#489: TESD of Love
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Transcript
This is absolutely
normal.
This is irregular.
Obviously, not as bad as the poor woman that ended up in a suitcase, but we were victims as well, as it turns out.
These fucking women.
Women only have one role.
I'm comfortable with being a part of that.
It's okay.
Oh,
you might want to distance yourself now.
Hello, and welcome to this week's Tell him Steve Dave.
I am here with BQ.
Hey, bud.
It's just me and you right now.
You know,
we had a start time set.
11 a.m.
sharp.
First, I mean, I can't remember the last time we recorded a Tellum Steve Dave before the noon hour, but here we are.
You know, and 11's not that early.
It's not.
People have been at the workday,
you know, for two hours by now.
They're already revved up.
They're practically in the middle of their day.
They're fucking looking forward to lunch at this point, man.
We do have Walt Flanagan coming,
but
who knows when?
The exact time, when, the exact moment.
We'll all find out together because I guess it's just.
I don't know.
Maybe since he stopped managing the store, store, he's just lost a little bit of professionalism, would you say?
I'd say so.
I mean,
his track pants are even a little saggier than normal.
He was here, but he forgot his microphone at home, so he had to go home.
So we decided, let's just start recording without him to rip on him a little bit.
Give him a little bit of shit.
It was possible that we were going to record with Giddem because you were busy with family.
So I told him to bring two mics.
And then he said, well, I thought you only needed them if Gidham came.
You would only need two mics.
So even if you took Giddem out of the equation.
Like in case Giddam ate one or something.
I didn't really understand.
Yeah, man, man.
Not the new Giddam.
I wonder if he's still walking.
Oh, I believe he is.
Yeah?
Yeah, I believe he is.
They said they were going for a walk yesterday, so I'll have to check in on Giddam's.
Nice little hurricane stroll for the two of them.
I know, right?
That's right.
We're recording in the middle of a hurricane.
That's how dedicated we are.
That's how dedicated Walt Flanagan is.
He came out in a hurricane, went back home in a hurricane.
Now he's going to come here in a hurricane.
Yeah.
And all we can do is make fun of him for it.
Wow.
We should people.
This does give us the opportunity to discuss the most important of matters, though, without Walter Round to mock us.
Something that's been at the forefront for weeks now.
Weeks.
I have.
Why don't you walk him through it?
I guess.
So
we went down to Elvis Week, Elvis Daisy's, whatever, down in Tennessee, Q and I.
And on the way down there, he wasn't speaking of Elvis, but he was speaking of something that Adam Green, a noted horror filmmaker, brought up to him
a reality show that he said Q had to watch.
Yeah, and he's been telling me that for about seven years now.
And I have not ignored because I respect Adam's opinion, but I'm not really a reality TV show guy, despite my profession.
So I
then I found myself on my couch one night and
found myself on that couch for the rest of the night and most of the next day watching Daisy of Love.
Now, for those of you who don't remember 2009,
there was, actually, it probably would have been 2008, there was a show called Rock of Love, and it was a bunch of women competing to be, was it Brett Michaels' girlfriend?
Yeah, Brett Michaels was looking for love, and he was going to do it on a reality show, right?
So he, you know, went through the process.
Now, have you ever seen Rock of Love?
Because this didn't inspire me to watch it because I feel like there's no way it's going to be this good.
I don't want to watch Rock of Love because I'm such a Brett Michaels fan.
I don't know.
I should watch it.
I just worry that I'm going to watch it and
I don't know.
Actually, after Daisy Love, I got to go back and watch it.
I've got to be honest with you.
But, you know, I love Brett Michaels.
We've discussed this.
I just feel like the female contestants will not be as wild and
chock full of personality like these guys were.
Because these guys, there wasn't a lot of infighting with these guys.
It's almost like they were friends.
So the show's called Daisy of Love, which was a spin-off of Rock of Love.
She came in second place.
She was runner-up, right?
She was runner-up in the second season of Rock and Love, which, as Adam Green loves to point out, is the only thing that daisy
de la joy is famous for is for losing rock of love season two yet she somehow converted that into her own show oh my god it's daisy of love she's a rock chick and they're getting uh 20 of the biggest meatheads they could find uh rounded up into this house it's bros it's rockers it's freaks it's freaks it's the straight-laced it's people that you're like i don't know people like this in real life like i pointed out when we were watching it i'm I'm like, it's like they cast a movie, and these are some of the characters.
The way these guys dress, the way these guys act,
it's unbelievable.
It's pretty crazy.
Because even, like, all right, so just to let everybody, so finally, I watched it, what, like two weeks ago, I watched it.
I watched the entire series through in a, in a, in a 24-hour period, and then proceeded to watch it again later that week with Johnson in Memphis.
You would think we would have done anything.
We watched all of Daisy of Love, and then I watched it a complete third time through the second week with Sal and you for the later half of it.
It is that good.
The show is that good.
I try to explain it to people.
It's not bad good.
It's good good.
The producers of the show have taken
endless hours of footage and crafted something that is unbelievably unique.
And you're right.
The secret ingredient is the guys on the show.
They're all
most of them.
By the end of the show, people that you're watching in the first few episodes, by the time you get midway, you're fucking in love with these guys.
By the time you get to the end, every elimination is heart-rending.
You're just like, who are they going to like?
No, I like that guy.
I don't want him to go, but he seems like the obvious choice.
Yeah, yeah.
It's...
It's unbelievable how much you end up caring about the guys.
And this entire episodes were like, Daisy's barely in it.
Like, the producers knew what they had on their hands with this group of guys and focused on them.
And look, if you watch it today, and I cannot recommend enough that you do,
one thing you're going to notice is the way they dress is odd even for 2009.
Like,
they're wearing like early 2000 clothing, which is pretty interesting.
But
there is some language in it that say
doesn't fly like it,
like
there's some
canceled people on that show if if they were in the public today with some of the language they use right
um you just got to look past it
because uh when one of your favorite guys starts dropping f-bombs you're like oh man uh-oh waltz back
that's pretty quick hold on let me take this this part off
yep
you're sounding good we're we're mid uh we're mid-conversation we're already recording oh wow you guys couldn't even wait huh you're chomping out the bed.
Well, we're talking about something that for a fact we know you wouldn't want to talk about.
Walt,
do you remember Rock of Love, the Brett Michaels show?
It was a Broadway thing, right?
No, no, no.
It was a reality show where women.
So there was a spin-off of it called Daisy of Love, in which one of the contestants from season two got her own show where guys were competing for her.
Okay.
And it's from 2009.
It is fucking awesome.
It's one of the most watchable things I've ever seen in my entire life.
You will hate it.
Where is it streaming right now?
I'm so glad you asked that question, Walter.
If you go to Hulu, the uncensored version is streaming on Hulu.
It's in standard definition.
It's going to look shitty on your TV.
You're not even going to notice by the time you hit the second episode.
Walt, if I could beg you to watch the first two episodes of this show
and
get back to me with your thoughts, if you could stop at that point.
I don't know.
I think by the time you're at the end of the second episode, you're usually in for the full ride.
And I will say this: the fifth episode of
Daisy of Love is bar none one of the funniest things I've ever seen on television in my entire life.
And I am not, Brian, am I exaggerating?
No, he's not.
When he said, like, okay, so I'm going to name some things that we could have done while we were in Memphis.
There's riverboat cruises, there's haunted walking ghost tours, there's bus tours with musical stops, there's riverboat cruises, there's city tours, food tours, there's a whole bunch of shit.
And what did we do?
We watched Daisy of Love.
Yeah, we sat in the hotel room and watched Daisy of Love for probably, I mean, the episodes are 45 minutes each.
And we watched the first five that first night, right?
Yeah.
First five.
So
we put in a good four hours and
change.
We regretted none of it.
Not a single second spent watching Daisy of Love is wasted.
Honestly, like once I was like, I got to go back to my room because it's like two in the morning.
The next day, I'm like, that's all I looked forward to.
And Walt, this is across the spectrum.
Like, I've shown all people of all stripes this show.
Like, of course, every socio-political, racial divide line.
And everybody's getting back to me and they're saying, what the fuck was I doing when this show first aired?
Why the hell didn't I watch this the first time?
Dude, I watched Sal watch, like, when we watched the fifth episode together, I didn't even watch the CV.
I just watched Sal's face, and it was as if it was, he was on Showtime at the Apollo.
He was, Sal was standing up, he was fucking clapping.
I am not exaggerating a single thing.
You were there, right?
You saw it.
Like, Sal was like, fucking, he was rolling around on the couch.
He was fucking hitting things.
It's the fifth episode of Daisy in Love is one of the most must-watch things that I could recommend.
But what made you find a show that is almost a decade old?
Like,
discover something that, you know, would probably be buried upon
a mountain of content.
Adam Green has been telling me to watch it for seven years now, and I just, I just, I just never did it.
And then I was just bored on the couch one night, and I was like, you know, let me just check because Adam's really high on this show.
Let me check it out.
And that was it, man.
I was six episodes in the first night.
I talked until like three in the morning watching it.
It's it's crazy, the show.
It's so good.
And then, uh, so we watched Daisy of Love
while we're in uh while we're in memphis and it just it whets your appetite for more so okay what else can we watch then we watch the first two episodes of a show called tool academy do you remember this
no
it's uh basically it's a bunch of women who are like my husband or boyfriend is an asshole i need relationship boot camp so they gather all these guys together, get them in, you know,
it's the opening show, they get them into the one spot.
And
these guys are like muscle heads and bros, and they're going crazy, ripping their shirts off, and everybody's flexing.
And it's like everyone's fucking full of personality because they think the show is to win the coveted title of Mr.
Awesome.
So they think they're going to be Mr.
Awesome.
And
then they quickly learn that it's not a Mr.
Awesome contest.
It's,
are you a fucking, like, can you be rehabilitated from yeah, the girlfriends secretly set them up to go to this tool academy to learn how to not be tools anymore?
Oh, that's where the name comes from then.
Okay.
And the earnestness with which the host delivers everything is pretty fucking funny.
It's like it's no less, he's no less serious than if it was like The Bachelor or
something like that.
Did you guys agree that most of the men on the show were tools?
There's no way.
There's no other option.
They are tools.
But wait, wait.
Just to get back to Daisy of Love for a second.
Do you remember Ricky Rackman, Walt?
Sure do.
What was that?
He was Headbanger's Ball, yeah.
Okay, he's the co-host on Daisy of Love, and he is in hell.
It's so funny.
Like the look on his face while he's dealing with all these fucking shit.
Like he's, he's calling himself a has-been.
He's fucking sitting there staring at the camera.
Like he's just like, anytime Daisy, because like he'll advise Daisy throughout the show.
And spoiler alert, she will always, without fail, do the 100% opposite thing that he fucking tells her to do.
And you just see his resolve breaking down as the series goes on.
He mentions it at one point.
He's like, well, she hasn't done anything.
She's gone against all advice I've given her.
So
I don't expect her to follow this.
And this is like the last episode.
Yeah.
It is.
Well, I have in my life listened to maybe 10 episodes of podcasts, of a podcast.
Since Daisy of Love, I've been hunting down podcast appearances of old of the cast members.
I have been online like a fucking, like the FBI finding out what these guys are up to today.
Like, I'm still, still, as we, like, the first thing I think of when I wake up in the morning is Daisy of Love.
And usually, the last thing before I go to bed at night is Daisy of Love.
Yeah, it's something, man.
It's so much.
It's changing content.
It is.
That's not, I texted, so my buddy Jimmy that I was in the firehouse firehouse with, he watched it originally when it was on.
Like we'd be in the firehouse.
We'd be cooking the meal or up in house watching.
He'd throw it on.
And we'd all be like, get this fucking shit off the TV.
And Jimmy would be like, nah, she's hot.
You got to see it.
She's hot.
And we'd be like, get it the fuck off the TV.
I actually texted him last night and said, hey, man, I owe you an apology.
I said, you remember us busting your balls about Daisy of Love?
He's like, yeah, she was hot.
I go, yeah, I said, I finally watched it.
I was like, you were right.
I shouldn't have told you to shut it off.
But it's weird, though.
She's really not hot.
She has every quality that you would be able to point to and be like, well, that would make her hot.
That would make her hot.
But somehow, when it all comes together, you're like,
she looks really drunk most of the time.
And sometimes, even like, is she special needs?
Like,
she's out of it a lot.
She's out of it a lot.
Yeah.
Could it be drunk?
Could be.
I think that's alcohol.
Yeah,
throughout my research, in multiple interviews with the guys on the show, they all said that they all started drinking around 11, and they were just hammered throughout, like the entire filming, they were just hammered.
I mean, these guys are fighting.
They're breaking bottles over their heads, like all kinds of shit.
And it's real.
Or is it such good acting?
Well,
this is where we have to put our full faith and trust in our friend Adam Green because he swears up and down
everything.
And I don't know what his source is.
The producers.
Adam is so into this show, he's even talked to the producers of it.
The producers, obviously they're editing tricks.
They're always going to be editing tricks.
But the producers say it's 200% real was the quote.
Like those guys are those guys.
And that fucking that episode five that happened, they said was actually even funnier.
Like the network made them dial it back.
because they were like, it gets too weird.
So, I mean, it's fucking nuts, Walt.
Just watch the first two episodes.
And one of the episodes is a clip show, and like you says, it's uncensored.
So, like, these guys are, it's a very homoerotic show.
Like, these guys are constantly wrestling and
like,
like
about dog piling and like all kinds of weird shit.
And in the clip show, they're diving into the pool and they're naked.
They're hanging
their dicks.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
And I think you think I think, all right, so it's some of the character names are things like 12 pack because he's got 12 abs.
Flipper because he jumps a lot.
Cheechy,
sinister, fox.
Oh, fox.
Oh, my God.
It's it's fucking madness.
It's the whole show is great.
Big rig.
Oh, big rig.
I love them all.
I love them all.
I love every one of them.
When they cut out that first round where there's some duds in there, yeah, yeah.
It's it's magic from there on out.
That's why you got to get it.
They picked every single correct person.
There's a guy named Weasel who's like, he's from Jersey.
He looks like Jeff Spikoli, doesn't he?
He's like, hey, man.
Like an over-the-hill Jeff Spikoli.
And acts accordingly.
So that was Sean Penn, right?
In Fast Times, original night?
Yeah.
Put it this way: I think I saw a tear in Sal's eye
when we finally saw The Last of Weasel.
Oh, yeah.
Yeah.
There's certain people you don't want to see them go.
It's like, they're so lame, but so awesome.
You're just like, I just want them to stay.
Yeah.
So, anyway, this 17 minutes on Daisy of Love.
But anybody listening, like, I swear you guys won't regret it if you dive into it.
Yeah, if you have Hulu and like,
it's more fun to watch with people, a friend or some people, that you can really like
the excitement swells
when you're in a room full of people.
Would you be upset or disappointed if you found out it was all staged?
I think I would just appreciate it.
Because at some points, it gets so fucking crazy that I said to Johnson at one point, I go, you forget you're not watching a scripted show because it's so fucking nuts.
You're like, no, no way this could be real.
But then after getting to, like, after spending all the time with those guys and knowing they're drunk, you're just like,
because it all comes from their personality.
Like, it's, it, like, it's not like the producers are like, all right, now let's make them do a slip and slide.
Like, all the show, like, it all just comes from these guys interacting with each other.
And, like, Brian said, like, there's a weird thing that's really endearing in that they're all in competition with each other, but the guys seem to genuinely like each other
and get along with each other with the exception of two people
who are like the Darth Vaders
of the whole thing.
It's fucking great, dude.
It's great.
And one of the Darth Vaders is so dumb,
like, just a dummy.
It's it's so fucking funny.
Like, he'll try to talk his way out of shit.
And you've never seen a more tongue-twisted, marble-mouthed motherfucker.
Like, the worst, like, maybe the worst liar I've ever seen in my life.
He doesn't make any sense at any point.
It's amazing.
And everybody from Rick, when Daisy De La Jolla is looking at you like you're a fucking idiot, you know that
you know you got issues going on.
Yeah.
She never did.
And then after that, like you said, it's like she kind of disappeared.
She came out in 2016 or 2015 for an interview, talked about some substance abuse issues, and then sort of quietly retired again.
Wow.
And I don't know what.
I wonder.
Let me see if I can find out what that is.
Why don't you try to get her do a Tell him Steve Dave interview?
She, I would, dude.
Walt, I'm setting you up to watch this because I would really like the rest of this year to be nothing but getting cast members of Daisy of Love onto Tellum Steve Dave for conversations.
There are some websites.
We definitely got no doubt about.
Oh, man.
Look, 12 Pack lives in Jersey.
I think London still lives in New York.
I mean, I think we could get these guys.
I would say so, too.
I mean, if they all disappeared and.
Well, what happened was,
I don't want to do spoilers, but I don't know if you remember a few years ago,
this guy who won I Love Money season three ended up killing, horribly killing his girlfriend.
Like, murdered her,
cut off her fingers.
Yeah, put her in a dumpster in Las Vegas.
That's him.
Some case and set her next to a dumpster, yeah.
So some of
the cast members of Daisy and Love were in that season of I Love Money 3, and they never aired it because he killed.
And then VH1 canceled all those shows.
So there were supposed to be multiple spin-offs of Daisy of Love with these guys because, well, they're so fucking awesome.
And then that guy, and that guy killed his girl, and then that canceled all.
They can't, VH1 canceled all reality shows.
Didn't air that season.
We got robbed.
I mean,
obviously not as bad as the poor woman that ended up in a suitcase, but we were victims as well, as it turns out.
Yeah, I mean, I'm not going to give anything away,
any spoilers or anything, but some people did appear on other shows.
Big Rig appeared as a contestant on the revival of WWE Tough Enough.
Yeah.
Yeah.
I can't find any ratings, though,
for this show.
Well, I mean, it is a long Wikipedia entry, too.
It has like all the eliminations and the brackets and that kind of shit.
Yeah.
Oh, yeah, people, please don't look up anything.
Like, just watch the show.
Like, you don't want to ruin anything.
You don't, it's, it's, it's too precious.
It's too precious, and there's too little of it for you to ruin it by looking ahead.
Like, just take the ride.
Buy the ticket, take the ride.
Yeah.
That was one of Adam Green's orders as well.
And it turns out Adam Green was right.
Adam Green was 100% correct.
100% correct.
And we only got to watch those two episodes of Tool Academy, but so far so good.
So far, yeah.
That's another one he suggested, right?
Yeah, he said the next thing to go on to is Tool Academy, yeah.
Yeah.
But Tool Academy seemed a little more mean-spirited, like, from what we watched.
Oh, definitely.
It seemed like people were getting hurt right and left.
Yeah, like the women were crying a lot and shit like that.
Daisia loves just a fucking...
You know, unless you're sinister and you're feeling a little down in the dumps, like
then the show's pretty much a fun ride the whole time.
Yeah, Tool Academy, they like interview the guys, and the guy's like, hey, man, when I'm here, I'm single, and blah, blah, blah.
You know, like all that macho talk.
And then they bring in the women and then they play
what they said on the screen with the girl sitting right there.
Yeah, you got to sit next to your girlfriend
while they show footage of you bragging about fucking three chicks last week.
It's fucking, it's like, it's so uncomfortable to watch.
Yeah.
So
I'm not even going to try to get a clever segue into this commercial.
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You know, it makes it sound like it's
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But yeah, erectile dysfunction just makes you feel like a total fucking misfit.
Yeah, like you go, you come home from the doctor.
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Well,
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Yeah, really hard time swallowing pills, especially when I, like, if I ever had to take one one of them, like, larger than normal-sized pills, it'd be forget it.
I'd be like, like a horse pill.
Yeah, can't do it.
And it'd be like, I'd rather deal with whatever dysfunction I have.
Still to this day, huh?
Well, I don't take any pills now.
Oh, that's true.
Yeah.
Man, I'm pill-free.
You might have been some buffering here and there.
Well, I take baby aspirin.
I can chew that.
You can chew it.
I just got to say 40 of them.
I'm all better.
I got a headache.
It just took an hour of taking baby aspirin to get rid of my small headache.
Still hurts.
Get a couple more.
Do you remember how good baby aspirin used to taste back in the day?
The best.
The orange-like flavor.
St.
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Then they kind of
changed the flavor of it, and it didn't taste as good as it really, legitimately.
Like, I thought it was candy at a certain point.
Right.
And same thing with Joseph's, the cough syrup, St.
Oh, that I never took.
Oh, my God.
Oh my God.
Yeah.
It was like this thick,
really tasty syrup.
And, oh, my God.
And then they stopped making it, and it tasted like medicine.
But at a certain point in the early 70s, I could have been like a six-year-old hooked on fucking cough syrup.
Can you imagine if they hadn't changed the formula?
That's why they did it, right?
They're like, too many kids are drinking this shit because it tastes good.
I mean, like,
I can't recall the exact taste, but I do recall
kind of lying.
And if I even had a little scratchy throat, I think I need some cough syrup, ma.
Oh, yeah.
Yeah, because it tasted that good.
And just coated your, like, there's like this lube that just coated your throat.
I used to say that to my mom.
I've got a little bit of a headache.
I need 300 milligrams of oxycodone.
And you were 48.
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I imagine
it also translates out of the bedroom too.
Like if you're standing proud,
in the bedroom, I'm sure like, you know, when you go to work, you're going to be standing taller.
You're like chubbed up.
No, no, no.
I just mean
like emotionally and mentally,
you're going to feel a lot better and you're going to, like, it's probably like almost like the
what's about panacea?
What's it called?
I don't know.
What's that word called?
Like a cure-roll for probably a lot of things that are ailing you if you can
you can perform there and feel good about yourself.
Psychologically, it has to help.
It's got to help.
So like I mentioned, we went down to Memphis
to Q ⁇ I.
Oh, yeah, for what?
It was, what was it called?
Elvis Day?
Elvis Week.
Every year, the week leading up to Elvis' death, they have a week-long celebration of him that ends at a candlelight vigil around his grave and stuff.
But that's also where they crown the new official Elvis tribute artist.
for the next year, Graceland's official Elvis impersonator.
They don't call it impersonator.
They don't call them impersonators anymore.
I learned it's a negative connotation.
Yeah, it's tribute artists.
And they asked yours truly, Walt, to come down as a big Elvis fan and be one of the four judges who gets to decide who the next official
Elvis tribute artist will be.
So I had a very important job.
I don't know if there's anything cooler that is going to come out of you being
as big as you are right now than that.
That is fucking dope.
I mean, you've been to to pinball fucking tournaments.
Yeah.
I mean, but this has got to be the highs of highs.
You've got to be, this has got to be one of the coolest perk
of all.
I found, though, that because the other four judges was a woman that starred with Elvis in Kissing Cousins, a member of the Grammys,
and a music journalist.
So there was some fucking real, like.
Yeah, because so you were the guy, you were the tall card.
I was a wild card celebrity?
i was the wild card yeah yeah yeah that's a nice way to put it
well i mean because
because it's like are they were are they suspicious of his of his Elvis cred I don't think so this lady seemed to have a lot of faith in him okay his handler well no no but the person who picked him I'm sure yes but I'm talking about the other judges or or the judge who got to who got like who got the call like yeah you you can't come BQ is coming no that I don't know about that I can't speak speak for that person.
But I will say, when I left,
the guy
from the Grammys said to me, he goes, I hope you come back next year.
He goes, this contest needs a little bit more of your energy in it.
Oh, nice.
That's a little,
that's almost as good as a blue chew.
That's a shot in your arm.
Well,
we came in and like, I came in to just have fun.
Like, I didn't realize how serious it was.
It was never explained to me.
So, I just came in with my normal BQ fucking, ah, let's have some fun with this bullshit.
But it turned out to be the right attitude because I did take it seriously.
I mean, we listened to 60 performances.
Yeah, it was two and a half hours, two nights in a row of different performances by 17.
Live or they send in live.
No, they were on stage.
So you got to pick one out of 60.
No, what they do is the first round, I think there were 17 guys the first round.
No females.
No females.
Is that an Asian guy?
Are females allowed to enter?
That's a good question.
Probably not.
You might want to distance yourself now.
No,
while the gutton's good.
Women only have one role in Elvis's world.
I'm comfortable with being a part of that.
It's okay.
They're all Priscillas to us, man.
I got to say, though,
as far as the judges were concerned, now
this will show you.
How many people were in that audience?
1,500?
It was a thousand-person auditorium.
The first night, I think it was 800.
I think the second night they sold out.
Yeah, the second night looked like it was packed.
Okay, so a thousand people.
And they introduced the judges.
Like you said, the Grammy guy and the music journalist, it's like, how much applause are they going to get?
The lady who was in the movie with Elvis, it's like she knew the guy.
Yeah.
You would think that she would get more applause than BQ, who's like, I listened to Elvis.
Not the case.
Not the case at all.
Well, I mean, he's a lot.
more current than the lady who was in a movie with Elvis from 1955.
Well, also, like, when they put, you know, it's like they introduce, the judges are all the way in in the back.
You know, so they're facing everyone's back and they're facing the stage.
And
when they call their names, you know, like a spotlight goes on them.
So, like, you know, the first three people just wave.
But then when it's Q's turn, he stands up and raises up his arms triumphantly as if like he just won Elvis Week.
But people loved it.
And I guess that's what that guy was talking about, needing that kind of energy.
You got to give them what they want, bro.
Yeah, they wanted it.
I have to ask you a question.
How do you think an Elvis impersonator,
like, how does he mentally
deal with having to, like, his whole career is based upon being somebody else?
It's got to be somewhat damaging to your psyche after a while, right?
That you have to evolve into being somebody else.
Some people certainly take that tact.
The winning selection, the winner, was a very controversial choice that I later found out because, one, he's a New Yorker, and two, he's a Broadway actor.
So he already has,
like, he played the lead in Lemiz.
He played the Phantom in Phantom.
He's a professional musical theater guy.
And a lot of people, I found out later, did not like that.
Why, though?
They felt that it should be the guy you're talking about.
They felt it should be the guy who lives the life, who, like Sean Klush, like the guy who's like, loves Elvis,
doesn't feel what you're talking about, like loves being so closely associated to the king and loves performing and keeping him alive in front of people.
According to the old ladies that we were in the elevator with who didn't realize that one of the judges was in the elevator with them,
it was not a good choice.
These fucking women were pissed.
Well, and they're older ladies?
Yeah, they're all older ladies now.
Older ladies who probably were like, who worshipped Elvis in their teens?
A lot of women in their 60s.
Yeah.
They would have a little more,
I don't know, I don't want to say,
but
they loved Elvis, though.
So they would have a bit more
dog in the fight, Doe, to get to, for their Elvis to win, since they
probably worshiped one and dreamed about
a night with Elvis.
They're too close to him.
They're not able to see it.
Now, I've only met one Elvis impersonator.
Yeah.
Tribute artists.
Tribute Tribute artist.
Sorry.
And I found him to be completely batshit crazy.
Like, like, where I was like, this, this dude is definitely mentally unhinged.
Did you used to come to the store?
Yeah.
Like,
concocting bizarre, elaborate lies that you could find out in a second were fake.
That he was going to be Uncle Jesse on fucking Full House until his mother got sick and then he had to bow out and then they picked John Stamos instead of him.
Well, didn't you find old video and we were watching it.
We're like, we can't tell if it's him or not.
Right, yeah.
I thought you were talking about Rob Bruce.
That's not who you were discussing.
No, no, no.
Yeah, this dude was like crazy, crazy and would just come in and just spin tails.
And then as soon as he'd leave, I'd hop on the internet and see if he was telling me the truth.
And every time I'd be like, This is not this person.
He told me he was in a TV show that only aired for six episodes.
And he's like, You can't find it anywhere.
He said, It's never been released.
But I found it on like a
bootleg website called IOffer that doesn't even exist anymore.
And I ordered it just because I was like, I want to see if he's telling me the truth.
And it wasn't him.
It was a different actor.
Because it was like a naked gun kind of show where they're like about a TV precinct of bizarre characters.
And one of the cops, they they allowed to dress like Elvis all the time.
And he said he was that character.
He said he was that actor.
And then when I fucking got to TV show, it wasn't him.
Oh.
Oh, wow.
No, it seemed like everybody down there.
These are all stable.
I mean, Brian, did you see any real wacky?
Like, the guys were all super nice and everything.
They're like, they're hyper
friendly enough.
They were nice to me.
Oh, okay.
Yeah, so that says a lot.
I mean,
even when I wasn't with him, I would meet different Elvis impersonators and like hey how you doing tribute artists yes tribute artists
very welcoming very welcoming people and I learned that there are no casual Elvis fans you're either all in all the way or you're yeah you just don't you're just like not a weekend warrior for real not not at this place no no what where where did we stay it was the it was called the guest house was that actually on graceland property it's on graceland property they built a hotel yeah on the graceland property so what are the responsibilities of the winner throughout the year now like does he have like a
a hectic schedule he has to keep now with Elvis dating?
I don't know about hectic, but he's the official one that's sent to appearances.
He's the one that appears at Graceland, the concerts at Graceland.
Is this a lucrative win for whoever wins?
When I was talking to the man who won at the end, and we were talking about Broadway reopening, and he said, he's like, I'm going to be busy for the next year anyway.
He's like, this is a year-long job.
I mean, it starts off with a $20,000 check.
So right off the bat, you're like, fucking, yeah.
Yeah.
They give you a little retainer, you know,
so they could call on you at any time.
Now, were there different stages of Elvis impersonators, or is it only, nope, you got to be thin, trim, super hot, Elvis?
There was a 19-year-old kid who was in the contest for the first time, and he mainly did young, like, teenage Elvis songs.
And everybody was very impressed with him because all of the other contestants, there is
copious amounts of film footage of Elvis in concert.
So they knew how to,
you know, act like him.
This kid, who was 19 years old, there was no footage.
So he, I was talking to him about it.
So he was like, I had to imagine what a 19-year-old Elvis and how scared he would be and insecure he is.
And he goes, and I had to incorporate that into my act.
And when I was watching him, I saw it.
Like he shumped, he slumped his shoulders down.
He pretended he was a little unsure of himself.
It was, it was, odd time.
But for people watching, though, who didn't get to interview him, would they think that would they realize that he was like doing a nervous Elvis?
I think so.
Yeah, I think so.
Because Elvis is known
his early songs before he even recorded.
One of the things is you could always hear how nervous energy he had.
So he's kind of playing off that.
I never would have put that together.
I would have just assumed he was nervous.
That's what I'm saying.
It's like, yeah, unless you're interviewing the guy or he's talking about what he's going for before he steps on stage, you would think that he was just being nervous.
So there was no like puffy on his way out, Elvis.
No, there was something Elvis is that, right?
They'll never win, right?
No, you'll get the, it's mostly 70s Elvis.
It's mostly the jumpsuits and stuff.
The white jumpsuit.
Yeah, but there's no like, you know.
It made me think of, like, he was wearing a cape.
It made me think of you when.
Because you always say you like that little cape.
Oh, I love that little cape Elvis.
You know where he got that from, Q?
What is that?
He was a big Captain Marvel fan, and Captain Marvel.
Oh, yeah.
Captain Marvel Jr.
wore a little half cape, and he was like, I'm going to wear a half cape.
I think you've told me that in the past.
Yeah.
It was something.
And I will say,
there's a lot of beautiful women down in Memphis, man.
You're like, holy crap.
And the Elvis tribute artists seem to
get a lot of them.
Like, you should have seen the women that these guys were with because you would think, like, Elvis guy, like, he's kind of like corny and shitty.
He's like super into Elvis.
But the women these guys get, man.
Well, I, I mean, is it crazy?
Is it crazy?
But again, is it all just like this giant
delusional fever dream where like the women are like, I'm with Elvis?
And the guy's like, I'm Elvis.
It all works out then.
I mean, whatever gets you through the fucking day, man.
It's like, no, but at a certain point, do you ever just walk like you're walking?
You glance over and you see your reflection.
You're like,
I'm not Elvis, and I'm not with Elvis, and I'm not sleeping with Elvis.
And this guy with my life,
I don't know.
I've told myself for 15 years that this fucking asshole is Elvis.
He's an impersonator.
I mean,
these women were so good-looking, Walt, that I was like, can I grow a pompadour?
My ass into a thing.
It was like unnerving how.
Like glamorous, I think, is the word.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
The first night we were there, like I said, we stayed up real late watching Daisy of Love.
And so we go to bed, and at like 4:30 in the morning, all of a sudden you're like,
the fucking fire alarm goes off.
And his room was across from mine, so I'm like banging on his door.
He's like, what?
What's going on?
What's going on?
We go downstairs at fucking 4.30 in the morning.
We have to stand outside.
For the record, I wouldn't have left.
I opened my door.
I saw there was no smoke in the hallway.
I was like, I'm just going to put a pillow over the alarm and go back to bed.
Yeah.
Really?
Fireman.
That's not good advice for me.
No, I know.
I wouldn't say do it, but I'm trained.
I know if there's a fire or not.
There was no fire.
We were outside for an hour.
You look, you look,
how many stories was your hotel?
Five.
It was five, right?
Okay, so you look up and down one hall of a five-story hotel.
You're like, nah, there's no fire.
And we're on the fifth floor, by the way.
You don't know what's going down on the floors underneath you.
I know exactly what's going down on the floors below.
I know everything that's going on.
One glance, because I've been in a hotel that was on fire where the alarm went off and I opened the door and I looked up and I was like, oh shit, we actually got a fire here.
I'm telling you,
smoke rises, bro.
That shit just comes right up, right up.
Oh, okay.
But it was on the roof, though.
Rooftop.
It would still would have banked down and stuff like that.
We were on the fifth floor.
I would have seen something.
But whatever.
Look, man, hey, safety first.
I left.
I got out.
But everybody left.
And 80-year-old woman who was Cynthia Pepper, who was in the
movie with Elvis, you know, she was the other child.
She was 80.
Or 81.
81, right?
81.
She looks, by the way, 60 taps.
She looks 60 and she's real.
Like, she's one of those fun old ladies.
Right.
You know?
Yeah.
I mean, she made out with Elvis.
I mean, you know, what does she have to be anything but fun with?
Right.
Yeah.
How long can that carry you?
Apparently, to 81, at least.
At least.
But
when she was outside, no, we didn't see this.
But I guess, you know, it's fucking pitch black out there, and everybody's walking around because they think there's a fire.
And I guess she stumbled over something and fell flat on her face.
Like, fucked up her cheek, fucked up under her eye.
She had a black eye split lip.
Oh, man.
The exact sort of thing that would have put me on a plane home.
I would have been like, I can't fucking judge a contest.
I'm all jacked up.
My head hurts.
She was like, she's like, nah, I'm in pain, but I'm still good.
Wow.
Yeah, she toughed it out.
She's impressive.
She toughed it out.
It is impressive.
There was also the music journalist's wife when we were sitting in the back room.
Oh, I don't know about we want to tell this story.
Oh, no.
I guess if we don't name them, but I mean, I don't know.
People could look it up.
Well, oh, I'm talking about his wife, what she said.
Yeah, that's what I'm talking about.
Well, like the guy comes in and she's
wife, another one, one of these glamorous type women.
And almost immediately, she was like, oh, yeah, we met here.
Da, da, da, da, da.
We had anal sex on the first date.
We did anal on the first date.
Those are her exact words.
We did anal on the first date.
Whoa, whoa, whoa.
Who was she telling us to?
Us.
Us.
No reason?
No reason at all.
I think she was joke.
She was like trying, she was like, she was a
fun.
I think she was trying to get it.
A bit of read on the room and shit.
Yeah, yeah.
But we were.
That's awesome.
Yeah, we were cracking up.
But she mentioned it two more times.
He didn't like it.
He kept like, he kept like he was a little button down
yeah
yeah non-buttoned down enough to fucking not have anal sex on the first date i mean this is what she's claiming well hey i wouldn't call that button down at all and then she goes uh no he is
what i was telling you but it wasn't like it wasn't like he was like oh no like a button down guy would be like this is this is absolutely this is abnormal
this is irregular
yeah i guess you're right they were both freaks yeah But again, another beautiful, I mean, she was, she was fucking hot.
You know, she was beautiful.
I thought she was fun, you know.
Oh, she was great.
So you could see why a guy on a first date would like, you know, go all in.
I feel like I wouldn't marry a girl, though.
Why?
I thought I had anal in the first date.
It's just like, maybe I'm too buttoned out.
I don't know.
It just seems weird.
It just seems very weird to me.
It does make you think, like, well, if this, the first,
not even 12 hours
meeting me, that this is what you're willing to do, what have you been up to?
What else did you do?
What have you been up to before you met me then?
It's like you're in your early 40s.
God knows what
I think you guys are a little too buttoned up, man.
Yeah, we might be.
Oh, well, I've never claimed up anything but be buttoned up.
Yeah.
I mean,
I'm buttoned all the way to the top.
Yeah, man, his neck's pinched.
No way, man.
I'm just peeking out
one of the eye holes.
You can't even see my face.
Yeah.
Look, anything that she's done with someone else, I'm not going to be happy with.
So it's not, you know.
Yeah, that's true.
But your mind's going to go to much more darker places
after your first date, though.
Sure, but at the same time, I'll also be having anal sex.
So it'll be
trade-off.
Yeah, you know, you got to make these trade-offs.
I think you can take your woman being a total slob.
But what if she talks about that?
Oh, that's not accurate.
Come on.
Are you okay, though, if you're that guy in the first total stranger she's telling within two seconds of meeting them?
Well, I think there was a little bit of the fact that we were backstage.
We were the judges.
Hey, it's cute from impractical jokers.
I think she was just like having fun.
Like we were all joking around and just, I don't think in polite company, she would have just brought that up.
Do you agree with that, Brody?
She brought it up so quickly.
It was so quickly.
I've met a couple celebrities.
And it felt like it was only me and you in the room either.
Cynthia Pepper was clutching her pearls, nowhere to be seen.
Now, I've met a couple celebrities in my day, like, you know, going back when a young Walt Flanagan has met some pretty impressionable celebrities.
Yeah.
I met Ben Affleck pretty young in my life.
Who else did I meet?
I don't know from being around with Kevin, but yeah, it would take me
a lot longer than the first two minutes to reveal something that intimate, though, to one of them, though.
Ben, Ben, come here.
You'll never guess what I do on the first date.
I can't get the girls to do it, but I would do it.
If you see Matt, tell him.
Don't forget.
Don't forget.
I won't.
The next time I,
if I run into Ben again, that's the first thing I'm going to say.
I'm going to go, you will not believe how much anal I've been having.
You just leave it at that.
So he's like, well, what do you mean?
That you've been having or that you've been giving.
Hey, man.
It's 2021, Ben.
You know what I listened to Elvis on Q?
Yeah.
Raycon.
Damn straight.
Yeah.
Working looks different for everybody, especially these days.
You almost believe he's still around.
Heck and he's singing right behind you.
That's very true.
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My ear hole?
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Yeah, I agree.
Did you guys, I know you must have uh seen suicide squad oh yeah did you go to the movies to see it yeah
i loved it i have to uh issue an apology for my sarcastic tone when i said to sal like yeah we can't wait for staro right because i watched staro is pretty cool oh the whole movie was fucking so fun i didn't want it to end like i just could watch the i could watch a 24-hour movie about the Suicide Squad with those actors, that writing, that special.
It was just perfect.
Yeah, it was great.
I've watched it twice already, man.
Maybe even twice and a half.
I mean,
I couldn't even, if you asked me to point to a misplay in the movie, I couldn't even really
do it.
I mean, even Harley Quinn, like that fight scene in the hallway with her, I was like, holy, what she had the spear?
Yeah.
I was like, fuck, man.
Like, they, they, although
we like birds of prey.
Like, we watched it and we're like, oh, this is better than we thought it would be.
But, yeah, Suicide Squad,
Staro, man.
When he lifts his arm and those fucking little mini ones come out, it's unbelievable.
I loved it.
With Harley Quinn, you feel like
different people have played Batman, different people have played Joker, but it's hard to imagine anyone else playing Harley, right?
Like, she just does it so well.
There's going to be other people who play Harley.
Well, when she ages out.
Yeah.
She's too old.
I think, I don't know.
I don't think the movie did all that well, though, right?
From what I've seen some reports that
it's not
what they were hoping was going to happen.
And I mean, how many more Harley movies can she be in that don't perform well, though?
Yeah, especially when that Harley Quinn show is on the air and it's so good, and like that version of Harley is becoming so beloved.
And it's certainly not her fault.
I mean, I'm not saying that at all, but I don't know why it's not equating to box office success, though.
Anything that she's in, it really doesn't seem to move the box office needle.
I don't know, man.
I tell you what, though, maybe if they'd kept her in that outfit from the first movie that everybody fucking railed against so much, more people would have went into it.
I don't know, because that was a great costume in the first, you know, the first Suicide Squad.
And how, like, all the characters that, I mean, there weren't many
who were in the first movie, who came back for the second movie.
Like, Rick Flagg was so fucking good in that.
But he was forgettable in the first one, though.
Yeah, they figured out a way.
It's James Gunn, man.
The guy fucking, he knows what he's doing.
The guy knows how to make a good movie, right?
Sure does, man.
They tried to cancel him.
He came fighting back.
They tried.
They tried.
Which is good.
He's the one
example that you could point to of like, hey, if you've been canceled, there's hope because you can come back.
Yeah.
You know, I don't know.
Like, all the people who have been canceled are sitting on the sidelines moping and shit.
Well, they're like, well, I'm not fucking James Gunn.
I'm just some asshole who made a joke 20 years ago.
Or, I don't know, maybe Roseanne, Maybe, you know,
she's bigger than James Gunn, you know.
So maybe at some point, maybe, you know, she finds her way back.
After the, what was it again?
Oh, it was something about making comments on the show.
28 comment.
Yeah, yeah.
What the fuck?
They said A Quiet Place Part 2 made $48 million.
Fast of Furious 9 made 70.
Black Widow made 80.
So they thought it was on its way to
make a couple bucks, but it only made 26.5 million.
Do you you think that's because of the other Suicide Squad movie people?
I have to think it has a big factor.
I remember when you were talking about it with Sal, I was like, I cannot believe they're just calling it the same title, though.
It feels like a big misstep on their part to not have a subtitle or something about this movie to make sure people realize.
Because
I don't know how you cannot realize it.
I mean, but I guess there's a certain part of the population that just doesn't have their pulse on comic book movies and be like, I saw that already.
Why?
What's the big deal?
It sucked.
It says the original Suicide Squad made $746 million globally.
Globally, despite terrible reviews.
It's almost a fucking billion dollars.
Like for a piece of shit.
And I would argue that a lot of that had to do with Harley Quinn, like the first movie.
I think so.
But I don't know.
Do you.
Yeah, maybe calling it something other than the exact same title as the fucking movie that everybody dislikes from four years ago
wasn't the best idea, I guess.
But to me, it's also like it was for free on HBO Max.
I didn't watch it in theaters.
I watched it at home.
Yeah, I know.
That has to have
an impact on your ticket sales, I would imagine.
For sure.
I watched it with three other people.
If the four of us had gone to a movie theater, you know what I mean?
Why am I going to go?
I just don't understand why I would go to a movie theater if I could watch it at home.
I did want to see Star Or and IMAX.
I kind of do want to see that, like him towering over you, like that big and shit like that.
But at the same time, I could just stay home and like,
you know, wear a robe and watch it.
That's probably what I'm going to do.
I feel what Gunn did that was
while it wasn't a true representation of the comic book I loved in the 80s, he at least
was
cognizant of it and even went, you know, did little things to
make make guys like me who are into that comic book be like, oh shit, I know you're out there.
And like he did little things like Easter eggs to, you know, that I really appreciate.
Like they put the John Ostringer, the guy who wrote that comic book, he was the doctor that shot
the little thing to the back of your neck, like the little bomb.
Oh, the actual writer?
Yeah, he was
like, he played the doctor.
And Rick Flagg is wearing a yellow shirt with those black pants.
And that's all that Rick Flagg wore for like 100 issues in a row was a yellow shirt.
And so like, it was like a nice little nod to
the comic book character from the 80s that he had that yellow shirt on.
Yeah, it was also the first movie poster that
I can't believe this hasn't been done yet so far, but it was the first movie poster where on the bottom it said, buy the DC comic.
Like the poster acknowledged.
And they haven't been doing that in all these years.
Nobody's been being like, go read DC comics here and stuff like that.
Or download digitally on the app.
So
you get the feeling that Gunn
is kind of a legit comic fan.
He's like real deal into it.
Yeah.
Hopefully,
DC doesn't
look at just the box office and realize that.
Let this guy fucking have control.
Because
the people you have been given total creative control to are the keys to
mapping out the DC universe.
It hasn't worked so far for movie-wise.
I think this guy could do it.
The Peacemaker series is coming soon.
He made a TV series with John Cena.
You think that'll happen?
It's already shot.
Oh, it's already.
Okay, well, then it's definitely going to happen.
I wondered if, though, the lukewarm reception might
make that announcement.
You know, maybe
it not happened now.
No, they already shot it.
Here's the thing, my thing is: I watched Jungle Cruise.
Yeah.
And that's, you know, of course, the rock.
And
I can't believe I'm saying this, but we live in a world where John Cena is running fucking rings around the rock in terms of acting, comedy, like charisma.
Like, it's, I, if you had told me that two years ago, I would have been like, get the fuck out of my face.
John Cena is not going to be the guy that fucking breaks as, but he's doing the shit.
And then you watch Jungle Cruise, and you know, it's Jungle Cruise.
I didn't not like it.
I was like, all right, I'll watch this.
This is fine.
It's fun.
It is what it is.
But it wasn't like Suicide Squad where I was like, this is fucking awesome.
And everything Cena does in it is fucking great.
He's so good.
And he commits to being a prick so hard in that movie that you're like, I just don't see The Rock doing this.
He's going to keep doing these safe, fucking, you know, I'll make a billion-dollar movies.
And I don't think it's.
But do you see, can you see the peacemaker being the focal point and
the star?
Or does he work best when he's playing off?
somebody
you know and not being the being a supporting character and not the star of a movie
a television series.
I got to assume Gunn's going to be smart enough to create that dynamic within the series where he's still kind of like an outsider prick to people.
I'm not going to be able to do that.
What a bizarre thing for your first,
I guess.
Would that be the first
DC?
I guess not.
I guess all that CW stuff would be.
But I think it's bizarre that we're having a Peacemaker television series, a character that nobody has any idea about, unless you're like a true
anal fucking comic book fan.
First date anal comic book.
Well, you know, he remember they put out those books a few years back, League of Regrettable Heroes and
League of Regrettable Superheroes, where they were just books you could buy it like, and it was just the lamest superheroes.
Peacemaker's in that.
So he was already like torn down years ago as useless.
So it's great to to see.
I mean, he made that fucking helmet work.
Awesome.
It looks so good.
But the thing is, though, we'll probably, you know, now we see Infinity Gauntlet mock-ups.
Not mock-ups, what are they called?
Like, you know, you could buy your own Infinity Gauntlet, like a $500 one that looks just like the one in the movie.
And we have helmets of Boba Fett, but I really, really doubt that we're going to see a Peacemaker helmet, you know, that you could buy in Target or something.
Right.
Maybe, but I guarantee you you'll see a bunch of homemade ones at Comic-Con.
That's true.
Yeah.
Whoever doesn't want spoilers, tune out for the next 10 seconds.
I was, the only part that disappointed me was when in the very beginning when Weasel drowned, I was like, that's so dark and fucked up.
It's amazing.
But then when they brought him back, I was like, shit.
Really?
You didn't like him come back?
Oh, I liked him coming back.
It was like they just left it.
And I was like, it's so fucking crazy that they would take the character and just drown him.
I just like that he just like all googly-eyed and just wakes up and just runs away.
I just thought that was the ultimate joke, though, like at the end.
I really enjoyed that he came back to life, though.
And I actually thought it was hysterical, too, because to me, it wasn't him.
You're saying him drowning is dark.
For me, hearing them go with like his crime was murdering children.
Oh, right.
That's true.
Because they could have said his crime was anything but murdering children.
I mean, the implication is that he ate the kids, right?
Like, that's what you
got.
But that's why James Gunn's fucking good at what he does.
Yeah.
Like, you got to wonder if anybody at DC was like, ah, you're going to make him.
Because that's the fucking genius of it.
Because you're playing with villains.
So,
like, really, who at DC is going to be like, well, we can't make them that much of a villain.
Like, it's about villains.
That's weird because, like, that's, that's why James Gunn, one of the reasons he got canceled was he was like tweeting like these really dark jokes about murdering and molesting children and shit.
Really?
Yeah.
I didn't, I knew a little bit how he got canceled.
I knew it was about offensive comments posted online or something like that, but I wasn't sure of the exact
comments that
were the result of the cancellation or the almost cancellation.
Basically, it was like Marvel was just like, no,
you're not on Guardians of the Galaxy.
And like two seconds later, DC was like, we'll come make Suicide Squad.
It was the quickest cancellation of all time, probably.
I was, I was at, he's at the same agency as we're at.
I was at the agency the day after all that went down, after he got fired off Guardians of the Galaxy.
And I was in a conversation with his agent, and
like 24 hours later, he was like, Yeah, he's gonna be all right.
It was like,
they were already like, He's gonna be fine.
Yeah, it says here it was tweets about rape and pedophilia.
Yeah,
Oh, my God.
All right, let me read one thing.
Since we didn't do a show last week, I got three spots this week, so bear with us.
We're talking Green Chef, which is delicious.
Green Chef lets you choose from a wide array of easy-to-follow recipes perfect for keto, paleo, and plant-powered diets, even if you just want to eat in a more balanced way.
They have flavorful recipes that the chefs design that go way beyond ordinary for a diverse array of meal plans and plenty of options to choose from each week.
That's it, man.
That's what we need.
Everything is hand-picked, featuring organic veggies and high-quality proteins delivered to your door pre-measured and mostly prepped in an insulated package.
And it's the most sustainable meal kit, offsetting 100% of its direct carbon emissions and plastic packaging in every box.
Ah, who cares about that?
So you can feel great about what you're eating and how it got to your table.
You ever think about that?
I know I don't.
What?
Think about how it got to your table?
Just eat it.
No, I think there's some things that
you if you trace it back too far to its origins, you're not going to be happy, right?
With green chef, you will be, though, it appears.
Uh, what is your favorite green chef recipe?
Who did you who did you cook with?
Well, Mary Beth made some like pork chop type things.
Oh, they have meat?
Oh, yeah.
Okay, I thought it's all plant-based.
No, it's paleo stuff, you know.
Like, how can pork
be meat green?
No,
green chef.
The way they mean, the only pork that's green is the one you don't eat.
It's very moldy.
She likes it because
I kind of zone out when we're doing these, but I really thought Green Chef meant it was all vegetarian.
All just vegetarian.
No, no, no.
All like leafy stuff.
Nope.
Roughage.
What's it called?
Some roughage?
Yeah.
Keep you regular.
No, they got all kinds of stuff, man.
That's what's great about Green Chef.
Go to greenchef.com/slash TESD100 and use code TESD100 to get $100 off,
including free shipping.
Whoa.
Right?
$100 off?
$100 off, man.
Come on, that's practically free.
That's a lot, man.
So go to greenchef.com slash TESD100 and use the code TESD100 to get $100 off, including free shipping.
And it's the number one, Green Chef is the number one meal kit for eating well.
Number one.
Why would you look anywhere else?
It's the gold standard of this kind of stuff.
Green
living.
Yeah.
It's the most important thing you can do.
It's the green standard.
Yeah, nice.
Let's just get rid of gold.
Remember when we told you that we were...
Oh, wait, did I tell you that I was losing at
that game left-right center?
Don't know what I'm talking about.
We never talked about that.
We talked about left-right center.
Yeah.
Yeah, it's a game.
When we were down in Key West, we were playing.
Oh, yeah, yeah.
And you got mad because you lost money.
I lost.
No, I don't care about the money.
11 in a row.
11 in a row is what I cared about.
And then my brother Eric came to town, so I got like, it was like me, Eric,
Mary Beth,
my nephew, and Sage.
We all played, and I fucking won.
I finally won.
I just want everyone to know I finally won.
But you're not playing against.
I immediately lost again.
But you're not playing against skilled competition, though.
Well, there's nothing.
I
Yeah, there is an element of luck to the game.
Yeah, that's awesome.
I thought
this isn't like poker or anything.
No, it's literally roll the dice and just hope.
Oh, okay.
But yeah, but like there's guys that you don't want to roll dice against, right?
There are guys you don't want to roll dice against.
Black guys are real good at rolling dice.
I noticed that.
When we used to play poker, and then we would go out and roll dice out in the street.
They were always winning, man.
I'm just talking about high rollers.
You know you're going to lose against a high high roller.
Guys who know how to roll dice.
I don't know how you know, but they just got it.
They got the it.
It was curious.
Like, I did think maybe Q loaded the dice.
There was something to it.
Oh, you thought that are your boy, bro?
I wanted to ask you this.
I know the answer, but has this ever happened to you?
I went to a pizza parlor, the one I normally go to,
and they have a jug
up on the counter where you could put tips in.
It's a clear jug.
And they were particularly nice to me the other day.
And I was like, I was on my way out.
I was like,
I'm going to drop a buck in
the tip jar.
And
I thought I had singles in my pocket.
I know I only have singles.
So whatever I pull out, I'm going to drop in is going to be a single.
And
it was a 20.
When I hit the bottom of the thing, I could see the zero.
And I looked at it.
I may stop, and I saw it was 2-0.
I had a $20 bill in my pocket.
And the guy turned around and goes, thanks, buddy.
Not seeing that it was a 20.
No, he didn't even know it was a 20.
Right.
There's no way I can put my hand back in and be like, I actually put the wrong amount in there.
I'm going to put more.
I'm going to put something in there, but I noticed that.
I would 100% would have reached my hand right in that tip, Joe.
I would have taken extra money along with it.
And then replace it.
I wouldn't have even.
Walt, I wouldn't have have even felt embarrassed.
I would have been like, oh, I said I put a, I would have been, I would have been in a joke.
I'd have been like, I put a 20.
You guys aren't that good.
And then maybe I would have put like a 5 in just to show that I'm a sport.
But there's no way I'm walking out of there with the $20 in that tip jar for a fucking pizza slice.
No way.
Well, so I'm sitting there,
the realization of what just happened, and my,
you know, I'm kind of like frozen in time right there as everything else, like everybody else is just frozen.
And I can hear him talking, but I'm not even listening because I'm like,
how do I
gracefully?
How do I gracefully say, you know what, I put the wrong amount of money in there?
And then he goes, man, I'll see you tomorrow.
And
he's like, all right, man, see you tomorrow.
And I walked out and just left a 20 in here.
Oh, that sucks because you lost a 20 and you didn't even get credit for giving the 20.
So it's a fucking lose-lose.
What do you mean?
I'm definitely.
It was the only, it was the only dollar bill in there.
So
yeah, but if they don't look
and then three other people drop a dollar, and then suddenly a one of four.
So maybe next time I go in, I should have been like, how'd you like that 20, huh?
Or, or, look, I gave it a lot of thought, and the other day I accidentally dropped a 20.
I was just wondering if I could get some of it back.
Or I could be like, you know, I don't know if you noticed, I put a 20 in there the other day, so
that's probably the next month's worth of tips.
Just so you know, when I walk out of here,
don't expect anything else in there.
Or, or should I just let it go and just you know, just chalk it up to like make sure you pay attention to what you're doing when you're dropping money in a
jokes in here.
I think you had a brief window to correct this situation and you let it close, so you just got to live with it now.
Yeah, I froze, man.
It was like one of those moments: like, what are you going to do
when the shit hits the fan?
I fucking froze froze like a deer in the headlights.
If, like, let's say, let's say I want to give a dollar or two, I'll reach into the tip jar and make change for myself.
Like, at Starbucks or something?
Like, let's say there's the thing.
You do not have any fucking authority to stick your hand in their jar.
Oh, yes, I do.
No way.
You're going to give them $2.
But you shouldn't.
Yeah, that's just leading.
That's just setting yourself up for disaster, though, for someone to be like.
You're like stealing money.
Yes.
The accusations fly.
Yeah, that is really.
You're playing with fire.
Like, you're sticking your hand in their tip jar.
So far, so good.
Yeah, but you could be, you don't know if you're skilled with your hands and you could be like pocketing money as you take out.
Oh, yeah.
He's a shim sham man.
You're like a magician.
Oh, that's true.
Yeah, like I fold it.
I mean, they don't know.
I mean, they don't know your hands shake like a fucking
tree limb in the wind.
Look how nervous he is stealing our money.
Hey, guys, I'm just leaving the tip.
He's dishonest and weak.
You think you're Mandrake the magician?
They'll never know.
Watch as I make your tips disappear.
Abra cadabra.
Wait, put it back.
All right, all right.
I was just kidding.
Have we got any more spots?
That's it.
Tell him, Steve.
I got tears coming out of my fucking eyes.
Man, Drink.
Holy shit.
Oh, God.
