#421: Retailer Holocaust

Let drink up, pigs.

Set him out of my food.

I'm saying right now: it's going to be Bezos is going to be the new Hitler.

I mean, come on, man.

I want to fucking Radio City Music Hall.

I want to Massive Square Guard.

Haven't you put him out enough?

Yeah.

Tell them, Steve, Dave.

Hello, and welcome to this week's edition of Tell him Steve Dave.

Very rarely do we get into yet another podcast so quickly after entering the main podcast, but

go ahead.

Oh, what's up?

Hello, everybody.

Welcome to the all-new Pucknuts, by the way, dealing with the wild world of sports and everything else.

Not Pucknuts.

No, not energetic.

I thought I'd get a little bit more out of the guy.

Oh, sorry.

It's been a long day at a shared universe.

Hello, everybody.

Welcome to the All New Pucknuts.

The All-New Pucknuts minute.

You got to stay on brand, man.

Yeah, I'm sorry.

I'm sorry.

I let everybody down.

It will never happen again.

What are we talking about today, Ming?

Are we talking about Waltz Patriots and

Antonio Brown?

Oh, yeah, we're talking about AB?

Yeah, AB about some AB.

I would like to talk about this.

I found this very interesting,

this whole thing.

Can you tell everyone what exactly happened?

I know a couple things here, but now he's back in college, I hear.

He's like Rodney.

Tonio Brown, all-world wide receiver for the Pittsburgh Steelers.

Disgruntled last year, didn't want to play for the Steelers anymore.

Felt he was undervalued with the team.

forces his way out of Pittsburgh via trade to the Oakland Raiders, gets to Oakland, signs a major big bucks deal, $9 million signing bonus, yada, yada, yada, then proceeds to have a meltdown of

which the sports world really has not seen before, you know, doing weird things like recording his coach without his knowledge.

He records almost everything, right?

He really records about everything.

You know, on a phone call that he had with his head coach, he recorded it and put it online, you know, without the coach's knowledge.

That is weird.

Refusing to wear a helmet that

he, no, wanting to wear his old helmet so much, threatening to retire if they don't allow him to wear his old helmet, which is out of date now.

It's not concussion protocol

approved.

So he was making weird demands, acting very

like he had like a personality disorder.

And the theory was he was doing it on purpose so he could get cut by the team,

which he did get cut by the team.

And then the Patriots,

Tom Brady's Patriots, then picks up this player, signs him to a mega deal, $9 million again signing bonus.

And then the day after he signs that big deal with the Patriots, it's found out, the world finds out that he has multiple sexual assault civil suits.

Not criminal, just civil.

Civil suits in the works so that he has a lot of things things going on that he's being sued by multiple women for behavior that is unacceptable.

Patriots playing for one game, but then Antonio Brown sends tweets out, I guess, threatening tweets about the woman or the women that are accusing him of these crimes.

And the Patriots are then forced, like, it just got too noise.

The noise was too much.

The distractions too heavy.

Couldn't deal with it.

They're like, you know what?

We got to cut him, too.

There's no dealing with this.

It's beyond the pale.

Cut him.

So now he's jobless.

He said he would never play in the NFL again.

He turned his back on the NFL.

Yeah, the NFL is.

I think it's the other way around at this point.

I don't know if any team is willing to take a chance on him because of all the baggage and

the

accusations.

A lot of people don't want to root for their team if they have a sexual predator on the team.

Sure.

You know, it's bad, bad, bad for the team to have.

Isn't there a team called the Predators?

Not the Sexual Predators.

No, it is not.

I don't watch a lot of football.

How do I know?

That's hockey.

You can tell that.

But now he's supposedly

going back to college, some online courses.

Now, why did you want to talk about it?

I just thought it was interesting that that much money is being thrown around.

Originally, Ming, I wanted to ask you if you thought that the Patriots are the horniest team out there with

these massage parlors and these assaults.

Championships make you horny.

How the fuck did Tom Brady get

Tom Brady get all the morals for the team, and everyone else is like, we're basically, is this his healthy team?

Tom Brady has his baggage too, though.

I'm a big Tom.

He's a saggy boy.

He's all bullshit.

Not that nice.

And plus, he had a baby out of wedlock.

Did he?

Yeah.

With Giselle Boontchen or something?

No, with somebody else.

Oh, so he had sex, you know, premarital sex, had a baby.

Oh, my God.

And he's still playing for the NFL.

Oh.

Come on.

NFL is rife with criminals.

Wow, how old is this kid?

The kid's got to be,

if not 10, almost 10, I would think.

He had a son.

Had a son.

And who's the woman?

It was like an actress,

like an unknown actress, I think, who

hasn't gone on and do a lot of stuff.

He had Popeye.

Olive oil, I mean.

Just throwing out all the old references.

Got to get them all out there.

Walt and I were talking the other day.

I came down to the store and Sage was there.

And we brought up Welcome Back Cotter.

And Walt said something about Sage not getting the reference.

And then we were like, wait a second, her teacher is 25, probably.

We're like, her teacher doesn't get the reference.

Like, generation after generation, not appreciating our brilliance, referencing old TV shows.

This is a problem.

Sometimes I wonder

if there's some hidden time machine in the basement of the statue and you and Mike just step in there and just

I don't fucking need a time machine, bitch.

My time machine's right in this fucking skull.

Yeah,

Mike should get changed when he comes back for present time, though, not wear the clothes from the past.

Now, Q, you're the owner of an NFL team.

Okay.

No chance.

Oh, you're not that far away.

Yeah.

So you're looking into maybe buying a team in the NFL?

No.

Lobby for expansion.

TV, boys.

You don't have a Super Bowl trophy yet.

You can scoop up AB now.

You can scoop up this player and automatically make your wide receiver core

that much better, that much closer to getting that Super Bowl championship.

Do you do it?

No.

Why?

I don't like his history.

I don't like the abuse of it.

But it's accusations.

It hasn't been proven yet.

Oh, then, yeah.

I mean, I'm not kidding around.

It really is.

These things haven't been tried in a court of law yet.

These are accusations brought out.

I mean, he hasn't had a chance to defend himself yet.

But where there's smoke, there's most likely fire.

Look, I'm a huge, huge, huge fan of you're innocent until proven guilty.

I think that's important, especially these days.

Well, but, and anything, but to me, it's like

recording the conversation with the coach would be enough.

I'd be like, I don't want this guy.

I don't know how the Patriots could have treated me.

We haven't found a fucking history of refucking recording people with either knowledge.

I did.

I did i didn't well i didn't really post it but it was kind of post it was before the fucking internet in the infancy of the internet that's why he didn't send an email to kevin

good point

yeah there's no way to put it he's like i always post it yeah

he laughs about it but it's fucking creepy as shit it is funny but it's fucking ming you gotta do it i've had to be like people be like hey ming did this i'm like it's fucking ming Like Ming's gets a pass for weirdness that I feel like I wouldn't extend to other people.

Not from you, I think.

He unapologetically was flirting with Mary Beth the other day, and I'm just watching him.

I'm like, he's awesome.

Eyes going up and down, scanning her.

Come on, you put her in a friend.

I love her.

You put her in a leader hosen, man.

What are you guys borrowing her about?

I mean,

she could be in

a fucking tunic or

the burqa thing.

Yeah.

And he would find a bump to admire.

He would find a curve

to check out.

I I see beauty in every woman.

Every woman.

Every woman, yes.

There you go.

No matter what they wear.

So the question is, are you willing...

The guy sounds too weird, though, to roll the dice, even if shit wasn't popular.

Yeah, I don't think any team right now.

I believe he will get another chance in the NFL.

But I believe right now he's too toxic.

It's kryptonite to any team at this point.

You cannot bring him on the squad.

If you need a wide receiver, I mean, he may be shot, but I thought there's Brian is still out there.

I don't know why if the Patriots, unless he's so fucking toast at this point.

They must see something.

I mean, no team took a shot on Des Bryant, which must say a lot that

he must be done.

But the Patriots, I mean, they're one injury away that almost happened this weekend, though, of

being a catastrophe, not having a wide receiver on the other side.

Edelman got hurt.

Looked like Josh Gordon got hurt.

So,

I mean.

Does this concern you as a Patriots fan?

All this, like, it's not smooth right now for the team.

Could that get in their heads?

I think Antonio Brown.

I think they thrive on this shit.

I think they love

being able to, like, oh, these are distractions that would, that would derail another team.

Oh, okay, that's just another challenge.

They need challenges at this point.

They dominate the fucking league.

10%, almost 10% of the league's championships have been won by the Patriots.

In a hundred years, like in a 100-year existence, they need challenges like this.

Although it's not very woke, they're like, I kind of hope A.B.

is guilty of this sexual assault.

So that's a huge hurdle we have to overcome just to see if we can do it.

He's like a no-nonsense guy, though, man.

He's not putting up.

Well, I mean, he did, though.

He brought him in knowing that there was going to be a circus.

Probably not knowing it would be this level of a circus.

But, I mean, they kind of asked for it, though.

And I don't know why they would do it other than they were just like, they were blinded by his brilliance, though, as a a wide receiver?

I mean,

he's all world at this point.

Oh, yeah, yeah, Hall of Fame caliber.

Well, he ain't getting Hall of Fame now.

No.

Well, you don't think, well, it said he signed up for college again, so he's going back to college.

You think he plays there a little while?

He's not probably eligible to play in college.

Oh, no.

He already went to college and played.

What the fuck would he go to college for then?

Just to better himself.

Wants to do that.

Wow.

Oh, what a man.

Good lord.

All right, Mang.

Well, thanks.

That was the Puck Nuts, man.

I was curious about this thing.

What did he fucking appropriate?

What do you thought?

He's the Pucknuts guy.

What did he provide?

I did nothing.

He laughed at you.

He's making fun of Mike.

It's just going to cost him like some

apologies.

That's good enough for me.

Yeah, well, you know, we got to thank him.

We're here at a beautiful shared universe studio.

That's true.

You know, looking at all the businesses.

It is beautiful.

It's great, isn't it?

A little warm.

A little hot, but

you guys still have not mastered this air conditioning situation.

Why am I building?

Like,

what do I like to do?

It's your business.

Yeah.

I know.

You should be bitching to that guy.

I should.

Well, as a startup business, gentlemen.

You guys are?

Yeah.

You've been in business for years.

Is it multiple years yet?

Is it the anniversary yet?

A ball between you and Mike that you can go to this fucking landlord and be like, bro, fix the fucking air conditioning.

No, we don't.

Or we walk.

Or we're going to walk.

Or we walk.

You're like, all right, see you later, gentlemen.

You can take our name off the fucking marquee.

Yeah.

Yeah.

A startup business, you go with low rent, and then you go up from there.

When's the anniversary?

January 1st of every year.

That's the anniversary.

So we started January 1st, 2018.

So we're almost almost at two years now.

All right, so it is.

You have, it's almost a two-year-old business.

Almost.

Congratulations to you and Mike, really.

Thank you.

Happy anniversary to you and Mike.

Thank you.

You know, I'm just saying.

Ming, if there's one thing you and I both like, it's boners.

Not for ourselves.

No.

But to use.

Oh, yeah.

I mean, lady folk.

Yeah.

Right?

We've got deliver, man.

Now, we're a little bit older, so they're not popping as frequently as they used to.

And that's why we need blue chew.

Do you feel any

issues in that area?

No, I don't, not currently.

But if I did rock,

if I did.

If you did, and we all do sometimes,

you go to Blue Chew.

You can increase your performance and get that extra confidence in bed.

Blue Chew, that's blue, like the color blue.

Blue Chew brings you the first chewable with the same FDA-approved active ingredients as Viagra and Ciel, so you know they work.

You can take them anytime, day or night, even on a full stomach.

Since they're chewable, they work up to twice as fast, Ming, so you can fucking fuck double time.

Let's say you didn't want to go the drug route.

Okay.

You wanted to go the old natural route for a moment.

Like, your penis is Chinese.

No, no, no.

But what would you use to

help you get a little firmer?

Any images?

I mean, what's my alternative?

Oysters?

No, no, no.

Let's say you just need something.

You need something to fuel that brain.

What's the image you want?

What is your conjurer?

Yeah, like what's your good thing?

Oh, what do I think about?

You need to get an erection quick.

Yeah, like you're on the spot.

It's like

you get an erection or something.

Debbie's like, fuck me, stupid.

I mean, you know all the weird shit I'm into.

Well, just give us a couple of fucking heels and shit.

Heels and heels.

Just heels.

No, like,

when you go to Target, do you have to stay out of the fucking shoe aisle or something?

Oh, it's not.

That's like Blue Chew of Target.

No, it's not that.

Do you not take Blue Chew before you go to a wrestling match?

Show up the heels.

No, no, it's got to be.

What's the heel have to?

What else has to be with the heel to make it?

No, you got a picture of the woman in the heels.

It's not just the foot.

Is it just the foot?

No, it's not.

It's like the whole package, dude.

It's the whole picture.

Who are you picturing, though?

Who's the woman?

Do you have any, like.

Like, let's say a celebrity?

I don't know.

Like, I would only masturbate to the person that I'm with because I'm fucking monogamous.

Right, of course.

AF, as they say.

But you.

And you've always been that way.

But you've been married a long time, so it would be.

It would be okay for you to be like, oh, maybe

the girl from Friends, one of the girls.

Like Jennifer Anderson?

Sure, yeah, sure.

Okay, sure.

Paulina Portugova.

You met her, actually.

Yeah, she's now the Rick O'Kays side of the picture.

He is, yes.

Now, does she have, can she have clothes on?

Sure.

And it'll still get you.

Absolutely.

Wow.

Yeah, I'm not talking a potato sack or nothing, but you know.

You're not going to make any money off.

Blue Shoe's not going to make any money off this guy.

He's too good.

You're too virile.

He's a dynamo.

He's a firecracker, this guy.

Shocking, you only have two kids.

Yeah.

So

she could be wearing like

a parka.

A parka?

Yeah, could she be wearing a parka?

Like just a parka?

Hell yeah.

A parka,

and heels, yeah.

A parka, pants.

Like, there's no skin except their face showing.

Oh, I mean, you got to change it.

It's something that, oh, oh, something to come on, bro.

How much, how much

area do you need?

Yeah.

That's not a face.

That's a target.

Look at you.

If I can change.

Got me all worked up.

I'm crazy for it.

This isn't just for guys who can't perform.

It's for any guy who wants it.

Extra performance to enhance their performance in the bedroom.

Oh, extra function.

Okay, for instance, most guys talk a good game, but if you're one and done, Bluetooth can help you follow through for round two.

It's prescribed online.

Yeah.

How many was the last time you did round two?

It's been a long time, actually.

Guys, our age, round two is fucking like next week.

That's not by my choice.

I'll see you next week for round two.

Yeah, round two is real.

I got mine.

It's not by my choice.

My wife going, like, we did it already.

Why do you want?

You want boner?

I think most women are like that.

I was like, well, I'm going to bed.

I don't want to get off school.

Let's see.

No more awkwardness.

You don't got to

wait in the pharmacy.

No in-person doctors' visit because you're going to get to the bottom.

No awkwardness.

God, well, sign me up right now.

No awkwardness in the bedroom.

Sign me up right now.

Yeah, where were they like when you were in college trying to bed women?

Oh, God.

Yeah.

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China and India.

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Thank you.

All right.

Free boners.

Nice.

We had occasion to bartend, Ming, you and I.

Yeah, we did.

It's funny.

We're good bartenders.

I thought we were really good.

Yeah.

You got a sympathetic ear to some people.

I did, yeah.

I listened to people,

you know, moan, not moan, but I mean,

they were a little moaning about the long lines, but that was okay.

So long lines are going to be long.

That's just the way it is.

Anywhere you go, where there's a Brian Quinn, a Salva Catto, a Murray, a Gatto, to a lesser extent, a Jiggy or Casey Joseph.

Right, right.

A Brian Johnson, a Ming Chen, a Joy Fatone.

Yeah.

Yeah.

There's going to be long lines.

Yeah.

But I hardly heard any bitch.

We're talking about the beer launch, Walt.

Ming and i i um i when i was looking to see who was coming you know i see the list on an evite yeah from from uq

and the rub some hormones um enterprises yeah my beer my beer company officially launched on big saturday party huge party great times beer is out there it's in bars now in manhattan and on statone it was silk as smooth as it was silk there were i didn't see i mean you're talking about hundreds of

almost 2,000 people hundreds and yeah really I mean at one time hundreds of people in the same room

who were all drinking yep it's loud it's real crowded no problems at all it was a party everyone was having a great time everybody with no we didn't get a single complaint no fights no no drunken shenanigans it was good yeah I went to the to the website like I mean to the evite to see like oh well who's gonna be there and so it's like yes no and then hasn't replied you know not a lot of people

you know, were willing to.

Just leave you hanging in her legs.

Yeah, most people replied.

Yeah.

How do the French say it?

Respond de civou play.

Okay.

Isn't that what they say?

RSVP.

Yes, sir.

Yes, sir.

Couldn't help but notice a non-committal Walt Flanagan.

I couldn't help but notice it.

There's the name.

The name of the guy who's like, why the fuck don't you invite me to things?

Not going is one thing.

Not RSVPing.

Now that's personal.

To even answer an email?

Yeah, it's stressful.

You can't answer an email to say, every two seconds I hear a fucking

and then you're on eBay.

I tried to hit reply.

It says, do not reply to this email.

No, you reply to the evite, not the email.

Yeah, you hit the link, and then you say, no.

I don't know.

So it's ignorance.

Anxiety.

There's a little bit of both.

Yeah, okay.

A little bit of both.

I saw some of the pictures.

You know, I couldn't handle that.

No, I'm not expecting you to be there, but I was surprised that you didn't favor him with the

response.

I didn't really think that he'd be checking the fucking

list to see, like, you know, constantly to see whose name was or what he was.

When you're wrong about that, you would be wrong.

Really?

Who was it that you were looking for?

I just wanted to make sure that everybody, you know,

I got to make sure everything runs smooth.

I got to make sure I order the right amount of food.

I had to catered.

You know, like, you've got to know who's coming to not so you know how much food

in a situation like this.

Yeah.

Well, come and you don't have to order any extra food.

Nothing would have changed.

There were some other people, though.

In fact, I would like to shame some of them right now.

Shame away.

They have social anxiety disorder as well, though.

And you're going to be shaming them, really.

Well, then you better

tell Mike to

get some of that.

Oh, I know why Mike didn't go.

Yeah.

Yeah, he told me it this morning.

What happened?

He was staining his deck, and he got stain all over his hands.

And he didn't want to go with brown hands.

He thought that would be a bad light, putting him in a bad hand.

That's the color I thought you were going to say.

That was his excuse for not coming.

He said he couldn't get the brown stain off his hands.

Why didn't he respond, I guess, to the E-vite?

Up to the bottom.

he's he's staining his deck that morning that that he should have answered before that is staining your hands brown i'm telling you that's exactly what he said it's like he purposely gave himself some sort of skin contact rash poisoning

also i should point out this wasn't for the uh public event this is for the friends and family party afterwards

that

oh is he aware that it was a different thing because i didn't realize there was two different things i thought it looked to me like a circus

says that it looked like a circus when i saw the picture that was a public party.

You would not have liked it.

You definitely should have done that.

You're not going, is it?

We wrapped it.

We shut it down at 7:30 or 8, and then at 8:30, the friends and family.

Very hard party to get into.

I was getting requests.

The number of people who asked me to get in, it was crazy.

And I'm like, look, I had to tell family.

I'm like, God, we're just overbooked.

You had to tell family they couldn't get in.

Really?

What'd your mom and dad think of that?

They were there, so they were fine.

They weren't the family he kept out.

Yeah.

Yeah.

So you kept a slot open for Mike?

And you.

For the friends and family.

Yeah.

Well, you're my friend and my family.

He kept looking down the street.

He's

not coming, though.

I thought you asked me on the pod.

I said I wasn't coming.

I'm not bringing this up.

He is.

I didn't think you were coming.

Yeah.

I mean, the thing, though, like, I remember you asked him me on the pod, and I was like, oh, I'm not doing it.

I mean, come on, man.

I went to fucking Radio City Music Hall.

I went to Massachusetts Square Garden.

Haven't you put him out enough?

Yeah.

They've made him put in New York twice in his life.

I went to that show in Florida.

How much more do I got to fucking do?

I'm not complaining.

I'm not complaining.

I feel like a nice cherry would have been like, no, I'm not coming.

That's it.

That's the cherry.

It's been a Sunday so far.

I didn't realize that there was even any like misunderstanding.

Now, the thing with Mike, I mean, brown hands, I mean, it would have looked, I mean, there would have been all sorts of questions, I think.

With the rest of his wardrobe, nobody even would have noticed the brown

They would have started at the Jesus sandals with no socks and jeans, and they would not have gotten past that.

They would have been like,

He could have worn gloves.

They make gloves, yeah.

And he still would not have been worse-dressed.

I would have gone to my brother, Darren.

I'm like, Oh my god, yeah, I was like, Did you get off a fucking fishing boat?

Like, what the fuck, dude?

He's in a tank top and flip-flops and these messed-up shorts.

Yeah, really.

Oh, he embarrassed you.

He didn't embarrass me.

I didn't talk to him the whole time.

I didn't even say I was related to him.

So,

No, no, no.

He didn't embarrass me, but I was like, what the hell?

Yeah.

Dude.

Classy party, man.

I know it's a brewery, but put on a shirt with sleeves, maybe?

Sleeves.

I mean, there's too many people out there running around.

Like, even if you have guns, nobody wants to fucking see you in a tank tub eating.

Yeah.

Nobody really.

I try to not even wear flip-flops to a restaurant because I'm like, nobody wants to look at my hairy shirt.

I wouldn't fucking wear a shirt at all, ever.

Be like Walt McConaughey and shit.

All right, all right, all right.

Play in bongos and shit.

Yeah, no, I left.

I had to go, so I didn't attend the Friends and Family party.

When I was there all day, I got

to go to some shit con to lose money.

Are you serious?

You went to a con?

I came into a convention I was supposed to be at all weekend, and I was like, listen, my friend needs me on Saturday.

I'm not coming, but I'll come on Sunday.

But it was a five-hour drive.

I cannot complain about me.

He was awesome.

He was awesome.

He was not.

He dove in at time for everybody, pictures for everybody.

He was one of the biggest assets we had at the end.

Oh, thank you.

I was just having fun.

Absolutely.

But as I was leaving, though, I saw people we knew who drove all the way up waiting outside, going, Hey, hey, can you get me into the party?

Oh, that's got a feel for you.

And you know this guy.

You work with him.

He came up.

Yeah.

He didn't get into the party.

Who?

Gidden.

Did he get in?

Oh, Giddam is in.

Oh, he went in there.

Oh, I saw him.

I didn't know.

I saw him waiting outside with everybody else who was hopefuls.

Like, you know, waiting to get in.

He was on it.

Okay.

Here's the thing about Ginnem.

I got to say something about him.

Okay.

What a great guy.

He stayed till almost two in the morning helping breaking down.

Oh, wow.

And I kept saying, Get him, go.

I'm like, go home, go home.

And, you know, he's got the gout, so he's jumping around.

Did he think he was going to get it, walk away with a keg or something, a free keg?

Yeah, he's like, where's the rest of that strood going?

He dressed up.

He did.

He dressed up.

He was a button-down shirt, tucked in.

Yeah.

Get all kinds of compliments and shit.

I mean, he had time for people.

were so excited to see him.

He never got annoyed at people.

His anxiety thing never kicked in, as far as I could tell.

He was, he was,

I was so proud, dude.

I was proud of him.

And then to throw in your hand at the end of the night and help the workers and everybody, like, like break down stuff.

And, like, it was crazy.

He didn't drink too much.

He didn't drink too much, huh?

Well, no brown hands.

He came with no brown hands.

Hats off to him.

Come on, man.

He was staying in a deck.

You did say deck, right?

All right, try to get him.

I'll blame Thompson's water seal.

Proud to get him.

Proud of Johnson.

Johnson came.

He threw Mary Beth in a sexy little Yandy-type costume.

Yeah.

I am keeping Yandy in business single-handedly.

People are appreciating that.

Brian wore a leader hosen.

Did look good.

I was there for 11 hours.

Yeah, 11 hours.

Wow.

Yeah.

You said I went to stay the whole time.

Who said that?

You did.

I I did.

The show.

Yeah.

You were like, there's no way.

Maybe you said I went to bartend the whole time.

That you were right about.

Oh, yeah.

It was too crowded back there, and people are like, you know, if it's Gatto and Murray and Fatone, and I'm like, make room, guys.

I'm trying to serve beer.

It's way better for me to just go out in the crowd or outside and take pictures and say hello.

Yeah, when it wasn't bartending, he was out there taking pictures.

I mean, the showing of support that I got from my friends and family was

worth

the whole venture already.

It was interesting to watch too, because I'm like, this is like a real thing.

I mean, you spent money on

props,

props,

signage, yeah, like almost like a set decoration type thing.

It looked absolutely great

out front.

Yeah.

Machine out front.

Some fucking awesome window decals.

Yeah, I love the logo.

The logo is the outline of Staten Island with a gothic Q in the middle and then Benjamin Cat on top.

It's such a great logo.

Thank you.

It was

one on 10 success.

The party was amazing.

I was exhausted because we, you know, I bartended.

I never left from behind the bar for the whole time.

But it was great.

And the ants, how much of that crowd was ants?

It was a lot.

Dude, so many people wearing t-shirts, showing up, 13 percenters.

It was

a hell of an outpouring

from the audience, the listeners, too.

And I found myself being really touched by that.

It was really, Walt.

It was, for me, a very special day.

Nice.

It's good to hear.

Many, many familiar faces.

Yeah.

Lots of people being like, where's Walt?

That's when I'm like, I wish he was here.

Because then you would be there and they wouldn't ask me that.

Yeah.

Yeah, I know what that's like.

Where's Bri?

Where's Bri?

I don't know.

He didn't get on the plane.

Where's Bri?

I don't know.

And then at one moment, it would be.

It was second only to looking up and seeing Walt there was seeing Bubbles from Trailer Park Boy.

Did you you know Trailer Park Boys?

I don't know that.

Okay, there's a character.

You maybe see, he's got the big glasses, the big think glasses.

Okay.

He's.

Trailer Park Boys has been off, what, 14 years at this point?

Longer than that.

Yeah, it's been a long time.

It's kind of an animated series.

It's like a major hit type thing.

Oh, yeah.

I keep forgetting that there's this huge screen behind me.

I don't have to look this shit up.

And Mike Smith, who plays Bubbles.

Oh, I've seen that dude.

His wife bought him tickets to the beer launch.

They flew to New York.

They never reached out.

They were never like, hey, we're coming, you know, fans of the show.

He waited online.

He was online taking pictures of everybody.

And then somebody came up to me.

He was like, one of the fans that I was serving Drinks to goes,

hey, you know, that's Bubbles from Trailer Park Boys.

Hey, he's online.

And I looked over and he's just there.

And it was

surreal.

Then I brought him in the back.

The crowd went nuts.

I said, oh, Mike's going to see.

The crowd went crazy.

You would see Brian's face when you saw him.

I have never seen, I don't know if I've ever seen you react like that.

I heard Mary Beth.

She was on the phone with her mom today.

She didn't know I could hear her, and she was talking about it.

She's like, I've literally never seen Brian so excited.

He saw him, did a double take.

His hands went up almost like in a girlish fashion.

I love him.

He's awesome.

And then he was just drawn to him like a magnet with his big wide eyes.

And I'm not making fun of him.

I'm glad I didn't see that.

Yeah.

It was pretty sad.

I'm glad I didn't see that.

Fanboy.

It's the same thing when he saw that dude, that fucking cop out.

Like when you fucking flawned over fucking.

Oh, no, I didn't ripped this.

I didn't.

Oh, Mark and Suelo.

I didn't run to him like I ran the bumpers.

It was a real fanboy moment you had.

It was really nice.

It was.

And Ming's around a lot.

So you know that

I run into famous people all the time with these cons, and I really don't care.

There was a moment where

Greg Nicotera, I was walking through the con, and

somebody's like, oh, hey, man, what's up?

And I was like, hey, what's going on?

Like, I just want to keep going because I'm trying to get to the green room to get something to eat.

Walk with a ming.

He's like, what the fuck?

He's like, that's Greg Nicotero.

I had to turn around, go back.

He's a Walking Dead director, makeup dude, showrunner, probably.

Make him the horror world back when we were still on the air.

Yeah, back when we were still air.

He'll fucking snub fucking a walking dead and fucking probably.

Maybe that's why you guys got kids.

Well, I said hello to him.

You sucked that dick.

I said hello to him on the way back down the ladder.

I was like, hey, Nicotero, help me.

I'm sorry.

I already sucked in enough for him.

I didn't even have to suck any more dead.

That dude murdered yourself.

I sucked a walk-in dead cosplayer's dick.

Yeah, really.

If you sucked it, it would have fallen off by that.

Look at the stretch marks on my throat, bro.

You suck that dick.

A giant walk-in dead dick.

There was none of that.

It was pure joy at seeing that.

And I think I had the same reaction because

it was unexpected.

Like, that's the thing.

It was unexpected.

Completely unexpected.

Yeah, yeah.

Like, if Walt was there,

Walt would have to be there nude for me to be a shock.

I don't know why.

I had guns, maybe.

Yeah, at least without a shirt.

And what a great guy.

I've been texting him back immediately.

It's like,

oh, now you're budging with him.

I mean, again, the support he showed and then how friendly he was.

His wife was real cool.

His wife was fucking awesome.

And right away, it's like, oh, when am I going to be on, when are we going to do Trailer Park Boys?

And now plans are in motion for us to go up to Canada.

As soon as Q meets somebody, he's like, put me on your show.

I think that's a good fit, though.

They've had many people, like they had Doug Benson.

They've had names that are just into the show and want to be on.

Well, right away, he was like, I know exactly what we're going to do.

And then they do a video podcast

in character

in one of the trailers that they shoot the show in.

Or like a weekly.

So I was like, oh, man, that sounds like even more fun than doing the show.

So I don't know.

It's going to be pretty good.

Like, it's the start of a beautiful relationship.

Yeah.

That's kind of.

I hope so.

Yeah, he was cool.

You know what you got to do?

You got to get a little, you got to get a little oil for that chair, dude.

Oh, it was a little squeaky.

All right.

All right.

I'll take a look at it.

Sounds like Arto D2's blowing me on the bed.

The one thing I noticed, like the only place where I would say the beer event was lacking was furniture.

I was like, this place could use some burrow furniture, probably.

Seeing that it's a new sponsor, it probably

could have gotten a few bucks off.

Here's the intro.

All right.

I've never read this before.

This is what they call cold reading.

This is exciting for me because this is kind of like above, this is acceptable.

This is a nice sponsor.

This is something that we can push with pride.

So

take it in while you can.

Why?

Because we got a Bluetooth design.

Oh, do we?

Yeah.

Here's the intro, boys.

Okay, that whole summer outdoors thing was nice and all, but fall TV is here, and I know I'm not the only only one who's about to get cozy with my remote control.

Please share what upcoming shows you're most excited about.

Partial Jokers.

Partial Jokers.

Or, you know, if IJ isn't on, it's like that fucking seven-minute window.

IJ is always on.

IJ is always on.

Between IJ and some infomercial.

IJ, yeah.

That's it, right, man?

What is it?

Yeah, new episodes premiering.

Oh, it's on right now.

It's on right now.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

It goes and goes and goes.

It goes and goes.

All right, so IJ.

I'm personally going to be glued to my couch until I've watched every single episode.

And if you are too, glue yourself to the best couch out there, Burrow.

Why do they want all this phony stuff, this phony baloney shit?

Why do they want this?

It paints a picture.

It makes people go like, yeah, because that's a feel-good thing.

Yeah, yeah, relate to it.

Yeah, you're like, oh, I watch TV.

I want to cozy up on a nice, comfy couch and watch and binge my favorite show.

It's like chicken soup.

Chicken soup for the soul?

This ad is like chicken soup.

All right.

So these are couches for the soul.

This is simple and nice, unless you're on the business side.

And then, like, sometimes you'll be like, hey, what do you want from Burrow?

And the person will tell you.

And then other times you talk to a fancy boy and he's like, can I see some swatches?

So I make sure it matches my other furniture.

I'm just saying, it wasn't you who asked for swatches, which I thought was like...

Like an old rage in the 80s.

You're offering us a free couch.

And I'm literally like, well, I don't know what the material looks like.

I don't don't know what the color looks like.

I can't just throw it in a room.

He's like, I don't trust Burrow, he says.

Just, no, I want to make an educated choice.

Yeah, it's got to match the Millennium Falcon backsplash.

Send me a fry.

Send me a fucking swatch.

That's all.

A couple swatches so you can make your final decision.

I mean, we fucking doing more vending for this fucking place than we did for Blue Chew.

It's fucking outrageous.

Yeah, I mean, we fucking did Blue Chew without any fucking getting any swatches or any fucking background.

Yeah, that's true, Q.

What do you have to say to that?

Let's stop doing Blue Chew.

I don't don't know the day.

No, no, no, no, no, no.

I mean, you know, when I cruise over to U porn and I see Blue Chew ads all over U porn, I'm like, excellent company.

But I got to be honest, I love U porn.

So, what are you going to do?

Yeah, what are you going to do?

Are your couches lumpy, boys?

Who?

Are your couches lumpy?

Do you have a lumpy couch?

I've been over your house.

All your couches seem fairly firm.

You just want to add

Burrow's asking me if it's lumpy.

I don't know.

I don't know.

You know what?

Fuck it.

I need a fucking swatch, man.

Yeah.

Once you get your swatches, now everybody's going to be asking these guys for swatches.

We're out of the loop, though.

You want swatches from Burrow?

Go for it.

Send the swatches to the company.

They want to sell shit?

Yeah.

No, they send them for free.

Yeah, it's costing the company money, though, to send those swatches.

If they get a customer out of it, good.

I think that what he's doing, he asked for so many fucking swatches.

I think he's getting his own fabric to make a couch.

And then he's going to go

to the auction to get the fucking foam shit.

Yeah, but like, you can just get a virtual fucking swatch.

No, you got to feel good enough.

That's all you got to feel.

You got to feel if it's which is comfortable.

Why?

Are you putting it in your fucking, like, your dining room, or are you putting it in your fucking guest room?

No.

Is this your finest piece of furniture?

I don't even think Burroughs, like, hey, this is your fucking centerpiece.

Yeah, I'm not bringing a fucking $100 couch to fucking the Crystal Palace.

The idea is like, you bought that piece of shit.

What are you you expecting, bro?

What do you get?

Guys, we're doing a commercial for the fucking.

Yeah.

You just go.

This is podcast furniture.

We say apocalypse?

This is podcast furniture.

You can't expect like fucking Seymour and Flanagan.

Yeah, really.

Whatever the fuck it's called.

I mean, it's fucking...

What's it called, Burrow?

It's called Burrow.

Yeah, even the name sounds like donkey hides.

Oh, my God.

This is an act.

People are supposed to want these couches, right?

Oh, here's the thing, though, Ming, it's totally customizable.

Oh, see, well, look, Burrow, if you're going to brag about your fabric colors, leg finishes, arms, I'm surprised you didn't ask for legs and arms.

Wait, so you got swatches already?

Yeah.

Have you gotten the couch yet?

Yeah.

What?

You got the couch already?

I haven't gotten it yet.

No.

I didn't get my piece of furniture yet.

No, I'm walking around the house with a swatch.

I'm holding it up in different lighting and stuff like that.

See, I'm sorry.

It's all day.

He's like, Howard Hughes?

I actually didn't show up to the beer company eventually.

you'll like this.

Okay.

Built-in USB chargers, so you can live tweet every episode and look up fan theories for hours after worrying without worrying about your phone dying theory.

Is that a fucking thing?

Their marketing campaign was like, let's marry ourselves to fucking people just fucking vegetating out and watching TV.

Right.

What?

Fucking losers.

What loser fucking

fucking sit through for 12 hours a day fucking watching TV?

I think I just heard the host of Tom Steve Dave say he's on his third rewatch from 30 Rock.

Let's get them.

It's the Brian Johnson couch, man.

But they're menu couches.

That is a great feature.

It is.

I have that on one of my other couches.

Do you?

You know, I used to think, like, I see the cup holders and that stuff, and I'm like, what piece of white trash would want this?

Oh, I had that.

Me, I made that, yeah.

Me, I went over to Mary Beth's parents' house over the summer, and I sat and I was like, I put my cup there.

I wasn't live tweeting or anything, but if I wanted to,

the option was there, and I was like, this is not that bad.

I saw a bed recently that, like, you could bring down out of the headboard two armrests.

You change into a giant chair?

Yeah, like you could just, like, it would come down.

It was made out of fat, like, firm leather, and it would come down, and you could just lay with your back up against the headrest and have two armrests with holes in it for your comfort.

That's cool.

Yeah.

I wanted to buy it, but my wife said, I was like, no, that's too trashy.

Oh, yeah.

Yeah.

Well, Burrow, I mean, they're so comfortable.

Like, you ever see these fat bastards that they sit around for so long, the fabric grows into their skin.

That's how comfortable these are.

You're going to be like, fuck it.

Forget surgically removed.

Forget IJ.

Yeah, I want to be on my 600-pound life.

That's how comfortable this fucking couch is.

Wow.

So they're going to offer free one-week shipping.

So you can have your new sofa all set up by next week's episode.

They're easy to set up and easy to move.

You can always add or remove seats as needed.

You can build, like, as your family grows, everyone can sit on the couch.

You're like one of these third-world families that you see, like, there's 10 people on one scooter.

Boom.

You get a burrow couch.

10 people.

Easy.

Easy.

I mean, when you think about it, though, offering free shipping of furniture is that's pretty good.

Dude,

I recently got a weight set that totaled like 150 pounds, and Amazon gave free one-day shipping.

I'm like, how the fuck is this possible?

Because they're just waiting until they fucking destroy all of fucking America's commerce, and then they fucking will be like, okay, there's nobody left but us.

Okay, now we'll jack that fucking shit up and there's no more free shipping.

Once they fucking have eliminated every bit of competition and brick and mortar, then let's see what Amazon does.

You know they're going to fucking do it.

Right now, they're ready to lose fucking money hand over fist as long as they destroy.

Well, I think, didn't it?

I think Bezos, he was like, This is not a sustainable business model.

He said it himself.

So, as soon as they fucking eliminate and there's only Amazon left to choose from, then they'll fucking eliminate free shipping.

It's going to happen, though.

I got my weights.

All right.

You say that now, but I mean, and for us, like, I mean, well, for a guy who works in retail, though, Amazon's the fucking enemy.

Are they?

Yeah.

Do Do they?

Well, I guess trades and stuff, right?

Oh, yeah.

Weekly, both of them.

They are the fucking enemy of fucking retail.

Trades, toys, all that stuff.

I'm saying right now, it's going to be Bezos is going to be the new Hitler in like 100 years.

He's going to be looked upon as one of the most evil people to have ever lived.

Is Bezos a Jew?

I think Bezos.

He will go on.

He will have under his

guise or under his watch, he will have put down more businesses.

It'll be a Holocaust.

Well, I don't like that, Annual Walt, because really.

No, no, you're right, Walt.

He's a Christian.

The American people are the ones that gave Amazon the power.

They can only blame themselves.

Well, they can't.

I mean, it's a struggling family can only

support so much brick and mortar.

When they're offering that, I don't even blame the American public, but what, his business plan is evil.

Why?

Because he's going to put out all these homegrown companies, all these stores, and it's going to be literally a dustbin or whatever.

What's it called?

What's that called?

When it's a dust bowl across America in strip malls, in malls itself.

There will be nothing left when he has achieved what he's looking to achieve.

But I'd still be able to get things delivered to my house the same on that side.

We just got to pay for shipping.

That's it.

Sounds like a money.

Do I still get in two days?

Because I'm in, man.

I'm still in.

All you guys

who toe that line, you know,

they're going to remember you.

You're going to be remembered in history, not kindly.

We're fucking fiddling.

We're over here fiddling fellow grasshoppers.

Let me tell you, history.

I don't give a fuck.

Yeah.

All right.

Life's hard.

I want shit delivered to my house.

Fast, free, if possible.

I don't want to go to the store.

I got to talk to the shopkeeper.

I got to hear their opinions on shit.

And half the time the opinions are wrong.

Ah, gosh.

misinformed.

And then, God forbid it's broken.

You ever try to return something to a brick and mortar like independent shop?

There's signs.

No returns, no exchange.

Credit only.

Amazon.

Amazon doesn't have a blanket return anytime.

Dude, I could take a brand new stereo out, fucking fill that box with rocks and take a shit and it'd seal it and send it back, and they still credit my credit card.

Yeah, Target, the same.

I've gotten that box from Target.

Like, you're going to buy something.

There's something totally different in it.

You know what, though?

I pulled a lot of shit on fucking brick and mortar, though.

Some shit that I I like almost as good as that, though.

So it can be done if you're fucking crafty.

It's like, Mike, take your shit in this box.

History's going to bring it in.

It's just a monster.

Don't get it on your hands again.

You have a party to go to.

Come on, man.

A beer lunch.

But anyway, Burrow, let me tell you real quickly: don't settle for your save old couch.

Sell into a comfy new burrow sofa.

Get $75 off a new sofa and free one week shipping at burrow.com/slash T-E-S-D.

That's B-U-R-R-O-W

dot com slash T-E-S-D for $75 off a new sofa.

Get your swatches.

All right.

Get your swatches.

Did you buy, uh, did you wear swatches in the 80s, Ming?

Oh, yeah, yeah.

I still have them.

I kept them.

What's a swatch?

Yeah, remember those plastic watches?

Swatch watches.

Remember they were all the rage?

Yeah, everyone had one.

All the time.

Yeah, they got bought by Fossil or Fossil bought them, and now they're everywhere.

Swatches.

Swatch stores.

Yeah.

I haven't owned a watch since fifth grade or maybe even third grade.

I had a Superman watch.

Yeah, I don't need to fucking

give your wrist a rash or some shit or something.

It was just a big old,

especially in my little hand, was just like this gigantic Superman watch.

But yeah, I've never owned a watch since then.

Yeah, you do have delicate wrists.

My wrists aren't that big either, though.

Like, my wrists are kind of small.

I don't know, like, you get, you see, guys that, like, they have those.

Troy's one of those, like, stocky, beefy guys that has, yeah, that has a wrist of.

Troy looks like, yeah, like he's been fucking lifting.

Yeah, he's like a stonemason or iron worker or some shit.

Really, all he does is sit around eating donuts all day.

Hey.

Speaking of which, Q, I was wondering, as a firefighter,

do you jump in on this frivolity or do you stand up for the fat fuck firefighter who is being taunted?

347-pound smoke eater.

I didn't know they call you guys smoke eaters.

Yeah.

Suing his fellow Long Island firefighters for razzing him about his weight.

He was relentlessly harassed about his size and even had

his life-saving equipment tampered with by cruel colleagues.

Okay, where he serves it's uh Hapog?

Hapog?

Long Island?

Long?

Hapog Long Island fire department.

Where he serves as a volunteer firefighter employed as a maintenance worker.

Have a donut, they taunted while calling him a cow or a fat fuck.

They also haranged him for taking up two seats in the fire truck.

And he joined in 2017, presumably after passing a mandatory physical exam and an agility test, blah, blah, blah.

Coworkers joined that he would break the pool table if he leaned on it, consigned him to a broken recliner to sit in, and they said for everyone to call him Billy Bob.

Is there a protocol for like you join the force?

Can you call it the force?

You can if you want.

The department.

Department.

And let's say you let yourself go.

Is there like

a yearly physical?

They'll put you on light duty.

So this guy, even at his advanced weight, I don't know.

I don't know the exact details here.

I'm just talking from experience.

You're going to leave your life in the hand.

What if you're in a situation where you need that guy to be able to quickly get to you and he's that big?

I mean, that don't sound right to me.

Yeah, like if he's in the house fighting the fire with you and he happened to notice a mini fridge, suddenly your life is not as important, right?

Sure, right.

He doesn't know what's in there.

Mini fridge.

I doubt they're doing it for no reason.

And not for nothing.

Isn't there a better way, though, than the way they treated him?

No, No.

I got to tell you, man.

What happened?

I was at the fucking, I had 50 guys from my firehouse there at the party, right?

Right.

And right away, it's like, look at this fat fuck.

Like, it's just the way you go.

It's the firehouse though.

Oh, you're not going to sue?

You're not going to sue.

Sue?

I don't think they would.

At your big day, they're calling you fat.

They should.

They should.

Why?

You're not on the department anymore, though.

It doesn't matter.

You can still razzle.

It doesn't matter.

You're still a fire.

Yeah, like if you're a marine or something.

Like, we don't have that that

fraternal type thing.

I'm a retailer.

I have a little bit of.

What the fuck?

All you guys are ready to hang yourselves.

Amazon, Amazon.

You know, just

because you don't have a fraternity, doesn't it?

I don't.

I don't have a brotherhood.

Who are your retail brothers?

Tell me who you

fraternize with.

Get them.

The mic if he shows up and looks like, oh, I was stony.

You know, we commiserate.

We talk about how we want to fucking, you know, take it to fucking Amazon, make them feel it, let them take it in the ass once in a while.

Let Amazon take it in the ass?

Yeah.

Jack, have those discussions.

Jack's like, they fuck you too.

They fuck you in the ass, too.

Jack's right now.

Our 90-year-old Lambs are super mild.

You own half of Redback.

You think he's sweet?

You think Amazon of Redback?

Yeah, pretty much.

But let's go back to this heavy set fireman.

If he passes the physical every year,

how can they do anything to him?

If he's capable and there's no signs, I mean, look, fucking William the refrigerator Perry fucking won a Super Bowl.

Nobody said that he was too fat.

I'm sure a lot of people.

His nickname was the refrigerator.

I mean, what do you think that meant?

Well, I mean, but he was still capable of playing at a.

Well, that's why I said I don't know what all the facts are, but I do know this.

If getting called fat bothers you to the point that you want to have a lawsuit, you do not belong in a firehouse.

You don't.

That's more egregious than being a fat fuck to begin with.

You have to, have to be able to take that.

Does that have that sick skin?

Have to.

Even in 2019, we've got to move away from that kind of thing.

Everybody is.

Not everybody.

When they move away from that, is when you're going to see,

it's going to ruin everything.

Q fat-shamed half the people at the beer launch.

You think he's going to take advantage of that?

Yeah, I'm not sure.

Like, drink up, thanks.

Set it on my soup.

I'm not sure how taunting your brothers is going to make a better,

like I'm going to tell you exactly why.

If you can't take me calling you a fat fuck, or I can't take being called a fat fuck, if you're that fragile, then how the fuck am I supposed to trust you in a fire when something goes down?

You fucking, your skin is that thin.

What if you see a kid that's bleeding out?

Why can't all of you be that thin?

Yeah, it's like, it's like you, you need to have a fucking certain mentality to deal with the job, to deal what you see in that job.

I'm going to work.

I'm trusting you with my life.

If you're the type of guy that gets all fucking weepy over a fat joke,

is there a line about jokes, though?

Is there a line then?

Sure.

I mean, well, it might not line.

So I think it was beyond jokes, they're saying it was like harassment.

They're like, here's a broken recliner.

You cannot fuck with anybody's equipment.

That's.

Yeah, you said they fucked with the safety equipment.

That's that's then they're they're wrong there.

You do not fuck with another men's equipment or woman's equipment.

Right.

Yeah.

You know, you don't fuck with it.

No.

That's that's crazy.

That he's me laughing at female firefighters.

Like, I haven't

1% of what it takes to do it.

No.

Yeah.

So, so the name calling, I'm not.

I've kind of eliminated the name calling at the stash between, you know, get him and Mike.

I've said, you know, like.

That's because they can't take it.

One of them can't take it.

Yeah.

If seven years on TV didn't prove it.

Really?

You laid down rules?

Like, hey, guys, I was like, it's got to stop.

I don't want to fucking have this conversation anymore.

It's over.

We're not going to fucking

rib each other because some of us can't take it.

Plus,

whenever we say rib, Giddam gets real excited.

He gets singers in, man.

He knows his mind.

He's on fire.

Yeah,

he's good at it.

Again, at the beer launch, he looked.

He looked good.

He looked good, but

it was was

sad in a way for me because people are like, Giddam, you look good, Giddam, you look good.

And when people say like, oh, you look good,

it's only because relative to every other time they've seen you, you don't look good.

That's really why they're saying it, pretty much.

You know, but he was dressed up,

you know, looked nice, but he seemed so earnest.

Like, if somebody was like, hey, you look good.

I'm like, oh, thanks.

And in my mind, I'm like, you fucking lying cunt, you know, but Giddam seemed very earnest and able to receive those compliments.

Like, he's like, thanks, thanks.

Like, he was just so sincere.

Yeah.

You know, he really, like, you would have, as his surrogate father,

you would have been very proud of him.

He handled himself really well.

Oh, good.

It's nice to hear.

Yeah, I haven't spoken to him since

the beer date.

I was proud of him.

How did he get up there?

Because at one point, you were like, oh, I would have sent a car for you.

Well, because that's the other thing.

I was like, I assumed he was going to get hammered and like like try and drive home.

So I was like,

you know, if you need to stay at my place, that's fine.

If you need to, but because who knows when you start drinking, but he but he didn't not drink to excess.

He, I really never saw him with a beer in his hand.

Yeah, me neither.

No, I mean, only because you had to be.

He knew he had a long ride.

What's that beer he drinks?

Oh, Natty.

Natty Light or whatever.

Whatever.

Tall one.

Right.

Because he, oh, he did try the beer because at the end of the night, he got a good single me.

He goes, man, he goes, I got to tell you, he goes, I really like the beer.

And he stops.

He goes, it'll never be as good as Natty Light.

He goes, but it was pretty good.

And I was like, oh, man, that's pretty funny.

Ming, I happened to notice your underwear before, and I guess Myundi's new print this month must have been two brown hand stains.

Wait, no, no.

Mike came to work today, correct?

Yes.

Did he have brown hands?

He was looking at his hands a lot.

And I think he didn't look brown.

He strangled one of his family members.

I I was just wondering, like, you know, I was like, couldn't he go to the beer lunch?

Like, could he make it to work on Monday, though, two days after the incident?

Would it be amazing if, like, his hair was falling out and his teeth got all soft and shit?

Turpentine poisoning.

Okay.

I was like, well, I never heard of that.

You don't believe this is going to be a good thing.

No, no, no, I definitely believe it, but I thought...

Do you believe

it's a good enough excuse, or do you think he should have came up with something better?

I think he should have gone.

personally.

Or answered the...

I got to say, probably nobody's surprised that you don't answer it anybody.

He knows you're not going anyway, so it doesn't really matter.

But Mike, I'm surprised he didn't.

He was going, though.

He told me he was going to go.

No, why not say you're going?

It seemed to me like he had

every

ambition to go on Friday with the last time I spoke to him.

I did wonder, too, like,

how much, I could not.

It's very difficult hanging out with Q and Sal and those guys.

in that loud and that busy of an atmosphere because you're constantly thinking of shit to say and like wouldn't this be funny but

you can't do it it's it's too busy And I was wondering: if Mike did come

and he relapsed on your beer,

relapse on your beer.

Yeah, do you feel a certain level of responsibility?

Because you invited him to the party.

Yeah.

And the next thing you know, he's thrown away 20 or so.

Would you send him to passages?

Yeah, would you get him like a super expensive, like, affleck-level remote?

Yeah, like the like, you know, flipping.

You would have to, man.

Feel like every night.

Yeah, you're an asshole.

You're a fucking awful.

And then, like, with

the sober living partner for a year after, you got to pay for the beer.

Yeah, you got to.

Did he pay for the beer?

Yes.

Well, no, no.

He was coming in to be a guest bartender, but he got soused pretty fast.

It's like, damn, this is good beer, man.

He's like, my God, QA.

God damn, this IPA is going to be...

Yeah, I mean, he's a friend, so I'd have to do whatever I can to save my pop.

Oh, boy.

Oh, my God.

You didn't make him drink it.

No, that's the right answer.

Yeah, that is a good answer.

Who doesn't like the smell of pumpkin spice?

The leaves are crunchy.

The breeze is crisp.

It's officially onesie season.

Is it?

And officially fall.

Fall means to go back to school, back from vacation, everything.

Die said.

But fall is a time to get soft.

It's time to get cozy.

It's time to cuddle up.

Everybody, like, once it gets cold, people are like, I do not want to go outside.

I just want to hang out and watch TV and not be bothered by the outside world.

They want to hibernate, kind of.

Really?

I think you're projecting your thoughts on the whole rest of the population.

Really?

I've been looking for

a house lately.

All I care about more than the house is how much property surrounds it so you don't have to deal with anyone.

And then I can just stay in there and not have to go out.

You know what our area is like now, man?

You can't fucking go out at any time and it not be trafficky and annoying and all kinds of shit.

I mean, I say anything to New Jersey, man.

I know.

So if I can get a place where I rarely have to go out, yeah, the most densely populated out of any state.

Don't have to go out.

Amazon will bring it to me.

You know?

Or these Meandies, they'll deliver them right to me.

I visited the My Undy store in Los Angeles.

I saw your Instagram.

Yeah,

I did a little Instagram post about it.

Did they know you were?

No, no, I just took a picture outside of it.

Oh, okay.

Did the ant salute.

Nice.

Put it on the Gram.

Nice.

It's about 30,000 likes.

Nice.

Oh, wow.

Come on, man.

My's got to be happy with that.

They got to be.

You didn't have to do that.

That was just something you did on your own?

It wasn't some sort of contractual thing.

No, you know, Myondi's been with us so long that when i saw the store i was like hey man like they've got to be the longest sponsor right they've got to be that's why i'm getting edgar for christmas this year

i was like yeah i'm just like what does he need and what would he look awesome in uh meundis onesie no uh just the regular meundis because i'm like what the fuck am i gonna get this guy i get him a book every year

Buy him rope.

He never uses it.

So I'm like, yeah, I'll get him Miundis because they're fucking worth far more than money.

When they say they're soft, they're softer than foam on top of your pumpkin spice latte.

Okay, here's some new ones for you guys.

See which ones you like.

They mean they're softer than your favorite hoodie.

Ooh, not a lot of thought put into that one.

Softer and cozier than drinking a warm mug of hot apple cider.

Softer than fall things.

You get the idea.

No, not really.

Miundis are designed to be the softest thing you've ever put your body into.

Available in sizes extra small to fat firefighter.

What's Edgar's size?

You're going to have to ask that.

How are you going to pose that question without him knowing?

Well, I'm like Edgar, which way you dress.

So, Dad, I was just wondering:

what size underwear are you?

Can you do that?

Can you do that without him knowing that you're up to something?

I was wondering the other day, if I walked by my parents' bedroom and they were having sex, but they were both moaning my name, how would I react to that?

When did you have this thought?

I'm praying I can run and get the lube and get back before they finish.

So, anyway, there's new prints every Tuesday, so you never run out of ways to express yourself.

VIP member, wait, plus members get an exclusive print at the beginning of every month.

The prints are fun, but also classic.

They don't always play by the rules, mang.

We like that.

Rebellious underpants.

We won no rules.

They just launched a white

after Labor Day.

Miyandis has a great offer for my listeners, our listeners.

For any first-time purchasers, you get 15% off in free shipping.

This is a no-brainer, especially since they have a 100% satisfaction guarantee.

So to get 15% off your first pair, free shipping at 100% satisfaction guarantee, go to meundis.com/slash T-E-S D.

That's meundis.com/slash TESD.

They're worth the money.

Get them.

You can be skinnier, fat.

They're for all of us.

Decline of Western Civilization.

I had an idea while I was watching it.

Decline of Western Civilization is a movie about metal from the mid-80s.

And we were talking about a little earlier.

It's like you think back to that time when we were into metal quite a bit.

We had our long hair and our leather jackets and shit.

I'm looking at these people and I'm like, I'm still, I still don't feel like we were a part of that,

you know?

Like, we might have gone to shows and shit or Murphy's Law or whatever, but like these guys, like they were living it, these like these LA guys.

And every single one of them is,

aside from, you know, the Mustaine and some bigger names, but there are people who are like, I'm going to make it.

And they're like, well, what if you don't make it?

They're like, I am going to make it.

And everyone's certain that they're going to make it.

And a lot of the people that said that did not make it.

What point do you give up?

At what point are you like, fuck it?

You're hungry.

You got nowhere to live.

The second you give up is the second that you're not going to make it.

Or the second that when someone's like, why do you want to do this?

And they're like, I want money and I want girls.

And their hair is teased up.

So, I mean, it's fucking ridiculous that we were into this shit at all.

Like, it is, it had to have started the transgender movement.

So many of these guys look like fugly women.

Yeah.

It's like, what are you fucking kidding me?

And then the women, like, it's like Manson, like Marilyn Manson.

You take that

makeup off and you're like, holy shit, look at the mug on this guy.

And so many of them were like that.

I guess that's why they put on so much makeup.

But some of them you could not hide.

But it worked for some of them.

Some of them, not so much.

If you went to Chris Holmes from WASP, that was his

interview.

I felt sad for him.

I think making it, though, it has different definitions, though, because making it does not mean going and getting a job

at Arclight Cinema.

That's not making it for those.

Like a guy like Dave Mustaine, you know, hitting it.

Mustaine was in it.

Mustaine did not say anything about getting rich or girls.

He's dead serious.

He's not joking around.

He doesn't think he's fucking funny.

The least funny people on earth are metal guys from the 80s.

They laugh at all their own jokes.

None of them are funny.

The people that are serious are

Dave Mustaine.

Like the people who you're like, wow, these guys are awesome.

Those are the series.

But those guys are true artists.

They're not in it for,

they're in it to create something.

Right.

And, you know, maybe the other guys were not

fully invested on that side.

They had more baser dreams of just getting gals and money.

And

because you can't say that Alice Cooper wasn't theatrical.

But he wasn't.

He wasn't glam.

But he was very theatrical.

He had made it decades before that movie, though.

So I wouldn't even use him as an example.

Lemmy was in it, too.

Yeah.

Lemmy was in it.

And if you are not, like, if you weren't around at that time, I don't see it being enjoyable.

Because, like, they play a lot.

Like, they play a full two or three Lizzie Borden performances.

I'm like, oh, my God, enough of this shit already.

Oh, that was the other thing.

There was this thing called,

it was a program called Back in Control.

And it was basically to de-metal kids who were too into metal.

Too metal.

Too metal.

And they showed like a little bit of it.

Did it work?

It had to have worked for some people.

I mean, I guess it's the same as like the

gay conversion therapy, right?

They're trying to convert you.

They're like, they just don't want you to wear the studded.

Yeah, exactly.

They don't want you to be who you are.

Can I say something that could be controversial?

Please.

I don't like black people.

It's like, what does that have to do with metal?

Don't you think, though, that there isn't a call for that in this day and age with like derapping kids?

Because, I mean, they're going out.

Derrap them?

Yeah, D-Rapping because they're going out doing the drive-bys.

Going out, like, you know.

Are they?

What is this?

1993?

Like, what are you talking about?

Boys in the hood.

When the fuck was the last time you heard about it?

You're kind of killing us on the street.

Go look up Chicago right now.

Go look at what's going on in Chicago.

It's not white suburban kids listening to rap.

It's not even black suburban kids.

That's what I'm saying.

But I think

I'm talking about we let kids who are so into rap and that lifestyle may be having to derap.

I don't think think rap's like that anymore.

It is not gangster.

It's like mumble rap.

You're like, I don't even know what these guys are saying.

It's all the same.

I know it's.

They don't rap about violence.

They don't rap about

selling drugs and debasing rings.

I'm sure they do, but

I don't think that's the popular form of rap anymore.

It's too play-down.

What are they rapping about now?

Who fucking knows?

I won't listen to that shit.

Every single, there was a car that drove by the house the other day with, and so many white suburban people have this garbage music, like with with the auto-tune shit,

so loud and bassy.

Christian, what the fuck?

You're a kid.

What's going on with this shit?

Like,

where's the good music?

I'm in the same boat as y'all.

And how do you feel about Walt not liking black people?

I'm not happy about it.

I'm not happy about it.

I want to save you.

That's not cool.

I want to save these kids.

Oh, the white savior over here.

Hey, Jesus, what's up?

Because, I mean, they're.

So it's like that, huh?

Okay.

They see

the glamorization of the violence and degradation of women and stuff.

It's tough.

Do you listen to rap, Christian?

Not modern hip-hop, no.

No.

I don't like it.

Do you listen to the old gangster stuff?

I do enjoy a lot of more old-school hip-hop than I do most modern stuff.

But even now.

Doesn't make you want to go on a drive-by?

No.

Natural Born Killers made me want to go on a drive-by.

I have no experience in drive-bys.

I heard that song.

I'm like, I want to shoot someone.

You need

to rap.

I think the problem might be Brian Johnson in this situation.

You can't win a rap other than that.

Yeah, I don't know.

That would be the same, though.

It's like, did metal influence us?

No, but it did influence some people.

I mean, to do shit that you shouldn't have been doing.

We know two fuck-ups who were so into metal that they were doing really fucked up shit.

I know what you're talking about.

You don't even want to talk about it.

Really fucked up shit.

They were so into metal, into the fucking satanic metal.

And I was like, they were scary.

And they were like, you knew you couldn't fucking really hang with them only for like a second when you saw them on.

you wouldn't want to either where are they today

probably dead or in jail yeah definitely or in a mental institution but they love their fucking satanic metal just like i did but i knew it was science it was like fiction they took it too far yeah yeah they were like a musical movie not real

yeah some a lot of people can't distance themselves from the art and real life though you know a lot of people can but some people can't well those are the people you got to worry about like now you got to worry about them i mean i think as a society, we should be a little bit worried about, you know, about young, impressionable kids.

So you're for demeddling them.

Depends on what it means to demeddalize somebody.

You know what I would do these days?

I would de-Snapchat these guys.

Any guy who's taking a picture with a filter, you better be fucking gay.

Otherwise, there's something wrong with you.

Because gay guys are like into that stuff.

That can't be for you.

All gay guys.

Not all of them.

Yeah.

But if you're doing it.

Sure.

Well, the argument would be, I guess, what we're learning is that straight guys are into it too.

Are they?

It sure doesn't seem that way.

No, I think it's guys that are obviously gay, but I don't want to say anything.

Which I say, fuck you then.

I understand that.

Coward.

I know the point you're trying to make.

I think that should be a coming out move.

Like, if you're like, I don't know how to tell people I'm gay, you just post a picture on Snapchat with a fucking filter on your face of a dog's nose.

I just keep going in case my comment was too controversial.

He's helped me out here.

Always.

Always.

They're a good friend.

I was talking to somebody at the beer launch the other day, and they were like, at first, they did not like me because they when they met you that day, no, no, no, no, this is a person who's been around for a while.

This is a pant that's been around for a while.

No, but somebody said something about your mom.

I was so proud of her when she said it.

I'll tell you in a second.

Um, wait, what was I just talking about before?

People don't like me.

Someone hated you.

Oh, somebody hated me, but was like,

that's not a carried away.

I'm not talking about my parents,

I'm talking about a listener.

No, she was like, I just wasn't sure about you because some of the things you said, but then as I got to know you and then met you,

I was totally fine with anything you said.

It was very bad.

I'm also cool.

No, she's cool because I said, um, I asked her, I was like, Okay, you go into the bathroom, right?

And you gotta see Q's mom.

It's unbelievable.

She's like the fun mom, like older lady at the party.

She's only one on the dance floor.

Yeah, she's dancing.

Dancing around.

She's real happy.

Meanwhile, his dad is like getting CPR in the corner because no no one like there's mirrors under his nose.

He's not your mom.

He doesn't even blink.

Doesn't even blink.

And I said, let's say, I said to Mary Beth, I said, let's say you go in the bathroom and Q's mom is in there and she's dancing around and she's

in the bathroom.

She just can't stop dancing.

And then you happen to notice a couple lines of Coke

on the counter.

I was like, do you, who do you tell someone?

And she's like, well, I would tell you.

I said, and then you expect me to tell Q.

And she's like, like, yeah.

And I said, okay.

What if before you even get to leave, she kind of like stands in your way?

And she's like, Come here, come here, come here, I got a party favor for you.

And she's got like some Coke on the end of her pinky nail.

She's puts it in her face.

No, it's not her nail.

And she puts it up by her nose.

I was like, do you just do a little bump?

And she's like, yeah.

I was like, you're awesome.

Do you send your mom the passages when you find out?

Yeah.

I think my mom should enjoy.

She enjoyed it.

She's like, I had the most annoying roommate.

His hands were all brown.

Shall I steve Dave?