#472: Senility Smiles

If I get a little fat in my mouth,

that's all no good.

I like the ice colour.

They need your fecal matter someday.

Tell them, Steve, Dave.

Hello, and welcome to this week's edition of Tell'em Steve Dave.

Unfortunately, this week we are cue-less.

However, we do have Waltz.

Yo.

We do have Sunday Jeff,

fan favorite.

And an even bigger treat, get him Steve Dave.

Howdy, y'all.

It's been a while since you've been been on Tellum Steve Dave.

Proper Tell him Steve Dave.

You popped.

Not just sitting in the floor.

They might be on quicker than I was.

I don't remember the last time I was on.

It couldn't have been that long ago.

It was probably a while.

All right.

Welcome back.

People are complaining.

You feel left out Sunday?

What's the name of the show?

Nah.

Well, the other shows feel the same too, so.

Right?

Yeah.

Yeah, they all blend in together.

That's why I'm like, what are you talking about?

I just know now I'm sitting in a huge chair, so now I know I'm.

gonna, we're going to get like a little

piece of fabric that we can tape over there when baby seat.

Yeah, that booster.

A little J on it for you.

Oh, nice.

I want to get this folding chair over here.

We'll get a

white-out marker.

We'll just put a

G on that folding

card table.

Backward G.

Simple G.

I have good news for,

I guess, all of us.

Get him.

How old are you?

42.

42.

All right.

You're still in your early middle age.

I found this chart that really breaks it down.

Early middle age is 35 to 44.

So you're just a kid yet.

Late middle age, 45 to 64.

So we're still middle age for 11 years.

That's crazy.

Almost retirement.

This is a chart that definitely was made in 2021.

Oh, I wrote it.

Oh, okay.

To reflect the new standard of middle aged, right?

You think so, like 64?

64.

54 is the new 44.

64 is the new 54.

But I hate to just keep bringing it up, but like middle age has been redefined by

great men like Tom Brady.

I just can't stand to keep bringing it up, but I'm like, yes, he has redefined.

Wait, I'm surprised you didn't say he's ageless.

He's not middle-aged.

He's ageless.

And Tom Cruise.

Right?

I mean, those two Toms.

Every year Tom Brady succeeds.

He's so

readjusted.

Tom's going the other way.

Yeah, Every year Tom Brady succeeds,

he erases the landscape of what's middle-aged and what's not middle-aged.

So, like, for all us old-timers,

if you're not rooting for him to succeed, you're just rooting against yourself.

You're rooting for yourself to fail, yeah.

Like, it kind of agreed

because it shows like what, well, if you have really superior genes, what you can do.

But even if you have 10% of those genes, you could still do some fucking middle-aged damage.

Yeah, so what was the middle-aged window again?

Late middle-aged is 45 to 64.

That's what we ought to consider.

It's a 20-year window right there that you're allowed to stay in late middle aged.

20 years you're allowed to stick around into middle-aged

late middle-aged

late adulthood, 65 plus.

Then you're over with.

Then nobody cares about it.

Do you think Tom Brady donates blood?

No.

Oh, okay.

No.

No, I don't think he lets anything get into any needles get into that.

I can't have anybody break my bread.

Did you have a COVID needle, you think?

He went to Florida for a reason, I think.

I think, you know, he, yeah.

I mean.

Does Texas have a team they may trade him?

Yeah, but.

Like, I was wondering if someone got a transfusion of Tom Brady's blood.

Could there be a difference?

I don't know.

But going back to your chart, though, so what is before 45?

Middle age.

35 to 44 is early middle age.

So you're early middle age, get him.

Do you feel your clock is ticking?

Oh, I've been feeling it for years.

Yeah.

Yeah.

How do you approach that now when you hear the clock getting louder and louder?

I weep into my hands.

Tick.

Yeah.

At least he's honest.

How close to Tom Brady do you feel?

It's like weird.

Like I'll hear something and I'm like, oh, that just happened.

And I think about it.

I'm like, wait a minute, that happened 12 years ago.

And it's just like, what the hell have I done since then?

I feel that way about mid-90s stuff.

You know, like, oh, this movie had just come out.

Silence of the Lambs had just come out.

My wife had just been born.

But no, it's just, yeah, like I hear about something, and I'm like, oh, I'm like, that happened 12, 15, 16 years ago.

And I'm like, you know,

what could have been different?

What tent poles have you planted in that time?

I hate asking that question.

Why?

On a personal level, the same thing.

Oh, it's not that good.

From this period to this period, what could have been different?

I'm like, everything.

Like, what if I had gotten one of my exes back then knocked up?

Like, she would have stuck around, you think?

No, I don't know.

But I would at least be.

I would have had my two front teeth.

I would have like a child.

I would have a child at this point who's like almost

into their teens.

149.

Now, this would have been how long ago?

Like, I said, like, 12, 16 years ago.

Like, just, you know.

So, 16 years.

So, DNA evidence was just really starting to come out.

No, OJ had happened years earlier.

OJ had happened late 90s.

Would you want a DNA test?

She's like, you're the daddy.

Don't even try getting a DNA test.

No, because I would probably know who was mine.

I would, you know, I wasn't really hanging out.

When it came out?

I wasn't really hanging out with floozies that were.

But just because it comes out with no teeth doesn't mean it's yours.

Oh, I had teeth back in, too.

I think most kids come out like that.

Like, like pre-2003, I had front teeth still.

Oh, really?

So, yeah, like, I still, you know, it's those questions.

Like, if, like, that night, I was stuck at a traffic light, and my ex and I at the time were having.

What night are we talking about here?

The night my teeth got knocked out.

Okay,

um,

my ex and I were like, we're having a little bit of an argument, and so I'm at a stoplight.

It's by Ocean County College.

If I had gone straight, I could have gone home.

If I had made a left, that's when I went to where the pool party was.

So I'm stuck at this light, and I contemplated

that night.

I contemplated going straight because we were having a fight, and I'm like,

I'll just apologize to her tomorrow, and we'll be okay.

And I decided to make that left-hand turn.

I don't mean this in a way to sound

dismissive.

Yes, you do.

It's going to sound that way.

Starting off that way.

But are you

pointing to your teeth getting knocked out as the reason why you don't have any tempoles?

You really think that...

No, I'm just saying

it's along those lines of things that could have been done.

So you think your life would have been dramatically different if those teeth didn't get knocked out?

Could you imagine that, though, if you change, like he went the other direction, he winds up having a child.

He's the president of some major corporation.

He lives in some fancy house.

If you went down that way and be like, look what happened.

Do you think any of that?

No, absolutely not.

But I'm just saying

it would be interesting to see that.

I don't know if things would have been that different, though.

Other than that, he's got two

front choppers with everybody.

He'd be like this.

He'd be like, son, let me show you about this.

Let me teach you about needless information.

He would have been circling the auction with his son all day.

Well, that's the thing, though.

It doesn't sound like you think you guys would be even together, though.

So you're saying that

you would have a son, but you really wouldn't.

Well, I didn't say I was going to get her knocked up.

I'm just saying, you know, I could have had, you know, subsequent

practice safe sex.

Sometimes.

Mostly.

Giddam rolling the dice.

Yeah, and everybody,

just let's stop down for a second.

I want everyone to think about Giddam not losing safe sex.

Or any sex.

After we were going on for a little while, she got on the pill, so, but it was still, you know, by whose choice, hers or yours?

I think it was.

I didn't push her.

Oh, you fucking mandated it.

No, I wouldn't do such a thing.

I think she wanted to do it on her own.

Really?

Just, yeah.

Woke up in the morning and be like, you know what?

I better go on the pillow.

I'm not sure if you're for a blind guy.

Yes, the one who left you for the blind guy.

Touched a bullet last night.

She was the one who left you for the blind guy.

So would you be okay if she left you?

She's like, he's going to raise your son.

We'll get him.

That's a toughie.

I would want to be involved in my child's life.

But what does the blind man do for a living?

Isn't he a lawyer?

No, I think you.

Fuck a daredevil?

He's going out a daredevil?

Wait, wait, yeah, I think I am confusing.

He does skydive.

This guy, Matt Murdock?

He does skydive.

He does skydive, so I would consider that a daredevil.

But

when they started, he was a psychologist.

He was going to school for psychology.

Last I saw,

they had him like his one, he works for TDT Bank.

Because they have him like one of those...

Bank psychologists?

No, no, no.

They featured him as

when companies feature someone disadvantaged in in their business and they do like a five-minute video about the person.

So they disabled.

Yes, yes.

That's disadvantaged.

So last I heard, yeah, he was he worked at a bank somewhere, a TDD bank.

And what, what does, what does your former girlfriend do?

She's a psychologist.

Child psychologist.

Two psychologists living together.

That's got to be.

Oh, they're constantly

each other.

She's a child psychology.

Yeah.

You know what a child psychologist wants to analyze adults.

You know they do.

Okay.

I like to.

Okay.

Wow.

So you think that

with

not going to that pool party, you would be somewhere different right now?

Yeah.

You think that was the event?

No, no, no.

I don't think it's a launching pad.

No, I don't think it's like that big of a change, but at least I would have still have, I'd still have front teeth.

Where would you have been?

And I probably would maybe feel a little better about myself sometimes.

But here's the other tentpole.

You could have front teeth right now.

That's right.

These are all the.

No, I mean, real front teeth, not something that I'd have to like worry about, like falling out or

called implants.

Yeah.

Yeah, but you still have to worry.

They can still.

Well, that's the best you're going to get today.

Yeah, yeah.

Yeah, but you can get those, and they're fucking pretty damn solid now.

Pretty expensive, yeah.

Again, at the end of the day, what are you worth?

Every time I ask you about something, you're like, it's too expensive.

I won't spend that kind of money on me.

What are you saving it for?

Dude, you're on a fucking road to an early fucking exit.

And then all that money that you're going to be able to do.

It's going to change that middle age, the late middle age code.

Yeah, you got to fucking start treating yourself a little bit better, man, and being like, okay, I'm going to spend a little bit on this.

Well, maybe when I hit middle age, I'll go to my midlife crisis.

Let's middle age now again.

One more year.

I think he's been in that crisis.

I've been early middle-aged, yeah.

Oh, okay.

Do you see yourself having a middle-age crisis, Sunday?

Nah.

You seem too even keeled.

Yeah, I don't really even worry about age to tell you the truth.

Well, you can get rid of that Prius, so I think he's maybe a middle crisis.

That wasn't my fault.

He's got a Corolla.

Oh,

yeah.

Chick magnets.

That's no Prius.

Well, you know, it's just.

Well, you know, a Prius is the vehicle of a responsible adult.

Well, I had one, and somebody smashed into me and took care of that problem.

So why didn't you get another Prius and help save the planet?

They don't like that Prius that I have.

I like that Prius.

There's other Priuses out there.

Yeah, I don't like the new Prius.

I don't like those Priuses.

Do you like the Priuses?

Breathing air and not having fucking winters where it's 100 degrees out?

Yeah.

I live in a state case like that.

You've got to make up for guys like me who are going to be able to get a lot of money.

This is the guy that's got your muscle

Yeah, I'm fucking taking on all your fucking carbon footprints on my own.

Nice.

You fucking, you fuckers.

Oops, see him cursing.

You guys are.

He's all agitated.

That's how you get him.

Yeah, you guys are like, just don't care about the ozone layer.

You don't care about

global warming.

You're all in your little hot rods.

Yeah, that's it.

That's it.

Cruising the strip right up every night.

Coach Ferrari, Corvette, Corolla.

It's right up there.

It's right up there with the big guns.

I'll use three kinds of Aquanet on my way over here today.

Reitgaard, I still buy.

Don't you use an aerosol perspiration?

For what?

Deodorant.

Deodorant.

What?

Why would you think that?

Because isn't that one of the things that were one of the primitive categories?

Didn't you say that they made, I think we had a discussion one time that Reichard has that they still make a spray?

Is that possible?

Oh, yeah.

When I was taking road trips, I forget where I was going.

I grabbed an aerosol deodorant.

But when I'm at home, I mean, I use a roll-on.

I care about the environment.

What do you mean?

I recycle.

So does everybody else?

I recycle.

Okay, so then how come the Flanagan household doesn't have all Priuses?

I saw some hot rods in that trip.

I like the atmosphere, but

I'm trying to convince everybody in my family to maybe buy a Prius.

My wife says it doesn't have enough balls for her.

Oh, I see.

So maybe

she's having the midlife crisis.

She's actually said that she.

I saw her driving the other day in Brian's car.

She said she likes when she steps on the gas.

She

doesn't feel like, you know, that she wants to feel like she can get somewhere without having to put her foot through the floorboard.

She wants to rumble, not a

car is so old it probably does go through the floorboard, right?

And I'm like, where are you going?

That you're in such a hurry.

Where are you going?

Where are you going?

Get so

All this stuff.

I've been doing this.

Well, actually, we're late middle age.

We don't have to worry about going fast.

We still got time.

64, I believe.

I wonder what it'll be like.

Because right now I'm like, I can't believe I'm 53.

That's 63.

When are you just like, holy fuck, it's over?

Or is it not over until it's over?

That's what Yogi said, right?

It's never over till it's over.

No, it's over for Yogi.

It is over for him.

What is it?

Age is just a number?

It's really.

I think so.

I think it's just a matter of how, you know, how.

Let's get to Sunday, Jeff's Secret to Longevity.

Just have a young mind.

Stay young.

Yes, young mind.

You have a boyish charm.

I watch fucking cartoons.

It's good to see you.

Slingshot.

I got one of those paddle balls with a rubber ball on it.

I planned to use that on my brake.

Giant wheels.

But

when I compare you to other people in my life, though, you have this kind of boyish energy.

Not in a bad way.

You're kind of like noobish.

What's that called?

That nubile kind of like.

Oh, nubile.

Yeah, he's like coquettish.

It's kind of like, you know, you have that kind of like bounce in your step.

Sometimes I look at Giddam walking when he's walking across the room and I'll be like, oh my God, he's walking and he looks like he's 100 years old.

But when I see you walk by and I'm like, I was like, this is the first time hearing all this.

I can see it.

You walk by, I'm like, oh.

Got some pep in the step.

Yeah, I was like, who's that teenage dude?

With the gray hair.

Head full of gray hair.

Yeah, so it's all, it's all, it's all, do you believe it's all about a state of mind?

Yes, and also

the condition of your body.

Yeah.

Because that, yeah.

That will play a factor in how your mind will

be able to fool yourself and convince yourself it's all just a number.

I mean, when you can't stand up straight when you get off the futon in the morning, you know, that kind of sets the tone for the whole day.

Again, but these are things that like you are allowing yourself to live this existence when you don't have to.

Oh, no, no, I'm just saying my back, yeah, my back hurts.

It's just a.

We could change all that.

With a better bed.

Even with the better bed.

Even with the bed, it was still, you know, getting up and getting the creaks out, the cricks and everything.

The bad ankle.

I mean, the chronic fucking kidney stones.

I haven't had a kidney stone in a while.

It's building up.

I've been taking those pills.

I do wonder, though, what will it take, Yadam, for you to be like.

There's nothing.

No, there's nothing that can.

I've come to the realization.

You got to sell the house.

There's nothing that will change this man.

He is as stubborn as

any mule that's ever walked the face of this planet.

He's as stubborn as them.

He has

a distinctive

mindset of like, this is how I want it to be.

And if I can't have it this way,

I'm fine living.

Doesn't like changes.

No, no, definitely not.

Like you know, like

just living like a hobo.

Yeah.

You did say hobo, right?

We don't want to get canceled.

Speaking of getting old, it was Pam's 75th birthday.

It was my mom's birthday.

Oh, really?

Yeah, just the other, March 3rd.

Oh, hers was February.

Yesterday 28th.

Yeah, yesterday, yeah.

How old was she?

Your mom?

The Flanagans do not count birthdays.

You don't?

No.

Am I 53 too?

Yeah, both of us.

Oh, because I'm telling people I'm 50.

I said that to Mary Beth's dad, and you fucking outed me.

You're like, see, I'm telling you.

Yeah, 50.

But not to my in-laws, I'm not telling it.

I'm telling it to strangers.

You're trying to get in.

You're selling them a bad bill of sale.

Yeah, the Flanagans, yeah, I don't know how old my mom is.

I've never asked.

I've never tried to nail her down

on a firm number.

No.

I don't, you know, what's the point?

A lady doesn't tell, I guess.

Right.

But yeah, why are you spreading it around?

Pam's 73.

She's never going to hear this, this, and she's 75.

He tried to give you an out.

My brother Darren was like, hey, for her birthday, I'm going to rent a theater, rent a movie theater, and watch Vulgar.

The movie's going to be awesome.

Yeah, that'll be awesome.

The movie's going to be a thing.

Okay.

All right.

So I was like, oh, cool.

Now, I'm not.

I don't have my glasses on while I'm reading this text, right?

So I don't catch that.

It's not.

I think I've got to.

You got to kick in for this on the other side.

No, no, no.

It was only October.

Oh, okay.

I did end up kicking in, but that's a different part of the story.

So I see E and I think Eatontown, but it's E for Elizabeth.

That's not that much farther.

I mean, are you fucking kidding me?

It's by the fucking airport.

It's about a 40-minute drive rather than a 20-minute drive.

Yeah.

Okay.

So half the time.

Half the time.

Yeah.

Okay.

Your mother's fucking 73rd birthday.

I know, and I'm trying to fight the urge to be like, fuck this.

But so that's the first thing.

I'm like, all right, we're going to get up there.

Now it's me and Mary Beth and Sage and, you know, Pam and Edgar, my sister, her boyfriend, my nephew, his girlfriend, my niece, her boyfriend.

How many allowed to invite you?

20.

20.

Did you easily have 20?

No, I think it's like a little bit under 20.

Standard theater or like blue?

Standard fucking theater, because I don't think this is.

This thing from another world or this John Carpenter's thing?

John Carpenter's thing.

Okay.

Turns out it doesn't matter, though.

Because your mom grew up probably on the thing from another world.

I was very confused about which thing this was.

Was there a thing before the original champion?

Was there an earlier thing?

The thing from the Adams family.

It may as well have been because she's.

So we get there, and they won't let us in until 15 minutes before the show, right?

You're only allowed 20.

Only allowed 20.

Only allowed 20.

That's it.

That's the top.

All right.

So we go in to get concessions and stuff, and that's where I came in.

I'm like, I'll buy the the popcorn and soda for everyone.

Oh, nice.

Real champ, right?

As soon as we get, this is where Mary Beth was like, I'm starting to believe in the Johnson curse.

As soon as we get to the counter, you can smell the popcorns burned.

It's just shit popcorn.

But you're like, all right, fucking people want popcorn anyway.

We'll get it.

We get like eight sodas or fucking 10 sodas or whatever it was.

And just as we're about to go fill the sodas,

they're like, oh, the soda machine needs to be refilled On every fucking soda movie, it turns out.

I swear to God, I'm not kidding around.

The movie starts, it's not until 20 minutes to 25 minutes later that they're like, soda, we can't fix the soda machine.

So here's some waters.

But can't the movie start on your,

but no.

No, they won't do it because I guess they have to get out at a certain time.

Was this a regular theater, like a theater that's in the middle of the middle?

AMC dog shit theater up in Elizabeth, which is part of the mall, I guess, that Jersey Gardens mallet.

Why Why did Darren not just try to get one in like closer?

Like Eaton Town?

Because they wouldn't play the thing.

It's still an AMC theater.

They won certain movies.

Like

what's that?

It's still an AMC theater.

And I would think, you know, it's they should have never put their name in there.

The AMC name has really fallen by the wayside since Comic Book Man has been canceled.

People don't care.

Is it the same AMC?

It's not the same old AMC.

Everybody remembers it's Sunday.

It's not associated with quality anymore.

That's not the same AMC.

You know that, right?

They don't own those theaters?

No.

It's not the same theater.

Kiddom didn't lose his fucking girlfriend in the middle.

That's not the TV show.

It's not the same.

That's not the world you're living in.

They make the car, too.

Remember the car in the 70s?

AMC?

They make those too.

GM AMC.

So, okay, so your brother.

I have to, can I ask, is Pam a fan of the thing?

Oh, she loves horror movies.

Oh, okay.

But is this one of her movies that will be like when they're top five or something?

I thought so.

I thought so.

Or is this just like Darren and Bry are like, oh, I'd love to see the thing in the theater?

No, I think Darren thought that Pam would love to see it.

And she did.

She did love to see it.

But it turns out that afterwards, you know, I'm still, I'm beside myself because.

Because of the water?

Because you got water and the popcorn is shit.

Has anybody ever eaten popcorn with water?

I mean, it sounds disgusting.

It sounds like something like you chew up and then feed to a goat.

Dude, not in the history.

Yes.

The history.

Because of that oily butter?

Yeah, it just.

Not in the history of fucking concessions.

Has someone been like, I'll take a water with that popcorn.

Never.

It doesn't match, man.

It's just like, it's just.

It's like popcorn floating on top of the water.

If you gave me a choice between

free water and $2 soda, fountain soda, I would pay the $2 for the fountain soda.

Even get them.

Oh, even a man who won't buy himself a bed.

It's like, I'm springing.

I'm taking my own popcorn.

I'll be like, you know what?

I'm going to be back in five minutes.

I'm going to run to that 7-Eleven two blocks down the road.

Coming in, my pants sagging.

Double gulp.

So, my niece and the other people who are trying to get the soda don't come in until a half hour after the movie starts.

Now, Pam is like, you walk in, and it's like one of those ones that's like separated where there's the back section and then there's that little front section with like three or four rows.

Those are people from the wheelchair, except for that.

Right, yeah, that kind of shit.

So, Pam's sitting in the front row of the rear section.

I don't know how she didn't see people coming in late, but after the movie, she doesn't realize that most people missed a good 25% of the movie.

I'm like, I'm not fucking paying for this shit, this soda and shit.

And I told Darren, I was like, you should fucking complain, man.

You should not take this.

And so Mary Beth, she put it on her card, so they had to deal with her in terms of like, I'm like, I don't think I should have to pay for this fucking water and shit.

It's not what I wanted.

That they came out and gave it to us.

That's on you guys.

I ordered soda.

You know?

They were charging you soda prices for water.

Well, they were charging you soda and water prices.

No, they just gave us the water.

Oh, okay.

You know, quote-unquote gave.

Yeah, that's all right.

That's good, right?

That's not good.

No, it's good that they gave it to us.

I mean, if they had come by and been like, hey, you owe us this much for the water, I'd be like, where are you going, buddy?

Right.

So what's the problem then?

The problem is.

You guys still got soda.

No, we never got soda.

Oh, you never even got the soda.

They never brought the soda.

No, they were just like, yeah, the machine's down.

And that was it.

That was the end of the soda conversation.

Okay, so you didn't get charged for anything.

That began the conversation of.

Even if you gave us water, we don't think we should order.

I'm not paying for the soda.

So the lady comes in, and Mary Beth has to deal with it because it's on her card.

And then when the lady leaves, Mary Beth is just laughing.

I was like, what's so funny?

And she's like, she just took the sodas off.

There's nothing

I said.

But if you didn't get soda, how can she, why would she be charging you for this soda?

I think they ordered it, they charged them, and then they never brought the sodas out, though.

They never brought the sodas out because they were fixing the fucking soda machine for like a half hour.

Okay.

All right.

So

I'm behind you here.

I'm with you here.

Right.

Okay.

Don't have Johnson should not be paying for soda.

Shouldn't be paying for soda.

In my estimation, we shouldn't be paying for the popcorn either.

The reason.

Did you guys eat the popcorn?

Part of it, like some of it.

It was so burned, I was like, fuck this shit.

My problem with this, and this is my problem with a lot of places out there, is they fuck you over.

They inconvenience you.

They make the experience so much worse than it would have been otherwise, which probably wouldn't have been great.

And then don't offer anything beyond it.

They're like, well, you can come back another time.

I go, I live 30 fucking miles from from here.

They don't know that, though.

Well, I told them.

I'm sure you told them.

They don't care.

I had a similar experience the other day.

I bought chicken cutlets at ShopRite.

That sounds the same.

Go on.

No, no.

Definitely not the same.

There were eggshells in the breading.

So I bid it.

I thought you were saying the chicken.

I was like, wow, that was a young chicken.

No, no.

So there's eggshells in the breading and everything.

So I had to cut around it and everything else like that.

And I had to drive to the shop right that I bought it at, which was out of my way because it was close to here.

And all they did was just give me the money back for the

but you don't know you.

You could have probably gone to any shop, right?

They would have honored it.

I don't, I don't know.

It was the receipt was for that shop, right?

So.

Oh, you went to a more distant shop, right?

Yeah, it was because it was close to here.

Is it in any way, shape, or form?

Was it part of the close?

Not even a good class.

No, no, no, no.

I think, I think, I think for getting

in as much as, like, but I don't know what would they give you, like a $5

something coupon, right?

Yeah.

I think there are way too many businesses.

Did you get your money back?

Yes.

Then shut up.

What more do they want?

What more do you people want?

But it was something wrong with the food.

There was eggshells in there.

And they gave you your money back.

But it's...

And I get it.

What makes you think they're like,

now I want free food because there was an eggshell in there?

It wasn't just an eggshell.

It was a big company.

Do you trust Sunday's demeanor?

Do you like

his judgment?

Sunday, weigh in not only on the theater experience,

but Giddam's eggshells.

My argument is that I think that...

Not only giving the drinks back, they should have realized that it was such a cluster fuck of an experience in terms of people missing the movie and not getting the soda that they should have been like, you know what?

Why did they miss the movie?

Why didn't they just say bring the sodas to us

when they're ready?

Because there's no fucking way they were going to do that.

Why?

Did anybody ask them for them to do it?

There's nobody to ask.

The lady at customer service argued with me.

I'm like, she's like, well, the soda's ready.

And I'm like, it is.

I'm looking at it right now, right there.

Can't you see this?

And she didn't want to deal with somebody like me, you could tell, who's like, and I wasn't out of control.

But all the boys are there, right?

And Edgar?

Darren and Edgar.

Yeah.

well Edgar's Edgar's enjoying the movie eating popcorn with no water

without a drink and not giving a care in the world

but why yeah why don't like has

your family figured out like like anybody but you could should be handling this situation just let Brian watch the movie like zone out and watch the movie and then and then let somebody else handle this nonsense.

Well, I get beside myself because I'm like, I can't believe that this is the treatment.

And I can't.

Darren, I'm shocked at it.

You should have a worse, you have a worse experience.

I could see him body slamming somebody.

Really?

Oh, he's neutered.

I don't know what you guys think about this.

Sunday, let's tackle the theater experience first.

Do you,

what is the theater?

What does the theater owe you after that?

In my opinion, I'm not sure.

Like, it's just things happen, right?

Things happen.

And everything is happening.

But

is that the only movie that they've shown in the last, when was the last, were they even open before you called them up?

They had to clean the cobwebs and shit off, and it was like, oh, we got somebody wants to watch the thing.

Let's get the theater ready.

On top of it, Sunday, we go into a theater where there's fucking masks on the floor and fucking napkins and stuff.

So they didn't even clean it.

No, and then they tell us, if you leave it with stuff on the floor, you're going to have to pay to have it cleaned.

I mean, balls on these fucking people.

AMC Theaters and Elizabeth.

Well, maybe it's maybe that's how it is up there, I guess.

Maybe they don't even clean at all.

But what do you do?

You're Brian now.

What are you demanding?

Or are you just like, oh, well, it sucked.

Less and less.

I believe that.

Well, that I would definitely say.

I'd say, look, you got to make some kind of amends.

I mean, this is ridiculous.

I mean, it's my mom's 75th birthday party.

We came all the way up from South Jersey.

Your soda machine doesn't work.

You're giving me fucking burnt popcorn.

Half the people are like...

You know that the movie theaters are like they're on life support.

You know that they've got a lot of people.

I get it right.

So you should be like, you know,

let's make the soda machine work for let's give these guys a good experience.

They're still paying for the movie.

They don't have the money to be just like, all of a sudden now just throw out, you know, like, yeah, but then they're going to be losing

about the corporation.

I think soda and popcorn is pretty much a staple at a theater.

I don't know.

They spent our money.

Like all the concessions were like fucking $125.

It's like, what?

I don't fucking have to eat.

They paid for the theater.

My money doesn't mean anything.

They paid for the theater.

So they're making money off that because otherwise that theater is sitting there empty, not being sat in.

So they're making money.

Great.

Okay, great.

So you should want to keep the people happy so that they're going to come back and share that experience with other people to encourage more business.

Did they say they were were sorry?

Did they apologize at least to you?

They didn't apologize to me.

All they did was they might apologize.

Not to him, but they probably apologized to Mary Bath.

But she was very quiet.

She probably would.

The girl who came to actually do it was nice to her.

Well, so what would have made you happy?

Well, what they could have done is they could have been like, okay, you know what?

An extra bag of popcorn.

Yeah, we messed up on the popcorn.

Can you give us 10 minutes at least?

We'll start the movie later so

everybody comes in and sits down.

We'll make a new fresh batch of popcorn for you.

Sorry about the sodas.

If you want a candy or something, we'll supplement it with a candy.

All we have is water.

You know, sorry about we have water.

What that made you happy.

Customer service.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Would that make you somebody happy?

They did give you water.

Right, but I'm saying it's like instead of like they could have dumped that popcorn and made new popcorn.

Nobody's going to eat that popcorn anyways.

You're eating pieces of coal, apparently.

They might not have all that little gritty shit.

But they might not have the people who are working there might not have the

authority to be like, we got a popcorn to make new batch of popcorn.

But they said popcorn doesn't.

There has to be a supervisor there.

Somebody's got to run the movie.

Somebody's got to be doing something.

Somebody opened up the store.

And there is a manager there.

She fucking would have come out.

Did your mom?

She was a manager three times and they gave messages via this girl I was talking to.

Did your mom have a good time?

That doesn't matter.

Oh, it does.

The only person that deserved a good time was Pam.

I don't deserve a good time.

Well, it's not your birthday.

It's not my birthday, but

as long as I'm...

She's had enough birthdays.

How many more fucking birthdays?

How much attention needs needs to be paid to her?

Why can't she be more likely?

I want to get into adult holy flannigan over here.

I'm not counting birthdays.

Not fucking giving it up.

But as long as the birthday girl is happy, that should make every Johnson happy and be like, you know what?

We could deal with all this stuff.

Not this Johnson.

Mom's happy.

Look at mom.

Never.

Look at mom smiling over there.

That's all that matters.

Like, that's how you walk out of here to go, Mary Beth, you'd turn around and look.

Everything else sucked, but look at mom over there.

She's smiling.

Right.

But smile would be like, she's smiling.

She's like, popcorn in her teeth, budget.

Looks like a fucking New Jersey devil hockey player.

She's the best movie ever.

Dude, it wasn't that far away because I'm like, I'm pretty sure that smile is based on senility.

Because what she said next, I was fucking like, what?

So she says, oh, I really like that movie.

She's like, I like it when the remakes are close to the originals because that way,

I don't like it when they change too much.

She's talking about, like you said, thing from another world.

It's not too close.

This is a new movie.

And I was like, wait, what?

I thought he said she loves horror movies.

She does.

But that's what I mean.

Oh, she could.

The mind's going?

I don't know.

Have they changed it maybe since the first time?

Well, there is another thing.

They did remake the thing again.

It was a prologue, I thought.

Yeah, but I'm saying, you know, it kind of goes into the same kind of movie.

It's the Russians.

Yes.

Like,

I'm just wondering, maybe if they added some extra scenes and

remastered it, remastered remastered it.

82.

Was it remastered?

Like, was it nice and crisp and clear?

Wait a second.

Let's just hold on for a second because this is really concerning.

So your mother has to recognize Kurt Russell.

In 2020, she thinks he looks that fucking damn young?

I don't think.

Yeah, the film was in black and white.

The original.

Oh, yeah, the original was in black.

The original.

She didn't think it was the original.

I'll give her that.

That's that fucking far galaxy.

She thinks Kurt Russell in 2020, has she seen Guardians of the Galaxy 2 where he looks like he's like plastic?

I don't think think so.

I don't think she saw that.

That's why I was like, she was

concerned.

She went in thinking that it was new.

And I'm like, I don't think she knows who the fuck Kurt Russell is.

What?

No, I don't think so.

I don't think she's seen it.

It's a star.

Are you sure she likes horror movies?

She says she does.

Well, he was Disney guy.

I was led to believe she does.

She did tons of Disney movies, too.

Yeah, I mean, that's a pretty big name in Hollywood history.

It's a huge name.

It's a massive, it's one of the biggest names of our time.

Goddamn Snake Pliskin.

Yeah.

Bird on a wire, big trouble, little china.

We could do this.

Yeah, bird on a what?

Overboard.

That's a little bit of a bad thing.

We could go over

his wicked, I mean, his IDM,

IMDB.

IMD, what's it called, his, all his

photography.

But

I maintain Sunday, now we still haven't heard you weigh in yet.

Mom's happy.

The kids are happy, right?

You can't help but be happy.

It's drooling.

And if Edgar's happy,

how much do you rock the boat, Sunday, if you're Brian Johnson?

I mean, he's got a point, though, with a lot of this stuff.

I mean,

you want an experience like if you were getting married or you had a certain experience.

You're equating.

You want the same experience of getting married as going to the movies?

Okay, so I'm shocking.

So if you were still, you still want the experience.

Well, look, it's $7,000.

One cost fucking $50,000 to do a proper wedding, and one cost $100 to rent out a theater.

That was more than $100, I'm sure.

The theater was $100, yeah.

Really?

Yeah, the theater was $100.

Because they can't really show movies like they used to.

So they have these empty theaters.

Did you have to bring your own print?

I wish we had brought our own snacks and shit.

That's what I do wish.

Yeah, because shaved off 50 bucks.

Yeah.

Yeah,

again, I think like

the end result, I understand, but knowing going on.

Oh, fuck you.

I understand that too.

But it's just like,

if you're a business and you, you know,

PPE,

you know, you're

scrambling here.

You're a business.

That's what you're supposed to do.

People come to you.

You are like hanging on by a thread.

You don't have a wiggle room now all of a sudden

to be like, here's free passes or here's.

I didn't say free passes, but what I said, Joe, you're just like, you know, nobody else is waiting to get into the theater.

It's not like they have all these movies to that.

You don't have to show other movies being shot.

It's not expensive.

But after having such a horrible experience, why would I be like, yeah, I want to come back for free?

How many theaters were in there?

How many screens is it?

It's probably like one of those 10 to 12 screens.

That's a lot of fucking screens.

Right.

Right.

So I'm just saying, if he's renting it, how many people, was there anybody else in there?

I mean,

there were people there.

There were people for the next movie.

It must have been a kids' movie because there were a lot of little kids there.

I maintain, I don't care.

They could have given you...

They could have went out and got you gourmet popcorn and could have got you like, you know, ice-cold drinks.

You probably wouldn't never go back anyway because it's too far away.

I probably would never go back, you're right.

But that's not so.

There's no skin off the wall.

It's a combination of the brand as well.

It's not just that thing.

It's everything.

It wasn't just like, you know, okay, all right, the popcorn is a little burnt, but now you got nothing to drink.

They weighed it up and they're like, hmm.

But that's not the way it works.

Central Jersey.

That's the whole company should work.

I know, but like when you, but in these days in this day and age, when like it's.

Wait, when were you?

You thought you were for the little guy.

When did you stop being for the little guy?

No, no, I'm just talking about how 20 minutes of

it.

This is not Ryan Johnson.

I'm for the little guy.

Reality versus, you know, like I'm just saying, that's probably how they just weighed it up.

They either don't have

the money to

make all these concessions to make it right, and they're probably just like, it doesn't matter.

We're probably not going to be here next year anyway.

Maybe.

But so then what the fuck?

Again, what's the skin off their fucking teeth?

So are you saying like if you go to a movie and the print messes up somehow, you shouldn't get free tickets?

Yeah, you should get free tickets for that.

Okay.

Or at least refund or at least refunding of of your money.

Definitely.

Yeah.

Look, he got refunded for the soda.

So you don't think of the.

I don't know why the people weren't sitting in the seats.

Those who missed the part of the movie.

Because they were online because they kept reassuring them.

Oh, yeah, we're almost done.

It's like, yeah, yeah, we're already done.

Well, they should have never started the film then.

They should have been like,

no, somebody should have put their foot down and been like, when the sodas are done, these are what you want.

Bring them to us because the movie's starting.

The movie had started.

I wasn't even aware.

Yeah, plus, even think about it.

I can only yell at so many people.

attractions.

If you're in the theater and it's 10 minutes and the soda still hasn't come, you're going to be like, I'm going to have to leave this to find out why they still haven't come because it doesn't sound like they were forthcoming in.

They were going to send somebody to constantly update the theater.

Oh, that was the other thing.

It was awesome.

It started at 6.30 at night.

So, you know, it's freezing cold.

The execution was kind of like Darren had a great idea.

Right.

But it just couldn't have been executed properly.

It was beyond his control.

Except he should have been like Elizabeth is a little far away.

He fucking commutes like twice as far as Elizabeth every day, so it's fucking nothing to him.

To us, it's like, oh my God, Elizabeth.

So did you guys?

Come on, Elizabeth.

Did you guys all drive together or did you guys all drive separately?

Yeah, we ran to the fucking party bus.

No whitboard.

It is the magic bus.

All right, but what about get him then in the eggshells?

He got his money back.

Does he deserve more than that?

No.

How could you get more than what you paid for?

Because you're bit into an eggshell.

But they gave you the money back.

I mean,

did you eat the rest of it?

Yes.

Okay, so he ate half of it.

He ate half the eggs.

He ate all of it.

Right.

All right.

Even with the ones with that.

No,

I cut around the eggshells.

I cut around the eggshells.

But I did have to drive extra to go to the.

So, yeah, but why?

Yeah, but if you eat.

So I got a full meal and a refund.

If you consume it all.

I ate twice today.

And you don't get sick, and

there is no fallout from you doing this.

What are you complaining about?

It was still enjoyable enough for you to eat it all.

No, because then I had to inspect every piece before I ate it.

Well, how much did you bring back then?

It was about this much.

And you're like, this has an eggshell that it could be.

No, no, it was like literally like a whole egg shell.

You could see like a whole eggshell on one.

Well, why would you even buy it then?

And they couldn't see the eggshell in the plastic packaging because they put that

kale on top of it.

Oh, okay.

Yeah.

It was their Dearborn brand

handmade chicken cutlets in like a...

Fancy.

Yeah.

So he buys all the old food, so who the hell knows what that is?

That might be something that was hashtag.

The egg shell did not grow there.

Was it on the

garbage?

They just pulled it back out and put the saran wrap.

He'll buy anything.

Was it on the soon-to-be-expired display?

No.

Two eggshells.

Oh, God.

What do you expect?

Told you.

Again, it's not like an eggshell grows.

It was there the whole time.

He's right.

When they were selling it for $14, it still had the eggshell in it versus when I bought it at $6.

The guy was like, oh,

the guy's coming.

Just throw it in there.

Pull that out of the garbage.

Throw it in the saran wrap.

I think being friends with you has made me paranoid about the expiration date on food.

Going to the point where, like, I'm constantly accusing Mary Beth of, are you sure that's good?

And she's like, yes, it's good.

Being friends with me or friends with you?

No, friends with you.

Why?

Because you're always so mindful of what you eat and where it's coming from and that kind of thing.

Yeah, but

here's a lot of people.

Two minutes past the expiration.

To the left of you or to the right of you who

has shown that expiration dates are for suckers.

No, no, I won't go.

I don't know about that.

Why would you not go there?

Have you ever felt the sting of eating some food that was a yes, there was that one time, and it did kick my butt.

What, what?

You had a couple of burps, and then.

Oh, no, no.

I had a fettuccine alfredo with a chicken, and I didn't know at the time that the cooler section that it was in was out, and it was sitting underneath a lamp.

So it's pretty much just

cooking at room temperature for days.

You didn't eat a petri dish.

I ate the first bite.

Yeah, it was.

So I ate the first bite, and I'm like, it's kind of tangy.

It's like bacteria.

I thought it was like

a fancier cheese, like a pecorino romano or a Regino.

And so I had another half-taste, and I'm like, it still tastes kind of funny.

So I heated it, and I tried it then.

It just tasted worst.

It's a city of worms in the stomach.

It tastes like a styreful of black mold he ate.

Oh.

So, yeah, like, like, like, which more do you need than, like,

and then be like, no.

But yet, even animals do that.

No, some cheeses have, you know, a distinct odor.

Right.

You know?

So.

So, yeah, I wouldn't recognize it.

I wouldn't eat something that smelled like so much.

No eggshot.

It's a chocolate mold, though.

It didn't smell like, it didn't smell musty.

And it kicked your butt.

Oh, like,

not enough, but it didn't kick your butt enough to wean you off into, like,

make you

stay, you know, be like, vow never to eat expired food again.

I taste something and it's a little off here, the whole thing just goes out now.

But you're still buying expired food.

It's not expired food.

It's almost expired.

Yes.

He's eating expensive.

There's Best Buy.

There's Use Buy, and then there's expiration dates.

I mean, Best Buy, you could still get a lot of things.

But like, why are you like,

I

love to save money too.

There's nothing better than going to the flea market and seeing something you want and your guy has it for 10 and be like, hey man, would you take eight?

It just feels.

It feels good to haggle.

But at some point,

set that movie.

When are you going to be like, I'm good enough to have food

that will expire a week from now?

And not teetering on the left.

Yeah.

Like, when you're doing it.

No, I do.

I do that.

Like,

I buy fresh food and cook it.

Right.

But it's like the pre-made stuff.

I usually find that.

I just think it's too overpriced to begin with.

So when it's at that level, that's the right price point for me.

Yeah, but there's, but you're playing with danger, though.

Like I said,

I've learned.

I've learned.

So I've.

playing with botulus.

They get seriously ill, man.

Well, that's why I said, like, how much cheaper is it?

Like, 70% off, usually.

Oh, wow.

That is a lot.

I mean, not at all.

These hens.

It gets like the turkey ends that are from the deli meat.

I used to get those with the cows.

You feed your dog.

So when

you bring back the eggshell meat,

do you bring the Alfredo fenuccine back?

I did bring it back, yeah, because I let the guy know that I'm.

So you saved it.

What was that?

No, actually, no, that I threw out

and threw up.

No, I think I threw it out.

But I went back and I told the guy, I was like, look, I said the

case, I went back and looked at the case and it said like 50 degrees, or it's supposed to say 30 something.

I said, your case is bad.

And he looked back and goes, yeah, yeah, it is.

And I said, you know, and I got the rest of it.

You have to throw all that out, right?

I'll beat you.

Just so happens, I have a glad supersized tripod with me.

Stealing off into the night.

Made out like a bandit.

But no,

that was also more towards

it was summery.

Like now it's wintery, so I don't have a problem.

I didn't have a problem with taking that piece of chicken cut and just leaving them in the back of the Jeep

so I could get to the shop right.

You make it.

Because it was like 37 degrees outside.

It was cold.

Nugents.

30-something.

We're talking about good stuff to eat, Walt.

Yeah.

Let's talk about some good stuff.

That's a segue.

Because I know I've been trying to cut down on carb, sugar, unhealthy food.

I seriously have, though, for the past couple weeks.

This is Good Spoon.

This is Magic Spoon.

Magic Spoon.

You a big cereal guy, Sunday, Jeff?

You like cereal?

Frosted Flakes?

Back in the day.

Frosted many wheats.

Is that your go-to?

I like count chocolate.

I liked a lot of the monster cereals.

It's not really cereal, right?

That's just candy.

Wait, was that?

Count chocolate.

I think Frosted Flake has as much sugar as looking at it.

You think Frosted Flakes has just as much?

But it was flakes, though, at least.

Yeah, so the other one's oats and the other one's corn flakes.

What's the difference?

You want to have fun?

Take a look at the ingredients for corn flakes and the ingredients for frosted flakes.

Exact same ingredients.

Whoa.

That's the shit.

White drop.

No.

There's sugar.

Sunday, Jeff is floundering.

He's dazed.

They're bamboozled.

They're sugar.

The road flakes.

But Magic Spoon, they don't have none of that crap.

No, they don't have any of that shit in it.

So Magic Spoon has amazing flavors you love, but without all the bad stuff.

So here you go.

What you got?

Zero grams of sugar, 13 to 14 grams of protein, and only four grams of carbs in each serving, only 140 calories of serving.

And listen to this.

It's keto-friendly, gluten-free, grain-free, soy-free, low-carbon, GMO-free.

It's just air.

Yeah.

Delicious.

Tainfree air.

Tasty air.

So eating a vitamin.

I like the fruity one.

That's the good one.

Anyway, that's my favorite.

What flavors do they make?

They have, well, I'll tell you what they have fruity.

They have blueberry.

Isn't blueberry a fruit?

Yeah, but I mean, I guess it's fruity, like fruit loops, fruity, and then blueberry.

They had flakes.

They had like a frosted flake type stuff.

Right now, they have new flavors for a limited time only.

They have cookies and cream and maple waffle.

Ooh, maple waffle.

Maple waffle sounds good, yeah.

Cookies and cream sounds amazing.

I love cookies and cream ice cream.

Do you think it tastes the same as it?

I'll get some.

I'll find out, and I'll let you know.

Okay.

Probably won't be as cold.

Throw it in the freezer.

So this is the ultimate treat yourself combo, so make sure you get some while you can for a limited time, or build your own box.

Available flavors to build your own custom bundle, is what you were asking about Sunday.

Cocoa, fruity, frosted, peanut butter, and cinnamon.

And if you're listening from Canada, Magic Spoon now ships there as well.

Oh, so the Canucks can get it now finally.

Delicious cereal, eh?

If I'm coming to the 20th century, Canada.

Yeah, finally.

They're like, oh, thanks, eh?

So go to magicspoon.com/slash TESD and grab the new limited edition cookies and cream maple waffle or a custom bundle of cereal to try today.

And make sure to use the promo code TESD at checkout to save $5 off your order.

This offer is good anywhere in the U.S.

or Canada.

I should say end Canada.

But only when you use our code at checkout.

And Magic Spoon is so confident in their product, it's backed with 100% happiness guarantee.

Wish that movie theater was.

So if you don't like it for any reason, they'll refund your money.

No questions asked.

So remember, get your next delicious bowl of guilt-free cereal at magicspoon.com slash T-E-S-D.

Use the code T-E-S-D to save $5 off.

Thank you, Magic Spoon, for sponsoring this episode.

I love that happiness guarantee.

I've never heard that before because that's

a big one.

That's pretty lofty, dude.

Yeah, I'm about to call him on it.

Do you start the day off with breakfast or do you just go right to work?

I don't.

I usually have oatmeal, though.

Oatmeal.

Yeah.

Yeah, well, I have it at work.

Oh, okay.

I don't have it as soon as I wake up.

Do you have like oatmeal for you at work?

No, I bring packets with me.

Oh, okay, okay.

Instant oatmeal.

Do you subscribe to breakfast as the most important meal of the day?

No.

Which one is?

Oat meals.

Which one is the most important for you?

Probably dinner.

I like dinner the best.

Yeah.

I'm a dinner guy, too.

Breakfast is pretty good, though.

I don't eat much for breakfast, usually just yogurt and a banana or

oatmeal.

I've always felt that breakfast was all the foods that are offered for breakfast are just like if they all disappeared.

Only pancakes?

From the face of the planet, I wouldn't miss one breakfast.

You only pancakes?

Nope.

Nope.

Toast.

That's it.

It's the only breakfast.

Have you had pancakes?

Christopher.

I've tried them.

Yeah, they don't taste like cake at all.

No, not really.

No.

Did you put maple syrup on it?

I don't.

Maple syrup, it smells so fucked up.

Oh, my God.

No, it doesn't, Magic Spoon.

I thought we were over with that.

Waffles?

You ever had waffles?

I've tried it and didn't like it, man.

It just, it's, you know, it doesn't do anything for me.

Yeah, I'm not a breakfast guy.

There's like, you know, eggs.

You're giving away what's up though.

I wouldn't have known about the waffles.

Bacon, I'm not a really guy.

Wow, bacon.

No, I mean, I've eaten bacon.

You know, I tolerate it, but if I get a little fat in my mouth, it's no good.

Yeah, I almost vomit when I like, especially when you're chewing that grizzle.

Bacon bacon in my house.

There is nothing more disgusting than, like, not undercooked, but like not well-done cooked bacon.

So it's like that white, fatty, chewy, rubbery.

Like, even thinking about it, like, my stomach starts to feel weird.

And that's getting

a little bit of a good thing.

Well, yeah.

If it's good, if it's, yeah, if it's hand bacon, how is it good?

It's like a fucking chew toy.

It really is.

Almost everything is a chew toy for me because it with Missy's teeth.

You can chew it forever.

Fatty bacon.

It's nasty.

No,

I kind of like it.

You don't mind, huh?

No.

Can use it to like reconstruct somebody's knee.

It's like a tendon.

It's disgusting.

You know, like when I make my chili, I cut up slices of bacon into it.

Well, people love bacon.

I know.

It's a very...

I like a crispy.

He's got a piece of crap.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

I hate it when it's at, like, it's...

I like a Krispy.

Not just like this.

Like when you hold it it and it's holding, it stays pretty strong.

I like it.

Yeah, I don't.

Yeah, I know.

But I don't even like bacon.

I haven't had a piece of bacon probably since the 80s.

But it needed to be petrified for me to eat it.

Do you remember?

I think we were in San Diego.

Remember, Quinn went and ate all that bacon for breakfast and he got ill for like two days?

On his back for days.

Oh, I remember I made

fucking bacon.

He ate the whole fucking package.

He ate a lot.

I made bacon chocolate brownies.

They were delicious.

I don't get any bacon to chocolate.

I tried to get it.

It It's the sweet and savory.

I know, I tried it once, a little bite.

I was like, this is fucking disgusting.

Sweet and saltiness?

Yeah, one time at the track, we had a candy convention, and I bought chocolate-dipped bacon.

And it was so good.

I bought three pieces, and like I went through the first piece at work, and I saved the last two pieces, and I was just cut off an inch.

Why don't you just buy yourself more chocolate bacon?

It was like a

instead of like older.

It was a weekend convention.

Had to wait until I got a car.

I worked on Sunday, and the place that made it was from like up north, like Elizabeth.

So I wasn't driving to Elizabeth just to get chocolate-covered bacon.

It's not that good, Denny.

It was.

It was good, but not that good.

I see the guy that drive to fucking Woodbridge for a Denny's.

Yeah.

Well, have you tried their steak?

Apparently, it's the best.

It's better than chard.

Center cut, yeah.

Better than chard out of here.

It's crazier than chard.

It's like three steak I'm put together.

Here's your steaks, Mr.

Flanagan.

It's awesome.

I've had a steak at supposedly the best steak place in Jersey, which is down the street, and I couldn't even finish it.

I don't even know what they brought out.

It's too big and delicious.

No, it's not.

It doesn't hold the candle to the center cut at Denny's.

Just a little fat-laden.

What kind of steak did you have?

It was probably marbled.

That's what gives us the taste.

You can't have a dried-out piece of like just.

That's from like the asshole or something.

You like the asshole?

No, but I like it.

If it's cooked.

I like steak.

Well, if Denny's cooked it, yeah.

I don't know how they make it.

It may not not even be real steak, but I love it.

This is like it's a complete circle, and somehow there's no fat around it.

Well, fillets are like that.

No, it's not a fillet.

I never had anything that was marked.

Flamina, yeah, it was round.

They don't have filet mignona Denny's.

I'm talking about the Denny's steak.

It's like a prime cut.

Prime in quotes.

You get that?

Mashed potatoes in a drink for $9.99.

It's kind of a cut there, baby.

It's called P-R-Y-M-E.

It's just dog food just flipped over and fresh down.

That's Beef with an extra mark over the eat.

It's juicy, bro.

If you get that much enjoyment out of it, I can't say anything about it.

What am I supposed to say?

But

I just, I feel like you guys are like condemning it without even trying it first.

Look, I tried the best.

It sucked.

It doesn't suck.

It does.

I'm telling you.

You should have gotten yourself a nice piece of fish like Sunday Jeff.

Actually, I know.

The fish was really good.

I heard the brother that even went there.

You gave me that gift certificate there.

Yeah.

I'm glad to hear the money went to waste.

I took a hole through it there.

I swear to God, this is what I mean.

I'm sure I probably told us on Tom C.

Davor.

We went there and we get the menus and we're immediately just like, what the fuck?

Like, nothing makes any sense.

Like, it's all like.

We're the Flanagans.

I would watch.

Speak our lingo, son.

Yeah.

Speak our lingo.

See steak.

Where's my sweet?

Where's my steak patty?

So, like, we don't recognize any of the things that are on the menu.

Where's a frivel?

So

we're having to like kind of wing it.

Is it round?

That's a hamburger, sir.

And whatever they brought for my wife and my daughter, it was like this massive

like thing with legs, and um, it was supposed to be uh

foul, but it wasn't.

I don't know what it was, but so we got everything, you know, we used up all the gift certificate and then some.

It didn't even cover everything for

not your slaves.

Yeah, not just saying it's so fucking so high price there

that um the gift certificate didn't cover it.

So we so we basically looked at each other, and we're like 10 minutes into

each other and we're like,

we can get to friendlies if we leave now.

Oh, no.

Do you want to do it?

Let's make sure they hear that.

No, nobody heard it.

Alicia just looked at me and just shook her head.

She's like, I'm not going to eat this.

So we're like, all right, let's pay you the check real quick.

What did they get?

What did you get?

I can't remember what it was.

We couldn't even pronounce it.

But what did you get, though?

Oh, I got a steak.

But I was saying there's all different kinds of cuts of steak.

Did you get the fillet?

I mean, the fillet would have none of that stuff in there.

I thought none of that.

I just, I said, I want something tender.

I said, probably give you a fillet.

Yeah, but it had fat in it, though.

Yeah, fillets usually don't have fat in it.

No, they do.

It's momorable.

It's too.

I like a thin salt.

Did even one person enjoy it?

No.

Wow.

No, we're not.

We're the Flannagans.

We're not high falutin.

No.

The burger there is really delicious, actually.

I should have got a burger.

That's what I had left when we went.

I looked at taste from motherfuckers.

It should have been like,

can you get that fucking right, Pierre?

Pierre, which all your favorite things.

I I wanted to spend under $75 words for you.

Otherwise, I'll go get the chef from Denny's.

He can make it for me.

He knows what it is.

Chicken sandwich and burger.

And I'm like, I'm not pussy enough for the chicken sandwich.

I'm going for burger.

At least it's mean that I can afford.

Sunday, Jeff, do you like to travel?

Yes, I do.

Have you decided at any point you might like to go to China?

I don't think that was.

I would like to see Hong Kong one day.

Because China makes COVID-19 anal swabs mandatory for all foreigners now.

Now, I want to see how you implement that.

But why?

Why does it have to be

off the plane?

Yeah, and you pull them down.

But I'm saying, can't they do it just like we do here in the nose or saliva?

I mean, is there any reason?

You get a better reading.

They said you get a better reading because it stays in fecal matter.

Right.

They need your fecal matter someday.

Well, I mean, as long as it's like tied in with the cell, they'll not be traveling to China.

I'll be not once

because of that.

It's just ridiculous, ridiculous, though, anyways.

Well, let's just...

They don't want to spread the damn thing.

What are you worried about?

Oh,

so they just canceled that, Jeff.

I happen to agree, but you're canceled.

No proof of that, Jeff.

But, like, let's say.

From what I read.

Fake news.

Wouldn't you want the best, most accurate test, though, to make sure that everybody's...

Yeah, but you should be tested even before you get on the plane, before you even take the flight.

Why do I have to wait until I get there?

Why can't there be some kind of manifest to where like, look, I show that I actually had this test done.

I'm getting on the plane.

Look, I had the test within 24 hours.

Here's the result.

I get on the plane.

There shouldn't be an issue when I get off at the other end.

I think America is still too uptight, though, to pass an anal swab edict, though.

I think that they would be like,

you know, we're just too

suppressed.

Well, no, if you make a condition of the plane flight, so that's on the plane company.

I would start moaning when they were swabbing it.

i i really doubt that the people doing it are like that and they're like that's what they get their kicks doing

you don't think there's one who's not getting away well there's there could be there could be i think there's plenty who are

you see you see like like i don't think they're hiring i don't think they have a stallis cabalai cheerleaders are doing uh going overseas to china okay to do some sort of world

to world tourists standing in line behind them is me

do you think

you think you don't think that the guy that that the guy at the Chinese airport isn't just like, you know, I'll take the cheerleaders, you take the fucking gift.

I don't have the...

Yeah, but I don't think they're planning on every day that the Dallas Cowboys cheerleaders going to China.

That's pretty big for a swab.

Well, I mean,

that would be...

And I don't, I think it's just, it's probably like medical personnel.

So, like, you know, they're swabbing nasty things.

They're human beings.

Do you know how many people will be flying to China, though, how many people are constantly going back to such a a populated area?

Not that many, probably now.

Probably not many know.

It's just I wouldn't.

If you have to go, then you go.

Because can you imagine also, like,

let's say I don't have the fucking aunts, the fucking lovely, lovely aunts who are on Patreon.

Right.

Forget the ones who aren't.

But the ones who are.

That means that I don't have to like go and get a job that I don't really want to do.

And if I had to fucking feed Mary Beth and Sage, there's a chance where it's like the only job available is you got to fucking swab anuses before they head over to China.

You're in a position where you're like,

I don't think I would ever find myself there, but somebody would.

Somebody has.

Somebody is currently doing it.

I don't think that

you would get the job because you have to move to China to get it.

That's true.

They only do it there.

That's what seems pretty cheap.

You're filling out those applications to apply for that job.

That you get there and then they tell you that you have it, and so then you can't go anywhere.

I would rather know it here in America so that I can.

What about the guy who's or the guy or the gal who's doing it?

Aren't they at more of a risk

constantly having to swab the butthole?

No, I would assume that they have the proper

hazmats.

Yeah.

Or get up there and swab me butthole.

You don't got the whole plug that goes up to their shoulder.

You don't think that

they just have a, like, you don't think they're in one of those outbreak outfits?

Oh, yeah, like a hazmat suit?

Yeah, I think they're in something.

It's recovered from head to the sun.

No,

I don't think they're like in

that outbreak.

And now that outbreak.

They were given the COVID test here, like all those blue suits with the face mask.

Yeah, I think they got like the

latex suit suit on, you know, face shield

and the mask, and then they do their little thing, click it off, toss everything, white.

Back ears, and then go

station.

Yeah, they're like, yeah, like, how can you be sure that, like, I wonder if they put it in?

They must not insert it, right?

They just like, yeah, if I was like these, if I was China, I would constantly be like inviting NFL cheerleading cheerleaders to come to

come to the nation.

Wait, wait, why are you inviting us to China again?

guest keeping tour?

No reason.

I said they sent Troy Aiken

and Tony Romo.

I would feel bad for the person who they're like, oh, sorry, we got to swab your anus.

I'm like, oh, I'm sorry about that.

I'm more sorry than you are.

I probably would just turn around and go home.

I would never do it.

What if they take the flight?

What if they did it in the States, though?

Well, if it's that much accurate, how come they aren't doing doing it in the States?

Like, I told you why, because we're just too repressed as a community.

But you still could go into your own doctor's office and have it done.

It doesn't have to be like a mass thing, something that, like, you know, all right, we're lined up at the Walmart here.

Pants down, here we go.

Woo, next.

Next.

Never.

Because, again,

people would abuse it.

You know, those perbs.

On both sides.

Right.

Take a break.

Take a break.

There'd be one psychopath who would be constantly like, as soon as he walked into Walmart, he'd just just be walking right back out and get in line again to get a swab.

So, you're not saying the workers, you're saying the people.

There'd be some lunatic.

Do I have it yet?

Yeah.

Why don't you give me some?

Sunday,

I've already hipped you to Magic Spoon, but I don't think I've done enough for you today.

So I'm going to tell you about Raycon as well.

Oh, Raycon.

The most

quality

earbuds on the planet.

Wireless, right?

Yeah.

Do you listen to a lot of stuff?

Podcasts or music?

Your music, right?

He's got

how many iPods?

Six?

I don't have

a lot of money.

Six iPods with a song.

With 1 million songs?

The legend grows.

I don't have wireless headphones yet.

You will.

We're going to get you some from Raycon.

But have you passed 1 million songs yet?

No.

Really?

You were on track.

You told me to pass 1 million songs in 2020, you said.

I haven't downloaded any music on.

I don't even think my iPod is even charged anymore.

You gave up on music?

No, it's not on my phone now.

It's called the clown.

Your phone has Bluetooth.

500,000 songs?

No, I don't have that much on my phone.

My phone ran, I think I have an SD card.

I think it's got maybe 50 or 60,000 on there

on the SD card.

That's it.

I mean, you need a pair of quality earbuds to listen to that kind of music.

Emily, I'm going to get some.

You're going to get some, man.

We're going to get one.

We're going to get some for you.

You can power through your workout with a pumped-up playlist Sunday.

What's your playlist?

What's on your playlist for pumping up?

Actually, I don't have headphones, so I listen to what's on there.

Yeah, Little Foreigner,

Bucks.

Little Survivor, Ida Tiger.

Oh, yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah, is that what it is?

You got that?

Yeah, what?

18-themed song?

I got Rocky on there.

Yeah.

I got Rocky.

I mean, so you go through the most generic, most like.

I don't listen to any music because I don't have no headphones.

I just told you that.

Well, you don't just put your music on?

Yeah, this way everybody else

they can hear you while I'm playing.

You do that to me at the old store all the time.

They have a bunch of different colors, too.

What's your favorite color, Sunday?

I'm going to look into this for you.

Silver.

I'd rather have black.

I'd rather have black.

They don't have black?

No, they got black.

I'm just fucking around with you.

So, Raycons are built to perform anywhere and anytime, and water and sweat-resistant construction, and Bluetooth appears quickly and seamlessly.

I agree with that.

Yeah.

Enough with battery life, enough battery life for six hours of playtime, you can unplug for a while.

Nice.

And the best part, Raycon makes great sound accessible to everyone with wireless earbuds starting at half the price of other premium audio brands.

That's crazy, some of these things I see, like some of these buds that they charge.

I mean, I've seen

thousands.

I'm like, how good could it sound?

For thousands?

Yeah, that's just got to be for status, I think.

Yeah.

So

this is the call to action Sunday.

Raycon's offering 15% off all their products for listeners, and here's what you got to do to get it.

Go to buyraycon.com/slash T-E-S-D.

That's it.

You'll get 15% off your entire Raycon order, so feel free to grab a pair and a spare.

That's 15% off B-U-Y-R-A-Y-C-O-N.com slash T-E-S-D.

That's it.

Buy Raycon.

15.15.

That's right.

Works on all formats.

Android, Apple.

As long as you got Bluetooth, yeah.

Sweet.

You're ready to go.

So buyraycon.com slash T-E-S-D.

I have the Tiger, baby.

I have the Tiger.

Speaking of music,

I have recently gotten into, for the first time ever in my life,

jazz.

No.

The Beatles.

Yeah, no, yeah, you're talking about that.

Ew!

Yeah, really.

Has it become going backwards?

Vivo.

It was Vivo.

I'm going backwards.

No, I meant in the catalog.

I mean,

I'm going with their last album, and then I'm going to go to the first album.

Right now, I'm on the last album.

And I'm just taking it.

Abby Road?

How many albums do they have?

I got a lot.

I feel like they have Let It A albums.

No,

it's the one where they're walking across the street.

I thought Let It Be was their last album.

No, 1970 was their last album.

But anyway,

I'm really digging it because I saw on Pluto, I saw a video of them for a song, and I was like, oh man, I dig that song, and I just started to do the to, I said, I'm going to buy this an album and see if I like it.

And I did wind up liking it.

And what it reminds me of is,

like, especially

when I'm getting into a new band, is like I miss talking to Mark about it because he said something that he turned out to be so right.

Because he was a big Beatles guy.

Zabby Road.

And he said,

because he was huge into the Beatles, and we talked about music all the time.

And he said, do you like the Beatles?

And I was like, no, you know, I never ever really got into the Beatles.

I just don't get it.

And he looked at me and he goes, there's two types of people in the world.

He said, people who love the Beatles and people who don't know they love the Beatles yet.

And I'm like, I think they're just like...

They're catchy.

It's just catchy too.

And they're wacky, too.

They're like, you know, like,

since I don't do drugs, I'm trying to find a way to have that kind of experience without being fucking high.

And some of those lyrics, you know, are kind of like, you know, the, you know,

psychedelic.

Yeah.

So I drive around and I like, you know.

Well, weren't they like...

They're into drugs.

Yeah, the way they got so good or so, they became such a tight band was they would go to different countries and they would like get like get up, hopped up on speed and shit and just play all night.

They just played so much night after night after night.

Yeah, I think Q told me that.

Really?

Yeah.

Yeah, I mean,

I mean, we're looking for something else as time went on.

What's the best album you've listened to by far?

Well, I've only gotten the one album.

I like Magical Mystery Tour.

I like that album.

Yeah, I'm going to go.

Like I said, I'm going backwards, but I'll kill an album, though, till I can't stand it anymore.

Oh, yeah,

we know that.

Oh, yeah.

I'll assault it.

I think Alice Cooper's still in the old store being

digging it out of the wall.

I'll play it over and over again until I can't bear to listen to it anymore, and then I'll buy the next album.

So I don't know what's before Abbey Road, but right now.

That was my drugs.

That's what I had to listen to.

But yeah,

I think that

they probably are, you know, they get a lot of credit as far as being like the,

I don't know, I guess the

band to usher in rock.

Sure.

I mean, you got, got, you know, I know Elvis is like the king of rock and roll, but.

Yeah, but if you're talking about bands, and especially like, I mean, they were the first boy band for sure.

Yeah, but their evolution from like pop

gum rock to like these songs that are just so fucking strange.

I mean, the Rolling Stones weren't too far behind that.

The Who wasn't too behind.

I mean, that whole British invasion wasn't really, and there's such a difference in style.

Like, you listen to the Beatles and you listen to the Who of the Rolling Stones.

It's not even close.

It's not even anywhere near the song.

Do you have all the Beatles albums?

I have the U.S.

ones because they have like Past Masters.

When did you get into the Beatles?

I've always liked the Beatles.

Who's your favorite Beatle?

I like Ringo.

The quiet one.

Yeah.

Well, the one nobody else liked.

Really?

Why?

Some did Jeff.

That's why.

I don't know.

Maybe because he was in that movie Caveman.

I always liked that movie.

Oh, my God.

Tell him, Steve, Dave.

Hey, just wanted to give a quick update to some of the people who may be on the Patreon gift tiers, specifically the 40, the 60, and the 100.

Usually we get those gifts out early in the month, but due to the $40 gift kind of being held up in customs right now, I mean, we're expecting it to be released

and have it in hand by March 15th, the 40, 60, and 100 people who go out in March, you guys are going to get those gifts sent out, you know, later in the month rather than the usual early in the month.

You know, since the start, we had usually gotten the gifts out way early in the month.

The $20 people who go out in March, your items have been sent out already.

They're already in transit probably.

And for people who get gifts in April or May of this cycle, this doesn't even regard you because this is only for people who go out in March.

And if you have questions about when you go out, if you're why you're in the why you're in the April tier or why you're in the May tier or why you're in the March tier, it really has to do with when you joined up to your tier.

That's really all it is.

But if you have questions, you can always email kmuse2 at gmail.com.

That's k-m-e-w-es-2 at gmail.com.

And I will answer any and all questions promptly.

All right.

All right.

So sit tight, the 40, 60, and 100 people who get stuff in March.

Your items will be on their way very soon.