#415: American Dadz

Tell him Steve Dave.

Hello and welcome to this week's edition of Tell him Steve Dave.

To my left, BQ, to his left, Walt Vannegan, and to his left, Sunday, Jeff, and to his left, mebra.

All right, boys.

Walt, you're very energized.

I can see you're ready to rock.

How you feeling?

I'm feeling really good.

Man?

My heels and feeling nice.

You know, so I'm ready to rock this week.

High energy.

High energy.

Let's go.

He's not selling it, is he?

Is he Q?

There is a light light in his eyes.

Yeah.

I see it.

It wasn't there for the first couple weeks, right?

It's all like because Sunday was.

Yeah, it's the same light.

You think it's Sunday, Jeff brings it to him?

Yeah.

Right out of the gate.

What do we got going on here?

Q,

you had to address this same person on Twitter one time.

It was a 13%er.

Yeah.

Tried and true.

She's great.

But, God, she says shit sometimes.

Who?

She was the one who favorited your, or brought up your favorited tweet.

Oh, I thought we came to the conclusion that I was wrong on that one.

Did we?

I thought.

Yeah, I thought I was wrong about that.

No conversation just between me and you ends up with one of us being wrong.

Yeah, I know.

I have to start accepting that I'm wrong.

How does that work out?

How do you handle something like that?

Being wrong?

Yeah, like I just get up in the morning and I'm wrong.

But this is a tweet the other day, sort of just out of nowhere.

Not to me, not to us.

It says, having men tell me to smile

when I wait on on them is beginning to enrage me more and more no i don't want to smile for your old danny devito looking ass whoa fuck out of here what's wrong with danny devito

i don't well my point and i i tweeted back i said but i bet you if it were danny devito then it would be okay oh it'd be smiles it would be nothing but smiles and what look on the surface

Telling somebody to smile.

Okay.

Now, if all these people are telling you to smile,

maybe it's because your attitude sucks at work, right?

Maybe it's because you're in a service industry and your only job is not to bring the food.

Your job is to create a pleasant atmosphere.

What is this, 1950?

Yeah, it is.

You go to a restaurant.

You want somebody being like an asshole, waiter, a waitress?

No, no, no, I don't.

Do you need a unique ear-to-ear grin?

I don't.

What do you need?

What do I need?

I need the food.

Yep.

And I need general pleasantry.

Very basic general pleasantry.

If only we had someone at work.

I know,

we heard from you.

You went to Friendly's, you sat there two hours waiting for two bumbling idiots to bring you a fucking soda.

I don't give a fuck if it was, I don't care if it was their first minute.

It was training.

Even their first minute.

Everybody has to learn on the job,

except you.

You are perfect right out of the gate.

Out of the gate, Q and I, we were just talking about how we're never wrong.

Right.

Right.

In those situations,

I would like to ask, we have an expert here.

We do, Phoenix from Surf Taco.

One of the OG, people would say.

I saw her today

and I hadn't seen you in so long.

I just miss you.

I thought you had left and never said goodbye.

I would never do that.

Okay.

She was on Gaffa and Order not too long ago.

Oh, Genati, really?

Mm-hmm.

You were on Gaffawan Order.

Remember that?

What's your

help crack the case?

What?

Yeah,

Troy, we did a thing where Troy interrogated her because

someone had taken a crap in front of the Taco Bell down the street.

We assumed that Taco Bell.

And we thought that she was a suspect.

Why would she be involved in that?

I mean, the Taco Bell.

Okay.

So just earlier, you were telling us that people are mean to you.

Yeah, there's a certain amount of people that'll come in and are mean.

Oh, yeah.

I didn't even notice the TV was still on.

People are mean to you, and

Walt, you say, it's getting easier to be mean to people.

No, no, not for me.

I mean, it's getting easier.

I think we're seeing a decline in

how people respect each other in real life because

we are so disrespectful of each other online.

I just think it's bleeding over into real life now.

And

it's becoming just

disrespectful constantly.

And it's just this has become the norm rather than the aberration uh

i saw a tweet the other day not from you of course but some character named sunday jeff

where

it seemed like somebody had some online hostility i gotta say

you were upset sunday jeff

somebody was complaining to you about something and you were like uh sending an email and i don't care or something hold on a second

the guy called me the r-word what's the r-word in this day and age called me the r-word and then he called me an idiot.

The I-word?

And then he said, The only reason you guys keep me around is to make you and Brian look better.

Literally, every other person I talk to about the show says, We suck, and you're the best.

So, who is this person?

All I hear is that Brian and I suck, that we're not good anymore.

Okay, so this is what's happening.

I still hated it, though, because I felt who is that guy?

I don't want to be like that.

No, put me in touch with that guy.

I want to talk to that guy.

No, no, he's not.

He's all I have at this point.

What's this

Alan Brown.

His name is Albert.

Alan Brown.

He's my boy.

He called me the R-word.

He called me the R-word.

You could take it.

Yeah.

Well, can he take it?

Let's see.

Not Walt, but Sunday Jeff says it's been 400-plus episodes already, Alan, and you are still here.

At least threaten to say you won't ever listen again, so I can pretend to care.

I deleted it, though, because I felt bad.

I thought that was too harsh, too.

Too hard.

But it lives on.

it lives on how'd you get screen caps

waiting for me to tweet i have sunday jeff alerts on

boom throughout the house every time a sunday jeff tweet comes through

uh but you said that people are not mean to you in person here at the store um for the most part i would say no but i've been but in out in the wild out in the wild right where you know when i go out and about

you will see people just kind of be grumpy, if not out and out.

Irritable.

Well, right on the other side of the wall, Serve Taco, we're hearing that people are a little cranky this summer.

Yeah.

Could be the heat, right?

I think it's the heat.

It must have been that heat wave.

But I always try and be as nice as I can to everyone, so it's hard when you're being nice to everyone day in and day out.

Oh, yeah.

Like maybe be as nice as you can to them.

Oh my god, because you

like, what if you just have a bad day?

You can't come to work with a bad day when you work in the service industry.

And you've got to feel sometimes for those people.

Sometimes it's really been a bad day, and you may get them on not at their best.

Especially for you.

Just try a little understanding once in a while

for the people who work in the service industry.

For the girl who said the Danny DeVito line, she was having a bad day.

You just got to give her a picture.

It wasn't a bad day.

It says right here.

I mean, the way she phrases it is that she's tired of it.

I don't think it all happened in one day.

Yeah, but it was just a build-up of it.

And, you know,

it just caught up to her.

Do people tell you to smile?

No.

Because you're generally smiling.

I smile too much.

Are you smiling now?

Yeah, like you're always like, I don't know how long you've been working there, but

I feel like I've known you half my life.

Even though you're

all six years.

Right, and you're always pleasant.

You're always nice.

Like, I just don't understand people coming in and being like an asshole.

Well, a lot of times it's like over the phone so they can't see me.

And I'll try so hard to be nice to them and sometimes even.

I've never went into Surf Taco and saw anybody not be anything but super nice.

It's great that I've never gone into Surf Taco and ended it there, you lion psychic shit.

It's my favorite place.

It's my favorite restaurant in Red Bank.

It's surf taco.

I don't eat surf and turf.

Tacos.

Any of it really?

Yeah, so that's why I really don't go there all that often.

But when I have gone in there, though, it's been nothing but the most pleasant of atmospheres.

So I don't know.

Obviously, it's just some jerks out there.

I knew I had to quit Blockbuster video when

I think I was at like five years, about what you're you're hitting, and I was behind the counter working a blockbuster and there was a plane crash and like people died.

Like it was a legit like 747 went down.

And I remember thinking like, oh man, I hope some of my customers were on that plane so I don't have to deal with them anymore.

And then I do.

Do you have specific ones in mind?

That thought, oh yeah, that thought ran through my head and then I caught it and I was like, I got to get out of here.

I got to get out of here.

Like I can't.

You can't think that way.

That's all.

That's hateful shit.

That is some fucking, I mean, look, I'm not saying I wanted people people to die, but if they were going to die, could they just be the assholes that show up at 1201 banging on the door, insisting that they're on time?

As long as they weren't first class.

Yeah.

And I was fucking, I was like 19, man.

That was like too young to be.

That dark.

That dark.

Yeah.

I got out.

Yeah.

Justin.

Your 20s weren't dark at all.

See, that's something that me and Mike, not so much get them, but like we cherish the regulars.

Yeah.

There's There's not one that we wish would die in a fiery plane crash.

Some disappear from like.

What if you guys are being left a sweet collection in the deal, though?

Most of the people who are buying stuff here, we don't watch their collection.

We know what you're buying is junk.

Like, there's a customer.

We sell him live

that show up week after week, and then all of a sudden they disappear without a trace.

And there's like a little hole in me and Mike's heart.

We're like, well, he's going to be like, wonder what happened to that dude?

What happened to like, you know, tight pants?

Because we don't, you know, some guys who come in, we don't know their names or something but maybe they were wearing tight pants and that's it forever

just a hypothetical they what happened to big bulge

what happened to sweet ass

everything just to

fat bulge fat bulge hasn't been on just tight pants nothing to do with the bulge uh you do you drop nicknames on people do regulars aside from me and brian i love the regulars yeah i love the you don't have like playful nicknames for regulars you have to everybody does well ask them for their names

now do you feel bad you're in the presence of two like real-deal authentic Mexican guys right here.

And at all, culturally appropriate

all their cuisine.

Yeah, our cameramen are full-blooded Mexicans.

Cholos.

Is that right?

Yeah.

Yes.

What a home shooter.

So, how do you look at a chain like served taco?

Is that like,

well, for me, it's not really Mexican food.

It's

fighting words.

Boom.

It's It's like if it's something in the area and I just want to, and I don't really want to eat pizza or anything like that.

If there's something in the area and I don't want to eat pizza or anything, I'm like, oh, let me just go try out the tacos.

But if there's a Chipotle there, then I'll be like, you know what?

I'll try Chipotle instead.

Overserved taco?

Overser Taco.

You can't say that shit, man.

Wow.

Keep it real, baby.

Because, I mean, like, I was talking.

We ain't going to eat no served taco, man.

We make our own 30.

Charlie, don't serve.

It's just, I've never really liked it.

To be honest with you, I've never really liked served taco that much.

I've had it a couple of times.

Dude, you're going to get her in trouble.

We're trying to

be pimping this now.

You're going to cut all this out.

Just say you love served taco.

I have so much more respect for the Mexican people.

I was eating a taco last night.

It was homemade.

Sorry, I didn't come all the way to Redbank.

But I take one bite, the whole fucking thing crumbles and crushes.

My beard, it's on my shirt.

And I'm like, these Mexicans, they nailed everything with their cuisine except for this crunchy taco shit.

Well, they don't, crunchy is an American version, but I just learned today.

Yeah, and I was like, you nailed it 100%.

Yeah, the only downside of it is, I feel like sometimes if I go into an authentic Mexican restaurant and order, I feel like everything's just a variation of us all folded up

like a taco becomes a burrito once I fold it up and put shit on it.

Exactly.

Yeah, it's pretty much like in our restaurant, we have

you have a restaurant?

Yeah.

Oh, no wonder why you're trying to ride down service.

I'm trying to be in

But

everything really has a tortilla.

Everything you can pretty much modify it into everything to anything pretty much.

Like if you want, like taquitos, all you have to do is grab a tortilla, roll it up, fill it up with meat, roll it up, and fry it.

You know, if you want to make tacos, same tortilla that you're using for that, you know, for that item, you can make tacos with that.

Hard shells, same type of tortilla.

So enchiladas, same thing, same tortillas.

Just ingredients don't really change.

It's just the way that you can make it.

You're eating the same thing every meal, bro.

Victor, man, shout out your restaurant.

We shouted out Surf Taco enough.

Fair.

What's he shouting at?

What did it seem like?

Where is it at?

What's the name of it?

It's called Nuevo Amanacen.

It's in Franklin Park, New Jersey.

Not even in competition with it.

No, no.

Don't worry about that.

It's called All-American Taco Stand.

You said, you told me last time you were here, you said that you get some guys in there that give you a little shit, right?

Like for being Mexican?

Not being Mexican enough.

Not being Mexican enough.

So Mexican-ish.

Just Mexican-ish or too American-ish?

Phoenix, have you ever been accused of not being Mexican enough?

I'm white.

What is your background?

Like, what is your nationalities?

Polish, German, Russian, and Norwegian.

That is a very aggressive background you have right there.

German and Russian.

also Polish so they're probably gonna

they're probably gonna do something stupid right have you been the butt of many Polak jokes yes many oh they're awesome do you know how that started

Sunday Jeff not me no do you know how that started why why why the polak jokes got assigned to them no because in world war ii

um they had no defense because they didn't really have a standing army they weren't very strong but they fought on horses on horses the but but to me that's that was yeah that's brave bravery Like, they would go after, they would rush,

they would fight with what they had.

So instead of fucking rolling over and just taking what the Germans had to give, they fought with what they had.

And now they get polite jokes, and I'm just like,

it's a cruel world, man.

They should be.

Yeah, they should be hailed as

a whole hole in there.

A lot of statues of horses.

Yeah.

Have you been to pull those statues down?

Those horses were racist, I bet.

Could you imagine that, man?

I cannot.

They're defending the homeland with everything they got from rocks at the bottom the butt of

nationality jokes for the rest of history.

That's not right.

No, that's not right.

Do you guys feel that bad about Irish jokes, like Mick jokes?

I don't hear any.

Really?

I've never heard any Irish jokes.

They usually center around being drunk.

Yeah.

Yeah, but I don't drink, so

I don't ever take offense to it.

I would never take offense to it.

Like those Mexicans don't acknowledge you to, I think the Irish don't acknowledge you.

They're like, he's Irish-ish.

But then, okay, so this girl who's complaining about

the Danny DeVito guy.

Then somebody responds, and this says so fucking much, is that this other lady says,

well, wait a second.

I once had a man tell me to smile in an elevator leaving my OBGYN office after confirming a miscarriage.

All right, I think then you can be like, I don't really want to smile.

But then another lady was...

Well, I'd just be like, what the fuck?

Who are you?

Like, go away.

Well, you know what?

So, how many times has anybody ever said that to you?

A total stranger walked up to another dude and be like, hey, dude, smile.

This doesn't happen.

No.

I don't know that it happens to women that much as they're walking down the street.

I think in a situation like that, where maybe the guy's like, I don't know what else to say.

She's fucking mean-mugging.

She's got a sour puss on the whole time.

It's like, hey, smile.

Like, lighten up.

He's not telling you to literally smile.

Yeah, but why the fuck is it?

Why is his job?

He's a guy and he said it to him that it's not sexist.

Why is it his fucking job job to tell her to smile?

Because he's gay.

Fuck you.

Don't say anything.

We're in an elevator.

No, no, no, not the elevator.

We're talking about two different things.

That I agree with.

I agree with you on that.

We're not wrong.

Come over here.

Sympatico over here.

I don't ever want to be right anymore.

It's easier to be wrong.

No,

it's at the restaurant.

It's like, for that little window of time, you're on my dime.

And like she complains that, you know, she's like, oh, he's a cheap fuck.

He only gave a 10% tip.

But it's like, well, maybe if you were a little nicer, I'm telling you, I read somewhere that, like, if you're a waitress and you go up to the table and you touch a person's back like that, just slightly, you don't got to like

a tip, you get a bigger tip.

The reason you're there is to work for tips.

There's like the minimum wage for waitresses sucks.

Everybody knows that.

So if you want to make more money, you're nicer.

Or work at Dick's Last Resort where you can be an asshole.

You can go to Dick's where you can be an asshole to people.

How do you feel about this?

I don't know.

If someone told me to smile, I think I would be a little upset.

Even if it was that.

I apologize already.

Because it does happen.

Walking down the street?

No, but it happens to women

more often.

Way more.

I don't think it ever really happens to men.

Never happens to me, because I'm walking down the street, fucking ray of sunlight.

Letting the loafers pearly white leaving off the water.

No one can see your lips or your beard, though.

It's almost in a demeaning way.

Like, oh, why aren't you smiling?

It's like, oh, I don't need to be.

Why don't you make something up, like the miscarriage lady?

I'm not saying she made it up, but if you made up something like, I would smile, but, and then you just launch into this thing.

Something horrible and horrific.

Right.

When was the last time somebody told you to smile?

Excluding Q.

I'm just saying, cheer up.

I just like to hear from like other women, like their experiences.

Because I just like my reaction is just to smile, like even like nervously.

It was just like a reaction.

But you know what?

Now, on hindsight, thinking back, I heard you come in the back door today, and I heard you see and greet Giddam with,

What's wrong, Giddam?

I can see you're not happy.

So, you noted,

is everything all right?

Yeah, you kind of noticed that he wasn't smiling.

Yeah, he's my friend, though.

Did you know why he wasn't smiling?

Well, then I heard he was.

Did you know you were wrong to ask that question?

Well, I never said smile, but I was like, Is everything all right?

Then I heard he's rubbing a kidney stone through his body, like he's got

priming it through his, I heard he's working it through

massaging his

I pull into my parking lot.

Trying to break it up.

I pull into the parking lot.

He's on the phone.

And he's walking past my car.

And I see him like massaging his side, his midriff.

And I'm like,

I wonder what's going on.

I open the door and I'm like, hey, what's up?

And he's like, oh, I'm trying to pass a kidney stone.

And we're doing something tonight.

So I'm like, you're going to be able to do it tonight?

And he's like,

what if you don't pass it by?

Then he's like, I'm passing it right now.

Then Walt reminded me of his pain threshold at at an 8.5.

He's an 8.5 pain threshold.

Really?

Yeah.

Self-attributed 8.5.

Whose scale is it?

So he made up the scale and then placed himself on the scale?

I love him.

I love him.

It's the only scale he won't break.

He's the best.

He's the best.

But then the girl, somebody answers and goes on to say, like,

that people used to say that to her, and it would annoy her, unless they they were hot.

And that's the fucking distinction that these women make is like an old Danny DeVito-looking guy can't tell you to smile.

Yeah.

But if they're hot and they do the exact same thing,

then it's okay.

You think that only goes one way?

What do you mean?

What do you mean?

You don't think like a, like a, uh, uh, a,

a more attractive woman can get away with more just because she's attractive?

Probably.

But I'm saying, though, but why is that the distinction?

Like, because I don't meet your aesthetic standards.

It's been that way since we crawled out of the world.

I thought we were trying to get away from all this shit.

Where ugly motherfuckers like me can fucking walk side by side with good-looking motherfuckers like him.

Me?

We can both tell people to smile.

You've got to get equally mad.

You've got a 25-year-old girlfriend.

I think you should stop crying.

Yeah, maybe wrap that up.

All right, fine.

And I really think you've got to stop using me as the fucking lore of what's good looking And guys, I'm fucking 20 pounds overweight.

I'm old.

I think those days have passed.

I think we need a new

stickier than ever.

Look at Victor.

Look at that handsome.

Look at that Kringo.

He's all buff and shit.

He's got muscles.

Hey, what's up, little kid?

I got to go back to work.

Okay, well, everybody, went in, Red Bank.

Go to serve Taco.

Tip well.

Tell her to smile.

Don't tell Phoenix to smile.

Please don't do that.

It's good to see you again.

Too long.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Okay.

But

that's all just

that's nothing.

That's nothing compared to the real story, which is about Tom Brady.

Tom Brady.

A Tom Brady story?

This news?

Oh, yeah.

I'm on Tom's side in this one.

I don't know that I'm on Tom's side.

I'm always on Tom's side, but with a caveat.

Tom's wrong in this situation.

Tom's on this, I'll show you the video.

He jumped in the water, right?

You saw the video.

Yeah, we all saw it.

This were videotaping, we could show the video.

Okay, you're going to see the video right now.

And Tom, I don't think it's that far.

I don't think it's that big of a deal.

But when he jumps, when he jumps, that girl is not ready to jump, and he basically yanks her off.

And let's drop the cliff diving.

They jump.

They didn't dive.

Yeah, they jumped.

And more specifically, the little girl kind of fell.

Yeah.

She's fine.

She's fine.

But people are like, that he should get suspended.

They already tried to derail his career with a false accusation on saggy balls.

And now they just want to do anything to try to get him to not play a game so somebody else can fucking win a championship.

It's the only reason why.

It's a conspiracy.

Absolutely the most stupid and dangerous thing for a six-year-old child to do.

I disagree.

I think they're stupider more dangerous.

some users claim she didn't appear ready to jump well you know you're not there so you don't really know it didn't look like it it looked like he jumped and she's like i guess i'm jumping like you think tom brady is wants to put his daughter in danger or do you think he fucking excessed it he probably jumped three times he probably saw five other kids jumping yeah like

but like i said my caveat though yep much like kissing his son on her lips yep that was posting it were you disappointed he didn't kiss her on the way down like a quick peck before they hit the water water.

If I was in Tom Brady's circle,

if that's the only thing I ever wished for, that would be it, to get in that circle.

But I would be like, Tom.

Out of this circle.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Would you trade this circle for a hard time?

Tom was like, I want to start a podcast.

Yeah.

You know, the Brady report?

Yeah, the GOAT.

And I would be like, guys,

I got an opportunity.

I can't pass up on this.

I got to go to Boston and start this podcast with Tom Brady.

And Tom's like, oh, Walt, I'm so happy that you ditched those guys, and you're now on my podcast.

And I don't know if you know this.

I just got a sponsorship with Blimpy, so

it's catered, and I got you a sub.

And now, how are you not going to eat it?

It's Tom Brady.

I would be myself with Tom Brady.

I would tell Tom, I'd be like, you know, this is why you wanted me, Tom, is to be myself.

And I would be like, you know, I'm a super smeller and I can't eat a sub.

So let's get, let's, you know, let's not try to do this alpha dog shit.

You know why?

You know I don't eat subs if you wanted me here to begin with.

You knew that that to begin with well like you say yeah put him in his place right away i listened i listened to all the episodes and no that's not why i want you here because you dislike my subs it's because you suck my balls literally every episode

and i want more of that on here and it's going to start with you eating this sub

eat it don't fucking eat it but i would tell him i'd be like

much like the video that you got out there of you kissing your son i would have suppressed that and i would not post this.

You don't have to post it.

Oh, he posted the video?

Yeah, he posted the video.

It's not, in this day and age, you can't, you just can't, you don't want to hear the chatter

unless he's that much of a troll.

But

he might be the world's best troll then.

Well, isn't he that he's also a DL Trump guy, right?

He said that hat was in the

locker.

Didn't Trump give him a hat and he kept it in there?

Yeah, there, but he, yeah.

Was that a superstitious thing?

He's like, we're winning.

I don't want to take it out.

Everything could be a superstition to an athlete, though.

But yeah, I would have told him, like, you you don't need to post this let you could jump off clips all day long with your kids but don't post it

let's not do that let's not give the haters any more ammo yeah right have a private life yeah i i'm sure he has a has an what we don't see is probably crazy what he does but no you don't need to share that but it's just going to open you up to like unneeded criticism if you're tom brady and you see that criticism are you like go fuck yourself i'm tom brady i'm in costa rica there's my fucking sex mannequin wife over over there.

There's my kids.

He's puckering up for whatever reason.

I'm going to jump off this cliff with my daughter.

Yeah.

Like, fuck it all.

Like, I don't care what you think.

Yeah, there could be very much that aspect of it that he's like, I don't care.

He's like, he's untouchable.

He's not untouchable.

I mean, he's got the deflate gate on his, on his

resume, so I mean, he took a hit for that.

He got four game suspension for that.

Still won a Super Bowl, but still.

Even with the suspensions, yeah.

He's like, remember that time you guys got me suspended?

and then I won the Super Bowl anyway?

Ask me how much I give a fuck.

You don't let me jump off a cliff with my daughter.

Yeah, but I definitely, if I was in that inner circle, I'd be like, don't release this.

It's not necessary.

You know, just do something else cute.

That's what he needs.

A fucking mother hen around all the time, clucking like, oh, don't stop me.

It's too dangerous.

But you know what it reminded me of?

When I was younger, and

I had an image brought back to me that I suppressed with my father, where he did did something like that with me over high water.

Oh, yeah.

We went to a football game, a high school football game in Madawan.

And I don't like, we rarely did anything together.

We did, but almost nothing together.

And for some reason, Saturday afternoon.

Son, you want to cliff dive on the way home?

We went to this football game.

It's like 1974, 73.

And we.

She was like six or seven?

Yeah.

And we went to the football game to watch.

There was some star player there that he wanted to see, who was, I guess, going to be going to a big college.

And we walked back from the football game.

We took a route through the forest, through the woods.

And there came a point where the train tracks went over

a big body of water, which I thought was much bigger probably than it really was when I was young.

And it was high.

It was like 40, 50 feet in the air.

And if a train was coming and we were in the middle, we would have had to jump off.

What kind of hobo lifestyle are you leading that you're like, I wonder if we can make it across the train trestle, dad?

And I remember when he-

Stand by me?

Sticks and bindles.

And you know, when you walk through, like, there's like, like, you had to step onto each piece of wood in the tracks.

And if you missed, you would have fell through.

So I had to make sure that I could walk over and I didn't want to do it.

And he started to, like, you could do it.

You could do it.

You know, you're not a baby.

Let's do it.

You know, and he was doing that thing, like, kind of like pulling me across.

And I was getting really terrified.

And I I was getting hyperventilating.

But I made it across, though, and we got across.

I remember him saying, Don't tell your mother.

Don't tell your mother.

And cursing at me, being angry about it, and scaring me.

Wow.

Yeah.

It was a suppressed memory.

Yeah.

But you did it.

I did it, though.

So what's he angry about?

I guess he thought I was going to tell, because

I was getting really emotional as we were getting towards the end.

I was afraid a train was going to come and I was going to fall through.

Which is reasonable.

Yeah, by the way.

But

that was kind of like what Tom Brady did to his kid, right?

This is the only time you'll compare your dad to Tom Brady.

The only time.

Yeah.

Yeah.

That's it.

Just

bad discretion.

Yeah, no Tom Brady, no Mike Brady.

Yeah, I mean, if he had been like, hey, that's our little secret.

Don't tell your mom that, like, made it fun.

Yeah, no, I think he knew that I was going to, like, if he didn't scare me, I was probably going to tell, and she was going to freak the fuck out.

Yeah.

He was really irresponsible.

I don't tolerate rats.

You ever do anything dangerous with your uh with your dad?

Um,

no, nothing, not running over railroad tracks, that's the truth.

Um, it just took me into baseball games, football games, just the regular stuff, nothing really out of hand.

He didn't force you ever to like step outside your comfort zone, no, sink or swim, kind of.

He was a basketball.

My father was excellent.

Suplicified.

My father was excellent at basketball.

Excellent basketball player.

Yeah.

Excellent basketball player.

Could have went from

Well, he got a scholarship to go to a college.

Wow.

Wow.

Point guard?

No, I don't know.

I have no idea what position.

I never really followed any of the sports.

Well, I can't imagine it.

Was he possibly shorter than you?

No, I guess he would be, I guess, what's Guard?

The Guards was normally.

His name is Earl the Pearl Monroe.

And I grew up with my real dad.

I remember, and I never played basketball.

I could just see that white afro if your dad might have had back in the 70s.

White shadow.

That was me.

That's exactly what I looked like when I was playing Dollar Shape.

I never played basketball before, and my father was a coach.

He decided to coach.

Really?

So I figured, you know, what the hell?

Terrible.

That was not passed on to me.

Those genetics were not passed on to me as far as basketball.

But other things, like my father.

I can do a great owner FUD.

My father couldn't fix anything, though.

I mean, I had had the other stuff, like, I could draw and I could fix things.

My father couldn't.

I didn't know that you could fix things?

What do you fix?

Well,

he was a jet mechanic.

Oh,

you were trained for that, though.

Yeah, but no, I'm saying I always had that one.

You're mechanically inclined.

A gearhead.

Yeah,

both my grandfathers were also mechanically inclined.

But, you know, I didn't take that.

But my grandfather was also excellent at basketball.

Didn't pass on to me, though.

I sucked at basketball, man.

I was terrible.

I was terrible at all.

Don't you like, all I want to do is record something for Puck Nuts where Sunday Jeff is playing Ming one-on-one.

We're going to do that.

We are going to do that.

I might be better than that.

See on the Patreon people.

I might look like a Mario.

We're going to do a one-on-one Puck Nuts episode of Sunday Jeff.

Street Ball?

Yep.

Yeah, a little bit.

We play on an eight-foot rim so you guys can stunk on each other.

I'm going to give you a hand.

Goes old LeBron over me.

Daryl Dawkins.

White chocolate thunder.

There you go.

White chocolate.

Got a jersey made up?

Double zeros, baby.

That's it.

Two things leaped to mind with Edgar.

One was in the winter, like, remember on the back roads,

they weren't paved for a while.

Like, probably until we were in.

Shore drive.

Yeah, probably until Walt and I were like maybe 13 or

somewhere around like 40s.

These back roads in town, which was actually sort of a main road, weren't paved.

They were

just dirt roads.

So they would get the snow and ice, and they would freeze, so a lot of people didn't use them.

But Edgar would take his work truck, and we drive down there, and he would drive and hit the brake and hit the wheel, and we would like spin

nuts.

And it was really fun.

Same thing, though, like, don't tell your mother.

But the other

seatbuckled?

Probably not.

I mean, it was a 70s, so probably not.

I don't even know if his truck had seat belts.

I know, it was such a piece of shit.

And the other thing was, like, you remember in the back of Pam and Edgar's, there was a porch and then there was like an overhang that went over the porch.

Like if you walked out the back door.

So when I was probably like seven, Edgar was like, hey, come help me on the roof.

So I went up on the ladder and I was helping him on the roof.

And then

he was like, here, let's scare your mother.

And this has to be.

20, 25 feet in the air.

He took me by my ankles and he hung me upside down so that like he like he lowered me down so like my head appears my mom's sitting on the porch but i'm sitting on the porch and he's standing at the very edge lowering me down so i'm like hey my mother screams

he sounds like a fun wacky dude he's no he sounds like a crazy person like like if you like i am i don't know if i'm painting the picture well enough but it was it was imagine just hanging a young boy by his ankles upside down michael jackson did it he got in trouble the whole time i'm sure he's thinking like i could say it was an accident and everyone would believe me.

My eldest boy.

Yeah,

that was the other thing.

And then he never did it again because Pam freaked out.

But yeah, like in retrospect, like if when Sage were that age, not in a million years,

but I'd be like, I've got the best idea.

Anything for you, Q?

Anybody?

I had force you to outside a year.

No, no, nothing like that.

It's more like kissing girls.

That was fun.

It was more like

the danger came in a hands-off approach to,

like, I used to play on the train tracks, stuff like that.

And he would tell you not to?

No, he would say, no, not really.

Like, I would come home, we'd put like quarters of pennies on the tracks.

Did you know you were on the train?

Yeah, and

they would get squished, and I'd come home with them so they knew I was on the train tracks.

I never got it.

That's a different era.

Oh, yeah.

That's a different era.

Things like we would go for rides, you know,

on mopeds and stuff like that with no helmets and shit like that.

What was it that suddenly was it sudden or was it like the bike helmet thing?

I always thought that some lobbyist or some lawmaker was in cahoots with a bike helmet maker and took a payoff.

Because there's really like to be like everyone has to wear a bike helmet.

A sweeping, like your parents are you're not in charge anymore.

Now the government's in charge.

We're telling you you got to wear a helmet until you're like, do you even know the age?

14 or 16?

We never had to wear one when I was younger.

No, I was never around, dude.

Do whatever.

No, and nobody questioned it.

Nobody, like, I don't know anybody who falls.

I've got to look out and look at the repercussions now for you.

Well, I never had

all those horrible falls.

No, I didn't have many falls.

I did BMX too, man.

I never really thought that much.

That you did have to wear helmets for if you were doing the BMX races.

You did a BMX races?

Yep.

So you were like,

what's it?

X.

Yeah, I just went around to try.

I mean, I'm not like

medals?

No, I couldn't do it.

Third place.

Nice.

Yeah.

I mean, you can do like fishtails and shit, but it was mostly for fun.

It wasn't really.

Did you do a bunny hub?

Yeah, I used to be able to do it.

Was this like a race with neighborhood kids?

No, it's

English town's not.

Sanctioned?

Did you have the helmet and the whole suit and everything?

No, they gave you the number, like the number to put over your.

Could you pop a wheelie in your bike?

Yeah.

Could you do a Polish wheelie?

Thruster.

Yeah.

Yeah, that's the opposite.

I'd do it in the Prology Wheelie.

I got in a bad BMX accident, and I wasn't wearing a helmet.

Yeah, I just, I forgot about this until you just said it.

Wow, these things are coming back.

You're pulling it right out of there.

Yeah.

I was going down a hill and there was bushes, like overgrown weeds at the bottom of it.

And I went to tear through and there was a bench there that I couldn't see because of the weeds.

So at like full speed, my bike hits the bench.

I just, I must have went fucking five, six feet and just slammed and rolled and shit like that.

That turned out fine.

Here you are.

Fine.

Here you are.

And no lobbyist or lawmaker was like, put a helmet on that.

No, not even a parent.

Not even a parent.

Nobody cared.

Nobody cared.

The bike still worked.

Everybody was all right with it.

Put my eye back in.

Good to go.

Got all banged up.

I had something else I can't remember.

I don't know that it's necessarily better, though.

Better now?

I think if I, no, better than.

I think if I had kids, I'd probably appreciate the emphasis on safety.

You would feel like

I would walk along a fairly major highway, Highway 36.

I would walk to school from second grade on, sometimes by myself.

So seven years old.

But there was this guy, Henry, the crossing guard, who would like cross the highway, and then you would just walk up the highway.

It was like maybe half a mile at the most.

And you go to school, but

my parents constantly, like, it didn't even matter what the weather was.

You know, if it was snowy,

you would still walk sometimes.

But today, it's like so many, like everybody gets dropped off.

Yeah.

Like, if I try to drop Sage off to school, I don't let her take the bus, it's unbelievable how many people are dropping their kids off.

That was a rarity when we went to school.

Yeah, people rode their bikes, people walked.

Yeah, a lot of walkers.

Yeah, not any more, though.

And you wouldn't do it either, right?

Like, when the girls were like 13, you're not letting them just walk to school

too far.

Or even like ride bikes around.

Like, it just seems.

They just never did it.

They didn't want to do it.

They weren't active outside planet kids.

Never do anything dangerous with them.

The most dangerous thing I ever did with them probably would just go on like some

sketchy carnival rides you know

a neighborhood carnival that you know where the

bolts are falling out while you're going around you know it looked like it was about to press

all doped up see all the termites coming out of the wood you see those accidents a lot of video from like China and like Russia and those countries like there was one in India the other day it's like this this it's like a capsule on one of those arms so it like swings back and forth like a swing and it goes up and the arm snaps and it just goes

and then one of those ones where like the centrifugal force keeps you against the wall it's like a like a circle and it just spins so you stick against it that dislodged and flips over and like people are flying everywhere

and i i think of those videos like we brought sage to a fair uh a couple weeks ago the uh modern day fair st mary's or whatever st catharines and um

yeah and i'm looking at those rides and i'm like i don't know scary Because they're put together, taken apart how many times over and over again, and you get the inspectors, but still, shit goes wrong.

Yeah, there was one not too long ago, a year or two ago, where they had one of the rides.

People got hurt on a ride.

We talked very early on on Tellum Steve Dave about

the biggest slide in America, water slide.

Well, the kid broke his neck.

And we never really touched back upon it, but after that slide opened, a child was beheaded on that slide.

Oh, my God.

Yeah, wasn't he like a senator's son or some shit like that?

We were talking about how crazy it was that somebody could even build a slide this big.

Remember Action Park?

Yeah, but like 500.

Traction Park.

Oh my God.

I mean, it doesn't take,

it's not that far of a stretch to think that somebody was going to get hurt, though.

It was like, it was G4.

It seemed likely.

When I went to, just recently, when I went to Ohio with Mary Beth, we went to like this, it was like a local municipal pool, but they had like this, it was like a slide, like a water slide.

Not like one that went straight down, but it like curves around and Sage was going on it.

So I'm like, all right, I'll go on it too.

I got so banged up in the 10 seconds that I was on that slide.

I don't know if it's because I'm too heavy, but I'm like going side to side and my knees are hitting.

Like I get off.

I'm like, I don't want to do this anymore.

It sucks.

So I can only imagine that the biggest water slide, which I guess is the one in Kansas City.

Did they close down, yeah?

Oh, did they close it after that?

Oh, my God.

Are you kidding me?

A child's head was ripped off its parents.

But I mean, how much money was put into that?

I mean, a kid's head gets ripped off in a car accident.

You don't like stop car accidents.

Yeah, but

if a parent is going to let their child get back on that slide after they heard.

Sage, you like water slides, right?

I mean, you might as well just shut the whole park down.

There's not a chance on earth you could ever let a child roll.

And what would the be what kind of

head completely removed?

Yeah.

So the head just rolled down the slide into the pool?

I think it hit some sort of connecting net up there.

Yeah, there's a floor or something, I think, that they open up for you to shoot down.

God damn it.

There's a picture of it.

That's crazy.

It's like a roller coaster.

I wouldn't want it to do that.

I get nauseous.

Fuck water parks, man.

They smell like feet.

They're disgusting.

If they don't smell like feet, they smell like piss.

And

they're so big.

And

when you're going down, by the end, I'm like, I'm going to get sick.

I'm going to fucking puke right in the pool.

It's no fun.

They're not body sweet.

Or me.

They're bill-free kids who don't care about those things.

They don't care about how it smells.

They just know they're getting cold.

It's fun.

You lose your head.

It's when you become an adult and you lose the magic, the innocence of a child.

That's when you start to smell the urine.

Right.

Right.

That's when you become a human being.

That's when you start adding it.

You become a full human being and you're like, I'm not going to wait for other people's piss to have a good time.

Although, some people are into that.

We're not here to judge.

Really?

Yeah, this kid, it was 168 feet tall.

The Verup

German for insane.

It's nuts.

It's drops of roller coaster.

It looks fun.

It doesn't.

It looks like who

would want to do that?

I think he came off the mat or something.

He got elevated, and he shouldn't have been elevated at the point, and he hit, and it just.

Yeah, due to neck injury.

Did he get decapitated?

And he was.

It was a Kansas state legislature.

Oh, man.

Yeah, he was killed, died from a neck injury.

Yeah, it didn't say he got decapitated, but it did say he hurt his neck pretty badly.

He hurt his neck badly enough to die.

Dumb way to die.

Oh, yeah.

Yeah, you're like, this is going to be awesome.

And as a parent, you're like, all right, this will be awesome.

You think it's safe because

how else could it be operating if it wasn't safe?

But, I mean, people do die on other rides and they don't stop them.

Like, they don't dismantle them, you know?

People die of heart attacks and shit.

It just, yeah, but that just.

Thousands of times.

That's a design flaw.

Not a heart.

You know what I mean?

When my girls were, like, when like when they would go to Great Adventure with their friends, I guess, like, but when they, when my oldest one graduated, like, at that senior thing

i made her promise me that she wouldn't go on any of the crazy rides with her friends she promised you yeah do you think is she the type that you're like all right her word is bond or you're like i know i just i tried to like scare her straight i told her about all the better not tell your mother

all the horrible things that can happen to her just for a like a three-second ride even getting on and off the merry-go-round

there's no guarantee that you're going to make it a lot off a live no man that that amusement park i used to work at when i was a teenager, that merry-go-round never stopped.

Like, you just jumped on and off it.

People would get fucking eaten by it all the time.

You worked at an amusement park?

Yeah, there was an amusement park on Stan Island.

I've talked about this before.

Still there?

No.

Got torn down years ago.

It's condos now.

It's all condos.

I didn't know you worked.

How was that?

He was a carney.

We were just learning.

I was a carney.

Yeah, I've talked about it before.

I don't recall him talking about one.

I don't remember it either.

Sure,

I told two stories.

I told about how I used to resell the ride tickets at half price after I took them.

Okay.

Because the guy was an asshole.

This wasn't to your priest.

And then the other one was some kid fell off.

It was like just, it was like fake helicopters going around.

And a kid tried to get out and he fell and he got ran over, but he didn't get hurt.

He just got upset.

And he was 12 and his mother started breastfeeding him in the middle of the park.

And we were all like, what the fuck?

You were 12 years old, though, weren't you?

Just like totally like.

Oh, I was

like 17.

I was like 17, 18.

Oh, so you had seen a nipple?

Yeah, nipples weren't the problem.

The fact that she was a 12 year old teeth,

it was fucking.

Oh, wait, I'm glossing over.

How old was the child?

That's the kid was 12.

Oh, the kid was 12.

And she goes, I know this is weird, but it calms him down.

And I was like, what the?

I need to calm down.

Calm you down, too.

So is he breastfeeding or is he just sucking her tithe?

He was like suckling at her teeth for comfort.

Wait a minute, though.

How could she be producing milk?

She wasn't.

She was 12.

I'm telling you, though.

Like you said, he was just sucking her teeth.

He had nothing out of it.

He might not have been 12.

He might have been nine.

I mean, I would.

I'm going to take a backtrack.

That's a big difference.

Yeah, he could have been 12.

He was pretty damn old.

That's the thing, though.

He could have been 12.

He was no younger than 9.

He was a kid walking around.

What's the cutoff for you if you have children and breastfeeding?

What's the age?

Oh, never.

How long will you let them?

How long will you breastfeed them?

No, no, really.

You would let them go into their teens?

No, no.

I would never, I wouldn't breastfeed them.

Really?

Oh, you would be your aunt.

Those are for papa.

No, I mean, whatever the, if I was ever going to have kids, whatever the three?

Whatever the recommendation was, I don't know what it is.

Nine?

Twelve?

Twelve?

Yeah, I used to have to scrape the roller coaster at the start of every season and

repaint it.

Scrape it off the paint.

Scrape what off of it?

Oh, paint.

Through the paint and the

three men.

Vomit.

Yeah.

It was through the tunnel of love.

Scrape all the common show coasters.

I used that same excuse when, again, when I was in Ohio with Mary Beth, her parents walked in.

I was sucking her tit.

She was like, it calms him down.

He's in a constant rage, so you can can see

the beating here.

Yeah.

In Clerks the Cartoon, there's an episode where the Carneys come in, and Kevin is hardly exaggerating, even in animation,

these guys who were like track marks up and down their arms with the heroin in shape.

Oh, really?

Oh my God, yeah, they're all out of it.

They were super obsessed with these little frozen burgers.

Like, we couldn't even keep them in stock, these little like white castle-looking things.

But those are the guys that are putting the ride together.

I don't know if this was any better.

When we would work on the rides, I was 17.

Oh, you really authorized, like,

panic to put the ride together?

No, no, they were permanent.

But if something went wrong, they need to be cleaned.

Yeah, they'd be like, this is maintenance.

You got to do maintenance.

Somebody got more cum on the roller coaster.

Why is there cum on the road?

Yeah, why is it on the tunnel of love, I would say, but not on the roller coaster.

It's only like a 30-second ride.

They just want to see how many rides will clean come off of.

Just running around jerking all the friends.

Yeah.

Do you miss those days?

Working at a carnival?

I don't miss.

I really didn't get along with the boss, so I don't miss it.

But I love the job I liked.

Like a lot of

summers on Staten Island, you know, all the

it was like hot hot moms and stuff would be coming in.

It was the 90s.

It was cool.

It was fun.

Kids all over their boobs.

Yeah, sometimes would i would work the ride we gotta shoot another the game we gotta shoot the gun into the frog's mouth

man

i got really pissed at the guy when i quit i took a hose and i ran it through the window is in his office and i turned it on and he left and i left he's a vengeful guy this q he's shitting on graves he's filling up offices with poses i was dating love this guy i was dating a girl i was working with and he hit on her that's why i quit how old was the boss was he a dating needle No, it was a weird, it was, he shouldn't have.

Oh, yeah.

And I remember being like, fuck this fucking guy.

So I quit.

And then that night, me and my buddy Jay came back and

we clipped the lock, went into the park, snaked the hose and turned it on.

Wow.

Couldn't do that today.

You'd be on video all over.

Well, I couldn't admit to it today.

Right, yeah.

Statue limitations, all right?

It's got to be.

I doubt he remembered.

He was so coked up all the time, that guy.

All kinds of stuff.

I want to, still want to.

I would like to travel with a carnival for like.

like a week.

Oh, wait, it wasn't the owner.

It was a manager.

Manager?

Yeah, I'm trying to remember this correctly.

Anyway, sorry.

Yeah, like a week I would like to travel with a carnival and just like watch the, like, talk to the people about their lives, where they came from.

Like, I think that'd be fucking fascinating, you know?

Because if you're a carnie and you're just like driving around without roots, putting rides together and shit.

You've got to have a story or two, right?

That's a reason you're doing that.

Sounds like a depressing story.

I know.

You got similarly obsessed with lot lizards for a while.

You wanted to do that book on lot lizards.

Hey,

there's a listener, Big Red Deb, and she's a trucker.

We met her in a Cullen's convention.

And remember we're talking to her about the CDs and stuff.

Tallywacker, big tallywhacker.

Big tallywhacker.

So she drives a truck and I talk to her about it.

I have to get some insurance, and then I can ride around with uh, she and her and her husband.

He's also a trucker, oh, yeah, yeah, stop at some lots, check out some lizards.

How, don't you think you're bored, though?

Don't you think you'd be like, All right, I mean,

for how long?

I mean, how many times, how many people do you want to

see at the lowest ebb possible?

I mean, I've yet to reach the number, so

we'll see.

Do you want to drop the world premiere video of uh i Buy Comics, the theme song?

Yeah.

Yeah, okay.

We dropped it in this episode.

I didn't realize we had that.

Yeah, we filmed it today.

Oh, Jesus.

And it's already ready to go.

The post is ready to go.

You don't have to pretend that you loved it.

I'm into it.

Let's play it.

Do you want to hear the

song at least?

Who did it?

Is it Courage My Love, please?

It's not Courage, My Love.

I went and searched, and I found

The Voice.

Only one man could pull this off.

That's why he's here tonight.

Sunday Jeff.

Yeah.

Oh, God.

Oh, amazing.

This theme song to I Buy Comics.

Okay.

So let's drop that video.

You couldn't even add Vicki Pezza in to make it tolerable.

For what?

It's not a rap song, maybe.

Oh, it's a rap?

This is all hard.

Hardcore.

No,

I thought with Q's involvement, he's like a 90s rap guy.

What we could do, though, is we could open up every episode that we do.

We could have a different artist do the theme song.

Are we going to ever want to replace Sunday Jeff, though?

I mean, that remains to be seen.

Let me hear this.

All right, you ready?

Johnson hardball for color fix.

Smell of pope in the air tonight.

Mr.

I'll buy what you're selling.

If what you're selling is comics.

Here,

the sweet of spinning rack.

Who needs bottle of merit

when I got standing jack?

Pop by popping comics.

Bye bye, Popeye comics.

Don't sit for a new issue of Batman Spoiler the murder more

And every last I don't care if I want a poor

scream

The new issues are within my sight Wednesday's the day of the week when I see heaven's light

Papa Papa Comics

Papa, Papa, Comics.

Damn, it's great.

You like it?

It's great.

So, what about that video, huh?

I mean, did you, did he

just become Rob Halford right in front of your eyes?

The leather and the lifestyle, I believe,

that is in the cover.

That's an inside baseball joke,

Batter up, you gotta know your Rob Halford.

You just did that joke.

I have to admit, I don't know that.

Yeah, he was

just put it this way.

He was almost as well Mike and Mink sing it.

Nobody knew what the metal god was actually.

Yeah.

He was a little.

That's really metal.

Yeah.

He dressed almost exactly like the village person motorcycle guy.

Nobody was like, I wonder if him too.

That's great, son.

Nice job, bud.

Thanks, bro.

That's a parody.

We could use that.

Yeah, right.

I thought we could use that, right?

And plus, it's going to be, the show's going to be on the Patreon.

It's kind of hidden.

Who's going to be able to find it?

I mean, this episode, you know, they can hear it, but I thought we did it underneath the timeframe that you can get away with using the song.

I think you're allowed to, as long as you're saying it's a parody, use it.

Oh, that's definitely a parody.

Yeah, done deal.

What if Halford's on Patreon, though?

They're calling me a poof.

People were saying there's nothing wrong with that.

Right.

We're accepting.

Yeah, I mean, if there was anything wrong with it, it, we wouldn't use a song, man.

That dude is fucking all metal.

And you know how you know that?

Because they kicked him out because they're like, you're a fairy.

And he's like, fuck you.

And now he's fucking back.

Because they're like, we didn't.

That's what I heard.

That's what I've read.

Several accounts where that, like, yeah, they discovered that he was into, he was gay.

And

they kind of like were like, what the fuck?

But how could you not know?

All those albums?

All those.

All the time you spent together?

All of it.

All of it.

You never see him bringing chick groupies back to the bus.

How could you not know?

And why the fuck would you care?

But yeah.

And then they went to the bottom.

I think it's more metal, too.

I think it's more metal to be into dick.

Talk about counterculture.

All right.

Well, you're.

Yeah.

What do you think Satan approves of more?

Well,

isn't that the punishment, though?

What?

When you get down to hell, though.

Only your ass is real in hell.

Yeah, all the dicks and stuff is a punishment, though.

Not if you're one of Satan's Saul's soldiers.

I'm a little confused here.

What do you mean?

Because

if Rob Helford goes to hell and he's like, wow, what a smorgasbord.

It's going to be vaginas then for him.

Right, sure.

It's going to be a veg.

Anyway, I've never seen any depictions of hell with

hot pussy, though.

Well,

the ones he conjures up in his mind, those are the only ones that exist.

I'm not sure that it's just mass rape either.

I'm just saying it's like could be something else.

I do recall when I was young, and we went to church all the time, like every Sunday, not all the time, but every Sunday and

Pam saying, like, if you go to hell, it's whatever you hate the most.

So you got to think of like, whatever would you really not want to do for the rest of your life, and that's what's going to happen forever.

I think a lot of people

think that, not just Pam.

Yeah.

A lot of people think it's the worst thing that you can think of.

The thing you hate the most is going to be your eternity of that.

So not hot pussy, unless you're Rob Helford.

Unless you're not into hot pussy, then

it'll be

the exact opposite of what you're into.

Then, let's put it this way: Q, when you and I go to hell, which we definitely are,

get ready to suck some cock.

I thought he'd be working a blockbuster again.

Tell him, Steve David.