#442: Fry Guy

Hey real quick, just wanted to let anybody know who may have an interest.

We are putting up some eBay auctions under the title SOS Auctions.

And these auctions are going to go 100% to the stash to try to raise some capital because we've been closed now for so long and you know trying to pay some bills that we got to pay.

before we start to open up here hopefully soon.

But in the meantime, I've donated some artwork from every series that I ever worked on.

We're doing these weekly.

So on Thursday, you could look for a new page of art to go up for the next five weeks.

Up first is Kearney.

Then the following week we'll do War of the Undead, and then Cacophony, Widening Gyre, Cryptozoic Man, Metro, and then winding up with Knights of the Fifth Dimension.

As well as I am putting up for the stash a pretty rare comic that I worked on.

I never talked about it.

It was never actually officially released.

There was only 200 copies printed by the guy who wrote it.

It's the book called Drastic with a K.

It's done, I don't know how many years ago.

It's got to be over a decade ago, 12 years ago.

And I'll be honest, there's a reason why I never talked about it.

It's not my best work.

I don't know if I was ready to be drawing a comic book at this point, but

I feel when I look at it now, I'm like, oh my God, that's horrible.

Oh my God, I was so bad.

But I'm putting them up there for dire times, you know, desperate measures kind of aspect.

But every week we're going to be putting a copy of Drastic up as well with the artwork.

So they're separate auctions.

But if you got any interest, check them out.

Thank you.

I'll talk to you soon.

Later.

The whole thing should be synced up, like just when I start.

But you know what?

If you want, like, I'll do it once and then I'll go one, two, three, and then we'll all clap on what would be for.

So, okay, just in case it's one

and then one, two, three.

Was that delayed, you motherfucker?

Do it again.

All right.

One, two, three.

I called in 148 to help me out with this setup today.

And it's been working smooth as fucking silk.

You got to get yourselves a 148.

Paul in 148 to help me out with this setup today.

And it's been working smooth as fucking silk.

You got to get yourselves a 148.

Called in 148 to help me out with this setup today.

And it's been working smooth as fucking silk.

You gotta get yourselves a 148.

You called in 148 to help me out with it with this setup today.

You gotta get yourselves a 148.

That's right.

It's been working smooth as fucking silk.

You gotta get yourselves a 148.

You want to

call the 148 to help me out.

We're doing it with this setup.

Smooth as fucking silk.

Smooth as fucking silk.

Call the 148 to help me out.

We're doing it with this setup today.

You gotta get yourselves a 148.

Tell him, Steve, Dave.

Hello, and welcome to this week's edition of Tell'em Steve Dave.

Obviously, everybody's still locked down.

Broadcasting from our respective residences.

Walt Flanagan, how you doing?

Good.

Yeah?

Feeling good?

Feeling positive?

Yeah, I mean, I have no reason not to feel positive.

Right?

Do I?

I don't know.

You may.

You may.

There's something going on out there.

I feel like I'm going to be podcasting with the Blues Brothers today because Q, same deal.

Q is

he's unhappy about this whole corona thing.

He doesn't want to stay inside anymore.

It's getting to him.

Is Q still online?

It does not sound that way, does it?

I think when he clapped, he fucking turned the phone off.

All right, let me try to call him back.

Q

on the edge beside himself.

We're going to have to work together, Walt, to calm this savage beast.

It's all right.

I'm just a standard middle-aged man trying to figure out how to work technology.

Everybody listening to this

understands.

They've seen their father do it or they've done it.

Where it's like, why won't this thing just fucking work?

Yeah, like, what's the new cliche?

Because it used to be like, oh, they can't, you know, an old person can't figure out how to program the clock on the VCR.

And like, since nobody knows what the fuck a VCR is anymore, like, what's the new cliche that you can't work your phone, I guess?

I can't, I don't know.

It's all this okay boomer shit.

I don't know.

I don't know.

I don't know nothing.

Does it bother you being referred to as a boomer?

Even though you're clearly not.

Well, I'm not.

I'm Gen X.

Yeah, I know you're clearly not, but I think that it's just a blanket sort of

prejudiced term that they use against people above the age of 20.

I don't care.

It doesn't matter to me.

Well, do you regret not studying up and boning up on tech as it came down the pike?

Like, you kind of just

let yourself fall out of

the current tech and everything.

So now you're paying a big price, it sounds like.

And

do you regret not keeping up on it?

Well, I'm going to tell you what's really frustrating is that I have kept up on it.

That's what's pissing me off.

Yeah, that would be more frustrating than myself who hasn't kept up.

And I don't know what's going on.

But yet, if you have and you wasted all that time and you still can't figure it out, yeah, I I can see why you're upset.

That's what I'm dealing with.

The four words, the four words said at my house the most are why won't this work?

You got to get yourselves a 148.

I called in 148 to help me out with this setup today, and it's been working smooth as fucking silk.

Weren't you the one who pressed record?

I mean, aside from that, all he did was plug it in.

Yeah, but we haven't had, on our end, we haven't had a problem, have we?

That's true.

Hugh doesn't have a 148 with him.

I'm dropping headphones into my fucking iced tea.

I can't get the clap right.

Kenneth just ran over to make sure that everything's working smoothly after they gave that glowing.

Now he's definitely terrified it's not going to work.

Hey, do we have an agenda with this, Call, or can I bring something up?

You can bring up anything you want, of course.

Well,

who's it about?

Was it regarding me?

Yeah.

No.

It's not what you think.

We haven't talked about it already.

We haven't talked about it already.

Okay, go ahead.

Because a little birdie landed on my shoulder and told me that

Walt, apparently

you're intimately involved now

and getting the business on the Reddit board.

Oh, I heard this.

So I went over, I took a stroll over to Reddit Land, and holy fucking shit, you really are on the front lines.

Dude, like they said in Vietnam, he's in the shit.

Holy weep.

What are we referring to?

I mean, just, I mean, there's this one fucking weepy motherfucker saying, like, complaining that you're doling out medical advice and something like that.

You got another weepy motherfucker doing this.

And I couldn't believe what I was reading.

I was like, is this dude saying, is he holding Walt responsible for medical information?

I couldn't believe it.

But then you answered him, and then I was like, Why is he doing this?

It was like, it was crazy.

So I got into it.

And despite the fact that I'd be laughing at it and stuff like that, I gotta say,

if you guys hate the show,

I never thought the day would come where I would go on Reddit and see people attacking Walt Flanagan.

Like the Teflon just fucking shifts in this crowd from person to person.

Apparently, it's your turn.

It's like all things.

Things, you know, ebbs and flows, man.

I mean,

I guess

I'm on the low end now, and

you guys aren't being attacked.

But yeah, I got attacked for saying

that

they're annoyed that I kept saying, well, maybe Middle America can open up a little bit earlier.

And lo and behold, lo and behold, Middle America opened up a little bit earlier, and I was right, though.

But yet people were annoyed by it, though.

But my point is, it doesn't even matter if you're right or wrong.

Yeah, it really doesn't matter.

Yeah, like

Tom Steve D podcast says that maybe Middle America can open earlier.

What do you guys think?

Tom Wonder was saying that.

The only thing that I, that I, and I tried to be charitable, but charitable about it, I was like, look, everybody's under stress.

So, yeah.

So, so maybe, you know,

weepy smurf over there, fucking so, so, so worried about it.

Uh, maybe he's just having a this, you know, maybe he's under stress like all of us, and this is just a

some of those people over there were saying that I was advocating ignoring the experts' advice.

And I, I couldn't remember ever advocating that or ever saying that, but I have to truth be told,

I,

in my own personal experience, I did ignore some expert advice early on.

I did wear a mask when they said we didn't need to wear a mask.

So I did ignore that.

But when I went to the grocery store, I was wearing a mask.

But it turns out they walked that back.

So, you know,

no foul, no bad, because

it turns out ignoring them on that one was maybe the right call.

I don't know.

You're more of an expert.

You know what I?

No, no, no, don't say that.

But I see people are like,

I read a lot of comments.

It was actually fun because it has been a long time since I went to Reddit.

And

it was kind of fun to see the things that people are complaining about because I was like, Jesus Christ, like, how petty and small can you get?

So

I guess I just want to speak to the people that are like on there complaining about the show.

Guys,

you don't have to listen to the show.

If it's driving you that crazy.

It's a democratic world.

Should we give them an opportunity to call in and

vent?

And maybe we could learn a thing or two from these

guys.

Oh, from these scientists and experts that are on Reddit?

Yes.

Yes, I'm sure.

That's exactly what I was thinking.

They're all scientists and experts and know every fucking thing that they should and should not be doing and are more than happy to alert you that everything you say is wrong.

It's weird, too, because people like that are like, they don't do any something for a certain time, and then they discover something, and then everyone else is an asshole if they're not doing it now.

And it's like, I don't know.

Like, it's like the information shifts every day, so you're, you're never right.

You're also never wrong because nobody knows what the fuck's going on.

But the tone of what Walt was getting was as if Walt was sitting here going, guys, there's no virus.

Like,

that's the tone of the fucking accusations.

And I was like, the guy is trapped in a house with his wife and two daughters.

He's, he's fucking at home like everybody else.

He's putting out this show.

I felt bad for you, Walter.

Not in a way, like, oh, how will Walt will recover?

But I was like, oh man, it's kind of shitty.

Like,

it is pretty shitty because that's the free show.

Doing that out of the goodness of my heart.

Like, if you want to take, if you want to take me apart and fucking

drill me and come at me and criticize me, at least do it on the Patreon where you're paying for it.

Then I can accept it, but not on the free one.

Right.

Do you remember, Q, do you remember in

Snatch

when somebody complained to Bricktop about giving them a tip on a fight and

then the fighter lost and the guy lost money and he starts complaining to Bricktop and Bricktop's like, hey, if I give a dog a bone, I don't want to know how it tastes.

I was like, that's pretty good right there.

You know, it's like, it's there.

If you want to, like,

at what point was Walt, like, look, it's the Surgeon General, then it's me.

And a lot of times we go a little, we go head to head because, you know, we disagree.

It's like, nobody fucking said that, that, asshole.

Nobody said it.

And it's just like, I mean, what are you going?

Like, not only that, but like, Walt is on the board interacting with you guys.

Like, the guy,

it's like, what more does the fucking guy have to do?

I just don't understand that.

It's like, what, like, not to say that people can't

disagree, because I mean, this is tell them, Steve Dave, disagreement is built into the DNA of it.

But it was the douchey, fucking, like, purposely, this is what got me, the purpose, purposely misconstruing what Walt said.

Twist words.

To fit an argument.

Because I saw them.

Yeah,

they quoted me on something.

And I was like, but that's not even how I said it or what I said.

And I was like, I don't know, man.

I felt bad.

I did feel bad for you, Walt, because

I know it's not fun when the Teflon wears off.

So sorry.

Well, is my, I mean, I didn't realize that my Teflon was worn off.

You guys, you guys are alerting me to this?

I just assumed it was just one asshole or a couple assholes.

I don't know, man.

It looked like they were fucking coming after you.

I mean, I never seen anybody talk about like that to you before.

Yeah.

I felt bad for you because you only knew about 10% of the hate you were getting.

Now you know it all.

Oh, forget about it.

I mean, I did notice.

I did a deep dive.

I was like, all right, they don't even mention me at all.

Usually, I'm learning, which is good.

But yeah, they seem to hate Brian, and now it seems that,

oh, yeah, dude, you, you, I didn't see a single

nice comment about you.

Yeah.

What can I do to regain their favor?

Tell me what do I need to do?

I didn't spout any misinformation or disinformation.

Yeah, but you, you complain a lot.

You actually, one person wrote actually was pretty funny because they were talking about your dishwasher thing

where you knocked it off the thing and somebody wrote that, oh, Brian fucking something about the dishwasher, blah, blah, blah.

And somebody wrote, all right, this is what we're complaining about, Johnson, this week.

Let me just check my cards.

Oop, his dishwasher.

That's what he did wrong.

And I was like, that guy fucking gets it.

I'm like,

I mean, if the show is bringing you this much agitation, if you're not enjoying it and it doesn't seem like anybody's enjoying it, or worse, if you're tuning in to Tell him Steve Dave for fucking medical advice,

maybe you shouldn't.

I don't know.

Maybe you just shouldn't.

Yeah.

At some point, we can go over my diagnosis and my medications because these people are going to feel bad.

Those Reddit people, they're going to apologize to me for shaming me for destroying dishwashers.

Why?

What's your diagnosis?

Well, there were two that I got.

Bipolar two and intermittent explosive disorder, which is exactly that.

That kind of shit.

Is there a bipolar three?

No, one and two.

So that's the worst worst one, too?

No, one is the worst.

One is the worst one.

It's like the mania is like suddenly you just decide, hey, I'm going to go on a boat trip when you're supposed to be going out and getting bread at the store.

Like, you know,

shit like that.

Whereas the bipolar two is lighter and just sort of different

intensities of certain things, you know.

Is there a cure?

Just medication.

I mean, I don't know, cure, but you can be medicated, which I am now.

So, you have

to, anybody who, I'm sorry,

I just want to say this so I understand it.

So, anybody that's ripping into you

is picking on mental illness?

They sure are.

Absolutely.

Oh, my God.

You guys can't see because we're not in the same room, but I'm clutching my pearls.

Guys, get a grip.

Everybody, get a grip.

How do we become friends?

How many years did you go undiagnosed?

Well, with this, I had taken, I used to take similar medication back when I lived in L.A.

And

so it's been

2006, 7, you said, something like that.

Remember we talked about the last.

So you went 15 years without the proper medication?

Yeah, that's why it was getting worse and worse.

And you don't know why you did that?

I don't know why I didn't take more medication.

Well, I stopped.

Yeah, like, why you didn't, yeah, why you didn't, like, say to yourself, well, I need to get back on this.

Why'd you wait 15 years then?

Well, I didn't have health insurance for a long time, and the medication was really expensive.

Like, just one of them was like $800 a month.

So

that wasn't happening.

Why did they make it so expensive?

I guess it's all the research that goes into it.

It's like they can't put like a billion into research in a drug and then charge generic prices at first.

So that's what what I'm saying.

How do those people sleep at night, though, when they know there's people that need it that can't afford it, though, and their lives would be so much more

somewhat normal and they're not able to get that because it costs so much money to buy the cure?

How do they justify that?

And it sure would be

way less negative comments on Reddit directed at certain people.

Yeah, I don't know.

I don't know.

The same way that the OxyContin people are like, fuck it, man.

We're making a mint.

Yeah, but I just don't know how at the end of the night, when you put your head on your pillow, that you can sleep knowing that you're charging $800 for how many pills a month?

Like what?

It would have been 30.

It was like a month.

30 pills a month, $800.

That's nuts.

Yeah.

Knowing how many people are suffering, though, that is fucked up that you can go to sleep at night in your mansion.

Yeah, Yeah, but

they can't make it without like

found it.

They couldn't have found the cure without spending that much money to find it, right?

I guess, but you would think that the governments would all chip in on getting this done.

But yeah, I guess.

Somebody's making some money somewhere.

No, it's not us.

No.

No.

So, yeah, those are the two things.

That just came in now, right?

That was a recent...

No, within the past few weeks, but like we just shored up my medication.

So now I take well butrin, that's for depression.

That's like the depression part.

I take Depicote.

That's an anticonvulsant.

Oh, you've been convulsing?

No.

But it's used.

You sounded really excited about it.

I know, right?

I'm trying to get to see this one.

Like I'm possessed.

You're ready to go into convulsions.

Like I got hard that time Gina went into convulsions.

Remember when that time you said at the table and he almost fucking passed up?

Remember when you used it?

No, this is.

I didn't know you had, you went into convulsions.

I don't.

I just said I don't.

This is, it's, it's for,

it's an anti-convulsant, but it's also used with people with bipolar too.

So you're, so your mood doesn't change so quickly.

Like my mood will shift from like moment to moment sometimes.

Jesus.

So when was you when was your last convulsion?

Earlier today when I was trying to set this shit up to record.

Oh, so you just call fucking fits of rage convulsions.

Oh, okay.

I need it.

Yeah.

That's how I get away with it.

And then the last one is Abilify.

That's an antipsychotic.

So dang.

So all those are supposed to be.

You're hardcore.

You're the real deal.

You're no fucking poser, right?

No, I wish I were because.

Yeah, I mean, that's why it's like it got to a point.

You know, like, why'd you wait 15 years?

Mostly it was insurance and just like, I didn't care.

And I didn't see it getting worse and worse until like probably within the past six, eight, ten months, maybe a year.

You know, I sat there and was like, it's really, it's getting better.

And Mary Beth was kind of like, yeah, it's gotten worse and it gets worse.

And it's like, every day now now it's something.

So being on the medication so far,

like I avoided one thing for sure, or I know I would have been like, fuck you, bitch.

Like I was at Food Town.

I got into a little bit of a row with some fucking manager.

But

beyond that, then I settled it.

I didn't like it.

I didn't flip out on her.

So that's an achievement, I guess.

She settled it by

having a convulsion right on the floor.

Like I'm pretending, but I really hit my head on the way down.

Just screaming.

Somebody put something.

Someone help me not swallow my tongue.

Especially in a fucking age of coronavirus.

Cook who runs over to try to help you.

Well, I'm in the produce section.

I'm like, grab that cucumber.

I'm going to swallow my tongue.

Quickly, I said.

So.

Okay, so that's good, but you've said that

you've already been seeing a difference, which is good.

Yeah, well, because first I start out with DepiCote, then he gave me the Wellbutrin, then he gave me the Abilify last time, so I have to fucking get a blood test every two weeks, which sucks.

What are you going to do?

Give blood every two weeks, give blood every two weeks, so you don't fucking freak out for no reason.

Yeah,

it's shameful afterwards.

You're just like, I can't tell you, like, you know, I punch through a fucking door because like

because I spill water on the floor, and now I have to fucking get a new door put in which I know I can't do so I have to fucking pay Ernie to do it or last time Edgar did it but like no door punching since then that's nice dude little donkey punching if you know what I mean what

oh and you know what I take when I donkey punch let me tell you

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Yeah, you got to go talk to a doctor.

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Is it a video chat or it's just a phone call?

Video chat.

They got to see your boner.

They got to make sure that

they got to evaluate how flaccid it

uh well that's pictures to see is this like they'll show you a progression of pictures to see what what stimulates that flaccid boner and what doesn't and whether you deserve

yeah what would be on that what would be some of the pictures that would have to be on that list q

oof to get to get to get the just pictures stills just stills inflatable skeleton

i don't know my

Wow, that's a hell of a good callback.

I don't know what still images would do it for me today.

I think my brain's been rotted out by decades upon decades of easily accessible pornography and actual 3D sex.

Yeah, so like, when's the last time a still moved your motor or moved your needle and made the motor boat hum?

Oh my God, a still?

Yeah.

Oh, God.

I don't know.

It's been a while.

That's why Playboy went the way of the dinosaur?

I don't think so.

I had a subscription to Playboy until

they stopped

doing print magazine.

Yeah, but that's why they stopped because no one, I mean, no one wants a Playboy.

Well, Q's.

But as I'm saying, I was a customer.

But your co-star.

There wasn't enough customers.

Yeah.

Your co-star in that game show, Q, was like, I'm going to pose

as a man on the cover just to show all these guys, like, hey, Playboy's, uh, I don't know.

I don't even know what the statement was.

Is that true?

Yeah, it may have been the last issue.

I'm not sure.

Did she pose on the cover of Playboy?

She was supposed to.

I saw a mock-up of it.

I don't know if the issue ever came out because I'm not familiar with Playboy.

I mean, I like Jamila quite a bit.

Like,

I know her personally, so it's a whole different thing.

But put aside, whether you like her or not, like, she's conventionally attractive in every single possible way.

So I think that that would probably sell well.

Not when she's dressed like a dude.

I mean, she's got this oversized fucking zoot suit on.

It's like, who wants to see that?

I'll tell you who.

No one.

Nobody wants to see that.

Nobody.

No, no.

Don't try pretending that you saw still of that.

You get all excited.

No, I wanted to still, but I mean,

what was the point?

What was Jamila saying?

Like, she was like, I don't know.

Surely she's not trying to bring down Playboy.

Like, that's absurd.

She would have.

No, but she likes to make statements, I think.

What's her last name again?

Jamil.

She's using a platform.

What's your fucking problem, bro?

I don't got a problem with it.

It's crazy.

These fucking people are running are right about you.

Let's see.

Okay, Jamila Jamil, Playboy.

Look this up.

She did an interview.

Okay, she did an interview.

And her, yeah, like, look at the picture as her in this giant white oversized suit that you can't see anything, really.

Yeah, but she's, I'm not,

let's take Jamil out of it because she is a friend of mine, so it sounds insincere, but like,

you're talking, but what is the, but no, but this cover of Playboy has had various different levels of disrobing on it.

Surely there's been people on it in clothes.

Wall, can I talk to you for a minute?

I need some unbiased opinions here.

I was just Googling, I was Googling Donkey Punch.

I didn't know what that meant.

I had never heard that before.

You're always going to learn something on Telum Steve, Dave.

So she poses unretouched in oversized suits for Playboy and is quoted as saying, I wanted to be shot like a man.

Okay.

The actress and activist said on Twitter that she felt extremely free at her completely unsexualized shoot.

And she's redefining what it means to pose for Playboy.

Yeah, you can say that again.

So does she take the suit off at a certain point or no?

No, she puts on a different suit.

She's very pretty.

I mean, don't get me wrong.

Is I'm looking at her in a state of disrobement?

No.

No, okay.

No.

You know what?

There's probably thousands of dudes who get turned on by women dressed as men now.

Dude, I'm starting to think a third of the people on the phone right now.

Dude, I'm looking at the pictures right now.

Like, she looks fucking gorgeous.

Like,

I don't understand what you're talking about.

Don't fucking sit there and tell me you think that's sexy.

How dare you?

Well, I just said that still images don't do it for me at all.

Right.

So, so.

So, you wouldn't know either way.

So, I can't even take your opinion on this then.

Well, let me tell you something right now.

If she posed for Playboy, if Jamila, any female friend of mine posed for Playboy, I mean, that would probably be an exciting pictorial for me.

That's a still images.

Out of respect,

you wouldn't not decline to look at the photos?

Oh, fuck no.

If they're in Playboy, like they posed for it, of course I would look.

Yeah, but that's like then, like, when you go to work, it's so awkward because then you're constantly seeing the still, though.

You're constantly seeing her in the Playboy.

Thank you.

Stop thinking about it, Jamila, Jamil.

What are you talking about?

Kevin's wife was in Playboy.

You saw her in that.

I did not look at that.

I did not look at those pictures.

Me too.

I looked.

She looked looked pretty fucking good, too.

And the next time I saw a Jedi, I wasn't like,

yeah, but you also, like, she also posed for Playboy.

She was in there doing what Playboy's about, not like, I'm going to redefine this magazine for the next month and a half until it shutters.

You know?

Yeah, but I don't know about that, dude.

Jamila did.

Look, here's the thing.

This is the thing with Jamila.

It's actually more fucking, because everybody listening to this on Reddit, no doubt, will be like, oh, fuck Quinn.

He's just because he knows her and he works.

He's saying nice things.

That's okay.

That's okay.

As long as it's not fuck Walt.

It's always going to be fuck Bry, so go on.

But

I'm going to say the truth, man.

Like, I like her.

She's super fucking cool, like, to hang out with.

Like,

I like her a lot.

In fairness to you, you've said this

before.

Like, not on Mike.

We've spoken about her and you've spoken highly of her.

So

it's no bullshit.

However.

No, it's not bullshit.

I do like it.

I know, I know, I know.

I know she's got like the platforms and stuff like that that doesn't interest us, but, you know, I just don't pay attention to that shit.

Much like people should do with Walt.

Just don't fucking pay attention to Walt's medical advice.

Like, just fucking let it go.

Like, why do I have to have an opinion about everything that my friends do?

Like, why?

It's absurd.

It's 2020, Q.

Is it?

I guess it is.

We all got to have opinions and every opinion is valid.

And I got to fight.

Like, I don't know.

They're all given equal weight.

Sure.

Sure.

But well, why do you go on Reddit?

Just stay away.

This is a pandemic.

You know, I'm sitting there trying to fill hours in a day.

Morbid curiosity.

Yeah.

How does it make you feel like when you see somebody like not something like that where they're dopey, but something that's like

cutting?

you know, like a cutting remark about like your looks or about something that you're like, maybe.

Oh my God, I didn't see anything about my looks.

What's that?

that must be on the dark web Reddit you're telling me there's comments about my looks

no I haven't seen any I'm saying if there were oh if there were well I mean why are you giving me these what-if scenarios well it's actually a probably scenario but

I was gonna bring up something medical though but you know

do I dare do I dare bring it up though no because he just make it just can you just make a disclaimer maybe just be like hey guys if you don't know this by now Tell him Steve Dave is a comedy show in which we've repeatedly said over a decade that we don't know what we're talking about and you should probably not take any medical advice from telemsteve dave as opposed to say all the fucking world wide web that's at your fingertips um and if like don't be stupid and listen to our medical fucking advice like a stupid fucking asshole how's that one

i like that disclaimer that's pretty good yeah okay all right there you go But this one was a question to you guys because I keep hearing a lingo being thrown around during this

really hot and heavy.

I keep hearing it over and over again.

I don't know what it means, but I think I have an idea what it means.

And if it's what I think it is, I don't see

how it's possibly done.

I don't know how on earth it could be done.

But one of the things that they want to do for New Jersey and New York to reopen is something called contact tracing.

Have you heard this phrase?

Yeah, I've heard about this.

I have not.

What is it?

What is contact tracing?

I think it's like you register

with someone.

It doesn't trace you individually.

It somehow traces people en masse, I think.

Where like you would know how close you are to somebody who had it, right?

I thought it would, get them.

Can you look it up and then come over here and tell us what contact tracing is when you have a good idea what it is?

But I thought it did.

It was based upon your test results.

Here you go.

Like your personal test results.

And it's a traceback to all the people that you may have come into contact with.

I thought that's what it meant.

Here you go.

I got it right here.

Giddam is acknowledging that

I'm correct.

Now, if that's the case, Brian Q, think of that undertaking.

and the costs and who is doing that for the

hundreds of thousands of people that are infected?

That we are going to do contact tracing on all those people before we even think about opening.

That's just not possible, is it?

Seems time was wrong.

Think about the numbers, Q, and then, and then do a little math in your head, and then be like,

that's not possible.

Well, I don't think it's possible in the United States because who the fuck am I going to allow to track me?

I mean, I know I have a phone in my pocket that they can track any time, but like, wouldn't it have to be like an app, like a a buy-in, like you opt in with an app, maybe

that does it for you that tracks you and stuff like that?

It was tracing your past history of where you went to and like who you came into contact with.

It does just like it does, it says who's going to do that.

It says right here, what organization is going to do that?

Once, uh, I thought I heard the other day that they're hiring anywhere between like three to seven thousand people from New Jersey to do it.

Okay, even at that, that's not possible.

Like, how long will that take to trace?

There's seven million people in this this state.

Once someone has been confirmed to be infected with a virus, such as COVID-19, contact tracers try to track down others who have had recent prolonged exposure to that person when they may have been infectious.

Typically, that exposure means six feet of the person for more than 10 minutes.

How long will that take?

How is that possible?

Well, then they make an effort.

Then they make an effort to reach out to every one of those contacts, tell them they may have been exposed, and giving them instructions on what to do next.

So, yeah, how would you know?

It's not possible.

They're literally, now, if I'm right, and that's what it means, they are putting an impossible task in front of

the state to achieve.

It's not possible to do contact tracing on the level that they're expecting, though, without spending

billions of dollars and having people just run around trying to find out where one person came into contact with somebody.

It's a fucking

endless task, isn't isn't it no i don't of course i'm i don't think so because here like possibly like okay let's say that you had you got it right walt flanagan and they're like well who'd you come in contact with and you're like these six people and then so they go to tell those six people and then one of them has it and it's like then six people and six people so it's like exponentially it'll go faster Because probably most people have had contact with someone who had it at some point.

How the fuck they're going to know?

I don't know.

Like you thought you had it, I thought I had it, Q thought he had it.

So, but how are they going to do it for like people who are like out and about, like the

people who go to like a supermarket?

Like, you'll never be able to do it, like, like lock it down, do it though.

Like, you'll never be able to trace everybody you ever came into contact with.

And how many man hours will that take to trace all the people you may have come into contact with?

A lot,

a lot of hours.

Gatum's pointing to his cell phone as if they're going to do it through the phone.

Now,

I'm sorry, man.

You know, there's going to be people who are not going to want the fucking whoever it is to be going through their phone and tracking them.

No, I don't give a fuck.

But you know, it's going to be a problem, though, when they try to institute that.

10 years ago, I would have never agreed to it ever.

I'd be like, no fucking way.

I was like, give me out of your mind.

I don't want you to know where I'm going or what I'm doing.

Now I'm just like, I'll tell you exactly where I've been and what I'm doing.

Please let me come out of my house.

Please, please, you can put a camera up my fucking ass if it lets me go out of the house.

Please.

But is that it?

Or is it like, hey, let's just take a peek at this thread that says Colonel Q, Bry and Troy

on your messages and shit?

Oh, no.

I delete those conversations nightly.

Me too.

But

do they have access to that shit?

I don't know.

I don't think so.

We're all on Apple, and they have end-to-end encryption, I believe.

Oh, right.

I don't know.

My buddy works, he works for the government,

and he uses that Signal app.

He's like, he says you're crazy if you don't use it.

Oh, yeah.

What does that do with you?

It makes it so it's end-to-end encryption, but even

it's just a messaging app, but even Signal, the app itself

couldn't read it if they wanted to.

Like, your phone creates the code, sends it, and then the code is broken on the other phone is how he roughly explained it to me.

I'm sure I missed some details.

And if you want a correction of that, I'm sure you can just go to Reddit under the fucking whiny puss hole fucking thing about how I got it wrong.

But

yeah, so it's something he's like, that's just, he's like, the government has a problem with that app because they have no way to break it.

Whereas Apple, I think they have a key that they can use if they need to.

Yeah, but they wouldn't even give it to them to check out that terrorist phone, the guy who like gunned down all those people in

San Diego.

In California, no, it was like outside, it was like San Bernardino or something.

Yeah.

That's a tricky one.

They wouldn't even give them the ability to crack it for that.

Now, Giddam has just showed me that there's

Apple and Google released first seed of COVID-19 exposure notification API for contact tracing app.

My God, though, but still someone's going to have to go through the data, though, right?

How long and how time consuming?

And

it's just a nightmare, though, trying to do this for all the people in the country, though.

I think realistically, like when somebody's like, hey, we need to do a DNA test, they're like, all right, see you in 14 months.

It's not like overnight, you know?

So this shit, yeah, what you would have to think it would take, maybe not 14 months, but it's not going to be like in the moment.

Somebody has to devise the entire program.

This is something they just thought up, right?

Or no, I think they used it for Sargent Ebola, too.

too.

Yeah, I don't think it's something they just thought up.

I think that this is something that...

What are you this?

So, a platform that will let everyone's smartphones become part of a massive network.

Okay, so Apple and Google have proposed a platform that would let everyone's smartphones become part of a massive national contact tracing network.

Now, before there were smartphones, how did they do contact tracing, though?

Literally with fucking a piece of paper and an eraser?

Because

people are dying.

I don't know.

How did they do this, though?

Because contact tracing is not something that's new.

So how did they do it before smartphones, though?

148 years ago.

Detective work.

Detective work, he says.

What the fuck does that mean?

What does that mean?

I thought that was smart.

I thought that was, I bought it.

You're delusional, man.

They got Sam Spade on the case and fucking figured it out.

Detective work.

What are are your guys' thoughts on that, though?

Do you think that that's the

smoothly?

Do you think it will help?

Do you think it will be something that is just

like, is that Mount Everest, though?

Or is it not?

I don't know.

These are the questions I'm asking, and I hope I don't get attacked for them.

Well, it says here:

the Canadian government has launched a nationwide contact tracing program, 27,000 volunteers.

In China, 9,000 contact tracers were employed in Wuhan alone.

So I think they just take massive amounts of people, and

that's how they're going to do it.

Even though it's a huge undertaking, they're just taking these

tons of people.

And you have no say in it, huh?

I guess not.

You can't be like, I decline.

But why not?

Even the census, most people just fucking toss in the garbage.

I thought that's what you did, too.

Mary Beth acted like I was going to assassinate the president.

I'm like, what are you talking about?

Like, census.

She's like, that's how they know how many people.

I'm like, I don't care.

And so she filled that.

I was like, you want to fucking do this census so bad, you don't.

And then she did it.

I filled mine out.

I filled mine out.

I just think that most people don't, right?

They say only like 20% of people answer to some shit like that.

I probably wouldn't have, but she seemed real fucking.

What about people who don't have smartphones, though?

Like, get him.

You don't even have a smartphone, right?

He's not on any network.

He's not unless he

unless he's uh hooked up to someone's uh Wi-Fi.

So he can go around giving this shit to everyone, the guy with the fucking outdated phone, and it's like so all this contact tracing doesn't matter, I guess.

Have you seen his fucking Instagram account?

It looks like that's exactly what he's doing.

Yeah,

you don't find this guy like more than a hundred yards from a fucking grocery store.

Holy shit.

I'm like, who the fuck?

Your Instagram account just find out what restaurants you've been at.

I don't know.

I'm scared, though, guys.

I'm scared that

this is a hurdle that if they're going to put this in front of us to make it so we can open, you know, we can't open until this is attempted or is gone into effect.

I'm afraid it's just going to be like a massive hurdle for a state to get over that they have to have contact tracing before you can reopen.

I think I mean, you're talking how long though.

No, I mean, I see more and more people.

Like, I go out once in a while.

Like, I just go for a drive, and I'm seeing more and more people out there.

I know they're not in essential businesses.

They just can't be because the first couple of days, it's like nobody.

And now more and more people are out there.

I see people fucking meeting in parking lots.

Nobody's got a mask on.

Like, all that shit.

Like, I saw a bunch of cheerleaders today in a parking lot over by Sears.

Well, that old Sears.

And they're just...

Were they practicing their moves?

No, they were like, they were doing something for,

like, they had balloons all over the car.

I guess they're like trying to raise people's spirits and shit.

Did they have masks on?

No, nobody had a mask on.

So, I don't know.

Yeah, I mean, as this goes on, you know, it's just human nature.

I mean, as it goes on and on, more and more people will be like, will stop adhering and stop being so rigid with

their practices.

It's just, it's a fact.

You know, they will.

I mean, I'm not saying you should.

I'm not advocating at it.

I'm just saying, but human nature says that, like, you can only do it for so long before some people, not me, will

the group think it is, you know, I think it.

I love groups.

You guys know that, don't you?

I would never differ from your opinion, ever.

But that's the thing.

You weren't even like opinion.

It's like

you weren't saying that this is the way it was.

You're just saying, like, I don't think it'll open by then, which is, by the way, just as fucking valid as anybody else saying it.

It means nothing.

It means nothing.

It means nothing.

But that fucking puss all seemed to be concerned.

Not him.

Well,

not him.

He's too smart to fall for it.

He's the guy that calls you out on it.

He's worried about the other people who aren't as smart as he is,

somehow thinking that you're telling them what to do with their fucking thing.

He's smart, Walt.

He gets it.

Yeah, Flanagan needs his fucking eyes opened, and I'm just a motherfucker online to do it.

Stupid boomer.

Could you imagine?

Storming around his house, thinking of Walt Flanagan's fucking offhand comment that Walt Flanagan didn't think about ever again.

He said it and described

third-rate podcast whose fucking listenership hasn't moved up in eight years and somehow fucking spreading misinformation and shit like that.

That's like Trump had said it.

I know.

Oh, speaking of what Trump said, though,

you've got to say this, though.

You can like, how the fuck does the president of the United States advocate putting disinfectant into your body?

Is that what he said?

Yes.

You didn't, you're telling me you didn't hear this?

No, I don't go to the, I don't read the news every day, just once in a while.

Last week, he said

there's a possibility that we could put Lysol, was it Lysol?

I think he actually said Lysol, or Lysol had to issue a statement.

And they're like, no, you cannot put disinfected into your body.

And I was just like, what?

I mean, this can't be real.

How could this happen?

Wait, he's saying.

Go ahead, Keo.

I'm sorry.

Normally, when people are up in arms about something that Trump says, instantly I cut it in half in my head.

I'm like, all right, so people just fucking hate the guy and they can't stand it.

So I went online to look because I kept hearing everybody talk about it.

And I was like, all right, let me see what he really said.

And then it was even worse than that.

He didn't say that.

He was making some fucking, wouldn't it be great if there was something?

He's basically talking about a fucking

vaccine is basically what he's talking about.

But you can't even fucking,

if you read what he said, it's unintelligible.

I don't even understand what he meant to say.

It seemed to me in print that the guy was having a stroke up there on stage.

Don't you think, don't you think for a second, like, don't you think every time he's ready to go out and do one of these

pressers or these updates every day that they're like, please just stay on Target.

Please don't fucking go rogue.

And the motherfucker cannot fucking not go rogue and just stick to the fucking facts.

I don't understand it.

What is like he definitely has some I think he has ADD.

He must have ADD.

Hey, don't shame him.

I'm not shame him.

Like I don't understand how you cannot fucking just stick to the fucking script.

Dude, he's been doing things his way his entire life and it's been working for him.

You think he's going to change in his 70s when he's the most powerful man on the planet?

He's going to change when there's a pandemic?

I would hope so.

No, the answer is no.

Oh my god though.

But like, how does that?

He deserves every bit of fucking criticism and

ridicule though when you say something like that out loud.

But what he's saying is really like, is it any different than like

evangelical Christians or like those types, like those hardcore religious types who are like...

Yeah, but he's the president of the United States.

Yeah, but I mean, look, we all know he's fucked up, though.

No, but that's just as fucking asinine as anything that any religious person who may have said that was like, well, don't worry if you just pray hard enough, the virus will happen.

Exactly.

Yeah, I mean, it's just as stupid and as asinine and fucking fairyland world that everybody that they live in.

But I don't know, man, it's just...

The world is coming apart at the seams.

Well, it says here, like, I mean, I read in the L.A.

Times, it seems like he's suggesting it as a question.

I mean, because his exact wording is, and is there a way we can do something like that by injection inside or almost a cleaning?

Because you see it gets inside the lungs and it does a tremendous number on the lungs.

So it would be interesting to check that.

I don't know what, like, Q, like, I don't know what that means exactly, but it does seem like he's like, hey, what about this really stupid idea?

And they're like, no, no, no.

No, but see, the second he says injection, the second he says injected into you, I'm like, well, that's a vaccine.

That's what he's talking about, not Lysol.

I don't know.

I don't know.

I don't even want to try and fucking figure it out.

Because that was a lot of times people go off on Trump and I look it up and I'm like, that's not really what he said.

Fucking Jesus.

But this time I was like, I don't even know what he fucking said in this one.

I got no clue.

So who knows?

This is a pretty good line, though, from whoever wrote this in the LA Times.

He said he was being sarcastic, trying to bait reporters.

Because, of course, when more than 50,000 of your fellow Americans have died from a little understood new virus and millions more unemployed, the moment screams out for sarcasm and hostility.

He's just trying to lighten the mood, guys.

A little levity, that's all.

Robin

Abkharian

columnist for the LA Times.

That was a great line.

Oh, my God.

It's fucking funny.

I don't know.

What's it like to be him right now, Trump?

How bad does he regret this?

Oh, he's got to be, right?

He's got to be like, why the fuck did I do this?

Oh, my God.

Yes.

I mean,

I don't know if there's anything I would want to be less right now than the President of the United States of America during this.

Yeah.

Oh, my God.

He's going to win again.

He's going to win again.

So

he's got to be like kicking himself.

He's going to be like, why, why?

I mean, I don't know why.

I mean, you were right the last time, but why are you so certain he'll win this time, though?

Joe Biden.

He's just as incoherent, it feels like, to me.

I mean, they're both walking up there.

This is why I think, Walt, because we're still in, and this is, I'm going to catch shit for this, and that's fine, but it's like, we're still in a fucking culture war where people will be like, I'm voting for Trump because fuck you.

That's how we got elected the first time.

That's what I said the first time.

People don't want to fucking hear anything.

You're right.

You were right.

And I believe I'm right now, too.

I think people are still like, no, I got a chance to say, because again, it's what I said four years ago.

You can fucking browbeat people.

You could fucking try and get them to think a certain way or talk a certain way.

You could tell white people that they're bad.

You could do all this fucking shit.

It's not going to matter when they're in that fucking voting booth and nobody's looking.

They're going to be like, fuck you.

That's their

anger.

That's what happened last time.

And is it right?

I mean, that's up for the individual to decide, but that's what's going to happen this time.

It's just fucking crazy.

The people of spike voting for the President of the United States.

That's crazy.

And this is a dude.

This is a dude that voted for the President of the United States for a blowjob.

And I'm saying it's crazy.

Like, it's fucking nuts.

It's always been that way.

I remember my grandmother,

she didn't want to vote for John Kerry because she thought he looked weird and George Bush was handsomer.

And that's why she voted for him.

I was like, wow.

It doesn't matter.

I don't want to get morbid.

And I don't want and again, this is just something that it has to be explored.

And I hope, again, I hope I don't get attacked for this.

But isn't Biden's choice of a VP very, very more important than ever because the man,

because of his age, could potentially not finish out his term?

Please don't attack me for that.

Please don't.

It's just a fact.

And when we're dealing with men of this age, I mean, Trump took Trump as well could.

I mean, he doesn't look as healthy as a horse either.

But he has his guy all picked out.

Now, Biden is like, who

is going to take over once I obviously die in office?

Should I?

But if he picks the right person, though, he could get votes just because, well,

I would rather see that VP than Trump, though.

And then they all hope for fucking Biden's death.

Well, come on.

Talk about the divided body.

That his cabinet will be running everything anyway, though, when you listen to him talk.

Yeah, I just like the idea of his own people being like, die, die, die.

You know, like all the Democrats.

I don't know.

I don't know.

I mean, if there were someone that was such a clear choice, they would just make them the nominee, right?

Well, I

can't.

He won.

He won the nomination.

You can't just do that.

Well, I think, I don't know, but I don't know how it works anymore.

I don't know anything.

But what I said last week, and now it's the biggest fucking thing now, too, is just like what I said last week about how the fuck could anybody who spent the last few years going on and on about Believe Women and the Me Too?

Very important movement.

Very important movement.

But like, how could

anybody who was like, fuck Kavanaugh, fuck Trump, fuck this, fuck, fuck this, believe women.

If a woman says it, there's no reason for them to lie.

How could any of them with a straight fucking, like, to me, I'm like, any...

Any female candidates like, I'll be his vice president.

If you go back and read their quotes about Kavanaugh, look, I don't care what side of this political spectrum you're on.

I have no fucking stance on it, really, but it's just like, besides, I'm like, how, how can they not

just look like fucking assholes

for not mentioning it

or for not being like, no, he should step down?

Like, it, it's, what am I not seeing?

Help me, because

I can't wrap my head around it.

Like, I'm literally like, want to understand how

all those people that said that about Kavanaugh

are not saying it about Biden.

And I'm supposed to ever, with a straight fucking face, believe these people ever again.

Like, it's, what am I missing?

I'm asking people for guidance on that because it's so confusing.

Oh, you'll get it.

You'll get it.

Just go to Reddit.

Be careful what you wish for.

No,

I actually will go to Reddit to see this because I need help forming an opinion on it because it's fucking, it's not even two years later.

And the same fucking people are like, hey, vote for me, I'll be the vice president.

And you're like, but you were the one that was fucking saying, believe women.

And

I just can't get my head around it.

And I know now they're saying, like, well, we're just saying, you know, believe them credibly, you know, take them seriously, but that's not what you motherfuckers were saying at the time.

That is not.

That's the new spin now.

It's like, I just don't understand it.

Like, where, where, what am I supposed to do?

Who am I supposed to vote for?

A weak man looking for guidance, BQ.

I am laying myself bare on the altar of public help.

I don't know what to do

because

I can't take a female running mate for Joe Biden seriously.

Like, they have no,

like, if you said those things then and you're not sticking to your guns now, you have no fucking credibility.

And I don't mean that as in a, ah, gotcha sort of way.

I mean that in a little like, hey, I need some fucking help here.

I need somebody to run the country who has fucking morals and will stand up for what's right no matter what.

And these people are not doing that as I understand it.

Somebody help me.

Somebody who's helping.

I'm throwing a little caveat as I understand it.

Yeah.

I'm deadly confused.

Deadly confused.

Why the fuck could Bloomberg just win?

Why the fuck did people turn on Bloomberg?

Oh, I wanted him to be president, man.

Oh, I would have loved for him to be president.

Now you got the Blasio.

It's

unreal.

Oh, that's what I saw about me.

That's what I saw about me when I went to Reddit.

People like Quinn, some motherfucker was like, oh, I live in real New York City.

I've been here four years.

I'm like, bitch, I lived in this fucking city for 44 years.

My dad was a fucking

subway.

That's fine.

He needs you now.

Walt, he needs you more than ever.

No, that's fine.

That's all right.

You want to say fucking Stanton Island's not part of the city?

No big fucking deal.

Still been here 44 years.

My dad worked for the city of New York.

I fucking go, I'm in Manhattan six out of seven days a week for the past 20 years.

It's like, even if you want to make that joke that I don't live in the city, like, don't fucking, you haven't been around long enough to fucking tell me about the changes the city been through, bitch.

You've been here four years.

Like, trust with me.

I've seen the up and I've seen the down.

You were there in the Dinkins years.

Oh, fuck, dude.

I was there for it all, man.

I was going, I was on.

I was in the hot years, right?

I was there

on a fucking subway train with my dad in the 80s.

Okay.

You went by Bernie Goetz back then.

That was all his way through it.

Like, don't come here for a four-year fucking college degree and tell me that you know the city better than I do because you're living in Washington Square Park.

Go fuck off.

Just fuck off.

Look at these people.

It's so funny, man.

It's so funny.

Yeah, but whatever.

Whatever.

I love Bloomberg.

And he fucked me over a few times with union stuff, but the city was so nice onto him, man.

It was just perfect.

What a shame.

He laid a complete and utter egg, though, as I recall, during the,

what are those called, the debates.

He was not engaging, and he had no charisma, they said, Q.

Okay, yeah, I get it.

He was like Mr.

Burns, as I recall

the description of his demeanor.

Right.

All right.

Well, so we got the charisma machine that is known as fucking Biden.

Wow, Q, you're taking no prisoners.

I love it.

I, I just, I, I, I am, I am, I, I am, I, I know it sounds like I'm saying, like, gotcha, you motherfuckers.

I'm not.

I'm literally like, I don't know what to think about Biden and this whole sexual harassment thing.

And the people who normally fucking give guidance on that are fucking very quiet right now.

So I'm a little confused.

I'm just like, I don't know.

I don't know what to do.

I don't know what to do, guys.

There's nothing you can do, bro.

Cool.

I want to believe in something.

I want to believe in something again.

You got to get your chill back.

I definitely have no chill.

You're right about that.

You know what you can count on, though, Q?

What's that, bud?

Getting stuff wrong, but that's life.

But there are also things you can get right on the first try, like shopping for life insurance.

That's where policy genius comes in, son.

Once you apply, they'll handle all the paperwork and red tape for free.

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You can compare quotes from the top insurers to find your best price.

You could save $1,500 or more by using Policy Genius to compare these life insurance policies.

And they don't just make life insurance easy.

This Policy Genius thing also can help you find the right home and auto insurance or disability insurance.

Oh, to be disabled and collect for the rest of my life.

Man, that'd be sweet.

Wouldn't you be able to be zoned as like unable to do anything with all your conditions?

Yeah, they gave me an armband to wear around.

It's a star you got to pin to your chest.

Yeah.

No, I don't think it like being meditated, like there's medications for it.

Those type of people, it's like, no matter what you do, they're just not functional.

Like, even at my lowest, I was still kind of functional.

You know, so it takes a lot, I think, to get, unless you're like physically disabled you know and I'm willing to take that on too you know let's talk

did you hear that sound like a beep yeah dude you're still there

anything okay yeah I'm here okay so even if you look back on your triple denim days in distress Walt you'll never be distressed about life insurance with Policy Genius in just a few minutes you can find your best price and apply at policygenius.com we all get things wrong from time to time at least we can get life insurance right with policy genius okay there you go now I told you guys I had a little segment called Ha Ha, which is

more like ha ha,

a very sort of derisive and gleeful celebration of somebody

falling.

And this would be, we're talking about corona stuff.

An organizer of a North Carolina group calling on the state to ease its coronavirus restrictions was unable to attend two rallies because she tested positive for coronavirus.

So, ha ha to her.

She was out there without a mask.

She's protesting.

She's saying, hey, open everything up.

We don't want these restrictions.

More than 100 people, mainly unmasked protesters, crammed together to defy social distancing guidelines.

Not shockingly, she has not posted in her anti-corona mask Facebook group since then.

I actually saw a picture of this woman, and she was wearing a Tellum Steve Dave t-shirt, so maybe.

Yeah, her name is Audrey Whitlock.

So Audrey Whitlock, I hope you don't die.

I don't want you to die, but ha ha.

Maybe you listen to the experts.

A little light-hearted japery there?

A little ha-ha.

Hey, who doesn't love a little bit of japery from time to time?

Especially, you know, with this kind of stuff going on.

You need it.

What else did I have here?

I had some good stuff.

Oh, the other thing.

I got a.

Go ahead, Q.

No, this involves you, Brian, because I got a package in my mail today.

Oh, yeah.

A gift.

A gift from you.

Some erotica came my way, eh?

To add to your collection.

Yeah.

Walt, I got a box today.

I opened it up.

And I guess you told me one night when I was a little out of it because I didn't remember that you were sending me something.

You know, I'm fucking, I'm drinking that delicious RH beer here at Casa the Quinn every night.

I'm turning it to get them.

But so when I got it, I was like, there's no return address on it.

Um,

and I'm, I'm, I'm looking, I'm like, what?

I'm like, did I get drunk and order this?

I'm like, I don't remember.

And then I saw the handwriting and I was like, I know that handwriting anyway, that's Brian Johnson.

Then it came back to me.

So I got an ashtray, which is, Walt,

a woman lying in the ashtray,

tits, tits out, tits akimbo, and legs spread wide open, ready to receive a cigarette.

Quite sexy.

It's It's doing it for me in a way that, say, a still photo wouldn't do.

So this is great.

Thank you, dude.

Thank you.

Where'd you get this?

eBay.

I was looking for different stuff, and that just popped up.

And I was like, ooh, here you go.

It'll complement it perfectly, your statue.

I now have two pieces of erotica.

Thank you.

Thank you very much.

Yeah.

No problem, man.

Glad to do it.

Brian got me a gift, too.

Oh, yeah.

That's right.

What do you get?

get?

Yeah, he's giving out gifts lately.

Nothing that would induce

using.

Well, for you, it may, though.

I wasn't sure.

Yeah,

he knows who he's given his gifts to.

He knows his audience.

He gave me a board game involving the Universal Monsters.

Ooh.

What's the name of the board game?

I think it's called Killer Instinct.

And I made, it's something called Killer or something like that.

And i made the comment to briar i go yeah that's it and i was like they had such little confidence in the universal monster license that they don't even have anywhere on it except the back real small universal monsters um product

people are terrified i mean the the owners are terrified like it's your grandpa's fucking monsters

Yeah, and we are going to play it on Halloween queue.

Ooh, I love it.

Yeah, for a Halloween episode.

Bri had a good idea because because I asked my girls if they were interested in playing it, and they just giggled and laughed

and said, absolutely not.

So I figured, well, we'll use it on Tell'em Steve that.

It'll be our Halloween episode.

We'll do something fancy.

We'll get in costumes.

We'll film it hopefully by then, and we'll all be Universal Monsters and we'll play the game.

Oh, dude, I love that.

That's great.

It'll be like Mad Monster Party, right?

Yeah, exactly.

It'll have that vibe, that cool vibe.

You'll get your chill back, you don't worry.

I have no chill.

Yeah, I guess I need it.

The other thing about Corona was I saw in the paper that people were complaining that I guess the Blue Angels flew over in New York and a whole bunch of people went out there to look at them.

Oh, yeah, I was in my yard.

I saw them.

They were doing it in honor of health care workers or something like that.

And my feeling is like, so these jets that are thundering over the city,

you fucking really expect people who want to leave their home for any reason to not go outside when they hear that.

Like, you fucking seriously think that.

Like, that is.

Yeah.

People ignore those jets that are performing death-defying feats.

And that's all, you only know that once you go outside and look.

Before that, you might be like, holy shit, is something that hit the Freedom Tower?

Like, you don't fucking know.

Like, I didn't know they were flying over us.

I was like, what the fuck is that racket?

And, you know, they were flying over to go to New York.

I was excited.

My wife and my kids drove down to, I guess, to see it, and they were shooted away.

Like, there was park rangers down by the beach by us that was not allowing people to park and watch them fly over, like, they could see it from our house, she said.

Could you guys hold on just one second?

Yeah, yeah.

Very bad.

We should get a healthy amount of complaints about this episode, Walt.

Oh, yeah, man.

mean, this one is,

yeah, this one could be

a

well, I don't know.

I mean, I mean, it's all, I mean, how many more caveats and how many more explanations do people need, right?

I mean, how much more do they need to not be like to hold a grudge or to be stung by

comments?

Yeah, I'm here.

I'm back.

Yeah.

But it seems like that grudge was insincere to begin with, because how the fuck could you get upset?

Like, but common sense should have prevented that grudge like

yeah i i uh well there was somebody you know like i i get it though there are some type of people who hold um

beliefs and they they get so tied to them and they become so uh caught up in them that they leave no room or they don't even allow for any sort of

a joke to be made, a playful joke, anything, and that it just stings more than it really should or should it sting at all.

It's just they're jokes.

And if you're up to that point, if you're in that level of your, like, how you think or your leanings,

you must not be that fun to be around, I would have to say, in real life.

Very quickly, what are you guys talking about?

What grudge?

We were just talking about the, because when you went away, I said, oh, people probably have a lot to complain about with this episode, too.

And then we just got into it.

Oh, yeah, probably.

Oh, what are you going to do?

I mean, you can't, I mean, if if you're really that caught up and you're really that, like, if you get that stung by a comment, you really got to, I think, re-evaluate.

Because, I mean, how on earth?

Like, if I liked somebody, if I liked somebody, a comedian, or and there's comedians I like that are so left, like, you know, and I don't, I don't believe with everything they say, but I don't would never be like, oh, that's it.

I got to go tell them how wrong they are, or I can't listen to them anymore.

It doesn't matter.

I mean,

if you like somebody, you like somebody.

Unless

they say something beyond the pale.

Right.

Yeah, not something that it's not like, yeah, it's not like it was something so wildly out there and like has never been said before.

It's like, throw a rock and you're going to hit people who are saying similar things.

So like, why take such umbrage with

you saying it?

Because and I'm not equating myself with a comedian in any way, shape, or form.

Go on.

Go on.

I'm not.

I just said, I just use a comedian as an example.

Right.

Yeah,

it would take a lot for me to write to anyone about being offended about anything.

Like, to write to be like, hey, I didn't like that you said that.

Oh, boy.

Unless it were a person.

Yeah.

Unless somebody said something in the press personally about me.

But the idea being that

in normal situations where somebody says something that's like racially offensive or something like that, the idea behind it is like, look, man, like, of course you don't get offended, Brian.

Like, you're a white.

You know what I mean?

Like, you have no reason to get offended offended because the world is basically your oyster, which I kind of get.

So, if, like, somebody was ripping on white people, you're just like, whatever.

You could just roll off your back.

But if somebody was saying something about a specific group, people get upset because they're like, hey, man, there's only fucking 8% of the country and you guys are going to pick on us.

But I get it.

I understand that.

And if I was, I really, from the bottom of my heart, dude, I understand that.

But what Walt said.

did not fall under any of that whatsoever.

Like all he said is like, I think this will be over by June.

That's it.

Yeah.

It's,

they said they were mad because I brought up the

thing that I saw in the news.

Like, I don't know if you'll call it a rumor, but the possibility of a lab tech

being the cause of this, a lab tech getting exposed in China.

They were annoyed that that was brought up.

They were annoyed that I made a joke that, like, you, you can't trust all big brains, you know.

They're just annoyed overall about everything.

And they didn't.

But

that was a joke about Get'em.

Yeah, I know.

That wouldn't get me down.

I would be like,

you're too dumb to listen to the show.

You're not allowed anymore.

I better not.

We're going to do contact tracing and tell them Steve Dave Town.

When we find out, you've been listening, you asshole.

Well, I mean, you know, there's another

entertainment business, show biz saying that,

you know, it's a poor performer that blames the audience.

Yeah.

Maybe they're right.

And

you're wrong.

Yeah.

I've been wrong before.

I've been wrong before.

I mean,

I totally buy into that cue.

But the only,

you're not sure if you're wrong yet.

Because if you're like, I think it'll probably open up by June.

The only way you can know if you're right or wrong is I said Middle America.

I said Middle America will open up.

And they already are, right?

Yeah.

And they already are.

So I was right about that.

But didn't didn't Georgia open up?

And then, like, in Atlanta, like, the cases shot up 28% because everybody has to get their hair did and nails done and all that stuff.

I don't know.

I just wanted to get a haircut so bad.

Oh, you should grow it out.

Let's get our hockey haircut mullets back, man.

No.

I always want a haircut.

Giddam's offering right now to do my hair right now.

Oh, yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah, I don't like your haircut, though.

Giddam's saying he did his own hair.

Oh, I believe it.

It looks like he did, though.

Yeah, I believe it.

It looks like you did.

You know what?

I don't think you would have the same rapport, though.

Like, I don't think I would get the same sensations as Giddam doing my hair as I do with the

ladies

at shortcuts or whatever called supercuts.

Right.

Well, probably like Gidem's buzzers would be from like 1950 with like 1965 parts.

With real ram wool stuck in the fucking blades.

They'll have the backstory for the razor and bore you through the whole fucking haircut.

I can't believe, like, with all this Corona stuff, not a peep about the Navy releasing the UFO videos.

Well, this is your

thing.

I saw that.

Yeah.

They declassified what I guess had leaked anyway.

So it's not like, oh, this is a good thing.

I think they did it.

Misdirection?

I mean, are they they like, look, certain people are going to be like, well, this is awfully convenient, and we can't do anything about that.

But most people will just be like, oh, well, the government has to hide stuff from us because everybody would freak out if they knew there were UFOs or whatever.

I mean, it does look like a flying saucer, you know?

It sure does.

Do you...

I'm sorry, go ahead.

No, I was going to say, and those guys seem very like, what the fuck?

Like, for real.

They seem legitimately bewildered as to what's going on.

Calling each other dude and bro.

Do you either of you believe that it was aliens inside that UFO?

Nah.

A flying saucer.

Yeah.

It's just, it's 250s.

It's almost like...

But I mean, the Navy declassifies it, so it has to be real, right?

You would think?

I don't know.

I don't know what's real or not.

It's got to be a man-made.

It's got to be.

I'm going to say it's real, but I believe it's a man-made object.

There's not a chance on the fucking face of the earth that it's a fucking alien.

They would not release it if they thought it was a real alien thing.

That's the last thing that people need now during a pandemic is a fucking alien invasion.

Oh, my God.

Are you kidding me?

That would be the best.

Oh, my God.

I mean, talk about a turn of events where you're like, Two months ago, I was planning a wedding and now look at it.

Like, I'm an alien slave.

This really sucks.

You say tell them, Steve, Dave?

Yeah, sure, if you want.

I mean, like isolation and social distancing.

It's hard for me to get my cues.

Yeah, I know.

Hold on, let me try.

Hold on.

Tell him.

Fuck.

Tell him, Steve Dave.

Good enough.

Tell him, Steve Dave.

Tell him, Steve Dave.

Tell him, Steve Dave.

There you go.