#464: Ignorance is Dope

Suck Brian Johnson's dick.

Yeah, he's doing the right thing.

Gals love Gert.

Everything is solved with a drug.

I would be so, you know,

there, partner.

Tell them, Steve, Dave.

Hello, and welcome to this week's edition of Tell'em Steve Dave.

Boys, I'm going crazy over here.

I've been quarantining.

I don't know how much longer I can take it.

You were just in Florida yesterday.

What are you talking about?

It's maddening, I tell you.

Yeah, the quarantining thing, how do you feel about it?

Because I have mixed feelings.

Well, first off, I'm proud of you, Bri.

You're doing the right thing, which is like, for all the people that bitch and fucking go after you,

I mean, I want to see just as many fucking people step up and fucking write accolades and

tell you how awesome you are for fucking doing the right thing, even if you're not on the fence about it, you know?

Yeah.

Oh, by the way, everyone, we're recording remotely today since I am quarantining.

So Walt's at the store accuses at his place and I'm at my place.

So if you hear some delays and shit, that's probably why.

But we're going to do our best, as we always do.

There shouldn't be any delays.

Like,

Declan will have the audio from all three of us separately.

Yeah, fix it at Declan.

But delays.

Fix it.

Yeah, the whole quarantining thing, I'm kind of like, as they're saying it on the plane, they're like, you're expected to quarantine, which immediately, like, expected sounds parental.

You know, it sounds like, do it.

Like, like, you're expected to behave yourself in church.

You know, like, fuck you, man.

You know, and like, of all the people, now, 48 states are quarantining or something like that.

Are you telling me that the millions of people

who travel every day, they're all inside their house for 14 fucking days?

Stop it.

Stop it.

Yeah, but that doesn't make them right.

No, they're not right.

But

I just don't

understand

why, though.

If I'm going to a state that has pretty much the same rate of COVID that we do,

if I'm observing all the same things, I have a mask on.

I'm not like in large gatherings.

God knows I tried, but it was too much for me.

I couldn't handle it.

So, like, what's the difference between here and there, I guess, is what I'm asking.

Well, I think there's a difference between like I'm zipping on down to fucking Pathmark or Home Depot to get something and being right back in my house and jumping on a plane, flying into Orlando and hitting theme parks.

I think there's a world of difference.

Just me.

I mean, I told you in a text, I was like,

the theme parks are filled with the type of people that go to theme parks in

pandemics.

Like, they're the least trustworthy people.

You're one of them.

I mean, it's like they're the type of people that should be locked up in their homes for a couple of comments.

Yeah.

But you're doing the right thing, though, man.

You're doing the right thing, and you deserve all the kudos and all the accolades.

Start patting yourself on the back for what you're doing right here, right now, because you fucking deserve it.

Both hands.

Oh, okay.

Well, I can't do my left arm.

I'm crippled.

Well, I'm very surprised you, Walt.

It's been 24 hours and you're already giving it to him.

Like, why don't you see how he does in a week?

I mean, you want to, this is how you reinforce good behavior.

You got to praise them

because if he gets this, it's like a conditioning.

It's like Pavlo's dog.

Yeah, you hear that, Reddit?

Ring a a bell so I won't come for my child

yeah all those fucking assholes that are always fucking bragging on you suck Brian Johnson's dick yeah he's doing the right thing

oh why the hell weren't why aren't we recording the the the vision the video we have of each other to release it as a Patreon

I mean, Walt fucking gave us double birds.

That's true.

That's a rarity.

Yeah.

Yeah, so I did go to Orlando.

This is a trip I planned a couple months ago not knowing.

Like, I thought the spike never came.

You know, the one that they were saying in the fall.

It's like, it's going to spike.

So I'm like, all right, well, it didn't come.

Flights are really cheap.

I need to.

What are you talking about?

It didn't come.

It definitely came.

Well, no, it eventually came.

But when I made the arrangements, it hadn't come yet.

Oh, okay.

I think we're in the spike right now.

So I was like, fuck it.

I'm going to go to Orlando for a couple days.

Maybe we'll go to a theme park.

Maybe.

I had planned on just hanging around the place, going in the pool, and that kind of shit.

Once we were there, though, Sage wanted to go to SeaWorld.

So I was like, okay.

And they were pretty good about their social distancing shit as far as like

you've been there, both you guys?

SeaWorld?

Not in decades.

SeaWorld, yeah.

I've been there.

I haven't been there

since the new

nature-friendly SeaWorld has gone into effect where they're like, you know, there's no more orcas.

Right.

Because I'm like, what's the point?

What's the fucking point if you're not wanting to see an orca?

Fuck, I want to ride one if they're not going to at least see one.

I want to brush his teeth with a fucking giant toothbrush.

I want to do all that shit.

And if I can't, well, then fuck you.

You're not getting my money.

Yeah, that's not even behind the scenes.

You can do that

novelty size toothbrush

uh but she wanted to go so i was like okay cool we went it was very lightly attended they have bleachers like style seating in the uh

for the shows you know like they have a sea lion show the client and seymour show so they have bleacher style seating so every other row you can't go in you know that one's blocked off for social distancing inside the rows you have to be six feet away from the next party party that you're not with, you know.

And then when you leave, and I'm talking to a couple hundred people, it's like, okay, this section.

Now this section.

So it's more of a process.

And you're like, all right, they really have this shit down until Sage wanted to go on the roller coasters.

And I don't think you could get like sardines closer in a can than these fucking people were.

You know, she gets, she goes on the special line, you know, because of the special needs stuff.

I mean, we got to exploit it, right?

That and

getting on the plane first.

Those are the two things that I'm like, come on, I've done enough for you.

Now you're going to do something for me.

I mean, early on in TSD, remember, remember there was a, we had floated the idea that, you know, special needs persons can get jobs at parks and you could like

take one around with you, get to the front of the lines.

Remember, that was one of the

jokes that we talked about.

Now, I don't recall.

There's,

it's been a while since I was at SeaWorld.

There's roller coasters at SeaWorld.

Oh, yeah.

I think that they were like, look, we don't have any workers now.

People have retired the toothbrushing.

Yeah, once the toothbrush went, a lot of the customers went.

So I think they were just like, look, we have to, if we want to compete with other theme parks, we've got to put some exciting shit in here.

It can't just be just all animals.

Why, I don't know, because that's what a zoo is.

You don't see like a roller coaster in the Bronx Zoo, but I guess people demanded more down there.

so we went we went there and then we tried to go to Disney Springs the like downtown Disney yeah

you know we're gonna go down there and get something to eat

and if you're not familiar with it it's like just rest it's tourist it's total tourist trap restaurants and places to buy shit we were there 15 minutes and I was like I gotta get the fuck out of here There were so many people.

Like, I couldn't believe on a whatever day it was, like a Sunday night, how many people were there

So we just fucking took off we just left and the Were they all were they were they just were they wearing masks or it was like who's got it down around their fucking neck?

No, they're hardcore down there like

any of the yeah, like when you walked into SeaWorld they had like an like some kind of thing that measured your temperature not the what person single like one by one but like this gun that was sort of pointed at you

And same with Disney Springs.

You had to go through security and a place to

get your temperature red.

And mask everywhere.

Even when we checked into the hotel, they're like, and it's like, there's grounds there.

It's not like a comfort inn or a Hyatt or something like that.

It's like spread out.

There were like condos almost.

So when I'm talking to the guy checking in, he's like, and you know, and we ask that you wear a mask around the grounds.

And I'm like,

No.

No.

I mean, I say this to him, but I'm looking around.

Nobody's wearing a mask.

It's like it's outdoors.

There's nobody else around.

And I'm like, that's when these private institutions are like asking too much of you, you know?

Where it's like, look, there's, I don't know that there's concrete evidence that masks prevent it because everybody's constantly arguing whether they do or don't.

I think they probably do.

But outdoors, I mean, come on.

Like, I have seen no evidence that this thing can fly through the air from like unspecified sources and just get to you.

It's even too many.

I haven't seen evidence that I can't, I guess.

Have you seen any evidence at all about anything?

I haven't gotten it.

Or maybe I have.

I think we all thought we had it early on, right?

Anyway, very early on.

Well, the Impractical Joker's cruise.

Yeah, it was like, fucking, you and I came off there not feeling too great.

Yeah.

So I feel yeah.

But, you know, neither here nor that.

But if I was a giant corporation and I was like, look, man, like, you know how litigious everybody is?

I would be like, where fucking Master Don't come in.

Like, it's not about, like, they're not doing it for safety.

They're doing it so they don't get screamed at on social media and so they don't get sued in the court of law.

But you, you don't have to wear one at the pool.

So it's like, okay.

It would be impossible, right?

I mean, yeah, definitely.

That's why I'm like, why don't we?

So they could drown wearing a mask, you know, like if you

had a little kid, had a mask on.

That's what I should have done.

It went underneath the water.

I should have been like, you guys had such a hard on for us wearing masks.

I put my kid in the pool with a mask on.

Now look at her.

Give me a million dollars.

Yeah.

So when we first got there, though, talk about being litigious.

I am tired.

This is the second time I've gone to a car rental agency, and I get in the car, and there are dirty masks in it.

Now, these motherfuckers, it's thrifty and dollar this time.

It's like, I think they're the same corporation.

Get into the goddamn car, and it's it's like that says to me it hasn't been sanitized not at all right

and so i i there's no other suvs like little suv hybrids or whatever right there so i'm like you know what just fucking kick the thing out kick it out onto the ground and then we're driving and i see another one it's like stuffed up into the driver's side uh

visor you know and so i i i tweeted um thrifty and not and this is not for me to like i don't tweet shit to like get special treatment I don't care.

I want them to fucking be exposed and for people to know, like, hey, man, call these fucking cocksuckers out on this shit.

Because I get it, you're in Orlando.

A lot of those cars turn over very quickly.

But if you're going to just fucking give unsanitized cars to people with fucking dirty masks in them, no less, like, sorry, you're not going to buy my silence with fucking 40 bucks.

First, they didn't even offer me anything.

They like, I DM'd them.

I'm like, here's what happened.

They wrote back and they're like, hey, you can return the car and get a new one.

I'm like, oh, how convenient.

I wrote back, you know, how convenient.

Well, I'm on my vacation.

All I have to do is now go and find a thrifty dollar location to find what?

Another unsanitized car?

You know?

Yeah.

So I said, wow, thanks a lot for nothing.

I was like, I was like, not even the pathetic offer of like a discount on a further rental.

And that's when they were like, oh, we'll give you some money back.

And I didn't answer.

And then they gave me money back anyway.

It was like 40 bucks or something.

But I was them and Hertz the last time I went to Hertz.

Same thing.

Dirty mask in the car.

And some fucking, somebody on Twitter was like, well, maybe they put the mask in there, you know, for your convenience.

And I'm like, it is decidedly inconvenient to have one mask on the floor and another, not even in a plastic bag, just loose, up tucked in a fucking visor.

It's like finding band-aids with fucking blood on them.

You know?

Yeah, it's gross.

It's fucking nasty.

It's nasty ass shit.

But what are you going to do?

The place tried to get me to go to one of those things where you buy a timeshare, too.

No.

No, no.

It was like a $500 Visa gift card or something else, like a couple nights somewhere in a real time.

My mother will go to those sometimes for like a free

week in a...

in a timeshare or something like that.

I don't think she's done it in a few years, but she definitely did it

while I was on TV because I remember being like, Ma, like, how much does it cost for the fucking timeshare for a week?

I was like, I'll give you the fucking money.

Like, what are you going?

You're going to drag dad to a fucking four-hour event that they're going to try and sell you guys shit?

It's like, it makes no sense.

I never understood those.

And it's not going to be a soft sell.

No, I'm not going to take it out of there.

Trying to think what else happened.

Oh, Sage.

A couple of things happened with Sage.

these are the kind of things.

Walt, I don't know, you have daughters.

I don't know if you've dealt with shit like this, but

I'm tired of seeing teenage boobs.

And I never thought I'd say that sentence.

But every time, like, we go to a pool or something, this kid,

her boobs are popping out of her bathing suit, and her bathing suit fits.

But I look over at one point, and she's like in the water jumping around.

And I'm like, she's totally topless.

I'm like, Mary Beth, can you please

do that?

Are you buying her bikinis?

No, no, it's a one-piece.

That's a thing.

It's coming down off her, it's a thing.

She wouldn't get in a bikini.

It's coming down off her shoulder.

I had to take away all those accolades.

I'm like,

why are you buying her bikinis?

Looks like she's going to a rap video.

Yeah, I'm like, I don't know what to do, man.

I don't know what to do about this girl stuff.

Like, did you have a hard time with it?

Or does your wife just handle it totally and utterly?

Well, first off, I mean,

we're very, like,

there is just no chance on the planet that anybody's walking around the house.

Anybody.

I mean, we try to keep the the dogs in sweaters on the same time.

We're very, like,

we're kind of prudish.

We don't

there's little or no chance that anybody's going to walk into a room and see any kind of skin or anything.

It's just,

we're all fashioned like that.

Yeah.

Yeah.

It's a little more modern here, too much to my dismay.

Then she comes running out in like a sports brawn underwear.

I'm like, Sage,

like, get dressed, man.

This isn't a goddamn sorority house.

Like, come on.

Jesus.

Oh, man.

These are problems I'll never have to deal with.

Never.

You're lucky, man.

You're lucky.

I read this article.

This could be.

I'm curious to see if you guys think this is real.

This is

a story I read in the post, and it's about COVID.

It says COVID-19 could cause erectile dysfunction.

It's saying with the pen.

Well, there is a litany of fucking

effects that COVID has been attributed to since COVID, you know, became,

you know, hit the world, but like there is like, the list is endless of all the things that COVID can cause.

I am not surprised that it can cause

a flaccid pecker.

I know.

It says,

we now know that people can have long-term health effects from this virus, neurological complications.

And now for men who are watching this, there's real concern here that men could have long-term issues of erectile dysfunction from this virus because we know it causes issues in the vasculature

and it could have long-term lifelong potential potentially uh

is this is this a lead-up to a blue chew commercial is this a segue why just because this episode is sponsored by blue chew

is blue chew stating now that they can they can uh they can alter the effects of covet on your

i'm not i don't know that's not a talking point is it that's not a talking point no Okay, I was going to say,

we should not go on record as saying, like,

I'm not saying you have COVID and you're a dude,

order a lifetime supply of fucking blue chew.

Yeah, because you're going to need it.

You're fucked in the wrong way.

No, it's definitely not a magic bullet.

But hey, if you're having erectile dysfunction and your vasculature is too small, what does this do?

It widens it up, right?

Isn't that the way it works?

So you can.

Girth.

What's that?

Girth, right?

Girth.

oh girls love girth a lot of them will say gals love girth yeah length don't they

want to make that into a sticker

the gals like the girth girth i've heard that like girth within sessions where they're like i like girth better

uh let's see you can covet take anything more though than i mean could covet do any i mean it's like what else you you're taking all You're taking all our seniors, and now you're going to take our erections?

I know.

I'm locked up for 14 days without an erection.

You know, I mean,

if Trump wants to change the whole trajectory of his legacy, how he's like kind of just ignoring like the United States right now and the end of his, he should hold his final press conference.

He should just come out and be like, look, I lost the election and I'm going.

But I'm telling you this, if you catch COVID, you may lose your boner.

So, gentlemen, I need you to wear masks, everybody's social distance, da-da-da.

And I think a lot of people would be like, holy shit, we got to listen to this guy.

And

go out on a high note, man.

You know, save the boners of America.

You're right.

Do you think?

Go ahead, Brian.

I was going to say, Trump definitely seems to have a fuck all y'all attitude recently.

But I think early on, though, if we had known, you know, if the male population had known this was a possibility, it may have changed the way a lot of dudes, you know, handled this with the mask situation.

If you had, if they had come out and, you know, even if it wasn't true, if they had just said, you know, you know, if you don't wear a mask, you might never get a boner again,

I think it would have made a hell of a lot of difference.

So, yeah, people would be mad.

They lie about other shit.

Why not just lie about that?

Yeah.

I mean, yeah, they lie about nearly everything, it would appear.

So just be like, hey, yeah, wear a mask.

You don't get a boner.

You got half the population being like, I got to wear a mask.

Yeah.

And the other half probably like poking holes in the masks.

There would be like a bar in the deep south and deep, deep Trump country with like Confederate flags waving outside and shit like that and like Trump 2020s flags waving and shit like that.

And like they would all be wearing masks.

They would all be wearing masks.

Because there's nothing more important to a man than

a firm working erection, I think.

I think it's the most important thing.

Then who knows that better than Blue Chew?

That's why they got into the whole business.

It's kind of embarrassing.

Like, I mean, I'm assuming that this company was started by men.

Like, and somebody's like, hey, why are you starting a boner pill business?

Oh, no reason.

You know, probably, you know, they suffered from it as well.

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Everybody's felt that way.

They're like, I could use a little bit more confidence just in the moment.

You might not need it, but psychologically, you're there.

And do you think, do you guys agree that that confidence

carries carries further than in the bedroom?

Like, so like you go to work, are you a little bit more confident in your work?

Are you a little bit more confident?

Like,

are you an elementary school teacher?

Because then you're not confident at all.

Then you're in trouble.

No, no, I'm just saying, like,

do you think that part you parlay that into other aspects of your life?

Does the confidence carry over?

I don't know.

I believe so.

I think so.

That's all it takes.

What's it?

That's all it takes.

I mean, it's just, okay, I got a firm erection.

Now, fucking, there's no stopping me.

Well, no, I don't think it's like that.

I'm unstoppable.

It might be something, like, look, man, how would you feel like if

you had a zesty lovemaking session with your lady of choice or man of your choice, whatever you're going for, and she turns to you and goes, holy shit, like, that fucking knocked my socks off.

Like, you really, you really made it happen that time.

I've never felt anything like that before.

You would fucking wake up the next day thinking about that, feeling pretty good about yourself, wouldn't you?

Oh, yeah.

Yeah, but would it parlay into other aspects of your life, though?

It's not going to make me draw any better.

No,

but it may lift your spirits.

It may lift your spirits and get some more endorphins going because you're like, wow, man, I fucking slayed it in bed last night.

And like the next morning, you get up and you're feeling a little better.

So like maybe you're like more inclined, like maybe you're more excited to draw like you're not going to be a better artist right yeah but but just the uh you know that false confidence that's carrying over from the night before

could be a dead boom

sometimes false confidence is all you got bro oh

yeah it's not or nothing at all at times

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All right.

There you go.

Now, I promised you guys something.

Conversation.

Oh, before I tell you that, though, it was pretty funny.

We were one evening,

Sage was in the pool, and Mary Beth and I like to have this hot tub, which is really cool because if you're in the hot tub, nobody else can get in with you.

It's like just you and and your party.

So you're not in with a bunch of strangers, which is weird.

So we're sitting in the hot tub,

and

all of a sudden, I feel something on my neck.

I don't know what it is.

Like we're sitting there next to each other, and I'm just like, ah, and I fall face first into the water.

I thought I got bit by something.

Oh, that caterpillar fucking coming back for you, bitch.

We're eating a caterpillar.

Yeah.

But I just like, I didn't jump, I sort of just fell forward because I'm like, if it's sticking on my neck, this I thought it might have been a bat, you know, like maybe a little fruit bat.

I'm not sure if they're indigenous to Orlando or not.

Are you?

Are you is this hot tub in the middle of the Everglades?

I mean, or is it on the fucking on the hotel grounds?

Yeah, it wasn't so much a hot tub as a hot springs that we found.

But so I

go underwater and I'm like going this to my neck.

And I come back up and Mary Beth is like,

she's like, you could tell in her eyes, she's like about to cry.

And I'm like, what is wrong?

She's like, she's like, I thought your knee gave out and you were drowning.

I was like.

I thought the marriage was over.

I thought I was a widow.

She's already.

She did nothing to help.

She just thought it girl.

No, nothing to help.

Except tell me, like, I didn't see anything.

And I'm like, I'm telling you, something was on the back of my neck.

A bat.

A bat flew into my neck.

Likely a bat.

She says maybe one of these acorns that were falling down from the trees.

But holy shit, in that moment, man, I was like, oh, my God, I'm going to get fucking rabies or something.

Cause it felt like a sting or something like that.

I was like, great.

Like something tropical, you know?

But

her lack of

effort to help fish me out.

It's like, so if my knee's given out and I get like

it's dislocated or something, you're not going to fucking help help me.

You're just going to watch me flail about, which is what it looked like I was doing because I'm doing this.

I'm beating the back of my neck trying to get this bat off.

That is not a good

precursor of things to come because you're only going to get worse as you get older.

You're going to need her help more and more and more.

And if that is an indication of how she is going to fucking step up to the plate,

you're fucked.

I'm on the floor in the kitchen.

I'm just like, Mary Birds, I've dialed nine and one.

Can you finish it for me?

You better send her for some fucking EMS course or something, like a life-saving course.

You can expect to be sitting in your old waist for weeks.

Oh, I'm one of those people that you read about in the paper.

Yeah,

you're probably right.

I'm all emaciated with bed suits and shit.

A simple call.

Very Beth.

I think a bat bit me.

No, no, you're just covered in shit.

And you have pre-senile dementia.

Like, well, thanks for listening all those things, but

I smell like shit here.

I mean,

I better be nice to her, man, because she really would have the opportunity to do that.

Probably in less than 20 years.

I was thinking about that today.

I was like, I'm going to see the day when Brian Quinn turns 50.

I was like, for some reason, that's weirder to me than when I turn 50.

Because

you were such a kid when we met, you know?

Yeah, I was 19.

It's crazy.

Fresh face.

How many years to that milestone?

Well, in March, I'll be 45.

All right, so we're talking about five and a half years.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Have to have a do you feel any different than 45, than 50, though?

I certainly don't.

Oh, I do.

Think about me at 45.

Well,

I think you've improved since then.

Oh, yeah, I felt much worse at 45

than I do now.

Okay, yeah.

So, yeah, you would definitely be

a nice example for Q to look at and be like, okay, you can definitely, not that he has to improve anything, but like, it can go up.

You know, it doesn't have to just go downhill.

Yeah, if somebody can help back from a major drug addiction,

there's hope for you.

The trajectory of my life has been it's gotten better as I've gotten older.

So if that keeps, that'd be pretty good.

I mean, not physically, but I mean, mentally and just situational, it just keeps getting better in terms of things.

So hopefully.

It's the way it's supposed to go.

I got to start fucking working out.

I mean, I got to start lifting something eventually.

You know, these fucking bitch tits are only going to get bigger and bigger.

Tell me about it, man.

Ever since I got married, I fucking have put on like almost 20 pounds because, like,

we don't do anything.

And I really, like, I stopped doing the program, the Weight Watchers program, was sitting around watching movies and eating shit food.

And I'm like, God damn it.

So today I went back on.

Today was the day.

I'm like, all right, I'll lose out again.

Oh, nice, man.

That's good.

Yeah.

What are you going to do?

Making all the right fucking decisions, bro.

Oh, come on.

You're a fucking example.

You're a fucking role model.

Except for going to Orlando.

That one was questionable.

Let's overlook that.

Nobody's perfect.

But so we leave SeaWorld

and we stop at 7-Eleven or something.

Mary Beth goes inside and Sage is just sitting there and she says, I like my new aunt.

And that's what she used to call Suzanne.

And I said, oh, of course you do.

I mean, she never calls her her aunt.

She calls her Rosie because her name's Marybeth Rose, so she calls her Rosie.

And I was like, okay, that's good.

And she's like,

she said something about, I don't have an old aunt anymore, now I have a new aunt.

And I said, yeah, that's true.

And I said, do you know what happened?

You know, because I'm like, I didn't want her to think she just abandoned her or whatever.

And she goes, you shoot her.

I said, wait, what?

And she goes, you shoot her.

I said, you think I shot her?

She wasn't saying like shoe, like shoot fly.

I said, you, you think I killed her?

And she goes, yeah.

Like it was nothing.

Johnson, a Johnson through and through.

That is a ride or die bitch, man.

I was like, holy shit.

I think the listeners, just like myself right now,

are having to fuck their jaws back in place because it's a gape.

That is fucked up.

They're not the only ones.

Imagine that.

That is fucked up.

That's what Mary Beth said.

I told her.

I was like, you're not going to believe the conversation I just had.

And then I said, whoa, whoa, whoa.

I said, who told you that?

She goes, nobody.

I said, no, no.

I said, she moved.

I said, she wanted to move, and it's far away.

So that's why you don't see her anymore.

I was like, I didn't shoot anybody.

Don't say that shit.

I mean, there were plenty of time, like you're rambling.

You're like, there's plenty of times I fucking wanted to shoot her.

Oh, yeah.

No doubt.

But like, in her mind, for years now,

she thought that I just shot her, and that was the the end of it.

And then Mary Beth is like, well, what does she think you're going to do with me?

I don't know.

I guess shoot you too.

Yeah, like she's, she likes Aunt Rosie so much that she,

but she's willing to keep her in a situation where at any point, dada could shoot her to get rid of her.

Yeah, that's pretty crazy.

She has a very like, she'll say it a lot.

First off, she'll say,

Dada, best friends forever, right?

No less, and I'm not exaggerating, no less than 12 to 15 times a day.

She'll always say, dada, dada, you and me, right?

You and me.

Because I think, like, for her, like, females have not been very like strong role models in her life, nor have males, really, except for me.

Like, the only person that's been around the entire time from beginning to end was me.

So I think, you know, that's where that, like, you and me, like where a team comes in.

And maybe when she's willing to keep quiet about a possible murder.

dad, dad, if you ever need a body buried, you and me.

You and me.

I know, right?

You guys may come to me.

I'm like, no, I'm too old.

Go to Sage now.

But I was like,

do I bring her to see someone?

Because that's like, it's pretty fucked up.

But does she have a concept of what, like, does she have a real concept of what that means and

everything?

I don't know.

I don't know how much she

understands death in its final form.

She will say, she'll be like, my dad died.

She'll say that sometimes.

And that's why she doesn't see him anymore.

I don't think she has any concept of death for herself,

that kind of shit.

Yeah, so then what's a therapist going to do?

Teach her what death means and then that you didn't cause it?

Yeah, but I mean, to be that

laissez-faire about something like that.

Haven't Haven't we all been laissez-faire about somebody's death at some point?

Because if you're, if you're like, say, like, you had a, a, a niece and you're, you didn't have a girlfriend and she's not Downs, just regular, just

regular normal niece, and she's like, oh, I always thought that you shot and killed your former girlfriend.

You'd be like, wait, whoa, whoa.

Yeah,

that would be weird.

So

I would just, my concern would be like, you're not telling people that, are you?

Right.

Well, I said, who told you that?

She's like, nobody.

So it's like she just came up with it on her own because I guess she sort of disappeared in a way.

And then she never saw her again.

Yeah, I don't know.

Oh, she saw something on TV or something.

Well, she does see, I'm sure she sees shootings and shit on TV and videos and that kind of crap.

I mean, she watches all that Chucky stuff.

You know, she's real into Brida Chucky and Annabelle and all that.

I'm trying to think if my niece told me she thinks I killed one of my my exes.

I mean, you can't really compare it because

it's such a fucking insane mindset.

Like, for someone who understands all the factors to have about their uncle and then still be like, I'm going to go to Disney World with you.

I would be like, yeah, we got to get this kid in therapy because that is fucked up.

But I don't think

in the sage's

situation, I don't know.

I wouldn't bother with therapy.

Yeah, I mean, because it's not like she's running around like trying to kill friends or the cats or anything like that.

It's just like in her mind, it's like, oh, I just I guess you just got rid of her.

Yeah, but

but what do I know about kids?

I I don't know.

Walt, what do you think?

Uh yeah, I think she it sounds like Sage has a very um active imagination.

Oh boy.

So I I I would put I would chalk this up to

just a kid being a kid and having a very uh active imagination and I would not overreact to something like that and put her into therapy and stuff, you know, because who knows, man, I want to put her on some sort of fucking drugs as they're apt to do.

You know, everything is solved with a drug.

I would be so

helpful there, partner.

Yeah, so that was the sort of a mind-blowing conversation.

Giddam's back looking at the fucking screen.

So that was sort of a mind-blowing conversation I had with her.

I don't know what that was.

Yeah, that's an intense conversation.

Yeah, I would be

that would definitely

stun me.

But again,

I would not overreact to it and not be like, you know, like, oh, she needs this or she needs that, man.

She does ask a lot, though, like, if she comes downstairs in the morning and like Mary Beth has gone shopping or whatever, she'll immediately be like, where's my bestie?

Now I'm thinking, like, does she think I offer too?

You didn't shoot her, did you?

Well,

yeah.

What Mary Beth, what I should do is get an insurance policy on Mary Beth, and I'll tell you who I'd go to.

You want to know?

Policy genius.

Damn straight.

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Policy genius, when it comes to insurance, it's nice to get it right.

I wanted to get your opinion on something involving Ming Chen.

Okay.

That guy, he's on Instagram a lot supporting other beer companies.

I mean, a lot.

Like, he's always holding up someone's beer and fucking saying how great it is, and blah, blah, blah.

I'm getting to the point where I think that I need to either start promoting other podcast studios or open my own own podcast studio to fucking compete with him.

Yeah, like, what am I to make of it?

Because I love Ming.

I've never had anything but affection and respect for Ming.

You know, I genuinely like him.

I consider him a dear friend.

Am I picking this up by the wrong handle?

Am I looking at it the wrong way?

Well, there's a third option you haven't mentioned, though.

Put him on retainer.

And

I have him pay him to only talk about your beer yeah but he's my friend this is business but he's getting paid to talk about that other beer though i don't know that he is i i don't know

what's that's what i'm

if look no if he was getting paid all's fair man the business is business i that i i i would 100 i would support that i would give it to him but let me just read you this from ming chen

I don't think he does it for free, though.

I bet you they're doing something for his studio, though.

Giving him something.

I could be wrong, of course.

But

I think they're doing something like giving him something, a kickback of some sort.

Oh, I don't think so.

I think they're just sending him a six-pack because here he is holding up this beer going, big thanks to our friend Chad for sending this in from blah, blah, blah.

This is a stout that is brewed with freshly baked moon pies, and it was great.

Like, he's not, I mean, you have to say, like, there's rules.

You have to say that it's an ad if you're doing an ad or something like that.

Right.

Like a paid promotion.

You have to do hashtag ad if you get paid to do something.

Okay.

By who?

By the biggest.

By anybody.

Like, like, that's why if you see, like, celebrities now doing, like, if you go to, like, I don't know who's doing anything.

Well, I know that the few times we've gotten a few bucks to do something like that, if you're not promoting your own products or stuff like that, you have to,

you have to be like,

look, even like here's Gal Godot, Wonder Woman, right?

And she works for Revlon, and she's a model for Revlon, and every post

she ends it with hashtag ad.

And we've had to do that.

I've only gotten paid to promote something twice.

And we've, they very specifically was like, you have to put hashtag ad at the end.

Is that a Twitter rule, or is that like some sort of now ethic rule that, I mean, I can't imagine, it has to be like the

platforms rule, right?

Right, the platform that he's on.

Yeah, like Instagram or Twitter, right?

He has things that are demanding if this is an ad.

But

who would investigate that, though?

Well, all right, let's just cut.

Is it worth $100 a year for R ⁇ H to just put him on as the, like,

as a sponsor?

$100 a year?

He gets more in free six-packs.

All right.

All right.

I just throw that out.

What does he need?

What does he need?

How much?

How much do I got to give him?

$250?

$2.50 a year to only talk about your beer?

Well, he has personal relationships with some of the guys, like the Red Bank place.

I can't remember the name.

But he has a personal relationship with Q, though, too.

Yeah, I mean, long personal relationships.

That's what I'm saying, though.

For him, I think it would be easier to not talk about new stuff, like new beer that people are sending him rather than old stuff.

Because he would have to go, that's that would be an awkward conversation for him, maybe going back to the guy and being like, hey, I can't really promote your beer anymore because Q has me on retainer for $250.

Right.

Well, again, like, if he does a beer podcast with a beer company like in Red Bank and stuff like that, I don't have a problem.

Like, whatever, man.

Like, you know what I mean?

Like, that's what I'm saying.

Business is business.

If they're paying to use the podcast studio and shit,

you know, so be it.

But it's like, it just seemed like he really enjoyed this beer.

This guy had put it up.

And I'm like, I don't know, man.

I don't know what to make of it.

I don't know if I should be bothered to be.

I mean, I know the answer is I shouldn't be bothered to be upset about anything.

But

do you think it would sell more units for you if he was pimping it?

I do.

You do.

Okay.

Well, then, okay.

Then there's a value to Ming Chen, then.

And, you know, business is business.

Friends have to take a back seat to business.

And

so, I mean,

if you were to be like, I don't know, like,

I bet you he would throw you a few comps.

If you asked him, they'll, hey, could you throw a couple posts about RH?

See how the reaction is?

See what the value to those posts are, and then maybe come to an agreement then.

All right, fair.

You know what?

I think you're right.

I think I was thinking about this on a personal level, and I shouldn't be.

I shouldn't be.

I had an experience with Ming Chen once where, like, I could, like, there aren't many times I can be like, oh, this, like, this was sort of hurtful.

But back when I was going through all that shit with Suzanne, and, like, there was a guy who was trying to, like, he was on set, and he was trying to make an end run around me to, like, get to her.

Even though I had been, like, oh, I remember who this was.

Yeah.

Yeah.

And I was like, at first, I was like, dude, can you not, like, I'm having enough issues without you being her friend to talk to, you know, because that's how it was presented.

Then I saw a Facebook post or something or a Facebook message that sort of

betrayed that whole thing.

And

I didn't want this guy around.

I didn't want him like at our cons.

I didn't want him backstage and shit.

And Ming was totally aware of this and then had him come to a con and do something tech-wise.

And like when he sees him, he's like, aye, you know, like the big hug and shit.

And I was like, this motherfucker has no allegiance whatsoever.

Like,

I wasn't asking him to cut the guy off totally, but at least don't invite him to an event that I'm at to do tech for us.

You know what I mean?

Yeah.

Also, by the way, he was trying to fuck your girlfriend.

Cut him off entirely.

Right, yeah.

Like, by the way, yeah.

Yeah, like if somebody was trying to bang Debbie Chen, I can't tell you.

Like, I would go out of my way to confront the guy.

Yeah.

Yeah.

I don't know.

All right.

But that's more of a personal thing.

It's a personal thing.

But then Ming's given up that hug.

He's given up that hug.

Yeah.

She's given up that hug.

And

we have seen those hugs are fucking like drugs.

Yeah, they're valuable.

Well, in a post-COVID world, I don't know how many hugs he's going to get anymore.

So maybe he'll learn a lesson.

So what I put on his Instagram post,

I posted on it

underneath.

I did a comment, which I never ever do.

And I put, so am I being a catty bitch, Walt?

Because I just wrote, look for my post regarding competing podcast studios soon.

Yeah,

that's throwing a gauntlet down.

That's

yeah, you went nuclear on that one because you, yeah, like I said, you know, that one is,

yeah,

that one says Q is not happy.

Yeah, it definitely does.

Oh, I mean, in reality.

You can't write LOL or anything or a happy

Rolf or whatever?

No, I'm going to war.

I mean, look, at the end of the day,

I don't really care, and I did it just so we could talk about it on this show.

But

like, it doesn't matter to me at all.

But, uh, but you think I should take that down?

You think that people won't see that?

I mean, there's always going to be a segment of people online who automatically jump to like, oh, shit, you know, and like drama, caddy, and

that kind of drama.

Right.

I've already alerted TMZ.

I don't know if you're talking.

All right.

So I'm going to take it down.

So I'm going to take that down then.

I'm going to leave it up.

Fuck it.

It's forever.

People saw it anyway already.

I mean, how old is he?

He could take it down.

He could take it down if he wants.

And not only that,

I've seen Q on Instagram and he's promoting like crazy.

He's in Christmas sweaters.

He's wearing antlers and shit like a reindeer.

He's also wearing antlers.

I don't know.

I saw some stuff.

Oh, wait, Q, I got a great idea, though.

Oh, what do you got?

I got a great idea.

Like a business

relationship with Ming that I think would work out for both you guys.

You agree to do five spots for shared universe, and he agrees to do,

since you're bigger than he is,

he agrees to do 25 spots for RH.

What do you think?

You got to sell it, though.

You got to dance for it.

Oof.

Those Those five spots.

Man.

What are the spots?

Like a soft spot.

You got to do a Twitter video where you just rave about the studio, where it's your place to go to.

It's like when you want fucking the security and the peace of mind about your podcast and your voice is important,

you go to Sheriff Universe.

You do five of those.

How much are you doing?

At a 30-minute infomercial on YouTube.

All right, how about this?

How about this?

Let's negotiate.

All right.

Ming will

do

20,

we'll do 20 posts about RH.

Over the course of a year.

Okay, over the course of the year, right.

Over the course of whatever.

Yeah, okay.

Right.

And

he can't promote any other beer.

Right.

And I will legitimately,

at some point when the pandemic's kind of wrapped up, go to

Shared Universe and do a half-hour infomercial for him.

Whoa, he would take that in a heartbeat.

Yeah.

Oh, yeah, yeah.

All right.

Balls in your court, man.

That'll be amazing.

Like, you'll have to get guests to come in and they'll give their,

what's that called?

The

testimonials and shit.

Yeah.

Yeah.

And then you have to talk to them all seriously.

Yeah.

So tell us what it was like

20 spots to move to move some beer.

20 spots, exclusive deal.

Ming Chen's locked up to an exclusive deal.

Yeah, I mean,

if he has podcast customers that are, like, if like the Red Bank Ale or whatever it's called, has a show with him, I don't expect him to drop that.

Like, I'm not being unreasonable about it.

But any Tom, Dick, and Harry can't just send him a fucking six-pack and expect to get blown on Ming's Instagram.

But he does.

That's the thing is like, if you if you look at that feed, it's like they gave me a cup of coffee.

Like he's a fucking blind man or something.

Yeah.

Like so appreciative for a slice of pizza, a cup of coffee, that he will post it.

And I mean, I guess it's a nice thing in a way because it sort of like brings attention.

But realistically, like.

It's only people who live in that area who are going to go to that place, possibly to get a cup of coffee.

And then how many of them fucking follow Ming?

And why would people even like it on Instagram?

I don't understand that shit.

I don't know.

Pictures of people.

I don't know.

I'm bad at it.

I mean, for all your fucking talk of me and Antlers and shit like that, like, I'm not good.

I'm not good at promoting.

Like, Cara and

Helen and everybody that's kind of running the beer company for me is always like, you got to do this, you got to do that, you got to do that.

And I don't do it because I feel

if it doesn't feel organic,

I'm not good at it.

I'm just not good at promoting.

Dexter yells at me every week, why aren't you posting about Misery Index and shit like that?

I'm not good at it.

I hate that feeling of like

pay attention to me.

Yeah, I know.

It's not a good thing for a business, man.

It's not a good thing.

I should be doing the opposite, but I have a hard time doing it.

Can you get some like get some hotties?

I could just dress up Helen and she can promote it on your Instagram feed.

Yeah, I could do that.

I was thinking of like doing like a

like a lot, like a bunch of RH commercials, but made in the style of different decades.

So I would watch a bunch of beer commercials from the 50s, 60s, 70s, and 80s and

emulate them in some form.

But all that was just a smokescreen just to get to the 80s, where I could have like fucking girls running around a pool in bikinis.

And like, you know, you know, remember Spud McKenzie was always, hey, this waltz holding one up.

Thanks, Spud.

You know, and it was all a smokescreen for that because I feel like it would be, remember when you used to walk into a supermarket and there Kathy Ireland would be a giant cardboard cut out of her in a bikini, standing next to some fucking Bud Light, and you'd be like, mm-mm, I need to get me some Bud Light.

You can't do that anymore.

Right.

Yeah, but Q, you are your company's Kathy Ireland, though.

There are so many IJ

ladies who

are buying that beer because of that fucking cheesecake or beefcake.

They want to get wasted on his beer so that, you know, they're in the right mood.

So you got you got to lose that awkwardness and you just got to go jump in with both feet and be that fucking be that model spokesman.

I guess, but I'd rather have the girls in bikinis doing it.

Well, what if, like, aren't there like, wouldn't it be great?

Like,

I mean, you just can't do it anymore.

I was going to say, wouldn't it be great if 13%ers started taking fucking shots of themselves in bikinis with the cans and shit?

And then I could repost that and be like, oh, look at this person from fucking Milwaukee sent me.

It's fucking the, you know, it's like an 80s style fucking beer ad.

Does Sage still have that bikini, bro?

It's like

she's jumping up out of a pool with the beer.

It's like there's a black bar across her.

I don't know what it's going everywhere.

But I was like, I can't even do that.

Like, I don't think there's any fun to, like, there's no more fun to be had like that anymore.

You can't really do that anymore.

You can't do that, huh?

You can't have 13%ers send in pictures.

What about beefcake 87%ers?

What about the beefcake guys?

Beefcake is still in.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Still in.

All right.

So, I mean,

if any TESD listeners at all of any gender want to get,

you know, used.

This feels like busted nuts on Puck Nuts.

I was just thinking of it.

It's not a good idea.

It just sucks.

It's an awful idea.

That's a terrible idea.

Your shock and horror when we introduced you to the busted nuts

of Buck Nuts Cube?

Yes.

That's right.

Explaining that to all your people, all your people on the RH side.

Hey, I got this idea.

Hey, you want to know a little factoid?

I don't recall it, but Mary Beth said she sent in

a photo of herself in a hockey jersey for Busted Nuts.

I'm going to have to go back to our files, check that shit out.

Yeah.

Well, let me ask you something.

If I reached out to Mary Beth and was like, look, I want to pay to do ads on TelemSteve Dave for RH, but the kicker is

you have to be the spokesman.

You have to redo your busted nuts photo with an RH t-shirt

and use that.

How does she feel about that?

Oh, she would do it.

Yeah.

Oh, yeah.

Yeah, definitely.

And that's

fine.

I mean, you can't stop all female modeling, right?

No, just the exploitive type though.

It's not your free work, though.

It's not your free show.

Yeah, but anybody who listens to this show knows I just want to get to the 80s type advertising because I think it's fun and I think it'll sell.

And, you know, frankly, I respond to it.

So I don't know that I would fly as a joke to a listening base that has heard me for 10 years and knows what I'm really about.

They weren't even born in the 80s.

Yeah.

Yeah.

But do you think that I you think I could do that thing where, like, if I start slow, Walt, and I make a commercial from the 50s and the 60s and the 70s and the 80s and the 90s and then people would just be like, oh, that's pretty funny.

He did that.

It's a parody.

Yes.

You're taking a shot at how ridiculous it is and how outdated it is and you're making fun of

that.

And you frame it in a light where you're like, look how ridiculous this was back then.

Right.

Yeah.

What's Chuck doing?

Is Chuck around?

Can I get Chuck on the phone?

Yeah.

He'd be good at stuff like that.

He would jump at that chance to do

those spots.

All right.

And he'd be good at it, too.

Yeah, he would, right?

He's still good at it.

Hey, here's Chuck.

She's a model.

Let's throw her in there, too.

Yeah, this gal's pretty cute, too.

That'd be all right.

Get her into the camera, Chuck.

You heard it.

Come on, Chuck.

You're going to quit fucking around.

You want this job?

Yeah, this is why I'm bad at all this stuff, but I'm trying.

I am trying.

Boys, I'm going to talk about a new sponsor here called Green Chef.

Green Chef.

Oh, I got this in the mail the other night.

All refrigerated, right?

Yeah.

Dry ice?

Yeah.

Dry ice is a fucking sign of high quality, I think.

Yeah.

They send like lobsters and dry ice.

They send perishables.

That's high-end shit if it's in dry ice.

And that's what this Green Chef is.

They're a USDA-certified organic company.

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And

one of us, I think,

Walt, did you get paleo

or I got paleo?

What were the offers again?

I got the most, the most normal

plan as possible.

Right, so you didn't get anything.

I didn't go plant.

No, I didn't go

chemo.

Keto.

Yeah, go keto.

Keto.

Chemo.

I got the one that was like, I guess the balanced one.

Right.

You know, the one that still looks like and tastes like food.

Yeah.

I don't know if I got this.

I got to ask Callen.

I don't think I got this.

Oh, you didn't get it yet?

Well, it goes easier.

Yeah, I think you got the email, though.

I know you got the email.

Yeah.

You just didn't get it.

Mary Beth made two of these things already.

She made Q, you would like this, Philly stuffed peppers.

I know Italians love them.

She made that.

And I'm not a big green pepper guy, so I didn't eat the green peppers, but the stuff inside was really good.

It has, what does it have here?

Butternut, squash, smoky peppery.

They send, it's pretty cool.

They send like little packets of stuff.

So it's like, here's the garlic powder you need.

It's in a tiny little packet.

Here are the onions you need, another tiny little packet, you know.

So you just throw it all together and then mix it up.

And next thing you know, you're making dinner.

What else she makes?

Sausage and Spanish rice skillet.

That's the other thing she made.

Again, sausage.

I don't know i'm not big into sausage but the rest of the stuff sage ate it too

and she's a picky thing so i don't know yeah i i gotta get on this but this is like a food they they send you the a fully cooked meal or it's the ingredients it's the ingredients and then you cook it and it's pretty cool i like that better because i've done both of these services over the years and i always like it better when they send the ingredients and i cook it myself i think it's just more fun that way and you know the food's a little bit fresher and shit like that and if you want to juzh it a little you know if you want like to your taste you don't have to just use the ingredients they send, you know.

It says here, recipes are quick and easy with step-by-step instructions, chef tips and photos to guide you along.

And that's true.

They have they have like an entire card with, I'll show it to you guys anyway.

Like it's like you could put a three-hole punch in it and turn it into like a recipe card.

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When's the last time?

Speaking of 80s, when's the last time you guys watched Predator?

Not too long ago.

Probably about two years ago.

I had forgotten what a fun, cheesy 80s movie that is.

It really, like, it says everything about that decade as far as action movies go.

Oh, yeah.

Like when they say hello, him and with Carl Weathers, right?

When they say hello and they do the hand slap and they start fucking there's a close-up and shit in their muscles,

gleaming muscles,

yeah.

It was a it's a fun movie, and

I don't remember anything about Predator 2, though.

Oh, I like Predator 2, and I always caught shit for that.

Danny Glover, yeah,

like huffing and puffing, running around the city, trying to fucking breathe while he chased a predator.

I always like Predator 2.

I caught shit for that over the years.

What do you think, Walt?

Predator 2?

Yay, nay.

Do you even remember?

I like Predator 2 as well.

I thought it was a decent movie.

But both movies I haven't seen in decades.

I would be just going on vapors at this point, trying to remember everything about it.

It's tough because the more shit you watch, the more shit you take in, the harder it is to really recall everything else, you know?

Like the stuff that it's like, all right, what am I going to have to think about Predator next?

And your brain just sort of kicks the little details away, you know?

You're like, I remember there's a Predator, and I remember he got killed by a log.

Speaking of predators and aliens, though, did you hear the news that came out today from Israeli

sources?

No, what's up?

That

there is, without a doubt, a 30-year veteran of Israeli special forces of some sort of like, you know, not special forces that you would normally think, but like...

dealing with space and shit says there is absolutely no doubt there are aliens.

We have communicated with them.

Trump has spoken to them, and they were going to reveal it

to the Australians or to the

world.

They were going to reveal it to the world that Trump was going to reveal it to the world that the aliens are out there, but the aliens put the kibosh on it and said that it would be too

much for the human mind to handle at this point.

And I want to wait

for them to reveal that

alien races have

been in contact with us for years.

And they think that Trump is going to restrain that information?

Apparently, he already has.

This guy has gone rogue, and he says he has nothing left to lose.

He's almost 90 years old now, and

he's just telling it like it is.

He said that

people will think he's crazy, but

there are aliens.

He said something weird, though, about how

they may not be from

aliens like we're thinking about in terms of from far distances, from galaxies.

It was a very strange, ominous thing that maybe it was interdimensional creatures

beings.

Yeah.

Why is that so much more interesting than just a regular old alien, right?

Well, other dimensions

is actually, I think, an easier pill to swallow for me than aliens from this universe because

I don't understand parallel universes and I don't understand alternate dimensions, right?

But I do understand distance and you know how far you are from the closest fucking galaxy.

Like the science to travel the distance between us and our nearest fucking star is like

it's just seems impossible to me.

But if you're telling me that there are other parallel dimensions and aliens are coming from there, then I'm like, well, I don't know the rules of that at all.

so maybe.

You know, like, how did they figure out how to do it?

This is a pretty big fucking news story that isn't really getting picked up.

Just came out today.

The news just broke today that Israeli scientists confirmed that alien life exists and has been in contact with

the whole world, with the leaders of the world for a long time now.

Well, I'm looking at the New York Post right now.

Do you want to hear some headlines that are more important than aliens traveling from another dimension?

Mystery of booming sound in New Jersey, apparently solved.

Bride to Be dies from coronavirus days after she was set to wed.

Jets reporter out at Daily News amid bizarre stalking scandal.

This is how Olivia Culpo maintains her model body.

Nothing about aliens now.

Well, I just found something right in the New York Post about it.

I just typed in Israeli aliens and it came up.

Came right up.

Well,

this guy is saying...

I don't know.

This is fucking weird because this is the former head of Israel's, of Israel's not Israeli, of Israel's space program.

He's the head.

He's the top guy.

This is huge news.

This is not no fucking, like,

some quack or some dodo.

This is definitely like scary.

You know, strap yourself in because

everything's about to change.

Shit.

Holy fuck, dude.

He helmed Israel's space security program from 81 to 2010.

That's not a small, that's not a small run.

If you don't know what's going on.

Now, I'm not sure, though.

Is Israeli space program...

I know.

Is it a telescope and a fucking

kazoo?

Oh, no.

Try to contact other life?

Don't they have a problem handling a riverbank over there?

Like, how the fuck are they going to...

I hear what you're saying.

Oof.

Yeah, that's fucked up, though.

They signed a contract with us.

Well, what contract did they sign with?

Who's the legal?

Yeah, it says they signed a contract with us.

That Israeli army's tough, though, man.

You don't want to fuck with them.

Like, they may be

scaring aliens.

Oh, hold on a second, Walt.

It does kind of go off the rails a little bit.

He goes, he claims American astronauts have already set foot on Mars.

There's an underground base in the depths of Mars where their representatives are and also American astronauts.

Okay, why does that give you doubt then, just that revelation right there?

We have gotten

vehicles and space crafts to Mars, though.

Yes, that I know.

But

I don't know, man, that seems like a lot.

But

fuck, dude, I just, I mean, I guess if I'm going to give it to the guy, then sure, why not?

Secret bases on Mars.

Do you think this is the foreshadowing for the announcement that

COVID is an alien fucking germ?

I think it's a pre-shadowing of the announcement that this guy has Alzheimer's, is what I think it's the preshadowing of.

That's mostly what I think.

Yeah, that's a rough one because you're like, wow, he has all the credentials.

And then you hear him say shit and you're like, oh, man.

Like, now you sound crazy.

You're right, though, about the vehicles getting to Mars.

You're right about it.

Yeah, but I think a lot of people are going to do what Q just did right there.

And this is not to knock Q, but a lot of people's first reaction is going to be.

He's of an age where he's probably his mind is going.

And

a lot of people will do that, but I'm not ready to go there.

I mean, this guy's fucking got all, he's legit in terms of like his past and what he's done.

For him to come out and say this now

is it just to fucking really puts all his work under a microscope and

opens him up to ridicule just like what's going to happen now.

Why would he do it?

For what reason?

Why would he tell us anyway?

Why would he tell us as well, though?

He's breaking an oath with the aliens.

Yeah, they're going to be a little bit more.

He's going to contract.

How long do you think it takes to get to Mars?

Because I just looked it up.

Years.

It's months, right?

It's like nine months or something like that.

Seven months, it says.

Yeah.

It's not that long, really.

No, not really.

I mean, I watched

Event Horizon last week, and I was just wondering, like, how could I deal with being months away from Earth

in a little spaceship that small?

And it's like, I don't think very well.

Netflix.

What's that?

Just Netflix?

Netflix and chill the whole way to Mars?

I mean,

would it be that much different than your current fucking just than you're in a fucking capsule, a space capsule, rather than your house?

This house could be a spaceship, and I wouldn't recognize that.

We were traveling to Mars, probably.

First house on Mars.

I remember loving Event Horizon.

Does it hold up?

It does.

It's fucking great.

Yeah.

Yeah, it really does hold up.

It's well done.

I remember this.

Oh, go ahead.

Sorry.

No, no, no.

I'm sorry.

I just switched to Event Horizon because I've been thinking about it lately.

We could keep going with aliens.

But I was going to talk about, because now on the heels of this announcement by the Israeli head of space,

we've also had in the news the monoliths are popping up all over the fucking place.

Have you seen that?

I did see that.

And they said I read that in Arizona that like a couple guys came and took it away.

Yeah, that's what you want.

That's what the media wants you to believe, that some guys came and took it away because they don't want anybody going out there now as they're studying it and trying to figure out what the fuck it is.

I mean, everything's a misdirection, Bri.

Sleight of hand.

So the monoliths really mean nothing.

Oh, no, they probably are something.

I bet you somebody fucking did stumble upon one, and now they're in spin control, spin mode.

Misdirection if they just discovered aliens yeah maybe it's a way to communicate with the aliens that's what these monoliths are all about i don't know why they wouldn't put them in a more secretive location you know for sure well they are in a pretty secretive location they're in the middle of nowhere they didn't even announce where where the location was because they feared you know people flocking out there right

nobody know exos exactly where they are i know gatum told me that they could you could look on google earth and find one but you know how long yeah the one in the desert's gone they they they said they thought it was like part of the the westwood the west world set or some shit like that like the the one out there in the desert

but um they're saying sounds like cover-up shit to me they're saying oh absolutely because it disappeared so fast

it was like it's just like roswell they found the wreckage the next day oh it's a balloon it's the same shit it's just happening again

there's they're saying here four men have come forward as the makers of a monolith that was discovered in california

Of course, they are.

Yeah.

I mean, I don't know these fucking guys.

It's just a picture of three guys standing next to what looks like a telephone.

But then, how is it happening in these other countries?

Romania and where else?

Would you rather, Walt,

find out the answers about the aliens if we've been working with them, if there's a base on Mars, or would you rather that they come forward the day after you die?

Like, would you rather live in the time that it happens or not?

I guess Live in ignorance or live with the truth?

And the repercussions of the truth, right?

Yeah.

Ignorance, they say it's bliss for a reason, bro.

It really is like, it is awesome.

Like, if your ignorance is a great existence and not knowing horrible shit, it could be pretty fucking damn dope.

But I think at the end of the day, man wants to know the truth.

Even if it's fucking shitty.

He would rather know the truth than live a lie.

I honestly believe that.

I would want to know.

I don't want to wait till I'm on my deathbed.

I want to know now.

I'm still marveling at the quote.

Ignorance is pretty damn dope.

So awesome.

Have we made a new t-shirt in a while?

But yeah, I guess, but like, you don't think that if they, if the word truly got out that they were aliens and we've been in contact with them, you, you don't think that you think society would hold together?

Because in the past, you've been of the mind that we all break down and go crazy.

I think that, you know, as I said that in my youth, well, not my youth, like when we first started telling Steve Dave, I've come to appreciate society a little bit more in terms of like, stop treating us like

children that cannot handle anything.

And like, give us more benefit of the doubt that we're not like these

animals that will run amok at the slightest bump in the road.

You know, like, like, one little bump is going to is going to

put us on a course for, you know, self-destruction.

We can handle the truth.

Give it to us.

Do you think look at Portland?

What do you say about this?

I said, look at Portland.

I said, look at Portland.

I was just about to say, yeah, like they mentioned, like, hey, there's a virus around, and people swarmed fucking grocery stores and shit to get all the toilet paper and crap.

But it didn't, yes, inconvenience, yes.

And

there will be a segment.

I mean, I'm not going to say everyone's going to handle it as good as I will, but

there's going to be a segment that doesn't handle it well.

But you know what?

We cannot fucking just make decisions based on the worst of us or the ones that are going to fall apart.

You know, I think that we should make decisions based upon

the benefit of

a society knowing shit rather than being kept in the dark with our eyes closed.

Yeah, like who the fuck are you guys to not tell us about aliens?

Exactly.

Why do you guys get to know and we don't?

Why don't we get to know any of the inner workings of the shit that's going on?

Oh, because of security?

Oh, fuck you, man.

What if they were like, what if they put out a trigger warning before they announced it?

They're like, this made trigger.

I don't know.

I don't know how I feel.

Brian, what do you think?

You'd want to know.

I know you.

The chaos.

Yeah.

Definitely.

Yeah, I would want to know.

I don't know.

I think I just want things to go as they are for the next 40 years.

Now, that's a guy speaking, though, who right now is fucking smooth sailing, right?

Yeah.

You don't want any fucking rough waters.

I don't want any more.

The boat's going well.

Look, I got some fucking, I got the, I got to put on these antlers every once in a while.

That's my biggest problem.

The only ripple is that you're going to be able to.

Yeah, keep work for Mork in the closet.

I got a fucking show to make.

Have you guys seen the stock market?

You guys want to fuck with this?

I'm making it.

Do this show in the middle of the.

Yeah, like, are you fucking kidding me?

I bought Tesla stock at like 30 bucks.

Are you kidding me?

Oh, dude.

This fucking shit for aliens.

Brian Quinn says, there's nothing to see here.

Check us out on dinner party.

Turn off the news and turn on IJ.

Fake news.

Nothing to see.

Fake news.

Yeah, I got a monolith.

I got one in my yard.

It's bullshit.

It's bullshit.

Misery index.

He's like a duck above water.

His feet are going a million miles per hour.

Just keep treading.

Just keep treading.

Calm on the outside, frantic on the inside.

Calm on the outside, frantic on the inside.

The fucking definition of I got mine.

I'm just kicking the ladder down for the rest of society.

I'm like, fuck you guys.

You don't need to know about aliens.

It's fine.

There's any number of people that are like, I don't want it to be like this for the next 40 years.

Myself included.

I don't know, man.

I guess I would want to know, but just give me 10 more years, alien.

Well, that's with the assumption that they're really going to fuck shit up, right?

That it's like, if they're just almost like another country,

as opposed to like coming down and like, okay, the world is ours now.

We're going to start processing humans for fucking fuel and shit, you know?

It's really dependent upon what they look like, too.

Oh, you're right.

Yeah.

The more humanoid, the better.

Yeah.

Anything that looks like an insect, like a giant insect, forget about it.

You know, everybody will go fucking ape shit crazy.

Bro, your appearance is off-putting.

I don't know what that sounds like.

Can you put on a bikini?

It's got to be a lot more.

But if they look like Captain Kirk, like a green-skinned hot woman, then it's like,

put on this bikini and hold this beer can for you.

Tell him, Steve Dave.