#474: Retell ‘Em Steve Dave: Part Two

Want to take over the government?

I love my wife to death, but like she hates the fact that I'm like, I'm glad that you love me, but I get that everywhere.

What I need from you is sex.

Tell him, Steve, Dave.

Hello, and welcome to this week's edition of Tell him Steve Dave.

I am here with Walt, and I am here with Q, and I am here with Kevin Smith.

Yes!

I'm a guest.

You're a guest.

This is part two.

The first part of this is going to be on Smodcast and Kevin's YouTube channel.

This part is going to be on our regular feed, and you can go to patreon.com slash tellhamsteve day for the video.

If you want to see it, you can go behind the club.

You got to join the fucking Tesde kids in Tesdy Town, right?

It's a good time.

You want to be a, that's a good time.

You want to see the video, too, particularly because the video is like, you can hear what we were talking about, but you've got to see the faces everyone was making.

Oh, they were such serious faces.

All right.

So back to the show.

We recorded an hour over at Smodcast.

We recorded for three hours, to be honest with you.

We're breaking it up into three episodes, and this is the second part of

our long conversation happening here on the Tesde podcast.

So if you didn't listen to Smodcast prior to this, you're probably not missing much.

It's not like we fucking had any revelations you haven't heard before or anything like that.

But it is definitely worth a listening

to catch up to where we are.

Because right now, as soon as I stop talking, we're going to dive back in to where the conversation is.

So it's going to suddenly, we're going to go from me explaining shit to like us deep in something.

And so if you're like, what the fuck, they went deep hard and fast with no lubricant, it's because we already went, you know, just the tip on Smodcast.

Now we're taking it to the shaft.

And then there's three hours.

And so in the third hour, which is over on Smodcast,

that's it.

That's what we're going for.

We don't get in there right away.

We ease ourselves in.

So yes, the third third part of this you'll be able to find on Smodcast, both on the podcast and on my YouTube channel and stuff.

But for right now, enjoy section two, ladies and gentlemen, the TUSD part of our long conversation.

My God, you love this man.

We deal with this every week.

Every week.

Here, let me ask you this: have, and you've got to be honest.

Yes, dead honest.

Dead honest.

No,

but that's clear.

I don't have to ask that question, but he's made that very clear.

Is the wall green?

Has he ever done something so moving that you have gotten emotional or cried?

No.

But you've never, how about the fucking with the comeback against Atlanta?

Giddam, you were at my house, right?

You were there.

You saw me as close to tears as probably you ever did, but I didn't let any tears fall out of these duckets.

Was that a conscious effort?

Like, I won't give him that.

No, no, because Giddam was watching the game with me, and I'm like, I'm not going to cry in in front of my

son.

If your own boy wasn't there to watch.

I mean, it was just like jaw-dropping.

Even the Super Bowl this year was just, because I didn't think he was going to win.

I mean, he's going up against the greatest right now

in Patrick Mahomes.

So for him to pull it off.

Especially he got blown out by this guy.

You know, this guy came into his house before Thanksgiving and they put up like 40 points and they could have put up even more if they did, if they took their foot off the pedal because they were crushing them so bad.

I didn't think he was going to win, and it just was

how nervous was I getting for that.

I mean, you were.

Have you ever seen me that way?

Standing just like shit.

Yeah, it was a way, and probably a side of me you never saw before watching that game, right?

Yeah, yeah.

Oh, yeah, it was just like, like, I, like, I was on Coke.

I know what that is.

I don't know.

I think that's what I would be like if I was like, if I took an eight ball.

Compared to how

a whole eight ball.

This is how you would be.

You would just be like,

what compared to when you were passionate about the devils and the devils were up for a cup?

Very, very similar.

Or more.

Probably about the same levels of anxiety where I was like, where I'm off the couch, I'm running around, my hands are shaking, my feet are freezing because I'm so nervous.

And you don't even give a fuck about the team.

It's just the team.

It's just him, yeah, because I don't want to hear anybody fucking at me on the internet on the social media and be like, oh, how'd your boy do?

I just can't see that.

That's where the love comes from.

It comes from all the hate.

And then I just could immediately, after the game was over, just fucking go on there and be like, you know, I guess after every playoff win, I was just like, get her done, GOAT.

And I know it fucking annoys

like 90% of our listener base.

He's calling Larry the cable guy too.

I knew that would be annoying, too.

It's incredibly sweet to see your fandom because I can't think of anything.

Like, even

by the time I started hanging out with you,

you like the devils, but you were over the initial hump of like

discovery.

So they were just a part of your fucking life.

This is like a late in life development, and it's not centered around a team, and it's not even centered around the state.

Like, at least the devils, you can make the argument, like, well, New Jersey Devils' home team and shit.

And he gave him a shot, and he still backs them.

This is a fucker from someplace else who does insanely well at his fucking job.

Um, but like, apparently, the world doesn't like him.

This part I didn't know, I thought everybody fucking no, no.

I mean, he kissed his kid, and that set everybody against him.

Yeah, yeah, like he was on some interview real-mouth documentary, and yeah, and he that's what he said.

He open-mouth kissed his

son,

yeah, but correctly, he just kissed his son on the lips.

Yeah, I know, I knew he was, I knew he was going to take some shit for that.

And I was just like, oh.

Tom, why'd you do it?

Goat, no, goat.

Don't get that done, go.

Do it when the cameras are off.

There should be, like, I wish that, like, I was buddies with the guy because there's nobody probably close to him that could be like, you got to burn that footage.

You got to get rid of that footage.

Go, we got to hang out because I got your back going in a way that nobody else does.

Because nobody in his camp probably was like, has got the balls to be like, can't release like making out with your son.

Like, he's like 10 years old.

I'm sure he didn't see it that way.

I'm sure he was like, I don't think we're making out.

I just gave him a chance.

Well, I think the problem was that the kid wanted something, and Tom Brady was like, all right, give me a kiss first.

Like, he had to earn whatever it was by kissing.

Oh, fucking, he made him earn it with some fucking smooches.

But he has a habit of dad too, as they say.

Hashtag dad too.

He kisses it.

Yeah, he has a habit of kissing his dad.

Only when he wins.

It's not all the time, but he does kiss his dad on the lips when he wins a Super Bowl, too.

Where are the owner on the lips?

Tom Brady?

Yeah, and that's the owner that was going to massage parlors, too.

So I I don't know if

hey, man.

I'm just trying to keep up the Tom Brady fandom.

Don't take me off site with like, and then there's the guy who got the fucking massages.

I'm like, who's that now?

He got a, what do you get at it?

There was no massage.

It was a handy thing.

Was it a handy or was there anything with oral?

I thought it was just a handy.

Who was this?

Robert Kraft, the owner of the New England Patriots.

Got a hand job?

Guy with God knows how much money decides to go to a fucking low-rent massage parlor.

Before the Super Bowl.

Before the AMC Championship.

But he always did it, right?

It was a thing.

Yeah, I think it was his lucky thing.

Like, if I get it.

Until it wasn't.

My lucky thing became my unlucky thing.

So, so charming, but also very like, I guess it makes sense in as much as you're like and follow the path.

You're like, I started doing it to make fun of him, and then I actually fell in love with him.

It is kind of a meat-cute story.

You could literally turn that into a romantic comedy.

Yeah, lifetime.

You initially tried to troll him with Tim Tebow, right?

No, I actually, again, it's always because I hate when like a quarterback or an athlete was taking shit just because he was a Christian.

Oh, so oh, Tim Tebow.

Tim Tebow.

So then I adopted Tim Tebow before Brady because I just couldn't stand the way that he was taking so much shit.

For being a Christian.

Yeah.

Wearing it on.

You're not even a Christian, though.

No.

So what I'm hearing is you're just a, yeah, really.

You're just, you're just a contrarian.

You're like, that's what the passion comes from.

I'm like, who don't they like?

That's my guy.

Yeah.

But then I actually, but then the troll became, what's what became what, the prince?

No, no.

Just go, the troll and the prince.

Yeah, I've never heard that tale.

Like, what did I become then?

Because I was actually a bigger fucking troll in love.

Yeah, because I legitimately learn, like, became to like, like, just marvel, legitimately marvel and legitimately be like,

just, wow, just knocked on my ass by like all this guy's accomplishments.

Were you liking him when we were still doing Comic Book Men?

Um,

probably, yeah, probably, but you know, it's not like now, though, not like that.

If you're in the throes of comic book men, you know, fucking like they'd be trying to book him for one of the shows.

Oh, yeah.

But I mean, we did one.

I don't know if it ever aired, though, where like, um, we did a like a, what was it called, banter, where I told, I asked the guys which athlete, like, you know, Flash Gordon, remember Flash Gordon saved the world?

He was a New York Jets quarterback in that movie.

I was like, pick a current athlete today that, like, if he had to save the world from an alien armada, who would you pick?

And, um, you know, everybody was wrong because I was like, it's Tom Brady, idiot.

It's like, if you don't pick Tom Brady, you want the world to die.

And that's when AMC was like, cancel it.

They're talking about sports now.

Where's the boy?

Cancel it.

The Patreons started right after the collapse where the cancellation didn't collapse.

They canceled Comic Book Man.

I've told this story before, but it was always so fucking shocking to me.

Every year that they renewed the show, I was like, are you kidding me?

Like, really?

Again?

Like, and not in a bad way, but I was always shocked because I was always sooner or later, I thought they'd be like, nobody wants to watch you and your fucking friends on TV.

And eventually they did say that, but it took seven years to get there.

So every year they renewed the show, I was always like, man, I can't believe they fucking renewed it.

The one time.

like where I was like, oh my God, of course we're getting another season.

I just had a heart attack.

Like, fucking, I'm all over the place.

And they had you come to Upfronts twice?

And I did the Upfronts as well.

So I was like, oh, we're definitely fucking coming back.

And Charlie from fucking AMC was like, texting me and he was like, hey, if you got a chance, give me a shot.

And I texted him back and I was like, well, it's my anniversary.

So like, I don't want to hear any bad news.

Joking around, he wrote back, oh, then call me tomorrow.

Instantly, I called and I was like, Charlie, what's up?

And he's like, yeah, we think we've come to the end.

We're kind of finished.

I said,

look, I said, I'll never fight you on it, man.

I can't believe you let us fucking have as many shows as we did.

Thank you and stuff.

I was like, but like, we're at 97.

Can we just shoot like three more?

And he goes, yeah, that just financially doesn't make sense.

So like he wouldn't, and I'm not saying he's a prick.

He's a wonderful guy, but they had reached a place where they were like,

we don't want to spend 10 more cents on this show.

Like, and not because they're like, we, we don't fucking like you or whatever.

They're like, it's done.

We're done.

And to be fair, we went way longer than any fucking unscripted program they started because we were just one of many unscripted programs that started in amc but eventually they fucking pulled the plug and stuff like that i think the only ones that would beat us would be talking judge right yeah that's right because they were i think they started like the year before us or like two months before us or something like that i can't figure out the the logistics behind it because the numbers you guys were getting at that time of night like

Why wouldn't they be happy with that?

Like, it just never made sense to me.

I thought it was a new regime, right?

I don't know.

I mean, Charlie was still there, so no.

I mean, he was the guy that would make the decision.

And he was like, he loved the show and loved us and was a super warm, funny fucking guy.

A dude who never really should have been an exec, and not because he's not good at the job, but he's like entertaining and quick.

Like he should be on this side of fucking things and stuff.

But he eventually got to a place where they were like, we just can't do it anymore.

But he called all of us, which I thought was nice.

Did he?

Oh, yeah.

Did he call you?

Yeah, after Kev told me, though, yeah.

Like, yeah, Charlie didn't break it to me.

I shouldn't have even took that call.

You should have told me.

Should have been like a planner.

Delete.

What was your thought when you heard Comic Book Men was ending?

You were probably relieved.

No, no, I wasn't relieved.

I was surprised because I thought for sure,

like many previous years, I also was like, there's no way they're bringing it back.

They keep pushing it like it's airing at 2 a.m.

What is the end game for them to keep doing this if they just keep burying it at like, you know, on a Sunday night, Monday morning at this point?

Never replay it.

Never replay it.

No reruns.

Yeah.

So I was always of the mindset that it was getting, that it was always the last year at the end, but not that year.

I thought that, you know, with the heart attack, I picked, there's no way they're going to cancel them.

I was like, it'll look so bad if they cancel it.

If it had anything to do with it, they're like.

What if he dies on camera?

No, because I'm sure they'd be like, what if he dies on camera?

Well, the insurance, I thought, if you died while you were on the podcast set.

Wow, that's interesting.

I haven't thought about that.

But they didn't have insurance on me

on the show because we're not like

they had insurance in as much as if somebody trips here, fucking we can't sue them or something, but they never insured any of us.

Like the way that they insure you on a market.

Even when Mike went up and had a helicopter?

I guess there was some insurance covering that, but it's certainly not like we had a black guest coverage.

My God, so much.

Mike, don't let go.

Why?

No coverage.

I was talking to to Mary Beth today.

We were walking through Red Bank, and she said, like, I miss the comic book men's summers.

And for, like, in that moment, the comic book men's summers is a great name for a memoir.

Or a song.

Yeah.

Well, or a fucking video for Patreon.

Where it's like, yeah, it was like all these people that you don't normally get to talk to.

Like,

they just all come together.

And it's everyone you like, everyone you know.

There were very, it was very rare that you saw a new face on this show.

And it was like for two months, you're like,

it was work, but to me, it didn't really feel like work.

Again, it's like I went there and I fucked around with my friends for X amount of hours and then we left.

That crew wasn't happy to be here.

You can tell that crew was like.

They were staying in mansions by the sea.

Well, they shouldn't be happy,

but they were legitimately like jazzed to be there.

Every year their housing was fucking far superior to mine.

But they did live in groups, didn't they?

Didn't like a bunch of them stay in that mansion.

It wasn't like Christian had his own mansion.

No, Christian stayed in a big place, but it was only with like Kimberly and

Melissa, his girlfriend, Melo.

Yeah.

But

some of the other people, like, they didn't have mansions like the PAs and shit, but still, it's like they're a block away from the ocean, you know, in the summer.

They all see anytime I came because my role on comic bookmen was very much I pop in every month and shoot wraparounds and stuff.

And everyone else actually did the heavy lifting of the day-to-day shooting the show.

Like, you guys shot five days a week, 12 hours a day and shit.

I came and sat around the poker table and was like, what'd you guys do?

And made jokes and stuff like that.

So anytime I came to visit, you got the distinct sense of family from that crew.

They were very happy to be there.

Nobody was like, this fucking sucks, man.

I can't believe we're still doing this and shit like that.

They really...

looked forward to it.

That job, I think Christian told us at one point, he was like, this is the vacation job.

He's like, we come here in the summer.

We get to fucking hang out at the beach.

We get to shoot a really fun show.

they were always very complimentary and then that was like thing something i took a great amount of pride in which is weird because i didn't create it you guys were talking before i ever met but they were always very like into the idea that like we roll a camera and we have a show because in the world of unscripted tv you you don't always have like the luck of impractical jokers where before guys all have something fun to say um there's a lot of pulling teeth and with brian and walter on comic book men and of course ming and mike as well there was just constant fucking content.

That was the first compliment they ever passed on where they were just like, uh-oh, who's that?

Oh, get him.

Get him, get him.

Damn, get him, your son.

Walter, your son, shit, fucking shit up.

It was, that was the compliment I really enjoyed when they were like, your friends are like fast.

They come up with shit to talk about.

And they were impressed by it because the world they were used to dealing with, they roll cameras on somebody for an hour to pull out five, ten seconds or something like that.

That's when Nichelle told me.

He'd be like, you know, just have a conversation.

And people be like, what do you mean?

Like, about what?

And it was very difficult.

And he's like, and when with you guys, it was like, here, talk about this.

And then we talk about it for five or seven or ten minutes.

And it's like, okay, now talk about this.

And just, and I missed that.

I missed that.

I felt like it kept me very sharp, even through the throat.

Like, again, a fucking oxycontin addiction.

It still kept my mind sharp and I felt fast.

And like, when we got away from that, I'm not doing it, you know, every day in the summer.

I just, I don't know, it felt like your mind feels more muddled and a little slower because you're not, you're not exercising.

You're not being sharp.

Yeah, this is basically that.

This is kind of the exercise quotient.

Um, when you heard Comic Book Men was canceled, you were like, Woohoo!

No, I couldn't, my show's still on.

I'm like, Welcome to season eight, bitches.

I couldn't believe it.

I, I, like, just looking at the numbers, I'm still, I still don't understand how they didn't pick it back up.

It just seems like a no-brainer.

I pitched to them recently on something else to AMC, and everyone I pitched to, I didn't recognize anybody, but all of them on the pitch were like, We love Comic Book Man.

I was like, All right, well, do it again.

They're like, Anyway, what do you got?

We talked about it on Telmeve, Dave, because we just were in the process of putting together this deal with Warner Media where we produce stuff, and I'm going to try and get it brought back.

That'd be amazing.

I'm gonna

resurrect the show, because one of the things that I like deal with on social media is not people being like, fuck the goat,

people,

which is something you deal with all the time with your Tom Brady love.

I deal with a bunch of people who are like, why don't you do Comic Book Men again?

As if I am in charge of that, as if I'm like, well, I elect not to, because I don't want to be on TV and fuck my friends.

It's like, I have no choice in the matter.

Like, somebody else doesn't want to do it.

If somebody wanted to fucking revive it, I would love to.

As soon as we get all of our

office space and all that shit, we're going to go out with some stuff.

And that's going to be one of the things that I try and push.

And I'm hoping that.

because it's a new deal and they're excited to see what they bring, what we bring, like, oh, great.

They green light the first three things.

Yeah, they'll be like, fuck, this is great.

We could do it.

So it's a plan, but didn't realize how long it took to get a development deal going.

It's like six months now.

I'm like, All right, let's get started.

But the thing about the budget was it wasn't huge, it was not a big budget for a show like that.

But

yeah, but you know what it was?

I believe it was about

five million a season, I think, something like that.

Which, for those like listening or watching, um,

trying to think of a show that people like.

Gray's Anatomy, minimum 5 million episodes.

Probably more than that.

So we got an entire season, which, to be fair, was how many episodes?

Eight, 16.

What do they count as?

It depends.

Yeah.

It was usually anywhere from 13 to 16.

But still,

a cheap show.

Yeah.

That's true.

It just never looked like they were like, oh my God, the show's doing well.

Let's spend more.

And they were always into how well the show did.

They were very frank about it.

They're like, oh, my God, you guys kill in your time slot.

Like, one of the things that made me proudest about the show when they told me was like, they were like, you guys kill fucking Conan's numbers.

And he's on, you know, fucking TBS with a budget and shit like that.

So there were a bunch of people watching for a long time.

And that's why we got to stay on.

I remember telling Charlie at one point, like, I think when he picked us up for year five, I was like, oh my God, I can't thank you enough.

Like, I know you only pick us up because you and I are friends.

He's like, you think I pick up the show because we talk on the phone sometimes?

I was like, that's not really how television works, Kevin.

He's like, your show makes money for us.

As long as it does, we'll keep doing the show.

So I guess they've hit a place where they're like, it's not enough.

Yeah, it's not enough money.

because that's it.

It wasn't like we're not making enough any money.

It's just like we could make more.

And let's free this up for something that will make more or something like that.

I often wonder if they had treated it more like IJ, where you can't fucking get away from it on the network.

IJ, well, I mean, number one, no offense.

Number one, I refuse to fucking call it IJ either.

I'm fucking done with this hipster shit.

For Impractical Jokers, like Impractical Jokers has a better formula for

like viral activity because it's fun.

It's like, I'm going to watch you do this.

Like, I'm going to dare you do this.

It's almost like a game show.

There's a game show mentality.

There's no storylines, you got to do it.

There's no storyline.

But even in our world, there weren't that many storylines, but still, that's like.

Here's set up punchline, set up punchline, set up, punchline.

And that's not diminishing it.

It's like, that's what you can expect from the show.

And it's easier to get into.

Whereas I think comic book men, number one, you have to like comics.

You don't have to like comic books or or have an interest in comic books to jump into Impractical Jokers.

You just have to want to see friends having a good time or fucking around and blah, blah, blah.

So it translates far easier in a way that even if we were put ad nauseum onto AMC, I don't think we would have gotten all that bigger.

Like as where did you guys, where did you guys notice your first big hit, like Netflix when people, more people started seeing it?

When did you realize, holy shit?

It was, no, it was just when True TV just switched over to comedy, they canceled every show but us and they just started airing us without exaggeration, like 18 hours out of the day.

And it was just like, you couldn't avoid it.

Like, you know what I mean?

If you're flipping through the channels and you hit that channel, we're going to be on.

And if you're high enough, or if it's late enough at night, you're going to be like, oh, what's this stupid shit?

And that's kind of how it went.

It was, we, we got lucky because we got, we had such a shitty deal when we started doing that show.

So like, we didn't get, because it was a reality show, even though we wrote so much.

So we, we didn't, we don't get paid per airing.

So for them, they can air it as much as they want.

So that's why they did it at Nausea.

That's why they did it because they didn't have to pay us.

And we always took it as like, so we made a deal with them.

It was like, all right, well, there's nothing we can do about that, but can we tour under the name and not give you guys anything?

Because in the beginning, they first were like, you can't call yourselves in Bragg Bill J.

They were sending

assist orders.

Yeah.

And then, so you were able to finagle.

We were like, that's, we're doing comedy clubs in Ohio.

Just give it to us.

And at the time, we were doing comedy clubs in Ohio.

So that was kind of the break.

And then as we started getting into bigger, bigger venues, we were like, oh shit, the TV show is a commercial for the live tour.

Yes.

So air as much as you want, guys.

And then I think in the fifth season, we were like,

in our contract, we were like, just put in a commercial for the live show at the end of the show.

And it just worked to our benefit.

And so at the end of every show, there's a commercial for the live tour.

I see the guys on tour.

Yeah.

So, yeah.

So that was, I should do it.

That's something that we never did on comic book men, but it's also something that, like, it's not like, go see Brian Walton.

me standing up there.

Holy shit, man.

That's like, it's so weird to see the trickle down and then follow it and be like,

that's fucking brilliant.

Yeah.

And then, and then, because the regimes just switch over so much, as you know, people are like, as new regimes, they're like, well, how come we, how do we get some of that touring money?

And we're like, that's what I was going to ask.

They don't touch that at all.

Now, what it is, is they get part of merch, but

they have to pay for the merch.

To make the merch themselves.

They made the merch themselves.

So they can make it

and give you a percentage.

That's it.

But you can also make your own merch?

No, everything goes through them.

So they make all the merch.

They make all the merch, right?

But they hire their own merch company to follow around the tour.

So they just assume all the risk.

They assume all the risk.

Nice.

Yeah.

And split the money.

Yeah,

I'm sure it's not a great split, but yeah, they get that.

But the nice thing is, as I'm sure you figured out, and you guys have figured out over the course of 10 years of doing Tell them Steve Dave,

every piece of merchandise is also a free commercial.

Anytime somebody's wearing that shirt, sporting that bumper sticker, wearing that patch, that's just a billboard.

That's somebody walking around and somebody

wearing suit, man, right?

There you are.

You're doing DC's work for him.

There's the devil right there.

There he is.

We're all branded.

I'm with the guy who's always selling me.

That's what I got to do.

I got P.

Diddy going.

Look at you.

Fucking fancy pants and shit like that.

This is what happened when Ben hooked up with J-Lo.

He started dressing all fancy and shit.

You got married and you turned into a fancy boy.

I got M.

Ho over there.

M.O.

It is

a thing of beauty to see the continued success of what started as a, you know,

what started as like somebody got to help out Brian has now turned into like an industry.

For you, a side industry.

Yeah, great one.

But in addition to like another industry.

And for you guys, the industry.

Yeah, so much so that like I thought like

coming when he got married, I was like, that's

the most greatest ending.

Like, you know, started like he was so down on his luck, you know, one foot on the stool.

Like, if we had ended it on that episode, poetic, it would have been like

then an older guy who goes through a midlife crisis could see the whole thing, the whole story.

Just like me with Gretzky, they'd be like, I know what happens at the end to tell him, Steve, Dave.

I would have my fucking foot back on the stool again.

I got to get a real job.

Fuck that.

The stool's always there.

I didn't throw the stool out.

I'm just not stepping on it this week.

Was there ever any thought, or is that just amusing me?

That would have been like

in a perfect world, that would have been the greatest ending.

I thought, like, you know, the journey from like, you know, I'm, I'm so depressed to now I'm happily married.

If it was a, if it was a free podcast, would you have insisted that's the action?

I thought you were going to quit this 10 years ago.

It was.

That was famous fucking words that Walter said when I was like, you guys should do a podcast.

You should just like the Love You on fucking podcast, sit down and do a fucking podcast.

And his quote was, yeah, that's the cure for death.

And I was like, you'd be surprised.

You would find, like, it's talking.

You get to talk and people get to hear you.

It's about being heard in this life.

And Walter goes, I'll do it.

I'm going to do it with him.

And I said, really?

And he goes, yeah, he's going to, he'll quit in three episodes.

So it's no skin off my ass.

I'll totally do it with him.

And it's gone on for a fucking decade.

And not only has it gone on as the original thing, it turned into something else.

Like, you know, we joke and fucking giggle, but like, there's a reason Tesdi won't fucking end till somebody dies because now it's the career.

It's not just a hobby.

It's not just something nice to make somebody feel good.

It is literally an industry.

It's something that like puts the fucking roof over houses over people's heads, puts fucking nice Sean John clothing on people or whatever to fuck fancy threads.

It's like, if it was a free podcast, it could have been like, all right, we're done.

But now it's like.

But is it a good thing, though?

Because

I'll see some posts online.

It's like, you know, you guys jumped the shark.

Oh.

Well, come on.

They said that to me on Mall Rats, bro.

Like second film out, they were like, you jumped the shark.

There's always something I would say.

This is what the genius of these guys are.

And I don't know whose idea it was, but somebody said that.

And then a month later, we had a bunker sticker that said TSD is the shark.

I said it as I saw that.

That's what it means.

Yeah,

come at us.

Give us the material.

The fans have been like the fuel, the wind beneath the wings, the fuel actually in the show.

Like so much of what you guys do.

That artwork, I thought you did that.

No, I've done a lot of the artwork for Tome Steve, Dave.

Not this piece, though, not this particular piece.

Yeah.

So crazy that, like, one of the defining attributes of Tesdi, the four color demons, which is a visual image and a visual image of something metal with reference to comics, wasn't drawn by you.

No, yeah, no.

There's a lot of artwork that isn't mine because we have a lot of talented listeners.

Yes.

And when I like this, the tell him Steve Dave is the shark.

That's not me either.

But I just love that drawing.

And I purchased it from a listener.

I was like, I'm going to make a shirt out of it.

I'm going to make a bumper sticker out of it.

What about the shirts, like the three, the rainbow Barons?

Well, that's a photograph, but I designed all those shirts and everything.

Well, except the

Etching Ham, those three heads, and of course, the mug shop.

The four colour and the mug shop.

The top three ones.

Yeah.

Look at the flocked poster.

I mean, like, this is, this just shows up at my house, stuff like this.

You didn't even know this was happening.

I didn't even know it was coming.

Walt just had a comment.

What do you call it?

Flocked?

Yeah, it's like a black light poster.

Yes.

From like I saw when Ernie showed me at one point in the tour on the thing, I was like, oh my God, that looks like fucking something from the record rack.

Like the kind of post that they would tell.

It's a very, very reach-back.

For a year, for those listening who are like record rack, when we were kids in the Highlands, we had a record store, believe it or not, and it was called the Record Rack right next to Record Rack, right next to Bart the Barber, the one-legged barber, who I'm sure you've talked about many times on Tesde.

Bunny, we have to interrupt this fine show for a moment to tell people about underpants.

Mm-hmm.

Do you wear underpants?

No.

You don't?

Why aren't you wearing underpants?

I'm not aware of this.

Maybe because I didn't get you any meundis.

Is that the reason?

Yeah.

Oh, God, I'm sorry.

Well, it's time we stopped messing around about funny things and talked about something serious and important.

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A lot.

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Not yet.

Not yet?

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And remember that panda robe I was wearing yesterday?

What?

That panda robe?

It was a robe with the panda bears on it.

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Yeah, you said it was cute, right?

Yeah.

I mean, come on.

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Do it.

Okay.

We have churned out.

like in the last three years so much merchandise because of the patreon again though i'm not sure if it's a good thing but it's fun to design it all but at a certain point i'm like you know is it like is it hitting kiss levels of lunacy do you have a coffin yet

i'm working on it

that's the one brian's gonna be sitting in in the corner of the store i'll tell you what if this image was on my coffin i would be proud to be dead yes want to be dead at that point

um no worry about that number one as somebody who has reached kiss levels of fucking

crap you're fine you got a ways to go.

It's still at an incredibly charming level, at least for me.

And, you know, I like to think that I, I, I, I don't come into this cold, like I'm well aware of fucking Tesney and whatnot.

But like when I saw the merch and shit, I was like, oh my God.

And for the last few years, I've been like, I remember like when I saw the album, I was like, what do you mean they made a record?

I'm like, they made a record.

And I was like, like you're singing?

Yeah.

I was like, we haven't even made a record.

And they're like, yeah, they've made a record.

I was like, that's a doable thing.

Like, I'm going to make a record um

from there and forward

anytime i've seen something i'm like jesus like that's neat but the good thing why you'll never reach kiss levels is because since it's patreon driven it's only for the members correct yeah and you don't make beyond that so it's not like you're still selling shit so the people who want it more than fucking life itself have it and the people who would say something who are people who would never buy it anyway don't even know it fucking exists it's perfect no they know it exists.

And then I see them like some anti-toper is just like cooling it.

They're like, like, again, like, they've jumped their shark.

They made a lamp, you know, and I'm just like,

wait, that was a bad thing.

Somebody thought that was bad.

There's just too much now.

There's just too much.

They're getting it.

Yeah, but that's like there are people who aren't getting it.

You know, I guess like

how silly it is.

Yeah, they see the pictures online.

And so, yeah, I worry about that.

I want to turn it into a sideshow.

It is, though.

We're all in the sideshow business.

All of us act accordingly.

Yeah.

If you can steal someone's attention, I mean, think about how much competition you have in this world for the attention of an audience member.

If you can steal as much attention as you've stolen from these people over the course of 10 years, like that's fucking talent.

That's, that's, that's all we're doing.

We're in the distraction business.

And you have distracted an army.

of ants for a decade now with your fucking antics and stuff.

And you fucking captivated people with your antics on television.

And you still continue to captivate people with your antics on television and shit.

Crazy.

And if I had, if somebody had told me at the beginning, pick one of these fucking three, I'd be like, why am I even including the guy who yelled at the bookstore clerk?

Why is he,

like, he'll be a big part of this, so you got to pick out one of the three.

I definitely would have said, like, Quinn will not like Quinn's going to go places, but Quinn had the openness of like, let's do a thing.

Let's do a thing.

He has like that.

He's got that boyish energy that you just want to, like, you just want to like,

yeah, just want to kiss it on the lips.

Tom Brady style.

You did good.

Yeah, he had, like, he brings that kind of like, yeah, he energizes me, definitely, like, when he's involved in it, and whatever we're doing, because he has that kind of like, that boyish, like,

man.

This guy's 45.

Yeah, but he brings, he brings an energy.

Like, he, like, he's Robin.

He kicks it up.

He's Robin.

The boy wonder.

Gee, Batman, let's kick some ass.

We're just ready for it.

Plenty of times where I've dragged ass.

Not for many a year.

Not for many a year.

Yeah,

you definitely bring a spark that

is very,

very much noted and appreciated.

Well, that's because of you guys.

Because all of us.

Kev,

you're inspiring us and suggesting to do a podcast.

I mean, it's

more than suggest I made you do it.

I edited the first one and I fucking gave you the title and was like, you have to do this.

But that was the, it's one thing to be like, to ride you guys, give me audio and I'll cut it up together and shit.

And fucking, no,

joint counter joint is not the name.

Like

that.

I tried over the years.

I bring that back.

It's a good name, but this Tesdi obviously.

Sure.

There's definitely a sideshall called Joint Encounters.

In a world of Patreon, don't you have to do multiple things?

Like,

doesn't Sunday Jeff have a show and fucking get him?

Do you have a show yet?

No.

He's on the Sunday Jeff show.

He's the Ed McMahon.

You let your son be Ed McMahon to Sunday Jeff?

Yeah, it should be a Walton Get Hem show.

Sunday Jeff's a real talent.

Yeah, Sunday.

Yeah,

it may look like he's comatose and

he's got that distractor.

It's undescribable.

He's not the guy with the boyish energy.

Yeah, but he has boyish energy too.

Like I made him eat.

I'm sure you never heard about this, but like we had a pussy eating contest and we used figs.

Figs with hair like fake colour around it.

Wow.

It's the most disturbing shit you've ever seen.

And like when you turn it on, I tell Sunday, Jeff, like, this is what I want you to do.

And he just does it like with a grin ear to ear.

I guess it's kind of how like you feel like when you see like that, well, like we're putting up a green screen.

Or anytime I'm like, Jay, do this.

And he's like, all right.

Yeah.

And so, like, yeah, we had, we had, like, you just

for

it's amazing, like, what, like, with a little bit of like, like, suggestion.

And, like, were you willing to do this?

Yeah.

Okay.

Let's do it.

Well, and then it's a good thing.

It's innocent shit.

Like, hey, let's shoot a little video as opposed to, like, want to take over the government?

You're also talking about a guy that I feel like would never be involved in shit like this.

No, another guy that also doesn't occur to me as like somebody who's like, hey, I'll be on a microphone.

No, no, yeah.

And that's, I guess that's like that, that, you know, brings me to a point where like, that is something that

I will, I will be like, without a doubt, your

insistence, not in a good way of like including people in your journey.

That's the Gretzky part.

That's the like, I'm going to pass you to Puck.

You score because it's fun.

That has inspired me to include everybody in my circle from Sunday Jeff

to my daughter

to Gidham, to everybody, any friend that I come into contact or I make, I'm like,

we're going to have a whole Frank Five day.

Yeah,

it's just like that.

It comes from like being, you know, being

and seeing how you handled things and including us.

in things throughout throughout your whole career.

That comes, it definitely comes from like being seeing how you handled yourself and how you wanted to include everybody else

more fun i couldn't i couldn't understand like we're lucky i guess maybe we breathe rarefied air all of us at this table but all of us got successful with friends and that's not true of many people or almost any people in this business at any level not just like the world of podcasting or the world of tv movies just entertainment in general it's a very cutthroat fucking world that's filled with egos.

And a lot of people want me, me, me, and fucking out front and shit like that.

And don't have friendships.

That's conventional wisdom in the entertainment business is you don't have fucking friends because everyone's in competition with one another.

We sitting here at this table have been lucky enough to have come to success side by side with the people that we were unsuccessful with as well.

You know what I'm saying?

Like

nobody could like lie in this room because we all knew each other when.

So, it doesn't matter how fucking successful one could get, and you meet people in your life who are like, you're just the most fucking famous person or the most successful person I've ever met.

They weren't there when you weren't.

Everyone that we work with was.

And because of that, there's something more satisfying about the win.

You know what I'm saying?

I mean, I'm sure, like, we can't all be Tom Brady and win by yourself and take the whole team with you and shit.

Winning with friends is kind of like, you know, I guess guess that's like the thing about Gretzky that I found most appealing, at least as it was portrayed.

He was like, oh, he likes all these people.

And because he likes them, he like brings them in and fucking, like, it's like Messier said, you just have to show up and do your job.

You carry your end of the bargain.

And something fucking magical would happen.

It's kind of

the story here at this table.

You just have to show up.

You have to do your part of the fucking bargain, carry your part of the fucking show.

And every week, something magical happens.

And that was not the aim.

It wasn't like, let's start this thing because it can be a thing that will fucking like will be how we make a living or how we'll be, what they'll fucking talk about is when we die.

They're going to talk about this shit, Tesdi.

They're going to talk about fucking this, that, or the other thing.

They're going to talk about fucking like this thing that you've built.

That's unique.

Yeah.

I think they'll talk about it.

I could die.

They could put my corpse in the corner.

I'll go to Torres and I'll tell them Steve David.

But it is.

It's like, but I mean, it extends, of course, to Quinn beyond just tell him Steve Dave.

Obviously, he does the same thing.

Oh, yeah.

With fucking impractical jokers.

We sold the network on so far three specials.

That's just our crew because we love them so much.

They've been with us for 10 years.

We've been fighting to get him on the show.

And now we do.

total episodes about just the sound guy going out and doing impractical jokers.

And the crowd loves him.

We do these cruises and fucking people see Danny Hollis, our sound guy, and they're celebrity.

Might as well be athletes.

They go fucking nuts and they want pictures of him and shit like that.

And it's like, that's so much better than somebody asking me for a pip photo to see Dan Cask editor.

Or, yeah, it's just way better, man.

It's way better.

In fact, don't ask me for photos.

That's what we're getting at the heart of this.

Just go to Danny Hollis.

It's a fucking real Ringo thing where he's like, no more autographs.

Peace and love.

Like, I just point out Sunday Jeff would never have done something like he's doing now if not for like bringing him in.

But I feel the same way about myself.

I don't know about you, but if it weren't for Kevin, I would never have thought.

That's just not the way I grew up.

It's not the way I thought about myself.

It's not the way I was raised that, like, you can go out and do something like this.

Like, you, like, people would want to listen to you talk, and people might even want to watch you look like an asshole on TV.

It always confounded me that you, both of you,

weren't more, and then the term is not more sure of yourselves, but like,

you know, like, I was like, he's fucking hysterical and he's fucking hysterical and they're both fucking brilliant.

Like,

they don't seem to know it.

You know, that's why I tell him Steve Dave was an effort because I was like, people like you on the show, like, unbelievably so.

They like when you guys sit on the show and fucking bicker at each other.

You should do a fucking thing and stuff.

But like, it really,

it comes down to like, I mean,

it comes down to the Howard Stern thing.

Like, wouldn't it be great if you could just sit around and fucking like talk to your friends and that was your job?

And it was not the aim, obviously, but like it did become the version of that became our careers across the boards.

Like he sits around, talks to his fucking friends.

You sit around, talk to your fucking friends.

I sit around and talk to my fucking friends.

And somehow that counts.

Somehow it's a business.

Like you said, with what is it called?

Frank Five or whatever.

You know, like, like, I get to, I get to be brilliant and seem like a genius because I know a lot of shit about a fucking show that nobody fucking remembers and shit.

It's dialed in to what you're best at.

Like, unlike my dad, I can't speak for, well, Edgar was like a architect.

Yeah, carpenter.

Carpenter.

He worked for others and shit like that.

Oh, yeah.

And your dad, what did your dad do?

No.

What did your mom do?

I don't know.

He worked in a factory.

What did mom do?

She was a stay-at-home mom for the most part.

What did you do?

What did your parents do?

My dad drove subways in Manhattan.

He was a train operator.

The fuck out of here, man.

Yeah, 20 years.

He drove the subways around from Coney Island to Manhattan up and down.

That's fucking badass.

Did he ever see crime and shit?

Oh my God, dude.

I used to go to work with him.

Like, this was his sons.

There's crime.

It'd be like, that's when the subway cars were like all covered in graffiti and shit.

And yeah, he, I mean, he would have guys kill themselves on the track all the time and stuff like that.

He saw that as he's driving.

He saw, like, his buddy was called Meat Train because, like, every other time he worked, somebody killed himself in the 80s.

Holy fuck!

Oh, they called the meat train.

It was great.

And yeah, so we, you know, I would go.

Imagine you're just driving a train, and you're like, You're going to do another one, and like, somebody's literally going to die, and there's nothing you can do about it.

After a while, it's just about the paperwork, I'm told.

You're like, oh, for fuck's sake, like, now I got to stay.

That is crazy.

The way that, like, people hit a pigeon, they're like, oh, man.

Yeah, exactly.

Hitting a human being, I'm like, being like, fucking paperwork.

But regardless, and then Brian's mom, not to leave her out, was also a fucking worker.

She's a nurse and shit.

All these people did jobs that they were like, we're going to give you money if you'll do this thing.

And all of those people, I'm sure, man to a woman, would have been like, I'm never doing this unless you give me money to do this.

We got to grow up and have jobs where it's like a pleasure to go to work, where your job is literally to be like, Today I had to remember a TV show that I watched years ago.

Like, that's the hardest heavy lifting.

Or, you know, today I had to wear a very expensive costume that my friend handed me and I had to bring a Joker wig.

But other than that, it's pretty damn impressive.

And

kind of like how me looking at the Gretzky story, like, you know, I was like, oh, I recognize elements of my own story in that.

And that's why I'm drawn to it in the first place.

Not because the dude was so vastly different, though he was, from me, in weird ways, we were similar.

And it was like nice for like to see like.

I think that's ultimately what it came down to.

I was like, even though I don't do what that person does, I recognize that person.

I recognize myself and that person.

The values that person has are similar to fucking mine.

When I look at tell them, Steve, Dave, now that's all I feel is kinship and a sense of like,

oh my God, that's just like me.

Now, it makes more sense in this instance, since we all know each other and shit, but like there's like sees like.

in this instance as well.

Like me going like, oh my God,

they'll make a thing.

They'll do a show.

They'll do this.

They'll like all of that.

And I don't want it to sound condescending, but makes me like insanely fucking proud because I do feel a small sense of like

the same way I'm always like, if I didn't meet Walt, clerks doesn't happen.

I don't meet Brian.

Clerks doesn't happen.

I don't meet Jay.

Clerks doesn't happen.

I feel like I leave this world going,

if I'm the lodestar in this instance.

If I don't exist, this doesn't exist.

We say that.

We say that.

And it makes, it gives me, and I don't mean that as a sense of like, and so hence, give me all the money.

I mean it as a sense of like,

this is going to sound fucking weird.

I've done a lot of things in life, and I'm proud of all the things I've done.

And some of them are very obvious and big and stuff like that.

But one of the things I'm proudest of is this.

And not because like, like, I created this, but because

the

I just know that it wouldn't have happened if we all hadn't met.

Like, I know you two, if we'd never met, you two would never be sitting around going going like, we should start one of them podcasts you heard so much about.

You guys wouldn't know each other.

Dude, I say it constantly.

Like, he comes in through

my life is not even recognizable.

But it's true, but you can trace it back further to like,

I need to meet Walter

or else, and I need to, like, apparently it took eight fucking months, but I needed to reach Walter to enter Walter's world and stuff.

And then that is, that's the, mini bang or the big bang.

That's the beginning of my fucking universe, the universe that would come to put food on my table and fucking like, you know, get me respect in the world where people are like, I like you.

I live a life where, and I'm sure you recognize this and you recognize this and you'll probably recognize this.

You probably more than most because TV fucking makes you everybody's relative.

But I live a life where people just fucking are smile when they see me and don't fucking have, don't feel the need to say anything more than like, I love everything you do, and fucking move on.

Yeah,

that

for a person like me, the personality, the you know, the type that I am, that's more important than fucking money.

That kind of like, oh my God, fucking respect.

And it probably has a lot to do with Jersey, like, you know, fucking feeling always shit on or whatever the fuck and not good enough or whatever to fuck.

From Staten Island.

Fucking New York.

Yeah, you know, living next to New York is just fucking hurt sometimes.

But like, it, it is, that is worth more than any piece of currency that i've accrued across like 27 years of making things because you can't fucking spend that and it cannot be minted but once

that's

that that you and me don't meet i don't have that in life where some people are just like Fucking love your shit, man.

And I say to them, thank you.

And it's a brief exchange, but I go on my day and I feel like a million fucking bucks.

I have something that a lot of people don't have in life.

This fucker didn't have that years ago.

And that's why he was like, I got one foot on the stool.

Nobody fucking cares.

I don't even need, I love my wife to death, but like she hates the fact that I'm like, I'm glad that you love me, but I get that everywhere.

What I need from you is sex.

Sex is what we do.

Love, I can get on the streets.

And I take that for granted all the time because it's just been my life for a quarter of a century now.

But that moment, whenever somebody's just like, fucking love your shit, man.

And I'm like, thank you.

And I go on with my day, Trace is right back to me going like, so I understand that you like comic books.

Yeah, I always wonder that because I'm like, I still think, though, that you probably would have written clerks.

Never.

No.

I don't know.

Look, I spent a lot of time.

You were a writer before you met me.

But I didn't write clerks.

And what did I write?

I wrote SNL type sketches.

But like, I meet you, you introduce me to him.

And he is the key to clerks because he's Randall.

So like your sensibility is very close to his, but as we all know, Brian is a singular individual.

So, Brian, Brian manifests Randall and stuff.

So, I don't ever write and then also add to it: I don't meet Jason Muse unless I meet him through Walter and Brian.

So, that's true.

Randall and Jay don't exist.

What do I make a movie about fucking Dante?

You did.

Well, with Dante, not about Dante.

So, yeah, no, it's it's I can point to that and be like, that is true.

Walter and I did this recently.

I won't go deep into it.

So, bunny, you love music, don't you?

Yes, I love music.

You love listening to it.

Nice and loud, right?

Yes.

But that drives data crazy.

So what's good?

What can we do so data doesn't have to hear it?

Because this is a prank.

Earbuds?

No, this is a prank.

It's a prank?

Yeah.

I don't know what that means, but we're talking about earbuds right now.

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i love you

but walter and i had a quasi-argument probably our first in in a long time fairly recently and in One of the,

if this is going to make you uncomfortable, you can kill it.

No.

But I know on TESD, sometimes you guys go therapeutically and stuff.

Walter

at one point brought up

like me smoking weed

as

problematic.

Recently?

Yes.

And honestly, only once to me in my entire life, which I said to him, I was like, Walter, I'm so glad that you didn't do this when I first started smoking weed.

I was like, because I guarantee you, I would have stopped smoking weed because I know my relationship with Walter and

I got where I am in life by going, like, he thinks that's cool.

Like, fucking good, that's cool.

So, if you had ever sat me down and been like, you probably, you're a fucking weed addict and you probably shouldn't smoke weed, I definitely would have fucking stopped because it would have scared me, like scared me straight or something like that.

However, my point to Walter during all that was, and it was like an hour conversation, was I can draw directly

three hours.

Were you smoking weed while you're having a conversation?

Was I?

No, I don't think

because I was too flabbergasted to light up.

I was like, what?

But Walter's point was like, he said something that was like, and it scared me for a second because he goes, we were in the midst of like a fucking heated discussion, but he was like, you know what?

Like, I've been a bad fucking friend to you because I never fucking said something to you.

I should have said something to you years ago.

And I've been a bad friend to you guys.

Like, what are you talking about?

He's like, you know what?

I shouldn't even be saying it.

I don't want to say this.

And I was fucking terrified because I'm like, what is it?

Yeah, I mean,

but I, that wouldn't have made me mad as much as I'm like, really?

Like,

and you waited until now?

Why didn't you let me cuck it out?

I like you, I like her.

It would have been a great night for me.

But it was very, it was, it was instead, it was um, like him going, I, I think you, I think you're, uh, what was the, I don't want to fucking rephrase it.

I said I failed you as a friend because I didn't, I didn't really ever tell you how I thought you were smoking way too much it wasn't that it wasn't that it was it was that was the general idea but it was a much more

verbiage was a little you're a fucking addict that's that that was the word

I think junkie was the word you didn't call junkie

that would have that would have like really fucking charmed

no this is not my story to talk about all these things you're calling them kind of waters down me being a junkie i feel like because like you know i would try i would go to i would i've gone to him and i've told him

this and this I did his house and I was just like,

it smells like Chee Chun Chong's house.

This is fucked up, I said, because I drove by your house and I could smell,

I could smell pot coming out of your house.

That is fucked up.

I said, and someone should tell you that it's fucked up, but I wouldn't tell you that, though,

because of

just awkwardness, I guess.

Why?

Just out of curiosity.

Number one, please never come to my house then.

You'll be next to me.

You'll be a mile away.

Oh, no, all fairness bullshit.

It was a fan, and I spoke it to the fan, so it blows it out the window.

I got to take you back one other step.

The whole neighborhood is high because of your house.

Is that the fear that

the smoke will secondhand and travel inappropriately?

No, no, I just felt like I'm not.

There's no fear, only judgment.

Was that the judgment?

No, I guess because I come from a

I'm just the type of person that's just like, I see, like, if you're doing it that much, there could be a problem.

There's a part in the documentary that Malcolm made called Clerk, which is coming out, which all three of the boys are interviewed in at various points.

But Walter's interview is probably the most charming because at one point, like you hear Malcolm go, he's been high every day for the last 10 years talking about me.

And Walter goes, that's not true.

And he goes, no, it's true.

And Walter goes, there's no way anyone could do the same thing every day for 10 years straight.

Number one,

what's charming about that to me is it's said by the guy sitting in the same comic book store for 20 years, eating pizza and chicken figures every fucking day.

So I was like, yeah, yeah, that's impossible to keep a street going.

But it was like when I watched it,

it was very like, he doesn't like he doesn't, like for a minute, it was like, nah, that can't be true.

That wouldn't be true.

Because it's also like, it's a feeling of guilt on my part.

So I'm like, I never say anything.

I never say anything.

That's what he said on the phone.

He was like, I was so like, I'm fucking, I should have told you and stuff.

And for a second, I was like, oh my God, this is like the talk that I would have had with you, somebody I considered an addict.

And I was like, I'm the addict now.

I'm being like, I'm the one who's being focused on.

So my point to Walt was like,

Walt, like, honestly, I could trace everything that we do back to weed.

And Walt's like, that's not true.

And he's like, clerks.

And I was like, clerks, of course not.

I said, but everything.

From tell him Steve Dave forward, I said, literally, I can draw a line from weed to everything that you guys have done for the last 10 years.

And he was like, bullshit.

And I was like, here we go.

I said, tell him Steve Dave was born from a stoner, a guy who wanted to do a podcast called Joint Counter Joint.

Then it was shaped by a fucking stoner, edited, renamed by a stoner, put out on a stoner's podcast network, which only existed because I was a stoner at that point in life.

I was like, let's fucking do a podcast network.

Wouldn't that be fucking badass?

Why don't we have more than one show?

So I was like, it's marinated.

The beginning of fucking tell him Steve Dave is marinated in fucking weed.

And not to mention the fact that Brian used to smoke weed and stuff like that.

I was like, so tell him Steve Dave has weed all over it and stuff.

And I was like, comic book men.

And he was like, comic book men would have happened without weed.

You can't tell me weed did that.

I said, Walter, comic book men was pitched in a smoke session with Charlie McClellan going like,

AMC wants to make a show after Walking Dead.

They want to do a geek show.

You got any ideas?

And I was like,

no.

I said, but you know what you should do?

It would be a cheap fucking geek show is you should do like pawn stars, but in a comic book store because comic book stores, like now people know what they are.

It's not like just comic book guy.

Like there's a mass awareness of what a comic book store is.

You couldn't do this years ago.

We could totally do it fucking now.

I said, you just got to go out and find the most acerbic comic book store fucking staff in the world.

Like you just do a nationwide search and shit and then you go shoot them because comic book people, they're acerbic and funny and shit like that.

And we worked on that for a month.

He was like, oh, he goes, I'll take it back to AMC.

And he called me up the next day and he was like, grab a joint.

I was like, why?

He's like, I got to tell you something.

I said, all right.

I lit up.

He's like, like, I fucking took that idea to AMC.

I was like, get the fuck out of here.

He's like, they liked it.

And I was like, really?

He's like, yeah, they want to do fucking a sizzle reel and shit.

They're going to give us 10 grand.

I said, 10 grand?

What is a sizzle reel?

He goes, it's like basically a pilot, but a shortened version of what the show will be.

And I said, is 10 grand a lot for the sizzle reel?

He goes, we'll probably burn through it on the location alone.

And I was like, what do you mean?

He's like, well, we got to find a comic book store.

We can't find the world's most acerbic comic book store staff.

We don't know if we have a show.

So we have to shoot a sizzle reel.

We just have to find a local comic book store and make it seem like this is what the show would be.

I was like, so you need people on camera.

And he said, yeah.

And I was like, all right.

I was like, well, I got a comic book store.

And that was the first time I'd mentioned it, like in a month.

And he was like, what do you mean?

You own a comic.

I said, yeah.

He goes, why did you say that?

I was like, it sounds braggy.

I don't like to say it out loud.

But yeah, I own a comic book store.

He goes, we can fucking shoot it there.

That's the show.

He's going, it's not a comic book store.

You own a comic book store.

And I was like, well, I'll tell you what, man.

I said, the guys at the store, they do a podcast called Tell Him Steve Dave.

And they're really fucking funny, man.

So tonight, I'm going to send you some links.

Fucking smoke up and listen to the first five episodes of Tell Him Steve Dave.

So Charlie went home, fucking smoked up, and then Charlie called me up the next day.

And he goes, You're a fucking idiot.

This is the show.

And I was like, What do you mean?

He's like, These two fuckers who sound like they've been married for 10 years, man, like they're hysterical.

We got to meet them and shit.

I was like, Really?

Fantastic.

Oh, my God.

I said, Well, the problem is they're not really into TV.

Like, they like watching it, but I don't think they want to be on it and shit.

And sure, to course, of course, when I asked both of them, they were like, Oh, fuck no.

Brian's big thing was, I don't want to look like an asshole which is perfectly brian johnson but not brian johnson anymore brian johnson i knew was that guy who was like i'm austra wolf yes now now he's just like dressing me up like big batman please but isn't that going on the assumption though that like if you're not high you won't come up with any ideas oh that's that's ludicrous only but only i could point to the fact that there was a time i wasn't high and didn't come up with any of the these ideas so in proof i can actually point to that yeah if you get what i'm saying though it's like i i feel like you're selling like selling yourself but do you get what I'm saying?

Like, if I could have done all those things without being a smoker, I would have, but I didn't.

They didn't happen until I was a smoker.

Never in a million years would have said to Charlie McClellan, like, you should do a TV show about a fucking comic book store unless I was fucking stoned.

And never in a million years would he have been like, I'm going to take that.

So if you weren't smoking, you don't think you would have had the, you don't think that that meeting wouldn't have even happened in the first place.

The only reason the meeting happened was Elise, who was Elise Sidon, who was responsible for comic book men.

She was the guy, the lady who knew fucking Charlie and put us in the room and shit.

I was like, Elise, I don't, she goes, my friend wants to talk to you.

And I was like, with all due respect, like, I'm good.

I don't need to.

And she's like, he just talked to AMC.

And I was like, oh, AMC, they make Mad Men.

I like Mad Men a lot.

What is he talking about?

She's like, he, I don't know, he just wants to talk to you about doing a show.

And I never take those meetings, but she was like, he's a stoner.

And I was like, oh, all right.

Well, fucking, I'm going to be smoking weed anyway.

So if Charlie wants to come and talk, have him come over.

And it was all born in a blaze of smoke.

So he goes back and listens to the show falls in love with it and then he decides that like these guys are the show and so that's when you guys get introduced to amc amc comes down and meets people and like that so the whole of comic book men is born in a haze of smoke literally born out of weed and i can honestly tell you if i wasn't a stoner i would not have been that ballsy i became much freer when i became a stoner um much more

out of myself.

You know, I was always trying to keep up an image that I thought I had to keep up.

And then when I became a stoner, I just let go of that all and I was like, I don't care what it looks like or what I look like or what people think about.

I got one life.

I'm going to do this shit because this sounds fun and shit.

And it just freed me up for the possibilities.

Like if you listen to the first few smodcasts, like the first year of smodcast, it's a completely different show from what it became.

The first year of smodcast would never have birthed tell him Steve Dave.

But the second year of smodcast, when I'm, when I'm a stoner, like after I do Zach and Mary and I'm like, oh, fuck life.

And I just become a flat out stoner.

I'm like, this will help my career.

This will help my fucking marriage and shit like that.

Once I embraced that, suddenly I was like, you know what?

I'm thinking way too seriously about all this shit.

Like, it's a miracle that any of this fucking shit happened.

And why are you so serious?

You made fucking clerks.

Like, you know, I was always out there positioning myself as a serious writer and shit like that.

And it's like, bro, you made clerks and mall rats.

Like, you're fucking lean into it, man.

Lean into it.

So once I started smoking weed, I leaned into everything in a big, bad way.

So those things wouldn't happen if I was a stoner, not a stoner, because I've been like, not meeting with some fucking guy that you know.

Like, no, I've got my own thing going on here.

So definitely that began in smoke.

And then comic book men, unfortunately, comes to a fucking conclusion.

And the first call that went out was about Brian.

Nobody was concerned about Walter because Walter had a job at the stash and shit.

And also for years, Walter was always like, is this show over yet?

And

he grew to enjoy it and love it and embrace it.

And I still maintain to this day, and I don't even say this facetiously or just because we're friends and I'm obviously very affectionate about you, but knowing you and knowing the role that you played on that show, it's a crime that you did not get an Emmy.

And I'm not talking about an Emmy for reality TV.

I'm talking about best actor in a fucking anything.

So, and you can see, like, as the seasons go on, how much better he gets at it.

Like, where fake Walt is like,

it's the moment they start letting him do shit, and they start that by the end of first season when they do the commercial episode because that captured his imagination.

and that's that waltz is the walt that is responsible for what you guys do now.

The walt of like,

I think being on that set of comic book men really would also like you know, uh, kick-started some sort of like, oh, okay, that's how you do it, and that's how you do this.

Probably can do this, like, what do you want to do?

And it's like, well, I want to do this, like, okay, and then it came on the heels, too, of you, no, well, now you have to do this.

Like, comic book men was something that was done for and around you.

But when you start the Patreon, then you're like, I've got, I'm responsible for creating content.

Without content, we don't have an audience.

Without an audience, there is no fucking point.

So you are forced into a position of like, we got to create stuff.

And now you get to make all the calls.

Like, it's not like, you know, Brian Dichelle was a wonderful fucking

collaborator, but Brian Nichelle, at the end of the day, could be like, well, don't do this, or let's leave this out or something like that.

He could, if we did it, yeah, he could take it out afterwards.

Take it out afterwards.

Now, this is something where like you have complete control and authority over it.

So it production came at the right time.

Like it's never once during comic book men did you look around and be like, we should do this.

But it was necessity, was the mother of invention.

And suddenly you realize that you have tools to actually do this fucking thing because you've sat around watching other people do it.

And also you've getting help from outside fuckers and going like, hey, man, fucking come help us because you got a fan base that's creative as fuck.

All right.

We're going to put a pin in it again, man.

Our ongoing conversation, Smodcast, TESD conversation.

First hour was over on Smodcast.

Second hour, you've been listening right here on the TESD podcast or watching it happen on their Patreon.

Third hour, we're going to break right here, and there's going to be a third hour of this shit.

You don't want to miss the third fucking hour, particularly if you're a stoner, goddammit.

Third hour of this shit will be on Smodcast and on my YouTube channel, the Kevin Smith YouTube channel and stuff.

But for now, we stop that conversation.

You got to end your show proper, though.

I feel like I'm doing too much talking on your show.

I was wondering, I was like, well, just say, tell them Steve Dave.

Tell him, Steve Dave.