#419: Silver Ain’t Bad

It's never a good time if you piss your pants, unless you're a baby or senile.

That's right.

right.

You tell your beer meister that you lost money, so you don't have to peg her.

Rather just

rather just should have cut a better deal, beer meister.

Tell them, Steve, Dave.

Hello, and welcome to this week's edition of Tell'em, Steve, Dave.

I think I scared a lady at the pharmacy today.

Last week I went in.

She works there.

She's an old lady, like

older, I guess.

Like mid-60s.

And last we had a shirt on that

I wore on Comic Book Man.

It's a TV.

It's a 666 on it, and it has like some the seven deadly sins.

Yeah, I know the shirt.

And when she saw it, like, I saw her face change.

She's a God-fearing woman, maybe.

not maybe she let me know immediately that she's like oh six six i don't like that

and uh

i was like no why not she's like oh it's just that's bad news she's like why are you wearing that and i said

and i said well it's not really about

the devil i said it's about tv being evil and causing all these

these sins

And she really wanted to hear that explanation.

She was like, okay.

That was your forked tongue talking.

She knew that Satan had you and was just telling her, trying to convince

her that it was harmless.

I saw her outside the pharmacy.

I was up in a tree.

No, but then I saw her again.

And she's like, you know, ever since I saw you with that shirt on, she's like, that number keeps coming up as if like I had done something.

To cause it.

She's like, I saw it on the register the other day.

And when I was at the food store, the grocery store, I saw it there.

and there was like one other example i don't remember and i was like

all right it's time for a different pharmacy

but i like the guy a lot and it's not even like like i wasn't offended or whatever but i thought it was amusing that like because the way she's looking at me is like

are you him are you the devil

behind me could have had a t-shirt on

i don't know

should i be offended No, I don't think she'd be offended.

In fact, the way you described it, like she was being friendly.

Yeah, she'd be like, but, you know, you're evil.

He sure it's evil, not you.

That's right.

People have still not gotten to see these tailored pants.

Well, when can they?

Is this a pair of them?

Right now?

No?

They might be.

I don't even remember.

I'd hope not.

You won't be modeling them?

Well, you have to remind me to wear them when we do a video for the Patreon and I'll later and then we can talk about it.

But yeah,

I don't know if I've worn them on a video yet.

I will, though.

It's getting cooler soon, so I'll have to retire the shorts and just go full pants for the winter.

In case anyone's wondering, yes, there is a carbon monoxide leak, which is why we all sound like we just woke up or are just going to sleep.

Well, we have to go.

You're like no energy.

Yeah.

Yeah, where I'm coming.

That's where my threat's shot.

My throat's shot.

I did a lot of screaming today.

Yeah.

I just closed up the store.

You know, I

I work today, too.

Oh, yeah, where'd you work?

Up in New York City.

Big Apple.

I do a show with I-Rock once a week.

Yeah, E-Rock was

one of the first guys when we started comic book, man.

Iraq was Eric Nagel, was one of the first guys.

Oh, I know, I know Eric Nagle.

Yeah, yeah.

Oh, you're a guy?

Is this a pain gig?

Yeah.

Oh, then you're genuinely.

Why haven't you promoted it at all?

I don't know.

But don't you think that people listening to this...

Why is it?

Doesn't Iroch iraq ask you to promote it well yeah he does but it's like a subscription thing i'm like shut up iraq no no i'm like all right i will but then you like i talk about it on twitter you know like i'll tweet stuff but i haven't talked about it on this show yet

i was at first i wasn't sure if we were going to continue it but what's the angle of the show uh it's like pop culture stuff

that he's into no i mean i like movies and tv so i can talk about that mostly i kind of tease him and try to goad him into saying things he doesn't want to say.

You know, that part's fun.

Kevin was on today.

He was talking about He-Man.

Oh, yeah, yeah, that was big.

Kevin was in studio?

Skyped in.

Skyped in?

Yeah, Skyped in the talk.

That's fucking cool, man.

Yeah.

You're a big master's at universe.

Back in the day, it was one of the big three for me.

Who was your favorite character in the He-Man universe?

It's going to be unfortunate in retrospect, but I was always a big Orco guy.

Why?

Because I didn't know what the fuck he was.

I was like, what is under the hat what is going on it was a wizard right yeah but he was like this weird floating like weird he was like a mascot but wasn't he like comedy relief yeah well that's probably why i liked him oh okay i thought you would gravitate more towards like you know prince prince adams prince adam no i i i like the weirder ones like the the freaky ones because the toys were always so cool like the ones that were like a battering ram or the one that was like half man half robot and stuff like that so for me it was really i was i got into it because of the toys toys.

But once I started watching the cartoon, I just love that orco, man.

But I figured you, as a cat lover, would gravitate towards that, that big green cat.

Did you love cats when you were that young though?

I like cats, but I didn't have any because my parents wouldn't let me have any.

Yeah, and now you're like, I'll show you.

When you came your own man, you got fucking 50 cats when I'm over there.

I'm like, oh my God.

It looks like the Catly and The Simpsons throwing cats at people.

I got turkeys now, too.

Got some turkeys.

Started feeding the neighborhood turkeys, and now they just live in my yard.

Who set that up?

Did you set that up, or did I rock set that up?

E-Rock did.

Well, I-Rock worked at Anthony Coomia's studio, Compound Media, and

I'd done Anthony's show a few times, and they were looking for more content, and I-Rock wanted to do a show, so it was like, hey, you want to try it?

Yeah.

No, no, I meant who set up the interview.

Oh, with Kevin?

Oh, I rocked.

Oh, I rocked.

I literally did not find out Kevin was on until like 10 minutes before I walked in, and I had no idea it was about He-Man, which he did give us an exclusive.

Can Can you give it to us now?

I probably can.

I mean, it's out there, so it wouldn't be as exclusive.

Well, it's live, that show.

It's going to be called She-Man, and he's going to live in Castle Gay Skull because it's 2019, and everybody needs to be included.

So I don't know if that dampens your enthusiasm, Q.

Sorry.

But only excites it.

What?

That you guys are making your own gay version?

No, we're not making it.

Kevin is.

That's the exclusive he gave us.

Are you drunk on your own?

I'm not doing that.

I had to answer text.

So he's saying he's going to make it gay?

I think that's great.

Yeah, you love it.

I don't know if it already was, though.

No, it's awfully homoerotic, but I don't think it's.

I'm not saying it as a joke, but I thought they just did something recently, like an incarnation, maybe

oh, She-Raz has her own show in Netflix.

I don't know what the

political thing.

Yeah.

She was,

you know.

She's lesbian?

Yeah.

I hope so.

Good.

I think so.

I hope so.

I think that's great.

Yeah, that's not true.

It's not going to be She-Man or Castle Gay Skull, but I would watch that.

I would watch that too, but I am excited to see what Kevin comes up with on this.

It's a good fit, I think, actually.

Was Kev a big Message on the Universe guy growing up?

He said that he was, but he was.

He bought that from us, didn't he?

Well, he brought it up a couple times on comic book men.

Did not really make it common knowledge amongst us when we were were friends, like just rewarded, right?

Yeah, but he said that most of the reason he doesn't talk about it is because the other stuff he talks about still has current incarnations and current stuff.

But he-man is like, what am I going to say about he-man?

Right, aside from like nostalgic point of view, you know.

But he seemed to know a hell of a lot about it.

Orko?

I'm sure he was like an alien of some sort.

I see.

An alien saucer.

Because it's not in this.

It's an outer space or whatever, right?

It's like in another universe.

It's not in a.

Yeah, yeah i believe it's in another another galaxy or something

there's like two planets is there

i can't remember where skeletor lives skataris is that oh i forgot this he's a trolley

kev unveiled his new prince adam haircut too and that's how intuitive is

do you remember the movie with dolph lundren uh i only saw it like a couple of times yeah people it had kind of a cult following It wasn't as bad as people

thought it was going to be.

I think that's the new takeaway, right?

Is it's not as bad as you would think it would be.

Because you look at the pictures and you're like,

yeah, but there was, you know, very little budget.

It didn't come out.

Like, wasn't really a big release.

It kind of came out like under.

I felt like they missed the train a little bit.

It's weird how

your age group, you know, like you guys versus us, how different they like didn't watch he-man, don't care about wrestling, don't care about Transformers, don't care about Transformers or Voltron or I got hooked to a consumer as

a thundercat, any of that shit.

Yeah, you're like we have ours, Voltron, we have ours, but it's just cooler, though.

Planet of the Apes,

you think that's cooler than

everything?

And you think that we anything

just a bunch of monkeys running around, but sure, go ahead.

Oh, yeah,

they blue.

You think it's better than Transformers?

It's way better.

Come on, man.

Bumblebee

So cool.

He was one Transformer.

And he was awesome.

And who are the two little ones that were like peeing all over everything in the first movie?

Oh,

that's not Cannon.

I'm going to do that.

We can look at some of the Planet of the Apes movies if you guys want.

Oh, which one?

How about Escape?

How about the Tim Burton one?

All right.

Speaking of movies, though.

But I like Planet of the Apes.

I mean, you guys got me into Planet of the Apes more than anything else.

I was never.

You did?

How so?

No, because you guys over the years talked about it and stuff like that.

So I'd be like, oh, let me check it out.

Speaking of movies, though, what's your reaction?

I'm sure you must be devastated to hear about Sony and Disney fighting over Spider-Man, Spider-Man leaving in the Marvel universe.

I have that pulled up right here.

Will you join Jeremy Renner and Kevin in demanding

Kevin's volume?

I saw Kevin was the second voice to jump in and be like, Sony, give it back to Disney or the MCU.

It has to change my outlook on this.

Because I was just like, who the fuck cares?

That was who cares?

You're sitting next to a dude.

It sounds like it's a negotiating tactic, and then I was just like, all right.

Yeah.

You're sitting next to a dude who definitely does not care and is like, wait, what's going on?

Yeah.

Like, I don't know.

All right, don't make another Spider-Man movie.

And he's not in that universe?

Oh, well.

Does that mean?

So, wait, so Disney can use Spider-Man.

No, they cannot at all.

Not anymore.

Okay.

So it's not like they can can include him in some movie, like ensemble cast movie.

And Sony can't use anyone else.

They can only use Spider-Man.

They can only use Spider-Man relations.

Spider-Man-related characters.

And it's

okay, like Rhino and the villains and the scorecast.

Gotcha.

So, how does this go forward with the big,

what was it, Coming Home or Far From Home?

Oh, I think.

And the big reveal hand with Jay Jonah.

Does that mean that now you got to start over, and that story's done now?

I think you kind of do because those characters were age five.

Remember they were in the snap and shit like that.

So if they can't, that's a weird thing not to reference in the rest of the movies.

Do you think that they'll just come to some sort of agreement?

The outcry and the pressure will be too much, too much heat to withstand Sony will have to, or somebody, Sony or Disney will have to relent and

cave.

Yeah.

You think Disney caves?

I think they both cave a little bit.

They both cave a little bit.

They have to.

Well,

how would Disney cave?

Because from my understanding, it's like they want Spider-Man and they're like, we'll pay you for it, but that's it.

Sony was getting 90% of the profits from anything, the Spider-Man movies.

Right.

And Disney now moving forward was like, okay, that agreement's over.

Now we want 50%.

And Sony was like, no.

So Disney was like, all right, we're out.

We're not going to work with Spider-Man no more.

Okay.

Yeah, I mean, I don't know how well Sony is doing, so they may have to keep that property and be like, oh, no, two people are fucking calling for a boycott.

Oh, it's more than two people.

But how do do you boycott Sony?

Everybody with their fucking boycotts.

Things aren't going my way.

Let me boycott something or someone.

I mean, we can fucking like entitled pussies, man.

The internet has to

have Spider-Man over here, not over there.

Let's throw our voice behind that.

Fucking 100 years ago, there were women who were like, motherfucker, we're going to vote.

But today, the fucking Amazon is on fire and Brazil can't fucking afford to put it out.

Nobody cares.

Nobody cares.

Think Jeremy Renner's out there with a fucking fire hose?

No way.

But that's what's coming.

Sounds like Amazon's on fire.

I just ordered shit.

That's funny.

It really has.

But you're asking, I don't know.

You can't see movies that in your mind, you're like, I would like to see that movie.

It's not even like it exists.

But what part of the fan outcry are you guys saying

is invalid?

Is it valid?

Or is not valid?

Well, Well, it's just like I'm all for making fun of everybody, but like at the end of the day, don't we all doesn't sound like it anymore, Kira?

What are you talking about?

It sounds like, yeah, there's a little bit of people with feelings.

You know,

I think you guys should.

This is a man who's about to start his own company

is afraid to go out on a limb and say that you think you're afraid of.

Well, I can say if you don't drink beer, go fuck yourself.

If you drink beer, then I care about Spider-Man as much as you do.

No, but

how is that any less silly than me getting upset about the Yankees you getting upset about the devils it's all the same very That's a valid point.

I was thinking so

I agree it's all fucking retarded sure Well, it is the thing and then you can make fun of it all I guess

if I'm going to get upset about a sports team a player leaving or or anything revolving around sports then I have to be able to just sit there and realize that people are going to get just as passionate about a fictional character here's a difference in a fictional universe.

Here's a difference though.

Like let's say the devils let a player go that you're like, why would you let them go?

Right.

It's happened for you.

Right.

That directly affects your team in terms of future play.

This really doesn't affect anything that is planned, right?

Well, Spider-Man was a big part of the Marvel universe, the movies.

So I'm sure people are like, well, now all that build-up.

He was in like Avengers movies and stuff like that.

He was in three Avengers movies and two Spider-Man movies all in Happen America.

So that's their player then.

Spidey's their player, and they're like,

he got this other team.

So they set up a lot of stuff.

Like, he was supposed to take over for Tony Stark.

Happy Hogan's dating his aunt.

There's a lot of storyline things that are now just going to get kind of a banana.

Another origin story won't hurt, will it?

This time, Uncle Ben will live.

That would be something.

That would be the only way you can get you in, right?

Would people be angry?

Hell yeah.

Really?

What the fuck?

Are you kidding me?

And he's black.

He lives.

And he's black.

People would be like, what the fuck?

No.

That's the movie I'd say.

I think that at this point, there's nothing that Sony could do.

If Sony takes dirt toys and go and makes war with Spider-Man, it doesn't matter how great that Spider-Man movie is.

People are going to be pre-determined to hate it.

Well, it's going to be Venom, right?

Now he's going to get to fight Venom.

That's the big thing.

He's already done that in Spider-Man 3 with Sam Raimi, right?

Yeah, but nobody remembers that.

How come?

Because kids today weren't even alive.

One, it wasn't.

All that matters is what's happened in the last five years.

Is that the world we live in?

Five years.

Five minutes.

How long is the Twitter feed last?

Yeah.

Already, Kevin, Jeremy Renner don't give a shit about this.

They've moved on.

Who's Jeremy Renner?

I guess he's in the movies.

Paul Hawkeye.

Okay.

How did Kevin and Jeremy Renner hook up?

Oh, I don't think they did.

Separate?

I think.

Yeah, separately.

Like, Jeremy Renner was yapping about it, and then Kevin lent his voice to the same argument, like, this stinks, and we're unhappy.

Well, I mean, it's obviously huge news, and it affects millions of people all over the planet.

Does.

Regardless of how silly I think it is, it's still significant to a lot.

My thing is, like, wait to see how it shakes out.

Like, they're saying we're still negotiating, so just.

Oh, did they?

I thought it was done.

They walked away.

Well, they were saying we're hopeful that we can work it out.

Now, Disney is facing some problems, you know, Galaxy's Edge, the Star Wars

theme park.

Yeah.

Have you seen it yet?

Have you gone?

I haven't.

The reason I didn't go is because I only had one day off and I was like, it's going to be too crowded.

That's the problem.

You should have gone because it hasn't been crowded.

And I hear the what do you think the reason is?

Do you know?

Well, I assumed everybody was going to kind of be like me where it's like people are holding back so the lines die down, but there are no lines because nobody's going.

You know what they focused on for this?

It's a fictional Star Wars planet.

Okay.

Well, they were all fictional, but yeah.

Right, but it's not like

an existing Star Wars planet.

Like, it's not like Tatooine or

Hoth or anything.

This is a fictional planet, and there are no classic Star Wars characters.

It's all the new shit.

Wouldn't the Millennium Falcon?

That is there.

That is there.

They got a Chewy.

I don't know.

They're really focusing.

No Darth Vader, no R2D2 and C3PO.

It's all the new stuff.

And the theory is it's because they don't want to pay Lucas because he still gets a little bit of money.

Just pay Lucas.

What nonsense?

Disney's fucking hardliners.

Man, you see what they did with Spider-Man.

They're like, okay, we got this agreement with Lucas that if we use characters he created, he gets a portion of it.

But if we use the characters that he created.

But he sold it flat out to them.

There's still a rumor out there that he has something in the contract that he gets for every toy sale or merchandising or theme park thing, he's getting

just giving it.

Could it be even?

What's wrong with Ray?

Could it be

wrong with Tylo Wren?

Tylo Wren?

What's his name?

What's his name?

No, Kylo, I can get behind.

Over Darth Vader.

Not over Darth Vader.

No.

Darth Vader's nowhere to be seen, apparently.

That's there's no point to this.

What are they doing?

This is like making Harry Potter.

Where's Harry Potter?

Oh, he didn't put him in.

Yeah, we got Ron.

You're like the Weasley brothers?

We got him over there.

There's a goblin who appeared in the background.

Yeah, that's just stupid.

That's really, really strange marketing.

I mean, I love, I like BB-8.

I think he's a good, fun, effective droid, but if I got a choice between the kings or.

Yeah, but if you're going to go and spend all this money to get to Disneyland and you're going to carve out time to get there, and all you're seeing is the new crap that's a bunch of shit you didn't want to see in the movie.

The crap that people have not fallen in love with, at least I don't think they've fallen in love with it.

Yeah, that Rose Cosplayer comes out and she's got those clips and she starts crying and telling me why I should fucking not have anything I have.

Oh, hold on.

Yeah, that sounds great.

What?

The beer company.

Remember to be here.

Brother!

That's right.

The big launch is coming up.

Yeah, you're right.

You're right.

You got to keep the darkness inside.

You're right.

You're right.

Let's go to the casino.

That's what I should do.

Are you sure you want to be the face of your company?

So it's just corporate greed then.

Like Disney's like, we want every last dime.

We don't want to pay you.

And we don't want to pay you.

And Stanley's daughter was like, and they didn't want to pay me.

Like, they don't want to pay anyone, I guess.

Disney?

Well, I guess it's all

board board members and people who,

like you said, corporate greed.

It's it all boils down to.

Yeah, no one could have treated my father worse than Marvel and Disney's executive, says Stan Lee's daughter, Julie Lee.

No, wait, wasn't she the one that was treating them really poorly and stealing from them and shit, allegedly?

She has no.

So one person treated him worse than Disney.

So she's on the defensive here.

I guess so.

She must be getting a cut of this

if it goes to Stan's Estate.

It seems like

she's just

from day one they have commodit commodity

commoditized.

I don't even know if this is spelled correctly.

Commoditizized, commoditized, whatever.

You know what I'm saying.

My father's work and never shown him his legacy,

never shown him or his legacy any respect or decency.

In the end, no one could have treated my father worse than Marvel and Disney's executives.

They don't know, though.

I mean,

they

own it.

They immortalize those movies.

I mean, they've made them, they treated them with absolutely the most ultimate respect of the characters.

And if you're not happy about the money you're making off of it, it's like that was the that's the deal that was signed.

Yeah, but like he didn't even own sour grapes all over the place.

Stan Lee signed away those rights decades long ago, right?

To be the basically the mascot of Marvel in the 70s and the 80s.

Yeah, I mean, if her point is like, fuck, I wish he had cut a better deal.

I understand.

I can't tell you how many ancestors I have.

I wish they'd cut better deals.

I don't know.

Is the world too greedy, Q?

Yes.

I think so.

Why did it take so long to answer that?

Because I want to really consider it from all angles.

And I think in those three seconds, I really were able to do that.

I really did.

Yeah.

Yeah, I think so.

I think so.

It seems like...

Why?

Why do you think it is?

Like, we can't take it with us.

So why are we so hell-bent to get every last bit we can?

I think it's down to fear, right?

Like you just want to be secure.

How more secure can

the people who sit on Disney's board be?

Well, if they ain't making money,

they're going to get chicken.

But also.

How can they not be making money?

You just said Star Wars land is fucking empty.

Oh, you mean the...

No, what'll happen is they'll...

They'll lose tons of money in that respect, but somehow they'll get a $90 million bonus at the end of the year because that's the way corporate America works, right?

Somehow they figure it out.

You don't have to pay people.

It's all a fucking game.

Well, there you go, man.

It's greed.

You better fucking study up on this when you're running your beer company.

You could tell your beer meister that you lost money, so you don't have to pay her.

Rather just

rather just should have cut a better deal, beer meister.

I actually give more money than people ask for.

I'm always like,

that's the kind of

across the board on this.

Somebody will come in and negotiate negotiate a salary with you and be like, oh, I want to get X, Y, and Z.

And you're like, how about X, Y, Z, and A?

Yes, that's what I do.

Really?

Why?

I find it, like, really, like...

I just think she's like, no, I mean X, Y, Z.

Quinn your zippers.

Your cocks all the way out.

I think it it people I think people like

feel

appreciated that way.

And it's like, I always look at it like that percentage, that extra percentage of what I'm giving them, is it going to change my life?

Probably not.

Is this a new

come-to moment?

Because I remember like, like,

you being

very

firm and like, you know, and being like, you wanted to maximize.

That was your thing.

You want to maximize, maximize, maximize.

Well,

what are you talking about?

That's ain't a bad way.

No, no, no.

There were people that worked for us directly.

Not working for us, but just what I mean.

That's what I'm talking about.

Like things we would do.

You were a very,

you were always the last one to go on board in terms of like, well, let's do it for this amount.

And you're like, well, we can do it for more.

Right.

You want, and you're like, you were, which is like, I respect you.

Well, I mean, I don't think I was ever like, let's go.

You're talking about valuing your own product and selling your product.

That's different from how, because that the consumer decides if they want to buy it.

Yeah.

So that's not up to me.

But it, but like Kara, who's running the beer company for me, like, if she gives me a number, it's like, to me, I just feel like if I give her more than that, then right off the bat, she's feeling invested and appreciated.

And I think she deserves it.

So

I mean, it might have been something I matured into because now, like, even like selling tickets for the event and stuff like that,

me, I'm just like, I don't care about making money, make it as low as possible so that people can get in and stuff like that.

And I didn't mean to in Bayo.

I just said, no, you were very firm and you had like, and I, you know, I respected that aspect of.

I think you should value what you're selling too.

You know what I mean?

That's all that's all that was.

Oh, that was what, a couple of years ago, too.

Did you see that trail of hundreds that that fell out of his ass a little way?

Just so you know where that came from.

yeah that may have been that may have been a pre-television queue um

probably yeah probably

all right i'm just saying i mean it's i mean that's just the way you got to be in business well you might have been talking back like in vinyl cast one but that was when i was like boxing them up and shipping them out you bet your ass i was holding that water

this

I was like, fuck this.

I want more.

I've seen you when you used to work at ViewScue, like

cutting up boxes and shredding paper, like you'd be in a windowless room all day.

You had a certain look in your eye when you came out.

When you left the sign place, you had a certain look in your eye.

You had that look after

tough.

And my parents boxing them up.

I had Stacy boxing them up.

The girl I was seeing at the time boxing them up.

It was like terrible.

But worth it.

Hey, they should have negotiated a better deal.

Your parents and

all the year old exes.

You're right.

He's got an army of ex-girlfriends.

All right, you dumb horse.

It's time to earn your keep.

Would you have it in you again today?

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I'd be like, no, it's just not worth it.

Like, dude, you don't have three days?

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What do you think,

a little fat news?

What do you think about a Weight Watchers app for kids?

I think you got to reframe that as a health app for kids because I think people really take offense to the dieting community nowadays.

They do, people got worked up about it.

It appears people get worked up about everything, so I'm just going to assume that

they got worked up about it that they get worked up about an app for children.

Yeah, this is called Curb, I guess.

Yeah, oh, Curbo.

I I thought it should have been carbo.

It sounds like you're celebrating your app.

I know you're curbing your appetite, but like carbo.

Well, like, no, carbo will come and get you when you're sleeping.

Like, you create this mythological like demon

that haunts you.

I like that.

Yeah, it said it wouldn't, it would offer its weight loss program for free to teens ages 13 to 17, and it angered many parents as well as eating disorder experts who felt it could give a rise to

obsessive and unhealthy behaviors in adolescence.

And then they just doubled down on August 13th.

The company rolled out Kerbo by Weight Watchers, a free nutrition and weight loss app for kids as young as eight and up to 17.

Everybody's mad.

I don't know.

Do they put forward a solution for childhood obesity or do they just don't shame them.

That's the solution.

Got you.

That's what you got.

That's in your toolbox right there.

Just don't shame them.

I look around, I drop Sage off to school, and she's one of them.

Kids that are too portly,

too chubby, too sedentary, you know.

They're too fat.

They are too fat.

And you can't get like...

Oh, I'm too fat.

Oh, I'm too fat.

You can't.

When something is a reality, you can't, you know, if somebody's bullying your kid or teachers are like, hey, fat.

So of course you get upset by that.

But if a company puts out an app and they're like, hey, this is for kids who eat too much, how could that possibly offend you?

Especially if you're not going to use it for your kid.

Because you're online and you need to show people.

Just stay offline and none of this is a problem.

How progressive you are?

Dude, I'm telling you,

I've been preaching this for three years now.

Stay offline.

None of this.

Weight watchers will never bother you.

Ever.

Weight watchers?

Nothing.

Nothing will bother you.

Except for real-life problems that everybody encounters in their day-to-day.

I'm doing Weight Watchers right now.

It's really fucking weird.

I thought I would do it.

Pam was a big Weight Watchers advocate in the 70s into the 80s.

And she had like this little pad she would write shit down on, and a scale.

I remember this little white scale, she would weigh shit out.

This bread slicer.

You could take one slice of bread and like cut it into two.

Something that would kill.

But Kevin's doing it too, right?

I believe so.

That's his big thing.

He's an ambassador.

So there's a stigma, though.

You're like, what am I going to have a fucking Tupperware party next?

You know, like,

that's the shit Pam did in the 70s into the 80s.

Yeah.

Just like count points and shit.

Equate it with the phrase Weight Watchers is equated with

mothers and like old.

Well, like, yeah.

I mean, from in my time, yeah.

I didn't know any dads who are on Weight Watchers.

Plenty of moms.

But the results...

aren't more important than

you're being perceived as hip or cool no i don't think that's anyone's perception of me although not true not true i'll bring that up later but you're but you're worried but you're saying though that like you're

no personally personally yeah it's just a weird thing yeah because it also never seemed to work for her you know like as much as she well i mean she may have been like uh cheating cheating a little bit oh you think you know maybe slicing a little bit more off the bread than she should have yeah she's like three quarters of a slice instead of half a slice

should call her and grill her right now.

But yeah, it seemed like she was forever on it and it never really worked.

But this thing with the app, it's pretty easy.

And you're not as starving as you think you would be.

And it does like, and this is why it might work for these kids because it does like in the beginning of the day, you're like, okay, I got 32 points of the guy.

I'm not going to eat a candy bar for 10 fucking points.

A third all day?

Not worth it.

Is it nice when you get to the end of the day and you have like 10 points left and you're like, fuck her?

And you'll just like get in there and have like a candy bar?

No, I still don't do that.

Yeah, I'm not doing that until the cruise.

I'm not going to eat poorly.

Well, no.

We're doing something soon, so I'm probably going to fall off the wagon a little bit.

Well, yeah.

It's understandable.

Sure.

So,

yeah, I don't see it as

if it's a parent who's going to make their kid feel bad, they're going to make them feel bad regardless, whether there's a fucking app or not.

You know?

Well, you don't care.

About what?

You don't care about Weight Watchers apps and kids.

Your kids are thin and they're out of school already.

No, I don't care.

It's just, I don't, I don't buy that

anybody should

be more worried about like

the name Weight Watchers having a you're still thinking of me being stigmatized.

Yeah, I don't get that.

You know,

that to me seems very

frivolous and

way too like.

Well, yeah, that's why I did it, and now I'm talking about it.

So

I guess the perception of me being cool is out the window.

As I cut that out,

if your girlfriend tells you that you're a cool guy, is that like your mom telling you you're a cool guy?

And has Debbie Flanagan ever told you that you're cool?

You are a sleepy motherfucker.

You got zero energy, bro.

I'm just thinking.

I just don't think.

Look at it from all angles.

I understand.

I don't think.

Your three seconds are up.

I don't think you can really take

what your girlfriend

tells about you.

That seems very unhealthy, though.

Wouldn't you just be like...

I subscribe to your philosophy.

I think she gets pissed because she's like, you never believe anything I say.

But that logic doesn't make sense.

She's with you.

So wouldn't the assumption be that she thinks.

So, like,

she's got blinders on.

She doesn't see all the things he does that aren't cool.

But

she thinks he's cool.

But who cares?

Like she looks like, but

I think she ignores or he willfully ignores anything

that in her mind will put a chink in that armor that he's not.

Oh, hey, you're racist.

That he's not cool.

I just think that she will refuse to acknowledge that, oh my God, I just saw him.

I just saw the way he moved or did something or or he um moved oh my god

and he's not cool and but she will never admit it to herself because she's she's all in but but i mean i don't know all in at this point yeah but you don't you gotta be but you but i don't think cool is like you've got to be a hundred percent

always like it'sn't cool you got to be always cool well i mean like even the fonts that got diarrhea sometimes like he got took a shit not that i knew that's i'm saying but you never saw it but what i'm saying is like i think it's like more of a ratio than like 100%.

Like, this guy's fucking cool.

Didn't the Fons do stupid shit?

I don't know if we should use the Fons as the litmus test.

I think that was that because that was a cartoon character, basically.

So who's a cool guy in real life?

Like, I would look at somebody like George Clooney, say, and I'd be like, he seems like a pretty cool guy.

Bought a bunch of his friends' motorcycles.

They went on a tour of Italy.

But the part that's not so cool is when he's like ragging on you to save Darfur or whatever the fuck.

It's like, oh, God.

Pick someone besides Clooney.

Jagger.

Jagger.

Jagger, didn't he sleep with his friend's wife and shit like that?

He's a rock star.

Right, but that's not cool, dude.

He did shit.

That's worse.

That's more heinous.

But you're making your false equivalency.

What I'm saying is he did shit that wasn't cool, and he's still cool.

Johnson, did he fucking, what's that video he made with David Bowie?

That's an awesome video.

That's an awesome video.

That's too iconic.

I wouldn't argue with that, but I would say it's not cool.

Why?

Are you fucking kidding me?

Are you a Bowie fan?

Yeah, I like Bowie.

You're a Jagger fan.

Probably more of a Jagger fan than a Bowie fan.

How could you not look at that and just be like, How talk about dancing in the streets?

How many kitschy is that?

Now they were fucking winking at the camera.

They didn't think that I was

out of your mind.

You're two fucking badasses and

guys are on the cutting edge of fashion

and music.

Didn't know that they were winking at the camera and being like, let's just fuck with all these asses.

Not at all.

I don't think they knew.

Crazy.

I don't think they knew.

Oh my God.

So you knew at the time in fucking whatever year it was, 1985, 1984?

1985.

I knew I was like, oh man, you're having a laugh at all the fucking people who are going to be like, oh, my God,

they're limp wristed or whatever.

Limp wristed.

I'm not sure I'm buying this.

What?

You are kind of videos on the title team.

These are fucking gods in the rock industry, right?

For sure.

You don't think that they realized that they were going to put out something so kitschy and so ridiculous and just laugh all the way to the bank?

No, I think they thought they were awesome in that moment.

I don't know.

I think you don't give those geniuses enough credit.

But either way, like they slept on a 14-year-old.

What I'm saying is, like, they did shit that wasn't cool, and they're still cool.

I never fucked a 14-year-old.

Don't even point at me.

No.

So, my point is, did not.

My overall point is

even when I was

past it now.

I don't, I want, there has to be no mistake.

Everybody Brian slept with has been legal.

As far as you know.

My point is, cool people do want cool things sometimes.

For instance, this.

So you have to.

Great song, by the way.

Tay, what was wrong with it?

You think that he...

Come on.

I mean, this is corny as shit.

Come on, dude.

That's a rock guard, Rock Guard, right?

That's a cool guy.

What makes you think I'm a roof like that?

Oh, look at it.

He's got his hands in his pocket.

He's just auction.

Look at that.

He's like a cat.

Dude.

These are two fucking drug addicts.

Yeah.

These are two egomania, egotistical drug addicts.

He was on drugs, too.

My point is,

cool people do uncool things.

Look, I think.

Look at these guys.

They're out prancing each other.

They are capering about like nobody's busy.

And I love these two.

Like, I love these two.

Their music's changed my life.

But this is a fucking misery.

Walt that I've known you.

Walt, how long have I known you?

Have I ever been that close to you ever?

And I did that once in a bar in New Orleans.

But this is probably, they have one free night.

They got one free night.

They can't really get into a really crazy in-depth video.

So they got, like, what can we do?

Well, like, I don't know, let's do something that totally isn't.

You cannot wear that shirt.

Which one, that green shirt?

There's any number of things they can do.

That's an 85.

That's a fucking chess king.

I mean, he also weighs 90 pounds with his belt cinched so tightly.

But you're going to sit there.

I know you're a good guy.

You're a good friend.

But you're going to sit there and tell me you don't think his girlfriend is completely and 100%

in on making him think that he's not old and cool at the same time.

Well, you're enough, right?

I don't understand why you're maybe help me understand why you're saying that because I think she's all in, but I think the reason she's all in is because she thinks he's cool.

But he's.

I also told her I was 35.

He's cool at times, but the beauty is that he's the coolest.

Well, that's my point.

Even the coolest people are not cool all the time.

That's

my own.

At no point was she like, you're the coolest guy I've ever known or even known.

Oh, you don't think she's going to say that right now?

She don't think you, if you text her right now, who's the coolest person you've oh, please do that.

Yeah.

Who would you consider the coolest person you've ever known?

You know, she's going to say you.

All right, we'll see.

All right, I'll find out.

Could be guy or girl.

Could be your mom.

Who's the coolest?

We don't have to ask her if

we don't have to ask you if you think she's cool then.

If she thinks her mom is the coolest person she's ever known,

um,

but that's a difficult question to ask because it's like, who's the who's the coolest person you've ever known?

Personally, known.

Personally, yeah, that I've ever known.

I don't want to.

It's all right if you say

it's all right if you say me.

I'm not going to.

I mean, it's probably Windorf.

Windorf?

Yeah, yeah.

That dude's cool.

He's a very cool guy.

Yeah, he is.

He's fucking, you know,

writes some amazing music.

He does.

You know, he's not like a slave to.

He was a big druggie.

We don't know that.

He was.

Yes, we do.

He said it.

He said it himself.

I don't know.

I think he was just saying that to kind of like

tip up his rocks hard.

Oh, like

Mary Beth is doing for me.

No one ever really says what they mean.

Let's see.

I might go with Mosier.

All right,

I'll let you read it.

Mosier's a pretty cool guy.

Yeah, I think he might be the coolest guy I ever met.

So Mary Beth has confirmed that

she's the coolest person.

That would be you with a little happy face.

Oh, that's nice.

It is nice.

But again, I believe it's just like you're like, if you text Pam, I think she's going to say the same thing back as Mary Beth said.

Okay, let's text Pam next.

She's going to say, or Josh Groven, or something.

All right.

Yeah, she might say that.

What's wrong with that, though?

There's nothing wrong with having that kind of person in your corner.

Yeah.

Yeah, but don't, but don't sit there and make it get your head big and think that you truly are the coolest person on the planet or something because your girlfriend said it.

Yeah, I think I sort of framed it like, is it the same as your mom telling you you're cool?

Which I thought would introduce

skepticism.

I'm in agreement with you.

But he's like, you know, you're not cool at all, right?

What do you do?

That's cool.

Do you jump around in fucking pants?

That's a waist size of 24.

But if she keeps feeding you this fucking manure, though, you could.

I might not hate myself.

Can you imagine?

All right, let me finish this text.

So, Pam, who's the coolest person you've ever known?

You think she says Edgar?

And if she says Edgar,

then that totally proves your theory beyond the shadow of a doubt.

If she does say Edgar, I'm going to want her to cite examples of him being cool.

Yeah, yeah, I'm going to need to hear that.

Did you know anybody who had the cool parent?

Because a cool parent was usually just really, like, when you think back, it was the irresponsible parent, the one who wanted to be their kid.

It was the physically attractive and irresponsible parents that were the cool parents.

Right.

Yeah.

Like in mean girls, like Amy Poehler is

the cool mom who's constantly drinking and giving kids drinks.

I had my friends' parents were all like terrible, horrible example.

Like, they were sad.

Just sad.

Yeah, they're just sad adults everywhere around me as a child.

Nobody seemed happy.

I don't want to like, you know,

oh my god, Pam wrote Walt Flannigan.

Not sure he's answered yet.

I don't want to like

paint a picture or anything, but I guarantee you my my youngest daughter would say that like of all her parents who is is the coolest, I think she'd say

and not irresponsible or good looking.

I think you're good looking.

Well, thank you, Q.

I wouldn't, I don't think anybody would be like, that guy's gross.

Well, thank you.

But I don't know.

Well, there's not so fine line between like you're good looking and like, oh my God, I have to avert my eyes.

But I mean, but like, I think, though, that, like, I think I've

been able to achieve that.

Walt's got his groupies.

Don't let him fucking fool it.

But I think I've been able to achieve it

with my youngest.

My oldest would not say that, I don't think.

But do you think she'll hold on to that or that's gonna she's not i think she's she's of that age i think it's i think it's now it's it's set that like she realizes that um i i could text her you think she would say it or anything yeah ask her i'd be i'd be interested she's on a cruise she might not get the text though oh most definitely not all right well let's place a bet q um we can go to uh mybookie.com to see uh what alicia says and that's what you're going to want to do because my bookie has better bonuses and more mma odds than any other sports book period and a whole bunch of other stuff i'm told because the whole mma thing we don't, we can't really identify with.

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yep blew through it uh pam johnson her answer it oh

what what

brian johnson

with a smiling emoji

i mean you're about a thousand you're cool

you're cool but i just don't you know what i i'm i'm here i think my job is to always look around you though that's what i try to do so you're definitely cool but i don't want to i don't want

I've been doing it since 1977.

Oh, wait, at least she's texting.

Why?

Oh, she writes why.

She writes Brian Johnson.

Oh, my God.

If she writes Brian Johnson, this is the last episode of Telling Steve Dave.

I wish.

It will never get better than that.

To end the entire run.

Tell her you can even include me in those parents.

I wrote just wondering.

She's suspicious.

She knows.

She's going up.

She's, I'm on a cruise.

I'm in the middle of the ocean.

Why is he asking me this question?

How's it going being alone, by the way?

It's got to be like, you've got to be the end of this.

Yeah, it stopped being

not even just adventurous, you know, like on a Sunday, the first Sunday.

Novelty.

Yeah, because I was home completely home alone.

Like, didn't have to come to work, didn't have anything to do.

Yeah.

So that meant got up around 7.30, let the dogs out.

And then I realized, I was like, wow.

So I may not talk to anybody until 1.30 in the the morning when I probably go fall asleep later.

So it was like that long of just like,

took a nap.

Sounds great.

Watching TV.

One day.

The one day is pretty good.

Just watch TV.

But at the end, by the end of the day, I was just like, ooh,

this could get really

boring.

I mean, are there any options?

Could I call a childhood friend to hang out?

I brought it up several times.

I didn't want to call you because I knew your brother was down.

I figured if you were going to, if you wanted to to do something, you would have called me because I knew your brother was down.

Eric was down, so I wasn't going to be like, take it and be like, hey, I know I have, I know we

this is the first time I have had this opportunity.

I wasn't going to be like, well, drop your brother and come with me.

Well, when do they come back?

Saturday.

Not tomorrow, but Saturday.

Oh, my God, another week?

No, no, not tomorrow, but Saturday.

Oh, okay.

Well, as luck would have it, Eric left yesterday.

So

Friday?

Yeah, I guess Friday would be it if they come back Saturday.

Yeah.

it's do or die tomorrow.

I'll let you know how it went.

I mean, I mean, throw me a text, let me know what's going on.

Walt's gonna hang out with his with a pretty cool guy.

Do you do you

put much stock in, like, do you want to be known as cool?

No, it doesn't.

No,

I would rather be known.

I would rather be known as cool.

I'm not

cool as a fuck-up or like eccentric

than a fuck up.

Like, I would not like to be known known as a fuck-up.

I don't think I am anymore.

But if someone's like, ah, he's a cool guy, like, it depends on the person.

Like, if their estimation of me actually matters, then yeah, I would.

So, but, like, I'm talking about little things that could

color you as not being cool to like acquaintances or people you know.

Will you keep certain things back so you don't appear as to be not cool?

Like, I have an example today.

Okay.

A friend, guy, a guy who helps us out with the Patreon

was in town and he found out that I am looking for a certain CD and then asked me, Are you listening to this group?

Because we were driving around together.

And he said, Are you listening?

Because I could hear it.

He said behind me because we're bringing boxes of merch back to my house.

So it's loud.

Are you blasting the Partridge family?

I was like, yeah, actually, I'm looking for a CD.

You think you're going to help me find it?

I can't find it anywhere, I said.

Oh, okay.

So it's not lost in your house.

No, no, no, no.

But

I wasn't worried that he wouldn't think I was cool.

I didn't care.

It's like, it's not important to me at all to think to.

But a younger me would have been like, no, not fucking listening to Partridge Family.

Oh, at this hit?

No, definitely.

I would not care.

I wouldn't crank the Partridge family.

That's not on any playlist I have.

But to his credit,

we came back to the stash and he started making calls.

And I overhear, like, hey, man, I'm looking for this CD for Partridge family.

It's called Missing Pieces.

He goes, yeah, yeah.

You'll check your mother's stash?

Okay, thanks.

It's like I'm calling someone for weight watchers or recipe books or something.

So that's what the guy, like a guy he called that's into music and albums, right?

Yeah, he was like, well, I'll check my mother's stash

to see if she has it.

And I was just like, I don't care it's not important to me i don't care what the uh what did you think there would be some sort of fallout i mean if he's that eager to help and i know and i know no no no but i'm just saying like i'm not like i'm but i mean it could be really some bad bad uncool points right it could be yeah i mean well here's the thing everybody like they know you and that's what makes you cool is that you don't give a

about cranking the partridge family to us.

Definitely not to the public at large.

There's no school kid walking by being like, what a cool guy.

You don't see cool guys like that around much anymore.

Just doesn't care.

Cranking the worst, gayest shit.

That's not even really a song.

It's kind of like just a

little bit more jingle.

It's better crafted, you would think.

I think it's probably well done.

Yeah.

I mean, this is not me.

This is the teen girls that are like, ugh, how is he still alive?

Look at him.

All old.

Yeah, but last night, like, there's, but

that

is an example of me not caring.

But there would be, there might be other examples where I wouldn't like allow something to be seen or heard or I would do in front of you.

It really is.

There's different levels.

Like, what's an example of that that you think would make you uncool?

Like, obviously,

you wouldn't want to fucking take a piss in front of someone, but I'm talking that you would be like, you're saying things you wouldn't want to do in front of other people.

That would make me uncool.

Would that be something that would make you uncool?

I thought that.

No, you know what is really uncool, though, and I don't think is real?

Any TV or movie where two guys are like, we have to piss, and they stand right next to each other talking.

Like, in the history of pissing in public, have you ever stood that kind of thing?

Not unless I was doing it for a joke.

If you're not doing it for a joke, I don't think it happens in real life.

Yeah.

Right.

You know, I don't even remember.

Oh, my God.

At this advanced age, though, I had to pull over and take my first public piss in probably like about 40 years.

I mean, I don't even remember the last time I had to do it, but I had to do it when I was driving to Walmart one day.

Oh, yeah.

Yeah, I just, I couldn't even wait.

I had to pull over and go behind a tree.

Oof.

Wow.

Was it like on the parkway?

No, it was just on the back roads to Walmart.

I couldn't even make it to Walmart.

One tassel.

Couldn't even make it.

Couldn't even make it to Walmart, yeah.

I don't know.

You think that's old man shit?

It has to be, right?

It's possible.

It's possible.

Has it happened again?

No.

You're right.

Maybe I just had too much to drink.

Yeah.

Like too much water intake.

It's when you look down and you got a fucking stain all over your crotch.

They got a worry, bud.

Yeah.

Worry if you've accepted it and you look down, you've got a diaper on.

That's cool.

But there's something.

Like, let's say it got to a point where you're like, god damn it, can't control my bladder.

I got to wear these like toys.

Okay, yeah, but that'd be something I'd want.

Like if I was like

me and this guy, we were moving boxes and I bent over and he saw my depends on the diaper's your thong.

That

That would be something I definitely would try to keep from

I don't care about my music selection of blasting like Keith Partridge at the top of the at a 10 on my on my in my Prius, but him seeing my depends,

I would be very upset.

Yeah, I don't know why, I guess that's just like vanity.

Well, I mean, it's vanity on a very understandable level, and also it's like, it's just embarrassing, man.

Why?

Like, because you're addressing your pending mortality.

Like, you, at this age, you're like, all right, things are going to start to fall apart at a more accelerated rate.

I was really hoping pissing my pants wasn't going to be like, by the time I'm 53.

So

I think even when you're older, like you could be 80.

And if you're like, oh, my God, I piss my pants.

It's never a good time if you piss your pants unless you're a baby or senile.

Do you think Meondee should look into doing like the

older people

Miundis that like granny panties?

Well, yeah, what's those like the panties like the or the pants that absorb leakage?

Oh, like making Miyundi's disposable diapers

out of model.

I don't know if it yeah, that seems not that seems cost-prohibitive.

Do you think that's not the image a company would want to

definitely not?

I think you're either in the fucking cool hip underpants game or the adult diaper game, but like you don't cross over at any point.

I don't think.

Right?

I mean, I remember

my grandmother, when she got much older, there was like gas issues and stuff.

You know, she'd be like farting and shit.

And then one time, it was the worst.

Like, this makes my stomach turn even thinking about it.

But like in the early 90s, I lived in her house.

And she was always having accidents and shit,

you know, either in her chair or on the floor in the bathroom.

And sometimes, you know, you might walk into an incident.

And one time I went in there and I washed my face and I grabbed the towel to dry it, not knowing that apparently she had mopped up her own piss with it

back up.

And she just put it on the counter.

Maybe she forgot it or something.

Yeah, grandma's piss mouth.

That's not great.

That's not great.

Woof.

Not at all.

On a scale of one to ten,

where do you put yourself on a cool meter, though?

We know Mary Beth puts you at a a ten where do you put yourself though

i would i'd say i'm pretty high um but again cool like do i like cool people's perception of like whatever people think cool meter well your own your own

my own perception i would put me i would put me at an eight wow that's pretty high yeah because i feel like i'm fairly there's not a lot of room for improvement there

but there's some

that's what makes me cool

handle things though the cool way though like you seemingly just like act like a like a two-year-old when things don't go your way.

Well, not cool temper, but I'm talking like the, like, just.

But that's like, that's how you sort of your persona that you put out to people is like, well, fuck, if a waitress brings over a fucking

cup that has two ice cubes instead of three, he's going to throw a hissy fit.

How could he be cool, though?

No, no, no.

Because I'm not.

Because when people treat me like an asshole, that's when I respond in kind.

But you're supposed to be a sea lion now.

Not supposed to be over.

I know, I know.

I sea lion somebody the other day, and then I lost it with another person.

It's a work in progress.

Yeah.

Don't be holding yourself.

Hey, Rome and all that.

I need more than a day.

An eight.

Yeah, I'd say an eight.

That is very, very high.

Let me tell you, I got a text from Q a little bit better than a month ago that was so sweet and so thoughtful and so loving and pointed towards like, you're a cool guy.

Didn't say the word cool, but everything he said

was like,

yeah, that it was basically just saying that you were the coolest guy.

Not the coolest.

At no point did he say that.

One of the coolest.

One of the coolest.

Look, I'm with Marybeth.

10?

He's all in.

I'm all in on this guy.

It's too late now.

Stay too much to him.

I would agree with his number.

I'd give him like a 7-8.

Yeah.

What do you think is keeping him from being a 10?

Huh?

He's got a little bit of wasted talent going on.

Like, he's a really good writer and he doesn't write enough.

I don't find wasted talent cool, man.

That's why I wish we did video on every single.

If you had seen his expression, it was the best.

Hold on.

Straight from the Atlantic Ocean.

My daughter has weighed in and she's going to say, I'll go with you.

Whoa.

I mean, there's only four words you can say after reading that.

I knew it.

That's three.

Period.

I was suggesting television.

Oh, no.

You're not ready to kill it yet, are you?

No.

Oh, okay.

I'll go on.

I'm ready.

I'll go on it.

All right.

So if he's an eight.

Where am I?

Yeah, what do you think?

Where do you put yourself?

You look in the mirror and you say to yourself, I am a solid

cool meter.

I have to do some math here.

Hit TV show.

But you had a retired firefighter, owns a beer company.

Your wardrobe is

pack is cool.

Your wardrobe cool?

Well, only in the way of like, I dress for me now.

So that in itself is pretty cool.

Yep.

I don't know if people would look at me and be like, that's a fucking cool floral shirt he's got on right now, but maybe.

Okay.

It's a tough number.

I would probably give myself a

six.

Six.

So you're only one step above me to like in the middle of the range, though, then.

I think the average person is around a five.

He's being

what's the word?

I hope you're not speaking highly of yourself.

Self-deprecating.

No, not even self-deprecating.

He's being

humble.

Yes, thank you.

I could see the argument for higher, but I'd give him a nine.

Nine.

A nine.

Damn, that is fucking close to perfection.

It is.

As he is.

I'm all in.

You've seen me at an abhorrent status.

I have.

But I've also seen you, and there's one thing I always envied about him.

He just mentioned it briefly a little bit ago, talking about New Orleans.

And I remember we were in early 2000s.

We were at a bar in New Orleans.

And I was standing in the back, and I'm like just watching the show and watching people.

And I see him up front with a guy he had kind of just met.

Just met.

They're drunk.

They're having a great time redheaded young man and what was it it was was it a van hellen song that came up i forget the song i'm almost positive it was a van hellen song and i look and he's got them by the they have each other by the back of the neck yeah and they're like oh so they're doing a bowie and a jagger that's what i said before yeah

uh not

looking longingly into each other's eyes.

This is more like mosh rocking out

rocking out type stuff.

And I've always envied that, his ability to just jump in and not give a shit about

talking cool in front No, it's not.

That's complex.

You're even better at it now.

No, I mean, like on the IJ cruise, like I know, I know you're performing, but performing or not, when that translates into something else,

that is non-IJ.

I think you got to take that out of it, though.

So, you think Brian Johnson's cooler than you?

I do, yeah.

Okay, yeah.

What about me?

He's a tell him Steve Davis.

The listeners are going to want to know.

They're going to want to know.

You're not.

If you're a six, he's a seven.

Yeah.

What am I then?

Now,

take in consideration all the things I'm not.

In all fairness, I was an eight.

Right.

He gave me an eight.

I think you gave me a seven.

Are you gave me an eight?

I said seven, eight.

Yeah, I agree with him.

I would not argue an eight.

I don't party.

No.

And you guys still do the partying?

Yeah, yeah, sure.

I don't like to go out and do social things, right?

Yeah, but I'm very judgmental, yeah, but you're listening to negatives.

Like, I like that you're, I like how much you love your family.

I like, I think it's cool that you're fucking so into comics and stuff like that.

Uh, you don't waste talent, like, I think that you're a talented guy, and I've seen you improve your craft.

Uh, you're one of the funniest guys I know.

I don't know, man.

And aside from his wife, he really doesn't answer to anyone.

He does his own thing, he dresses the way he wants to dress, he acts the way he wants to act.

If he's not into something, he's like, I'm not into it, I'm not doing it.

And there's no cajoling him or coaxing him or coercing him.

He's like, I just don't want to do it.

Yeah, I think you're I think you're hard on yourself, bro.

Like, he's his own person, yeah.

You know, that you know that people up all right,

number.

I'm gonna, I'm gonna put you up, I'll put you to like a six, six, I'll put you right there with me.

I want an unbiased opinion.

I want them, I want a guy who knows all three of of us.

No,

I want him to come in and tell us who is the coolest of the three, rate us up at one, two, and three.

And then also, like maybe later on, not against each other, but we can do a poll.

Is this person, would you consider this person cool?

And then we'll see how we stack up with the listeners because we don't know how cool we are to them.

To the listeners?

Yeah.

Oh, shit.

I mean, just go to Reddit.

You'll see exactly how cool you are to them.

Maybe I don't want want to see that poll.

Yeah.

I think you want to stick with Larry Beth.

Larry Beth you.

I see all the emails.

Why are these people saying this?

Come over to the mic.

Yeah.

You've been listening for how long?

Like close to the beginning.

Is he close enough to the mic?

Am I close enough to the mic?

There you go.

You're good.

No pressure.

Early on.

Early on.

No pressure, though, but who do you consider

in order, in order of coolness?

What's the order?

And this is a cool guy.

He would be considered a cool guy.

I was

a solid look.

When

my daughter was taking over the merch,

I said, the guy that's going to be helping us, he's very, very cool.

And she goes, well, it makes him cool.

And he's like, he's got tats.

I said, he's got, he wears his hat like...

like fucking Marty McFly, I said.

And he's got...

Who the hell is that?

And he's got these earrings, I said.

Like

those big earrings, I said.

He's all about cool.

I said, yeah, I think we're going to be all right.

I said, I mean, I think he's a sissy.

You'll think he's cool.

My wife would not say I'm cool.

Your wife would not say that.

No, she probably would not say it.

All right, but what do you say about TSD?

In order of coolness,

who do you put at three?

At three?

Yeah, we're going

to ascending order.

My opinion or based on everything that I have.

Only your opinion.

Your opinion.

See, this is a little bit more, I think, I think I know how the rest of the world perceives it, I think, rather than we're so close to each other.

It's hard to.

I do agree with that because I look at you guys and I'm impressed with you guys, even after all these years.

Yeah, this is rough.

I don't know Q as well as I know you and Brian.

But you know him from

listening.

Okay.

Number three.

Number three, I'm going to go with Q.

Wow.

I'll tell you, I agree with him.

Wow.

I do agree with him.

So what makes him such a nerd?

For not being aware of that.

Give us reasons to why we should stop hanging out so when we deliver the news.

Who's number two?

Wait, wait, wait.

Back up on Q a little bit first.

Like, yeah, like, what is it?

You're not going to make him answer why he's number two.

Of course, why Q is not.

Why isn't quick?

That's not cool.

that's not cool then to like to to make him like say why you put him at number three if i'm number two i want to know why i'm at number two

just one reason as to like what is it that makes because you don't know me well well do do do the list first and then and then do an old

as to why he feels that way that might make it easier for us if i have to do a list you're making me do a list two three so definitely i'm gonna go q

three two one

What was it?

Three two one.

Yeah, well, it would be the.

I think a lot of people would agree with that.

I I don't know.

But that's only because you're making me do a list.

It really, it would be like, it would be eight.

If you didn't ask me, I would have never said that.

It'd be like, yeah, that's right.

I'll round at 8.5, truthfully.

But if I had to do a list.

Wow.

Yep.

That's where it goes.

All right.

Now, I don't even care why Q isn't the coolest.

Why is Walt the coolest?

I don't know.

Well, I think

in my book, what makes you cool is not everything that you do, but your outlook on life.

Everything that he doesn't do.

Really?

I've never been to an Applebee's and seen somebody just order a burger.

Just the bun.

And the bun is only the carrying case for the burger.

The bun is not being eaten.

Only the burger's being eaten.

And he gives no fucks about it.

Let me tell you something.

After watching that for 40 plus years, it's not cool anymore.

Also,

the Partridge family thing, the album he's looking for, isn't just a Partridge Family album.

It's like the way the songs were on the show.

So that's a very specific, like,

audiophile-type

cool factor.

Even my buddy has to be a little bit more.

Because he listens to it on one speaker.

And one speaker's fucking car.

Kids are stopping with their

audiophile.

I'm sorry.

I have to dismiss the guy's opinion.

I don't know.

But that's a little cool factor.

What can Brian do to get to my level?

Ditch the buns, I guess.

Listen to obscure crummy music.

Yeah, yeah.

Find some crummy 70s music.

All right, yeah.

So you've got no advice for me.

Or a poor cue.

No,

I think you guys are all great.

This is a man who's nervous right now.

Yeah.

I mean,

on the ropes.

Yeah, I'm on the ropes.

I mean, I got to appreciate the

wherewithal to pick the guy who signs you checks

as the coolest.

I do appreciate that.

I like that angle.

Yeah, I mean,

I think, though,

if Tommy were to pick you at number one,

I know it's crazy, but I would think that would me be more meaningful than Mary Beth.

Oh, yeah.

Strangely enough, yeah.

Right, isn't it?

Yeah, but since he didn't,

I guess I'll just have to stick with Mary Beth.

You're number two, though.

Number two, yeah.

Number two ain't bad.

First loser.

Not the worst.

Yeah, runner-up.

Everybody remembers number two.

Silver ain't bad.

I mean, you walk out of that Patreon meeting pretty gangster.

So, I mean, right.

That was pretty epic.

After making fun of all the people.

You dropped it for dropped the grenade and walked out.

See, I would put you there more than me,

would be the way that I would put it.

But

I don't argue with the way he's perceiving it.

I understand why.

I got it too.

I might be inclined to agree.

I like you, man.

I like who you are.

Him to be square.

Like I said, Anytime that I, anytime that, like I said, I always feel I just don't want you to get that head to get super big.

I don't see that happening, and I'm glad there's a guy like you to keep it in check.

The universe wasn't enough.

Yeah.

Childhood wasn't enough.

Tell him, Steve, Dave.