#408: Activate Baby Mode

It's all a bravado, it's a facade

because I'm so feminine.

I'm the gay friend that

I think we all have major parent issues, right?

Nah, me.

Tell them Steve Dave.

Hello, and welcome to this week's edition of Tell'em Steve Dave,

where we're recording this shared universe.

Home of the trucker hat.

Yes.

Yes.

How do I get one of those hats?

I'll ask Mike.

There's a pile of them right there.

Just take one.

How do you like it, the trucker hat, Walt?

I love the trucker hat.

It hasn't seen its day.

I remember when I was out in

when we lived out together in LA.

Yeah, and it was always cocked to the side a little bit.

Well, you know that we sent out trucker hats to one of the tiers for the TSD Patreon.

I don't because I never get this cool stuff.

Like, I'm lucky if I get some of this shit once in a while.

I didn't think you'd wear a trucker hat, though.

What's on the hat?

Well, it's coming back.

The TSD in a flash logo.

Oh, I want that.

How do we get that?

I'll get you one.

I'll get you one.

Yeah, I have a sweatshirt coming, I thought.

I got all kinds of stuff.

Sometimes paying customers, Trump,

Trump, you guys.

That's not how we built this.

So

Q helped me the other day.

I didn't off a ledge.

No, no.

A conversation we had had like two weeks earlier, maybe three weeks earlier, when we were talking about...

Because if I get into it with somebody, I immediately like, you know, get angry.

Go for it.

Get angry And just go for it.

And the other day I'm at Red Bank pharmacy, that family pharmacy, and I'm backing up a little bit, right?

I'm in my car.

I'm in the parking lot.

I'm backing up a little bit.

There's like this van right to the side of me.

So I can't really see around it, but I'm going really slowly.

And I pull out, and there's like a guy, probably like 10 years older than me, with like just sitting in his truck, like mean-mugging me.

So I pull out the rest of the way, and he's out of his truck by now, and he's like, why don't you watch where where you're going?

And that alone is like, Well, why don't you?

I was.

That's the thing.

I was watching.

It's not like I raced out at fucking 40 miles an hour.

I was watching.

So I don't even know what he means.

And

I rolled down the window and I was

because I can't stand when people get overly upset with you if you like fuck up in a parking lot or something because everyone does it.

Yeah.

But everyone acts like they've never done it right and that was my that was the comment i couldn't remember before that was my first comment was like it must be amazing to have a perfect driving record across the board and he's like yeah just watch where you're going and that's what i'm like i was like go fuck yourself so you call q and i didn't call him and no it just happened that he reflected on it i reflected on the conversation we had like embracing things and running with it as opposed to just getting pissed so you're like kane yes like when he would get into an altercation as an adult, he would think back on his youth to some sage-like advice from that blind monk who told him, okay.

Accuse my blind monk, and instead of my childhood, it was like two weeks earlier.

And I almost didn't remember.

So what was the advice?

Well, the advice was like, just like roll with this situation where, like, if you're getting bad, like the,

it stemmed from the Ulta thing, where the girl was like repeatedly asking me for my phone number.

And we decided next time if that happens, I'm just like, I'm just going to.

And I found out there's a term for it called sea lioning.

It's basically like in real life

trolling, sea lioning.

Sea lioning.

Yeah.

I never heard of it before.

Yeah.

So you're kind of trolling people in real life.

And I'm like, I like the idea of that.

Yeah.

Because you.

You haven't seen, you haven't noticed the last 10 years of Tome Steve, Dave?

No.

Someone's been sea-lioning the

mesa.

Cue

all of of you

but

in the moment with this old guy and he's like pissy and just real like dismissive of me and uh and i'm in my car now with the door open so i'm like slowly rolling away from him as he's standing there giving me this shit and he's like you know just just just watch where you're going and i said why don't you just go yourself

And he's like, no, you just watch where you're going.

I said, go fuck yourself.

And then he was like, all right, well, have a nice day.

God bless.

And I was like, here's what you do.

You and God both go fuck yourself.

That is not sea line.

No, it is.

No, because I'm not mad.

I'm not mad at the time because all I'm thinking is I'm going to tell Q.

The story.

You're convincing yourself you're not mad.

I'm not mad.

I'm telling you, I wasn't mad.

I took a breath.

It's a combination of Sage and Q.

Sage is always like, dad, just breathe in, breathe out.

So like, I'll do that.

And then Q's advice of like, you know,

just like

when you run into these people,

think of yourself like as like the spider, and they've come into your web because now you could fuck with them.

They're already pissed to you, they're already fucking disrespecting you.

And where you could get angry, and where I've gotten angry, it's like, if you just make that switch of just like, a fly has flown into my web, I can now piss this guy off.

Yes, and he was in my parlor.

Yeah, exactly.

It's like it becomes an opportunity instead of

a sea lion.

Yeah.

Yeah.

I was like,

start balancing a ball and he goes

fish breath and shit.

But he didn't let what was telling him to fuck himself was fine.

But when I was like, you and God can go fuck yourself, he didn't like that too much.

And so he got annoyed.

And I have to be 50 to 75 feet away from him at this point.

And he's like, come on, take your best shot.

So now he wants to fight me.

And

I said, I'd give you my best shot, but your wife took it in her mouth last night.

It turns out if you want to get an old white guy pissed, talk about their wife blowing you, his face screwed up and got red, and he starts walking towards me.

And then I fucking, like I was just driving away, and I was like, go fuck yourself with the finger.

And he's yelling.

And I just drove away, closed the door, and all was well.

Wow.

I wasn't mad at all.

That's great.

Not mad at all.

That guy was pissed.

That guy was really mad, yeah.

And he started the encounter.

Yeah.

I did it the other day to a guy fucking driving like a bus, cut me off.

Yeah.

And

I pulled up next to him, and I don't know what he was pissing me about, but he starts screaming at me.

This kid's on the bus.

And it was a short bus, too.

And I go, and I'm like, what are you talking about?

I was like, keep going.

I go, just keep going.

I'm like, keep going.

And he starts going, he goes, he goes, you're lucky.

He goes, you're lucky these kids are on the bus.

He goes to me.

And I go, I'm lucky.

I go, am I lucky?

I was like, all right, I got it, old man.

I go, I'm lucky.

He goes, no, you really look.

I was like, I got it.

I go, I'm lucky.

He's like, I'm so lucky you can't get out.

You can see it.

And like, he's just like, because then I start laughing.

I'm like, you got it, pal.

You're lucky.

I'm lucky.

I'm lucky.

And I start doing this dismissive wave.

That's my favorite part now.

Is the like

my new move?

It's like I dismiss people.

I'm like, come on.

I'm like, I'm lucky.

I got it.

I got it.

I'm lucky.

Is there anything else?

Is there anything else aside from me being lucky?

If not, all right, we're done here.

Keep driving.

And he had no choice but to keep driving.

And you can see he's pissed, and I'm and I'm really enjoying myself.

Yeah, man.

We're living our best lives here.

Thank you.

I mean,

it's strange because last night I was pulling out onto Broad Street and somebody came out of the parking spot.

Watch where you're going.

Neither of us can see anymore.

So it's like, fuck you.

And

I kind of like beeped because I like, because they were that close to coming out right in front of me.

They didn't even look.

And it was a lady and she just gave me the finger and did the whole thing.

And I didn't even have time to react.

I mean, I didn't even have time to do my sea-lying.

She just undressed me and made, because it was nice out.

She just screamed, fuck you.

And then everybody on the street just looks over.

And I don't even have a chance to, no rebuttal.

Nothing.

I just have to be like...

Just there with your mouth hanging open.

Oh, well, I just have to drive away.

I don't even get a chance to

do a dismissive wave.

What happens on that in that instance?

How how do I won that one?

There's no way for me to win.

Oh, in that moment?

Yeah,

how do I regain all the strangers' and bystanders' respect?

You should have rammed her car.

Yeah, I don't know.

That's a tough one.

I'd ask you to get away from the city.

Well, especially

the cars.

You're a white guy.

You're going to start yelling at a lady.

You're never going to win.

Well, if you're sea-line, you shouldn't be yelling.

Oh, that's true.

Oh, if you're going to sea line her.

Yeah, that's true.

Yeah.

See, like, like, like an answer, I mean, you couldn't get, you couldn't talk to her.

No, she just, she just zoomed away after she, like,

you know, imastinated.

If you were the singer that fucking won over the crowd, that would have been good.

Like, if you addressed everybody.

Unfortunately, you got gut.

That's what happened.

You should have been like, I can't, I'm dying of age.

Like, she drives away, and then everybody will feel bad for you.

Yeah, that happened on Twitter today.

You told somebody you were dying of age?

No, somebody said, somebody made a derogatory, not a derogatory, somebody was like, I can't stand the latest episode because Walt's really fucking annoying me.

And I said, I think you misspelled Walt

and wanted to meant to write Giddem.

And then they wrote back, yeah, maybe because I was in chemo for the last eight hours.

And I'm like, oh,

so what?

I'm sorry.

I was just like,

thank God, I didn't write something more like biting than that.

Why?

Because, I mean, this is just because he's in chemo doesn't mean he has the right to come at you with a with a what a

harsh comment?

It's not Jeffrey Locke, is it?

No, but it was another listener who was on the patreon who should have the right to bitch about me if they're on the patreon.

But I took, but I went back at them and I was just like, I think, but it was good natured.

Yeah.

I was like, I think you spell Giddam

and meant to spell

Giddim instead of Walt.

And then they wrote back, well, maybe because I was in chemo for the last eight hours.

But are you reading that like, as like, well, maybe it's because I was in chemo?

Like, maybe they're like, hey, man, maybe

just because I was in chemo, I'm not at my, like, I'm not at top form.

You know, you are a genius, Walt.

I don't know what I was thinking.

I felt horrible, though.

I didn't, what?

I don't know, because I really shouldn't have, I really should have kept him.

He shouldn't even be telling you that he's in chemo.

Why?

Why is he telling you that?

Why is that in his arsenal?

What the fuck does that have to do with anything?

What has he got?

When I got sick, I didn't mention it until I was better.

You never used it as an excuse?

No.

Not even for with your friends, maybe for a while.

I don't know.

A little bit of

sympathy?

for a little nookie maybe because you're like i've been trying to get in hot pants for years i mean that's different

i'm sorry to do your wife uh but uh and you didn't even use it then you didn't even use like this may be the last time i can have

i can have healthy sex

healthy sex

it wouldn't work it didn't work

um yeah i don't i don't think you i think i think apologize to that person don't apologize

he doesn't want he doesn't want it he doesn't want it that's that's on the on the Patreon, bro.

They pay for it.

What level?

It doesn't matter.

It doesn't matter.

I should have killed you.

Well, it's got to be if it's a five, that was a $5 apology.

I don't know if you need to give a $40, $60, or $100 apology.

I'll give whatever it takes.

Well, you have this.

I could tell already you don't have it in you.

You're feeling bad.

I feel horrible.

Well, then you're not.

Then you're not going to be able to do it.

I deleted the tweet immediately, and I was like, I didn't know how to address it.

You're never going to be a successful sea lion if you feel bad about this thing.

Everybody saw that person just be like.

But he came at you.

I think it may have been a she, which is even worse.

She came at you.

Why is it worse?

It's worse.

Oh, my God.

You know it is.

It's just like a buffet of assets he's looking at.

I think it's a lot of people with what they're dealing with, and yet they're still giving us money.

And then I went back at them.

But that doesn't mean that, like, look, I don't want anybody to have cancer.

I don't know how the fuck they haven't figured it out by now.

This whole cancer thing.

How much more money?

How much more time do you guys need?

I think it's...

To cure this shit.

I mean, I'm here and we're close.

Where'd you hear that from?

It's a gene

at one of my doctors.

And you have some of the best doctors that money can buy, right?

Oh, yeah.

You doctors that the common man won't have access to.

Well, I mean, I have insurance.

Special TV doctors.

Oh, the IJ doesn't have their own team of physicians that are going to stand by you.

No, no, no.

I mean, all you guys look like you're in pretty poor health.

They should.

I have to pay for my own insurance.

What doctors said that they're close?

I talked about this on the show.

What, the fucking nanobites thing again?

No, like the little

robots that are going to inject into your body.

No, it's all like a fix your brain.

It's all gene manipulation and stuff like that.

Really?

Yeah.

How close?

Like decade close or more than a decade?

I don't recall.

Anything I'd be saying, I'd be misremembering.

But in my lifetime, for sure.

Does that change your outlook?

On what?

Maybe

doing things that

not being be as careful, like maybe taking up smoking.

No,

no, no.

It's got a five-pack a day habit out of nowhere.

You deal a lot of stress.

It might help, might take off your health.

Yeah, why don't you start smoking?

I mean, I got masturbation.

There's no cancer from.

So you can't do both at once?

Smoking.

I've never tried.

Why?

I don't like smoking.

Did you ever try smoking?

Yeah, I think when I was younger, I tried.

My father smoked most of his life, and my mother smoked sometimes.

Yeah, your dad had a cancer scare years and years ago.

Cancer scare, they gave him six months to live.

They had to cut out his lung, two of his ribs, parts of his spine.

Oh, that's why he's got that hot waist.

Yeah, missing those ribs.

Well, that new wears a corset.

I'm bringing it back.

Yeah, he they the doctors gave him six months to live.

This was, I was in high school.

Okay, that was a long time.

I was in high school, and uh, and they, uh, this one doctor was like, Well, they're saying that because

it's a low success rate surgery, and nobody wants to be the guy that.

That's got to be like that.

How often does he bring that up?

Like, I'm never, he never brings it up.

I don't think my dad said two sentences in the past five years, so I don't know that.

Yeah, it's more like a monolith.

I've known him almost as long as I've known you, pretty much.

Probably two sentences he said to me.

And I've seen him on many, many.

I've been on three cruises with a guy.

My father does not talk.

I could not stop bringing that up to my girls.

Like, if I was like, he's giving six months to live, and I was like, oh, well you have to go and go in early for a class oh I survived fucking I was given six months like I beat cancer yeah like they're studying me now

yeah and then the guy who performed the surgery

less than a year after he saved my dad's life died in a motorcycle accident because he was a gifted surgeon huh yeah he must have been some sort of fucking Tony Stark he was a whiz

not a good motorcycle rider apparently though no Yeah, he died.

I'm surprised, though, that then your dad would allow you to get a motorcycle, though.

Well, I was 30 when I got it.

If your dad told you, forbid you from getting a motorcycle, you wouldn't have listened?

I wouldn't have listened.

At a certain age, there's only one person who can tell you that, and that's your girlfriend or your wife.

Somebody you have a kid with.

Like, if Edgar was like, you're not riding that motorcycle, I'd be like, old man, are you senile?

Like, are you.

My mom could this day forbid something for me.

I would, I would listen.

Well, you're an exceptionally puss-whipped kind of guy, so this does not shock me.

I feel like a grandmother who you haven't seen in decades could be like, oh, no, you don't want it.

You'd be like, yes.

Well, you also have to remember that

my parents are professional disapprovers.

They've disapproved of everything.

I've never had a positive word.

It's all like negative stuff.

So you have to learn to sign the kind of.

Well, I mean, that's had to change dramatically.

Oh, yeah, you'd think.

I've seen it in action.

You would think.

Their boy is on fucking Broadway.

Their boy is at the Radio City Music Hall.

That has to change the dynamic.

This last cruise.

No?

No.

I was sitting there at a table with Q and his mom.

And oh, is she going on about some guy who was in the military?

And his mom must be proud.

It was Josh Grogan all over again, except for Q.

And Q's like, I'm doing pretty well.

Like, my aunt Ann, my aunt Ann is so proud of me.

Like, like, like my parents should be.

My aunt Ann is.

She is like, can't stop talking about the show, loves the show, tells people

I'm her nephew.

Like, she's very proud of me.

She'll text me, blah, blah, blah, all this stuff.

And my parents don't do any of that.

No.

Any of that.

Is it hard for them maybe to show that level of like,

were they open with affection?

Not counting the molestation.

I mean, my father, no.

No, my father.

Do you think that,

do you find yourself like, do you feel like you're more like your mother or your father?

I think 10 years of therapy has put me on my own path.

Really?

Neither, huh?

You're your own man.

Yeah, I think so.

I think at this point, yeah.

You know what?

I'm still so sensitive to, not criticism, but there's a certain type of criticism that if it comes my way, and I'm not going to say what it is because I don't want to fucking hear it all the time.

I really

echoes how my mother criticizes everything I do.

That

I don't even have.

There's not even a

it's ins I don't even have a chance of not feeling the way I feel you have mommy issues oh yeah

this is great how many years we were doing Telm Steve Dave and we could still find out things about each other that we didn't know I didn't know that you had some sort of like what's that Dr.

Freud yeah you have Freudian issues bro yeah but I'm aware of them man you know and I wear each other's a penis oh I dress them did you ever bring your mom to therapy with you no but I have talked to my mom extensively about it does she like like that?

She doesn't want to hear it.

Does she try to

listen to me?

My mother's a very fun.

Here's the thing about my mother.

She's fun.

She's warm.

She's outgoing.

She's like a fun person.

So she engages it and acknowledges it and like will make it because it's from her mother

who probably got it from her mother.

So it's like, you know what I mean?

There's no chain.

You're breaking the chain.

Yeah, by not having kids.

Yeah, you're talking all females.

Yeah.

I think we all have major parent issues, right?

Nah, me.

It is a mental fiddle over here.

I mean, I finally come to accept that I

suffered greatly, I think, and my personality disorders definitely come from my lack of a relationship with my father.

Yeah, but not your mom.

No, that's what I said.

We all have parent issues.

Yeah.

Mine is my father's.

Yeah, mine is definitely both one level or another.

Yeah.

But like I told Ry,

I came to this breakthrough while listening to a song song in the car one day.

It made me pull over into an abandoned gas station.

Gay what?

It was a gay gas station.

Hello.

Ready to get pumped?

It was abandoned.

It's just a homeless dude in a vegan.

Oh, what song was it?

It's an old 70s song.

It was, that's the way I've always heard it should be.

It was from,

I think it was Carol King.

I don't know.

I think it was.

No, it was

Simon Carly.

Simon and Carly.

No, it's Carly Simon.

Simon, Carly, Simon.

And it was.

It's like the saddest songs, right?

Yeah, it was the saddest songs we did on a podcast we did for Patreon.

And it made me realize that

I'm fucked up just like you guys.

Just like you guys.

Oh, my God.

So the judgments will end?

No, no, no.

I'm just trying to get that girl who fucked, and then I said something bad about it.

The chemo girl?

Yeah, I wanted her to feel sorry for me so she doesn't feel bad that I said that.

Yeah, I have mental cancer don't you understand it's just as bad if not worse

there's no chemo for mental cancer but i'm just as i'm just as broken as you guys all right well that's good to hear yeah misery loves company let's see let's see a little oh i mean you know what i mean you're gonna play for i mean it's it goes on for so long but it talks about how

her

she would come home from her date and her father just sat in a room in the dark and never say hello to her as she came through the as she came and went throughout her life growing up.

He never acknowledged her existence.

And for whatever reason, it could have been just he didn't know how or he didn't, or he just didn't care enough.

And I feel that.

And this is, then it goes on about the boyfriend or something, right?

Yeah, and then the boyfriend wanting to cage her and get her married before she's ready.

And then she

gives in and she gets married, even though she knows it's the wrong choice.

So she made a lot of bad decision based solely off of her parents being

fucked up.

And that led you to look at your own choices and stuff and ones that you've made as a result of your father.

Yeah, definitely.

But you've been doing that for a while though.

I mean, like, I'm not just saying this.

He's always been like a cool dad.

Like a fun, cool dad, Rick.

Well, I mean, I try to

always be the fun dad.

Sometimes you got to be stern.

A dad's got to wear a lot of pants.

But I think it comes from why I don't, why my personality and why I don't, I can't really connect with people.

Like, it takes such a long time.

Yeah.

And I don't want to talk to people.

It's because, you know, I couldn't talk to him.

You didn't learn those masculine social skills.

Oh, I never, I still don't have masculine social skills

or feminine social skills.

No, I think I have, I think, since I, you know,

relationship with my mom and my wife and daughters, I feel I'm like, I'm the, I'm the gay friend that's not really paying me

certain abandoned gas stations.

It's time for daddy to wear his dress.

That's interesting.

That is interesting.

But when the girls get,

at least at least she gets old enough, there's no like Sex in the City cosmos or anything, unless they're like virgin, like Shirley Templeton.

But you know, but that's why I puff my, that's why I puff my chest out on Telm Steve, Dave.

I'm the hardest fucking comic book retailer.

I'm the toughest fucking, I love sports.

Yeah.

It's all a bravado.

It's a facade

because I'm so feminine.

He does look pretty fuckable right now.

Exposing himself like that.

I put myself out there.

Nothing I love than an insecure girl.

Someone might say, it's your real house.

Wow.

Wow.

But you have any interest at this point in your life?

And remember that sea lining we were talking about earlier?

Wow.

Different kind.

I have any interest.

I know you're going to say you have any interest in reconnecting this knowledge to

no no not to reconnect like to use this knowledge of your blind spots and your weaknesses to make adjustments

to yourself or your father?

I thought I was making adjustments though.

Like small tiny steps.

But like that relationship though still with like with my father still

factors in so much dealing with my girls.

There There are certain subjects I still don't talk about with my girls.

I'm like, I can't do it.

I'm not equipped upstairs to have those kind of conversations with them.

Period shit.

I feel you, bro.

I feel you.

Oh, my God.

Like, there's a lot of stuff.

I'm like, Deb, you got to deal with this one.

I can't deal with this one.

And how is Deb's family?

Like, she came from a

solid nuclear family than you?

Yeah, I think a bit more.

You know, I don't know if they talked about like those conversations you see on TV with like, you know, with dads, I can talk about anything with their girls.

Sal has that with his father.

I don't have that.

You know what I envy that, man?

Like, I would love to be that way with my girls, but I know there's going to be subjects, like when they start talking about their boyfriend, I'm like, I don't want to talk about it.

I don't even want to fucking know about it.

I don't want to hear about this shit.

And if you bring it up, I'm going to get pissy and I'm going to ruin the whole night.

That's a fucking dad.

That's a real dad right there.

Yes.

I'm going to get pissy.

I'm going to ruin the whole

he knows it he fair warning

the cheesecake factor like do you want this whole night to be shit i'll flip this day

let's talk about fucking game shows

and not about your fucking your boyfriend but what if she's like dad like i i need to talk to you about something my boyfriend did something my boyfriend said i don't know i i i want to get some advice on how to navigate this like he threatened her no just she's like you know he don't think he i don't think i'm gonna be the guy to talk to i mean i'll try but i know I'm going to be the wrong person to talk to.

I can't, if, like, what if she goes home and she's like, my boyfriend, like, proposed to me, and I, I don't know what to do.

Run's in high school, you know.

Yes, definitely say no.

Well, how old is Kate now?

She's in her 20s.

She's 21.

21.

And you could happen.

You and Deb were 25, right?

We got married, yeah.

Yeah.

Wow.

So they are looking at a, they're looking, the exact reason I would never get married young is the same reason they may get married young because they look at you guys and like it's a rarity that people stay together that long after and getting married that young.

You want to tell you something?

I mean, I'm going to cry now because I really want to win back that chick.

Yes.

On Twitter.

But we were at Friendly's and the girls were talking about guys.

And I was getting all fucking annoyed.

And I was having a conversation.

I was like, all like sullen in the corner.

Like, I don't want to talk.

I don't want to hear about it.

And Alicia goes, all guys are crazy.

I don't even want a boyfriend.

She goes, because all men are nuts

and they're, and I don't even want to have, they're just lunatics.

And Debbie goes, but what about your father?

And your Uncle Brian.

And Alicia goes, well, you got lucky, mom.

Yeah.

And I was in the conversation.

I heard that.

You're off sulking in the corner.

That's lucky.

No way.

That's lucky.

I was like, I know you're 17, but still.

But that made me like go, oh, my,

that was the moment where, like, I could relive that moment all the time.

Because what she's saying.

She said it, and she wasn't even talking to me.

She thought I was like,

like, bitch, like, fucking pouting in the corner.

Yeah, she's like, even

what we're both witnessing here, even with that bullshit, I still say you got lucky.

So

it's her saying to you, like, I love and respect you, without saying it to you.

You're like a fly on the wall.

That's awesome.

Yeah, that was, that was

that was a nice moment.

That That made all the hard moments of being a parent worth it.

Yeah.

Did you find you had many difficult.

Wow, this is like real fucking hacky dad shit now, or is it?

It's almost mother's day.

I'll never have this.

Oh, yeah.

I mean, like, but you said, though, like, when you say that Sal has that with his father,

and it comes easy.

So easy.

They just, they're best friends.

They're just

a little bit more.

But

that starts early on.

Like,

I have a super close relationship with Sage, but there's there's things I don't want to deal with.

In fact, the other day, she was like, hardly ever gives me shit.

She was giving me so much shit the other day, and I was like, wait a second.

I asked Mary Beth.

I was like, is she on the rag?

Sure enough.

So, for all the girls that are like, I don't change,

my hormones have nothing to do with my attitude.

Bullshit.

I've never met a girl in my personal life who doesn't.

And it's okay.

Just stop denying it.

But no, they say every girl I know is like, yeah, I can get crazy around that time.

Yeah.

That's, I'm,

it's just true.

Not everyone.

There's nothing wrong with it.

I mean, there is, but I mean, in terms of like, look, it's a, it's a natural occurrence.

As much as people want to deny all this shit, like, all right.

You get a little bitchy when you're, when it's that weak or whatever, right?

I mean, come on.

Why is it such a big deal?

Why are we talking about this?

As if it's not happening.

Everybody wants you to believe shit isn't happening.

And you're like, am I insane?

Like, are they right?

No, they're not.

They're not right.

I mean, maybe they're.

Look, I mean, it is what it is.

It just is what it is.

It is, it's natural.

I don't know what to tell you.

And it's not all the time, so who knows?

It's not like I'm a fucking piece of cake to deal with on my best day.

No.

So or you, no, almost never.

Like, like, mood swings like that.

You know, you can't even blame menstruation.

No.

No.

And you would probably if you could, right?

Oh, absolutely.

I'd be like you over there with the brain thing every two seconds being like, well, I'm on my period, don't you know?

You've been on your period for almost six months.

Are you sure sure you're yeah, I'm sure,

but like you, I'll get like, I'll get sulky and

like a real baby.

Yep, yeah, I hate that.

That's my but you don't, you don't know how to, like, in those moments, like you're not equipped emotionally to deal with whatever it is, so you're like, that's your default.

You're like, fuck it, baby mode, fucking boom, you're in it.

But it never works.

There's a study, and I'll find it.

Like, that was done in the 60s and 70s about how men's capacity

to handle

delicate emotional situations is way less than a woman's because our minds through evolution is trained to like threat react threat react so we we men get overcome or overwhelmed with emotion way quicker than women do would you like to apologize for saying there's a difference at all between men and women just because i didn't quoting a study i'm just quoting a study you don't agree with it or disagree with it i'm not i couldn't i'm still doing the research i mean i know this is what i know waltz the future the future is female that i do know oh yeah i saw that on a shirt that's how i knew yeah but uh but yeah in terms of like so it's like you who even knows what's going on in the lizard part of your brain don't know that don't know what what i do know though is like i look back and like edgar quiet brooding quiet brooding explosion yeah and that's me yeah same thing same exact fucking thing honestly let me ask you because it's hard do you love your do you love your do you love your parents?

Are you like, I love them?

Yeah, I guess.

I don't know.

Sometimes I'm like, I don't know if I can, I have the capacity to feel real emotions

aside from rage.

You do.

Because I always define friend by like, oh, are they your friend?

And I'm like, if I cared that I would never talk to them again, then they're my friend.

If

I never talk to them again, I'm like, whatever.

But I guess I'm not their friend, right?

Sure.

It's simplistic, but I hear what you're saying.

Yeah.

I always find it weird, too, like when Pam's like, I love you on the phone, and I'm like, I love you, too.

Really?

Yeah,

I have a hard time saying, I'm not good with expressing emotions like that, you know?

That's interesting.

Because I know I love my parents.

I love them.

Like, the thought of not

one of them passing away is heartbreaking to me.

And, and I, you know, and it's weird because, like, they can irritate the living shit out of me, but I just, you know, there's that feeling of like, oh, I love them.

And as they get older.

As they get older, and it's like, and as I get older, it's like I am more forgiving of anything.

Because now I think that my mother had me when she was like 23.

You know what I mean?

It's like, yeah, Pam, 21.

How on earth could I hold her responsible for anything?

Like,

I was an asshole until I was like 32.

Well,

I mean, that's the thing.

It's like, can you imagine being 21?

23 and like, here's a kid for you to raise.

Like, you don't know shit.

Like, you don't know shit.

It's the reason I didn't ever want to have kids.

I'm like, I would fucking hate for any of my kids to feel the way I felt growing up.

I don't want to do that.

And I, and I didn't think I had the capacity to not do it.

So I was like, fuck it, I don't want to have kids.

I was wrong about that.

Yeah.

Yeah.

But went out of my way to a point where, like, the kid, Sage has such high levels of confidence now that I'm like, fucking pump the brakes, man.

Like, you're not that great.

But, like,

I'll be like, hey, let's play, let's play this game.

and she'll start boasting about how she's going to beat me and how she's awesome at it.

I'm like, you've never played the game before.

I've never used it.

You don't want to lose it.

She's like, I don't have to know how to play the game.

I look at you, my opponent.

There's one winner in this equation.

I know it's not you.

And she's not wrong because I'll let her win.

You know what would be a good name for the Telm Steve Dave Town

softball team?

What's that?

Sea Lions.

The Sea Lions?

The Tom Steve Dave Town Sea Lions.

Right.

Sea Lions, right?

The sports team should all be the Sea Lions.

I like it.

Yeah.

Speaking of

TESD Town, there was an amp moot this past weekend

in Red Bank.

Yeah, where were you here?

Where was I?

Yeah.

I don't know.

Where was I this weekend?

I have no clue.

There was like about, I don't know, about 20 people.

No one told me to do that.

Yeah, there were a lot of people there.

You went?

Yeah, I stopped down.

You stopped by.

I mean, nobody told me.

I mean, step one would be somebody else to inform me of it.

Well,

their schedule was a little loose, so they were going to the auction and Collinswood, and then they were going over to the Quick Stop and all that other shit.

Plus, I feel like if we told you, like, hey, some people are coming to the store, I don't know if you would have come.

I can't imagine you were showing up.

Maybe not, but maybe.

You know what?

I was so touched by this group's enthusiasm, and they said they were going to be there Saturday.

I thought they were coming all day on Saturday.

So, what I did is I convinced

her.

I convinced Giddam to dress in his Elephants in the Room costume all day, and I would wear the Baron costume all day.

Because I thought they were going to be there all day, like, you know, hanging out.

Well, they've heard the show.

They know you don't want them there all day.

But I didn't care.

I was like, I'm going to be the Baron all day, and we're having this nice photo op for them.

And then we're sitting in our costumes, like, and they didn't get there until like four o'clock in the afternoon.

I got there at like a little bit after one, and they'd been in their costumes for hours already.

I went, got lunch, then went and got ice cream.

And we were still in our costumes.

I came back, they're still in their costumes, and nobody's there.

Customers have to be like, why the fuck are these?

Are these two dressed like this?

And he's got the mask on, and

I don't want the mask all that.

Oh, my God.

Just in case, an aunt walked in.

That's like seeing

Clarabelle the clown without his makeup.

Wow, that's crazy.

Or Mickey.

A more timely reference.

I mean, Jesus.

You know how traumatizing it would be if you saw Claribel with no makeup on?

We have a game the trooper.

That he is.

He wore his costume all day long.

The aunts came in.

There is, I want to break the news, breaking news.

There is a new addition to the Frank clan.

Oh, it's a Frank six or seven?

There's a Frank number six.

Ooh.

How is this Frank going to distinguish himself?

That's what I asked him.

I said, what makes you, what talents do you have, or what, you know, separates you from your other Franks?

He said he works at Walmart.

And for me, that was good.

Good enough.

That that was good enough because I was like, you know what?

I don't know if Walmart has a friends and family day, but I think I'm going to probably get some good deals maybe if they do.

You're like,

by dubbing him a Frank.

If I kiss his balls enough, I'm going to get 5% off of DVD.

And what else they did, that was so killer, is that they all brought Baron masks.

Every one of them had a Baron mask.

So I dubbed them, me and get them dubbed anybody who comes in wearing a Baron mask.

What do we call it again?

What's done?

No, the Band of Barons.

Oh.

The Band of Brothers, the Band of Barons.

So I thought that was cool.

That was pretty neat.

You know, something as throwaway as that.

Did they go out partying at night?

Was it like a party?

I know they rented a house, and I know that some of them had alcohol.

Oh, yeah.

I'd love to take part in stuff.

Not Frank Six.

Frank Six is straight edge.

Oh, well, then, yeah.

He's a recovered alcoholic.

No, no, no.

He's young, too.

He's like 20, and he's into Tell him Steve Dave.

He doesn't drink.

He doesn't smoke.

All right, but how is that?

The son you never had, man.

But doesn't he have to contribute to the show somehow to be a Frank?

Frank Six?

Yeah.

Well, Frank, you know what?

Which is his probationary.

Frank at number five took him years after his first appearance on Tell him Steve Dave to become

a contributing member to Tellum Steve Dave Towns.

Sure.

It was like four or five years before we tapped into his resources.

But his intro was solid.

I mean, he left his family on Thanksgiving.

This guy just wandered into the store.

No, no, he was part of of the Ant Moot.

Yeah.

Yeah, Frank Six.

All right.

Yeah, I mean, and he's on Patreon, too, so that automatically.

He's definitely whatever you want, Frank.

In fact, you could be Frank 3 if you wanted.

Yeah, you know what?

It's been so long since Frank 3 has shown his face.

I want to make Frank 6 Frank 3.

All right.

Sorry, Frank 3.

Bad news.

I can't take it from Frank 3.

Come on.

Come on.

Knock him down to 6 then, Frank.

You just said Frank 5 took years

to bloom.

Yeah, but but I texted Frank Three and he never texted me back.

I mean, he may have got a different phone.

It's been so long since I texted him.

How about we put this?

We put him on notice.

Put him on blast.

Yeah, we put him on blast.

Frank Three,

you have like 60 days to

come through in a Frank Three show.

Yeah.

To prove yourself worthy of the title.

Yeah.

Frank Three.

If you don't, then you're

Frank Six.

Rob Bruce.

Next step is fucking out of the whole Frank clan altogether.

And then then you're out of town.

We'll drive you out of town like a goddamn Frankenstein.

Rob Bruce told me that Dachau Frank is still alive.

Does that seem possible?

Sure.

Sure.

I mean, fucking he survived Dachau.

What?

He can't fucking live to be in 90-something?

Yeah, I guess so.

But he seems so old at the time.

Man,

I would not be shocked if that.

I mean, not well enough to make the regular visits to Collingswood, but well enough to, you know, to like live out his days.

Is his title safe next time?

Like, if another Frank comes, yeah, was he Frank too?

He was Frank too.

Yeah, Frank One was that real angry guy.

That guy's definitely dead, Rob Bruce said.

So Frank One is.

Frank One's up for great episodes.

We should bump up Frank number five to Frank One.

We have to change a lot of stuff.

Social merchandise.

The merchandise handle the name of the show.

Frank One's Rewind.

Wow.

And also another old-time aunt.

He was an aunt before there were ants.

Remember Navy Dan?

Yeah.

He sent me an email.

Was he the guy that brought the turban in?

No, no, no, no.

Yeah, he wasn't in the Navy.

He was a character in the Navy Ant.

Yeah, he was on an early, early episode of Tell him Steve Dave, and he sent me an email.

He has just recovered from what you had, emphysema?

Yeah, sure.

Encephalitis.

Encephalitis.

He had it, and when he found out you had it.

Did he have it in his brain?

Yeah, because you can get it in different.

He said he really was a real touch and go.

And he said that the days that he

was really struggling was like unbelievable.

He didn't think he was gonna make it.

I had days where I was like, I'm dying.

I'm going to die.

Yeah, he sent me a long email, and he would love for you to

reach out to him and talk to me.

Oh, wow, why do I got to get involved with this now?

What the fuck do I got to do with this?

No.

No, you don't want to reach out to him.

Fuck, I don't need a support group.

He survived.

I survived.

What do we got to keep doing this for?

But

he sent me a wonderful email, Q, and it would be.

Forward me the email.

I'll read it.

If he's okay, like, what am I going to talk to him about?

You know, can I tell you a little.

He caught a cold.

I got to talk to everyone that's had a fucking cold.

Terrible illness.

Life had become so hard.

He's recovering now.

It's been a tough few months.

And

it would be amazing if you could ask Q to reach out to me in some way.

It would mean the world.

Does it count if he reaches out to him on the show right now?

He's on Patreon.

He dropped that, too.

Everybody does.

Does he reply to you?

To pry to him as you do.

Tell me, is it for me that email?

Okay.

And I'll reply to him.

We've been bullied into it.

He's on Patreon.

What are you watching?

But did he have a stroke as a result of it?

Because

that puts me at the top of the pity pile.

To be fair to Navy Dan, he did not get into details with me about how.

But he said he has a wonderful family.

Yeah.

He has children.

So what what does he need me for if he's got all this?

He just wanted to congratulate us on our continued success, and he is just so proud of us.

I mean, this is a man that just warmed my heart.

Plus, he served the country.

He's ensuring your freedom.

And you're like, oh, I don't have time for Navy Dan.

He's tired.

He's not tired.

Just because he had a cold, now I got to talk to him.

My brother was in the Navy.

I mean, I was close.

It was a fun time.

Do you talk to your brother?

I talked to my brother.

All right, then.

I flew down Tuesday just to see my brother.

But I offered the invite to Navy Dan if he's ever on East Coast.

Come back on.

Tell him Steve Dave.

Did you for me the email?

Yeah, check your.

I'll write him back.

I will write him back.

And if he doesn't.

He wants you to call him, actually.

Yeah, he left his phone number.

You're a piece of shit if you don't call him back.

You really are.

I'm sorry.

Yeah, you're garbage, dude.

I never heard from this guy when I was sick.

He didn't know.

Well, when I started talking about it on the show, I never heard from him.

He said that when he was sick and he was feeling like he wasn't, like his head was going to explode, the only thing

that got him through it was tell him Steve Dave.

So, how much more do I have to do?

Well, that personal touch.

I mean, it just like

just got him through his sickness.

Why do I got to do more?

How about paying me back?

It's called icing, baby.

Icing.

It is through Patreon.

Great.

So we're even.

What do we got?

And I got a rocket.

Use my fucking T-Mobile minutes.

But guys who went through extremely difficult times, there's no like, wait, you guys don't bond.

Like, I can't talk to you about what you went through, but maybe Dan could.

No, you're right.

Well, there is because druggies want to talk to me about druggie shit.

Because I went through that.

And it's impossible to express to someone what it's like to be like detoxing from oxy.

Even if you can't describe it, it's so awful.

Just like this.

It's like you can talk about it, but you really can't

truly relate.

It's past.

I don't want to

know.

You should make it your whole identity, man.

Wow.

I didn't fucking tell anybody about what was going on because I didn't want to talk about it.

Wow.

I'll get in touch with him.

Okay.

To chide him for this nonsense.

Yeah, really?

Oh, and to the chemo lady.

Who I dissed on.

Who knows?

And also, I guess if I'm talking about this, I guess I'm revealing that at Sunday Jeff is not really Sunday Jeff.

Yeah, I didn't notice that when you said that.

I was surprised you were blown up.

Because I felt this, if I'm going to reveal

something

and make up for my faux pas, I guess I got to really come clean and let everybody know that at Sunday Jeff is me.

The gasp heard around the world.

I mean,

it was a worse secret.

His mouth is a geek.

It's a worse kept secret than like Harvey Weinstein.

I mean, now we got to to get you one of them blue checks.

No, no.

There's some people who don't listen, who'll never hear this.

I mean, I can still remain anonymous.

All right.

But yeah, that woman, though, yeah, like, we were going to, like, I feel like

I bared my soul, told you a little bit, like, revealed a little bit of why I'm an asshole.

I don't know that you were an asshole, though.

I don't think I know at all.

Well, yeah, it seemed very jokey in nature.

And I don't think, again, like, I don't think it's just because the lady's in chemo that she's like, she wants to be treated differently or with kid gloves gloves or whatever because she has cancer.

No, I didn't want people to know.

No.

I probably would go for the kid gloves.

Yeah, I probably would definitely play it up for everything that I could get.

No, I didn't tell the network.

I didn't tell anyone.

But you just like, you want to appear that week where you're like,

do things for me because I'm sick.

Yeah.

Yeah.

I mean, it sounds nice.

Yeah, when I say it out loud, I'm like, that, man.

I'm going to start hanging out in the chemo place.

Well, I know that

you've seen bumper stickers all over the place, right?

You know, coexist.

I'm always seeing.

Jersey strong.

Jersey strong, slogans, this and that.

Everybody with

their opinions or their positions or their platforms or whatever.

Nice, simple one, three words, I eat ass.

Did you see that?

I did not.

A new bumper sticker that's catching somebody catching the attention of

a copy.

Florida.

It caught the attention of a copy.

Well, I saw this and he gave the guy a ticket, right?

He gave the guy a ticket.

Then he arrested the guy.

He was arrested for the sticker proclaiming that he eats ass.

Well, Florida, man, that's a different.

That's a conservative state.

It is a conservative state.

You want to have that bumper sticker, maybe, maybe, but you better go to San Francisco or Vermont.

But don't put it on.

Is Vermont another hotbed of

a lot of progressives?

But I don't think he's talking about guys.

I don't care who he's talking about.

oh so you're saying that like that's it has to be a very sort of loose and uh and fancy-free uh environment in order to um

yeah in order to proclaim a little tight under the collar in florida a lot of retirees go there they want it they don't want to drive around see that fucking obscenity well the cop was like what if somebody's kids see that and then he's the guy and i don't know that he's wrong he's like well it's up to his parents their parents to explain it like what does that have got to do with me well there's no chance to sell it as like he eats donkey meat

i don't he didn't take that route right he uh

he just kind of argued with it they put that bumper sticker on tijuana

that's that's where you see that bumper sticker i hate dunking meat

i don't get that

that's good um tech liked it yeah yeah chris the chris the shared universe tech who turned out i have a deep deep history with his grandfather taught at our high school yes and i knew his dad quite well really

Oh, yeah.

What's the medical term for

eating ass?

Yeah,

analingus.

Yeah, analingus.

So, kids would not, they wouldn't even bother with a word.

They'd be like, it's too hard.

I'm not even going to bother trying to figure it out.

What is the point of the bumper sticker?

Like, why is he letting people know that he does this beautiful act?

Because he thinks he's fucking edgy, well, he's funny, and I'm crazy, man.

I fucking eat ass.

Yeah.

That's your Mike Zapsec impression.

Bunch of black guys cheering them up.

Would you find?

Remember how, like, years ago,

like, there were people out there, there were women out there that didn't give blowjobs?

Remember that?

Like, that era?

Now it's kind of...

Do you still think they don't exist?

I don't really think they exist anymore.

I think society is.

Evolution has taken over and phased them out.

Like when you used to buy a car, you used to have

air conditioning.

Now, blowjobs are just come with a package.

I think you spend all your time on the fucking coast, bro.

And you don't know what good girls do in the middle of the fucking country.

I wouldn't call them good.

They're not good.

What do you mean?

The middle of the country is like blowjob heaven.

That's all they got to do out there.

Way.

I fucking read the Bible and give them back rubs.

I don't know any guy

that would get into a relationship in this day and age.

And she eventually says, I'm sorry,

I just don't suck, Dick.

And the guy stays.

I don't

hear some sex affairs.

I'm talking about

saying It's too late.

They already bought that car.

I'm talking about the new models.

Oh, the new models.

The new models come standard blowjobs.

I'm telling you.

I don't know.

I think you're

this big, wide brush with the other.

No, the

generations that are raised on internet portals.

Why are we discussing?

We're fucking guys in our 40s and 50s.

Chris the Tech, what's going on out there?

How old is Chris the Tech?

I'm 24.

Right.

Okay.

So he's much younger.

Yeah, I'm real young.

No, I feel like there are still girls out there, but it's one in like 10.

That's one of the things.

That's 10%.

That's a lot of 10%.

Yeah.

Multiplying mass

population is.

Or are you saying it's one of 10 who get out of your trunk and don't do it after you would abduct them?

But I just think it's not common.

One in 10 is not that common.

It's like making out to a lot of girls.

Like making out blowjobs.

Same thing, practically.

But

I think that eating ass is starting to become a mainstream.

So you're saying the hyper-normalization of eating ass is upon us.

So, like, in six years, we're going to have people like, oh, yeah, I eat ass all the time.

It comes with the car.

Finally, something these asshole millennials brought to the table that I'm about.

No pun intended.

I'm eating ass and shit.

I believe it's becoming part of the.

I think the price of the upgrade has gone down.

Do you?

And it's soon going to be part of the car.

Do you wonder?

That could have been the cause.

I'm assuming that the way you're speaking, I don't want to assume, but I'm assuming from the way you're talking, though, that this is something that you're not opposed to.

Oh, he he like ate an ass and that amoeba got into his brain and stroked

that's how he stroked out?

Is there, you know, certainly possible

tongues of ass.

Is that how Navy Dan got?

Now I'll write him a fucking email.

If it turns out, would you be like, would you do a bunch of money?

And then you know what?

I stopped calling him Frank One.

Or Frank Two.

That would be, I'd be interested to to hear.

Please write Walt at kmc with gmail.com to let him know your opinions of eating ass.

So, this deputy he pulls the guy over for his derogatory sticker.

I guess that was the deputy's word.

And the guy says, How is that derogatory?

And the deputy says, How is it not derogatory?

Some 10-year-old little kid sitting in the passenger seat of his mom's vehicle looks over and sees I eat ass and asks his mom what it means.

How is she going to explain that?

And then he says, That's the parents' job, not my job.

And he is right.

And the cop is like, he's trying to, in the moment, use his own personal morals as a reason for pulling this guy over and then subsequently arresting him when the guy's like, I'm not taking it off.

So now this guy is going to sue, I guess.

Is there obscenity laws in Florida?

If there is, I mean,

there are, but it didn't cover this because I think in the video or in the audio, the guy's, the cop is deputy's calling it in and the guy on the other end is like, well, what are you going to bring him in for?

Dispatcher?

What the fuck is she?

Well, no, or he,

yeah,

more likely she.

Who is she?

She's now the fucking prosecutor and the district attorney.

Well, no, he's just asking, Well, what do you, and it was a, it was a guy, it wasn't a lady.

Um, he was like, What are you bringing him in for?

And he's like, Oh, because the sticker, and he's like, But what's the statue or whatever?

You know, you got to write something.

There has to be something there, yeah.

Eating ass is too new for it's like that's the new when they remake Footloose.

That's going to be the new

Y'all don't eat ass in this town.

Yeah, here he is.

There he is proudly with his.

It's it's it's I mean here's the thing.

I look at this guy and I'm like, he's an asshole.

Right.

But I whether that's an arrestable offense, I don't know.

Let's not make him like he's the fucking lady on the bus, please.

That wouldn't get those parks.

Yeah.

No, he's not.

Let's make him a hero for fucking Christ's sake.

I don't think anyone is.

And I mean, honestly, like, I remember remember in

Buttermilk Valley Road, there was a guy who was like a metalhead guy.

He lived down in there.

He had this trench coat he always wore.

And on the back of the trench coat, it said, Jesus Christ is a cunt.

Like,

obviously, super, you know, offensive to a lot of people, intended to offend people.

And I think that's a good thing.

You told the guy recently to fuck him and fuck God.

Exactly.

You're intending to offend people.

Right, right.

That was it.

Anytime, if he's like, God bless you, unless I'm sneezing, I know he's probably a religious dude.

The I8S, again, it's like that trench coat, which is like putting it up there to get a response, to evoke a response, but for what reason?

Because you can't do that.

They love the attention.

They want the attention.

They want to be provocative.

There's no money in that.

Yeah, like this guy

unless he wins, unless this guy wins the lawsuit.

The trench coat guy, no.

Oh, that's what I mean.

The trench coat guy.

Right.

This guy, though, I guess, will follow.

Lady Justice will weep if this dude wins any fucking money from this.

No, I want him to win.

The Statue of Liberty eats ass.

Come on.

I feel like...

But Lady Justice pulls down her blindfold a little bit to spy on some ass to eat.

She's French.

You never know.

I feel like

he should win.

I don't want cops being able to decide on that micro level of what's right and wrong.

Because it's offending him.

And it's a hypothetical situation.

What if I have to explain that to my kids?

It's like, I don't care.

Like, that's for you to deal with, not me.

This is pretty black and white.

Yeah.

I think that definitely is a vulgar

sticker.

Yes.

Because it's just like, so what?

He could

list any number of things he does.

He's pussy.

He fucks girls.

Who cares?

There's no reason to put it on the truck.

I'd like to do with a little bit more innuendo, a little bit more, more,

you know, a little bit more carefully or not, you know, just

more cleverly.

Yeah, but like, at the end of the day, what is what is his state?

Does he think a girl's going to be driving behind them and be like, oh man, I got to.

I've always wanted my ass eat.

I got to get over that.

There's a certain number of.

Hungry?

Pull over.

Yeah.

Belly up to the end score.

There's a certain number of people who will, like, he'll get validation for it.

Like, but they will hock.

And they'll be like, oh, that's funny.

You know,

more idiots.

And it is.

It's weird because personally,

it doesn't bother me.

I see how it would bother people with kids who are like, I wish they didn't.

I would just make something up.

I would make up the donkey thing.

What about do you think that if that's how you think girls think about when they see that driving around?

I don't think they're.

Are they threatened by that?

Threatened?

No, I think they're like, he's a fucking chump, this guy.

Right.

I don't think they find it attractive.

It's a turn-on.

I don't, I don't think so.

Reading it or doing it?

No, reading it and being like, well, that guy's got some mojo.

That guy's got something going on.

There is some girl that will say that.

No, there's absolutely some girl, right?

There's some girl that will see an IED ass.

I mean, I'm looking at it right now.

My wife.

I look like fucking OJ the way she was following me when I had my IED ass bumper sticker on my car.

That explains that short, short space.

Wow.

I don't know.

You'd think there were girls that are going to respond positively to that.

Some will.

They'll think, well, they won't be like, oh, eat my ass, but they'll be like, he's funny or he's a funny guy.

He's clever.

He's somebody.

Not everyone has the

top-notch fucking razor-sharp wit of a tell him Steve Dave crew.

That's like, that's not for us.

An I get ass bumper sticker.

You make fun of your friends doing it.

now we're talking the listeners would not would see that as not amusing if we did it you know if you drove around in your car with like that with that how about this we'll we'll test it out next month's patreon gift i eat ass bumper sticker with a little tell them steve david

my daughter has to send those gifts around i am not a fucking excuse what is this what if we what does this mean

what if we change it like

a picture of an eyeball and then like a sandwich with a bite in it and then a donkey my daughter's 20 years old.

You don't think she's going to be able to figure out that fucking hieroglyphics of your fucking bumper sticker?

I think that even if she did, she wouldn't be like, oh my,

oh,

my wife is not going to allow me to have her stuff envelopes with an IE ass fucking bumper sticker for your amusement.

Fair enough.

So I actually.

And we know we're not doing that.

We're about to get him.

He can't fucking stuff an envelope with two.

Waltz has a system that we don't want to fuck with because it works pretty well, right?

It's a hard system because this, whoever set this up as doing every three months, and it's a fucking Rubik's Cube.

I can tell you who did.

You did.

You set up every three months.

I don't know,

but it's fucked up because not everybody is not on the same date.

It's difficult, right?

So she has got like charts and folders, and I'm like, holy shit, it's amazing that there hasn't been more fuck-ups.

I mean, there have been few,

but it should be like my wife was like, it is going to be a catastrophe to do it this way.

And I was like, I think she can do it.

And she pretty much handled it.

And not without 100%, you know, not no mistakes, but I thought there would be way more.

But does she know how valuable she is right now?

Caitlin?

Yeah.

To the operation?

I don't like pay her, so.

No, but I mean, does she know that?

If she's like, I'll just walk away and you'll be fucked, old man.

Oh, no, I never tell her that.

Like, yeah, she's like, you're going to fuck him drive around with this on it, slaps an iPod

bumper sticker on your car.

She's like, no, go.

Yeah, she's a valuable asset.

Speaking of chocolate, and

speaking of chocolate, though,

I read a story.

Did you guys hear about this?

There's a 100-year-old couple.

A 100-year-old couple?

Yeah, they're both in their 100, and they say the secret of their longevity was that they eat a Hershey bar every day.

What?

What is that scott?

I guess when you're over 100, you can make up anything.

Yeah.

It's like, and when did you start?

When did they start?

In the 40s.

40s?

In the 40s.

But the chocolate bars.

The 40s aren't the same as the chocolate bars from now.

Yeah, they're probably like cocaine in the future.

Read this story to Q, some of the highlights.

Like they made them with real sugar back then.

They don't do any of that anymore.

So you're maintaining that may not be the real reason that they both survived this long.

It's their chocolate habit.

It's got to be Hershey, too.

It might be the attitude they have, which is like, hey, every day, if you're that fun-loving, that every day you're going to eat a chocolate bar,

that might be the real secret.

How adorable is this, though?

They're both married and they're both in the same nursing home.

It's depressing, is the word I use.

Really?

Well, you don't want to grow old and eventually

when

you meet that someone, you don't want to be 100 years old living in the same nursing home.

Here's another chocolate bar, Q.

Well,

for fuck's sake.

Why didn't that fucking Amoeba take me whenever?

Ideally, oh god, we're all down, Q!

You'll choke!

Q!

No, Q.

Somebody help him!

Eat the chocolate!

He ate the whole chocolate!

He's suffering!

Somebody wipe his mouth!

He's gonna look like he got shit all over his mouth.

Oh, shit, face to beat.

He used to eat ass.

Oh, yeah, I can't fucking stand him.

Back in the day, he woke up.

This doesn't sound like a dream.

I stuff his face with chocolate.

Look how fat he got.

Did you know he used to be on TV?

Oh, he was the handsome one.

They all loved him.

She's

dead.

I never thought it would last this long.

The oldest she'll be is 60 at that point.

I was good.

No, it's pushing it.

So, yeah, so I guess since the 40s, all right, here's a picture of them.

Like, it's whenever you see a picture in the 40s, it's always a dude in a military outfit, right?

That's where men were men.

Yeah, and she's kind of cute.

Yeah, she's beautiful.

So

they had five kids.

They brought them to Hershey Park in the late 50s.

What a trip that must have been, huh?

Hershey Park in the late 50s.

Oh, my God.

I throw up on somebody at Hershey Park because I get real motion sickness.

And my mom put me, I was like six, seven, and they put me on the Ferris wheel and I threw up and it rained down on the bench.

Can you imagine?

I'd want to kill a kid.

Let's see.

So I don't know who's talking here.

They love the Hersheys, she said.

It melts in their mouth just the way they want it.

That's an older one.

That was very strange.

That's so weird, right?

Oh, yeah.

Just the way they want it.

Their 79th wedding anniversary.

They live in a nursing home together in Illinois, where I guess their daughter visits

regularly to ensure they have their daily dose of chocolate.

I think it's probably coincidence.

Otherwise, why wouldn't everyone be living forever that eats all that?

You see tons of morbidly obese people that eat chocolate nonstop.

I smoke cigarettes and drink whiskey and shit like that.

I don't know, man.

I've taken up the Hershey regimen.

Have you?

Yeah.

I thought you were about to say highway.

I was going to fucking leap over this fucking table and attack you.

Like, you do wear a dress.

Some

centenarians have also credited foods like eggs, bacon, and cookies with extending their lives.

This shows they're enjoying life.

A lady who died at 116 said that she ate bacon and eggs every morning for more than 100 years.

And another lady who died at 117 said she ate two raw eggs, one cooked, and egg and cookies every day.

I hope that that's my life.

I hope that I get to that 116 age.

What food do you and Deb share that you like that much?

Every day?

116?

She eats chocolate every day, but it's that fucking high-end chocolate.

Whoa.

Oh, like cadiva and shit.

She's been doing that before I was on TV, though.

Oh, yeah.

So, baby, I'll keep you in chocolate.

I don't care what I got to do.

I'll be at the gas station if you need me.

You abandon one.

But she eats that Lynn's.

You ever hear that?

Lynn's, yeah.

Yeah, she likes that chocolate.

She eats that like every day, like a little bit of chocolate.

That's nice.

Yeah, but so I've been now that I want to catch up to her.

I've been taking up now, you know, taking a

chocolate bar.

Do you like a crunch bar?

Hershey's bar bar?

No, I go in with the Hershey.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Nestle Crunch is not on anybody's list for keeping them old.

So no, even maybe Chinese people got a bunch of rice in it and shit, right?

I like a good Hershey's bar with some almonds in it, too.

Yeah, I love Hershey's bars.

Now, they didn't say anything about almonds or peanuts, so if you want to live to be

116, you may want to have to go to plain chocolate.

How many calories is like 210?

Something like that, probably.

That's why you want a a strict technical.

Yeah, can't you tell?

We were talking today about working out.

Oh yeah.

Yeah.

I'm going to get shredded.

Oh yeah?

Yeah, I think you should.

You look good right now.

How much more do you have to lose?

Oh no, to get shredded.

Oh, you mean you want to have a physique?

Yeah.

Oh, you want a six-pack abs?

I do, but I don't know if I can anymore because since I was so fat, like now my stomach doesn't have that elasticity.

It looks like my stomach looks like after a kid's party, like a balloon that got forgotten behind the couch, and you find it and you're like, oh, look at this wrinkly motherfucker.

That's what it looks like.

That is the same texture.

You can still get six palms.

Holy fuck, I smelled it.

210 calories.

I got it on the dot.

Wow, that's a, you're like fucking Calorie Rainman.

Chocolate retard.

Wow, this other website's saying 220.

So there's

this discrepancy.

Either way, I was close.

We also talked about as unfortunate as it will be,

chances are highly likely that I will visit you in your coffin.

Like, I'm going to go to your funeral or you won't go to mine.

I'm going to live longer than you.

Because we've determined I'm like cockroachy in a way, where like things that should have killed me by now have not.

So

I think I may have a little more resistance to stuff.

I'm going to come to your funeral and I'm going to whisper in your coffin.

Just because you fucking

good at, did you?

because you've made some horrific choices.

I've made now all of a sudden, now you're more healthier than I am, and you're going to outlive me.

It's not just my opinion.

It's only the guy who fucking puts his nose on people.

You're going to now take his health care advice and be like, you're fine.

You're going to live to be 100.

Walt's going to be in an early grave.

That's the funny one who does the nose thing.

No, I think you and I, I think we're going to be feeding each other chocolate at 115 years old, right?

I hope so.

Yeah, me too.

If I have to go to a nursing home, and I probably will,

I could handle it if like one or both of you guys are there.

Now, have you talked to Mary Beth, your 24-year-old girlfriend, about your 25?

Listen, make me sweat.

She's not a perb.

Have you talked to her about your wishes when you get to that state where you're not going to be able to make your own

good decisions?

Way to the bathroom.

Or, yeah, like, what is her, what is her responsibility?

Is she got to get out of jail like with no ramifications if you made her sign something where like or not sign but like you come to an agreement that like you're never gonna hold it against her if she's like i just can't do this yeah he's made that agreement with her were you kidding me he's gonna hold it against her yeah like no no go ahead you know i just need you now more than ever

like go into baby mode just talking about how he didn't want to use it like if you got sick you want to use it

in theory not practice oh yeah i mean if i'm judging someone else then that's my opinion she sounds a little emotional when you talk about her to me.

She can be, yeah.

So I would imagine she wouldn't even want to have this conversation that at some point, you're always going to be this virile and fucking strong.

And

you're never going to be like,

you know, helpless and hapless.

No.

Well, hapless, probably.

Helpless, no.

If I bring it up, yeah, she does not want to talk about anything like that.

But I'm like, look, look, you've got to plan for this, bro.

Yeah.

I'm like, you know how many death scares I've had in the past 10 years?

Well, you're not, yeah, but it's not the death scares because then she, like, a death scare,

it's fine.

I was talking about this long, this drawn-out, protracted love affair.

Yeah, I'm like, don't you love me anymore?

She's like, I'm 30 years old.

You're 55 and you look like you're 95.

Remember that time you bragged about going to Walt's funeral?

I just saw him jogging, eating a chocolate bar.

happened

i think i gotta use the bathroom

help me

i filled it

i filled my diaper

you gotta clean it i love you no really have you had this conversation that like it's in that at a certain point it's not gonna be fucking like

romeo and juliet

assuming it is now all the romance she experiences now is gonna end one day yeah um

i i figure to wait and see attitude for.

I've said it plenty of times.

I tell her all the time, like, you should leave.

You could do so much better.

Well, not yet.

You don't have to leave.

You're still, you're not at that state yet, but

every man's going to, if you live long enough, is going to come to that point, though.

I mean,

on a long enough timeline.

Got that right.

She doesn't want to hear it, though, huh?

Doesn't want to hear it.

Yeah.

Doesn't denial.

What am I going to say?

It's not just a river in Egypt.

That's what I told her.

She's like, did you make that up?

I'm like, yes, I did.

My man's fucking a genius.

Let me suck your dick.

I'm like, have you read my bumper sticker?

I want to say tell Steve.

Dave's having such a good time, though.

Yeah, oh, you know, we could talk about it.

You got an ad?

Oh, yeah.

You know what I think we do?

Let me find it.

Did you see Arnold getting drop kicked?

Yeah,

fucking affect him.

That's Arnold's a fucking.

He shrunk it off.

he looked mildly annoyed at it like what the was that

70.

so i think mary beth thinks that you're gonna be like arnold when you're 70 what would give her that idea i've never been like arnold in physically mentally there's nothing we share nothing in common did she see that video She didn't, I don't think so.

Don't show it to her because it's going to make her think like, well, if he, if a 70-year-old can survive a dropkick, I don't have anything to worry about when my man's 70.

Right, you're just like Arnold.

He laughed it off.

Yeah.

Speaking of Arnold, you see the new trailer?

Yeah.

Yeah.

I'm not ashamed to say that gave me a boner, man.

Really?

You got excited by it?

Yeah.

I was a little bit more.

What was it for?

Terminator.

I liked when she came out.

Linda.

That was awesome.

I can call her Linda.

But the rest of it was like, oh man, they're going to have to win me over because it reminded me of all the sequence.

That plane sequence?

That plane sequence was so fucking damn hot.

Yeah.

That's the one thing we haven't seen yet in Terminator movies is a crashing plane.

Yeah, look, I'm in it.

I'm there day one.

I'm there.

James Cameron.

Dude, I am sold.

I'm there.

I was just, there was so much in the trailer.

I was like, couldn't you guys just lean on Arnold and Linda a little more for me?

You know?

There is a lot of young

young stars being showcased in that trailer.

Yeah, and I just would have liked to have seen a little bit more of the

when he comes out of the cabin.

But that moment's been done three times in the past fucking seven years.

But then, did you see Cameron, the interview with Cameron?

No.

He's like, this movie takes place immediately after T2.

T3, whatever else came after that, is not Canon.

Right, that makes sense.

That makes sense.

I think it's going to be a lot of T3.

I trust Cameron with my life.

I 100% trust him.

I wish he directed it.

Oh, he didn't?

No, he produced it.

Oh, then why the fuck are they giving him so much hype then?

Because he produced it.

He was involved in the story and everything like that.

Wow.

I cannot wait.

November 1st.

November 1st.

I'm there.

Yeah, me too.

I'm there.

I was going to

let Sage only say a half-day school tomorrow.

I was going to let her skip so we could go see Godzilla.

And then it doesn't come out until next week.

I was like, why the fuck would they do that?

Is it because Memorial Day comes early or something?

I don't know.

It's always been the 28th.

I thought it would be like over Memorial Day, though.

God bless you.

No, no, no.

I knew it was next week.

Yeah.

She wasn't going to be able to do it.

Breightburn's this week.

Yeah.

Breightburn.

Yeah, that's the horror Superman.

I knew you would be excited about that.

What's it called?

Breakburn?

Breightburn.

It hasn't getting a lot of hype, though, man.

No trailers.

Jesus.

Sorry about that.

I've seen a few trailers.

I haven't seen one trailer.

Nothing.

That looks crazy good, man.

It does.

And I like, you know, it's...

James Gunn and his Fizz crew over there behind it.

I have faith in that guy.

What do you think of the lack of John Connor Conner in the trailer?

I think that's on purpose.

And why didn't they get the fucking.

If they're going to bring Linda back, you got to bring back John.

Or not John.

Edward.

Eddie Furlong?

You got to.

Maybe he did.

I saw him at Rob Bruce's con.

Yeah.

So he wasn't in the new terminator.

Yeah.

Yeah.

He looked husky.

He looked husky.

James Cameron calls Robin Frank.

Yeah, you lose the weight.

We're going to put you in a new terminator a year from now.

I fucking stopped whipping out chocolate bars and jocks.

That fucking day.

That day.

Are you excited about Godzilla?

I am.

You didn't like the first Godzilla, right?

I thought it was a little too slow, and there wasn't enough Godzilla.

I know he was going for that whole

from the common man perspective, and I was like, I don't want to be there.

I am the common man.

I know what they see.

Can you fucking show me?

You're not the common man.

I'm afraid to tell you you're not the common man.

That's how deluded this motherfucker is.

I mean, in terms of Godzilla fights, I'm the common man.

Part Tech takes a bus to fucking come to the

three miles from his house.

I'm 20 years older than this guy.

If I was still taking the same fucking bus as him, I'd be a fucking object failure.

Like, he should be taking the bus.

I took the bus.

He has no right to not be on the bus.

At his age, I was taking the bus.

But my point is, like,

I don't need it.

Show me shit I'm not going to see.

What about King Kong?

Loved it.

I flip-flopped.

I loved Godzilla.

I really did not like Skull Island.

I liked Skull Island.

Skull Island was rough.

It was.

Oh, I liked it.

I had fun.

It's one of those movies where I'm like, did I have fun?

I did, and that's enough for me.

I think they focus way too much on the human beings in Skull Island.

And I hope they don't do that.

You thought that's what they did in Godzilla, though.

I was able

to

really separate the human being storylines from the Godzilla footage.

Godzilla.

I mean, King Kong, I wasn't.

I like the design of Godzilla.

I like how they made him sort of chubby.

Yeah.

And when he gets up at the end of that movie and just kind of sighs.

Yeah.

And then I was like, that is cool.

I like that.

Now,

how do you think they're going to play off Mothra?

You think it's going to be two little tiny Asian girls are going to control him?

No, I don't.

No.

Well, will that be, will the Japanese go fucking ape shit?

No, I don't think they care.

Oh, nice pun.

Well, Mothra's not an ape.

What are you talking about, King Kong?

No, I'm talking about Mothra.

Oh, I thought King Kong was in.

Mothra was in the King Kong.

The next movie is King Kong vs.

Godzilla.

I think they already started filming.

It's already done.

Yeah.

All right.

That's going to be cool.

Yeah.

Because

the new King Kong, say what you will about him, they made him big.

And he was a baby in that movie.

In the 70s.

Yeah, they said he is just a baby, too.

He's going to get bigger.

Oh, he's so big.

So, wait,

they're not putting the Asian ladies in the Mothra movie?

I don't know if they're going.

No, no, no.

I don't know.

It's silly.

I think it doesn't make sense.

I think because it's so ridiculous to have two tiny

action-figured-sized Asian colors.

In a clam shell, didn't they live in a clamshell?

Yeah, like a motherfucker.

They put them in a little birdcage,

a birdcage.

Yeah, and that's all they did was sing, and it was Summon Mothra, right?

That was the thing.

Yeah, they could control Mothra with their singing voices.

Tell you what, I wish they would put it in.

Wouldn't that be crazy?

I just don't know how it would play with today's audience, though.

Fandoms are so fucking vicious.

As we learned earlier with the lady from chemo.

No, no.

She didn't say anything nasty.

But there, I mean, but you know, even our, but you know, you're right, though, our fandom can get vicious too, man.

Yeah, the same people that love you are like, I hate you so much.

Kind of like my parents, I guess.

It's spring.

Should I do it like deep voice, like that black guy on, was it progressive or all-state or something?

Sure.

It feels like the fucking

time of year where

seeds grow in flowers.

Yeah, I mean, I didn't want to criticize it too.

Are they trying to run a business here?

But what the fuck?

Why is it 80 degrees in this?

Why don't you strike, Chris?

This is insane.

Yeah, this is crazy.

They're like, we're like, why isn't the air conditioner on?

And Mike's like, because the landlord wouldn't turn it on.

And then you got to keep the window open.

So the fucking point of a sound studio is defeated.

You hear motorcycles and buses going by.

He's on his fucking bus.

He thinks he's going to run and make it.

Wait,

the point of the studio is not to hang fucking swords on the wall and shit.

You would think baseball back.

Apparently, the point of the studio is to hang shit, the 80,000 photos of you and the Walking Dead cast.

I'm sorry, but I have to disagree.

I love the decor of that.

I like it too, but can we work on the basics?

Like fucking AC and sound absorption.

Sound is over fucking

overvalued.

They're a podcast studio.

It's literally the only reason it exists.

Come on, man.

There's fucking blue juice up there.

They have Deathwish Coffee.

I know, I know.

I saw that.

I was impressed.

They have everything right except for the AC, which is affecting the sound.

They're working on it.

They're a young fucking company.

We were here a year ago.

They're a young startup company.

Every time we've gone here, winter or summer, it's broiling.

Every time.

Yeah.

Shared universe would be pretty much perfection if

100%.

If the temperature was right, you would never want to leave.

No, I would want to record the show here every week.

Okay, so.

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They also make it easy to compare and buy home insurance, auto insurance, and disability insurance.

So in case you don't die, you just get fucked up in a wreck or something, you're covered.

And then there's a call to action.

How do you do that?

I guess I read these things right here.

Okay.

So next time you stop to smell the roses, pull out your phone and head to policygenius.com.

PolicyGenius, spring is here.

Kick it off by nipping life insurance in the bud.

And there's no, it's just a read.

Nobody has to.

I guess go to policy dudes if you're buying insurance or whatever.

I constantly think of life insurance.

So I should get some in case I'm.

You don't have any?

No.

No.

I'm insured to the gills.

Yeah?

Yeah.

Am I the beneficial?

Yeah.

What am I getting?

A couple bucks.

Do you have a will?

I have wills.

Really?

Yeah.

I have will.

Is anything going to your podcast partners?

I don't want to.

Any bound comics?

Any hardcovers that you may not have?

You guys are 10 years older than me.

I'm dying dying before you guys well in case it's like there's a you know yeah a catastrophe yeah like there's a tragedy on the set of ij

okay right like a michael jackson type thing where you burn to a cinder oh i thought you were gonna say that where you're molesting someone sets you on fire

what do you want what do you want that i have i don't know i what kind of hardcovers uh you got in your library i got them from you i mean well i mean

i guess all the hardcovers i'd like to you got all the hardcovers Thank you.

That's weird.

I have

when they remember they put out Kingdom Come in that Bible edition with the slip case.

I have that.

You sold me that years ago.

Okay, I'll take that back.

All right.

I want to get my hands on that chandelier.

I want the Prussian kissing skull.

Yeah?

Yeah.

It's in your.

Yeah, but I know it's not really mine.

Right, right.

Who's going to know that?

If he kicks and it's in the store?

No, you're right.

Right?

I'm not going to rat you out.

Yeah.

I don't have anything.

That I want?

Probably not.

No.

No, probably not.

Some preacher soft covers.

Trade paperbacks.

You should look into getting some life insurance, though.

You should go to this company.

There's so many times when I'm like, I wish I got life insurance two years ago so I could kill myself.

And then they won't pay up if you do that, right?

I think it's like two years.

Yeah, after two years of getting the insurance, if you kill yourself, they're paying for yourself.

Because what kind of psychopath

would yeah project in two years they would do that my will has very specific stipulations for my cats yeah oh you like uh

yeah they are covered what's her name uh remember that uh real rich lady

leona helmsley yeah with her dog got like 25 billion or something

i have i have them i i have them taken care of in perpetuity oh yeah nice and

If anything happens to them, if they die of anything but natural causes,

the caretaker doesn't get that money.

Oh, yeah.

So if they think the cats got murdered, perhaps so if they think they're going to take on my cats and fucking kill them, snap their necks in a year or two to get that cash, it ain't happening.

That's good.

Oh, fuck around.

That's like a weekend at Bernie's type of plot for a movie.

Three cats

with broken necks.

No, no, like a comedy where the caretaker of your dead cats is trying to keep them healthy and they just keep going on adventures and getting out of the house.

Yeah, that's what I'm doing.

Oh, the cats do?

That's a a good idea, running into running in traffic, and he's got to like snatch them up before they get hurt, right?

Yeah,

there's some, there's some, there's a bad movie there, yeah, for sure.

It wasn't like Jason Alexander in a movie like that.

I don't know,

there's all those crawl movies.

Um, there was one more thing I wanted to say.

One more thing,

and I can't remember what the wrap is.

Yeah, we've been going for I like this running clock, too.

Yeah, right, yeah, what do you say?

Running clock, yeah, right on the floor.

Oh, yeah, right there.

So, you know, now we're 24, yeah, now

flew,

flew,

Yeah.

Flew.

What does that mean?

Flew by.

Oh, oh.

Yeah.

That's that one new.

Am I getting those trade paperbacks?

Yeah, I guess that's it.

Oh, we were supposed to.

I think it must be next week that Cinco

TSD Mayo.

Oh, that starts next week, right?

Do we have any kind of

something this week?

Celebrate this week.

We'll have a celebration next week.

Celebration?

Yeah.

I mean, with the Patreon, though, I think every fucking month is

TSD Cinco de Mayo.

Except for the people that aren't on Patreon.

They're like, yeah, well, what about us?

If you're not on, then

you don't deserve to celebrate.

Oh, really?

All right.

Why am I busting my ass for them?

Really?

Why am I busting my ass for those people?

That's true.

But

I did hear

through certain channels that people who aren't on Patreon, maybe this is a departure.

Usually you're like, some people don't have the money, you know, worry about it.

I don't begrudge them, but come on, don't expect me to fucking do cartwheels

and create

some sort of event for Cinco TSD Mayo

when all I'm doing is like, you know, I'm constantly, you know, trying to get the Patreon content.

So it's like you can only, you know.

We'll figure it out.

We'll figure it out.

I'm not saying it's on you.

If you guys want to know.

I'll get some streamers, some poppers, party poppers.

Get some crepe paper.

Yeah.

Put it up.

Yeah.

We'll come up with something this week for you and I think it could be in the the winter then.

I'm just gonna get smashed on margaritas.

Yeah, how about that?

We'll go to a Mexican place, we'll get wasted, and we'll do like a live stream.

Can you guys, is the store open on Memorial Day now?

Yes, we are.

Oh, so could you do Monday?

Yeah,

absolutely.

There we go.

You're going to come and get smashed.

I'm going to cut to Red Bank early.

I'm going to go to Carlos O'Connor's and we'll just get smashed.

No, I'll sleep at the stage.

Yes.

I'll get my assistants to drive me.

Oh, okay.

All right.

Certainly, that's under her purview.

Yeah.

You know.

The common man over here with his assistant drivers.

Tell him, Steve, Dave.