#473: Keep it De-real

Dude, not even I'm riled up.

If I'm not riled up,

I think everybody everybody needs drugs except me.

I'll just FaceTime you during every shit I take.

Just in case.

Tell him, Steve, Dave.

Hello, and welcome to this week's edition of Tell him Steve Dave.

I'm here with my friend Walt

and my other friend Q.

Hello.

Q, I am so happy to see you, and we are seeing you.

Even though we're recording in different spaces, places, we still get to see you via Zoom.

You're beautiful.

Thanks, bud.

It's good to see you guys.

How are you feeling these days?

It's taking a downturn, man.

It's ups and downs.

This fucking virus.

I can't implore anybody listening, whatever you got to do to avoid getting this, do it.

I don't give a fuck if they want you to put your head in a plastic bag.

Do it.

Be careful.

No, do it.

Do it.

It's fucking crazy, man.

It's just crazy.

It just doesn't end.

It's like you're good for three days, and then on the fourth, fifth, sixth, and seventh day, you're just like, you can't even fucking move.

It's nuts, man.

This seems unusual.

Like, for other people that have gotten it, they seem to get it.

It's a horrible course, and then they get better.

It doesn't linger like it has to be.

Really?

This has been so far, this has been the experience I've seen a lot of people having.

Really?

On my end.

Yeah.

My one of my agents was like, You're going to think you're going to be, you're going to think you feel fine.

You're going to want to go for a walk.

Don't go for that walk.

And I was like, and of course I was like, oh, I feel pretty good.

Let me go for a walk.

And I'm like, oh my God, I feel like I'm dying.

Yeah.

It's crazy.

But like, some days I'm fine.

Like, sometimes I'll wake up and be like, oh, I feel pretty good.

It's nuts.

It is bonkers, man.

And because of, now they found out that COVID can cause

blood clots.

So because of my stroke, I got to go through all the fucking tests I did five years ago again.

And it's like, now I'm sick.

I'm going into Manhattan to Mount Sinai, and I'm fucking in an MRI for 40 minutes.

It's just like,

I don't know what to say, man.

I don't know what to say, man.

And I like to think of myself as like a pretty, like, you know,

not tough but like resilient but like i'm finding like going to mount like mount sinai and going in the in the in the machines it's it's not ptsd or anything like that but that's the only way to describe like this anxiety like that comes back just going through all the brain stuff again

it's not something you can help though like that just to call it ptsd may be accurate like if it's not it's like you don't have to necessarily have shell shock you know like you're in a fucking war or whatever like ptsd comes in so many forms that something like that which was a huge

life event for you, man, where it's like, holy shit, this could like, I'm what, fucking, you were what, 40?

When I, when I went through that, yeah, I was 40.

Yeah, so for it to be something that is like, it is not a minor event

could definitely like do that to you.

I, I, and it was like, I went to see my, because like, after a while, I was like, enough is enough.

I got to go see a doctor because I can't just ride this out.

Something's got to happen.

And I went to the doctor and like

I was not prepared for him to be so concerned about the stroke.

I didn't even think it would, it would be,

I didn't even think it would come up, but he was like, all hands on deck.

You got to get this checked out.

So I was like, oh my God.

Fucking come on, man.

Like, come on, man.

Come on.

Come on, man.

Now, when you hear this, Walt, does it make you feel like maybe we didn't have it?

Or do you still feel?

Well, I mean, yeah, because, you know, Q had thought he had had it earlier, too, and he was,

I guess he could have gotten it twice, but you could have.

But it seems like you don't hear a lot of reports of people coming down with it twice.

There have been a few, but not like you haven't seen the media reporting on

a lot of people getting it twice.

So it does give me,

it does make me question if we had it, but.

I don't know, man.

It's like, I think everybody's just ready to fucking just

want to be done with it.

I mean, it's, yeah, it's, it's,

it's only been a year, but it feels like it's been a hundred years.

But think of a year of it, man.

I was talking to Mosier about it yesterday a little bit,

and we were talking about like people getting pissed off because they got to wear masks going into supermarkets and shit like that.

And, you know, Moji, he makes me laugh.

He's like, he's like, how great is going to Trader Joe's?

He's like, how great is it?

Do you love going to Trader Joe's?

And I'm like, no, I fucking, I don't even, you know, no.

And he's like, so putting on a mask, he's like, is it ruining the Trader Joe's experience?

Or do you still want to just get the fuck in and out as fast as possible?

And I was like, when you put it that way, yeah, I get, I don't know, man.

I don't know.

I don't know what to say.

It does fucking ruin certain experiences, though.

I mean, there's no doubt that when you want to go and do something, it's like you have to remember the mask and wear the mask.

Like Mary Beth and I went down, it was real nice out.

So we went down to the boardwalk and we went to the Silverball Museum to play pinball.

Now, the pinball place,

little warm for a day day when it was like, you know, approaching 60.

But after an hour, I'm like, I don't want to be here anymore.

Yeah.

Like, I just don't want to be here anymore.

But is there any places that you can think of that after an hour, you don't feel that way, though?

That's when I'm not wearing a mask.

So you're right.

I mean, you, you've seen to have that kind of, like, for your, for all, ever since I've known you, though, you've had that kind of like, I don't want to be here anymore.

You know what?

You spend a few minutes there, and then you have, you're like, I don't want to be here.

You're right.

And we had this conversation yesterday, my inability to enjoy things in the moment.

Yeah.

And that is a long-running thing

to the point where I'm like, do I have fucking depersonalization disorder?

Where's that?

You probably do.

I don't know what it is.

It sounds right.

I'm going to say it's a good chance you do.

I think you might be right, Dr.

Flanagan, because

it's this thing where, you know what, let me read the

exactly what it is.

But essentially, it's like you feel like you're outside yourself witnessing other shit, like you're witnessing things as they happen, not out-of-body experiences.

Almost.

Oh, this is an overkill?

We could turn it into that, yeah.

I do, yeah, we do, because I had a couple articles after this that I personally chose for UQ.

You know, that's what I do now with my time.

It's no longer working.

I just look for articles I think Q might be interested in.

I was at the store and

I was just so excited when an article popped up.

And I remember turning to Giddam and being like, this is a good one.

This one's really going to rock his world.

I just imagine you're not even looking on the internet, but clipping articles.

So it's a disorder in which the person has a persistent or recurrent feelings of depersonalization or derealization.

Depersonalization is described as feeling disconnected or detached from oneself.

Individuals may report as if they are feeling, if they, god damn it, individuals may report feeling as if they are an outside observer of their own thoughts or body, and often

report feeling a lack of control over their thoughts or actions.

That part, I would not say, is true.

But the other part is definitely, even when I was young, I remember the first time it happened, I was, you remember that kid, Chris Hoxie, I used to hang out with?

I was at his place, and I remember standing outside his apartment with him and this girl.

Her name was was Kim Luby.

And they were talking.

And I remember feeling like I was not above it, like, you know, hovering around and shit, but almost like standing next to myself, like I'm not really a part of things.

You know, if I go to a concert sometimes, I feel that way.

Like in large groups of people, I feel that way.

I mean, I think that's normal, though, because I think that is normal, like, especially for people who aren't comfortable, like

getting down.

you know, like at a concert.

You see dudes, they're so into it.

You look at them and I'm just like, I'm embarrassed.

This is cringeworthy.

How into it the music they are.

We went to the Iron Man and show.

Do you remember those guys around us?

Yeah.

A lot of air guitars, a lot of shirts being torn off.

If you could air guitar in front of a group of total strangers in your 50s and not feel like

you're not going to be the object of ridicule.

You better depersonalize real fast.

I don't know.

Yeah, I don't know if I would agree, though, that you're this like, you know, this lost cause or you're.

Oh, I don't think so, but I'm just trying to fucking figure it out, man.

Um, I did stop taking that DepiCote shit, the stuff that was, like, stops me from getting angry and shit.

Stop taking it, huh?

I had to stop taking it.

It was getting me fat.

Yeah.

It was getting you fat?

Yeah.

I was like, why am I fucking gaining this weight?

I'm not eating any differently.

I'm doing the same shit.

And so I'm trying to figure it out.

And I looked up Depicote, and it's like, it's one of these medications that, like, yeah, you can expect to put on like 10 to 25 pounds.

I was like, cock sucker.

How does that work?

I'd rather be fucking pushing holes in walls.

How does that work, though, if if you're not eating more how does how do you gain weight slows down your metabolism yeah

so what happens if the rage starts coming back well he gave me he gave me lithium

oh that's the nirvana song right yeah so now I'm gonna be very morose and writing songs and shit yeah

I'm gonna get emo on everybody

no he gave me that but then there was the uh

the feeling of like and I wanted to to consult you, Walt, because I know you're drug-free.

I'm like, what if I just didn't take anything?

Like, what if, because when I was taking that Depokota, I'm I was like, I don't feel like myself.

I don't feel like I'm having the same thoughts that I had.

Like, my mind feels muddled, like over the past, like, I don't know, six months or so.

Like, muddy, like,

slower.

And I didn't even know if maybe you guys noticed something.

I would not suggest to anybody, you or anybody even listening to go drug-free if you because, like, I think there's only, there's very few people that can go drug-free

i feel i was a fool to think i was one of them

i was being honest i don't know i don't i think everybody needs drugs except me i would agree with that i don't know i mean i don't know that sounds crazy but i'm like every everybody needs to be medicated but myself and a few other people sunday jeff is another guy that doesn't need i don't think he needs any kind of uh any kind of like

what's the what's the word i'm looking for kind of chemical assistance with life yeah yeah i don't think he does i think there's there's people but i i

think though that there's drugs that can absolutely

make life better for people, and they should definitely not never feel like, oh, I want to be drug-free, so I can't take it.

That's ridiculous.

Yeah.

Well, I didn't mean I wanted to be drug-free because that's not happening.

But what I am saying is, like, those kind of drugs, like prescription shit, that stuff that alters all your brain chemicals and all this stuff.

They stopped giving me Adderall, which I found, Q, has had a profoundly negative effect on my life.

Oh, you didn't get any more Adderall?

No, I wasn't able.

This goddamn insurance I have, man.

Like, you call doctors and they just don't call back.

They just don't call you back.

And it's a fucking psychiatrist.

It's not like, hey, I want to get a fucking nose job.

Are you saying the right things?

Like, if you don't call me back, I'm going to kill myself.

I bet she'd call you then.

But I mean, you might get the boy who cried Wolf, though.

But with Adderall, I'm like, if you don't call me back, I won't be able to pay attention.

Or maybe if you don't call me back, I'll kill you.

You say,

I'm trying to kill him, maybe.

There you go.

Yeah, myself, he's like, I don't even know this guy.

Why would I care?

Yeah, him is a lot more invested in.

That's good.

I'm going to leave that message.

Oh, uh-oh.

No, I'm all right.

You're right.

I don't like that.

What do you think?

No, I'm okay.

About what?

About this situation with the

drugs.

His

self-diagnosis here.

I think that,

you know, I might,

I don't want to say on microphone that I might now be able to break you off somatarol, but

I might be able to do that because

I got my prescription refilled

and I am not taking it because of my brain right now.

So,

you know, I might have

some medicine, man.

I might have some tic-tacs for you.

Oh, all right.

And this Adderall does what?

It helps people focus.

Yeah, it really helps focus.

It's fucking awesome.

Yeah, it really is.

As long as you don't abuse it.

And that's the thing, like, I never abused it.

So that's why, like, obviously the Oxy and shit, I definitely abuse it.

Well, what would be the downside of being too focused, though?

If, like, you abuse it, and what will happen if you abuse it?

Well, no, people.

It won't be too focused.

It'll just.

You just get too sped up.

It's because it's speed, basically.

Yeah, it's uncomfortable.

You just get jittery and you shake and stuff.

You sweat a lot.

I mean,

my prescription is 10 milligrams.

It's very low.

Yeah.

So it's like, I don't even know if some people are on like 50 or something like that, right?

Like, it's a crazy amount.

I was taking sixty a day,

twenty milligrams three times a day.

But after not having had it since September, and all this, it wasn't like the doctor was like, you can't have it anymore because of anything to do with me.

It was the corporation who bought his practice decided that like

dude like they just instituted this new policy that if you weren't the original prescriber, you can't continue to give these drugs to whomever.

Now, the original prescriber for me was a shrink in LA, and that was like fucking 2007 or something.

So it's like I've been going to this doctor for 10 years, over 10 years.

So

it didn't occur to me that it should be a problem, but you know,

can't he prescribe he can't then make himself the one prescribing it for you?

Like I don't understand.

I think something like that,

it takes a lot more than a general practitioner is able to like I think he probably could, but he's like,

New Jersey is so fucked with all these Schedule One narcotics and shit that he just doesn't want to deal with it.

It's not worth it to him.

He's like,

his practice was bought.

He was like, it was him and some other guy.

And the other guy handled all the details and then took off, like retired once everything was done.

And now he's like, now I'm stuck with this corporate bullshit that he can't stand.

He's like an older guy.

It's like when Cheers got bought by

the company.

Yep.

And it was like a chain restaurant for a while.

Yeah.

That's exactly it.

I don't know if he'll ever go back back to his own practice, but I can't rely on him.

But yeah, it seems like shrinks are not in the habit of calling you back in a timely fashion.

I mean, they're probably overwhelmed, right, Q, and this day, especially at this point with the world dealing with COVID and the amount of people in need of help.

I imagine they're just like, there's just not enough shrinks out there.

And I'm sure they're not feeling great on their own either.

They're like, fuck, man.

Here's the thing, though.

I don't care about any of those people.

They care about me.

That's a good point.

Too many patients?

Fuck you.

See me.

So, Q, you said that you got the first part of the vaccine, too.

Do you know which one you got?

Yeah.

So they gave, sorry, I guess.

So they,

so

because of the symptoms and everything, there was this new

study that came out that said if you're dealing with the long-haul effects, if you get the vaccine shot

within a certain time frame of having it, it will act

as a furnace to burn it out of your system.

It gets all your immune system up and running to kick out the remnants.

So, yesterday, and because I had the stroke, I was able to qualify for a shot.

So, for the vaccine.

So, I got my medical.

My doctor wrote me a doctor's note.

I went down and I got the first Moderna, Moderna shot.

And that was yesterday.

And woof.

It was.

Funky Cold Moderna, it sounds like.

Nice.

You remember that song?

Yeah, Funky Cold Medina.

It was basically like a date rape drug, right?

Yeah.

I guess that's not going to be re-recorded anytime soon.

Good song, though.

It was one of the few rap songs I dug.

Oh, yeah.

Did you like Wild Thing as well?

I liked Wild Thing as well.

Yeah, I like the safe rap.

Little tone loke.

Yeah, yeah.

Yeah, so I got a shot, the first one yesterday, and it was a rough haul for the first day.

But today, I felt okay for most of the day.

But this is around the time of day, every day, that

I start winding down.

Good or bad, around 6 o'clock, I start losing it.

Yeah.

Yeah, but it's, you know what?

I still consider myself extremely lucky, and

I'm still, I never felt that I was in any danger of like dying or anything like that.

So, you know, that's a lot better than a lot of other people have been.

So, I'm still feeling very grateful that it didn't get as bad as it did.

And I'm trying not to look at the fact that I was so careful for a year and then fucking blew it at the end.

Oh, man, it's just such a blow to my confidence.

Like, everything sucks.

Now, the fives got their shots, and Mrs.

Five had a bad reaction, so much so that Frank told me.

He started dating.

No, Frank told me he had to, like, this is like when it gets really bad.

Like, I don't know if this happened to you, Q,

and I don't know who would help you, but he said he had to help his wife on and off the toilet.

Whoa.

If you think that was bullshit, she just get back at him or whatever.

No, I go, that's really a bad reaction.

So she was that weak?

Yeah.

Whoa.

Yeah.

No,

it wasn't that bad.

Who would you call?

Who would I?

I would just shit my pants.

You get one of those

toilet seats that you just sort of carry around with you.

Use it as a walker and then in the pants, you're like, but what if you get on there and you make it in time, but you can't get off?

Who are you going to call?

You just can't sit there for days.

You got to call somebody.

Who are you going to call?

Well, I'll probably call you because you got a lot of time on your hands.

I knew it.

Yes, I'll be there, brother.

This is the guy you're going to call.

He seems so happy.

Guy who got uncomfortable watching the monkeys in a bathtub.

Yeah, I'd call Walt.

Walt's a reliable guy.

He's a friend that shows up.

Yeah, I'm down for that.

Yeah, brother.

Yeah, you got that call.

Just throw a towel.

Walt.

Yeah.

Throw a towel over the bad parts, and we'll get it done.

You know what, buddy?

I'll start taking a towel to the bathroom with me every time now.

Just the phone.

And I imagine that the Q estate has to be.

Or I'll just FaceTime you.

I'll just FaceTime you during every shit I take.

Just in case.

But you have a bidet, I imagine, right?

Somewhere in the house?

So I imagine that it's just a matter of me getting you up off the toilet and getting your trousers in place and maybe just helping you to the bed.

I probably won't have to do anything else.

No, you won't have to wipe or anything like that.

It'll be fine.

If Walt wasn't available, would you have to call like an IJPA or something, maybe?

No, I mean, look,

Sal's close.

Sal lives close to me.

He would do it.

I think anybody would do it.

You would do it, Brian, if I called you.

I've taught you.

But I'm ready to move in just in case it happens.

He's your full-time bathroom attendant.

Like, so much so he doesn't even ask.

I keep bugging him about it.

I'm like, you think you might need help?

I can wait here.

Like, Brian will just be in my bathroom with like a tray of mints

in a jar.

Yeah, like I work at a strip bar.

You know what medicine I like talking about?

Don't call it medicine.

I literally have to cut that out now.

I can't believe I said that.

There's a whole lot of rules and regulations now talking about this next ad.

Yeah, I think it's unbelievable.

I think people have gotten a little loose and fancy-free with talking about our buddies over there at Blue Chew.

This episode is sponsored by Blue Chew.

Blue Chew is making waves and bringing more confidence to the bedroom.

Blue Chew is a unique online service that delivers the same active ingredients as Viagra and Cialis, but is chewable form and at a fraction of the cost.

Blue Chew's tablets combat all forms of ED and can help men gain extra confidence for when it's time to perform.

Blue Chew is an online, underline prescription service, so no visits to the doctor's office, no awkward conversations, and no waiting in line at the pharmacy, and it ships right to your door in a discreet package.

Here's all you got to do: sign up at Blue Chew.com, consult with one of their licensed medical providers, and once you're approved, you receive your prescription within days.

The best part, it's all done online.

Blue Chew's licensed medical providers work with you to find the right ingredient and strength for your prescription.

And if you don't like swallowing pills, no problems here.

You just chew it on up.

Blue pills, sidenophil, and

tadalophil.

tablets are chewable, and Blue Chew's tablets are made in the USA and they prepare and ship direct, so it's cheaper than a pharmacy.

So if you could benefit from extra confidence when it's time to perform, visit bluechew.com for more details and important safety information.

And we've got a special deal for the listeners.

Try Blue Chew free when you use the promo code TESD at checkout and just pay $5 shipping.

That's BlueChew.com promo code T-E-S-D to receive your first month's free and your first month's free.

And we thank Blue Chew chew for sponsoring the podcast all right blue chew

that is uh that's a fun tablet to take i tell you q

i saw you're uh expert in the uk type stuff

you're uh yes you're a big fan of the uk uh

did you see that they're

They're suggesting perhaps after this murder of a girl over in London, one of the Green Party's Baroness Walt.

Her name's a Baroness Jones.

She suggests a 6 p.m.

curfew for men.

Oh, okay.

She said it would make women a lot safer and discrimination of all kinds would be lessened.

I guess except against men.

That would be

the only one.

So, so, like, I don't understand, 6 p.m.

every night of the night meant.

So, Saturday nights in the club would just be all women from 6 p.m.

on?

I guess so.

I mean, it seems that's what this article is saying.

I mean, I guess we're just at the point where anybody's opinion is just broadcasted.

I mean, obviously, that's something that nobody's ever going to take seriously.

It's just like, why are we even hearing something so absurd?

I don't know.

Because there's so much shit out there and so, like, you know, in terms of news outlets and all this other stuff.

I think the media must love to get people riled up, right?

I mean, they just.

But who would get riled up by that?

Nobody's going to listen to that and be like, well, this is something I got to worry about happening.

Dude, not even I'm riled up.

No.

If I'm not riled up, nobody's riled up.

Well,

did they catch the person that killed this lady?

Yeah, it was a cop.

Oh, fuck.

So it's like, how safe could it fucking be then?

But I was going to say, because we don't know unless they, you know, had the murder suspect.

Like, we don't know for sure that it was a dude.

But most likely, it probably.

But even then, we don't want to go on

profiling that all most murderers are committed by men.

I don't think we even want to do that, do we?

What's that called?

Well, we don't want to profess like a form of profiling, isn't it, though?

That most murderers are committed by men?

I'm not sure.

I'm catching myself in a noose here, I think.

Most times, yeah, like, I mean, just say one.

Oh, I want to say that.

Say white men.

Say white men.

And you'll be fine.

Yeah, but if they are responsible for it, fuck it.

Call them out.

Oh,

look.

Oh, yeah.

If a woman's getting killed, it's probably a white guy.

Oh, yeah.

I mean,

yeah, there's just too many of us.

Maybe this should be like a purge.

It's like a purge night.

Yeah,

this is the feminist cue coming out.

They would embrace you for that.

Well, only because I'm home by 6 p.m.

every night anyway.

But what if

halfway through the night, you're like, oh, man, I can't get off the bowl.

Now Walt has to break curfew.

Come and try to help you.

Speaking of the UK, did you see the Megan Markle uproar and everything about the interview?

What's your opinions on that, though?

Like, not the interview, but Prince Harry getting married and then being like, you know what?

I don't want to be in the royal family no more.

Do you think that's like, hey, you know, that's a guy being like, you know what?

I'm sick of the pomp and circumstance or whatever it's called in

all this like.

Royalty just turns me off.

Like,

I want to be a common man.

Or do you think to yourself like, hey, not many motherfuckers get to say they're royalty and you just just turned your back on it

yeah i will say this i i i don't i don't care about the royals i i like if anything i'm i'm inclined to be against them in any situation so i have no dog in my fight and i do not care in any way shape or form and i nor did i watch the interview so this could be the most uninformed thing ever and i'm fine with that but it's like i just i'm just like from what i've heard i'm just like the fuck did you think was gonna happen you married into the royal family.

Like, what the fuck did you think was going to happen?

Like, you knew, like, what, like, what didn't you know?

Like, what the fuck didn't you know?

Like,

it's like,

it's, it's like, fuck off, man.

All of them, everybody in this situation, fuck off.

Like, I don't care about anybody in it.

I'm just like, whatever, man.

You, you, you,

it's like, what did that we say years ago?

You go to sleep with the fucking devil.

Oh, yeah.

Yeah, don't expect to wake up with God.

It's the royal fucking family, every weird thing that you've ever heard about them.

You're going to breeze in there as an American and fucking be fine.

Like, fuck off, man.

But on the other side of that, fuck you guys and the Royals.

Like, who the fuck are you guys anyway?

Fuck off.

You guys are a tourist trap.

Like, I don't want to hear any of this shit.

So, you know, that's my opinion on it.

It's gotten ugly, though.

Good.

What, with Piers Morgan jumping in your mouth?

Well, just a whole situation.

I just feel, I just just like,

I think about it like if it was my family and, you know, and I had to like go and...

The royals?

The royalty of Middletown.

If it was my family, you know, and then my daughters went on TV and were like, you know, the disowned me, the family and everything, how hurtful it would be.

Like Walt was asking how dark our kids' skin was going to be and shit.

It's just, it's just, you know, it's just a sad situation because it seems like that dude's a pretty good dude, Harry, because, you know, he went and fought on the I thought at the front lines right during the

wasn't he a helicopter it was him or his brother yeah but was he was the one that wore that Nazi uniform too

that's a good idea

yeah I just don't I mean they seem like like they're good guys though especially Harry and I don't know about

the older brother.

I don't know what his name is.

I can't remember his

William.

Harry, I I agree.

Harry is the only one that I've ever observed very, I've never, I've never done a dive into the Royals.

You know what I mean?

Like, I've never, but in when I've observed them, just being part of a culture, he's he always seemed like my guy.

Like, you could be friends with him.

If you're going to be friends with any of the Royals, this is the guy you do.

He was partying in Vegas with all those girls.

Remember, you got in trouble with that for having a big fucking suite full of girls in Vegas.

He's wearing fucking weird costumes on holiday.

Yeah, people want to say that's weird.

I'm trying to stick up to my boy here.

Now I'm on his side.

He seemed like if I had to pick a royal, he was.

Yeah.

It seems like the other guy, what's his name, William?

He seems like he may have a stick up his butt even farther than I do.

You know, so I don't even know if I could chill with that dude.

Wow.

Well, he's got to be the king one day.

Yeah, well, yeah, he's definitely going to be king one day.

I don't think the father is ever going to get there, right?

Nah, the mother's 96 now.

She's got, I mean, come on.

I mean, he's probably going to be king for like less than a year before he fucking kicks it, probably.

He waited all that time.

Well, that's what you get, though.

You're a douchebag, though.

What did he do?

He fucking fucked over Diana.

Like, cheating on her?

Yeah, he's lusting for her.

Wasn't she cheating on him, too?

Only after he did what he did.

Did her dirty, so then she was like, I'm going to get some of my own, too.

Camilla Parker Bowles.

They're not as refined as the media tells us they are.

Remember, all the like, I want to be your tampon and all that.

Yeah, that shit's hot.

Yeah.

That's a weird thing to say, right?

They're a bunch of,

you know, they're not as freaks.

Yeah, they're not as.

Well, wasn't Prince Andrew was in trouble for the Jeffrey Epstein shit?

I mean, Jesus.

They're up to all kinds of stuff over there.

So maybe, so would you, if you were a prince, Q, if you're a Harry, do you, and your wife is like,

I want you, I want to leave the royal family.

Do you say, okay, we're going to leave?

Or do you try to convince her?

No, no, I'm a prince.

I don't want to leave.

I don't even know if you're.

Oh, what's that noise?

That was his question.

I had to pick my phone up to look at something.

Oh, sorry, sorry.

I didn't hear what you said.

Sorry, well,

if you were, if you were a prince in the royal family and you got married and your wife is now really bagging on you, she's like, she's really making it into, like, she's like, I don't want to be a royal no more.

What do you do?

Do you like, and maybe do you try to stay?

Or do you like, or do you like, you know what?

I've had enough of it too.

No, I kick her immediately to the curb.

You're a fucking royal.

You know how rare that is?

Yeah.

It's like, how many people get to live this life?

And I met you three years ago.

You think you're going to come in here and fuck up our shit?

Like,

some actress coming in being like, hey, guess what's the new fucking regime now?

Yeah, like, that's actually like, you know, without knowing the facts, that's, I, you know, it probably doesn't say very good about me, but my instinct is always to be like, what makes you think you're going to come into an establishment like this and start making changes?

Like, just shut up and take the fucking money.

And that's it.

Have you seen that?

That's what I would say.

Have you seen my new app?

But you know what?

Credit to her, though.

She did it.

She fucking did it.

She got a prince to be like, turn her back.

turn his back on royalty.

Is that a statement on like the level of Poon?

Like, is it next level?

Because this is a royal.

He must have gotten all kinds of asshole.

Oh, my God.

Yeah.

It must be like

magic.

Yeah, magic Poon Tang.

Yeah, I hope so.

I hope for his sake.

It's good.

Yeah, I don't know, man.

I would not leave.

I would milk that for my entire life.

Especially being him, the royal that has no responsibilities whatsoever.

I'd be like, this is great.

Like, I get all the benefits and none of the downside.

Like, yeah, this is great.

Yeah, it's nuts.

I had heard that people were complaining at first that their wedding was like 40 million, I guess.

Is it Prince Harry that got married?

Okay.

But they thought it would bring 100 million in because of like hotels and restaurants and tourism and all that other kind of inject 100 million into the economy.

Into the economy, right?

So that's why people are like,

how much did it lose then?

I don't think it lost anything because it cost $40 million.

But it put $100 million into the economy.

So who pays for that?

Taxpayers.

Yeah.

Oh, yeah.

The Royals are.

They do.

They do.

But

the Royal Family, as I understand it now, is just a tourist.

Like, they bring in money

just by being there.

Like, tourism and merchandise and stuff.

They make more money for the country than they cost.

Gotcha.

And it gives the country an identity.

So

I think that people overall, I think most people of that hate them.

But overall, I think economy-wise,

they're good for the country.

You know, who loves the Royals?

It's Mrs.

Five.

Really?

Yeah.

Were you there that day we were talking about it?

I was talking to Frank about it up at his place, and he said that she's super into the Royals, like watch the wedding.

It keeps abreast of all that Royal stuff.

Yeah, no, I think that I remember in the 80s.

I don't know if you remember this, Q, but I'm sure you remember, Bri,

when Charles and Diana got married, it was major, major, major shit here.

I I don't think the last two weddings probably were as anticipated or excited the world as much as Charles and Diana did.

More going on now?

Yeah, it may be a case of like, you know, the world just got smaller with the internet and everything.

And I just don't know if it was as engaging

as Prince Charles and Diana was.

I don't know.

But I think it was because of Diana.

Well, I mean, Diana is so much more likable than this Megan Markle person, you know.

It seems like Megan Markle's just stirring up shit, being like, we're not at royals anymore.

But that's after the marriage, though.

So I don't know if that's really the case, though.

Like, I don't think she was not, well, she was disliked before the marriage.

I think everything started to come out after she got married.

My fucking grandma doesn't like anybody.

You know, she fucking doesn't like anyone.

The queen?

Yeah.

She's too old to be bitter.

That'll be some funeral when she dies.

You'll see the fucking all hands on deck for that.

Oh, yeah.

I mean,

like a century of being like basically the queen of England, it'll be like insane.

Would you try to get over there for that?

I don't know.

Don't care.

The way you feel right now.

I could be in the tip-top shape.

I'd be like, I don't want to.

I remember you were really into England and stuff.

Like, when we first started this podcast, you were like all about England.

I haven't heard as much.

Well, because I used to go there way more often.

Like, you were into the pop culture there.

You were like like England's adopted ambassador.

You taught us

that raccoons don't have rabies over there.

I mean, you were all about it.

I haven't really heard you talk about it much, so I guess you've just kind of been just too busy to keep up with what you're talking about.

Well, it's, yeah, like, I think as IJ ramped up and the busyness ramped up, everything else took a backseat, and everything in that backseat had to be ordered according to importance.

I just wasn't able to go.

And now when I go to England, like when we go there on tour and stuff like that, I fucking love it.

And I have a total blast.

Like, I still love going there.

I would love to live in London one day.

I still harbor that.

I would love to go there at least just once.

Yeah.

Yeah.

But Tusdy Cruz.

Somehow, some way, I would love to go there and Australia before I die.

And that's it.

I don't need to see any other places.

Australia's a fucking hole.

You can do it, though.

I mean, once you retire, you got time.

I mean, that's all you got is time.

I can't retire.

We're even going to clip articles for this guy.

In fact, Bob Williams, I'm leaving tomorrow, motherfuckers.

I mean, really, I don't think I am.

I think I'm literally retired right now.

I just said that to my wife the other day.

I told her, I was like, I didn't do anything today.

And

it's really like fucks your head because you're just like, this is not normal.

You'll get used to it.

Don't be like Harry, bro.

Don't fuck it up.

Some of these articles, while clipped, are interesting.

One, I can't read unless I sign up to Popular Mechanics for 40 bucks a year.

Which one was that?

It was the Live Forever one.

Okay, I have it here.

There we go.

Yeah, I thought this.

Have you ever heard of a Dyson sphere?

Q?

A Dyson sphere?

Yeah.

It looks like something out of Aliens and the Matrix Combined.

The picture that I saw in the article, right?

Yeah, it looks almost like an atom or something.

Like H.

G.

Geiger-ish-looking thing, but it's.

Let me see.

Let me look this up.

Dyson sphere.

It says humans can't build a Dyson sphere yet, but the researchers say nanobots could do the job one day.

Imagine this in the far, far future, long after you've died, you'll eventually come back to life.

So will everyone else who has ever had a hand in the history of human civilization?

I mean, we don't need that, do we?

Well, that means, though, that Q, they're definitely going to be able to bring him back if somebody wants him back, though.

Right,

we've got more IJ IJ to record.

We're on season 126.

So a Dyson's view.

I have read about this in comic books and stuff like that.

It's a hypothetical megastructure that completely encompasses a star and captures a large percentage of its power output.

That's pretty cool.

Well, I thought it was something that was going to like...

It will provide a super intelligent artificial agent with the enormous amounts of power it needs to collect as much historical and personal data about you so it can build your exact digital copy.

Once it's finished, you'll live your whole life again in a simulated reality.

And when the time comes for you to die, again, you'll be transported into a simulated afterlife.

How amazing.

Like, they're going to take, like, you know, how much Tell them Steve Dave we've recorded?

We have recorded enough episodes where we all three of us could easily

be

constructed digitally.

Wow.

And like could be brought back to life for other people's amusements.

Oh, like

that.

It wouldn't be that different from how I feel life is at the moment.

This monkey's dancing and fucking tap-dancing his way through life.

I know.

You got COVID that got you out there doing a fucking soft shoe.

Did I fucking mention that I shot in Practical Jokers today?

So, you know, tap, tap, motherfuckers.

It says, once AI creates your precise digital copy, anything is possible, even restoration to biological life.

The AI will doggedly search for your DNA.

It will even dig up your grave because only then will it be able to create a clone of your physical body wherein your digital copy will find its temple.

So I guess they got to save your body and make sure it's like...

What I took.

I mean, you really want your...

Like,

it means you're born again?

Like, is it a clone?

No, see, what I took it was as is, let's say you have a loved one that passes on, and you have now the ability to create an artificial intelligence

version of your loved one by putting all this data into

some sort of software.

And by taking all those episodes of Telum Steve, Dave, and like, and refining our humor and the way we think and the way we speak,

there is little doubt that we could have one of the top digital versions of ourselves if somebody wanted it.

You know, like if it would be all the hits?

Like, if one of us was to go before the other two and we want to continue Tome Steve Dave,

we literally could do it this way.

See, I like to think of all three of us dying together.

Yeah, but it wouldn't be us.

It would just be

as close to us as humanly or digitally possible.

It seems like

go ahead, Q.

But I even think that, like, if they found a way to upload your brain into

a robotic body,

I don't think that'd be us.

I still don't think it'll be us.

No, it wouldn't be us, but I'm talking about it'd be for other people's.

Like, let's say you're like, you have a loved one and you want to bring them back digitally.

You, you almost could have a real conversation and based upon

so it's like Jorrell.

Yeah.

Jorrell in the Fortress of Solitude.

Yeah.

You nailed it, brother.

It's what I do, man.

I take Superman, I inject him into as much as I can.

It's cool.

I would talk to my grandparents like digital avatar if I could.

You know, I mean, I think you would start to feel like you would start to lose the fact that they were digital over the course of time of talking to them and like

getting responses that would really fool you that like you know, these are these really are them.

Wait, when you say digital, are you talking about like watching somebody on the screen or like or like I'm talking to you right now?

I think it would be all software.

I don't think it would be a real human being talking to them.

It would be like it would be like Alexa.

Oh, okay.

That's how I see it.

She's always listening, though, Alexa.

Can't have my grandparents listening in on the show that I do.

It's pretty cool.

I think we'll see something like that in our life.

But that's not the article that I thought was going to blow your mind, though.

That's not the one.

Living forever, being immortal?

That's not the one.

Here it comes.

Here it comes.

The yellow one.

Oh, the yellow one?

Yeah.

Hey, don't call me that.

Let me see here.

Okay, Q.

So

Cardinals are known for their bright red color, but an Illinois couple had a one in a million experience

with a member of the species in a different hue.

I mean, since we called it yellow, I guess we pretty much

ruined that.

The yellow cardinal, you say, yeah, pure yellow,

like tweety birds.

Pretty cool.

It does look pretty cool.

I'll send you the link.

I'll look it up.

If I type yellow cardinal,

you're going to find a million articles.

And

my

query to you is:

how is is this newsworthy?

You brought it up.

But

there's like so many articles about it that I'm just, I'm astonished.

He's begrudgingly clipping articles for you.

I'm astonished that this actually makes the news, though.

I don't care how rare this bird is.

Why?

It's a nice.

I just don't care.

I'm just like, I'm shocked that

this made the news and is such a big deal, though.

The coloration is due to a mutation in the bird's DNA that blocks the normal red pigment and replaces it with a yellow color that stems from its diet.

Almost all land birds have eaten.

I eat a lot of corn.

A lot of corn, a lot of popcorn.

Oh, he looks awesome, man.

I do love it.

I like that.

That's cool.

You want to put it out there that you'd like to get one?

Maybe for your land?

I would like it to nest in my yard.

I don't want to capture anything.

you know and or anything like that but uh yeah i would love it if this this bad boy flew into my my yard.

You know, it would be so awesome if that half male, half-female cardinal and this yellow cardinal got it on

see their offspring.

And then you had the only one.

And then you had the only one that hatched on your head.

Half red, half yellow.

Yeah.

Cardinal.

Oh, that would be great.

Dude, they're cool, man.

He looks cool.

I'm into it.

Wow, he is, they got a lot of pictures of this guy.

You ain't kidding.

I'm just like,

there's so much terrible shit going on in the world.

And I'm like, this is really some reporter had to cover this shit.

And the thing is, it's not like there's so much terrible shit going on.

Can I at least get some good news?

Show me some good.

It's like, this is indifferent.

This is like

negligible.

I don't know.

I'm pretty good at news for cloud news.

Like, I'm liking it.

Okay.

Well, I guess there's a small segment of the population that's going to be.

I'll tell you what, I'd rather read an article about this bird than an article about the Royals.

Or more COVID shot.

Fair enough.

Yeah.

I'm into it.

So you brought it for him, but then now you're shocked that he likes it.

I got one more, though.

I got one more.

Remember, I sent you another one, too, about Netflix.

Oh, yeah.

Oh, Netflix.

Yeah.

This one's dicey.

Looks controversial.

This could hit a lot of people where it hurts.

Right in the old pocketbook.

Okay.

Netflix is cracking down on password sharing.

Oh, sorry, Carol Quinn.

Looks like you're fucking tongue something.

You're not going to go buy your own account.

It just goes off.

I had to change my password to like mom123

because they just kept forgetting it and stuff like that.

It could signal the start of piracy crackdown by the streamer that's historically looked the other way on password sharing.

Spotted by GammaWire, some viewers attempting to use someone else's account are now being stopped by a screen that says, if you don't live with the owner of this account, you may need your own account to keep watching.

And they confirm the new feature, which is getting a limited rollout at this time.

I mean, my question is, why wouldn't they do it?

Well,

I brought you a very

non-opinionated article about it.

Because there are a lot of articles out there right now about it that like with anger and like resentment at Netflix for doing this.

It's insane.

It's wow.

You mean spending the last decade building up an entitled world

is resulting in people not being happy about having to pay for a service that they use?

Who saw that coming?

Did you happen to notice what their argument was?

Like what stance to it?

Well, first off, they scoffed at it.

They were like, yeah, okay, yeah, you're going to be able to do this.

The Internet community is smarter than Netflix.

They'll get around around it.

No, a small percentage of the internet community is smart enough.

If suddenly, like, Q, your mom is like, hey, what happened to my Netflix?

Hey, I should just hack Netflix.

Like, that's not going to happen.

It's not going to happen.

What will happen is I'll end up adding her to my account, and I'll end up paying for it.

Right.

Now, has anybody here willing to

confess

stealing from any of the big major streaming services in the past year.

Is Disney major?

Disney's major.

No.

I'll just say, bullshit.

Listen to this, motherfucker.

Listen to this.

I knew he was watching The Mandalorian, so I knew he had Disney.

So I texted him a couple weeks ago, and I was like, hey, man, can I borrow your Disney password so I can watch something?

And he wouldn't give it to me.

Really?

He wouldn't give it to me.

Now, do you want to know the reason I wouldn't give it to him?

Because I don't know.

I don't know it.

It's not my account, and it's Mary Beth's mom's account.

So I don't know the password to it.

So we now know the pecking order now.

It finally comes out.

I'm telling you, you need me more than you need Mary Beth's mother.

Yeah,

that's true.

I couldn't believe it.

I just sat there staring at the text for, like, no, you can't have it.

I didn't write that.

I'm like, absolutely not.

How could you?

I hope they start a feature that blocks shit like this.

Go ahead, Q.

I said we should get a Telm Steve Dave account for all of these.

Oh, fuck.

Just

put it on the corporate card, and then the three of us just share, like Netflix and Disney and all that shit.

And it's all a write-off.

It's a tax write-off, baby.

We're doing research.

Why aren't we doing that?

All right.

I'll text you guys some passwords.

But aren't we going to get caught, though?

I mean, me and Bry are okay.

We live close enough.

They're not going to find out, but you're kind of far away.

We're going to get flagged and we're going to get brought up on streaming charges.

Maybe, but

what are they going to do?

Right now, they're just putting out these pussy-footed warnings.

We'll know.

We'll know when the time comes.

I don't have business.

I don't have business with them.

I don't care.

Let's do it.

HBO Max,

I can't steal, but the rest I can.

Now,

have you been guilty of giving out a password?

Oh, you said you have with your mom, right?

Oh, God.

My parents have it.

My nephew has it.

Yeah, I've been pretty free with it.

To make up, I'm going to give you my BET password, Walt.

Anything you want to watch.

They have a streaming service?

Dude, they all have a fucking streaming service.

Every time I want to watch something, it's CBS, it's NBC, it's BET, it's this, it's that.

What do you expect, though?

Why are you that?

I'm entitled.

I want it for free.

Tell them, Steve.

Tell me to say, tell them.

No, not yet.

Yeah, we got an ad.

We're only 50 minutes in.

We're still partying.

What's the ad?

Was that the third article?

That was the third article.

Yeah, I just found it like

I was wondering

if this would affect any of us at the table,

these new kind of strict regulations that are coming down the pike on the streaming services.

It's a concern.

Not for me.

How am I supposed to make $13 a month?

I mean, you know, cancel cable at this point.

Isn't cable like $80 a month or some shit?

I don't have cable.

Yeah, just make it up that way.

I had to start going through my phone book to find somebody who would just randomly picking people.

Live Disney Plus.

I would have given it to you, dude.

I would have you I'll give you mine.

I actually got somebody, you know, somebody who gave it to me, and I will never betray their trust.

And I'll take it to the grave.

They could torture me.

it was Sunday Jeff no it wasn't Sunday Jeff doesn't have it no way how does he watch Mandalorian yeah

somebody else has it

I got you

I have a TV show that oh you want to do the ad we'll do the ad yeah we'll do the ad real fast this uh this could make you feel better Q you've been taking your vitamins I have I have Care of is a wellness brand that makes it easy to maintain your health goals with a customized vitamin plan that helps you feel your best today and supports you long term.

Where high-quality products meet personalization, all of Karev's products are formulated with a good-for-you, clean ingredients that are backed by science.

Enough people don't pay attention to science anymore.

Quick, reliable results thanks to Karev's online quiz.

Karev's in-depth five-minute online quiz asks you questions about your diet, lifestyle, and health concerns to help you address your specific wellness goals.

Karev's holistic online quiz is like getting a one-on-one consultation with a nutritionist all without leaving your house.

And if you follow Karev's expert recommendations or just adjust your pack at any time, what you receive is totally up to you.

You're going to celebrate the little victories.

It says February here, but let's talk about March.

March can be your fresh start.

If you fucked off February, March can be your fresh start to the new year.

And your resolutions don't have to be big.

Small, impactful changes are just as important like adding a daily vitamin to help you support your energy, sleep, or fitness to target those goals, whether in the short or long term.

I still get them.

I like them.

I'm pretty crazy about the, it's just packaged per day.

Here's the vitamins you have to take per day.

I'm thinking about just going vitamins Q.

None of that prescription shit.

Done with it.

Okay.

So for 50% off your first care of order, go to takecareof.com and order code TESD50.

For 50% off your first care of order, go to take care of.

That's T-A-K-E-C-A-R-E-O-F.com and enter code T-E-S-D-50.

Let's hear about that TV show you were talking about.

Yeah, so I started watching

Superman and Lois on the CW.

The new, yeah, I've avoided all those CW superhero shows because I just, you know, I know what comes with them.

I know it's the dramatics and the

long shit, right?

Yeah, I'm not into it.

I know people are, and I'm not here to look down on them, but it's just not my deal.

You know what I mean?

But Superman, I'll give a shot no matter what.

And man, I think they are

doing a good job

the character of Superman, Walt.

I think you should give it a shot because this version of Superman, I think, is a Superman you'll really, really like.

I don't even know what you're talking about.

There's a new Lois and Clark TV show.

Well, it's called Superman and Lois.

And it's Superman and Lois move back to Smallville.

Is Team Kane involved?

No, it's a new Superman.

It's a new Superman.

Oh, okay.

And he has two teenage sons who don't know he's Superman.

But the version of Superman, Walt, every time I watch it, there's been four episodes so far.

I think I got to tell Walt about this because it is classic fucking Superman.

Does he get in the costume?

He gets in the costume.

Yeah, a bunch.

There's a bunch of Superman.

There's a bunch of fighting every episode, but

he is the Superman we remember.

The one we love.

Clark is nerdy.

Dean Kane.

And overly...

No, not Dean Kane.

I never watched Lois and Superman.

I only saw a few episodes, and I was like.

He's like, yeah, he's kind of been

trying to erase Dean Kane from history as playing Superman.

I wonder why.

Are they really?

Yeah, I mean, I tried to take it from him just because, you know, he's a little right-wing.

So they're trying to

say he was never really Superman.

Trying to rewrite history.

Well, I would say he's conservative, right?

Maybe not right-wing.

Like, right-wing is a bad kind of thing.

All right, we can get conservative.

But

I don't want to sidetrack you, though, here on this version of Superman, which has nothing to do with Dean Kane.

No, nothing to do with Dean Kane.

Unfortunately, no,

I think you'll like it, Walt.

I think you won't like the Lois Lane stuff is like

they're cramming it in.

She's great as Lois Lane, but like her storyline, where you're like, it's like justice for society.

I'm like, all right, we got it already.

Can I just like every moment that she's snooping around Smallville is a moment that Superman's not punching someone.

You know what I mean?

So there's that.

But he is like nerdy and overly good natured.

Dude, it's like it is a Superman you haven't seen in a while.

Oh, okay.

I feel like

no, it's the CW.

Like, like,

they give him something to hold.

They give Clark Kent something to hold, and like, he drops it because it's too heavy, and everybody makes fun of him.

Like, shit, like that's going on again.

That's what I mean.

It's old school Christopher Reeve.

I was going to say, there's

flashes of Christopher Reeve are dancing through my head.

Exactly.

He's like a nerdy dad, and like he makes dads.

It's exactly how you want Superman to be.

It's cool.

They haven't given a lot of PR to this, have they?

A lot of ads or anything?

I don't even know this exists.

I don't know.

Yeah, I don't know.

I picked up on it and I just started watching it.

And, you know, there's some teenage drama.

You got to follow those kids at school.

But the kids are really good.

They're fun to watch.

I think everybody on the show is doing a really good job.

Okay, and I can watch this for free, huh?

Yeah.

Okay.

I'm going to check it out.

Yeah, I thought you would dig it.

So

I kept meaning to tell you, and I just never got around to it because my brain's been imploding.

But yeah, it's been really good.

How deep into it for shows?

Oh, it's only four episodes.

It's only four episodes.

Yeah, it might even only be three.

There might only be three.

I think you'll like it.

Yeah.

Cool.

And did you watch WandaVision?

Did you finish WandaVision?

Yeah, I watched it all the way through.

I'm done with it.

What'd you think?

In the end, what do you think?

In the end, I felt it was an unsatisfying resolution.

I mean, you know, just an unsatisfying last episode.

I really was kind of just like, huh.

Were you horny for the rest?

I liked it.

Everything up until the last episode.

Me, the last two episodes.

I just felt like it just wasn't

wrapped up

neatly enough for me.

And I just, yeah, it kind of like was an unsatisfying ending for me.

What about you?

Yeah, I think I have the exact same

feeling as you.

Something happened.

I started agreeing with the guy who was supposed to be the bad guy.

Oh, yeah.

Like,

why was he the villain?

Why the fuck is he the bad guy?

Everything he did was correct.

It was like, why are

he in.

I was like, why is he getting arrested?

He's right.

Somebody tell me what he did wrong.

And people are like, he shot at kids.

And I'm like, they're not kids.

They're fucking imaginary creatures that she made up that have superpowers that are threatening his soldiers.

Like, Wanda had guns pointed at his fucking face and told him to go away.

She took over a town and tortured kids.

I'm like, why is he the bad guy?

And that Monica, the photon, I'm like, she fucking sucks too.

I'm like, she's sitting there like excusing everything that Wanda does.

In the end, she's like, I would have done the same thing.

And I was like, really?

You would have taken over a whole town and tortured children and adults.

And fucking, I was like, it's so weird that everybody is seeing him as the bad guy and her as the good guy.

Well, it's almost like one of those moral mirrors.

You know, what do you see back

after you watch it?

You know, there's a large segment that doesn't see anything, that does see the guy who was like, I'm going to take down Wanda for what she did as the bad guy.

And there's another segment that doesn't see a bad guy in that guy.

Yeah, and people were like, well, he's bad because he didn't respect the vision's last wishes about not being a weapon.

And I was like, look.

This motherfucker, he lives in a universe where aliens attack and some maniac snaps out half of the universe in existence and all this crazy shit that goes, this god's Thor's running around.

I was like, and he, and like, so he has a chance to protect us, but he shouldn't because he's got to respect the wishes of a man-shaped fucking computer.

I'm like, who gives a shit?

Like, I don't care if Vision was alive.

Take him offline and use him as a weapon.

I don't give a fuck about him.

I was like, he's, I'm like,

everybody's gone insane.

Everybody's lost their mind.

He's using Vision's body as a weapon.

Good.

Good.

So the next time a space maniac wants to take over planet Earth, we might have a defense.

But I'm not, because Wanda's sad about it.

Oh, Wanda's sad.

Like, fuck off.

And then they're like, yeah, but Monica, but yeah, but Monica, he tried to arrest Monica.

I'm like, oh, you mean the woman that disappeared for five years, came back out of nowhere, came back to work for four weeks, disobeyed every order, then gained superpowers and used them against him?

Oh, did he have a problem with her?

It's like, fuck off.

Fuck everybody, man.

Fuck all of you.

You know what, dude?

I want to tell you this.

The last episode of IBI Comics, there is a big push by the listening

community of ours to rename IBI Comics into the Gatekeepers.

Really?

And that rant right there.

Tells me that they are right on target.

I think that, yeah, I love that rant.

But is there a gatekeeper?

This is my point.

Wait, this is my point, though.

I'm not a gatekeeper because I watch the same TV show as everybody else.

Right.

And the writers set up that situation.

They intended us to be having these conversations.

Like, I'm not gatekeeping.

Like,

everybody should be free to have their opinion.

But if your opinion is that Wanda is a good guy, you're a fucking maniac.

You're a fucking maniac.

And if she had taken your family or, God forbid, you, under her spell and tortured you, like you, I don't think you would think that Haywood was a bad guy.

I just don't.

I'm sorry.

I don't.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you, everybody.

Nothing more deserving of a go.

Yeah, thank you.

Thank you, everybody.

Thank you.

Thank you, everybody.

Yes.

I know I'm a bad guy for, you know, taking the side of the law.

Yeah.

Before we go, can I announce something?

Please.

Looking at May 2nd

for the very first ever Tellum Steve Dave Day celebration in TSD Town.

Fuck yeah, man.

May 2nd.

Yeah,

I was really trying to go for May 5th.

But May 5th is a Wednesday, which would have been 5.5.

So I guess you know whose day it is.

Well, that's the beauty, though, of

Cinco

TSD Mayo.

No, no, this isn't Cinco TSD Mayo.

No, I thought you were like, that's why it could have been 5.5.

What is that, like the fourth day or something?

No, I wanted it to be 5.5 because it's Frank Five Day.

Oh, it's going to be Frank Five Day.

It's Frank Five Day.

And I wanted, since it was the fifth month, it would have been awesome to try to do it on the fifth, but that's a Wednesday.

I think it might be hard to get

the five go.

To move it to the second, which is a Sunday.

And the first 55 people are going to get free buttons.

That's fucking awesome.

I don't know if we get 55 people to come down and meet Frank Five at the general store, the TSD general store at 65 Broad Street.

Oh, he's doing an appearance.

Frank Five's doing an appearance.

He's signing all day.

I don't know what he's signing.

Whatever you give him.

Walt's going to set up a toilet right next to him in case Ms.

Pive needs to go.

Go ahead.

Are there any rules in the stash for how many people could be in it with the camera?

Yeah, I'm definitely going to have to make sure that only, you know, our little room probably only three people at a time so not 55 in there at once yeah

but we're gonna

it's gonna be a little mini celebration for one of the OG members of the TSD town community you know he was there not at the beginning but pretty close don't you like it's weird like when we first met Frank 5 you could have never predicted how much you would have liked him

how much how integral he'd become how much you want to spend time with him when he's here yeah yeah good dude nice guy.

And

so on that day, Q,

I set it up.

Gidden will be there.

Sunday, Jeff will be there because it's a Sunday.

I'm sure Bry is going to pop in, and I'll be there.

I don't know if you can make it, but I'm sure if you can, you'll be there.

If I can, I'll be there.

You'll pop in.

Absolutely.

And so it'll be like a chance for, you know, if you want to come down and meet Frank Five.

I'm sure Mrs.

Five is coming too if she's regained her strength.

That's how long?

Two Two months from now?

That'll be a major concern.

She actually, I'm not in my joke about that.

She's definitely recovered.

She only, it was two days of, you know, like toilet duty.

She's 100% better.

And I have a good feeling she will be there as well.

On May 2nd, Sunday, there's going to be balloons.

Thinking about hiring a clown?

All right.

You know, I don't know what he will do with the clown.

Yeah, I was going to say.

Maybe he'll get him in clown makeup.

There you go.

And I don't know.

We'll try to make it worth

anybody who comes out.

I mean, I don't think we'll.

I mean, again, I don't know who we'll call from.

You know, people who listen are from all over the world, so I'm not sure how many people are going to be able to make it down.

But, I mean, we're like 55 people is what we're hoping for.

People have asked me personally how far in advance we would know about this kind of stuff because they want to come.

That's why I thought I'd.

I'm not talking about people from like like down the street, like across the street.

Oh, really?

We're going to have balloons with the number five on them.

I looked into like pre-printed balloons with Frank's face.

We're drawing them.

We're just writing five.

Yeah, we're just going to write a number five on the balloons because it's way too expensive to get.

It's like $50 a balloon, basically.

No, not that.

It's crazy.

It ain't worth it.

We could just write the number five with a Sharpie on it and get the same effect.

People would be just as happy.

Yeah.

Oh, you'll get the same exact respect, that's for sure.

So put it in your calendars if you can come down.

And the first 55 people who

are in line will get a little Frank Five button.

I figure every time we do one, we'll start a button club.

Oh, like Disney.

Yeah, right?

People love that shit.

Those are sought after and traded.

Ours will be more popular than Disney's.

I think that's so.

Yeah, well, at least more.

They'll be in lesser quantities, that's for sure.

55 buttons.

55 is very rare, yeah.

All right, but that's it.

That's that's all I got.

But I don't know if we're actually doing anything special other than just hanging out there.

Hanging out with five?

Yeah.

But I mean, what's better than just fucking hanging out, shooting the shit, saying hello?

Yeah.

You know?

It doesn't have to be a whole big thing.

Right.

No shucking and jiving.

Don't worry about that.

No, I can't imagine that I won't be there for at least part of it.

It sounds like fun, yeah.

Wait a minute.

So I told Frank he definitely has to shuck and jive.

Oh, okay.

Well, I was talking about Q.

Okay.

Yeah.

Frank Five better be fucking get those dancing shoes on.

He's not important enough.

Tell him, Steve Dave.

Sure, why not?

Tell him, Steve Dave.

Let's let Q off the hook.