#441.5: Frank5 and Bry Present: The 80’s in 80

Hello and welcome to Frank Five's 80s in Less Than 80.

That's where we promise to not talk more than an hour and 20 minutes, I guess.

Frank 5 and I are doing something new.

Next time you hear us, Frank will have his own mic, so it won't sound so like telephony,

which evidently a lot of people do not like.

Yeah, I mean, I have an iPhone 5, so I don't know what the problem is.

Right, yeah.

I mean, you're getting some 3G action that's unparalleled.

Exactly.

I mean, it's either that or the rotary landline that I have in my house.

I mean, you pick whatever one you want to do.

Yeah, the guy at Radio Shack hooked you up with some sort of contraption that can translate

signals.

So, anyway, what we're going to do, Frank Five, and we're giving this one away on the regular old Tell'em Steve Dave feed, and then any successive ones will be on Patreon.

We're just doing this for the hell of it as a beta.

Have you ever had a beta before?

No, no.

Mary used to have beta match.

And maybe a beta match.

That's about it.

Yeah.

But this is really just like two friends talking about a movie.

That's all.

It's not like as

detailed, right, as the other rewinds that we do on Patreon with the video.

It's really just, you know, we saw this movie and we're just going to talk a little bit about it, right?

Seems a little more casual, and

it's like if you and I went out to dinner, it would be pretty much the same conversation anyway.

You know, it's funny you say, speaking of that, you and I, we talked on Sunday.

After I got off the phone with you, Mary turns to me and she goes, you know what?

I really miss Brian Johnson and Mary Beth.

She goes, I can't wait till we can go back down there again.

And then she said, and get out of this house with you.

It has to throw that in there, right?

Yeah, yeah.

Yeah, but that's what Mary Beth said, though.

She's like, I wish Frank and and Mary lived closer.

I wish Troy and Meryl lived closer.

You know, she wants everyone to live closer.

I feel the same exactly.

Same exactly.

But at least we're being able to communicate through phone and stuff.

So this is kind of like,

I mean, you're probably, you and Walt are probably the people I talk to the most since this quarantine thing happened.

Other than Mary.

Other than Mary.

Yeah.

How's she doing, Mary?

Yeah, you know what?

She's doing well.

She just came home now.

She was down at her father's and she just threw some laundry in and she wants to go for a little ride later.

So we're going to go drive around a little bit.

But

it's starting to get to everybody.

The other day we had an exterminator come to the house because I had something up in my attic.

I heard some noise.

And I'm not kidding you, I was so starved for conversation that I kept the guy.

I kept the guy at my house for like 45 minutes.

We ended up talking about his divorce.

We ended up talking about his kids going to college.

I mean, it was just, and normally I'm not somebody who likes small talk, especially with people I don't know.

And I didn't want this guy to leave.

I mean, I'm literally hoping for Jehovah's Witnesses to come to the door.

You're like, no, no, no, no.

I think I heard another one up there.

You better go take a look.

I am very interested in changing my long distance service.

Tell me more.

Yeah.

It's

you know, they I read somewhere that I guess Ashley Madison, you know, they they couldn't they set married people up for affairs or whatever.

Like a lot of virtual affairs are taking place now, where I guess it's basically just cam stuff.

That would, I assume, that would be a virtual affair, right?

Now, let me tell you, let me ask you a question because Mary and I, we had this conversation, and this has nothing to do with the movie, but Mary and I have had this conversation.

Would that be something that you would consider cheating?

If I did it, no.

If she did it, yes.

I agree.

I agree.

I think guys and girls just look at it differently.

You know, if I'm included in something, I feel much better about it.

You know, the only reason that somebody wouldn't include you is because they feel there's no place for you there.

So

I guess if you feel like I would be like, well, there was a place for me.

You know, like

you went to Ashley Madison and now you're caming with another girl.

You know, I'll watch right outside the window.

Well, I never got to do anything like that because we still have dial-up up here.

So it would be very, very choppy to cam with somebody.

Yeah, just that video digi shit all over the place.

Boy, his penis is all blocky.

Look at that.

So anyway, we're doing this on what they say, Tuesday the 28th.

And I'm hoping to get it up by Tuesday the 28th.

We'll see if Declan can come through.

If not, it's the 29th.

And we're just kind of giving it to everyone

sort of a midweek between Tell them Steve Dave's as just something more to listen to.

You got 24 hours.

There's 24 hours in a day.

So you've got to fill it up with it.

There's always so much.

There's so much you guys can do.

Right.

So

if you're so bereft of entertainment that you want to listen to two guys talk about a movie that's almost 40 years old, it wasn't even a good movie, so don't think that either.

It's a piece of shit.

But it was one of those schlocky 80s movies, teen comedies, teen sex romps that came out.

It seemed like 10 a week were coming out.

Many of them Canadian, because I believe at the time, Canadian tax breaks would allow like 100% write-off or something if you invested in films.

So like rich people who are like, well, I don't want to pay taxes on this money would just invest in these small shitty films.

Just give somebody 100 grand to go play with whatever, you know?

Yeah, that makes sense.

Yeah.

But then like, you know, you'll get, and we're going to talk about this another time, Porky's, which was made on a small budget and then went on to make a fuck ton of money.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Huge, huge dollar.

And even Joysticks, I mean, which is what we're going to talk about today,

the turnaround or the amount of money that they made, considering what they invested in, I mean, it was pretty good considering that it's such a shitty movie.

It's

its incompetence.

is really like staggering in terms of telling the like you get the you get the gist of the story.

And the gist of the story is there's a guy, he's like a councilman, right?

Jodon Baker plays a councilman, I think.

Or a businessman.

Yeah, he's a businessman.

Yeah, and he's pissed that there's an arcade in town.

And he's not specifically pissed at anything as much as like it's going to contribute to the moral decay.

And he has a young daughter who frequents the arcade.

And he's mad about that.

And I guess the only way he feels he can keep her away is if he has the whole shebang shut down.

Her name was...

What was her name again?

Her name was.

Corinne.

Her real, let me see.

Her real name was Corinne Boher, B-O-H-R-E-R.

And she played Patsy,

the Valley Girl.

Yes, she did a

for my money, she was the best actor in the movie.

Her Valley Girl was really good.

Yeah, and, you know, and I looked her up afterwards, and she still pretty much looks the same.

Because she was cute, even in, you know, in the movie.

The movie took place in 83, and then seeing pictures of her, you know, today she looks very, very similar.

Yeah, I think I texted you mid-movie, and I was like, how fucking cute is Patsy?

Yeah, yeah.

Exactly.

I mean, I always do that.

Whenever we watch a movie or something, if I start seeing the players or some of these actresses, I start looking, going down the rabbit hole, looking for other things that they've done and so on.

And

she really didn't do too much after that.

It was pretty much this movie and a couple of other little dates, and then that was it.

So, I mean, he didn't have like a huge

ton of stars in it.

You know, there was that the most famous one, I think, at the time, the guy you just said, was that Jodon Baker.

Right.

Oh, yeah.

By far, the well-known character actor, even then.

So, he wants it shut down.

The owner, who's like a young, cool guy,

he schemes with some of his friends to stop him from doing it.

And the way it's decided is

that the owner, Jefferson, has to play in a video game duel with King Vidiot, who's like a very cartoonish comic booky punk rocker played by John Grease, who was

Uncle Rico from Napoleon Dynamite fame.

The best character in Napoleon Dynamite, as far as I'm concerned.

But not the not the best character in this one, though.

He was.

No, not even close.

No, and you couldn't.

You couldn't tell it was him.

You could not tell.

No, no, I, you know, I paused it many times because this, I ended up watching this.

Uh, if I watched it originally on Amazon, and then with Amazon, you can kind of pause it and they'll tell you who the cast members are.

And then when I went to go re-watch it, it wasn't on Amazon anymore, it was on that other site that I gave you.

Like,

or something, yeah, yeah, yeah.

So, I wasn't able to see it, but I ended up looking looking his stuff up afterwards.

But yeah, this was 1983 teen sex comedy, $300,000 it cost to make, and it brought back $3.9 million in 1983.

I mean, and it only has two stars.

It's a two-star rating on IMDb and pretty much everywhere else you see reviews.

But I think, you know, the return on investment for that movie is really, really good.

Which is the complete opposite of what they were looking for, probably.

They're looking for a tax shelter, and they're like,

how much did that piece of shit make?

Exactly.

Jodon Baker's like, let's do Joy Speech 2.

Yeah, definitely.

It was written by, I mean, well, it was directed by this guy, Graydon Clark, who I'm not going to bore you with his resume.

It was written by three guys.

I'm not going to bore you with their resumes, except to say

Curtis Buron,

who was one of the three writers, wrote Ladybugs, which, do you remember that movie?

Was it with Rodney Dangerfield?

Yeah, Rodney plays the coach of...

Soccer coach?

Yeah, he plays the coach of an all-girl soccer team and uses his fiancé's son, and

he dresses him up as a girl so like he's a ringer and the movies are a fucking complete piece of shit

and to uh to give you some context as to where comedy was uh in 1983 some of the movies that came out that year frank uh national lampoon's vacation trading places strange brew risky business Christmas story and monty python's meaning of life

so joysticks all good movies Joysticks was in good company.

That's about all they had going for it.

Yeah.

That's

yeah, they were a comedy in the same year.

That's their claim.

Well, anyway, it's amazing because, you know, we've been,

we started doing this, or I started looking since the quarantine started, just watching 80s movies.

And I actually found this joystick by accident.

I love arcade games, so I just went on Amazon and I did a search for arcade games,

arcade movies, movies having to do with arcades.

And this came up and I started watching it.

And it's just kind of amazing that in the 80s, all these really good movies came out, these iconic movies, right?

Back to the Future, Karate Kid, Adventures and Babysitting, Cocktail.

And then you have Porkies, and then you have Joysticks, which tries to follow the same type of, you know, the romance story, the, we got to get one over on the man story, and it still just kind of falls flat.

So the movie starts out

with

a very

cliche dork.

Like he can barely contain himself, like contain his nerdiness.

He's driving down the street, and

the two girls in a convertible pull up to the side of him.

And actually, the movie starts with shots in the arcade.

I forgot that.

It actually starts with Montage in the Arcade, which shows a lot of young girls' asses.

It's just all games and teen girl ass, like short shorts, like hugging their fucking little buttocks and crap.

This guy who directed this, I think he also directed this movie Fun, which

was another sort of pervy movie.

Renee Humphrey was in it, the girl who played Trish the Dish and Mulrats.

Oh, yeah, yeah, okay.

I'm pretty sure that was this guy.

Maybe not.

I used to go to a lot of arcades when I was a kid.

I mean, even now, because I just love that stuff.

And I can tell you that what they were showing in that montage was never anything I saw in an arcade.

Did you see?

Yeah, I actually had some questions for you about the arcades.

So you had an arcade you went to when you were young.

When would you say, like, what was that age?

Oh, God.

I was going to an arcade probably since, like, from nine until, to be honest with you,

I still do it.

You know, if we're at the mall and there's a Dave and Buster's, Mary will go shop and I'll go into the arcade.

Right.

Now, nine, are you going by yourself?

Like, how do you get there?

Usually it was with friends and it was, you know, the kind of deal where, you know, your mom drops off and my mom will pick up.

You know, that kind of thing.

I really remember it being like right around, you know, 10 or 11 years old is when we were really, really hanging around the arcades a lot.

We had two malls in our area.

Both had two arcades in them each.

So, you know, one weekend you pick one mall, another weekend you pick the other mall.

Huh.

And that was back when you could drop a nine-year-old off at the mall and nobody said boo.

Right.

Oh, yeah.

I remember, yeah, I remember us going to the movies and then afterwards going and hanging out at the arcade and staying there to six, seven o'clock, and then parents come and pick you up.

No problem whatsoever.

Yeah.

For me,

this would have been because you're younger than I am, right?

How old are you again?

Yeah, not much.

I'm 48.

48?

Okay, I'm 52.

So, yeah, there's a four-year difference there.

Arcades were not big when I was young because there was really only pinball, like at least in our area.

So, like, Walt and I, we would look for pinball machines and many times would play in bars.

There was a bar called the Webb.

There was another bar called the Pump House.

So, our bars were your malls where it's like, until we got kicked out of the bar because people would be like, why are two kids in here playing pinball?

Because I'm talking like 11, 12 years old.

There was a Chinese restaurant that had a few pinball machines, but like until the early 80s, when like right now, you could tell in this movie, video games were the shit.

They were like the Pokemon cards of the Pokemon craze.

That's all people cared about were video games at the time, whether they be the home consoles or the, you know, the big Space Invaders, Defender, all that shit.

Yeah, it's kind of sad that nowadays, I mean, the kids don't have that.

I mean, I guess every generation thinks they had it better, but I'll go into an arcade now and, you know, all of the games there are just games to win tickets or, you know,

win a prize or something.

It's not the same feeling as it was when I was younger.

I went to Wildwood a couple years back and the arcades that I used to go to, every single machine was, you pay like $2

and every game wins like some kind of stuffed animal, which means they're getting them for 50 cents and they're just making $1.50 on everyone.

But I'm like, there's not one real

game here.

This is...

Right.

This is absolutely.

There's no skill.

No.

Yeah, there's no skill.

I mean, back then, you know.

I don't want that stuff, Donald.

Who gives a fuck?

Exactly.

I mean,

this was a huge deal in the 80s with the arcades.

I mean, they had Pac-Man Fever came out.

So they had all these arcade songs,

t-shirts, posters.

I mean, the arcades were huge back then.

It's funny to see how they just basically disappeared.

That's why whenever I go to Red Bank, I have to go to Yestercades.

Yeah, Silverball, I think, is even better.

It has better lighting.

Yestercades, my problem is they have skylights, which put a lot of light down on those pinball machines.

You can't see them half the time.

So there's another one called Super Bowls?

Silverball down in Asbury Park.

Oh, okay.

Okay, yeah, the museum, right?

It's a pinball.

That's a real good one.

Now, as you got older, did your parents want you to stay away from the arcade?

Because I know mine did.

No.

No, I think Titan were just happy that I had friends and that

I was able to go and do something.

It's like, oh, somebody wants to be with them.

Let them go to the mall, you know?

No,

they didn't care.

They really didn't care.

Yeah, my mother was

big on.

She was kind of like Joe Donbaker, light.

Like,

she was too lazy to go to the council and be like, shut it down.

But enough that she would give me shit about how I shouldn't go.

Now, unlike Patsy, I mean, you know, like Patsy, I didn't listen.

I would still go.

And she's like, you know, they sell drugs there and blah, blah, blah, and all that shit.

And you're like, no, they don't.

No, they don't.

But meanwhile, the place got shut down for the guy selling drugs, you know.

So anything parents would think about the arcade was probably true.

Like it was likely true that that's what was going on.

But I mean, what are you going to do?

You just got to trust your kid and hope for for the best.

You cross your fingers.

You drop them off when they're nine and hope they don't end up like Adam Walsh, you know?

Oh, geez.

So, anyway,

what is it?

So, Eugene, right?

Eugene was the nerd.

Eugene was the nerd.

He was on his way to work, first day of work.

Yeah, he was going to work at the arcade, and two girls pull up next to him, and they're like, we have to do some kind of hazing ritual for our sorority.

They're sorority girls, they claim.

And that's when the tops come off.

And that's, as far as titty count, those are four titties in the convertible.

Right in the middle of like the street.

And

it's incredible.

Again, have you ever had an experience, ever?

I knew, you know what?

I knew you were going to ask this, so I really thought long and hard.

My very first job was I worked worked at auntie ann's pretzels when i was a kid yeah so i yeah i know how to make the they are good not after you've worked there for so many years but yeah they're good and i had never once had anybody come on to me or or show me their cleavage or anything while i worked at auntie ann' the closest that ever happened and i'm telling you this is god's truth there was an older man who had very very arthritic fingers like they were almost like claws And he would come and stand there and talk to me, you know, 10, 15 minutes at a time.

Then he'd go walking around the mall, and then he'd come back and he'd talk to me 10, 15 minutes again.

That was as close as I have ever gotten to getting anything

at work on the first day or on my first cover at it.

Bothered by a crippled man.

That's the closest you ever came to tits.

That was it.

I wonder what John's up to now.

I guess I know his name.

Yeah.

As far as working and unsolicited, hey, you want to see my boobs?

I mean, I did a lot of like low-end blue-collar jobs, and I feel like it probably didn't happen until I was on TV.

And then

maybe sometimes.

But not even then, really, not even then, where people are just like would total strangers?

Absolutely not, never.

If we're talking about the exact same situation, no.

But again, I don't think anyone has.

You know, like, if you ask enough girls who have been gone to college, they're like, I have never been involved with nor witnessed a topless pillow fight.

Right.

You know, which crushes a lot of childhood visions.

Yeah, and the thing is, these two women who were doing this to this nerd, they were hot.

I mean, I think one of them was a

playmate.

I think I looked her up.

I mean, so it wasn't like, like you said, it wasn't like, you know, the crippled finger guy or, you know, very, very overweight people going for pretzels, you know, wanting to show me anything.

These were gorgeous women that took him out of his car and thought he was going to have sex with them right there in the middle of the street.

Yeah, they're pulling his pants down.

And the real

joke was that they were trying to get his pants off so he didn't have pants.

They were never going to fuck him.

No, no, no.

He didn't think so.

He thought so, but no, that was never going to happen.

Yeah, but still, they did like whip out their boobs and rub them all over them and stuff which is more than like i mean if you think of the dorks in in high school and shit

that's more than you could have ever hoped forward to adult women doing this which again it's child molestation because he it was he it was alluded to that he's in high school so that's that's the way it is how about how about how about the cop car drives by and just keeps going keeps going yeah so

so so after the cop car sees this and then the girls take off and then he's left pantsless now.

He's back en route to the arcade and that's where we meet the owner and now the two girls are there

who were in the car and it turns out they're friends of Jefferson's and the whole thing was a prank to get Eugene's pants.

Yeah.

Eugene's pants off.

We don't know any of these people, so I don't know why we would care.

But when Eugene comes in, the girls again attack him and start rubbing his crotch with their hands like they're rubbing all over him and shit which is more yeah again like you know nobody's gonna crow about this you know these days but that they're definitely molesting a child like you yeah that's decidedly against the law

well and right there in public and right in front of everybody and you know

i don't know it was it was it was kind of it was interesting it was definitely an interesting thing.

Yeah, Jeff, Jeff Bailey, so he's running the arcade, right?

He's running it for his grandfather.

His grandfather's out of town, I believe.

And he's the one running it for him.

Let me see.

Yeah, as you said, the girls are hitting on him.

They collected his pants.

And then,

how about when we get to the arcade, we start to see an array of weird customers?

Right.

All these weird people in the arcade.

There was like a monk.

There was somebody who was acting like Curly from Three Stooges.

I mean, just a bunch of weird, weird dynamics there.

A slob playing Pac-Man who was one of the main characters.

Yeah,

did you feel like he

like that was their answer to Belushi?

It's like he's the big fat slob who

Belushi died in 1982, so let's assume the movie was made in 82, if it came out in 83.

It could be that he's like, I'm going to just model the character after balushi

or any number of you know heavy set guys you know dom delouies or whoever's doing that shit then but what was his name like mcdorfus or

yeah uh john mcdorf or jonathan andrew mcdorfus and they just called him dorfus in there and that's exactly what i thought of the first time i saw him i thought that he was the um the Belushi character.

Absolutely.

And, you know, he was very, very, he was like this video game survived almost.

And he was just enthralled in this Pac-Man game and to the point where he was ready to get a high score, I think it was, or something.

And I think was that Eugene was asking him something or wanted to clean the screen.

And then he had to, you know, he didn't get the high score.

He didn't get to a million points.

And he wanted to go inside the video game to actually see how it runs, you know, looking at the wires and this and that.

So I think he's really like a really, really bizarre kind of character.

A lot of fart jokes came from McDorfus.

Yeah, McDorfus was the comic relief, the lowbrow comic relief.

Yeah, this was definitely modeled for like 13 to 15 year olds for a movie, I think.

Even with the boobs.

Even with the boobs, because back then, like,

you were definitely, you know, if you went to the movies, like, you know, I remember seeing like Caged

Chained Heat, not Caged Heat, but Chained Heat, the Linda Blair one, like in 1982, 83, somewhere in there.

So, you know, you're like 12, 13, 14, and nobody's checking your ID because they don't give a fuck.

And,

like, do I, like, do I, why do I give a fuck about a women's prison movie?

I'll tell you.

Two reasons times however many women are in that movie.

Exactly.

Same reason I saw Showgirls.

Yeah.

That you suffered through that movie, that total piece of crap.

Oh, God.

So then we have to, oh, punk rocker gang, right?

Punk rocker game shows up.

The videoettes or videos.

King Vidiott.

King Vidiot and his videoettes.

Yes, they're like four girls that dress like...

They're all punk rockers.

And again, where did you grow up?

You grew up in

Central New York.

Central New York.

Okay, I grew up in the Jersey Shore.

I never once ever saw a punk rocker.

That is a very typical punk rocker in movies, like with the face, like the white pancake makeup, and then like the overly done Mohawks and all this shit.

Now, maybe in New York, you know, where,

but, like, in suburban Jersey, like, this was, it was just all fake.

Yeah.

You know, I mean, things

here.

No, same here.

I mean, Central New York, it was, you know, we had a little bit of a Madonna craze.

You know, the women dressed like, the girls dressed like Madonna.

That was kind of the big thing, but we never, I never saw a punk rock thing.

Maybe more for the real New York, like dying in New York City and so on, but not so much upstate.

We didn't really experience that, or I did in any way.

You're not referring to Staten Island when you say the real New York, right?

No, we almost said Hampton.

So then you meet the main players, and I believe that's when John, Jodon Baker, shows up.

And, well, first you meet Patsy.

That's the Valley girl.

Did you know any Valley girls?

Like, were there girls who spoke overly affected?

No.

We didn't have that either.

Yeah, it was a West Coast thing.

But we did see it where I lived because since we're right on the beach, there were surfer people, and I think that they adopted sort of that same

ass

bullshit

effect.

I was going to say, I can't think of a more annoying speech pattern.

You'll lighter speed.

Bullshit.

Like, you're not Spokoli.

You'll never be.

There's one spicy.

Right.

But yeah, you get to, yeah.

So she was hanging out at the arcade.

The father shows up for such a busy businessman.

He was at the arcade an awful lot.

He showed up to grab his daughter, wanted to pull his daughter out of this

house of ill

reprint, I guess.

I don't know.

And

what ended up happening was the manager

asked these other two girls, I think it was the ones that rubbed Eugene's crotch, if they wanted to go into his office and play strip

strip video game or strip Pac-Man or something like that.

Yeah.

So they went into the office to start playing this game where they had to take their clothes off and there's a bed in the office.

Which is kind of weird because the grandfather is the one who originally owns the arcade.

So why does this 80-year-old man need a bed in his office?

You know, probably for naps.

At one time, it could have been to cheat on his wife, but I'll bet you it was for naps.

Yeah, it's three o'clock.

I need to take a nap.

So, so he starts messing around with the girls because the girls really were into him.

And so they start getting out of bed, and there's starting to be a threesome going on,

which I can tell you never ended at any hands

certainly not at that age yeah that's that's like you're still trying to lock one down two yeah

forget about it still trying to work on two

do you think do you think you got your work cut out for you is i i feel like uh miss five is not immutable to that sort of thing

No, you don't know, please.

I told you,

when I was watching Porkies,

we had the back door open that leads out into our backyard, and the sex noise that was coming from the um movie, she got up and she's like, What are the neighbors gonna think?

You need to lower that.

She actually got up to shut the door to make sure nobody was listening.

To you know, I don't want them to think you're watching a porno, so I seriously doubt that that's gonna happen.

Actually, she's we can ask her right now.

I wonder,

I wonder, Mary, yeah, tell her I want to know.

Hey, I've got a quick question for you.

Can you hear?

Okay, Mary, uh, would you ever

allow a threesome to happen?

Did you ask me this question?

Well, it's a neighbors.

I can't hear you.

Is that a yes or no?

No.

It's enough.

All right, go back to sleeping.

Did you hear she goes outside?

You got to ask me this question.

All right, yeah, so that's going to be a hard no, I guess.

She doesn't have a zest for life, huh?

Like you only live once type thing.

I've called her many times.

She is the anchor on the ship of fun.

Well, I mean, any woman who, like, if their guy approaches them with, like, hey, what do you think about a threesome?

All they have to be like, well, sure, if it's another guy.

And that would shut you down immediately, right?

You're right.

You're right.

She'll be like, let me give Lawrence a call.

He's right down the street.

That seems like it would not be as fun.

No, no, not at all.

So, yeah, so they're in the middle of their threesome.

Who goes up on the roof?

Eugene and somebody else?

It was another,

I think.

It was another.

Yeah, I think it was McDorfus and definitely Eugene because then what happens is.

And did you notice in this part and many other parts,

this is where I talk about the incompetence.

Their eyelines are so off that you're like, what the fuck are they looking at?

Like, they're certainly not looking at the person they're supposed to be talking to.

It looks like they're like, and even the girls at first, like in that first scene, they seem very like nervous.

I would be too if I'm sitting there naked on camera and I'm supposed to be looking seductive and shit.

But a lot of times the women with their tops off, they just look nervous and almost looking to the director or whoever's off camera to be like, what do I do here?

What am I supposed to do?

There were a couple of times too, like I noticed like the camera was, it looked like they were more concerned with showing the boobs.

So the cameras were a lot lower and they were like almost looking off to the left above the camera.

Right.

So, yeah, you're right.

You don't know what the heck they were looking at.

Yeah.

So, okay, yeah.

So, now he's on the roof with McDorfus

and he's looking down through the moonroof of a limo, right?

No, he's looking through the moonroof of the office.

Oh, the office.

This is where the big thing, yes.

They do the

fire extinguisher through a pipe in the ceiling, and it floods the office so that they now think that it's on fire.

The alarm goes off, and the two naked girls run out of the office into the arcade and just happen to run into the arms of Patsy's father.

So this is kind of a big part of the movie because then they snap a picture of Patsy's father with these two topless girls.

Right, that's the evidence that will come into play later on.

But before that, McDorfus was on a roof, I thought, weren't two people in a limo in a hot tub, and he falls through the moonroof into the hot tub.

Did that happen before the threesome thing?

I don't know.

I can't remember now.

It was a fun first day for this kid.

Yeah, there was a van in the parking lot, and Juji went in and was saying that he heard some noises coming out of the van or whatever.

And they said, well, you better go and check it out.

And he got on top of the van.

I don't know why he wouldn't just knock or look through the window.

He gets on top of the van, sees that a guy and a girl are in the van in a hot tub, and falls into the hot tub with the guy and the girl.

Yeah.

And I mean, I'm not sure who, like you said, the one girl was very attractive, but then, like, for every one of them, there's a girl whose breasts are unfortunate.

And

you're like, why her?

Like, you're in fucking LA, I'm assuming, or you're in one of the bigger city casting this shit.

Like, I just don't catch it.

But again, it wasn't risky business.

It was fucking joysticks.

So that's probably the reason.

That's right.

That's right.

80s boobs,

whoever would be willing to do it, it should be probably hired.

Yeah.

So

I can't remember where that fell into place, but also before that,

you see Patsy and her dad,

the businessman, they're at home.

She's out tanning, looking all funny and shit.

And dad shows up and he's like basically like i don't want you to go to that arcade and she's like i want to go to the arcade he's like don't go to that arcade and the two uh his two nephews were with him who one of the guys was uh one of the daryls from new heart yeah i was shocked by that people are like what the what what are you guys talking at new heart what is that

new heart next week yeah and you know what once you found out that he was the Daryl from Newhart, he was the Daryl, the shorter Daryl.

You could see it, You know, like at first, I'm watching him, like, this guy really looks familiar.

Then when I found out who he was, I was like, oh, yeah, I totally see it now.

As I said to Mary Beth, I'm like, I think that's Daryl.

She's like, I have no idea what you're talking about.

From New Heart, she's like, I have no idea what you're talking about.

She's like, what's the new heart?

Yeah.

This is happening more and more, Brian.

I don't understand these references.

Yeah, she's like, are you so old you need a new heart?

I'm like,

not yet.

Soon, though.

So

she's in a bathing suit, a very skimpy bikini, and

the nephews who would be her cousins are gawking at her and shit.

And it was weird, right?

It was like a weird moment.

And then he's like, the dad, Jodon Baker, the businessman, is like, you better not go to that arcade.

And she stands up.

And it was such a great moment.

I think it was the best moment in the movie where she, like the way she played it, she's like, daddy, if I want to go to that arcade, I'm going to go to that arcade.

And then she's like, and she she holds her nose and jumps in the pool in such a passive-aggressive way that you're like, that little bitch.

Like, if that was my daughter, I'd want to strangle her.

She cannonballed right into that pool.

And the two nephews who were supposed to be the henchmen, too, it was kind of funny because you usually picture like bodyguards or henchmen to be like these big, tough guys.

This one guy wore a baseball cap through the entire movie.

They were new people to be reckoned with.

Not at all.

No, no, no, not at all, not at all.

And so their bright idea was they wanted to get into the uncle's good graces.

So they were going to try and do something to the arcade.

So before they could figure out what they wanted to do to sabotage the arcade, they dressed up.

Now, these are the two nephews.

They dressed up as tippy boyfriend and girlfriend to go into the arcade to do reconnaissance.

Right?

And

so they're walking through this arcade.

And the one that played Daryl, I mean,

his name in the movie was Max, but he was known as Maxine in this scene.

Vidat, Vinny Lette, or Vinny, whatever his name was,

fell in love with Max

and kept wanting to get busy with Max.

And I mean, it's not even like it's a good drag queen.

I mean, you can tell it's just a guy in a dress.

Yeah.

There were so many strange angles that they decided to take.

Yeah.

Yeah.

So she's like, fuck you.

I mean, basically, her whole bit was essentially, she could have been like, go fuck yourself, jumped in the pool, and that would have been it.

But she did it in such a great way, I thought.

There was a guy in the movie, too.

I mean, I don't know if you noticed him, but his name is Reed Kruikshanks.

He was a coach towards the end of the movie.

I thought he was Brian Keith.

He looks so much like Brian Keith.

Again, people are like, who the fuck is that?

But he looks so much like him.

I don't know if you noticed him.

He played a coach towards the end.

I remember the coach at the end because it was like they had a trial, which was taking place

at the city hall meeting.

They had a trial.

And I remember him, and then it was like, did they have a nun or a teacher or something?

Some other people there

trying to think of who else.

The coach, and it was just, you know, people who were for the arcade, people who were against the arcade.

And

it was wild.

Coach Straight was his name coach straight yeah i just looked it up yeah

that's right so

so there are a couple more instances as we go along of sexual assault uh or or assault that takes place during sex one is that um no why did

why did she why did they want to sneak into her room Oh, because they thought they were going to have sex with somebody else.

Like, at one point, they're trying to sneak into Mrs.

Rudder's room.

Right.

McDonald's.

What the hell?

Yeah, they were, oh Melly can't remember.

They were trying to sneak into the house for something.

They ended up in

the Rutter's bedroom.

And was it, because this happened, did it happen twice?

Was it Eugene?

Eugene first got into the room, right?

I think it was.

Yeah, it was Eugene.

I think it was Eugene.

Yeah.

Eugene got into the room first.

Now, she's all hopped up on pills is what it looks, what you're led to believe, because there's a big bottle of pills on the nightstand

and she is like sleeping but she's not sleeping he happens to

eugene happens to trip or something ends up in the bed with the wife of jodon baker and she starts molesting him while she's sleeping thinking that it's her husband who is this 68 year old 200 pound man she's confusing him somehow with this little nerdy guy and she starts trying to to molest him she thinks she she's ready for sex yeah she had the best line in the movie right here where she's like whatever i can't remember what his name was whatever his name she goes assert your manhood

that line made me laugh when she said that

well he called it simpa right wasn't that his manhood

the nickname was simply uh so then the husband comes home And now all three of them are in bed.

And he doesn't notice anything.

He doesn't hear the moaning.

No.

He doesn't notice all the movement and gyration.

None of it.

I wrote that down.

I, you know, if I'm in bed and Mary gets up, I notice.

So I don't know how you could walk into a bedroom, change, get into bed, and not know that there is a third person there with you, especially when your wife is all over him.

Yeah.

Yeah.

He's moaning and everything.

And he's just like, oh, go to sleep.

You know,

I'm tired or whatever.

And

she's going to town.

So the bright idea to get Eugene out of the house is McDorfus

goes and rings the doorbell.

Now, it's supposed to be like two o'clock in the morning or something and starts asking these weird questions.

He needs somebody to talk to.

Jodon Baker goes downstairs, he opens the door.

McDorfus is standing there, and this Jodon Baker is like, What do you want?

And he's like, I just need somebody to talk to.

My girlfriend ran off, or you know, he's coming up with all these different problems.

And the thing that baffles me is the guy is standing there listening to him.

Right.

I mean,

yeah, if somebody came to your house, I mean, if somebody came, don't get me wrong, if somebody came to me now during the quarantine, I would be totally forward listening to whatever they have to say.

But before this, if somebody came and now they're going to just talk to me about their breakup or whatever, I wouldn't stand there, especially at two o'clock in the morning.

Yeah, these days, somebody's like, Hey, you want to hear about vermin?

You're like, Do I?

You bet I do.

So

Eugene ends up escaping escaping because now Jodon Baker is downstairs talking to McDorfis, but then

Eugene ends up falling off the porch right in front of Jodon Baker.

So it wasn't a clean escape, apparently.

It was just, you know, that was it, yeah.

And this makes him extra mad, Jodon Baker.

And I think, is this

where they pull the evidence out?

Or

do we see Jefferson's first time having sex?

I think evidence comes later.

Evidence comes later.

So for some reason we see Jefferson Bailey's tale of the first time having sex where I can't exactly recall the reason but he slaps the shit out of her at one point

of the girl?

Yeah.

He slapped her.

I can't remember because he's like he smacks her and but I can't remember his reasoning now.

I should have fucking written it down.

These are like I watch these movies and I'm like I'll remember it.

I'll remember it.

And then I know it.

Yeah, I think what happened was, so Jefferson, the main thing through the movie is that he runs this arcade for his grandfather, and he doesn't play any of the video games.

And it comes out toward the end that the reason he doesn't play any of these video games is because his first time

trying to have sex with his girlfriend Sandy,

somebody came, the father walked in on them, I think is what it was.

And it caused all this problem or anything.

And I think he pushed Sandy off of him.

And then the dad smacks her, right?

And she's naked.

The dad is slapping around his nude teenage daughter.

In front of the boyfriend.

That's right.

That's what happened.

Oh, my God.

So, I mean, it's just horrible, this movie.

So that's why Jefferson no longer wants to play any of these video games.

Right.

So that's that's kind of the

reoccurring theme or the thing

that'll pop up at the end.

So I try to think.

So after the reconnaissance though, the two henchmen come up with this plan of how they're going to get in Jodon Baker's Good Graces.

They're going to steal these arcade games.

Is that right?

That's right, yeah.

Yeah, so they what they rent like a U-Haul and they have this grand idea of we're going to go there at night, we're going to take all these video games and then you know they won't be able to, the arcade won't be able to make any money.

And

that's going to be it.

And I forgot how, I think Eugene heard the story or somebody heard it.

Somebody over there.

Somebody knew what, yeah, somebody knew what the plan was.

So they end up,

what did they do?

I think they took the gas out of the truck while the two nephews were inside loading it up with video games.

And then when they left to go get gas, they had to go get a gas can or something.

They ended up taking the video games out of the truck.

Yeah, they they unloaded

back into the arcade.

Right.

So the nephews drove off thinking that they had all these video games and they didn't have anything.

Right.

And then I think that's when they did the protest after that,

where they had all the people picketing out in front.

Right.

I noticed that picketers, like, they have a sign that looks like it's like...

Like a yard sale sign on a stake that they just pulled up out of the ground and wrote whatever they're against on it.

And then they walk in a circle and their arms just go up and down as they chant whatever

chat.

Protests, it just seems so boring, man.

I guess I kind of get Antifa.

Like, how it's like, what's more fun throwing a wire trash can through somebody's windshield or walking in a circle, you know?

Well, and the fact that there was only like five of them, you know, you had five people protesting the arcade.

Yeah, like, unless the entire population is ten.

That's not a significant dent.

You've never been a part of any protest or

pickety, have you?

One time,

it was during the Iraq war, and I was in San Francisco because my brother lived there.

I went on this 6,000-mile motorcycle ride.

And

so my brother, Eric, lives in San Francisco, and he's like, hey, there's going to be this protest down at

some park.

And I was like, I'll go look at protest hippies.

I'll check them out.

And then so once I'm there, you start smoking weed and shit, and then everyone starts walking, and I'm like, all right, I guess I'll walk.

Now, I was neither for nor against anything, but I'm like, I guess we're going to walk now.

So I just walked around with people.

And we didn't walk in a circle.

It was like a pretty decent, like

a pretty decent length of road we walked.

You protested by accident.

Yeah.

But I don't remember like holding up traffic or anything.

I think it might have been like a predetermined route or something.

Like if you have a sanctioned protest, I don't know.

It doesn't seem as protesty.

Yeah, we never, I mean,

I was involved in one once, and that was because we went without a contract as a, our teachers' union.

So we were like without a contract for three years, and we had to,

you know, we picketed like in front of the school.

Yeah, that was it.

I had to hold up a sign and everything.

And, you know, walk in a circle.

That was, yeah, walked in a circle.

I mean, yours was definitely more fun, I can guarantee you.

Yeah, Edgar was in one once.

Really?

Yeah, he shot someone at Kent State.

Oh, man, you got to call me more.

Yeah, I like talking to you.

It's fun.

Mary Beth was like, I miss the Franks.

I want want to go out with them.

Well, you know, I told Mary that

I'm willing if these other states are open to go to them.

And she, you know, she's just dead set against it.

But I mean, like, I mean, I don't think they'll open up New Jersey before they open up New York.

That's not going to happen.

Probably not.

Yeah.

At least in your area, you'll probably be open before we are.

Yeah.

The cities will probably be the like the Manhattan will be the last to go.

But you know, what's kind of scary, not scary, but what's kind of wild about it is the fact that they're canceling so many things so far out in advance.

I was watching the governor today.

He was actually up around where I was, where we live, and he said basically they're not having the New York State Fair.

That's basically what he said.

And I mean, that's kind of a big deal because they said that they get like over a million and a half people to that date just in the week.

Now, the state fair usually takes place like right around, I think it's like August, August or early, early September.

So, I mean, to cancel something that far out, that's pretty wild.

Well, I think they're also accounting for like people are not going to jump right back into doing shit, you know?

They're going to be like, they're still going to be cautious.

I was thinking yesterday because I was in a place and I saw a person without a mask.

And I was like, at one time, and it wasn't that long ago, if you go into Target or a grocery store and you see somebody with a mask, you're like, look at this one.

Now, if you fucking see someone without a mask, you're like, what are you out of your fucking mind?

Yes, exactly.

I feel the same effect.

It's almost like a slap in the face.

You know, I'm walking around in this heavy mask and you're not.

And it's like, you know, it makes you want to be grass if not for fear of the fucking virus.

Absolutely.

Absolutely.

How are you on this?

You got masks?

Yeah, we got masks.

We got gloves.

See, I'm a big proponent of

not toilet paper, but like those flushable wipes.

Right.

Like, I have, I had so many of them already, just before any of this started, that I'm like, I'm probably good for three or four months.

So

anything that is involved down there, yeah, it's like we're pretty decent, you know?

Yeah, that's good.

My wife's brother is somebody who's way over the top with this kind of stuff.

And when this all started, I mean, he came to us with these boxes of masks.

You know, here, you're going to need these.

I was like, all right.

And I just kept them in the basement, mocking him for weeks until, guess what?

Two weeks ago, I started wearing a mask every time I go out now.

Yeah, fuck yeah.

Yeah, you gotta.

All right, so.

Oh, you know what?

I want to ask you, though, I want to have a general question going back to like the

first time flashback gotten thrown around.

Okay.

Are you tired?

Have you tired of the teen sex romp?

Has the whole genre just run its course, at least for

like a modern audience?

Because you can't even say, like, oh, well, you know,

like, say, Alma House was the hangover, was

American Pie, you know, any number

of those type of movies, like Reibald shit.

But more, I guess, like, like, American Pie

kind of objectifies Shannon Elizabeth, right?

Like, it's all about her kits whenever she's on screen or how hot she is.

And now, with all this woke shit, like, is this kind of stuff going to become less and less?

I think so.

I mean,

I know that I'm far from the demographic that they're looking for for teen comedies, but especially teen sex comedies.

But, you know, you can just kind of see that the world

is changing.

People's personalities, people with people like, I mean, it's just it's different now.

You know, now

I mean, look at they want to have more positive female role models in movies, you know, which they should.

So I find it very hard to believe that somebody would make

a teen sex comedy again, which objectifies women.

I just don't think that the society that we have now would allow it.

That person would just get brutalized on social media now.

And, you know, it's just, and the thing with these movies is, I mean,

it was the time.

And I'm not, you know, I'm not trying to excuse any.

I mean, it sounds horrible, but I'm not trying to excuse anything, but that's the way it was you know but also like think about how old you were and it's like anyone holding us responsible for 80s teen comedies it's like look we went and saw them because we were fucking 13 14 years old right like i didn't make the movies like yes i enjoyed them and i enjoyed the tits and i enjoyed the fucking the the story whatever some i did some i didn't but the point being is like why am i held accountable because i liked them back then it's like trust me i don't like them that much now it would just rip apart fucking joysticks.

Exactly.

Yeah, yeah.

It's just, it is.

It's just a different.

I don't know.

It's like, are you mad at me because I enjoyed women's breasts as a child?

Is that what this is about?

Because I still enjoy them.

I still, let me tell you, I don't know about you.

I got to say, I felt almost like a kid again watching this movie.

I remember when I was younger, we had Cinemax at my house, and I would go downstairs late at night and watch, you know, Friday nights at, you know, 10, 11 o'clock is when all those movies came on.

And the minute anything came on that was sexual or whatever, turned the volume way down, right?

So you're just sitting in front of the TV watching what's going on.

When I was watching joysticks, I found myself doing the exact same thing.

I mean, I'm almost 50 years old, and when they're having sex, I'm turning the volume down.

Yeah,

it's well, I'll tell you, like, I'm going beyond the teen sex problem.

I think all love scenes should be eliminated.

I find nothing more boring than a fucking love scene, like a serious love scene in a movie.

I'm like, why the fuck am I watching this?

I don't care about seeing either of them naked.

I don't care that now they're so close that they're going to make love.

Like, I don't give a fuck about any of that shit.

Just like start it and then cut away.

Just cut away.

Like, every sex scene I see now, it's like, I got to have the same reaction as the one in the the room where I'm just like, oh, come on.

I don't want to watch this.

I mean, what would you say is your favorite genre of movie?

I mean, what do you like?

It would be horror.

Yeah.

Or yeah, I'd have to go with horror.

I've always liked

action movies.

I got a friend of mine.

He's really, really into horror movies.

And I started watching more and more horror movies just the last couple of months or so.

I started to get into those.

Like, I watched all the Saws.

I binge-watched all of those, and I really liked them.

So then I went back, I started watching, I watched Human Sanity, I started watching all these horror movies, which was really cool.

But I've never been one to want to watch these romantic love stories or these sex stories or anything.

It's either action or now horror.

Yeah, well, I mean, like,

rom-coms, fuck it, unless it's like a decent Nora Efron scripted one.

But other than that, like, like, rom-coms are just shit.

Who cares?

Like, that any anything that a that a female would be like oh take me to go see this i know i don't want to see it you're right i already know when you go and you go and you see them on the first date you know mary and i our first date we went and saw hope floats with uh this one was

right yeah

that was the last romantic comedy we saw you know i think after that we saw uh something about mary oh yeah that was nice yeah yeah so you know i went in i got in our good graces on the first date and then after that it was all right we're gonna watch this yeah something about mary then is like later that night was something about Mary part two as you did her hair for.

Oh, God.

How about this?

How about wasn't it?

Remember that song that came out, Mambo number five?

Yep.

And there was a line in it that said a little bit of Mary all night long.

And she used to love when that song would come out when that line would be spewed.

And I would say, oh, yeah, what?

The five minutes?

It's hardly all night long.

I get tired, you know?

I want to watch TV.

I don't know what you're doing down there.

I just know it's not for me.

One thing I noticed about this movie, too, joysticks, was the soundtrack.

There are many songs, I don't know if you noticed this, that sound like popular songs of the time.

They're not the songs, but they kind of sound like them.

Like there was a My Shirona knockoff in there.

Yes.

Did you hear that?

Every time the Vidyettes, every time the Videtts got in there.

Even the very first song, the Joy 16 song,

had a ton of sexual innuendos in it.

Oh, yeah.

You know, grab my stick.

And, you know, that was the main one that I got, was just grab my stick.

That and the word video repeated over and over and over again.

Yeah.

Video, video, video, video, games.

We got to find the soundtrack.

I wonder if there's a soundtrack for this thing.

There must be somewhere.

But so, all right, so they get their games back, and Joe Don Baker is like, look,

I am just unhappy about this still.

And

somehow King Vidiot has to do a video duel with Jefferson, the owner of the arcade, on these giant joysticks.

Yes.

With games that it's like, how much money did Grandpa have to sink into this venture?

Because this seems very

elaborate for its time.

Yeah, it's they're huge, they're like the size, like the tip of the choystick is the size of like a bowling ball.

Yeah, yeah, the tip is, yeah, and the rest is like, you know, like this seems like it'd be very difficult to even pull or play with.

But King Vidiot, who I don't know if you ever see him playing video games,

you know, he's the king, but I don't know.

No, yeah, I don't think you see him actually playing video games at any point, but they duel.

And it was like, if Jefferson wins, I guess he gets to keep his arcade open, which he was doing anyway right and if king videot wins

he gets to stay right and he gets to stay and hang out in the arcade with his friends is that what happened i think for and did jodon baker's story just trail off

yes because um i think what was supposed to happen was jodon baker hired king vidiat to

get rid of the arcade.

So when Vidiette goes into the arcade to start causing trouble or whatever, Jefferson says to him, We don't want you in the arcade anymore.

And he's like, no, I should get to stay.

And he says, all right, I'll play you for it.

You,

what is it?

You're, no, and then Jodon Baker

follows them in.

And then it was like, you're man against my man, right?

So Jefferson says, McDorfis is going to play for the arcade.

And Jodon Baker says, King Vidiat is going to play for me.

If King Vidyat wins, you close the arcade.

If McDorfus wins, the arcade stays open.

Right.

Which I don't know how any of this is even legally binding, but that's what they're going to do.

And Jefferson has no vested.

Like, why would he want to do that?

Yeah, he doesn't.

Well, first of all, he doesn't even own the arcade.

I don't know how he's closing it down if he loses anyway.

And it's like, why would you even agree to this?

There's no reason to entertain it.

You get nothing out of it.

And McDorfus, though, was kidnapped, right?

He was brought to, was it the Mrs.

Rutter's house?

Was that where he was?

Right.

She was trying to molest him.

Yeah, she was trying to molest him.

That's right.

Oh, my God.

She was very horny.

She was like Mrs.

Roper.

Yes,

yeah, she wanted that, wanted sex.

And so because McDorfis isn't there,

Jodon Baker says, well, then you have to play.

So now Jefferson has to play against Uncle Rico.

And Jefferson, this is what I thought this was my favorite part of the movie.

So Jefferson needs 15 minutes, because I need 15 minutes.

He goes into the back room, goes into the office with Eugene and starts telling Eugene the story of how, you know, he hasn't played video games since the father walked in on him and his old girlfriend.

And, you know, and Eugene is really trying to to like pump him up and then they get into this whole like rocky montage of he starts playing video games in the office he starts doing sit-ups and and and push-ups and is this like the montage throughout the arcade as well because that was like awesome trip

it was and it was like i mean he was only gone for 15 minutes dude it took him 10 minutes to tell the story yeah so i don't know how many sit-ups and push-ups he's doing and why he needs to do that to play a video game then Then all of a sudden he feels like he's ready and he goes out and now him and that king, Vidiette, are facing off against each other on a brand new Pac-Man, Super Pac-Man, I think was the name of the game.

Super Pac-Man.

Super Pac-Man, right?

And it was and it was kind of weird because Pac-Man or the company owns Pac-Man, Nabcult, I don't know how they got the licensing right for this, but like every time they changed scenes, there was a Pac-Man that would swipe to go to a different scene.

This brand new video game, which was the Super Pac-Man, was featured in this movie.

So, I mean,

I don't know how they swung that, but

the title was probably just considered, like, hey, if you showcase the new Super Pac-Man game, which we just put out, you can use this other shit.

You can use the Pac-Man wipes and all that other crap.

Well, you would think that somebody from Pac-Man would be like, but we wanted to see the script first.

Because then you would think

you would probably think they would back off and say, no, you know what?

We're good.

We'll just put it in the arcade and that's it.

We're going to let risky business use the Pac-Man logo.

So they start playing.

And King Vidiette, I think, does really, really well, right?

He's got like the high score or something, and then he dies.

And then

Jefferson is like down to his last guy.

And McDorfus ends up escaping from the wife by telling the wife that he's got even better looking friends for her.

I mean, that's how hoardy she is.

She let him go because there's a promise of other young boys that he could bring to her.

Yeah, it's the

escaped.

Right.

It's the equivalent of just like, I promise if you let me go, I won't tell anybody what happened.

Right.

Except this guy goes a step further and he's like, not only will I not tell anyone, I will lead other people here for you.

There was a serial killer.

I'll bring mothers to you.

Yeah, there was a serial killer named Dean Coral who had like two boys go out and procure other young boys for him.

He killed like 30 kids.

Really?

Yeah, it's like similar behavior.

You know, Mary just started watching that making a murder.

I told her how into it you were.

There's a couple different ones, right?

There's two, yeah.

There's the first one, then there's the second one that kind of catches you up, sort of.

Yeah.

Yeah, yeah, she's just started that, she's been enjoying that.

I'd be a horrible lawyer because the second I heard that he threw a family cat in the fire or whatever through the fire, I was like, I don't give a fuck what he did, just imprison him for life.

Yeah, did you see that?

Um, don't fuck with cats.

No, I won't watch it because I know there's a little like there's some people are like, No, you don't see anything with cats, but then I saw flashes of cats on the screen when I started to watch it, and I'm like, I just, no, I don't want to see anything at all, not even a frame, not even a subliminal fucking hint of it.

I, you know, I was like that too.

I kind of forced myself to watch it, and I was glad because it was actually really, really good.

It showed how, like, you know, just some concerned people on the internet, how they ended up tracking down this person.

And, you know, he was posting these videos, and he was

basically daring people to find him.

And they ended up

shit, man.

Oh, yeah, definitely.

So, but it was pretty good.

So, then Dorfus escapes.

Dorfus gets to the arcade, and he is ready to take over for

Jefferson.

And Eugene stops him and says,

Jefferson needs to do this for himself.

Let him work through his problem.

Let him finish the video game.

And Dorfus just kind of stays off to the side while Jefferson continues to play.

Kind of, you know, I'm getting a little bit of a lump in my throat just thinking about it.

Yeah, it was a beautiful ending.

So what ends up happening?

The Jefferson wins, right?

Gets to keep the arcade.

Not surprisingly.

And Jodon, not surprisingly, and Jodon Baker, he ends up leaving.

And they end with the grandfather.

Now, I mean, what time of night is this?

The grandfather is wheeled in by this really hot nurse.

And behind the hot nurse is this other girl.

And it turns out that this girl is Jefferson's girlfriend, Sandy.

Back for the reunion.

Back for the reunion.

Look who I found for you, my grandson.

I found the girl you tried to lose your virginity to, and it didn't work out well.

I found her for you.

So he's

so infirmed that he can't run his own arcade, but he can scout around in 1983, I might add, not with the internet or anything,

to fucking find this girl who,

you know, kind of got cucked out by her own dad.

He's like Columbo.

And you know what?

And it's another thing, too.

We talked about this before, how these movies let us down.

I have been in the hospital before.

I have never had a nurse like any nurse that they've ever portrayed in a movie.

No.

Never the short skirts, never the hot, you know.

Nari a sponge bath.

No, no, not at all.

When I got my knee done, there was a moment where, like, I'm hooked up to all these fucking catheters, all this other shit, you know.

And at some point, I'm like, oh my God, I pissed all over myself.

Like, I didn't realize it.

And I'm like, and these nurses were like

average looking at best.

And I still can't bring myself to humiliate, you know, to humiliate myself like that.

So it's like, as much as it hurt, I just like got up and reached over and got like a new set of fucking underpants but holy shit right

but yeah you wanted to try and salvage any kind of respect that you had yeah there wasn't much there but no i remember i had um i had a hernia surgery and they wheeled me into the operating room and i'll never forget and you know how just before you go under um so the nurses are all standing there and the doctor is standing there and they're kind of prepping you and getting you ready and then you know i felt like my pants were coming down, or the gown, they were lifting the gown up.

And I remember just looking at the nurse and saying to her,

it's just awfully cold in here.

And then that's all I remember.

I remember it going black, and that was it.

That's pretty funny.

Yeah, it was true.

You wake up in cuffs.

So that was joystick, the 1983 hit.

Yeah.

And you can, can, I can't remember.

It could just go to Amazon.

It'll point you in the direction, I think.

It was like Tubi or Hubi or Ubi or something like that, maybe.

It was like, because the same thing happened to me.

I was watching it.

I paused it and like the TV went off and I came back like a half hour later and it had gone to Amazon.

You had to pay.

Like right in the middle of what I'm watching.

I was like, what the fuck is this?

All right, so that is it for Frank 5 and Bryce 80 and less than 80.

And we did it by like 10 minutes, I think.

No wait.

Perfect.

No, I think we did it by like eight minutes.

Even better.

Yeah, so eight's all around.

We'll see if people like this.

We'll probably put it on Patreon if we continue to do it.

Very reasonable.

$5 a month.

Yeah, you figure, you know, you're stuck at home anyway.

There's not much that you can do.

And, you know, you'll watch one of these movies and then you listen.

you know, it's like we're watching it with them.

Yeah, exactly.

But I mean, holy shit with the the streaming services, I get if people are like, Look, I don't want to pay for one more thing.

Like, it's like, oh, you want to watch this?

Well, you're going to have to pay for Comedy Central streaming.

Oh, you want to watch that?

Well, you've got to pay for DC Universe streaming, HBO, Showtime, Netflix, this, that, BET.

Holy shit.

Like, I mean, Christ Almighty.

You know?

Yeah, there's a lot of choices out there.

But we digress.

So go to Twitter at tellhamsteve Dave and let us know what you think of this.

Unless it's negative, then go fuck yourself.