#476: Devil Shoes

I'm like, this is like the fucking Muppet plane back here.

Like, this is insane.

She's earned it.

I don't care how many bottles these motherfuckers break over their heads.

I know people were like, well, why didn't you like it?

There was a podcaster in it.

And I'm just like, hey, fuck it.

Who said that?

Who said that, Ming?

Tell him, Steve, Dave.

Hello, and welcome to this week's edition of Tell'em Steve Dave.

I'm here with Walt, my good friend Walt, and my good friend BQ.

What's up, boys?

Hey, guys.

Hello, hello.

How was your spring break, Walt?

Spring break, y'all.

It was uneventful.

I went to a zoo down in Cape May.

Yeah.

Oh, you've been there before.

Yeah, I've been there plenty of times, you know, but

didn't want to go out of state and do something

where we would have to quarantine, so he wanted to stay in New Jersey, so he went to a zoo.

Are people still quarantining?

Yeah, I think so.

Check out Canada.

They're going like even more into more hardcore

lockdowns and

quarantines.

They were getting hit with like a third wave of

the mutant virus.

Jesus.

I posted a picture for my spring break and hysterically labeled it as being in Miami Beach, which people took seriously because I would never go to Miami Beach with what's going on down there.

Why, what's going on?

Well, it's like every like the spring breakers are tearing the entire city up, like fighting and destroying stuff and twerking in the middle of the street and stopping traffic and gunplay.

I've seen some interesting videos coming out of there.

Oh, yeah.

So, so that's that a super spreader situation, you think?

Well, I hope so down there

could Could thin the herd a little bit.

It'll be all right.

We got friends down there, though, Q.

We got loved ones down there.

Yeah, we got Tom Mum.

We got Tim Hill.

Are they in Miami Petro?

I don't know.

They're in Florida.

Florida's pretty big, though, right?

Some new definition of loved ones that I'm not aware of.

Only two guys that I think, you know, those are pretty good guys.

I like Tom Mum.

I think he's great.

I love everybody now, Q.

Everybody's going to get a new love from me.

I've been

rethinking things.

I'm going to be more open with my affection.

Really?

Yeah.

Which is to say, to be affectionate at all.

What's going on?

What brought this on?

Just, you know, just some things that have happened

have

made me realize we're only here for a limited amount of time.

So, you know, we might as well just say what's really on our mind.

Good-wise, not bad-wise.

There's no bad things that I'm holding in but i'm i'm a little bit i don't know if i believe that

yeah that's that's bullshit too but

honesty isn't coming with this

but i'm trying to like to like all let all those negative feelings dissipate and just be filled with love

and affection are you smoking kevin's weed like did you take any of kevin's weed no no no no just you know just you know i just saw some things recently that make me go

you know you might as well just let people know how you feel about them before, you know, before you

take that final exit out of here and you don't get the chance to say how you feel.

Because then you leave them wondering.

Yeah, you leave them wondering, right?

Which is shitty, too.

And then some people you don't have to tell, though.

Some people just know.

Like, even though I'm sure for your family, it would be nice for your daughter to hear like, oh, I love you.

And the way I used to tell your wife, I love you.

If you didn't say it that day, they wouldn't have been left forever wondering, but they would be like, wow, the last thing he said to me wasn't, I got to go over to that jerk off house and do a podcast right now

was my phone on

i'm sure i'm sure you've you've been in this position right q where you uh i i know you have when you were you were not feeling too well and you were things were going on i remember calling you one night

and i didn't know how to even tell you because i was so like nervous i I didn't want to call you and tell you, but I because we had been planning that we were all going to go on a cruise, the Joker's cruise.

And I remember calling you and being like, I'm backing out of it.

And I didn't know how you were going to be.

If you were going to be mad at me, and I couldn't believe it.

You were just like, you could care less.

You were like, dude, it doesn't matter.

Like, everything is good in my life.

Like, you know, because you got a clean bill of health and you were reborn almost.

And

you had love.

And like, you know, like all you need is love attitude in your heart.

Yeah.

I still, well, I would have reacted that way no matter what I was going through at the time.

If you didn't go, I would never want you to go.

That's one.

But

I do still feel since I got that sick and that scared that

I'm different.

You could still say to yourself, like, you still feel the effects of that, and the ramifications are still

alter how you handle things now as before, you know, post or pre

diagnosis.

Yeah, without a doubt.

Without a doubt.

It's all almost like kind of what you're saying.

It's like all in a good, I think about, like, do you remember like we talked about that comic book, Faith, with that, which

fat girl who's a superhero?

Oh, my God.

Yeah, she was a value hero.

Yeah.

Yeah.

And we kind of ripped into it a little bit.

And I was like, how is this promoting, you know, like, well, like, come on, now we got to pretend this is healthy, blah, blah, blah.

And I, and I, after, like, I regret

it's one of those things that I'm like, why would I say that?

Like, what if somebody listening to the show really liked faith and like I'm ripping on it for no other reason than the character's fat?

I'm like, why would I do that?

It's like, I was like, I'm like, I, I, I, so, like, I, I find myself thinking things like that more, you know what I mean?

Where it's just like, so you're less you just want to put, you just want to put good out in the world.

You're less inclined.

a while.

Like, I'm, I, I, I know I don't want to shit on things anymore.

Or if I do, it's got to be in a way that's lovingly shitting on it.

So we're not going to talk about Godzilla versus Ken Kong today, guys.

No, we can't.

Because I would love to shit on it.

Wait,

could I just remind everyone that the four-colored demons beer came out over the spring break, and it's been getting some very positive

reaction.

People have been ordering it, so I wanted to thank everybody who did that.

So, because we could call the launch a success, and the demons that I've talked to online or exchanged emails with seem very prideful that we have our own beer, it's like kind of cool, it's turning into what I wanted it to be, which is nice.

I was talking to Tommy Lincoln about the four-color demons last week, and it occurred to me that we may be the most

powerful motorcycle club in not only the country, but the world.

When you consider membership,

powerful in a way.

In a way, we have more members.

But on numbers.

Yeah, just sheer numbers.

But isn't that what it's all about, man?

Sheer numbers.

Like, I think Hell's Angels has like 2,500 members in the country.

Look, bless all the four colored, but it's a motorcycle club based on

comic books.

So yeah, I don't know if, I don't know if we want to go into a fighting situation.

You know, we definitely got some crazy fuckers.

Those guys in Manchester, like, they'll break a bottle over their fucking head and go at you, those four-colored demons.

But, like, I, you know, the crew that meets us in LA, I don't know if,

you know, are they going to,

you know what I'm saying?

Like, not everybody's a fighter.

Right.

Am I making sense?

It goes along with the kinder, gentler approach, too.

There's enough room for everybody.

Four colored demons on health.

Everybody.

Oh, okay.

I got you.

Yeah.

Yeah, yeah.

Let's be about.

In fact, with the four-colored demons, I wanted to.

We got to talk about this, but is there a Reddit board specifically for?

I think we need to start building a government within.

I think we need branches and presidents.

I think we got to get a little more formal.

Government always makes things better.

Go on.

No, no, no, no, no.

Loosey-goosey, man.

Loosey-goosey.

You know what I mean?

You need an East Coast chapter.

You need a Middle America chapter and a Midwest chapter and a West Coast chapter.

Because we need, and a UK, because we need people invested in getting together.

You know what I mean?

Like, not for any other thing than just like, hey, if you live in Michigan, we're having a get-together in Michigan.

But I want there to be a formal rally.

I want there to be like a formal structure.

So we need to start putting people in charge of,

what do they call them?

Branches?

What is the

term for like?

You mean if you're talking government, yeah, branches.

But if you're talking government governments,

on sons of anarchy, yeah.

Are these paying positions or this just a volunteer thing?

I mean, do we get paid?

I guess we do.

I think it's a volunteer thing.

I would say it's a volunteer thing.

I mean, we could start doing dues, but we don't want to get into that.

You know what I'm saying?

We can set up something on

the website, on the Tellum Steve Dave website.

We can set up something that you're looking for.

Yeah, I think we have to.

I think we should.

I think it'll help everybody.

You You know what I mean?

I think it'll just be like everybody will, we can't put rockers on.

Let's be clear about that.

You can't put foot.

We're not that powerful.

Yeah, let's not do that.

But like, I think that it would be best if like we had, what are they called

in motorcycle clubs?

It would just be chapters.

Like the sun.

Oh, chapters, chapters.

That's it.

Yeah, chapter.

We need to start establishing, I think, some chapters, I think.

We got the numbers.

Yeah, so

I don't know how we're going to go about doing it, but I think at least the wheels are turning.

You know, if people have suggestions, I'm sure there's some people that we're going to know should be chapter presidents off the bat.

The curator.

You know?

Yeah.

I think he's in

the southern part of the country, so maybe he can get the

southeast.

And then, yeah, and then we, you know, there's plenty of like old school ants that I'm sure would want to take on this, you know, especially if you're putting out out the rally cry.

Overseas, you got TSD Groupie, I mean, female head of the chapter.

Oh, that's going to be, but that's again, those Manchester guys are fucking crazy.

Uh, you might want them at your, oh, yeah, but you know what?

We need it.

We can't not have a female head of chapter.

You're right about that.

I think she's from Spain.

So,

Spain?

I think so, I'm pretty sure.

All right, she's getting it right in, but there's going to be some grumblings about that.

There's going to be grumblings.

She's earned it.

I don't care how many bottles these motherfuckers break over their heads.

Well, they could be her lieutenants then.

Yeah, definitely.

Some of us didn't get treated too well.

I actually ended up going to Vernon over spring break.

It's just a place, a hotel that we go up to.

They have a pool, and that's all the sage cares about is going swimming.

But one of us went away and got treated a little shabbily,

if I recall.

Poor Britain.

I forgot about this.

I haven't heard this story yet.

Oh, it's not that.

You know what?

When I I was texting you about it, dude, I was in the thick of it, so I might have fucking been a little bit angrier than I am now.

But yeah, I had to take a flight and

go to

no, no, a four-hour flight.

And

so now at the airport, they're like, look, you got to go on that line over there.

And I'm like, all right, that line is crazy, though.

I was like, in the flight, like, I'm here an hour and 15 minutes before the flight, which is pretty fucking good for me.

Sometimes I'll show up 45 minutes.

Wait on the line, get there.

The person I'm with

gets up to it.

He puts his card in, and they say the flight's closed.

You can't get on the flight anymore.

And so he turns to the woman, this little squat, fucking brown-haired monster of a woman that works at the fucking United thing.

And he goes, my flight, he was going on a different flight.

He was like, my flight, it just locked me out.

She's like, oh, that's because it's...

The flight leaves less than an hour from now, and you have to be here before an hour.

I could do it.

Tap to tap, checks it in.

Boom.

I go, great.

I was like, look, here's the thing.

I go, I'm with him.

I was like, he's my buddy.

I'm like, and I know you just did it for him, but mine's locked out.

So could you do it for me too?

And she's like, well, how long have you been here?

And I was like, well, I got to the airport about an hour and a half.

She's like, you haven't been here an hour and a half.

And I was like,

yeah.

She goes, there's nothing I can do for you.

You got to rebook.

And I go, I go, what do you mean you got to rebook?

I was like, I mean, go, I go, you mean go a different day?

She's like, yeah, you can't.

You're not going out today.

And I was like, but you just did it for him.

I was like, I just watched you do it.

And she just walked away in the middle of it.

Now,

what am I to do in this situation?

Like, let's just pause it at this point.

Like, what am I to do so far in this situation?

So this is like right as you're about to board.

It's that agent at the.

No, it's the check-in.

It's before security.

Oh, it's even before security.

It's check-in, yeah.

They wouldn't let me check in on the app, which is normally how I do it, but for whatever reason, it wouldn't let me do it here.

So, anyway, were you

being honest, though, were you there an hour and a half before, or was that just bullshit?

Completely honest.

Could you have

to pull the CCT footage of

having you come into the parking lot?

But it wasn't even worth it because, like, I was still an hour before the flight, so I had been there for a half hour.

But it didn't matter.

Like, I just saw her do it for my buddy.

Like,

are you able to tell who this buddy is?

Was he somebody with a name or is it?

He's someone of note.

Oh,

is it somebody that she recognized?

No, not at all.

And if she recognized him,

she would have recognized me.

Trust me.

We kind of worked together.

So it was like, it wasn't that.

So I'm like, well,

so, all right, so that was how she left it.

She just walked away mid-sentence.

By the way, I was being super fucking polite.

I was in the honey phase of all this.

You know what I mean?

And she just fucking turns and walks away and does a little fucking county flip of her keys when she's doing it too.

Like, whoop, fuck this guy, and walked away like a mid-sentence.

That's the power man.

I looked at her.

That's to let you know she's got keys and she's got power.

The more keys she has, the more powerful she is.

She's got no keys.

I turned to the guy, like the guy who works there,

who's just, he's like the baggage handler.

And I turn to him, I go, but you saw she just did it for him.

And he goes, I just do bags.

He goes to me.

I'm like, all right, he just does bags.

So what, I mean, what, what's the move here?

Like, like, do I flip out?

Can you throw money out?

Talk to your manager.

Can't throw money at this situation.

So I go downstairs to the rebooking counter and I say to the woman down there, I'm like, I was like,

she's telling me I got to go on this flight.

I'm not flying out today.

I'm like, the flight leaves.

I go, I have clear.

I can be through security in 10 seconds.

I'm not even checking a bag.

I was was like, is there any way you could still put me on the flight?

I know it's possible because she just fucking did it for

my buddy.

And

she goes, let me check.

She goes, okay, I can put you on the flight.

She goes, she goes, that's no problem.

I can do that right away.

And I'm like, great.

She goes, but

she's like, yeah, they gave away your business class seat.

So you got to sit like in the last row of the plane

in between people.

And I'm like,

do you get a partial refund?

Well, that was what she said.

She's like, yeah, she goes, you can get a refund.

You got to call when you get there and let them know what happened.

But like, I'm going to be.

But you're $45 back.

I'm like, what the fuck?

I'm like, what?

So now, so now I'm even double.

Like, this is why I was really angry when I was texting you because that means that that woman, like, it was, not only did I see her do it for my buddy, she could have done it for me, didn't do it for for me, and was like, Go fuck yourself.

And meanwhile, like, not for nothing, but like, I'm a platinum member in this fucking airline, man.

Like, I fly these motherfuckers every day.

I'm like, this is crazy.

So, so when I was texting you, I was like, it was like, because the other thing is, like, well, I can complain.

I could fucking write a nasty letter.

You know how I can do that?

I can complain.

I can go on Twitter.

I'm like, but and then, Walt, this is maybe what you're talking about, but I'm like, you know what, Brian?

You, because I was so fucking angry.

I was like, she's working in an airport in a pandemic.

It was packed.

She's probably getting complaints all fucking day.

I'm on my way somewhere.

Kind of nice.

You know what I mean?

Like, she's stuck in the airport.

I was like,

let me just let this one go.

I was like, let me let it go.

And you did.

I was able to calm down and get past it and just move on.

I mean, the flight fucking sucked.

It couldn't have been any worse.

It was like, I would have thought Indiana Jones and some chickens were going to fucking run by.

And like, nobody wears masks.

Everybody's a fucking asshole.

Who's fucking playing music and black?

Who's screaming at each other across the aisle?

I'm like, this is like the fucking Muppet plane back here.

This is insane.

Did anybody recognize you back there?

No, I had the sunglasses and the mask and everything like that.

So I was able to get away with it.

But then, but then, all right, so, so, so that was my attitude.

But then

United sent me an email

that was a form email that said,

would you take a quick survey about

your latest flight?

About

the flight that you had just taken.

And

I got to be honest, Walt, I looked at them and I said, well, they're asking.

So

I gave five out of five stars for everything except for the check-in process.

And when they asked why,

I was like, this is exactly what happened.

And the only reason I'm saying it is not to get the first woman in trouble, but because that second woman was such a fucking angel to me and did it for me.

And like the only reason that I was even considering flying with your airline again is because of that second woman.

And I took her name down and put it in the thing.

So I still did kind of rat out the first one, but I kind of hit it in,

you know, the.

But you didn't go nuclear, though.

I didn't go nuclear.

And that's what's really key here.

And that's what should be applauded and recognized.

And you should be, you know.

You should remain civil.

Because I had something like this happen, too.

I wasn't even going to mention it because I didn't even think about it.

But when I went to the the zoo, I went with my mother-in-law who is in a,

she's kind of like, she needs to be pushed around in a wheelchair, not because she can't walk, but because, you know, she's older and a zoo really takes a lot out of you, all the walking and everything.

So she came with her son, my brother-in-law.

And so when they got there, before they got there, I told my wife, I was like, I saw at the gift shop before you entered the zoo, you can buy like a motorized scooter.

You can rent it.

And I was like, I'm renting that scooter, I said, because, you know,

it's going to be so much better.

It's just going to make this afternoon so much more enjoyable.

She'll be able to keep up.

No, we'll have to push her, you know, because we've gone away other times.

And like, you're, you know, you're, by the time you're done pushing around, you're like, you feel like you had to work out.

You look like, you know, like Conan on the fucking wheel of death and shit.

And

that music playing going, ooh.

So I got it.

And when they got there, like, well, what are we going to do with her regular wheelchair now that you rented this one?

I was like, well, ask the ladies

motorized scooters if we can just let it live there until we get back.

So, and they're like, Perfectly, yeah, sure, bring it on in, we'll put it back here, and everything will be cool.

We do the zoo, everything's awesome.

People are like, Oh my god, what a great idea!

You're the best.

Oh man, what a great son-in-law.

How much was this?

I was like,

30 bucks.

That's all it was: 30 bucks for 30 bucks.

I was like, Can you imagine?

Like, we just never even inquired because we're like, It's going to be 300 because we were just so sure that it would be so out of touch that we didn't, we never even asked about it 30 bucks for the for a half a day

but when we got back to get the wheelchair it was gone

and then everybody was like well how's mom gonna get to the restaurant now walt

well big man with big money

And I was like, what do you mean it's gone?

It's not gone.

So I go back and my wife comes out and she's like, it's not there.

They don't know where it is.

And I go back and I talk to the ladies again, just like you,

not losing it.

I'm just like, yeah, I mean, just wondering where that wheelchair is.

And they're like,

and you can see on their face, their faces are fucking, there's like nerve.

We're about to buy somebody a wheelchair.

Nerve wracked because they're just like, their faces went white.

And as they realize, like, oh, yeah, I did see your wife bring that wheelchair back there.

And oh, yeah, it's gone.

And we have no idea where it is.

Wow.

And I was just like, you know what?

I was like, I turned to,

we call

the mother-in-law Ga, because that's what the kids called her.

I was like, Ga, you were due for an upgrade anyway.

I'm just going to go buy you a motorized scooter.

It's okay.

Don't worry about it.

I was like, happy Easter.

I go, but I'm not going to worry about this.

I'm not going to shed a single

brain cell about like, you know, trying to find out who did it.

And my other, my daughters are like, let's go through the zoo.

Let's go find MFers who took that fucking wheelchair.

We'll knock them out.

And I'm like, I'm like,

if they took a wheelchair, they needed it.

I said, calm down.

We should make your daughters fucking president of the Fortune Youth Chapter.

They're ready to break bottles over their heads.

Yeah.

They're so angry.

My wife was ready to go nuclear too.

And I'm like,

it's not going to bring the wheelchair back.

These ladies obviously don't.

They're like 65-year-old ladies who probably are volunteers at the zoo.

And the wheelchair get out from under under them they don't know where it is what are you gonna do

what are you gonna do there's nothing you can do it would be a head scratcher though it's like who who like wouldn't you have to get there in a wheelchair if you needed one in order to ride away in one like

well they theorized they said that somebody or like after we took the wheel we got the last motorized scooter Apparently, they told us.

So after we had gone into the park, there was another party they said that showed up and wanted to rent a motorized scooter and there weren't any.

And they became very belligerent.

They became very angry.

And they theorized that they walked into the

shed and just took a wheelchair, even though it wasn't motorized because they needed one.

Threw it into the apex.

And then I turned to my wife and I said, They said that the guy went crazy, that the guy was going ballistic.

And I said, you know what?

Maybe a prize here.

I said,

You needed me.

I would have been right there with your daughter.

It's being like, right?

No, no, I meant like that.

You went into the fucking wheelchair today.

And you were in the park right now.

So you went and got her a scooter that you can keep all the time.

Well, we haven't gotten it yet, but we're definitely in the process of picking out the perfect motorized scooter.

But, you know, we just made do.

Like I said, she doesn't need one to do normal things, just like strenuous, like zoo coverage.

You need one.

But we made do.

Everything was cool.

You know, it was still Easter.

We weren't going to let that ruin it.

You know, Jesus fucking didn't rise just so we can go ape shit, the finding is because

freaking wheelchairs missing.

He's like, it took me three days to move that fucking boulder.

And you're complaining about a wheelchair.

Right?

I mean, I'm a feeling of that.

So, did you

did you, as of yet, buy the new wheelchair?

What's that?

We got, well, we had another wheelchair.

Like, that's not motorized, but I am, like, I said, I'm in for the wheelchair.

Pick the one out that you want.

But now, apparently, you know, you got to get the most perfect one, but that's cool.

But, you know, it hasn't gotten here yet, though

but she doesn't need it yet now anyway until we go somewhere where a wheelchair like a motorized wheelchair is needed and and really it's a it's a dual purchase it's also for you because you've told tales of having to push that shit around all day yeah but i think you know like i said i think that the way i handled it was um i was i was happy with myself because i think everybody was everybody i think would have went with

easily would have went to the other extreme because everybody was ready to my whole party was ready to go you fucking old cunts

We'll fucking kill you.

That was God's wheelchair.

I saved those two old eggly women at the park from a horrific beating by the flannel gets in the grasses.

They were ready to curb stomp these women because

the wheelchair was gone.

But, you know, cooler heads prevailed and Easter was, it turned out to be pretty darn sweet.

I like that, though.

I like that they're that loyal.

They take it that personally.

That it's like, it wasn't a wheelchair.

It was our grandmother's wheelchair.

That's what the girls were saying.

It was like, who would take our grandmother's wheelchair?

They deserve to be prosecuted with

all sorts of crazy, crazy-ass, like,

statements being made that, like, jail time was a need of this.

Oh, I love the fire, though, man.

Yeah, really.

Yeah, and now they maintain that it's just me losing my testosterone on the ride home, that

I'm turning into an old woman

instead of a fire maid.

But, you know, I maintain, no, man, that's just maturity.

That's just that's just like a guy realizing, no, there's bigger and better things to get angry over.

Submission.

Fuck it.

Just fuck it all.

I mean, even I, even I, who, who blows up at the slightest provocation, have lately felt like it's just fuck it.

It's just not worth it.

I just don't want to argue over every little fucking thing.

And like I go out with almost an expectation that like, okay, if I go out to a restaurant, it's more likely than not that somebody's going to fuck something up and then you're not let down, you know?

But

so speaking of letdown, what?

I was going to say speaking of letdowns,

talk a little bit about it.

Did you guys both see it?

Yeah.

Did you guys see it on the HBO Max or did you go to see it in a theater?

No, no, I wouldn't go to a theater yet.

I saw it on the HB Max.

Okay, I went to a theater.

Oh, you went to a big screen.

Yeah, I went to see it on the big screen.

I definitely was like, you know, I've been waiting for this movie.

Like, if, like, since

they mentioned that it was going to happen, that they announced that there would be, that would be the big, you know, build-up.

This whole franchise was leading towards Kong versus Godzilla.

I have maintained that, like, I would sacrifice not seeing any Star Wars movie in that time since that announcement or Marvel Cinematic Universe movie.

If it meant that I couldn't see Kong versus Godzilla.

That was the movie.

That was my jam.

That was all I was living for for the last couple of years.

Was like, you know, please, God,

let me be on it.

Let me make it to see this.

You know, I mean, you've blessed me with

seeing like three Stanley Cups.

I got to see the Devils win one, and I always didn't think I would.

I got to see Tom Brady rule the world.

I got to, now I got to see, I made it finally.

You know, I made it long enough to see the remake of King Kong versus Godzilla.

And you made it that far just to be like,

fuck.

Yeah, I was not too pleased with it.

When are they going to drop the evil corporation angle?

Never.

That's it?

Never.

Because there wasn't any government in it.

It's not like there was any government interaction because usually it's government, military-type shit, or evil corporation-type shit.

But you know what?

But at least there are evil corporations still in this world, though.

Amazon?

Yeah.

You know, they can piss in some bottles and shit.

I called that shit.

Is Amazon evil?

Remember, I said that like during that Burrow commercial?

I I was like, you know, Bezos is going to go down in the same fucking, you know, it's going to be like...

I believe you said Hitler.

Hitler, Mussolini, and Bezos.

If you think Bezos is going down, you have no idea how the world works.

No, I'm talking about going down in history as evil.

Evil leaders.

Oh.

Not going down.

He's got too much money to be brought down.

Yeah, but he's not going down as evil.

Oh, he's a game changer.

The book hasn't been written yet, bro.

We're only seeing a tip of the iceberg of all this evil shit that Amazon's doing.

Yeah, but he still changed the game.

I mean, Amazon also does a lot of good, man.

I mean, a lot of good.

Okay, what?

It's not like they just, what?

I mean, you know, I order something and it's taken out for the wrong later.

What do you mean?

It's got to be more

just good.

Like, they're destroying the ozone layer by getting that shit to you that quick.

Well, that's a whole different different discussion, man.

I don't know what to tell you, but so am I by driving to work.

So, what am I going to do?

Fuck a point in Amazon?

Like,

but there's more people on the road.

There's more cars on the road

just by the fact that there's so many things that have to be somewhere overnight, though.

But the type of things don't even have to be.

Yeah, they don't have to be overnight.

This is needless and pointless.

Dude, they wanted to do drones, and everybody fucking laughed at them.

So now choke on it.

All right?

Well, let them fly their fucking drone on the fumes of their cars.

You deserve it.

For not letting them do the drones.

They couldn't do drones.

That was completely.

I could have had an HEMI cord flown to my house in 20 minutes.

But no.

Now I got to wait a full 24 hours.

But the very fact that Americans believed that they were going to put drones in the air all over the country and it was going to work out was completely fucking crazy that America bought into it.

And people were telling me that, like, oh, it's going to happen.

And I was like, you're insane.

You are a fucking, you might as well believe in Tinkerbell if you believe that fucking Tinkerbell will deliver that HDMI cable before a fucking drone does.

Because you know how much damage a drone could do overhead as you have like a million drones and a million HDMI cables floating above us as we live our lives?

People throwing rocks at them and fucking around and shooting them out of the sky.

I mean,

all right, so is Amazon?

So then it sounds like people are the the real villains here, not Amazon.

Well, they're definitely a part of it.

Like, there are many times where I'll order something from Amazon, and it'll be, you know, it'll be not an HDMI cable, but an HDMI cable.

And by the next morning, I'm like, it's here.

And not only is it here, but it's in a box so fucking big that I could have fit 30 HDMI cables in it.

Yeah.

This shit is, this shit is going to fucking go south.

I guarantee it.

Right now, it's just people are now or the murmurs are starting.

But the

Bezos in in effigy burning will happen at some point

really wow

because this dude is fucking he's all talk too he's a what is he like a multi-billionaire and he and he can't fucking get that he can't get those wages up for his workers he's a multi-centibillionaire he has like 200 billion he's the same as everybody else but everybody treats him like as if he's like this progressive god or whatever he's not he's a fucking greedy fucking businessman well did you see see the back and forth on Twitter?

With

like people were like, you know, those stories came out where it's like, oh, they have to piss in bottles and stuff.

And in a rare move, I guess Bezos was telling them, tweet this, tweet that.

Oh, now, did that, now, is that confirmed that Bezos himself was like, I want you to write this?

I think it came from his camp because I read that the IT person at Amazon

put a stop in place because they're like, I don't, what is, I think we got hacked.

Like, nobody would write this shit.

But I mean, the way it was going after governor, government and shit, they think that Bezos was saying, here, write this, like since it, you know, it came from up top.

Why?

Why did he do that?

I don't know, because then it turned out they admitted it.

They're like, yeah, they do piss in bottles.

But why would he do that?

Knowing that, like, it could be exposed so easily, though, that it wouldn't.

They didn't give a fuck because he has the money.

That's what I'm saying.

He doesn't give a fuck about anything.

He's too fucking powerful.

He's Lex Luther, bro.

But I like that.

I like that somebody is that powerful and tells the government to go fuck themselves.

Like, because nobody else can do it.

We can't.

We can't tell the government to go fuck themselves.

But somebody with that kind of thing.

Yeah, we can, and then we end up in fucking jail.

No, we won't.

That's bullshit, too.

Anybody can say fuck the government.

We're saying it right now.

That's true.

You can say it, but in terms of making any, I mean, I guess he can try to bend them to his will.

Oh,

I'm sure he's going to try.

I mean, he probably will.

With that much power and that much money, and that many fucking greedy senators and congressmen and crooked,

corrupt corruption, rampant.

I mean, I'm sure he'll buy his way out of anything that's coming his way, but he'll get his.

Eventually.

And I want to be remembered.

I want everybody to remember I called it way back when.

Okay.

On your tombstone.

Fuck Bezos.

You said it first.

Yeah.

I got to be honest, man.

I was mostly fucking around.

I don't really have a strong opinion on Bezos, but knowing that you do

is swaying me.

Maybe he is a piece of shit.

Maybe I don't need that HGMI cord within 24 hours.

But back to Khan Godzilla.

What did you think, you?

Oh, man.

Look,

I would like to say that even the fights, just the fights were cool, right?

But I didn't like that they chose a city made of neon.

It looked like a video game.

Whereas if, like, if it was...

like Chicago or New York or something, you know what I mean?

Like where it looked like real buildings.

It looked like the interior of a casino.

Yeah, it just didn't look real.

Even if that is how the city is, I don't think it was a good choice for the fight.

Although now I'm told it's because of the Asian market.

That's why they did it to make money over there.

But I was like, but visually, it doesn't look good.

And then I'm just like,

Does Kung need a backstory?

Like, do I need him talking to a child?

I'm like, what the fuck is going on?

I was like,

why am I watching him in a cave?

And then I was like,

does he even axe?

I'm like, what the fuck is going on?

I didn't get it.

I mean, they looked amazing, but I just didn't understand any of the choices.

And then Mecha Godzilla,

I was like, wait, who made him?

And then I was like, okay,

I'm not following who made him.

I know it's that corporation, but why is the skull that like...

Couldn't they make Mecha Godzilla out of the skull?

I was like, there are cooler ways to do every fucking thing that

they did.

I was like,

I agree with everything you're saying, man.

It was one of those movies.

I remember walking, I went to see it at the mall, and we were just killing some time before, and I told my wife, I don't know if I can ever say I've been more excited to see a movie than I am right now, I said, because I just got a feeling this is going to be awesome.

I heard some really good things beforehand.

Like, the buzz was that it was like, it was an amazing movie.

And if you just like Monsters Fighting, you're going to love this.

And so i was i was all in man i i i was hyped and um

i just could not believe what i was seeing like right off the bat like i like you would think i know people were like well why didn't you like it there was a podcaster in it and i'm just like are you funny who said that

who said that ming

well how would that matter exactly because i'm like no man i i'm just like

I cannot stand.

I mean, this is not new.

This is not some new wrinkle that listeners are not going to be like, I I can't believe that he doesn't like kids in movies.

I have been on the record since Telm Steve Dave episode one.

I cannot stand the trope of children saving the day.

So when I see something on that level,

especially with that kind of the balls for the filmmakers to fucking make it that they're going to pour wine

on a computer and that's going to save the day.

I told told Giddam, I was like, I've never been more visibly angry at a movie in my life where I was trembling in my seat, going like, I was like, I, and I never felt that way before, because I always look at like these people online who take it so seriously, and I'm like, fucking grow some nuts, you fucking nerd.

You know, like, oh, I remember, I was, I was that upset about Han Solo, and you made fun of me.

I owe you a big apology because I really like behind your back and I fucking tore you apart.

I can vouch for that.

Thank you, Walter.

Thank you, Brian, for allowing it.

I am so sorry because that was your jam.

You loved this Star Wars.

And I had fallen out of love with Star Wars so long ago that I couldn't see why you were so upset.

I couldn't figure it out.

But I was so, so visibly

devastated.

walking out of that theater that, you know, I don't know if I'll ever recover.

I think I'm totally, totally like

done with films.

No more franchises.

Well, you'll never get your hopes up again for sure.

No, no, I'm done.

Oh, you're never gonna go watch them.

I'm out, I'm out.

No, no, I'm saying, like, I'll never care about any franchise.

Marvel, Star Wars, Godzilla, it's over.

Like, that part of my life is done.

Close the book.

It's finite,

closed, done.

They ruined it.

I can say that I remember as early as if Jurassic Park came out in 94, I believe.

I remember that's the first time I can recall you being enraged at the fucking kids.

Like, I hate it.

I hate the fucking, the whole kid thing.

And in this, I was like, I just can't believe that after decades and decades, they're still doing the same shit with the goofy black guy podcaster, the two fucking kids, and somehow this fucking evil corporation has the most lax security of all time.

Crazy.

Yeah, like they're just walking around in these like

upper high-level security areas until they do.

They get to pour a little bit of wine on a keyboard and they're like,

hooray.

I tell you, man, like, I know we talked about it in 2014, but if I had a time machine and I went back to talk to my 2014 self after I saw Godzilla and me and Sunday Jeff were jerking each other off in the theater, like how lost, how happy we were.

We were giving each other happy endings.

Your wife's like, I never should have come.

Should we just let you guys go?

She's like, why am I sitting in the middle?

And if I had gone back and I stopped myself as we were leaving the theater and I'd be like, bro, come over here for a second.

So

in the finale, not only is Kong going to find a hollow Earth, but two kids are going to save it, the world.

There's going to be flying machines that can fly through the center of the earth, defy gravity, and all this other bullshit

that will ruin it and will make Toho, Toho's Godzilla franchise

look like fucking

Schidler's list in terms of how serious and somber it fucking was.

This American version, I would have spit in my older self's eye.

I would have been, I would have beat the shit out of myself for talking trash about the 2014 Godzilla.

Me and Sunday Jeff, 2014 version of ourselves, would have beat the fucking shit out of 2020 version of myself.

Did Sunday Jeff see it?

He didn't see it yet.

No, he doesn't see it yet.

But like, it's weird how the American franchise followed the same paths as the Toho version.

They start off making basically a disaster movie, not a monster movie, in the 2014 one, which is what Toho did.

Made this phenomenal, dark, sinister disaster movie in which a

radioactive dinosaur destroys a city.

And whatever, whatever and if you don't die in the rubble, you're going to die from radiation poisoning because of this monster.

And there was no jokes, and there was no kid saving the day.

But as the Toho franchise evolved,

you know, it became a cartoon, you know, where the like kids were hired to play

real pivotal protagonistic roles where they had to have.

Well, even Godzilla had a kid at one point, right?

That little annoying thing.

But just like the Toho version, you know, when America in the 2014 one hired that girl from Stranger Things,

that was the beginning of the end because you just couldn't hire that girl to play a victim or to play, you know, somebody running from Godzilla.

She had to have a say in the outcome of shit.

And that was the beginning of the end because it's ridiculous.

No one could have an outcome on fucking hundred-foot-tall,

what, 100-ton animals going at it.

Everyone's just trying to get out of the way, and that's what you should have done from all three movies.

No, I mean, it's Millie Bobby Brown, though.

Don't you understand?

Is he related to Bobby Brown?

I don't think so.

I don't know why that.

No, it's a girl, first of all.

Millie Bobby Brown is the girl, not the boy.

No, if a podcaster is,

I can't remember his name.

Oh, it was so painful.

Did you see it, Brian?

Yeah, I watched it.

I didn't like it at all.

I didn't like the little girl

who was doing the sign language with Khan.

I could even live with that one.

I know they had to do it so that they could, there was a way to communicate between them.

I'm like, all right, that makes sense.

But I had many of the same problems you guys did.

And

a lot of it came down to just the corny podcaster and the kids.

I just couldn't stand it.

It was, like I said,

it just made me angry.

It made me aggressive.

It just

ruined me forever.

Wow.

I didn't have this strong of a reaction.

I thought the fight on the boat, the boats was cool.

You know, that was part of it.

I was like.

That was a throwback to the original, which I was like, okay, you know, people were snickering in the theater when Kong was

on the barge or when Kong was being airlifted by the helicopters, but those were homages to the original King Kong versus Godzilla, which I am.

That stuff I liked.

Yeah, I loved that shit, but like,

the fights on the boat and everything,

you know, it started out okay, but like you said, you know, getting an axe.

Yeah, what was that all about?

Is there anything in his lore ever that he had like an axe?

Oh, that had to be some sort of toy thing, toy tie-in, so you can have an accessory for Godzilla or something.

I mean, for King Kong.

It was terrible.

That was bad.

And I just felt, and I was happy to see King Kong because I do like Skull Island.

So then when we cut in on him now, and he was older, and he had the gray beard and the scars, I was like, oh, fuck, this is starting off really cool.

And then they're like, wait, he's in a dome?

I'm like, what the fuck's going on?

And then it was like,

it was like, what happened to Charles Dance in the last one?

I'm like, they had that ending

in King of All Monsters where they had King Ghidorah.

Ghidorah?

Yeah.

Is that his name?

Ghidorah.

His head.

I'm like, they have his head.

I was like, what do we get?

That's so cool with it.

And it's just like, now they just, it's just a skull that they're sitting in?

Like, I don't think it's like.

I think it has psychic powers or something, or it makes you more, if you're

in the same room with it, I think.

No,

I got it.

They were ripping off Pacific Rim with the drift and the helmet and shit like that.

But it's like, why?

Like, just, you have a corpse.

Build the...

Build the robot around the corpse.

It'll look so much creepier and cooler and like fucking weird that there's rotting like fucking guitar of meat on this robot.

I don't know, man.

I was like, they had an opportunity, I thought, that they didn't hit.

Mecha Godzilla, his look reminded me of like, you know, how they have those sculptures that people make out of like junk,

like those dinosaur sculptures.

That's kind of what it reminded me of.

Yeah, he didn't look all that great.

No, I didn't think so.

And it was kind of like anticlimactic when he came out and he was, and like they beat him rather easily with the help of some kids pouring some liquid in a computer screen.

I would be, but like, I swear, though, man, like, why?

The biggest mistake they made was hiring that girl, though, from Stranger Things.

It could all be traced back to them.

Yep, because they just couldn't make her, they couldn't, they couldn't dare not make her just somebody that runs from Godzilla and is questioning why the fuck this giant monster is constantly coming on to the land where she lives and just being terrified of it.

No, she had to be his fucking benefactor or whatever you want to call it, his protector.

Ridiculous.

Yeah.

You know what's funny is like, I could spill water on this keyboard right here and it wouldn't even stop this podcast.

I would be like, hold on, guys,

I got to get my other laptop and like turn it on.

It's crazy.

It's crazy.

And it's fucked because it's like, that's it.

Kind of like with signs, the M-Night movie.

They're like,

that movie, once he did it, it was done.

You're not going to do that movie again.

And with this, it's like, now Congress Godzilla is done, and they fucked it up.

There'll be another Congress Godzilla, but will I be around to see it?

That's the big question.

Far down the road.

You know, because

it's going to take decades for them to go back to it, but everything,

everything, I mean, it took how many decades for the original to be remade.

Yeah, do they have a do do they have an extra installment?

I mean, I think it made up quite a bit of money.

I think they would have to consider it a big success.

So I imagine

they're not going to not follow it up with something because why would you?

I mean, it did pretty well for

post-pandemic numbers, I would think.

Yeah.

Yeah, for sure.

So maybe they'll get it right next time.

Yeah, I mean, yeah, that's the new attitude that we should have.

Maybe they'll get it right next time.

Yeah.

That should be the new tell them Steve Dave motto.

Maybe they'll get it right next time.

I think it has been.

I have it for everybody.

I know you're going to be some of us not.

I thought you said, I was like, tell them, Steve, Dave, maybe we'll get it right next time.

We're on a roll.

We've been getting it right for quite a bit now.

We haven't had any majority.

Yeah, I think we've been all right.

Yeah.

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What do I want to say?

Oh,

all our parents are going to pass eventually.

Q, you got a phone call from your mom.

Your dad passed away.

Okay, how did it happen?

He was in an amateur taco eating contest and he choked to death.

My dad.

Your dad.

Amateur taco content.

I mean, I would assume.

I would be like, so he had dementia and you just didn't tell me and he wandered into a taco contest and started eating tacos.

There's just no fucking way my dad would ever do anything like that.

This isn't something he would do.

Somebody did do that.

And immediately, the same day that it happened,

the guy's son announced he was going to sue.

It's a 40-year-old guy.

How old's his son?

I think the son's like 20.

Yeah.

Son's like 20 or something.

But so this 40-year-old guy, I got this story here.

Family sues after California man dies in taco eating contest.

Okay, so the son is 18.

He alleges that his father, Daniel Dana Hutchins, 41, was not made aware of the risks and danger associated with the competition at a Fresno Grizzlies game.

I guess that's a minor league baseball team.

Yeah.

So the competition starts.

He begins choking and collapsed only minutes into the eating competition.

Was then taken to a hospital where his cause of death was choking.

Now,

legally,

should these people be held accountable?

Or by 41, should you have learned, if you stuff tacos into your mouth as fast as humanly possible in an effort to win a competition, there's a chance you may choke to death?

This is a tricky one.

This is a tricky one.

There's a lot of gray in this one, though.

There is a lot of gray.

You think so?

Because you know there's a lot of imbeciles out there that will get so caught up in it that they'll throw fucking caution to the wind and stuff more in their mouth than they've ever stuffed in their mouth before, all in the in the get they get caught up in it.

And you have to factor in the

negativity of the general public.

I mean, if this guy sues and gets anything,

I fear that eating contests of this sort will be a dinosaur because nobody will ever do this ever again,

because nobody wants to be on the hook if someone dies.

Right, it'll go like the way of like the we for a wee with the water drinking competition thing.

But I mean, what's more Americana than the old pie eating contest, right?

I mean, come on.

I don't know.

Well, I mean, it's that thing of like, we, we shouldn't do what the least of us can't do.

It's like, how is that a way to live life?

Like, so we all have to act as like the weakest chain in here?

Like, that makes no sense.

To me, if I was this kid, I'd be like, okay, eating contests have probably been around for centuries, and I've never heard of anybody dying before.

So, do I really want to highlight the fact that my dad was the guy that couldn't handle a fucking eating contest without dying?

I would be like, I think I just want this one to go away rather than cash in on it.

But if you got some hot shit lawyer, though, like, you know, calling you up and being like, hey, man, I can get you a couple million from that taco stand.

But to do it, we got to humiliate your father in his death?

I'd be like, I don't know.

Well, I mean,

you got two at this table that'd be like, oh, man.

Millions?

I'm going to start sending them flyers.

Hey, dad, you want to go to surf taco?

Just limber up a little.

Yeah, I thought that was,

I thought that was like, it's just a fucking, he'll win money.

He'll get money.

Well, maybe to make it go away, they might throw some money at it.

Yeah, he won't win money.

No, I don't think.

I don't think he'll win money.

I bet you the back of the ticket ticket to that baseball game fucking has takes a lot of rights away from the people in that stadium.

It's not negligent behavior, though, to like, you know, to

get together on the taco, on the baseball team's part to like

put people into a situation where they might die if they...

In lethal danger with tacos.

Or should they have had maybe some medical personnel standing by in case something like this happened?

Oh, I'm sure they did.

I'm sure they did.

They likely did.

I mean, how fucking

how much taco did you have to have in your mouth to choke to death on it, man?

Like, you have to imagine there were people there who would know the Heimlich or like personnel standing by.

Like you say, even though I don't know if the son was there, it doesn't say, but why wouldn't you then discourage your dad?

Be like, don't, you know, don't join the fucking.

I wish it said what the prize was.

It doesn't say what the prize was.

At a minor league baseball game, I can't imagine it was worth dying for a second.

Yeah, like season tickets.

Yeah, shot at him through.

But you know what?

You can't blame the son.

I mean, he just lost his dad in one of the fucking stupidest ways possible.

So he's angry, you know, he's in grief.

So I can't hold him accountable either, you know?

Yeah.

Is this new Q talking or is this?

Yeah, man.

I'm all good back here in coach, man.

I'm fine crammed in the middle between these two people.

Problem, baby.

Problem.

want to talk up real quickly.

Wait, go ahead, Q.

I said it wasn't bad back there.

It's not like I don't like it.

It's not like I'm like coach, ew,

but it was just the woman.

Like, I fly coach plenty of times.

Like, we need to catch flights and, like, you know, whatever's available is available.

But it's just the, it was just that woman took it from me.

And then when I stepped on the plane, I had to walk past the fucking knob that fucking sat in my seat, and I couldn't tell who it was, but I tried to.

No, the knob you were traveling with, was he still in business class?

He made business class, but he got, but they forgot to put TSA pre-check on his ticket, so he had to wait on the security line and then had to run full speed through the airport and just made the flight before they closed the

door.

I mean, I'm sure if he sat next to you, though, it would have been four hours worth of listening to that shit.

I can't fucking believe it.

I think everybody knows who it was.

It's not right.

And yeah, so, yeah, I don't know what it is.

Oh, yeah.

So it wasn't the fact that I was in coach that was bothering me.

It was that that woman fucking jabbed me like that.

Also that I was in coach.

Look,

I've flown both.

There's just no, there is no comparing sitting in business class or first class to sitting in the last row between two people you don't know.

Especially for a long flight, it makes it absolutely hellish.

Now, do they do do any food on planes anymore, Q, or they make you wear the mask the whole time?

They don't want food being eaten.

They give you...

I tell you what, the people up in First looked like they were having a fucking great time, but I can tell you where I was.

They dumped

a plastic bag,

a plastic bag with a clear bottle, like a clear plastic bag with a bottle of water and a bag of like gold world

mini pretzels.

And then they tell you when you eat or drink, just take the mask down, put it in, and then put the mask back up.

Oh, so you're not even allowed to keep the mask down while you're eating.

You have to, it's like a.

That is correct.

Okay, that must be a middle seat thing because before you didn't have to do that.

Do they do dinners anymore like you see on TV and movies where they bring out like the little dinner like you know they lift the plate up and there's like a nice roast beef cut there?

Yeah.

Do they still do that?

On

up in like depth like if you fly like

first class like London, like when we go there for tour or something like that, dude, it's silverware and plates and

a tablecloth and shit like that.

It's pretty nice up there, man.

But they don't do that.

They got seats up there that go completely flat into beds.

It's crazy.

Like when we flew to Cullen's con, they had those pods.

Yeah, the pods, right?

Those turn into beds.

Yeah.

But they don't do that

on

domestic flights, they don't do anything like that.

There's no dinners or anything.

If you're going from New York, North State, California.

Without a doubt, yeah.

They'll give you a hot.

I think in

Coach, you'll get a like a you can order like a snack box.

But up in business, they still have like hot hot meals and stuff for you.

Okay.

I was just curious if they had canned that because of COVID.

No, on the way back, did you

get to

reclaim your seat?

Oh, yeah.

I was able to reclaim my seat on the way back.

Thank God.

Yeah, I'm okay, guys.

I'm concerned for you.

Everything was right.

But there was this fucking dickhead on the way back, actually.

I get on the flight, right?

And I go to put my overhead bag in.

Now, look, I fly a lot, or used to, right?

I know you could put it in the long way with the wheels to the back, right?

This guy, I get in, I open the fucking thing, and there's two like side by side, like the long way instead of like straight back.

Now, what am I gonna do?

Turn around and go, like, hey, whose is this?

I'm gonna turn it around.

No, I just start fucking like, put it up, put it up, have room for mine.

And the fucking this guy and his girlfriend who were sitting in front of me go, they don't go like that.

And I go, oh, no, no, no.

I go, yeah, they could, they can fit that way.

I was like, they tell you, and the guy goes, they told us how to put it it in like a dickhead.

And I go, okay, I go, it's just, it's just because I fly a lot.

You know, I've done this a lot.

He goes, what, is this my first flight?

And I go,

it's about to be your last cocksucker.

Oh,

this is really testing new Q.

Yeah, it really is.

And I sailed through it.

I sailed through it, Walt.

I go, dude, I go, I didn't mean it like that.

I meant, I mean, like, I wasn't saying it like that.

I was like, I didn't mean to say it like that.

He's like, oh, all right, all right.

Like, it, it, it, it, like, completely deflated it when I wasn't like, yeah, well, it it seems like it's your first fucking flight.

You know what I mean?

I was just like, oh, I didn't mean it like that, man.

I just mean like I've run into this before.

And then, and then the woman goes, even after it had like brought down a few levels, she goes, Well, can you close it?

Can you show me that it closes?

And I looked at her and I was like, and I just reached up and closed it and clicked.

And then they laughed, and I was like,

and then I sat behind them, and then right away, that fucking woman put a seat on

power move like the key lady,

dude.

this new me is just getting cucked all over town

that's why you might have to rethink this man

the q i know would bristle at the slightest provocation

yeah maybe i'm maybe but maybe the girls are right maybe that testosterone is just going away

estrogen in the room

look man at my age like if i keep it up like The guy who can kick my ass is eventually going to kick my ass.

It's not like the old days where I'm like, I can survive anything.

But now it's like, I'll get hurt.

I will get hurt.

Well, it's like

when you get to a certain age and you realize, like, because, you know, at no point are you like, well, I'm afraid of fucking teenagers or whatever.

But at a certain point, you reach an age where you're like, probably

most

fit male teens 18, 19 could kick my ass.

Uh-huh.

You know?

They'll move so fast, I won't even be able to see them.

Yeah.

They'll tag you right in the fucking chin.

You'll be like, whoa, what happened?

And then here comes another one from

your girlfriend's taking pictures of me with the cell phone.

In other words, Jessica, you think you're fighting the flash, but like if on the cell phone footage, if you look at it, you look like you're moving in slow motion.

Get all you.

The time it takes to raise your hand is like 10 seconds.

I'm missing two teeth and have a bloody nose.

Some asshole screaming world star in your face says.

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No.

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Oh, yeah, I do.

Right.

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guess what?

What?

You're feeling a little bit better.

Got a little bit more energy, a little bit more steam in your stride,

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And it's warmer weather now, so we're going to want to go outside, right?

Go outside and play.

Yeah.

Get out of this.

It's not cold anymore.

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Yeah.

Nobody needs that.

I hate coffee, guys.

Do you hate COVID?

Yeah.

Okay.

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Um, I have process

I don't own process.

What do you mean, your own prizes?

You're gonna make your own prizes?

Yes, that's hardly a prize if you're just gonna,

you know, what do you know?

I would have this.

Okay, that's the prize, right?

Helping me with these commercials?

Yes, that's the true prize.

No, that's that.

I like Sherbin Rochester.

I like

this

and then follow on.

Oh, you're talking about like exercising.

Sure.

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All right, that's the end of it.

No more.

No more.

House right.

What?

Yes, more.

Hey.

We're, um,

Troy and I are going to, uh, this month we're doing something for Patreon.

Uh, we do a podcast called Gafo and Order Q.

I'm not sure if you're aware of it.

We, uh,

okay, where we, uh, we discuss uh

criminal cases, uh, crime stories, that kind of thing.

And we're going to do a double header this month, and one of them is going to be uh the satanic panic of the 70s in 2008.

Oh, okay.

And it couldn't be more timely because Lil Nas X, are you familiar with this rapper?

I have heard the name, but I'm not familiar with their...

He ignited a satanic panic with a raunchy video and sold out shoes.

You must know about this, right, Wolf?

Yeah, I heard about this because

I saw devil shoes was trending and I had to, like, of course, I mean, I mean, I'm not going to fucking do a little investigation investigation on devil's shoes.

You fucking got it.

I'm like, I want devil's shoes.

I want a pair of devil shoes.

And when I clicked on it, I saw what it was.

There was some blood

in

the sole of a Nike shoe.

Like, he created this shoe that he was able to put blood into it.

And people were buying the most limited edition Nike shoe.

And I thought that was pretty fucking badass.

666 pairs.

His own blood.

His blood?

Yeah.

A drop of his blood is in there in the shoe.

Okay.

And, you know, I mean, obviously, I mean, this is not an original idea.

You know, we can go back to 1977 and Kiss did that with the Marvel Comics Super Special.

And, you know, we did it with Cryptozoke, man.

We put a drop of blood on one of the issues.

But this, you know, this angered Nike, though.

I heard that they are suing NAS X now.

They want, they want.

Really?

Yeah.

I mean, it got to the point, Q, where I guess there's a song called Old Road Town, Old Town Road.

It's like, I guess Lil Nas X was like for kids.

Like it was like

kid-friendly, even though he says it wasn't.

He was talking about adultery and all kinds of other shit.

Now, this is a governor.

Governor Christy Noam tweets.

Our kids are being told that

this kind of product is not only...

Oh, fucking, goddammit.

I've never seen anybody have so much.

Oh, fucking butterfinger.

Butterfinger must be.

I got to be down there in 22 minutes, so I gotta, I gotta.

Oh, okay.

I gotta wrap it up.

Okay.

Let me just read this to you.

Our kids are being told that this kind of product is not only okay, it's exclusive.

But do you know what's more exclusive?

Their God-given eternal soul.

We are in a fight for the soul of our nation.

We need to fight hard, and we need to fight smart.

We have to win.

And then there's pictures of, you know.

the devil Nike shoes and everything.

Does this not sound exactly like the same shit that came out of the 80s with the PMRC?

I mean, it's fucking insane.

Yeah, but I mean, I want like, that's all.

Excuse my language.

That's all just ridiculous nonsense.

But I just, I just got to give it up to the fucking little Naz because I'm like, I love the whole, like, you know, playing on the words, like, sneaker soul and then putting, you know, like you're, like, like the soul and the soul of a shoe

and putting blood in it.

I mean, I mean, I can't imagine he thought of it.

But somebody on his team, you know, deserves a raise.

Unless, of course, Nike fucking sues him into oblivion and the guy never has to, and the guy never is able to make another dime again because they sue him for so much money.

But how the fuck do you do that without Nike's permission, though?

I don't know.

Or if Nike knew and there would later on.

Go ahead, Keo.

You can't go on Etsy and just order shoes that have been altered by people?

Well, I think you can't alter.

I don't know.

Like, you can sell.

I don't know if you can just go and alter Nike's products and then make them your own without Nike's permission, though, I don't think.

Yeah, probably.

But I found some cool sites, though, that's making Tell him C Dave products.

China, they don't really care if they don't even ask me if I have copyrights and anything so that I'm doing.

So I don't even know if Little Nas just went on Alibaba and

just ordered him some Nikes with holes in them and

that he put some blood in.

But yeah, apparently you need to get Nike's permission to do that.

He's going to find out the hard way.

I mean, it would make sense.

You would think they would want to control their image, I think,

outside of state worshiping.

Yeah, if any listeners out there ever get their hands on some, you know, some nine and a half devil shoes,

come talk to me.

I might be interested in buying them off you because I would love to own a pair of those.

Well, you're ready to spend what they cost?

Yeah, how much are they going for?

$1,018.

Not to me if an ant has them.

I'm sure an ant will hook me up.

Give it to you at less than his cost.

That's it.

All right, boys,

I got to get out of here.

I got to get my second vaccine shot.

I don't want to be late.

All right.

Take care of yourself.

I'll talk to you guys later.

Yes.

Goodbye, everybody.

Thank you to all the demons.

And, you know, we'll talk about presidents soon.

Presidents and chapters soon.

Tell them, Steve, Dave.

Put the fork.

I don't know.

I thought you wanted to get out of here.