#471: Poppin’ Da Cherry

No, you're entirely within your rights.

We're white males past fifty.

We don't need to learn anything anymore.

You've learned all you need to know.

People are upset about this, or most people are upset about this.

Just Brian.

Just Brian.

I know, but here's the thing.

I have neither children nor French bulldogs.

So I take you on.

It's like a baby.

I'm like, bring that crazy shit on.

What's the worst that's going to happen?

Like, I'll be dead in 40 years.

Yeah, man, I'm transgender.

Yeah.

Oh, my God.

Are you kidding me?

And you broke it here?

I mean, it's nuts.

Oh, yeah.

Yeah.

This is great.

Yeah.

I swear to God.

It is so bizarre.

We can't talk about it.

Dude, there's no chance on the planet we'll talk about it.

I swear to God.

Get rid of them?

With their turn in the glass?

Tell them Steve Dave.

Hello and welcome to this week's edition of Tell'em Steve Dave, broadcasting from downtown Red Bank and our brand new digs, right, Walt?

Brand spanking new.

You're breaking

the seal.

This is it.

As they say.

Is that what they say?

Sure.

Okay.

Popping the cherry.

Popping the cherry.

Too vulgar?

Yes.

Too vulgar?

Okay.

Too hot button.

Let's keep it clean.

Let's keep it clean

in the new digs.

BQ is here.

Dude, you're looking great.

Thank you.

You're COVID-free.

Well,

I had that weird.

We hadn't recorded, we missed a week, right?

Because

I was feeling great.

The last episode we did, I was feeling great.

And then

all the symptoms came back for four days.

It was crazy.

It was crazy.

Like, I was feeling awesome.

And then, like, the head started pounding.

I started getting dizzy again.

And when I inquired with medical professionals, they were like, yeah, that's what we call long-haul effects.

Some people, like my buddy Velez, can't smell still.

Really?

And

it's been almost eight months.

Wow.

Yeah.

I'm thinking, I wish I couldn't smell.

This mic smells funny.

Does it?

Yeah.

Victor, what's going on?

Oh, okay.

All right.

You can't do that to a super smeller.

I mean, I can't smell a thing.

But yes, I am back to feeling great.

100%?

No, not 100%.

Like, I did some stuff today and I got winded pretty quickly, but I would say 80?

80%?

Are you worried that you'll never be 100%?

No.

No, okay.

No, no.

It'll be fine.

I hope.

Well, my new lifestyle doesn't really require much energy anyway.

You have a new lifestyle?

Don't we all?

This is the first time I've worn pants in probably three weeks.

Do you know how much credit we could score if suddenly Q was like, yeah, man, I'm transgender?

Oh, that's his new lifestyle.

Ratings would go through the.

Yeah.

Oh, my God.

Are you you kidding me?

And you broke it here?

Yeah.

Yeah.

I know.

Oh, who knows?

Life is in progress, man.

You know?

You never know.

You never know what's going on beneath someone's skin.

I wanted to start today with a big news story that, Walt, I think could affect you.

Have you heard about Lady Gaga?

I did hear about this.

It was very, very alarming to hear about what happened to her French bulldogs.

A certain breed of dog who is in short supply, I guess.

You can't get French bulldogs.

Oh, yeah, you didn't know that?

No, I wasn't sure.

They're very, very rare and expensive dogs, and

they cost, you know, through the nose.

How do you say that?

That's why she was.

So they weren't targeted because they were her dogs.

Somebody shot someone and stole them because they were French bulldogs?

Because they were French bulldogs.

They were like, give us those French bulldogs.

And the guy was like, no.

And they're like, bang, bang, bang, bang.

Okay, now we have the French bulldogs.

Five people for a dog.

Yep.

That is insane.

It's like John Wick in reverse.

Yeah, right?

But yeah, yeah, but when I first heard it, I like you was like, oh my god, they're targeting celebrities' dogs and French bulldogs.

I was like, I can never go outside with Cooper now.

Right, because you don't know how many celebrities have French Bulldogs.

You know, you know, a couple do, but eventually they're going to get down to C D list.

You know, those, those, those Z list celebrities who can't afford any kind of security.

Right, yeah.

They're like, look, you just let them run around in his yard.

Yeah, but

I have an article about why, you know, because French Bulldogs can't they don't they can't have big litters.

And you have to have a C-section whenever you

whenever the a French bulldog has, I can't find it now, but they have to have a C-section to get to get the puppies out of them.

So

their puppies are like, you know, they're like sought after like, you know, like gold.

Which is odd because it doesn't sound like they should exist.

Because of the pushed in face.

They're like, frankly.

Well, if they can't live without without a human cutting them open and pulling them out of their mother's womb, it seems like an evolutionary misstep to me.

I don't know.

I'm not saying they're not wonderful dogs.

Oh, yeah.

I mean, I can see why people would want them.

And I mean, I paid almost, I think I paid either almost $4,000 or $4,000 for Cooper.

Holy shit.

It was something, like, yeah, I treated myself

during comp bookmen.

And, you know, that's how I justified spending that much money.

It's the most I've ever spent on anything, you know, other than a house or a car.

Wow.

When I had TV money, as they say.

Oh, isn't it sweet?

I don't even have a dog.

I have memories of drugs.

You saved that $4,000.

Think about it that way.

No, not really.

Give it to my pusher.

He's walking around with a French bulldozer.

He's got several.

Son's a black.

Wow.

Do you think so?

Knowing

what we know about bold celebrities celebrities and how people feel about their pets, when she got the news that her walker was shot and the dogs were stolen, do you think her first reaction was like, oh my God, is he all right?

Or was her first reaction like, my dogs?

From what I read,

she immediately said she would offer half a million dollars.

I thought it was $5,000.

No, it said $500,000.

Oh, $500,000.

$500,000 for the dogs back, no questions asked.

Somebody got shot.

Yeah.

And she said no questions asked.

I'm not worried about getting that guy off the street who just shot another human being for a dog.

But, you know, but I think the police would have a different take on that.

Right.

They're like, we got to ask a couple questions, Lady Gaga.

Wow, half a mill, huh?

Yeah.

Good for her.

You know, depending on who was walking Cooper.

You know, if you know, it really, really would depend on who was walking Cooper.

When I found, like, and word got back to me, like, such-and-such got shot walking Cooper.

I might be like, how's Cooper?

If it's Giddam walking Cooper, yeah, I'd be like, How's Cooper?

Get him, can take it.

He's resilient.

Yeah, that guy got shot in the chest, apparently.

Now, I maintain

four times.

Four times he got shot.

Yeah, they had three dogs, I think, and the guy got shot four times.

The person who did that is going to go to jail for a long time when you shoot somebody four times.

Yeah, I mean, well, there were two suspects grabbed the dogs and took off.

Lady Gaga's beside herself.

And how many dogs were they able to get away with?

Two, right?

Three, I think.

Three?

I thought it was three.

Okay, so these are not puppies.

So wonder what kind of money that they're looking at when they get rid of these dogs, though, now.

Well, they probably don't have any.

If you're the type of person that's running around stealing people's dogs, you're probably not that bright.

So they probably just didn't even think about the age of it.

They're just like, let's just grab them.

If they're too old, we'll just throw them off a bridge.

Yeah, but you, but you're right.

But you could be like, you know what?

What's more lucrative?

Maybe robbing a bank, robbing a jewelry store, or taking two fucking dogs off the street.

Yeah, but one of them has, you know, alarms, cameras, and security guards, and one's just some dude with a leash.

Okay, and then you're like, you know what?

We'll also.

It's called low-hanging fruit.

Yeah, but we're also going to commit attempted murder in the process, though.

I mean, it's not.

I think it represents

taken here they are.

Oh, that one that got left is living the fucking good life now.

Oh, yeah.

Well, he'll never get outside, though.

No.

You're going to have to build like a little.

She's got to have a yard, right?

She's

in California.

Oh, yeah.

Doesn't she own like, she's got, she could buy three houses, knock two of them down.

She's offering half a million dollars for two dogs to be returned.

She's worse.

She's got a yard.

I don't know, man.

Have you ever heard anything about her lately?

I'm not sure this is not a publicity stunt to get her name back in the news.

I don't know if she's like, she's like, I'm not famous enough.

When's the last time you heard a song or anything about her?

I mean, she sold out Radio City last year

with Tony Bennett.

She did a whole album years ago.

That's like

eternity in this.

Yeah, but everybody's in the middle.

She's finished.

She's in Paris.

She got the news in Paris, so she's probably doing all right.

I mean, she's walking around looking like this with fancy sunglasses on.

Like, I feel like if you're dressing like that, you're doing okay.

I can tell you, though, like, since I am a French bulldog owner, that is the, I know why that's the dog of celebrities.

You know, people just, it's like, it's like, it's as close to having a human baby

as you could possibly come without having the responsibilities of a human baby.

I mean, that sounds like an argument against.

Oh, well, if you have those paternal

feelings and you're a little bit over the other side of

where you're not going to have a baby anymore,

that's the dog to get.

You could feed it like a baby.

You could put clothes on it.

It looks adorable.

It's just the.

Doesn't mind wearing clothes?

Oh, no.

Cooper will do anything.

Really?

Oh, he's the most like, you know, the personality of a saint.

I want to shit on this, but he's so sincere.

Yeah, you know, as his friend, I feel like we've got to let him have this, I guess.

I'm thinking of Mary Beth.

She bought, for Halloween, she bought Princess Mitch a shark costume and put it on her.

And you know the way a cat acts.

It just starts to roll over with like it doesn't want shit on it, you know, or it'll just go and it'll falter on its side.

That's what I like, though.

Oh, so yeah, we're in the new digs, man.

This is it.

Yeah, I mean, it's uh so far, you know, the show doesn't seem to have changed much as a result so far.

We're only, what, like 10 minutes in?

Yeah, yeah.

I mean, again, like, I always worry that, like, you know, can the magic be transported

to a different locale.

I mean, it works, you know, when we're all in our own homes, so I don't see see why it wouldn't work when we're together.

That's true.

This is great.

We got ourselves a green screen.

I'm sure you can see it there by Walt.

We got all kinds of...

You got to come here.

Oh, yeah.

If you're in the Jersey area and you want to see,

is this the first store in podcast history like a podcast has a store?

No.

It's not?

No, Meltdown Comics.

Oh, they did it for a long time there.

Although Meltdown's Meltdown's closed now.

Wait a minute.

No, I meant like a podcast that is selling podcast merchandise.

Meltdown Comics is selling a lot more than the podcast merchandise.

Oh, you mean, oh, I see, a brick-and-mortar podcast store.

Is this the first one?

Yeah, I got you.

Is this it?

It might be.

I believe so.

In history?

Shouldn't have thought of it that way.

I mean, we're not selling much.

Cutting-edge brick-and-mortar.

Yeah, we got a couple shirts, six shirts, a baseball cap, a bumper sticker, and a couple patches.

But, you know, we're growing.

We're only four days into it.

So, yet another first.

First on vinyl,

now first with brick-and-mortar podcasts.

We never get acknowledged for that, by the way.

I was talking to somebody the other day with that show I do with my buddy E-Rock.

Would you kindly?

And

we had a guy, Chad Dukes, on, and he is aware of the podcast and stuff.

He's a big Kevin fan.

And he said that he put something out on vinyl and made the

mistake of saying this is the first podcast on vinyl and he said your fans attacked relentlessly.

Good, that's true.

Yeah, right?

You feel a sense of pride and yeah like

not only they should have canceled him like not only does it like alert him that he was wrong they should have just fucking destroyed his life.

Well if it makes you feel anybody about he did recently get canceled

great guy no not because no he doesn't even know he was like I'm not exactly sure why he's still waiting to hear because but how how do they know?

How does he know he's canceled then?

Oh, well, no, he got fired.

That's how he knew.

From what?

He worked in

Washington, D.C.

sports radio for like 20 years.

Like, he's a well-known broadcaster.

Oh, it could have just been budgetary things.

It may not have been something that he said that caused him to get canceled.

Yeah, I don't know.

He couldn't talk about it because he's like, they just let me go.

Oof.

That was like season.

Don't cancel anybody, Ants.

No, don't cancel him.

People are getting canceled right now.

now.

Stupid shit.

The Ants tried to get Tom Brady's attention over the past weekend.

I thought that was really fucking

awesome.

Yeah, it's crazy

that they did that.

I'm glad that Tom Brady didn't notice it, though.

Not to diminish their efforts because I was truly just like, that's fucking awesome.

I would not want to talk to Tom Brady.

We talked about it because Mary Beth asked me, she said, like,

if Tom Brady was like, yeah, I'll talk to Walt.

All he has to do is fly down to Florida.

Would Would he get on a plane?

And I said, I don't think so.

Yeah, I said, I'd drive.

I don't think so.

I mean, yeah, I don't know what I would do.

But I thought for the wrong reasons, though, because I was just like, he wouldn't get on a plane.

But you're saying, even if he was like, yeah, I wouldn't want to do it.

I mean, I would do it, of course, because it would be like the, like, how could I not take that opportunity?

It would be like

madness for me to be like, no, like, hang on, tell him Steve Dave, what it would do for our profile and everything.

But that'd be a big deal if you went transgender.

I don't know.

I think being being transgender right now would be like, did a crying game move right now, ball just pants jump?

I think that'd be a pretty big object.

So I'm a female that.

Trans to male.

You're going, no, you'd have to go to a woman.

You're already a dude.

Or,

have I been a female the whole time?

This whole time.

It almost switches my head thinking about that.

That's like, where does the universe begin or end?

Well, that explained a lot of the vacations we've taken together.

Well, that's why they said you shouldn't even think about it.

Don't worry about it too much.

If some dude tells me he's a dude, fine.

If a woman tells me she's a woman, fine.

I'm good with it.

You know what I'm not good with?

The new parking situation now, because I had to circle this fucking building like seven times to find the spot.

Where were you parking before?

Just parked there.

Oh, really?

We could soon go there?

Oh, yeah.

Oh, then that's a long walk, though.

I mean,

you got to give up something.

You got your own store now.

Now it's just a a little bit too far to walk.

And the worst part, too, is it was this really, really hot girl.

She was so cute.

And like, she was walking, she was walking up, like, down.

As I passed her the first time, like, we made eye contact, and I was like, great.

And then I had to circle around.

I saw her again.

I was like, oh, fuck.

I was like, and then a third time, but she was with her friends.

And I was just like, eh.

I'm like, why is this happening to me, man?

I look like a creep.

It would be better if you were recognized.

I was worried that that was going to happen.

And she was like, yeah, he's he's the guy from that stupid show who's stalking me.

Speaking of Tom Brady,

has he apologized yet to the daughter of the Lombardi?

Yeah, I saw that trophy.

Why, whatever.

No.

So during the

Super Bowl

celebration, they weren't allowed to have a traditional parade, so they went on a boat parade, and they had a whole bunch of boats go down, I don't know, downstream.

Yeah.

I don't know, down the

channel or something.

And at one point, Tom Brady took the Super Bowl trophy.

How is that different, by the way, from a regular parade?

People still have to line up to see it.

I don't know, but they didn't have like a traditional, like, um, Heroes Canyon.

Yeah, but I'm just, but like, the net result is the same: crowds of people gathering to watch boats go by.

But I guess maybe they're farther away.

Yeah, well, I guess the players are safer, though.

Yeah, which is what matters.

Now, now I understand.

Okay.

But Tom Brady took the, he was on one boat and he threw the Super Bowl trophy from his boat to another boat and a player caught it.

The trophy?

The trophy.

But he wasn't aware that

he was being picked up on camera because

when word got back to the granddaughter of the man who sculpted the trophy,

she

was very, very, in fact, she was so upset for a week that she didn't sleep, and she's demanding a public apology from Tom Brady for diminishing her grandfather's work.

I feel like this is.

I swear to God, that's all true, right?

Absolutely true.

I mean, come on.

Because it's all about her, Q.

Yeah.

It's all about her and something she didn't even fucking do, and her grandfather's been dead for 50 years and doesn't give a fuck about it.

And by the way, it's a cooler story if it goes to the bottom of the bay and then it's retrieved.

It is.

It's just a cooler story.

And it's not even the one that he sculpted.

It's

a replica of the one that he sculpted.

I think this is the one time I would give Tom Brady a pass, no pun intended, to say, you can suck the apology out of my dick.

Well, thankfully, Jesus

and his brand and the brand he's cultivating, he probably, you know, thankfully he didn't say that, but I'm sure he was thinking it.

I know he was thinking that.

He wanted to be like, fuck you, you self-centered.

cunt.

Right.

Why would you even go out and say something like that when this makes it all about you?

It's not like, if it even fell in the water, then okay, she might be like, hey, you know,

I think it's a cooler story

in the water.

But to be like, he tossed it to somebody else and they caught it, and now I'm so upset that I can't sleep, it's like, then you have serious mental issues.

What the fuck did you guys think?

Somebody's done cocaine off that trophy lately.

Like, what do you think?

Right.

Like, you think that's the fucking worst thing?

You think that people haven't fucked on that trophy?

It's like.

Like, somebody hasn't gotten wasted and pissed inside it or something.

These are sports.

These are fucking athletes, man.

They're animals.

This is from the first time.

How many have come through?

50 some Super Bowls.

He's only played in, I think, 19% of them.

So she thinks they're all untainted except for the one that got tossed from both to both.

But why are you worried, lady?

Why are you worried, bitch?

It's the greatest quarterback on the face of the planet in world history.

Your trophy's in good hands.

Why are you worried that it was not going to make it?

Of course he made it.

And even if he drops it, he'll just win another one to replace it.

That's it.

So, don't even worry about it, lady.

I'm in the cult of Tom now.

Yeah,

oh, I'm in.

I'm in 100%.

He's superhuman.

He is, man.

Like, to be the Tom Brady of anything would be pretty fucking sweet.

I mean, you know, Marion Rivero is the Tom Brady of pitching.

Is he?

Yeah.

Yeah.

He's a legend.

He's a legend.

LeBron.

Oh, yeah.

Yeah.

Jordan, LeBron, Kobe,

you know, Bird, Magic, all those guys, you know, who are, you hear their names, even like, you know, common people know who they are.

Tom Hanks.

Tom Banks.

I would say, I could say you can make a.

I think the argument could be made, but I think a lot of people would be like, yeah, but look at all the shit he made, too.

You think he made a lot of shit?

Tom Hanks?

Yeah.

I think probably.

Doesn't everybody make shit?

Yeah.

Oh, yeah.

What about that Bachelor Party?

Garbage.

I don't remember.

That was from the 80s, right?

I don't recall that.

No TNA at all.

How do you read a movie called Bachelor Party and there's no TNA in it?

I was in the 80s.

I'm having issues with movies like this.

I watched Zombievers the other night.

Zombievers?

Yes.

And it definitely promised

some

sunbathing, some topless sunbathing.

It didn't deliver it.

Nope.

A girl popped off a top, jumped in the water right away.

That was it.

Oh, then you got it then.

That's not sunbathing.

It's a crumb.

Yeah, sunbathing, I expect, again, 80s style.

They're lying out on a floating dock.

There's titties there, and then like some creepy guy comes up, you know, does something inappropriate that he shouldn't be doing.

Somebody hits him with a banana, he falls in the river, and it's all good.

Yeah, I had this thought the other day because I was just thinking about like how

entertainment is just so fucking like

everything's a lesson, everything's a fucking, you know what I mean?

It's hard to watch it these days.

And I was like, well, where are,

where's the room for the crazy ones, the ones that are going to spit in the eye of like, you can't, like the Lenny Bruce or that, like, who,

you can't,

I'm just trying to figure out the puzzle for like who is going to be the rebel to

so you're saying like nothing coming out of Disney is going to fall under this category, right?

Disney.

What do you mean?

It's going to have to some indie.

Yeah, but I think that if anybody made anything that was like like of that spirit today, they'd be like, It would be like, that's a fucking racist, patriarchal, sexist motherfucker.

Like, whose eye can you spit in?

Who's the authority that you could stick your finger up to these days now?

Um, it seems like everyone's a self-appointed authority, so it could be anyone.

It's just like the hall monitors have taken over society, and I'm just like, who, who's, who, I don't, I'm like,

who are the slobs and snobs now?

Like, where's the battle?

Who's the slobs?

There's almost only snobs.

The slobs are like older people like us.

I guess older white guys that still joke around and say shit.

I don't think it's just what.

I think rich people, I think they're still like.

All the slobs?

Yeah, I think that everybody likes to see

a rich person get taken down or like a snooty, you know, like high society falutin.

You like to see him getting taken down?

Well, yeah,

like you've seen that trope in movies, though.

Okay.

You know, like the common man, like the slob, you know, is thrown into a situation.

Revenge of the nerds.

Yeah, where

he has to best, you know, all these snobs and rich folk and everything.

I still think that is a trope that works.

But I think you're saying real life, right?

Yeah, well, I mean real life, yeah.

Real life.

No, I asked, that was fair.

I asked who's the slobs and snobs in these days.

So the snobs haven't changed, you're saying.

The snobs have always been the rich

ski lodge.

I think

they've been the target and the favorite trope in the last, since the 80s at least.

And Russians used to be.

Yeah.

I don't know.

I think you could still use Russians.

Oh, fuck yeah.

What they did?

Fucked with our election, allegedly?

I don't know why we did it.

Did they fuck with our thought, though, that they didn't?

I think it was proven they didn't.

They didn't?

I don't know.

But that's what they said.

Does it boil down to they got a Facebook ad?

What I think in the end is what it amounted to.

I don't know.

Not just one.

Not just one.

Not just one.

I'm not on Facebook, so I didn't see that.

But

is there entertainment coming out that isn't teaching lessons these days?

Because every time I turn around, there's something in your face.

Well, have you been watching WandaVision?

I don't really see a lot of lessons in that.

Yeah.

It's kind of just like...

I have other problems with Wandavision.

What is Wandavision?

All I hear is Kevin sucking the cock of WandaVision constantly.

And I'm like, what?

Well, him and everybody else

love it.

I had to push him out of the way, man.

I want to jump on that.

Really?

Okay.

Tell him.

I really like it.

It's It's really

like it's just interesting because it's so different than what you would normally expect from a comic book

movie, which I'm going to call it a movie because it's almost like one big long movie.

Right, but with all the boring parts kept in.

Okay, what do you consider boring?

Well, I mean, give me a brief.

I will say this.

What's Wanda Vision?

I think Wanda Vision is about the Scarlet Witch, Wanda.

You don't know at first, but

she's in like these sitcom parodies, and

she basically creates this this village and takes it over and makes her own reality within these families.

In a New Jersey suburb, New Jersey.

Yeah, and she remakes it and

reimagines the whole suburb and all the citizens of it to play as the perfect life for her.

And I guess what her perfect life was a sitcom.

So you'll see Bewitched, you'll see Malcolm in the Middle, you'll see

Brady Bunch.

But she's had a psychotic break.

She's forcing all these people to act out these roles and stuff.

It's like a Twilight Sports.

And it's torturing them when you find out about it.

Like, you know, because they're not able to think their own thoughts or do what they want to do.

So when they're able to show a little bit of how it's affecting them, you'll see a tear come down.

So, you know, it's kind of like dark and almost like a little bit of a horror vibe.

Yeah, and that part is awesome.

There's a lot to like about this show.

Like I said, if I was rating it, I'd give it like...

a B plus, like a B B plus.

Yeah, that's what I'm saying.

I don't dislike it.

I watch it First Thing Friday.

I'm into it, but it's just like by the time the third episode came and it was just another sitcom parody with something cool that happens in the last two minutes, I was going like, I don't know if I could watch this anymore, man.

It's over.

I was like, I don't want to see another episode of her as fucking doing this.

And then five minutes, there's a sting.

I'm like, give me an episode.

Did you watch it like weekly or did you binge it?

Weekly.

Okay, so I binged it.

That's the difference.

And there's a big difference because, yeah, you're not like waiting seven days in between like a little morsel.

Oh, yeah, morsels I can't take.

It's like it is.

And everyone on the show is excellent.

Paul Bettney is fucking awesome, man.

The vision of division.

He's unbelievable.

She's great.

Harkness is.

Cast is top-notch.

Yeah.

But I can't, I just can't, dude.

It's like, if this was a movie, they'd cut out all this shit

and nobody would care.

But I, but I like that, though.

Now they have more room to do all this cool kind of shit.

Like, is it because maybe you don't have any kind of affection for Bewitched?

No, no, no, not at all.

I think it's, I'm, I have affection for like, um, you know, progress and plot and stuff like that.

Like, we still don't know what's going on.

There's one episode episode left.

We still don't know what the fuck's going on.

I'm like, I think we kind of know what's going on.

Do you?

Yeah, I don't know what's going on with the villain, with the other witch that, you know, who has been revealed, but she's, she has decided, you know, she was so depressed and so upset.

She was going to create the perfect life for her.

That's fine.

And she doesn't care about anybody else.

If we all knew, figured that out in the first episode,

why are you taking till the seventh episode to tell us that?

We all knew that's what it was.

Everybody said it.

It's like everybody said it.

And it's like, and then like they reveal at episode seven.

It's just like, give that to me in episode three so we could deal with it instead of just fucking watching it happen over and over again.

That being said, I do like the show.

Yeah.

So I know it sounds like I don't.

The art direction, though, is so fucking fantastic, though, that like I can forgive like them padding it out.

There's definitely some padding going on to get to get eight weeks out of it.

But yeah, I agree with you, though.

Like, initially, if I was watching it like week by week, I might be like,

what, come on, that was it?

That's all, it's over already?

Yeah.

And we got nothing?

Nothing.

Yeah.

Nothing.

A lot of winks to the camera and stuff like that.

Oh, how fucking awesome was it that the vision finally has a somewhat green costume now?

Did you notice that?

I don't know if that was in the movie.

I'm thinking that happened in the TV show, though.

But he went through the portal and went and

talked to the, he got out of Vaughn's bubble.

Yeah.

And when he came back into the bubble, his costume was a different thing.

Was it different, really?

Yeah.

Oh, I didn't notice that.

It just looked like the same one to me.

Oh, yeah.

Maybe I'm wrong, but I think that's like them changing his costume a little bit.

And it made it green because I don't remember it being green in the movies, though.

It was like gray.

There's some green, green and red in the movie.

Yeah, but this one looked a lot more green, especially when he's talking to the camera, doing those interviews.

Right.

Yeah.

I don't know.

White vision, though, looked pretty cool.

Yeah.

I mean, like I said, it looks fucking phenomenal.

I don't know how much money they're spending on it.

It's got to be quite a bit, though.

And the snap stuff was cool.

Like when she came back in the room.

Yeah.

Her character I'm not sold on yet.

Monica, yeah, like, I want to like her more than I do, but so far, I'm just like,

I don't get why she's so invested in Wanda.

I'm just like, why is she, why is she on her side?

She's torturing this entire town.

Because she saw her depression, and I think she identified with like the loss of her mother not being there as a really haunts or something.

She wants to help her as well.

I could help her.

Sure, but if I was one of the people being controlled, I'd be like, I don't give a fuck.

I don't care.

Get her out.

I know Sword's the bad guy, but I'd be like, no, do what they say.

Like, blow up this fucking town.

Get me out of here.

But going back to your point, though, do you see a lot of heavy-fisted

messages?

No, not at all.

So you got to enjoy that, though, right?

Yeah, yeah.

I love that so far.

I'm hoping they don't fucking slam me with a fucking message at the end.

You might learn something at the end of one of the messages.

But yeah, it's refreshingly free of like.

Am I arrogant to be like, I don't need to learn anything?

No, no.

You're entirely within your rights.

We're white males past 50.

We don't need to learn anything anymore.

You've learned all you need to know.

Anything else?

My capacity for.

There is half the fucking population that's going, that's disagreeing with that, though.

We need to learn a lot.

Do I?

What do I need to learn about?

I'm not going to learn.

Well, let's not even go to Harvard.

But that's the first thing you got to learn.

We're talking college about it.

That's true.

That's true.

To talk about it is to get everyone mad.

You let society out there sort itself out.

And here,

we know.

We love it.

There's no lessons.

There's no lessons.

Walt, you sent me something.

We're talking transgender.

It blew my mind, and I think it's going to be a story that

you're just going to eat up here

because I know you've been quite the

what's it called when you're a bird watcher?

It has a very special kind of name.

Oh.

Is it like

an avius?

Something like that?

I don't know.

Are you still into it?

Dude, today, just today, I put up a new my fourth bird feeder on the property, fifth.

And yeah.

I would get about 20 more to try to lure

what Brian's going to tell you.

It's on Staten Island.

It's the French Bulldog of Cardinals.

Oh, no.

It is the rarest cardinal

in world history.

On Staten Island.

It's on Staten Island.

When I saw the story.

Well, it says here, Erie, Pennsylvania.

Why would you correct that?

I know it wasn't Staten on it.

Oh, you did?

I was just trying to

get it.

I thought for sure you really.

I wanted to have him out there every day looking for this cardinal.

Let me see.

Let me see the fucking bird.

Whoa.

Oh, it's a female, half-red, half-white?

It's a half-male, half-female.

Get out of here.

Fucking cardinal.

Never seen anything like it before.

That's fucking punk rock.

That's the punk rockiest cardinal I've ever seen in my life, man.

Now, would you say that about any other species?

What?

I don't know.

Let's say they're like you're at a carnival and you say half man, half woman.

Would you be like, that's the punk rock of human beings?

Well, what do you mean?

That's a mess.

Get it away from me.

I'd be like, that's a lot of unfortunate choices going on up there.

That's a hermaphrodite, right?

Yeah.

That's a hermaphrodite bird.

Sure.

I'm just visual.

I was just wouldn't you want that on your

land?

Yeah.

Oh, that's

you wouldn't chase them away?

No, no

no

experience of a lifetime the guy said that yeah that has to be pretty cool man known as a bilateral gyndromorph

divided right down the middle half half male half female do you think that's just like like the perfect timing for this bird to show itself for for finally to reveal that it exists in this time when we're so shitty to one another and we're like

what a life lesson that bird is i don't know how many people are going to see this somebody's report I know I wouldn't have unless you brought it to my attention.

Oh, man, it's like a sign from God Himself, and He's like,

Come on,

you got to learn your lessons.

This is all about you.

You love this bird, right?

Everyone's fawning over it.

Well,

she is.

I mean, I don't care.

What a fucking perfect timing for this bird to show itself to us when we needed it the most.

Uh-oh.

There's a cat about to get it, it would appear.

Yeah.

Possibly.

Possibly.

I mean, I know some people are taking it as a sign for sure.

How does it happen?

See?

I guess it's some development in the egg.

Same way it happens in humans, right?

It's just.

Has that ever really happened where?

A marathonite?

Like straight down the middle, like that bird?

It looks like it was cut in half and sewn back together.

That's a cool-looking bird.

What do you think that bird goes for in the aftermarket?

Oh, if you could catch them.

I don't think we should be thinking about things like that.

I think we should just let that bird go out there.

But my God, though.

I mean, that bird belongs in a mute, in a, you know, to be studied and everything.

I mean, they seem to know what it is.

You know?

Do you think it suffers from any kind of like, you know, like, you know, when you

like when a ostracization from other birds?

Oh, it's pecking it and shit.

Oh.

That happens with chickens.

Like, if a chicken's sick and there's other chickens around, no, no, they'll like peck it to death.

You know, they'll go after it.

We're not insinuating that the bird is sick.

Yeah, it's all right.

No, like, it's mentally ill, this bird.

You know?

But you know, like they have, like, what's it?

Like,

there's like an animal that, like, oh, there's like a dog that has, it's an albino dog, and it gets sunburned and it's unhealthy, and it has, you know, like a recessed genes and everything.

Could it be that this bird isn't like the most healthiest of species and, you know, maybe struggles out in the wild?

I mean, I think it would be dead if that was the case.

They don't, there's not a lot of margin for error out there in the animal kingdom, right?

Now, when the birds and the bees are calling,

what do you think this bird goes for?

Normally, as I understand it, hermaphrodites in whatever form are

barren.

They're not able to either go.

I'm going to say Baron von Flanagan.

Yeah, nice.

So maybe this bird doesn't even have any sexual feelings at all.

It can't lay an egg.

I don't know if it's horny, but it says that it could possibly be fertile.

Oh, there you go.

All my research is out the window.

We got one sentence.

So, like, if you had to guess, is it just a coin flip, you think?

It's just like whatever it can get?

Well, it can't, right?

It has to have, if it's fertile,

it needs a male cardinal, right?

If it's a male and it could

let's not go there.

I know what.

Well, we don't know location.

We're woke here.

Well, we don't know how the bird identifies, Brian.

That's true.

But if it tries to, like,

fuck,

I would think it would be more seen within cardinals as a female, I think.

Well, no, a male, because it's got the crest still.

So I think you're looking at the male then.

That's a conundrum.

I'm going to tell you.

In theory, it could mate with either a female or male cardinal, depending on which of its hormones were active during mating season.

And you're telling me this isn't a sign?

It's like the perfect, like.

But what's the lesson we should be taking?

It could actually be fertile since the left side of the bird is fine.

It's like us.

Like, you know, nobody, it's like, it's like breaking down the barriers and breaking down.

Do you hear about Mr.

Potato Head?

I did hear about this.

Yes.

I would have won Mrs.

Potato Head.

No, you don't want to know.

I think that it's just like the Cardinal.

But there's a Mrs.

Potato Head and Cardinals.

They're gone too.

Mrs.

and Mr.

Potato Head are.

Now it's just potato head.

Mrs.

Potato?

Now it's just fucking potato head.

Well, there's something that will never affect me at all.

But it does.

No,

it does affect you.

Because, no, it's just another small thing, just another little thing, and then there'll be another little thing, and then another.

Why?

Because...

How many people committed suicide over Mr.

Potato Head?

If you own the Mr.

Potato Head license and someone came to you and like, hey, man, you know what?

We haven't had a fucking uptick in potato head sales.

What are you talking about?

In 30 years?

I mean, like, we are like, we're going to close the doors because nobody cares about Mr.

Potato Head and no kids are buying him.

Constance Toy Story, right?

Yeah, but if we do this and we get on all the news clicks and we get all the clickbait, we can have our stock skyrocket.

All the woke parents will be like, let's get gender-free potato head.

You're right.

I'm not thinking.

Are the parts still the same?

You can still build the Mr.

Potato Head.

You just

on the box that doesn't say Mr.

Potato Head.

Yeah.

So I think it's beautiful.

I don't know if the baby is beautiful.

Wasn't the baby just pointing?

Like, the baby was, yeah, it's completely pointless.

It's pointless.

What is it doing?

Because it's showing, it's breaking down those old, you know, stereotypes.

What, that there are men and women?

Yeah, imagine that.

Well, we got a cardinal right here in our midst that says the.

Cardinals are taking over.

They're teaching us lessons.

Okay, well, now we're getting lessons from the bird world.

Yeah.

Yeah, but if they,

but see, I look at that exactly the way that you look at it, which is just like, well, they made a business decision.

And if that's how they think they're going to make more money, I mean, go for it.

They can always bring back Mr.

and Mrs.

Potato Hen without back.

Of course they will.

Oh, you think so?

Sure.

Fuck yeah.

In a decade or two, and like the original Mr.

Potato Henry.

When this generation calms down and they're like, whoa, what were we saying?

No, and they've moved on to something else.

Right.

What are they mad about?

Yeah,

they can bring Mr.

Potato back

in more, you know, nice and quiet.

But who even gives a calmer war?

When he comes back, who gives a shit?

Why?

Kiss.

If you told me they discontinued Mr.

Potato Head, I'd be like, all right, I don't know.

Let's say they were selling the Mr.

Potato Head brand name, the license, the copyright and everything.

Sure.

Would you go bid on it?

How much?

Going up to auction?

What's the price at when I notice it?

$1 million.

No.

No.

You don't think you can make $2 million off Mr.

Potato?

I don't want to be in the Mr.

Potato business.

I would buy it.

Be practical Joker potato heads.

There's someone.

Oh, that would be great.

Four different versions that the fans would bottle for.

I don't own the name I'm practical Joker, so I couldn't broker that tenderloin.

Yeah.

Tenderloins.

People are going to be busting down the door for the fucking Mr.

Potato.

Tenderloin.

Can't make a potato

beer or something.

I could, but I mean, what's that going to do?

You can put them on the label.

A child store on a beer label?

I think that more people would have a problem with that than dropping the Mr.

I don't know.

There's got to be a way for you to recoup that million just dropped on a dying license.

What would you spend?

What's the most you would spend?

Or do you're just not interested?

I'm not interested in that.

50 grand.

No.

No way.

You give me 10.

I would go in 50 grand easily on Mr.

Potato Head.

Well, what would you do with it?

Just create an ⁇ first off,

Disney would make them pay through the roof if they want to do a new toy story.

Well, I'm sure they have an existing licensing deal with it that you have to honor.

I can't honor that shit.

I know.

He just spent his hard-earned money.

A good lawyer can get me out of that contract.

This is why I don't want you to get involved in this.

I'm on a high right now.

We know.

You got to go to this L C V store.

All new merch and I'll be like, well, look at a brand challenge.

Yeah, I don't think that's the way to go.

There was a guy, remember that store, Fashion Bug?

Yeah.

My wife used to go there.

All right, so that went out of business, and there was this genius guy.

I don't know anything about him.

I don't know.

I mean, this is a few years ago, but he bought the trademark for, because, you know, they have those companies that sell, and he bought it for like $20.

And with it came the fashion bug Twitter account.

And so he just declared himself the fashion bug.

And I'm like, to me, it's like, that's worth every cent.

Well, he only paid $20 for it.

That's what I would be interested in, not to buy it to start a business.

But you know what?

I brought back RNH.

I did it.

Yeah, I mean, and it's been working out for me so far.

Mr.

Potato Head, though, is worldwide recognition, though.

Yeah, I know.

I know.

And you can get it into any state, any country.

You don't have to go through all these restrictions and laws and bullshit.

Fortunately or unfortunately,

it looks like they're doing okay now with the new rebranding.

So they won't be selling anytime soon, I don't think.

Yeah, so it's just potato head, Mr.

Bread.

People are upset about this, or most people are upset about this.

It's just Brian.

I read that this morning.

No, wait, no,

this is is the wrong story.

This is meet Elizabeth Ann the Ferret, the first endangered American animal.

No,

I want to ask you about that because this is a very slippery slope.

Okay.

Dealing with a lot of, you know, coming off Mr.

Potato Head controversy.

Yeah, look at this guy.

He's cute.

I would clone him, too.

I want a million of them.

Go ahead, Walt.

But this ferret is endangered.

It may not, you know, it could become an extinction-level event for this ferret.

Yeah.

Should we be cloning it, the scientific community?

Do we have a right to play God?

And like, isn't it the strongest survive?

And that's the

order of things?

Does it seem like that's the order of things these days?

What?

The strongest survive?

In the animal kingdom, it's still.

In the animal kingdom, those rules still apply.

Right.

Thank God,

not human existence doesn't have to live by those rules because we're more advanced than animals.

But in the animal kingdom, should we be stepping in and saving?

Yeah.

I think we should.

I think we should bring back the Woolly Mammoth.

That would be awesome.

Bring it all back.

Bring them back.

Jurassic Park this shit for me.

I'm happy to.

It always goes wrong.

I know, but here's the thing.

I have neither children nor French bulldogs.

So I take you on.

It's like a baby.

I'm like, bring that crazy shit on.

What's the worst that's going to happen?

Like, I'll be dead in 40 years.

Like, bring them.

Bring the Woolly Mammoths back.

Clone the dodo bird, bring that back.

I want to see all that weird shit.

Okay, but what if

we have a fly instance where there's something inside the animal, some sort of bacterial, some sort of micro

knit, like one of the little fucking extinct fleas

that's on there, on the hair as well?

Wait,

does it bring everything back to life or just the hair?

You think they just put the hair in a machine and it clones whatever's in it?

And if a flea happens to be

insert the DNA into an egg and put that in a viable bearing thing that gives birth to it.

Right.

Yeah.

It says all black-footed.

So far, you know, they'll eventually clone them in tanks, I guess, right?

They might get all fucked up genetically, though.

All black-footed ferrets alive today are descended from just seven individuals.

Whoops.

Wow.

Which presents a unique challenge to recover the species.

This little ferret's birth is a hopeful moment to boost its numbers because her potential offspring could diversify the species.

But are we at fault for this species being this close to extinction?

Because if we're at fault, then yeah, okay, I could see it.

You can make the argument.

But if it's just like, no,

it

doesn't have the balls to fucking make it in this continuity.

Nature selected it.

Right.

Then we should not be saving it then because that's God just saying, like, you know what, it had its run, and it can't hack it.

Get the fuck, you know, it's time to pull the plug.

But, I mean.

Because if it's not, because

there's a natural order to things, and we're fucking fucking with it if we do shit like this.

Yeah, but we fuck with it every day just by our medications and stuff like that.

That's on an individual level.

But we're not changing nature, though, by doing that at all.

We're extending human life way past the point that

it was built to do.

We are.

And I guess you can make the argument, though, that that knock-on effect of doing that, extending millions of people's lives longer than they should be living, is going to have an effect on the environment and have an effect on that knock-on effect.

If it has an effect on the environment, it has an effect on the animals.

Everything.

Everything.

Everything's affected.

But what's the worst that happened?

Like, putting aside the flea on it,

what's the worst that happens?

Like cloning and bringing back the woolly mammoth?

Oh, the woolly mammoth?

Well, even this thing.

We don't need another fucking rodent for, though.

What's the point, though?

What's the point of anything?

Well, I think it's just scientists being like, oh, look what we can do.

Fucking, we'll show you.

But you know what's funny is like society has moved so fast that nobody, remember when Dolly the Sheep, everybody was like, holy fuck, we're cloning, we're here.

And now everybody's, I bet you two people, people might be hearing about that for the first time on this podcast.

That's how little a cloned animal even fucking impacts us anymore.

They said cats, deer, dogs, horses, mules, rabbits, and other mammals have all been cloned, but the full potentials and drawbacks of cloning remain unclear.

This is the part I like because I haven't gotten the COVID vaccine yet.

Black-footed ferrets were added to the list of cloned animals due to their perilously low population numbers and are so close to extinction that about 120 of the species are vaccinated from COVID-19 in December.

Wow.

Yet, humans

cannot get the fucking vaccine.

Insane.

That's insane.

That is insane.

Now,

I agree with that move.

I agree with that move.

You don't care anymore.

You're super

pussies can't hack COVID.

Oh, I caught shit, by the way,

I caught shit for two different things.

One, for

saying that I felt like a bad cold.

Some people on Twitter were like, you can't say that.

You're going to convince people that it's not that bad.

Don't say that.

Oh, really?

I didn't answer him, but I was ashamed.

But I was like, but that was my experience.

Yeah, so you're not allowed to actually say how you feel, though.

Yeah.

Everybody's going to feel differently, though.

I mean, that's, I mean, you can hope that you have the same experience you do, but you're not saying that they are.

What I would have said is: one, anybody that comes to one of the impractical jokers for medical advice deserves whatever they get.

Like, nobody should be going to my Twitter feed to figure out how to live that.

But they're also not even saying, hey, Q, what should I do?

You're just saying, like, hey, this is how I felt.

And they're like, what?

What?

And the only reason I did it is because I was going to fucking knew I was going to talk about it on Tellum Steve, Dave.

So I was like, let me just get it out ahead of it so I don't have to do it.

You know what I mean?

Like, people are like, where did I hear that?

So if you had said you were like,

like Sarge L.A.

where like, you know, like, I didn't know if I'd make it, that would be okay for this one person, admittedly, yeah.

Wow, going back to this clone, though, if you had to bet everything you own, like, somebody had a gun to your head,

or your potato head fortunes

someone had a gun to your potato head,

and they're like, you gotta, you gotta go all in, everything you own.

Has a human being been cloned yet?

Yeah, in secrecy, I think so.

You think so?

I think so.

You think there's there's clones walking around

amongst us?

Not amongst us.

I think we're talking about.

Because don't the Chinese,

they're not part of that international group that says, let's not do cloning.

Is that true?

I think so.

Let's get them.

Well, there's nothing anybody could do now.

Not anybody can do.

Except wear a mask.

Help me out.

Done.

Thank you.

He's learning.

He's learning a lesson today.

Now you're starting to think, well, you're walloping.

And that's the...

You'll never go wrong.

You could get on all those fucking hills and be like your righteousness and be like, oh, I'm fucking sticking true to myself.

Ready to die.

But it means nothing.

Do what I do.

I should create this app, right?

Where it's like, where you hold your phone up to the night sky, and

when you get to the North Star, all it does, this app, all this picture app does, is replace it with

a dollar sign.

Oh.

And have that dollar sign be your North Star,

and you'll be great.

And like you put it to the moon, and it's just Benjamin Franklin rate on.

I'll tell you what, and if they put Harriet Tubman on the money, then that moon turns to Harriet Tubman.

I don't give a fuck.

You'll spot me a tubby.

As long as I get my stacks.

That's easy to die.

You should get that tattooed on your stomach.

As long as I get my stacks.

That goes all the way around.

The only way to navigate the insincerity and the fucking arrogance that is society today is just, for me, was kind of like just checking out and just being like, all right, how do I get home?

I try to do that.

And then I'll just go, oh, what's in the New York Post?

I'm like,

I can handle Lady Gaga getting her dogs kidnapped.

I'm like, that's pretty fucked up.

You know, it's, I don't know.

I find it interesting that somebody would shoot somebody four times for a couple of dogs.

But then you get to the other shit.

Potato head really bugged you that much?

No, potato head.

Victor was the one who told me about potato head.

Like, I gave it a cursory glance.

I'm like, I don't really care.

But going back to the cloning thing, so you think that there's a possibility that we have come into contact with clones and we don't even know it?

No.

No.

I believe those clones are made in a lab and then either destroyed or

something like that.

Yeah, I don't think so.

So at what age?

Yeah, like, are they kids?

Probably.

They just waited until they got to.

No, they wouldn't have killed them that early.

What they would have done is they wanted to monitor the brain development, you know what I mean?

Let them grow.

Let's see if they follow the normal path, learning to walk, learning to talk, see what sort of methods.

You gotta let them live a little bit, but I think after a while they're like, oh, fuck, we're in a lot of trouble if somebody finds this clone.

This is any Americans who are doing this, but in other industries,

in China and other countries, they may have clones walking around.

I think so.

And by the way,

I don't think it's above the United States doing it.

Like, if a story came out, the United States was cloning, I wouldn't be like, we did that?

I'd be like, yeah, it makes sense.

Yeah, but like, don't we have enough people?

Why do we need to create more people, though?

Especially China.

They got a billion people.

It's not about creating new people, it's about creating body parts.

It's about creating body parts, and it's about really rich people being able to put their minds in a new body and harvesting.

That's 100% what it is.

It's those fucking rich people up there.

How do we live forever?

They're slobs.

They're slobs, right?

In this instance, I'm on their side.

You know, give me a clone body.

Would you want a clone yourself, or would you be like, I want to put my brain in another body?

I want to see what it's like to live with another face.

Oh, no, I would want to be me.

You want to be?

Well, you'd still be you, but just no, I like looking in the mirror and seeing the it's not much, but that's what I want

to know.

It's not because I'm preening, I'm just like, I'm used to the disappointing.

I'm just cocking around in front of your mirror.

If it found out there was a, like, you know, there were clones

amongst us,

what kind of like rights would they have, though?

Would they have the same sort of rights?

I think you got to give them full rights.

Oh, I think so.

Today, you do fucking better.

There's going to be somebody like that who are like,

oh, suddenly clones aren't people.

You know, they'd be all over your ass teaching you a lesson like that.

Suddenly, I'm trying to get over the Brooklyn Bridge, and there's a bunch of fucking clones marching and holding up traffic.

I'm like, get rid of them.

Turn at the glass.

Would there be people who weren't clones who would be like, I identify as a clone?

Yes.

Yes.

And you know what?

I'd have to believe them.

I guess you're a clone.

You can't disprove it.

You're a clone, bro.

Go for it.

Yeah.

Yeah, there's a lot of implications, though.

Like, it's really, really

not a good idea, though, for anybody to be cloning anything, anything that's living, I don't think.

I disagree.

I mean, I know you could do the medical thing where, you know, like someone needs a heart or someone, like,

but you're still gonna take it from you you you grew a human body to get that heart though.

Yeah, but they no, you don't grow the whole body and then remove the heart.

They're working out ways that they could just grow just like an ear on a rat?

Yeah, shit like that.

It's gonna be crazy.

They're gonna 3D forget about growing.

They're gonna 3D print using

using bio material.

They're just gonna build body parts out of that.

That's where it's going.

Whether they just type it in and a heart comes out.

I'm a little bit more.

Like whenever somebody's like, you know, you're smart, I'm like, you're fucking stupid for thinking I'm smart.

Like these people are smart.

People are doing that kind of shit.

I did show you a lot of fucking posts that.

Don't think that.

I don't recognize those people.

Probably a bunch of clones.

They're clones of fucking dickheads.

Because when you do clone something over and over again, you lose a lot of.

Like, let's say we took Giddam Cells.

Let's.

And we cloned him.

Yeah.

I don't think he'd be 148, though.

I think he would be, you know, every clone would be diluted and less intelligent than the original, like a VHS tape.

You might not notice it on the first generation.

I think by the time you get to the fucking next generation, you know,

I'm 48.

Yeah, why?

But what institution is fucking making multiple fucking clones of kidding?

I mean, if we could sell them here, how great would that be?

You're the Blackfoot ferret of the world.

I want you.

Yeah.

Why do you think people,

because Dolly was the shit?

He was on the cover of Time magazine.

Why did people lose interest?

Why do people just not care?

Well, because I think the science community was like, we're never going to do it again.

Now they're doing it.

They took a lot of heat

in an era before the internet.

It was a big religious thing, too.

Oh, yeah.

I mean, even stem cells wasn't like George W.

I mean, that was

part of my fucking language.

That was fucking retarded for him to not allow that kind of shit.

Like, stuff that could kill, like, save people in the future.

What's the fuck?

Because of God, you fucking idiot.

And then the next one, the George Jr.

is like,

I'm mad at Saddam Hussein.

He killed my dad.

Or he went after my dad, and then he praised to God.

Who are you in the middle?

This is George Jr.

That was your George Jr.

That's my George Jr.

He's an almighty fuck like this shit.

He's toddering.

But

George Jr.

talking about how Saddam Hussein tried to kill his dad and he would pray to God about it and shit.

Like,

I don't like my government involving religion so much and basing shit on religion.

Yeah,

that's true.

It doesn't usually go well for governments that

use a heavy hand with the religion, too.

No, not really.

We could pull it to a lot of countries that

some people are pretty sad.

I mean, they're trying.

I just heard they're trying to.

One of the IJ writers told me they're trying to ban Grand Theft Auto in some state.

Oh, Illinois, I think.

And I'm just like.

No, they're trying to.

If you sell it to, they're not trying to ban it.

I think if you sell it to a miner, you will get fined $1,000.

Well, there's a lot of.

You know, a seven-year-old video game.

Come on.

A lot of carnage, right?

Carjackings.

You just download.

But everybody bought shit digital.

So what's this law?

I don't know, but there's been a rise in carjackings, and that's what they attribute it to.

That is what they attribute it to.

A seven-year-old video game.

Not demonizing the fucking.

All right, got it.

Yeah.

This is why I'm like, yeah, but I don't want to talk about anything anymore because I think everybody's an idiot.

You have no choice but to

dude.

I was trying to do, I was talking to you earlier today about it.

I'm trying to deal with health insurance, and I can't even handle that.

Yeah.

Let alone fucking big, big ticket items like fucking politics and shit.

Like, nobody's looking to me for answers.

The fucking

insurance game, man, I don't know how it is for you guys.

Gross, disgusting.

Dude, they deny everything.

Yep.

It's fucking

full profits.

Fuck yeah.

Well, you think

that it's not the same for everybody unless you got

it.

Unless you're a politician and you got the fucking best of the best fucking insurance.

And those worth, I don't give a fuck if it's Democrat or fucking Republican.

They're all worthless.

They're all useless.

But they fucking got some great health care, though.

While everybody else has got to suffer and fucking plead and beg for

procedures and

policy specialists.

Yeah, yeah.

I know you must pay way more than I do, but I pay like, I think, $1,100 a month for me and Mary Beth.

So far, I've tried.

This is Oscar Insurance.

So far, I've tried to use it.

Oscar the Grouch.

Yeah.

Oscar the Grouch Insurance.

It doesn't sound like a great name for

this company.

A long time ago I had it.

It was like 20 years ago, and it was pretty decent.

It was more like the hip insurance.

It's real simple.

There's not a lot of paperwork and shit.

There's a hip version of insurance.

Yeah.

Yeah, it's basically owned by Cigna, I think, which is a massive corporation.

But

I go and I try to get the testosterone thing, the injections that I take.

Nope.

We don't cover them.

Somebody, they prescribe.

They still won't.

So even if you've got the gold standard, the platinum health.

The highest of the high where I'm paying $2,500 a month.

Yeah, then you probably could get

it.

But then I would just probably rather pay out of pocket.

And that's what I've done three times so far, just pay out of pocket or go to ShopRite and get their discount card.

Now I sound like an old man.

I'm like, you know how much I had to spend at the pharmacy?

I sound like George Jr.

That's it.

Speaking of health care, though,

a lot of people have been asking me.

I haven't answered it, though, because I figured to just wait for Telm Steve Dave.

Not only are we in our new digs, but there's a lot of new things in 2021.

Is it 2021?

I am no longer managing the secret stash.

Kevin announced it, so I can.

I didn't know if he was going to announce it or not.

Waltz, and I got my own story.

Go fuck yourself.

You know, that Kev was like, you know, he said to help

keep the stash alive that he asked me to take a demotion.

I could get to keep my health care and work for the stash, but not in the managerial role.

And

they would bump up Mike to manager.

And

as of yet, because it's all still so new, I don't have a real defined role yet in the.

So what do you do all day?

I come in and

articles on half birds.

I find hermaphrodite cardinal articles for you.

Can you just come in anytime you want?

Yeah.

There's no clock for you to punch, right?

No, there isn't.

So

the store opened on Monday, and I've been here every day

since the store opened, but not right when it opens.

On Monday, I was here right at when it opened because I knew it was going to be busy.

And, you know, I'll go out and talk to customers and I'll go out and, you know, sign, you know, I'll draw little sketches in their books if they want me to.

But

like I said, they're really, you know, it's still, you know, it just opened.

So there hasn't been a role yet.

Like, it hasn't been defined what they want me to do.

I told those guys, I told Kev and Mike, whatever you need me to do, man, I'm here to, you know, because I want, you know, if they're going to give me the health care, I want to feel like, you know, that they feel like it's worth it.

Sure.

So I want to do something to earn it.

But as of yet, though, you know, like I said, it's just

they're kind of

running a million miles an hour trying to get this place on the bus.

I'll tell you what, but I think that the Tellum Steve Dave General, the TSD Town General store, will be a draw for people and will get people in his store to come to Seattle.

I hope so.

I hope it has a little knock-on effect.

I mean,

we had a couple customers during the week.

Not crazy, man.

I mean, we had.

The first people online here were.

Yeah, but I mean,

to downplay that.

Yeah, well, I mean, but then I could go, well, yeah, we went fucking two straight days without a sales.

Oh, leave that part out.

I just mean, in terms of like feeling you deserve the medical.

But I definitely want them to be like, you know what?

Yeah, he

earned it rather than just, you know, coming in and sitting and looking up articles for Tellum Steve Dave

and going out there and maybe taking a picture with a customer or, like I said, drawing in a cryptozoic man.

But, you know, they know.

I told them like, what hey, whatever you need,

just tell me and I'll do it.

Mike's going to kick it into high gear.

I believe so.

Mike has, you know, I mean, he had to be ready, right?

I mean,

you think so?

He was chomping at the bit.

Well, I mean, it's like 20 years.

You know, he was, you know, he's

a long time to wait.

He's retiring next year.

Did you know that?

It's good for Mike.

Is he feeling like.

Like I said, I haven't really spoken to him at depth, but other than to tell him, I was like, dude, anything you need, any questions, anything I can do to make it help or

anything, just ask.

What if he became an unconscionable ball breaker?

Like he was just riding your ass.

Oh, that wouldn't be fun.

I don't see that happening now.

But, you know, I mean, I think the, like, you know, Monday, the grand opening was here, and, you know, there's people waiting outside.

So it was a pretty good kickoff.

Is the pressure on Mike?

To what?

To make it work.

To make this store perform.

Sink or swim.

I'm sure.

Because now, I mean, I hate to say this, but like now that

Kevin's friend of his entire life is out of the position, it makes it a lot easier to close the store.

Pressures on.

I mean, I think.

Not after this revamp, though.

I mean, holy shit, they put a lot of money into this.

That place is gorgeous, man.

It is.

Ernie O'Donnell did a wonderful job.

He helped in here, too.

He did a wonderful job in the Tom Steve Dave room,

painting and putting the counter together,

putting the TV up.

He's like, I mean, I considered him like a kind of carpenter contractor, but he's almost like he's an artisan.

I mean, he

really brings awesome work.

Artistic flair to his work.

He's such a nice guy, too.

I like talking about him.

But it's back to pressure, though.

I think if you're doing anything,

you should always put pressure on yourself.

If you're not putting pressure on yourself, I don't feel you are you're doing it right.

I think I agree with that.

You know, I mean, not to the point where you're like, it, it rules your life or you are it to your detriment.

Yeah.

But it's, you should put some level of like pressure to, yeah, you know, to just

to steal you.

My work style my entire life has been, this is my deadline.

And if it's two months out, I'm not going to start working until I'm two weeks away from the deadline.

Because

I need that.

If I don't have that, like, holy fuck, wait, what?

We got to get this in two weeks, then I just jerk off.

Like, I don't do anything until it's in that moment.

And then I start fucking getting down.

And like.

So

you have two months or you have eight weeks, but you want to wait till the two-week deadline.

Yes, I put a lot of thought to this.

Yeah.

I think, though, that's not a waste.

I think my process, those previous six weeks, is just some mental collecting of things and organizing things that I'm not even aware of.

And then I just need that.

Well, you need that.

Yeah, you need that, like, that anxiety to motivate you.

Like, okay, like, it's do or die.

Stay up till four in the morning.

Let's get this fucking done.

That's how I work.

Yeah.

Yeah.

I don't, I'm not that kind.

I like, like, if I have two months, I'm working on it two months out.

I want to be done with it a month later before a month later.

The way is much better because I've also blown countless deadlines.

The system isn't perfect.

Yeah, no, no, no.

There's a lot of people.

You can't do that.

Yeah, that would drive me absolutely crazy, though, to have that kind of like, holy shit, it's not going to happen.

That kind of like panic.

Yeah, I don't like that at all.

I like to be like.

It's sweeter when you hit a home run, though.

And you're like, I just pulled this out of my ass two days ago.

This is fucking phenomenal.

Yeah,

it's an interesting thing I've noticed about myself recently.

It really is amazing how,

at least in the New York Post, the

Lady Gaga dog thing has been all day top story.

There are other things going on.

Peter Gotti died.

See that?

Who?

Peter Gotti, John Gotti's brother.

Oh, how'd he die?

An old age in the prison, I guess.

I never had that

reverence for the mafia that a lot of people in Staten Island had.

Do you remember when John Gotti died,

like the parade, and there were like 20 limousines with all flowers and shit?

And you're just like, but he murdered people.

You know that, right?

He took advantage of people.

He was a vicious criminal.

He killed his friends.

Yeah.

Whoa, whoa, but he did set off fireworks on 4th of July.

I remember growing up on Staten Island, so many kids were like, my dad's in the mafia, my uncle's the mafia.

And I was always like,

he sounds like a dipshit, man.

All like loose associates, like not really in the mob.

Staten Island, you never know.

Yeah, that's true.

You got any ads?

We do have an ad.

Good

walt.

I totally forgot about it.

I was getting ready to say Tumpsey, David.

I remember you say this had to go out by Sunday.

I might.

I would have forgotten about it.

Let me see.

Where are we here?

Yeah, so while he's looking, though, I'm asking Ants, you know, if you're going to plan to come down and see the TSD General store,

email me the day before you're coming.

And this way I know to like, you know, because there are some days I may not show up because, like I said, there's days when we.

Oh, you're going to put that out there?

Yeah.

That means you're, but what if someone emails you and you don't come?

Well, I will

email them back and be like, I wasn't planning on coming.

Or, you know what, dude, yeah, I'm going to be there.

So, like, they.

But you're putting yourself in a position where you're going to, where, where.

Oh, dude, I got nothing.

I mean, I got nothing but free time.

But I don't.

No, well, you might disappoint someone because if you're not going to be able to do that.

Oh, I don't know.

Oh, yeah.

Well, I mean, there is a possibility that, I mean, I can't promise I'll be available for every single person that's like, I'm coming down tomorrow.

You're going to be there.

But if I can,

I'll try to come down tomorrow.

I guess that's good because if they're like, if I come down tomorrow, are you going to be there?

And you say no, then they can.

At least they knew.

Yeah.

So it's KMUS2 at Gmail.

If you're ever planning on stopping down,

and if I can accommodate,

I'll come in.

I mean, that's, you know, there's like a t-shirt cover charge if I come in.

What's the worst thing?

Ah, have the decency.

I mean, come on.

At least a fuck bump.

Or a skull.

Why don't you fucking sell one of the skulls?

They're over there, brother.

That's what I'm talking about.

Like, if you come down

on your day off to meet someone, the least they could do is buy a skull.

I mean, let's at least make them buy something they'll use, though.

You can't use a skull for anything.

A t-shirt they could wear.

And you won the why we don't sell them.

Yeah.

Fucking people out of it.

Yeah, but I don't want to like make someone, I'm not going to force someone to buy like a trinket that they can't use.

It's pointless and useless.

It's junk.

I know it's not.

It's awesome.

It's only because you don't give it the $5.

But like a hat or a t-shirt,

you're going to get a ton of use out of it.

It's gorgeous.

Okay.

Yeah.

What's the edge?

So, Carav is a wellness brand that makes it easy to maintain your health goals with a customized vitamin plan that helps you feel your best today and supports you long term.

High quality meets personalization.

All of Carav's products are formulated with a good-for-you, clean ingredients that are backed by science.

All you have to do is take a five-minute online quiz.

It will ask you questions about your diet, lifestyle, and health concerns and help you address your specific wellness goals.

Care of's holistic online quiz is like getting a one-on-one consultation with a nutritionist, all without leaving your house.

And who wants to leave their house anymore?

Not me.

You can get expert recommendations or adjust your pack at any time.

What you receive is totally up to you.

February can be your fresh start to a new year.

Your resolutions don't have to be big.

Small, impactful changes are just as important like adding a daily vitamin to help your energy, sleep, or fitness to target those goals, whether in the short or long term.

I took the quiz.

Very short, very easy.

I still get the vitamins.

I like them.

I need something.

Did you?

I really enjoyed that they were packed for you every day in a nice package, a little pouch.

So

you knew if you opened it up and took it.

I found that was my biggest problem before is I was always forgetting if I had taken my vitamins or something.

You have a redactive memory.

Yeah, but I would then I would remember taking it days before and like it would get confused.

So this I could look down and see, oh, okay, I ripped open the pouch for today.

I knew I took it, and that helped me out a lot.

Yeah, I agree.

Sometimes I forget if I take my medication in the morning.

But you don't have a redactive memory, though.

I don't.

Oh, he does.

What does that mean?

I can throw a date out.

I could be like August 12th, 2003.

So here's 2:30 p.m.

He has a photographic memory, you're saying?

Well, we got to look back.

I'm just throwing a date out.

I don't know what to say.

Yeah.

Anyway, for 50% off your first care of order, go to take care of.

You just said you're at the fucking track.

No, I was at MDNA at that time.

Oh, okay.

Oh, so a general kind of like, oh, all right.

You're right, I don't have that.

At that point in time, get on the bike.

At that point in time, I had finished putting out the mail for the day and I was thinking about taking a nap.

I remember it well.

Wow.

Five days of any week, though.

But he can't remember later in that afternoon if he took vitamins or not.

I'm not sure what's going on here.

For 50% off your first care of order, go to takecareof.com and enter code T-E-S-D50.

For 50% off your first care of order, go to take care of.

That's T-A-K-E-C-A-R-E-O-F.com and enter code T-E-S-D5-0.

All right.

So, Mando lady, was she, I don't remember what she was part of the conversation or not.

Yeah, she should have kept it.

Oh, she needed the app.

Yeah, she needed the app.

The North Star app.

And that's really what it all comes down to:

once you say something other people don't like, it costs you money.

Well, to be fair, she had a lot of shots.

I mean,

they let her go for a while.

One of her friends should have been like, dude, like,

come on.

I'm not saying you shouldn't say what's on your mind, but I am saying you're getting that fucking sweet Star Wars money.

So maybe for a few years, you just clamp it down.

And then when you're on the con circuit with everybody else,

spew whatever the fuck you want.

That's when I heard that story.

My thought was just like, that's why you're stupid.

She should only be tweeting four words all the time.

I can't believe it.

I can't believe it.

Was she like an MMA lady?

She was an MMA lady.

Yeah, I thought I liked her on the show.

I'm sorry to see the character go, but

she was MMA.

I don't know.

I can't get into someone's mindset like that.

You're working for Disney.

Yeah.

Disney.

Yeah, it's not like you're working for Troma.

Just fucking roll, man.

Just roll.

Show your belly.

What was that Fat Stack tattoo you have?

Fat Stack.

Her stacks have been cut short now.

That's not good.

So what do they do now?

I mean, you have to think that whole next season was laid out.

Yeah, she wasn't a major character.

She was only in a few episodes here.

You could easily, she could never be on that show again, and nobody would be like.

They weren't building her towards something?

They probably were, but

I mean, they could just start the next season two years later, and nobody would even give a shit.

Yeah.

I don't think anybody's going to miss her too much.

But yeah, that's, I don't know.

It's a situation, man.

I don't know why she just didn't shut up.

What are you going to do?

I don't know, man.

Because I don't know what you're going to accomplish.

Like, are you going to change people's minds and stuff like that?

Like, I don't get it.

I don't know.

Like, just

like you could have brought your, you were in Disney, man.

You had free passes to fucking disneyland for the rest of your life the golden treatment she could have brought her fucking nieces and nephews there and they would have given her her own line and everything like that like she had like

like set up she was in an ass-kissing situation she was in in the only star wars property that everybody likes in the past like in the past 40 years she was part of and and and and people liked her in it and she it's like

self-destructive i just yeah i hate to see it happen but you know

But what's the mindset in the moment?

Because, like, even though I've tweeted shit that people would be like, what the fuck would you tweet that for?

I mean, it hasn't been in some time.

And I wasn't on Disney.

I wasn't a big

podcast.

You're on a podcast.

I mean, you're not on Disney.

I mean, like, what?

I just.

You're a no-drug addict.

I mean, you know,

like, he's a wild card.

He's low.

We're like, he's crazy.

You don't know what he's fucking.

I've known him fucking 30 years.

I don't know what he's going to say next.

Bitch in a moment about potato head.

There's a vein on on his neck for potato head.

Yeah.

Steve Dave.

I'm going to cut this short.

I know where it's going.

I've been around here too many years.

I know exactly where it is.

I can see where the train's rolling off the tracks.

And when Tom Brady's throwing at our Super Bowl, it ain't going to be caught by somebody the way we're going right now.

Hold up, my app.

Just hold up the app, man.

There it is.

I don't know.