#441: Lyin’ Johnson

Give me something to clean!

Tommy to fucking kill this motherfucker!

That isn't a problem with the Russians.

That's problems with fucking idiotic morons who get their information from memes on Facebook.

I know a lot of big brains, and they're fucking annoying, and they fucking think they know it all.

And fucking nine times out of ten, I'm like, you were wrong, asshole.

Tell them, Steve Dave.

Hello, and welcome to this week's edition of Tell him Steve Dave.

I'm here with BQ.

Hello.

And with Walt.

Hello.

So

New York is saying

June 1st, now at the earliest, they're going to come back.

Oh, that came out?

I just heard that.

Is New York dragging their heels, Walt?

No.

Slowing down a nation.

Well, I think a lot of parts of the other country are opening up

this Friday and Monday, down south, I heard.

Yeah.

So

the rest of the nation is starting to

start to open the doors.

We'll see what happens.

But maybe if it goes good for them, New York will won't have to wait till June 1st.

Yeah, we're the same as some hickburg down in Mississippi with like three people in their town.

They're patriots, right?

That's what I'm hearing, that these people are patriots.

They're standing up for their rights to not wear masks during the coronavirus thing.

Do you think people are having a hard time because they're like, I just I can't believe it.

I just can't believe this is happening.

And then they're like, well, maybe it's not happening.

Like, maybe it's all bullshit, you know?

What do you mean?

Like,

we're all having a dream, you mean?

It's not happening.

No, no, no, no, it's not like a mass dream or mass hysteria.

It's like

they're telling us it's worse than it is.

And for some reason, it's like an overprotective.

Put on your glosses.

I mean, I've heard reports now that 200,000 people.

in California have it.

And if that's the case, that means the death rate is not nearly as high as they thought it was then.

That would be fantastic if that's what.

Well, it's still the same people.

The figures of people who died are still the same, which is unbelievable how many people did die from this, but

it wouldn't be as deadly as they first thought it was.

Sure,

which would be great.

I don't know, man.

I don't know.

I don't know what to say.

I think it's weird that people are protesting

guidance.

Everything so far that has come down the pike has not been accurate, which is hard to do because, I mean, it's virtually impossible to do.

I understand you can be wrong, but I think a lot of shit's going to wind up being wrong.

I hope so.

I mean, if it's wrong in the right direction, I think that's great.

But the trouble with states that are going to open up early, like let's say there's one state that's like, hey,

Pennsylvania.

We want our bars back.

I saw people carrying signs.

People love to get blotted.

Patriots, I suppose.

And so if Pennsylvania opens up, there's nothing that's going to stop people from New York or Jersey or Connecticut or the surrounding areas to go in there, and that's their spot now.

Now, I'm going to go out.

We'll go out.

We'll eat out there or we'll go drink in there, you know, especially if you're next to us.

Yeah, I mean, these are all things I'm sure that they're weighing and they realize, I mean, hey, man, they fucking know

we are like fucking sheep.

We are so predictable

as an animal.

I mean, there's nothing more predictable than a human being, I think.

This is maybe the least rebellious I've been against any kind of agency telling me what to do.

I'm like, want me to stay and watch TV?

No, did you hear the new thing?

I mean, they were wrong.

Well, I just think it's like they're dealing with the information as it comes in.

I mean, they can't.

Maybe, I guess the answer would be say nothing.

If that's the information they had at the time, like, would you rather them just say nothing in case they're wrong or go with the information they have?

Like, we have to understand that the information that's coming in is constantly going to be evolving.

Yes.

I don't think that's an opportunity to go, aha, they don't know what the fuck they're talking about.

I don't, everything is changing constantly.

Right.

And I'm just like, they don't know what the fuck is going on.

Oh, I mean, I'm sure they're struggling, but I also know that the people that are making these calls are probably big brains, right?

But get them to shake.

I know a lot of big brains.

And they're fucking annoying and they fucking think they know it all.

And fucking nine times out of ten, I'm like, you were wrong, asshole.

Okay.

I mean, I'm not wrong when I say, I'm only using

the two big brains I know as my barometer.

Self-declared brains.

You're like certified, college-educated big brains.

But they're the fucking biggest fucking know-it-alls, though.

The ones who fucking graduated college.

Oh, you better believe.

Oh my god.

Have they got something to tell you?

So you trust the people marching in the streets asking them?

I don't trust them either.

I don't trust them either.

So what are you doing?

You letting your girls out of the house?

We have gone out of the house.

Where are you going?

We have taken now, we've got this app that Frank Five gave me.

It's called Roadside America.

Okay.

And I put in our zip code.

Yeah.

And we find something that we can drive to to see.

Okay.

And then while we're there, while we see it, we look for a place to eat.

And we eat in the car

and then we drive around.

Like we saw a giant head

in a park.

What is that oh my god it was fucking far out rose ale or something like that

oh rose new jersey yeah yeah i think it was it was it was very underwhelming though this giant head just

sees a free head you could see from your car i didn't think it was going to be there and then the next spot we're going to go to is the war of the worlds memorial like where where Orson Welles did his shit.

Oh, okay.

There's like a memorial plaque

outside.

We've got to pick things that are outside.

Yeah.

We can see.

But that's what you've been doing.

So we have been getting out.

I mean, we just can't do it no more.

I'm sorry, but it sounds like the way you're doing it is the way that you're supposed to do it, it's responsible.

Yeah,

I guess, but I mean, we're really not supposed to be out on the road.

Supposedly, a cop can pull me over, and if I'm like, hey, you were just doing the roadside app, well, he could fucking fine me or put me in jail.

I mean, and technically, I'm in violation.

Yeah, I shouldn't be doing even this.

Well, well, you have to go out for food.

Wait a second.

Also, like, but I mean, I see tons of people out there on the road.

Yeah, there are

essential.

I saw a car wash.

I can't go to fucking work and sell comics, but these fucking idiots can fucking wipe down a car.

There was a car wash?

Yeah, Woodbridge.

Really?

Because I saw two car washes passing here, and neither one was open.

Woodbridge car wash open, huh?

They all had masks on, though, right?

They had masks on.

But how is that essential?

How is that essential?

I'm not going to give that now the name of the car wash because I'm not trying to be a tattletale.

Right, you're not going to dial 311.

I understand that they're looking for rats up in New York.

They've got enough rats in New York.

They need some more.

It's a fucking blasio, man.

He's something special.

Will they suppress

this, like the JFK or

all the big things?

And like, will they suppress information or will everything you think come out?

Like the aliens?

I think everything will come out eventually, but I don't think anybody will care by that point.

About this?

I don't think anybody's going to give a fucking trillion dollar loss to the economy.

They might care about that.

They won't care about conspiracy theories.

What you've just said is exactly the issue.

They're going to be worried about making money and feeding their families.

Nobody's going to have time for like, well, what fucking...

Well, they have to study it so they don't fucking make the same mistakes as if they made mistakes.

Who's that?

The government.

Oh, well, that's different.

The government's different, yeah.

They have to figure it out so if in case it happens again, they could be like, even if we did right, this is what we did wrong.

But even if they figure it out, you couldn't trust them anyway, according to what you're saying.

Or they're if it's if I was you, I wouldn't pay taxes because what the fuck are you paying taxes for if you don't have any faith in your government?

They told us it was a fucking remember that little armadillo?

That fucking

armadillo.

They blamed it on this fucking cute little fucking

dinosaur little armadillo.

Did they really?

And now it's turning out it wasn't their little armadillo.

There's misinformation being fed to us left and right.

Now they're saying that the hot rumor is it got out of a lab in Wuhan.

Now this is what I want to ask you guys.

I'm not sure if this person who exposed everybody, who worked at the lab and it got out, is still alive.

I think they may be still alive, but it was somebody who was not married.

I believe it was a female.

But that could be wrong because I've also heard it was a male, but they infected their boyfriend or girlfriend.

They went to that wet market.

They went all over the place.

If you're that person who's responsible for all these deaths, all this fucking destroyed lives and the economies of the world,

how do you

cope with that?

How do you do that?

Do you just say, well, it wasn't me, it was the facility.

Do you try to fucking

bed at night going like, well, if the fucking lab was a fucking, was on top of things, I wouldn't have gotten infected.

Or do you fucking carry the weight of that?

Maybe you got to carry the weight a little bit, man.

I might be like, I might take the my bad clause, just be like, oh, my bad guys, I didn't know, and move on with my life if it was me.

But yeah, I mean, it's got a way of thinking for a second, just what that would feel like.

I was the one that got it out of the lab.

Think about the people who like, they're smoking and they carelessly throw away a butt and then burn down like 60,000 acres.

Yeah.

That guy is like, I'm glad I'm not hurt.

Well, they do a gender reveal party and burn like 40 acres and shit.

What do you do?

What's the first thing you do?

Do you go back?

Do you find a new line of work?

Do you still work in fucking germs?

Because you're fucking not qualified, asshole.

Who's ever going to hire you again to ever fucking walk into a lab ever again?

Oh, this is a lab person, not a wet market person.

It was a lab person.

That's the new rumor.

They trace it.

You think, according to this rumor, they trace it to this one person.

Yes.

Wow.

That they're able to trace it to one person.

Well, I guess I would be like, well, look, man, I was just at work.

Like, I didn't do anything wrong at work.

I caught it at work through.

It depends.

Did she open a jar and be like, what's this?

And smell it?

And

they were doing it like research on bats.

Now, again, this is just what I've heard.

I've heard this on CNN.

I saw it on fucking on the internet.

Yeah.

So, but now China's coming out and saying that no, no, no, that's not true.

That didn't happen.

You can't believe a fucking thing Chinese word.

No, not words

from the Chinese.

Okay, but why is it so easy for you to say that?

But you're still, but you've like when I say I can't believe what our government is saying.

Well, because our government isn't based on

lies and like, I mean, it's a communist regime, man.

I think this

country is based on lies, but I think that they're a little bit slicker about it, where China's like, you don't like our lies?

How about you go to prison for for life?

That's a difference.

I mean, we can vote people out every four years.

Like China, they got a boot on their neck their whole lives.

So it's like...

I mean, can we vote people out?

Sure, of course we can.

Can we really?

Of course.

Everything is thrown into question when

all these fucking rumors.

No, we have an electoral college, and that's the way the fucking, that it went.

And that went by law and by rules.

Right.

But what

influenced by bots and by all interference.

But that's just people being like this whole thing, where they say like Russians interfere with the election by going on Facebook and buying ads.

I'm like, do some fucking research, assholes.

Don't just believe ads you see on fucking Facebook.

I don't, that's where I'm just like, fuck you guys.

Just because somebody's a fucking moron and just like, well, this must be true.

I read it on Facebook.

I'm going, doesn't fucking.

That isn't a problem with the Russians.

That's problems with fucking idiotic morons who get their information from memes on Facebook.

Like,

it's one of those things that I just get fucking frustrated about.

Don't fucking blame the Russians.

The Russians are going to do what the Russians do.

They're evil scumbags.

Okay?

It's like, blame the Americans.

It's like, well, this must be the way it is.

I read it on Facebook.

Like, pull your fucking head out of it.

Get off Facebook.

No, look, go to Facebook and read the comments that people make.

I've never seen more illiterate motherfuckers in my life.

No one can spell.

No one has any idea of how a sentence is supposed to fall together.

It's very liberal the way they position their words.

Do you think they'll ever name the tech who fucking got out of the lab?

No way.

Although they may.

China may.

In this country, they wouldn't.

In China, they might be like, hey.

Well, China then would have to walk back.

They're saying it didn't happen.

They wouldn't be able to do that.

Yeah, they're not going to.

Anybody who's like a loose,

anybody who's a loose threat, you're going to see, they're going to disappear.

If they haven't already.

If they haven't already.

I'm reading here, and this was as recently as two weeks ago.

They were saying that that it was a 57-year-old female shrimp seller that they thought was

could have been patient zero.

Shrimp, what's that supposed to mean?

So, de Blasio, his 311 line, it seems like it's not working that well because he's getting a lot of pictures of middle fingers and dicks.

A lot of dick pics getting sent.

I don't know if that's technically snitching.

I haven't met anybody that likes to blasio.

No,

he's really

can't you trace back who sent that?

You're wasting the government's time.

Can't you trace back who sent that and fucking make them an example?

I think there's hundreds, if not thousands.

So it's like to, I mean, you would have to make someone sort of a

example.

Yeah, and make an example of them.

And they'd be like, all right, you send in a dick pic.

This is what you're going to get.

And he gives them a stern talk and joy.

No, no, no.

Because you can't even do shit.

Like I see videos of the cops all the time.

They're like, hey, you have to wear a mask.

They're like, fuck you.

And there's nothing the cops can do.

He's like, I could fine you $1,000.

They're like, then go ahead.

And then they don't do it.

Oh, I haven't seen that.

Yeah.

Because people are playing in the park and shit.

I tell you what,

I don't mind the masks, though, because

when I got my hoodie on and my mask on,

I mean, there's only like an inch of my face that people can see.

I look like fucking Brad Pitt.

Oh, I thought you meant all that comedy.

It's a great equalizer.

Oh, that's why Mary Beth asked me to wear that mask

with Rad Pitt's face on it.

Yeah, it's weird.

Sometimes you'll see people walking around and they have their mask kind of like half-assed applied, like it's beneath their nose, but over their mouth.

It's like, you know, that's half the battle, right?

Oh, yeah, I'll go into the store, I go into the local grocery store, and I see the clerk wearing it like that.

And I don't care because I'm not really all that concerned about it.

But I'm like, what's the point?

Why are you even wearing this if you're not going to wear it properly?

Right.

Everybody can see it.

Like, if you're just doing it for show, go fuck yourself.

This is another thing, and this is very serious, Walt.

Can the coronavirus be spread through farts?

They're asking.

You could fart in your own face and catch corona.

Oh, yeah, you're right.

Oh, man.

Can you imagine?

You're like, just got over this stuff.

I should have wore it.

The brown virus.

I'm trying to see this New York City thing that's saying it's closed till June.

I mean, that doesn't surprise me at all because

there's no way to me that it wasn't till June anyway.

But

I don't see anything about that.

Where'd you see it?

No, I heard it on, I think it was Winds, the 10-10 radio.

Yeah.

Anyone saying it couldn't get much worse?

Didn't count on a tornado warning for NYC.

God, the Post really loves to fucking beat the negative drum thing.

Yeah.

Yeah, I guess so.

I don't know.

Wow.

You gotta wonder, man.

Is this just, is God mad at us?

Probably.

I would be.

Yeah.

Fuck it.

Really?

So you think that it's God coming to punish us?

I spoke to Father Lance.

He says no.

I did a little interview with Father Lance recently, and he's

leans towards

not believing that stuff.

He's a stupid Chinese motherfucker.

Yeah, he's like, it's probably some Chinese, you know, one of these guys.

You know, he's at a wet market.

Yeah, the little dinosaur, really, did people hunt them down and kill him then?

Like, he took a dinosaur.

Well, they were public enemy number one.

They were like, they were, you know,

they were probably like, if someone saw one, they would fucking just step on it.

Yeah, like a coyote kills like a sheep, and then ranchers want to kill like 500,000 coyotes because one.

This poor little ugly motherfucker was the...

What type of animal was it?

It was like

it was like a...

We showed it to you.

It was really ugly looking.

It was like grotesque.

The pengolin?

Yes, that's it.

I think they're cute.

Pengolin?

Yeah, but they were the scapegoat for this for a little while.

China was trying anything.

Oh, it's him.

It's like that guy.

Well, how did he do it?

Oh, we ate him.

Like,

you ate him, man.

I wonder if there's.

I can't even look at a picture of a wet market.

What's his name?

Tom.

Tom, the TSD writer, turned me on to.

Milazowski.

Wazowski's name is Milo.

Milowski.

Yeah.

He's a big brain.

He's of Polish stock.

I don't know.

But he's maybe

the smartest guy that I know right now.

Oh, yeah?

Yeah.

He's taken

the top.

That's good to hear.

Well, you're still up there.

Okay.

You're in the top three.

Why?

Because you went to college.

I thought they were the stupidest motherfuckers around.

And I hope I begin them at this point.

That number can't mean that much anymore.

It's when you come in and you do things.

That's when I think that

you're number two.

Right.

Then I see you fumble with the fucking board.

Oh, what I should talk about.

We are on video.

I see you fumble with it.

I don't understand this.

And then you go, and then you still like, it's just, I can't help it.

It's like it's a it's a mental thing.

It's not like I'm actively trying to like

put you down lower, but it's just like it just

where I belong.

He's just calling it like you see it.

Yeah.

Subconscious.

It's out of of your hands.

It's out of my hands.

What am I supposed to do about it?

You are who you are.

So big brain Tom

turned me on to gutter oil is oil which has been recycled from waste oil collected from fryers and all this other shit.

Some of it uses animal parts, animal fat, and animal skins.

And

one in every 10 lower market restaurant meals consumed in China is prepared with that recycled oil.

So all that shit, all that like crap that like in The Simpsons when Homer was stealing all the rendered oil and fat and all that shit, that's what I guess they're using to cook.

10% cook in stuff that is not fit for human consumption.

I think though, if it turns out that that was true about the lab technician who

let this get out,

the world owes an apology to the Chinese people for the way we condemn their eating habits.

I disagree.

I think it's still disgusting, regardless of who let it out.

But it did cause a pandemic, though.

It's disgusting, and it's fucking grotesque.

And we're not even sure.

China's like, oh, wait, it wasn't a penguin.

It was her.

It's like, so it was a tiny animal?

No, no.

It was a fat lady?

No, China is denying it was a technician.

But

there's

strong belief that it was an accident.

They were studying bats in there.

There's no bats being sold in this anywhere near the wet market that supposedly it it came from.

So they're just putting two and two together here.

And they don't think it was obviously not done on purpose.

They wouldn't infect their own people.

Oh, no.

There was some protests.

Remember all those protests with the NBA players not fucking stepping up and supporting the Chinese?

Yeah, yeah.

I wonder, too.

I'm like, well, that fuck, all that went.

Because they went over to play basketball, right?

Yeah.

And then people are like, look at the human rights

violations.

And they're like, look at the checks we get from endorsements and going to China to play.

Yeah, I couldn't help but notice none of them did any kneeling while they were there.

They just played the game.

It seems like

nobody kneeled.

And if that Chinese anthem played, I didn't see the game, but if it did, I guarantee none of them are.

Because, you know, they're better than America.

China.

What are you going to do?

You know, it's interesting to me, off the corona thing for a second, but Joe Biden securing the nomination and the sexual assault allegations coming out against him.

Now, these were, I don't know much about this, but I'm assuming these were in the 70s.

I don't know.

In his 70s, 90s, 70s.

Yeah, I mean, it was a while ago.

I was going to say, because it had to be a time when he was like on the move.

I can't imagine he was making any sexual advancements at that age.

He's at now.

I guess not, but does it really matter when he's not going to be able to do that?

No, no, no.

But I'm just saying no, but like, I get, but I think time has going to cause a problem of trying to investigate this.

I was assuming it was decades ago.

But what's to investigate?

You just bleed.

What do you mean, if?

Oh, my God.

Whoa.

Holy shit.

Look at this fucking motherfucker.

Take that woku thing away from him.

He's got a lot of starts or social distancing and professional distances.

I have no idea

who's going to get put up for the Democratic nomination this year because we can't support Biden.

I believe.

Okay, so he did it roughly 26 years ago.

Okay.

He was still a fucking.

Yeah, and how old is he now?

He's like 70, right?

He's really old.

How could any

of the people people that came out against Kavanaugh

and getting elected to the Supreme Court even dare to show their face for Biden for this?

How?

Because he still, in their eyes, is going to be

better than

what's in their narrative.

Absolutely, 100%.

That's how they justify it.

Yeah, I don't think that's true.

I mean, at least

Trump's fucked up.

There's no doubt.

But Biden is, he's incomprehensible.

You're like, I don't know what he's saying.

I don't think he knows what he's saying.

There's so many sound bites where you're like, holy shit, this is what my grandfather sounded like at the end.

So Biden was a relatively

young man, only like 51, 52.

Well, oh, really?

That's right.

There's still a chance for us to watch

an unwanted advancement.

Why not?

Good enough for the President of the United States, Joe Biden.

Oh, my God.

I just, I can't,

what a, what a pickle to be one of the people that was so,

so, like hanging every fucking thing on that me too.

And then,

because you know

how fucking,

like I said, as a species,

there is no fucking perfect fucking candidate.

You're, I mean, you're going to fucking, the skeletons are in every politician's closet.

Agreed, but, but, but it's bad timing to have that be the main focus of the past couple of years and just firing brimstone about it and fucking pulling jobs and firing people and getting people out of fucking shit and you're not welcome here anymore.

And then, like, oh, vote for Biden.

It's just,

how the fuck is anybody supposed to fucking listen to anybody else anymore?

It's just fucking, it's, it's, it's,

why is anybody listening to any other human beings aside from their friends and loved ones?

I don't get it anymore.

It's just hypocrisy everywhere, man.

Yeah, you, you can't, I personally do not believe anything I read.

Like if Walt's telling me something, like, hey, here's what I, you know, I went out to Roselle Park.

It's like, yeah, sure, I believe that.

He has no reason to lie.

But like, anybody who has any kind of vested interest

in me thinking a certain thing, I just don't trust him.

Right.

Any government official, because it's like, you know, every single fucking time.

Justin Trudeau, the most woke cocksucker on earth, who's always in other people's faces being like, say, people kind, not mankind.

It's like, all all right well how about now there's three or four pictures of you in blackface but that was a different time and you were young and you apologize and then it's okay and i'm like i don't understand he wants to put people in re-education camps for this shit it's fucking crazy it's okay but you got it but you just grew out of it oh my god you grew out of it somehow these people didn't it's crazy unless they're still in blackface then i guess they may and that doesn't mean like you're arguing for the fucking return of blackface or you're like everybody should be i just want what are the rules can we have the rules put the rules out I'm totally cool with no blackface.

I think that's a good rule.

But if everybody's doing that rule, can the fucking president of Canada or the Prime Minister of Canada like follow the same fucking rule?

The rules are loosey-goosey.

Sure.

That's the rules.

They don't apply to everybody.

Yeah, loosey-goosey.

That's what I'm saying.

There was a great quote, and I forget who said it, where

if you don't read the news at all, you're uninformed.

But if you follow the news and you read the news, you're misinformed.

So what would you rather be

uninformed or misinformed?

No, no, I read that years ago somewhere.

I should have took a yeah, I did.

That was me.

Deckling cut that shit out.

Yeah, like you're you either want to be misinformed or uninformed, and I guess, like, I don't know what the choice is there.

For me, it's uninformed, definitely.

Oh, man, I got on that train about five years ago.

I never got off.

Yeah, I jumped on.

You were like, hey, it's still pulling out of the station.

I was like, all right, come on, buddy.

I so rarely, I mean, New York Post.

Oh, boy.

I don't know why you guys even thought this was going to happen.

Anyway, we're six feet apart.

Fuck you.

Oh, the post.

Yeah, no, I was just going to say about the post, yeah, that

every single day, it's nothing but corona.

Like, that's nothing but that.

And then things relative to Corona, like, hey, look at these Instagram celebrities or influencers who did this during the, you know, that kind of shit, page six stuff.

But other than that, I'm like, it doesn't seem like there's real news.

I've been getting into stocks lately, though.

What do you mean?

Like, I went on Robin Hood, remember our former, so I went on there and I put some money in there and I like when it bottomed out, I went to some stuff.

I bought Lyft.

I bought Bank of America.

I bought JetBlue.

That hasn't been kind.

JetBlue's just plummeting, huh?

Yeah, they're at like eight something now.

I think I bought it at like 10.

But again, it's like, I don't think JetBlue's going anywhere.

Like, these are companies like, I'm not like, ooh, I'll make money tomorrow.

But I am up so far.

So

it's fun, too.

In little amounts, it's fun to do shit like that.

Yeah, it's funny when you lose like 50 grand in a shot at some point.

It's a little investor.

I'm like, fuck, what?

And that's the thing.

It's like something could happen tomorrow where a stock that's so promising today, but these news comes out and it's like, oh, no.

Just like anybody, anybody who just invested in cruise lines or Disney or, I mean, pretty much anything

Like,

I think Gigi told me he invested some money for his 401k or something.

He's like, I can't even look at it.

Yeah, I can't even look at it.

But he's like 30-something years old.

Like, same with you.

Like, you're pretty young.

Like,

that money will have time to grow.

Yeah.

Well, that's what I was talking to Mosier about.

He was like, he's like,

Mosier's been, he says he's been through three of these stock plummets.

He goes,

it's worrying about the people who only have another 15 years to live that were counting on retiring or shit like that.

That are like, oh, fuck, I don't have the time to.

Yeah, Pam and Edgar, they have all their, you know, they have like that thing that pays out like a monthly thing.

So I guess it goes down.

You know?

Oh, that sucks.

Probably buy their foreclosed house.

But Walt, it's it's interesting that you should ask because, yes, we do have a spot.

We still need to make a couple bucks here.

Hey, we got to eat, right?

Me undies.

Meundies.

Hey, it's officially spring, but check this out.

Look at this, Q.

All right.

Christmas print.

You're getting meundies, huh?

Must be nice.

Yeah, I got my meu.

You're still not getting yours?

If you're not getting them yet, then that's probably your fault.

I'm not getting them.

It's officially spring, which means it's officially spring cleaning time.

I spring-cleaned my whole house the other day.

Did you?

I was super pissed and was like, boom, and like went through it like a madman.

Like, I'm not even kidding.

Like, 14 straight hours.

I was so irritated.

It took 14 hours to clean it?

I'm talking clean, clean, not like vacuum and pickup clutter, like every square inch and carpet cleaning and like all that kind of shit.

Oh, yeah.

Now it can't be.

It's fueled by alcohol and rage.

Can Mary Beth like kind of like drop a crumb?

No, but can she not

partake in the cleaning and just like go about her thing?

Or does she feel like, does she feel that like that unease that like, well, I guess I have to to clean as well because he's cleaning.

Well, she doesn't.

I haven't done my job.

That house is supposed to be total unease at all times.

There's just something wrong.

Is she aware or

like I would want, I would be aware that, like, oh, fuck, he's cleaning.

So now I got to fucking clean.

And I don't feel like cleaning.

But if he's doing it, I guess I got to do it.

No, because then I could very easily turn around and be like, what, you think I can't clean well enough?

You got to fucking help me.

Like, she doesn't know which way.

So she'll just go upstairs.

And it's like, if I'm like, hey, can you help me clean?

But I don't want that.

In that moment, I don't want any help.

But I'm not mad at her.

No, I know.

But I'm just like, let me just get this out.

Plus, you know.

So since when did cleaning replace just like destroying?

Oh, since all my medication and stuff, I think.

Oh, okay.

Yeah.

Started

remotes.

That's a great switch there.

Now you got nice, clean shit rather than destroyed shit.

Right, yeah.

I don't have to go buy more stuff and put it in a dirty house.

How is it feeling?

How do you feel the medication is doing?

You feeling an effect?

Or too early?

No, I wouldn't say it's too early.

I think there are certain moments where I'm like, previously, this would have made me flip out.

Okay.

And I just didn't.

And I'm talking about stuff that's so meaningless.

Yeah.

But like

one morning, I was just like, I'll get up and I'm already coiled.

And the, and like, we have one of those countertop dishwashers.

You ever see them?

It's not like a dish.

It's not like a full-size dishwasher.

It's like one that you put on the counter.

Okay.

There just wasn't enough room in there.

And I I want one where they have to fucking roll around and hook up to

things.

So,

I'm doing dishes in the morning, and I have this robe, but it's not like a terry robe.

So, if water goes down the sleeve, it doesn't absorb it.

It kind of like

balls a pillow.

Like, what is what it's pools?

It's down like a down?

Yeah, yeah, it's like it pools up, yeah, like in these little droplets, and now it's like all cold on my wrist, and I'm so annoyed because I know I can't just dry it, it's going to be wet now, and it's cold outside.

And so, I just take the dishwasher and clear it off the the counter and the dishes smash and go everywhere.

And it's

post-new medication.

No, this is before.

Oh, okay, okay.

Yeah, this is this is before.

That medication may not be working.

No, yeah.

He's like, that's the best we got.

No, but it happened again the other day, and I was just like, shit, and I was like, just dried it off, and I didn't think much of it.

And then I was like, oh, wait.

Like it occurred to me.

Yeah, it actually occurred to me.

Yeah, I'm like, oh, so I was fucked up.

You weren't wrong.

Everybody wasn't wrong.

Yeah, everybody wasn't wrong about me.

Let me ask about your cleaning thing because this is a hypothetical that had floated recently.

If you

cleaned the house,

but you cleaned it so well, like it was undeniable.

Like your wife, your girlfriend was like, fuck, man, I wish the house was this clean all the time.

Like deep clean, painting like the divots in the walls, everything.

But you wore a French maid's outfit.

Like you just had a fetish where you were like, Yeah, you were like, I want to have to wear it.

Okay, no, you want to wear it.

You wear it just for your own.

Well, right.

What is

the reaction at home?

Like, is it like, fuck, I don't want to see my husband dress like a French maid?

Is it a French butler?

No, it's something about like a female.

Yeah, it has to be the big frilly dress with the feather duster.

And what do they call it French butler?

I don't know.

It's just a butler, I guess.

I don't know.

But that was it.

But the house was super clean.

But this weird fetish was you wanted to dress like

a maid.

What is the reaction in your homes?

Oh, you're asking me to?

Yeah.

Well, I guess there's no.

It would not be well received.

No.

No.

She doesn't like to see you emasculated.

Nope.

And kind of female

feminized?

No.

No.

Oh, she likes you fucking rough and tough, huh?

She likes a man.

She'll take a dirty house if there's a little edge to her, man.

If the man is dirty, she'll take the house dirty.

So she's going to start replacing your medications with Tic Tacs?

Yeah.

That's true.

Get that manhood back that she wants.

She's tired of the old wife.

I think he's saying he equates you cleaning with being a fucking bitch.

He's not the only one.

Trust me.

Let me read between the lines, I'd love to learn.

Well, she wants wealthy.

That's what I'm saying.

That explains the reflection I saw in the mirror.

I was like, huh, French maid.

No, really?

Oh, so don't want to clean it?

No, you know what?

He is.

He is all men, because I lived in an apartment with this guy.

He never cleansed.

He's a fucking slob.

Total slot.

Right, I'm going to make some pasta and pesto.

You want some?

Yeah, sure.

Two days later, dish is still there.

I'm like, fuck it, I guess I'll clean them.

I mean, I was just fucking dealing with Suzanne in the apartment all the time, so what the fuck do

I do?

I'll take the dishes of the fucking sink rather than the fourth fight of the day.

All right, all right, come on, be on these guys.

He's going off off the rails.

You guys are going to be pissed off at each other in a second.

No, he's totally right.

I should have cleaned the house like a madman in a French-made outfit for him.

Okay, so it's spring cleaning time.

Yes, that's the thing.

And if you're not doing it, you should, especially with your underwear drawer and your relationship with toxic old, tattered undies, and move on to a membership with the softest undies ever to grace your balls and nethers and all that.

So basically, they want you to have a big, fresh new start for spring.

Do you ever just replace everything?

You ever just

did it with my t-shirts last summer.

Oh, yeah?

Yeah.

Went out and brought six new t-shirts.

I'm thinking of doing it with my family.

Yeah, I do that.

Because I just mainly wear black t-shirts all the time.

So I'll just throw them all out and just get a new

usually when the wardrobe budget comes in for the show, I'll be like, all right, let's order some fucking new t-shirts.

I like that.

Yeah.

Man, I make the fucking man pay for it yeah you're gonna be shirtless man if the shit doesn't let up

run around topless oh you'll see me shucking and jiving someway don't we yeah you're on cameo hey no I won't do cameo but I will let's finish the all right yeah yeah why would you need an undie membership it's an easy way to give your future self a present each month It's great getting them each month, right, Walt?

Yeah, I enjoy it.

I wish I knew.

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They're made with micro-model or modal.

I don't know if I'll ever know the correct pronunciation.

It's a sustainable soft fabric made from trees.

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Come on, man.

They're offered in a range of sizes from extra small to 4XL, and they have a great offer for listeners.

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so that's it there's only one spot this week i wonder if they're uh panicking just like everybody else

budgets alone

And I mean, just sponsors in general.

Yeah, they're like, they're going to have to start becoming more selective.

Yeah.

Only the fucking top pods get ads.

Yeah.

Have you guys.

Well, I know Brian has, but have you watched at all that new Harley Quinn show on the DC, the animated?

No, I didn't even know there was one.

It started its second season.

It is so.

You would like it.

Where is it?

It's on DC Universe, like that DC app

that they got the Titan show and and do.

I'm not a fan of Harley Quinn as a character, as a person, as Kevin's daughter.

I think she's great, but like as a character, I've always been like,

I get it.

Like, you're wacky, and nowadays it's all like, I don't need the Joker, look at me, and I'm just like, I got it.

I got it.

I got all of it.

But this,

the show is so fucking good.

It's an adult animated series.

So

she teams up with other villains to be like a crime lord, but she teams up up with Dr.

Psycho, who

it's a Wonder Woman villain from the 30s.

And he's caught on TV calling Wonder Woman a cunt, and even the Injustice League won't have anything to do with them.

He gets Me Too'd out of villainy.

So he joins her crew.

Clayface is in it, and they play Clayface like an old Broadway actor, like

almost like a Muppet.

It's weird, like over the top, but it's this ultra violent dude.

And like, and like, it's really well done.

It is really fucking well done.

I would highly recommend that to anybody who is looking for someone to watch.

It's so good.

The second season just started.

It's phenomenal.

Phenomenal.

Phenomenal, you say.

Phenomenal, dude.

You've only steered me wrong once, so I'm going to take that near-perfect track record and run with it.

I think you'll like it.

It gets pretty dark, man.

Yeah.

Yeah, it gets pretty dark.

Have you been reading a lot?

Like, what are you doing differently now that maybe you wouldn't have done before when you didn't have so much time?

Aside from lamenting.

Not reading.

No?

No, I've been actually drawing like crazy.

Yeah.

That's pretty good.

Like mad, like obsessive, like constant lore.

Like it's like it's

never in my life

have I put out as much,

I don't know what you call it, like this kind of production rate because I'm doing it constantly.

You haven't been so prolific in the past.

Yes, yeah.

And we're like and we're like when we're doing the office rewatch, we're up to season seven now, I think.

Wow.

Yeah, that's how much we've been watching.

And while it's on, I'm just drawing.

Yeah.

Yeah.

So they're watching and I'm drawing.

I'm drawing until four o'clock in the morning every

now.

Are the girls crying because there's a nun being shut out or baby alert?

They don't even look.

They don't even look at what I'm doing.

And it's nothing like that anyway.

Like, is it a project or something?

I'll tell you about it over time.

Top secret.

All right.

But yeah, I mean, otherwise, though, it's just, it's just

days just fucking morph into the other.

It's bizarre.

Dude, I'm sitting here because I didn't know that you were here, and I'm sitting outside, and I'm like, what day is it?

I have the right day.

I'm almost positive it's Tuesday.

But you can't be totally sure.

Sometimes I fear for Q more than myself.

Me?

Yeah.

Because

recently you haven't been answering texts.

I'm fucking, I'm not, I'm not, I think I'm just coming out of it now.

Yeah.

But the last two weeks have been

a funk.

Beyond funk.

I was just like

worried constantly.

Constantly.

Natural, man.

Not even about myself, like worried about people I don't know, which is weird for me.

But I've just been like...

That's unusual.

I'm just like, hey, you don't know.

You just pick a random person.

Like, you look out your window and you're like, I'm worried about that person.

I assure you, Walt, everybody in my neighborhood is fine.

We're fine.

No,

just like, just my, like, just people, like, I can't imagine, like, because I'm worried about

work and income and future.

And it's just like, and I'm in a better situation than a lot of people I know.

And I'm just like, what's it like for people who just like

just fucking live in paycheck to paycheck and now there's no paycheck for three months?

I get worried.

I worry about them.

I'm just like, that's fucking such a shitty situation.

The anxiety was almost immediate for me.

It was like day one.

And like, I

want to say that I

like, I'm surprised.

I'm surprised everybody wasn't on day one, like, completely just fucking in shell shock and just immobilized by anxiety.

But it took

almost 10 days and then it just went away.

And then there's now there's no now it's just like, well, whatever will be, will be.

And

I'll figure it out.

The coldness seeps in.

Yeah, I'm just like, I'll figure it out.

I mean,

I'll, you know, I'll do what I got to do.

Really?

So, so there was like almost a

like a pep talk to yourself.

Like, don't be afraid, Walt.

No, it wasn't like I needed a pep talk.

It was just I woke up one morning and I was just like, well, fuck it.

Yeah, I was like, I didn't go clean.

I didn't, I just was like, I'm done.

I'm like, I'm done worrying about it.

I'm just going to just let it go where it goes.

And

like a surfer, I'll ride it out.

Nice hang 10, dude.

Cowbanga.

Yeah, whatever I was cleaning about was guaranteed to be far less significant than this corona shit, obviously.

At the Corona, I was surprised you didn't clean.

This was like nothing, whatever it was.

I don't even remember what I was mad at when I cleaned all of that.

Oh, yeah.

So, so yeah, it's

like, I was going to say, do you think, Q, that like when things like this happen, like, little things may have

annoyed you or brought you to uh a point of um frustration don't rise to that level now because there's so much bigger things?

No, I don't think so.

I think they'll still rise to the level that I'll get it.

But you know what I get?

I get updates from the guys in the firehouse and and my firehouse got hit really hard with it, so I worry about those.

It's just like this constant stream of like bad news.

Yeah, although I I don't know.

I I think it's turning around.

I think it's turning around.

It's weird because, like, one day I'll wake up and the second I open my eyes, I'll be like, this is going to be a shitty day.

I just know it.

I already wake up with the feeling in my chest and whatnot.

And then other days I wake up and I'm like, ooh, this is great.

Like, what are we doing today?

You know what I mean?

It's just weird, these weird swings that I.

What was that yesterday?

Yes.

Today's better.

Today's good.

But I think it's starting to level out.

I haven't been writing it all or creating it all, which is.

I noticed.

These are the texts he's not answering.

Oh, really?

Oh, you guys are trying to do something?

He's trying for sure.

I've contacted him a few times, but I know that if he's not answering me, there's something there.

And I know if it gets bad enough, he'll call me and

we'll talk about it.

So, like, I don't want to push anybody.

I wouldn't want to push him into something that's not.

No, I got to.

I got to get my ass in gear.

And now that actually, in a way, like, now.

It would be, I'm sorry.

I don't finish that.

I just, I mean, like, I mean, it's just crazy, like, for you to be like, I don't want to push anybody.

Could you imagine a Brian Johnson, Brian Johnson pushing?

Because there was a time where, like, I mean, oh, my God, we had such fucking, oh, my God, big-time brawls.

Don't you do it this oak man?

I wanted to fucking crush your skull.

I was at my house, and I'll be like, give me something to clean.

Tell me to fucking kill this motherfucker who's costing me a chance to fucking draw a book that I want to do.

Don't want the word drugs.

Do you not understand?

That's the other thing with, like, I'll tell you later on about these diagnosis and stuff.

And it's like,

it's right in that pocket.

And I'm not saying, like, hey, it's not my fault because I really should have tried to look into getting diagnosed earlier or whatever.

But it's like,

you're right.

Like, I look, trust me.

The more I reflect on things, I feel like the more apologies I'll be issuing.

I'm not from here to here.

Well, apology could come in a form of not doing the same shit again.

Yeah, I mean, it's

if you guys think that, like, I don't consider that, like, what it must have been like at times, and sometimes I'm like, to be a fly on the wall at Walt's house once I did something and he's telling Deb about it, and by telling, I mean screaming like that.

Poor bastard.

Because I wouldn't want to deal with me.

I let that go.

As soon as we were done with that,

I don't ever rethink about it.

I just brought up the memory, though,

when you were saying, I don't want to

push anybody or put pressure on anybody.

And I was just like, ooh, because I put a lot of pressure

You had to

with no choice.

Oh my god, he did everything there was there was a there was the most like fucking brutal call made in the store where customers were hearing me like yelling at him like on the phone and He was like he was it was so crazy where he was going like because I was I was mad at him because he lied to me because he said he was going to Send it to me in the morning and it was six o'clock at night and he hadn't sent it and I accused him of lying to me and he goes what so you never been lied to

I was demented.

I was demented.

I've lost it.

I lost it.

Grow up on the fire.

Oh, Dale.

Oh, I'm sorry.

You've never been lied.

I'm sorry, Pollyanna.

I wish I lived in your world.

Oh, it's disgraceful.

Beside myself.

And then he would call me angry.

Maybe not in this specific, but Walt would call me angry.

And I'd be in the situation of defending you and defusing it.

I mean, how do you even try to defend that?

I did.

Hey, did I ever fucking

every time stepping up?

You just got to give him some space.

Yeah,

I think I'm coming out of it, though.

I had a long talk with Mosier today, which usually helps me get out of things.

I was avoiding even Mosher for a week because I just,

I was like, I understand it.

I can't, I, I, I, I, I won't absorb any, any, anything, and he's my friend, and and I want to just bullshit with him, but I can't.

But it's coming out.

There's a lot of uncertainty.

We don't know what's going on, man.

It's totally understandable, and it's normal, though.

It should cause a level of reflection and

unease because it's fucking never happened before, and

no one knows where it's going to go.

It's crazy.

It is.

What's crazy is

that this was never the option that was offered as like, well, this is what we'll do if this happens.

You know, like no one, like,

I saw nothing.

It was just like, overnight, this is what we're going to do.

This was the response.

Although

if I had saw what was going on, like, I saw what was going on in Italy, I saw their response.

I guess I should have realized that.

They're like, get the fuck in the house.

I guess I should have realized, well, I guess they're going to do that here.

But I was just like, well, no one will really listen to that here.

But they did.

They said like 90% of of people listened to it is there uh is there something to be said for some of these other countries where like i saw in india there's like some guy walking around no mask and these cops pop out of somewhere and they just start wailing on them with sticks and they throw them into a fucking petty wagon and they're like boom you're gone now asshole

no if well the response if you knew for a fact like like the facts were out there was no more misinformation that the only thing that could end this as quick as possible was staying indoors and wearing masks when you're out like they knew it.

Yeah, they proved it beyond a shadow of a doubt.

Then does that motherfucker walking down the street with no mask on

deserve jail time?

Well, maybe not beating, but deserve jail time.

He does, right?

Yeah, he does.

Yeah, he does.

And the cop gives him a shot in the ribs while he's throwing him in the car.

Hey, you know,

what are you going to do?

Yeah.

If you're going to rough house like that, somebody's not going to hurt.

What are you going to do?

Shit happens.

Oh, man.

It's weird because there are days where I feel like I'm fucking like everything's like

I'm making it sound more dramatic than it is.

Like it's it's within normal parameters.

Like there haven't been days where I've woken up and been like, what's happening?

Just fucking like staring out the window and like fucking looking at the rainfall and crying.

It's not been like that.

It's all been within normal parameters.

But my normal darkness I think is darker than the average person's

to begin with.

So I think I just sometimes go into those those those places a little bit easier.

Now are you still do you still take antidepressants antidepressants or no?

Yeah,

the only thing I'm on now is just the welbutrient.

Is it daily?

Daily, yeah.

And if you forget,

no, it's pretty good.

It's not like a catastrophic thing.

No, not at all.

Where's my noose?

No, I've gotten like sometimes I forgot them at home when I was out of town for two weeks and I just didn't get it.

So you didn't take it for two weeks?

Yeah, and I didn't feel any difference.

Oh, okay.

Well, it takes a while to build up in your system, and then it'll take a while to, like, I'm not sure what the half-life is, but it'll take a while.

It'll take a while to go to the system, yeah.

Plus, my situation, you know, I'm happy with life now.

It's not really

I felt that when I when I was at my lowest, I don't think I've ever felt as bad as that 10-day period

for this, yeah.

Where I was not talking, I wasn't doing anything, I was just fucking getting up to go to sleep.

You know, I'd get up and then like an hour later, I'd just go lie down again and go to sleep.

It was bad.

Yeah, that's not good.

I don't like to think of you like that, bud.

I'm not usually ever like that.

That's what I mean.

Like, if that happens, it's usually like an hour where I feel bad, and then I come out of it.

This one was 10 days, it was bad.

That's rough.

Yeah, the tone of your texts were pretty dark for a little bit.

Were they?

Guys, do you know where I can get cyanide?

You're going to kill yourself.

Now you're in a place where everything is closed.

I'll tell you what, it has rekindled my

romance with Declan because I went months without talking to Declan.

Really?

So much so that I think I even said it on air one time.

I was like, I haven't heard from Declan in forever.

But me and him, he got a 3D printer.

They have them now with a 300 bucks in it.

Yeah, so we just scan our genitals and send them to each other and we just print them out.

No, so he suggested one and I bought one and we're sending each other little models to print and stuff like that.

Yeah, that's cool.

Like a little model club.

Yeah, the Elagoo the Elagoo Mars, it's called.

Subtly cleaning the house.

You actually made a club name for your...

No, no, that's the name of the

machine.

The Alagu Mars.

That's a gang.

Quinns.

Do you have to be a Quinn to be in it?

So far, you won't.

Win it to win it.

Yeah, that's it.

Who do we got?

Cola Quinn, Martha Quinn.

Yeah.

Anthony Quinn.

He's dead, right?

My brother, Jimmy Quinn.

Your whole family.

I suffered.

I saw one of my notes from last week.

I missed it, though.

We were talking about if someone were accused of this crime or busted for this crime, like

your dad was, he didn't do anything.

He didn't go anywhere, but like the to catch a predator thing, he was like chatting online.

Yeah.

And

his name was Talented Tongue Q.

And he's just chatting.

He's saying some dirty things.

Yeah.

How do you handle that with your dad?

Illegal dirty things or just like weird dirty things?

Well, he's talking to underage girls, so it's all illegal.

Oh,

I mean, that's putting in a, look, it's my dad.

What am I going to do?

I'm going to stop him from doing it.

But what is he saying?

I mean, he's not acting it out.

He's saying he could get a video shout-out from you if the girl shows him her butthole.

How old are the girls?

She's 90.

I mean, if I...

No, no, no.

If he were just saying like some, like, just weird stuff.

Well, I mean, look.

Not sexual, but just weird, like asking questions about their lives.

Like, do you like horses?

And just like weird shit.

Yeah.

I don't know why he's called talented tongue.

I don't know.

I would, I mean, if it was not illegal, if it was 18 and above,

I would just be like, I don't know.

I think

I'd like to say that I'm

like, 90s, I'd be like, just let him fucking sit at the computer and fucking claim he is a talented tongue.

It's like, he's not doing anything.

At what point, like, do you think at some point you'll look back?

Because I think about getting old all the time.

Like, I'm looking at Sage the other day.

We're flying kites.

Well, I'm not flying kites because I got pissed after two tries.

I'm like, fuck kites forever.

You're like Charlie Brown with that fucking trick.

Definitely, definitely.

Mary Beth had it up.

Like, as much string as she had, that's how much fucking string.

I never wished I had a pair of scissors on me as much as I did.

I wanted to cut that shit and watch it fly away.

But I'm looking at Sage and I'm like, she's so big

and like the shit she talks about and the shit she cares about.

And I'm like,

what's going to happen 10 years from now?

Like, she's 24 or 34.

I'm like, what's that world like?

And technically, like.

That's maturation, bro.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Reflection.

Or my head is clear.

I'm like, oh, no, this is the shit I should have been thinking about.

I was just like, okay, so

say like 40 years from now,

she's what, 54?

She's older than me?

You're not going to, you're probably not going to be a little bit more.

Dude, my grandmother.

My grandmother died in fucking 98.

Yeah, but you're a male.

Do you think so?

Yeah,

I'd go with the fucking grandpa more than the fucking grandma.

Oh, yeah.

Okay, so.

He died in his early 70s.

He fell down, broke his hip, and just went south from there.

But he was a chronic alcoholic when he was.

40 years, you're trying to think into the future.

Hey,

this new medicine's got me fucking like raring the goat.

I try and imagine 40 years, and even I'm like,

84 might be asking a lot.

You can't even conceive of it, yeah.

But I'm just like, who's going to look after her?

Like, who's going to watch her, you know?

Meredith.

I guess so.

That's it.

She constantly says she's like, I'll die before you

buy my hand, maybe, but otherwise.

That's what she says all the time.

Is there going to be a prenup?

I don't think so.

We should

have some sort of contract that you don't have her read the fine print that she has to fucking

take care of Sage.

So before we're even married,

it's predicated on a lie.

What, she's never been lied to?

Tell him, Steve, Dave.