#430: Oldmandalorian

Fuck you, your best days are gonna be behind you fast, you fucking jock pieces of shit.

I'm going to Sandusky Sandusky, you.

No wonder why he built a fucking mansion with a train and a fucking everything.

No, no, that was the fuck, kids.

Well, whatever.

The train was to make his getaway.

Tell him, Steve, Dave.

Hello, and welcome to this week's edition of Tell Hem Steve Dave.

Now, hopefully, this will come out today, Thursday, or not today, Thursday, tomorrow, Friday.

And that way, no complaints.

Inside of a week, you got a new weapon.

No complaints about what?

Everyone is happy that they don't have to wait too long.

Well, they'll complain about the content then.

You think so?

Oh, fuck it.

Do you plan on delivering some sub-par content?

No,

I think that they're going to complain no matter what.

Certain people know.

Well, keep your ears peeled.

See if there's something to complain about.

There is.

I'm in a fucking horrible mood.

Bad mood, huh?

Yeah, I'm angry.

Got any advice for him, Walt?

How do we get more design?

Well, I had hoped that, you know,

you've been at the stash here for about 25 minutes.

I had thought maybe

you would.

Someone had a negative energy.

Yeah, maybe it would dissipate, you know, being at the table.

You did a couple, you did a couple special recordings before we start the regular episode.

Does it feel like a shortcoming on your part that we haven't been able to turn him around yet?

No, not at all.

By the end of this hour?

Yeah, I mean, it's only been 25 minutes.

By the end of this hour, he's going to forget why he was so pissed off.

He was also hungry, so now that he's eaten.

Oh, that's true.

I believe it's possible.

No,

it's one of those things that people are like.

Oh, that's who you're complaining about?

Meanwhile, it's a fucking complete violation of my time and privacy.

Fuck with cunts.

I don't know.

I feel like if somebody watches IJ, they should be able to share a bathroom stall with you.

They've seen every episode.

Come on.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

I owe it to them.

Fuck off.

You don't like the feeling that

people think that you are obligated to them

as a public persona.

That'll be till the end of time, right?

If somebody's as a public persona.

I mean, look at what Michael Jackson was reduced to.

Yeah.

Having to hide.

I mean, I'm not at Michael Jackson level.

Before you know it, you'll be.

Yeah, but that's the fucking thing.

That's the thing.

Michael Jackson was worth billions of dollars, so he could fucking do whatever he wanted and get the fuck away from maniacs.

No wonder why he built a fucking mansion with a train and a fucking everything.

No, no, that was to fuck kids.

Well, whatever.

The train was to make his getaway.

I'm like, you can't support that, I guess.

I guess.

I'm not even sure.

Who knows?

I mean, that doesn't sound positive at all.

Now, do you,

just since we brought it up, do you believe is

Michael J innocent?

Jackson, is he innocent?

Or do you believe he was

accusing the things he was accused of?

I think that I don't know.

So it's hard for me to say, but I haven't watched that HBO documentary, so I only know what I'm told.

But I don't know, man.

There was that guy who wrote who the families hired to investigate him back in the 90s.

And he was, at the end of it, was like, I don't think he did it.

But wasn't some of the kids they knew what

his pecker look like?

Like,

certain look to it.

Like, it was

very,

very,

like, it would stand out in a crowd, this Pecker.

Really?

Yeah.

There were kids around.

I don't know.

I don't remember what it was that made it so unique.

I don't know.

I don't remember, but I knew.

Yeah, but how many variations of a pecker could there be?

I mean, it can't be.

I mean, if it's got a certain like curvature or of a certain like blotches or

it's long, short,

fat, skinny.

Whatever it was.

Oh, it was.

Someone's saying

from the audience is like it was a white pecker.

So it's his face, though, and his body though.

So why was that so unusual, though?

Could you believe it?

A white pecker?

Basically a white man?

I think it's weird enough that he was...

So adamant, Chalet.

I think you said that like three times, right?

Yeah, I didn't.

Talking about Buckingham Chops' copper.

Distinctive marks were perfectly described by accuser Jordan Chandler.

I mean, that's pretty bad.

In 1993, and he gave $23 million after the 13-year-old claimed the singer did all kinds of stuff to him.

It says here, let's see, distinctive marks on his penis and buttocks as he suffered from the skin condition vitaligo.

Oh, so you know what?

Vitiligo.

Much credit to that person who.

However you pronounce it.

That person who yelled out or whispered white.

Are you talking about Stacey?

I don't know if you want.

I mean, I don't know what you want.

I bet that's what was wrong with him.

I don't know.

I don't think it's tough to say that it's weird that he fucking hung out with kids like that, no matter what.

That's fucking bizarre.

It's weird, though, that they haven't removed his music from

the landscape.

They totally removed it.

Why is Bill Cosby sitting in jail and you can't see?

I mean, I know I sit in the jail, but why can't you see

the show in syndication?

Well, no, yeah, no, or you can't see the show on syndication.

It's done.

It's out.

Yeah, you will never see it.

And he's been widely denounced as a rigorous.

Well, I mean,

he's guilty.

He's convicted.

He's in jail.

I mean, it seems a little different.

He's convicted, though.

It's a difference.

You gave somebody $23 million.

You may as well be convicted.

In the court of opinion.

Yeah.

I mean,

that's a lot of money to give to somebody if you're like...

I mean, you have money for lawyers for decades.

So why would you not fight it to the bitter end?

Do you think he would have, like, you know, he was planning that big comeback when

he went to his coma?

I didn't know that.

Oh, yeah, he was training to make this gigantic comeback.

Okay.

Do you think it would have resulted in the world falling back in love again with Michael?

Yeah.

Despite the

documentary and all that?

You would think that

documentary.

I don't think he had dance moves.

People would have been like, ah, fuck it.

Forget it.

How was that different from fucking what happened after he paid $23 million?

Or like Chris Burke?

Pepsi hired him to fucking dance around on stage.

Oh,

that Pepsi stuff was way before.

That was like 1983.

Yeah, that shit was way before.

Yeah.

Yeah, he got his hair turned on.

You're telling me that

after he was accused the first time, he never

left on the scrap pile?

Who was fucking paying him to endorse their product?

I don't know.

Maybe no one.

But Gary Glitter's song was just in the Joker, wasn't it?

That was a shocker.

But he doesn't own that song anymore.

When I first heard that song, but it's still an artist who's a pedophile.

I was very surprised that they chose to use that song.

I'm sure nobody in the audience

realized it.

I don't think.

Gary left it the second I came on.

I was like, did you know that song was written by Child Molester?

But she wouldn't have known unless you were there to fill her in.

That's what I'm saying.

I don't think a lot of people realized it,

but I remember looking at my wife and being like,

Oh my God.

And she's like, What?

And I was like, That song.

You know how I'd sing that.

You don't use that song anymore.

And she was like, Why?

She didn't even know about it.

So I don't think a lot of people knew.

And not only a child molester, but like a sex tourist.

He really had to go out of his way.

He was still live kids.

No, he died.

I don't think so.

Yeah, he died.

The same with that other British guy, like that kids host.

I can't remember his name.

That's a fucked up story.

Yeah, what the fuck.

He was a national treasure, too.

Yeah.

But even like you look at the Who, where what's his name was on the fucking

good research?

Yeah.

That's really hard to digest because I like a lot of who songs.

You know, I want to listen to those songs.

I don't want to feel guilty by listening to those songs.

Yeah, there are crimes that I suppress that may be amusing.

I don't know because it's not interesting to who are you or Magic Buss anymore.

I mean, but he kind of survived it, though.

Chris Brown is still making music.

Chris Brown's embraced.

Yeah.

Not that other dude, though.

R.

Kelly.

I mean, look, there are certain crimes that are just.

Yeah, urinating on children.

He's just different than pop and Rihanna.

You can go far, but you got to eventually the chains got to choke back on you.

Beating Rihanna, I guess, is one thing.

But yeah, that guy was fucking crazy.

So why?

So you're feeling tense.

You're aggravated.

Yeah, I'm just in a bad mood today.

What are you going to do?

I don't get this way that often.

If Tell him Steve Dave.

I couldn't even tell you the last time I was in a mood like this.

Really?

And I used to live my life in a state like this.

So that's something good to realize.

But let's see by the end of this episode if you can tell us, be honest, if Tell him Steve Dave was the cure-all for what ails you.

I'm already feeling it.

If you walk out of here still feeling aggravated, even a little bit.

Okay.

Be honest.

Oh, well.

It's like an oral elixir, right?

Like, fuck it, just pour it in your ears.

Jimmy Seville.

Yeah, that's it.

It's fucking, you know,

what is with guys and their inability to fucking keep their hands off of girls?

Like, I was watching a documentary the other.

It's The Keepers.

I can only watch a little bit at a time.

It's about the Catholic Church in the 60s and this fun

place, and you're just like, it's...

All these poor

girls have had a great lead-in.

A segue.

And every fucking crime show you see, like, you know, you watch women behind bars.

It's like, bang, bang, bang, bang, bang, bang.

Everybody's molested.

Nobody can fucking keep their goddamn hands off.

It doesn't make sense.

And it's like, I don't.

Like, what is it?

Like, you can't even begin to understand.

It's like, like, looking at this, this cupper, this microphone, and being like, I see it as a sexual object.

It's crazy.

It's weird.

It's something.

I mean, there have been girls that I've looked at and been like, holy fuck, she's hot.

And they're like, yeah, she's 17.

Well, even 17 is different than seven.

Yeah.

Yeah.

But but even then, when you hear that, you're like, whoa, oh, all right.

Well,

let me rain that.

And then, you know what I mean?

But like, yeah, to look at little kids like that, I don't, you're just broken.

And fuck up their lives.

You know, you don't see these people.

It's monstrous.

I got a great tie-in to what you guys are talking about.

It goes back a few years.

We mentioned this on Tellum Steve, Dave.

And I believe

it was your shining moment on Tell him Steve, Dave.

I've never been more prouder of you and your

take no prisoners

takedown of Penn State back when Joe Papa and all that bullshit was going on a couple years ago.

I got to find some more moments to shine in.

That was a while ago.

I believe right there, if we had quit Tell them Steve Dave that night

and you just released that episode, you were on fire.

You were like fucking bringing down the fucking pain.

Like Penn State was fucking reeling.

You were unrelenting in your, in your, like, your hotel.

You're fucked them up in a permanent way.

You're still feeling the reverberation through the hallowed halls of Penn State.

But some people now at Penn State have forgotten.

Have you heard about what happened?

To Penn State?

They don't know that

that quickly they forgot that Sandusky?

Well, yeah, because it just came out.

A former Penn State football player is suing the university, claiming star players violently hazed younger players and made sexual threats invoking noted child rapist Jerry Sandusky.

I'm going to Sandusky you.

It was a threat that they would make while rubbing their genitalia on the younger players' faces.

Oh my God, it's one of the bows I had for Mary Beth.

Oh, that is so bizarre.

Oh, can you imagine that?

This fucking program should have got the death penalty back when it happened.

There should have been no football program.

But the NCAA fucking gave them, for whatever reason, a reprieve and allowed that program to exist.

And this is the fucking

right back at it.

Like Sandusky never existed.

I mean, it's crazy.

Force play, wall.

According to this player who, in his lawsuit, the upperclassmen intended to make the new guys, quote unquote, their bitch from the get-go, telling them this is now a prison.

What the fuck is going on over there?

Threats like...

Who allows it?

I'm going to fuck you.

I'm going to Sandusky you.

This is Jerry entering you.

I'm going to Sandusky You is actually

a pretty funny line.

It's pretty funny,

but they're not underage.

It's going to be something funny to say to your friends.

Yeah, that's what I mean.

Like, you're going to

fall asleep on a Sandusky.

It's just stupid.

But this is the problem.

Like, you guys, I mean, you guys probably had more of these guys in high school than anybody else.

Like, back in the 70s, these football jocks.

80s, bro.

We're in the 80s.

80s.

I don't know.

Aren't you guys 70?

Thought you guys from the Galapagos Islands and shit like that.

But like these fucking football jocks who thought they were all hot shit in high school.

Did you do it?

You know what I mean?

We had these guys though.

We definitely know what you're talking about.

We had them in my school.

We all sand duskied ourselves.

No, no, I don't know.

I don't know who he's talking about.

But this is what's going on, Q.

They're placing their genitals on the face of the...

of the lowerclan.

An upperclassman would hold down a lowerclan and present his penis close to the face, stroking it gently and simulating the action of ejaculation.

That made me want to stay back every year so I couldn't.

There's claims that they would put their penises on the buttocks of the lowerclassman and stroke and again simulate masculine.

Oh, my God.

Sometimes while the victim was naked in the locker room shower, and,

you know,

they reported this hazing to the coaching staff, including the head coach, but nothing was done.

by the team specifically.

This is insane.

Can you think of any point in your life?

Any point in your life where if someone rubbed their genitalia in your face, you would do a better job?

Because I imagine they're just trying to motivate them to play better at football.

I'm going to tell you an absolutely true story.

Sal and I were in Manhattan this week.

We were walking down the street.

We were walking side by side.

His hand brushed mine.

And I was like, oh.

That was a story of Sal not being funny enough in your genitalia being on.

No,

I was like, whoa.

I was like, what's your fucking?

It wasn't his fault.

It was equally my fault.

But I'm like, why are we walking so close together that we're touching?

Well, it's a busy street.

Disgusting.

It's a city.

Disgusting.

You know, I'm looking at Walt's shirt here.

He's got a very woke.

Yeah.

What's going on here?

I love it.

What's wrong with that?

Nothing's wrong.

Nothing wrong with it.

Keep bringing it up, though.

I'm looking at it because I was about to ask, like, with these football players, especially, it seems, like, why is everything involving hazing so gay?

But it's not gay.

Because I look at that, it's like

it's a perversion, like a twisted, aggressive, like rapist mentality.

There's nothing gay about it.

It's fucking insane.

Well, I mean, that, I mean, same-sex shit.

Yeah.

If you're like rubbing your cock on somebody, then you're a gay rapist.

You're homosexual.

You're not gay, but you're raping somebody in some sort of homosexual manner.

Yeah, I don't know the right label to put on it, but I know what you mean.

I want to label it.

I just don't know how to.

Go ahead, bro.

And

I want to give you the platform.

Like last time.

You fucking.

like

you fucking rein Brimstone on Penn State.

You could do it again, man.

Win back a lot of people and get back.

Oh, you think?

Yeah.

Oh, yeah, maybe.

All right.

Yeah.

All right.

I told you about this earlier so you could have

worked it up.

Yeah.

What did I say last time?

Make a statue down like a Saddam Hussein, maybe?

I don't know.

It's not even the school.

It is the school because you know there's fucking idiots on the, on the fucking, who go to the school are going to be like, oh, it's just hijinks.

Yeah,

we both played on multiple teams in high school.

Yes.

Did it even come close to?

Like, do you remember anything close to that?

Like, you remember hearing shit?

Yeah, the pickle in the butt.

Hearing it.

Yeah, never saw it happen.

Never saw it, never experienced it.

Everything was just hearsay.

But you guys didn't play sports.

No, it was basketball, soccer.

There was no hazing, though.

No, no, not even any mention of it.

Unless if we voluntarily, for the team, put on a little show.

But again, though, is there any point

where

you feel that could motivate you to do a better job at anything you're doing?

No.

No.

Right?

No.

I mean, you hear that is more of that if you don't, right?

I mean, then it would.

I mean, I was just quit the team, but like, don't you have like

a scholarship?

You got to play or else you're off the campus then.

Yeah, but it's like...

You're not smart enough to go there and just academics.

I'm not good enough at fucking sports to go there on a scholarship.

No, I mean, just fucking let the coach.

Didn't they used to have things where the team would go into the locker room and there would be like five strippers there that the coach hired, and those were the fucking way to.

I never heard of that.

Yeah, wasn't it?

Yeah, yeah, they would do that too.

Yeah,

yeah, but that would get somebody fucking lamb-basted and fired and blackballed from ever working.

Why?

Those girls are there making money.

It's corrupt, though.

It's corrupting youth.

It's morally bankrupt.

Those youths are going to fuck.

I think all all fucking.

I think

I'm not going for a Brian Johnson sort of fucking swing for people like me.

Well, this is, you know, this is another opportunity.

If he's not going to step up and fucking deliver.

No, I'm telling you, I'm not going to.

Because what I'm about to say is this.

I think high school and college, all fucking sports programs should be canceled.

That's what I think.

Fuck these fucking jocks who think they're better than everybody else with their hyper-aggressive shit.

Fucking yank it.

Go back to fucking studying and proving yourself with your mind, or fuck off.

Fuck you.

Your best days are going to be behind you fast.

You fucking jock pieces of shit.

I like it, Kiri, buddy.

I like the passion.

I think you're going a little bit overboard.

No, because they fucking walk around high school and they fucking acting like they're fucking kings of the world, not knowing that they're going to fucking

be fucking miserable for the rest of their lives.

Their glory days behind them.

Because if they don't get into the NFL, then what?

Fuck them.

They think about it.

Yeah, fuck them.

If you're that into football, that you got guys rubbing their dicks all over your body, and you're willing to take it in order to play.

I would hope that your dream was to play in the NFL.

Unless your dreams have dicks on your face, but there's an easy way to go about it.

Now, okay, what's the other side of the argument, though?

Let's say the team had a great record.

Yeah.

Could it be because they just were like, okay,

I don't want to have any kind of genitalia on my face during the week.

I'm going to really play hard.

Oh, so the penis is working.

The incentives to do well are out of this world.

Wow.

That's interesting.

Right?

I mean, you take that away.

Maybe

they're a below 500 team.

You got to do what it takes to win.

Results do talk.

Results do talk.

Wait.

I'm going to take back a lot of what I just said.

Would you like to reveal your all the moderators?

Is that how you say it?

Oh, I didn't even have one.

What community college?

I went to Brooklyn College.

I went to the College of Staten Island.

I went to John Jay College, but I didn't really.

Let's say they were vying for a national championship.

If the College of Staten Island was vying for a national championship, that would be fucking a lot of people.

Nothing, but like you're that when you, what do you, when you graduate and you're, what's it called when you're a alumni.

Alumni.

Okay.

Now in 2020, they're vying for a national championship.

Yeah.

And you want to get, you know, maybe you want to get a little bit of great PR by going back and supporting the team.

I think I know where this is going.

Okay.

So far, it sounds like me.

You believe whatever you're told.

Your Your PR guy is like, hey, you got, you know,

this team has caught the nation's attention.

And you holding hands with Sal recently?

Turn the light off.

You got to go there, get some FaceTime on TV, do an interview, how proud you are, the team.

Love these guys.

And then it comes out, you know,

they were doing some things to motivate the players that, you know, were a little

dicey.

Yeah.

And then it comes, you know, what do you do?

Do you have to come to condemn them or do you...

Yeah, I thought I've said this before.

I'll flip on anybody in two seconds if it means preserving myself.

Oh, I thought he had to step in

alma mater and like with his IJ fame and really get everybody going, like take a picture where it's like

the guy's balls on his forehead and underneath it's like sack.

Oh, that would be a scandal.

Yeah, that would be a scandal.

You might not recover from that.

I thought you were going to say that he was going to like that or like he was going to step in and beat a coach or something.

Oh, he cleaned up the program.

Honorary coach.

Oh, he steps in.

It's like, all right, no more of this.

No more genitalian faces.

No more stuff than genitalia.

We're just going to go to old-fashioned, you know, chalk sky.

We're going to try to play football.

He's playing football for Christ's sake.

I don't know of any plays.

At least I know not to put the fucking bears.

I'm more here to tell you what not to do than what to do.

There are plays you guys do involving being naked on each other.

We're not going to do those plays.

Those are out of the playbook.

We're taking that playbook and we're tossing that one out.

Any plays with the word, with the number 69, Lara eliminate it from any future practice.

It gets people too worked up.

I watch this thing.

You should watch it.

Walt.

I think you'd like it.

It's on Netflix.

Aaron Hernandez documentary.

Yeah, I've heard a lot about this.

It's really interesting in as much as I knew sort of the basic facts of this.

Yeah, so do I.

I know the basics of it.

And I think it's three episodes.

It's like about three episodes they're painting a picture that he might not be guilty they're painting a picture that he may not be guilty um

and the reasons he may be guilty you know all the cte stuff um his childhood and all this other shit there are parts where i gotta say like you kind of feel bad for the guy right when he's talking to his mom you're like that is not a good mom like i haven't seen any of it but yeah how many episodes is it like three so it's three hour thing about three hours yeah yeah i'm gonna check it out yeah i think you'd like it it's interesting not a lot of like um Brady stuff, like not a lot of.

He's on the Patriots.

I would hope you would think that they would want to

talk to people about that time, but like not really.

Like probably nobody would want to talk to the documentary.

It was not a great moment for the Patriots, I guess.

It's one of the ones that they like to hide underneath brush, underneath the rug.

Yeah.

And they were like the second, because I guess he tried to get an appeal in the documentary, they're like, you know, in the second trial, like, nobody came out to support him, not his friends, not his old teammates.

It's like,

come on, man.

Like, this is the second trial.

Like, it wasn't even the appeal.

It was the second trial where he killed two other guys.

I thought.

So it's like, well, you got to distance yourself from the dude.

Like, he was my teammate.

He wasn't my friend growing up and shit, you know?

Yeah.

That'd be a rough one.

What do you think IJ could weather that?

Weather Murray killing people?

Yeah,

it's definitely Murray.

I don't know.

He came in today.

You're a little fucking grouchy.

I can see if you're like, you know,

yeah, I mean, whoever it was,

no, I don't think it could weathered.

You acted like Sonic just fucked up your order.

No,

you know, I think comedy is hard, man, because you don't want people distracted by murders while they're watching.

You fucking do fart jokes.

I watched this

show, only part of it.

And it's, what was it called?

60 in 60 or something like that.

It's these people who, everyday people who agree to go to jail, like a county jail for 60 days.

I watched some of this the other day.

I found the people, especially the school teacher guy, not likable enough to keep going.

I don't think I saw the same.

I only saw a clip.

I was in the vet's office.

They had it like on the TV or something.

Yeah, I watched the first two episodes.

So you take like everyday people and then they go into jail and they document it.

Was one a prison guard in the series you saw?

Yes, it was a lady.

Yeah.

Oh, no.

The one I saw was a guy.

It was kind of a

not chubby guy, but a thicker guy who was a prison guard that was going into prison for 60 days.

There was a guy who was a mall security guard.

And this is what I was wondering, like, what you guys would do.

So

average guys who...

You're too recognizable.

Say somebody who's...

I am?

There may be somebody in that prison that's like, oh, I like Comic Book Men or whatever, you know.

Tell them Steve Davis.

I haven't heard anybody say, hey, I like Comic Book Men in years when I'm out in the real world.

Really?

Yeah.

So I think I could go to jail and nobody would notice me.

At least you hope.

I wouldn't want to test it.

Right, yeah.

But just say, you know, like Joe Average goes in, and like there was one lady whose husband was in the military, and she's like, why do these prisoners get the same treatment that the military does?

I don't think it's fair.

I want to go in and see how good they have it.

Then there's a guy who's a school teacher.

I just did it for this reason, the mall security guard.

That's like,

you know, I wanted to see if I could do it.

And the mall security guard, his backstory is, you know, because they're going to ask you, like, why are you in jail?

His crime was he was an accountant who was embezzling.

And I thought, why the fuck would you not just say, I was a mall security guard who helped people shoplift.

I was part of a shoplifting ring because you couldn't, you would know all those different things.

Sure.

You would never fuck up because you don't know if a guy's an accountant there.

Right.

Like, your story has to be so tight that you would need to know tons of shit about accounting.

Yeah.

But it's most likely if the accountant, if let's say there's another accountant in the fucking yard, you don't got to worry about him shivving you.

He's a fucking accountant.

Nobody could expose you.

I was like, I don't think this guy's on the up and up.

And that's what happened to the school teacher because he fucked up one of his details.

And then they're like, then everybody's like, I think he's a cop.

A narc.

A narc.

Yeah.

You know what they do to norcs?

I'm assuming stab them.

Yeah, bad things.

Yeah.

Like, it's like being on Penn State.

No, no, no.

What crime do you think you would say?

Wait, just did Penn State, what happened?

Are they canceling the football program?

Well, this just broke, so the NCA has got to do

an investigation, and they're probably going to do some

major, major penalties are going to be.

They got to just shut it down, right?

These people can't be trusted.

Well, they shut it down shortly after

the Joe Paw Sandusky stuff, right?

Yeah, but they brought the program back.

They relented.

They said there was going to be a five-year ban, but it wasn't.

It was only a one-year or two-year.

I can remember what it was.

But I don't know.

How the fuck could these kids not be like.

Because I guess you can make the argument because they are kids that are not mature enough to fucking realize that there's some things that should be respected and should be honored.

And fucking the abuse that took place on your campus should not be the fucking butt, excuse me, excuse me.

A joke

or a bizarre and stupid sorority or not sorry.

It's weird because I don't even mind hazing.

Like, do some fun, light hazing, but, like, don't make it sexual, especially at Penn State.

Exactly.

Like, make them eat some raw eggs or some bullshit.

Whatever.

Any number of my ex-girlfriends, emotional abuse can be just as effective as this killing yourself, right?

Get in their heads.

Make them stay.

Get in their heads.

You make them doubt themselves.

Yeah.

I think hazing just has to be eliminated, though.

Because

a person will bring it to the extremes, even though they'll say they're not going to.

It will always be dragged over the line eventually though if you allow any type of hazing well then what is hazing

because we

get him was here two minutes ago we were busting his balls without mercy like that's one step away from hazing

years later you know what i'm saying like like i think hazing is like it's especially for teams and fraternities and shit like that.

And it's anything that would fall for a team, anyway, anything that would fall outside the norm of like what it takes to be on that team, special skills skills, or like if you're good enough to be on the team, that should be it.

You don't need to like then have guys' sex on your faces and all this other shit.

I know they're like, it builds morale and yeah, so I'm saying because of the fire department.

Mario, did you do that shit?

Hell yeah, we got all sorts.

We were dumping buckets on each other, we were putting like buckets of what

come, right?

No, water and stuff like that.

Yeah, it's different.

But there was hazing,

but it was so you're so the definition of hazing.

Hazing is that you don't feel

eliminated.

You should feel should still be a part of

the the process i feel yeah we used to if you stepped out of like the the the apparatus store the big where the fire trucks come out and you look up you might get a fucking bucket on your head bucket of water somebody in the roof pouring it on you we did that to each other all the fucking time like it was fun man like what if but can it cross a line like uh if if they're if they're doing it to a let's say i know it probably wasn't done on purpose but let's say it's to a female and now all of a sudden she's got a wet t-shirt well okay that's an interesting thing you're saying because why shouldn't she be treated equally?

Well, why is she wearing a white t-shirt?

She's out of costume.

She's out of uniform, not wearing a pro, right?

She's out of uniform.

But right, okay, so now

she's coming to the fire house, and everybody's like, guys,

all the fucking hygiene's got to stop when she's around.

That's not fun for her either.

I don't fucking know.

You know?

You've got to eliminate fun.

Fun is what leads to all the trouble.

Fun is what leads to all the trouble.

This is trivial.

Yeah.

I don't know, how these kids couldn't be like, look, we just got it reinstated.

Well, let's haze each other.

But all the like the gay stuff

will just

out of respect to the guys who got molested.

For Christ's sake, yeah.

I don't know how they didn't think it would come out, though.

I don't know how they didn't think that this somebody would not tell.

Well, who ratted?

One of the former players.

Huh.

Filed a lawsuit.

Good luck.

Now, again, no,

he's getting on a job.

This is just his word.

We don't know if this has been proven yet.

There's going to be a big investigation

at CAA, but it doesn't look good.

Unlikely he'd be saying it if it weren't true.

But just in Youngstown, Ohio, I think.

Like somebody died from drinking too much and shit.

You think back to

like you're 18 or 19.

Some of the shit that I did, like in retrospect, was like, oof, that could have gone a totally different way.

Like helping Ed draw somebody out to beat them up for banging his girlfriend one time.

Could have been

implicated in a a murder.

Accessory to damaging of a Volkswagen.

So yeah, like any number of those things could have gone a different way.

So maybe, yeah.

They're like, hey, let's just drink until we're fucking

blotted.

Yeah.

Many times.

I wasn't even being hazed.

Just did it for the hell of it.

All right, you were saying, what would he go to jail for?

What about to tell the yard?

If I'm in the yard and that

first day in jail and and I got to tell them what I did, I want to tell them.

Sandusky to motherfucker.

And I'll sand dusky you.

You'll fucking turn around.

Look the other way right now.

That's all I do.

Everybody with a good Sandusky in.

So

you want to line yourself with a child molester in prison.

That's the plan.

I want to tell him something tough.

Something rough.

You know, not something like, you know, no white-collar bullshit.

Yeah.

So embezzling, you wouldn't go for it.

Yeah.

Like it would have to be like a.

Maybe bank robbery.

Hmm.

There's probably going to be some bank robbers in there, so you'd have to know your story pretty well.

Yeah.

Or maybe you did it really stupidly.

Yeah, yeah, you got caught.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Well, I got caught.

Yeah.

I just walked in.

I was high.

I was flying on the antibodies.

Right.

I don't remember much of what happened, guys.

You know, but

I knew I was definitely high.

I was on dust, I'll say.

You want to verify it?

Here's my friend, I mean my enemy, Troy.

Talk to him.

And then I would be like, you know, I walked in and I said I had a gun

in my waistband.

I told him I was going to kill any motherfuckers who didn't give me money.

Because I needed more PCBs.

I needed more dust.

I needed more dust.

Yeah.

And then they'd be like, oh, you guys got any dust?

Damn sun.

And they're going to be like, yeah, we do.

Let's do it.

I wish I had some money in my fucking account so I could buy some dust.

No, no, no.

First, that's free.

Now you packed yourself into a corner.

Now you're on dust.

I just can't have a programming.

I don't want to become a junkie again.

Like, now I just deal.

Don't get high in your own supply.

Like some star-faced stuff, they'll appreciate it.

Now I'm into fucking needles and stuff.

I don't do fucking dust.

Oh, we got that too.

You shouldn't say anything.

Don't offer anything.

Oh, fuck.

You can be religious, though.

You could be like, oh, you know,

I'll salamalay.

Yeah.

Yeah.

I'm a Muslim now.

You know, I'll say like, I found, you know, the Muhammad and everything.

And then

maybe I can join, you know, in the yard, I can hook up with the Muslims.

I think that's probably not going to work out for you.

If you're going into, I've felt like if I ever went into prison prison, it's like as lame as it would be, I'd have to align myself with the white power guys.

Like, nobody else is going to be able to do it.

Well, you got the tattoo.

I got the tattoo.

I'm halfway through my training, guys, as you can see.

I got the rest of the clock to be

able to oju.

You'd have to, do it.

I would have to, and I would have to be like.

Yo, Johnson, you got a visitor.

And you fuck, you go inside, and all of a sudden, fucking Sunday Jeff's on the other side of that window.

Can you visit you?

Oh, I'd be like, oh, he's mad because I bashed his brother.

Bashed him a real good guy.

I wonder what this

Jew bagel has to say.

Isn't it funny of all

right?

It's a funny idea that all white supremacists in prison, all of them don't really believe it.

Like, they're all just too afraid to be the first person to be like,

Seriously, guys, yeah, like they all agree, but they all got to keep it up just to stay safe.

Yeah, it would be so lame

to have to like go along.

And then they're going to be like, well, prove it.

Like, you know, go stab this black dude for no reason.

Him?

I'm like, he seems all right.

Well, then I would call the producer and I'd be like, you got to get me out of here.

I'm not going to last 60 days.

Yeah.

If only from here an hour, I'm ready to meet hate crimes.

I'm lying off being on dust.

I know that wasn't my original cover story, but it felt right at the time.

Barely made it out alive.

Now when they got me shipping some black guy, they said, you know, I'm into the boy Tower state.

None of this we could air.

That's what you do.

Why were you saying all that?

I got nervous.

I'm in jail.

You guys are safe.

I'm in the fucking shit down there.

Get me out of here.

Nobody's like, get me out.

Yeah,

I wouldn't say any crimes that I couldn't be like, that I haven't committed already.

What crime would you say then?

I couldn't say like getting pulled over.

I mean, I had my mug shot, so I could could show them that and be like, I'm legit.

But if anybody Googled it and they're like, oh, so you didn't pay a ticket,

then I'm not hard.

I need to be hard while I'm in jail.

So,

yeah, I don't know.

I've never really committed that great of a crime that it's not.

Well, can't you be the prison guard?

No, they're not allowing that, it would seem in this show.

An untrained prison guard versus the prisoner.

Couldn't you you pretend to be the new warden who's just filling in for a week?

Yeah, I'm a substitute warden.

You're here in training.

You're the assistant warden?

Yeah, I could do that.

Because then I don't have to explain myself to the cons.

They're like, hey, what's your background?

I'm like, shut up, put them in the hole.

Yeah.

Yeah.

I'd be like the warden in Shawshank.

Yeah, that guy had a fucking everything on lockdown.

I'm in rackets, denying libraries.

Is that the awesome?

Casting people down to Sodom.

Yeah.

Would you,

it's weird, yeah, like real religious, yet payoffs and murder and all kinds of shit.

Yeah, that is a way to justify anything in your own head, I think.

Yeah,

I've been re-watching Big Love with Mary Beth.

She never saw it, the show, Bill Paxton's show about polygamy.

And, I mean, if there's any basis in fact at all, it's like, yeah, all these guys are all running rackets, too.

You know, it's.

They take a religion and bend the rule a little bit to make it seem this way.

I mean, if you look in the Bible and you're going to take one verse that is like, all right, all black people are beasts.

They should be whipped and they should be your slave.

And then somebody else interprets that exact verse as like, no, it means a complete opposite of that.

Then it's all open to interpretation.

That doesn't say that in the Bible, does it?

Like, well, remember Oi Sunny when he was quoting Bible verses?

And he's like,

if you whip your slave and he gets up in a day, then

he's a righteous man.

But if he doesn't get up in two days or some shit like that.

It was a whole thing where they're

yeah, I don't remember that.

I mean, but that's what

fanatics and the white power guys do, is they'll just take, oh, well, this is what this

everybody does.

That's what I mean.

Yeah.

So if you want to be someone like a Mormon who, by and large, seems very moral, but bend it a little so you can gamble, and then bend it a little more so you can do this or that.

Yeah, I mean, that's probably.

It only makes it more realistic in today's world and more and easier to live with some of the tenants like the Catholic Church, you know, like with

birth control.

Right.

It's like they lighten up.

They're like, it's not realistic.

It's not whatever shit back then was going on, that same shit isn't going on today.

So birth control is all right.

You don't have to use the rhythm method or whatever.

Is every form of birth control all right, though?

Or only certain ones are now okay?

Well.

With who?

Catholic Church?

Yeah.

That I don't know.

Okay.

Contraception, I think, was the general term.

I took it as meaning rubbers or birth control

or pushing your three-month pregnant girl down the stairs.

You said the rhythm method, did you say?

Yeah, like the rhythm method.

I've heard.

Did I ever tell you the story?

When I was in high school?

And in health class?

We had a health class in the cafeteria.

And I was in with a whole bunch of older classmen

who rubbed their genitalia all over my face before class.

Hey, help morale.

What are you going to do?

No.

But I was in this health class with the nurse of the the high school.

Which one was it?

Was it Keffrey?

Yes.

With the messed up hair?

Yeah.

And

I was barely passing the class.

I was totally zoned out for the majority of the class.

I barely paid attention.

I just kept to myself.

I would draw, I would read, something else, or I'd just put my head down and sleep at times.

And she called on me at one of the last classes.

The first time she ever called on me, and she said,

what's the rhythm method?

What am I like 13?

And then there's like 17, 18-year-old guys in this class, and I had no idea what it was.

So I said, without flinching, I said, the rhythm method.

I said, that's when like

you're a guy and you get a rhythm going, and you make sure that like you don't do something that's going to make you finish.

So you get that rhythm going so you can control yourself and get out of there before anything happens,

before you finish.

Right.

And

just fucking bullshitting.

And she started laughing.

And

I don't know if you're right, because I'm not exactly sure.

No, it has something to do now with bio-rhythms, right?

With weekly, it's like a chart on the calendar and everything.

Oh, so you can still blow your load, but less likely to get pregnant.

Yes.

Yeah, it had nothing to do with your motion being too chaotic.

We're getting laughed at.

What is the rhythm method?

I'm only 52.

How am I supposed to know all this?

what is that were we close

half and a half half and a half but i was so far from what what it was though and i remember like everybody laughing and i'm being like oof this didn't go over well

i passed that class

that's good how ignorant i was on it i think she just passed me just because she she thought that was so fucking funny though like she legitimately was laughing though and just couldn't stop laughing about it because because i actually made the motion like you get like a little

you get a little like a little like you know, you get yourself motion going and you don't break rhythm and you keep that rhythm so you don't finish.

But to me, that's a reasonable answer when giving nothing agreed.

But she had taught it for the whole semester.

Oh, well, then that's something that I'm not going to do.

And I had not paid attention.

That's an awful fit answer.

I should have known it.

Yeah, that's.

I came up and said that was so fucking far to left field that it just started making her laugh because she realized I hadn't been paying attention all semester, though.

That's pretty funny.

Yeah, it looks like, yeah, you're pretty close to the mark.

Well, natural family planning, the rhythm method, also called the calendar method, or the

calendar method or the calendar rhythm method, form of natural family planning.

Track your menstrual history.

Oh, nothing makes me want to fuck more than hear that.

To predict when you'll ovulate, except for that.

And you try to think of something that's like, you know, like sports or something.

Yeah.

Something that's going to take your mind off it.

That's the fun then.

Think of Penn State.

Yeah, like Sun said that.

No, no, no.

Thinking of, like, you try to remember every number of every Devils player from 1995.

Or how you're going to talk your way out of.

Because that's the year of the first cup.

And you go through one through 35.

The whole roster?

Yeah, you try to go through the whole roster and remember the names and their numbers.

Oh, okay.

Yeah.

That's my current rhythm method.

Is it?

Used to be Spider-Man.

Yeah, it used to be Spider-Man, but now I know too much.

I fucking aced that.

I know everything about Spider-Man.

Now I'm going back to like 30-year-old players who haven't played in 30 years.

Soon it'll be how to talk your way out of a half-assed PCP story.

You got an ad?

No, no ads.

No.

No ads this week.

No, no ads this week.

Yeah, and somebody took a little shit for it, I got to tell you.

I got to tell you, I was like, well, fucking load up three in one week and then give me none the next week.

What happened?

Turned out it wasn't her fault that I fucking scolded her before I had all the facts.

Shocking.

Yeah, that we had to do those last week in order to make it.

And then this week.

Because we didn't do the last episode of the last year.

It's my fault, basically, is what fucking comes down to.

Is everyone happy?

But anyway, a lot of listeners right now are fucking shocking.

Yeah, I am.

I'm pretty happy to pick my punk.

Well, whatever.

I know that people, like, nobody loves...

something more than like just getting in on something, right?

Like

and loving it, like this baby Yoda.

Oh my god, I'm so sick of it.

I saw something, I'm not even sure of all the facts.

Q's my Hollywood connection, you know,

Insider?

Yeah.

Okay.

Laura Dern and Baby Yoda.

I have no clue.

And everyone loves it.

But what is it?

She's not even on the show.

She's not on the show.

Maybe she's trying to get on the show.

But she was in Star Wars.

She was in Las Ghetto.

She said something about seeing Baby Yoda and then said they were dating.

And it's on this late-night show, so everybody loves it.

And everyone thinks it's fucking great.

I don't know.

And And I'm just like, what is wrong with the world?

Or what is wrong with people that they need to feel a part of this like

zeitgeist, or like this flavor of the fucking moment type thing, where like nobody's going to give a fuck about baby Yoda in six months.

You think so?

A year.

You're actually

that people are not going to care about.

Remember Bagel Boss?

Everybody cared about him for a minute.

Now they don't.

Well, I mean,

Yoda to

To Fagel shrimp.

You know, he had some heat.

Nobody knows if he's a live star.

Let me check up on him while we're talking about this.

Dude,

Yoda first appeared in, what, 83, 80?

Empire Strikes Back.

I mean, he's got staying power, man.

Like, people love Yoda.

In fact, there's no reason not to love Yoda.

He's awesome.

But is there a reason to love baby Yoda?

Yes.

Did you watch it?

No.

There's plenty of reason.

You're a part of it.

He got you, baby Yoda.

I'll tell you this.

That ending to the show,

he appears in the end of that first episode, was the first time in a long time I was caught off guard.

Are we talking about the, oh, you mean where he was?

The revealed.

Oh, okay, yeah.

That was like, yeah, you did not expect that.

Not even close.

So it was like to get something so awesome that I never even imagined.

I was like, whoa, that's pretty fucking cool.

I didn't go online and like try and get a baby Yoda plush or shit like that.

But I get why people love it.

It was, it was a genuine shock that's not really done anymore.

Like it was, it was kept secret, and it was awesome.

Right.

Right.

And

he's a good character.

Like, he's fun to watch.

I like watching that little baby Yoda go.

So you would say.

You might be wrong, Bri.

I think you may have, like, you may have.

Some things deserve it.

Yeah.

So he's for everyone.

Baby Yoda is.

And if we're not going to have something for everyone, like I said, I did say I'm kind of sick of it, though, because it's kind of like, I'm tired of hearing about it.

But at least it's not something so

inane or

just

like a TikTok video.

Yeah.

Or somebody doing something stupid online and it capturing

someone's fancy or a fucking an influencer doing something

and the world cares.

I'm glad you guys feel that he is for everybody because MAGA people have adopted baby Yoda and perverted it.

Oh, that's what.

That's right.

And people don't like it.

They're getting upset that people who are really into MAGA are are like making Trump mean.

MAGA LORES.

Yeah, so.

But why is anybody getting upset?

Because

he's attaching.

They're attaching something that everyone loves.

The Trump brand to the fucking Yoda brand.

Just don't look at it.

You got to look at it.

I don't.

It's right there.

It's right there.

It's the first time I'm hearing about it, so I didn't know it existed.

Yeah, I think that the MAGA people, and I don't know if

whoever decided to do it is absolutely brilliant because they took something that everyone everyone loves.

Oh, that's the fucking ultimate troll.

That's a troll that's fucking, that's king troll.

That is a king troll that deserves fucking all the gold.

If that dude was like, hey, it would please me to have my sack on your cheek,

then it would please me too.

Because that baby unit of shit was awesome.

I got a buddy of mine that lives out in L.A., and he, when he moved out there, he was the most liberal motherfucker ever.

over the top, like it, right?

Now he's like, I can't stand these fucking people.

He's like, I can't.

He's like, he said to me the other day,

and he was the guy that was screaming about Trump three years ago.

He's like, I'll tell people I like Trump now just to watch him get upset.

He said that to me.

He's like, everybody's just so worked up.

Everybody's like too crazy about it.

You know, who really came down on Baby Yoda and

made me remember why I fell in in love with him, Sunday Jeff.

Sunday Jeff hates baby Yoda?

Well, he doesn't hate it, but we were in the car, we were coming back from somewhere, and the subject came up, and it was mixed company.

So he doesn't know that

he may say something about baby Yoda and offend somebody in the car.

God forbid.

Who the fuck was in the car with you?

Literally, the last thing anyone could possibly say is a derogatory remark about Baby Yoda.

Well, This is why I loved the man because

I just brought up Baby Yoda and he kind of went off on it and never once thought about the fallout of the people in the car that may be like, okay, well, that's my last fucking association with Sunday Jeff after this.

But he was like, I'm sick of it.

It's fucking stupid.

It's corny.

And I'm tired of the cutesy bullshit.

And that was it.

And I just looked at him.

I was just like, damn.

Did these people?

You're like, you know, I thought Brian would fall out on Torquatero.

Never been proud Sunday Jeffrey.

Fucking no spin zone on this car.

Eat your heart up, Bill Right.

I was waiting in the car.

I was real quiet.

The car was completely silent for about five seconds.

And then Giddam finally said something to change the subject.

Giddam was a tactful one.

You want to know another bad thing about Galt?

Yes, if it means not talking shit about baby Yoda.

Did he experience any fallout?

Was there anything said?

I have no idea.

The person,

I don't want to say who it was because I'm sure he listens.

But he was real quiet and real short after that.

It was really, like, I wondered if he was upset or annoyed about what Sonny Jeff said.

What did you say to when you saw him at work the next day?

Sonny Jeff?

No, the guy who got offended.

No, it wasn't Genem.

No, I didn't mean Genem.

I thought it would have been Mike.

No, no, it wasn't Mike.

It was somebody who doesn't work here.

It was.

Oh, okay.

Oh.

Oh, okay.

You didn't know what they said?

Yeah, yeah.

Yeah, I'm not sure.

Really?

I don't know.

I'm just speculating.

He just got real quiet.

He just didn't want to talk.

The subject changed, and he never fucking tagged onto the conversation.

No comment whatsoever.

So I wondered if I was like, uh-oh.

wow it just got real fucking chilly

it got real chilly in the car

who who knew that like that could be it's 2020 though you're right it's 2020

it's 2020 who knows who's touching about what

because you know what because it's not coming from just some fucking blowhole it's coming from Sunday Jeff a Star Wars

a man who is in love with Star Wars more than any man on the face of the earth and now he's saying this what doesn't he like about baby yoda I just told you.

He's tired of the cutesy bullshit.

It doesn't move the story along, and he's just fucking sick of fucking everybody fawning over it.

It is the story.

What do you mean?

It doesn't put the story.

It's the story.

How does it not move the story along?

The story for him didn't move along at a quick enough pace.

He's either drawing it out enough already.

Fucking give us, tell us the answers to what's going on, or fucking, don't make me sit here and watch fucking 12 hours.

I still don't know what's going on.

How much of that 12 hours is Baby Yoda?

Is he like Chris Wall?

Friswell, it's eight half-hour episodes.

It takes Sunday, chapter 12 to get through eight hours.

I understand that.

It's an odd thing to hate.

You know what?

I'm painting a picture that may be inaccurate, that he hates it.

I just think he's annoyed by it, and he hates.

There could be something of more substance going on, he thinks.

Like, he doesn't like that they're garnering brownie points with the Star Wars community by putting this cutesy fucking Muppet up there.

But why?

Because he's old school, bro.

Old school was cutesy fucking Muppets.

What is he talking about?

Did he...

What does he think Chewbacca?

He didn't like the Muppet, so he thinks the Ewoks were the death of Star Wars.

That was the beginning of the death, the slow death.

And nothing has been fucking right with Star Wars since the Ewoks.

And he's claiming that Baby Yoda is the final nail?

Well, not the final.

Look, I don't want to say he was that hateful or that fucking judgmental, but he just said what was on his heart.

You can't fault him for that.

He just said he's tired of it.

He's tired of the cutesy bullshit.

Just fucking don't draw it out that long.

Give us an answer at the end of the fucking season, at least, what it was.

And he was annoyed.

And he, and I, you know, I never had more respect for the man than I did at that moment.

He went out on a limb.

I mean, he didn't know what that fourth guy might think in the car.

His very controversial views of him.

He didn't even know he was doing it, though.

That's what he was so fucking ignorant.

He still doesn't know.

You know, at the end of the night, when he shook that guy's hand,

he had no idea that he that how

that person felt.

He had no idea that he could have fucking just ruined that fucking relationship.

Yeah, but I'm just saying, I like that sometimes it's good to be ignorant in the room because then you can say something, you know, without having to worry about the fallout.

It depends on what the room is and what you're saying.

It could be the death of you.

You're right.

You're right.

Yeah, I take that back.

If you're in a Black Panthers meeting, what you ignorantly say could be way different than in a car with three other nerds talking shit about baby yoga.

Tell him, Steve, Dave.

Yeah.

Oh, wait a minute.

How do you feel?

Oh, I feel pretty good.

Oh, yeah, the voice does sound good, right?

No, you talk about my mood.

Your mood.

Remember what you said at the end of the episode.

Are we still recording?

Yeah, we're still recording.

I feel pretty good.

I do.

I feel better.

You feel better?

I do.

It's fuck.

It's for what ails you, this TSD.

It is.

I guess it is for what ails me.