#412: Fancy Pants

I can't do anything anyway, I'm engaged.

I don't want that going on where I'm eating.

Mike gives him awesome hand drop.

He does.

It was like amazing.

Tell them, Steve, Dave.

Hello, and welcome to this week's edition of Tell'em Steve Dave.

Hot cue off of Father's Day.

Yeah!

The real,

is it a Hallmark holiday?

Just like Mother's Day or Valentine's Day

or to a lesser extent Veterans Day?

Veterans Day is a hallmark holiday, Brian Johnson quote.

Yeah, I think it is.

I think it is.

Sometimes offensive though, to me, for some reason.

Do you love it, Walt?

Usually you got treated this.

Those are the two days a year, your birthday and Father's Day, where they're like...

I wish we could get two Father's Day in a year,

like make it in the

one in the winter.

All right,

that's what I would push for if I was in charge.

I feel like that's an issue a lot of people would embrace: that like straight guys don't have enough attention heaped on them, and

they want a day, they want two days of their own.

Why can't

gay guys could be fathers?

They can be, but I'm saying, like, by and large, your dads are like

everything is straight.

You know what I mean?

So anytime a bunch of straight dudes,

they couldn't even have a straight pride parade.

Everybody got all upset about it.

That was so lame.

Why would they do that?

For the exact reason that I would be like, you know what, we should do

it.

You're just sea lining.

Yeah.

Yeah, you don't give a shit, but you're like, it'll be funny.

It just comes and goes too fast, though.

Yeah.

Father's Day.

Yeah, then it's over.

Well, you sleep in.

Well, yeah.

So the day's half over by the time you get in.

But

yeah,

it's just, like I i said man you just wish it could there was two of them what did you what did you do like what was

what'd you get um

i got a couple shirts

i got a hat

devil's hat i got um i got a nice painting for my daughter of cooper i saw that online yeah i saw that too oh yeah yes i didn't realize she was that talented like that's unbelievable she's got some art skills yeah and i don't know what you think's been doing all the blue juice shit for years

That would be great.

I'm guessing she would like to go into the art field for

a job, but that's a very competitive field, though.

Is it difficult for you to be like, look, you'll never make it as a professional artist?

I mean, almost everyone you know is in the field.

Yeah.

Like who?

Who else do I know?

Arts?

Oh, you count like.

We're artists, bro.

Yeah.

Podcast artists.

If it wasn't for being a podcast artist, I'd probably be a sandwich artist.

Hey, I wouldn't underestimate that.

Sandwich artists is very important.

Yeah, did you see that video not too long ago?

I guess it was taken at a subway where some subway worker has like her outfit on and she's getting banged.

And then the guy comes on her boobs and she's like rubbing it all into her boobs and she's not wearing gloves.

This is a commercial for somebody?

Not a commercial so much.

I think they're trying to get back to any sort of jarring.

Yeah, they're like, any kind of straight, like adult sex is okay.

So it was a porn?

I made it was like an amateur porn, I guess.

It was just like they went to like a break room or something.

You know?

I don't want that going on where I'm eating.

Do you eat the subway, though?

I don't.

No, not really.

It's been a long time.

Yeah, like in a pinch, I go to a subway.

Yeah, but there are, yeah.

I mean, I've certainly shilled for Subway.

Yeah.

Talked about how great their footlongs are.

But I'll do that anytime somebody throws me money.

Rubs come on your boobs.

Hey, man.

I'll even provide the cum if they give me enough money.

You know, jerk off all over yourself.

It's hard out there.

So, and then did you go out to eat?

Yeah, I went to Friendlies.

Wow.

My choice.

Something.

Hats and shirts and friendlies.

What a time.

Q.

What a time.

And that's what you twice a year.

Do you think you could handle that?

Oh, yeah.

The simple joys of fatherhood.

Yeah, it was just, it is.

It's simple, but it's like it's

so good good that you

can't believe when it's over.

Like you, everyone's in bed and you're like, oh my god, it's fucking over.

And then tomorrow's going to be just like.

Do you keep them going till midnight, even if they have school the next day?

You're like, no, no, no, no, no, no.

No.

I mean, like everybody's bedtime.

That was a Sunday.

Yeah.

So by like nine o'clock, it was officially over and it was just me and the dogs.

And, you know, as much as I love.

You had all your shirts on and your hat.

Get away from me, Cooper.

I'm trying to look at a painting of you.

You were away though, right?

I was at a con, yeah.

I didn't know it was Father's Day until like the day before.

A con.

And then that I wouldn't be there.

And I was like, she kid really has no concept of Father's Day.

So it doesn't matter to her.

But

I got Mary Beth made me this thing.

It's like all these pictures that have been taken over the past year.

She did the same thing last year.

She like puts, I guess,

Shutterfly.

You can like design a book to put a bunch of pictures in.

So it's basically a hardcover.

Yeah, yeah.

So it was like all the pictures from this past year, and the one the year before is the pictures from the year before that.

That's nice.

It's traditional.

I walked around shirtless all day, though, I gotta say that.

She didn't give me any fucking shirts.

Yeah, I went to the con, Washington Con.

There were several things about it that were pretty good, and a couple things that not so good.

Tried to get Ming beaten up by Carl Weathers.

I was texting Q, giving him a play-by-play as it unfolded.

Because we were kind of near Carl Weathers who was at the con.

Carl Weathers, for those who don't know, was in Apollo Creed.

He was a predator.

Wow, action.

That was his arrested development.

That was his shot to be a legitimate, you know, like solo.

Yeah.

Not a supporting star, but like, you know.

How do you like your ribs?

Then he hit the flamethrower.

Didn't happen, though, huh?

He was also a predator.

That's true.

Yeah, but again, he wasn't Arnold.

No.

So that Action Jackson was the shot that was like this, Brian Bosworth.

That was Bosworth's

one shot, too.

Oh,

Colt.

I remember the cover of that video.

Yeah.

He was a football player, Bosworth, right?

He was a football player, yeah.

Who is he today?

The boss.

Yeah.

Let me look that up.

So what happened with Weathers, though?

So Carl Weathers is in the type of shape that you're like holy shit like carl weathers could definitely kick my ass with zero problem like i thought he was like in his 70s or something

once people tip i don't know i don't know let me i'll look it up real fast can you also look out how old carl weathers is yeah brian bosworth's only 54 there's still time for a comeback Oh, he doesn't look like the boss anymore, though.

He doesn't have that haircut?

Well, also, like, he lost all his muscle mass.

It was all probably

Royd's.

He's 71.

Carl Weathers is 71.

What's good, huh?

Jesus Christ.

The dude, like, he strides with confidence.

Like, you wouldn't fuck with him.

And he has, like, athletic pants on, too, like, so he looks in shape.

What are athletic pants?

Like, you know, like those pants.

Like, they're almost like skinny jeans, where they're like tighter on the thighs and then they sort of taper down.

Like, I guess like runners are muscle thighs, though.

No, he wasn't like...

No, it was the cut of the pants.

I could tell it's the cut of the pants.

You can't tell the cut difference between like.

I've never even heard anybody in the online.

You know, like, like, um, like a Grandma I go, he's got athletic pants on.

No, come on.

I don't know, what are they called then?

They look like, no, they weren't jeans.

They were like, they were made out of like sweatsuit shit, but they're like,

but like, the way they're cut, though, is like, yeah, but not track pants.

They're like very tight to like his lower leg and like looser.

Yeah, he may, who knows?

What I do know is that I wanted to see him attack Ming.

So

Carl Weathers leaves his booth, and we're still there, like me and Mike and Ming are at our booth, and we're like pretty close to him.

So I write a little note, and it says, Carl Weathers ain't shit, and I signed Ming's name to it, and then I went and I put it on his table.

Now, you think he has any recognition of Ming?

No.

No, I don't think that.

So he would have to ask, or alternately, I waited until Carl Weathers went back to his table and saw the note.

And then, when Ming came back to the table, I said, hey, man, me and Mike met Carl Weathers.

He wants to meet you, too.

You should go over there, hoping that he'd be like, hey, I'm Ming Chen.

And then Carl Weathers would be like, aha, you know.

So you think

I ain't shit?

Do you think Carl Weathers is that much of a loose cannon that he's going to physically beat up somebody for leaving a stupid note on his table?

He met, I would, if I were in the shape of Carl Weathers, that's all I do.

I couldn't do it anymore.

Well, I was hoping he would at least be like, why'd you write this note?

And then ming would be caught you know i was recording it and but then it turned out that his handler i guess saw the note first oh and then got it and put it to the side and i was

like god damn it yeah like what business is it of yours you have guys have handlers

we have uh

usually yeah we have so why don't you get your handler to go over and take that note from car weather's handler so well carl weather's handler is like his assistant our handlers are volunteers who are like, we're forced to be here with you because all the good celebrities were already taken.

If you're a volunteer and you see that list, you're like, I wonder which celebrity I'm going to get to help this weekend.

Not Ming Chen, not Ming Chen, not Ming Chen, not Ming Chen, not Ming Chen, not.

God damn it.

Ming Chen.

Ming did have his own handler.

Me and Mike had to share one or volunteer or whatever.

Oh, my God.

How do you always have to share one?

How do you

face the public when you got a share.

You're too.

There wasn't any public to face.

Nobody was in any of our lines, so it didn't matter.

Honestly, I didn't even think about it.

I didn't think once about it.

But the way they set up the tables, it was weird.

We had so much room, like way more room than we would ever need.

And they went to the trouble of putting tape on the floor

so that if the lines were winding and shit.

It probably took longer to lay out that tape, all that tape diagram on the floor.

Than the sum total of our lines over the weekend to get through.

Because it's got to be laid out just perfectly, measured just right.

Yeah.

It looked good.

It didn't look like they just slapped it down.

They're like, look, we don't need these guys getting stampeded, okay?

It's going to be a shit show.

Well, then why do we got somebody with one person with Mike and Brian?

Who did that?

You know what?

Fire them.

We need five more back there.

Saturday was pretty decent.

I had to lean on people to help me sell some shit.

Here I am, Walt.

This is all my

few precious hours I have off.

Oh, you went to the con?

No, no, no.

I was home.

I was in my castle.

My toy goes off.

And I'm like, oh, it's my good friend.

It's Brian Johnson.

I'm always happy to...

To hear from Brian Johnson.

So I open it up and it's like, hey, man, would you mind FaceTiming me?

Because a fan wants to say hi and they promised they'd buy a picture if I can FaceTime you.

These pictures of me

as a pinball twins and then you.

And he was because when

he first came on, I'm like, I can't even tell if it's him.

It's so dark.

I was like in a dark room napping.

And I'm like, I don't know if this is going to be good enough for these people.

We can kind of see.

People charge full prices.

I got out of

my slumber and turned on the lights.

He popped the light on, then you could see him, and his hair was musty.

He didn't look at his best, but these guys were just happy to see him.

And the happy end of the story is I made $20.

It's worse than cameo.

I'm not even getting paid for it.

No,

I wouldn't do it.

I wouldn't do it to you.

I wouldn't do it.

Oh, well, you know, I wouldn't call you

and ask you to do something like that.

Brian Johnson can do that to you.

You could do that.

I don't know.

You said that, I think, in the wrong situation.

No, there's not even

situation.

You could do that.

Well, all right, we'll put that to the test maybe one day.

Yeah.

Because I'll come, my God, I'm inundated with people coming into the stash being like, I want to see Q.

Right.

So, how many times can I do it in a day?

Well,

he's done it once.

And you just have to put time on

a dedicated FaceTime phone.

I think you can get away once a month.

Really?

Yeah, I think so.

All right, we might want to cut that out.

I'm going to be

no?

I'll be like, nah, I'd rather you didn't do it.

I don't want people to come in here and ask you for that.

Right.

I don't want that either, but it's right.

Turns out nobody cares what I want.

I'm getting it.

I can only imagine what it's like for you, like the requests and the

please, please, please.

Yeah.

Need, need, need.

That's a daily.

That's a daily.

I mean, that's the price of fame and fortune.

And you know, I was paying a price, too.

This is why Q owed me.

Because

Ming puts on one picture of Q on the table.

Remember those ones he got made for Cullen's con?

It's like a cheesecake handsome photo of Q, like all black and archy, and he's looking all fuckable and shit, like staring at the camera.

So Ming puts it up there, and so many people are like, Why is this up here?

And I'm like, I don't know.

Ask Ming.

Just a picture of me.

It's one single photo of you.

That's just inviting the questions.

Is he coming later?

Is he going to be here?

Yeah, you don't got to tell me.

But one photo?

Not a stack, no, just one.

For sale?

It didn't sell because it's not signed or anything.

Almost wrote Q on it.

Oh, yeah.

Well, it's so weird.

I thought it was weird, too.

Well, he said he has a whole bunch of them.

They're eating the red for that photo, though.

Yeah.

He's like, I got to eat.

He's got to make that money back.

You got to make my nut.

I mean, if Ming wanted me, because I do it for Tiffany Shepas.

He has these photos of me and her from

Victor Crowley.

Like, I've signed them for her, for her table.

Just be like, go for it.

She's Tiffany Shepas.

He's Ming.

Yeah, I would do it for Ming.

Let's see if we can get that one photo that's been kicking around.

Yeah.

Dog-eared and shit.

Yeah.

Con the con.

He invested the proceeds of the last five cons into Q pictures.

He's like, I'm swimming and I don't know what to do.

I would be happy to do that.

To me, because I saw Ming earlier today, I asked him how the con went.

I never get

that kind of play-by-play on how,

you know, it's not the greatest.

It's like, it's always fucking fantastic.

Does he ever show

any

wavering of like, this is the best fucking moment of my entire life right now.

Not that I can say better than this.

Not that I can say no.

Like we went out.

He saves that when he gets home at night.

Yeah,

yeah, right.

He's like, it could be better, I guess.

Could be a lot better.

He's got a perfect wife and family.

You paint a picture.

So do you guys want me to sign a picture for you?

You paint a picture that's not glamorous.

No, it's not glamorous.

Like, I mean, if that's his idea of glamour.

Well, not that he, but he just

having fun.

Yeah, he loves it.

I mean, but here's it.

Like, this is what I don't understand about Ming.

Like, any whiff of estrogen throws him into a fucking tizzy, right?

So

he never hangs out with us when we go to a con.

Like, me and Mike and O'Halloran and Marilyn and a bunch of aunts met up and went and got some drinks and dinner and shit.

And they're like, where's Ming?

Where's Ming?

And I'm like, he's not going to come.

He's with these three girls, like these voiceover girls.

And I'm like, he's.

In my mind, I'm like, I don't know why, like, I don't know what's so fun about that because you know they're not going to fuck you.

Like, you know it.

And half the reason, no, you know what?

90% of the reason if you're going to go out with girls is to bang them.

Otherwise, why the fuck would you hang out?

90?

I'm trying to be woke here and not say 100%,

right?

I don't want to catch a bunch of shit.

I like that.

I'm trying hard.

But I'm just like, yeah, like where, one time Mike and I, we went to the movies.

We went to see like the Conjuring 2.

And we look at Ming's Instagram and he's like with a couple other people and they're like, they're at Walmart and they have bike helmets on and football helmets and they're like acting wacky and shit.

That's who's having fun though.

That sounds like more fun.

But in movies.

I don't think so.

Mike gives an awesome hand drop.

He does.

He does.

It was like amazing.

Really?

I know there's no way you think that's fun.

I don't think that's that's fun, but I know that 99% of the population considers that movie.

I do find that appealing, right?

Yeah, I don't get the hijinksy type shit.

But nobody, like,

if I'm like, hey, Q, do you want to sit at home and fucking watch Pet Cemetery or do you want to go to Walmart and put on bike helmets?

I feel like I'd know your answer.

But Ming, you definitely know his answer.

And it's like, I want to go put on bike helmets and not hang out with you guys.

Ride around on tricycles in Walmart.

Yeah,

always with girls.

Always, Always with good-looking women.

You know?

What's the payoff, though?

That's what I always wonder.

What's the payoff?

Memories.

Of what, though?

Memories.

Yeah.

Yeah, I mean, he's got like, he's got so many vivid, great memories.

Of not getting pussy, yes.

Didn't he have enough before this?

He had all the high school and college.

He never spends his moments grousing, though.

No, he doesn't.

He is happy.

He doesn't.

He is very happy.

He figured it out, man.

He's unlocked the keys.

Do you think there's any chance?

I know we probably can't air this part, but do you think there's any chance he has or will of a cheat on Debbie?

He's either the worst deal closer on earth or just no.

Because I never see it.

Like, I've hung out with him several times, and he's been, like, wasted.

And he never pushes it.

I mean, he definitely has something where he needs to touch every female he sees.

Like, if they come to him.

That's going to serve him one.

He does this thing where he's like, ha ha, like, he'll just hit their back.

It's like, hey, pal.

And he looks away, too.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah, I've seen it.

He looks down at the ground and he does it like he's like this like.

Yeah, he's like, you're not going anywhere, Tad.

But you know what?

It's like an OCD thing.

No.

No.

I like that.

Yeah,

I think he just likes hanging out.

Maybe it makes him feel important because he's with a good-looking women or something.

Who knows?

Some of us are also, there's a dynamic when he's with that he doesn't really want to play into, I think, when he's going to an amp meetup.

Nobody called me gay once.

Yeah.

Not once.

Like, you know, a lot of listeners think that they can talk to him the way you do.

Oh, yeah, I know.

Trust me, Mike's told me on more than one occasion.

So I don't think that's a problem.

Oh, what a lot in life.

He's like, so I could hang out with a bunch of hot women or really roll the dice on not if, but how many times someone's going to be like, Why aren't you sucking Mike's cock right now?

Yeah, when they reframe it like that,

I'd be a target too.

Well, he could just hide in his room.

He doesn't need to go out with all these ladies.

But see, he did the same thing to us in New Orleans.

Oh, yeah.

Like, he just disappeared.

Disappeared, ditched dust, doesn't answer.

He tapped that fucking maniac.

Then he shows up with a girl and her uncle.

And you're like, oh, wow, somebody's uncle.

Let me talk to him.

Oh, that was so horrible.

And the panel went real well.

Standing room only.

Comic bookmen panel.

Comic bookmen panel.

And

we had SRO.

We had moderators.

SRO.

Is that what they say?

Yeah, I get it.

But is that what they?

Oh, I didn't know that was like a thing, SRO.

Oh, they weren't announcing that, like, out in the hallways?

No.

And people weren't like fucking...

Stepping on people's heads to get in?

Like the Who and shit.

Just like people got trampled.

That would be amazing.

Just one person.

Yeah, right.

Just one person.

No, no.

If somebody could just have a bad concussion trying to get in, it'd be nice.

Yeah, like

an EMT has to check them out.

Yeah, like a cracked skull.

It would probably be you.

You unlocked.

Yeah,

I fall off the side of the stage.

Maybe.

But the panel went really well, except they give us moderators.

And I usually, I'm like, I don't want a moderator.

Like, unless we know them, like, we're personal, like, friends with them.

And these are nice guys.

Who are they?

What's that?

Who were them?

The moderators are from a podcast called Comic Dads.

I guess

they're dads and they talk about comic books and shit.

We did something with them last year.

And this year, they're moderating our panel.

But they all do the same thing where they ask these questions, and I have no choice because it's a reflection on me where I'm like, this is so boring.

Dude, they asked a shared universe question that was so involved

and then went on to ask a second one.

And that's where I had to step in.

I go, you guys got to be fucking kidding me.

I was like,

you're shilling for them.

There's no fucking way.

There's no way in 45 minutes, you're like, we'll have enough time for all this, including multiple questions about shared universe shit.

I was like, they're asking about like, what podcast applications do you use to podcast?

I'm like, this isn't a fucking podcasting panel.

And I told him, I was like, dude, nobody gives a shit about that.

I was like, they want to hear about other stuff.

I was like, or or at least ask questions.

One person did who asked the question.

No, nobody.

No, the person who asked the question was the moderator on the panel.

And that's why I had to spank him in front of everyone.

You don't want to do it.

I don't want to have to do it, but I got to do it.

Because the alternative is like, everyone's going to be bored.

Like, you're assuming everyone out here cares about a podcasting out.

The problem can go fucking from SRO to fucking empty.

Yeah, you keep asking questions about a shared universe.

That's fucking guaranteed to happen.

Because they aren't happy to

be able to pimp their business.

Well, that's the other thing.

We're on the West Coast.

I'm sure they were jazzed to hear you shut down the chancellor and then talk about their podcast.

That's not what they're there for.

Then have a fucking shared universe panel you want.

It's so bad.

We're on the west coast.

I'm like, you know, how many of you people are going to go to the fucking East Coast and like, let's fucking, you know, while we're here, let's see Ellis Island.

We'll go to New York.

We'll go to the Freedom Tower.

And then on the way, we'll swing around to Shared Universe and record a podcast for some fucking reason.

And the biggest problem with questions about a shared universe is that those guys are going to answer them.

It's a complete waste from beginning to end.

Oh, my God.

I couldn't believe it.

Are they the sole owners, right?

They are, right?

Yeah, it's just the two of them.

Here, Amazon's looking to buy them out.

Yeah.

Oh, Bezos, yeah.

Basil Cogos.

So, yeah,

that was the

con pretty much.

Oh, no, wait.

Something else happened where it made me think that something we've been talking about recently.

So, we went to the Four Colored Demon meetup, and I'm sitting with one of this guy, Frank.

Was that SRO, too?

No.

There was plenty of room there.

Yeah.

There was lots of room.

So I'm sitting there with one of the guys, Frank, a bullet ant.

Yeah.

Could it be Frank Seven?

Give me a second.

Give me a second.

Yeah.

So

it's a bunch of us.

It's like me and Mike and O'Halloran and Marilyn and then this guy Frank and like maybe four or five other people, his girl Laura.

And

then there's just these three women sitting over

like away from us.

They're not with us.

And it's an outdoor seating area.

So it's like, it's just us and then those three ladies.

So I send the three ladies a round of drinks from Frank, who's engaged.

So now we can talk about how his girlfriend is going to break up with him because he just.

There's his girlfriend there.

No.

But that doesn't mean that it can't come out.

It can't be leaked, right?

But here's my plan anyway.

So I send the round of drinks.

This is another Carl Weather's attempt.

It wasn't an attempt.

So I wait a little while, and then I go over to the the girls and I was like, he can't even bring himself to come over here, but my friend checked his bank account online and he's not going to be able to take care of those drinks.

And then I just walked away.

And they were pissed.

Like you could see in their faces.

But they were so pissy.

And

we were laughing about it.

So they're stowing over there a little bit.

And then the waitress, like, as she's like going to move something, knocks one of the full beers over onto one of the ladies.

So now not only does she think she has to pay for the drink, but now it's in her purse and shit.

It's all over.

But then

ultimately, we bought the round of drinks and like their dinner was like 25 bucks.

So we bought that.

And

so like we were joking around back and forth during that like flirtation, not like flirtatious like by proxy for him through that.

And he says May has more fun than him at Walmart.

This is pretty fun.

And as as the ladies are walking out, he's like, I can't do anything anyway.

I'm engaged.

He just yells at us.

And I say,

this fucking guy's all right.

We're talking about stripping Frank Three of his title.

Oh.

Come on, man.

I'm not opposed to stripping him of his title, but I don't want to give someone a number three, though.

I still think it's completely different.

Not even a Patreon guy.

I think he's a good one.

Why are you guys so eager to strip him of his title?

He's an asshole.

Yeah, man.

He has just gone completely radio silent.

He doesn't care.

He doesn't care about it.

Didn't we see him recently somewhere?

I don't think so.

The last time I saw him was at Volgarthon.

He is totally disinterested.

Wow.

He doesn't care.

Shouldn't we send him a letter?

Let him know that he's got to reactivate

his own or

a registered letter that he has to like, you know, like he's been summoned.

Yeah, we'll serve him.

Yeah.

at work

in front of everyone

you don't respond to this within one hour

script of your frank he's like i don't really like being called frank three anyway i've said that many times i'm really i think i'm a big fan of the whole podcast and being frank three i think it's made him uncomfortable yeah he wasn't ready for the fame he's just like can't go anywhere the responsibility i am not opposed to giving i stopped checking into four square

This Frank you met

making him seven?

I'm not opposed to that.

I'm not opposed to making anybody who signs up on Patreon whose name Frank, right down the line, they get a number automatically.

Now, our Frank number one is dead.

Frank number two is still alive.

Yeah.

Frank number one.

Now,

is that like a jersey in the rafters?

Adam should.

Yeah.

He still deserves that.

Even though he did sell stickers of a very questionable nature.

Which I just found recently.

I have one too.

It's insane, isn't it?

Just put it on the back of your car.

Yeah, yeah.

Driving at Staten Island with a avoid rape, just say yes, stick her on the back of my car.

He's a topless girl sitting on a bushel.

With a giant afro.

A white girl with a giant afro, right?

Yeah.

And he had so many of them.

Yeah.

I bought like 20 of them.

Patreon gift?

Recreate them somehow?

If you want to give them a shot.

I think I'm going to stay away.

They were awesome because they were those foil ones.

Yeah, the spargoes.

Let me tell you, recreating those stickers would be not those stickers, but foil stickers would be a good Patreon.

We did it with the Barons.

We've already done it.

Foil stickers.

Jeez, Louise.

You're sleeping at the wheel, Q.

You don't know what's on the bottom.

I'm not on the wheel.

The number of things you don't get, you don't even want to know.

I got your baseball jersey, got your hat.

Yeah, the baseball cards.

I got your posters.

The hat's so, so I'm wearing my hat right now.

You're going to see this a lot on me.

This is going to be my go-to hat from now.

You may have to go back to print on the hat then, maybe, because you may let people know.

Maybe we'll do the hat again, maybe in a different color.

It's a Patreon, yeah, because there's so many people who want the hats now.

I've had to turn away so many people now.

I wouldn't want like a blue and gray, like blue and gray, yeah.

Like Yankee colors, yeah, I hate the Yankees.

Think of it like uh

no hats, no hats for anyone.

Think of it like for me on Father's Day,

like Civil War, the North, weren't they?

The blue and the blue?

They were the good guys, they were the good guys, yeah, the reds and the Johnny Ribs.

You guys are both wearing your TSD hats.

They're fucking

dudes.

I can't wear the hat, though.

The TSD hat.

It just feels weird for me to be wearing my own hat.

I've heard that bands, that's one of those unwritten rules that you never wear your own

merch.

Your own merch.

Somebody I tell Brett Michaels that.

Doesn't he wear...

Oh, no, he doesn't.

Iron Maiden is definitely one of those bands.

Everyone in the band has an Iron Maiden shirt on.

Yeah, do you want to come see Iron Maiden?

Where at?

Barclays.

Up in Brooklyn.

Oh, you had a box?

No, just getting to it.

No,

general admission, man.

Floor seats.

Fight away to the beach.

That's all right.

Fight our way to the front.

I think they only have like 10 boxes there.

I'm not sure that they're going to

give it up to the guy from Practical Jokers.

I think they would.

Never asked.

You got to figure that they probably

have a lot of guests.

Yeah, you're right.

This request does not surprise me.

Why?

This new champagne taste Walt Flanagan.

Because there is a rumor going around town.

Oh, rumors.

A sandbag and stuff.

This is involving me.

I'm intrigued because very rarely do rumors attach themselves to me.

Right.

Well, this rumor, Mill,

kind of reliable,

tells me that Walt Flanagan,

I haven't seen the cut of your pants today, but I hear that.

This is true.

I got fucking hoodwinked by your jeans.

The denim surgeon?

Yeah.

What do you mean, hoodwinked?

She's great.

Catya.

I heard this story, and I was like,

dude, my jaw was open.

I was like, and he didn't say no?

And he's like, no.

So, Walt, tell it, yeah.

Oh, I mean, tell it.

Go ahead, yeah, yeah.

Well, here's what Ming told me after Walt told him.

So I went to Boston for a mini vacation, like a weekend vacation, and I was at an Army-Navy store.

Okay.

I brought some camo pants, pants

and they're too big.

And I remember you stating how great the

bank denim surgeon is called, right?

Denim surgeon.

And I said to myself, you know what?

I'm going to go over there and I'm going to get my pants taken.

I'm a man of means.

I've never done this before.

I've never stepped into a tailor's.

Well, because you thought no tailors existed anymore, remember?

It wasn't that long ago that you're like, there's no such thing.

So I say, I'm going to go in there and I'm going to see what I can do and see what if they can help me with these pants.

First off, I'm very self-conscious because they're not jeans, and I'm not sure if I'm being an idiot walking in there

without Dungarich.

I'm also self-conscious because I was wearing the pants and had to take them off.

She's so sad.

And I was pantsless.

So I walk in there and I'm like,

shirt tucked around his sack.

And the denim surgeon is only like two doors away from us in the back of the room.

She's right there, yeah.

Yeah, she's that close to us.

Never been in there.

So I walk in and I'm like, and I'm fumbling already because, like, I'm like, I don't know if you can work on these kind of pants, I said, but I had a friend who said, you know, highly recommended you, but I have these cargo pants that are way too big for me, and I don't know if you can do it.

And she says, well, do you work on surplus clothing by any chance?

How are you a canvas?

And she goes, yeah, you can put them on right there.

And she just points to like a shower curtain, like right at the right,

like right next door where you walk in well it's a very tiny business but yeah very very tiny

and I'm like

so that's your security in case somebody like a gust of wind or a car drives by fast because the door's open it's like that that little shower curtain is my only protection from I was worried that you were going to make my friend Kaya look bad but I could see this is going to

she's not the one

it also bears mentioning that the doors

the door faces a parking lot so how fast they would have to be going through a parking parking lot to create a gust?

Well, I'm a little eerie of walking in there and taking my clothes off and coming out, you know.

But I do it anyway, so

I don't want to look like a bumpkin.

So I.

Too late.

You're bringing in camel pants to get tailored.

Jesus Christ.

Even though I'm refined, right?

So I'm behind the curtain and I take my pants off.

Yeah.

And I'm putting my cargo pants on, my new cargo pants, and and I hear a voice come in.

And

I hear that.

Oh, hey!

I got getting some pants out.

Ooh, who behind that curtain?

What a shape.

It's true.

Oh, you're cutting some figure, lady.

I know it's him.

I'm going to drive my car by real fast.

So I know it's him, and I step out from behind the curtain.

And

I don't do anything crazier and try to

make a scene that, oh, this is my friend here.

I just step out, and

it takes him a good five seconds.

He looks right at me, and he doesn't know it's me.

I can tell he doesn't know it's me.

It took like a good five seconds for the recognition to make it.

And he's like, oh, oh, shit.

What are you doing here?

Because you're in a tailor.

It would be like if he went downstairs in the middle of the night and you were standing in his fucking, in his living room.

Why is it so strange to see me outside the stash, though?

Not outside the stash, outside the stash in a place where you're like, What is going on?

That would necessitate Walt being in a tailor.

He didn't get his suit tailored, so I can only imagine.

Now, before I stepped out from behind the curtain, he was picking up some clothes there.

And

he was apologizing because he hadn't picked them up in so long.

And he was making a lot of excuses of why he wasn't able to pick them up.

I have AIDS.

That was not one of his excuses.

Oh, terrible.

Say it.

Cool, Fran again.

Don't say shit.

I won't.

I thought you were.

You have to know I'm there, so I hear.

I mean, it's shocking, but it's good to hear you don't.

You're having this conversation a foot away from the woman.

Is anyone going to get their pants tailored?

there's my friend Walt!

No, no, no, I haven't stepped out yet.

Somebody's fucking

enters the orbit of our insane little world.

So I haven't stepped out yet.

And I hear the lady, he goes, How much do I owe you for

whatever service she's rendered?

And she says,

On my mother's life,

buy me a cup of coffee.

Buy me a cup of coffee.

But he's a super repeat customer.

Okay.

And then I step out.

Oh, so you didn't hear the original price?

I don't know what the original price is.

So I step out.

He recognizes me and he says, oh, this is my friend.

And he's like, he works over there.

And he goes, and Brian Quinn,

you know, recommended by Brian Quinn.

He goes, did you drop Brian Quinn's name?

He says that in front of her.

He says that.

And I go, no, no.

And I don't even really want to talk to him while I'm there because he's acting like, you know, he's acting like that weird, kind of like nervous.

He's about to act.

He's about to.

I don't know how to act either, but

they're going to rob me.

They met in prison or something,

and they're like, we've got a plan.

No two people who've known each other for decades would be this awkward with each other.

It was really awkward.

Oh, you know me?

I guess I do.

He doesn't have a

Talk him with this cow.

A cup of coffee.

That's like three bucks.

Cup of coffee.

So she then begins to do her pinning on me.

Like, she has me stand up.

And again, I'm like, whoa, we're doing this right here, like, right in front of Ming.

But you have pants on, though, right?

I have pants on, but like, I thought that, you know, how are you a fucking

Islamic fundamentalist?

Like, they're going to see your ankles?

Who gives a shit?

Because I don't, I've never been to a tailor before, and I've heard stories.

Yeah.

Oh, at the trunk club that they're cup of balls and whether you dress right or left.

Yeah, and I'm like, I don't like that.

And she's pretty too, Katya.

She's an attractive woman.

So now you're like...

Do you have a male tailor that can hand that can take care of me?

I don't ask that, but I'm like, you wouldn't fit in with the three of us here.

The goddamn place is so small.

So she starts doing that and then he he leaves.

He's just staring.

Watch him through the window.

She and I have another the second pair and I go, Do I have to put those?

He's just driving back and forth in the park.

trying to get that breeze going.

I was walking in Taylor, and he's like, so you like coffee, huh?

It's like speeding Gonzalez's shooting by

on a target scooter.

What's going on in there?

But so I thought

I wouldn't have to put the second pair of pants on.

She's already got what I thought she was doing.

They were the same pants.

Same cargo pants, but a different texture.

These were like a different color cargo.

And I'm like, oh, I have to put those pants on too.

You just didn't get enough information from she's like, I want some pockets out of these cargo pants, they only have 14.

So I got to put those on too.

You know, we go through it again, and then she starts to ring me up, and she goes, You could put a deposit down on them if you want, if you don't have

the full amount.

And I'm like, Well,

I can't buy a cup of coffee.

I feel like

I'm definitely going to have enough for the full amount.

And she fucking writes out, guess how much it was for me to get those pants?

Two pants.

And these were, the pants were originally like $30, you said, something like that?

$30 each.

They cost me.

Okay, so Grantola is $60 for two pairs of pants.

I would say,

for both of them, between $80 and $100.

More.

Really?

I got this slip in here.

It's fucking insanity.

It's insanity.

Check my receipt.

I mean, you should.

Hopefully you can write that shit off your your taxes because when you hear how much it was.

You know how much it was, right?

Yeah, Ming told me.

It was $210.

Oh!

That's, that's, that's.

I told my wife and my kids, and they're like, you got taken.

You got taken.

They're going, go back right now.

I got the receipt in here.

I'm not giving it out.

$210.

I put $30 down.

Any sane person would never go back, although it's tough because you're two doors away.

They were pretty big, but they were larges, though.

They were like MC hammer picks.

it was 210 right you know that's

yeah i'm not i mean i have the receipt i just don't know where it is but that 180 balance i don't know right now they're one of those old-fashioned that is a lot i thought she normally charged me like 50 bucks a pair well apparently yeah uh ming when i told ming he's like well why didn't you just say you were friends with q and i'm like why would i do that though why would that make a difference to anybody right and he goes well that's why you had to pay that price then he goes, But he did mention, though, that you knew him.

Look Ming did mention it.

$210, though.

That does, that does, that seems like a lot.

For just the hemming?

Or she's bringing them in all the way up the leg?

Tapering.

Oh, tapering is a little different.

Like getting yourself some fucking Apollo Creed pants, some athletic pants.

I still think that's high, but

I thought it was a little outrageous, too.

And so I don't want to look like, again,

I've never stepped into a tailor.

I'm like, I've been so careful to not look like a bumpkin up to this point.

I figured that's just okay.

Well,

you live and learn.

That's what it is.

You remember that she changed the inside of Ming's pants for 50 bucks a shot.

But a cup of coffee, she said.

Well, that's because if he brought it.

And the only reason you know that a cup of coffee was in the offering was because Ming came in.

Otherwise, you wouldn't have assumed.

Right, I know.

I mean, he's probably

there.

And he's probably, he probably gave her half up front, and she was like, the guy's here all the time.

He's got to feed his kids, too.

But three and a half times the cost of the pants for each one.

My balance is $180.

Well, I think that

mainly what's happening is people generally won't

get expensive pants tailored.

Right.

You know,

they don't bring something off like

Collinswood or something.

They're not bringing pants from there.

It's a lot.

I'm not going to lie, it's a lot, but I know that the quality of her work is

excellent.

Now, why were you not like,

I had no idea it was going going to cost that much.

There's no way.

What's the price of my idea?

I missed it.

No, it's $180.

$180.

$180 plus the $30 you put down would have been $210.

Oh, it's $180 altogether.

$180 altogether?

$180 altogether.

$35 deposit brings you $145.

Oh, okay.

All right.

I misunderstood.

Okay, it wasn't $210.

I apologize.

It's still.

Well, hold on.

Now, it's still three times the combined.

A full leg taper is $55.

After a local business, I really don't.

And

the hemming drawstring, you're getting a drawstring put in?

Okay, I think the

drawstring at the bottom.

At the bottom of the pants.

So you can cinch them?

They're army pants.

I'm an army guy.

Well, that's $35 to do the hem on a drawstring.

The full-length taper is what I get, which used to be $50.

Now it's $55.

Okay.

How much did you charge to size your military beret?

So I didn't get taken.

You didn't get taken.

Oh, okay, good.

You didn't get taken.

Well, no, you didn't get taken, but you overspent on that.

She would have charged me this.

That's what she would have charged Q.

She charged me $50 for the leg tapering.

I guess it raised $5 over the years.

Yeah, I think you're okay.

I'm not going to get her now.

You're going to look great.

She's excellent.

Have you gotten them back yet?

I haven't gotten back.

You're still waiting.

Where will you debut?

Where will these pants?

Friendly is a pretty good place.

We can get some shots of them.

Can we get some shots of them?

We'll put them up on Twitter and shit so people can see how fine you look.

You deserve to look good.

i got you deserve to look good in those pants thank you yeah i really wish though that i had known that before i went you would have done the guy wears track pants for 51 years he's finally like you know what i'm gonna upgrade my wardrobe

why would he tell you that

i've never told the story on tst he was laughing about it yeah he told me i can't remember when we were going uh we were taking a ride up to the airport yeah oh this shit this sounds like um so wait what did your wife say was your wife like don't pick him up or like why did you do that or she didn't care.

She was like, well,

did you take the pants and walk away?

Or did you leave the pants with her?

Is she doing the work?

I was like, she's doing the work.

She's like, then you've got to pay for him then.

Yeah, dude.

What are you going to do?

You live and learn.

Don't

you fucking stupid ass.

Girls, take a good look at him.

Look at this sucker.

Yeah.

Do better for yourself.

Fucking sucker.

This is definitely

white people shit, like white people problems, I guess you would hashtag it as.

Okay.

But

i'm coming back from the con no you wouldn't hashtag it at all but i'm coming back from the con and when i go to check in i notice that i'm like in one of the last rows in the middle seat

and i always ask like please just like i don't need to be fancy but i need extra legroom i'm just too tall

so when i see that i'm like well it i'm gonna change my seat Now there's only one seat available in the entire plane and it's in first class.

Yeah.

But it's 300 bucks.

All right.

How long's the flight?

It's like, it was like almost five hours.

Oh, it's so worth it.

It ended up, the seat itself was worth it, but this is United.

And I'm not going to go on and fuck be like, hey, United, bye bye, bye.

But when it comes time for the meal, the lady's like,

hey,

it's, you know, for lunch, we only have chicken.

Chicken and rice.

And I don't really want that.

And she's like, well, you know what?

I could try to get one of these

snack boxes for you because we don't have any of any other shit.

So I'm like, all right, I'll get the cheeseburger.

And when she brings the cheeseburger, it doesn't have cheese on it because they didn't have any cheese.

The burger's pretty burned up.

She's like, we also don't have any condiments.

Oh, my God.

I would love that burger.

So would sage.

That's what I was thinking.

Yeah, a little bit of ketchup she would go with, but yeah, you would have loved it because I've seen the shit you eat like that burn through.

Oh, my God.

Stays the same way.

Not a mad cow worm in sight.

I'm not no pink on my burgers, bro.

Yeah, everywhere else.

Everywhere else.

Yeah.

But I'm like, what kind of airline?

And that because then I had to make that caveat.

I liked it.

Everybody knew it anyway.

It's just a little reminder.

I don't know.

In my opinion, though, United's the best airline.

I usually like them.

Yeah.

But this, I was like, well, who planned this shit then?

Because the lady was like, you know what?

I think I brought something in my lunch.

They had like 500 packets of hot sauce, which people don't normally put on burgers.

I'm like, oh, am I fucking Hillary Clinton or some shit?

Did she do that?

Well, no, she like, one time they were like, what do you always carry in your purse?

And she's like, hot sauce, because she was trying to pander to black people, and I called her out on it.

She got called out.

Yeah.

And then she has one thing of mayo that was for her lunch.

And I was like, I don't want to take your mayo for your lunch.

She's like, no, no, no, it's fine.

It's fine.

So finally, I took it.

But I'm like, I did pay an extra $300.

Like,

what the fuck?

That looked like shit, too.

The guy next to me got it.

Really?

Do you talk to people on planes?

Like when you're on planes, strangers?

Me neither.

Very rarely.

It has happened.

It's usually

like a stunner,

really nice-looking guy.

I mean, or

sometimes, but I would say 98% of the times I got my buds in.

Yeah, you learned that from me.

I did learn it from you, and I am ignoring everything.

That's what I do.

When I'm in there, I have headphones this size on, like, always canceling shit.

Yeah, but sometimes you get a real corker or like a really pretty girl, so you just pass the time Yeah.

Shooting the shit.

To no end, though.

Really to no end.

Drink a little bit.

Yeah.

You know, feel good about yourself for a couple hours.

I could have got her.

Yeah, that's all right, huh?

It's fine.

I did wonder, though, I'm like, well, there's just, you just say fuck it, right?

You just say fuck it.

There's nothing you can do.

She's trying to help you.

It's not like she's being like, sir.

But the airline itself, I'm just, no, she was super sweet.

But the airline itself, I'm just like, that's such crappy planning.

You know what?

Mosier said something to me recently, actually, like two years ago.

And he was like, can we just stop pretending that every time you leave the house, everything's going to go well?

It's like, just get it through your head that it's not.

And then it's just the airline just didn't have the extra meal.

I wasn't even that hungry, but I was like, this is kind of fucked up.

That's such a weird

mode of thinking for him.

I didn't think he was that.

I thought he was a bit more positive than that.

No, I think he is being positive.

I think the point is, don't let it bother you.

Like, stop, stop, stop.

Just

roll with the punches.

He's assuming though that everything's going to go badly, though.

No, no, he's saying don't assume everything's going to go perfect.

Oh, okay.

He's like, just roll with the punches.

That's my philosophy.

Everything's going to go badly.

Yeah, he's like, and you know what?

It's a good philosophy.

Going back to the tailor, though, I want how much, how much of your wardrobe is

touched by tailor hands?

Not much.

She's done.

You can buy off the peg?

I use them off the peg.

On the rack?

They call it the peg?

Yeah.

Around here at comic book stores?

Yeah.

Usually it's off the rack, right?

My problem is this.

Are you talking about Ming getting pegged somewhere?

Did he teach you that?

Don't listen to him.

Well, I used to buy jeans that I'm taking out because I don't like skinny jeans.

He likes a generous seat.

Yep.

You don't like skinny jeans?

No, I don't think many of you.

Well, that's what you turned yours into, right?

If they're tapering down.

She said it's going to look so fly.

Yeah, no.

They're going to see your well-tail when you're walking down the street.

Tapered isn't necessarily skinny.

Tapered is just

body forming a little bit.

I don't know.

I don't like it.

So you would say what percentage of your wardrobe is tailored then?

Because I don't know.

Am I going to get addicted to tailored clothing?

I would say that

you just complained about like, I don't understand why I didn't

cost a cup of coffee.

I didn't expect that though, because Q told me I didn't get it.

I didn't get host.

No, I didn't.

Everybody's been telling me I've been, I was like, I got a lollipop for a head.

No,

an all-day sucker.

But now that you've told me otherwise, I feel like I've made the right decision.

You did.

You look good.

You don't like the way they look.

But

you paid the same price.

I'm not too good, though.

That'll be a problem then.

Yeah, then Debbie's going to tear up the pants.

She's like, no more of these tailored pants for you.

Everybody can see your thighs.

You're not going to pants.

We're all saying to look like Carl Weathers.

When I married you, you weren't Carl Weathers.

I wanted Carl Weathers to married Carl Weathers.

Jim Jackson.

Yeah, Billy Dee was at the con

Hodor.

What's he doing?

Billy D.

Billy D?

Yeah, it looked all right.

You know, he's in a new Star Wars movie, right?

Yeah.

I wasn't aware of that.

Well, it says he's all over the trailer.

They needed him.

Oh, yeah, they needed him.

Some damage control, right?

They're going to be fixing that last Jedi fuck up for for 10 years.

Yeah, you think so?

I think so.

They got to come out of it.

They got to hit this one out of the park or else it's a real bad stumble.

Yeah, they got to.

They're basically giving JJ a copy of the movie.

Could it kill the franchise?

Another bad movie?

Come on.

All right, three in a row?

Three in a row.

There would be a point, I think, where people would be like, just fuck this, man.

Really?

I mean, Last Jedi.

Well, it didn't happen with the fucking Phantom Menace and Attack of the Clones.

Well, they got Revenge of the Jedi.

But it did, though.

But it did, though.

They didn't make any more movies until Disney bought them.

Right.

So I think that gave people like, all right, well, Lucas is out of it, so we'll give it another shot.

I think Force Awakened was good, good enough, certainly, for people to be like, okay.

And then Last Jedi just came and just fucking diarrhea all over the screen for two hours.

What did it do?

Diarrhea.

Just blasted like a skunk sprayed diarrhea all over the screen.

Oh, that word was diarrhea.

Yeah.

Diarrhea.

No, no, diarrhea.

Like

a verb.

Diarrheard.

Did you miss make that up?

Or is that a real thing, that real lingo now?

I don't think diarrheard is a verb.

No, I don't.

Well, I mean,

I may have coined it.

Yeah, it was.

You just coined it.

Yeah, I coined it.

Now, speaking of Star Wars and what we're just talking about right now, the response to I Saw 300.

How would someone who can't pronounce R put so many Rs into a word unnecessarily?

Gotta be me, man.

But the response to I Saw Comics 300 that Tom Steve Dave did.

Yeah.

Many, many demands for me and you to do a comic book podcast.

Really?

Yeah.

I would love to do that.

I would love to do that too.

And just when your schedule frees up, I think we should definitely promise that on the Patreon.

Oh, yeah.

Like hardcore, like

no, like, no deviation.

Can we do it in July?

Oh, I could do it whenever.

I just didn't think you were ever.

Oh, man.

I would love to do that.

Yeah.

All right.

And we'll pick certain things.

I never tell comics on anybody.

I don't have that in my life.

You can have it.

I want it.

Yeah.

I want it.

Put it on that $5 fucking patron tier, too, just so it'll be.

Because

I don't know if anybody else wants to.

There was definitely some people who want to hear it, but I don't know if

it's that popular to just talk about comics.

Well, I mean, if Mike and Ming are any

bar to go by, I'd say

most people don't give a shit.

We'll pick a certain era or a certain series to pick up.

Hey,

I'm rereading all the crisis now.

The original, Mar Wolfman Prez?

I'm working my way through that.

Then I'm going to go to Infinite Crisis.

I'm going to do all the crisis

storylines.

I'm going to solve it.

I'm halfway through.

Which one you up to, right?

You're starting off with the first?

Yeah, I'm halfway through the first one.

I loved that as a kid, but when you read it now through four-year-old eyes, man, holy shit.

Tough to swallow.

There's a lot of standing around of people being talking to themselves, going like, look at Supergirl.

She's so selfless.

She's such a hero.

Why Why can't I be what she is?

Like, out loud to themselves, there's a lot.

Out of those red clouds.

Yeah, and Pariah, that character, he's like always looking scared and shit.

He's like, no, it is my doom.

It is my curse.

And it is cheesy, but I'm like, this is what it was.

Yeah, I mean, they were getting paid by the word, it feels like.

Yeah, yeah, it is rough.

That artist is still, I love it, though.

It looks amazing.

It looks amazing.

So, yeah, if you want to do one on the

crisis,

I would do one on all the crisis.

Yeah.

I read them all.

So it would be infinite

crisis.

Right.

I mean, if you're going to do

all the major events, you could do like legends.

You can do like we just follow all the DC.

Let's do that.

Yeah.

Well, yeah.

That came down the pike from like 80 years.

Kingdom Comes, one of my favorite storylines.

Right up to the current day.

That could be our

jammy.

I love it.

Who wants to talk about erectile dysfunction?

Yeah,

I heard we do have to talk about that.

We do.

Can we call it we buy comics?

we can call it whatever you want that's it that's good right we better i buy comics i buy comics better get that on twitter though right yeah right i'm gonna

get somebody to do uh they had somebody somebody did another song i guess i don't know did you give them a an alternate version of i sell comics why are we not cute you know a lot of famous rockers why are we not hearing i sell comics by like method man rapping it or uh

or maroon five playing it

don't we have like 50 versions of it

just grab probably an old version that somebody had handed in yeah but wouldn't it be interesting to hear like different rock bands do it?

And what makes you think they're going to be a little bit more

studio?

Method Man loves comics.

Oh, I guarantee he could do it at home, right?

Yeah.

Throw a little, what do they call it?

Beat and a hook together.

Yeah.

He did a song for us for the IJ movie soundtrack if it comes out.

Say,

I mean, I don't know what any of these people are getting out of it.

I would just like to

write a new song for I Buy Comics.

Yeah.

That's great.

All right.

Dude, yeah.

All right.

I buy comics.

I will, I'll lock that down.

Let me go.

Let me start now.

Shared universe is shuddering as we speak.

Why?

Nobody's going to listen to I sell comics anymore.

They're like, people.

It's going to be our Patreon.

It's not going to be like, it's going to be competing.

People would rather pay and listen to you than listen to those two clouds for free.

All right.

That is not what we said.

That is what we're going to do.

Oh, I thought that was

the motto or whatever, your little tagline.

Do I get iBuycomics.com?

Yeah.

All right.

Definitely.

If that's available, available, right?

That seems like one people.

How are you reading it online, or are you reading it like a nice collected version?

I have a collected version.

I'm reading it on my iPad right now because it's easy to travel with, but I have them all in hardcover.

Yeah.

I'll have plenty.

We'll have plenty to talk about.

That's great.

I love

with the comic boners you two are sporting right now.

You can't be fucking artificial.

I guess you don't need that shit.

I can't hate it.

ibuycomics.com is a four-color fucking

correction right now.

Fucking

it's like it's on fire like the human torch and shit.

This is a sponsor I always hear on the radio and shit.

Blue Chew, Q.

Blue Chew.

Yeah.

It's a chewable, like a Viagra, a Cialis type thing.

You can take them anytime, day or night, even on a full stomach, which is usually the case with me.

And since they're chewable, they work twice as fast as a pill.

Well,

here's some uh stuff that people said okay i tried blue chew the other night and i'll just say this wow my partner agreed i don't even know what that means agreed with what

they're saying that's an endorsement with the wow i think she also agreed with the wow i buy maybe it's not a girl i'm sorry i don't want to interrupt the money making but uh i buy comics is taken how about uh i buy comics test.com Perfect.

Yeah.

Okay.

Why do we need a website, though?

Are we selling comics?

I think we just block and get them.

Oh, okay.

All right.

But back to

Viagra.

Here's a second thing somebody said.

When I tried Blue Chew, I really noticed something extra.

And for some reason, only extra is quoted, although the whole thing is a quote.

I'm not exactly sure why.

Is this a questionable product to push cue?

Is it like horny goatweed?

What is this?

No, it's legitimate medication.

Like, what happens is you go online, you answer some questions, and then you do like a

video chat with a doctor.

That it's not healthy, or it's not.

I just mean like, is this selling out?

How so?

You think this is us selling out?

Blue Chew?

I don't think we sold out yet.

I didn't think so either.

Patreon was selling out, yeah, probably.

All right, well, then selling out all over.

Jesus Christ.

Yeah, I don't think Blue Chew is the net.

But this kind of reminds me of the Adam and Eve kind of thing, because

this is only used for one thing.

Okay.

But what's wrong with that?

I don't know.

It's just like

a respected member of the community, you know.

It's like I carry it away.

You know what?

I'm a respected member of the community.

Who's respecting you?

All the other vendors and retailers in Redbank.

Oh, yeah?

Name one that you talk to and you feel respected by?

Jack.

Jack, because you pay rent.

It's somebody who you don't have some financial obligation to.

I think all the vendors.

Yeah, don't count the fucking seamstress either.

I think all the vendors have to look up to one of them, the grandfathers on the street, because we've been here probably some of the longest.

That's true.

People always do respect their elders and hold what they say and

regard.

Come on, man.

I was here when they were fucking still in diapers.

I know you were.

And now you're in diapers, and they're still young.

No, there's nothing wrong with this.

Look, all right, I just want to.

Well, let's say something tragic happened.

I'm waiting for Q to give it his stamp of approval.

Yeah, people have problems, man.

Some people have a problem getting it up.

Yeah, that's like saying if somebody got sick, you're like, oh, well,

you can't give them medicine?

They got a sick cock.

You got to help them cure it.

They're coughing and stuff.

Yeah, I want people to have a very satisfying.

I want the ants to

feel virile.

People with

other kinds of diseases, though, I would feel a little bit better than

helping them.

What's a more serious disease than not being able to get hard when you want to fuck someone?

It's serious, it is, but it's, but I'd be able to hold my head up a little bit higher if I was helping someone get better from like the measles rather than

some anti-vaxxer fucking idiot.

Fuck them.

Let them die of measles then.

They don't want the vaccine so badly.

You don't have to raise money for it.

Go get a fucking measles vaccination, you fucking asshole.

That's the cure.

I didn't mean

not being a moron.

I just meant like a disease that's not, doesn't have the connotation that

you're talking about.

Here's where you

but what's wrong with that?

I'm not saying, you know, in certain companies, you wouldn't like talk about like, you know what I'm doing?

I'm spreading the word of helping people

get harder, longer erections rather than like, so you won't talk about that at the next family holiday.

Yeah, it's not something you would bring up, but I could bring up like, hey, I'm really involved with the company that's making a difference in people's lives who are suffering from.

Have you ever heard of Model Fabric?

It's like sitting on a cloud with your balls on a fucking whatever the fuck.

Nobody gives a fuck.

Nobody cares.

I'm fine with it.

Well, this isn't just for guys who can't perform, it's for any guy who wants extra function to enhance their performance in the bedroom.

For instance, most guys talk a good game, but if you're one and done, Blue Chew

can even help you follow through for round two.

Is that something that people want?

Like, if you're like, do you want round two ever?

Anymore?

Oh, my God.

I don't know.

Like, I don't know if, like, if round two would be appreciated, though.

Round two, you'd be shooed away.

Right?

She'd be flushing Blue Chew down the toilet.

God, go to bed.

More like round gross.

Get away from me.

Yeah, is round two.

You don't think like if, like, let's say you plan a day with your special lady, be like, you know what?

Today is round two.

We're going to do as many times as we can over the course of the entire 24-hour span.

I think, like, what?

Don't you don't want to go see a movie?

We can in between.

That's what I'm saying.

Like, you're going to have to be a little bit more.

It's not going to be a constant.

Well, if I got Blue Chew, I don't need to go see a movie.

Right, but I'm just out of control.

You're talking to several people.

He's playing a piano with his eyes fucking out of his head.

You don't think like it it would be a nice, fun, intimate day for you and your lady to be like, today's the day.

We're going to fucking as many times as we can.

We're going to do it.

Yeah, 10 round and then a knockout.

No pressure.

No, nobody's saying 10 rounds.

I don't know if multiple rounds is the.

Usually when I bagnet check every round, there's a knockout somewhere.

I don't know.

I think this may be.

But this would be for our people in our age group, right?

I mean, this is not.

Blue Chew isn't probably for the people who really want to go multiple rounds, right?

No, because they're just doing it.

So, like, you have to.

They have the ability, stupid youngsters.

You come with, like, you know, make sure your partner wants multiple rounds, let alone, you know, let me know.

We can't be held accountable for people like women writing in being like, look, you guys advertise this shit.

Like, he can buy underwear or healthy snacks or whatever other bullshit you guys are peddling.

Oh, vanilla granola.

Where is that shit?

What was that?

Bender

again?

Nature box, right?

Yeah, yeah.

They must have.

Oh, man.

too many people drew the parallel to a nature box being a pussy, and they got pissed and fucking dissolved the company.

Wow.

All right.

So it's prescribed online, shipped straight to your door in a discrete package, so you don't have to go to the doctor and the pharmacy.

No more awkwardness, which you hate.

You're curing awkwardness.

How can you get that prescription online, though?

Don't you have to go for like some blood work?

You

I guess not.

I mean, according to this, you don't have to.

This is like extends?

They're made, no.

This is like actual medicine.

It's like the same active ingredient as Viagra or Cialis.

Yeah, it's not covered by patents anymore, right?

No, not covered by patents anymore.

Does it make it go longer?

I don't believe it.

I've taken it.

Oh, you're taking it?

Took Blue Chew?

Viagra.

Oh, Viagra.

Well, the blue stuff, I've taken it.

Yeah.

I wanted to see how it worked.

Tell them, Steve, Dave.

Well, we're not even done with the commercial yet.

I don't know if we want to hear anymore, though.

Well, I do.

I don't even need blue chew right now.

Yeah.

They're made in the USA.

Yeah,

I wanted to see how it was.

Really?

There's nothing wrong with it, right?

It was fucking great.

Yeah.

You weren't terrified that it was going to

be one of those three-day hard-ons.

No, that never really crossed my mind.

Like, it wouldn't go away.

I'd be okay with that, I think.

Did you ever?

No, it was fun.

It was fun.

Yeah, all right.

Felt good.

What's more important than that?

Nothing.

I agree.

Oh,

you can get vanilla granola just on Amazon, so I guess.

Oh, yeah.

So Nature Box is still in business.

It's still in business.

I wonder what happened.

I wonder why they gave up on us.

I don't know, but now I'm just going to order this vanilla granola off Amazon unless Nature Box wants to come and get us back.

You ready to quit Amazon and come back to us?

You fucked up, Bezos.

All right, Blue Choop.

So how do you feel about that?

So it's made in the USA, which is a big deal because you don't want this Chinese or Indian counterfeit shit.

No, honey goat we do.

Fentanyl and shit.

They prepare and ship directly.

They're cheaper than in a pharmacy.

And here's the special deal, boys.

Visit bluechew.com, get your first shipment free.

Was it illegal, though, for you to take it?

You weren't prescribed it.

No, I went.

I got a prescription.

I told the doc I wanted to try it.

And he just was like, okay, just what?

One thing?

He actually just gave me samples right there.

He didn't even give me a prescription.

He just gave me samples.

See, not everybody has the fucking sack like you to walk in and be like, the dick could be harder.

You know, give me samples.

I didn't even say that.

I was literally like, I just want to try it.

I want to see what it's like.

And he ate samples.

Yeah.

So not everybody has the balls and the bravado of a cue.

No.

You know, like, if God forbid it should happen to you and you got to do something like this, isn't Bluetooth the way you'd want to go?

Yeah, you're right.

You're right.

I'm all turned around.

So, well, that's good.

Because all you fucking limp dick motherfuckers out there.

Yeah, you don't have to be.

You don't have to be.

The fucking great thing about this world, man,

is like our caveman ancestors,

there was nothing they could do.

Low testosterone?

Caveman Bry?

Well, they would get...

He's fucking off of himself.

He's fucking.

Well, they would try to get like dinosaur horns.

Yeah.

You know, and they would strap it on.

Witch doctors, and, you know, and they would take the horn of a dinosaur and

grind it up like tiger penis and shit.

Yeah, well, we all know how good that works

uh

you get go to blue chew.com get your first shipment free use that special promo code t-e-s-d and just pay five dollars shipping again that's b lu echo.com promo code t-e-s-d to try it free blue chew is the better cheaper faster choice

and it's written here so i guess we gotta do it we thank them for sponsoring the podcast all right well wait a second thanks blue chew so this is the same active ingredient.

They're not sending us some free samples?

Yeah, you can go.

I'm going to check your emails.

You've been offering samples.

I'm not saying that I'm going to flip you some, but I got you covered.

Don't worry about it.

I went on bluechew.com.

We're all taken care of.

Did you really?

Yeah.

I got you.

Do we get free samples from shit all the time, and I just don't know about it?

You didn't have a hat hat.

I think you're getting all that.

All my Bluetooth, bro.

You can have it all.

I mean, just give me some Blue Chew.

You can have it all.

I have a hat back because I just saw you.

What email is this going to?

I never even saw this.

I saw emails going.

I don't know if they maybe you weren't CC'd on it, but I saw emails where we were going to get from who samples

from DK.

Yeah.

Will people will the perception of the podcast change now that we're we're we've ventured into this territory?

Yeah, they're like they're dirty now.

Why?

I don't know.

We've kind of been wholesome up to this point.

Have we?

I think so.

I I like to think of us as having a a wholesome soul at the end.

But why is why is sex not wholesome, wholesome, man?

None of us.

Well, you know, because he's fucked up, that's why.

Married sex, yeah.

Didn't we just do a thing on Patreon where he's like trying to piss people off?

He's trying to get people to go crazy, be like, that stupid motherfucker.

I just, I don't know.

Didn't you do a thing where you get him going down on a peach last week?

Fig.

On a peach

Coming up on the all-new Sunday show.

If you're not on Patreon and you are going to miss the all-new Sunday Jeff Show, episode 14, it's going to change podcasting.

It is a game changer in the podcasting world.

I'm putting it out there.

Babe Ruth calling a shot.

This will change podcasting for

the whole,

what's it called?

From here on out.

Yeah.

Podcasting is going to be like the old way of doing it.

Yeah.

People are going to be like, fuck, fuck, man.

I'm just going to, yeah, we had a picture.

Like how Amazon changed the whole fucking retail landscape.

That's what we're going to do.

That's what we're going to do.

With this one single.

Yeah, we really, we pulled, we did everything possible to get you in on that cue, but we were working on it.

Yeah,

but you know what, though?

I didn't want to.

You knew that.

I don't want to see Giddam going down on a fig.

Well, I knew you were going to fucking just rip that fig up.

Yeah, my tongue curls around it.

I just took some fucking blue chew.

It's going nuts.

You know, those guys would have been all intimidated.

You straddle up to that.

Can I just pretend to suck a cock and steal?

She was here.

So if you're not on the Patreon, you just got to get on the $5 tier.

No, it's $10, right?

No, no, the video is going to be released to the $5 tier.

That's because I want everybody to see it.

I want everybody to see this because, like I said, it's a game changer.

We're going to be talking about it.

Yeah.

I'm going to send you the video when it's cut.

Please.

Please.

And it's like an old-fashioned

push-eating contest.

I was like, what they used to do.

Pie-eating contest.

An old-fashioned pie-eating contest.

Fucking hair pie.

Back when men were men.

And

Troy was the judge on who did it the best.

And it was Bri, Gidham, and Jeff.

And

like I said, it's just a revolutionizing.

Anybody's game, for real.

It's revolutionizing podcasting.

I have a.

So if you aren't on this,

we'll finally earn our Walk of Fame on the Hollywood Walk of Fame, the star.

I don't know if podcasting is recognized by Hollywood.

Sure it is for getting a star.

I think you could buy your own star.

Should we buy our own star?

It's like 30 grand, isn't it?

I would not.

Yeah, I would not want to do it.

We'll do like a GoFundMe.

Yeah?

Yeah, why not?

PESD fucking.

People do it for the future.

Having a Walk of Fame?

The first podcast to have a fucking star.

Oh, I doubt with it for.

We got to do that.

Who else would be?

Like Joe Rogan, maybe?

I don't know.

Yeah, I'm going to look into it.

I'll look into it.

Well, as we're talking, let let me see if there's any podcasts on the walk of fame.

Whoa,

right?

We should, by all rights, be in the Book of World Records for having the first ever podcast episode released on vinyl.

We should.

I don't know why we weren't.

A lot of people make that claim, and then they're like, We got to get shouted.

Anguish them.

Without shouted down by the ants who let them know, no, no, no.

It's been done, bitch.

There was a pod who did it in 200

whatever.

We're not good with years.

We are not.

Hollywood Walk of Fame

podcast.

Looks like one that Jimmy Kimmel likes.

Who knows?

I mean, we got to do this, please.

Yeah, set it up.

That'd be pretty cool.

I'm going to get my assistant on this.

Okay.

A couple weeks ago,

a queue had practical jokers at a tenderloin, so whoever legally I got to say.

No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, casino up in New York.

Mohegan Son.

Mohegan Son.

Connecticut.

No, no, no, no.

New York.

The one that I went to, the Catskills one.

Catskills, right?

Sorry.

Sorry.

Next day.

So

at one point in the day, I read a joke to Q that I came up with,

and it was a snap.

Remember the old snaps, like your mama's so fat, she uses a PCR as a beeper back when beepers were all the rage.

So I wrote a snap that your mama's so senile, she forgot the lyrics to the Liberty Mutual jingle.

Now,

it's not a great joke because,

as we'll find out in a minute,

because you have to take a second and be like, oh yeah, that's right.

The only word is Liberty.

Liberty, Liberty, Liberty.

Liberty.

So I'm defending the honor of the joke and the integrity of the joke to Q and to Mary Beth.

And everybody's like, your joke stinks.

And why don't you use like Meow Mix instead?

But I was like, you know what?

I'm going to stay true to the joke.

I'm not changing it.

And then Q said, well, you know what?

We'll test it.

I have to have an audience of 5,000 people to help capture it.

5,000 people in an audience.

And he's like, oh, run it by them.

So that's what he does.

And they open the show.

I'm like, I need you guys to judge.

I say, don't

say you like it if you don't.

You don't know where I stand on it.

I might not like the joke.

So don't do what you think I want to hear.

Is this a good joke?

Resoundingly, almost unanimously, not a good joke.

Well, the only people who weren't booing are the people who didn't really know what the joke was.

They tried to figure it out.

And then once they did, they were like, boo.

I got booed.

Okay.

He got booed.

And like, by proxy, I got booed.

But no, not by proxy.

I pointed you out as the person who wrote the joke.

The spotlight fell upon him.

I wasn't taking credit for that shit.

People still booed.

But there was something so awesome about being able to have that many people react negatively

and not care about it.

And what I have here is that you missed the best part.

What was that?

He got up to get a drink.

I didn't realize that.

Later on, towards the end of the show, I slipped the joke into the show, and it got a fucking

people, people went, like, people really liked the timing of where I put it in.

They weren't expecting it.

It was a callback, it was a callback, and it worked really well.

And I look out, and he was fucking nowhere to be found.

I was drowning my sorrow.

So it's like, I'm never going to make it in this business.

So it can work under the right conditions.

It just needed to be in the hands of a professional.

Sure.

It just had to marinate just a bit

before it was appreciated.

It was ahead of its time, really, by like, I don't know, 30 minutes or so.

45 minutes.

But I have here the card that I wrote it down on and Q actually read from on stage and I signed it and Q will sign it.

And the first person after hearing this to tweet,

say, hashtag Liberty Mutual, we'll send them this card.

Nice.

I think that's a nice little giveaway, right?

Can you sign something that you stage used?

Do you ever send that dick magnet shirt out?

Send what?

You ever send that dick magnet shirt out?

I don't know.

I emailed the guy.

He never answered me.

He never asked me.

You don't got a great track record for mailing stuff out.

Can you sign this and give it to Walt?

He can send it out.

I would, if that guy's listening right now.

I saw it in the drawer just the other day, and I was like, holy shit, this fucking thing is still here.

I emailed him twice.

I was like, dude, you won.

Did you give it to somebody else?

Never heard back.

All right, I'll give it a try.

We have to run an all-new contest.

Well, that was for what?

What was that one for?

Well, remember we had

the overbite contest, and we were supposed to have

the hairy ass.

No, because the girl won.

It was the girl who won the overbite contest.

It wasn't a guy.

But you did immediately say you wanted to have a hairy ass contest for guys.

So is that what we're doing next?

Oh, no, no.

That was a joke.

I want to skip that one, too.

All right.

Okay.

Well, I mean, you've done Not So Super Bowl, that kind of shit.

I thought maybe we just forward them to Ming.

Let him judge.

So what else?

Is that it for the week?

I guess so.

This is.

So you're off to L.A.?

I'm off to L.A., but I don't think

an episode dropped this week.

Yeah.

So this is for next week, and then I'm back the week after.

So I'm not even going to miss an episode.

I'm not even going to miss a beat.

Feels good.

I hate when I miss an episode because I know you guys are having so much fun and there's so many good jokes coming and I'm missing them all.

Yeah, I was happy that you could make it because I'm like, I want to tell them about these pants.

Pantings is fucking great.

I would never would have told that.

Yeah, I would never have thought that was worthy of even mentioning.

Well, I just, I know the moment of like, they're fucking how much.

Also, that's one of the reasons because I was so like, I don't want to let anybody, the listeners, that think I'm some sort of fucking hick, you know, that could just get, you know, they could just take me for everything I got.

Like a denim surgeon do.

Well, yeah, I think, yeah.

Well, that's the thing.

They're not like.

I mean, are you really a doctor?

Because the prices are insane.

I think by this point most people are like

he's just ignorant.

You don't know.

Tell him, Steve Dave.

Hey, this episode is not over.

That's right.

There is some bonus content following the episode that you're about to listen to.

And this bonus content comes from the newest Frank.

That's right.

Frank number seven or three.

I'm not sure what we decided upon in the episode, but he recorded the comic bookmen panel at the convention that Bry references in the episode you guys just listened to.

So we thought it'd be nice to include that audio so you guys have some frame of reference to what was going on in the episode that Bry was talking about.

I also want to shout out a quick recovery to Danielle, who is recovering from surgery.

Sure, all the ants are wishing her the most speedy of recoveries on her surgery.

All right.

All right.

Let's listen to this bonus panel content from a con that Brian Mike and Ming were at a couple weeks ago.

All right.

Thanks, guys.

I love it.

What do you guys got for us?

Oh,

okay.

Well,

what do we got to do?

Calm down.

First, I want to publicly shame someone.

I know you're not supposed to do that anymore, but Kat, who is Carl Weatherick's handler, has

ruined what could have been Ming getting his ass kicked by Carl Weather.

How did that happen?

Well, Carl Weather wasn't at his two.

Now, hold on.

How many people would pay to see that?

Yes.

Right.

Why don't we add that as a feature?

We're thinking about it for tomorrow.

So if you're around tomorrow and you're a VIP member, you might get a show.

So Carl Weathers isn't at his table.

So I wrote a note that said, Carl Weathers ain't shit, and I signed Ming's name to it.

And I put it on his table so he would have found it.

So he goes back to his table, and I assumed he found it.

And so then I told Ming, or we told Ming, hey, Carl Weathers wants to meet you.

I went, what, what, really?

Paul Creed wants to meet you.

So he'd go over and introduce himself.

And then we could watch him get hit by Carl Weathers.

But then it turned out that his assistant had, like, put the, she's like, oh, I didn't even know what it was, so I just put it to the side.

So if you see Kat, just give her a thumbs down.

And if you see Carl Weathers, tell him that Ming chances forget about it.

He said he wants to fight.

Would you take on Carl Weathers?

Like today?

Like let's say today?

I mean

Mike and I were discussing your chances over lunch.

In what format?

What chances?

Oh yeah, no holes barred?

Are we talking pugilism?

No, we're talking about Ming being loaded into a body bag and the car.

So like MMA style, like no holes barred?

I would assume he would stab you in the neck with a pen.

Well, what's your move on a no-holes barred situation?

I think like, um, no, I'm smaller than him, so like, I would just like run around him real quick and like, kick him in the nuts every so often.

You look very agile.

Yeah.

I don't see that.

I don't see you circling him like he's a wagon train specific

thing about scare.

Yeah, who do you think you are?

Like, what are you doing?

Jerry Mouse?

You've seen him.

He's still in great shape.

He's going to be in the Mandalorian, for God's sakes.

Why don't you just present yourself to Carl Weather?

This is the only chance you have.

Be the old two-hit fight, he hits you and you hit the floor kind of thing.

That'd be more like Ming Chen being like, I'm your bitch.

Pretty much.

That's it.

Yeah, and I'm like, I'm going to go hit that.

And then he's like, who's this Ming Chen point talking about?

And he still has no clue.

He's like, I have no clue who you are, but you're my bitch now, I guess.

So I can take you for a scuff.

I want to apologize for Mike's misstars and this is a good thing.

Yeah, cool.

And then had sex with Carl Withers, though, there's no reason to call him a bitch.

Yeah,

I don't see specific gender when it comes to the word bitch, so Ming is definitely a bitch.

That does bring up a valuable question.

Okay, so I noticed that you're the one that gets kicked on.

We've watched the show, we've seen you live.

As you see, it hasn't ended.

You know, I'm on the same end as far as the comic go, so I just want to know how you handle it.

Like, you seem like you handle it well, though.

Yeah, I mean,

you look at the guy who's making fun of you, and like, that guy's making fun of me.

Like, that's

him?

I think that,

like, zero dignity.

Yeah, I think that's all it was.

Low self-esteem.

No dignity, like wants attention at any cost.

That goes a long way.

Very long way.

Very long way.

Yeah, I mean, that and like

20 plus years of abuse.

You just kind of used to dunk up.

He's desensitized, yes.

You gotta look at the battered white syndrome.

You just keep coming back.

I feel bad for you.

Can we take up a GoFundMe so I think you get psychiatric help?

Yeah.

You too, right?

I'm going to put a tip tar down here for all you guys.

You'll come out of it at the other end of the stronger bitch video, I promise.

Because I call it a lot good the way of using the word bitch.

Psychiatric tab, bar tap, save difference, right?

Oh, yeah, oh, I drink a lot too, a lot of Jameson.

That helps

a lot of Jameson.

So,

while y'all explain the shared universe and what it is,

for those that don't know, I mean, they're kind of revitalizing and

working the podcast game in a way that's never been done.

So, the shared universe is something we enjoy watching it.

And where'd it come from?

Who's the brain child?

Actually,

the brain child, Ming and I were like, oh shit, comic bookmen is not going to last forever.

I know, what do we do now?

And yeah, I've been spending like a drunken sampler, so we got to have something to fall back on.

So I'm like, Ming, you got pocket change, let's open up a podcast studio.

So we ended up actually

came up with the name, and we actually had a prototype studio, and it was in the same building that Rob Bruce had his offices in.

So that should tell you something.

If you don't know who Rob Bruce is, Rob Bruce was our quote-unquote expert on comic book man.

In case you're wondering, though, this is not part of a sleep psych, this is really

AI.

So we ended up there and we were paying rent to this guy who we assumed was our landlord and turns out he didn't own the building.

So

we got a week to get our stuff out of there when the real owners actually found out they're like, you're not supposed to be there, you're squatters.

We're demolishing the building in a week.

And if you're not out of there, you're screwed or dead.

The way that goes too, it's like in cereal, they're like a certain amount of like rat hairs or like little eggs are in it.

I think when they knock a building down, there's a certain number of hobos they're allowed to take with them.

It would have been two.

It would have been the quota.

No, actually in New Jersey, it's 12.

So

I think Rob Bruce was in the building when I was knocked down and just got up and like dusted himself off and started pulling his crap out.

I'm like, I can still sell this.

I think Shared Universe

had a bumpy start, I remember.

Ming was a little bit of a dream killer, right?

Didn't Mike take you to see a glorious property once?

Oh, yeah, he did.

Yeah, he said, hey, come here and see this building.

It's like, we could open up a podcast studio over here.

Oh, you gotta go tell the whole story about how you went there early and everything.

Mike was very excited.

Yes, one day you're like, hey, meet me at 8 a.m.

tomorrow morning, like here on the street.

I'm like, okay.

I'm bringing Carl Weathers with me.

And I remember we met there.

He's like, and we were were there, and this real estate agent gets out.

Yeah, we had a real estate agent.

He's like, hey, I'm here to show you guys the building.

I'm like, what the hell?

Fucking building.

She saw it, and you're like, what the fuck?

And hey,

we go and we tour this.

It's like a glorious four-story building,

Red Bank.

It was amazing.

And I'm like, why are we looking at a building?

And Mike's like, what do you think?

Podcast studio.

Let's open one up here.

And I go to the real estate agent.

I'm like, how much is this building?

She's like, $2.5 million.

And I'm like, did you inherit a bunch of money or something?

Did you are you like, are you wealthy and no, you didn't tell anybody?

No, why are we looking at a two and a half million dollar building?

You were hoping you were gonna float the money.

Yeah, I was like,

I didn't, I don't have that kind of budget.

Why are we looking at that?

Are you telling me that now?

Yeah, why are we

our partnerships dissolved?

Right, why are we looking at a $2.5 million building?

Why the hell not?

Dream big, right, folks?

Anyone got $2.5 million?

Now they're in a $500 a month studio.

Yeah,

we can't dream a little bit.

Dream realistically.

Everyone's looking at dream, but if you keep doing that, bullshit.

There's tons of little kids.

You pay attention to this.

There's tons of stuff you will never be able to do anything.

Yeah, you.

Listen to them.

You will not.

That's just the way it is.

Take a look at him.

It's true.

You couldn't even conceive of how many things I suck at.

The only thing I'm good at is pretending my friends are married or in some sort of like quasi-gay relationship.

That is my literally my only talent.

And you're very good at it.

Don't dream of dating, like, oh, I'm going to be the president because your last name isn't Kennedy or something like that.

I just didn't want it to ring.

What's it?

Oh, I didn't want it to ring while you were talking.

You didn't want what to ring.

Oh, that good.

No, no.

You shouldn't have any dreams at all.

You used to be wide awake at all times.

We need to be like the end of the year.

I got to make the most of it.

Or fend off death.

I swear to God.

Did that answer your question about what a shared universe is?

Sure.

Yeah, small dreams.

Does everybody have an idea of what a shared universe is?

No, but we're a podcast studio.

We actually,

we opened it up for, and we opened the space up.

It's

our ultimate man cave.

We've got a whole bunch of nerdy crap on the walls.

and we're like, why not share this with other people?

And people come in, they respond very well to, you know, that external stimuli.

Go ahead, Brian.

There you go.

Oh, what can I add to that?

Well, since they're doing a shared universe, what are you doing with your time, Brian, besides enjoying corn all across 50 states?

These guys, they blew up and they forgot where they came from.

That's exactly what you're doing.

That's what you got to do.

You got to keep it down to.

You got to keep it real, and I excel at that.

I'm good at making fun of my friends and keeping it real.

Those are two things most important in life.

No, I still do the podcast with my friend Walt, who's in a comic book man, and Brian Quinn, who's on Impractical Jokers.

We do Tom Steve Day from the store still at a poker table that is so raggedy.

It's not nice, so it's not leather.

It's like this thin plastic, like leather.

feather stuff that peels off and like scratches your arms and shit.

It's painful.

Week after week.

I don't know why we can't get a new parking table.

We just don't.

So, yeah, that's what I would go.

Patreon.

Yeah, you guys are doing good though.

Patreon.

How many patrons are out here?

Give it all.

It's a good number, man.

And do you like it?

No.

It's amazing.

It's more fun than doing a TV show because you can do and say whatever you want.

Frank Five's rewind tobacco.

That's what we found, too.

We keep track of the fucks.

When we get to two, we definitely move it it to r-rated stuff

you can have one and not be r-rated right

it may fly out like who rates it from i'm not aware of this

movies not us but you know wait you put a podcast on somebody who rates it on or you guys rate it no the mpa ratings to be npa r-rated you can have or pg15 oh and the movie in the movies as it applies to the movies it's the joke everybody okay i get what you were saying at first i thought there was some rule that if it was cursed on, like, you had to put out explicit or something.

I think there is.

Is there free room?

Is there a podcast random?

I mean, you guys.

You don't have to.

You can do it if you want.

You can.

Yeah.

You don't want people to listen to you.

How thrilling is this pattern?

I know, talk about like buildings that we weren't really paying for.

Buildings, you're like, we could never afford that.

Yeah.

Come on, moderators.

You're asking.

I'm sorry.

You want to moderate so badly?

You're up to.

Alright, so with the shared universe, I was checking you guys out.

Holy shit.

How much did you guys read that?

There is no possible

second question about the shared universe.

There's no moderators and there's just no follow-up to that.

This is going to be sad to know.

Sometimes like, sometimes, I smoke a lot of weed and sometimes I'm like, is this real?

This might not be real.

Can you please tell me if this is real?

Oh, my God.

You should ask one of the people, the real people out in there, because I think these guys are figments of your imagination.

I'm like, this is like flat ear shit, man.

No, Ming's running back and forth between two chairs.

Wow.

At break next week.

How high are you right now?

Not even.

Oh, really?

spoken by.

I should be hired at a little shared universe quick.

And it's a fine studio, don't get me wrong.

Their internet's a little spotty.

But the rest of the studio is really nice.

It makes me wish that Walfinagism wasn't so goddamn cheap so we could have one.

But yeah, I can't.

Go on.

I want to hear the second shared universe question.

I reached the second one.

I don't know how many more are going to follow.

Actually, I'm not hearing that.

I'm not talking about it anymore.

There is absolutely nothing that can.

Anybody who asks a question, it has to be shared university.

Otherwise, we're not going to follow up.

Everyone can ask

your question, sir.

Terrible.

So I noticed that you guys are also teaching people how to podcast

and charging, you know, X amount to come into your studio and learn how to do it.

Have you noticed that, like, have you trained anybody or set anybody up and actually seen them a year or two ago?

Who are their success stories is what you're asking.

One search.

Go on.

Yes, we have.

Yes, we have.

I mean, this all started because people would come up to us at Kaz, like, hey, we listen to your podcast.

We want to start one.

How do we start one?

And we would give them like a 10-minute lesson, and it wasn't enough.

I'm like, what if we had a place where we could teach like a legit two-hour class where we teach all the technology,

and how to set up an episode?

And then for the second hour, we would actually record a podcast.

That way they would have something to take home at the end of the class.

And yeah, we could.

We instead of our memorial tote bag.

So yeah.

Yeah, we've uh and then, you know, it would be good for our business'cause they we'd like you got to come back every week and record now.

And uh and they'd

we're like pushers.

We're

come back.

Yeah, well you know, it's a it's addicting.

It's fun.

It's fun.

And uh so they've come back every week.

We uh we just had one that just celebrated their one year anniversary.

And rather than just tell everyone, hey, we'll celebrate our one year anniversary, they threw this whole live show with like bands and comedians and like it was a it was a whole uh big deal deal up in the next town over.

And I was like, wow, man, it was cool.

It was cool to see something that we started.

We've done that a couple times with that.

Was the molletcast, the other one was calling the shots.

You're not writing these down.

You should be

doing right now.

Subscribe.

You've got the freaking app on your phone.

I'm not even kidding around.

Rather than have you guys teach my kid podcasting, I would have a registered sex offender teach them in school.

I'm not even kidding around.

What would a subject matter be?

I don't care.

We can make that happen, Brian.

We can have more registration.

We know some people, so.

This Jersey is shitty that hard.

No, it's not.

I think basically what it boiled down is like, we have so much fun podcasting.

I'm sure you guys have a lot of fun.

They have a ton of fun podcasting.

Can we teach other people how much fun this is?

And we've done.

We did do a Brian Johnson addendum to our podcast class where it was like, number one, rule number one is get high before you podcast.

So it's it's just it's advice.

It's not, you don't have to do it.

I'm looking at you, sir.

You're like licking your lips, like, I'm gonna

get high before I podcast.

That's fun now.

I can't believe this, but I also have a shared universe question now.

No.

By the way, sir, question.

Has anyone come in where you guys have like done your whole podcasting thing and then you set them up and they do it?

And you have both felt like, no way, nobody's going to care about these guys.

They're talentless.

They've got no chance.

We still take their money.

I mean, come on.

We're a business man.

We shouldn't take their money because that would be taking away their dream.

Of course.

We know that Brian Johnson says, dream big.

We have a guy that we all use.

He does all our framing.

He frames all our artwork and stuff.

He came down and was like, I want to do a podcast.

I'm like, great, about what?

It's like, about framing.

I'm like, really?

You want to talk about framing?

He's like, yeah, man.

Look out, Joe Rogan.

Kevin Smith, like, dang, you got nothing to help me.

I'm like,

all right, let's do a podcast about framing.

Did you listen to it?

Yeah, no, I did it with him.

I did it with him.

It's actually not

a bonus.

Are there extra episodes?

That's like 10 minutes on a month.

The Stuart episode.

No, no, he would go.

He went like an hour.

I think it wasn't even about how to frame anything.

He was talking about the stuff that came in.

It was really cool.

He was talking about, yeah, this is

a signed picture of Joe Frazier, and he talked about

that does sound cool.

I wasn't sure where I was going, and I'm like, okay.

But I would listen to, like, if he was talking about framing someone for a crime he committed me.

Right, I would listen to it.

That's your podcast, man.

But he would, I guess, I didn't know Walt is down there alive at the framing place, so he would spend half the episode telling me about all this stuff Walt brought down there.

I think

you brought stuff down to him now too.

Now

you know how many listeners he has, right?

Like you can tell.

Yeah, it's not.

It's a very niche market.

Please tell me your server didn't crush.

Oh, no.

Yeah, it almost did.

It almost did from all the downloads.

How many people listen to the framing plan?

You know, a couple hundred.

It's not bad.

God, no worries.

Those are Russian bots.

Anyway, hundreds of people listen to a dude talk about framing this stuff.

We didn't say they listened to it, but we didn't say they downloaded it.

We don't promise fans, folks.

We just promise results.

But that just goes to prove.

There's a podcast about everything, about Dying Yoran, about framing pictures.

Anybody can start it.

So hopefully that podcast.

But

should anyone start it, me?

Be honest.

Should anyone start it?

I don't care.

Anyone can.

Right.

Should anyone.

Should everyone have a podcast?

I'm not going to stop anyone from podcasting, especially if they come in and do it at our studio.

You can't stop yourself.

That's true.

Well, you know I can't stop myself, so.

Who are your guys' favorite podcasters?

You.

Yeah, the two dads.

Comic dads?

What was that?

Comic Dads, yeah, no.

Podcast I listened to.

Do you listen to other podcasts?

You spend so much time splitting on other ones, I didn't know if you listened to it.

I listen to your guys as much as I can.

You know I do because I reference things with that.

No, yeah.

Well, you gotta, you get, you need fun.

You need something to make fun of.

So, I appreciate thank you for adding Dorian.

I used to listen to Sword and Scale.

Did anybody used to listen to Sword and Scale?

No one, if you go back,

there's Sword and Scale, this guy, Mike Boudet.

It's a really, really good crime, like true crime

podcast, but just recently he had this weird meltdown where he caught someone with a C-word on Twitter.

It's strange.

He did that before you did?

Yeah.

Wow.

I mean, I do that IRL, as the kids say.

Right on.

Right on the side.

Twitter where you can.

Twitter where someone can prove it.

Yeah, like it's free.

No,

it made no sense.

And it totally, I guess it killed the guy's career because they had somebody else take over.

But those early episodes of Swords and Scale are really good.

I really don't.

This is more than audiobooks, I'm sure.

I can't find podcasts.

Because every time you go to the iTunes store and you look for a podcast, it always says 4.5 stars.

Sure.

And I'm like, but why?

Why didn't it get five?

What is it in that?

It's that one half star rating.

That's a star.

No one.

How many stars tell Steve Dave have?

Come on.

Do you really need that?

Yeah, you're going to get five stars?

Of course.

Nice.

Nice.

All right.

You can't really trust.

Yeah, you're not stupid enough to get fucking trusted.

I don't know if you can trust those skills.

I think I sell comics that's five stars, too.

I love it.

Oh, my God.

Yeah, if we did.

You're screwed.

I like Chris Hardwick.

I like his just very laid-back interviewing style.

Like, he doesn't even do an intro.

Like, you literally hear the person coming in through the door and they just sit down and they just start talking and i like like that counts as a podcast oh bill burrito

yeah this young lady in the front row talks as soon as things start um talking you yawned so i was like wow

oh my goodness nothing new about that all right

are they bored by night

no

be honest you have your child sitting right there he's not in my music

he's got headphones in so you're saying it's okay to lie

As long as there's no one listening, it would be irrelevant if you were telling the truth.

I don't think I ever claimed to be interesting, though.

You are interesting.

The show that Ming was talking about,

where you're the one-year anniversary celebration.

I'm not even kidding.

If Ming wasn't there, it would have been completely unlistenable.

Like, Ming saved it.

If you can believe it, Ming saved the podcast.

He saved the life.

Is that the most crazy you've ever gotten from Brian in a moment?

Every so often you get every so often.

Yeah, but you were there too.

They invited him, and he came, but he was like, What is this?

Where am I?

I didn't know where you were.

It was something totally different until like 10 seconds before I went on stage.

I'm like, wait, this isn't this other podcast?

I don't know what you think.

If you want to ask Brian anything,

Brian, do me a favor, make sure he's high first because that's how we got Trickling 20.

That's not true.

I'd say pink killers as well.

It's a whole cocktail.

I listen to Harmontown.

Dan Harmon is pretty interesting.

Just

you see his psychoses like right on view.

Adam Ruins Everything, the podcast to the TV show, that's pretty cool.

And

damn it,

The Flophouse,

they review a bad movie.

It's three guys, two writers from The Daily Show and a bartender, which I think is most interesting.

Sounds like a good combination.

Oh, yeah.

I think you wanted to ask how many of the podcasts are on a shared universe.

No, you, the girl with the black shirt in the front row, yeah, you.

I can see your face.

You wanted to ask them how many of the shared universe podcasts do you guys listen to since they're so goddamn great.

We have to listen to them all because we edit them, and it's like.

Do you?

Okay.

Do I?

Your hired hands edit them because they have hired hands.

Yeah, we've got employees.

Can you believe it?

Yeah, I'm an employee.

You've met them.

We're legit.

There's no way you guys rather do those podcasts.

I had most of them.

Do you?

Yeah.

Yeah.

I believe that.

Do you believe that?

Okay, noted.

Ming gave you a deal on that hat, didn't he?

I know.

Yes.

Chinese, they boot like a lot of shit, right?

I have a hard time believing the AMC signed off on that hat.

They did not.

So my casual misogynism is really bad, but your casual racism is...

Okay.

Alright.

I was contributing to a global black market.

Congratulations, young lady.

Why is something bigger than you?

Because the demand for legit cowardly bent hats is like

over the moon.

Starter has not contacted us?

No one knows.

Is that still a popular brand?

Starter?

Starter?

Starter Jack like that.

Starter triple fat goose, like

Kangle.

Kangle.

Yeah.

Kangle's still out there.

Yeah, it's on.

So, me,

as kind of a technology guy

that's ran since, you know, message boards to now,

how abreast do you need to keep of new technology?

How much do you have out there?

Like, keeping your ear to the ground, finding new wavelengths to get the podcast out, and news.

I mean,

I keep up.

I mean, I just like, I mean, that's why I gotta do all these cons.

I need all this money to buy all this gear and stuff.

And then these guys, whenever their stuff breaks, like, bing, my email doesn't work.

Like, you come help me.

And yeah, I'm always messing with stuff.

How do I get all these images off my hard drive?

Yeah, yeah, right.

We have guys have another idea.

Yeah,

I can't be caught with these.

I'm like, I don't, I don't.

You're never going to believe it's just art.

How do I get these images off my hard drive and onto Brian's?

Yeah, I think the funniest are when Kevin is always breaking stuff, so he's always like, hey, I need this fixed.

And, you know, like, my email doesn't work, my iPhone wasn't working.

And then I saw that diehard movie where he plays a hacker called like the Warlock.

He's like the ultimate hacker.

And I'm looking at that movie and I'm just remembering in the back of my head like when he couldn't

go in the theater.

Yeah, I didn't know that guy.

Yeah, when he was like, yeah, like he couldn't get his voicemail to open and his iPhone.

So, what apps or what technology, if you've got people who are starting a podcast and all us on the West Coast, we can't exactly hop over to Jersey to come share.

Just jump on the damn plane.

Come on, that's technology, right?

Yeah, no, we started doing remote classes on Skype now, too, which is so like

anybody can

drink from our fountain of knowledge.

But

is this like a technology?

are the apps or what programs or technology might be?

Nobody here gives a shit.

Seriously, I can.

You volunteered to moderate this just so you can get our class for freaking free.

I might send him a bill.

Get that

bill.

Why don't you moderate ourselves, for God's sake?

Good job, Amy.

You're going to work with us again.

I don't think we're working with you now.

Let someone ask a question.

Yell it out.

Is it okay to tell you my favorite geek thing that happened to a comic book character?

Your favorite geek thing that happened to a comic book character.

Okay.

I was podcasting that I shared.

Move up.

Move up.

Move up.

I was scared to death of aliens as a kid.

And my favorite.

Illegal aliens or like fans kids?

Yeah, which kind of kind of alien?

Okay, he doesn't make the distinction.

I tried to ask Stan Lee this question once, and his hearing was too bad to answer it properly.

Well, maybe you guys can get it, okay?

My favorite, okay, when I was a kid, the thing that scared the hell out of me was aliens because close encounters with return and all that stuff.

How old were you when that movie came out?

40.

Yeah.

How old are you, bro?

51.

You're supposed to be the same age as me.

Yeah.

Yeah, yeah.

So you're 10 or 11?

You got all your hair on it.

Alright.

And then some, yeah.

Alright, I'll give it to you.

Continue.

Okay, here's what I love.

Whenever aliens would

attempt to abduct the incredible Hulk and they had him on a table and they started to do experiments, I loved it when he would completely trash their ship and it would crash back to Earth and he block away from the flames.

I thought you were going to go someplace darker.

Yeah, like a total dark shark.

I really loved it when They pulled out the old jackhammer.

Well, they have those.

You know,

who's gonna say that, you know, there are a couple of,

you know, there are professional women.

There are certain adult items.

Yes.

Superhero, like a model-down superhero, and the Hulk one is

substantial.

So maybe you want to pick one of those up.

So you used to like this

Hulk.

The Hulk making a a spaceship crash.

Because then you felt like, okay, now it's safe.

Yeah.

The aliens are dead, but there is this guy, radiated, like, out of control creature running around.

I'd rather have it.

If you'd rather get killed by some Euroxenophobe.

I'd rather have the Hulk kill me.

Would you rather be crushed to death by the Hulk or probed to death by a

I I feel like I'd have a fighting chance with the Hulk with the aliens with actually

you'd have

as me against Carl Weather.

I'm a real Hulk beef here.

If you're nice, sometimes you'd say Hulk Friend, but the aliens would just involuntarily force me to reproduce with them.

Involuntarily.

Sure.

This sounds more like a memory than like a fear.

You know this is in your psychiatrist office, right?

Right, it's a Comcom pat ball.

And I'm judging the shit out of you right now, Bal.

Sure University Psychiatric Offices.

Yeah.

Dang.

You guys should start that.

You guys have done so much better with this than Stan Lee did.

He couldn't even hear what I was doing.

Well, he was senile and being beaten by his handlers.

And to be honest with you, I think he was ignoring you.

He was.

I'm not saying anything that wasn't true.

Remember how early I called it?

Yeah, we did call that.

You did.

Yeah, you did.

He knew that that was coming.

You did.

Who's got another question?

Yeah, right here.

Actually, this gentleman right here.

So speaking of Stanley and comic book men, and now that he's gone, what did he say to you when you got in the vehicle together?

Mike and I were talking about this and how it's not very complimentary to someone on the show.

Not like main people, it was

a kid that was on the show.

So it's better probably if I don't say that exactly.

I did ask him, like, does it just get super tiring of being the ambassador to comics where people come up to you and try to talk to you about Hulk and aliens and shit like that?

I usually just play like I'm deaf.

And he was like, he was sort of like,

ah, you know, I do what they pay me to do.

Yeah.

So I think, like anyone else, Stan was just a guy who sometimes was like, enough with the f.

The other thing, yeah, he like sort of cuneed on a certain kid's talent, I guess you could say.

Okay, I thought it was funny.

If you could get a couple more episodes to get to 100 for Comic Bookman, do you have any ideas of what you would do for the episodes?

We may.

We may have some episodes.

Really?

We're not saying that we do, but we're not saying that we have to do that.

We're not saying it's definitely happening if you're on Patreon.

Yeah, very recently, though,

all four of us took a road trip from New Jersey to New Orleans to shoot a Dan Kevin's new movie.

And while we were going down there, I was like, man, this would have made a hell of an episode.

Us taking a road trip down to New Orleans, like shooting on Ginzalma Reboot, and then coming, and then making the trip back.

Well, we got some good footage and some good audio from that side.

You'll be hearing that on Patreon.

Awesome.

Where was it?

Tennessee?

Did we go from Tennessee?

Yes, New Water, Tennessee, Flea Market, Tennessee.

And I guess in Tennessee, if you have a Flea Market stall, it's a law that you have to have something with the Confederate flag.

Yes.

It's a lot of some flags.

At least one.

It was crazy how many Confederate flags, and I'm talking a hat and then bandanas, but then they had these big rubs.

Like as big as this.

Like as big as this.

Huge.

Like some had these cheesy-looking Asian tiger type designs.

But then every one of them, like Confederate flagships.

It was really weird.

And the one with the cheesy Chinese tiger and the Confederate flag, I mean, that was really good odds.

I was really amazed at that one.

How many restaurants did you make Ming at?

Or how many did he demand?

Which is your question.

I think either or us.

The number is very.

That was fun.

I mean, I always like leaving the store whenever we shot an episode.

But we never really got to take a long road trip like that, so I thought that would have been fun.

Well, we were out in Everett, Washington.

We were out at Co headquarters, and that was a lot of fun.

That was a great weekend.

We were in town for 36 hours.

This is as good as a place as any to rebuild this.

Hold on, let me start recording first.

I never told you that exist.

I know.

Washington State Semicon exclusive.

Oh my god.

Let me see.

So we took a trip down to

New Orleans.

God damn it.

You are like that.

My interest in technology went out with the rotary phones.

So, yeah, we went down, because Walt Flanagan won't fly.

If you're unfamiliar with Walt, he's a chicken shit.

He will not fly.

He won't get in a plane for any reason.

So when we had to do Kevin's movie down in New Orleans, obviously we have to drive.

Now, first, like, I had rented an SUV, and then Mike was like, no, no, no, I got a van.

Which I assumed was a minivan, and I guess you assumed it was a minivan.

And then it turned out to be like almost a bus.

We had an 18-person van, and we're not transporting, you know, felons or anything with us.

We haven't made a call of a road crew that's cleaning up.

It was huge and unwieldy and a real pain in the ass.

But we all drove down there and drove back.

But prior to that,

I'll always drive with Walt, even though I don't want to.

I'm 50-line, like it hurts.

It literally hurts now to take a road trip, get out of your knees, are all screwed up.

So I asked Jordan, I said, when we go down there, me and Walt want to record some Patreon stuff, so can you tell Mike and Ming that they also have to drive?

And the truth is, you guys could have flown, but I asked them to tell you that you'd like to drive with us.

Yeah, because you did.

I was like, this is weird.

Why do we have to drive down with you?

But the weird thing is that I had volunteered to drive anyway.

Because I knew Ming wouldn't, because Ming's a busy guy.

But I'm like, we want all four of us.

So she just tells them they have to drive, they won't question it.

So you're recording this.

So I took a couple of days on either end out of your life.

That was some of the most fun we've had in.

It was really the Archie Glad?

Yeah, I'm glad you tricked me up.

But to be honest,

you thought it was going to be bad?

No, I volunteered to go down anyway because.

We were not talking about you and Ning while we were driving.

What was your favorite spot you stopped at for your trip?

Was it a shared universe?

The flea market was fun.

Yeah, we also...

It was pretty fun, though.

We almost left without Ning.

Yeah.

We also tried to go to Six Flags Over New Orleans.

You know, it's the

theme park that got killed by Katrina and shut down, and they were going to reopen it, then they didn't, and it's falling to pieces.

It looks like a dystopian amusement park that they are so careful to guard.

Like, you could go to an open amusement park that is not as heavily guarded as this.

Yeah, they really don't want you to go in.

It was nuts because we showed up, and there's a guy who

had to be like 85.

He was a real old dude in the twilight years of his life,

repeatedly telling people, you cannot go in there, you can't take pictures of it, go away.

And people just don't listen to him.

They don't listen to him.

So he calls, like, he gets on his phone and he calls a cop.

A cop showed up.

But the cop shows up in a brand new Corvette.

He's really weird.

And he gets out and he's like, you guys got to go.

So how many times that cop goes there per day?

Because the regular security guard is like the flassy cock of security guards.

Completely admit.

No one listens to him.

Like, ladies, do you respect Pat that shows up?

And they're like, what do you think of this?

And it's like, well, you know, can you do something with it?

That's it.

That's the security.

All right?

That was the best case scenario.

I would rather be like a greeter at Walmart at 85 than being the guy that people are like, fuck you, Booger.

Yeah, but while we were there, other people started pulling up too.

So this is, you know, this is a thing.

And the really funny thing is that the people who pulled up, they're like, oh, look, it's a comic book guy.

Can we take pictures?

And the guy's like, you can't take pictures.

You can't take pictures of shit here.

Well, Walt made a joke.

Walt made a joke to the security guard.

He's like, he's not taking pictures of them.

He's taking pictures of us.

Just like screwing around.

And then they were like, we know who you are.

And then they wanted pictures of us.

The only thing that matters, the security guard was completely unimpressed that we still didn't get in.

So I'm thinking the guy who pulled up in the Corvette paid for it by, you know, every time he showed up, he got like 20 bucks.

So four or five hundred times a day, he's paying for that vet in a week and a half.

What's your biggest dream?

Like, what do you want to do?

What can Brian crap on for you?

What's going to set you straight?

Let's say you're McDonald.

You're big in like that now.

People are like, What are you going to do when you grow up?

I was going to be like an animator, but no, you're not.

You're going to be an animator.

But now what?

No, no.

No, what are you settling for?

Mrs.

Brian Johnson?

Oh, that would be horrible.

Now when you have to wait like eight, ten years in New Jersey school.

He's really good at science or maybe mild.

Girls aren't good at science or math.

Are you still recording?

I'm always sorry.

The only girls who are good at math are Asian girls.

Everyone knows that.

You're not straight at it, you're lying.

Are you gonna dance a mom who drives around with the buffer sticker?

And yeah, she's straight A.

That's awesome.

Do you fiddle with them?

You know, I can make this D into an A.

Good girl.

I like that.

Really good.

Yeah, she's a brainy.

So forgery, huh?

That's what you're going to be doing?

Forging stuff?

Hope Alina.

Does anybody else have some questions for

you?

And make fun of you.

Yeah, like if you're using it.

Right over here.

Hi.

How are you?

Do you really want to ask your question, Anne?

So I want to know what's the weirdest thing that's ever been stolen from somebody at the store and you caught them with it.

Oh.

Mike, wasn't there an incident with a Batman ring?

Yeah,

someone stole a Batman ring.

It's not really an excellent story.

It kind of sucks.

And we stole a Batman ring.

It was worth like $100.

And

they got away with it, right?

And they got away with it, yeah.

Well, they didn't just get away with it, they tried to sell it back to us.

They did try to sell it,

and Mike knew it was the ring, and he didn't do anything about it.

Yeah, and Walt found out, he's like, Why didn't you stop that?

Okay, you brought the ring back.

No, Walt could have had it.

He's like, Do you have the ring?

I'm like, No, I thought you had the ring.

And he's like, Neither of us had the ring, and he was pissed off of me for like the next two weeks.

What am I gonna do?

Tell the kid that, you know, we can't let you leave the store?

Yeah, like you can't, no, detain them in New Jersey.

Like, Like, why don't you just grab a child and drag him into the back rooms?

That's not in my job description.

Maybe his, not mine.

Like, really, you don't give a shit about the ring.

Nobody's going to buy anyway.

Exactly.

So we're going to go to the bathroom.

How did you know they're in a store?

Because there was a box that said Batman ring, and there was no ring inside the box.

Okay, when that happened, did Walt blame you for the theft?

No, he couldn't be.

He blamed, he's like, what the hell?

That's when we got locks for our display cabinets.

Because it took us a while to catch on to that.

You know, if you lock up your doors, people aren't going to steal stuff from you or make it a little bit more difficult.

Okay, then how long before that did it?

Was it the same kid that brought it back to try to sell it?

I have no idea.

We didn't see the kid.

Mike was cowering under the counter.

How would you know?

It's a criminal.

But like a couple weeks later, someone brings back the ring.

No one brings back the ring, those chips.

Well, so weeks, no, it was like two years later.

I mean, this is a long time.

Yeah, it was like two years later.

It's like, holy crap.

Did you try to sell it everywhere else, but here the police just stole it from?

All right, two years go by, and someone tried to sell the ring.

At what point did you suspect this might be the stolen ring?

The fact that it was a Batman ring, and someone stole it from our store.

I mean, it doesn't take the world's greatest detective.

Right.

Well, what if, because you didn't do anything about it?

Well, I thought Walt had the ring.

Walt thought I had the ring.

The kid had the ring, and he ran out of the store.

So there you go, picked in less crime, folks.

What do you think?

Maybe you're right, Mick.

He returned to the scene of the crime.

He's like, buy this.

I mean, Mike's like, all right.

Yeah,

I didn't buy it.

I actually called up Walt.

I'm like, hey, what do you think?

And

he's like, I think that's

the best one.

That's true.

Yeah, Walt Flynn.

Mike, you should have, because

I can't get into any trouble.

How many other steps

have you let people get away with at the store?

None.

Actually, yeah, really.

He's like a co-conspirator, practically.

Yeah, because I got 50 bucks for that ring.

It was great.

The kid and I split the proceeds.

Is there ever anything that you guys wish would come to the store?

Like something from the store.

Or wish we could get stolen from the store?

I wish you'd get stolen from the store, but like something from your childhood that you're like, if this wants to store, I'm buying it.

I mean, you guys occasionally would buy something for your own personal collection.

Love from my parents?

I don't sell that for you.

Is that for sale?

I would buy that.

My parents didn't care for me.

I guess yours don't either, since you're here with your aunt.

I used to get shuffled off in relics, too.

We did get not even blood relatives.

This is your uncle.

A series of uncles.

Yeah, you guys get dragged into this panel, though, so I don't know.

I got dragged into the panel.

You got dragged into the panel.

I'm the driver.

She don't drive.

Okay.

She doesn't drive.

Do you?

You're a retired truck driver?

Like Large Marge from Pee-Wee?

Like Pee-Wee Herman?

I don't know who you are.

You don't know who I'm talking about.

Marge Marge is awesome.

He's a truck driver in Peewee Herman.

Large Marge's big adventure.

Peewee's big adventure now.

You're like, look at me.

I don't watch Pee-Wee Herman.

It's a goal with a substantial man.

It's literally my only female truck driver reference.

I'm sorry, I got Large March back to that.

I'm on him, too.

I don't know who that is.

All right, look up, Google it, right?

You have Google?

Okay.

Yeah, Google it.

Yeah, you're good with science.

Does anybody else have any questions?

Do you have a question?

She's got a question.

Oh, she's adorable.

Blast, Brian.

What is your favorite superheroes?

Aw, that's a Brian, why don't you take this one?

I got your answer.

Do kids still watch Spongebob?

Merbing Man Barnacle Boy, that's a lot.

Yeah.

Aww.

Go on now.

Oh, how can I top those two?

That's impossible.

I'm a big Nightwing fan.

Do you like Nightwing?

Disgrace.

Yeah, yeah.

I'm like, no.

You're struck out, Mike.

Fair enough.

And how about Cyclops?

You like Cyclops from the X-Men?

Sure, you do.

Why not?

Dad seems to be shaking his head, so that's awesome.

What about you, man?

Try to outdo me.

I can't outdo you.

I like Hawkeye.

I like the color purple a lot.

So, like, is it the movie or the actual color?

What's that?

The movie or the color.

Do you remember what the Oprah colour?

Your big old panties.

I just remember that.

Yeah.

Kiss Whippy Goldberg.

Although I noticed, like, anytime they make a child-sized adventure shirt, they always leave off Black Widow and Hawkeye because there's not enough room on the shirt.

So they just have the

Don't wear a child-size shirt.

I think he's like, well, they won't beat him after a dozen.

Ryan Johnson, everywhere.

Ryan Johnson.

Came all the way from New Jersey to tell us.

You didn't know we were going balloon, did you, folks?

I've got to make it worth the trip.

Nobody's coming to our booth.

Nobody loves us anymore.

Do you have questions?

Yes, from last year.

The mega Jedi.

So,

I can save those one late.

Okay.

Anyway.

You waited a whole year?

No, no.

You're going to be so disappointed.

I met him two years ago.

I grew up city of a comic comic.

Yes.

Portland, Oregon, yes.

All right.

Wait,

the comic questions.

All right.

I'm sorry.

All right.

What has been the most bizarre

comics that you guys have ever seen come to the store or that you have ever read?

Since I do a lot of collection of films, bizarre, if you want bizarre comics, Robin Williams.

Comic books.

Comic books, Brian Williams.

Robin Henness.

Have you guys watched that TV show, The Jersey Shore?

Kind of like the opposite comic book men where they make Jersey look really good.

Yeah,

viewers.

The guy, that guy, Mike, The Situation, he came out with the comic book miniseries once called The Situation.

And

by day, he would go in gym 10 laundry.

By night, he would turn into a comic book superhero called The Situation.

It was, what, four issues?

Four or six issues?

I have no idea.

I think we had one issue, and Walt was like, fuck this noise.

I came in the store one day and I saw it on the rack.

I'm like, I did a double take.

I was like, The Situation came out with the comic book before I did it?

Or Mike?

Or any of us?

And I was like, this is weird.

I was like,

why did you order that?

Because you had to order it in order to get it on the shelf.

That was Walt Flanagan all the time.

Walt ordered the Situation comic book?

He did.

It stayed out there for like two years.

And then you picked it up.

I did.

But a week later, I think his reps called the story like the Situation would like to do a signing.

Jane Sopbox is the staff.

Oh, my God.

How could you not?

And why you guys didn't do it?

How could you not do that?

Why people didn't do it?

Walt Flanagan does not do any signings except for the ones going to be able to do that.

Kevin Smithy Kevin Swab, which are mostly the Kevin signs.

Oh my god, that would have been great.

And I think that would probably be the worst comic I ever read.

Actually, mine is

Hansi, the girl who loved the swastika.

Dude, I didn't write it.

You read it.

So what?

I read a lot of stuff.

Honestly, I think reading the situations comic is more offensive than you thought.

I mean, it's not like Auntie, the girl who loved the situation.

I agree.

I will do.

The new is smarter.

I think she's swell.

Next?

Yeah, she's from New Jersey.

You want to get me going on that.

Yeah, well,

we like Kamala Come.

Yeah, she's awesome.

Yeah.

Thanks, man.

We got time for one more question.

Oh, man.

Oh, that guy had his hand up.

So

how long do we have?

Do we have

next?

And do we care?

And can we bump them?

Hey, Ryan.

Who's giving us the highest handle?

Is it John Assenberger?

Is it anybody else?

I don't believe it.

It's the Overwatch people.

They might be able to take a look.

Oh,

Overwatch.

What is that?

Overwatch video game.

They might be able to take you to the video game.

Hi, my name is Scott Summers.

Oh, nice.

It's Scott.

Come on.

Let's go to some of the Summers manual.

Yeah, your question is over.

Anyway, so.

You expected more from me?

No,

I expect nothing.

I'm happy to be here.

Thank you, sir.

Excellent.

Do you guys know

how

it is?

You give up.

I helped y'all.

The real last question.

Yes, sir.

Your question.

Some of the most fun listening to Tom and Steve Davis, the competitions you guys do against ISO Comics, specifically the one through three Lu Juice game.

Are you guys going to do another one of those and defend your title?

Who lost?

Who won?

England?

You won, man.

Yeah, you're looking at a champion right here.

I'm going to say one thing.

We all threw an update for that.

And just,

and I want all of the competitors who were there, especially you, since I think Walt Front did get the $100.

I remember it was nothing.

Yeah.

So anyway,

winner-take-all, and it was $1,000.

I was going to give everybody their $100 back.

Ming went out and had one dinner.

He's like, I'm going to go out and have a thousand dollar dinner.

That's what you should have, right?

Yeah, one, bitch.

Still me, because he made a grant for food.

So, I like food.

We actually just did a competition.

It was me versus Gidden and Sun.

Oh, that's a clash of the Titans.

For who's the manliest man contest.

I don't know.

How did that end up?

Yeah, Walt asked Troy to.

Yeah, I can't tell you how it ends up because it's on our Patreon thing.

People pay and want to give it away.

But I think Walt's like, if we're going to do that kind of stuff, he wants to lean more towards

not breaking our balls and do it for free anymore because it just costs too much.

But yeah, sign up, man.

Don't sit down there cheap.

I am.

So you'll see it.

Then you go up and tear them.

Did you guys really have to put that to a competition?

We did, but look.

Look at you.

That's Sunday jumping.

I do.

That's what I'm asking.

These guys are just like they sweat testosterone.

Right.

Well, they sweat.

Pizza grease.

Right.

All right, ladies and gentlemen, let's give them a big round of applause.

Say nobody.

Thank you.

Let's talk to everybody.