#463: Who’s The Turkey Now?

Yeah, I was willing to throw I was willing to fucking throw it down with that guy.

Yeah, I wouldn't bought his girlfriend.

Yeah, I don't know.

She kind of looked like Swamp Thing, though.

No.

I can't kiss my mommy.

I can't kiss my dad on the lips.

Tell them Steve, Dave.

Hello, and welcome to this week's edition of Tell'em Steve.

Why, hello, Q.

What's going on?

Hello, Walt.

What's up?

Hello, Tesde Town residents.

What's going on?

How's it going?

What is this?

What's going on?

I'm trying new intros, you know?

Yeah.

Yeah.

Trying to sound like an overnight DJ.

Yeah, a little bit like the, what do they call her, the night bird, Allison Steele?

In the fog.

In the fog?

Who was the?

Adrian Barbara?

Yeah.

That was a soothing voice, wasn't it?

She was good.

Soothing voice and soothing boobs on that woman.

Very soothing everywhere you looked at her.

It was lovely.

I watched it not too long ago, and I told Mary Beth, I was like, you got to understand at one time this woman was like a sex symbol.

She was one of the hottest things.

Her.

She holds up.

You got to YouTube, her very first appearance on Johnny Carson when she first makes it to Hollywood.

Johnny Carson, it's all he can do not to jump over the desk because she's wearing this like light blue,

super low-cut dress that's so tight on like real breasts at that point, like 1972.

There's no such thing as fake ones.

And he looks like he is like,

he just cannot control himself.

He can't even speak.

Even Johnny Carson.

A guy who probably would have been exposed to plenty of beautiful women is just like beyond

clip.

I've got a touch.

I know that you want to watch that clip.

Yeah.

I buy it because she had that effect on me.

When I was a kid and she was in a movie,

I don't know why I just said it as if I wasn't on that train the entire time.

Like,

she was always so hot, like, in everything she was in.

But it's.

She was in a creep show, too, right?

Wasn't it?

Creep show she was in.

She was in Escape from New York.

By the time she had done Swamp Thing, though, she kind of looked like Swamp Thing, though.

No.

No.

She still looks good.

She said Swamp Thing.

Come on.

I don't know.

The new swamp thing or the old one?

It was the one.

The original one.

In the original swamp.

I thought she looked good in that, no?

Well, she didn't look like her 72.

Well, nobody did.

No, which is not fair.

Yeah.

She gave us so much.

Thanks, bud.

I just needed the box.

Is the box anything?

Yeah.

I just wanted you to check it.

Right on the air, which is

great.

Q Wants up, just so everyone knows what's going on.

If he wants to buy his head solo and carbon, get him thought it would be a good idea in the middle of the show to come over and let him check it for flaws.

flaws.

There are no flaws at the fucking stash.

That's right.

Well, there's one.

He just tried to show Q a fucking merchant.

Keep it in my mouth.

Thanks.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Did you really think that Q would be the type of customer who would be like, hey, guys, when I got home,

I kind of noticed a slight imperfection, and I need to make a return on that.

And if he did, you would have screamed at me for not having him check it.

It's a gift.

It's not for me.

It's a Christmas gift.

So,

you know.

Who's getting that, Q, my buddy Eric.

He's a big Star Wars guy.

He must not be a big Tom Steve Dave listener because you would have spoiled it.

Oh, he doesn't listen.

Fuck that guy, man.

Yeah, fuck that guy.

He's a great guy.

Yes, I like him.

He's a great guy.

Yeah.

What did

so?

How'd Thanksgiving go?

I expect no apples were japped, no hula hands were visited.

Not this year, no.

No.

Very quiet, very

subdued, low-key.

Barely had maybe like three slivers of turkey.

That's it, huh?

Yeah.

I think my turkey days may be behind me.

Well, what happened, don't you?

Fucked up.

I just heard.

You kind of disagreed with me.

Might be getting that kind of

where I got to watch

how much turkey I consume.

Is turkey known to be

to

produce those results?

Not usually.

That's what I'm saying.

Maybe I'm just maybe crossing over that line of age where I got to watch it.

Turkey gets to it.

even the blandest fucking white meat ever.

Where white bread could be

put me in put me in traction for a couple days.

Wow.

What about you, Q?

Did you get knocked down by some turkey?

No, actually, I'll tell you what, though, the second day leftovers,

I don't know what happened, but I had the shits really bad for 24 hours.

Get out of here.

Not on Thanksgiving.

You too?

Yeah.

Holy shit.

I had an epidemic.

Thanksgiving was fine.

The day after Thanksgiving was fine.

And then I ate the leftovers.

Leftovers.

And something happened where, for the first,

from the second I woke up eight in the morning till really almost seven o'clock at night,

I just had that cramped thing where it just squeezes you out.

Oh, yeah.

Yeah.

Wow.

Not me.

How'd you do, champ?

Well, first I was invited to Pam and Edgar's, and there were like 10 people going, which I thought was not a great idea.

And then like two, three days prior to Thanksgiving, Pam was like, Yeah, we're not going to have it here.

Uh,

now it was going to be Darren and his crew, which is like five more people, Hunter and Autumn, my niece and nephew, and then Hunter's girlfriend and Hunter's girlfriend's mom, which is like, it's a lot of people for Pam's house.

And then she calls and she's like, Yeah,

we're not going to have it this year because of the COVID and blah, blah, blah.

And I'm like, Okay, that's understandable.

Then I went to three days.

Three days before Thanksgiving.

It might have even been two.

That's a late, at the late hour.

That's like at the, that's close to the witching hour before you can really pull the plug because people have already made their plans.

Like, what the fuck?

Right.

They made their plans.

They're going to,

you know, you got to unfreeze a new turkey.

Yeah.

All kinds of shit.

So what scared her?

Like, what scared her at that point?

I'm pretty sure it was Eric.

She got on the phone with Eric and Eric's like, no, don't do it.

You guys are old and there's COVID out there.

Let me fuck up everybody's Thanksgiving from across the country like a little dickhead.

Then I fucking find out that Darren went to California to hang out with Eric over Thanksgiving.

So he was never going to go anyway.

Oh, he was.

Him and his crew.

He had never planned to even show up.

He was never going to show up.

So that's minus like six people.

Now, if Darren and his crew don't go, and my sister had been exposed to COVID at that point, she just got a negative test, so she's fine.

But that meant that Hunter and Autumn, who had been around her,

couldn't have gone anyway.

Right, so it could have been just you guys.

It could have been just the three of us.

Now,

that means she disinvited only the three of us.

So she knew everyone else couldn't have gone.

Oh, shit.

And then when I brought a couple of steak bones to the dog, and they've never done this before, like Edgar comes outside real fast and shit.

And I was like, oh, hey, I brought these over for Merlin.

They didn't want you coming in, huh?

And then Pam comes outside, too.

Almost like they're blocking the door on me.

Yeah.

And they don't want me in.

They didn't want me inside.

Eric scared them.

Wow.

You don't like him taking that seriously?

Got to do it, I guess.

So you just kiss them from like the like, blow them a kiss.

Goodbye.

You don't have to fucking put them a kiss on the lips.

I get it from there for the next half hour from across the street.

I hope they come back outside again.

I can't kiss my mommy.

I can't kiss my dad on the lips.

So

Mary Beth goes to the store, and like, we don't want a whole turkey.

We just want a turkey breast.

So she goes, she gets all this shit.

She brings back this thing that's, I'm like, that's not a fucking turkey breast.

Look at this.

That's not an Adrian Barbeau fucking turkey.

No.

No way.

And it doesn't even say

on it.

Yeah, it's definitely a Twiggy.

You're like out fucking obscuring me with the fucking callbacks today.

Adrian Barbeau, Twiggy.

Twiggy hasn't been mentioned in decades.

Since 1969.

I always cared about Twiggy.

You never forget.

You never forget, I guess.

So she brings home this unidentified breast of something.

It doesn't say anything on the package, but it does.

Is it turkey?

No, it looks like chicken.

I'm pretty sure it's chicken.

But I'm like, all right, well, you know, let's just go get a turkey breast.

I'd rather have turkey on

it.

Traditionalists.

Yeah, definitely.

Traditionalist.

She's back with some sort of foul, but it wasn't the correct foul.

So you could have been like,

who the fuck knows what it was?

Does this surprise you?

This is a little bit of a.

This surprises me.

It really does.

Because I guess for the most part, I would have bet the farm that he'd be like,

what is it?

I don't care.

I'll eat it.

Yeah,

but not in a way that I just can't imagine you being like, no, it's Thanksgiving.

It has to be done this way.

I kind of felt that way.

And I was in a huff about it.

I got into a huff.

And I was just like, it was the day before Thanksgiving.

I was like, why have you not gone and gotten that turkey yet?

I was like, it's all going to be sold out.

Right.

And she's like, I'll go, I'll go later on.

But then she goes, she's taking a nap, and I'm like, I'm going to go get the turkey.

And she's like, why?

And I was like, because I don't want to stay in the goddamn house all day.

I was like, I can go to a food store and get a goddamn turkey breast.

Can I?

So I'm blowing up.

Happy Thanksgiving.

Yeah, I'm all excited about it.

It really stimulated me.

Where's your gratitude?

So I go over to Food Town.

By yourself, or you went as a family.

No, no, no.

I went by myself.

Oh, that's even worse.

Went over there by myself, and I go to the turkey section.

They have the whole turkeys.

Then they have a turkey breast next to it.

And so I grab the turkey breast and I buy it and I bring it back home.

Were you relieved, though, that they had turkey?

I was.

I'm sure you're applauding.

Were you kind of hoping?

Kind of hoping there was no turkey so you could come back to the house and be like, great, no, no turkey.

Well, what happened?

Yes, I wish you were.

You're a greedy Canadian goose, or whatever the hell this shit is.

Well, so I bring it back, and I'm like, here's the turkey.

And so she's looking at it, you know, and she's like, this is chicken.

Because I didn't have my goddamn glasses when I got over there.

It was right next to the turkey.

I'm like, this must be turkey breast.

And it was fucking chicken.

Oh, God.

Please say that everybody in this moment played it perfectly.

Did you get more angry or did it?

I was like, you got to be fucking kidding me.

And she's just looking at me and I'm like, fuck you too.

She didn't say anything, but I knew what she was saying without saying it.

Of course.

So like a good wife, she cooked cooked that fucking chicken for Thanksgiving.

It was different.

We had everything else.

We had all the other equipment.

So it felt like you didn't even celebrate Thanksgiving because there was no turkey on the table?

I mean, on the outside I did, but on the inside, it wasn't Thanksgiving.

I knew it was Thanksgiving.

I knew I fucked up and bought chicken.

Yeah, if you just left it where it was, it would have been her fault.

Yeah, but instead I doubled down on the chicken.

It's so much better than if it was turkey.

You had time to go back and just get a turkey.

I mean, why didn't you just.

no?

We discovered it on Thanksgiving.

Oh, yeah, she went to cook it.

And at least it was marked.

I was like, what the fuck is it then?

She's like, I don't know.

She's turning it over, turning it over, and then on the back, it's like first ingredients, like chicken.

I can't see it, though, because I don't have any glasses with me.

And it's shameful.

I've asked people, like,

I was in Bonado Republic the other day, wanting to buy a sweatshirt, and I had to go up to somebody, and I'm like, can you tell me how much this costs?

Because I want to overpay.

And they're looking at me like, all right, like

it's simple.

I do, but I forgot it in the car.

It's a cell phone that you like.

You don't have a magnifying app.

Yeah, it is like you use your camera to magnify.

Apple made an app now.

It's just magnifying.

Oh, really?

Yeah.

Dude, I used it yesterday.

I was so sure of myself in that grocery store that I didn't even bother checking.

It's right next to the turkey.

Here it is.

Magnifier.

Oh, yeah.

You just hit that, and it works the camera where it's like, it's fucking pretty good.

Oh, wow.

I imagine if you possibly looked a little unhinged at when you brought up to the checkout counter, you know, maybe if you didn't look so like Irate, she might have been like, sir, you do realize this is chicken if you're buying this for Thanksgiving.

I know.

Can't be proven wrong in front of her end, Mary Beth.

Having a little chicken for Thanksgiving, are we?

Yeah, so that was my Thanksgiving.

And then I just like watch TV, just watch movies and shit.

Yeah.

I zoomed with my family a little bit, and then after 10 minutes, I was like,

all right.

It's like when you go to the hospital to visit somebody, you're like, I wouldn't normally have an hour-long conversation with you, so it feels weird, you know?

Yeah.

Goddamn chicken.

I've been watching Mandalorian.

I almost caught up with you guys.

Oh, yeah?

What do you think?

I like it.

The child's a little much at times

with the cooing.

And

the babbling and shit.

But overall, I like it.

Yeah,

you're not in the second season yet.

Yeah, second season.

Oh, I just, the last episode of the second season of like season, episode four.

Oh, so you're there.

Oh, yeah, I'm caught up.

So you caught the little Deadwood, the little.

Yes.

How great was that?

That was really good.

And you know who the bartender was?

The guy with the makeup on was Dan Doherty.

Oh, I did.

He did a little Deadwood reunion, yeah.

Wow.

Yeah, I noticed there were a couple of people from Deadwood, and it was Timothy Oliphant.

That guy will never play anything other than a sheriff or whatever.

He shouldn't or something.

Well, he was on that Santa Claria to diet.

I never saw it.

I don't want to see him unless he's playing a cowboy or something like that.

Yeah.

But I thought it was pretty.

I do like Mandalorian.

I understand the complaints about it, but I do like it.

Did you join in to cancel Gina Carano?

No.

I don't get that.

I don't care what anybody's.

How could you want to cancel somebody because they're like, I don't believe in masks?

It's just an opinion.

It may not be a problem.

Oh, is that why?

I thought she was in the trans thing.

That's what it said, but I couldn't find any anti-trans.

She did something.

I don't know.

I think it's just, I love how it's just like, support women unless they don't think like we think.

And then it's fire them.

Yeah, and then it's like, literally, get rid of this girl who got a dream job.

Yeah.

But she has to fight aliens.

They feel she's doing more harm than good, I guess.

So there you go.

It's not me.

I've never been the person that's like,

my politics have to align with.

Not even politics.

My views on life have to align with whoever's creating the art.

Well, let me say it this way: I've never been like, I only want to consume art made by people who think the way that I think.

Right.

I find that a very odd position.

A lot of people have it, though.

A lot of people have it.

Yeah, it seems a lot of people are like, you either agree with me, like, you know, join or die.

That kind of attitude.

I mean, it's not like I'm like, they're like, well, here's fucking, it's not like I would have been like, well, I'll read Hitler's book because clearly there's a line.

But I guess that line's like just different for people.

But that's.

That's not it.

I would have kept, I would have, I still would have been watching Kevin Spacey movies if they put him out.

I would have have been like,

he's kind of a sick asshole, but I mean, he can act, I guess.

But he was found to not have been.

Or at least they never went forward.

All that shit with the kid he was allegedly fondling.

I also don't know how fucking, what's his name?

Brian Singer still works.

He was like the OG, like diddling little boys.

That's an occupation.

Everybody says that about him.

It's almost like it can't be a mistake.

Yeah.

Yeah.

But made good X-Men movies.

Yeah, it is weird how people pick and choose who they're going to go after.

Well, for me, it was

two big things on that of me are the Beatles.

Because

John Lennon admitted to beating some of his girlfriends.

And

so that's one that I'm always like, well, that's pretty curious that everybody kind of sweeps that under the rug.

He was a admitted woman beater and everybody still goes for it.

And the other one is...

Hunter S.

Thompson, who is one of my favorite authors of all time, was a fucking maniac by every standard, but he's still revered.

So it's weird how it picks and chooses, I guess.

Yeah, maybe they're just so under the radar at this point because it happened.

I mean, Lenin happened so long ago.

I mean, who's going to cancel the Beatles?

I mean, come on.

Right.

So there are people uncancelable.

Uncancelable?

I think so.

Yeah.

It's good.

Get him's uncancelable.

Him and Conway.

Hinem and Conway.

Get him and Conway are

uncancelable.

Uncancelable?

Is that a random thing?

Uncancelable?

Cancelable?

You

getting ready to move into your new house, huh?

Oh, this strike Kev made the announcement is this after

20 years.

Yeah, 20 years right here.

20.

98.

Yeah, 20 some years.

The stash is moving.

10 stores down, 65 Broad Street instead of 35 Broad Street.

And in that location is going to be a little

TSD satellite store.

A little outpost.

Yeah, it's very exciting.

We have our own footprint dedicated.

Our own little room with a, we're going to have a green screen in there.

We're going to have our table in there.

We're going to have a wall painted green for green screen.

Yeah,

the entire wall will be green.

For all that green screen action.

Yeah, if you're on Patreon, you know what we're talking about.

Yeah, well, you sent me a picture of a wardrobe department the other day.

We have some real deal shit going on.

Yeah,

it's going to be bitching.

Like I I said, we're going to have some merch finally.

We're going to sell at the stash, some Tell them Steve Dave merch that you could buy, some new products.

We're hoping that it all goes off with a hitch.

You know, hoping there's no shutdown in Jersey that delays the opening in January.

People would fucking riot in the streets.

Tell them Steve Dave store doesn't open.

Yeah, we're going to have some new, all-new product that you could buy that you can't buy anywhere else.

You know,

some new shirt designs, new four-color demons trucker hat.

I know people love the trucker hat.

Oh, yeah.

So we're going to do a trucker, a four-color demons hat.

Oh, that's cool.

We're also going to put.

Same company that makes these?

Yep.

Because I got to tell you, these hats are the best.

OFA, the same.

Yeah.

Legacy.

Yeah.

They're great.

But yeah, we're going to do a whole bunch of

that kill dance shit we normally push on people.

Oh, you can't even joke.

I read on Reddit that it's like, they even admit that Patreon sucks.

It's like, fucking idiot.

It's a joke.

Well, we're like, oh, we can't believe they pay for this, you know, or something.

Like, you know, if you joke around.

It's like, I can believe they pay for it.

We did so much over this past weekend, right?

Oh, my God.

This week.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Over four days.

Yeah, you were texting me.

I was getting messages from the front line of NOM.

It was so fun.

We did some KISS shit that was so fucking fun.

Yeah.

Like really fun to do.

Using the green screen, I might add.

Oh, yeah.

But we're also like all the stuff that we're going to be selling and the exclusive studio store.

Then in February, we're going to

open that up to people they can order on our website.

Oh, really?

Merch, yeah.

Oh, that's great.

Moving away from merch table.

It'll be all like in-house.

Well, we're going to still kind of keep the stuff at merch table, too.

But there'll be stuff that you can only get on our site, though.

Store-exclusive.

Yeah, store-exclusive stuff.

People love that.

Because I heard that people who aren't on the gift tiers of Patreon have been I've been getting some emails over the over the last couple of years being like, you know, you've you've neglected

the people who can't afford merchandise, you know, by solely, you know, putting out cool stuff.

I think we put out some of the coolest shit, though.

I see what they're saying, though.

They're saying, like, well, we want to buy cool stuff.

Yes, so we're going to try to offer some cool stuff to people who aren't on those gift tiers.

And, you know, it's all, you know, we're not fucking reinventing the wheel.

It's just t-shirts, but they're cool fucking t-shirts.

They're badass t-shirts.

Tee, some keychains.

Yeah, like I said, the trucker hat.

You know, there'll be skulls.

We're definitely going to have skulls.

You're one-stop shopping for skulls.

I told my daughter, because my daughter

is going to be handling the mail order of this new merchandise.

And I said, we got to finally put all the skulls together because

there was no need to put the skulls together.

Like, take the skulls out of the little bag, put them in the cardboard box, put the straw in, and then put the money in.

Because we didn't ever have to reorder them.

Like at Merch Table, they never needed a reorder because they never sold.

So so i told her i was like we finally got to put them together now so we can so we can have some to bring to the red bank new location and you can have some here to send out when you need to send some out because they also will be on the website too

and she started to put them together it was even more than i thought was fucking down yard

it was it was just like staggering when i walked into the bedroom and i saw so fucking little boxes of those skulls everywhere so we're probably going to have a blowout of on skulls oh yeah in february when the when the website launches good yeah like when the store opens It's like everybody has special deals when they first open.

Yeah, we're probably going to go at least 10% off those skulls.

Steve, better get down here.

Yeah, we got to do something.

There's something we got to, there's got to be some way to

have an uptick in those skulls.

Something that's got to be done.

I don't know what it is, but we'll think about it from now.

Buy one skull, get four free.

I don't know.

Maybe it's like buy a certain buy three, because we're going to have three new shirt designs along with some of the old favorites from Merch Table.

Maybe if you buy if you buy all three shirts, all the new designs, maybe you get a free skull.

All right.

We'll see what happens.

It's a pretty sweet deal, I'd say.

I mean, we got to just get rid of them at this point.

I fear

that we'll die with them at this point if we don't do something to get rid of them.

Really?

I mean, we're older, too, so it's even more likely.

I don't know what's going on.

If we were a young strapping 20-year-old bucks, maybe we don't sit on it.

I really overestimated the demand for these things, though.

I thought for sure that

we would sell it at first.

I remember telling the guy who made them and painted them, I was like, we'll be doing a reorder soon.

Yeah.

And I was like,

don't fucking take any other jobs, bro.

Don't put your paintbrush away.

Because I know for a fact

we'll be ordering another

palette for these motherfuckers.

He just randomly picks it up his phone.

Hello?

He hasn't heard a call from me in three years.

Hopefully, he started taking other jobs.

Did you think, should we number them?

Like limited edition?

It's too late.

There's something, you know,

half of the run got out the door.

Kate's like, fuck no, I'm not numbering them.

Yeah, exactly.

But he says, should we?

It's like, should somebody else number them?

Should an unspecified employee number them?

Because she's going, like, how much are you going to sell these for?

And I'm like, I don't know.

I just don't know.

Don't question me about these things.

We should give them to Alicia, let her bring them to school, see if she can sell a couple on the side.

There have to be some kids that are into the devil there.

You know,

I was thinking maybe

a redesigning of the box they're in to take our faces off of it.

You think that's what's doing it?

Makes it not as spooky whatever.

Like if she was going to bring it to school, maybe

something without three middle-aged dudes on the box would maybe help to move them to the younger crowd.

But that would just mean sinking more money into them at this point.

And we've got more than enough people.

I've got to have a lotie.

Or just with a piece of brown tape.

It's bad.

It's bad.

Now that has meant, though, that

I've ordered a lot more conservatively on the new product.

Sure.

So we'll see what happens, though.

I'm not going to fucking get caught like I did with the skulls though ever again.

What we've got to do, Q, is write that

skull movie.

Yeah.

And then they'll be in demand.

Then people will wish.

Then people will wish.

Why?

Because you wrote a script.

Well, no, I meant the script would then have to get turned into a movie.

I guess that's the second part.

It's a process that could take usually a decade.

That's right.

I'll just put them back up on the

shelf.

I'm going to go ahead and do it.

A lot of people waiting

on the the skulls to actually turn a profit, like that guy who painted him for the second run.

And now Caitlin has

poor girl.

Now, are you excited about moving?

Like, is it like because the new place looks like it's going to be really cool.

It's much bigger.

It's going to be brand spanking new.

The carpet's going to be or that's going to be no carpet's going to be.

The flooring's going to be new.

Am I excited about moving?

I know moving is actually a pain in the ass.

I meant about actually being in a new location.

It's tough because

on one hand, you could be like, okay,

what does this place need more than anything?

Some new blood, something new, something new to get people to be like,

I got to come see the new stash, you know?

Because so that, on one hand, is, I think, going to be a nice

little kickstart to the new place.

People are going to want to come and see it.

But on the other hand, it's like,

this has been my home away from home for 20 years.

There has been

very few

weeks where I wasn't here at least a couple hours out of the, so it's going to be very strange to not step foot back in here ever again at the end of the month.

A lot of magic was made between these four walls.

Yeah.

Think of it all.

What are you saying?

You got busy in here?

You know what?

At my old job, I hope my old boss isn't listening.

Right.

But

I own that fucker.

My seat is everywhere.

You went through there with fucking one of those

black lights.

It'd be all over.

Yeah,

that was my go-to place because I didn't have a house then.

A lot of kids running around with DNA on their clothes.

But since the stash is open, I was fucking married and had a child's other way.

so there would be no reason.

There would be no reason whatsoever to come in here.

Come on down to the basement there.

Yeah, it's magical.

Yeah, there'd be no reason whatsoever.

Nor would I want to

do any kind of shenanigans here, though.

I remember there was only one time, there was a couple of times I almost got caught there, but there was one time because

so stupid of me, though, but I kept a

what's it called?

Like a sleeping bag.

I kept a sleeping bag there.

They think a homeless guy is fucking living.

Jesus.

Even in the wreck one, they're not there.

He went to Dick's Sporting Goods and got betting.

That's how busy he was getting.

He's like, I'm going to make a capital investment in this thing.

Nice.

So I had, there was this closet where all the sporting equipment was in.

And when I say sporting equipment, it was sporting equipment for children.

So it was like all plastic stuff.

So it was like a plastic wiffle ball bat, a plastic set of bowling pins and a bowling ball,

plastic tennis rackets, kickballs, footballs, just

the closet was always in disarray.

It would always get cleaned like once a month, but for the most, well, not even, but like at the beginning of the summer, it got cleaned.

And then it wouldn't get cleaned again until the beginning of the next summer.

So I shoved a sleeping bag under there, under all that shit, and that's where I knew it was.

It's far better places for me to hide it than there.

And one day,

the boss, who is a really good friend of mine, but I still wouldn't, I wouldn't know how he would take that because I never told him.

He just opened that closet and just started pulling stuff out.

Are you there watching?

And I'm there watching it.

And I'm thinking, like,

he's probably not going to go all the way to the bottom.

And he's just pulling everything out.

And then he pulls a sleeping bag out.

And I'm just like, oh, fuck.

And he just threw it to the side as if, like, it was

meant to be in there.

Wow.

He didn't even, it didn't even like click with him that there was a sleeping bag in there.

Just lower the hockey stick you're about to hit him with.

Yes, but that was that was close that I thought he was going to be like, What the fuck's this doing in here?

Jeez.

I don't know if he would even ask me.

There were so many people in and out of that place that he may not have even thought that it was my sleeping bag.

Except I had stenciled in it Walt.

Yeah, property of Walt, the sex fiend.

Yeah, someone else probably would have been blamed before you.

Yeah.

I went down there one time because I knew he would get busy.

And I was with my friend Rob Gleetz, and he was on the fire department.

Not the fire department, but like the reserve fire department or something.

And he had this huge spotlight with him.

So we were driving around all over town and we would see people that we knew.

And you would see, and you would saw, I didn't have a car at the time, so he saw...

My wife, who was then not my wife, if he saw the car, he knew I was there.

There'd be no reason for that car to be there at 11 o'clock at night.

So we drive by and we see his car there, and we're like, let's pretend he's busted.

So we'd take this high-intensity light point at the window.

And we're like, please come out.

Please come out.

And we just see him in the window.

Which is really stupid in retrospect because if there was a customer, there were shy in the light.

It didn't get that far, though.

I was like, you know what would be funny?

Yeah, that's it.

I would have these elaborate setups.

with there was a room upstairs where there was kind of nothing was in it.

And I would set up the bag, and I would have a little T V that had a little VCR in it.

Yeah.

And we would rent movies and get something to eat.

And under the guys, we'll watch a movie horror up there.

You know, but like, I mean, it was like, it was, you know, for a guy who was only making like 30 bucks a week.

Yeah.

It sounds like a kind of a fun, youthful setup.

I like it.

That was our place

for many a year.

That in the pond, the little duck pond.

Yeah, the duck pond, yeah.

But even, you're right, even if you're to revisit it, like you go to the duck pond, it's like, oh, why?

Yeah, it's just there's no.

And if you get caught

at the duck pond.

Oh, I got caught many times.

Yeah, cops would come by, and they always, I never thought the cops were as angry as much as they would want to see whoever you're with naked.

They always got those lights in the fucking windows.

Never got a ticket or anything, but boy, there were so many times

where they would pull you out and be like, what are you doing?

Pull me out of the car.

And then ask her the same questions: like, what are you doing?

Like, to see if we matched up.

So, can you see my erect penis?

What do you fucking think I'm doing?

Shine that light a little lower.

You'll figure it out.

Getting it on.

He would just be like, You got to get out of here, this private property.

Always, you know.

Was it, though?

It was on the side of a street.

Well, there was a house right next to it, though.

Believe me, if I own that house, you look out the window, you're like, see that bus going up and down.

I would be like, I would be pretty annoyed, too.

That car's back again.

It looks like they're watching a movie in the car.

No, never in the car.

Well, Walt, I hope she never left her underpants in your car because

she wouldn't need Miundis then.

Melen.

That's right.

I don't know if that wasn't the right segment.

All right, let me try again.

Let me try again.

So after you ripped her britches off.

No, I want to talk about Miundis for a minute.

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And this is where we talk about our personal anecdotes.

All right, hold on one second.

I'm going to pull this out of the bag.

Okay.

I mean,

how much more...

There you go.

How much more can we, how many more personal anecdotes can we give about Miundis?

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I think you just did it.

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Myundis.

Hopefully everyone's forgotten about that ham-handed segue into the spot.

I think you're okay.

We wrapped it up here.

You really

came back and pulled it together with the third bottoms are the tops.

Oh, thank you.

Yeah, you think I won people back over?

Well, I think you saved it.

It was nosediving, and you've steered it right back up into the...

It's a hard job, though.

Oh, yeah.

Every week, you're the one that's got to find the segue and get in there.

Yeah, this week, all right.

Maybe a little stilted, but we got the change.

We got seven days from now to figure out the next

segue.

We got to give it some more thoughts.

Even Tom Brady's been having a rough, rough COVID.

Yeah.

Supposedly.

It's tough on the bottom.

Everybody flaming him as if it's fucking all his fault.

But do they credit him when they win, though?

Yeah, they do.

Yeah.

You got to take it then.

Yeah,

he hasn't complained once.

No, I meant you.

You've got to take it.

I know he can handle it.

Yeah, but there's a lot of issues going on down there in Tampa that are not all his fault.

Is he playing great?

No.

Is it his fault they're not winning?

I mean, it's certainly not all his fault.

Now, do you think it's the I mean, because he's on a totally different team.

So if he's winning with

New England, but

they're asking him to do things that he he has never been really

great at, which is like being a mad bomber,

like throwing the ball 40 yards downfield constantly.

And that's not his game.

His game was like he would pick you apart slowly, like he was death by a million cuts.

He would be throwing these

outs to the running back.

You have these checkdowns, and now he's just like they're forcing him to throw the ball down the field.

Which are low percentage plays, though, when you're trying to throw the ball, you know, 50 yards downfield constantly.

And I just don't think the coach

is the right fit for a 43-year-old Tom Brady.

Do you think he's done after this?

No.

I think that coach may be done.

I think that coach may be done.

I think maybe they try to bring in a guy who

knows what the like the strengths of

a 43-year-old Tom Brady at this point and go with those strengths rather than being like, okay,

you're the greatest.

Now play like you're you know, play like a way you've never played before, though.

Yeah.

And which is startling that they

weren't on the same page to begin with.

Well, I mean, could they be like, we're going to get this guy in?

He's the greatest of all time.

We're going to let him do whatever he wants to do.

They kind of did let him do what he wants to do in terms of the roster.

He wanted to bring in

some of the guys he's had success with in the past, like Gronkowski and a guy he's fallen in love with, but really hasn't played with all that much.

And

Brown, I can't remember the guy's first name, but he's kind of a psycho, though.

He's had a lot of problems, and he got suspended.

But he wanted him really badly, so they brought him in, but still not clicking.

Antonio Brown, and it's just not clicking, though, right now.

But it doesn't matter because

there's one, I don't know if you ever heard of this guy called Mahomes.

No.

It's like a man amongst boys.

Like, there's nobody going to beat this guy.

Jose Mahomes was the new Tom Brady, right?

I said this when Tom Brady beat him two years ago.

Right, yeah, I remember.

That this guy is going to to fucking break all his records

and maybe the only guy that has a chance of winning as many Super Bowls as he has because

I've never seen anything like this guy.

He's just, it's like he's playing a video game.

Wow.

And everybody else doesn't know how to play the video game.

Jeez.

He's fucking awesome.

Like, want to play that video game and start with all these teenagers that are fucking constantly knocking you down.

Yes.

That's what it looks like.

You know, he is at ease and he could just do whatever he wants to do

at whim.

That's it.

And I don't know if there's any.

any, I thought the Saints could beat him because a team that's going to beat him has to put up 40 points, I think, which is startling.

That means they can never have a punt or a turnover.

They've got to score on every possession to beat him.

And that puts an unbelievable amount of pressure on the other team's offense that knows that that kind of

error margin is so razor thin

because you have to score 40 points to beat this guy.

Wow.

It must be a joy because you know what you're looking at when you see that.

It's not a a joy because I want Tom Brady to be that forever.

That for sure.

Sure.

But I know it's unreal.

I mean, you know how Tom goes.

All right, like Tyson just had that exhibition back.

Yeah.

I heard he actually didn't do bad.

I heard like for his age and everything.

He did it.

But

it made me be like, let me look at videos of Tyson in his prime because I forget what it looked like.

And it's on.

It's a tiger.

It's a lion.

I showed Sage recently.

We sat there and watched fight after fight that Tyson had because she's real into boxing and shit.

It's It's unreal.

The dude's size and just it looks he looks, he looks like a brick wall.

You can't get a hit on him.

And he knows it, that he knows he's untouchable.

He knows that there's not a chance that he was moving so fast.

He was avoiding every punch and then knocking you out with one punch.

I couldn't believe it.

Yeah, the punches that he throws, you're like, holy shit, that might have killed me.

Is there any scenario?

Any scenario, be it

obviously in a boxing match, it's not going to happen.

But any other scenario, in which is any sort of fight that you can conceive of, that I

win against Mike Tyson.

Win.

Win.

I thought you just mean to stay conscious for a round.

No, actually, win, yeah.

Cheating's allowed.

All right, but then you, then you would have, he would, you would have to turn him into,

remember that, remember that Metallica One video?

Oh, that old, that old fucking

doesn't have arms or legs, and then you beat the shit out of my

fucking torso, my Tyson.

It's like if there's a bar fight,

right?

And I have the opportunity to grab at weapons and like.

Oh, you have a gun?

Well, let's, I mean, obviously.

You can beat Mike Tyson in a gun.

If he doesn't have a gun in a gunfight, yeah, you'll win.

Bet I got him.

That's the scenario.

Let's just say there's a typical bar.

Okay.

Right?

And I don't think I can either.

So it's not, that's not what I'm saying.

But I'm just.

If there's a typical bar and Mike Tyson and me got into an argument for whatever reason, and he's like, I'm going to beat the shit out of this guy.

What recourse do I have aside from just getting beaten into paste?

Is there a scenario where using my wits,

there is.

Yeah.

You think so, right?

Like Richard Pryor, when

he was in jail, he said he used to make people laugh.

That's how

you can get the shit beaten out of him.

Okay.

I used to do some impractical jokes and shit.

But you don't think he recognizes you?

No, no.

This is just, this is just all, everything's even.

I like foul.

Yeah.

I'll be like, you're going to die for that, Tyson.

Or is any scenario that I'm in a fight with that guy just end in my doom?

I'm surprised.

I'm surprised.

Have you contemplated this?

Oh, yeah.

Really?

I don't know.

I just don't.

I don't know.

I mean, a street fight's different than a fucking

point, right?

So, and you have, you've probably been in more street fights than Tyson.

I don't know about that.

Yeah, he was a mugger for a while.

But

you've been, but wait a minute.

You're turning me around on this.

Because

didn't you get your tooth knocked out in Germany and you just smiled?

Yeah.

Oh, I used to be able to take a beating, but not Tyson punches.

I've taken on dudes bigger than me and won, but not that level.

We were in Key West and I saw him confront a guy.

Totally in the wrong.

Totally in the wrong.

Confront a guy that's like twice his size, like going up to him, like chest to chest.

I don't think at the time I was drunk.

No, we were on our way to getting drunk.

Yeah, we were on our way.

But he wasn't there yet.

No.

Yeah, he doesn't back down.

I was willing to fucking throw down with that guy.

I would have fought his girlfriend.

Yeah.

I take it back.

You know what?

I think he might be so stunned

that

the guy from Practical Jokers wants to throw down.

Yeah.

And is saying, like, I'm going to fucking fuck you up, Tyson.

And, like, let's go.

And you take your shirt shirt off, and you're fucking

around.

He's like, shadow boxing and shit.

You know what?

You may have the upper hand because you are a brawler, a street brawler.

No.

You've seen the muscle on them, though, right?

There's a referee there.

There's boxing gloves.

Q doesn't fucking deal with that.

Yeah, that pussy shit.

Q's a bare knuckle fighter.

Dude, I'm in the trenches.

When's the last fight you got into?

What would you say?

It's been a while, right?

Last time you're in the cargo, probably.

It's been a long time.

I was definitely on the fire department, but early going.

So maybe 2006, 2007.

I think it would be the quickness that would get you.

Because he's so fast.

But you don't think I could grab a fucking, like, the bartender's pairing knife.

You are a pull stick or something.

Yeah,

that's what I'm saying.

Everything's at my disposal.

Absolutely.

You think I can get him?

Absolutely.

It's fucking nothing.

Tony encouraged him in case he meets up with him.

Walt's right, you know?

Fuck you, Tyson.

What do you think?

Wow.

I would be terrified, though, is that you smash him over the face like you fucking.

It's a Reggie Jackson fucking home run, and he fucking just looks at you and he goes,

Yeah.

And then it's like, Now you're on his bad side.

Then it's just who can run faster, and it's still probably it.

It's unbelievable the punches that he delivers to the people in the ring.

It's crazy.

Like, you just can't believe a person can punch another.

And the guys, like, a lot of times they don't fall down.

Sometimes they fucking fall down immediately.

Same thing with MMA.

Like, I'm not a big MMA guy, but when I do watch it, I'm like, how does somebody take a knee to the face like that and not get knocked out?

I don't know.

That's why I don't like watching MMA.

How would people want to do it?

Their brain casing has to be stronger.

It's got to be.

Right?

Like thicker skull.

Because all that, you know what knocks you out, right?

It's your head bouncing or your brain bouncing around, right?

Yeah, it's your brain bouncing around in your skull.

So their brain's got to be tighter.

They're wired tighter.

Maybe we should get one 148.

Am I right about this?

Come on over for a second.

Come here.

What?

No, I really need your

intelligence on this one.

Yeah, we need a 148 on this.

We'll be nice.

What,

all of a sudden you're gun shy now?

Yeah.

Why?

What happened?

You just got spanked for showing Q the hen and carbonite director.

He made a sale.

Yeah, but he could have waited, though.

It's not like you were running out of here after the show.

This is true.

Now, correct me if I'm wrong.

Isn't it when someone gets knocked out is because their brain bounces up against their skull cap, right?

Well, that's a concussion.

That's the brain hitting the side of the skull, and then that, you know, causes swelling.

What causes unconsciousness?

That I'm not sure.

Like, a lot of times, it says like the perfect perfect punch to knock somebody out is like right here, like right on the side of the jaw, right?

Like that's what you're supposed to be going for.

Yeah, I wouldn't have.

I thought it was on the chin, like

underneath the chin.

Like a draw.

Like an uppercut?

Like that dude on the bus.

You ever see that video?

It's just like some lady was given this bus driver.

Oh, the bus driver.

Oh, my God.

You never saw a guy come from so low, the bus driver got pissed.

He gives this...

another black lady an uppercut.

He hit a lady?

Oh my God, did he hit her?

It's a crazy belief.

It was a device.

What happened to him?

I'm sure he got fired.

I don't recall it.

I think he didn't.

I think

she attacked him.

She attacked him, yeah.

She attacked him first and sustained.

He was like trying for a long time, and finally was like, I gotta give her a crack.

Yeah, and I mean, Joan Connery style.

Yeah, it was not his first uppercut.

Oh, it looked like Street Fighter, like a fucking, like, like the form was unbelievable.

He just came up and like jammed her.

But what do you think it is that causes someone to be more susceptible to being knocked out than somebody else?

Because

is it possible that hard-headedness is an actual thing

uh I would guess it would be the the cushioning around the the brain you may have more fluid around the brain which could you know allow the brain to move around without impacting the the skull but again I'm not you know well versed on that then what the fuck are you sitting here for I I tried to plead ignorance but showing some humility over here I like it yeah I like that he

said he's not sure and he's not an expert though merry Christmas boss

that way you want to talk about your your toenails?

I know it bothered you that someone said that you had

true.

Yeah, you listened to the episode.

I didn't listen to each other.

I did not say that you had nasty-ass toenails.

I said you had nasty-ass fingernails.

Oh, okay.

But they were at one point.

Bride called it out, not me.

No, you didn't say I was letting him.

No, you said I was letting him go.

Oh, yeah, it looked like he had 10 coke nails.

Yeah.

Yeah, Bride did it, not me.

Okay.

No one mentioned your toes.

Okay.

Yeah, I thought your fingernails were getting a little out of control, but you know, because your friend, this is where he gets up.

He's pissed.

Powder.

Oh, God.

It's too much.

You're just like.

Oh, God.

It's crazy.

That's on call.

I don't know if that's called for, though.

Well, the video leading up, like,

it's not called for.

You should never be reacting like that ever.

Especially, put aside the gender optics of it.

You're a city worker.

You shouldn't be.

But, like, the way she was going after him, it's not like you're like...

What did he do?

Not just not stop at her stop?

Oh, I don't know.

I don't think you can make it out.

I think it's pretty fucking, it's chaotic on that bus, and he he just cracks her.

But I know bus drivers, and they all tell me it's the worst fucking job in the world.

They hate it.

I don't know a bus driver, and I know about five of them that likes their job.

They're all like, it's just the fucking worst.

I can't imagine it's fun.

Driving in traffic.

Yeah.

People being annoyed constantly because they don't want to be on a bus.

He's like the fare.

He's like, they don't even want to pay the fare.

They just go on.

They're like, fuck you.

They go to the back of the bus.

You have to learn to just not take it personally.

So, what does he do when they don't pay the fare?

Nothing.

So it's an unwritten rule.

You can ride the bus for free.

Yeah.

You just fed it out.

It didn't sound like there was any shortage of people.

You can take the bus to work tomorrow for free.

He but do you want to be that person?

Take about two hours to get here, probably.

That's true.

It says

twisting and pulling can cause what happens when you're knocked unconscious.

It says twisting and pulling

causes brain circuits to break or lose their insulation or get kinked up and that shuts off part of the brain.

If you're part of the brainstem,

if the part of the brainstem responsible for consciousness is affected, then you get knocked out.

So it is kind of your head.

Ever get knocked out, Q?

I've been knocked out.

Yeah, I was knocked out very, very shortly for like

seconds.

Yeah.

But I was out.

It's a weird feeling.

I didn't feel anything.

I had like a concussion and I didn't come to until the next day.

Whoa, really?

Yeah, I got punched.

And and I didn't even know I got punched because I'm sitting there talking to the guy trash talking, and I didn't even know what was going on.

And I'm talking to him, and then it was such a quick knockout, though, and a quick recovery that I was talking to him, and all I could see was blue, light blue.

And I'm going, what's going on?

I'm like, well, what the fuck just happened?

Why am I seeing blue in my head?

And what I was seeing was the sky.

It was a perfectly blue sky because I was knocked down.

I was on my back.

Oh, shit.

Yeah, he got up and

I'm sorry.

No, actually,

we were throwing down and punching and everything.

How old were you?

I was 18.

Wow.

I was 18, and

it was probably the last fight I was ever in.

But

the guy, I heard the guy died recently.

Forgot who was.

Within the past couple of years, yeah.

But he had repercussions.

He lived there for the rest of his life, I heard.

Because I had broken his,

I really, I guess, smashed his face in with.

Nice.

Yeah.

There you go.

Let them know they've been in a fight.

Oh, yeah.

I mean, it wasn't like I didn't walk away with anything either, though.

It was everybody walked away with some injuries that were lifelong because

I definitely fucked up my shoulder in it.

Oh, shit.

And I never got it repaired.

So when I was playing things or doing things, if something made my shoulder go back, it was my left-hand shoulder, it would kind of pop out for a second.

And I never got it repaired.

It still does it.

What happens when it pops out?

Like, do you, how do you feel when it pops out?

Because I had my shoulder pop out.

It's a bit sweaty and shit.

Yeah, that happened to me.

One of the kids at the rec came up.

She was Tina Chaparo.

She was messing around, and she just hit me from behind, like, gave me a little shoulder check, and she just hit me in the right spot.

My whole shoulder popped out.

I was like, holy shit.

Then it popped back in, and I was like sweating like a pig.

Your body must go into some form of shock, right?

Yeah.

I had a neighbor, I think I've told this before.

I had a neighbor who got into a fight, and he was a great football project.

Like, he was training with the Giants and stuff like that.

Like he was in high school.

Everybody thought he was going to go.

He was an excellent player.

He got into a fight in a parking lot on Staten Island, punched the guy once, broke his neck, and killed him.

That totally ruined his life.

Either you told this or I've heard about this, I think.

Yeah, I feel like it's something I would have told before.

Like he never, he was, I guess, a lot of legal troubles?

Well, no, he turned himself in, and it was ever, you know,

it was a parking lot fight.

He wasn't picking on the guy.

They had words, and they just got into a fight, and he hit him the wrong way and broke his neck.

Nobody was like, you're you killer.

Everybody was like, wow, that's fucking why you probably shouldn't be punching people when you're 10 feet tall and big.

But so was the other guy.

So it wasn't like a thing.

And then once I punched a guy out in the cargo,

and I punched him with one punch, and all I could think about, he went down and his head hit the ground, and everybody was like swarming around him.

And all I can think about was that, my neighbor.

And

I was like, oh my God, did I just fucking

ruin my football career?

Yeah, like, did I just fucking kill this guy?

Plus, I liked him.

He was a friendly, I was friendly with him.

But yeah, it was fucking crazy.

Did his head make that thumping sound when it hits the floor?

It didn't hit the floor because he went against the bar and then kind of went down.

And then his head went on the thing, but it was

fucking scary.

And then I felt so guilty the rest of the night.

Did he fucking slap you in the face or something?

He slapped me in the face, but he was playing it.

He was having a slapping contest, which is that I don't know why anybody would take part of of anyway.

And I went near him, and like I said, I was friendly with him, so he slapped me, and I didn't even think about it.

I just fucking punched him, and I just connected in the right place because I'm, you know, nothing about me is like, I'm going to punch people out one punch, and he went down.

I felt so bad.

And the next time I saw him, he had a huge fucking black guy, and he was like, My mother hates you.

I'd be like, then don't slap people, asshole.

I didn't want to be slapped.

Like, you should, like, what were you supposed to do in that moment?

Just to slap him around with a handprint on your face?

I think I was just supposed to slap him back as, as

well, part of the game.

Yeah, it wasn't my type of junior game.

Again, nice guy, but yeah, his eyes

goes out.

Probably because of drinking.

Would this be probably the wrong thing?

Oh, I wasn't drinking.

I had just walked in.

It was like within five minutes of me walking in.

He most likely was drinking.

That's what the cargo was like back then.

We knew a guy who, same thing happened to us outside a bar

in town, Larry Fecto.

Oh, yeah, he died.

Yeah, a kid who, like, going to school with him all through elementary school and high school, you're like, eventually it's going to end badly for this kid.

Yeah.

Because he just was always like wild.

He lived with his grandparents.

And as soon as you live with your grandparents, you know something's going to be messed up.

And he was outside a bar in town and he got into a little scuffle with some guy.

The guy hit him.

He fell back, hit his head, and died.

And it's that simple.

And then the dude ran off and tried to hide.

Is that the plot point of Con Air?

I don't remember.

I don't remember.

And he gets sent to jail because he got into a bar fight and ended up killing the guy by accident.

I don't remember the setup to Con Air.

I mostly remember the planes exploding and stuff like that.

Yeah.

But yeah, don't hit people anymore, I guess, is the thing.

Yeah.

I mean, do you find you even have many opportunities to get into a fight?

Like, nobody ever really says anything to me.

I guess the older you get, the less likely.

Like, you have no testosterone left.

You don't run in those circles anymore.

You don't.

Yeah.

Put yourself out, you know, go to a bar, see what happens.

Remember that guy that punched slapping people?

Oh, yeah.

Well, he hit him with a brick, did you?

He was like, just because his girlfriend liked him.

Yeah.

So he just came out of nowhere and just fucking hit him.

Well, I think it was twice he got hit out of nowhere at a bar or something.

That's the one I remember.

That was in Pittsburgh.

And then he said when he was working at the video store one day, somebody came in and threw a brick and hit him in the face.

Oh my gosh.

That was before he was in the movies?

I think it was after clerks.

I think it was post-clerks.

This guy was on the dogma set, and he purposely punched him because his girlfriend girlfriend thought he was cute.

Right.

And you were like, that's fucking, that's a shit way to go through life, worried about these motherfuckers punching you.

Yeah, I would be like, you know what, then why don't you fucking go home with him, bitch?

And then that would be the end of it.

Why would I punch Muse for being cute?

I don't know.

He's a health cute.

He's a fucking cutie.

He's a goddamn dream boat.

Yeah.

There we go.

There's Muse.

His ears were ringing.

All right.

I'm not even going to try to make a fucking smooth segue into this because I don't even know how to do it.

You don't have anything cute you can segue into from that?

What's the product?

Product, baby, is Raycon.

And Raycons are, this is your last chance, I think, before Christmas to get those Raycon orders in.

And speaking of last chance, is this the last time we'll ever record TSD here?

No, because you got next week, then I think.

I thought you're gone a week after.

No, I'm only gone until Tuesday.

I'm not taking the rest of the month.

Oh, okay.

The last Tom Steve Dave, though, recorded in this building.

I mean, I think it would be apropos just us, Yeah.

The last one.

I fucking love it.

You know, but

it'll be.

We should at least mark it and mention it, though.

Yeah.

And acknowledge it.

I agree.

A little reverence.

Yeah.

Maybe we'll just tell our favorite stash stories.

We could do that.

Do you have many, Q?

Oh, he's got to have

tons of them.

I got some good ones.

Most related to the old stash.

Mostly related to the old stash, but I got some good ones here.

We've had a lot of fun here over the years, but most of the fun we've had here over the years have been on Mike.

Everybody's heard it already.

Yeah.

We can reminisce about it.

I'd happy to do that.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Just even if, like, to go back and re-look at something that maybe we did on air here through, you know, just talk about like

your favorite episodes recorded here.

Like your hamburger eating contest.

Oh, yeah.

Remember that?

Yeah, the white castle.

When you fucking beat down Mike Zapzik in the hamburger eating contest?

Yeah.

You want to do that again?

No.

That was probably eight years ago.

I could.

Do you think someone was like soaking the buns in water inch?

Yeah, that's because he saw a real competitor eater do that.

Yeah.

I think I can actually see that on YouTube.

It's out there somewhere.

Somebody put it in.

Early days when we probably should have been filming everything.

I know, right?

Oh, my God.

We should have.

Yeah.

Anyway, so if you don't want to leave your house, hey, you may live in L.A.

and there's a forced lockdown right now.

How long is that lockdown?

I don't know.

He didn't say.

He just said everything's canceled.

Go home.

Oh, so it's after Christmas it's going to take you take you through Christmas?

I believe so, yeah.

Fuck.

Probably.

So if you can't get out there to get anything, you're going to have to order stuff online.

And why not Raycon?

Because they're fucking awesome.

Let's see.

The Silver Bullet Gift Idea, Raycon Wireless Earbuds.

Include our personal endorsement.

Hey, I've got one, two, three pairs of Raycon right now.

Yeah, I got one.

None of which were given to me.

Those got crunched.

But I bought the over-the-ear ones with the noise canceling.

Yeah, they're good.

They're fucking sweet.

They have seamless Bluetooth pairing and a comfortable noise isolating fit.

You can get started listening right out of the box and keep listening for hours.

The audio quality is amazing comparable to what you get from other premium brands, except Raycons start at half the price.

They are pretty inexpensive compared to other earbuds that are, you know, similar.

They stay in better than other ones, too.

Yeah, I've noticed.

I like the way they stay in.

The ones with the stems.

Ugh, vomit.

Best of all, this is something that they can use for calls or music for work or play play, at home or on the go, and it's the gift that keeps giving.

And if they already have a pair, you always need a spare.

I find that to be true.

I leave a pair in my car, so if I like go on the target, you know, I always have them there.

Raycon's being generous for the holidays.

So, on top of their everyday great prices, they're offering listeners 15% off right now.

So, go to buyraycon.com/slash T-E-S-D today to get 15% off your Raycon order.

That's buyraycon.com/slash T-E-S-D.

Buy Raycon slash TESD.

All All right, that's Raycon, and that is it for spots.

Would you, Walt, I brought this up to Brian the other day.

New stash,

Combo Men,

the next generation.

Would you be willing to start shooting another TV show?

Sure, I would, but

I think that boat has sailed, I think, as we'll be the golden, the golden girls version of Comb Bookman at this point.

Golden Palace, baby.

He did it.

I just don't think that there's a there's a it's not very

appealing to anybody a network to have like four old white guys.

I don't know, man.

I hear a lot of people talk about how they like it.

Yeah, I know, but a network, though, would have to be like, okay, there's a

we got what we got.

Like a Chinese guy.

That's right.

I was three old white guys.

I don't know why I said four while I was talking about it.

Maybe you were thinking of my show.

Yeah, they do it.

Yeah, I know, but like they, but there's a different,

there's a different vibe in the country now.

I think that there would be, they want you a bit younger and a bit more diverse, I think.

I think so.

That's just me.

Maybe I'm wrong.

That's part of the adjustments.

No, I was thinking.

You could pitch it to true for us.

I was thinking.

That's what I was thinking.

I was like, maybe I could, maybe I could try because,

you know, leadership at True TV turns over every three years.

So now we're way past.

You can get a producer credit.

Yeah.

That's pretty sweet, huh?

Yeah.

Get some money.

Exactly.

I gave a producer credit to Mrs.

Five the other night.

Oh, yeah.

She was thrilled.

Yeah, I was thinking about it.

I was thinking about in the new year, maybe going in and pitching a revival.

But what if you had to hire, like, maybe you need to hire, like, get up, maybe, maybe a comp a girl geek?

What, I can't work with women?

No, that's what I'm saying.

I said, these are the things we got to pitch.

You know how approachable he is.

Women love me.

I think a girl geek could work, just not the girl geek that we had.

I think there's somebody out there who would be a natural fit as far as the humor is concerned.

A nationwide search for comic for the perfect comic nerd chick.

Yeah.

Chick's probably not the right choice of words, though.

Oh my God, we're done already.

So you'd be up for it.

You'd be willing to do it.

Absolutely.

Oh, you never seemed too happy when you were making the show.

Well, as long as my crew could come back,

my OG, you know, Nichelle and all the guys, guys, JB, Tom.

Yeah, I miss those poker names.

Jeremy,

all those guys.

Christian, yeah.

Yeah.

Christian's wife.

Yeah, Melissa.

Yeah.

I'm going to sniff around.

I'll see what I could do

when the new year rolls around.

It would be amazing.

It would be amazing if we did it again.

Just one last season.

Yeah.

Can you get us six episodes?

Like, they only want six episodes, guys.

Your ratings were.

Your ratings were not cancelable ratings.

Your ratings were good ratings.

Even at one o'clock in the morning, that's what I'm saying.

Well, you know what happens?

Same thing that happens to a lot of networks if somebody new came in and they're like, fuck these guys.

And everybody, they said that everyone at the network was like, really?

Why?

Tell them we'll shoot it on video to cut down on the cost.

Well, you filmed it on 301.

We weren't doing it on video.

No, we weren't HD.

Oh, that looked like film to me.

No, no.

What is this, 1970?

We're shooting fucking soap operas and shit.

They only shoot 15 minutes at a time before the reels have to be turned out.

Yeah, those are HD cameras that they used.

So

that looks like film stock, though.

Like, when I see video, I think, like, you said a soap opera or all the family.

Dat tapes.

Yeah.

Yeah.

At first, they were shooting with those mini dat tapes.

I think eventually they went to cards.

They just went to cards.

Everybody's on cards.

Yeah.

Yeah.

It would look good.

Yeah.

I mean, like I said, even that late, we were pulling decent ratings.

So if we got put into a spot where it was like even 11 o'clock.

Dude,

you told me those ratings, and I was like,

that on True TV is a fucking hit show.

A hit show.

Without a doubt.

I was like, there's no reason why.

So I'm going to bring it up.

Really?

A meeting?

We were working on, I don't want to reveal too much, but working on a new deal for more of the same that everybody's used to.

And then

in that.

Threaten to hold out.

So you won't go back to work on the jokers.

Let's try a different route.

Yeah, maybe I'll just sign my deal and then.

No CBM, no BQ.

Right.

I think the deal to me would be like, look, yes, CBN, and

I'll appear on it more.

Ooh.

Like it was supposed to be in the beginning.

Yeah, yeah.

And see, and that might be enough because they're pretty happy with us right now.

Our ratings have been stronger than ever.

Do you need me to come in for this meeting?

I think it'll be.

First, I don't work with chicks.

And I don't care if I I call them chicks.

That's the way I am.

You're going to have to get used to it.

Yeah.

Yeah.

I wanted to make sure that it was something you'd be up for.

I mean, I knew I didn't have to ask Ming.

You know, and I assume Mike would enjoy it as well.

Sure.

But, like, you know,

it'd be great to,

we're going to miss the grand opening because obviously it's right around the corner and everything, but a new store,

maybe a new staff person.

BQ is now.

How do we get you in?

Are you have you now just like your half, like we're pretend you're half owner of it now?

Yeah, we'd have to do something like that.

No, I mean, like, shows up like stamp.

You might be able to buy half of it, though.

I mean,

really, I think you get a good deal on it.

I mean, it's

you think that you think if I went to Kevin and I was like, Kevin, look, I talked to True.

They're willing to, they want to bring back.

They're excited.

The one thing is, like, I have to own half the business because that's going to be my vector into the show.

You want

my opinion?

This is tough because both of you guys are dear friends, but

I don't know.

I mean, the state of the comic books and the state of retail, I mean, I would be like, I would be surprised you'd want to buy half of it.

I think it's going to be an effort, a Herculane

effort to make this one fly.

Like I said, I think we'll get that initial push

when we do the reopen, but I'm really concerned about

what the amount of people walking walking in because there's nobody coming in now.

But that to me is part of the drama.

Like new store, how do we build a story?

Will it stay open?

Is America ready fucking to go out again?

Hey, remember these guys that you loved?

You loved Flames.

They were riding high.

Now they're a little low.

They might go out of business.

Oh, shit.

Here comes in a new owner.

One of them is a guy with one foot on the fucking box ready to step off.

Yeah.

A noose around his neck, right?

Is that me?

Well, I mean, just.

Yeah, just in general.

Yeah, but he's like that all the time.

Yeah, dude.

I think there's something there.

I think there might be something there.

I wasn't sure.

And then you come in and you're just like, you're like, you know, you're an old dear friend, and you're like,

I'm going to sink.

I'm going to buy half the business.

I don't know if this is a good investment for me.

I'm going to whip these guys in the shape of the business.

So much comedic opportunities.

I think there's something there, man.

I do.

I think there's something fun there.

Oh, my God.

Yeah.

And then, like, you know, we can introduce Giddem as a real full-time staff member.

Yeah.

They wouldn't allow it.

They thought he he was not quite ready for camera.

Well, they were right.

We tried to get him into a fashion show that was shot down.

Yeah, I understand.

I always felt that it was weird that they felt like it was too much for a viewer to swallow that there was a new employee.

That is just too much to introduce, too much backstory, too much time spent being like, here's our new employee.

They just rather would just go with the same thing we can do.

But, dude, that sounds like a great idea.

Even if they even get like six episodes.

I want to see what I can do.

Awesome.

I'm going to see what I can do because

we got some exciting moves we're making coming up.

And I think

ears will be open to anything I wanted to pitch them.

And that's one of them.

That'd be pretty sweet.

I should probably also talk to Kevin about this before I talk about it on air.

Well, I think Kevin would be up for it if another.

Because they shopped it around.

Yeah.

But I think like different networks, they wanted to make it their own.

They didn't want to kind kind of continue with what AMC had set up, which, I don't know, I thought our format kind of worked.

Right.

But I mean, I think everybody's open to new ideas if they want to make their own

twist on it or make it their own, not just be the AMC

cookie cutter thing.

Not that it was cookie cutter, but I mean, they want to differentiate themselves from the CBM version.

We would call it a new name.

No, I think it's stick combo, man, but branded.

Yeah, I'd have to figure out something else, but

I'll see if there's any interest, if I can get any bites.

All right.

Like I said, if you ever need me to come in for one of those meetings,

thank you.

I'll keep that in mind.

I would like to see that.

I would like to see you in that meeting, like you bring in a hitting camera and shit.

Best impractical joke ever.

Bring this guy to a meeting.

Does Alicia do homeschooling?

Is she doing virtual?

They just started that, right?

Because everybody is fucking COVID.

I've been doing it with Sage since

the school year started.

I may be at my breaking point.

I'm glad this Christmas thing is coming up.

Why?

It's fucking too much, dude.

They have, like, I hear it all the time that the teacher being like, Sage, do you have this?

And Sage is like floundering because there's so many fucking papers that they give them.

And so many things.

How do they get the papers?

Well, they send the papers from the school in the mail.

So like, you know, the dittos and shit.

Do they still call them dittos worksheets?

I don't know.

Probably not.

Probably not.

Nobody's used the word ditto.

Since 1974.

Yeah.

They run them off on that big press

shit.

Peel the blue paper off.

Yeah.

But yesterday,

twice, you know, she's like, Sage,

do you have this?

And I look at Sage's paper.

It's blank because she doesn't know what the fuck to do.

And then she's like, all right, we're just going to move on.

And it's because she can't hold it up for the whole class.

And then fucking like, like 10 minutes later, it's the same shit.

You know, Sage, do you have this?

And Sage is like, wait, what?

And I just got so mad, I was like, you know what?

Fuck it.

I slammed down

the computer.

I was like, just go up to your room.

I was like, you're not in trouble.

Just go up to your room.

I couldn't fucking take it another second.

She's like, you hung up on my friends.

I was like, you're goddamn right, I did.

I was like, just go to your room and chill out for a little while.

I can't take it, man.

Because now I'm in special needs class.

I'm practically an assistant because you have to keep an ear out at all times.

She starts at fucking eight in the morning.

You just have Mary Beth do it.

Well, she does it.

I can't just be like, hey, hang out for fucking four and a half hours waiting for in case she needs something.

Why?

Because she's got other shit to do.

You know, she's keeping the house.

She's working on the advertising and shit.

It's like she can't just sit there.

Nor can I.

Nor we don't want to.

We decided up to be fucking teachers.

But the way they did it last year was they would just send all the material and then Mary Beth would sit down.

It took like two hours a day and she basically she was her teacher and she would teach her for the two hours.

Now it's like from eight in the morning and they don't stop until 12, 10 with almost no breaks.

And you could tell she's not paying attention.

She's not learning shit.

Yeah, but Alicia, yeah, I don't have this problem with Alicia.

Really?

I wonder why.

Yeah, I've never had, I've never stormed into there and hung up on the teacher.

You got to hang up on the teacher sometimes, I'm telling you.

It just got to be too much.

She's like, Do you have this?

And I'm like looking around.

I'm like, where the fuck is this shit?

Why isn't this shit organized?

Well, who's supposed to organize it?

I don't know if they just said no, I guess.

Me.

They send all this stuff home.

But I'm like, this is what they should be doing.

Here's the lesson for tomorrow.

Here's what you fucking need.

Not in the middle, like just like that.

Hey, find this shit.

It's like, all right, I don't know what it is.

Okay, it's on this sheet.

And then they put the sheet on the computer.

I'm like, even with my glasses, I'm like, I can't see that.

It's in a fucking one-by-one-inch box.

But you have to also look at it from the other side, though.

It's difficult for the teachers, too.

It must be incredibly frustrating.

One of the kids has a dog barking non-stop in the background.

I'm like,

get that fucking dog out of here.

Get him out of here.

I don't mean to sound insensitive, but like, couldn't.

i give her away no no couldn't you just couldn't sage

couldn't we just do away with school with her for a year and it really wouldn't affect things too much i don't think it would bother her

i don't think she doesn't like it like what is she learning over i don't know the i don't i don't know what she's learning she's like they try to teach like today's lesson in math was about like uh menus and shit so they have these menus and it's like find the hamburger How much does that cost?

Find the fries.

How much does that cost?

Find the drink.

How much does that cost?

Okay, now you got all the shit.

Now add it all together.

And And then she'll take those, like those items and she'll add them up.

How much change should you get?

Like, they work on that kind of stuff.

Oh, can't you just homeschool

for a year and abandon all this?

It doesn't sound like he can homeschool her either.

But no, but the things that are frustrating him.

It's the computer that's the frustrating thing.

Their microphones suck balls, so it's like half the time you can't hear what they're saying.

And if Sage is playing something on her computer and the teacher's playing the same thing in class,

yeah.

Holy fuck, dude.

It's every day.

That's why I'm going to Florida tomorrow.

I'm like, I'm so glad.

I feel like just for a fucking couple days.

I don't have to deal with it.

What are you going to Florida for?

Just to go.

Just to go.

Say she's going?

Yes.

Yeah.

Taking her out of school.

Did you get a clearance to take her out?

I told him.

I was like, we're going.

What are they going to do?

Why are you so defensive?

You're like, oh, fuck you.

I told him.

You think, like, what am I like?

I'm going to call the school and fuck it.

Who knows?

I don't know.

Spies everywhere.

It sounds hard, man.

It does.

I'll tell you that.

I

think about it with you, and it sounds hard.

Sometimes I'm like, I look at my life and I'm like, this is the exact opposite of everything I said I was ever going to do.

Yeah.

You know, and the kid thing is real hard.

Of course, I would never give her away.

Of course, I love her.

Of course, I want her there.

But it'll be nice when there's a little bit more independence so she doesn't rely on us so much, you know?

Like, I leave her alone for little bits at a time.

Like, I'll run to like Walgreens and come back and and she's okay but you know I can't leave her alone for hours I was gonna say is there going I mean Q Q is put he asked you know not to sound insensitive so I'm gonna do the same thing but is there really any hope of that in the future where you can there are gonna be prolonged periods of time where she could be left alone

I would think

I don't know not probably not by herself

unless she I mean she still has a couple years to develop and stuff I mean she cooks little things by herself

yeah she can cook in the microwave.

Oh, okay.

All right.

I thought you meant on the stove.

Yeah, and I'm like, Prepare me a feast.

Here's the chicken for Thanksgiving.

Tell him, Steve Dave.