read you Troy's response,

Which is typical of the response that I get, by the way, from because

I was cruising around Hulu the other day and I was just found it and I had heard about it before.

So I was like, let me just take a look at this.

Okay, so

this is the.

He goes, Letter Kenny is great, unlike anything I've ever seen, which is the number one response I'm getting to people who I'd say to watch Letter Kenny.

Really?

Yeah.

Is it reality or is it just a regular show?

No,

it's a Canadian show.

It's scripted.

It's almost kind of like

how, you know, Trailer Park Boys.

Yeah.

Obviously, we love, you know, we love those guys and whatnot, but it's like kind of like

it's in the same vein.

Not exactly, though.

It's not in the same vein, but it's the closest thing to explain to you what Leonard Kenny is.

But holy shit, dude.

Like, I just hit play on it, not knowing what's going to happen.

And the first 10 seconds, I was already laughing and being like, what the fuck am I watching?

It's really fucking great, man.

I I can't recommend it enough.

No, we're looking for something new.

Oh, yeah.

And

there's nine seasons,

but there are only six episode seasons.

Okay.

So it's like, it's just a breeze to watch.

And

they're shooting seasons 10 and 11 now.

Yeah.

So I think you'll like it.

I wanted to recommend it to the audience because I was like, I know everybody at home, you know,

there was a sharp divide on Daisy of Love.

I saw that, yeah.

Yeah, which I get.

Look, you know, I completely, it's not like I don't understand the people who are like, this isn't for me.

But,

but, uh, even the trailer for

Last Man Down,

I went, I, I, I swung into Reddit again to see what people thought about it.

You know what I mean?

I'll probably do it, do it again with this.

And, uh, you know, some people are like, where the fuck, how has Quinn not seen

like John Wick and all those movies?

But I don't think they're the same.

Like, I don't think they're the same as, like, the commandos and the, like, the, I guess what I was really referring to with that last man down thing was just the tone of the movie, not the,

you know, not, not the fact that there's men on a mission and shit like that.

But, but whatever.

You know,

I'm kind of down on myself this week, so it's hard for me to really fucking mount a defense to it, I guess.

But, uh, but I, but I still feel confident enough in Letter Kenny that people are going to love it.

All right.

I'm going to go for it.

Yeah.

Discuss next episode.

Uh, I would recommend something I watched yesterday.

I watched the whole thing is called uh,

Lula Rich on Amazon Prime.

How do you spell it?

Lula Rich.

L-U-L-A-R-I-C-H.

Okay.

And it's based on this company called Lula Row, which was, I guess they made a lot of

stretchy pants.

Like, what do they call them?

Yoga pants.

Yoga pants?

Yeah, it's this company who like,

essentially, it's Amway,

where they have to, like, buy a stock and then sell the stock.

And then you have people under you, and and then you have your up lines and your down lines and all that other shit.

And they're like, it's not a pyramid scheme.

And you're looking at it and you're like, it's a pyramid scheme, man.

If you have to explain that it's not a pyramid scheme, that means people are looking at it going, that's a pyramid scheme.

Yeah, that's definitely a pyramid scheme.

It was interesting, though, man, like watching these people.

So, I mean, it's no, remember, like, we're going diamond when Darren, my brother Darren, was into Quickstar, which was Amway on the internet, essentially.

And

he would go to these

conventions and like the whole, I mean, these are big arenas that everyone's like trying to do the same thing.

They're all trying to sell pants to each other.

And,

you know, and with Darren, it's just like he said they're like stomping, going nuts.

Like, we're going diamond because I guess that's the highest level.

And then

hardly anyone goes diamond.

And like, it's like a good stock.

Like, if you're not in on the ground floor, you're, you're kind of fucked.

You're not going to really make money.

Yeah.

Yeah.

All right, so it's worth checking out, but what makes it like you all right?

So you watched it and what made that story different from

Like what were the twists and turns that made cuz by now we've all heard of these stories a hundred times right like what makes this one stand out to you like what why you

it's just I think it's the continued amazement that people can psychologically get themselves to a point where they're like they don't see anything else they have this tunnel vision where they're like I'm gonna do it they told me I can do it I'm gonna do it because like i've never had that that mentality you know

that i can do it yeah no i've never had a can-do attitude i'm like i i probably should have tried because i'm not gonna be able to do it uh and so it's it's really it's not that different i guess from from all these other stories but uh

I did, I still found it interesting.

It was like the, it was three hours long, like there's four episodes, 45 minutes each.

Yeah, so I sat through them all.

And it was just, it's interesting.

I guess what's interesting is watching the disintegration of the dream, dream.

You know, like because you have everybody in the beginning, they're all excited.

They got their pants.

They're selling them to people.

They're making money and blah, blah, blah.

And then you start to see the cracks in the facade and you start to see the leadership like changing things.

You know, like, oh, we're going to, we're going to give you refunds on all these clothes that we sent to you that are like fucking moldy and stinky and wet.

And then they're like, then they suddenly change the policy.

We're like, we're not going to do that anymore.

And attorneys are like, you can't do that.

Like, you can't do that shit.

Wow.

Like, they just like, they're really awful, awful people, it appears.

The people who run this.

And do you have a, do you get them on camera?

Like, they show up?

Oh, yeah.

Oh, yeah.

They're the main interview.

Oh, really?

Yeah.

Oh, they're trying to defend themselves, or are they like, now we fucked this all up?

No, they're defending themselves, but like, not even mounting a huge defense.

They're like, basically, I don't know what they're talking about, man.

Oh, the vaunted, I don't know, defense.

Yeah.

And tied into that, I think it's Showtime.

If you have Showtime, check out a show called On Becoming a God in Central Florida.

And it's all about...

Oh, Kirsten Dunst, right?

Yeah, it's all about that kind of stuff, that multi-level marketing stuff.

Yeah.

Very.

How's she in show?

She's awesome.

I always liked Kirsten Dunce, man.

Even back in the Spider-Man movies and shit, where people, I don't know, I remember there being some weird backlash to her being Mary Jane.

And I remember being like, I don't know, Kirsten Dunce, you know what it was that was Bring It On?

Do you remember watch Bring It On that first one?

What a fucking well-done movie, Bring It On.

I mean, I haven't seen it in 15 years or so, but like, I remember being like, how the fuck is this movie this good?

She was if I'm

no, go ahead.

No, if I'm remembering it right, and I think so.

So, like, I've always just liked her.

I've always kind of liked Doug Kirsten Dunn.

So, yeah, I'll check it out.

Yeah, it's definitely what there's another movie that she was in.

God, I can't remember the name of it.

I'll look it up while we're talking.

Actually, maybe we should talk a little bit about

one of our favorite sponsors, Blue Chew.

Let's talk about boners, everybody.

Yeah, boner time.

This episode is sponsored by Blue Chew, and it's time to snap out of that whole pandemic thing.

Right?

We're back.

We're back.

Are we?

The fall is here.

It's time to get sprung with Blue Chew.

Blue Chew is a unique online service.

It delivers the same active ingredients as Viagra and Sales, but in chewable form and a fraction of the cost.

Blue Chew's tablets help men achieve harder, stronger erections to form combat all forms of erectile dysfunction.

Blue Chew is an online prescription service, so no visits to the doctor's office, no awkward conversations, and no waiting in line at the pharmacy.

And it ships right to your door in a discrete package.

And the process is so very simple.

You sign up at Blue Chew.com, consult with one of their licensed medical providers, none of this fucking out-of-country shit.

And once you're approved, you'll receive your prescription within days.

And the best part, it's all done online.

Blue Chew's licensed medical providers work with you to find the right ingredient and strength for your prescription.

And if you don't like swallowing pills, guess what?

There's no problem here.

There's saladenophil and tadilophil.

Tadalophil.

Tablets are chewable.

They're also made in the USA as they prepare and ship direct, so it's cheaper than a pharmacy.

One thing about Blue Chew that I'm wondering is like they don't have a slogan like everybody else does.

Oh, yeah.

You know, they don't have like that,

like that manscape.

They don't have like

be kind to your balls or whatever it was

that so irritated Walt.

Yeah, that he didn't like.

Yeah.

I wonder if we could come up with one and like they might buy it.

Oh, shit.

Like,

like, I mean, let's just spitball some like Blue Chew.

It's the champagne of boners.

Like, it'll get you popping.

Oh, yeah.

That's a good one.

That was just off the top of my head, bro.

What about, like, to put you in charge, man?

It'd be like, Blue Chew, own your boner.

Yeah,

yeah.

Now it's, like, rugged.

Yeah, now you're like manly.

You're like, all right, I'm not not so manly I can get an erection without this.

However, once I do take it,

I mean, how if we came up with this gold in about 10 seconds flat,

how is Blue Chew not on this train, man?

It's very surprising because they're on top with everything else, but this stuff, I don't know.

If you could benefit from extra confidence when it's time to perform, visit bluechew.com for more details and important safety information.

And here's the special deal.

Everybody loves a special deal.

Try Blue Chew free when you use our promo code TESD at checkout.

Just pay $5 shipping.

That's BlueChew.com, promo code T-E-S D to receive your first month free.

And we thank Blue Chew for sponsoring this podcast.

All right.

Sure do.

Thank you, Blue Chew.

Yeah, we need sponsors.

Had a spot of good news this week.

Yeah.

I don't know if

anybody's going to see it the same way I do, but I had a spot of.

So

have I talked about this?

I know I've talked to you about it.

I don't know if I've talked on on the air about my my squirrels the squirrels that i feed oh yeah okay you have oh i talked about stumpy so i'll all right so so here's what happened i'll just recap the stumpy thing there was a squirrel about uh maybe a year and a half ago that that appeared in my yard who's and she he's named stumpy because um

his tail i mean i guess he got into a fight or something like that like uh or and like her stump i mean i'm not that original so it's like his tail got cut off so he's got a little stumpy square squirrel tail, right?

And look, look, when you have all these fucking squirrels running around your yard, it's very hard to identify one of them.

You know what I'm saying?

They all look the same.

Who's a little redder?

Who's a little browner?

It is what it is.

They're just squirrels.

But Stumpy stood out.

You know what I mean?

And once you meet Stumpy and start assigning human characteristics like we do to Aria, you know, then Stumpy becomes my friend.

So now suddenly, even though...

You know my opinion on peanuts, I'm ordering raw peanuts by the fucking pound.

All right.

Because like every day I'll go out and I have a little feeder next to my window and I'll put them in there.

Squirrels will come and eat them and run off.

Chief among them for me was Stumpy.

Okay.

So now

I'm in the pool one day.

And stop me if this is boring.

Okay.

I haven't showered yet.

I'm still wearing a robe.

Like, all right.

But

so.

So I'm in the pool one.

Anyway, so Stumpy for about a year.

There's Stumpy.

They're Stumpy, right?

I love Stumpy.

Let me try and feed Stumpy.

Let's feed Stumpy.

I love Stumpy.

I'm in the pool recently, and I'm looking up in the tree that goes above my pool, and Stumpy's up there, right?

And he's waving his little fucking tail around.

Doing that squirrel thing.

So I'm looking up and I'm like, oh, Stumpy.

I hope I put peanuts out for Stumpy.

I did.

All right.

Then another squirrel comes up to Stumpy, and I'm like, they're going to fight because they're getting really close, right?

And then the other squirrel mounts and begins to hump.

Stumpy.

And I'm like, Stumpy's a girl, man.

I didn't fucking realize that.

I was like, it just blew my mind.

It was such like a little thing.

And I understand it means nothing to no one.

But after spending a year of forming a bond with Stumpy the squirrel, suddenly I had to rewrite everything that I knew about Stumpy.

Stumpy's a girl.

Yeah, you're right.

You assigned all sorts of characteristics that would go with a male squirrel, I suppose.

I came up with all sorts of stories about Stumpy in my head, and Stumpy was my boy.

It was like, you know, I'm trapped in this house, man.

Like, I love Stumpy.

But now, all right, great.

Stumpy's a girl.

It doesn't really change how I feel about Stumpy.

I was just surprised.

Then I noticed that Stumpy's pregnant, very fat, like getting that fat look to her.

And then Stumpy disappears.

I haven't seen Stumpy in at least three months.

Gone.

And I'm like, oh, man, like, I guess maybe one of the neighborhood cats got Stumpy.

But there are a bunch of young squirrels now around my property.

So I know I sound like I'm insane, but you people just fucking deal with me, okay?

I'm having a really rough week.

I'm trying to tell you about my bright spot, okay?

So fucking, all right, so Stumpy, so I'm noticing all these young squirrels, but but Stumpy's gone, and I'm like, oh man, I guess Stumpy died, but at the same time, I guess these are the children of Stumpy.

Like, they're probably not, but I'm just trying to hold on to anything I can at this point.

And I'm like, oh man, so now I have all these super young squirrels, and they're all cool, and I can't name any of them because I don't know any of them, but I'm like, Stumpy, dude.

Uh, on Wednesday, I look out my window, and who is at my squirrel feeder but Stumpy?

No way, Stumpy was back, dude.

And I, I, I'm, I'm I'm not ashamed to say it.

I mean, I'm sure it says something about my fucking current state of mind, but like, I was so overwhelmed with joy.

Like, I was so happy that Stumpy was alive, man.

And I was so happy that she was okay.

And, and, like, and I, like, I'm not going to say I started crying, but I really got, like, emotional

that Stumpy was back.

And then instantly, I was like, oh, man, I guess Stumpy was just raising her kids for a few months and stuff like that.

Like, I was just like creating this new, this new tale of Stumpy.

Yeah, and she's back, and her kids are running around in the yard, and I'm back to feeding Stumpy again.

And, like,

I've only seen her one more time since Wednesday, but

man, it did my heart good to see Stumpy, dude.

That's good to hear.

Yeah.

That's good.

I find myself resentful of squirrels.

Go ahead.

Here we go.

Because Mary Beth is also into squirrels.

She has Prince.

She has Red.

She has Jiffy Pop Jiff Johnson Jr.

She has Skippy.

She has like all these squirrels.

And she buys.

She knows them all apart.

She knows them all.

Yeah, she can tell them apart.

It's nuts.

It's like, see that little red in his tail?

And then when she points it out, I'm like, oh, yeah, you're right.

Right, right.

But she does, she buys these huge bags of peanuts, which are not cheap.

No.

And then I watch her out on the porch throwing handfuls.

Not like a couple at a time, handfuls of fucking peanuts into the yard.

I'm like, and all I'm seeing is dollar, by the dollar bills falling down onto the fucking lawn.

I'm like, why the fuck are you feeding these stupid squirrels all our money?

All our money.

It's so fun.

Well, let me answer something.

Does the story I just told you about the joy

that Stumpy brought into my life, does that change how you feel about it?

It does warm my heart a little bit to know that you, my best friend,

felt better for a squirrel showing up.

Yeah.

Yeah.

So, so do you feel better?

Like, what, what is Marybeth getting out of it?

And, like, do you, do you feel better that, that, do you not feel it's a waste of money now for her to feed those squirrels?

Are you still, have I changed your heart?

I'm not against her feeding them.

I'm against her feeding them so much.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Like, if she wasn't just fucking throwing out fistfuls of peanuts to, like, three squirrels, I'd be like, all right, that's okay.

That's cute.

It does get crazy because like they'll, they'll eat as much as you put out because they'll bury it.

Oh, it appears that way, yeah.

There's never any peanuts left.

And I have growing all over my property now in my yard peanut plants.

Isn't that crazy?

Because they'll bury it in the yard.

And because I use the raw peanuts, they'll start.

Because I was looking at my yard and I was like, what the fuck are all these weird, they look like deformed shamrocks.

I was like, what are these things?

And so I went to pull it out and it was growing out of one of the peanuts that the squirrels had buried in the ground.

And so now I'm noticing there's like 10 of them around the yard that are just peanut plants.

See, now, there you go.

There's an idea.

This way, if we just start growing some peanut plants, we can harvest these peanuts and we don't have to pay for them.

Then I won't resent the squirrels at all.

Yeah, but now you're a peanut farmer.

I mean, do you want to do that?

I don't know, man.

I don't have, you know, I have a slight peanut allergy.

So, like, I mean, I have a slight cat allergy, allergy, so I'm surrounded by fucking cats all day.

I have like a slight peanut thing.

It gives me such a headache when I smell peanuts that, like, now it's just like I'm just endangering myself to feed these creatures.

There might be something wrong with me, dude.

I don't know.

There may be.

Yeah, you're sacrificing your health for these squirrels, trying to get them to come back, trying to get them to love you.

Yeah, I'm like, just love me, Stumpy.

Yeah, come back, Stumpy.

Why did you leave me, Stumpy?

And Stumpy's like, I have kids, Brian.

I can't just frolic like we used to back in the day.

Like, I have responsibilities.

I'm a parent now.

Don't you have responsibilities, Brian?

I do.

I do.

You were my responsibility.

You, you were, Stumpy.

I fucking love you, Stumpy.

Take Stumpy's life.

Oh, God.

Like, like a practical joker, Brian Quentin found dead of suicide with a dead squirrel next to him.

Like, I murder suicide with Stumpy.

Stumpy.

Now you can never leave me.

Like, there was a, like, he wrote in his own blood on the wall

together forever, but there were no other victims.

There were no other victims,

you know, present.

And we don't think he was talking about the dead squirrel.

Meanwhile, they're like, no, we heard that podcast.

He, he fucking murdered suicide with a squirrel.

He 100% was talking about the squirrel.

Oh, man.

I don't want to see, I don't want to ever see you go, but god damn, if you went and you're like, this is how I'm like, like you had some disease where you're like i'm gonna take myself out man i'm not gonna let it get me and then you're fucking i'm like i wonder why he killed the squirrel

yeah that's the thing though i couldn't hurt i couldn't hurt the squirrel man you just find some roadkill and then set it up just to like freak people out make them think like what the

yeah like holy this guy lost it man i mean i know he said he was feeling down but we didn't think it was this fucking bad not like dead squirrel down yeah man yeah that's it i'm not dead squirrel down i'm definitely not dead squirrel down uh which is good yeah that other movie i was talking about with kirsten dunce is called drop dead gorgeous it's a 99

movie from 1999 about uh

basically those um

what are they called those pageants like those beauty pageants and shit uh britney murphy's in it she's really good oh yeah

where the fuck has britney murphy been she's dead she died a long time ago Britney Murphy died?

Yeah, she died of what they think was, it was very like weird circumstances.

I think she was like in her mid-30s, and like they, they thought maybe it was drugs, they thought maybe her boyfriend had something to do with it.

I don't know what the

final verdict was on that, but oh man, I mean, I got to imagine that I heard about it when she died, but I must have, yeah, yeah, but I completely forgot about it.

I, I, I, I, uh,

wow, what a bummer, man.

Oh, man.

Eliza Dushku's in it.

Okay.

I like, you know, I liked her in things I've seen her in.

Yeah.

So, wait, it's not about like children's pageants, is it?

It's no, it's not kids' pageants.

It's like teenage pageants.

Oh, all right.

It's like a dark comedy.

It's pretty good.

All right.

I'll check that out, too.

Man, Kirsten Dunce.

I wonder if the, yeah.

All right.

Nice.

I'm into it.

You won't be sorry.

I won't be sorry, man.

I'm going to fucking show my support for Kirsten Dunce.

Not that she needs it, I guess.

Especially if Toby Maguire is going to show up in the new Spider-Man movie.

Because that definitely means that the sales and residuals for her Spider-Man movies go up, right?

Because people start renting it.

People start buying it.

So Kirsten Dunce probably due, whether she's in these movies or not, is probably due for a nice bump, huh?

Good for Kirsten Dunce, man.

Good for Kirsten Dunce, man.

I'm really fucking happy for Kirsten Dunce and Stumpy, man.

They're going on my happiness board today.

I didn't know you had a happiness board.

I didn't.

I didn't, but I'm going to start making one, man.

I'm going to make one, dude.

And one of it's going to be Kirsten dunce and one of it's gonna be i have some good pictures of stumpy man

you have good pictures of him oh fuck yeah dude and i told you i'm taking pictures of all those birds and shit still you think i'm not turning that camera that beautiful camera i know walt doesn't always know what he's talking about i guess but but uh but i have some nice pictures of stumpy maybe i'll uh maybe i'll post one when this episode drops as they say there you go on the old on the old instagram A little stumpy action.

Yeah, maybe people want to see what Stumpy's all about.

Maybe people are interested in Stumpy.

I don't know.

They will be.

Watch how many likes that fucking picture gets of a fucking squirrel with his tail cut off.

I know, I guess.

Yeah, you're right.

I guess.

I hope so.

Like if it was an all-time record low, because when I see you put a picture up, it's like tens of thousands of likes.

If it got like 300 likes, would you be like, poor Stumpy?

I mean, I guess.

Yeah, I mean, I would.

Wow.

All right.

So I put the picture of Stumpy.

Let me look here, let me look at my Instagram, and I'll tell you the, the average, like the average number of likes that's something I'll put up gets, just so we have the numbers, right?

I mean, admittedly, I'm not posting as much.

All right, so one picture's got 50,000 likes.

The Rick and Morty's almost 67,000.

All right, so I could think, like, all right, the one with my mom, obviously, he's got 112,000.

That's my mother.

What are you going to do?

Okay, but some that has nothing to do with me, for instance, I posted a picture of my friend Eric has got like 8,500 likes.

Okay.

So we're saying Stumpy gets 300 likes.

Do I feel bad?

No.

How could I feel bad about that?

What am I going to feel bad about?

300 likes you didn't have before.

I don't care about the likes.

On the pictures, I guess what I care about is the rejection of Stumpy.

Like, would that mean that people are rejecting Stumpy?

Like,

they're like, yawn.

Is the absence of a like a not-like?

I think so.

Because that's what I feel.

Like, when I'm on Instagram and I scroll past something, I'm like,

I'm just, I can't like every picture.

Like, there's some people I'll like every picture they have, but then other people are, you know, I'll be like, ah, that's a not-like.

Like, this is not worth it.

Like, this is not worth putting up as a picture.

Right.

All right.

So you, so, wow.

All right.

Well, I'm interested.

I mean, I'm not going to say anything.

I'm not going to write anything underneath it that, like, you know, let's get some likes for Stumpy.

I'll put it up and we'll see how many likes he.

Now, all I care about is Stumpy getting more likes than Erica.

Yeah.

Yeah.

I don't know, man.

Let me read this real fast, and then I got a question to ask you.

Well, I know that, like,

with Mary Beth,

when I'm teabagging her, she likes a nice shorn scrodom, right?

I'm like, Mary Beth, you've risen to a station in life where you have Brian Johnson's balls in your mouth.

Oh, Lordy.

Feel good about yourself.

Or feel bad about yourself.

Either way, I don't care.

Hey, man, like, you know, it sounds beautiful to me.

It sounds like an expression of love to me.

I couldn't agree more.

Oh, you're talking about me using Manscaped, right?

Not her.

Yeah, that's exactly what I meant.

Yes, yes.

Support for TSD is brought to you by Manscaped.

Manscaped is the best in men's below-the-waist grooming champions of the world.

Manscaped offers precision-engineered tools for your family jewels.

Manscaped just launched their fourth-generation trimmer, the lawnmower 4.0.

Yes, you heard that right, Q.

The 4.0.

Joined over 2 million men worldwide who trust Manscaped with this exclusive

offer for you.

20% off in free worldwide shipping with the code TESD at Manscaped.

So this is what they got, a sleek, well-designed, optimized trimmer that makes shaving time your favorite time in the bathroom.

What is your favorite?

I had never, I've never considered that once.

As I'm in the bathroom, what's my favorite time?

Wow.

Well,

you're counting showers in that?

Because showers are pretty, you know, I like a good shower.

Nice hot shower.

Like you're cold or dirty?

Yeah, I do love a good shower.

Although, I can't be underestimated, you know,

the joy of a nice good dump.

You know, it's, it, it, it, it, it, it crosses over

all boundaries between humans.

I think a nice, good dump.

I couldn't agree more.

Like the kind you feel like in your lower stomach.

You're like, I just got to get it out of here.

And then you want to get that lined out.

You're like, I'm light as a feather.

Yeah.

It's a pretty good feeling, man.

It makes you feel alive.

So sorry, Manscaped.

You're right up there with taking a shit.

They engineered the ultimate growing and body tremor by focusing on intelligent functionality and an incredibly comfortable grooming experience.

Their fourth generation tremor features a cutting-edge ceramic blade to reduce grooming accidents.

That's good, too.

That's what I like about Manscaped.

It's like, I don't, I don't experience a lot of, or any, really, any grooming accidents with this thing.

Just buzzes it right off.

I'm ready to go.

You don't catch the skin in between the little clippers?

No, my balls are so calloused.

So they're not like scabby balls.

It looks like it has like elephantitis or something.

It's all fucked up looking.

This upgraded trimmer includes a multifunction on-off switch that can engage a travel lock.

It also gives you the ability to turn on the 4000K LED spotlight on and off when you need a more precise shave.

All right, allows you to customize your trim through additional guard length sizes one through four and wireless charging.

It uses electromagnetic induction, which can help your battery last longer.

And Q, you know who's going to thank you, don't you?

Who?

Your balls.

My balls.

Oh, right.

Sorry.

My balls.

My balls.

Get 20% off in free shipping with the code TESD at manscaped.com.

that's 20% off with free shipping at manscaped.com and use code TESD unlock your confidence and always use the right tools for the job with manscaped all right nice dude funny you should bring up Eric

because I had a question at your

your your Labor Day party right

people brought stuff people brought drinks people brought food Eric brought these very fancy cookies

yeah

now these cookies, I'm trying to, if I can explain to people,

they're basically like if you took a muffin and cut the top off and you got rid of the muffin bottom.

Right.

It's just the right thick, muffiny.

They look like speed bumps almost.

Yes.

Yeah.

So I was like, wow, they look pretty good.

Yeah.

And I grabbed one.

So I'm sitting down and I'm eating it.

And it didn't take long before I'm like, this is a fucking big cookie.

Right.

and then I'm faced with, like, well, I don't want anymore.

So, right.

So, how much cookie is enough cookie to eat?

When, like, like, say, Eric's watching me, how what percentage of cookie do I need to eat before he finds it acceptable for me to fucking throw it away?

He's all right.

There's two different looks at this because, like, if he's watching you is a different answer from if he's not watching you.

If he's not watching you, it's immediate.

Like, the second you're done, you just throw it out, right?

Right.

If he's watching you, I think you can get away with like,

I think you have to be careful about it.

You have to eat at least 25% of it, I think.

At least a quarter of it.

Yeah, and then put it down, but nearby as if you're going to go back to it.

And then slowly saunter away.

Yeah, well, then you just keep your eyes on Eric.

And when he's not watching you, you break off a piece and you fucking toss that in the trash.

So now when he looks back, it looks like while he wasn't looking, you're eating.

Once you've eaten 50% of the cookie, you're done with that cookie.

I think.

I think that's the okay time where you can just leave it there to rot.

Yeah, because I was trying to think: like, if I brought those cookies and I saw somebody take a bite and be like,

throw it away.

Well, you are at least like full.

Yeah, those were fucking hearty cookies, man.

And he wasn't the only one that brought them.

Other people came because apparently they're the new big thing now

in New York.

Like this new cookie shop opened up and everybody's going fucking berserk from it.

As usual, my head's up my ass.

I don't hear it.

So I actually, when that party was over, I had like too many cookies

left.

Too many.

Too many.

I tossed that right in the garbage.

Oh.

Just chucked them, huh?

I wonder how much one of those cookies cost.

I don't know.

I don't want to know, but it's probably less than the, you know, probably more than it costs to feed Stumpy, I got to imagine.

Should have just thrown the cookies out for the squirrels.

Is that good for the squirrels, though, dude?

Probably not.

It's the peanuts good for the squirrels.

Did anybody look that up?

As much as they love them

oh shit dude what if i just fucking what if i just spent the last year poisoning stumpy stumpy hold on let me just type that in right now are peanuts

are

peanuts

good

for

squirrels it comes up

uh

despite oh god here we go

here we go it's not right

Unfortunately, neither of these foods are all that great for squirrel health.

Despite the fact they'd be good for birds, corn and peanuts fail to provide any real nutritional benefits for squirrels.

That being said, peanuts and corn are fine in small amounts.

They're a part of a more varied diet.

Wow.

Maybe that's how I can get Mary Beth to stop throwing out so many peanuts.

I was like, hey, I just read it.

It's not great for her.

I don't know if you want to say that, pal, because here it goes.

What is the absolute best food for squirrels?

Nuts still in their shells, particular variety of walnuts, hickory nuts, white oak acorns, beech nuts.

So.

They all sound more expensive than peanuts.

That's what I was about to say.

Yeah, they sound pretty fucking.

Oh, man.

Those are like gourmet nuts.

Yeah.

Peanut is the common man's nut, right?

You're at a bar.

There's a bowl of peanuts.

There's not a bowl of fucking beech nuts or walnuts.

Yeah.

Oh, this is heartbreaking.

I've been feeding Stumpy the wrong.

I mean, it doesn't look like it's not going to hurt them, but it doesn't really give them what they need.

Which means, oh, come on, man.

Yeah, like nutritionally, I wonder if they got anything out of it.

This is it, dude.

This is the straw that broke my back.

Everybody's hearing it on air, man.

That's too much.

Everybody's hearing the fucking thing that finally broke me, man.

I've been fucking feeding Stumpy inappropriately for a year.

I mean, not true.

If I'm going to be fair, I only started buying the peanuts about six months ago.

He was eating all the sunflower seeds that I put out for birds and stuff like that.

So let me look up a sunflower seed.

Oh, no, I can't take it.

Sunflower seeds, okay.

I find blue jays constantly stealing the peanuts, too.

Swooping down, grabbing peanuts, and flying off.

Oh, man.

Oh, but look, walnuts, black or American, I have a black walnut tree in my yard, and those motherfuckers are eating those all day.

So, hey, I'm providing that for them.

Here we go.

Vegetables, broccoli, carrots, peas, yellow squash, and zucchini is excellent for feeding squirrels, my friend.

So all I got to do is pivot.

Where the fuck are squirrels finding all those vegetables in real life?

People's gardens.

Yeah.

Fuck yeah, man.

They're probably tearing up gardens and shit, but not not in my neck of the woods.

I'm going to go buy baby carrots and start feeding baby carrots.

Let's see how that goes.

Yeah, we'll see if they like them.

Mary Beth would put out out fruit, but they wouldn't eat like grapes and shit or strawberries.

They just wouldn't eat them.

Well, I'm sorry to turn space monkeys into the fucking squirrel feeding hour.

I feel like

we're doing like an NPR podcast or some shit like that.

I just got the North American squirrels.

Yeah.

Which, like, to be honest, I would listen to a podcast about squirrels, but I know that everybody tuning in for Tellum Steve, they maybe didn't sign up for that, so I got to apologize.

But, you know, guys,

your old pal BQ is having a rough week so let's maybe just give it to him like first waltz not there then all these two dickheads are just talking about squirrels the whole time I know I know I know and and after after I dipped into Reddit to look at the uh

daisy of love thing like I have been in the habit of going in after a new episode and just seeing I gotta stop I mean so far people have been nice but like I gotta stop doing that I mean I will do it because I want to see you know

I'll see what everybody thinks about letter Kenny and whatnot but I gotta stop going because it's just gonna be be a matter of time before somebody says something mean to me and I just crumble.

Hopefully you're back by then.

It would be nice to be back by then.

We'll see.

We'll get to it.

We'll get to it.

We'll get there.

I'm going to the ocean today, man.

What are you doing?

Going to the ocean.

I told Sage wants to go to the pool, right?

The pool club.

And I'm like, it's shut down.

It's not open on Labor Day.

And like, then she was like, Eric has a pool.

My brother Eric, who lives in California.

Yeah, Callie.

Yeah, and I'm like, yeah, she's like, we can go Friday because it's a weekend.

And I'm like, yeah, that's not going to happen.

She's so cute, though, man.

Like, the way she's trying to work it out in her head.

Yeah.

Yeah.

It's interesting because in her mind, it's just like, well, why don't we just go to Eric's?

Right.

Right.

And yeah, it's like, it's almost like heartbreaking to watch and listen to, but at the same time, it's really cute.

Yeah.

So you took it to the ocean?

No, I'm going to.

Oh, you're going to?

That's where we're going to as soon as you and I are done here.

Oh, I see her walking around in the background in her, in her, she's ready to hit the beach.

Yep.

You ready for the beach?

Ready for the ocean?

Yeah.

Want to say hi to Q?

Yeah.

There he is.

Hi, Queen.

Hey.

Say hi.

Hey.

Hey, babe, you going swimming today?

Yeah.

Oh, all right.

Are you excited?

Yeah.

You look ready to go.

You look so pretty.

You look like you're ready to hit the beach.

This is exciting, man.

Yep, that's right.

I'll let you work.

Thank you.

I'll let you work, she says.

Oh, that's great.

Oh, my God.

All right.

I can't believe how big she is.

Dude, isn't it fucking insane?

Like, I look at pictures of her from only three years ago, and I'm like, holy shit.

Yeah.

She's like, she gets so big.

She's almost as tall as Mary Beth.

Oh, my God.

We're all just

dying slowly.

It's a constant reminder, man.

I'm watching her, and I'm like, as she gets older, I'm like, I'm getting older.

And like, she's bigger.

She's just coming into

her mid-teens.

I'm entering my mid-50s.

Yeah.

Fuck.

Peace, assholes.

Peace, monkeys.