#465: Wookiee Style

They they definitely like to get their freak on.

Why not, man?

Good for them, man.

Fucking wild animals.

I don't really need to see a black cock.

Blackcock.

Black cock, cock, cock, cock.

No pain, no gain.

Tell him, Steve, Dave.

Hello, and welcome to this week's edition of Tell him, Steve, Dave.

Oh, my God, I'm here on

Zoom, via Zoom, with Q and Waltz.

How you doing, boys?

Zoom, Zoom.

Did you watch that show when you were a kid?

What?

Zoom.

It doesn't sound familiar.

Who was in it?

I don't know.

Wasn't Morgan Freeman in it?

Walt?

Do you remember that?

That's Electric Company.

That was Electric Company?

Maybe Zoom.

I don't like followed.

Yeah.

Electric Company.

Maybe Zoom had no one.

It was like a kid show.

And

basically the whole lyrics were like, we're going to zoom, zoom, zoom, zoom.

We're going to zoom a zoom, zoom, zoom.

I'm not familiar with it.

I weighed myself today, boys.

Oh, I weighed myself too.

I was not happy.

I am currently the fattest I've ever been in my entire life.

I

can't even move without...

Feeling like I'm in some sort of like a different body.

It's so fucking weird, man.

Like, like moving my arms, it's like I feel things like pulling down here.

None of my clothes fit right.

Like, I sit down on the couch and like my stomach just fucking spreads out.

It's it's not good.

It seems common, though.

They're calling it the COVID-50.

People are putting on 50 pounds.

Yeah, that checks out.

My friend put on 70.

Wow.

Yeah.

You put on anything, Walt.

You don't look like you did.

I don't weigh myself.

I don't think I have weighed myself since the 90s.

Since you went to the last doctor's visit.

Yeah.

I was thinking about that because

with the COVID serum that's out, and you know, it's going to be

probably much sooner than later that like

the vaccine will be available and I'll have to make the choice.

Like I haven't had, I haven't had medicine since the 90s.

Right.

Whenever you got that tendon done, that would have been the last time, right?

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah.

When I got, when I, when I had my knee surgery.

But

would I be, should I be

not nervous about putting medicine into my body after all these years?

Like how a vegetarian will go vegetarian for years and they eat meat and they start puking all over the place.

You could have a worse reaction than that nurse.

Yeah,

I'm not sure.

Like, am I out of line by thinking like, well,

this is really difficult.

Like,

I'm not sure.

Like, I haven't had medicine

since 1998.

I mean, no medicine whatsoever.

You sound like a born-again Christian.

Yeah.

Sorry, girls.

Do I have any reasons to be concerned, though?

I don't think so.

I mean, I don't think that people build up a tolerance to medicine in general.

It's like specific medicines, I guess.

Like, that's why, like, you take too many antibiotics, they don't work as well as they once did.

But I'm on a street, though, man.

It's a fucking Iron Man streak going here.

Like, now all of a sudden, like, I'm told I have to, not, no one said you have to, not yet, take it, but that could be coming down the pike where I got a very difficult decision to make.

Well, well, what do you, what do you think you'll do?

I don't know.

I was hoping that you guys could help me.

Like, what would you do if you had this streak going?

I would take the vaccine.

It's that simple.

But even though you haven't had a need for medicine since 1998?

Yeah, well, that's the key point.

You haven't had a need.

Like, now you have a need.

What happens when you, you know, as you get older and maybe some health things pop up here and there?

Get them.

I know eventually you're going to have to.

This streak can't go forever.

You're right.

That like this streak has to end at some point.

I guess a pandemic is a pretty good reason to end the streak, right?

If it's not, I don't know what is.

Plus, technically, isn't the vaccine like a dead version of the virus?

It was a very weakened version of it, I think.

So, really, you're not really getting medication, I guess.

If you want to look at it from a certain point of view, you could Star Wars this shit and fucking come up with it.

Like, you're really getting injected with the virus, not with medicine.

Yeah, but I haven't injected anything foreign into my body

in decades, though.

So, now

it's a little

concerning to me.

I guess it shouldn't be, and I don't want anybody getting upset and everything.

I get it.

But I'm like, it's still, it's like,

I'm very allergic to things, too.

I'm highly allergic to things.

And I hear, you know, that there could be allergic reaction.

I have a very sensitive

system.

Like, if I change detergent, I could die.

That's what a doctor told me once.

Really?

Oh, now you're being serious.

Now, was this a doctor in an office or was this a doctor on a street corner?

He said, if you were to change your detergent and never go back and you're getting this kind of reaction, you can get infected and you can like all these, like I was breaking out with these burns all over my body, and it was an allergic reaction to my wife changing detergents

early on when we first got married.

So, like, we had to go back to like,

you know, Clorox, watered down Clorox, like, not even pure Clorox.

So you're just bleaching everything

Right away, she's like, oh my God, I got to switch detergents for this soft motherfucker.

My man.

Sometimes I get concerned about you, though, Walt.

While I respect and appreciate your Iron Man streak, it does concern me that you're of the age where you should have a finger up your butt.

Because God forbid.

God forbid.

It's an ugly, ugly disease.

I'll die straight, though, though, at least on that back back up there, like I'm my team's friend.

He never had it.

He had never had anything in his fucking, in his ass.

Is that why the last time I went to the urologist, he's like, congratulations, you're now gay.

Yeah.

Yeah.

When I got checked, suddenly I had a hankering for some Johnny cakes.

So maybe this is it, though.

Maybe the vaccine is what gets you back on sort of the medical role.

You go, you got a checkup.

You You know, you get a physical.

They're like, here, you look all good.

You seem all good.

And I know what you're, I know what you're, like, you treat your body, though, the same way you treated your car.

I remember, like, when the light came on in your car, you would just like put something in front of it so you couldn't see the like check engine light.

You would say it sounds crazy, except it's working for them.

I know.

That's the thing.

I'm so terrified, though, that I'm going to go and they're going to be like, oh, my God, you got this wrong.

You got to do this.

You got to take this.

You got to do this.

You got to do this.

And I'd be like, and then

it's just a downhill off from there, though.

I think my mind is more powerful than medicine.

Than modern medicine.

Yeah.

On the flip.

Not everybody.

This doesn't work for everybody, though.

I wouldn't tell this to my kids or anything.

If they were like, if they needed medicine, obviously.

Right.

Get the medicine.

Yeah.

But I mean,

are you concerned about like the virus, like getting the, getting it, right?

The

vaccine, and then it comes out the news that it's like, it's killing people or that they fucked up, like something's wrong, it's mutating humans.

I would be lying if I didn't say there was a little bit of concern of like, that it's going to have an adverse effect on a certain segment of the population.

I can't believe that, like, if everybody's being honest, that no one thinks that, though, that there could be,

you know, it was fucking lightning speed.

It's out.

Well, as soon as the nurse passed out after taking it, I think a lot of people are like, oh, shit.

But then

the CDC jumps in.

They're like, no, no, no, no, no.

Like 3% of women and 2% of the women.

She's a pussy.

Yeah, yeah, basically.

Yeah, basically.

Because she takes, then she's like,

I mean, there are a certain segment of people that were like, holy shit, they just killed her.

Oh,

God.

God.

I got a text from my friend,

and

it was made to look like a headline.

And his text said,

should have seen this coming.

And then it was a link to what looked like an article that said,

first,

that nurse is in a coma after getting the thing.

And I was like, ah, fuck.

And I clicked on it.

And as I was clicking on it, I...

It clicked in my head what was about to happen, but I clicked it because I realized a second too late.

And then just a giant black cock came up on my screen.

That guy that's sitting on the bed, yeah, that guy.

I was like, he got me, he got me, fucking bastard got me.

I'm not sure what happened here.

You've never seen it.

You think you're clicking on a link to an article.

It's made up to look like you're going to a news article, but instead it's to a picture of a big black dude with his dong hanging down to his knees.

So you got tricks.

Who sent you that?

Oh, so far, only two of my friends.

So, you know, I'm sure more are coming.

So, Walt, this is the family-friendly version of it.

You know,

can you see that?

All I can see is Q actually on the screen.

Oh, you can't see me?

I don't have.

And now you're not even popping up.

Last time, you popped up intermittently.

Like, I didn't know how it was working.

I was kind of amazed by the technology.

It was like, when you spoke, you were on the screen.

Then when Q spoke, you popped off the screen.

It was almost like the computer knew who to focus on.

So to my point of view, well

if you go to the upper right-hand corner, there's a thing that says view, you should be able to turn that on.

Like bring your mouse up.

I don't really need to see a black cock.

No,

I used the family-friendly version.

It was censored.

Oh.

I'll send it to you later.

Yeah, I don't want to touch

the Gatum laptop here and fuck everything up.

Everything seems to be going okay.

All right.

Nothing.

My question is: like, how would I even know that somebody's like, hey, you can have the vaccine now?

Like, do I have to research it and look it up?

Or how do you even know when you can get it?

You go to your regular doctor?

Are there COVID stations?

I think it's going to be like a CVS Walgreens type thing, right?

They're just going to let you know when it's available.

Yeah, kind of like the regular flu shot.

I think so.

That's what I've been hearing.

And no kidney side, and no, like this is not like a joke or anything, but QU, like, True TV isn't like

isn't like trying to secure dosages for

you know for the because they have a fucking vested interest in getting everybody back on and and making episodes so they're not they're not trying to like uh like the nfl does for their players like they they they're getting

making sure that they get their vaccines and everything no not at all i mean we we're in the middle of uh negotiations for more more seasons of jokers so maybe they're waiting to see if we sign before they they decide to help save our lives i don't know but no that hasn't been brought up at all wow okay so you're on your own basically you're saying

it's like escape from new york over here man i'm just fucking it's a free-for-all wow

call me snake i did wonder walt um like everybody has their number to do something right and if i came to you and i'm like look

i have extremely good information we can hijack a truck full of coveted vaccines and resell them on the the black market.

Like, what's your number for that?

I'm like, it's going to go smooth, it's perfect, it's beautiful.

There is not a chance on the planet

you could ever get away with hijacking a fucking tractor trailer full of COVID vaccines, sell it on the black market.

And who's fucking going to take that fucking black market fucking vaccine?

First off, I don't know.

People go to like Mexico for plastic surgery and shit.

They use different Botox and shit that's not really approved by the FDA.

I think the fallout, not only have you committed

a horrific crime, but you stole fucking vaccine.

I know.

That's why I'm wondering.

You are going to be.

The number's going to be high.

I know.

You're like a Haitian warlord.

Yeah.

Jesus.

That'd be something though.

I don't think you can make enough money, right, to make that valuable.

You can't make enough money to, like, let's say you did steal a truck.

The number for Walt, for Walt to do it, you know, it had to be somewhere like in the millions.

And you're not going to get millions for that one truck full of vaccines.

It's just not worth it.

That's true.

Did you hear somebody told me that within the vaccine bottle, there are five to seven doses, but I guess people didn't, like, the hospitals didn't know that.

So they're just drawing out the one dose and then throwing the rest away.

Oh, my God.

Because it was miscommunication between Pfizer and the hospitals or something.

Can you imagine that shit?

Oh my God.

But they caught it.

They got it.

They nipped that.

Eventually.

Isn't it beyond belief that there's miscommunications with something like on this level?

When you get to that level, there's nothing more important in the world right now.

Nothing.

That's all people are talking about is the COVID vaccination.

And like, oh shit, we didn't tell you that.

Oh.

All right, our bed.

I don't know.

You freeze up.

You would think that, like, they would put it on the label where it's just, like, five doses or something like that, but

I don't know.

What the fuck do we do?

What do we know?

All I know is I'm fucking getting so fucking fat and wide that I almost don't want to take the vaccine.

I hope to get sick and drop some pounds.

Yeah,

that's when I dropped most of my weight when I got sick last January.

I got nice and trim, you know, after.

Yeah, I got to do that.

I got to come up with it.

Maybe I should start going out without like carefree.

Maybe I'll take some flights and stuff.

I saw people online commending you for your use of the mask when we're recording Telme Steve Dave.

You know, there was some video or pictures or something.

And they shoot on you.

Yeah, they didn't say anything to me and Walt.

They didn't give us any kudos.

Though I did remind them that Walt and I have had as much COVID as you have had since the mask wearing.

It is true.

You have.

I mean, you can't really argue with that, but

I mean, I guess it's that thing of just like what they say, it's like, well, it's only like a 1.7% chance that you're going to get it or some shit like that.

Yeah.

Like really low.

Yeah.

But if you wear the mask, like that lowers it even more.

So it's like, why wouldn't I, I guess?

I read that the mask, they said it's like, I guess the N95s or whatever, it's like 65% effective.

And I was like, wow, that's a pretty big

variation, you know, like 35%.

Yeah, I guess it's just a matter of like just like if you do the mask, if you do the social distancing, if you don't go to work, if you sort of just stay away from people, like all these little chunks of odds work in your favor, they add up, man.

You know, but have you kept up with washing your hands as much as you did back when this first started?

You have?

Yeah, you know, I have to be honest, you know, like I, like, I was

washing the hands more than I ever have in my life, but, you know,

over time, though, I find myself not nearly nearly remembering to wash my hands as often as I did in the very beginning.

Well, you were home in the beginning, and it's much easier, you know.

Like, when you're at work, you're going to like every two seconds, you're going to run back and wash your hands.

The

alcohol, the gel, whatever,

the hand sanitizer is much easier, you know, it's just easier.

Yeah, it's odd too, because like at home, you probably don't have to wipe your hands, like clean your hands as much.

Like, if I get like a delivery of something, then I'll do it.

But,

yeah, while working on the front lines, handling money and stuff, you would think that you would do it more.

Although, I guess the, like Bryce says, the gel, right?

You guys load up on that?

Yeah, yeah.

I could put a hand sanitizer on, but actually going into a bathroom and washing my hands, when this first started, you know, I was doing it

just like, you know, I was doing it very, very often.

But then as time went on, I'm like, oh, man, you know what?

I'm not washing my hands as much as I used to.

I don't know why, other than I guess I just forgot.

When you're in the bathroom?

No, I'm talking about over the course.

I mean, there was TV, I mean, there were networks that were showing like spots, like every other spot was don't forget to wash your hands.

And how to.

And then they stopped showing those spots.

And guess what?

I forgot to wash my hands as often as I was in the beginning because, you know, I was being hammered with it initially.

Yeah.

And a lot of that has stopped now about the washing of the hands.

Yet you still, again, have as much COVID now as you did when you were washing your hands like a maniac.

So you gotta wonder.

Speaking of medical shit, I think it's highly likely I'm gonna have to go get this operation for

my shoulder.

Oh, no.

You know when like you take a nine-volt battery and you touch it on your tongue and it gives you that like

that's the way my left arm feels all the time.

Oh, it's a pinched nerve or something?

Yeah, it's like it's crushing down on a nerve because like the, he showed me an x-ray, like the cushion between the two, I guess, vertebrae is uh is getting smashed in and like you look at the other ones and they're nice and fluffy looking good and but there's this one that's like

you know mashed down so what they do is i think they go in and they open it up they put like these metal plates in to spread the the neck apart a little bit like the spine and yeah it's pretty gross and then they put them i don't know what the hell they put in there to relieve the pressure maybe they just leave the crushed one in and it regain regains its shape i don't know that much i'd have to ask eric but uh yeah, it's looking like

neck or why Eric's doing the operation?

No, that would be awesome, though.

I was going to say, they wouldn't allow that, would they?

I don't think so.

He's a shrink anyway.

He's like, well, I can tell you why he hates himself, but I can't tell you how to fix his neck.

Is there any concern about getting pain medication and fucking falling back under the thumb of the demon?

Not really, because I've had, since I went off it totally, I've had kidney stones twice and they gave me Percocet twice.

And I took it as directed, and I didn't go seeking out or anything.

So I feel like I'm pretty good with that now.

It was such a horrific time that there's just no way I'd ever want to revisit it.

And I don't think I have that in me anymore.

Like, take a couple, and I'm like, holy shit, that's right.

This.

Right.

Well, plus, at the time, it seemed more to me, it was more about escape than anything else.

Yeah, escape and like just

I've been watching these shows where you know, like these ID channel shows, and I watched a lady, she fell, she hurt her back.

Now, this is like a lady who was like a pharmaceutical representative, had a great career, all this other shit.

Her descent into eventually like murdering her husband

because she's taken all these pills and shit, and it's like, this is just a regular lady.

You know, so it could happen to just about anyone.

And that's at the time when I was taking them.

I think I've said before, it's like, I was like, I'm not going to get addicted to it.

I've never been addicted to anything.

That was it, though.

That was the one.

It was my

cockiness that got to me.

You know?

Auctionary.

I thought I was stronger than medicine.

Like, well, but I was wrong.

I was dead wrong.

Did you?

You guys make out with the snow.

Oh, boy.

I had to go shovel some.

Like, the small amount that I shoveled, I'm like, I don't, I don't, I don't ever want to do this again.

I don't care how little I have to,

like, how much I have to pay someone to shovel so little snow, I'm never doing it again.

Because it was, it was powdery, and then it got like a little bit of rain, and then it got cold again.

So it's these big sheets.

You can't just shovel it like regular snow.

You pick it up, and it's like a huge fucking four by four sheet of ice on the end of the goddamn snow shovel.

You didn't shovel, right?

I can't see you out there.

Oh, I was out there shoveling.

Really?

I mean, my back is killing me.

Yeah.

Oh, shit.

What's the

six-pack muscles?

I'm going to have a six-pack.

Yeah, the abs were like, the abs are burning from

shoveling yesterday.

You're like, no pain, no gain.

And

one thing I observed today was I had to take a walk through Redbank.

a pretty far walk

and I came to the realization and I was just like, holy shit I am I was cognizant

of where I was stepping and what I was like you know was that too slippery where in the past man

I never would have gave a fuck about ice man I would have stepped on that ice like a fucking cat yeah there was there was no concern that I was ever gonna slip and fall because there was like my my balance was like that of a fucking Welinda

and now I'm sitting there going like oh that looks a little slippery.

Should I go all the way around to the fucking, I go on the other side of the street because there's a little bit of bumpy ice?

It's fucking terrible.

We are pathetic, man, between his shoulder, you and the ice, and me turning into a fucking fat fuck.

Like, we're just getting old in front of everybody and complaining, like

falling apart in front of their very eyes.

Yeah.

It's terrible.

Yeah, people feel bad.

They're like, oh, I just, I just, the pity, the pity is what keeps them coming back.

We're cautionary, Tail, all three of us.

I don't know what like that.

But I can remember like not fearing falling on ice.

I mean, I would fall.

I mean, I wouldn't have a fucking, like, I'd be like, there's not a chance I'm going to fall.

I don't care how slippery it is.

I'm not going to fall.

But now I'm like, oh, my God, I'm going to fall.

I'm so concerned about it.

That is a weird thing to believe just because you're younger.

You're like, it's not slippery to me.

Look at those other assholes falling all over the place.

I'll never get old.

I popped in.

I hooked up a VCR today.

I did it this morning.

I hooked up a VCR and I put in my high school yearbook, video yearbook,

cassette.

And I saw me and my friends

as like teenagers.

They had one footage of one of my boys playing football, and he

ran, jumped, caught the ball, hit the ground, rolled, popped up, did like a celebration thing, and tossed the ball.

And I was like, oh my God, man, the ability to move like that is just not there anymore.

It just goes away.

It depressed me because I know what he looks like now.

Let me tell you something.

It ain't that.

It ain't that.

He had hair.

You know what I mean?

Like, it was crazy.

It was so depressing, man.

How did you make out with the snow cube?

I shoveled, but I got really lucky because I was out there for about five minutes and

I was doing my shoveling, and my neighbor, my home run neighbor,

came out and I just hooked him up with something.

He needed a favor and I helped him with something.

He paid me back fucking immediately.

He's got one of the

gas-powered snowblowers.

Dude, it was fun.

It was a blast.

I was just rolling up and down, doing it, blasting the snow out.

I never used a snowblower before.

You're telling me you don't own own a snowblower?

No, that's surprising.

For that piece of property, I mean, because that's a fucking, you need a snowblower, man.

You couldn't shovel that fucking driveway.

I mean, it hasn't snowed in New York in so long, you know what I mean?

That I, that I just, I, I sort of blanked on it.

And then I was like, go ahead.

Now I'm like, now I'm like, now I'm online.

Like, apparently, you can get like the heated driveways that

where you just flick a switch and it just fucking.

So I think I might invest in that.

My wife has been hammering me for

weeks.

Tell me what you want for Christmas.

Tell me what you want for Christmas.

I came in collapsed after shuffling yesterday, and I was like, I want a fucking snowblower for Christmas.

Yeah.

Dude, it's great.

The gas power one, like you started like a chainsaw,

it worked flawless, Walt.

Like it, like you, it wasn't like, it didn't leave a little layer of snow.

It like pulled it like right up.

It was unbelievable.

I can't recommend it enough.

You know what her response was to that?

Was

I said, I want a snowblower?

She goes, You do know that's like you need to know how to operate those and like put gas in it.

And like, you know, you have to have some sort of mechanical,

you know, competence to work those.

And I'm like, yeah, you're right.

I don't know.

If you can put gas in it and you can pull that like a lawnmower type, yeah, that's all you do.

Yeah, you're in business.

Although, you know what?

I thought that about my lawnmower and my weed whacker, and both of them fucked me.

she said though like it if you're if you're running it though you know like the fumes could kill everybody if i'm running it wrong though

are you doing it indoors yeah i mean the snow's outside right

yeah well i guess but but she said she got me scared she's like you know like if you don't run it right you could kill yourself with like if the fumes hit me in the face right that seems highly unlikely i i wouldn't worry about that too much i want to quickly look up snowblower deaths

yeah i wouldn't.

I mean,

I knew guys want to buy me a snowblower.

That's the way it sounds.

Yeah, that sounds more likely.

I knew 20-year veterans on the FDNY that never fucking wore a mask when they went into fires, and they were all fine.

Well, you know, never wore a mask.

Some of those old, salty old dudes, dude, you put on a mask in front of them, and they're basically like, fucking pussy.

Like, it's,

yeah.

They just won't.

Doesn't the mask provide fucking oxygen?

Oh, I'm not talking about...

I'm sorry.

I'm not even talking about it.

Those are some tough motherfuckers.

Yeah, no,

there are the guys that won't do that either.

That won't wear it.

Dude, they're crazy.

Some of these guys are nuts.

I could tell you, I'll tell you this one story, this one fireman told me, unrelated to this.

I might have told it before because it's such a fascinating story, but he had a medal

for saving lives.

What he did is he put a ladder up against a building in Manhattan, and the ladder was 95 feet and it wasn't tall enough.

So he carried a ladder up the ladder on the rig, put it on the end of it, and then climbed up that to get into the building to save people.

Holy shit.

And it's like, I saw a picture of it and you're like, this is a fucking crazy.

Because it doesn't look stable.

It looks exactly what you think it looks like.

Like a fucking ladder on top of a tree.

Yeah.

And like the chief, the chief goes, the chief said, hey, great job.

If you ever do that again, you're fired.

And then I was like, whoa, I go, this is the kicker to the whole story.

I go, I go, chief, because he was the chief.

I was like, I was like, what was it like?

He goes, I don't remember.

I was drunk.

And I'm like, okay.

I'm like,

these are these old guys, man.

I'm so lucky when I got on, I caught a piece of those old guys because they're not on anymore.

9-11 decimated the department like that.

But yeah, so these guys wouldn't wear masks like when you go into a raging fire.

But like, I'm not even talking about that.

Like, once you beat the fire down and it's like under control, but still smoky and stuff like that they would just take it off and just start fucking pulling the ceiling and opening the walls and shit with with just the co blast in their face i mean a lot of them got cancer but my point is this i think you're okay

i think you're okay with the snowblower

well i think so too i have i have some injury profiles here if you want to hear them there's no they're not talking about deaths but um

the average age of a person who gets injured by a snowblower is 44.

They're males.

90% of their injuries are in their dominant hand and the injuries are usually amputations of fingers and middle finger is the most commonly injured probably as you're giving your snowblower the finger because it's not working.

You're probably reaching your hand in to jam to unjam it and stuff.

That's what it says.

Snow clogging at the exit chute of the machine, not noticing the impeller blades are still rotating even though the machine is off.

It's all about trying to put your hand in that chute, all these reasons.

Yeah.

Just like, you know, I never would have even thought of that though, but yeah, man, I can't afford to lose any fingers.

Definitely not.

Definitely not.

You'd have to call one of the girls out and be like, look,

you can't draw as well as I can.

That snow is packed in there.

Get it out.

Yeah, it was fun.

What do you think is in there that someone's digging out?

It's like packed in snow.

Yeah, the snow packs in and then it'll freeze up a little bit and then the blade will just get jammed.

It didn't happen to me, but I could see

how it could happen.

Did you really think that you were going to be able to shovel your entire driveway?

Me?

Yeah, you.

Oh, no.

I just figured I would do up to up to like the door.

Okay.

You know how, like,

yeah, I figured.

But yeah, actually, I was like, I'll probably be able to do the whole thing.

Well, that's it.

But now I've learned, you know, luckily I didn't have to find out at all.

And then I was like, he was like, yeah, just put it back.

Just put it in my garage when you're done, right?

And then so then I did the driveway and then I did the side of the house, and I was like, do I keep pushing this?

Do I, do I just

do the whole like around the house, or is he going to start looking out the window at one point and been like, that motherfucker's using all my gas

just fucking around?

Yeah, so I had to make a choice.

I didn't want to piss him off because, God forbid, it snows again.

And then I knew that again, so I returned it.

I returned it to him without doing the entire of my house.

If it broke on your watch, Q while you're blowing snow off your property, what do you do?

Do you?

Oh,

buy him a new one before I even tell him it's broken?

I'd be like, hey, man, yeah, I'd be like, look, the thing broke up.

Amazon's delivering you a new one tomorrow or whatever.

I would just be like, I'm sorry, man.

I don't know what happened, but you got a new one coming.

He's like, my dad gave me that.

I'd be like, well, I'll pay to get it fixed then.

I'll be like, I'll pay to get it fixed.

You should have just quietly roll it back into his garage.

Be like, thanks.

See ya.

Yeah, just be like, I was working when I had it.

You can't do that shit, though.

Not to this this guy.

He's a fucking homerun neighbor.

I can't piss this guy off.

Did you go in there?

Oh, go ahead.

If I fear if I get a snowblower, though, that

all the neighbors are, when I see them out there, though, how do I justify doing that and then watching them, like,

bust their ass?

You know, like, I have to go over and be like, here, I'll help you out and I'll do your...

And then all I'm doing then is the whole fucking street then.

No, just quote Dave Chappelle.

Just be like, I'm rich, biach, and then just go back into your house.

They could probably afford a snowblower.

Do what my buddy did.

He didn't come out and do my driveway for me.

He gave it to me.

Just be like, hey, man, if you want to use it, use it and just get it back.

I wouldn't think that, though.

Like, if my neighbor had a snowblower, I wouldn't be like, yo, a little help over here?

Like, like, I'm entitled or something.

Depends on how close.

Yeah, that's true.

I'm not saying that they would be like they were entitled, but like personally, though, I see the guy next door to me who I saw yesterday, you know, busting his ass.

And I'm like, and I, and if I go out there with a snowblower and I'm done in like 10 minutes, how do I fucking close the garage door seeing this guy, like, you know,

hurting?

You gotta pretend, you gotta pretend it ran out of gas.

Yeah.

You just gotta like do like a couple of pulls, being like, oh, man, Debbie, they ran out of gas.

Did you put gas in this?

Like, make a big show out of it and roll it in.

Or just fake an injury.

Just fake an injury, like, just digging there a little bit.

Oh, my middle finger.

My dominant hand.

Throw a hot dog in the snowblower and watch it blast the meat out everywhere.

What's your other hand called?

Is it the non-dominant hand?

I think so.

I think it's just referred to as non-dominant.

Weak hand?

Submissive hand?

Limp hand.

Hey, did you sell Watch A Mandalorian yet?

I've watched everything.

Yeah, I've seen up to and including the finale.

How fucking great was that finale, man?

Did you see it, Walt?

I haven't seen it, but do not worry about spoiling.

I'm not a guy who cares about spoilers.

Well, the audience, hey, we should, you know, if you haven't seen it yet, spoiler alert, right?

Yeah, that's the way you do it.

What'd you think of that ending?

I thought the ending was amazing, okay?

It does make me think, though, that if they can do that kind of age regression with him,

they can do it with anybody and they can make you do anything they want.

Like those deep fakes and shit.

Like they can make Brian Quinn say something that you never fucking said.

It looks exactly like you, sounds exactly like you.

Yeah.

But it's something offensive or, you know, something that's.

Do you know who has that technology?

Who?

Get him?

Declan.

Oh, Declan's deep fakes.

He sent me this crazy ass

text one night where he said that now he has everybody's voices banked,

and he can now just type out a sentence and pick the voice, and that voice will say it.

Really?

Yeah, because I said that's dangerous shit.

Really?

I mean, we say bad enough stuff as it is.

Now we're gonna.

He asked for a raise, too.

Yeah, that's pretty crazy.

And you heard it, Walt?

It sounds good.

He sent me a clip of it, and I didn't recognize it as being anything that I hadn't said before because you never said that.

He said, I typed it in and had you say it.

I was like, oh, that's pretty dope.

Yeah.

That's pretty cool.

Yeah, like to the, I guess to the, to the person who didn't say it, like, you would have never noticed

it wasn't exactly perfect, but it's close enough to

fool everybody, I guess, but the person's voice, maybe.

That cleans up to something over there.

Yeah, I thought, because what happened, Walt, is they brought Luke Skywalker in in the end, but it's young Luke.

Yeah, so they had Mark Hamill do they did the D.

It didn't look, I mean, to me, it looked, it didn't look real.

No, it look better than Princess Leia and Rogue One.

It did look better than Princess Leia and Rogue One, yeah.

But not, but, but it didn't jump the gap to like, holy shit.

And they also didn't have him say much.

Like, he was kind of very stoic, so there wasn't a lot of facial expressions.

He didn't move a lot.

Yeah, he didn't move a lot.

They tried to cover it as best they can, but it was a fucking kick-ass scene, man.

He gets on this ship, and he just starts, he lights up the lightsaber, and he had the hood down, so

it was a reveal when he pulled the hood back, but you knew who it was.

He lit up the green lightsaber, and just, you know, that scene in Rogue One where Doth Vader's going down the hallway, and, like, fucking, it was that.

But longer and with Luke.

It was pretty fucking cool, man.

Have you seen the Dark Troopers yet, Walt?

They're red.

They're red, right?

They got red eyes.

Black and red?

Yeah, they got red eyes and they're black.

Yeah, I think I have seen a still of them.

There's something called the horizon or something like that.

Isn't that what you're talking about?

Where you see where you're creating fake CGI actors?

Oh, the uncanny valley.

Uncanny Valley.

Yeah, that's what it's called, right?

So the Uncanny Valley is no longer an issue.

It looks that good now.

It is.

I didn't see the Irishman, so I can't say about that, but

you know, it is

clearly not, it's clearly CGI.

They haven't completely fixed that yet.

They did that with, didn't they do it with Kurt Russell in Guardians of the Galaxy, too, right?

Yes.

And I thought that looked pretty good.

Yeah, that looked really good.

Disney should get in touch with Declan.

Apparently, he's got all the fucker tech.

Oh, I can take care of your voices and make you say things.

Okay, what else do you got?

Yeah, but they had R2-D2 in it, Walt.

And then at the end, the very end, after the credits, Boba Fett goes into Jabba's palace on Tatooine and

just clears out Jabba's throne room,

all the remaining people in there, and then sits down in Jabba's throne and takes over the criminal syndicate on Tatooine.

So

is Jabba dead?

Jabba's dead at this point.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Bib Fortune is sitting in the chair.

And he comes in and he puts one between Bib's eyes, pulls his body off the throne, and then sits down and takes over.

It was pretty fucking cool.

One thing I noticed in this episode was that,

like the all-girl team.

Yeah.

It didn't bother me, but it did make me think, like,

is the reason that I'm noticing this is because there wasn't diversity in previous installments of most things, you know, like this kind of shit.

It was like, you know, Star Wars was all guys.

Wow, that's interesting, dude.

I never even noticed.

Now that I'm thinking about what you're saying, it is.

It's four women storming the fucking castle.

I didn't even notice that.

Think about the difference between what Marvel did with the fucking, with the Avengers Endgame, where it was like Captain Marvel and all the females, and it was just like, she's got help.

And you heard the whole theater go, give me a fucking break, as opposed to this, where I didn't even fucking notice.

That was on Staten Island.

In other places, it was a roaring cheer of approval.

That's why I'm not leaving Staten Island because everybody else is wrong.

In that instance, everybody else is wrong, and Staten Island's right.

That was the lamest cheese-dicky thing in a fucking great movie.

But here, they did it, and I didn't even notice it.

I was just kind of like excited for it to go down.

Yeah, like I said, it didn't bother me in the least, but I was like, oh, that's like four women attacking.

Obviously, this is like a move to diversify the whole universe, the whole world, which is a pretty good idea.

But is the reason, like I said, is the reason I'm noticing it is because it was so so absent earlier, you know, an earlier incarnation.

Yes, but Star Wars really didn't follow too many characters, right?

No, not really.

So there wasn't even that much of it.

I mean, out of the three main humans, one was a female.

You know, so like, how much more do you need?

Like, Chewbacca was a guy, right?

He was supposed to be a male.

Yeah, he's a male.

Yeah.

You saw the holiday special.

Oh, that's right.

The holiday special, yeah.

I wasn't sure if that was Cannon.

They're highly sexualized, too.

Yeah.

Oh, yeah.

He's watching porn, right?

The old gray woman.

They definitely like to get their freak on.

Why not, man?

Good for them, man.

Fucking wild animals.

Yeah, fucking doing.

Doing.

Yeah, I liked it.

I was a fan of that episode.

Tonight, I'm going to go into the bedroom, close the door behind me, and be like, I'm going to do it Wookiee style.

Yeah, I noticed.

You know what's funny?

This is how invested I am in your life.

You would send a text saying you were dropping Sage off off somewhere, and I was like, oh, he's got a night to himself.

I go, things are going to get crazy around there.

Wookie style, baby.

Yeah, Wookiee style's going down.

That house is going to be leaning in the other fucking direction by the time tonight's over.

Yeah, people are going to be like, holy shit, it's finally collapsing.

Just

boys, normally I like to talk about serial killers, but today I just want to talk about cereal, and that's Magic Spoon.

All right.

Got Magic Spoon back.

The cereal with very low neck carbs.

Let's see.

Carbs, sugar, unhealthy food.

Hey, you were just talking about getting healthier, Q.

Magic Spoon could be the way.

Oh, no, no.

I don't know if I said I was getting healthier.

Oh, okay.

You're like, I'm actually getting unhealthier.

Yeah, like, I think I'm still plummeting.

I don't think I've reached rock bottom yet.

As soon as you hit rock bottom, Magic Spoon's going to be there for you.

Yeah.

Just like the cereals were there for you when you were a kid Saturday morning.

Were you a big cereal guy?

I do.

I do.

I was a big cereal guy back in the day.

I like cereal now, too.

Is that really part of

the type to read where they actually are referencing the cereals you grew up with?

Because I would imagine they would want no fucking connection whatsoever to that fucking 100% pure

uncut sugar that was the cereals of our day.

Right.

Well, I think they're like, look, we're going to acknowledge other cereals exist, but we're just saying that, like, ours are healthier.

Yeah.

I mean, it says right here, like, one of the best parts of being a kid.

But I have.

Wow, I'm surprised at that.

Hmm.

So

here's something you need to know: zero sugar, 11 grams of protein, and only three net grams of carbs in each serving.

It's those carbs that are doing it, because we're not burning off the carbs.

We're not in ketosis or any of that such thing.

Is it the milk, though, too?

Yeah, milk is pretty sugary.

So if you drink it, if you eat it with water, you're even better better off.

I guess.

Do people have cereal though with water?

I mean, they did it in Friday, remember when Ice Cube ran out of milk and John Witherspoon told them to use water?

I mean, I've heard it.

Like, if people are poor, they use water with their cereal.

Yeah.

I've been using almond milk.

I've used almond milk.

Oh, yeah, almond milk's pretty decent.

Yeah, it's pretty good.

They have four flavors, which isn't true.

This must be an old copy because I just ordered peanut butter.

Four flavors, cocoa, fruity, frosted, and blueberry.

And if you go on now, I mean, they definitely have peanut butter.

It tastes very good, and it's equito-friendly, gluten-free, grain-free, soy-free, low-carb, and GMO-free.

And which one did you like, Hugh?

I was a fruity guy.

They had the flakes, the flake one.

Oh, yeah, that would be the frosted.

Yeah, those

were good.

Mary Beth likes blueberry.

It's all good.

They got got something for you.

This magic spoon.

So go to magicspoon.com slash TESD to grab a variety pack and try it today.

And be sure to use the promo code T-E-S-D at checkout to get free shipping.

And Magic Spoon is so confident in their product.

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And use the code T-E-S-D for free shipping.

We thank Magic Spoon for sponsoring the podcast.

All right, we're back at it.

You know, you know, one more thing about Mandalorian, because I wanted to throw this by you.

So, in the end of the season, Walt, Luke comes and takes baby Yoda to train him as a Jedi.

Like, that's how the season ends.

And

my complaint about the, well, I had a lot of complaints about the new trilogy, but my biggest complaint was

they were so depressing and dire, and all the characters were fucking miserable, and nobody was happy.

And, like, Han was divorced from Leia, and his ship was stolen, and it was depressing, and Luke was living living on a fucking planet.

And, like, they've turned those.

Like, now, when Luke took little Yoda, Grogu, I was like,

man, I wish Luke didn't take him because Luke's a fuck-up.

Because Luke's going to fuck this whole Jedi thing up, and he's going to end up living alone on a planet.

And it's like, that's how they've made me feel about Luke Skywalker.

So now the 30 years in between Jedi and Force Awakens, I don't want to see any Luke Skywalker stories because I know how it ends, and it's fucking horribly depressing.

How does that tie blind work, too?

I couldn't understand that.

If, like, Luke is young and he's taking baby Yoda, but then Luke eventually meets old Yoda and doesn't seem to.

No, this is after Return of the Jedi.

Oh, this is after that.

Mandalorian takes place.

Yeah, Luke is dead already.

Oh, Yoda died already.

Okay.

Yeah.

I think it's nine years after Jedi is when this takes place.

Or five.

Because he's Grogu.

They call him Baby Yoda.

So he's Yoda or he's not Yoda?

No, no, no.

They just called him that because they didn't know what his name was.

Now they know his name's Grogu.

Gotcha.

So now Baby Yoda is out of the picture now?

He's not going to be a character going forward in Mandalorian season three.

The season ended with no answers.

In fact, I was wondering, because it says after Boba Fett sits in the throne, a little crion comes up that says the book of Boba Fett coming December 2021.

And initially, I thought that that meant season three of The Mandalorian was going to be about Boba Fett.

They were switching focus.

But my friends don't, other opinions I've talked to have don't feel that way.

So I don't know.

Do you think they did that a little bit too quick?

Like, you know, don't you think that could have played out a little bit longer?

The baby Yoda mystery and the

whole,

you know,

now he's gone from The Mandalorian's life.

I don't think you will, though, because you never saw him in The Force.

He's never mentioned anywhere else in The Force Awakens.

So at some point, so either Kylo Wren kills him in the fucking in Force Awakens, or he leaves at some point.

This is what I'm talking about.

They made the fucking situation so dire that you can't even enjoy the fact that baby Yoda's with fucking Luke.

Like, you have to be like, I hope he gets away from Luke.

But I got to imagine that they're not going to write him off for forever.

They can't.

He's not going to be able to do that.

Yeah, I was going to say, because

that's very surprising to me because it was so well received and everything.

Now to take that

duo and separate them, you know, maybe that's not the case.

They won't won't separate them.

But if they do, that's kind of like

when

in Moonlighting, once they fucked, it was over.

Yeah.

Well,

they did say that Grogu,

she said the other Jedi that you met

said she couldn't train him because he was too angry and scared.

So maybe Luke will come to the same thing and just be like, look, man, this guy's fucking, which I actually thought was cool because like, and you see a scene of him knocking stormtroopers around like they were nothing, baby Yoda, like trying to fucking kill him, throwing him against walls and shit like that.

And I said, you know what?

I think it's actually cooler if there is a risk of Grogu becoming

bad because we already have like a perfect benevolent green alien.

You know, his name's Yoda.

I don't need another one.

Like, I think he's more interesting if Luke's like, this motherfucker is dangerous.

I can't train him.

I think that's actually pretty cool.

You know what I mean?

So hopefully they go in that direction.

But so far, they haven't made many missteps on that show, in my opinion.

dude um my question to you is like at the end when it was all said and done were you shedding tears

i was not but uh joe de rosa certainly was joe de rosa he told did he tell you too yeah he told me that he wept

i fucking love that guy he's awesome he was on the uh he was on the show that i do with irock today he and sal for uh taste buds they have a podcast

they may come on tell him steve dave i don't know i'm trying to land them not sure if that's that's going to happen.

I hope so.

Those guys are great.

Yeah.

I didn't.

Like, Kevin, obviously, since he posted a picture of himself crying, we know that he cries unapologetically with that kind of shit.

But is there something with me that is not stirring me to those type of feelings?

Like, even close to it?

It didn't do it to me either, and I don't feel like I'm deficient in any of it.

I watched fucking Happy Death Day to You or Happy Death Day 2 the other day, and I started tearing up at that when she's talking to her mom and shit.

I was like, oh, this is pretty fucking.

I was like, I'm looking around me like, whoops, this is pretty.

So I know it's within me, but that scene didn't do it to me.

Yeah.

I don't think there's anything wrong with it.

And I can't imagine many people are crying at

that scene that you just described in Happy Death Day.

But it might just be the moment.

Like maybe it's other shit

weighing on you.

There's just something going on.

There's something inside that connects you to that moment that maybe you're not even aware of.

Yeah, I guess.

I mean, I thought she did.

Did you see that movie, the second one?

How'd you do that?

I only saw the first one.

I see the second one.

So the second one I started watching, I got 15 minutes into it, and I was like, this is shit.

I don't want to see this.

I don't know how they fucked this up, but it wasn't good.

And then last night, was it last night or the night before?

I was like, let me give it another shot because I really liked the first one.

And I fucking broke through and I really liked it.

I was like, it's really good.

But she,

because what happens is the thing of it is she gets thrown into another dimension.

It's weird.

They explain it in the movie in a way where instead of waking up in the same morning, she wakes up in another dimension.

And in that dimension, her mother's alive.

And she gets a chance to tell her mother some things that she wanted to say to her before she died in her dimension.

And I was watching a little bit.

And she did such a good job with the scene.

I was like, well, I was like, all right.

You know, I wasn't bawling, but I was definitely like.

It's in her dimension a little bit still.

Yeah.

So now I feel like I need to watch it.

It's good.

I would recommend it.

Yeah, it was pretty good.

You got to get pissed.

You're going to do what I did and hate the first 15 minutes.

You're like, this fucking nonsense sucks.

But once you get through it, it's really good.

All right.

I'll check it out.

Walt,

Tom Cruise, surely you heard about this.

Going back to COVID.

Yeah,

I saw he

was a little upset about some violations on the set of Mission Impossible.

You know, I don't fault the guy.

I mean, he doesn't want to get that production shut down.

He's not.

I mean,

I thought the rest of the online community would support that, though.

That kind of militant, like, you do not fucking fuck around with this shit.

I think you're right.

It doesn't have the same fallout as the Christian Bell audio, where he's yelling because somebody's in his eye line.

Like, this is a guy who's like, motherfuckers, how many times do I have to say it?

Like, put those goddamn...

I mean, he really, like, you listen to it, right?

Do we know what they did,

what they were doing that was in violation?

Did they ever say what

were two guys who were looking at a monitor and they didn't have masks on, and it wasn't like the first time they'd done it.

So I guess Tom Cruise eventually got pissed and flipped out.

Because he's a producer, too, on the movie.

Oh, yeah.

The guy stands probably to make like $100 million or something.

But I didn't listen to it, but what I read a transcript, and it sounded like he was really like...

It wasn't about the, does he care about how much money he makes or doesn't make at this point?

He seemed like really pissed that they just weren't, they were putting other people at risk in his eyes.

Like I said, I didn't listen to the tape, but in that instance, first of all, like we live in an era now where getting fucking yelled at by your boss is like,

I mean,

I got yelled at plenty of times in my life without fucking having to go online and cry about it.

Like,

I feel like, like, today, like, now we're opening investigations if somebody's fucking mean to someone on set.

I get sexual harassment 100%.

Hurt feelings?

Hurt feelings?

I'm like, like, this is what we're doing now?

Like, no wonder why nobody wants to fucking...

You're just like, this is crazy.

Like, we're fucking getting all worked up.

I mean, look at the way Walt talks again.

Do you think that would fly in a movie setting these days?

No.

I don't think so.

Yeah, somebody be recorded, Walt.

He says, if I see you do it again, you're fucking gone.

And if anyone in this crew does it, that's it.

And you, and you too, and you too.

And don't you ever fucking do it again.

And his angry outbursts left 50 crew members shocked.

Five staffers later quit as a result of the rant.

Cruz has been pictured on set wearing a mask and even rented a cruise ship so the staff could self-isolate.

I wonder if

the masks will play a role.

Like, will it be real-time, real-world?

Like, will they acknowledge COVID existing in this new Mission Impossible, though?

I doubt it.

Yeah, who wants to see that?

I love the Mission Impossible movies, man.

I mean, I don't want anything to fuck them, to not have them keep coming out.

I wish they came out on a more regular basis.

Yeah, I don't know.

I agree with you.

I think he was, it sounded to me like he was just being a leader.

Like, in a, he was like fucking doing, sometimes you got to whip ass, like, when you're, when you're in the fucking top seat, and that's just the way it is.

It's just that this guy's public.

I'll bet you plenty of private bosses are screaming at their employees over things that are much smaller.

Dude, the shit that got said to me in the fire department, like on a daily basis.

It's like, I think maybe that's why I'm skewed and I don't have a frame of reference for it because I've always worked in jobs where the boss always were,

it wasn't unusual for

a boss to be able to express himself in an angry way.

And it was your job not to fuck up and not get him in that way.

Yeah.

I remember the time that Kevin yelled at me at the fucking stash?

And you were like,

and I got all fucking angry and I marched down to the stash and you were like, calm down, calm down, calm down.

Yeah, Yeah, I'm like, here's the key, calm down.

Yeah, yeah.

It's fucking crazy.

Yeah.

Do you think that blockbusters are going to be feasible if there's no more movie theaters?

I heard that there was some discussion about that by some, I forget which filmmaker it was, but he was like, the age of the blockbuster is over.

You won't see these gigantic budgets because you're not going to see these movies make these

fucking huge boatloads of money because

they're going to be streaming and you're not going to see those gigantic fucking paydays

you know for like I don't know what's the last like gigantic blockbuster

end game maybe

yeah it would have been oh it would have been early 2020 I think it was Christopher Nolan who said it he was like it's over you know you're gonna be yeah it's like gonna be plenty there's gonna be more content than you can that you can watch of course there will be because of all the streaming but like the days of of movies generating the money that they made back in the day when they were like

it's probably never going to happen again.

You know, it will probably become more important than anything will be ancillary and merchandise.

So if movies are going to become the big fucking thing.

So they're going to be looking to develop properties that

can feed into that, I guess.

But I think, just based on nothing but my own opinion, I feel like the death of movie theaters is being wildly overstated right now.

I bet you they'll still be there.

Bounce back.

Yeah, I I think so.

It'll take years.

I mean, it'll take quite a while.

I think people once people get used to

doing it at home, it's over to try to get them back into a theater.

I think if you're older, if you're older, I think, like us, like if somebody's like, hey, you can rent a movie for twenty, twenty-five bucks and just watch it at home, that's what I'm doing.

Rather than dragging Mary Beth to the theater and the popcorn and all the bullshit that goes along with it costs fucking sixty, seventy dollars.

You just stay at home.

I believe that young people, though, will want something to do.

They'll want to go on dates dates and everything.

So, yeah, those like if theaters come back for that, yeah, maybe for them.

But, man, once you let the genie out of the bottle, and God forbid, then, if you fucking, if like people who'd never fucking

investigated how easy it is to get a get to watch the movie for free

and just not even rent it, once they, I mean, it's over in terms of like getting those big, gigantic blockbusters.

Yeah.

They must be nervous, too, about like pirating.

Like, because once that movie's out there, there's always going to be somebody who figures out how to fucking download that shit for free.

Yeah, that person's fucking get him Steve Dave, man.

Yeah.

That dude fucking watches every single new thing he d i

illegally.

You want to state that?

On the computer you're using right now?

Oh, yeah, yeah.

On on this this this laptop I'm using right now it

is littered.

It's fucking it's got l it's like lice with with illegal Disney property.

He was watching the IJ movie before it came out.

Plus also

Giddam's life.

Lice.

Yeah, a lot of people pirated.

It was very pirated, the Impractical Jokers movie.

We lost a lot of money on that.

Was it really?

Oh, yeah.

How do you know?

They have some sort of metric for how many times it's illegally downloaded and stuff.

And we got some number.

I don't know.

It's a few months now.

And it was like, Yeah, wow, we took a hit, man.

If all the people that had watched it illegally had watched it in theaters or bought it, you could afford a snowblower.

Yeah, I might be able to afford a snowblower.

How does that make you feel?

How do you digest something like that?

That just would drive me nuts.

It's just like

I don't see how people could just be like, ah, whatever.

It's like

that to me is fucking like,

it would make me so fucking annoyed.

It doesn't.

I just

nothing I can do.

What am I going to do?

I can't get worked up about it.

And fucking, how much amount of that money am I really going to see anyway?

But it was, but

I know certain other people got annoyed by it

in my group.

Certain group of friends were annoyed by that number.

But I was just like, what are you going to do?

Well,

let's say someone gave you the opportunity to

for a little payback.

And you could wish upon everybody who legally downloaded it some sort of malady.

What kind of stuff are we talking about?

No.

No?

No.

The only wish I can make any wish I want, I would be like, I wish that bank accounts got drained to 50 bucks and it went in my account.

That'd be it.

But I wouldn't.

Not even when I'm not going to be irritable, bow, maybe, just for a day or two.

What am I going to do?

That's not enough of a deterrent, though.

What about for the next artist who gets fucking ripped off, though?

Q.

You had a chance to fucking make a statement, a bold statement,

and you went soft.

Wait, he's making this a public statement.

He has the power to fucking affect them all with COVID or something.

And he's like, maybe you should have paid up.

Now you're going to pay.

Now you're going to pay it.

Yeah.

I think people respect power like that.

I wouldn't do it again.

Despite what I just said about Tom Cruise being a leader and like a fucking real man and shit like that,

I can't imagine ever yelling at anybody on my crew ever.

So I guess I'm a bit of a pussy.

So maybe I am.

Maybe we're just learning I'm a big old softy.

Would you yell at somebody who's like,

hey, dude, I fucking downloaded your movie illegally.

It was fucking awesome.

You wouldn't fucking get in their face and just fucking want to dress them down and just fucking grab them by the lapels and shake the fucking

idiotic

stupid look off their fucking faces.

No, no, no.

Have you lost money recently in something that we don't know about?

Okay, over there.

I found out someone's been illegally downloading Make It Right.

That whole fucking project should be illegal.

Yeah, how did I...

I see,

I think I would wish,

like I said, I just had this one.

Everybody who illegally downloaded the IJ movie, I could give them...

I gave them like a really bad bout of vertigo for maybe by maybe half a year.

Six months.

Being incapacitated?

It would take me that long to make the movie.

They can't stand up for a year.

It's so unpleasant.

What if I gave them color blindness, but only when they're watching movies?

So I remove the enjoyment of movies for them.

Or just blindness.

So

they can't provide for their families.

They can't like all this stuff.

Do you want to put an end to this?

The scourge of pirating or not?

But you would just have to do it to one guy.

If you do it to one guy, and then you're like, all right, everybody else, he's blind for a year.

You want to be blind for a year?

Yeah, but you look at Geth and

the stash would get a lot of tax breaks if we employed a blind man, though.

I don't know.

Does he have a what?

Why does he do it?

He knows it's stealing, right?

Oh, it's cheap.

Get him.

Why do you illegally download it?

Why are you unwilling to pay your proper due to watch something that you're that you're the expectation is we make this art for you.

Please reward the artist and the crew.

Why do you feel it's okay to illegally download it?

I don't have a T V.

Oh, that is

I watch it all on my laptop.

So why?

You could still pay for it on your laptop.

He can't can't hear me, Brad.

Oh, you could still pay for it on your laptop.

Why on earth would you need to, like, that is not an excuse that you don't have a television?

I pay for years and years and years of cable.

Oh, my God.

This is his argument.

That's some rational.

I pay for years for years for comics.

Should I be able to get every new comic book that comes out off the stands in 2020 since I paid for them from 1975 to 2000?

No,

you've taken advantage of comic books and enjoyed them.

I had cable, and I didn't always enjoy it as much as I have.

So now I'm enjoying it.

This is the fucking man with a 148 IQ.

That's his fucking argument for stealing.

Why didn't he just tell the truth, which is, I don't give a fuck.

That's the truth.

Oh, he doesn't want to tell the truth.

Nobody does who does it.

Yeah.

I mean, that's really the only reason, though.

I don't want to pay for it.

Yeah, I don't want to pay for it.

That's it.

But I still want to enjoy it, though.

Yeah.

I mean, it's not the money that bothers me.

It's like, this is the thing, especially with that movie, is, and it did pretty good, but like, if all those people had paid to see it, we would have probably

been making more

movies today.

They fucked it up.

So if they, you know what I mean?

So it's like, I don't know.

If they like us and they like the four of us and they like our careers, like by pirating it, that large group of people, you know, I mean, we still got an offer to make another one.

I just didn't want to do it, but they're like, it just seems like maybe I would have if we made more money.

I don't know.

You know what I mean?

I don't know.

Yeah.

I mean,

the thing is, with like an Avengers, like an endgame, it's like they probably factored into the price of business, right?

You've got God knows how much of a budget, whereas something like yours, like your budget was very small.

It's $5 million.

Yeah.

That's considered a low-budget movie these days.

So it hurts you guys way more than it hurts the big guys,

yeah.

And actually, we had no advertising, like, we had no, all we had was a few commercials on True TV.

That's all we had, and we still kicked ass.

So, if all those people had paid, we would have been a fucking, we would have been an unstoppable success story this year if all those people had paid.

Hugh, if you and the you and the other jokers were to go Metallica style against like Napster, against pirating, I'm sure you guys would be fucking beloved by

the world for as beloved as Lars was

for trying to end piracy.

I mean, you're victims.

You are legitimate victims.

You guys should go on a fucking, like a real like jihad against pirating.

Yeah.

I just Joker's jihad.

You can sell shirts.

Is that the sequel?

The Joker's Jihad?

You take a road trip to get your money back from everyone who downloaded it.

Turns out poor Abdul downloaded it.

Oh, shit.

I do want to see that version of that movie.

That's pretty funny.

What would you think the reaction would be with Bry if like the Jokers really were like, we're going to fucking put our name behind this.

We're going to put an effort to really make people aware.

Try to guilt them.

Try to shame them.

And they went like full full bore just as like just like metallica did against napster what would the fallout be i think america's sweethearts would quickly

quickly

isn't it fucked up though isn't that fucked up though that like they would be reviled for like being like hey stop fucking taking money out of our fucking pockets and the crew's pockets dude if you are not just the jokers if if q is walking down the street and somebody pickpocket him stole his wallet and ran down the street q follows him gets him, gets the money back.

Everyone's celebrating Q.

But if Q's like, hey, you guys stole money by illegally downloading this, and now we're going to go after you, they're like, You're a fucking piece of shit.

It doesn't make any sense.

Bring it to the rest of the Joker, see what they think, Q.

How do you guys feel about Joker's jihad?

Well, we can ask Sal.

We can get Sal on this.

Yeah, I bet you Sal wasn't pleased.

He may be for a jihad.

Yeah, I don't remember Sal commenting on it too much.

It was, it was, I mean, not that they shouldn't be pissed.

Right.

Like, you know what I mean?

Like, they should be.

I don't, nobody was acting inappropriately, but I know there were some people more upset than me

in that I wasn't upset at all.

I was like, what are you going to do?

What the fuck am I going to do?

Nothing.

Nothing.

I'm not going to do anything.

Hey, you know where you're going to make that money back?

Talking about Meandies.

Oh, yeah.

I mean, it's probably going to be a little slower getting the money back.

But it is almost the new year.

We're almost done with 2020,

which means we all get to hit the beautiful refresh button.

Do you think we can do that?

New Year's Eve, will we be able to hit that restart?

Just take 2021 back?

No.

No.

2021 first six months are pretty beat, at least the first six months, you think?

I would think so.

I think it's going to be a little easier with Trump out of office.

Like, I think people are going to dial down

the rage a little bit,

which I've kind of already noticed.

You guys are noticing that?

I think so, too.

Yeah.

Which is good.

Yeah.

It's good for the country.

So, you know, maybe in that respect.

Yeah.

But let's talk about your undies drawer, Q.

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Oh, and then it says get them.

I thought for some reason I thought they were referring to get them.

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You guys love Miundis.

We've made no secret of that.

In fact, we trumpet it from the highest mountain if we can.

And now that it's dark out by like 4 p.m., all you want to do is become one with the couch.

Do you find that Walt?

You're like, I just want to fucking get home.

When it's dark, you're just like, I wonder if it's like within our character as humans to be like, it's dark out.

Let's go to our shelter.

Let's get safe.

Yeah, going back to the cave before the dinosaurs got you.

Yeah, exactly.

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Walt, I also wanted to ask you about this.

The

Lamar Jackson, I think his name is

very scandalous.

How is this a scandal?

Everybody thinks he pooped his pants, and he's denying it.

Oh, no, no, no, no.

I didn't hear this.

I thought you were going to tell me that he left the game to use the bathroom.

But he came back in time to win the game.

Oh, did he?

Then why is this a story?

I have no idea what stories you're reading, but

from what I heard was I was watching the game live,

and he had to leave the game, and they had a camera that follows him down

the hall to the locker room.

And he was walking oddly, which either meant like he had hurt his groin or he was holding something in, or you know, and I think about it, it would be if maybe there was something, you know, you had something had squirted out, you know, and you that you didn't want out.

Right.

I mean, those guys are getting hit hard in the gut, man.

It's just natural that something might, you know, squeak out.

I don't know if I've ever heard that ever happening.

No, I've been watching football since the 80s.

I've never heard someone say, boy, you hit me so hard that I shit my pants.

No.

Yeah, I mean, I guess it's different than that long-distance running, you know, like those triathlons where they're always shitting all over themselves.

The wall, baby.

Yeah, the wall.

It says that he says, I didn't pull a Paul Pierce in reference to a former Boston Celtic star who was carried off the court in a wheelchair for an apparent bathroom break during the 2008 playoffs.

He said he had to run to the locker room to get treatment for cramps because of the cold and required intravenous fluids.

Why is it that even after, like,

if it were the case where he's like, look, I just had to take a shit, so many people are like, they would make something up.

Like, no, no, no, I just needed some fluids.

Like, you don't want to admit to doing what everyone else on earth does.

I don't know.

What is it?

It's just not sexy.

You know, it's just not like the quarterback is always synonymous with like the star, the sex symbol.

You know, you don't want to

have to go out and tell 100 million people like, oh, yeah, sorry, I had to go take a shit.

He's almost elevated above regular humans on that field.

He's the guy.

Some quarterbacks are.

Yeah.

Never come close to you, pooping your pants?

Any situation?

I shit my pants in New Orleans back in

the late 90s.

Yeah.

I got so drunk that I just I sat down on a I was ho I was gargoyling over a toilet and I thought that I was gargoyling correctly, but I wasn't and the shit just went into my pants.

Yeah, that was bad that was bad i remember one time

walt's face

and now you know walt now you know why he doesn't want to go off the field and be like i took a shit because it'll look like

that face that exact face

that's true i remember one time uh

my mother told me that darren was over in a barns and noble and she had to rush uh pants over to him at the barns and noble and i was like why what happened and she said that he went into the bathroom and he was like going to use the, not the urinal, but the regular toilet.

He sat down, you know, pulled his pants down and didn't notice there was shit all over the floor.

And then his pants got shit on them.

That sounds to me like a made-up story.

Why did he tell his mother this?

I guess there was nobody else to bring him pants.

Or she might have been with him.

She might have been with him.

Because remember, Sports Authority used to be right next to that Barnes and Noble in Eatontown.

Not the the one at the mall, but the other one.

So I think she ran over and got him some shorts.

But

that sounded like, as Joe Biden would say, malarkey to me.

So Christmas plans.

This will come out after Christmas, so this is

not the last episode of.

I guess we're going to do one more in the stash, but this will probably be the last one for the year.

Really?

Yeah, I think so, because this comes out, has to come out on the 28th.

Oh, you're not releasing it next week?

No, I think it has to come out on the 28th for some reason.

Why?

So then we'll see.

Spots, I think.

Oh, okay.

Oh, wow.

Wait, what's today?

Today's the 18th.

Oh, it might be sooner than that then.

Because really, we have two weeks from today in December.

Right, it may be sooner than that then.

I'll have to ask her.

Yeah.

Oh, yeah.

We're going to have one last recording in the old stash, huh?

Fare thee well.

There won't be a dry eye in the house, I don't think, right, Q?

Yeah, it's going to be like happy death day part three up in here.

Yeah, Luke Skywalker showed up.

It's going to be bittersweet, man.

It's, it's, you know, it's a lot of history in that store.

Oh, hell yeah, man.

But like many things, like,

I just feel like the little Telham Steve Dave space with our green wall and no columns blocking it, you know, nice and and open space.

It's just going to be,

it's going to be better.

It's going to be so much better.

For sure.

Onwards and upwards, man.

For sure.

Yeah, it's not like we're downgrading.

We're actually going to.

It's going to be fucking cool.

A little store Waltz told us.

And

if I was an aunt, I would be excited about...

I mean, because at this point, we're doing this podcast 10 years now, right?

Yeah.

Some people might be like, these guys got to be close to wrapping this up, but like the fact that we're moving into a new space, opening up a Telem Steve Dave section, you know, building ourselves like a little Aryan studio and to shoot more stuff is like a good sign for the future of this podcast.

Yeah, it's pretty good.

Yeah, I agree.

As long as people fucking, you know, don't illegally download shit from us.

You know.

Fuck, what was I going to say now?

Shit, I totally lost it.

Sorry, I cut you off.

No, that's okay.

That's okay.

Oh, no, no.

I was going to say,

Christmas, yeah, seeing what you were doing for Christmas.

Oh, I'm not the same thing every year.

I'm hanging out home by my home myself.

I may go down to, if I could pull it off, I may drive down to Florida for New Year's Eve with my parents.

I think I'm going to do that if I can.

Yeah, I'm going to go to Troy.

How long does that take you?

That's a 16-hour drive.

Oh, you're going to drive there?

Yeah, I'm not going to fly and then go see my parents.

You know what I mean?

Oh, yeah.

If anything, I'll fly home.

I could fly home, but I'd have to drive down there.

Yeah.

And I can't, I, yeah.

So I couldn't really do that on Christmas because then I need people to watch my house and I wouldn't ask like Helen or Stacey did to take care of, you know what I mean?

Like

on Christmas.

So

how does it take you so little time to get there?

It took me like 30 hours to get to Florida.

What part of Florida?

Just to get there.

Just to get to the fucking Welcome to Florida sign.

No, that's 12 hours.

Well, really.

how fast are you driving?

No,

you keep it around the speed, like an average, maybe of 10 miles per hour over the speed limit, you know?

So you're not on the shoulder with your hazards the whole time.

No, no, not at all.

You know, no stops.

I don't know.

You know, you're going down with a family.

You probably got to make multiple stops and stuff like that.

Oh, my God.

The bathroom brakes are unbelievable.

With females?

Yeah, right.

Oh, yeah.

The females, and they see a bathroom and they're like, oh, my god, maybe I should stop.

Maybe I should stop.

Not even like, maybe I should stop, but we may never see another bathroom again.

I can't remember if she actually did it or Kevin suggested it, but like Jen, when Jen and Kevin were going on these road trips, she would drink those big gulps, like Diet Coke, big gulps, and she would want to stop every two minutes for a bathroom.

And I think he suggested that she wear a diaper.

So they didn't have to stop as often.

I'm pretty sure that's the way it went.

How the hell does Jen stay so thin if she's drinking those?

Well, it's Diet Coke, so

there's nothing in it.

Yeah, it's basically a little bit of flavored water.

What about you, Walt?

I couldn't sit in a wet diaper, though.

Wouldn't it be really unpleasant?

Yeah, like just so you don't have to stop?

What's the rush?

Yeah.

What about you, Walt?

Staying home?

We're going to have some family over for Christmas.

The brother-in-law is coming over with his family.

We're getting it catered

by

a little Chick-fil-A.

Oh, yeah.

Look at you.

Yeah.

Yeah, a little Chick-fil-A.

That is not what I expect you to say.

It's Chick-fil-A.

I mean,

it is good.

People do love it.

Oh, yeah.

Where are you going from the mall?

We have to get actually the not Eaton Town.

Eaton Town doesn't carry mac and cheese at their Chick-fil-A, so we have to go to the one in Woodbridge because for some reason, only certain

Chick-fil-As carry the mac and cheese.

So we got to get it from Woodbridge.

What decisions lead to a Chick-fil-A Christmas?

Like, how are you?

What can that eat?

A Chick-fil-A Christmas.

I love that.

It sounds so Americana.

Like, Norman Rockwell should fucking paint a picture of that.

Like, it should be a special.

Yeah.

What decisions?

No gays allowed.

Not at this Christmas party.

I think it's a matter of like, we like so little,

and

we have to find something that excites all of us.

So we're like, what about Chick-fil-A?

And everybody's head just snaps immediately.

It's like, definitely Chick-fil-A.

Yeah, some chicken nuggets and chicken tenders.

I love how, as a family, you guys are like,

not for us.

Like, we don't like that.

Do you know how hard it is to get four people to agree to like anything?

But they are all in agreement of, like, we do not like any number of these things.

Is Debbie picky, too?

I wouldn't have thought that.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah.

We're all picky.

You got anything catered, Q?

No, I actually until you brought that up.

This is the first I thought about what I'd be.

I just assume it was like a regular day for me.

You know what DeRosa is doing?

He's cooking a goose, he said.

An actual, like, go down to the market and get me me the biggest goose you could find, fucking goose.

Yes.

I forgot to ask him today about it.

We didn't have time, but I heard him on the pod that he was doing with Sal that he's getting a Christmas goose and making it.

That sounds fucking disgusting, doesn't it?

What does a goose taste like?

I'll bet you it's like old.

Yeah, greasy and fatty, like old dark meat and shit.

Oh, why would you do this?

It's hipster, man.

It's the polar opposite to Chick-fil-A.

Yeah.

Chick-fil-A any day over a fucking nasty ass goose.

Yeah.

Chick-fil-A is all white, straight meat.

You know?

Tell them Steve's day.

Fucking gay chickens.

Gotta weed them out.