#417: Little Owl Hands

I don't know dogs can get rabies.

What

You want to hear a good dog story?

Yes.

I don't know if you know this, but Spielberg was stalked in by somebody who wanted to rape him.

Tell him, Steve, Dave.

Hello, and welcome to this week's edition of Tell Him, Steve Dave.

And we've got Walt here, and we've got me here, and we've got special guests.

The last time you were here, old Jiggy?

Last time I was here, I think was last year, where I was auditioning to

take

Brian Quinn's spot.

I don't think it happened.

This is like a year in the making.

Is this the official offer then, Walt?

We went through.

He was shaking.

I think that was a no.

We needed to find someone who wasn't so busy with tours and being famous and shit like that, right?

But you do all the tours, don't you?

I mean, I'm touring throughout the year, doing stand-up stuff.

I work with the guys on the road, too.

So you're quite busy as well.

Your schedule is hell as well.

I kind of froze.

You're saying I have to free up some time?

These shootings, these mass shootings last week.

Two in as many days, right?

Everybody hates the guys.

Safe to say, right?

They're assholes.

Nobody likes a mass shooter.

I think that's safe to say.

That's very safe to say.

Why is it we get so mad at mass shooters?

Like, if we get so mad at somebody who kills nine, ten, god knows how many people at once, but if you're a serial killer and you do over the span of years, you might get a Netflix show about you.

You might get, like, I'm talking drama type shit.

And we're not talking about a mass killer like Timothy McVeigh, a government guy, who's like, that's a very clear, like, I hate the government, I have a history of hating the government, here's why I'm doing this, versus like these guys.

I have a theory.

I don't know.

I think when it comes to

serial killers, I think there's a fascination because of like how

diabolically evil someone could be over a long period of time.

Like, there's like an actual sickness.

And with someone mass shooting, there's someone who's sick too.

But it's like,

I think the course of time time is what makes it more fascinating, of like, of evading police and, and how

the precision of like who they select.

And it also makes it more eerie of like, you never know who it's going to be.

And

yeah, you never know who it's going to be with a mass shooter either, though.

Yeah, I don't, but there's something that like the people that are like.

People snap.

That's the thing with a mass shooter.

It seems like

people snap or it's like very medicated.

And I feel like that's been proven, no?

Sometimes, yeah.

I mean, if you saw this last guy, if you like, like, again, you see his picture, you look at those eyes, you're like, he'll probably shoot someone or a number of people.

It's like

a wide-eyed look.

You can see all the white, like, all around and shit.

That's what Walt looked like when I walked in today.

I never told him he didn't get the job.

I was like, awkward.

But yeah,

it's interesting because if they discover a new serial killer, everyone wants to know about them.

But on the same day, on the day after a mass shooter, mass shooters, they don't want to know about him in that kind of way.

They're not curious.

They're just like, this guy's a piece of shit.

He should be killed by the bad people.

People really want to know about serial killers right away.

I feel like that it's a slow burn.

Like you only hear Netflix specials of serial killers 10 years later.

Or people want to see the whole thing played out.

They want to see the trial.

They want to know.

It's a whodunit thing.

If you look at the great

Netflix specials or stuff that I got hooked on, like the staircase, like you'd, it would be a lot of fun.

Oh my god, the staircase, it was so boring, dude.

They could have done that in half the episodes.

I was so fucking drawn out.

But that was filmed over the course of 15 years.

I guess what I'm saying is, like,

it didn't happen instantly.

People wanted to know.

People only cared about it years later when there was a full understanding of what the case was.

There was a forensic files episode on it, though.

Oh, really?

Back in the 90s, I think.

And the way they left it was that, you know, he was

arrested and in jail and shit.

Whereas this one, I mean, the second, you didn't see the Staircase documentary, did you?

I don't even have Netflix.

I don't know if that's true.

Every time you say you don't have something, it seems like you do.

I don't have Netflix.

I don't have an account.

No streaming at all?

No.

You have Amazon Prime.

Well, yeah, my wife has Amazon, so we must have the ability to watch the Amazon shows.

But

we can't even play angry birds on our iPads without it crashing.

I can't imagine we can watch like, you know, big beefy episodes with all those gigabytes and everything.

Because of gigabytes, it's a little nod to Jiggy.

I don't know.

That might have been a dig at me.

I don't know.

When you hear we call them jigabytes.

All those big gigabytes.

Oh, you're saying that your internet is too slow.

I don't know what it is, but like I said, like my like, I try to play a game and it just crashes.

So I thought you were a good father.

I didn't know your kids were going without angry birds.

They seem to be able to watch it.

my my youngest will watch the uh she she i don't want to say too much though because i don't want to get anybody in trouble but uh somebody gave her a password to watch but we don't actually have it i guess she could give me the password on netflix yeah that's what everyone does everyone does that yeah but i mean they're gonna have to clamp down on that man they must be losing millions if not billions right i mean netflix with all the people giving away passwords they uh if i remember correctly it used to be you could share it with up to five people.

I mean, it's not really supposed to be.

Family member or friends.

I don't think it matters.

But the reason why they, the reason why they have to do that, because I thought the same thing.

I was like, they must be losing so much money.

But the problem is that people have, you have your TV, right?

Then you have like your iPad, and then maybe you have your phone.

So one person can use three devices, you know.

not trying to cheat the system.

It's just that they want to have access to their account on different devices, but people manipulate that.

So if like you're logged into a TV and then I give you my password, now it's on your TV, that's how they get away with it.

It's not the number of people.

It's not on your TV, though.

You save the password.

So,

people are getting away with it because it's the number of devices, not the number of people.

But, wait a minute, how do you put it on your TV though?

What do you put into the remote to make it go on your television?

You don't have a smart TV either?

Yeah, it's a smart TV.

You don't have a smart TV.

There's apps on your TV now.

What kind of TV do you have?

You don't have like a boxy TV, do you?

No, I have those red, green, and blue lights in the back that projected.

No,

I have a flat-screen TV, but I don't think it's what they call smart, though.

Well, I'll give you, it's a $40 thing that could change your life if you get a Roku box.

Oh, I've heard of this, too.

And you jailbreak it?

No, you don't have to jailbreak anything.

How much do you charge me for that, Jiggy?

How many gigabytes can I buy from you?

You're going to be blown away with the gigabytes of this thing.

No, a Roku is like, it's a little, it's tiny.

It's almost the size of a lighter, and it has all if your TV isn't a smart TV, it hooks into the back of it, and then you can download like Netflix and all these apps and run them off your television.

And it gives you a separate remote, and it's great.

How much TV do you watch?

You sound like you watched a lot of TV.

You're on the

road a lot, right?

So that's why you want to watch the

content.

I don't watch a lot of television shows, but I'm big on movies and documentaries.

So

I'll watch a few movies a week at least, and then I'll get into like a documentary series.

How many streaming services are you a member of?

That I'm personally a member of.

I think you have passwords, too, then.

That someone gave you passwords.

Did you got them all?

Talk to my daughter.

She can get you all.

Amazon, Hulu, and Netflix.

I got three.

Yeah.

That's enough, right?

That's enough.

Is that enough, or is that like, are you going to get the Disney one?

No,

I need to hear more about the Disney one.

The Disney one sounds pretty good for the price.

Yeah, but for what reason?

For the Marvel movies alone?

No.

I have a kid who loves Disney shit.

They're going to put all the Disney movies?

Every Disney movie, they said.

I'll believe it when I see it.

They say it won't be streaming on any other service.

I don't believe there'll be some movies

aren't going to make the cut.

Oh, will their entire library be included?

Right now, that's what they've said.

I think they're going to do it like that.

I'm going to err on the side of caution with you and say certain movies will not be.

But they have a history of holding back.

My oma, Jiggy.

Disney's not going to launch a billion-dollar platform and take a chance of putting on a movie that could just make everybody just be like, are you effing kidding me?

They've got to be insane.

If Disney does that, I would just be like, I would be the first platform.

I would have to be like, I got it.

I can't believe it.

I have to see it with my own eyes.

That they would actually

put like the suicide solution would be putting that movie on there.

I would buy a lifetime membership because I know it would only last one more month.

I mean, right?

They have, but they've gone on record and said they're putting every Disney movie on that library.

So it's like all the old

steamboat Willies and

all the shorts, like all that stuff, or like the stuff where Donald Ducks

beaten up Hitler, right?

I don't think.

I mean, who knows

if it's a mouse

on the Mississippi River in the 30s, there has to be something said.

Yeah, you're right.

Yeah, there probably is.

But I'm just talking about theatrical releases

that were

given all the pump.

Circumstance, yeah.

And back in the day, will they put every movie on there?

I say no, they shouldn't have even come out and said that.

All our blockbusters, they shouldn't.

But are you only talking about that one movie that they wouldn't put on there?

I think they did a part two of it as well.

No way.

Song of the South 2 if they didn't.

I don't know.

I didn't realize that that was.

I guess, folks,

like for me, I didn't even know that movie existed.

I only knew it from

1986.

So, like, Fox and the Hound was like the big movie with Disney movie, and even that wasn't a big movie for them.

I feel like there wasn't a lot of like movies for like boys that came out for Disney when I was a kid.

Like, you had like Beauty and the Beast, um, what was the one under the sea?

Little Mermaid was big.

Now, you're saying that

they didn't appeal to you as Little Mermaid?

No, Little Mermaid and like Lion King, all that stuff.

Aladdin kind of did.

A Lion King was pretty masculine.

Was it?

Yeah.

About a guy reclaiming

his throne.

Yeah, but it's a cartoon.

I don't know.

I guess maybe it was like the cartoon aspect of it.

Yeah,

I saw those movies, though, as a young adult, though, and I guess I could appreciate them not having to worry about my masculinity being challenged.

I could just appreciate it for the art and the songs.

When I was like the age of the song.

Oh yeah, Jiggy's like, this is turning me gay.

Sorry,

I was looking up Song of the South too.

I see one mention of it, and there's a lot of misspellings on the page.

I'm wondering if it's legit.

For Song of the South, for me, the only way that I knew that the songs that it even existed from the ride at Disney World, Splash Mountain, which for me is it's still my favorite ride.

And I didn't even know that movie existed.

I mean, they've done a very good job of keeping it underrated.

So do you think they will will release it to their streaming service or do you think they'll just keep it vulnerable?

I think that they'll probably hold back.

I mean, it would be

2019, 2020.

I mean, they would have a lot of explaining to do.

Oh, my God.

Yeah,

I mean, that's like

if Disney happened to own that Birth of a Nation and they're like, we said every movie.

Like, yeah, some are just like, it's okay if this doesn't get released.

And everyone is going to be totally fine.

They could also bury it too which they have oh you mean bury it on service bury it in the service where it's like how do they say it on instagram where you get like shadow shadow banned where it's like you're still on there but like you have to like there's no way to find it you would actually have to put in code yeah but again if they're like only to make good on like we said every movie it could be false advertising we could lose our shirts if we don't do it you know the other thing the other thing they could do is like they could create like a a separate film company that they sell the movie to and then it's technically not a Disney movie anymore.

Right.

I mean, who?

I mean, is it David Duke who's now the president of Disney that he wants it out this desperately?

No, no.

You know, it was, it was just, I saw the

broad proclamation that, like, every Disney movie.

And I'm just thinking, like, there's no way every Disney movie could be on there.

I go, there's got to be some movies that they just don't want out there just because they, just because they would, the bad PR that it would bring.

So it would bring nothing good.

I mean, it would literally bring nothing good.

Nothing believe so.

Except for the people that are like,

like, that's still a piece of history.

You know, like, I got to see it so bad.

The movie sucks balls anyway.

Yeah.

I mean, I remember there was a bootleg copy of it in

playing on a TV at a comic book convention I was at, and I just sat and almost watched the whole thing, and I was just like, this is

so bad.

Like, just boring bad, too.

I think the movie was marked for its technical achievements, though.

I think it did.

I think it did win.

Didn't it get nominated for

an Academy Award for the music?

I don't even remember what year it was released.

It's got to be what?

It was 60.

Oh, no, no, it was in the 40s, I think.

Wasn't it?

I think it got re-released.

I think it, I don't have

service in here, but I think that it

did win an Academy Award for best original song.

There's a song that's 1946.

I mean, the songs are, you know, zippity-doo-da.

It's a great

song, but, you know, it's just stained with the.

and it also wasn't the first movie

first or one of the first to put animation and live action together?

Yeah, it looked like a live.

I think it was before Mary Poppins.

Yeah.

Also, in 46, like having a black dude as a lead in a movie was not super common.

Uncle Remus.

Uncle Remus, man.

I wonder.

I mean, the Remus estate must be like, have given up the ghost, right?

They just ain't going to release it.

We're never going to see residuals.

No.

They're like, he couldn't have been in Dumbo.

Had to be in this fucking thing.

Here are some other offensive Disney movies, if you guys are wondering.

That could not

number it.

They may not make the streaming list, you're saying.

They may not make, well, no, they're going to make the streaming list.

Do you think he'll make the streaming list, even if it's an offensive movie?

Again, going back to Dumbo?

Yeah, they'd be

a little more subtly offensive.

It's not as like in your face as some of the stuff.

Well, they're going to dice it up, though.

They already are dicing up a lot of Disney movies, even like Toy Story is being diced up now.

The original?

Toy Story 2.

I think there was one of the minor.

You remember that minor doll?

He has a thing

in the credits or something where he is doing a casting couch joke to the Barbie dolls in the room.

Oh, yeah, yeah.

And they cut that out now.

Really?

Yeah, you can't find that version anymore.

What do you feel about in general?

I mean, obviously, there's been famous examples, but even in E.T.

when they took the guns out and they made it into walkie-talkie.

I think that's so corny.

In the case of E.T.,

it's hard to justify

why you did it.

I mean, Spielberg must have just

been just in a bitchy mood, and he was like,

taking the guns out.

I'm going to give him walkie-talkies?

Were they just going to tell each other?

Remember, you know, Spielberg, I don't know if you know this, but Spielberg was stalked by somebody who wanted to rape him.

What?

Yeah, it was a big, famous case.

So he had had like

to rape Spielberg

because he put the guns in?

No, no, no, no, no.

He had this bizarre stalker.

And I'm sure that like, you know,

violence was probably

paramount in his mind.

And, you know, maybe he felt like

some of the decisions he made in his movies were like fueling this guy's delusions.

You never heard about this?

I never heard about this.

I feel like I, in the back of my mind, I vaguely heard some.

I thought it was a joke, though, Spielberg getting raped.

No, no, no.

A former bodybuilder whose sexual obsession led him to stalks film director Steven Spielberg was sentenced to 25 years to life in prison after he called his behavior frightening.

And it's a bodybuilder, too.

So it's not like some little squirt that's like, hey, Spielberg, I'm going to rape you.

And it's like, whatever.

It's a guy who's like droided out.

And he's like, this is happening.

I think, was this in the 80s when it happened?

No, this was in 99.

98.

Yeah, 1990.

98, that's when he got sentenced.

I could forgive Spielberg if he was like, just was like

out of his mind with like, you know, like

this would be a very upsetting thing, though, if I knew that I had someone out there that was plotting that against me.

Yeah, but I would want to go back and just take out some stuff and tell them Spielberg.

And then make it a little bit more family-friendly.

You know, I would take out some of the things that, you know, I would want to rewrite my own history.

But you have all these Spielberg movies.

You sharks eating people alive and all this stuff.

You have an alien coming from the game.

Young, like, children nearly dying on the beaches of Normandy.

But it's the guns in the three seconds of film that he's just like, that could be it.

But if it was around that time, maybe you would think he would be more into guns.

It's like you have a bodybuilder coming at you being like, you'll be mine.

Like, why would you not give those guys more guns?

Well, I think Spielberg's a smart dude.

So he's like, he probably

got in a room full of doctors and was like, why is this happening?

Could it be my movies, some of the things in my movies?

And maybe he was like on the, like, he was doing it before you.

Yeah, Steve, you're fucking, you're too sexy.

You think he got a race?

The shit you're putting in your movies is too sexy.

You think he called a meeting with a room full of doctors to diagnose his potential rapist?

I don't think so.

I think he called a room to lawyers.

He's a billionaire.

It would be like dropping $5 on the ground for him to call in a room full of qualified psychologists.

What is he trying to learn, though, I guess?

To learn

why this could have happened and what does he need to change?

And is it possible that he can do it?

Why is he putting your victim blaming me?

Why is he putting it on himself?

He's like, how did I fuck up?

This guy wants to read it.

It's got to be me.

Is it what I'm wearing?

Is it what I said?

You know, and maybe he heard from the doctors that I was like, you know, you're making movies that glorify violence and the gun culture.

Against aliens.

E.T.

doesn't do that at all.

I mean, it's the only thing you see, it's the only time you see a gun in the entire movie.

And it's during that scene.

It's like the best moment of the film where

they're going into the sky.

It's like the climax of the movie.

Yeah, but maybe he just is in love with E.T.

so much that he was like,

it should be for all ages, from the youngest to the oldest.

But it still is.

Replacing it doesn't matter.

They never fire the gun.

They never shoot E.T., right?

Yeah.

I mean, obviously, he felt strongly enough to change it.

I think they should go back.

They should change the gun and jaws to a walkie-talkie.

They never shoot the shark.

They just radio for help.

I think the shark is too scary.

They should just turn it into a giant walkie-talkie.

I think you should never

get a job.

Steven St.

Bielberg said, I genuinely, genuinely, in my heart of hearts, believe I could have been raped, maimed, or killed.

And the same thing could have happened to my wife or kids.

So he's like, if he's out on the street, I'm going to be living in fear.

And you see it happen too, right?

Like, there'll be somebody who's gotten stalked, a famous person, and they know it, and the cops are aware of it.

And then the person still get like Letterman back in the day.

Like, they just keep getting on their property somehow.

Yeah, that's you got to be a next-level

psychopath.

You got to be a psychopath.

And then what was he doing?

He was sending letters being like, I'm going to rape you.

It shows that he was getting his,

he got his point across.

He certainly did.

It said that he

had shopping lists that had his family's names in his day planner.

And then the shopping list had items like eye masks, dog collars, chloroform.

He also leased a car similar to the one driven by Spielberry's wife.

I guess after that, what's her name?

My sister Sam.

You remember that?

That was like one of the first ones.

I remember that.

There's

an

ugly, ugly history stalking celebrities.

What was the

case that was

Jodie Foster?

Yeah.

Had a really famous case.

Oh, Hinkley.

And then he went on to shoot the.

Then he tried to shoot the Reagan.

He shot Reagan.

Yeah.

Or he didn't shoot him, but he tried to.

Oh, yo, he did shoot him.

Reagan got shot multiple times and lived through it.

I thought

one of the

Brady.

Yeah, I thought he got shot also by some lady that was part of the Manson family.

Oh, yeah, Squeaky From, right?

Oh, that was Gerald Ford.

Yeah, that wasn't.

But Reagan, somebody else, like, I'll look it up while you're talking.

But

the shooter in that instance, he was close to getting out or did get out, was deemed cured by his doctors, which

usually never happens, especially, you know, shooting a sitting president.

How did they let him out?

They would let him out.

I know that

they got some bad feedback, the doctors, because they would let him out and the public didn't know it.

And then all of a sudden they found out he was getting weekends out unsupervised, and he had to go back.

This would be decades later, though.

I mean, we're talking decades.

Is he still in jail now, or is he?

He was close to getting out.

They said that, like, you know, there he was completely cured.

I feel like shooting a president, that's like automatically you're done.

You would think.

You would think, but

why, but why?

But then you would say, shoot, why is a president

released in 2016, lives with his mother?

Released in 2016, lives with his mother full-time.

Wow.

Thank you, 148.

I couldn't get my iPad to work.

That's incredible.

I don't think I have enough jigabooks.

I mean, it's a testament, I guess, to the doctors, right?

I mean, because

they don't want to be wrong, you would think, right?

They have to be pretty confident.

He must be unrecognizable because if he was released in the 80s, for example,

he wouldn't have made it on the streets.

I think those 40 years years have done a lot to change his looks.

He's got to be.

He's in his 20s and now he's

60s.

He's 60 now.

No longer considered a threat to himself or others.

That's the thing, though, right?

That's what all this shit's about, is like redemption.

Like, you go to prison.

There are certain people that you're like, they should be locked up forever.

Never let them out.

Well, it depends on the crime.

Flies in the face of redemption, though.

He's in the idea that anyone can be redeemed.

I'm not arguing for people to be let out.

That's the European system.

The European system, like, I don't think there's anything, there's no such thing as a life sentence.

Like I was even watching like that documentary, the disappearance of Maddie McCann.

Did you watch that?

Yeah.

It was very interesting.

But even the parents who were suspected of murdering their daughter, they were like, she was facing 25 years in prison.

Who was facing the mother?

The mother.

Like the parents were facing.

They had enough evidence to bring her to trial.

At one point,

they thought they had enough evidence because they brought in a cadaver dog to go look through the property of the parents that the dogs make signals based on certain if they smell like a like a corpse or something, and they they hit on different places in their apartment and in their car, which they were going to use as lead evidence.

But there was a lot of things that were contradictory to that.

But I guess point being is like she only faced 25 years for that, for like potentially murdering her own daughter.

And that's like the European model is a lot different.

How long was that mini-series?

How many episodes?

It actually wasn't my favorite of all the crime docuseries, but I think it was like eight to ten, maybe.

Yeah, I think somewhere in in there.

What's your favorite one?

My favorite one, um,

it might have been the staircase.

Oh my god, yeah, killing me with this.

So boring.

Like, I had to fight to get to the end because I'm like, it was funny, though.

Like,

the idea behind the staircase is that a lady who is

an exec at Nortel or something,

some computer software place, is living with a guy who's a writer.

They're both like, I mean, he would look a little older, like 60s, like early 60s.

They're married.

They're married.

Yeah, they're married.

They had kids.

She lived in,

they lived in a really nice house.

Their two kids were not grown, and a couple others were grown.

Anyway, it's these, like, you know, she had a daughter, and he had two daughters and a son, I think.

They come together, Brady Bunch style.

The lady ends up dead at the bottom of the staircase.

They're like, we think he pushed her.

Oh, he was, was he an Air Force?

He was a military guy.

military, and he was into military guys, too.

Yeah, he said that she fell, but it looks like he pushed her or something.

It looks like he pushed her.

Doesn't it all paint?

Like, he covered her body in paint.

No.

Or paint.

There was like, no, he didn't wash the walls.

Like, he didn't wash any of the water.

He didn't watch it for years.

Did you watch anything?

For years, there was just blood on the stairs.

Can you imagine your wife falls on the stairs, dies, and you're like, I'll get to it eventually.

I know you're not handy, and neither am I, but that's like,

I'd hire someone for that.

Maybe they weren't allowed to touch that area because, like, to go back for evidence or something.

Possibly.

I don't know.

But the amount of throughout the case of like

people who put him in jail, like experts, that later on were either not experts or they're like, yeah, I lied.

I just lied.

I made it up.

Like, just made stuff up.

But he had a lot of stuff that was like pointing.

I mean,

he had a computer history of

trolling for dates.

Looking for Navy SEALs and stuff.

Yeah.

But the thing that it was like the end of one episode where I was like, yeah, he definitely did it.

There was when he was in his early or mid-20s, his

friend, who was a woman who lived next to him in Germany when he was on a base, died the exact same way and fell down the stairs.

Like the exact same way.

And he was the last person to see her.

So this guy has to have like the worst luck on the planet.

But I actually went and I saw a live, I went live to see the lawyers from that in New York.

They did something at the Grammar City Theater and I went.

But now there's all these theories that she was actually attacked by an owl.

And there's like some pretty good evidence for it.

Yeah, like scratched her head and she fell down the stairs.

Like talons, talons.

And there are real accounts of like owl attacks.

And so there's a theory that she was attacked by an owl.

She ran like furiously through the house and tried to go upstairs and fell backwards.

But if you look at her injuries, it does kind of look like an owl attacked her head.

And then they found years later, after all the trials, they found microfibers of owl feathers in her head.

So it's not a bad theory, but they've never proved it.

I would like to know how many owl attacks there are in America per year.

I think more than you think.

Really?

I don't think as many people die from them, but there are people who die or who get attacked by owls, and they're vicious, dude.

A lot of them are vicious.

It's not even the beaks.

It's the talons.

Oh, it's the talons.

A lot of them, they're like,

it's like razor blades.

They got like razor blades on the end of their little hands.

They're not hands.

What are they called?

Feet?

Claws?

Claws.

Talons?

They're now known as little owl hands.

You want to know how many owl attacks per year in America?

I think many people die from owl attacks a year.

I don't think there's that many.

Owls on humans.

Attacks.

I would have to think it's on humans.

All right, let's see.

Oh, man.

I would guess like less than, I'd say 3,000.

I'm going to say way less than 3,000.

3,000 a year?

Are we talking globally?

3,000?

3,000?

It's like three a a day.

I mean, literally, 90% of the owl attack stories are about that lady.

3,000?

3,000.

I'm not saying deaths.

That would be like 300,

that would be like 300 a day.

Jesus, long line.

No, just, I meant countrywide.

Countrywide.

Oh, well, we're reducing.

They don't know if there's owls in the rest of the world, are there?

3,000 a year?

I mean, I'm talking about people getting

silly.

Well, I hate to dash your hopes, young giggy.

How many gigawatts we got?

It's not many.

It appears that there are about

200 animal attacks on humans per year in general in America.

That can't be right.

200 in total.

And they're mostly farm animals.

So there goes my 3,000.

Usually, and the attacks are normally just the birds swooping down to try to scare away people, but normally it's five.

It's a violent animal on the face of the planet if they had 3,000 owl attacks.

Yeah, they're outpacing dogs.

If there's 10% of the owls that there are dogs, but they're committing like 95% of the

how many people do you think get bitten by dogs a year?

Do you think that's 3,000?

Oh my god, I would think.

Like to the point where they have to go to the hospital.

Yeah, I think the numbers would be far.

I feel like

the owls.

I got bitten by a dog and I had to get like a shot.

Tetanus.

I feel like that's what you have to get, right?

When I was a kid, I got a dog.

Or rabies.

Or rabies.

Some lady went to India just recently, and or I think it was India.

No, Thailand.

And she was like, oh, look at this little puppy playing with it.

And the puppy was doing that like that puppies do.

Puppy had rabies, lady got rabies.

I didn't know dogs can get rabies.

What?

Squirt that's like, hey, Steve, Steve Pielberg, I'm going to rape you.

You need that Disney streaming service.

Go Small Yellow.

Or Cujo.

I thought that

were more from more small game creatures.

like raccoons and stuff.

Well, that's how a dog will get it.

You know, a lot of hunting dogs could get rabies from

getting a raccoon

out of the yard or a muskrat.

Yeah, like in Cujo, a raccoon bit Cujo on the nose, and that's what gave him rabies.

What's Cujo?

It's that Stephen King movie.

I never saw that one.

I feel like I'm talking to Mary Beth.

Like, I have to hear a primer.

It's like, it's her first day on earth.

Never saw that one.

You never heard of that one?

No.

You never heard of Cujo?

No.

That's like the go-to when they're like, like, if a dog's out of control, they're like, oh, look out for Cujo.

Like, that's like the bar.

It's a rabid dog.

Cujo was a St.

Bernard who

got bit by a raccoon on the, or a bat, rather, a bat on the nose.

What year did this come out?

70s, the novel, the movie.

The 80s.

Yeah, probably 80s.

Yeah, prior to the movie.

When was the St.

Bernard movie where it was a family dog?

Oh, oh.

Oh, it was man's best friend?

Beethoven.

Beethoven.

Oh, I thought you were talking about horror movies.

Oh, Beethoven.

Oh, yeah, there were a lot of...

Didn't that that kid die too, right?

Didn't the Beethoven actor die?

I like the Beethoven movies growing up.

Yeah, they were a little bit.

I would have been growing up at that point, so I was that was just a bit too juvenile for me.

Even though I would see the Disney movies, I was seeing them more for the artistic heights.

Was that a musical Beethoven?

Did there be any musical numbers in that?

No, the dogs weren't like that.

Dancing dogs?

Yeah, no, okay.

No, I forget the plotting.

They did multiple

films.

They did a bunch of Beethoven's, but I forget if the dog was human smart.

Dog couldn't talk.

I just think

it was like a gifted dog, which sounds like quite a pivot from the other St.

Bernard movie with the rabid St.

Bernard of Kojo.

Now, speaking of dog movies, there's a much heralded acclaimed dog movie that's going to be coming out soon.

Kevin Costner's The Voice of the Dog.

I mean, the commercials, they're paying so much money

pimping this movie.

I forget what it's called, but it's about a race car driver who owns a dog, and in the trailer, I mean, it just makes you want to cry.

Was this the one, The Dog Comes Back to Life?

no no that one came out recently dogs like a dog's mission or dog's way enzo

the art of racing in the rain yeah that's it yeah

oh my god it just like it's just like bashes you over the head with the uh like uh like how how it's gonna tug at your heartstrings what was that other movie um marley and me yeah another one where they're just trying to make you feel sad did you see the youtuber who was mean to the dog i saw the story yeah i didn't i didn't see i didn't watch the video though she spit on her dog or something like that uh well it's hard to see and i don't think if i were to guess like you know how sometimes dog training they're like go

like blow air on their nose like sometimes they'll tell you to do that like blow air on the dog's nose to get him to stop doing something so i think that's what she did but there's no mistaking that like if you look into her flat screen she like gives them a little kick which i'm sure people do to like nudge their dog away um the screen was too small i couldn't see shit as far as like how much of a kick But if you're on YouTube and your only job is to look like you love your dog more than anything.

Well, is the dog part of like a big part of her YouTube process?

Oh, I think so.

I think it's the only part, really.

Oh, it's the dog.

Like, without the dog, she doesn't have a, she doesn't have a dog.

Nobody gives a fuck about it.

Nobody gives a fuck about her.

Was she doing a live stream?

No, she uploaded wrong footage because she recorded it, and I guess, you know, she cuts it together.

And then she uploaded the wrong file, which showed like the highlights.

The low lights.

The low lights for the dog.

The highlights for everyone else.

I feel like that's still pretty tough to do to upload the wrong video.

And then, I mean, most people look at the video they post like almost instantly to scroll through it, make sure it's all there.

I mean, she has to almost.

It doesn't matter, though.

It seems like if you put something up for like a second, someone's already screen capped it and going to use it against you.

Potentially.

If she has a big following, yeah.

She did it.

Like, if your career

is so tied to your dog,

how well well do you treat that dog?

Like, you want to make sure that nothing happens to that dog.

This dog looked like he was a little bit of a pain in the ass.

He was like doing that jumping around shit.

Like, I get it.

You're like, I'm trying to make a movie, man.

Come on, you dumb dog.

But it's like, he's the star.

You can't yell at the star of the movie.

She was making a movie about her dog?

Well, no, I mean, not a movie, but like a video.

Oh, okay.

Like, he's like, I'm trying to do this video, and this dog won't stop messing around.

But, like, that's the star of the video.

I mean,

like.

Can you imagine if directors could just like yell at and kick their stars?

I'm sure they did back in

making movies in general is extremely difficult.

I can't even imagine making a movie like Homeward Bound.

Do you remember that movie where it's like all animals?

That must have been.

It's been an era before CGI.

Well, actually,

I wonder if you speak with people who work on productions that are only animal-focused, and then they have to work with people, and which one would be harder.

LAPD investigating YouTuber who appeared to abuse dog and video.

Yikes.

Is it her career over on YouTube?

I don't know.

I don't even know who's.

I know what I mean.

Like, do you think that you can rebound from that?

Yes.

Yes.

Yes.

How?

Because Michael Vick did it.

Unless she gets taken, her account taken down.

The whole thing is, like, once you have the people who follow your account, you can recover.

I mean, unless people, like, the people are going to unfollow most likely, but if she has a million people following her, I don't know how much she has.

But didn't, like, but like YouTube.

330,000.

One miscomputer can destroy a YouTuber, though.

Well, it can.

I mean,

she can get banned from the service, which would be, then she would be definitely done.

But if she's able to continue to make new content, like, she can recover.

I don't know.

I guess, though, like, you can bounce back.

I mean, not to make too fine a pun, but dog the bounty hunter.

Like, he bounced back from some real ugly language.

He got his show back.

Yeah,

but he never regained the

popularity that he had before his incident.

It's interesting, though.

People are like,

she should be put in jail.

She should kill herself.

She should blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah.

You're this, you're that.

And this is a dog who, like, from what I saw, I mean, you shouldn't kick a dog, but from what I saw, it's not like she stomped it to death.

There are people regularly in the newspaper who, babies, children who get, who are murdered by their parents.

People are not as outraged.

But something like this, man, yeah, like animals.

Yeah.

You want to hear a good dog dog story?

Yes.

It's my favorite kind.

Did you hear about the French bulldog that fell six stories from a New York building and lived?

No.

Yeah.

He fell through the street.

It's not that story.

No, it is that story.

All he had was a couple little scratches.

He fell through one of these sports car roofs.

Like

a sports car roof.

It's not made out of metal.

It's made out of

a canopy.

Yeah, it broke his fall, and he only had a couple scratch and cuts on him.

That's like exactly what they do in every action movie.

They always fall on this canopy.

Yeah, that's what I'm doing.

No one ever falls on the ground.

And it is like a,

so like, I have a French bulldog, so when I saw this story, it was hard not to get emotional because you just think of, you know, I think of my dog,

you know, fall in six story, so it was really like.

How did he get out there in the first place?

He got loose from his owner, and she was, and

he just ran towards,

I I guess, the balcony or something, and

the gate wasn't closed.

And he just jumped right off, not realizing that he was six stories in the air, I guess.

Some dogs ain't the smartest bulbs.

French bulldogs, I know, ain't that smart.

I have them.

They're adorable, but they're not that smart.

And he probably didn't realize he was six stories in the air, and he fell.

I don't know how many, I don't know how long it would take to fall six stories.

Probably pretty fast.

I'll bet you once he was over.

Because I feel like dogs in general have a good sense of danger.

like they kind of know yeah um

and then they they they know like their boundaries you know if you put a dog on a boat or a dog like when there's like a usually with like a balcony type setting they know the boundaries man not this time not this time not this time though but what was he running from that's what we need just because they're they just get overexcited and they just are like they just are like they get a little bit of freedom and they're like you know they're just happy they just i'm probably he was probably running with like smiling like french bulldogs do they can smile like all that energy too.

And he just probably just sailed and it was like thinking that

it was just going to be like a little step or something.

But, you know,

but you know, great ending, though.

Well, luckily it was in New York.

If that was any other city, you probably wouldn't have that bodega downstairs to catch the fall or cafe, whatever it was.

It was a car.

It was like a canvas top of a car.

It was actually a car.

Yeah, it was a case of a car.

I thought it was like a canvas.

No, it was actually a sports car.

I thought you meant it was like an overhang.

Yeah, I don't, yeah, no, but it doesn't change the

feel-good

story, right?

Except the guy whose Corvette got destroyed.

He's not feeling good.

I would feel all right, though.

I would be like, yeah, the dog didn't die.

I have enough for a Corvette.

I have enough for a new team.

Yeah, and plus, you know, like, you know, you,

the fact you parked there saved that dog's life.

I mean, it makes up for probably the $10,000 damage.

And anything you say, you're like, there's literally nothing I can say aside from like, I'm so glad my car was there that will not result you looking like an asshole.

You're like, it's going to be expensive.

People are like, you should die with a YouTuber.

Well, that's what he got insurance for.

I'm sure he had plenty of insurance on that car.

Yeah.

Big deal.

Big deal.

I saw, you want to hear another feel-good dog video?

I saw one, it was in another country.

It looked like India maybe.

And there's a guy walking with two dogs.

And another guy, for whatever reason, tries to kick one of the dogs.

And the dog seems to take this very personally,

pulls his leash out of this guy's hand now this is in a street where like there's just people walking randomly everywhere there's cows in the street all that kind of shit it's it's a frantic yeah it looks like remember like on the old sesame streets they're like before traffic lights and it just had like all the cars crossing and shit

uh it was it's pretty much like that and this dog is like all right it breaks away on the leash and attacks the dude.

And then the other dog's like, oh, all right, this is what we're doing.

He breaks breaks away.

So now two dogs are attacking this one guy who tried to kick the dog and missed, incidentally, and just gets torn up.

It's awesome.

Instant redemption.

Instant karma, baby.

Well, and instant regret.

But I think

I'm sure there's a.

Do you know the fate of those dogs after they did it, though?

Dude, the fate of women in this country probably is not that great.

I don't think they're thinking about their dogs at all.

They're not punishing dogs.

Oh, you don't think those dogs were put to death, though, for that?

I don't think so.

It didn't look like that type of country.

It looked like the type of country.

They just walked by and

if you're trying to kick my dog and he attacks you, hey, what do you think was going to happen, you fucking idiot?

I don't think they do that in India, but I think they do that in China.

Like, legit.

They like eat dogs in China for real.

Oh, yeah.

Yeah, they have that festival that your vase talks.

I don't want to talk about animal abuse.

Let's talk about something good.

Let's talk about Harry's.

Shaving, right?

Yeah, shaving, Jiggy.

Let's get off this dog stuff.

You know what Harry's is?

I mean, Christ, you know what Cujo was.

Let me tell you what Harry's is.

Harry's is

the premier

shaving company right now.

In your own words, tell your listeners about your travel plans for the summer

and how you won't forget your Harry's razor.

I thought you were going to Grand Canyon this year.

Yeah, it fell through.

Oh, yeah.

My family's going away without me.

Next week, they're going on a cruise, all-girl cruise.

What?

What kind of cruise?

Yeah, where are you cruising?

All-girl cruise.

Where are you cruising?

They're going to three places, places, nine days.

Nine-day cruise, three places, all just, but it's not all girls on the boat, it's all gals that are going to get a boat.

Yeah, like they're, my wife's mother is going, her sister is going,

some of her grandkids are going.

So it's an all-girl trip.

Right.

And where does it leave from?

New York.

Or Baltimore.

Baltimore.

So yeah, they'll just drive down.

Yeah.

Debbie won't fly.

She won't

fly either.

But she would.

Like if pressed?

I don't know.

What about the girls?

Do they care about flying or flying?

They would go.

They would go.

They would fly.

They're not scared.

It's close enough, though.

No big deal.

Wow.

So you got

themed?

Is it like an IJ cruise or a Kiss cruise or one?

Just

go a couple islands and then come back.

Nine days, dude.

If we don't hang out at least one of those nine days, fuck you then.

Now that I know he doesn't have any home shit to do,

we better go see a movie or something.

I'm not my dog, though.

And I'm starting to feel the pressure right now i'm like i know something's gonna go wrong

i know something's gonna go wrong and like the dawn of the dogs is gonna have a swollen pad or something and i'm gonna and i'm gonna be on the hook you know like it's like i gotta look i gotta man up literally i gotta man up with all with everybody gone i'm the only one there now do you feel you feel that pressure like yeah being the only uh only one around oh yeah because my wife takes care of everything

so now like i'm like I would like if something happens like I'm on it's my watch now.

Well, I mean, if she does, they've been married 25 years.

If she's been doing everything for 25 years, the expectation of you should be almost nothing.

Like, they should be like, I'm happy he can get himself dressed because we do everything else for him.

I can't even call her to be like, what should I do?

Because she won't have self-service.

Oh, yeah.

And

a lot of times at sea, she won't have cell service, but I tell her, every time you get cell service, call me so I can, you know, in case something's going on, I know what to do next.

It sounds like she should consider boarding all of you.

At least I know that dogs and Walt are safe.

They're being fed and taken care of.

My mom has offered to come and stay, but I was like, no, that's crazy.

I don't need my mom to come and stay because, you know,

if you're available.

I mean, if you wanted to, I guess, that would have been a good thing.

You can stop in every day, but you don't have to sleep here.

Here are the best times.

Oh, yeah, Harry's we were talking about.

Yeah.

They deliver high-quality, travel-friendly shave supplies at a great low price.

Just $2 a blade, Jiggy.

I can see you got a little shadow going on there.

I actually have a Harry's anecdote.

My barber in New York City worked at the original Harry's

in New York.

He's a great barber.

I think it started as

a high-end barber shop in Manhattan.

And they expanded to products, which are all great.

And then he was like, I need some blades to keep this Harry's legacy going.

10 million people have tried Harry's.

Razor blades like

toner

and copier ink.

Biggest rip-offs in American history, I believe.

Oh, yeah.

Razorblades and Toner?

Toner, like

your ink, copier ink.

Right.

The most overpriced.

What's a copier?

Tell me more about this, Kojo.

But I believe they are the most overpriced

market in the history of American commerce.

I'm not kidding, right?

You're right.

I mean, I think they sell printers at a loss just to sell the ink.

The ink.

I've heard that.

And I'll bet you the handles are the same deal.

Ink is

more

expensive per gallon than blood, than human blood.

I would believe that.

Why are we not hijacking that?

Yeah, that's true.

Yeah.

Well, it's like, isn't it like.

I'm not asking you to believe it.

It's a fact.

Isn't it like $20, $30 a cartridge?

Yeah.

So, and then, and then, but for so long, until Harry's came along, the Razorblade blade industry thought they could rip us off the same way the toner industry.

Well, what's somebody going to do?

Offer one cheaper?

Good luck!

Right?

And then Harry came along.

And they deliver it.

These are delivered blades, right?

They could be delivered.

They could be delivered, or you could get them at Target, I believe.

But it makes more sense to get them online.

I'll tell you why.

Because you can use our code.

You can use our code.

They have vibrating heads, heated.

blades, handles that look like a prop in a sci-fi movie.

All right, let's not get carried away, Harry's.

Quality, durable blades at a fair price, just two bucks a blade.

They own a world-class blade factory in Germany, so they're doing the old, like,

industrialist thing where Harry's is like, hey, I'm going to own the factory where they're making the steel and then turn it into the blades, and then I'll sell the blades.

Like, probably owns the trains that bring the ore and all that shit.

Yeah.

He's like a modern day.

It's over.

Yeah, you can shoot.

You had your time ripping us off, but no longer.

Even if they used to put the razors under lock and key.

Like whenever you go to, you know, if you would like go to a Walgreens, I would always be like, why are they locking up like some things?

And razors would always be.

Razors are always locked up, but then there's a...

Similac is locked up too a lot of places.

But they would even lock up like toothpaste sometimes.

Like you'd like who's trying to rob the toothpaste?

Somebody.

Somebody.

That's why they did it.

But then there's like thousands of items that are non-locked, but then razors always.

Razors, I guess, because they were so expensive and so overpriced.

You know, you could, you could afford to lose a pack of gum, but at the costs, you know, these

blood thirsty

razor companies were charging, you couldn't afford to lose if you were a store owner.

You know, and then you're

and they just got to extreme measures.

We're like, screw it, we're locking him up.

We're locking them down.

Enough's enough.

Enough is enough.

Right.

Okay, so.

There's 100%

quality guarantee, Jiggy.

If you don't love your shave, let them know and they'll give you a full refund.

So this summer, refresh your wallet and your face with Harry's trial set.

It comes with

weighted ergonomic handle for an easy grip, five-blade razor with a lubricating strip and trimmer blade for close shave, rich lathering shave gel that will leave you smelling great, and a travel blade cover to keep your razor dry and easy on the go.

So I'm not sure.

I guess you'll have to find out.

I think it's very inexpensive.

It's like two bucks or something.

It's really cheap.

It doesn't say you can.

There is.

You can get your trial set at harry's.com/slash T-E-S-D.

So make sure you go to Harry's.com/slash T-E SD to redeem your offer and let them know that we sent you to help support the show.

Well, I guess you kind of tell them that with the code, though, right?

So you don't have to directly talk to anyone if you don't want to.

That's Harry's baby.

You going anywhere this summer, Jiggy?

I leave for Europe on Sunday.

Europe on Sunday?

I go once a year.

You're doing a European tour?

I wouldn't call it quite a tour, but I'm doing a show in London.

I do one show,

at least one show a year in London.

It's always around my birthday.

So I head there for a show on August 24th in London at the Star of Kings, which is right near King's Cross in, I think, pretty central London.

So looking forward to that.

And the people over there are great.

I know you guys have a lot of British listeners and

they're a fun crew.

They like to party.

They do like to party.

And

they drink in a way,

they love

jaeger bums which is a throwback and sambuka sambuka sambuka little booka they go buka with it which i i i you don't see that here so i appreciate them bringing the books they also bring piss in the streets i noticed there's like basically outdoor urinals where guys are like it would be as if somebody were pissing in a trough and on on broad street like that's how open it is right wouldn't you say they're just uh it's a they're they're very polite though i i find the british people to be very polite in general but they're they're they're fun to go out with but very polite like even i i went into um a pub and i was standing out you can stand outside and drink there which is cool and there was a homeless guy who came up to me and he was like uh excuse me do you have 10p and i didn't have any change or anything i was like oh no sorry i just had one it's going down the gutter but he was like imagine this happening in new york he looked at me and he goes no i'm sorry for bothering you and then i was like this next level politeness you want to get that at penn station what else are you doing while you're over in europe um doing uh Going to Italy for a few days, northern Italy, like Milan and Venice.

I've never been to northern Italian.

Vacation or at work?

Yeah, just touring around.

Oh, yeah.

And then going to Berlin for a few days and then London for the show.

Are you going to go see Stonehenge?

No.

Stonehenge is kind of far.

It's not really close to London.

It's kind of a trek.

It's northern England.

I would go, but.

Kiss the Blarney Stone?

It is.

Oh, no.

You're going to go see the Vatican?

No.

No.

I went to the Vatican, but that's in Rome.

We're going to like, it's like Venice.

Is that where it's all water?

Like the water city, yeah.

And then I heard Como, which is supposed to be beautiful.

Packed.

Packed with people.

Yeah.

Yeah.

I'm not looking forward to it.

The canals are the city in general.

Both.

I'm going to be there for two nights.

I heard it's just like extremely busy in the summertime, which is not usually my speed, but.

It's supposed to be so beautiful that hopefully you all want one of those on the little

gondola

little romantic gondola ride you're bringing your woman i'm gonna go i think i'm gonna try a romantic gondola ride nice but i i heard it's like you know did you feel awkward because there was somebody like like paddling you through this yeah like would you catch a bj while he was paddling listen this is totally normal in me

go with it go with it um well i have you seen those um pictures of like what places how they pitch you on a place and then what it actually is.

There's a couple of like interesting articles like that online now, but Venice is always one of them.

Is like you picture yourself on this river and it's like you in a gondola and it's like sunsetting, but in reality, there's like it's like a high, like a traffic jam highway gondolas.

Like you can reach out and you're touching some guy from like Cincinnati and there's like people everywhere, you know, and there's rats everywhere and everything else.

Are there rats there?

In Venice?

Absolutely.

I mean, that's

what rats.

I mean, have you seen Indiana Jones?

Exploded with water?

I just feel like

exploding with water.

I just feel like, yeah, with all that water and heat, there's got to be tons of rats.

I think it's.

But you don't know that, though, right?

I don't, just from Indiana Jones.

Okay.

The way you explain it, though, like, there was a time when I had a real wanderlust, right?

I wanted to go everywhere.

As you get older, like, I'm hearing that.

They're like, oh, it's crowded.

It's hot as hell, and there's rats everywhere.

I'm like, who the fuck would want to go there?

I mean, this isn't what the tourism board tells us.

I was going to say, come to our rat-infested waters.

Yeah, there's plenty of places.

Two nights, though.

Just two nights.

And then, like, there's a, I'm going to Portofino, which is supposed to be, like, a little more quaint, and then Lake Como, which is supposed to be pretty chill.

Overall, it's a pretty chill beginning part of that.

How many days are you in Europe?

Two weeks total.

Two weeks.

And then, I think, four or five days in

London.

So you won't be around either.

So even if I want, like, I just got your...

your phone details and I couldn't even reach out to you.

Like if I can't get a hold of my wife, you're going to be gone too.

Oh, you're at this point.

I was good.

Man, everyone around you.

Might as well delete it.

He's going into his notes right now.

I can't call Jiggy about this.

He's in Venice.

He's your romantic gondola.

Yeah, imagine that.

Enjoy the purv watching you and paddling.

I'm going to get a text.

It's going to cost me $15 to text back.

There's something wrong with my dog.

Jiggy, are you there?

No one can reach me.

It's a 911.

There's something wrong with his, what do you call him?

His hand, his pie, his little paws messed up.

What do I do?

I think it was an owl attack.

My wife's on a cruise.

The paw's injured.

Didn't Brian say that he expected at least one night that he was home too?

You could call him?

I was like, yeah, but.

Yeah, but if I call him with this whole dog issue, then he's going to be like, oh, let's hang out.

Like, we haven't hung out enough in the past 45 years.

What else do we got?

What else do we got?

This may be a first.

We're back with an advertiser that was uh banned we banned an advertiser just for a moment walt led the uh

led the ban the boycott of blue chew

due to some legit concerns i'd say yeah i bought it i bought what he was selling looked into it yeah i did consulted my urologist and another doctor who we're going to talk to in a minute and they both said that this is kind of common the online come and see you and prescribe stuff.

Do you think it's because it's such a low

pressure, low stakes drug that they're like, who gives a shit?

Unless you're on heart medication, yeah, I guess so.

Blue chew, they're going to accept us back?

They're accepting us back.

Who made that call?

The ad guy, I guess.

We have an ad guy?

Well, we have our...

We lost our ad guy.

We lost our ad guy from, not because of Bluetooth, but because of the Audible ad recently.

So now we're...

I don't worry about it.

We're excommunicated.

Yeah, but so I don't know.

We get thrown off this podcast network.

Our ad that leaves us.

We've been going for 10 years.

We should be at the top of our game.

We're getting outcasts.

We should be excommunicating people.

We should be shunning motherfuckers.

I see Kevin in LA.

Can't even make eye contact with me.

I'm sorry.

Okay, I'm sorry.

He's like, I don't buy you.

I didn't want to do it.

Did you just call their doctor and he accepted you?

They accepted you back.

Yeah.

Now,

you called me and you're like, I'm going to have a real doctor call in or come to the come to the stash and

assure you that this is all on the up and up and that there's nothing fishy, there's nothing shady about Blue Chew and the way that they handle

people

getting and acquiring the Blue Chew.

Now, I'm asking, is the doctor that we are going to talk to, is he on the Blue Chew payroll?

I don't think so.

It's Mary Beth's dad.

He's a doctor.

A doctor.

General practitioner, right?

He's a general practitioner.

Soul bones.

And he works in, yes.

And he also works in the psychiatric department somewhere or other.

So like general practice, meaning that if you had

the flu, you could go to him

as a local doctor.

It's like he's that

the old-fashioned.

Like a Marcus Welby.

Exactly.

He's the Marcus Welby of...

He's the Marcus Welby of that town.

Yeah.

Okay.

I like that.

Yeah.

Pulse him.

They call him Doc.

So that says a lot.

That's endearing.

One of those guys that like gave birth to half the people in the uh the town already, or delivered to half the people.

Yeah, I don't think he's had any kids himself, but yeah, so we're gonna call up Marybeth's dad and talk about erections.

Question and the safety,

Walt.

Do you ever?

I know this might be a difficult question for her answer, and I imagine you may want to pass, but do you ever you ever watch porn online or no?

You're just no, okay, because I do.

Okay, and that's that does that mission.

It's got you into trouble once going on.

No, but I have been seeing on like Pornhub Blue Chew ads.

So

now.

But that means like we're in the same mix.

We're in with pornography.

In the same mix as like.

Yeah.

As Pornhub?

Yeah,

I'm sure that's the correlation most people immediately make.

Yeah, I don't know.

It's not like they're giving us that much moolah either, though, Blue Chew.

That we're.

Yes,

they just did.

They just side for six more months, so yeah, they are.

I sold my soul fucking seven years ago.

I don't give a shit.

I'm ready to go.

Yeah, you're looking in the wrong direction.

Yeah, I'm like, this fucking black iris is a mine or it goes straight to hell.

There's no soul left.

About the time I did my first fucking Subway commercial is when that shit died off.

I like the club sub.

You and Jared walking down the street,

big friends, ear to ear.

Yeah, what are you going to do?

This was post is bad news, too, right?

Yeah.

I was like, how much are they paying?

I mean, I guess.

He somehow still represents it.

Yeah, they didn't prove it yet.

They didn't prove it yet, right?

Well, innocent until proven guilty in the United States.

What was the other one?

Cheerios?

No, we did.

We do, well, True's very tricky.

They don't do commercials.

If we did commercials, like real commercials, I wouldn't even fucking have to work anymore.

What they do is integrations where they pay True TV for their talent to be like, I love a Subway sub.

And then they like fucking flick me a shiny nickel and I go about my way, but it's in my contract and I have to do them.

Okay, so all right, so let's talk to the doc.

All right,

we'll see if he watches porn online and if he saw the blue chew ass.

If he's anything like his daughter, he does right now.

You better believe it.

Look at her.

You people don't have ad blockers?

No.

Hey, Joe.

Yes.

Hey, it's Brian.

I'm here with Q and Walt and Gidd, who who I don't think you know Gidam.

I don't think he knows.

Hey, Doc!

Well, yeah, he's watched comic book, man.

Okay.

Hello, Doctor.

Yeah, that's Walt.

Walt had some concerns that I told him you could

alleviate, yeah.

So, Walt, your concerns were the prescription of this medication by a...

by an online consultation.

Yeah, how thorough is it and how often do you, would they be turned down and how how accurate or

you know

is it enough just to call in and be like hey,

this is my medical history and then they just take it your word for it?

Well, I mean if people are gonna lie about their medical history, they'll lie to people in person whether they're online or not.

So I don't think that that matters.

You know, the difference between actually seeing someone and seeing them through either Facebook or I mean a

video conference, conference which which is actually done pretty commonly now.

I'm not involved with any of that but I know a lot of my patients

they'll talk to nurses

online or through their phone and are often prescribed medicines.

As far as this group of medicines,

they're very safe in the right group.

The only people that really can't take them are people that

have a bad enough heart that they can't engage in sex or if they're they're on like a nitroglycerin product because this these drugs

vasodilate that's how they work they increase the blood flow so nitroglycerin does the same thing and so if someone's already on nitro and they take one of these then their blood pressure can drop too low and that's a that's a danger so it's contraindicated with nitroglycerin um but as far as

phone consultations or um

video consultations um I'm not a big fan of it, but it's becoming much more common and it's pretty much going to become standard for minor problems.

And I think this group of medicines has been done online for a very long period of time.

They are quite safe meds

in the right person.

And the people, if you wonder if you're well enough to be able to engage in sex, the rule of thumb is if they can walk two flights of steps without stopping to rest, then they're probably safe to engage in sex.

Shit.

Yeah, if it's at least three or four steps, that probably doesn't count.

Well, how big are these steps?

And are they going up or down?

Yeah, going up.

And do you count escalators as steps?

What about in the pool?

Yeah, I don't think escalator would do it.

All right, Walt.

So, anything else you want to do?

I mean, if

we have, so this is now the official TSD doctor, huh?

I think so, yeah.

TSD physician.

So like, I mean,

if any, any concerns, we can just, like, if future concerns pop up, we can refer.

I have 26 years of family medicine practice.

In the last four years, I've worked urgent cares.

But I'm an osteopath.

About 10% of the docs in the country are osteopaths, so I'm trained in manipulation too.

I teach at a medical school and

I've worked at a state mental hospital for 30 years.

So I have a lot of different experiences.

I was also deputy coroner for 10 years.

So

I have a lot of experience in a variety of

fields.

I also was a nursing home medical director for 20 years.

I

was a student health center physician for 25 years.

And right now I work at

an urgent care that's student health.

You must have not heard the part where he already got the job of

Cape Town physician.

How often do you prescribe blue chew

or i mean i don't or viagra

what's i use that i'm sorry

how often do you treat people who have a need for these types of enhancing drugs or not much anymore and because all my patients pretty much well first of all we we don't use those type of meds in the mental hospital

Because we're discouraging sex in a mental hospital.

Salt people.

See what what happened there.

And in the student health population, you know, I'm treating 18 to 22 year olds, and they don't generally have ED problems.

Although some of them

use the drug for

premature ejaculation.

Well, actually, there's no prevent that, but what it does is it makes them ready for round two quicker.

Gotcha.

The refractory time where they can't get an erection after ejaculating actually shortens that so that people are able to go round two quickly.

We don't need to get that graphic.

I think we should get more graphic.

If you have any questions,

sorry.

But I did press back a lot of them.

And you know, usually when a new drug came out in a new class, I would try not to write it for six months.

But I had no choice with this drug.

The patients would have left me as their doctor if I didn't write it for them.

People love it, man.

It's the crack of boners.

Right.

Yeah.

Right.

Let in the pencil.

Letting the pencil.

Let in the pencil, Walt.

All right.

All right.

So I guess we're Bluetooth

again.

We're back on the Blue Chew train.

All right.

Who do I talk to?

Blue Chew.

Blue Chew.

Oh, yeah.

You know, be good for a Blue Chew commercial.

I'll call

and do the online.

No, do the online thing.

Yeah.

That'll be the next one.

All right.

We're back on the Bluetooth train.

Thank you, Joe.

All right.

Thanks, Doc.

Thank you, Doc.

Thank you, Doctor.

You want to say goodbye to your dad, Mary Beth?

Take it easy.

Seems like a real nice guy you're done.

Do we have any kind of code to give out for

a legitimate ad for this?

This is a legitimate ad.

This just took us back.

Yeah.

So Blue Chew, B-L-U-E-C-H-E-W.com.

That's blue, like the color blue.

They bring you the first chewable with the same FDA-approved active ingredients as Viagrancialis, so you know they work.

You can take them any time, day or night, on a full stomach, and since they're chewable, they work up to twice as fast.

Q, earlier, you said, I tried Blue Chew the other night, and I'll just say this.

Wow, my partner agreed.

And then I said to you, when I tried Blue Chew, I really noticed something extra.

Remember, we had that conversation?

We talked about that at dinner.

Yeah.

So now this isn't just for guys who can't perform.

It's for any guy who wants extra function, right, get him?

Yeah.

It cuts down that refactory period.

You heard the doc.

How old are you like?

20, 21 right now?

22.

You should be bouncing back pretty quickly.

Yeah.

It's prescribed on the

ship straight to your door in a discrete package.

So no in-person doctors visit, waiting in the pharmacy, no more awkwardness.

They're made in the USA, not one of these other countries that's in some kind of upheaval.

And since Blue Chew prepares and ships direct, they're cheaper than a pharmacy.

And right now we got a special deal.

Visit bluechew.com and get your first shipment free when you use our promo code, T-E-S-D.

You're just going to pay $5 shipping.

Again, that's B-L-U-E-C-H-E-W.com.

Promo code T-E-S-D to try it free.

It's the better, cheaper, faster choice.

Oh, and they thank us.

Wait, oh, we're supposed to thank them.

Oh, we thank them for sponsoring the podcast.

How good could Blue Chew feel about that?

Like,

that's where we ought to suck their dick.

They're putting it down on the paper.

Yeah, you know what?

Thank you, Blue Chew.

So, Jiggy, do you have dates that you wanted to talk about?

Well, why are you at it?

Do you want to talk about why you're in town today?

Or is it since it's...

No, I mean, well, I'm in town.

A film I produced last year is being screened for the Mammoth Film Festival here in Red Bank.

Is it Mammoth or Mammoth?

I could be totally butchering it.

I think it's a message.

Probably Mammoth.

Yeah.

But yeah, it's a great little festival.

So we're screening it today.

First time it's been screened in New York or New Jersey, but true indie movie.

We crowdfunded all the

funds for it.

And yeah, we're really proud of it.

What's the name of the movie?

It's called The Primrose.

It's a coming-of-age dramedy that I co-wrote and helped direct, produced.

And yeah, it's a great little film.

It's exciting, huh?

So we're hopefully.

What's it rated?

PG-13.

It would have been like a PG 13.

I think it would be a PG-13.

A lot of F-bombs in it.

So no nipples?

No nips.

I would have bet my life that you would have made an R rated movie.

I don't know why.

Well, I don't know why.

I apologize because I would have.

You strike me as a dirty boy.

No,

I don't know why, but that's wrong of me to just make that kind of assumption that

you would make it.

Like, I'm impressed that you would go with PG-13.

I think it would be,

unless I'm underestimating the amount of F-bombs in the movie.

If it got an R rating, it would be strictly for language, but not for content.

Oh, wait a minute.

Oh, you haven't submitted it to the MPA yet?

No, this is just his, like, he's guessing.

Yeah, I'm just guessing.

Oh, you do have.

Oh, so you have.

okay.

Yeah, but I'm not sure.

I think that if it was rated, if it got an R rating, it would be strictly for language, not for content.

But

F-bombs.

Well, how old is the cast like?

How old are these characters?

It's a college movie, so

you know,

there's some language, but who are some of your influencers as a filmmaker, a producer?

God, you know, that's tough.

I

when it comes to movies, I've always

love watching movies with uh

that have great character arcs, and that's that's I found that's very difficult to do.

I mean, honestly, like a lot of this movie I spent like producing it, so it was like location scouting and and casting and just like getting all the behind-the-camera stuff, which is way harder than I thought it was.

I mean, honestly, one of the hardest challenges was like feeding people every day.

I was like, How the hell am I gonna feed this entire cast every single day?

And I, so I learned a lot on it.

Yeah, Jiggy wears a lot of hats, man.

Yeah.

Yeah.

He's a comedian.

He's out there crafty.

He's producing shit.

You're going to submit to a whole bunch of festivals.

You hope to get it into the circuit.

Yeah, so

we submitted to about 60 festivals.

We've got into five.

You know, they're smaller end on the festival scale, but the goal is hopefully to get it at the end of that,

you know, about a year, get it onto like a streaming service, maybe like an Amazon or something like that, so more people can see it.

But if people hit me up on social media, my social media is at Jiggy Comedy, like getting jiggy with Jiggy Comedy.

And I've been sending out the film through private links just so people can check it out.

I want people to see it.

So if you hit me up, I'll send you a link of it.

Oh, wow.

That's cool.

Yeah, there we go.

It'll give you something to do over those nine days.

I don't have a streaming service.

You have the Jiggy streaming service.

This is welcome.

You got anything else that you can send me

after I watch that?

Or you got anything else?

Now I'm concerned about your internet connection.

You've been jiggy, the movie's good because all those pauses were really interesting.

Yeah, why does your movie buffer so much?

Who's this buffering character?

I love this effect.

This buffering effect.

It's beautiful.

We use it a lot.

It really gave me time to stop and reflect.

And then for London, we still have a few tickets for the London show.

So if people, if you're listening from the UK, I would love to see some ants out at the UK show.

You can find tickets at giggycomedy.com.

So J-I-G-G-Y Comedy.com.

And then there's a link, link, London Show, right on there.

And like I said, we got a few tickets left, but it's always a lot of fun.

It's my birthday that night, so we do karaoke.

I do a full stand-up performance.

And it's really, it's a full night.

It's a lot of fun.

And then we go to Nando's, which is a UK chicken place.

It's a chicken place.

People love it.

I love Nando.

It's like my favorite place.

It's like Chick-fil-A here, wouldn't you say?

Maybe even more so.

Almost like a Chipotle.

They're that ubiquitous in London.

They're everywhere.

And so since I've been doing these shows the last three or four years in the UK, I take everyone who comes to the show and we do a

Nando's meetup the next day after the show, which is always a lot of fun.

So if you want to come to that, it's jiggycomedy.com and there's a link for London Show right there.

Forgive me if I asked this the first time you're on.

Can I have your passwords?

What is your Netflix master?

But what type of but what type of comedy do you use?

Is it topical?

Is it political?

I can't.

What the hell?

Who's making that noise?

Is that you, Giddam?

You're making that noise over and over again?

He is.

I can hear him.

He's like, he's got some computer noise going over and over again.

Please turn it down, Giddam.

Please.

My stand-up is mostly observational.

It's a lot of storytelling.

I don't dip into any of the political stuff, and I'm pretty clean.

But yeah, mostly observational humor.

And in the London show, I almost do a little bit of a variety show.

So I bring in some video elements and

I have crowd participation and we do sing-along stuff.

It's like it's it's definitely more variety style more than I do in the US and

I try to make it more of like a one-off event every year.

How often does it t how long does it take you to craft a show like like you work in new like materials?

How long does it take you to make a full comedy show like like

your act.

Yeah, like your stand-up act.

How long is it to cultivate that?

Like how long does it take to come up with like how long do you go after an hour?

Yeah, I mean when I'm headlining headlining, I do an hour.

I mean, the way I describe it sort of is like,

you know, your act is made up of all these different bits, right?

So, and unless you tape an hour for a special, which I'm not at that point yet,

the bits can stay in the act for a while.

You just add more bits in and they cycle out, but you kind of keep them all in your arsenal.

It's like, I don't know if you don't play golf, right?

I've seen it.

But, you know, in golf, like you, you learn a lot of different types of shots, you know, and you might not use those shots every different round, but you have them like in your arsenal.

And that's kind of what it's like for me.

Like, you build up more stories, more bits, and they're kind of always in the back burner, ready to go.

And then, um, you know, hopefully, you get to a point where you can put them out on a special, and then you kind of start from scratch.

And so, I'm in the collection phase of like, you know, I've been doing this for a while, but just working up to have like my best hour.

And depending on the night and where I am, you know, you're going to get different jokes for the different setting, you know.

But I'm constantly writing, constantly thinking of things.

Do you run it by your girl?

Like, do you like run parts of your act by her, like jokes and shit?

And if you do, does she know it?

Yes, and no.

I try not.

I actually have learned over the years, like, with girlfriends in general, I try not to run bits because

I feel like they never react the way I want them to.

So, like, I'm just like, I feel like they give me a feedback.

To say that I'm funny.

Yeah, like, oh, wait,

you're going to actually laugh at this?

Comedy, stand-up especially, is so specific of like being on stage with a microphone.

It's dark.

You You need those setting parameters.

And sometimes if you, that's why, like, if anyone asks me, hey, tell me a joke, and we're like out at a bar, it never works.

It never lands, you know, because you need to have that setting.

So I don't usually run too many bits by, but girls I've dated, I've certainly got material from them.

And I just write things down because I think that some things are just

funny and they don't even realize

that it fits into

an act or then other people might experience it.

Did you always want to be a stand-up comedian?

Did you you know that's what you wanted to be when you're a kid?

I knew from when I was in high school that I loved making people laugh.

I was in this improv troupe and the first time ever on stage was from the in front of the entire school which was like a thousand kids which is a huge show even now for me and making everyone laugh was very addicting so I knew that I wanted to make people laugh and it wasn't till maybe midway through college I started doing stand-up and once you tell the first joke and you get even a little bit of a response you want to keep it going back and keep getting better.

And like literally the same way that I write and think about my sets then is how I think about it now.

It's never perfect.

It's always in motion.

It's always being worked on.

And that's why I think I love it.

You can do it forever and it's never perfect.

And

you're constantly crafting.

I think that that sounds like any artist in any medium, right?

Because like you said,

if you're an artist and you want to draw, it never feels perfect.

It always feels like you're improving on it or trying to make it better, right?

Yeah, and I think the other thing about stand-up that I love is that it's not like it's not based on like I played baseball my whole life, but there's only so long you can.

Oh, wait a minute.

You were a spitball guy, too.

You didn't know what a spitball.

I didn't know what a spitball is.

I actually come here to learn.

Tell me more, Cojo.

So that's what a spitball is.

And dogs can get rabies.

Two things to do with spit.

I like stand-up because it doesn't,

you know, it doesn't stop.

You keep on evolving.

And you could be a 60, 70-year-old comic, and what's important to you, you could find an audience that is important to them, too.

Where it's a little more difficult in music,

I feel like your sound has to be relevant to your age.

Same thing with acting.

You could be a great actor, actress, but then time isn't favorable to you, and you might not get the work.

Stand-up, you can always do the work.

Or an artist.

Unless you get all crippled up, if you're an artist and you're

like an artist, like someone who paints or something forever.

So you don't prefer a certain

age of your audience.

You think that you like

to have

a variety or a diverse age in the crowd, you think?

Yeah, I mean, when I was younger doing stand-up, I thought that

I wanted to perform for college-type audiences.

I'm going to be the next Dean Cook.

Yeah, right.

Well, I know.

You thought you could make it for it.

College kids can be pretty judgmental, though, can't they?

And they're tougher now than even when I was in college.

Like, I went and did a college recently.

It was one of the worst gigs I've had in the last five years.

And, like, I went and did the show, and it was in like a dorm, and like, there's kids playing ping bomb.

It was in a dorm.

It was in a dorm living room.

All the lights are on.

It was at 10 o'clock at night.

It wasn't so much a gig as they discovered me sleeping in their room.

And everyone, they had...

Unironically, all had like, there was at least five or six selfie sticks, and people are Snapchatting.

And I'm like, this is not going to be good.

And it wasn't.

It was like not a fun gig.

College gigs are tough.

How much did you get paid for that, if you don't mind me asking?

I just want to see how much you sell that piece of your soul for.

I think it was like a thousand bucks.

Wow.

Decent money.

Decent money.

Good money.

But that's a bit.

College is.

The only way you can do it, though, is to have fun with them on your terms.

Yeah.

Now,

do you have to

take into consideration

a college audience rather than, let's say, it might be a nightclub audience?

Do you do, will you do or change it or no whatever your whatever your stand-up is it is and you're not going to like take certain things out to not like maybe annoy a certain crowd a paid a paid

I was misgendered when I walked in I was like dude get your gender straight it's 2019 am I right am I right well I mean like I mean like I mean you wouldn't tell the Disney like no think that that the little mirror maid wasn't masculine I'm sure to a college

they would they would they would viscerate that she certainly wasn't black

I honestly the best crowds are a paid club or theater audience.

Anytime that someone pays to go to a night of comedy, they know what they're going for.

Those are the best crowds.

And they're prone to play if they want to have a good thing.

They're there to listen to stand-up, and

they want to listen to you.

Those are the best crowds.

A college crowd is the same as doing a corporate gig.

And it essentially is.

It's a corporate gig.

And they're very, very, very hit or miss.

You know, you can have some great gigs.

I've had some great corporate gigs or college gigs.

And I've had some that are just hell gigs.

you know and a lot of times it's because they don't set you up for success like I did a show in an air in a airplane hangar it was a corporate gig in an airplane hangar and they didn't and so that's not a good place to perform you guys

it was for a private jet company and they had me come in to do stand-up what they didn't tell me was a fundraiser and they had

two right before I go on stage they open up two massive buffet lines in the hangar so everyone goes to get like sliced carved turkey meats and stuff they put me i'm not even on stage no light they they bring me up there's like 10 people now everyone else is in the buffet line and then they put a movie screen size like a massive projection movie size screen projection of a unicef commercial behind me playing on repeat through my entire set what was the audio playing too no not the audio okay but it was like you know

to raise money i think for um you know it was world hunger world it was something like that there's a lot of black kids with flies on their their faces in that fucking commercial.

It's hard to be humorous with that behind you, right?

There was nothing like that.

Nothing funny about a UNICEF video player.

I mean, if you can make people laugh with that playing behind you,

what'd you say?

I didn't make people laugh on that one, Walt.

That was not a good set for me.

But that's like...

Was that better or worse than the dorm with the selfie sticks and all that?

In terms of reception.

And you had to have mentioned, did you, you had to have mentioned the commercial, right?

Did you mention that?

You're not in your gig now?

No, like that was like, I don't know, people don't aren't laughing.

That was, I did that show when I was like four or five years into stand-up, so I didn't have the tools that I would have now to like maybe

riff a little bit off of it.

You know, but back then, I was like, I was horrified, and then, you know, I had every right to be.

I remember J-Lo looking like that when she was a fly girl.

Hey!

But you know what's so strange with these hell gigs?

It's so weird.

I'm sure comics can back this up.

Sometimes, like, the worst gig, right?

Even you take the college gig with the girls and the selfie sticks and this gig in the airline hanger with the UNICEF thing behind me.

I'll leave stage being like, that was the worst thing I've ever done.

And then I'll always get

the friendliest response from like three or four people being like, that was the best thing I've ever seen.

It's very interesting how, like, your perception of the night.

They were talking about the buffet.

I know.

Like, that turkey.

Whoever carved that turkey melted right in my mouth.

Did you make that?

Oh, you're that guy in front.

You were the guy working for UNICEF, weren't you?

The first time you do stand up,

are you confident or are you scared?

The first time I ever did it, terrified.

Terrified.

I didn't know what was going to happen.

It was an open mic.

My friends put me on the list.

I went up and I just did anything off the top of my head.

But honestly, I got one little flicker of a laugh and that was like enough.

That was enough to say they don't.

They say it's like a drug.

Is that true?

Absolutely.

Yeah, 100%.

That's all right.

Like a lot of the

guys I know, it's like they obsessively need to go on stage.

Like, that's how they get so fucking good, they're just constantly going up.

I can get a little,

I can get something here, I can get, you know, a couple minutes here, and they just do it and do it.

But like around here, you couldn't do that.

Like, he lives in the village, so yeah, I mean,

I disagree.

You think around here?

Oh, that, oh, you talking about Holiday Inn?

The Holiday Inn open mic?

I mean, I take a hike

once once a month in the banquet room of the holiday inn.

A diner.

I used to threaten my kids all the time that I was going to go do food humor at the diner and they were going to buy dinner and I was going to do it.

And I was going to just do all food jokes.

And I would do my routine in the car as we were driving around

the restaurant and we'd see it going back and forth to wherever we were going.

So there's plenty of places you can go to hone.

Okay, you're right.

You're definitely right.

So let me rephrase: not as many places as respected as, say, the comedy cellar.

Yeah,

that's a yeah, diners and

the banquet rooms of motels.

I do think it's a combination, my personal opinion, is I think it's a combination of getting a lot of stage time, but also you have to live.

You have to be alive, you know what I mean?

And some people are really barreled into the comedy community.

What do you mean by that?

You have to be alive.

Like you have to have comedy experiences or else

you have to have life experiences or else your comedy is not being based off of anything.

You know what I mean?

So if you spend your whole time...

Isn't everybody, I mean, no matter if you're living, you're having a life experience, right?

Yes, but I guess what I I mean is you have to like travel.

You have to get out of your comfort zone.

You have to

go out and do different things besides just being at the clubs all day or just hang out with comedians.

For example, I don't hang out with comedians all day every day.

I find that my act is better because I hang out with a lot of non-comedians.

And my act is better because I do take some nights where I can just go out and do something weird.

And that's where the act grows.

And so for me personally, I think it's a balance between getting good stage time, but also you have to live a little bit, you have to live a little bit outside of the comedy club so that you can bring it in and you have something to say.

The comedy club life is just can't be all you're doing.

You have to have experiences that resonate with your audience, too.

Right.

And so that's why you have to get out there.

You have to be out and living a little bit.

And you'll see the comics

in their act when they're not doing that.

It's like a lot of airline jokes and travel jokes or hotel jokes because that's all they're doing.

They're just going hotel to airplane and they don't see anything else.

So all their jokes are based on that.

How many gigs you do a year you think that's a good question probably like

maybe like 125 150 so every third night basically you're you're doing something and i only consider that like gigs that i'm getting

paid for to a certain extent or like booked for like that that's not like dropping in type like just doing sets that are just drop-in type sets but you know between like 100 maybe like 125 150 a year you ever get to bump anyone no i'm not that level yet No?

What does that mean?

Take someone off a show.

Somebody's supposed to go on and you're going to.

You just show up out of the blue and they're like, they're going on.

You lost your spot.

Or delayed, maybe.

You might have lost it.

It's interesting.

That sort of thing doesn't happen as much anymore, though.

You've never been bumped?

I don't.

I'm not.

Somebody bumped him out of his train seat on the way down here.

I was like, Jesus, Jiggy.

No, but bump,

like back like 15, 20 years ago and before that, people used to get bumped off shows all the the time for people who would drop in and do stuff.

You don't see that as much anymore.

I think it's because we're all connected a little more through like podcasting and social media that like there's a lot more like common respect for people who like going out and doing their thing.

So no matter where you're at, the hierarchy of comedy, I think there's a respect for like I got booked on this spot and people are are

you know, I think they feel bad for bumping now.

But back in like the late 90s, like like Dan Cook would for example, I think was famous for like just showing up and bumping people off spots.

And I don't think he does it anymore.

Do you think he still could?

Is he still popular enough?

Dane Cook, yeah, I mean, he falls in that category.

Like, he was so big that like what he's doing now doesn't seem like he's doing anything, but he's selling out two, three, four thousand seat theaters.

I mean, he's still like, he's, he's a marquee name, but you know, he was doing arenas, so he's doing theaters now.

He's not.

What comedians are doing arenas at this point?

The jokers, baby?

Well, I mean, like, like a stand-up comedian, like, you know, one guy at a mic, that's all.

There's There's nothing.

It's just him and a mic telling jokes.

Is there anybody at that level right now?

Chappelle, Rogan,

Chappelle, Joe Burr, Joe Rogan, the podcaster?

He's a comedian?

He's massive, yeah.

Okay,

I thought he was like

a

host.

No, he's like host, comedian, MMA guy.

Yeah, I know he's into the fight.

He's a stand-up background.

But he's a pure stand-up.

He can do arenas.

Yeah, we did, we did the joke.

I was with the Jokers last weekend, and we did Tacoma Tacoma and

the Tacoma Dome and him and Chappelle sold that thing out.

22,000 seats.

That's bigger than mass.

Together or separate.

Together.

Together.

But that's still like, that's pretty amazing.

22,000 seats for stand-up in a

major market.

Tacoma is like an off-market.

It's not even a huge market, but to do 22,000 seats is pretty crazy.

Did you have somebody you looked?

you looked at when you were when you were getting into it somebody you admired no no no no not oh like who was a a comedy hero yeah it's a little cliche but when i was in high school i used to listen to um soupy sales

i used to listen to um richard pryer albums go to bed and that was way before i started doing stand-up but i was just amazed with his pacing his cadence and like how he would he was just such a good storyteller you know so i used to listen to him uh growing up but then as i got older you know obviously like seinfeld for how he could take jokes and make them he would take something very simple and make it complicated you know i mean like he'd take something very simple and then make it something mundane and and put a spin on it that you didn't see before he said it and then george carlin for how he was such a wordsmith george carlin was like he would never do any crowd work you know i mean he was never like riffing on the crowd it was all it was almost like comedy poetry like every word mattered which i appreciate i don't know if i do that but i appreciate how the how comedy as like an art form can get to a point where it's like it's almost like a speech and like every word mattered and if you watch any george Carlin stuff, it's like he has total command of the room, and everything he says is thought out, which I appreciate.

Very difficult to do.

And he came up with hours and hours and hours of material, you know, throughout his career.

Every year he had a different hour, which is incredibly difficult to do.

The only way, like, my exposure to prior until like high school is just movies.

Oh, those concert movies.

Well, no, I didn't even see, I didn't see the concert movies by that point.

Like, Live on the Sunset Strip or something.

Superman 3?

no uh what is it um stir crazy oh okay uh silver streak like those those concert movies he had two big ones i thought and eddie murphy had some big concert movies i saw that i saw them after those movies yeah eddie murphy they said 70 million or something to come back to do a special

comedy special for netflix

is going to pay him 70 million to do a special the thing that's like unbelievable he should just do all his old stuff right i mean but he he doesn't have any material he hasn't even been on stage.

He hasn't even been on stage in 30 years.

Oh, he accepted.

I think that it's in the works, yeah.

How could you not?

Unless you have so much money.

But what if you bomb, though?

He doesn't care about his movies like that.

Yeah, I mean, those movies are shit that he does.

Like, when's the last good movie that came out that Eddie Murphy was a part of?

Pluto Nash.

I don't think people are counting that one.

Was it Pluto Nash?

Yeah, that was Pluto Nash.

Yeah.

Maybe not even Bofinger.

Bofinger.

Remember, he got good?

It wasn't good, but he got like, he was good in it.

Nutty Professor was good.

Do you think it could sully his legacy?

His special?

More so.

More so than his AIDS jokes and his other specials.

I think he's going to.

Well, yeah, if you listen to Delirious, though, he would never get away with that.

He would have been banned in the middle of the day.

They know I'm banned.

But wouldn't a lot of comedians, if um, perform through the filter of today, they would like who were huge back in the 80s, they wouldn't be able to.

Carlin couldn't their act today, right?

Carlin would be as welcome on a college campus as a school shooter.

People would never want him there.

But that's the only way that Eddie Murphy has done stand-up, so I'm very curious of what he's gonna do.

Like, what's he gonna talk about?

And plus, a lot of his stand-up was like, it was all this stuff about him being, like, you know, like, young, and, like, he had so much energy, and, like, the way he saw the world, his perspective perspective was totally of as like a 23-year-old like kid.

So now he's like, he's in his, he's almost 60 now, isn't he?

He's got to be well into this.

I have no, but we don't have any idea what his like world point of view is going to be at all.

It can't be that kid from Delirious.

He was 23.

Right.

Oh, Rock.

What about Chris Rock?

He's somebody you could sell.

Could he sell an arena to somebody?

Yes, Chris Rock can do arenas.

Amy Schumer did.

I don't know if she can now.

But I get there's not many.

Arena comedy is

there's there's not that many.

You're

Maybe 10.

Dice man?

Caffigan?

I don't think he is an arena guy.

He's a theater guy.

It's also a different type of show.

Aziz and Zari.

He can do arenas or Lewis Black?

Lewis Black, still in the same theater?

Yeah, not that.

Eddie Murphy's, what, like 57.

How could Netflix recoup that money?

Could they make money with 70 million?

I don't think they are even.

I don't think their business is.

From Netflix is like how they're so in debt

that there's like no chance they're ever going to be profitable, but somehow they keep getting money and giving money because they like went way overboard on original programming shit.

Like, as a guy who watches a fair amount of TV, I'm like, this is insane.

You know, they're having the new Scorsese movie come out on Netflix.

I agree.

Can you get, do you know the budget of that movie?

It was a Netflix movie.

It was like 200, right?

Wasn't it?

220 million for a Netflix movie.

220 million.

And they're giving the passwords away.

I mean, that's not even even a joke how are they not clamping down and just like securing those accounts so that i mean that's the only way they can because it's probably peanuts relatives they're making you know the subscriptions are making a lot a lot a lot of money a month they have tons of overhead like

for

for all these productions that they're putting on and like their overhead is high um but they also have tons of data you know i mean like all these people they have 150 million subscribers and they have all those emails and all those.

Like,

it's kind of like the Facebook model of, like, I don't think they would ever go out of business.

Well, they're not allowed to sell that data already.

No, I don't think they're going to sell the data, but they, I mean, that's what

the value of the company of why they can keep bringing money, bringing money in, whether they're however they're, you know, and why people invest in the company and buy the stock is like it's because of the 150 million people.

It's because they have access to that many people.

I think that's the whole nature of everything now.

They're getting subscription money, but the power is how they can steer, they can literally make and break

the entire industry with 150 million people.

You know what I mean?

It can,

but everything has its

runs its course, though.

Yeah, I mean, nothing is forever.

I mean, I

think there's some good pieces on how all these streaming services are actually doing a disservice for each other.

And like, there's an argument of, like, how the platform

you should pay for the platform, but the content should be the same across all of them, if that makes sense.

So, like,

so you're saying Netflix, Amazon Prime, Hulu, it's like everybody's going to be able to do that.

They should merge into one company, or they should all have access to them.

They all have access to the same content.

So, the content creator has different revenue streams from the content being put on all these different platforms.

But it makes it better for the consumer if the only differentiator is the platform itself.

That makes the platforms better because they're competing on platforms, not on content.

Right now, it's everyone's competing for content.

Like Netflix buys this, buys this, buys this.

That's why HBO's app sucks balls.

Well, yeah, and they're not developing.

If they just had access, if all those companies had access to the content, then they would only be able to differentiate on the app features.

And that's how they compete, which would make a better user experience for everyone.

But how has that helped the corporation though?

Well,

it doesn't at all.

This is all consumer.

benefit.

There should be a consumer benefit, but like, oh, is that what you think, Jiggy?

All right.

All right.

Fair is fair, I guess.

I don't think that's ever going to happen, though.

But there's just some.

It is a pain in the ass, though, to have to subscribe to all these different things.

And then you still can't get everything you want to watch.

But you think that the bubble, if the bubble is...

How can you watch this much TV?

No, I mean, like...

But how could anybody do that?

But like, there's

like baskets, for example.

That's something I want to watch, but it's like, it's on Hulu but then you have to have a live TV subscription which is 40 bucks a month you know so it's like if you want to watch this one I find a lot of times easier just to buy

just to buy the show

there's just like too much well entertainment do you think it will and I don't know the answer to this but do you think it like kind of relates to like video games in some way like you know what I mean like like the best platform will win i mean because there was a point where you had like all these different types of like oh xbox like consoles and stuff like five or whatever it is well that's like but even back in like the 80s, you had more,

you had more platforms, and then the ones that were really good, they survived and made it.

But

there has to be, at a certain point, like

you, there's just too much.

I personally think that these

companies that are diving into streaming are doing a disservice to themselves when they're taking their stuff off.

Like, an example would be like

CBS online streaming, where you had to pay like $4 a month to get CBS stuff.

I feel like they're doing a disservice

to

their content because, like, no one's going to buy, like, no one's going to get just CBS.

So now, like, they're, everyone's segmenting.

Well, they put, well, they did was, was kind of, I thought, crappy.

I don't, I didn't care because I don't, I wasn't interested, but I heard people talk about it in the store.

They put like

fan favorite sci-fi genre kind of stuff on there.

So, like, you're you're like Star Trek and Twilight Zone.

And they're not going to put like the Dromedy or the

Chicky's like, oh no.

They're going to play movie.

They're not going to put something that's not like, like, that's not going to capture the,

you know, the nerd, the nerd

population that is so prevalent right now.

They're going to put something on there that's going to, like, Mike,

you subscribe to the CBS streaming thing for Star Trek, right?

I did.

Yeah.

I mean, like, because if it's just like, it's like a proven commodity, but like, how much you put that on regularly?

How much does it cost a month?

Well,

$6.99 a month?

$6.99 a month.

And they did the same thing with Twilight Zone for CBS, which I feel like

that was clearly an attempt of like they took a Jordan Peele thing right off the heels of his movie.

He's super popular, and they like purposely don't put it on.

That has to be.

And I think that hurts the creative side of it.

It's like, I don't think the eyeballs got to see.

I never saw the Twilight Zone thing, and I would have watched it if it was a way besides i you know i have no i have no reason to sign up for a cps thing and that's happening across the board there's like there's probably 20 different things you can get you can get espn is one now but i think they're going to merge with the disney one it's like a whole disney hulu and espn will show exclusive sporting events then only on the app or like documentaries I think they'll probably have the 30 for 30s on there and all that other stuff.

But to your point, there's too many streaming services.

I don't know what the...

they're all they're all competing and I think the consumer is losing because now each one is gonna have less

So it's making people like have to spend more, but I don't know what the I don't know what the solution is

Some firebrand this year this young jiggy I think the solution is getting the getting everyone's passwords wait Mike Mike come back

Hey, you got

Well, it's like you got this whole nerd thing.

Oh Mike wait

You don't you don't like like to be called a nerd in this day and age?

Well, I've always been called a nerd.

I just started liking it recently.

But wait, so on the Star Trek thing, for $6.99, what do you get?

Just Star Trek episodes?

You get everything.

What's everything?

All the CBS, it's all access.

Oh, it's Channel 2 or our Channel 2 CBS.

Channel 2 Premium.

Okay, I thought it was Star Trek-specific.

No.

Oh, okay.

No, so you get everything.

Premium.

You must be paying him too much, man.

He's got CBS premium.

But if you let's say, who is that much of a fan of CBS's lineup on Monday through Friday that they're like, well, I have it on demand at least.

There you go.

But my Star Trek.

Back when Murder She Wrote was on.

Well, I think ironically, the people who watch CBS in general

are the people who aren't really into streaming in general.

Right.

Like the people who they're usually sitting down and watching the stuff.

It's usually the people who are more into like the cable stuff that want the streaming option.

Isn't Star Trek on DVD?

well this is new star trek this is all new content about star trek so this is the next generation this is a this is a whole new ball game with all new characters and you know done with a big budget and it's only on streaming it's always only available on streaming i'm sure it's going to be at some point they have to recoup some of that money they put into it

and release it somewhere else i would think they won't let you say alien you have to say potential earth citizen now

i never got into star trek that sucks it's so boring

Not enough aliens.

Just a bunch of old motherfuckers just talking about Confederations and

beaming up and down and

I did see the first few

movies of the last 10 years, and I thought those were pretty well done for someone who doesn't know everything about the world.

Well, they were a lot

more gussied up with action

than the normal Star Treks were.

There was intrigue and

there was battles and conflict.

There was something going on.

Yeah, where the original Star Trek had none of that.

It was just like...

They were just on the

deck, right?

Tommy.

On the deck and

posturing, but never actually doing anything about any of the problems.

All right.

Well, that's it, Jiggy.

That's Jiggy's thoughts on streamed.

Comedy?

I came up with some solutions in there.

Jiggy will be in London.

Will you go to Ibiza?

Ibiza?

I know you're a hip party guy.

I'm actually not.

I have no interest in going to Ibiza.

What's Ibiza?

That's like where all the beautiful people go.

Like an island where everybody's half naked and shit and they're young, like Jiggy.

Or actually, probably younger.

I don't really have any interest in that.

No?

No.

Take off your shirt, get oiled up by Rico or something.

I'm more of a bar pub type guy.

Yeah.

Yeah, bar pub.

I'm a happy guy.

I don't like clubs.

I don't like nightclubs.

No, no dink to like fist pumping music.

No?

No, not for me.

Techno?

Nothing.

No, I need a strips.

I need a lyric.

I like,

yeah, I like lyrics.

What's your favorite genre music?

Early 90s RB.

Okay, good.

And I need to know.

I'm like boys to men and stuff.

Okay.

Well, more up-tempo stuff.

Like New Jack Swing, to be more specific.

That's like, you know, late 80s, new edition, Bobby Brown.

I can play it.

I can give you a whole list.

New Jack Swing is a great idea.

I'm going to ask for that list because we're doing the

purveyors, posers, and playlists.

The hardest show name to remember.

And we're going to be doing a tournament, and I would love for you to be involved.

Yeah.

Well, that would probably be my sweet spot.

It would be RB in general, but then more specifically, New Jack Swing.

All right.

So if I was to be like the greatest RB songs ever, three, give me your top three,

you could do it in a heartbeat.

Yes.

Okay.

All right.

That'll be the one.

I would want to think about it because I want to come up with some like some bangers.

Okay, awesome.

But yeah, you're in now.

I'll do that.

Yep.

Okay.

Ultimate purveyor.

Yeah.

Thanks for having me on, guys.

Always good to come back.

Yeah, Jiggy, nice to have you.

Sorry that position hasn't totally opened up full-time yet.

It's okay.

And yeah, jiggycomedy.com for the London show,

August 24th in London.

Go hang out with Jiggy.

Buy him a comic.

Go ask for your movie, too, right?

And you'll send them a link to your video.

And if you're up on social media, I will send you a private link to the movie.

You can check it out.

And you're in luck.

I understand rabies has been totally eradicated from England, so you're not going to have any problems.

I'll be wary of any St.

Bernards walking around.

You don't have to.

Not there.

I'm having kids around.

It's been eradicated.

No rabies.

Tell them something.

None.

Dave.

Tell them.

I don't know.

I thought that's what you're doing.

I thought you gave me the hand signal.