#463.1: The Best of Butter Lips

That's a record scratch right there, Walt.

The names are Jay Sarge, the word is theme, and the other name is Declan.

Okay.

Go.

If there was a Mount Rushmore of all new Sunday Jip.

And you hit your 50-year-old, it's your sweet spot.

It's golden years.

If you say so.

I can't feel my left arm most times.

Tell them, Steve, Dave.

Hello, and welcome to this week's edition of Tell Hem Steve Dave.

That's a record scratch right there, Walt.

Because it's not a regular Tell Hem Steve Dave.

We tricked everyone.

Oh.

That's right, Brian.

This is going to be a best of Tell Him Steve Dave.

We haven't done a best of in a long time.

We did a couple very early on in Tell Him Steve Dave history, but those are very, very well-received episodes.

People dug those episodes on the eighth day.

God created Tell them Steve Dave.

Remember that?

Yes.

People still point to those episodes as like

great episodes for re-listenability.

Is that a right?

Is that a correct word?

I like it.

Is that a right word?

Okay.

I was talking to Tom.

Since he doesn't have a mic, he can't really answer you.

There you go, Tom.

He shook his head, yes.

That's all I needed.

But this episode of Tom, Steve Dave, is going to be a very special, best of

the all-new Sunday Jeff show, which is available on Patreon.

You know, a lot of listeners may not have heard a lot of these clips.

Some have.

But I tasked with Declan Quinn, old creaky himself i was like oh yes

listen to every all-new sunday jeff show episode and give me an hour plus episode of great clips right and he sat and listened to the all-new sunday jeff show

for eight days straight

eight days straight he said who's the hanukkah special and he said he did he he said his his his brain felt like butter I can see why.

And he said that, you know, like everything was moving in slow motion and he thought he had a stroke, but no, I said, no, no, no, that's just the normal after effects.

That's the feeling.

That's how you feel.

You know, it's that kind of drug.

That's how it feels when you listen to my show, I guess.

It's actually my favorite show to do on Patreon, like of the regular shows.

Yeah.

I really like the whole new Sunday Jeff show.

We have a lot of fun with it.

Now, we've been doing the show for two years, right, Sunday?

Yeah.

I don't even know how many episodes there are.

At least four

years.

I remember a 20th anniversary

episode.

Well, the 20th anniversary.

Yeah, getting up to 50.

Is it 18 years?

Do you think Leno or Letterman were this clueless about their own show?

I bet your sub-late late night show hosts were.

Even more clueless.

Johnny Carson,

I can't remember how many episodes he's doing anymore.

Chevy Chase, though, guaranteed he was clueless.

Yeah, he definitely, and he had way fewer episodes to remember than Sunday Jeff.

That was a good show.

I like that show.

Magic Johnson, too.

Oh, yeah.

So you ready, guys, to get into the first clip?

Sure.

Now, set up this first clip Sunday.

What are we going to hear?

All right.

We're going to see.

We're not going to see.

We're going to hear it.

All right.

I remember this clip.

Good.

Listen to this.

This is one of the earlier episodes.

So,

this is when I was

all butterlips and shit.

So, just listen to this one.

If you used to be old butter lips, what do we call your lips today?

More lips.

So, let's roll right into it.

You ready?

Go.

Hello.

Welcome to me first.

Okay, so that's

feeling good already.

You're not good now to you.

He's like, from Perb.

Hello.

I'm saying hello.

You're not supposed to say hello?

Well,

it sounds a little too stiff.

Oh.

Am I supposed to be like, hello?

No, no, you're not doing it.

Just a little bit more natural.

Holy shit.

Get him?

The first

failing already.

You're at the door.

Locked and clocked my ass.

Oh, okay.

No, Mike opened it.

All right.

Forget it.

No, I see how this is going to go.

All right.

Like he got nervous there, too.

All new Sunday Jeff show.

Take two.

Go.

Hello, and welcome to the

hello is that it's just.

I felt like I was about to watch a video about the flu.

Yeah.

Or like, like, I think a serial killer just said hello to me.

That's all right.

You can do it.

Like, he's approximating how it gets.

Hello.

Hold on, hold on.

Relax and get in your head.

You're not reading.

Try not to sound like you're reading.

Okay.

Because you've never said the word hello before.

It's the only thing

it's.

It's almost as if it's the first time you said it, isn't it?

It might be the first time.

Hello, you must.

I don't think I say it.

How many times do you say hello?

I say hi.

All right, well, say hi then.

That's more comfortable with you.

Using how my dad, I just said hi.

Use your voice.

Play with it someday, Jeff.

All right.

Take, what is this?

Take five?

Three.

Six, eight.

Six.

Didn't we do this already?

With a commercial?

All-new Sunday Jeff Show opening.

Take six.

Go.

Hi, and welcome to the first episode of the all-new Sunday Jeff Show.

I'm your host, Sunday Jeff, and I like to kick things off with.

Hold on, hold on.

Mike.

Oh, fuck, you were doing awesome.

All right, I'll do it again.

That was pretty good.

It was really, really good, wasn't it?

You were into it, right?

Did it sound like a professional podcast that you listen to?

Not like ours, but the ones that you like are really polished and everything.

No, not really.

They don't say hello seven times before

they start the show.

I don't think that'll be it, though.

That will ain't going to make it.

How many episodes you got onto your mouth?

All right, go ahead, Sunday, Jeff.

That wasn't your fault, though.

You were really doing well.

I was sounding pretty good.

Mike fucked up another podcast.

When he's not even on.

I don't know how many minutes.

That's not a first.

You were right, popcorn lips.

That was a great clip.

Still popping.

I laughed so hard my left arm's tingling.

That's good.

What, want to die 911?

It's getting kind of gray in here.

Somebody hold me.

All right, Katam, this next clip.

What are we going to listen to on in this next?

Oh, I can't even begin to describe this, but I remember it fondly.

Tom was in this episode?

No, no, no.

I think this is pre-Tom.

This is before Tom.

Entered the picture.

Yeah.

The good old days, as I call them.

This was,

what is it called?

BT?

Before Tom?

Yeah, BT.

BT.

That's how time is measured in the Sunday Jeff universe.

You know, us classic folks really like these episodes.

You know, the BT episodes.

That's what was really and true.

Like the pure heart of the all-new Sunday Jeff show, which is available on patreon.com.

Slash T-E-S-D.

Slash T-E-S-D.

There you go.

Come on.

Characters in Star Wars.

Other name for women's breasts.

He knows, he knows.

Can't deflate the ball.

Tom Brady quotes.

Yes, good.

One.

Obama.

Barack Obama.

I didn't suck Mike's cock.

Meg Diggs Mix.

Two.

Meg would never say that.

Thinks Make Sense to his wife.

Ten seconds.

I'm trying to for Nebraska in here.

Humpin.

Other words for sex.

Yes, three.

Time is up.

Can I take this one?

Yes.

The next things he says in his divorce trial.

I don't understand it, though.

I don't understand why it's always the go-to, though, of those, like, things Ming says, and it's automatically you're thinking oral sex.

Um,

didn't you write?

Oh, that's right.

I didn't write that.

I guess like, yeah, you wrote things Ming said.

Okay, so very family-friendly.

I'm seeing,

you know what, though?

I've spoken to people, and they say.

You got it, though.

Yeah.

I've spoken to people, and they say, without fail, that kind of shit always makes them laugh, no matter how many times they hear it.

The only thing that makes Mike laugh, though, and I think it's starting to rude.

He's the least of my concerns.

We have a Patreon audience.

As long as it didn't come out of my mouth, it sure did.

He said it.

You gave him the answer.

So you knew what the answer was.

Everyone knew what the answer was.

You're culpable.

Culpable.

Culpable.

Culpable.

Cuddleable.

Culpable.

It's too good.

It's too cool.

Was I right?

I was right.

Brian, what are we going to hear next?

I've come a long way, huh?

In these clips, you see the evolution.

Right.

You know, from a guy who doesn't know what he's doing

to a a guy who still doesn't know what he's doing.

He doesn't really know what he's doing, but he's better at faking it.

That's a Sunday Jeff Show.

Oh, wait, are we talking about Tom still?

So, what are we going to hear in this clip, Bri?

This clip, I recall as being one of my personal favorites, mostly because I had so much to do with it.

Oh, it's got to be a Sundack one.

Sundack, baby.

Whoa!

Oh,

there he is.

Okay.

George Lucas.

Later on, we're going to digitally replace him with somebody who can read.

Welcome.

Thank you.

So much forehead, Sean.

You can land an air.

It's like five.

That spinning airline on that forehead.

That spinning got to me.

Yeah, you should wear that all the time.

It's very becoming.

Yeah, I'll go punk gas.

Whoa!

Whoa!

I love it.

We got three minutes in before you get to that episode.

This is a Sundack episode.

I mean, Sundack can say that stuff, right?

Sundack's Edgy.

He's saying it as a character.

Yeah, maybe this episode he can say it.

I read some of this.

It might be appropriate.

Ladies and gentlemen, it's time for another visit from the Duke of Devilish Doings, the Baron of Black Arts, the Count of Conjurers, and the Marquis of Mumbo Jumbo, as well as Mike Zapsik's personal stylist, Sundak the flamboyant.

I don't know why that's funny, but it just is.

I was looking at him thinking the same thing, and then I was like, no, I like it.

I don't know why I like it.

Welcome, oh, oh, marble-mouthed mage.

Thank you, thank you, Gidham.

May the old goat who made out with the regular goat after the Super Bowl be caught spraying his batch of craft miracle whip on the face of a human trafficking band.

Oh, Sundack.

Timely, Sundack.

You say what everyone is thinking.

I hold in my hand not three, not four, not five, but six envelopes.

These envelopes have been stored undisturbed since 1994 in the Flanagan family spice rack.

Sundack, the first envelope.

Superman.

Superman.

Superman, Walt.

I can only imagine what this could be.

A comic book-related Sundak.

I like it.

Probably, yeah.

Unless it's cum soup.

Mike and Ming will always opt for the latter.

No.

I'm unfamiliar with that particular type of soup, Sundak.

Must be an Asian delicacy.

Ah, yes.

It must be.

Sundak, the second envelope I will hand to you with my hand.

Thank you.

Izzy Strandland.

Is he Strandland?

Izzy Straddling.

Is he stranded?

I'm about to pop a goddamn turban on myself.

Is he Stradland?

Is he Stradlin.

I do it purposely.

It gets him upset.

Izzy Straddling.

Izzy Stradlin.

Izzy Stradlin.

The question Debbie Chen already knows the answer to when Ming is hanging out with Mike.

Wow.

Mike and Ming are certainly taking on the Chin tonight, aren't they, Sundak?

I understand that Ming's cousin, Chin, took on Mike last night and now Ming's jealous.

Wow.

Lemony Sickett himself couldn't conceive of a more unfortunate series of events.

Sundack,

the third envelope.

I hope you can find it as I hand it to you.

Yes, I found it.

Home address.

Home address.

Home address.

Home address.

Home address.

There's no way it's going to be a third, Mike and Ming.

Oh.

Only Sundack knows.

There's no way.

He wouldn't go three for three, would he?

Well, guess what?

Home address.

Where Ming hasn't been in the past month and what he wore for Mike on their anniversary.

Jeez.

Whoa.

Oh, yeah.

My God.

May an overly hydrated R.

Kelly happen upon your young daughter.

Oh.

Now that's timely.

And on that high note, Jeff, envelope number four.

Shut out of Sundack hole.

Jeff does not want to be a tribute with me.

No, no, no.

He'll be spinning the other way.

Assault.

Assault.

Assault.

Assault.

Whatever could it be?

No way it's about Mike and Ming.

There's no way.

Well, it couldn't be.

Four for four?

How Mike answered when asked what Ming's cum tasted like.

Oh!

Oh!

Good lord, may your existence be validated solely by acting as the stereotype pawn of a sophomoric idiot whose bidding includes verbalizing every gay joke he can possibly think of.

Wow.

Sundack, the fifth envelope.

The fifth envelope.

Envelope.

Oh, Dubai.

Dubai.

Oh,

wow.

Dubai.

This is getting cringy.

This is crazy.

It's like he's a medium.

Cringy.

Dubai.

Largest city in the United Aborigin Emirates.

Yes.

Dubai.

Ming's answer when Mike called to ask him if they needed more AIDS medicine.

Dubai.

Oh, Dubai.

There's a line that has been crossed.

I mean, the first couple were fun.

Now it's just getting.

We're not done yet.

I think there's only one more.

This is like the last at the bowl.

This is when the last sword that goes up to the bowl puts them away.

This might be the card.

Just a friendly reminder from the show.

We all hear at the all-new Sunday Jeff show, getting stoned in Dubai isn't nearly as fun as it sounds.

Maybe don't act so ratchet by an inadvertently glancing at a man that you aren't already the property of.

Sage advice, Sundak.

Sage advice.

And now, it's with a very heavy heart that I must announce this is the sixth and final envelope you will be divining tonight or any other night.

Whoa, really?

What?

This is the final Sunday?

You're retiring, Sunday?

I guess so.

I mean,

I mean,

coming on the heels of the jokes, I mean, you may have been forced into retirement, so maybe it's better that you go.

Yeah, it's true.

After the curtain falls, one last time, I'm hanging up my turbine.

Why?

Thank you for your service.

I heard that you're retiring to pursue a life of sailing around the world, painting sunsets.

Sounds like a dream.

I have inoperable brain cancer and only three months to live at most.

Wow.

Hush, puppy.

Ooh.

Hush, puppy.

Hush, puppy.

Here, Jeff, let me hand you the envelope so that you can hold it to your head and divine the answer.

What's going on at the top of his game?

It's from across the room.

Hush, puppy.

Hush, puppy.

Hush, puppy.

Hush, puppy.

Poor Sundak's final envelope.

What a moment this is.

Treasure this.

This last memory.

Luckily, we have it on video.

Treasure your line

as you're supposed to be reading, as you're opening that.

Forgot it.

All right.

Okay.

Hush, puppy.

Hush, puppy.

The command Ming gives his dog when sneaking Mike out of the house at 3 a.m.

Ladies and gentlemen,

Sundak, the flamboyant.

We're going to miss you, buddy.

There's so much I wish I got from you.

Holy shit, my mouth hurts.

My face hurts from laughing too much.

Sundack, you're going to need fucking,

what's it called?

Botox.

You know, your face is going to be so sore for you.

89 Joker Batman, when you gave out all that

smiley.

I mean, if you haven't been prompted to just run to the computer and join the Tellum Steve Dave Patreon just to listen to this show,

I don't know what else will prompt you.

But if you still need more prompting, there's also the Frank Five Rewind on there.

There's also

what else is on there?

Pucknuts?

Pucknuts.

Father Flanagan.

TDST Tidbits.

Tidbits.

Posers, Purveyors, and Playlists.

There's just so much.

There's too much content.

A lot of content.

I challenge anyone to go on Patreon and find someone who offers more bang for your buck than we do.

We're going to do that.

We're going to be waiting here a fucking long time before someone fucking meets that challenge.

That's right.

I'm planting myself and I'm waiting.

This next clip, Tom, was a personal favorite pick of yours.

You specifically asked for this pick to be included.

So give us a little backstory of why you asked for this particular clip.

I thought this clip just embodied everything that was Sunday Jeff.

It was just absolutely perfect in every way.

And like normal, Giddam Giddam just made an ass of himself.

You have something on your nose here, Tom.

Who's the new goat for you?

Well,

I'm really hoping you have an allergy because people, this way, people will identify more.

You're not perfect.

You're viewed as a god already.

What if I say I'm closer to Brian being my brother than the other one?

I have no allergies.

Yeah.

You don't have any allergies.

That's how a man does it.

Get the fuck out of here.

Nope.

Not allergy to anything.

Nope.

I don't believe it.

I don't care what you believe.

I'm telling you the truth.

No allergies.

So eat big dogs,

cats, dogs, not

penicillin.

What about you burn like a fucking...

That's not an allergy.

That's just a normal thing.

If I put you in an oven, you're going to wind up burning too after a certain time.

Certain people have allergic reaction to the sun, though.

I thought that's why you were so white.

I thought that's why I wasn't.

That's not allergies.

That's just the normal thing that's going to happen to your skin if you stay out in the sun too long.

I thought that's why you look like a lab rat.

Well, I don't like the sun.

Like always gnawing on walls.

It's like

I got tail.

That's not the tail.

There's a reason why my eyes turn red.

Wow, what's the score, Tom?

It is two to one, Brian.

We are learning so much about Sunday, Jeff.

No allergies, no pink, and he sleeps on his back.

Side.

Oh, on a side.

All right.

Wears briefs.

Boom.

No one thought of that, right?

No one ever wondered, does Sunday Jeff wear boxers or briefs?

So we're only wondering right now, does he wear briefs?

Yes.

Wow.

That was quick.

No rambling there.

He makes me wash them every Sunday.

I stand behind him at the counter.

When he reaches over,

he's checking out my ass.

Did you see his panty lines or something?

What the fuck?

I can see a line.

Looks like you're wearing nothing at all.

How the fuck are you weighing in that quick quick on that answer, but rambling like a lunatic on all the other ones?

Again, I work behind him when he's with the register.

And in the movies we make downstairs.

All right, you're saying yes, he does wear briefs, Bry.

I mean, the confidence with which he answered, I would have to agree just to.

It would be safe to say yes.

All I have to do is agree with him with everything now, and I'll win.

All right.

Sunday, please reveal if you're a boxer's a brief.

Well, don't.

Just say, Sunday, Jeff, briefs?

Do or don't?

I do.

Why?

Why don't you wear boxers?

Never had boxes.

I've never tried them.

Never used them.

To me, they're more like shorts to me, like regular shorts.

What brand are they?

Briefs.

Haynes.

Look, dude.

What is this?

What else?

Gray to white.

for those who already knew the gospel of Sunday, Jeff, be rebaptized and listen again.

For those masses unwashed and ignorant of his brilliance, bathe in his genius and finally understand what it means to truly be alive.

Close people that I would confide in, and the first was what, one to three?

Three or less.

Three or less.

Four to nine or more than ten.

I would go three or less.

Three or less, A.

Get them?

B.

Four to nine.

These guys are completely.

Get the fuck out of here.

You're telling me that I don't tell you guys almost everything that goes on in my life?

All right, I guess it's if you consider them close, right?

That's that's the whole thing.

It doesn't have to be how we feel.

I wish you know how he feels now.

You better not stop talking about anything that he interfaces.

And I didn't necessarily say it counting you.

Who forgets?

Who forgets five minutes what I said?

You got me on something.

Oh, yeah, the fucking guy who's given you a job,

who's done all this shit for you, you're not going to count him.

No, I'm just saying I'm not counting you for remembering things that I tell you.

Yeah, I don't think anybody remembers the shit you tell them.

Because it's fucking worthless.

Yeah, it's like Fred Rogers shit.

Nobody cares.

You know, Walt.

Evil.

It's not worthless.

It's useless and pointless.

And I guess that makes it worthless.

Beyond notice.

I returned my boots to Walmart.

He fucking told.

So was every fucking person you told that day a close friend?

The fucking mailman is a close friend.

He defines a close friend as anyone who will listen.

Well, I don't tell him other stuff.

But you told that story.

This isn't our mail.

I'm not even sure the mailman now is not just throwing our mail in the sewer because he doesn't want to come in and talk to you anymore.

Yeah, he's like, this guy's telling me I'm his close friend.

Is the mailman on that list?

Is he one of those?

And like, he's pestering me.

Like, am I his close friend?

I don't consider John a close friend.

No, no.

Yeah, our mailman's name is John.

That guy, he told me he loved me.

I don't even know how to respond.

So you're saying B between four and nine.

Yes.

Some fever dream that is going on right now at this table.

It's when he discovers that that is not the real number.

That's when he'll go on his rampage.

Before the next clip, I want to tell you about something that's close to my heart, Walt.

Are you guys having a difficult time finding gifts for people?

You know, there's certain things you can't get people this year.

Yeah.

You can't send them to a concert.

Maybe you can't even send them to a restaurant.

You can't buy them movie passes?

That's right.

Nope.

No movie passes, nothing like that.

You know what you can buy them, though?

What?

Something that they will cherish.

Raycon Wireless Earbuds.

Silver Bullet, they call it.

Wow.

I actually did this.

I bought somebody earbuds for Christmas.

Oh, that's nice.

And they're Raycons.

I know, right?

Yeah.

They better appreciate it.

They should.

So,

well, you have them.

Do you still love them?

Every day I find myself loving them more and more.

I didn't think that was possible either, but it's just, I feel like, you know, there are days I just stopped myself.

I'm like, how long have I been thinking about my Raycons?

How long have I just been sitting here doing nothing but just contemplating how awesome they are?

And it's just, I find myself losing hours of my day.

Lost time, they got it.

Yeah, just in love with these

magical buds that provide so much enjoyment.

I couldn't agree more.

Do you find the noise cancellation cancels me out?

Nothing cancels you out.

It doesn't have noise cancellation, so let's not say that.

Unless you're buying the over-the-ear ones, then you're talking.

Which I also bought recently, and I love them.

They have seamless Bluetooth pairing and a comfortable noise-isolating fit.

You can start listening right out of the box and keep listening for hours.

The audio quality is amazing, comparable to what you get from other premium brands, except Raycons, start at half the price Sunday, Jeff.

Wow.

I know you like a nice saving.

Yeah, my phone, I have to get those now, too.

Yeah.

Yeah.

They're good.

They're so little.

They're almost flush with your ear.

I like to wear them when I'm sleeping because I got that tinnitus, so I listen to white noise.

So the audio brand, the audio quality is a ba-ba-ba-ba.

I already said that.

Best of all, this is something that you can use for calls or music or for work or at play or at home or on the go.

It's the gift that keeps on giving.

And if they already have a pair of wireless earbuds, you always need a spare.

That's true.

I crushed a pair accidentally.

One of the worst things I hate is like when you're listening, all of a sudden one of it goes out, and you're like, I wish I had a backup right here.

These are rechargeable, right?

These are chargeable.

Rechargeable.

They're beautiful.

I think some of them started six hours, and then one of the others.

It's pretty much eight hours.

It's pretty decent.

So Raycon's being generous for the holidays.

So, on top of their everyday great prices, they're offering the listeners 15% off right now.

What?

Yeah, I know.

I said the same thing.

So go to buyraycon.com/slash T-E-S-D today and get 15% off your Raycon order.

That's buyraycon.com slash T-E-S-D.

Buyraycon.com slash T-E-S-D.

That is a great deal.

This next clip that we're about to hear is the one where Mike first joins the show and in Sunday Chef.

I would give.

This is, no, not that you would give.

No.

That somebody competent would give.

Sugar.

If your left leg was breakfast.

Do it again.

You want to win your sugar.

If your left leg was breakfast and your right leg was lunch,

I wouldn't be able to resist snacks.

That's not even a joke.

It's just a paragraph.

Can't do both.

Come on.

They've already done it.

Four to three words in a row.

Like, like 99% of the time, girl, it's going to result in like

walking right away from it.

It's all girl.

I heard about it.

Why are you on your

bird?

That's part.

You're not even talking to him.

You're talking to the wall.

It's a different song.

Somebody's talking to a huge bouncer.

Like, somebody's dad is out there bothering everyone.

Or he's having a stroke.

I'm not sure where.

Come on.

Is there a silver alert out there?

Sugar.

If your left leg was breakfast and your right leg was lunch, I wouldn't be able to resist snacking between meals.

That was awful.

All right.

What do you want me?

And the number one.

Best food related pickup line.

Of all time.

All time.

This is the one

in the guys out there, just not for ladies.

They could use this, right?

Yeah, this one's good.

If you want to use it.

Yeah, I mean, just flip it and reverse it, like

for that last line, for example.

You could use it for a guy, except be like, boy.

I don't know if that would work.

No, no, no, no, Jeff, do it.

Say it like you're talking to a dude.

Boy.

And don't mess it up because I want to isolate this.

Yeah, do it for two, but it's if you're talking to a dude.

Boy, if your left leg was breakfast and your right leg was lunch, I wouldn't be able to resist snacking between meals.

It works.

You would have a much better chance of

You can use this for both lines.

So if there's any ladies out there that want to use the lines, welcome to them.

I just think on only January 10th, the line of the year would be sealed.

Now he's just got to do the 30 other genders.

Oh,

well done.

But now the number one,

all-time greatest, come online with food.

Is

girl, I'm going to make you a breakfast omelette as an omelette you suck in this diet.

The number one one I messed up.

Wow.

I wanted to get it so right, too.

All right, I tried it.

Didn't we all?

You done over there, Mario?

Girl, I'm going to make you breakfast.

Oh, my God.

I'll be right back.

You ever see the episode of Only Sunny when they're trying to hit on the girls?

Yeah, I'll be right back.

You're going to blow the whistle like Frank blows the whistle.

I'll try.

We're done.

Try, boy.

Maybe that'll work.

Yeah, you're gonna mess up me like my bitch.

Yeah, try with boy, baby.

Dude, no, it's no boy.

I'm getting it.

Girl, I'm going to make you a breakfast omelette, as in, I'm letting you suck this dick.

All right, better.

That was no good.

I'ma let you suck this dick.

There we go.

There you go.

Nice work.

There we go.

All right.

That's a long time.

I think this one was the game changer for the show.

I guess there's some stopping us speechless.

Say,

I'm speechless.

Has anybody, you think anybody listening has figured out we don't know what the clips are?

No.

I have no idea what the clips are.

You start saying stuff like that, and he puts them in intentionally because they're not the right clips.

You remember this?

And it has got nothing to do with what I just said.

No, but this next clip is definitely one of those clips that

I knew that there was no stopping us after this

clip.

The plane was taken off, and the destination was fucking to the top of the mountain.

We made it, Sunday, Jeff.

Aim high.

Let's listen.

So I give you a title of the movie.

You tell me if you've seen it.

If you've seen it, we move on to the next movie.

If you haven't, then you give me, based off the title of the movie.

Oh, what the movie's about?

Or if possibly you remember seeing a trailer for it,

you tell me what the plot of the movie is.

I like it.

And then Gidum, you will read to us how close he was.

Okay, I like it.

I like something that.

Brian, I guess you'll be able to guess how close you think he'll come.

Okay.

All right.

Sleepless in Seattle.

Seen it?

No, I haven't seen it, believe it or not.

I haven't seen it.

Why do you say believe it or not?

I don't know.

I can't even make the joke I want to make because it'll tip him off.

He read the novel, but he never saw the movie.

It's a very popular movie.

I mean, it's had the action figures.

Maybe that's what it is.

If there was an action figure, I might have seen the movie.

You know, they use the same sculpt as Han Solo.

So you've never seen the movie.

I've never seen the movie.

Okay.

How close do you think, Brian, on a scale of one to five, do you think he will be able to give us the plot of

one being my lowest confidence?

Yeah, five being like he's going to nail it.

He's going to nail the landing.

Can you go negative?

Yeah, I was going to say, I'm going to something like that.

I'll give him a two.

I think he'll get a couple elements of it.

Okay.

Well, I would say, elemental.

Hold on.

Let's tell us when you're ready to start.

Okay.

And then you will then say, then

say the word, the title of the movie, and then say sleepless in Seattle, a movie about, and then begin.

I feel like Sunday Jeff dipped into my Adderall.

The way he's like,

it's like off for the races.

Okay, sleepless in Seattle.

It's about insomnia.

Okay, that was

my own podcast.

Are we recording this?

It's about insomnia.

That's what people don't see.

Do you want me to

SD card for that?

Yeah, right.

This is why the lookover is just like, ta-dun-tun.

Yeah.

Did I nail it?

Is that the answer you wanted?

No.

No, for real.

No.

He's like that little Russian girl with the broken egg character.

I don't know the premises of it.

I mean, I definitely would say it's definitely a love story.

It's a love story.

I don't really know anything about what the, I mean, a plot, sleepless in Seattle.

I mean, I would think it would be somebody who couldn't sleep

in Seattle, right?

Isn't that what Sleepless?

Honest to God, I never saw them.

Give me me another pin off that night.

Where's that bottle?

I was sleepless.

In Seattle.

It's like homatose.

Homatose in Seattle.

I never saw them.

How could you guess from two words?

I know it's definitely.

I know it's a love story, but I can't tell you the premises of the film.

I think it went to Sonic before this.

I saw in New York somebody put ecstasy in the hamburger.

You know, Sunday in life, there are certain watershed events, and this next clip, I would say, is one of them.

You are going to be judging Giddam and Jeff on their improv skills as serial killers.

I'm going to give them a scenario where, Jeff, you will play the role of Sunday Jeffrey Dahmer.

You are playing, you are in a gay club because that's where Jeffrey Dahmer,

that's where he perused and got all his victims.

Your wingman is the notorious killer GTK.

Okay.

Okay.

And you are in a competition to see which serial killer has the better luring technique.

Serial killer expert bribe will judge which one of you has the skills to pay the bills.

So the setting is in the late 80s at a gay club, as I said before.

Both of you are trying best to lure a hot young dancer back to your place to murder them.

What's his name, Rico?

I will be playing the hip young dancer.

You will each get bonus points for each time you use innuendos to death or murder.

Okay, you got that?

So every time you can use an innuendo to death or murder, Bry should award you some extra points.

As well as bonus points for dropping pop culture references to the 80s, which we are in now at this this club.

We're in the 80s.

So anytime you can use some innuendos to place us in the 80s, Bri should give you some extra points

in your luring attempt/slash conversation.

So, I'm awarding points on how many 80s references they use and

how many death references.

How many death references?

Also, along with their luring technique.

Luring technique.

Like how they're going to lure me out of the club back to their place to murder me.

Okay.

Okay.

I'm not, you know, about Jeffrey Dahmer, right?

You know, he was one, the, the, um,

the cannibal.

The gay cannibal.

He didn't get any.

But he only was interested in dudes, though.

He only killed dudes.

So that's why we're in the gay club.

No other reason.

I'm not putting you guys there for any other reason.

It's just because that's what he was into.

Right.

This isn't really you guys.

We want to be historically accurate.

Because, you know, in the 80s, I was.

That's why Giddam's in Blackface.

And GTK, obviously, it's a take on BTK.

If the fucking daughter can fucking cash in, why not the Sunday Jack?

And Neoi Kevin.

Yeah.

So you know a little bit about him, right?

His technique was buying torch, kill.

So anything you can do to try to like

reference your technique or any clever ways that you can improv and get me out of the club, back to your place,

is going to afford you guys some points.

So let's see who the better serial killer is at luring his prey back to his home.

So we'll put some club music in right now.

I mean, 80s club music, which is what?

Like Freddy Mercury?

Who doesn't?

We'll find something.

We'll do it in post, you know.

I wasn't.

Oh, okay.

Yeah, I wasn't expecting you to fucking go

throughout the whole fucking.

Ooh, ooh, ooh.

Ooh.

So I'll start off.

Okay, and you guys play off me because I'm the hot hip

young foreign exchange dude.

Yeah, like everybody,

everybody is like eyeing you up and down.

They all want to.

Everybody wants me.

Right.

Oh, well, hello, boss.

Oh, shit, man.

Where were you in the 80s?

Well, hello there.

Hello, Sailor.

Wow, that shirt's a little tight on you.

It's like a noose around your neck.

Shut on.

You're not set to go yet.

Let me get out.

I'm setting up the stage for you guys.

I can't help it.

I'm so attracted to you.

So sexy that Hawaiian shirt.

Sounds like if Danny Terio had a traumatic brain injury.

Oh, well, hello, boys.

This club is so hot.

I'm so thirsty from dancing like a maniac.

I feel like Jennifer Beals.

Get it?

Why did I say that?

Dancing like a maniac.

She's a maniac.

It's an 80s fucking movie.

Fuck wit.

Okay, I thought Meal was the one from that heaven shower.

Does that make a difference?

Yes.

Why does it make a difference in this scenario?

Because I was confused as to who it was.

Well, you didn't get the point.

All right, so go.

Full hay sale.

Alright, you know, that shirt looks a little tight, like a noose around your neck.

You should open it up a little, you know, display that meat.

You don't have a girlfriend, right?

You don't have a girlfriend?

I should walk out the door and

change my mind.

Maybe I shouldn't be a serial killer anymore.

I had to give him a one for death because it seems imminent.

Come on, why don't you whip out some of that tit meat?

How you digging this music?

I like this culture club.

Ooh, what a nice little hairy chest there.

You know, you should take a nice little razor to it, you know, smooth it up.

Do either of your hunks want to buy me a drink?

Sure.

Sex on the beach?

It's to die for.

Yeah.

Nice one.

Me, I prefer a slow, comfortable screw.

You ever have one?

Let me get you a drink.

I'll be back.

Oh, my God.

Oh, well done.

Oh, my God.

You're on a roll, Sunday.

Don't stop now.

Wow, look at that.

I'll continue tonight at the real bar.

Wow, you open up that shirt a little more.

You're really cut.

I mean, I could do some cocaine off those abs of yours.

Would any of your hunks like like to buy Chad a drink?

Chad,

I'm a foreign exchange student, don't you know?

Oh, so nobody knows you're in America?

You gotta give him that one.

That was one that he may have used at one point.

Yeah.

Like, maybe even last night.

I didn't see him go home.

Um,

yeah,

I am a foreign exchange student.

I'm coming to America like Freddie Murphy.

Oh, here's your drink, sir.

Chad, how are you doing?

Oh, hold on a second.

My favorite Prince song's on.

I would die for you.

Ooh la.

Ooh.

Well done, Sunday.

Oh, please, I tumble for you.

That's not a

die for you.

Let me just suck his dick.

What are you doing?

Which one are you?

You really belong in the club.

Yeah, that G doesn't stand stand for get him.

O la sassoon.

I feel like you're gonna win.

Is that some Paul Mitchell product in your hair?

Keep going, we're going, baby.

Keep going.

That's a good one, Giddem.

Baby, why don't you buy me a Walkman if I go home with you?

What kind of...

What are you going to play on that Walkman?

what the hell?

You should tell him what...

Think of an 80s song and be like, oh my god, I have the latest culture club tape or whatever.

And then you would have gotten some shit.

We gotta drop some shit here, man.

You gotta improv.

Like that's, oh, I just got that new.

Why do you put in this song?

Take on me.

Don't just start naming songs.

I'll take points away.

I just made a mixtape over the radio the other day.

It's got some Yuey Lewis, you know, Come On Eileen.

Exactly the right thing.

It's Eileen.

Not come on chess.

Come on.

So

is that murder or is that just pure out in homosexuality?

Where's your client?

Am I talking about coming on a girl?

Well I was emphasizing the come on.

Right.

Come on Fielding him.

Come on Eileen.

Roadie to the max.

Roadie to the max.

Cowabunga.

Valley girl over there.

You know, I listened to Casey Casey the other day and I really got some nice stuff on my mixtape.

That's 70s.

Well,

He's known best in the 70s.

Don't fucking argue with the judge.

Most well known for being his 70s DJ.

This is Casey Casey.

Oh Jeff

so cute.

You look like a young George Barnes and your friend looks like Mr.

Balvadere with a thyroid condition.

Oh, can I be a serial killer radio host, Gacy Kayson?

Come on, guys, you bring it home.

You know, they say I hit home runs on the game.

They ain't bringing anything home.

Not with this game.

Neither one of you has said anything to get me out of here.

I almost like, I almost, I want to bring them both to a real bar.

Like, not even a gay bar, just a regular girl bar, and just watch their game.

That'd be really interesting.

I don't have game either.

You're talking about what?

Did you watch that Super Bowl last night?

Oh, yeah.

Yeah, that was

about as exciting as their game in any bar.

Constant thumbs.

It's a Super Bowl 21 party.

You know, the Giants are playing.

What does the Super Bowl 21 mean?

It's a football.

I'm gay.

What are sports?

Were you trying to reference what the Super Bowl would have been 30 years ago?

It was.

Super Bowl 21 is the Giants in 87.

Holy crap.

He got double points for that one.

That was a good one.

He used math

to try to score points.

No, actually, I wrote a song about that.

With a guy who's like, if you buy me a Walkman, I'll suck your car.

We can go back to my place.

I just got a brand new Sony.

We watched them men, you know, wrestling around on the field, scrambling for the ball.

Would you like that?

You're gross.

You're repellent.

You're just.

I can't believe what passes for a man in this country.

Is it Chaz or Chad?

Chad.

Chad.

Sorry, do you feel like I'm smothering you?

Chad?

Why don't you come back to my place?

I'm the key master.

Will you be my keykeeper?

We can watch Ghostbusters.

Keep going.

Oh, yeah.

Chad feels very aroused.

Is there a fire we can put out?

Maybe.

Or watch from a distance and get aroused.

Maybe.

I can always make you some omelets.

Wow, nice fallback.

Nice fallback, Sunday, Chad.

Like breakfast, Chad?

You get blown out of the water, GTK.

Oh, yeah.

Look, all the...

GTK is so well in 80s and Sunday.

You got to pick it up in the death department.

Come on, the last two minutes, go.

This is it.

This is it.

Start threatening him, Sunday.

Two-minute warning, go.

Oh, my God.

You got to get.

I'm almost, I'm really almost ready to go out with you.

I'm really ready to like.

This butthole is soaked.

I'm ready to go out to your car.

You can drive me wherever you want.

I got leather.

You like to get choked.

You have to use it as in your windows.

I'd flat out say you're going to choke me.

You should check out Ryron.

I got some nice rich Corinthian leather.

Ricardo Montabon.

70s.

Well, maybe you need another drink.

Are you still a little thirsty?

No.

I'm going to give you the point anyway.

As Huey said, do you believe in love?

Do you believe?

That's what they go out on.

Oh, my God.

There is so much horrible shit going on in the world today, but I'm truly convinced the Sunday Jeff show is the magic bullet, the elixir, the panacea for all the world's ills.

Just listen to these clips and tell me it's not audiopenicillin.

Give me 10 cc's of Sunday Jeff.

Stop!

Some people were in line to watch the movie.

You were in line to get the toys.

At midnight, there was a midnight opening of toys for us.

We were there, but we didn't know each other.

You were at the same store and didn't know each other?

Yeah, we had a newspaper.

Two shows passed over the night.

Yeah, we hadn't met each other at that point, but we were in the same store at the same time.

But again,

now you saw that, you look at that display, yeah.

Walmart, there's no other stores that had that kind of other, maybe FAO Schwartz, another store that's that that went out the out the window, but there was no other store that had that kind of well, you got the Millennium Falcon, they had all that stuff hanging up over.

It was just that half the store was dedicated just to this one product line, and you just walked in here.

I'm spending a thousand bucks out of here.

My favorite Toys R Us memory is involved you.

It was

a tie.

It's the very first day that we went out together shopping.

We didn't really know each other.

I was like, hey, you want to go out on a toy run with me?

And that's unusual for you to spend time with someone you don't know.

It's unusual for you to spend time with someone you do know.

Yeah, I didn't really know him, and I was like, I like this guy's, I like the cut of his ship.

I like his demeanor.

He's got the passion, and

he could teach me something.

And he's got connections, I think.

We met at the Middletown Sears, and we planned our route.

It's a rendezvous.

But when I got into his car, he got into my car, he noticed that I had all the.

You're taking out the passenger seat,

like Ted Bundy.

What's these handcuffs for?

You're gonna tell me everything you know about toys.

He saw all these all these bags of toys in my car, and he's like, What do you got all that for?

I was like, Well, I was hoping that

the first time you went out,

I was like, I can't do it all.

I goes, I was hoping that you could help me return some of this stuff because I can't do it all.

It looks crazy.

And you know what?

He was like, absolutely.

Whatever you need.

You're like, I'm on Jeffrey's no-fly.

That's bro.

But my second memory is

you calling me, and it was like you had found like a lottery ticket that was like a zillion-dollar ticket when you said that the Rudolph, the ranking and the bass Rudolph figures were out at Toys R Us.

And you're like, how many should I buy?

And I was like, buy them all.

And you were just like,

we laughed like maniacs after I said, buy them all.

Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait.

And you come down on me for buying Legos because I'm stealing from babies.

But you know what, though?

There's a memory attached to that.

I'll never forget

that moment.

You don't have memories.

And they're not as meaningful if you do.

There are singular memories.

It's just you and the plastic.

This is a memory of two men just laughing.

Laughing like madmen.

Laughing at those same children.

Sunday, Jeff, before we move on, I need to ask you about your uh your personal uh self-care routine are you a guy who likes uh potions and and this and the like you know like eye serums

deodorants deodorants i never used hair products

hair products no no hair products you might have to man we're getting older you need something under the eyes so like the wrinkles don't start taking over you've got nice smooth skin though i bet you can be smoother though What you got?

I got something called Hawthorne for you.

Hawthorne.

That's right, Hawthorne, yo.

That's that Hawthorne, son.

It's a premium tailored personal care brand that's making it easy for guys to feel and smell their best.

And all you have to do, Sunday, Jeff, is you start with a little quiz.

And they ask you things like, Do you smoke?

How do you spend a night out?

Like, are you the kind of guy that's going to go to a quiet restaurant?

Are you up in the club fluttering and such?

Your Social Security number and your mother's maiden name.

Right, that's all we need.

Fluttering here.

First pet's name?

Yeah.

Get them.

But so they give you this quiz, and then what happens is they formulate specifically to you.

So like if you smoke, they're going to give you a different scent.

Maybe that some will overwhelm that smoke smell, you know.

So if you want to upgrade your self-care routine, Hawthorne is a fun and convenient way to get super high-quality products tailored specifically for your needs.

And Hawthorne even takes the risk out of it by giving you free shipping on your orders and returns.

And if you don't like your products, they'll retailer them for you based on your feedback.

So if you're like, hey, I need a little bit, you know, I need

a sort of a Caribbean scent, you know, a little bit of something that smells like a little cold coconut oil.

Yeah, yeah, exactly.

They're going to do that for you.

So do what we did.

Take Hawthorne's quiz today and get started on your personalized self-care routine by going to hawthorne.co and use promo code TESD to get 10% off your first purchase.

That's H-A-W-T-H-O-R-N-E dot C-O, promo code T-E-S-D.

That's hawthorne.co.

This next clip might be my all-time favorite clip of all time.

You got a magnet on on the front of your car and you got a magnet on the back of the car.

They can't get close enough to each other to hit each other because the magnets on the bumpers are the world's most powerful magnets.

Even if we have to go outside the world to find them on another planet, we get magnets that are so powerful it just won't touch another car.

Unless you go into a head-on collision.

In fact, it would pull you towards it.

You know.

They're electromagnets.

I'm going to go ahead and say junk science.

They're electromagnets that can reverse polarity.

Oh!

Wait a second, Paul.

Is that something that you have to do, or it's just going to suddenly reverse polarity?

Well, that sounds like a cheap fix.

Press your

polarity button before you hit.

I mean, yeah, Tesla has self-driving cars.

Why not have a car that can get your magic?

But I also thought while we're doing this on the bumpers of the cars, we've also put those magnets on dividers on the side of the road.

So everything has magnets all over it.

So you get close to it, it repels you.

You can't get next to it.

You can't run into anything at this point.

And this goes along with your rubber car.

No, this is a totally different, separate project.

It's a magnet, Jeff.

But

when people pass each other, then they would.

Yeah, you have to have something someplace.

And your system would pick up and

cut everything down to one lane.

One lane.

Highways.

Yeah, okay.

Well, then it's.

What?

Do you want to save lives or do you want to see fucking thousands of people a day die?

Don't you want to use a calendar when you're going somewhere to time your trip?

Yeah, I want to get there in three months.

But what?

Bullet train or the magnetic, Walt's magnetic car?

And what are bullet trains used to go so fast?

Magnets.

Yeah, there's a little bit of difference, though.

There's nobody else on the road with that.

Is there a little bit difference or a big difference?

Or a lot of differences.

There's a difference.

As the safety increases, the speed can increase.

Boom.

But where do these magnets go?

There's only one train.

No, that's not a rubber car anymore.

No, that's a different project.

This is Project Magnetically Inclined to Save Lives.

Well, I mean, it rolls right off the tongue, so I like that about it.

Well, it's also not by its initials.

Mystic.

Again, I'm going by a scientific method.

That's why I'm going to set

chunk science.

Why?

Because it would say, how are you going to make that thing so powerful that you can repel all of that?

Why are you so negative?

It's not negative.

I'm a realist.

I'm just telling you.

They're electromagnets.

What are cars powered by?

Electricity.

Why are you so stuck?

So a 100-amp alternator is going to...

I'm thinking outside the box.

Let's think outside the box.

for once.

So let's see.

Let's go back to, like, this is the Jetsons.

Is that what you're thinking thinking of?

Like, we're going.

I like that idea, though.

Does it feel like a.

No, is that that they drive on magnets?

He's Mr.

Spacely, right?

He's not George.

But why wouldn't it work, though?

Spacely.

Just answer me.

Why are you just

like people just talking out your asshole?

You're talking about stuff that you couldn't.

You can do.

Because just like he said.

Why do you look that shaved asshole?

How about that?

No, why don't you answer a question?

I did answer your question.

Your idea is shit.

Thank God

you're not a scientist because right now we would have lost World War I, II, whatever it might be.

What do you guys have to do with warfare?

I'm not trying to...

My shit isn't to kill people.

My shit is to save people.

I think it's going to kill people.

Electromagnetic fields with cancer?

Why, can people get cancer from?

Yeah.

That's junk science.

Yeah, that's not junk science.

Is that junk science really?

No, I've never heard of that.

Because then MRIs would give people cancer.

But that's a short burst.

Talking about constantly being around humans.

You can't be in a...

That's why the cars go so fast.

You don't spend that much time in the car.

Right, but if you're going that much fast.

Yeah, is that true?

Magnets can cause cancer.

Electromagnetic?

Electromagnetic.

I didn't say anything about electros.

Well, that's well, that's how you're going to stop it.

You certainly celebrated him when he shot me down.

I was like, right, you know,

let's go to the local pizza restaurant.

I'll get all the little business cards that have the magnet.

I'll flip them, I'll tape them to my bumper, and we'll see if that works.

I don't need insurance anymore.

Hello.

Hello, I'll stop.

Yeah.

Junk science.

But you know, you haven't told me why it won't work other than the cancer angle.

So much for saving lives.

A meeting of big tobacco enthusiasts.

The idea of what you're saying in principle.

Let him speak.

I want to hear it.

In principle

would be a good idea.

The problem is, like when Brian says, you're trying to make a turn.

Now you would, your whole car is made out of metal.

So

somewhere or another, it's going to be attracted.

to the magnet.

You can only have a reverse polarity in the front, but what about the sides?

Why can't we have it on the the sides too?

Yeah.

You could, but I'm saying that.

Oh!

The computers that you're going to need to do this?

What, stick magnets on the side of cars?

But you'd say you know how.

A rivet gun.

What?

A rivet gun.

Never heard of it?

Yeah, a rivet gun.

A rivet gun.

A rivet gun will secure those magnets.

The speeds that you would be going at, I don't think

really matters.

It's not economically feasible.

That is true, too.

It is not easy.

What is the cost of a life worth?

Whose life?

Yeah, who's life?

All our lives.

Yeah.

Well,

some are worth worth more than others.

But really, though.

Some less.

Is it really just come down to dollars and cents for you?

No.

I just don't think it would work.

What do you think?

I just don't think it would work.

Are you like your corporate overlords?

It's all dollars and cents?

I just don't think it would work.

Is there a possible you could give me?

Electromagnetic steward remains to be seen, or are you just going to give it junk sauce?

Well, your theory is

fixed.

There is seriously.

There's flaws, yes.

There's flaws, but

could it work?

It could be a possibility.

Boom.

It could be a possibility.

I don't see it.

You know it can't.

You know it can't.

Why aren't you?

Will it be realized?

Will it be realized?

No, it won't be.

But it could work.

There's a chance

on a mask.

There is trains that you run.

Stop saying it will work.

No.

I don't think you'll ever see it in the middle.

Why?

I don't think it'll ever see it.

But you are on mascara saying it could work.

Well, trains do use, like you said, electromagnetic power to propel trains, but it's used to propel it.

I don't want to propel it.

People can be on the screen.

See, that would be a better idea.

I would think the other one's actually a better idea.

So, wait, wait, wait, why aren't these trains giving you the right word?

No.

No, it is.

Because it's like short bursts, just like you're in the middle.

But you're on the train.

I mean, when I was on the train, it would take me an hour.

But you're not surrounded by a whole magnetic field.

You'd have it around the whole entire car.

But you all know that.

It's underneath you.

Underneath you.

So magnets don't have a 360-degree field.

No, but the power, the electric's coming from.

Put them in a box.

Get them.

I love it.

You're in a box right now.

Get out of that box using a magnet.

Without using a magnet.

Oh.

Very regretful.

Let's move on.

Let's move on.

Get out of one.

Let's move on.

Fuck you, Target.

Your silence is incriminating.

Let's get you in the box.

All right.

If there was a Mount Rushmore of all-new Sunday Jeff.

I like it, though.

It's contagious.

You know, maybe it's hyperbole, but if there were a Mount Rushmore of the All-New Sunday Jeff Co.

clips, this next clip is right there next to Sundak and Sunday Chef, in my humble opinion.

Others may disagree, but they're wrong.

So listen to this.

This is a fig-eating contest, but it's about how erotic you can eat.

And you'll be judging Troy on how erotic they eat the fig.

Do I have to watch?

No, you have to hold.

You only look like you have one drink.

Get him's final boner for the day.

Is he someone else's question?

You'll have 15 seconds to perform on the fig and impress Troy.

I'm on the fig, huh?

And impress Troy with the figure.

Or conalingus on a fig.

I didn't know.

It's a fig-eating contest.

Nobody ever said anything else.

You said perform.

God, I wish that.

Perform doesn't usually involve chewing.

I've never wished it so much.

It was bring your child to work, Dad.

What do you do, Dad?

All right, so, Troy, who would you like to see go first on the fig?

There's nobody or at all.

Who would I like to see?

Nobody.

You're going to be able to get up and move around.

They're going to sit there.

Yeah, you can hold the fig with your own hands.

You can have me hold it for you.

Looks like a treble.

I'm getting more feedback.

I'm not going to get to move around because I'm afraid that the camera will pick up my raging erection when I see Sunday Jeff eating that.

He can only get so erect.

I got to stay under the table.

Who would you like to see go first?

Each of you will get a different fig, too.

So we can take the fig out.

No, Sophie's like.

That's nasty.

I'm not sure he's going to be with us much longer.

Look at his face.

That's a rotten face.

Well, shit, when you do it one, we just throw some ketchup on it.

I thought my guys got red.

Do we have any oxygen in the house?

Oh, Christ.

Look at that thing.

It looks like a wife.

I've seen one like that before.

Apparently, so did the person that designed it.

What's the matter?

Keep your fingers out of there, bro.

Like over there poking it and shit.

I'm trying to get it for camera ready.

Oh, God.

I don't think that's ever going to help you to make that camera ready.

Oh, yeah.

There's no amount of fluffing that can make that camera ready.

Spray with something.

Give it a nice glisten.

Yeah.

Well, that's your job to make it glisten.

Glazed donut style.

Judge Troy, who's going first?

You know what?

With the questions, we started left to right.

We'll go right to left this time.

We'll start with Giddam.

All right, so we're not eating it now.

Oh, I'm finished.

I don't think he's going to hold them.

You know, bone up a teeth.

Who's going first?

We'll start with Giddam.

With the questions, we start on that side, and now we'll start with that side.

Let's get all that hair all wet.

All right, so can someone, Tom, do you have any kind of timekeeping device?

Yes.

We want to put 15 seconds on the clock.

Now, get them.

How will you approach?

What's some of your thoughts about it?

What's your game plan here to impress the

year is 1810.

Giant bushes for all the reeds.

Well, I mean, look, we needed something to hold it.

Right.

Oh, you need to be able to get it.

What is that fashioned out of?

It's the old Bigfoot costume from the

$6 million man episode.

Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait.

We didn't watch that after he was done with the jelly.

I just cut off a part of the leg, and I just asked him to get away with the break.

Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait.

Wait, the leg he was standing in the water with?

No.

No.

Okay.

Well, you're not eating the fur.

Do you know how to fucking eat a...

Well, it's still around there.

you're missing the whole point bro

he's like

just eating the skin

you know what you're supposed to do right you know what they're supposed to do

you know when you start on skin like you do oh i know what to do okay

all right so what's your game plan how are you gonna impress well most people try to go with the alphabet but i uh

i usually go with the quadratic equation because it's a little more mental.

And

it gets my mind off.

Why are you thinking of other things other than

guys only use that to hold out?

Well, yeah.

You're so grossed out by pushing yourself.

Maybe you should put two balls on the bottom of that.

Because, you know, they say

if it lasts for more than two hours, you're supposed to seek medical attention.

So.

What the boner?

So you're going to.

It's called priapism.

You're going to do the alphabet, you said.

No, that's normal.

It's a quadratic equation.

It's a quadratic equation.

But I'll keep it down.

15 seconds.

Are you ready?

Yes.

Tom?

15 seconds?

15 seconds.

That's not a lot of time.

That's not a lot of time.

That's five seconds more than I normally need.

Would you spend more than 15 seconds on this portion?

Well, I spend 15 minutes.

1050.

How loud she screamed.

It depends on the smell of the medical condition.

Let's say you could take a look at the media.

Is there an odor tonight?

I usually spend at least 15 seconds begging.

All right.

like I said, guys, we will have another fig for you to replace that in the holder.

Don't waste a roofie on it.

All right, get him.

Impress Troy.

Go.

You're looking a lot of ice cream.

You got to start out big.

It's.

Look at it all.

Oh, I'm not looking at it now.

It's all fucked up.

Look at a wet dog that just came out from fucking going to the bathroom.

Look at his dial.

He's like,

Jesus, Jesus, turn that shit inside.

Crunchy.

You hooked yet?

You got that sundy itch that just needs to be stretched every day.

Ooh, you got it bad.

You're a Jeffrey junkie, son.

And I got you fixed right here.

You don't have any dirty kick pals?

I'm guessing I might.

Yeah, okay.

I thought it was bad.

I just learned about it today, too.

I'm going to say that it's just like trashy women that you're able to just go back

No, no, no.

I'm going to say trashy women that just like, you know, that you can just, you could always count on them if you want, you know, for sex or whatever.

Like a booty call?

Yeah, like, you know, it's like you don't have to ever worry about it.

Kick it with them.

And then kick to the curb.

Nice.

You are, you are more like, you are a more sexual being than I thought you were.

Yeah, he's out there, man.

Yeah, he's getting it from every angle.

I had oral sex with a fig.

Remember that, don't you?

Remember that?

Oh, my God.

I really thought I was really scared

when that sentence first came out because before I got here tonight, I just said, I was like, oh,

we didn't need to hear that.

He was like, once I did it, Larry Taylor.

You know that, right?

You were here.

You were the one that was putting the fig in the one for the Reddit subreddit.

I can't find her.

No, this one's memorable.

This is when I first started doing stuff on the show.

And this is called Acting High.

A lot of people do it, right?

Something, Jeff?

They get in that room and they're like, oh man, I'm so wasted, bro.

What's up, brother?

How are you doing?

Ace on here, man.

What's going on?

Smoke rocks.

What you got?

I've been waiting all week for this thing.

All right, who's in the lead?

Brian's in the lead.

Brian's in the lead.

So, Gatum, you're going to get to go first.

I feel I will be hated by the internet if I don't have you guys act it out.

All right, so we're going to go from,

we're going to go from bottom to top.

So, I'll go with number 10 first.

Sounds like Mike and Ming.

Okay.

All right, so I'll do number one.

You do number three.

I'll do number two, okay?

Wait, which one?

You do, you do number two.

This is a karma sutra.

You do number three.

I'll do number one, and then we'll both do it.

Put a swirl on top.

So we'll just, these are the three things you got to remember what to do.

All right, you ready?

Are you ready?

Yeah.

go.

Jeff.

I don't give a shit about nothing.

Okay,

this is me at night drinking.

Except I'm alone.

Come around.

You're still having the same conversation.

He's just playing both parts.

Yeah.

What do you think it is, Ed?

He already guesses.

It's alcohol.

Daddy.

It's alcohol.

One of my favorite things about the all-new Sunday Jeff show is the fun fun we have playing games.

Check out these side-splitting game clips.

We're going to go to the full soundbite

for one point.

I don't know.

These sound like they're all like being tape recorded in a cave.

That's exactly where I actually did it at in the cave.

Yeah, you should bring a better speaker next.

It's just like,

I offer to set up my speaker.

It sounds like a speaker.

It doesn't have everybody's laptop.

Yeah.

There's no Bluetooth on there.

No.

Yeah, I can see the headphone tracker right there.

Yeah, you put it in the headphone tracker.

There's a headphone jack in there.

All right, Dino.

You watch the show, bro.

All right, bro.

You get him?

Is it Dino?

It is Dino barking.

Oh, God.

Yeah.

That does not sound like that.

Well, that didn't sound like it either, though.

That didn't sound like Dino.

Okay.

It sure does sound sound like it.

Now that you know what I mean.

Once you know the answer,

don't.

He gets a point.

Yeah.

Don't I get a point?

It does get us.

Thank you.

Sorry, Lindsay.

All right.

Updated score is get him, Bri 11, Sunday, 7.

Ooh.

That's a tie.

There's not one left either, so.

Grab.

Two-second bite for Bry.

Hold on.

This is just fucking noise, man.

That's a tough one.

Whoa, you didn't know, so

really?

How do you know that?

Yeah, no, that's a tough one.

You see who I work with?

Is it from that girl?

Okay, you want it for four-second bite?

I guess so, yeah.

It's just the same thing, so.

Wait a minute.

It's just the same thing.

It's just a loop of that over and over again.

You couldn't find a long hair.

No, you know what it is,

everything else.

Let's just hear one more time for Bry for one point.

Here, because it was a hard one, we'll play the whole thing.

Yeah.

Fucking number station.

I made it.

Seven.

You know what it is?

Technically, I know what it is.

Yeah, you just, yeah.

All right.

Well, sorry, you get a chance to steal it.

Russian station.

That's what I would have said.

Get him.

Satellite the Batmobile.

Turbines to speed.

That's right.

Damn, bro.

How did you know that?

Because, again, Mike does that.

Turbines to speed.

Megathrusters go.

What?

I don't remember the sound.

No wonder we're losing.

It's the sound of the back car when the fire shoots out of it starting, yeah.

But usually it has that hum for his like,

somebody got it, though.

Yeah, because he is fucking Mike around all day saying stupid shit.

But the mic can't make that sound effect out of his mouth, though.

No, he can't.

That's true.

Does he make the sound effect or no?

No,

he goes through the whole turbine's to speed.

So what?

What a cool guy.

It's how he works himself up to get ready for work in the morning.

But I don't understand.

We're working with him.

How could you have gotten that, though?

Even Mike saying turbines to speed every single day for a year straight, how that could help you decipher what that sounds like.

You think there's some shenanigans going on?

It may be.

Yeah, did you see that?

No, I even wrote it down.

I actually accuse him that of every episode.

All right, Sunday, Jeff.

We got 60 seconds on the clock, Brian.

On your mark, get set.

Dumb

pass, pass.

Save Jesus

with sneezes.

Sinking?

It's just like this incoherent.

He thinks if he does this enough, like you're allowed to use sign language.

Like, why would he even use that?

Flow bone sandwich, blowjobs.

Things you stick in your mouth.

No, he said sandwich is good.

Bandages?

Hands, you have hands, Jeff.

Lightsabers, sword fights, T-Town, Starboards.

Get them.

You've been looking pretty good lately, and I think it may be because you took advantage of one of our sponsors.

Yeah,

I think it's Carab.com.

And they gave me those vitamins, and they've been very helpful.

I think my hair is a lot fuller, especially my nails.

Your nails aren't as brittle?

No, I would say they're, yeah, they're looking pretty healthy.

I mean, I'm a nail biter, but

I mean, look, they look pretty good, right?

I bet you're a pillow biter.

Are they mutually exclusive?

So, Care of is a wellness brand that makes it easy for you to maintain your health goals with a customized vitamin plan that helps you feel your best today and supports you long-term.

These are very high-quality products, and your recommendations come in individually wrapped packets that are perfect for getting back into the routine.

That really helped.

I could put them in my bag, and if I forgot to take them while I was at work, I could just reach my bag, pull it out.

They were all individually sealed each day in a separate bag.

That's the point.

It had like a, had some that had quizzes on them or like daily affirmations that I really took to heart.

Yeah, yeah.

They have an online quiz.

Again, very short quiz that asks you about your diet, your lifestyle, health concerns, and they help address your specific wellness.

Mother's Maiden name, Social Security, I mean, all the standards.

All that good stuff, subject.

So there may be fewer holiday parties this year, but the season is just as hectic.

Help manage the holiday stress in a healthy way by adding some of Carib's Carib's supplements to your routine.

The quiz, easy.

Yeah, it was telling me to say that it's fun, but you know, come on, let's not get carried away here.

I really like about them.

I actually do like them.

Vitamins to me have a very pungent odor.

Yeah, they definitely do.

Like, when I smell vitamins, I can smell them a mile away.

But when Gidham opened his pack, there was no

odorless vitamins, which to me is a very big leg up on the competition.

Especially the fish oil.

There was two fish oil tablets in there, yeah.

These did not.

It doesn't smell all yeasty and stuff.

Okay, so for 50% off your first care of order, go to takecareof.com and order enter.

Holy shit, and I'm reading it.

Hey, did you just see what happened over there?

Got another Sunday job.

Starting, brother.

You're right, English.

A little Sunday Brian.

I got to say it twice.

For 50% off your first care of order, go to takecareof.com and order.

Holy shit.

Throw another menorah on the back.

Well, can you just read it?

I really can.

Oh, yeah.

You want me to read it?

I got my glasses.

I can't believe it.

I just can't do it.

All right.

So, where

do you want me to read here?

Just the very bottom where the call to action.

Yeah.

Where it says for 50% off your first order, care of order, go to takecareof.com and enter code T-E-S-D-50.

What's that supposed to mean?

Because we're all in our 50s?

No.

Or is is it 50% off?

I was getting a little annoyed there, but no, it's for 50% off, which is a good thing.

And I'm going to repeat this call to action because it demands repeating.

So that's for 50% off your first care of order, go to takecareof.com and enter code TESD50.

50% off.

That's what we dream of, right, as consumers.

Nothing beats 50% off.

Half off, the best off.

Well, except 60% off and higher.

Or even no one's giving you that.

I don't trust that, though.

There's something going on there.

What was that code again, Walt?

TakeCareof.com and enter code TESD50-5-0, baby.

Nothing better than 5-0, right?

When you hit your 50-year-old, it's your sweet spot.

It's golden years.

If you say so.

I can't feel my left arm most times.

I know that they come so quick now with these shows that you forget of all the good stuff that we've done in the past.

So this one I forgot about, but this one's really, really bringing back a lot of memories.

So, let's check this one out.

All right.

So, but J-Lo, I don't know if J-Lo's better than any of my three choices.

So, here's the only thing: aesthetically pleasing, aesthetically pleasing.

Not for the space mission.

Here's the thing: look, if we want Sunday to fucking have some fucking get off and have jollies instead of worry about the mission, no, listen, I have a reasoning behind it.

She is 50 years old.

Have you ever seen a space?

Too young.

Looks that good?

Too young.

No, she takes care of her.

Do I have to have?

How many kids am I supposed to have with each one of these women?

Ten each.

Ten each.

She's not going to look like that after two.

Why?

But at least,

you know, as you have children, I mean, it's just, it takes its time

for a while.

Yeah, but are you going to have how many times you're in space?

You want her to have like 10 or 20 kids in 10 years, which is not going to happen unless she's having twins or triplets all the time.

Yeah, she's going to take that.

Oh, fertility drill?

Yeah, so I'm going to go

you're not going to be able to do that.

Those are risks.

Risks for what?

Are you going to have a surgeon on here?

Are you going to have to do it?

You're going to have to do it.

Medical robots.

Medical Syrian sections, too.

Where are you guys?

They're going to train you.

Medical robots.

They're going to be medical robots.

Medical robots like the droid in Star Wars.

No, but I think that they'll train Sunday to handle anything that may pop up.

Like, do you have to do a C-section?

You'll have to train J-Lo for that, too.

All right, so J-Lo, you like the J-Lo, huh?

But do you want to start with Martha Stewart or start with Jaylo?

No, I would start with Jayla.

End with Martha Stewart.

Hey, but J-Lo's never been to prison.

Is that a requirement, though?

It shows how tough she is.

J-Lo has fucking washed.

Jenny on the street.

Jenny Block.

Jenny on the block.

And it was bullshit.

She's 50 years old, looks amazing, takes care of herself.

Who's Martha Stewart?

She's way older.

Do you think Martha Stewart's great looking?

For almost an 80-year-old woman?

Or someone else?

Thankfully, once you got to space, she'd stop aging.

The attitude about who your choices are.

Number two,

hold on, you know what?

I like that the interview would go, J-Lo, you just played the halftime Super Bowl show.

What are you going to do now?

And she's like, I'm told I'm going to go fuck Sunday Jeff in outer space.

Over 10 years.

Over 10 years.

Awakening in Alex Rodriguez?

See you in 10 years, buddy.

Look at all my fucking kids.

Number two is Rhonda Rossi.

Oh, she's tough.

She's a badass.

And she's good looking, too.

I mean, most of them go with, you know, Sunday Jeff has to have sex.

But she may have taken steroids to get that physique, though.

She may not have the ability to birth 10 children.

So what?

That's all she's there for is to.

Work top Sunday Jeff.

That's all she's there for

is to repopulate this new world.

But he's stuck.

But he's the government for 10 years.

I don't think Martha Stewart is exactly the same thing.

Yeah, Martha Stewart may not make it to the end of the mission.

She may make it to the mission.

She'll make it to the mission.

Honestly,

I'm going to have her make a clone out of herself out of the grass and just bring it on.

It looks like I'm bringing three people on here.

Five minutes in.

Look at how peacefully Martha's sleeping.

Oh, shit.

Ronda Rousey is a pretty good choice.

I actually had her on my list, but I said to myself, I think Martha Stort is tougher mentally than Ronda Rousey.

Well, let's have them go in the UFC game.

No, no, no, no.

I said mentally.

Not physically.

I mean, it's not fair to put Ronda Rousey in with an 80-year-old woman.

What about a 50-year-old man?

And my last one, I threw an Elvira just for, you know, you have someone to talk to.

A horrible choice.

I mean, this is a horrible choice.

Who gets to make the decision, Walt or Sunday?

I'm gearing mine towards Sunday, so I figured Elvira, you could talk about horror movies for a while.

You have some.

Well, I mean, the time would go by fast.

I tried to make it, you know, a good combination of all three for you.

I don't even think she likes horror movies.

It's an all-act.

Does she get to dress like Elvira?

Yeah.

No.

She dresses how she really is.

No.

She dresses like Cassandra Peterson.

Yeah.

Nice pick, pick jerk off.

Yeah, she's not fucking Martha Stewart.

She's only got one man to impress in her life now for 10 years.

Do you really think she's putting on all the gear for you?

Fuck off.

She ain't getting on.

Fuck off.

She's not wearing the fucking.

She's not putting in the fucking big amp plane.

He said Elvira.

He didn't say Cassie Peterson.

She's like, you're not even a fucking real astronaut.

I want her walking around in that outfit.

That's what I want to say.

Bring me some coffee.

I'll see you later.

Because also, we have to imagine, he's got to get it up, right?

I mean, I don't think Martha Stewart.

No, they'll have drugs for that if he can't perform.

He's in fucking space.

He's even needed for it.

You're in outer space.

The vacuum may, it may not, your junk may not work as it works down here on the planet Earth.

So there'll have to be.

Why not?

There'll have to be ulterior motivation.

Why would not?

Because you're in fucking...

What's it called?

G-Force?

Yeah, zero gravity.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Have you ever fucking had an erection in a river?

Oh, no.

Well, the next thing is so easy.

I'm sure there's not a lot of people that have.

Oh, astronauts

have had experiments up there.

What do you mean?

You start going into space and be like, what's all over the fucking room in here?

No, no, no.

They don't.

They don't ejaculate it all over too.

All the fucking computers are all fucking covered in ejaculation.

I don't think so.

That's only when it hits the ground.

Then, you know, gravity's gone.

Comes back.

You thought that one was good.

Check this shit out.

Brian?

I'm going to try a hard one.

I'm going to go fifth grade chemistry.

Get that off the board.

Fifth grade chemistry.

Sunday, you want to run and get us pizzas?

Yeah, son.

I don't want to get some pizzas.

You'd be doing me a favor.

That's why I belong on the streets.

Not playing this stupid fucking ding-dong game.

Put me on the streets, bitch.

That's the next one's episode.

Sunday on the streets.

Tough.

All right.

How many electrons does an atom of carbon have?

I thought it was giddy.

I thought it was giddy.

One.

Incorrect.

Hmm.

I'll say two.

You got to buzz in.

It did buzz in.

Yeah, he was

Sunday.

I said two.

Two.

Incorrect.

Okay.

Or three.

I may as well say three.

Three.

Incorrect.

The correct number was six.

All right.

Told Told you, I don't know a shit about chemistry.

Now, guys, after the first buzz-in, you have to buzz in again if I say incorrect.

Gotcha.

Okay.

Frank, did you know that one?

No, I'll be honest, I didn't.

Oh, okay.

Okay.

I am going to just pick now because everybody got that wrong.

Okay.

So I'm just going to go with third-grade math.

I know no one's picked math yet, right?

What grade?

Third grade math?

Third grade.

Well, at least it's off the border.

Oh, it's going to be like.

Well, how old is a third grader?

Probably like nine.

That wasn't a question.

Yeah, that was the question.

That wasn't a question.

I know what you're thinking.

There is no way the next clip could be funnier than the one I just heard.

But you'd be wrong.

We made our mission and decent.

We made our mission.

We're back in the spaceship background.

Is that a space stroke?

We've made our descent and have arrived on the planet Trinity Master.

Okay, now obviously the other aliens coming in from pleasing the master.

He comes into scene wiping his mouth.

What the fuck?

Blowjobs.

I understand.

It's like a real dark, sinister sight.

It's a dark, sinister person.

Who are the aliens?

Are they...

Who did you think of?

Who are your main?

Well, again,

just say it.

You know who it is.

That's not true.

You know they're not.

Don't say Mike and Ming.

I didn't say that.

I did not say Mike and Ming.

You did.

So it looks like you're talking about.

I hope Master is happy now.

Have you found the location of the life forms, morons?

Yes, Master.

The life forms are just over the dunes to our east.

Good.

Prepare for assault.

Send the signal to our fleet and inform them to stand stand by and await my orders

Yes, master

What are you looking at you want seconds?

No master

carry on then bitch

I never would have dreamed are you laughing are you laughing

you want to get raped together?

That's right.

It's really weird.

It would not occur to me to write something like that.

I mean like you want another black guy to do the dishes.

I gotta throw in something in there.

Yeah, Why not a sexual assault?

It doesn't have to be multiple rapes.

Why not?

Domestic abuse.

You know, like, I figured, like, in aliens, in space, no one can hear you scream.

Well, you know, here, anything goes.

No one can hear you report a sexual assault to the police.

Well, the only one to report it to is the master.

So,

wow.

Yeah, I happened to be the police sergeant as well.

You want it, you came to me.

You were like, hey, I want to do a Hanukkah special.

You never, you neglected to say they were like, yeah, and I got this real like great idea about like how we're gonna have a whole bunch of fucking sexual

I was inspired while watching Deathwish to write this Hanukkah special.

You know,

I get a basketball rape enough for me.

I thought there was a lot of chances on the Island Abyss Mattoy.

It's really good that you can be banging each other.

That's what I wanted to do.

Hermie never walked around with his mouth.

He's like, I think.

There's a reason he took the bumble's teeth out, and I know what it is.

Plus, never got serviced by the L.

Never know.

Ho, ho, ho.

He's like, imagine if You're Without a Santa Claus met.

Oh, I don't know.

50 Shades of Gray.

Irreversible, because I think they pussied out with only two rapes in that movie.

Or Requiem from a Dream.

Yeah.

Some Clockwork Orange.

Ass to Ass Master.

It's a fucking desert planet.

How are the two of you slimy pieces of shit going to survive in that heat?

I don't know why I even have you two dopey motherfuckers around.

Useless!

I hunger for fear.

This planet will have to suffice for now.

Set course for the planet, morons.

Wait, is that planet comma morons?

Okay.

I hunger for fear.

This planet will have to suffice for now.

Set course for the planet, morons.

I'll be in my chambers.

Master sounded displeased with us.

Indeed, why don't you please the master while I set course for the planet and mine the ship?

Fuck that.

I don't like how master looks at me and that laugh after he's done.

It is your turn after all.

I pleased master the last time.

Are you inferring that the master gets

by the alien straight-up side?

He's just saying

at first I thought it was like a funny like phrasing that he didn't intend, but then as it goes on to see how each of them are victimized Weinstein style, kind of.

Sunday.

Like, where's the potted plant?

Dude, what has happened to you?

I mean,

you know, you know all the subreddit lingo, and now

you're creating characters that get raped by a space.

I'm turning into Brian.

Well, that is it.

Wow.

And it's something.

I am spent.

My stomach hurts from laughing.

There was that much stuff to fulfill an hour, huh?

Oh, my God.

There was too much stuff.

We could have filled three hours.

But if people would like to hear more of the All-New Sunday Jeff Show, they can definitely go to patreon.com slash T-E-S-D, sign up, and get access to the entire back catalog of not just the All-New Sunday Jeff show, but all the other great Patreon content.

I mean, you just heard snippets.

One hour.

One hour.

Yeah, you just heard snippets from episodes.

The whole show.

That's just one show.

That's just one show.

Yeah, the whole episode is full of yucks like that.

And it's not like a trailer for a movie where you just see the best parts.

These are the best parts, but there's lots of other best parts out there as well.

Tell them, Steve, Dave.

All right, Sunday Jeff, we need it now.

Control Yuma.

All righty.

Good thing.

All right.

Okay, all right, all right, enough.

Before we go, the all-new Sunday Jeff show with Sunday Jeff would like to thank the following people for their contributions to the show: Jay Sarge for his wonderful theme.

Theme.

Theme.

Theme.

Theme.

It's those pickles, man.

The red one pickles.

I already say you redo it.

He's still in Swedish chef mode.

It doesn't even fit on his head.

You fit the show.

It's awesome.

No, man, it gets included.

Jay Sarge for his wonderful theme.

D-Clan.

Wait a minute.

Wait a minute.

That's not better than meme.

Theme, I said.

Theme.

D-Clan for his processing.

Yo, D-Clan in the house.

That's right.

Zeklin.

Oh, look.

All right.

You're thinking of that tranny bargain.

That's right.

You're right.

Zachlyn.

Sorry, Declan.

Sorry, Dan.

Yes, sorry.

And slow down.

Take a breath.

And bring some nice energy for this.

You're really, this show has gone wonderfully.

It could have gone better than I ever dreamed.

You want to run through the names one more time?

Congratulate Ginnem also.

Yes, congratulations, Giddem, for knowing what red pickles taste.

Do you have goddamn stagecoach catch?

Talking over everyone, just trying to get it out of the way.

Calm down.

Lead off with congratulating Giddam.

All right.

Congratulations, Gidham.

Thank you, Jeff.

For winning such a prestige.

Stop putting a mortal.

Why are you telling me to do it then?

Take a breath.

Take a breath.

Because I'm not finished giving instructions.

Okay.

When you're done, say over.

Now,

yes.

When I'm ready for you to begin, I'll say go.

There you go.

So, calm down,

bring some appropriate energy, congratulate Giddam on winning the Golden Chef Hat Award,

and then get into our thank yous.

And the names are Jay Sarge, the word is theme, and the other name is Declan.

Okay.

Go.

Well, I'd like to congratulate you, Giddam, on winning the Golden Chef Hat Award.

Thank you, Jeff.

I couldn't have done it without you.

Thank you.

Without me.

Without you.

Well, it's the all-new Sunday Jeff show.

Well, why don't we thank Mike?

Mike for preparing these dishes.

No, no, no.

You get to the end, he's going on the list.

Well,

I want to thank him now because I did like the second dish.

The second dish was my favorite ever.

Totally train wreck.

You're going off script.

All right, so what?

Okay, so before we go, the all-new Sunday Jeff Show with Sunday Jeff would like to thank the following people for their contributions to the show.

Jay Sharge for his wonderful deed.