#428: It’s over, Johnson! It’s over!

I mean, Mike's Absolute's been playing chess the whole time.

Yeah, checkers.

Fucking checkers, everybody.

I believe it was a Machiavellian plan to emasculate me in front of Mary Beth.

That's the Johnson Erowin loves.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Except like.

Tell him Steve Dave.

Hello, and welcome to this week's edition of Tell Him Steve Dave.

I'm here with Walt and

not exactly a fully human cue.

No more RoboQ.

You're not traveling with your little iPad anymore.

No,

I can speak again in

short doses.

Little, short, little durations.

Yeah, about 15, 10, 15 minutes an hour.

All right.

So it's got to be sparing, Walt.

Every word that comes out of my mouth will be a gem.

It'll be a golden.

Has to be.

You got to pick your spots.

If you're going to speak, speak, it better be a home run.

Exactly correct.

Exactly correct.

I mean, you can hear it's still got a little bit of the raspiness, but that's

a little

weak.

Not weak in a bad way, just like it's not like effeminate?

No, no.

It's just not as strong.

Yeah.

It definitely sounds like you're intentionally guarded.

Have to be guarded.

And also, my vocal cords are still swollen from the surgery.

Probably another few weeks on that.

But

when I got to speak for the first time and I heard my voice as it was before, the two years of raspiness,

I felt like a young man.

Like one of those kids you see in videos where they're hearing for the first time.

Yeah.

And we do, yeah.

And we do these

conference calls

constantly about the TV show and everything like that.

And every time I spoke, nobody knew it was me because they were so used to my old.

Oh, really?

Yeah, yeah.

This is pretty funny.

Was that one of the IJ kids' sons?

Jude Jr.

Now, is the doctor going to, like, when is it where you could just, like, like, really, like, if let's say you went to like a sporting event and you wanted to, like, boo the ref or something,

and you want to scream at the top of your lungs, when could you do that?

You're looking at next year.

Next year before you could scream.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah.

So what are, what about other things that you would do at your mouth?

Like, what about like

you know, anything like

no restrictions, no restrictions on that, though?

Suck as many penises as I want.

I'm like, no restrictions, huh?

No, no, because they get two different pipes, they you know, they work with the

two different pipes,

sometimes four different pipes, but the doctors and the anesthesiologists

four pipes going at once.

What are their answers if you really support a team in the Super Bowl this year?

What if it's your team or your friend's team?

You got to make sure you're...

I think that they would say, yeah, this year, maybe not watch the game because I'll get too excited and scream.

Do you think you'll ever, like, after being so guarded and so

aware of not raising your voice, do you think you'll have a hard time ever raising your voice ever again to those levels to ever get back to

getting that angry or that emotional about something?

I'm pretty sure I'll be able to get there.

Summon it up.

Yeah.

I'll try and stop it at some point.

But yeah, no, it's good.

It's good to be.

Thanksgiving was a little tough because we can only speak for 10 minutes an hour.

What'd you do?

Where'd you go?

I went to my mom's.

My whole family was there, so it was a little difficult.

Gotcha.

But difficult being a sliding scale.

See, I would have thought your dad had that surgery and just told everyone, like, I'm never going to recover.

Yeah.

Yeah.

But it's good.

It's nice.

What did you do for Thanksgiving?

Well, did you go out or did you stay open?

I went out.

I

went out to eat.

You know, I just with the brother-in-law, my mother-in-law.

It's very simple, close to home.

We were back by like seven.

Anywhere good?

Here we go.

Juliens.

No, they say Julahans.

There's really nothing else open.

Is Hula Hens the place?

Well, it was only by

elimination of either the places that were open didn't have any room for us because we waited too long or every other place we wanted to go to was closed.

So it was just like, oh.

Wasn't it Pizza Hut in Walmart last year or something like that?

No, I did go to a Pizza Hut after during Black Friday.

Not during Thanksgiving.

But Black Friday began after Thanksgiving dinner now on a Thursday night.

So uneventful.

You went out?

This year?

Yeah.

Yeah.

I went out to

Hoolahins.

No, no, no.

Not to eat.

I mean to shop for Black Friday.

Oh, for Black Friday.

This year, I didn't go out for Black Friday this year.

No.

Okay.

There was nothing I was.

There was no doorbusters.

There was nothing that excited me.

I don't understand Black Friday anymore.

Like,

unless it's a doorbuster, unless you're getting a TV for $3 and chancing your life.

Isn't this shit just as cheap on Amazon or something?

I just got a feeling that in this day and age, that like in the, especially when you're trying to get everybody's dollar, it's like

everybody's doing it.

You don't need to go out at like two o'clock in the morning.

You can wake up on Friday

at the normal time and just log on and get it somewhere.

Well, it was very cut and dry back in the day where it's like, okay, it's Black Friday.

Line up as long as you want, but here's the time the store opens.

And that was on Friday.

And now it's Thursday or Thursday morning or maybe Wednesday, you know?

So it's like there is no real Black Friday anymore.

Right.

And I don't mind that they open it a little earlier.

I I think it's good for people who are like, God damn it.

I want to get out of this fucking house.

I can't stand it.

Everybody's family over.

And you can use that as an excuse to be like, I got to get this door buster.

This doorbuster's waving.

I don't get it.

Now I'll never get it.

I'm sorry, Uncle Dave.

I got to go.

That's my nickname around the house.

Doorbuster.

Oh, wow.

All right.

I told you guys earlier I have to, this may take a little while.

I have to get some advice from you

because

I've

for a long time I've some people call me a bully, ridiculed people, made fun of them to make other people laugh.

And now the Mike?

The chickens may be coming home to roost.

They may be coming home to roost, especially one of them.

A real cock.

Oh, this has something to do with those guys?

Yeah.

Oh,

I thought for sure that you wanted us, we were going to play was about something that happened on Thanksgiving at your house.

Oh, no, no, no.

Thanksgiving,

I went up to Vernon.

There's this place that

has a pool.

Yeah.

Yeah, has a pool?

No, I did not.

Skiing doesn't open anything until after Thanksgiving, anyway.

No, they have like a pool and a hot tub and shit, and Sage likes to swim, so we went up there, but left early because she was bad.

Left a day early.

She got punished.

Wow, she was that

misbehaving that you were like, we have to cut the shit, we have to cut the trip short.

It was,

it's ongoing, this lying.

Like she lies about shit, little things, like, but it's usually the same thing.

Like, I'll be like, in the shower, did you wash your hair?

Did you condition your hair?

And she always says, yes, but she hasn't.

And she knows goddamn well what she's doing.

She's just lazy.

She doesn't feel like doing it like every other fucking little kid.

Because she's 13, but she's not really 13.

So I asked her, I guess this would have been Friday.

I said, hey, when what's your out of the shower?

I said, did you condition your hair?

And she's like, yeah.

And I said, let me see it.

Let me see the hair.

And I could tell it's all ratty and shit.

And then I looked into the shower and the little bottle of conditioner is there unused.

I said, that's it.

We're going.

Come on.

I said, pack your stuff.

I said, I told you the last time.

If you lied, you're going to be in trouble.

I said, now this is it.

Now we're leaving.

So we left.

And I felt awful doing it.

But I did happen to know that the pool was like kind of cold because one of the heaters broke.

So it's not like she would have been able to go in anyway.

But I told her, uh, we stopped for lunch on the way back, and she signed a contract because I told her, also, in addition to the pool, I was like, you can't use your iPad or TV for the rest of the day.

But then when we got to lunch, she signed a contract that if

she doesn't lie anymore, she can skate on the iPad and TV.

But if she does lie,

a week of no iPad or TV.

That's big because she uses that shit a lot.

Have been throwing around that

threat.

We're leaving our vacation early if you don't do or if you don't behave.

And I mean, I don't know.

I've never heard of anybody ever following through on it.

I've heard of one other person, and

if it's true, I feel like you may have, you would have already heard this story.

But I heard Joe Grasso one time

was so mad on a vacation, a family vacation, heading somewhere that he was like, that's it.

And like, they didn't even get there.

Turned around.

Well, I wasn't there.

Right.

But I know I heard that story about it.

That's impressive, though, that you stuck to it.

You think it'll have dividends?

I think so far, so good.

That's good.

You know, little gentle reminders here and there.

Hair's been conditioned.

Because it's like, ultimately, I'm like, and I tell her, I'm like, look, do you want to be the smelly kid in class?

I was like, you don't.

You definitely don't.

And she's so

romantic that I'm like, boys aren't going to want to go near a girl who's like ratty-ass hair and stuff.

You know?

So, I don't know.

That was it.

A little bit of a blow-up.

Wouldn't it be Thanksgiving or any other holiday without one?

So you chose to not spend it with Pam or Rector?

Well, they were out in California.

They went out to Eric's.

Oh, okay.

Sounds like it was a nice Thanksgiving until the.

It was decent until then.

Until the.

Until Sage ruined it.

Yeah, Sage ruined everything for everyone.

A reminder still.

No, so

a couple things happened where I do think Mike may be

attempting to dismantle my life.

Wow.

Because he has gone on record and called you a bully?

No.

But people do say that I have bullied he and Ming in the past.

People very close to me.

Well, we're not.

People that I say, shut up and go to sleep.

We're not doubting that, are we?

I mean,

surely you deserve whatever's coming your way.

You cannot feel victimized if they go back at you in any way, shape, or form.

I mean, they have carte blanche to do anything they want to you.

But here's the problem.

I mean, bud, I love you.

I mean,

they could drain your bank account.

They could drain something.

I mean, they could do anything at this point, and you still would have the upper hand after all the shit you've said and all the jokes you've cracked.

Yeah, well, it affects my friends, though.

It spills over to affect you guys.

Well, no, it's not just.

You've got to stop now.

Yeah, I was like, well, that's a different story.

I've never been anything but great to those guys.

Yeah, I agree.

You never say that kind of stuff about them.

I never badmouth those guys.

And you, well, on comic book, man.

I don't agree with you on that, though.

I think he's remained

pretty much like fluid.

Yeah, there's no reason.

I like those guys.

You don't put a stop to it.

And

you won't stand up and be like, you know, enough's enough.

No, I'm definitely watching.

It's not the Norma Ray of Steve Dave.

I'm watching them drag my Jewish neighbors out of their house, going, All right, man, as long as it ain't me, without a doubt.

I mean, I have gone on record, though.

I mean, I want to, my own order, but I've gone on record and said that you've gone too far, and then, like, this is not cool.

You really should knock that off.

And even on comic book, Ben, you did try to not laugh.

Yeah,

tried it, right?

There was a couple times I successfully.

Well, that's when when they were telling jokes.

But anyway,

this affects you guys, and it's a concern because

this is public.

I'm very curious how it affects me.

Okay.

I'm really, really curious how this is going to affect me.

I'm surprised you're not aware of it already.

It could have like

the after effect.

The after effects.

It's like when the second shoe hasn't dropped yet, you're saying.

I don't think so.

That's the first shoe?

I think.

And then the pants.

Come on.

Dude,

that was your first opportunity to get into the middle.

I got to watch my throat.

20-minute mark.

Yeah, it was like, oh, I would have, but at the fifth minute, Mark, and I can't speak anymore.

I seem to lose that voice when

Mike and Ming.

Yeah, so

the Mike and Ming show, everybody loves it.

Everybody's...

Mike and Ming Show is back.

It was like Family Guy.

It was on hiatus for

fuck.

It seemed like a couple of years, yeah.

Yeah, it was a very long time.

And I'm not sure if it's like an ISIL Comics Mike and Ming show.

It's under the Mike and Ming banner, so everybody got real excited when it came out.

Me especially, because, you know, a fan.

Yeah.

So imagine...

My shock and horror when I'm listening to this show.

It occurred to me, I mean, Mike's been playing chess the whole time.

Yeah, checkers.

Fucking checkers over here.

You're going to see what happened.

All right.

How did you dug?

Why did you.

You were listening to this?

Yeah.

Thinking I'll keep up to date on Mike and May.

Just downloaded it one day?

Just download it?

Listening?

Someone brought it to his attention.

There was somebody out there who was listening to it.

TSD Brittany

had to

alert him of this flight.

Yeah, well, I'm just curious to see what you guys think once you hear it, because I'm not the only one.

Okay.

This is like making haystyle, all right?

No, it's Chris's sponsor, though.

No, he's not.

No, so we may have to get flood insurance from or water damage insurance from SB Financial NJ.com.

If you need flood insurance, oh my God, now we're starting to sound like actual DJs.

I wouldn't worry about that, boys.

I don't think so.

I think they're okay.

He sounds concerned, and I just wanted to, like, you know, assuage his fears.

I thought for, you know, not opening on the slight,

you know, setting a bad, you're getting off on the wrong foot here.

No.

It's like you're attempting to start off where you can throw a jab immediately by not starting with what caused your, what raised your dander.

So since he's not here and can't counter it, I'm just sort of selectively taking things and using them to my advantage.

Sounds like it.

You know,

he should be here.

Yeah.

Do you want to use this, get him asking?

No, this will be okay.

Yeah, it sounds fine.

Thanks.

Thank you, Giddam.

All right.

So that's, you know.

The rest is about us.

Like last week.

Oh, week, so it's relatively recent.

It's pretty new.

Very recent.

Okay.

If you need for all your flood insurance,

it's starting to sound like is our friends over at Telham, Steve Dave.

Have you listened to one of their episodes lately?

It's ads constantly.

Ads constantly.

Is it?

I didn't think so.

We have our fair share of ads, though, but what's wrong with that?

Yeah, but.

Well, you'll find out.

But the ads that we do are, we could do them in 30 seconds, but we make a choice to make them as entertaining or try to make them as entertaining as the rest of the show.

I feel the same way.

We make a choice to do it the way we do it.

Yeah.

We've even.

But this is, hey, maybe this is just him offering constructive criticism, and he's like, it's awkward when you tell somebody, like, hey, what you're doing, you should do it better like we do.

Right.

You know, he wants to say that to you, so, but can't, it's awkward.

So he's going to say it through.

He assumes you listen.

We've lost money and lost

people at the altar of making them entertaining for the audience to listen to.

So I don't know if Ming is understanding that.

Like, is he saying, tell them, see, Dave sold out?

I'm not going to argue that.

I mean, to just say that then.

I don't know if we sold out.

When you're fucking doing an ad for a couch company

and you start talking about

Hitler and Jeffrey Bozos.

That sounds to me like the opposite of selling out.

Just incorrect it.

I guess I was just talking about myself.

But I think on a certain level, like, I was thinking about selling out a couple days ago.

Yeah.

Like, I wish I could do it.

But I think it's not up to the person who

like it's not up to Ming to say we're selling out.

It's up to us to say we're selling out because everyone has their own personal level of selling out.

But isn't fans who are like, yeah, they sold out, they did this, they sold out.

He definitely is entitled to his opinion.

Oh, he absolutely is.

But I'm not sure I agree that, like, let's say I'm a fan of...

you know, I'm a fan of Impractical Jokers, and I'm like, they've sold out because of X

and you're like no I was always prepared to do X

if I do Y or Z then I sold out so it's like they don't even know what your personal level is let me give you an example though because I cannot believe some of the things I'm seeing come down the pike for this band Metallica right pox

fucking jigsaw puzzles

storybooks.

I'm just like, this is the fucking band that was fucking that ruled the fucking world and was the next one.

That we named our bowling team after.

I mean, man, that to me,

it's very, very hard for me not to go like, they fucking sold out.

Now, I understand why you would sell out at this point in the game because it's 2019 and everyone's taking your shit for free anyway.

Right.

So I get it.

You try to recoup anywhere.

If we don't make these jigsaw puzzles, someone will.

We need that money.

I get it, though.

But it's hard to say you haven't sold out when you're fucking hawking jigsaw puzzles, Joe.

it is strange yeah um but when you're metallic god knows how much they got for it and you're like

you're like

but if you asked a metallic like ask us 10 years ago do you think you would do this who knows ask metallica when they first started hey do you think someday you guys would sell jigsaw puzzles of yourself there's no way 18 year old hetfield is like he's breaking a whiskey bottle over somebody's head to even ask him you know right

so maybe it changes too like your level of what selling out is yeah but it's you that's the game, though.

If you're trying to remain the same person you were when you started.

It's more

like fan base is trying to hold you to.

I don't think it's possible.

There's certain things that are going on.

I think some have done it.

Some have achieved it, though.

Who?

Off the top of my head right now.

Tom Brady.

I was talking about like somebody on like,

I don't know.

Did Zeppelin sell out?

No, I don't think they got a chance to, right?

They walked away when they could have got a different drummer, and they didn't, you know, they don't put out crazy mercs, do they?

Endless reissues, but I don't, I wouldn't say that's selling out.

Do they own the publishing rights even?

Like, that's all the other thing.

Like, who knows who even owns the music?

I think a fan base is always going to look at you and want you to remain that same person you were when they discovered you.

And I think that's just natural, though.

Yeah, like Ozzy did, Ozzy recently did a song with some rapper, some famous rapper at the Grammys or whatever.

And I wonder, like, I'm sure a lot of people are like, you know, old Ozzy never would have done that.

But it's like, what if he just wanted to try it?

What if he's like, he heard the rapper and say, I like that.

And the guy's like, hey, you're Ozzy, I want to rap with you.

Maybe just wanted.

Just wanted to do it.

Again, blew his own head off.

Like, you don't get a chance.

No.

He never sold out.

So, all right.

Well, a little constructive criticism from Ming Chen.

He thinks we have too many ads.

Is it really?

Yeah, remember how they used to complain about other podcasts?

I don't recall that.

Other podcasts having too many ads?

Yeah, I don't listen to any other podcasts.

I don't know if I've ever listened to a podcast in my life.

I listen to podcasts all the time, and there are ads where, like, there's a couple that it's a pre-recorded ad for like 60 to 90 seconds.

And you know what I do?

I hit fast forward 30 seconds three times.

And I move on.

Or did you just think about something else?

It just wouldn't occur to me to complain.

That's funny.

But anyway,

there's a lot of fake news, and some of it is going to start affecting you guys a little bit more.

Oh my boy.

Well, they complain if they complain.

There's nothing that Brian does not complain about.

Even when he's getting paid, especially when he's getting paid for it.

Either they disparage an advertiser so much, like the advertiser complained and pulled out.

Or I think the advertiser's like, whoa, whoa, you guys got to back off on us.

This isn't cool.

Okay.

So, no.

The way it went was the advertiser did not care for the ad in the beginning.

It was something offensive.

So I went back and did a super condescending ad,

which is basically doing

the opposite of selling out.

It's pretty punk rock.

Being like, you know what?

You want to be a fucking asshole about it?

And here's your fucking precious ad.

I don't feel that selling out.

My main issue with...

It was dumb.

I agree to that.

I should have just sold out in the moment.

Right.

It cost us a lot.

But my issue with what's going on here is just like they haven't described to anybody what tell them steve dave is who we are

and any any of what our history would be compared to what it is they're just assuming that everybody who's listening to it listens to tell him steve dave i think that's the only thing they got right in this little clip

fair point continue

the the the slings and arrows especially from like zapsic start coming fast and furious i'm going to keep defending defending them, though.

Okay.

I think they do need an advocate, so

this is good.

Knowing how difficult it is to

make content,

at some point,

you're just searching for something to talk about.

So this is probably what just happened here.

They're constantly on the make to make content.

They got to make more content, make more content, make more content.

No, they don't.

Nobody's asking them to do that.

Who says?

It's not a law.

So now,

you know, they latch into something that they know.

You know, they could talk about it with some level of expertise.

And people will hear it and be interested.

Right.

Maybe, possibly.

But, I mean, again,

we've done it in the past.

We've talked about ISO Comics.

We've talked about those guys.

We've created content off their backs.

Right.

And cleaned certain fluids off them, too.

As friends, they were drunk and we wanted to.

Anytime, Q, you could go.

You could tell them that that

that's a low blow.

We got a long show ahead of us.

I want to make sure my voice is okay.

A little bit more here.

Let's go.

Well, they did that with a bunch of stuff, like Adam and Eve.

Yeah, Nature Box.

Nature Box.

Yeah, they call it Nature Box, if you don't know, is like a box delivery service with healthy food in it.

I think Walt said it was food for douchebags.

He said that in an ad for them.

So

I'm not sure what their point is there.

I think that we mock advertisers, right?

Were they stating a fact or were they?

I don't know.

Are they saying we're stupid for doing it this way?

He's amused.

Mike's laughing.

Mike's laughing, yeah.

I think it sounded like he was like, that's funny.

He was,

that's like, I think our listener base was when they heard it.

Right.

A collective guffaw

at our expense.

No.

No.

No?

No.

Who cares?

Those guys were

at us.

No.

Not Mike.

Mike seemed to legitimately laugh at it because he thought

it was humorous.

Well, it's going to start getting a little ugly.

We love our sponsors, though.

Sasha Maria, thank you for supporting us.

Ross Brewery.

We love Ross.

Tom has also written us a check.

Yes.

Blue Juice Comics, who have been with us from the beginning.

Right.

So Weela and Tom.

Tom, get that check in the mail.

Blue Juice is still advertising with them.

I think they're looking around at their walls, grasping for, like, who else can we say?

We've already got Sasha Maria.

Nobody knows who the fuck she is.

Ross Brewing.

Well, hmm.

What did they give us?

Okay, they gave us a six-pack chat.

I think it's kind of odd, too, because I have

RH Pierre.

Right.

So.

Oh, they're all over Instagram, guest bartending down at the Ross Brewery.

Well, now I'm like...

A competitor.

Well, that's like me

doing an ad for another podcast studio.

Sure.

Or

booking time at a...

So you wouldn't if someone paid you?

No no, no, that's not, that's, that's not what he's, that's not what he's saying.

No, I wouldn't, I wouldn't support a you think that if a s a a podcast studio opened up Jack's music and paid us to do an ad, that we would do it?

I don't think we'd do it.

Um no, I agree with that.

But like, so you like you wouldn't just like

I don't know, yeah, I guess you're right.

Yeah, I definitely wouldn't.

So he so they're doing ads for

a dir a direct

competitor for your beer company?

Yeah, with never even a mention of R ⁇ H beer.

And he was there.

He was invited to the kickoff party.

Yeah, and he came.

He was just gathering evidence.

Maybe, maybe.

Maybe he just got to meet or exceed whatever

your company's paying him.

I'm just saying Mayton can do whatever he wants.

Maybe could do whatever he wants.

I'm just saying I wouldn't, as a friend, advertise.

These guys, I mean, but you know what?

That being said, the guy Russbury is super nice.

Like, I like him.

It's good beer, too.

These guys need it.

These guys need all the sponsors they can get, though.

I mean, I

don't know.

No,

I agree.

They probably

should take it because ultimately it's not really going to matter at all.

Except, I don't know, whatever they get.

They'll get whatever they get.

But,

you know, I don't think somebody's going to be like, hmm, a Ross Brewery or an RH.

Like, they're not going to ever have to make that decision.

Why?

Because

RH will be everywhere.

This beer will be in Mike and Hing's office.

But it might be in like a

local bar.

Somebody moses up and they see two things and they're like, oh, Mike and Ming talked about that raw sprurry.

Let me try that.

Well, how about

I put

my warm-up jacket on?

I get

my sunglasses, got my IROC, and I'll go start visiting local bars and be like, you carry RH.

And RH is what you carry.

And if you carry this raw shit,

you're going to break some kneecaps.

I'm going to break kneecaps.

We're getting a New Jersey license within the next month, so.

So then Ming can't advertise anymore.

He's going to have to have this very difficult conversation with this Ross Brewery guy.

All right.

So

how much?

I'm going to start sponsoring and tell him Steve Dave.

You're going to?

Yeah.

RNH is going to start sponsoring and tell him, Steve Dave.

All right.

Oh, yeah.

Hey, how about that?

Can we give it the same treatment we give Burrow?

Where you put your foot down in?

My voice will be fine that day.

So they enjoy that we made fun of Nature Box and Adam and Eve and all that stuff, I guess.

I took it as like that he thought that we lost them as advertisers for making fun of them.

Well, we have lost advertisers.

But no, we haven't lost them.

No advertiser, aside from apparently Miundi's, Casper,

and Casper, like stay with podcasts forever.

Like, it's been years and years.

But we've actually definitely lost accounts, like Sherry's Berry's.

We lost Sherry's Berry's and Burrow.

Those are the two we lost.

Other than that, we've never done anything that made a sponsor walk away.

Okay.

Yeah.

Yeah.

And more to come.

If you want to sponsor us, if you want sponsors that won't disparage you, that love your product.

Sponsies, not sponsors.

Sport your product.

Sponse.

That use your product.

Come to us.

Yeah, come to us.

A shared universe.

Not only do you get a shared universe, you get the Ming and Mike show.

Here's what I got Michael Tina.

I sell comics.

You get me and Mike.

You're killing me because this is because Brian's always, always bitching about us, like riding their coattails.

He said that I'm always bitching about them riding our coattails.

My hand to God may Sage be struck dead this moment.

I have never, ever, ever

even made a joke about them riding coattails.

Ever.

Maybe you've said something that he's interpreted as that.

Or maybe it's fucking obvious, but I've never said it.

Comments like that, for instance.

No, no, no.

I'm just kidding.

I literally have never said that.

I would never be that arrogant.

Like, I wouldn't say something like that.

And I don't feel that way.

And if they are, they've done a fucking piss-poor job of it.

But this is where, Q,

you may consider legal action because this is all about you.

Oh, I think I know what this is.

Something stolen?

No.

No.

Okay.

Keep going.

That was the term.

And I mean, I'm fine with that.

And me too.

I'm like, I'll ride you.

Hey, look,

Brian, you've been riding Kevin's coattails for years, and now you're like trying to sachet over onto Brian Quinn's.

I mean,

is that where the fucking, like, the jab got too real?

It's actually, I know what I'm fucking doing.

I'm going to fucking download this.

I'm not making haystyle.

Well, let me tell you, it didn't hurt once I heard this, but the second part actually happened first, which made me kind of annoyed with Mike.

And then when I heard this, I was like, well, obviously I got to cut it up and point out these things.

But that, okay, so he said that, Mike said that it's funny coming from me since I ride Kevin's coattails and I've sached over to Q's.

But how?

Well,

that's not the point.

The point is, he stole that joke from you.

You made that joke about me at your roast.

Oh, that's right.

That's stolen, plagiarized material.

Yeah.

And I don't know if you want to talk legality or, you know,

maybe just like a cease and desist that they can't start using all your jokes.

I mean, I could send a letter.

I mean, maybe if they did some RH commercials or something, they could work it off.

I don't know.

Well, they would, no, not even a commercial because, come on, you need them as your pitchman.

All they have to do is publicly shun Ross Brewery.

Oh, man.

If they do that, then

like I said, they're very nice at Ross you.

Yeah, that is.

He did steal that from me.

100% steal off.

Wow.

That was the thing that I was just like, first off,

it doesn't matter me what he says.

I don't care.

But when I heard that, I was like, is he seriously going to steal a joke?

Do you believe that he doesn't care?

I believe he doesn't care.

Yeah, I honestly do not care.

You wouldn't have to do this if you didn't care.

No, I

hope you guys.

How many hours did you put it to

less than 15 minutes?

It's really short.

There's only one other tiny little part.

We'll get to that right now.

So he acknowledges it right there.

That's the end of it.

He acknowledges that he gave me a dig,

and I don't know what to do about it.

See,

I've always told you

the best revenge for you is when you go in and nobody knows

that you were stung.

Like you had one today I saw that Giddam showed me on Twitter that just was so innocent and so

there's no vinegar in it for anybody who else is

reading it, but Mike mentioned something about somebody compared him to Princess Leia and Mike went on to talk about how like you know that this person thought that they were insulting him by being Princess Leia and he was like Princess Leia was had more balls than Luke Skywalker and Hans Solo and Mike was like like really going off like you could tell he was upset by this.

He's like, I'm proud to be like Princess Leia.

And then Fry says

wasn't it?

That's what we were text saying,

what would you say?

Oh, it's like, she also made out with her brother.

And there's like, that is where, like, you, you, you, that's all you got to do.

That's the, that's the Tyson.

This, yeah, this is.

He came back at me right away.

I didn't quite even understand what he said.

I think he was saying, like, I lived in Highlands, so I should have gotten a varsity letter for making out with my brother.

It took me a second, but I'm like, oh, okay.

Yeah.

A little punctuation.

you know

but look yeah go ahead i'm sorry well i just i also want to question the logic and i'm a fan of princess laya but how does she have more balls than han and luke put together uh i mean i would have to see the uh i would have to see which i'll pull it up and uh like what is the argument there because i don't think she was a ballsy lady i think she was extremely ballsy but more than you could say equal and i'd be like sure but I mean, she was fucking on Yavin looking at that screen while fucking Luke was in the trench and Han was pulling his ass out of the fire.

She was

in the garbage too, though, the garbage pit.

Yeah, they were rescuing her from fucking her boss.

Hey, you know what?

She fucking, she killed Jabo out there, helped.

You bet she sure did.

That was one of Mike's points.

Yeah, I agree.

I just remember what you were doing.

I'm not saying, yeah, she had to get rescued again by Luke.

That is true.

But what I'm saying is, I agree that she is as ballsy, but to make the statement that she's more ballsy, I don't.

I didn't even think about that.

Yeah, like,

okay, so this is constantly having to rescue her.

Why did he even send her in as Boshi?

I don't know.

Why did he even do that?

Did she do that without him?

His knowledge or things?

I don't think so.

I think Luke was like, Go ahead, dress up as Boshi.

I'll be like, What's the plan?

And you handed Chewie to them.

Like, what is the plan?

That is funny.

So, first, somebody called Ming Neam Nub, and I guess that's what started the whole thing.

And then this guy, Flashback Generation, says, Does that make Johnson Akbar Waltz

Mon Mothma?

Isn't Mon Mothma an old woman?

Yeah, with the thing on her hair.

The red hair

goes without saying that Mike gets to be Leia.

Then Mike says, I know you meant it as an insult, but Leia had more balls than Luke and Han combined.

And she pretty much fucked up Job as Day with nothing but a bikini and a chain.

And then I said, and all caps, made out with her brother.

So dot,

that's the Johnson everyone loves.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Except Mike.

Yeah, yeah.

But that's the Johnson that I fell in love with.

That's the Johnson that I want to be around 20%.

That's America's sweetheart right there.

It's 2019.

So pretty much, yeah.

I finally qualified.

I'm telling you, that's the Johnson everyone wants to hear.

This is the second part, though.

He really.

This is the same show.

He got me because this is...

No, this is something totally separate.

There was a Sopranos con

up in Meadowlands.

It was like a little

thing.

He asked me if I wanted to go.

Like, yeah, he asked me too.

He texted me, and I said, absolutely.

Well, actually, he said there's a VIP party.

Do you want to go?

And I said, sure, that would be cool.

And he

said, okay.

Now, this would have been like Monday, I I think, and the party was on Friday.

So, I didn't hear, I said, hey, what's the information?

He said, well, I don't have it.

I'll get it.

So, he then

took a couple of days, and I think it was Wednesday

that I came here.

We came to record, and I asked him about it.

And it seemed like he did not know who called or

get any information from the guy,

but he would take care of it.

And then Thursday came, and I didn't hear from him.

And then Friday came and I didn't hear from him.

But like a couple weeks before that,

I was, I had something to do.

You and I did something.

And I had tickets for the Q, you and I did something

with a bunch of other people.

And I had tickets for a comedy show down here at Count Basie.

It was the Creeps with Kids, which I figured was not going to be your style comedy waltz, you and Deb.

So I thought, who else would like them?

Hey, I'll bet you Mike and Julie would like to go.

So I gave them the tickets.

It was like a couple of weeks before this party thing.

So,

like I said, Thursday came, Friday came, and I still hadn't heard from Mike.

He didn't contact me, but he's my friend, so I have to assume that if

anything were wrong or askew, he would let me know.

So I can probably just go to this party, right?

No.

I can't just show up to the VIP party?

Not at all.

How many days since you last spoke to him?

It would have been two days.

I

don't know.

I would have definitely been anxious if I didn't get.

You didn't get the confirmation.

You texted him, he didn't answer.

I didn't text him.

I figured he would just let me know eventually because I had asked him twice.

I texted him twice and I asked him once.

So you went to the party?

I went to the party.

With Mary Beth, looked beautiful, all dressed up.

I'm like, hey, I'm going to bring you to this fancy party.

Gonna look like the man.

We're going to a VIP party, Soprano's Con.

Mike Zapsic has set it up.

I never would have made that trip without getting confirmation that I was good to get in.

You would not have.

No.

Because I did go.

I did go.

I'm guessing you didn't get in.

Well, you know, we got to the table,

and

I asked if anybody there had spoken to Mike Zapsick, and it turned out they had not.

However,

I had met someone.

Now, I've known Mike a long time, right?

Like over 20 years.

Easily.

Friend, a large part of that time.

And then I met someone,

knew him less than 24 hours.

And this is the message that he sent me.

Hey, this is Federico.

This is for Brian Johnson and Maribeth.

You guys, I believe we're going to be coming tonight.

So if you come there, we're not there yet,

but if you come to the racetrack for the

Soprano Con party,

just tell them that you're my guests, Federico Castelluccio's guests.

All right?

Because I haven't gotten the chance to go there yet to give them this information.

But in case they give you any issues,

just say you're there for the Soprano Con kickoff party

and you're guests of Federico Castelluccio.

Okay?

Okay.

All right.

So that's my new buddy.

That's a pal.

That's my pal, who I had met, like I said, 24 hours earlier.

Who is it?

Is it somebody we should know?

That was Furio.

Furio went out of his way

to make that call.

Now,

I also have to add that.

He was awesome on that show.

Really good.

I was so certain.

He lives in the area.

He said he would come in if we wanted to talk to him.

Oh, yeah.

Yeah.

And a really interesting story about something I'll tell you later so I don't spoil it, but you guys will like it.

So, yeah.

So he went out of his way to call, leave the message.

And when I saw a 973 number come up, I didn't even pick it up because

I don't pick up numbers at all now.

So I didn't even know that was on there

until I got there when I gave him my name and he had put my name on the list and he was there.

Like, you know, when we walked in, he was there.

So he was able to

get us in.

But my friend Mike,

I believe it was a Machiavellian plan to emasculate me in front of Mary Beth.

Wow.

So I'm like, hey,

maybe he's not on TV anymore.

You know, he's on Amazon Prime.

So he's not like, you know, he's not at the top of his game, but he's still getting into a VIP party.

And then Mike's like, no, he's not.

Mike set it up so I can't get in.

Wow.

So I'm embarrassed in front of my new fiancé.

So

how did this guy know that you want to go to the party?

I did appreciate it.

That was good.

What's that?

How did this guy know you want to go to the party, Joe?

I met him 24 hours earlier.

We were just talking about.

Where did you meet him?

Yeah.

Compound media.

He was on Anthony's show.

To promote the con?

To promote the con.

Yeah,

I had done my show with E-Rock, and then they said that he was coming in.

So it was like another two hours.

So I just sat around and I was like, oh, I'll just, you know, we'll

watch it, maybe say, hey.

But then Anthony asked me to come on, so I was on the panel with him.

And then we talked a little bit afterwards, and he talked about the party and the soprano is coming the next day.

So he's a nice guy.

And I gave him my number, but never expecting, right?

Never expecting that he would hook it up, let alone call me and leave a message.

Very nice guy.

How was the party?

It was, you know, I'm not really good at stuff.

Like, I

like to sit in the corner and watch.

It was interesting, though.

like saw junior big pussy like you see all the people but i'm like i'm not gonna walk up to him and say hello or anything although uh marybeth got a picture you'll appreciate this walt uh got a picture taken with richie from king of queens first couple seasons he was like the annoying friend and then he sort of disappeared yeah he was he was uh he dated his sister Yes.

Yeah.

His sister was a talk show host.

Yeah.

But she was very excited.

She's like, I think that's Richie.

And I'm like,

richie who and she's like that guy on king of queens i was like oh yeah you're right and then yeah so we saw him saw a bunch of people and then it was just like all right we saw everybody lost 20 bucks on a horse race

i never been on a horse before

dead last i'm worse with horses and fucking technology um

so then after that was soprano's con the next day what's that like

uh it was all right it was interesting i'm like i don't know seems very limited in scope for an entire con it does but I mean, you have these, like, these cons that are solely dedicated to

a Harry Potter or something.

There were a lot of people there, not as many as I thought there may be for a Saturday.

And I'm looking at these people, these guests.

They had so many, and I'm like, how the fuck did they pay these guarantees?

Like, how did they pay for it?

Was there a dealer's room for merchandise?

There was a dealer's room, but there's not much Sopranos merchandise or is there a license.

Unless it's licensed, you can't just make that.

Unless there's more than I thought there was.

It was a lot of food, that kind of stuff.

There were, like, they had a maze setup that was kind of like the Pinelands.

But I was noticing there were a lot of things that took up floor space but didn't wouldn't generate income.

Did they do any

promotion for the movie they're doing right now or do a sneak peek?

Not that I saw.

They did have it, it was very difficult to hear.

They had like the

panel room.

It was in the main room, so it was very echoey and shit.

Did you ever find out why Mike

never called or never gave you the heads up?

No.

No.

Oh, that's right.

So he.

So, yeah, I've seen him several times.

He left you standing.

He never brought it up.

After telling you it was a done deal.

He said, the guy called.

Do you want to go?

I said, yes, absolutely.

Now, I thought maybe

since I don't like going to cons, he was saying it as a joke.

And then when I said yes, he's like, oh, shit.

Wow.

As opposed to just being like, oh, I was just fucking around because I know you don't like to go to cons.

We cosplayed.

Who are you?

Me and Marybeth.

No, who were you?

Oh, I was, uh, I was just like a random sort of, because nobody has facial hair.

Right.

So I can't really be anybody.

I did want to be the guy from the Vipers, you know, the motorcycle guys.

Remember, they were stealing the wine?

Right.

And then Christopher shot one.

Yeah, yeah.

I was going to be him.

And then Mary Beth was going to be Kelly.

Like, you see only a picture of her.

It's Deve Buscemi's daughter who was like the runaway.

That's obscure.

Yeah, it's real obscure, but I never got my vipers patched, so she was Adriana, and I was like, I did the poly walnut streak.

I have a picture.

I must have a picture of her.

Nice.

So we did that.

And then we went to Caraba's for a fine Italian meal afterwards.

You and her, or you and Mr.

Jurio?

Yeah, Mary Beth waited in the car.

But

just you and her went through there, or did some of the cast of Sopranos go there too?

Yeah, me, Uncle Jr.

No, just me and her.

And they were like, oh, by the way, you can't have any salad because of E.

coli scare.

I was like, all right, the spaghetti.

Did you see Banshee?

Did you watch Banshee, right?

I love Banshee.

It was the

first and only picture I've ever paid.

Oh, wow.

He's in a lot of stuff, that guy.

Yeah, he's in a ton of shit.

The guy who played Agent Dwight Harris.

Oh, yeah, yeah.

And I did want to talk to him, but I'm like, I don't want to be that annoying dickhead because I'm like, Agent Dwight Harris on the Sopranos, his life sort of went down, down, down as

the series went on.

And like, he'd never had a real resolution.

You know, it's like he was glad that Philly Leotardo got killed, and then that was it.

So I'm like, what happened after that for Agent Dwight Harris?

Because it could be anything.

Did you ask him?

I wanted to, but Mary Beth, fucked me.

Yeah,

maybe not.

Also, got our picture with Pyo Mai.

That was the other one.

A horse?

Yeah.

Because there were people around Pyomai, and I wanted them to see us taking a picture with a horse rather than that.

That's so funny.

Fucking horse.

Did you watch the series?

Well, did you watch the promise?

I watched the whole thing.

Okay.

Are you familiar with it?

I don't remember much of it, like the way you guys are going.

You guys

more than once.

I re-watched it like two years ago.

Nah, three years ago at this point.

Yeah, like my memory's hazy.

Like, I remember Tony.

There you go.

All right.

Sharp as ever.

Yeah, these fringe characters that you're bringing up, yeah, I would never remember they were in the show.

There was

there were so many guests, and I'm talking like fringe, like not quite Kelly and Viper guy level, but pretty close.

Like some of the guests were like,

I don't, I recall you barely.

There was one guy.

Oh, you're the guy you texted me about?

Do you remember when Melfie was raped?

In

the doctor, the stairwell.

And then everybody wanted

Tony to fucking...

Her to tell Tony.

Oh, yeah.

Yeah, viewers, you mean it.

Right.

Yeah, the Jesus Rossi guy.

That's his name, Employee of the Month.

He was there as a guest.

And I know he's not a real rapist,

but what an odd character.

Like, what an odd...

character to represent at the con, right?

Yeah.

I was just like,

I know he's an actor.

I know.

Everything you're going to say, I've thought, and logically, I totally agree with you.

But I'm like, you're a rapist.

Like, you played a horrific character.

And it's somehow different than if, like, he played a murderer.

It is.

Like,

I said to you when we were talking about it, he texted me that the guy was in.

I was like, I don't know.

I would want to punch him in the fucking face.

He's that good of an actor.

He is that good of an actor.

A testament to his skills.

Yeah.

I saw saw him because it was like, there were certain sections.

It's like you had your main section, which was not set up well because they had all the fucking heavy hitters right in a row.

So you're like, whose line is this?

It was not handled well.

And then you had a couple different sections with guys like that, like Georgie the bartender and Jesus the rapist and a couple other guys.

Was Artie Bucco there?

Artie was not there.

Charmaine was not there.

Adriana, I think, was supposed to be, but she wasn't there.

Those are the lines that I'd be like, no fucking way.

Like, I thought it'd be fun to get a picture with Paulie Walnuts, but I'm like,

nope.

Like, Brock had no line.

So.

Paulie Walnuts got to have the longest line, right?

He had a long one.

Long line Junior had a long line.

Junior, right?

Furio had a long line.

A couple of those guys.

Janice?

I didn't see Janice there.

Susan wasn't there.

Yeah.

She was real good.

The other sister was there.

Oh, really?

Yeah.

The second sister.

Yeah, the one that they barely mentioned.

Yeah.

I sea lined someone.

It was good, too.

It was real good.

What'd you do?

I'm really tired of

people who I don't know.

And people who I do know don't do it.

But people who I don't know feeling compelled to mention ZZ Top in my beard.

So, and

the only reason it annoys me is because I'm like, if that's immediately what you think, then that's going to be mostly everyone's go-to.

So, probably you're not the first person to say this to me.

And if you're not the first person to say it, then why the fuck are you bothering to say it?

Because it's not funny.

And I've heard it a million times.

My favorite was in London when that drunk guy called you Santa Claus.

I was so close.

Like, yeah, he did like and follow me down the street.

That was great.

Menacing you.

Oh, shit.

A strange foreign country.

It's dangerous.

Hey, Santa Claus.

I was so close.

Come back.

So the guy walks up and he's so happy to let me know

that I have a ZZ Top-esque beard.

And he makes the mistake of being like, oh, you ever hear a ZZ Top?

And I was like,

that he fucked up.

For the next 60 seconds, I had absolutely no idea who ZZ Top was, what kind of music they played.

Zero frame of reference for them.

And this guy was like, what the fuck?

Like, are you an idiot?

And I'm just like,

so what do they play?

Classical music?

Like, what do you mean?

I don't understand.

And he's like, no, rock, like the guys with the beards and the guitar.

He's like, going like this, like playing air guitar.

I'm like, dude, I'm sorry.

I wish.

They sound great, though.

And he walked away thinking like, I'm the biggest fucking moron.

And it was only afterwards that I was like, shit, from now on, if somebody says that and I'm able to like trick him into that, I'm going to tell him I've been in a coma and that's why my beard grew so long.

And I'm going to go totally rip Van Winkle on him.

Like there's so much I don't know.

And then like start asking real basic questions and shit.

That's funny.

Yeah.

I wish I had like,

I mean,

there's no way I would be just carrying a camera around, but if I had recorded that guy's reaction, it was exactly what you wanted.

What you wanted to be.

Exactly.

Yeah.

So I know this is probably going to upset the likes of a Ming Chen.

Oh, no.

Oh, she's not going to like it.

I feel a sellout moment coming up.

That's right.

It's a tell him Steve Dave sellout moment.

We'll get Jay Sarge to do something like that for us.

Yes, but look, if you're going to sell out, this is the kind of sponsor you want to sell out for.

Now, sure, it's no Blue Juice or Sasha Marie or any of these types.

But still, hey, we like them.

And we're talking about Casper boys.

We're talking about

heaven.

Who's been with us longer?

Casper and Miundis are they're definitely the two most loyal sponsors we've ever come across.

Yeah, no joke.

Like Myundi's, and that's the thing like Ming being like, we love our sponsors.

It's like, look, I'm wearing Myundi's right now.

This is an Ontucket shirt that I bought.

This is not a free shirt.

I bought it because I really like how soft they are.

So

we do love it.

Casper, I mean,

I wish i could just convey i mean how

truly

i backed this company in terms of like quality and uh we know when you don't back a company you're pretty vocal about it to a point where i'm like yeah we are gonna lose more sponsors

yeah but i i am so impressed

much more when you do then yeah i am just so impressed with this company i'm so impressed with their products i i have nothing but accolades and praise for casper And if you're on the fence, they got that 100-day guarantee where you can try it and then return it if you don't like it.

What have you got to lose?

Nothing.

You could sleep on a bed for 99 days and then turn around and be like, it's not for me.

And they'd be like, all right.

And what have you got to gain?

Maybe the most comfortable mattress you've ever slept upon.

And that's a lot to gain.

Now, try emptying a bottle of Ross brew and then getting your money back.

After 100 days,

that's not going to happen.

They're designed by humans for humans.

They mimic human curves, all of them, providing supportive comfort for all kinds of bodies.

If I was Casper, though, I might think about changing that up, though.

Say designed by another species

for humans, just to get people to go like, what?

It's designed by like...

Developed by an unidentified species, yeah.

Like it was created in the Casper labs.

What's an exotic species that you could say?

You were like, cue, this mattress that we're pushing, it's been designed by

insects.

Well, yeah, well, they studied like honeybees and shit, and basically honeybees designed the bed.

They're going to give the credit to the honeybees, not the engineer, because it's like some sort of honeycomb shit.

I try it.

You would be so impressed by it.

Well, I guess they don't want to lie either, though.

Castro's had it all figured out.

They should probably just stick to the truth.

Yeah, they're probably not going to add a honeybee talking point to their copy.

The original one combines multiple supportive memory foams.

Shit, you need that.

20,000 reviews, an average of 4.8 stars.

Can you imagine those 0.2 losers who just don't get it?

I wonder what our star rating is on iTunes Now.

I haven't looked in decades.

I think it's still five.

It's still a five.

It's still a five.

I think everybody still.

It's an old star, well, the gold five-star standard.

Oh, it would be nice if we could have a renewed wave of people giving us five stars.

Yeah, if you weren't around for the original.

Yeah.

Yeah, we got to have a new influx of ants and stuff, right?

I mean, can you go, Ants, and after you order the Casper, maybe go over to Heaven's iTunes and give us a five-star rating if you feel we've deserved it.

I mean, if you don't, well.

I mean, on a personal level, I would say go do the five stars.

And then if you're still interested in a mattress,

go ahead.

There's one thing that's definitely more important to me.

Five Five stars, baby.

Is it?

It's still five stars.

Still five stars.

It's fucking insane.

Five years in.

And the more people that go and do it now, the more difficult it will be to knock it down if some jerk-off is like, one star.

Oh, yeah.

Ho-ho.

How do you like a one star?

Fuck you, Comstick Dave.

Fuck Casper.

A fucking burrow.

Mike, hand me another Ross Bia.

Want to get drunk and forget that we only got a dollar from Sasha Marie.

All right, yeah, so they're affordable prices because Casper cuts out the middleman, sells directly to you.

It's hassle-free returns if you're not completely satisfied.

Delivered right to your door in a small, oh, how do you do that?

Sized box, free shipping and returns in the United States and Canada.

And you can be sure of your purchase with Casper's 100-night risk-free sleep-on-it trial.

Well, you talked about your personal experience, and this offer is only applicable to select mattress purchases, and terms and conditions apply.

Remember that.

Get $100,

$100 towards select mattresses by visiting casper.com slash TESD and using TESD at checkout.

Terms and conditions apply.

That is casper.com/slash T-E-S-D and a T-E-S-D code.

Terms and conditions definitely do apply.

Yeah.

All right.

So

that could be it.

Let me see what else we got.

Q, how's your voice feeling?

I mean, we're at an hour and I feel like.

Yeah, I mean,

I've been holding my tongue.

I wanted to ask you about something.

It may be warrant too much speaking on your end to talk about it, though.

Did you check out The Mandalorian?

I did.

This week's episode?

I haven't seen this week's episode.

It's a good one.

Is it you giving it a five-star rating like Tell him Steve Dave?

The entire show?

Yeah.

Yes.

It's a five-star, yeah.

I don't know how it could be better.

It's so good.

It is, it has an amazing ability to strike a tone of

serious and legit funny at times where, and how he makes that character so likable without ever taking off that mask.

What an actor.

I think

you would say that it's

this is how it's universally been received by fandom, right?

I haven't heard a single negative word about it.

What do Star Wars fans want, do you think, then, based on their response to this and the response of the last two movies, though?

They want a badass,

right?

They want a badass, confident, fucking hero in the fucking focal point that has a sense of humor,

that has feelings of decency.

They don't want fucking what they've been shoveling down everyone's throat.

No, they, they, because

it seems to me, like, especially, and look, we've talked about how much I dislike Last Jedi.

I like Green Johnson.

I saw Knives Out.

Did you see it?

It's so fucking good.

He made Looper.

He made Brick.

I would say I'm a fan of the guy, but Last Jedi was so bad.

And

because it's like,

it seemed like they weren't trying to serve the story.

Exactly.

And it's just like,

what am I watching?

You're serving something else.

I'm serving.

At the expense of a story.

The casino scene where they're just giving speeches about fucking how rich people are bad.

I'm just like, this, you're serving a message right now that I don't want to fucking heat.

I just paid fucking $10 to watch this movie.

And Mandalorian is just like,

here it is.

Here's a badass.

And that's what people wanted.

They wanted Luke to come in and save the day so desperately.

They wanted one more chance to fucking see Luke as...

The greatest hero in the galaxy.

Who had a meeting and said, let's not immediately, in The Force Awakens, the first movie in X amount of years, not...

They had a meeting and they made the decision not to have Luke in it at all.

Luke with Han and Leia on the Falcon.

Like, they made that choice.

They could have made that movie with them back on the Falcon.

But they chose not to.

You're like, whoa, what?

And then they're like,

why are we getting this

backlash?

What the hell?

What's wrong with this?

This is a toxic fan base.

But look, look at the diversity, guys.

Isn't that cool?

And everybody was like, I mean, yeah,

fine, but I'm...

Give us Luke.

I mean, could I just have Luke?

Give us Han.

Why would you not make Luke and Han in the same room?

Why would you make Luke an asshole, too?

Why would you make Luke an asshole?

I don't know.

Why would you make Luke an asshole?

I mean, the whole fucking franchise

is based on his fucking being like seeing his journey and seeing him become a hero and being likable throughout the whole thing.

Yeah.

And then at the end, you make him a just,

you just make him a bitter old man who, like, it was, it's, last shedder that was a misstep, man.

I'm not sure that the one that's coming out in a couple weeks is going to make up for it.

I hope.

I hope what they do is like, whoa, guys, we got to give him something.

I hope that we got to give him something.

I mean, I've heard

terrible rumors coming down the pike.

Like, what, what?

That Hayden Christopher is back.

I've heard that same rumor that he might be in it.

But you wouldn't like that?

I just I think they're gonna throw too much out there.

I I don't know, man.

And that it's going to be, like, I've heard the the storylines they're going with are based on things that have never even happened in the movies.

So they're going to be like confused.

Like it's based on stuff that may have happened in books.

Like what?

Like these these creatures that are endomorphians or something like that.

Oh, the Midichlorins?

Yeah.

Yeah, but they were in the prequels.

Oh, I don't even remember that.

Yeah, that was.

Are they people or are they little selfies?

No, they're in the - that's how they - Jedis have like an increased amount of midichlorines in their blood.

Yeah, I just much like Sopranos, I don't remember much of the prequels.

Yeah.

Darth Moll.

Darth Moll's great.

I heard maybe coming back.

Well, he already came back in solo.

The solo was set in the past, though.

But he was still alive after.

Oh, that's right.

Oh, shit, you're right.

So that was still set after

he had died.

Many years after he died.

Oh, okay.

Yeah.

So

you have hopes that it's going to redeem itself, the franchise?

I do.

Aside from Killing Han Solo, which I hated, I didn't not like Force Awakened.

Like, I was kind of like, all right.

Just because when it ended, I had hope that we were going to see what I wanted.

But I like Ray.

I think Ray's a good character.

Like, I like her.

I like Finn.

I don't know.

It's weird because you think about these new characters, and I'm like,

like, do you care about them?

It's hard to really care about them, but I don't know if that's because of our age.

Would we care more if we were younger?

I find more and more, just in general, it is so difficult for someone to get me to care about a character in a movie or a TV show.

And I don't know if it's because

the way things are done today is they don't give you time because they got to get to the shit right away because the audiences today are not the audiences of the fucking 70s where they'll sit through a three-hour towering inferno to learn an hour and a half of everyone's backstories before the shit starts happening.

But did you see Attack the Block?

No.

A fucking great movie.

That's where the guy plays Finn.

That was his first movie.

You didn't see it.

Did you see Attack the Block?

Is that like a video game?

That's alien.

Oh, my God.

Oh, my God.

No, I didn't see it either.

Never heard of it.

Fucking movie up.

It's a British movie about

these aliens that attack projects.

And the kid who becomes Finn in Star Wars, John Boyega, whatever his name is,

he's like

not a likable character in the beginning.

He's robbing a woman, he's beating the shit out of people for no reason.

And then the projects got taken over by these aliens, and he becomes this hero.

And it's just like, you care about his scumbag character so much more in that movie.

Really?

Like, you're like, I can't, you guys got to watch it.

The alien design is, you would fucking love it.

It's really so well done.

You might want to put the subtitles on just so you can understand what some of those street gangs are saying.

But I'll test heavy Brit accents.

Yeah, but

I don't know that anybody's had trouble following it.

It's so fucking good.

The monster design is amazing.

You got your tickets yet for Star Wars?

No.

No.

You think you're going to be able to mosey on in just on?

I don't mind waiting a few days.

Oh, wow.

I'm surprised.

I mean,

that right there has shown that

you lost a little bit of the lust.

I just last year, I just fucking

kicking the balls so much.

AJ Eunuch.

Yeah.

Definitely kicking the balls right now.

You got no fucking sexual drive for Star Wars anymore.

You did it to Star Wars.

I mean, you did it to Sunday Jeff.

So he needs some sort of fucking Star Galaxy Blue Chew.

He definitely does.

He hasn't known.

He just watched Mandalorian.

Jeff?

Yeah.

Yeah, he liked it.

It's great.

Yeah.

It wasn't enough.

Well, yeah, that is the Blue Chew.

That is the Star Wars Blue Chew at this point.

Yep.

That's got every old-timey Star Wars fan rocking a fucking hard on it they haven't had since the fucking 90s.

TC this week's episode.

Cool, man.

I could, I mean,

I'm not gonna.

It's not a spoiler because it happens right away.

Back to tattooing.

Oh, yeah.

Now, what is your feelings on the baby Yoda?

That's what I'm just saying.

I was getting a little sick of it, though.

Already, it's not.

You weren't sick immediately?

Not immediately.

No,

immediately, I was just like, whoa, what is that?

Is that Yoda, or is that some sort of clone, or is that just one of his species?

But now, every time I fucking open my phone, I'm like, baby Yoda, da-da-da.

I'm just like, I'm starting to hate it already because, and that's not the, that's not Disney's fault, but that's just the fucking, you know, people are just

piling on the bandwagon on.

The general intellect.

I don't go on,

so.

Or just

the intense desire to be a part of something.

I think Baby Yoda's cute too.

No matter what it is.

I mean, I want to be a part of it.

Yeah, yeah.

And it's kind of making me go like, man, I really hope Baby Yoda turns out to be something that we think it's not going to be.

Or it's like devoured by another alien, something like that.

Or it's evil or something.

Well, did you hear the rumor?

I am getting to the end of how much I could talk, but did you did you hear the rumor about Mandalorian connecting to Rise of Skywalker?

No, because this viewing schedule is an episode a week until the week that Rise of Skywalk comes out.

There's no episode of Mandalorian, and then it picks up after the movie.

So, what I'm hearing is that something is going to happen on the show that affects the movie.

No, is that set in the same no, it's set five years after Jedi, so it's

I imagine it's gonna be something to do with Baby Yoda or

how they bring back the Emperor is related to something with Yoda, the Baby Yoda.

I can't wait to check it out now that all my tech issues are fixed.

Yeah, that's right.

I'm on Disney Plus.

I'm looking for Mandalorian.

I'm like, why the fuck is it not on here?

I'm searching Star Wars.

I'm searching Mandalorian.

I'm like, am I misspelling it?

I look it up.

No, I'm spelling it correctly.

So I talked to my tech team of Victor and Walt.

And Victor was like, well, is it on a kid's profile?

And then it was.

I thought Disney Plus, like, there would be no kids' profile.

Well, I would think Disney would be even more in tune with helping parents make sure that the kids are watching what parents want them to watch.

Because some, I mean, is there

that's like...

I don't know.

Is there's got to be

the Simpsons.

Yeah, maybe.

They don't want their kids seeing an underachiever who's proud of it.

Remember, people got real upset about that.

Do you, what are your feelings on Disney pretty much going to be owning every intellectual property that exists on the planet?

Do you feel that's good, or do you feel that maybe the government has to step in and be like, this is, you know, this constitutes

like a monopoly?

Yeah, monopoly.

You can't buy everything.

Antitrust suit.

Yeah, I mean, I would hate for them to buy

like the next Deadpool movie.

Like, I would hate for that.

I think they already own it.

No, no, I would hate for that to be PG-13 instead of rated R.

So.

Okay, but let's say they they make a great movie, then.

Then your fears are you don't care how much they own of every single thing that

we consume.

What if they bought True TV and you had to start incorporating baby Yodas into your practical jokes and stuff?

Gave it a big bump, too, though.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Big bump?

Yeah.

So, what do I say about selling out?

You got a small bump.

All right.

Just give me a bump of Coke so I can keep going.

I can keep this baby Yoda.

Yeah, but I don't think I've ever made a secret about selling out.

I don't know if I want Disney owning everything, though.

I think that's a slippery, slippery slope, though.

Well, I think it's ideal, but if they're making good stuff,

have they done anything so far that makes you feel like this is Disney's influence and

I don't like it?

Yeah, Star Wars.

Star Wars in general.

And it was Disney's influence, not just.

I think it was definitely had.

I mean, it was somebody's influence that fucking

almost killed it, if not for Jon Favreau.

I mean, if not, I mean, they should be back in the fucking Brinkschuck to that dude's house.

And that's the guy who basically created the Marvel, the MCU.

Yeah.

He was Iron Man, right?

Yeah,

he wrote and directed Iron Man, one and two.

Yeah.

Did you hear that they want to make a Mando woman Mando Woman?

You know how it's Mandalorian?

A Mando Woman or the Mike Sapsek story?

Tell him, Steve Dave.

And I only, and I'm only saying tell him, Steve, Dave, because I'm fucking disgusted.

Yeah.

Mike,

I got your back.

I had your back this whole episode.