#468: Orange Man
Listen and follow along
Transcript
We treat McDonald's as if like they're fucking war criminals.
You attack Koch was so great, it was worth killing for.
I don't know how you could force a monkey to do anything it doesn't want to do.
That cock was
that cock was cock, cock, cock so great.
Cock cock, cock, so great.
So great, so great.
That cock was so great, cock, cock, so, so great.
It was worth killing for.
Tell him, Steve, Dave.
Hello, and welcome to this week's edition of Tell him, Steve, Dave.
This is Bry,
and I am here with Walt.
Yo.
And I am here with Q virtually.
Hello.
Hey, yo.
You're looking good.
I'm looking good.
Yeah.
I lost four pounds, boys.
Four whole pounds.
That's a nice start.
Congrats.
It's a nice little bump, isn't it?
For one week?
That's not bad.
Yeah.
How'd you do it?
You know,
this is going to sound...
I cut out oranges.
So here's what's going on.
I eat so many oranges a day.
I'm like a fucking monkey in a cage.
Like every time I walk through my kitchen, I'll grab like a little tangerine or like clementine.
And by the end of the day, I'm like,
I mean, I've eaten like 12 of them, they're 500, they're 50 calories each.
I didn't realize that.
Oh, really?
So I was packing in like an extra 600 plus calories a day
just enjoying a lovely, healthy orange.
So I cut out oranges.
Yeah.
So I cut it.
I mean, you know.
I did notice your gums were looking beautiful lately.
No scurvy.
None at all, man.
No scurvy.
No black spots.
Nice and clean.
Yeah, none of that.
I think, like most people, and me included, I would think that that was completely
healthy and appropriate snack.
Like you could have as many oranges as you wanted during a day, and that's much better than having like a Milky Way or a Kit Kat.
Yeah.
Well, I'm sure it is, just you shouldn't do that either,
is, I guess, what they're saying.
I don't even know if
I don't know if all I know is like I looked that up, I did the math in my head about calories and just didn't do them.
And that's pretty much the biggest change I made, and that's how I lost weight.
So now, do you find that you're like jonesing for your tangerine fix?
You know what, dude?
I'm being a man about it.
I'm leaving that bowl of them right there.
You know, and I walk past it.
You know, I'm not saying I can't have one with breakfast.
You know what I mean?
I don't want to.
Let's not go crazy.
You know what I mean?
Cold turkey on oranges.
You guys are fucking nuts.
Jesus Christ.
I mean, cry.
You know the struggle.
So, no, I keep it out in the open, and I just remind myself that I am a fat, disgusting piece of human shit.
And
if I keep eating them goddamn oranges like I've been, I'm going to remain that way.
So I'm trying to really
make it a mental game.
What's your goal?
Like, what are you shooting for?
You're shooting for a certain body type, a certain weight?
I would like my clothes to fit me without feeling like I'm wearing like my little brother's clothes.
That would be a nice start.
Yeah, I mean, just I have a weight.
I have a goal.
I have a goal in my head.
I'd like to lose from where I am right now under the 20 pounds.
Right.
Yeah.
That's about where I'm at.
Yeah.
I restarted.
I'm reinvigorated from two days ago.
Like there's a certain, yeah, there's certain moments in your head.
You're like, okay, that's it.
I'm going to do this.
And you know goddamn well well, you're not going to do it.
Yeah.
You know, you know, it's a matter of a couple days before you're back in that tangerine bowl.
Where the fuck are the sun kissed?
They're in season, goddammit.
They should be around.
But this time, yeah.
Just jerking off.
Who's that fucking lady that in Ann Margaret?
Not Ann Margaret.
Who is that one that?
Oh, Anita Bryant.
What was that?
I didn't get that.
Anita Bryant.
She was like the spokeswoman for Florida Oranges and was in the 70s.
In the 70s.
And a
notorious homophobe
who strongly argued for homosexuals to be denied housing based on their sexual orientation.
She lobbied for it.
I'm the new Anita Bryant.
She's been lost to history.
I don't know why.
Yeah.
She was big into
those beach blanket movies.
Yeah.
She was a former actress, right?
She's still alive if she's gone.
Oh, she's got to be dead.
If she's not dead,
she's probably just like hanging on for dear life.
I'll look it up, Anita Bryant.
This isn't like, this is not certainly not a woke moment for me, but I am trying to get into the headspace of someone who's like, you're gay, therefore you can't not even live next to me.
You can't live anywhere if you're gay.
She's alive.
She's 80.
Holy shit.
She's a single.
I mean, she's only 80.
The first line in her thing is, Anita Jane Bryant is an American singer and anti-gay rights activist.
Nothing about oranges?
Grand ambassador from 69 to 80 for Florida Citrus Commission.
But yeah, that's way down in the paragraph.
She started that shit in like mid-70s, so they gave her a little while.
Yeah, it was a different time.
The Orange Commission was not worried about a bad image.
There was no social media to
tear it down.
In 1969, Brian participated in a rally for decency.
Oh, that was about Jim Morrison.
Wow, she sounds like a real blast, this one.
Yeah, she sounds fun.
And really, ironically, she was in all those movies about
being on the beach and dancing and having fun and shit.
Yeah, but not the kind of fun that they were really having in the 60s.
Right, that's true.
Yeah, I mean, like, she was all in.
Yeah, she wasn't even no petting.
Oh, no, No, nothing.
No, no, a good girl wouldn't.
No.
Wow.
She really hates gay people.
She's almost.
She's just crazy.
She's still at it.
I thought she came around, though, towards the end, though.
I thought she gave up that crusade.
That's not the case, though.
The gay community
continued to regard Brian's name as synonymous with bigotry and homophobia.
So it doesn't appear that she's
repaired that.
Wow.
That would be a weird thing to take to your grave.
Like, are they still allowed to live in apartments?
Did you fade away?
And that's why, when people are like, when they get fucking all riled up about like gay rights and stuff like that, and you're like, yeah, like, motherfucker, you don't know what it's like to have Anita Bryant come after you.
Like, could you, like, that's how fucking much they had to deal with.
They couldn't even get out of bed in the morning without Anita Bryant wanting to take take away their housing, their beds and shit like that.
There was a spate of, in, I think, the 90s into the early 2000s of people
that happened to Bill Gates.
Like, they would come up with a cream pie and smash it in their face.
I think I remember this.
Like whipped cream, yeah.
And they did it to Anita Bryant.
She was at some sort of
some sort of event, and she's sitting at a table with a bunch of people up front in front of a large crowd.
And someone just comes from the side, and it's like, wham!
whipped cream all over the place.
Oh, it so that sucks.
That'll ruin your day.
Oh, yeah, oh, yeah.
Like, somebody really has to not give a fuck about you to put a cream pie in your face, or give so much of a fuck that it's like, I will not be stopped.
Today, you would be again,
back then, you could hit a person with a cream pie, and people are like, hey,
you know, like you might spend a night in jail, but you're not going to get any serious charges.
Now, you'd be shamed on Twitter.
You wouldn't be able to, you know.
Oh, you'd lose your job.
Yeah.
Yeah, everything.
Sorry.
Unless you're a masked pie man.
Unless you're what?
What if the masked pie man, you know, you got a mask on?
Oh, okay.
Are you fast?
Because,
like, if I put a mask on and smashed a pie in somebody's face within less than 10 seconds, I'd be caught.
Yeah, they got you.
You're not good for that role.
All right.
But whose face is worth smashing a pie in anymore?
People would say Trump, for sure.
People would say Trump, I guess.
But like, he's so outspoken that it's like maybe some YouTubers.
But was that what it was?
It was like it was a, it was, um, they were protesting, or is it like that guy who got Tom Cruise on the red carpet with the microphone that was a squirting device?
I think was it just a merry prankster?
I think it was a prankster, right?
I don't even know what you guys are talking about.
I don't remember this.
Oh, really?
Yeah, they did it to Bill Gates.
I remember they did it to Anita Bryant.
They did it to a few people.
But I think it's like if they're unhappy with your platform or what you stand for, you'll probably get a whipped cream pie in the face.
And it's harmless enough, I think, that they can be like, oh, it's not like I hit him in the face with a brick.
It was whipped cream.
How big of a pussy are you?
Although I found out after putting soda on a lady at an Olive Garden, it does count as a salt.
Yeah.
You didn't get that expunged yet?
Yeah, it's still on my record.
Can't get a job.
I can't get housing.
I'm like a gay person in 1975.
Yeah.
Speaking of masks, Walt and I were talking the other day about these Capitol rioters.
We haven't really spoken about it.
We don't really talk about politics.
But I did want to, well, first off, Walt had a pretty good point where, like,
I think that
I think that their politics are such that they're so anti-mask that they're like, we're going to prove it by storming the Capitol without masks on.
Because, well, it's like, you live in a society where, like, you wear a mask, you pull your hat down a little, nobody knows who the fuck you are.
You're not kicking back with a fucking cigar at Nancy Pelosi's desk or taking away.
That's what I said.
I said the same thing about the looters in New York City.
When they would show the footage here, looking for the people who were tearing apart the stores, I'd be like,
you have every excuse to wear a mask.
You should be wearing a mask.
Plus, you're committing a crime.
How the fuck are you looking right at the camera and smiling?
It is.
It makes no sense.
It makes no sense.
No sense.
I was reading about
this kid.
An 18-year-old Texas man tipped off the FBI about his father's role in the U.S.
Capitol riot and said he'd do it again.
He said he acted out of moral obligation.
So I did what I thought would protect not only my family, but my dad himself.
He's going to teach his dad a lesson
by sending him to jail.
If that was like, if he was going to get caught some other way,
it still sucks.
But if that's, if the only way he was going to get caught was if his son turned him in,
that's a fucking.
I mean, look, I think the people that stormed the Capitol are kind of, you know,
let's just say ding batty, but
much like, much like Mike and Ming when they tried to get their sons into Brookdale by vibing
some Brookdale clerks.
A couple of ding bats.
It's just a little fucking, there's some, you know, ding ding bats down there doing it.
But I wouldn't turn, I mean, to turn in your dad is like, you must hate your dad, or you're a fucking self-righteous prick.
Can you ever forgive your son if he turns you in for any crime?
Well, I mean, I guess there are some crimes, yeah.
Like you kill your wife, his mother, yes, sure, yeah, you, yeah, but I mean, even this one, I mean, you could be really gutted and torn up, you know, inside that your father did this.
But how, like,
because he's going to go away for a long time.
Oh, for sure.
I don't know how, I mean, I don't know how you could live personally.
You're going to be celebrated on social media, yeah.
But, like, when you go to bed at night and know your father's in a fucking federal prison,
a traitor to the United States.
Well, you're going to be surprised.
You're going to be surprised because here's the other part of the story.
The elder,
the dad, allegedly threatened his son son and daughter saying, if you turn me in, you're a traitor.
And you know what happens to traitors?
Traitors get shot.
He may have had no choice then.
I never thought he would act upon it.
He said his dad is part of a far-right militia group and that he's embraced, that he has embraced increasingly radicalized views over the years.
Yeah, but maybe his father really is the worst of the worst of those types.
Could be.
You know, in which case, if that was the knowledge that I had, I'd be like, fuck that guy.
I'd turn him into.
He sounds like an asshole.
I mean, not my father,
but I can understand somebody else doing it.
I'm Italian rules, man.
Family before government.
Yeah, that's pretty.
I think that's pretty silly.
Even if even me, who I haven't seen my father in almost 30 years, if I was watching TV and I was like, holy fuck, that's my dad on there on TV.
I would be like,
I would not be calling anywhere.
I'd be like, you know what?
If he gets caught, he gets caught.
But I can't fucking fucking live with that on my conscience.
That I called and snitched on him.
What do you call the feds, you son of a bitch?
Like, you know, you have experience with the federal government.
If you refer to them as the feds, you never hear good people calling them the feds or people who aren't in trouble.
Let me ask you about the capital riots.
Who could you have heard
got picked up in it that you know personally that you would be kind of like amused that they got that they got picked up Amused?
Well, like, kind of like, oh my God, or stunned.
Like, who, who, who's the talking?
Like, if like Ladondo got arrested for fucking trying to steal the podium.
Well, I would be really stunned considering his political leanings.
That's who I'm looking for.
Like, someone, I guess I answered my own question.
How fucking crazy would it be if Ladondo got arrested this morning?
Yeah, I would be floored.
Big smile.
Oh, I'd be like, he's got to have a brain tumor because that's not that boy.
I took a dump in Pelosi's bowl.
Walt, did you get your license?
I read that
you can move to what state was it now?
Hold on just a second.
Tell me the government isn't trying to fucking cash in on anything possible.
This is in Oklahoma.
A Midwestern lawmaker is hoping Sasquatch can bring in some fast cash.
Oh, I saw this.
You can hunt Bigfoot if you get a hunting license.
You get a hunting license and you could hunt Bigfoot.
He says he hopes to secure $25,000 in funding to be offered as a bounty for the creature.
Well, I think
if the license has some graphics on it, some cool, like, I think you will get people like, I'll pay $25 for a hunting license, you know, just to whip it out of your wallet at a bar.
You know, you're like, I'm allowed to shoot a Yeti.
Right.
I'm probably worth it for the novelty.
But
what's the fallout, the unintended consequences of this, though?
Like,
now you've got people who are like, okay, I'm allowed to go out and just shoot at fucking things that walk on two legs.
And I could say, oh, I thought it was a fucking Bigfoot.
You're allowed to shoot at Bigfeet.
What if they were in the woods when we were shooting that Patreon content that played?
I'd get blown away.
Yeah, but I mean, is it really any different from, I mean, presumably that it would be on lands where hunters are already.
I think you're inviting accidental shootings for a non-existent creature.
Yeah, it's like you can go out ghost hunting and shoot bullets at ghosts.
Because, I mean, they're in Oklahoma.
It's Pacific Northwest.
It's where Bigfoot is.
Nobody believes in, nobody's going to hunt Bigfoot.
Nobody believes they're going to kill a Bigfoot.
Isn't there a TV?
There are TV shows on fucking Travel's channel that would definitely disagree with UQ.
Oh, shit.
No, they don't.
Because the producers in the wood fucking clipping on, hitting sticks together and fucking making noises.
And the host is like, what was that?
Well, I agree with you on that, but I don't think it makes their resolve any less steadfast.
I think the Bigfoot hunters are there for Bigfoot.
Like, some of these guys, just like the ghost hunters, like Tom Mum told us that, like, these people really do believe it.
I don't know if they really.
I mean, I'm always of the mindset, like, yeah, they're saying it, and they're like they're in character, and they're not going to break character, but I don't know if anybody really believes they're fucking actually hunting ghosts.
I don't think so.
I read a quote from George Carlin the other day, and I had heard it, but I forgot about it.
And he's like, think of how stupid the average person is.
And then you have to realize half of the people are stupider than that.
Wow, I never heard that before, man.
That's fucking awesome.
Yeah, that is a genius quote, man.
So what happens?
George, though, if you have a hunting license, Q, you got one.
You're legally
okay to go out and poach a Bigfoot, and
you hear somebody in your alleyway, you hear garbage cans rustling in the middle of the night.
Yeah.
Are you able just to go out and shoot at something that looks tall and hairy?
But again,
I kind of like that.
You have to be on certain grounds.
Yeah, I would think you'd have to be on certain grounds.
Oh,
it's not just licensed to kill anywhere.
Oh, I don't think so.
I don't say anything about that.
Like, if you see Bigfoot in a residential area, you're not like a Walmart.
He said
the political, the poll's proposal caught Oklahoma Department of Wildlife Conservation off guard.
He told Televis television station KOCO that the agency actually doesn't recognize Bigfoot and only uses science-driven research in its wildlife management decisions.
So it sounds like this guy is not going to get his thing off the ground.
You go on vacation, Q, to the Pacific Northwest.
You
unintentionally kill a Bigfoot.
Like with his car or something?
With your car or just with a club.
This is just the plot of Harry and the Hen this episode.
But knowing your position
in the world today,
do you want that?
Do you want to be the guy that kept like that brought back the corpse of a Bigfoot or are you just like, I'm burying this fucking
really?
Because
you're going to get fucking attacked on social media.
I would rather be known as the guy that proved Bigfoot existed than be known as the guy from Impractical Jokers.
I think it's way cooler.
I think that'll last longer.
I think that's something that people will have to recognize 200 years from now, as opposed to Impractical Jokers, which no one will remember.
I don't know if you're going to get the
significant memories as the guy who fucking accidentally fucking rolled over Bigfoot and they're going to remember your name 200 years from now.
I don't know.
It's going to be that guy that was on TV who rolled over Bigfoot and killed this poor innocent creature who was just nursing.
You don't know.
He's now nursing.
He killed a Bigfoot mama and her babies.
Yeah.
Oh, he killed the babies too.
They're not just orphans.
Yeah, he killed all of them.
He killed them.
What I might do then is
take the mother and hide her under some leaves and just take one of the baby corpses and be like, I can't believe I found this.
Somebody must have run it over.
What is this?
Oh, yeah.
There's a lot to weigh.
I wouldn't be so quick to be like, to run back to civilization and be like, I did it.
Because I think there would be a fallout.
Oh, yeah.
Why?
I just don't trust social media.
Like, as the guy who brings back Bigfoot and also a female corpse, then they do a fucking autopsy, and it just had babies.
So now you left the babies to die like Bambi.
Yeah.
And, you know, I think that you're going to be raked over to Kohl's.
I would be terrified of the fallout for you.
I would tell you to hide it.
You don't think that.
You don't think that I
you don't think the move would be to make up a story and bring the corpse back?
I don't see how it's going going to benefit you.
I don't think monetarily you're going to benefit from this.
You really can't make money off of it.
You don't own the corpse, I don't think.
No, I can't have it stuffed or have it.
How many bones
get confiscated?
Why?
Because it's a significant fine.
I have a license.
I have a fucking license that says that I can hunt Yetis.
So if I had the person who issued that license thought like someone would bring a Yeti back, it's like, look at this asshole spending $25 for a license.
I think it would be like if you somehow bagged a dinosaur.
I don't think think you'd be able to keep it.
I think that the scientific community would fucking take it from you with force.
Well, I'll see them in court.
Yeah, I saw a guy just recently.
He was on a walk and he discovered like a whole bunch of fucking, for lack of a better word, like the balloons in this fucking,
in this big crate.
And it was like millions and millions and millions of dollars.
worth.
And it's like he just stumbled across it in a field.
But now it's like, well, whose field is it?
The government steps in immediately.
Oh, yeah, Q, you're going to fucking be, you're going to be a litigation hell.
You're going to be, you're not even going to ever see like you're, you're, you're going to be old and gray by the time they fucking figure out this, who really, who can make money off this corpse.
Yeah, and broke because they fucking drove you into bankruptcy.
I mean, don't, doesn't it, I saw National Treasure.
Doesn't the government like give you a 10% finder's fee when you find things like that?
Did you also see King Kong?
They fucking ruined that dude who brought King Kong back.
Yeah, but that was different.
King Kong like went berserk.
I'm just bringing a corpse back, man.
That's true.
How do I not own it?
I don't understand.
I would bleach its bones and I'd put it in the TESD general store
and people could pose near it and shit like that.
Our buddy Christ.
That would be great.
We should, this is, this is what we should write a screenplay about.
Yeah.
Yeah, this would be funny.
This would be really funny.
Do you remember we went to, I'm sure you do, we went to that museum in Key West and we were learning about like
these old freighters, Robert the Dahl.
These freighters that would come by, like, you know, on their way somewhere, they would go by Key West.
And what the people in Key West did, no, this is like, what, in the 1800s, I believe, they would turn off all the lights, like the,
what's it called, the
lighthouses and shit.
Oh, okay.
So they would run aground.
So they would run aground and then they would all
they'd put the lights in fake places.
Yeah.
Like the road runner and a coyote.
Yeah, so they would go towards it.
It was a fake tunnel on a fucking brick
wall.
Yeah.
Yeah, it wasn't as innocent as, like, let's just shut the lights off.
Like, these motherfuckers actually went out of their way to deceive people.
Well, yeah, they wanted them to run aground, and then, like, as soon as they did, there was some kind of maritime law that if a boat ran aground, you were allowed to plunder it.
Oh, my God.
So, these people, they would go in and just like steal everything off the boat after purposely making them crash.
I imagine that law has been stricken.
Probably, yeah.
Yeah, because these underwater divers who find shit, it's always up in question because they never find like, oh, look at this one little trinket.
It's always like, wow, here's a fucking bonanza of like $10 million or something.
They've been looking for it for fucking five years.
They have all kinds of funding and shit, you know?
I don't know.
It's living the fuck.
That's living like
a real fucking Indiana Jones.
Yeah.
That's your job?
To swim around looking for doubloons?
And then I'd be like, cool.
Oh, yeah.
That'd be awesome, right?
That's kind of like jet-setting to
all parts of the world looking for treasure.
That's a fucking story.
You walk into a bar, people are fucking mesmerized.
They're like, wait, hold on a second.
The guy who killed Bigfoot's over there.
What's that device, that Greek machine?
The something device that they found in the ocean?
Yeah.
It was like a calculator or something.
It's like a box with
intricate gears and clockwork and stuff, and they have no idea what it is, and they pulled it out of the sea in Greece.
You ever hear that, Brian?
I don't think I heard that.
No, I've heard of that.
Yeah, I don't know what to do, though.
There's a bunch of theories.
Let me try Greek device.
While you're looking it up, Q, let me talk to you about Green Chef.
Want to hear about it?
Yeah, I already found it, but I'm ready for Green Chef.
All right, Green Chef is the first USDA certified organic meal kit company.
Green Chef makes eating well easy and affordable with plans to fit every lifestyle.
What I like about it is the pre-measured ingredients.
You don't got to fucking measure shit out.
You don't have to get your tablespoons and your teaspoons and your cups and all that crap.
It's pre-measured, perfectly portioned, and mostly prepped, and you can spend less time stressing and more time enjoying delicious home-cooked meals.
Can I ask you a question about measuring?
Sure.
I wonder if there's a condition out there for people.
You know how there's like people, like, and this is not a joke, dyslexic, you know, how you can't read certain things, go backwards and everything?
Sure.
I think I may have some sort of condition where I can't measure properly.
There's no, like, I just can't do it.
You mean with like a ruler or something?
With a ruler, with any device, with any kind of measuring device, a cup.
I think I may have caught it from you.
Look at my walls over there.
The number of times I tried to put up a shelf, and I'm like, fuck.
Yeah, why can't, why do we have such a hard time measuring?
It's like a foreign language to me.
It really is.
Like, I measure, and it looks, I'm like, okay, this is right.
Yeah.
This is right.
And you're convinced you're right.
Yeah.
And then when it, and then when you look, step back, you're like, oh, my God.
Yeah.
And you're just like, oh, my daughter.
Green Chef makes eating well easy and affordable with plans to fit every lifestyle, whether you're keto, paleo, vegan, vegetarian, or just looking to eat healthier, cue, no tangerines on this diet.
There's a range of recipes to suit any diet or preference.
All three of us.
got stuff from Green Chef.
Walt, I'm sure you did not eat it, but passed it on, no doubt.
Yes, I passed it along to my mother-in-law, who is, you know, is making a big effort to lead a much more healthier lifestyle in this post-COVID world.
Got him, man.
Yeah, so
we don't allow her to eat fried foods no more.
Really?
So it's all green chef.
It's all green chef, huh?
That's all she got.
She's in her room.
Sliding under the door.
Something
maybe?
We don't want to expose her, you know, to any germs.
Yeah, you want COVID and you want to get sick from eating all kinds of shit.
I know a guy who ate so many tangerines.
So go to greenshef.com slash T-E-S-D-90 and use code T-E-S-D-90 to get $90 off, including free shipping.
Greenshef.com slash T-E-S-D-90,
N-I-N-E-T-Y, and use code T-E-S-D-9-0 for $90 off.
It's like a walk.
Including free shipping.
Oh, yeah.
But this is Green Chef, man, the number one kit for eating well.
This ain't no McDonald's shit.
I had, oh my God, I I had McDonald's for the first time in probably
two years the other day.
Two years?
Yeah, it's been a long time.
I know, I know why.
I know why I don't eat it.
I was so fucking sick that night.
It just sits in my stomach.
I like the fries.
The fries are good.
But once I get into like, once I diverge beyond the fries,
I like their little burger patties.
I could pop three patties because I don't eat the bread.
Right.
You know, and I like the way they taste still.
Yeah, this one.
I'm not anti-McDonald's.
Like, like you fucking, you know, everybody wants to fucking put a
effigy of it.
Go on Anita Bryant.
Because he just happens to, yeah.
Oh my God.
He sells food that's not healthy.
Of course, we knew this.
Why the fuck now are we so angry about it, though?
They never came out and said that this is good for you.
Decades, we've known it.
Decades.
But we treat McDonald's as if they're fucking war criminals.
Yeah,
it was funny, though.
Like, they used to allow smoking in it.
I remember up until the 90s, you could smoke in a McDonald's.
Oh, yeah.
I have a bunch of
in my kitchen.
You lost me?
Yeah.
You got me?
Yeah, I got you.
Okay.
I have in
my kitchen the Burger King.
Remember, Burger King had those gold foil ashtrays?
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
I bought a box of them on eBay for like $20
just because I was when I saw him, it was like a blast of childhood.
I was like, holy fuck.
I remember being a kid and my dad smoking into that into that ashtray in the Burger King.
Remember, we knew a guy who worked at Burger King, and he stole an entire box of patties, like a huge case of them.
Yeah, a case of 75 beef patties.
But then he didn't know what to do with them, so he threw them in the river.
I thought you were going to tell me you guys had a great barbecue with some shitliner.
I wish.
He didn't want to get caught with the goods.
Yeah, he panicked and fucked.
Later on, he was arrested for embezzling from his accounting job, though.
He was a wild guy, that guy.
Yeah.
So, wait, so the Greek machine, what were you going to say?
Oh, yeah.
Okay, so it's called.
Hold that other thought, though.
Yeah.
It's called the
anti-kythera mechanism.
It's an ancient Greek hand-powered ori described as the first analog.
Oh, so they know what it is.
Described as the first analog computer, the oldest known example of such a device used to predict astronomical positions and stuff.
It doesn't say in stuff.
I said that.
But like, that's what it, like, they pulled it out from the bottom of the ocean.
Wow.
It looks like
the back of one of those watches you can see through.
Yeah, it's got all these gears and stuff like that.
And then for years, I don't know if they definitely even know what it is, definitively know what it is now, but
for a long time they didn't.
It says here: the knowledge of this technology was lost at some point in antiquity.
Isn't that crazy?
Yeah, it's weird.
These communities or these civilizations just burn out.
They just go away and take all the knowledge with them.
It's crazy.
It was not Greek, obviously.
Well, I wasn't in Greek 19th.
No, I'm saying they have that civilization is still around.
Slab in fucking Greek.
With the Greek bath, you know, because they take it on the chin.
I'm Greek and I don't like it.
But, like, I hear about, you know, the jokes about Greek bathhouses.
Wait a second.
You have Greek blood in you?
Yeah.
I thought you were 100% Irish.
I did not know you had Greek black.
I'm Greek.
Is that why your mom was a fan of Jimmy the Greek?
I remember your mom being like Jimmy the Greek back in the day.
Not like romantically or anything.
I just remember her talking about him.
Nobody was a fan of Jimmy the Greek in the day.
After those comments, yeah.
That may have been the first example of cancel culture, Q
Jimmy the Greek?
Yeah.
Now that I think back.
That would have been mid-80s, right?
Very late 80s, yeah.
So if you're wondering who Jimmy the Greek is, which many of you probably are, Jimmy the Greek was a sports book guy, right?
Yeah, he was on every week on the NFL today
on CBS giving his picks on who was going to be playing in the football games because he was so he's actually Anthony Snyder's father, who was on Comic Bookman.
Oh, really?
Oh, I knew that.
No, I knew that.
You're right.
I knew that.
I think there's a gas leak at the Johnson.
Isn't your mom friends with Anthony?
She thinks my mom was a fan of Jimmy the Greek.
I just remember being at your house and her talking about Jimmy the Greek.
It may have been just limited to you being like, hey, Jimmy the Greek got in trouble.
And then we left the house and your mom was in the room.
But that's the first time I thought, when I think back, though, I wonder if that's the first example of cancel culture that I can recall.
Like, you know.
Well, he got got canceled because he was talking about black people being better athletes than white people, and the reason being is because they would be
the masters would breed slaves so that they got bigger, stronger people.
Which, like, in its essence, that's what eugenics is about, right?
I don't know.
I'm not commenting on that.
Yeah, I mean, America was big and slaves.
You know what?
It didn't work out for Jimmy the Greek in 1980, Brian.
No.
Maybe you shouldn't revisit it here in good old 2021.
Didn't work out for Hitler either.
Yeah, just let this one go, buddy.
Got to sacrifice it.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
What were you going to say earlier?
You said you had a thought.
I had a thought.
I don't know why it popped into my head.
I can't remember now, but it was
when you worked at Quickstop,
you have said several times that you used to just rob the register, right?
I'd rather talk about Jimmy the Greek.
Has that ever been confirmed?
Oh, I don't know.
I don't know if we
can cut it out then.
I see.
But we can cut it out then.
I was going to ask if you ever felt bad about it.
Okay.
Let's say you had taken stuff from
the state.
I wasn't a robber, as you mentioned earlier.
Yes, yes.
Right.
Now, as I recall, you said that you never stole from that place, but let's say you did.
Right.
do you think hypothetically you've ever thought about it and felt bad about it
i'm really glad you asked me this question because i've been watching a lot of like id channels things and they you know with like sociopathy and like psychopathy um yeah
and some of the things it like it worries me because i wouldn't feel guilty there are certain things i just don't feel guilty about and i don't know why because i know other people do feel guilty about this particular thing or that particular thing, you know?
But there's something like I was talking to Eric about it the other day where he's like trying to explain something.
Like he wasn't talking about me, but he's like trying to explain things to some of these people is like trying to tell a dog.
Like they'll just never understand.
They'll sit there and they'll look at you and you'll be like, okay, now.
Like, cause it came up from watching a courtroom where the, I was talking about the witness impact statements or the family impact statements where it's like, there's a murderer.
He's, he's killed your daughter he's up here in court you get to stand up and tell this guy like how you feel and it's like you know she meant a lot to us and you robbed us of this and that and it's it if you have a nor if you're a normal person that would affect you but this guy it's like it's like reading a fucking grocery list to him
it's like btk like btk i i in fact i watched that the other day like btk's questioning it was like a half hour long and i'm like this is a fucking stone cold motherfucker
where did you watch this uh it's on youtube wow i just just watched the documentary on the Watts murders from two years back.
Oh, Shanahan Watts.
Yeah, he killed his family as well.
Oh, my God.
Is that heartbreaking?
Dude, is there anything more heartbreaking than that story?
It's fucking crazy, man.
I couldn't believe it because the guy, I was watching the documentary and I was like, no way he fucking did it.
I was like, he's too dopey.
He's too nice.
Everybody was like, nah, he's a nice guy.
That guy's a great guy.
He wouldn't do it.
And then
he talks about smothering his daughters.
And you're like, what the
It's gut-wrenching.
It brought tears to my eyes is the footage of his father in the interrogation room and his father has no idea.
And
when the son tells his father, yeah, I killed the family.
And his reaction, you could just see like the
his body just changes because it's like the horror to hear that your son just did.
It is absolutely...
It shouldn't be shown on TV.
It really shouldn't be shown shown on tv this guy's this guy's grief this guy's having to hear his see be told on camera about what his son did to his his daughter-in-law and his grandchildren that should not be on tv because that guy didn't do anything he didn't do anything it's like look i'm an innocent bystander and all this yeah it felt it made me so sad to watch that and to see that see that grandfather have to hear that and like i was i was very upset that they would show that for a documentary because really all it is at the end of the day is fucking money for the people who made that documentary.
Right.
Well those are the moments man.
Those are the moments you want in that you could tell the story about what happened man but you how do you show that fucking dude having to like
it was
a really hard moment to watch it was notably yeah oh
I just I just read did you did you watch any of the
Nightstalker?
Not yet.
No, no.
That's coming up soon though.
I don't assume you watched it Walt.
I don't have Netflix.
Oh, you don't have Netflix?
No.
So I watched the Night Stalker documentary, and one of the things they said before it was
that people were complaining.
They said that it's too grisly.
They went too far in this documentary.
They showed photos and stuff.
Showed some photos, showed a lot of blood and stuff.
But as I'm watching it, I'm like, I couldn't disagree more.
I've seen documentaries, like, and I'm talking ID channel shows where, I mean, you've seen them like huge pools of blood everywhere, you know?
But do you think you may be desensitized?
Oh, I'm totally desensitized.
Yeah, so you may not be a good barometer of what's showing too much.
Well, I'm not saying, like, oh, this shouldn't bother anybody, but I am saying, like, the weight between this documentary versus others that I've seen, I didn't understand because others are just as bloody or violent as this one was.
So, I don't know.
But if they're showing real crime photos,
that's different than showing a
representation or a recreation on ID channel.
No, they show real stuff on ID Channel, too.
Very rarely, though.
Usually, it's.
It always says in the corner like police or, you know, or actual video or something.
You know what, though?
I'm torn on that too.
I'm like, I used to watch a lot of ID channel.
I don't watch it much anymore, but I'm like, this is really
exploitive, man.
Oh, totally.
Yeah, and I'm like, this is fucked up.
And, you know, that you're bringing on the victims of people who've lost loved ones to have them bare their soul on camera for fucking readings.
Yeah.
It is really fucked up.
It's crazy.
Well, murder porn.
That's what they they call it.
Yeah.
Yeah.
I don't know.
I like a nice family tragedy.
Oh my god, it was the worst thing ever.
Yeah, that's the one where you put the children in the oil tanker, right?
He, he, yeah,
his wife was pregnant.
They already named it.
They knew it was a boy.
He killed the wife.
and buried her in a shallow grave in the field.
And then one by one, he would like take one daughter, walk her somewhere, smother her, went back to get the other one.
The whole time, the daughter's like, Daddy, what's going on?
Is mom okay?
Is the other daughter okay?
And then he smothered her, put him in oil tanks, and then he just went to work.
Then he went to fucking work.
Didn't he work like in the oil industry?
Yeah, that was like kind of by his job, right?
It was by his job, and he just spent the day at work until he felt it was long enough that he could say, Hey, man, I haven't heard from my wife.
What's going on?
Now, did he do it for
pussy?
Oh, there's nothing you won't do for pussy.
The fucking devil's apple is really a peach or a fucking, or what's that thing that we used to?
What was that thing that we had?
Oh, the fig.
The fig, yeah.
Like a bite of fig.
I mean, it's the, it's the oldest reason in the book to kill, right, Q?
Pussy?
I would think money and pussy were the two biggest things, yeah.
But I would think before money, there was not always money on this planet, but there was always pussy.
Oh, yeah, that's true.
And you very rarely hear it.
That's one way to put it, Walter.
You very rarely hear the story of like she killed for cock.
There are a few out there.
There are a few, but very, very, very few cases where
that cock was so great it was worth killing for.
Yeah, I don't think I've met anybody that would kill for my cock.
They're not out there.
You're telling me Mary Beth wouldn't kill for it?
I don't think so.
I think she likes her relatively free existence.
This is enough of a jail as it is.
I was looking around.
You know what?
We're recording in Bryce's kitchen.
I'm getting you two, not one.
I'm getting you two of those cliched fucking live, love, and laugh posters.
Please do.
Because this is crazy how bare the walls are.
I took all my posters down.
One day I was, I blamed Mary Beth the other day.
I was like, because, you know, we're talking about moving and I was like, let's just box up some of this shit, you know, before we go so it's not a huge fucking thing on the day we move.
And then I blamed her, like, not too long ago, like, less than a week.
I was like, well, you know what?
I can't stand these walls.
Why did you have me take all these posters down?
She's like, it was your idea.
You don't think that it does look fucked up.
Wait, but Q
does that just not seem like a normal thing to do?
Like, we have no firm date when we're moving, but let's box up everything so we're ready to move when we do.
It's not like our clothes are boxed up.
That is not normal behavior.
It struck me as unusually proactive.
That's what I'm trying to be, 2021, man.
Get a good start.
No, this is just shit that, like, it's not the biggest house.
And she has a lot of stuff, man.
She's like almost gidden-level.
Like, I got to keep this shit.
Oh, no.
She's a hoarder?
I just went downstairs to get headphones, and there's fucking all kinds of cardboard boxes down there from Chewy that I guess she's like, ooh, I can use this later.
That's the telltale sign when you're saving the cardboard box.
Why are you saying, throw away that packaging?
It's perfectly good.
I got holding on to the packaging.
We got shit from Amazon.
I'm like, this is the most wasteful.
Like, this is just us.
And they'll multiply this by millions of people every day.
Yeah, they put it in a box that's like 15 times the size of the item.
Dude, you're getting a pin and it comes in a refrigerator box.
It's like, what the fuck, man?
Q, we were, I texted Q last night, and we very briefly discussed before we decided it would be a better topic for
Tell him Steve Dave.
The day before the wedding.
Yeah.
Or the night before the wedding.
Your wedding.
Night before my wedding.
You know, we had the little party, we had the rehearsal dinner, and everybody sort of went their separate way.
Pam and Edgar stayed and talked to Mary Beth's parents.
So I said to Q, what if Edgar goes upstairs, right?
And Pam stays and talks to Mary Beth's parents.
And when Pam goes back upstairs to turn in for the night, Edgar has succumbed to autoerotic asphyxiation.
She is obligated to not to tell you until the wedding's over.
Let him hang there?
Yeah.
Just say he had an emergency, had to go home.
What emergency was it?
He just had to go home.
He's not feeling well.
He can't come down.
He's just vomiting like crazy.
He just can't come down for the wedding.
Pam is like, the thing about Pam is like, she's...
If not a pathological liar,
she's borderline pathologically.
She's horrible at it.
She's been practicing for God knows what.
I mean, you start talking when you're three.
I mean, she's been doing it for 70 years, and she's just not good at it.
You seem to have a fucking magnet, though, for
pathological liars.
Yeah, because she's one, wasn't she?
Yeah.
So, I mean,
you've lived
more than
fuck, man, almost your whole life, like dealing with pathological liars.
Pretty much people who I'm like, is that true?
So when you come into contact with people, are you constantly like, are they lying to me?
If I don't know them, I don't believe them at first.
Like, if they're set, like, unless, like, if I go to a store and they're like, this costs this much, I'm not like, well, all right, we'll see about that.
But if I meet somebody and they're like, here, this is who I am, like, even with Mary Beth, it's like, I'm like, I don't know you, I don't trust you.
It took a long time, right?
But, like, so let's say,
let's say QRI, like, how long did it take for you?
Like, you know what?
I don't think they're lying to me.
Well, neither of you, I think.
I mean, I met you when I was really young, so I couldn't even recall in fifth grade if I'm like, look at that last second shit over there.
But Q and I, like, instantly, I think, pretty much clicked.
Yeah,
we clicked fast, and we had so much time to hang out with each other.
You guys have the same, very same kind of like
worldview.
Yeah.
You guys, a lot of things, the way you talk, the way things you talk about, like line up.
If you were a chick, you know,
he would, if either one of you was a female, you would have been the perfect match for each other, it feels like.
He'd He'd be prego right now.
Wait a second.
It was a compliment, dude.
Need your orange, honey.
You're pregnant.
Why can't he get pregnant?
Yeah, no,
it was a very fast bonding, and we had a lot of time to do it.
It was a lot of fun.
Similar worldview.
Yeah, and
it was at a time where we could not only hang out at the store and talk, but then it's like, okay, we need you to go cross-country to do this shit.
So you get to hang out.
And
yeah, I mean,
you know what?
If I were to be 100% honest, and I might take a lump or two for this, it's really women I don't trust.
You know what, though?
But how could you be taking any lumps for that?
Your mother, the woman who raised you, was a pathological liar.
And then you come into a long-term relationship with another long
pathological liar.
How are you not to just be prone to feel that way?
Like, how could you be conditioned not to?
You're a victim.
Oh, fuck.
Thank you.
Synchronized.
But it's true, though.
Like,
if you were a chick and your father was a pathological liar and you had a long-term boyfriend who was a pathological liar, I don't think people would be expecting you not to distrust men.
That's true.
Yeah.
People would be like, she is a victim for sure.
She's been a victim of all these fucking shitty guys, her shitty father and her shitty boyfriend and then her shitty husband.
But if I were to say that, yeah, it's just like, oh, you're a fucking misogynist.
I don't, I think there would be some, but I think if people knew your case history, right?
You know, you know, packing up fucking
with no firm date and site to move.
Where are we going?
These are the actions of a guy who has probably not led to like a very normal existence.
It's a crooked mind and a crooked
You know who isn't crooked?
Oh, who's that?
Oh, that's Care of, baby.
What's this?
No,
you know this.
You have to purchase 20 bottles of shampoo from them.
Care of is a wellness brand that makes it easy to maintain your health goals with a customized vitamin plan that helps you feel your best today and supports you long-term.
Oh, I'm sorry.
This is not that one.
This is not the shampoo guys.
These are the vitamin people.
Oh, okay.
This is ones I gave to get them.
That's what I helped.
Who helped get them?
And he's got this weird hair thing going on now.
It looks like a reverse mohawk going on at times.
This could be.
What's a reverse mohawk?
It's like he's.
There's no hair down the middle.
I saw it in the last Sunday Jeff show, and I'm like, hmm, that's a weird, that's a weird hairline.
I'd sooner attribute it to his barber than his vitamins.
Well, his barber is himself.
Oh, okay.
Now
that explains it.
This makes sense.
All right.
Care of has been vindicated.
They're super transparent about the research and sourcing behind each one of their products.
It's a quick five-minute online quiz to ask you questions about your diet, lifestyle, and health concerns to help address your specific wellness goals.
You can readjust or you can adjust your packet any time.
What you receive is totally up to you of your vitamins.
I still use these vitamins.
I ordered more.
I like them.
And you don't have to make any big resolution.
And again, they're pre-packaged, just like the Green Chef stuff.
It's like you don't have to count them out.
You don't have to go through bottles and shit.
It's like, boom, here it is in this little package.
My grandfather was a big proponent of vitamins.
And he lived a long, strong existence.
Yeah.
Yeah.
He was like in his 80s.
He looked like he was in his 60s or if not 50s.
Right.
He was
a healthy dude.
And he was a fucking regiment vitamin dude, like, you know,
like a crazy proponent of vitamins.
Right.
Advocate.
He took so many vitamins.
It was like horse pills, like, you know, it was big ones.
Right.
That's what I used to tell Sage.
This is how data gets healthy.
For 50% off your first care of order, go to take care of and enter code TESD50.
That's takecareof.com and enter code T-E-S-D-50 for 50% off your first order.
All right.
You know, must be taking vitamins, Q, and it's probably care of.
Oh, Tom Brady?
He's unreal.
It's unbelievable.
All right.
He's off to his 10th Super Bowl.
And when I say it out loud, it almost makes me giggle because I'm like, it's so fucking insane.
You know how mad people are, too.
It's absolutely insane.
I was terrified when he went and left the Patriots and was like, I'm going to continue my career because I was like, oh, my God.
I know it's going to happen.
It's going to have a real shitty season with this new team, a real team that has had no real history.
And it's going to really tarnish that legacy.
And oh, my God, how wrong could I have been?
I mean, if anything, he's just added to his legacy by
doing it again with a fucking organization that
would not even be even talked about during the season.
They wouldn't even get on TV, national TV, because they were so bad.
What's the name of the team?
The Tampa Bay Buccaneers.
Buccaneers.
Yeah,
they were
not a terrible team the year before, but certainly they were not predicted to go to a Super Bowl if Tom Brady didn't come there.
I don't know how.
I don't know.
I don't know.
I mean, it's the only thing when people talk about the reptilian race,
it's ridiculous until they say
point in question, or you know, example A, it could be Tom Brady.
He's not a human being.
It's pretty crazy, man.
It's nuts.
Do you think, like,
is this a big fuck you?
Oh, yeah.
It's a big fuck you to Belishak and to the organization and everything.
I saw a stat that just, this stat is just crazy.
That's what I'm talking about.
I'll see stats online, like on my iPad, and I'm just giggling out loud because it's so fucked up.
It's beyond comprehension.
I don't know if you got, you know, Steph Curry.
Yeah.
Probably the greatest three-point shooter in the history of the NBA.
Okay.
It's more likely that Tom Brady will go to a Super Bowl than it is that Steph of Curry will make a three-point shot because he's gone to a Super Bowl in 10 out of the 20 years he's been a regular starter.
Wow.
So 50% of the time he goes to the Super Bowl, 45% of the time, Steph Curry makes a three-pointer.
Wow, that is a fucking crazy statistic.
Yeah, that is.
I mean, it just puts things in perspective.
It's like, this is unheard of.
This is not human.
This is video game shit.
Yeah,
video games where a person on the opposing team is awesome, and this is your first time playing.
Yeah, this is like Bo Jackson on fucking Tech Mobile.
You know, it's like he can't be stopped.
Although, I don't think he's going to win the Super Bowl, though.
But I don't think it matters, though.
Well, who's in the Super Bowl?
Kansas City Chiefs.
There's the real guy right now who's the greatest of the players.
Is that Aaron Rodgers?
No, it's Patrick Mahomes.
Patrick Mahomes.
Oh, that's the guy that you said would be be a good one.
Yeah, I think, yeah, like if he doesn't get hurt, and if his organization could keep all their players,
so this is going to be
an exciting Super Bowl, then.
This is going to be a big one.
It could be.
You know, it could be.
It also could be, it could go get out of hand.
I mean, I don't know what's going to happen, but it really doesn't matter, though, because to get there 10 out of 20 years,
there's nothing now that he doesn't have to prove anything to anybody ever again.
I don't know.
If he wins it, I don't even know how you play again.
Do you think it's diminishing returns?
Like, I know the first time I went to SeaWorld, I loved it.
I was like, this is the best place on earth.
Second time, not as much.
Third time, I was like, why are we even here?
I don't know if you can equate
going to a theme park that smells like fish to winning going to a Super Bowl.
But I have gone to SeaWorld 50% of the time.
So I've gone to Orlando.
I bet you going to the Super Bowl loses its
magic.
You got to win it.
I think you got to win it.
I think you never lose the winning of it, but I do think maybe when you go, you're like, all right, your nerves are dulled a little bit.
You're like, I got this.
We've been here before.
This isn't my first rodeo.
But I don't think you ever get over winning.
That's crazy.
I think the only way that the Buccaneers can win this game is if their defense plays out of their mind, though, because
that Chiefs' offense is just unstoppable.
There is just no stopping them.
So
that's what I'm saying.
If the Tampa Bay Buccaneers win, if Tom Brady gets the seventh Super Bowl, it probably is going to be a large part to the defense,
which I don't know if they can do it.
I just don't really see it stopping that Chiefs' offense.
Is there a spread yet?
I'm not sure.
I'm not really a better, so I don't really take notice of the spreads.
I'm sure there is immediately, though.
Right.
I tell you, I've been winning left and right this season in the firehouse pool.
Oh, yeah?
I love it.
Oh, I fucking love it because it annoys them so much.
Oh, it bothers them so much when I win.
It's the best.
Do you make educated guesses, or are you just going on willy-nilly?
Willy-nilly, baby.
I blow in there, and we pick boxes, and we do it like Super Bowl box time.
Oh, okay.
And
for whatever reason, I win every year.
Now, it may not be because you're winning.
It may just be because, like, you're fucking not only winning and taking their money, but you're also on fucking TV and hugely successful.
That would create some resentment.
That's 100% what it is.
I'm sorry I didn't make that clear.
It's the best.
They're the only people in the world because they're my brothers.
I love them so much that I could walk in there with a shit like fucking eating grit on my face and be like, yo, give me my 250 bucks, bitch.
It's the best.
So, how do you know when you're watching on Sundays?
Rich get richer.
What?
When you're watching on Sundays, how do you know if you won, or do you have to be informed that you won?
I don't even watch.
I just get an annoyed text from Rizzo, and he says, the rich get richer, you won again.
I fucking love it.
Some guys, some guys, like guys that aren't in the pool, they love it.
They love it when they win, too.
It's funny.
Now, how much can you expect to win from something like that?
Just a week to week.
I think, you know, it's like $1,000 here, $1,000 there type of thing.
Tax-free, right?
Well, no, no, no.
I report that.
It's like Brian at the fucking quick stop.
I like how he asks me.
I like how he asks us as if I have a mask on.
I'm a bandit or something.
Like, I'm robbing the store.
No, we don't even play for money.
We play for boxes of ZD.
We don't even.
There's no money anymore.
I think with the Super Bowl pools you can you can get pretty high
up.
But I think the week to week is just, you know.
It says here the Vegas line is Chiefs minus three.
So the Chiefs are favored.
So the Chiefs are favored by three.
Yeah.
Okay.
That's not that much, right?
No, that line may move
before the game in two weeks.
I expect it probably will.
Tampa Bay is the first team to play a Super Bowl in their home stadium, so that, I guess, kind of helps.
But it's kind of negated because, I mean, Patrick Mahomes is like a, is a, I think it's like Michael Jordan,
LeBron James, Tom Brady, and I believe Patrick Mahomes will be in that conversation when he's, when he's retired from playing football, I believe he's that fucking amazing.
I guess Kobe could be in that conversation too, but I don't know.
I'm not that big a basketball player or a watcher, I should say.
Q, are you a Target shopper?
I have on occasion hit definitely when I'm on tour.
Then you will be glad to hear they will no longer be selling coconut milk made by the Thai company Chowako, it looks like, after investigation that the drink is allegedly tied to forced monkey labor.
Monkey labor.
Have you ever heard of such a thing?
I don't know how you could force a monkey to do anything it doesn't want to do.
Evidently, man,
they got it down.
You want to bite your fucking face off if you try to make it do something it doesn't want to do?
I guess these are just like those little monkeys, and what they do is they put chains around their neck.
Here's one right here.
And they send them up in the trees to get the coconuts.
But they have like, you know, like I said, they have the chains around their neck.
And then once they're done for the day, they...
They keep them tethered, chained to old tires, or confined to cages barely larger than their bodies.
Oh, my God.
Good for target.
Yeah.
I agree.
I mean, do you know, there was Walmart said the same thing.
They're not going to use sweatshop labor soon, but it's like, it takes years, I guess, to not like to transition.
The same as the government.
The government's like, all right, we're going to change this law.
It'll be ready to go in 2025.
Isn't it funny, though, that like
a story about a sweatshop doesn't get your attention, but a story about forced monkey labor.
Oh, yeah.
Yeah.
The Walmart one, I was like, all right, cool.
I'm like, forced monkey labor?
Maybe I could get some of that around here.
Tell them, Steve.
Sure, why not?
I don't have another ad.
Have it been going long enough?
Yeah.
Yeah, okay.
All right.
Until next time.
Till next time.
Till next time.
Dave.