#400.1: Making Haystory

Ladies and gentlemen of the press.

This is my time to shine.

Mike, do you want to touch it with the ten foot fold?

Let's go.

Okay, Mike, touch it.

I was waiting for this podcast to be aborted.

I didn't think it was

boom, it's a roasting

first.

I want to know how many times, Sunday Jeff, do you go on the internet and it's not accidental?

I'm going to tell you something.

Tell them, Steve Dave.

Hello, and welcome to Tell'em Steve Dave episode 400.1

Shocking our listeners with a second anniversary episode.

A second installment.

Nobody would have predicted it.

Yeah, if everybody's real quiet, you could hear people's socks being blown off from across the country.

Yeah, and we have a full house here.

It may be the fullest house.

It's maybe the record for the most guests on a TSD episode.

Maybe eclipsing 300, possibly.

The roast?

How many people are on the roast?

This is more.

Let's do the math, everyone.

We're going to get sued by Netflix.

This house is so full.

Fullest house.

So we've got a lot of people here.

Go around, introduce everyone.

Well, I mean,

we were doing a big...

What's your name?

A big game show episode because, I mean,

to celebrate episode 400, I thought, what better way than to

bring all our the TSD family, the extended family in, and to not only

bring all the TSD family in, but to also an opportunity to

have another round of what I consider the greatest rivalry in podcasting today, the ISO Comics versus Tellum Steve Dave.

The rivalry is so strong recently, they refused to release an episode we recorded almost a year ago now to celebrate 300.

Gee, let me think, Brian.

I put myself in your place when you said you demanded that we release that episode 300.

And I'm like, gee, what would Brian do?

Oh, he'd tell me to go fuck myself.

So, Brian, go fuck yourself.

But you're going to be wow.

I still have the file, so I could just release it.

You should.

That's why this is the greatest grush match in podcasting today.

Do you hear that?

Outside of podcasting, we love each other.

Man, it's amazing.

It's like Pacquiao and Meriwether.

It's like, I mean, the trash talking, it's just unbelievable.

Wait a minute.

Who's the one wearing the women's panties and the panty, you know, the stockings and all that?

Huh?

Who are you talking about?

I don't mean it doesn't mean that's going to tell us because

I think it did.

Shit, we're checking out.

But you're right.

The full hatch.

Want to go and introduce everybody?

Good, God.

All right.

Well,

start with Ming Chen.

Hello, everybody.

Fan favorite from the beginning, wouldn't you say?

Oh, yeah.

It's there from the very start.

And you encouraged him to start his own podcast.

You said you would love to see a Mike and Ming show.

Mike Zampson.

I don't list that on my resume very often.

But today I will, though, yes.

Did they ever give you royalties for using the song you wrote as a title of their podcast?

Did you guys work out a deal on that?

When we make money off of our podcast,

he's the first one getting paid.

Mike, get that contract out that we signed.

You got it.

i've got i've got shares in exactly all right that's what i'm getting at okay it's like bitcoin one day

or owning a piece of get him's backyard cryptic currency it's extremely volatile i'll give you the heads up on that

everybody knows q yes hello hi everybody welcome to the other side of 400 but uh also another another guy who um who bucked the odds became a like a basically a matinee idol of telepsieve d A mythical figure.

Sunday Jeff.

Hello.

Yep.

Definitely.

Also, very early on, very early member guest on Tellum Steve Dave, and he's he stayed with us.

He's been there from the beginning.

And despite his complete inability

to string together a coherent sentence, he succeeds.

He's not.

It's my language.

I got to say,

you're like our Paul Rudd.

Like, everybody loves you.

Everybody just wants to see more of you.

Everybody just thinks you're the gosh darn best.

But

if they thought about it, they'd be like, but why?

Like, why do I?

Yeah, why do you think they just don't think about it?

They don't think about it.

He's just got that genise quai.

Yeah, that's how the friend is.

Yeah.

And Troy.

All right, let's go.

Officer Troy.

I just spent

New Year's Eve with Officer Troy.

Oh, yeah?

Yeah, it was eventful.

In jail?

That's it?

I really can't say anything.

Would you be allowed to talk about it?

Would you go on patrol?

A ride-along?

Yeah.

Oh, I don't know.

Can I go on a ride along?

Absolutely.

I've been telling you for years you should come by.

Can we both come at the same time?

Absolutely.

What are we doing?

Can you sign out a patty wagon?

Do we have a little badges?

Oh, do we got little badges?

Yeah, we have little community affairs has them to give out to the little kids and they have coloring books and stuff.

Cop and a half.

If you think that's not good enough for us,

you just lit up my fucking night.

That means one of you have to sit in the back, though.

You can't fit two people in the front seat.

We probably have to both sit in the back.

We're riding along.

You can't fit two people in a cop car in a front seat?

No, the well, actually, in the MARC cars, they have like a computer in the middle, but in the unmarked cars, yeah, you could.

I'll go in the back cars.

Is that your book's been telling you the whole time?

Right on, right off there.

But as if you pick up a perp, though, and he has got to go in the back seat with those guys, though.

If he's got his deputies with him, we're definitely picking up a purpose.

Absolutely.

Got a colonel.

Yeah, I mean, I probably couldn't stop you from trying to buy drugs, and I would have to do something.

So I'm the deputy.

I'm the first.

I went bad within an hour.

Who else we got here?

Father Lance.

Hello, Talon CJ Pal.

Wow.

Father Lance, we don't see you that much, but when we do.

For very, very special occasions.

We break out, Father Lance.

Do you still text with Father Lance about sports and stuff?

Absolutely.

I didn't text with him lately because I know his Steelers are in a disarray, so I've been kind of quiet.

For the most part,

we talk text quite often over sports.

Anytime you do ever text about religious stuff or just spiritual things?

He sent me some spiritual messages that really helped me from time to time, just like, you know.

But like a text?

Through text.

Like a picture of Jesus.

No, just like wishing my family, blessing my family on Christmas and stuff like that.

Brian's going to hell.

I've got my number, Lance.

I don't think I've gotten one blessing.

In fact, I can tell you for sure I haven't.

Just one.

They all go this guy.

The fucking social justice warrior of Columbus Town.

If anyone's going to stand up for the rights of the marginalized and oppressed and whatever other fucking buzzword is popular this week, it's going to be Chris Lagondo.

Hello, everyone.

I'm a very sharp-looking polo.

I was going to say,

but Donald doesn't work.

He's one of those guys that, like, they're getting better looking the older they get, man.

He's looking all sharp put together.

You know, it's a little bit of gray in his hair.

Yeah, it makes him look distinguished.

Too handsome for true TV, is what you're saying.

No, I don't know if there's such a thing, man.

That Carbonaro is a good-looking guy.

He is.

Paul and Walnuts.

I just got

totally.

He said poly walnuts.

Look good ding.

It's better than Ghostbusters.

And then that is true.

Frank Five.

Another guy.

Fan favorite.

Listener favorite.

Neck and neck with Sunday Jeff.

Do you guys.

Oh, really?

You're going to defer to Sunday Jeff, huh?

He's definitely better.

Yeah.

Real.

Incoherent sentences.

Really?

Frank stop.

Wife's sitting next to you.

Don't be saying that because she'll agree.

You got to introduce.

The missus.

I'll introduce what are they called?

The better half, right?

Do you consider yourself the better half of

the fives?

The two fives?

Yes, I do.

Like, when you go out with decent folk, right?

People like you, they are not really that turned on to Frank Five, I would imagine.

Yeah, absolutely.

She's delusional.

Frank Five.

Frank Five, anyone even your friends can see that.

You're not as likable as she is.

So you got the fives.

You forgot somebody.

Oh, get them?

Howdy all.

Get him, Steve Dave.

Certainly not in the mix for fan favorite.

I disagree.

I disagree.

Not in the beginning.

I mean, I've seen people wish death upon him, though.

Well, I don't know.

I say in a mirror.

For God's sake.

I have not wished

that work for Frank Vaughan.

No, I have not seen anybody wish their demise.

Love that polarizing aspect to it.

He's the heel of Tom Steve Dave, right?

Yeah, he's sometimes the heel.

He's the heel of life.

He is

a heel of bread.

I think people do.

I thought people turned the corner.

There's definitely, we definitely.

Well, something's wrong with them because that is a sweet, lovely man right there.

Plus, he gave you that awesome Christmas present.

I'm not saying it's because of that.

I thought you said mammoth.

I was like, wow.

No, no.

That's just not mammoth.

Very thoughtful, very thoughtful young man.

So I thought for episode 400, we would have...

Remember, episode 400 was awesome.

This is 400.

4.1.

Sorry.

Don't get me started, please.

This is how much people loved it.

All right,

let's start over.

Classic episode.

I thought we would do a Tell them Steve Dave experience for this episode where we would play mini rounds of some of the more favorite events that we've had.

Little games.

And some new games as well tonight.

Almost all the games here tonight or activities involve podcasting.

So if you're a podcaster, you should do well tonight.

And there is no

prize or championship at the end of tonight.

Or point even.

I just thought some old-fashioned, you know, bragging rights, you know, for once

instead of having to play for some sort of

cash, costly prize.

Skin.

So, Mike and Ming, let's just, let's, for sake of argument, you guys win.

Okay.

Who's the first person you brag to?

It's got to be the missus, right?

No, yeah.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

It's definitely Debbie Chen.

Yeah, I'm going home and waking the wife up.

Guess what I did?

She's shut the fuck up.

You know, she's going to care.

But Mary Beth, come on.

You know that you're going to go right home.

If you lose, it's like, does she, is she extra nice to you

to try to cheer you up if you lose her?

She can calm you down.

You're not a loser.

And it's like, well, there's nowhere to go now.

So even if you win tonight, she goes,

I won Mary Beth.

And she's like, what'd you win?

And it's like, bragging, right?

Did you?

I listened to episode 200.

They were giving all the real prizes on Telm Steve Dave.

You won?

So.

I won, I won.

Now, like I said,

I consider I Saw Comics versus Tellum Steve Dave the greatest grudge match on podcast right now.

Right.

But we're adding a new wrinkle tonight.

We're adding a third team to the mix.

Oh, man.

An expansion team.

Who's won the bid for the expansion?

Officer Troy and Sunday Jeff.

Wow.

Jeez.

Wow.

Congratulations, gentlemen.

Those guys, surely they talk all the time.

Texas,

they know each other.

Finish each other's sentences.

They vacation in Key West together.

I just thought their personalities would just generate a lot of content, a lot of like great,

you know, what's it called when you're compatible.

I just thought they were very compatible.

Chemistry.

Chemistry is everything.

Sympatico.

Yeah.

So I thought that these guys are going to be now like the, everybody roots for the new guy.

So you're going to be the underdog.

Yeah, the young, the fresh fish.

They're all going to be all over these guys.

So you guys are going to have to try to beat

the newcomers tonight.

This is awkward, but we were all just at dinner together, and Jeff was sitting right next to me, and I was talking across the table to Brian the entire time.

I don't think I talked about that.

They didn't even consult on the menu, which is odd.

We're sitting next to it.

The only fish I had was what I ate.

That's it.

Yeah.

Yeah.

So it was something.

Jeff had fish.

He did.

Yes, he did.

And he had a steak.

He had a salmon.

He had the organic salmon.

Yeah, I'm not a big steak eater.

You knew you were playing

steaks tonight and you went with fish?

Yeah.

so don't fuck yourself, asshole.

I gotta say,

I gotta say, I'm looking at what he's eating.

I'm like, why the fuck would anyone do that to him?

It's so not a big steak eater.

It was good.

Poor bastard.

It was really good.

Was he the only one who had seafood?

I was not.

Somebody, one other person, did.

Okay.

No.

The dishwasher.

All right.

So you have to eat what's on.

So you're the free fish.

It'd be fucking great.

I fucking love this country.

Damn right.

So we got the three teams, and now we'll announce our judges.

Got Father Lance will be judging tonight.

I thought, how awesome is it to have a real father in here judging?

and scoring tonight.

I thought that's what I mean.

Is that all you do?

Well, just judge.

Well, judge because you're a priest, and I've seen his wife.

I know my wife's scoring all the time.

He's a fucknut.

He's a sexy guy.

Right?

Where is she?

Am I right?

Right?

All right.

Well, men of God in the house.

See, this is why he doesn't text you spiritual shit.

Can I make a suggestion?

Sure.

To raise the competition level to honor TSESD history, I say they play for the naming rights to all new Pucknuts.

I don't think anybody even listens to Pucknuts.

It's behind the paywall now.

Well, I think the TSD listeners.

Can you cut that part of my wife?

Also judging tonight, Chris Lodondo.

Another guy who judges a lot, right?

Totally.

Yeah.

Oh, he judges everyone on Twitter, Facebook, Instagram.

And joining

Chris, Frank Five,

and Mrs.

Five.

And you're not judging as a team.

You're your own voice tonight, Mrs.

Five.

First time.

Congratulations.

It's the 1920s again.

Suffering.

Which sounds similar to mine.

We're turning suffering into

a judgmental pair on

the family.

The least judgmental too.

But there is a.

I mean, you know, you got me.

There was a reason why I made Frank the judge because we're playing an old favorite tonight, and it demanded that Frank be judgment

in that part of the podcast tonight.

So, in other words, you only used you because you had to.

You guys ready to begin with a new game?

A game we've never played before?

Yeah, it's called All Apologies.

It's where I give you a multiple-choice question regarding a real-life situation that resulted in an apology.

Guess right and get 20 points.

Guess wrong, and you get a scenario that you must issue an apology for.

The judges will reward a score

from one to five based on what get them

a how sincere the apology is, B, how groveling the apology is, and C, how encompassing how

you fucked up

148, 148, 1,400, 148,

and it's the only thing.

You know what Giddam told me today?

He doesn't want to do retakes.

He's like on one take, one take.

How encompassing the apology is.

Number C.

Number number C.

How encompassing.

There we go.

Get him.

I'm reading off the apartment.

Recover, get him, recover, get him.

Don't let them shake.

Yeah, I know, but don't let them shake.

And C, how all-encompassing the apology is.

Nice.

Okay, so you guys get it?

Yep.

Yeah.

Now you'll have.

But wait, I'm sorry, I got one to find.

Just one claim.

How do you avoid giving the apology if you guessed the apology?

If you guessed the multiple choice, where I give you a real-life situation in the real world where someone had to issue an apology, you guess right, give them multiple choice, you get 20 points.

Get it wrong, and then your team has to issue an apology.

So it's possible that all three teams are issuing an apology in one round.

Yes.

Got it.

Okay, I got it.

And you'll have a minute 30 to deliver your apology on the clock.

Is it a team apology?

It has to be.

It's a team apology.

Somebody has to finish, start it, and somebody has to finish.

Okay.

All right.

So we will never win.

Sincerity.

Showing.

Yeah.

Encompassing or not.

Okay.

Wow.

All right.

So we really got to guess right.

Yeah.

Because that apology game is.

90-second apology.

Sarah.

I really, really, really, really.

I'm sorry for you, right?

90-second.

I think you could add up all the apologies in my life.

I knew I was putting

one arm behind your back tonight in this game, but that's why I wanted to do it because you guys, I don't see you guys.

You're the alpha dogs.

You never apologize to anybody, right?

Sure.

Well,

I would apologize

for anything at any given time if I meant this.

I will.

Do just tell me what's upset you.

I don't see you groveling.

When's the last time you groveled?

I don't think I have groveled.

It sucks.

Let me tell you, it does.

Well, when was the last time you groveled?

Oh, my God.

Any number of times.

Before the mics went hot.

I honestly, that's an interesting question.

I don't think I've ever groveled.

No?

Never begged?

I'm so sorry.

Maybe some of that shit, I guess.

I don't know.

I don't remember.

Do you guys want to go first?

Or do you guys would prefer to let another team go first so you can see how the game is played?

This is very foreign to you guys.

It sounds like Oh, I fucking get him explained.

I personally can't wait.

Troy, yeah, that's what I'm waiting for you.

All right, guys.

Would you like to read the first question, get him?

Do you trust me?

Yes, I do.

Okay.

Okay.

Okay.

Expansion team, you ready?

Jeff and Troy, are you ready?

Yes.

I'm ready.

All right.

What CEO apologized for eating at Chick-fil-A?

Chick-fil-A?

Chick-fil-A.

Chick-fil-a.

It is?

Chick-fil-A.

for years.

It's a sneaker.

Chick-fil-A.

Holy fuck.

You should apologize for saying that.

I've been calling it.

Okay, wow.

All right.

I know.

You got a film.

Chick-fil-A.

Chick-fil-A.

Chick-fil-A.

Okay.

This is so.

Wood CEO apologized for eating a Chick-fil-A.

A.

Tesla's.

Tesla's Elon Musk.

Is he okay?

Why do you come here and check that?

I am drinking with you guys before.

No, that's what I'm saying.

Are you all right, pal?

Yeah.

I already looked at eating like pink chips off the top of the water.

Take a breath, bro.

I know.

It took all that time to paint.

Reset, Game.

Don't let him get to you.

It's good.

Do you want me to finish this?

Never let him see you.

We'll CEO apologize for eating the Chick-fil-A.

Yes.

A, Tesla's Elon Musk.

B, Twitter's Jack Dorsey.

C, Amazon's Jeff Bezos.

Or D, Fakes Books Mark Zuckerberg.

There's somebody champs laughing at you.

I think it's either Jack Dorsey or Zuckerberg.

I think it might be Jack Dorsey.

Somebody just like, what's Twitter?

How's my Twitter?

How's my Twitter going?

What's Chick-fil-A?

Take away Twitter, take away Facebook.

Let's see, what do we got left?

Amazon's Jeff Bezos or Tesla's Elon Musk.

What did they apologize for?

For eating a Chick-fil-A or Chick-fil-A.

The owner of Chick-fil-A is religious and disclosed on Sundays and is against their marriage.

So

they apologize for supporting a business.

By the way, why the hell you apologize?

I mean,

there's one guy on the mall now.

But you have a great job.

It's Jack Dorsey.

Oh, man.

Sunday, Jeff, we need another.

You have to love their beliefs.

Dorsey?

Dorsey.

Twitter's Jack Dorsey.

That's what we're going with.

Correct.

20 points.

He saved your ass.

That's all right.

He knows that.

That's what police are supposed to do.

Catch your partner's ass, right?

Catch their ass.

Save their ass.

Save their ass.

I'm sorry, Father.

Now, judges,

I'm really curious to like what, like, you deal in apologies a lot, right, Father Lance?

I mean, that's all you hear, probably, right, all day long is people apologizing, and you have to, like, give them like Hail Marys or remember our fathers.

I don't hear confessions.

Oh, you don't hear.

So you, okay.

So what would you put that apology?

Did you feel that was warranted?

That should have, should Jack Dorsey have apologized for that?

No.

And judges?

Chris would.

Fuck yeah.

Really?

You really feeling?

No, not at all.

All right.

So off to a great start.

Wow.

Jeff and Troy,

this is for TSD.

Okay, the next question is for Team TESD.

All right.

Are you ready?

Yes.

Okay, let's hope I am.

Who apologized for calling Carrie Fisher, quote, the most beautiful creature I had ever seen?

She turned out to be witty and bright as well.

Is it A, Mark Hamill?

Steve Martin.

P, B,

B, Peter Mayhew.

C, Steve Martin,

or D, Chevy Chase.

Steve Martin.

You're talking to two

one and a quarter titans of the industry.

We're in the club, man.

People are not going to know this.

Correct?

20 points.

Wow.

Wow.

Thank you.

That's right.

Good job, guys.

Without hesitation.

Yeah, because I remember thinking that was bullshit that they made an apology.

Why don't you chew an R on there instead of 20?

Sorry.

Yeah, why is there an at symbol on there?

All right.

Ready?

Yes.

Witch network recently issued an apology for killing off a gay character despite the fact that the actress had chosen to leave.

off

that really you have to respect it.

But at some point, it's just the same

phrase differently.

Yeah, but you have to find the joy in the phrasing.

I mean, that was fucking.

I know he's found it for everyone.

No, look at all.

Look at all happy.

So fucking the craft.

Continue.

Continue the point.

Look how miserable I am in those

shirtless

witch network recently issued an apology for killing off a gay character despite the fact that the actress had chosen to leave the show to fulfill other commitments.

Is it A, AMC?

B, CBS,

C, the CW, or D, B E T?

Another pitted against each other.

You're a big one.

I thought it was a confession from you, Brian.

It was a tough one, boys.

I know, yeah, that's what I would guess.

I mean, I haven't watched regular TV in a long time.

And you've been watching Boston Legal on Netflix.

Yeah, I don't watch that.

Something from like 80 years ago.

I love that everyone's watching fucking Bird Box and like Black Mirror.

You're like, I'm watching Boston Legal.

Why not?

Why not?

Why?

Well, because Ellie McBeal isn't on it.

And William Shatner.

I like Shatner.

Yeah.

Well, that's what I mean.

I would have to say the CW.

Yeah.

CW.

Yes, I concur.

You concur, Giddam.

What's the right answer?

Correct.

CW.

Oh, wow.

I thought of the characters from The Walking Dead.

That died.

Yeah.

All right.

Back to Team Jeff and Troy, right?

Yes.

Everybody has 20 points on the board if you don't have video.

thanks, Gatum.

All right.

Don't have video, it's written on two old cardboard systems.

Well, for people listening, this episode is on the

video is on Patreon, though.

Oh, yeah?

Yeah.

So you can get to see this thing, you know, not only hear it if you're on Patreon.

All right, Gatum.

Number six.

Number six for Team Jeff and Troy.

Which airline apologized for an airline employee that mocked a five-year-old name and posted it on social media?

The name was

ABCDE, pronounced AB City.

Correct?

Ab City.

Ab City.

Okay.

A, Southwest Airlines.

B, JetBlue.

C, American.

Or D, Delta.

First, I want to know how many times, Sunday Drift, do you go on the internet and it's not accidental?

How often do I go in there looking for something?

This is the kind of thing I'm like, there's no way he's aware of it.

No.

Troy light.

Troy Light.

Troy, definitely.

Yeah.

because this is the kind of shit troy would immediately text text me

uh i believe southwest

that is correct whoa

we're not getting any apologies though troy sorry well sorry

sorry that we're getting them right wow i'll give you a three on sincerity yeah

what was your feeling about that chris should uh should they have apologized I don't know.

Yeah, yeah.

Because the name is pretty freaking ridiculous.

Well, here's the thing.

They're not laughing at the little girl.

They're laughing at the mother.

Talk about the mother.

That name is dopey.

It just is.

It's totally dopey.

All right.

Next up is Team T.

There you go.

Next up is Team TSD.

Are you ready?

Oh, yeah.

Okay.

What animal did a California Aquarium social media account have to apologize for posting a photo with the words like thick and chunk?

Is it A, a dolphin?

B, a pufferfish?

C, an otter, or D, a jellyfish.

Want to handle this one, my friend?

I would love to.

Much like my friend, my smooth, hairless friend Ming Chen, right here, it was an otter.

Correct, that is correct.

Correct.

Wow.

Whoa, Walt.

You had to be upset about that one, all right?

About the otter?

Yeah.

No, Walt, I don't care anymore about it.

Oh, you've given up?

I gave it up.

Trump, Trump, Trump.

You was it.

You was it.

I think it's Otter 2020.

The outrage is kind of getting ridiculous.

Wow.

A lot of young people.

Maybe you're sick of the outrage?

It's kind of ridiculous.

Why are you here then?

I don't know.

Something like that is so manufacturing.

Are you trying to tell him to kill himself?

No.

I'm just saying.

Comments.

Most people are in support of it.

It's like people just fucking around.

Like, calm the fuck down.

Okay.

All right.

Go with this one.

Team I saw comics.

Are you ready for your question?

Let's go.

Which Olympic gold medalist had to issue an apology to the special Olympic community after dressing up like Simple Jack from Tropic Thunder?

Is it A, Apollo Ono?

B, Sean White, C, Hussain Bolt, or D, Michael Phelps?

I think it's got to be Apollo Onari.

Why do you think that?

I don't know.

Because

that was the first one he said.

I have no fucking school.

Your choice.

That's Sean White's a loose cannon.

Snowball.

What did you say?

He did smoke pot.

Sean White.

He did.

I thought he was just in the room.

I thought White was just in the room.

It was fast.

I'll agree with you.

Go for it.

Apollo Ono.

Apollo Ono.

Wrong.

Incorrect.

Oh, no.

Jack got good brain.

That's good, guys.

That was a correct answer.

It was Sean White.

But that's okay.

Now we're into something good now.

Nobody wants to listen to people getting right answers.

That's boring as hell.

No, I agree.

I agree.

That's why they listen to TESD.

That's why I pretend I was hypnotized.

I didn't want a boring episode.

All right.

Still telling that line.

It's fucking method acting.

All right.

He was committed.

What can you say?

Mike and Ming, this is your scenario, but you must apologize to the judges.

So you will be writing down a score between

how many judges scores between one and five.

A perfect score gives you 20, just what I got with the right score.

Okay.

Time begins when.

One being the worst, five being the absolute best apology you ever heard.

And remember, guys, it's about groveling.

Okay.

It's about

sincerity.

Encompassing and sincerity.

Okay.

Time begins when you finish reading.

You got the timer, Ming?

Yep.

I got the timer ready.

Ming.

These two are Flinton.

No.

Flannon's son.

Flannon and Son.

Oh, man.

They took a hit after that.

I called Gid and Ming.

That's my only boo-boo so far, I think.

It's a big boo-boo.

So, you retweet a video of your child solving a Rubik's Cube insanely fast with the hashtag world's fastest RubikCube solver.

You are immediately assaulted with messages that the colorblind people have no idea what's going on, and they are just watching someone spin a square around, apologize for the insensitive video you posted.

I feel like this one is up there, Chris.

So, start the tire, get it?

Let's start it.

Go.

Okay.

Ladies and gentlemen, I'm so sorry that you are unable to enjoy colors the way that normal human beings are.

Normal.

Normal.

Not that you're not normal,

of course.

Good recovery.

I'm sure you can enjoy things that we can't like seeing in black and white.

Yes, exactly.

Thank you, Brian.

I don't know how much much more I can truly apologize because you're fucking colorblind.

Who gives you shit?

Listen a minute.

You're watching me spin a square around?

My kid?

My kid, I'm proud of my kid.

You should be proud of your children.

I don't know him.

That's sincere.

I know what I did was wrong.

I just didn't think the excitement came over me.

And, you know,

listen, I post a lot of things, and sometimes I don't think about what I post, and you know, I don't, I, I post for my own enjoyment, not for other people's enjoyment, or, or to other people's detriment, and and I'm sorry, I didn't mean to offend you whatsoever, and I'll never do it again.

Wow, you are such a gal.

If you missed anything for sincerity, I'll be sure.

How much time?

Time is up.

Wow, that was, I mean, that's spoken like a man who's definitely had the grovel, huh?

Many times.

That's many times.

You even had the water in your eyes.

A little bit, yeah.

Was it water?

Sure, water to that vlog, right?

You're just never going to stop.

All right, Father Lance, did you write down a numerical score?

I'm writing it down.

You had one job, Father.

And then after you reveal your number, and then you can tell us why you gave that number.

Okay.

Team ISO Comics is getting a 2.5 out of 5.

Okay.

I felt Ming's groveling was

pathetic, as it should have been.

Isn't groveling pathetic, though?

Right, sorry.

It should be pathetic.

Okay, okay, that's good.

It's good.

Okay, that's clarifying.

What about your own?

Now,

I

gave Mike sincerity points since he flipped out and flipped the script on.

That didn't work against him?

Well,

he could have got five, you know, if they were both sincere, but since he

Mike

groveled but was insincere, might have

grovel and was sincere.

Yeah, Mike, Mike got angry.

Yeah, Mike should have gotten a zero, right?

His anger was sincere, but he wasn't apologizing.

Right, which defeats apologizing, though.

You can't come back with more attitude.

He has to act the way anyone would act when

apologizing to the wife.

Yes.

Take sincerity.

You're like, I'm going to say.

Don't double down.

Yes, exactly.

Listen, unless my wife's colorblind, I am not apologizing to anyone.

All right.

Mike, I would argue you should have said that, in a sense, you're colorblind because you chose an Asian lover.

I have to take that from him.

Oh, come on.

Well, the expression.

Yeah,

you weren't a cop, I swear to God.

That's too much.

You can't choose who you love.

So, two-point

five.

You tell them,

well, pretty well.

And he apologized for

Mike's flip.

It's not higher than that.

All right, all right, all right.

I mean, I swear to God, I mean, the guy put his

manhood on the table.

Really?

Like every other danger.

I didn't see

anything.

All right, 2.5.

Do you want to change the score for?

I was going to wait until everybody.

Are you going to remember that?

I mean, you're

going to have to go to the house.

A shaky start as it is.

Are they going to remember 2.5?

I'll write it down.

Who knows this?

All right, Chris.

So, I mean, Mike is

right out the gate, Mike is insulting the colorblind community.

So, that really just took a hit.

He had the opportunity to save himself, but he didn't.

It just got worse and worse.

Zero for Mike.

And then Ming saved it.

I actually, if

I believe Mink, he really sounded apologetic.

So, out of a perfect score of five,

zero for Mike, 2.5.

Whoa.

Okay.

So, so far, a total of five points.

Okay, I'm sorry.

2.5 is five, by the way.

But if you look at Ming's face, like, if you look at his expression, he's not sincere.

Frank five.

Okay, so

I gave them a

2.0, the worst score so far.

Two.

That was like Jamie Farr a little bit.

Like, I feel like I'd be on the gun show, right?

Yeah.

I'm not in dress.

I felt, not yet.

I felt that

they both really weren't too sincere.

Not even Ming?

No, I didn't buy it with Ming.

It just seemed like it was a bad thing.

No, Ming was pretty groveling.

And to be honest with you, you have to really get behind your apology about the colours.

And the colorblind I do that flying fuck about.

That's why I call Ming my apology.

I had a lot of people apologize.

Why do I come on?

Tell him Speak Dave again.

I keep forgetting that's what I'm saying.

Frank five has

set it up like that, though.

That was your fault though.

Frank Five,

I agree with you.

You said get behind.

You put the ball on the tee, someone's gonna sniff it out.

Somebody's gonna hit it.

Frank Five can sniff it out.

He's a school teacher.

So you've had a lot of people apologize to you.

In what scenario?

Oh, definitely grovel.

Oh, groveling.

It's constant.

Something's turned out.

Somebody's been more groveling

than Ming was, yeah.

All right.

Wow.

Okay.

I don't agree with that, Ming.

So far, if you've got a judge, I saw Professor Five dog ate my homework.

Fortunately, you're not a judge, so it doesn't.

The tears in your eyes, I thought it was going to be the

sympathy getter.

I did my best.

This is five, though, as

the only female on the panel.

What does that mean?

Well, I think that she may be more.

Wow.

Wow.

Let her speak.

Hold on.

I want to hear this.

I've been with Frank for over 18 years, so there's been a lot of apologizing from him for different things.

So he's been more groveling than that.

Well, maybe not groveling, but more sincere.

We're threatening.

I'm just better.

I give him a one.

I give Ming a one for graveling, and that's it.

Wow.

So he's insincere.

You know he's married.

So now the teams know that the judges are harsh.

They're not giving away three points.

You're going to have to earn everything you get tonight.

And I respect Mrs.

Five because she's like, look, for too long, men have sat in judgment.

That's right.

I like it.

Wow.

All right.

All right.

So 2015.

That's a minority.

She's judging like that.

What chance do we have?

I am going to change the game on the fly because I'm not going to give you guys a multiple choice.

You guys are going to have to apologize.

You're going to have to apologize scenarios because I want at least every team to give an apology.

All right?

Sound good?

Yep.

Is there a negative

negative points?

Jeff and Troy,

here's your apology scenario.

It is the end of the Baseball World Series, and the New York Yankees have defeated the Los Angeles Dodgers.

You tweet Yankees rule, much like your baseball cap right now.

You would probably tweet that, right?

Troy.

I don't care.

Maybe a little bit more.

Okay.

West of the Mississippi, people are furious and demand an apology for shaming the West Coast fans during their most trying time.

Some West Coast fans have threatened a boycott of the Sunday Jeff Show if you don't grovel and just deliver an apology worth apology.

You know, off-the-charts apology right now.

So I tweet Yankees rule, but they're both taken out on Jeff.

Well, both you guys in this scenario.

Yeah, Jeff rotates it.

What's a tweet?

So a minute 30 on the clock.

You can leave.

Okay.

Go.

Ladies and gentlemen, the press.

We're at a press conference.

Let me go.

Buck press.

It's come to my attention of untasteful and very wrong tweets that were sent after our luxurious victory.

I was hacked.

Still am

we are the Yankee organization is very

honest.

This is my time to shine.

We're very sorry about

what has transpired through the internet, the internet world.

45 seconds.

Yankee fans.

You know, where you'll have to go in a certain order, right?

He needs silence.

My sincerity is trying to come out, but I just don't have the words.

How much time?

Got 30 seconds.

Oh, yeah, but Troy get there.

I'm sorry.

I was raised to be told that to be a good winner is as important to be as

not to be a sore loser.

So it was wrong to be boastful about the Yankees' win.

I shouldn't have even boasted since I had nothing to do with the team's victory.

I was merely watching.

I don't know what Yankees played, Jeff.

honestly didn't think that I would incur this type of wrath, that I may lose someday Jeff Show's listeners just because I simply showed excitement over a sporting event.

However, I do apologize for anybody you may have offended.

At this time, I wish to resign.

And again, though, like some defiance.

Some defiance at the end from Troy.

How's it defiance?

Some might say victim blaming.

Yeah,

you definitely were like, you didn't feel you should have to do this, but you're forced into it.

It's like when somebody's like, I'm sorry you feel that way.

I'm not sorry.

You're fucked up for thinking that way, and I'm sorry that you're so fucked up.

That's the way you believe.

That's not what I was going for, but I think that that's what you think.

As a general, do you deliver a lot of apologies?

No.

You're the general of the police, right?

I'm not injured.

Like at home, do you apologize on a regular basis like I do?

I mean, honestly, if I tell the kids I'm going to be somewhere, but I I wasn't able to make it because of work, I'll apologize.

I got caught up at work.

But generally,

so you're not used to it, I'm not used to apologizing.

I'm out of my comfort zone.

Out of your element.

Yeah.

Okay.

I don't give a fuck.

Just give it a long mess.

I'm doing bad.

All right, Father Lance.

Okay.

I'm going to give you a three

based on Troy's well-reasoned argument.

It would have have been higher, but for Sunday Jeff's incoherent rambling.

He made me look good.

I don't think he met any points on there.

Whereas Officer Troy brought in sportsmanship, sounded sincere.

Denial.

Pincha, pinch of groveling.

So we're going to be through.

And Sunday Jeff brought in the delusion of being a part of that Nikki's organization.

That's my chance to shine.

What were you thinking when you went to the press conference?

The press conference.

I want to do the press conference.

And then just spewed out a word salad.

Southwest.

You vomited a word salad.

And that is exactly why you can't kill the Sunday Jet show, no matter what you do or say wrong.

People are going to tune in.

That's right.

All right.

Chris.

I think

Troy was like the savior of like what Ming was to the Mike and Ming.

Apology.

Apology.

I wasn't angry.

Yep.

You were a little bit over.

I should have been.

So, yeah, so I gave them

their scores at a 3.25.

Oh, fuck.

What?

He just wanted to snap.

I was like, I can't do math.

So 3.25.

For a 148, that should be a snap.

I went to New Jersey Public Schools.

I'm good.

All right, 3.25.

All right.

So I give them a 2.5.

Wow.

Because he's just reusing the card that he used.

Oh, these are always a 0.5 on there.

with Jeff, I was lost.

I didn't realize it was an apology until the very end.

You don't understand me, man.

I just didn't understand.

You got it.

And with Troy, Troy seemed very matter-of-fact.

He seemed somewhat sincere and apologetic.

The only reason I didn't give Troy a higher score is because he didn't look at me and he didn't look at us when he was giving the apology.

Because I was ashamed.

You were ashamed to have been radical.

I was.

I kept my eyes panting downwards.

I was shamed.

Nobody even looked at Ming's body language.

I mean, he was spying.

Oh, somebody did.

He basically was a jellyfish, and nobody.

He tried to remain upright.

I can't believe that.

We're so harsh to ISO comics.

All right, Mrs.

Five.

I gave them

three.

Whoa!

Wow.

Wow.

And you said they're not giving away points over here.

No, no, no, no, Mrs.

Five.

I'm very.

This is almost like a course direction of the future.

Why did you give them a three?

On what planet did that deserve a three?

Because Troy's cute.

Those two fags aren't.

You know, I'm very cute.

Really?

On what planet does that get a three over what they did?

I think Troy was very sincere.

He explained the reasoning why, and he had a lot of things.

He was hostile, though, at the end.

But she's used to that.

Do you think

at the end?

He turned it around and made it about them rather than about him apologizing, though.

If I had it to do over again, I probably, when I was apologizing for showing team pride, wouldn't have worn the hat of the team.

And I'm apologizing.

At the press conference, yeah.

Your PR people should have told you to take the hat off.

I like that now.

It's definitely a press conference, too.

You would have been wrenching it in your hand.

Just like I'll handle it.

Flip your hat around.

All right.

All right.

So to catch people up on the scores,

we have Team ISO Comics at the rear with 28.

Team TSD in the middle with 40.

And Team Jeff and Troy with 51.75 points.

Thank you, Chris Lodonda.75.

All right, Team Tellum, Steve Dave.

Yeah.

You were caught on the beach.

Someone snapped a photo of you.

They saw your Kingdom Come Superman tattoo.

Yeah.

And they posted a picture of it.

And backlash is forming because some feel Superman is a symbol of white privilege.

You know the story.

The most privileged family on the most privileged planet decides to send their child of privilege off planet because things got a little rough.

You need to apologize faster than a speeding bullet before they bring out the kryptonite protest signs and it affects your TV show.

Oh, no.

I threw that in there.

I knew that little caveat at the end makes a difference.

Hold on.

Somebody hold this spine for me.

Somebody hold his spine.

Thank you.

Just keep it safe.

I'm going to need it.

You know how hard it was to split my attention between this and making a kingdom come joke at their expense?

All right, guys.

Go.

Wow.

Oh, man.

The thing about life is

you got to learn.

You got to grow.

You got to change.

I was with you when you got that tattoo.

A much younger man.

Not such a wise man as you are now.

Who?

Who out there can say that you haven't made decisions as a younger person that you regret later on because you didn't understand the implications of what that meant at the time?

And I do at times, when I'm putting on a shirt or getting out of the shower in the morning, understand what I have on my skin.

But I think to cover it up and pretend it never happened would be even more disrespectful.

Like let people see the man I was.

Because if we can't grow and change and get better, then what's the point of anything?

I would rather wear my shame and show people that you could learn.

Sorry.

The backbone.

Sorry, brother.

Sorry.

The backbone of religion is penance.

Yes.

And that's what he's doing right now.

He's paying penance.

He wanted, he told me earlier today, he was like, I deserve it.

He said, I deserve it.

I should have gotten it removed.

I should have used some of my TV money to get it removed.

And that's what I'm going to do now.

Now?

Because, yeah.

He was like, Thank you to all those people who brought it to my attention that it was really that important.

I knew it was, you know.

I'm sorry you guys had to teach me that lesson and that I wasn't wise enough to know it on my own.

But from the bottom of my heart, I appreciate you.

The only thing you shouldn't say is that you're not.

Can I have that spine back?

Can I have that spine back back then?

I don't know if I'll ever look at you the same way again.

I just got to wipe the shit off my lips.

Hold on one second.

I don't think either one of you apologized.

Oh, no.

No.

What are you talking about?

I said, I'm sorry you had to teach me this lesson.

I will say, though, that you guys have entered your scores, so I don't want to sway the judges, but you guys were looking at each other's eyes.

You never once looked at the judges, though.

Because we're responsible for the mess.

Are you at a press conference or were you just in your bench at home talking to Brian?

You couldn't figure it out.

We were doing a big home.

We were doing it on YouTube.

Oh, okay.

Father Lance, what do you give them?

The folly of youth.

That was good.

Penance.

You shed a tear.

That's how you give an apology.

Boom!

Boom!

Nice.

Oh, wow.

Is it a five or 0.5?

I can't tell.

Mike, it's hard to shake your head because, I mean, you cussed and you got so angry immediately.

You can't really be upset.

And you're apologizing.

You had your chance.

Oh, I didn't curse Prime Minister.

I apologize.

Didn't you?

Didn't he?

I don't think I cursed 0.2.

Yeah, he started yelling.

Yeah, dude.

You refuse to apologize.

We're going to replay it.

So you hear blind fury, dude.

Yeah, replay his apology.

You're fucking colorblind.

Who gives you shit?

Let's in a minute.

You're fucking colorblind.

Who gives you shit?

Let's get a minute.

You fucking clean.

Who gives you shit?

I mean, really, it's hard for now to shake your head and feel like you've been robbed when you have a lot of people.

Oh, no, no, I'm not.

I could.

Oh,

this is a tell them Steve Dave episode.

You feel like it's there in the tank.

The judges may be in the tank for TSD.

I wasn't going there, but since you brought it up.

There's a lot of game left.

You surely shouldn't get on the judges' beds.

Man, you got to rein in your

house.

There's no reigning him.

And what are you talking about?

He's a wild stallion.

stallion, I'll tell you.

He can't be tied down.

You two are gazing in each other's eyes, and you're tossing gay epithets at me.

No, it's it was.

I get staring through a camera lens and see nothing but like glass, but I got to look in another human's eyes when I apologize.

Wow, hold on, you said a human's eyes.

You were looking in that.

Chris, it was good, but wasn't perfect, but pretty damn close.

A 4.17.

Oh, yeah.

Wow.

Seriously, I've been a cashier for like 20 years of my life.

It's not that hard.

Most of it was hard to get.

Ranked five.

All right.

I thought it was very good.

I gave them a four.

Wow.

And I noticed Bride did make eye contact with the judges, or at least he looked in my eyes, I saw at one point.

She done quinn, huh?

All right, 4.4.

And yeah, so he made eye contacts, said that Q actually said that he deserved the punishment that he was getting.

So they opened up to it, admitted to being wrong.

I love the tears.

Thank you.

Here's something I do with Mary.

Oh, what you want to do is lick your palms, but then when you put them up by your eyes, it looks like you got tears.

Okay.

Just, you know, for next high budget.

Pro tip, everyone.

Pro tip.

4.0.

4.0.

Oh, nice.

Very quickly, Mrs.

Five, you can't respect a guy who's crying as he apologizes to you, right?

Right.

I don't have to take that.

Mrs.

Five, what's your final tally here?

Another four.

Why?

They were very sincere and honest.

Why?

Because that's what I told her.

But why, what made them get a four, though?

And I don't understand.

This man, Ming Chen,

he didn't.

Spare his soul.

What?

He wasn't laughing the whole time.

He didn't laugh at him.

He wasn't laughing.

His lip was quivering.

He was so crying.

It was fake.

It was weak.

Mine was real.

Those are all fake.

Yeah, this didn't really happen.

All right.

So we're on to the next round.

That's all apologies.

Oh, infinite.

We got kind of shtooked out of

another.

Yeah, they're down a turn.

Yeah, we're

no, no, no.

They started.

You might get the next round of something else, okay?

Yeah, Mike, don't argue it.

See what he did right there?

Give him a point, seven.

You guys discussed the problem

to not to just thank you.

Thank you.

One point for that.

I saved you another 20 minutes, too.

So,

of course.

All right, we can hear the jungle's in the room.

Get them.

Uh-oh.

We're about to go on Safari for some.

Where's your hat?

It's in the car.

Where's it?

There we go.

About to go on Safari for some elephants, boys.

Wow.

I saw comics.

You guys are going to be up first.

So we're playing a mini round of elephants in the room.

Okay.

I give each team a hard-to-discuss topic, and that team has the option to do a two-minute mini podcast on the topic, which judges will award a score of one to five again.

And get them, please read the criteria the teams will be judged upon.

All right, well, the teams will be judged on A, how enlightening the pod is, B, how sincere the pod is, C, did both team members participate equally in the pod?

And D, how entertaining the pod is.

If the topic is too dangerous, a team has one pass and may pass upon doing the pod to take an elephant physical challenge.

That is, if completed within the predetermined time, that team will get 12 points.

We need these points.

A few years ago, a Marvel executive shocked the comic world with this response to a question of sagging sales.

What we heard was that people didn't want any more diversity.

They didn't want female characters out there.

That's what we heard.

Whether we believe that or not, I don't know that's really true, but that's what we saw in sales.

We saw the sales of any character that was diverse, any character that was new, or female characters, anything that was not a core Marvel character, people were turning their noses up to it.

Do a podcast on this Marvel executives quote.

Or

use your pass and take an elephant physical challenge.

Mike, stood up.

Why is there any hesitation?

You're fucking I sell comics.

I know.

And you're like, I don't know.

This is a very, very touchy topic, though.

I wouldn't want to touch this one with a 10-foot pole.

Right.

Mike, do you want to touch it with a 10-foot pole?

Let's go.

Okay, Mike.

Touch it with a 10-foot pole.

I'm going to let it go.

I'm going to let it go.

Wow.

I'm a big man.

I'm going to let it go.

Michael.

Gotcha.

All right.

Hello, everybody.

Welcome to ISO Comics.

Diversity in Comics.

Diversity in Comics.

Yes.

All right.

We've got the.

first female-led Marvel movie coming out in March.

It's Captain Marvel.

Yes.

She's been around for almost 50 years.

Absolutely.

She was not a star in her own right in the beginning, but...

Okay, but do people want this?

The argument is that people only want the core Marvel characters.

Not true.

No diversity, no female characters, sagging sales.

You're a retailer.

Do you see this to be true?

We see all this stuff to be true.

There are sagging sales, but there are sagging sales across the boards.

So, uh, diversity,

they're not truly giving us really diverse characters.

They're actually taking the names, just shoving it into a sausage casing, a sausage casing of a male superhero, giving it the powers and the name.

And it's stupid.

So, they should actually just do stories based on stories.

And, you know, if Brian Johnson were here, I'd tell him to go fuck himself.

So, good.

So, it doesn't matter if they're black, red, white, purple, female, male, gay,

transgender.

It doesn't matter.

The story is good.

The story's going to be good.

Turnpike restaurant.

There you go.

So that's your argument then?

That the numbers stories?

The numbers don't lie, though.

Numbers don't lie, but I think it also has to do with

the fact that the stories aren't good.

They're not making them compelling.

Back in the day, Stan knew what he was doing.

And,

you know what?

He didn't write Shakespeare, but

he knew what he was doing, but the stories mattered.

And I think it doesn't matter.

You can plug in any character of any race, creed, or color and make the story matter.

All right.

So it has nothing to do with.

All he does is repeat what Mike says.

Exactly.

But here's the thing in hell.

My favorite comic book.

Saved by the Bell, literally.

Still going.

Well, I know we've already pre-filled out fives for entertaining.

It's a tough topic.

I mean, wow, I can't.

You guys didn't consider using the pass on that one, huh?

Not for a second, I guess.

All right.

Father Lance.

All right.

I think Mike was enlightening and sincere.

On that.

I think they split up equal time, even though it was a little bit repetitive.

Just parroting what Mike says.

This is what it is.

I'm entertaining.

Mike threw a stuffing in the sausage casing out there for

you.

Being able to get that in there was magic.

He didn't even jump in on it, but it was there for the taking, so I gave him a 4-5.

Oh, wow.

All right.

Out of a five?

God bless you, five.

Nice.

Well done.

I don't know.

4.5.

Okay, it's great.

It's a great score.

I'm shocked at that score, though.

Strong score.

It's a great though.

It's a great score for you guys.

You needed that.

Yes, we did.

Seeing as how you skipped us on one of the questions.

You're going to get an extra round.

I hope the bug twice.

Up next is Count Matthew, huh?

All right, then.

I was just confused.

Weren't they supposed to, you guys supposed to be doing it together, like agreeing, both agreeing?

Right, Malt?

Well, I mean, just doing something together.

It seemed like it was all Mike.

Yeah, Mike really carried it.

Make no sense.

I love you.

But there wasn't a lot of participation with Ming, so the score I'm going to give you guys is a 3.23.

Okay.

Okay.

It's better than more than half.

All right.

Still, it's a generous score.

It is.

It's not a bad score.

It is.

I'll take it.

It's good.

Thank you for watching.

I know they know what they're talking about.

Just Ming could have brought it up a little bit.

I know they know comics.

Okay.

Frank.

I thought it was very interesting.

I thought that

they both seemed sincere, enlightening.

I thought it was somewhat interesting.

Well, carrying that over from our

house.

We're finally sincere.

Yeah.

You know, I

was groveling.

That was good.

I didn't grovel.

But, you know, they knew what they were talking about.

And, I mean, that's why I gave him four.

Wow.

All right.

All right.

Thank you, Frank.

So what was their focus based upon that quote from the executive that they what?

Well, I think the takeaway that I have from it is that it really doesn't matter

what, you know, gender or race or whatever somebody is, if it's a good story, it's going to be a good story.

So the sales were, the bad sales were due to what?

I didn't.

Trying to shoehorn females into traditional male characters.

It's a girl's fault.

As opposed to coming up with the original diverse characters, which I think was Mike's.

Was that your takeaway, Brian, that girls ruined it?

Mike said they were down across the boards.

All right.

All right, five gives us a four.

I like it.

Thank you.

And what about Mrs.

Five?

Here she comes.

Oh,

coming back.

We're coming back, Mike.

Those are comeback numbers.

It is.

It is.

Those definitely come back.

Those are great numbers.

Jeez.

I mean, you guys should be well ahead of this.

I mean,

it's usually a wedge on my between come and back.

All right, Jeff and Troy, your elephant in the room topic is soccer superstar David Beckham, future NBA Hall of Famer Dwayne Wade, and legendary quarterback Tom Brady were all seen this past year kissing their children on the lips.

And the internet was enraged.

Do a podcast.

on these loving fathers or take the elephant physical challenge.

Your call.

You get more points doing a pod.

Well, it seems you have to be.

I mean, I'm afraid that if I do a thing about guys kissing kids on the lips, it's going to turn sexy.

You guys got to take this one.

All right, we'll take it.

Is it more points?

You say to anyone who's going to be a little bit more points to do a podcast.

You're going to get more points, I think.

Okay.

All right.

So put two minutes on the clock.

It's on.

Remember the criteria?

Both of you are engaged.

You address

David Beckham, Dwayne Wade, and Tom Brady.

Yeah, they're all big-time athletes, superstars in their field, and they all got caught kissing.

Well, not caught.

Right.

They weren't in the closet.

They had to poison the well down in the basement.

They posted videos of themselves.

It was basically a kiss, Cam.

Affectionate to the children.

Right.

And the internet was enraged.

Do a podcast on it, Jeff.

Go.

The internet enraged about showing affection towards your own children.

What does the world come to?

Exactly.

I mean, just a father, you're a father.

I mean, have you ever kissed your own children?

You know, just little pack, you know, I love you.

Give them a little bubbly every night when they go to bed.

Why is it?

Why is it that it's such a big deal?

I would think people can't show affection towards their own children.

I would think that that's something that should be embraced and celebrated.

I would say that we are the first generation of I love you, dads.

I would say that our fathers probably, you know, would say, I love you once in a while, you know, give you a pat on the head, say goodnight.

But this is the first generation where you see fathers actively being affectionate with their kids.

Can't do anything anymore.

You can't, you're in the camera's eye.

You're always out there.

You can't do anything.

You can't kiss your own child and say that you love them.

Some people never got kissed, obviously.

You know, maybe they should have, and they might have been different later on in life.

What kind of twisted mind would take something as innocent as a father showing affection to his child and turn it into something filthy.

I mean, besides me making that joke before we start talking about this,

who would do something like that?

No tongue.

It's just

say you're looking at your kid's eyes, you're just embracing them.

Right, you're embracing your children.

You made it creepy by looking into their eyes before you do it.

You can't give you a kid.

I didn't say a twinkle in your eye.

Just, you know,

like block eyes with your kid and just slowly come in for a kiss.

That's creepy.

I didn't say to twinkle in your head.

I just said, you know, I was like, no, I love this.

Don't worry.

Don't worry.

I don't know why you have to take something as sweet as innocent.

And now I understand why people are so outrageous.

People got nothing to do.

Nothing to do for children.

You know something?

Kids don't know they're loved.

Until now, I never understood what my wife was talking about, but

what she's complaining.

But like, this two minutes does feel like forever.

It does.

It does.

How much time is it?

It's going to keep your kid this long.

How much longer do you have to do that?

Ten seconds.

Ten seconds.

Wow.

That was great, guys.

Tune in every week.

Tune in every week to the Mandler report.

Wow.

Like, that was passion there.

That was

passion.

That was really well done, though.

Poor Troy trying to get away from that.

I'd say, Daddy, Daddy told you to take off your pants.

He's like, you know, we're the first generation.

Why can't you stare into kids' eyes and hold their hands?

Just like right towards that iceberg?

All right, Fatherland.

It looks all right for a little hands.

They had a good banner back and forth.

They were entertaining.

Good for them.

Felt they were sincere.

Enlightening, I had to take some points away because you didn't address how disgusting Tom Brady's kiss with his son was.

That's a Steelers fan right there.

Let's not get into Big Ben's discretion.

Four.

Good score, though.

Chris.

The banter back and forth was excellent.

That was very, I felt it very sincere.

Then at the end, it kind of derailed a little, so I had to take off a point,

minor

traction.

So I gave you guys a $4.90.

Whoa!

Near perfect podcast.

Wow.

Near perfect podcast.

Wow.

Please theorize on it, Mike and McClintock.

Impartial judgment.

Yeah, I know.

Thanks a lot there.

Impartiality.

I liked it.

I thought that it was nice that they both were engaging with each other.

I like the fact that they didn't even mention the fact that it was the father kissing the kid on the lips until the very end.

If they could have just kept it going without mentioning that, that way the score would have even been higher.

And I thought it was really, really entertaining.

So 4.5.

And you see, that's where a piece of Sunday Jeff on a podcast.

Yeah, I don't know it.

You guys could have a a podcasting career if you limit your pods to 90 seconds.

mrs five i thought they were very sincere they worked well together um equally this is their first pod together

they did a good job

like the podcast

first time ever and how long have you guys been podding together

two minutes

Wow, what a home run you guys did.

That was a touchy subject, too.

That was, man, but they navigated it with grace and

wisdom.

All right.

I love the score.

70.24.

BQ and Brian,

your topic is,

why is it in some states it's harder to get an abortion than to buy a gun?

Do a podcast on the subject.

In some states, it's harder to get an abortion than buy a gun.

Why is it harder to get an abortion in some states than to buy a gun?

Okay.

Did you start it?

Two minutes.

Two minutes.

It's fair enough for it.

Bryce thinking if you get the gun, you don't need the abortion.

Hello, and welcome to Abortion versus Guns Podcast.

So, Keyo, on the table here is why in some states is it easier to get a gun than it is to get an abortion?

Well, we know the answer, right?

Everyone knows the answer.

Not everyone wants to say it.

Nobody wants to say it.

We do hear on guns and abortions.

We tell it like it is.

and that is that uh you're talking about a lot of bible states like the midwest right these are strong christian value puritan patriarch they they love their religion yeah

and uh what what's happening is is

obviously abortion is not religious people are not crazy about abortion No, I think it's fair to say that religious people, Brian, are not crazy about abortions.

I think it's also fair to say that they do like guns and independence.

You know, Brian, I think it's fair to say frontier-style attitude.

Right, right.

They take their wisdom from the Lord,

not the government.

No, government's made of man.

Right.

So the government's telling them what to do.

They could have abortions.

They could go to another state and get an abortion if they wanted to.

Yeah, but they got to get their gun access, though.

They got that in.

So I think it boils down to

a solid

American Christian mentality.

Right.

That you respect life

unless life shouldn't be respected.

Right.

Somebody's coming at you.

You have the right to defend yourself.

That little kid, he can't defend himself.

Unless you put a gun up into the womb and let that kid

have a fighting chance.

Yeah, I was wondering when the turn was going to come.

I was following your lead on this whole thing.

Okay.

Okay.

So now we're arming fetuses.

I think so.

Yeah.

All right.

We can arm teachers.

Right.

Why shouldn't we be arming fetuses next to give them a fighting chance?

So those fetuses in abortion hard states are really safe.

Because one, the law is against aborting them, and two, they're armed.

Right.

Anyone?

Interesting.

I'm very curious what the judges think of that.

That looked like a Bill Buckner to me.

That ball went through the legs, I thought, but we'll see.

We'll see.

And are we arming teachers now?

I didn't hear about that legislation of Lance.

Father Lance.

This one.

i don't know it was more like

it was performance art more than

podcast two divisive subjects yeah um

i felt uh

they had equal banner going on back and forth

um

brian kept entertaining by arguing the fetuses um

They lost some sincerity and enlightening points because they really didn't get into the meat of the issue as to

why it is that the laws are so curved, you know,

patriarchy.

So I give them a three-five.

All right, all right.

It's more than we deserve, I thought.

Very good.

Insulted the clergy, Chris.

I was waiting for this podcast to be aborted.

I didn't think it was.

Wow.

Boom, it's so close.

I was a little disappointed, guys.

I gave it, I don't know, it just really didn't seem like it went anywhere.

anywhere.

So I gave you a 2.215.

Okay, all right.

Okay.

Fair enough.

Which I'll add up to a nice 2.22.

Yeah, but we don't want to tell him that.

We want him to do that.

All right, Frank?

I thought it was an interesting, I thought they had an interesting take on it.

Yeah, we did.

The idea of

that.

He's too nice a guy.

He's got to be a little bit more Simon Cowell.

The irony of the fetus, you know, I like that idea.

I like the way they talked about religion.

I thought it was very, I thought it was entertaining, and that's the main objective usually of a podcast.

So, 3.8.

All right.

This is five.

I thought it started out pretty good, and then it got a little bit disturbing.

Uh-oh.

Points off for

they call that the prestige.

But it was a good try.

2.5.

2.5.

Oh, wow.

That's crazy.

I don't know.

I mean, I mean, that was really

good.

I couldn't tell what bit we were doing.

I knew we were doing a bit, but I didn't know if we were going for just boring podcasts, which is what it seemed at first.

But then I was like, well, he's going to at one point turn it.

I don't know.

And then the turn came, and I felt like, you know what, we still got it.

Okay.

So, Mike and Ming, here's where you're going to get to do your extra

round of podcast

bonus pods.

Okay.

Okay.

Still, anyone's game.

What's the score?

Get them.

I summarize

close.

Coming from at the back, we have Team ISO Comics with 44.73 points.

Coming up in second is Team TSD with 69.185 points.

Close.

And in the lead, and half the team's asleep, is Team Jeff and Troy with 70.24 points.

Wow.

They really scored big with that podcast.

Yeah, it was awesome.

They deserved it.

That was a great podcast.

We should just isolate that

and release it as episode four.

Can we please do that for a day?

Let's just do that for like a whole day.

$100 tier only.

All right.

Mike, amazing.

The podcast will be $39.

That would be amazing.

People will be like, what?

Just like the music in the meeting with the clips, like, is already half the podcast.

That would be great.

It would just be the song.

Oh, it would be great.

It's a tricky one.

Okay.

Very touchy.

Okay.

Did PC culture kill Star Wars with The Last Jedi?

Or is it just that Star Wars fandom has a white slash racist slash sexist male problem?

Hello and welcome back to the Star Wars challenge.

It's a tough, tough one.

Can I take the fiscal challenge on this one?

Why would you want to?

Oh, yeah, you want to do this?

Nobody's doing it.

You know that he never helps you, though.

It's all right.

I can carry this one.

Oh, he repeats

Well, he does.

No, just repeat.

So, what you're saying is, so what you're saying is,

Star Trek, Star Wars.

This is where you can, as

Min Chen, you have more to offer on this subject than Mike does.

You do.

You're part of the problem.

I am.

I am.

I'm the late head champion, man.

You're just giving him more time to think of something to say.

All right, guys, two minutes.

Okay.

He's like, what are the physical challenges?

All right.

Hello, everybody.

Welcome to Iceland Comics.

Star Wars, down the tubes.

No one likes it.

Is it because of the

white supremacy

PC culture ruining the franchise?

Do you think that's what it is, Ming?

Is it the white.

I mean,

I think it was beautifully put when

Darth Vader.

So Darth Vader takes off his helmet and it's a pruny old white guy.

Right.

When you thought that it was going to be this

badass black character, character, right?

Evil.

Dressed in white.

I didn't say evil.

Hey, I personally love Darth Vader as a character.

I think this all started with Phantom Menace, with all the racial stereotypes in that movie.

They just threw them out there.

I think that all of them, racial stereotypes.

Of course.

Jar Jar.

Jar Jar was like a caricature of Jamaican.

Waddo is horrible.

Everybody.

Oh, my God.

Don't even get me started on Waddo.

And it got carried over to The Last Jedi.

Yeah.

I mean, it went all the way into the skipper movies.

It's a white man.

You agree with this?

That is the problem.

I think it's a problem.

Of course.

How do we fix this then?

Then I think story counts.

I said it before.

I'll say it again.

Story is back to the well, Mike Samson.

Go to it.

And you know what?

It doesn't matter if a character is black, Asian, Latino.

It doesn't matter.

Shriveled up white man.

You said that matters.

The guys address what matters.

Address the topic, though.

But if you want to have racial diversity,

show more racial diversity.

Bring in someone other than Princess Leah as a female character, for God's sake.

I agree with you, Tranny.

You know what?

If you want, you can bring one of those people.

Quit making the Asian woman those people that everybody hates.

Exactly.

Yeah, what's up with that?

I have no idea.

And I think it's just short-sightedness, and it makes for choppy writing, number one.

And storytelling, horrible.

Bad writing.

So even as a friend of that, I still love it.

I would pay to see a video reaction of the writers of Star Wars.

Okay.

What did you guys think?

Before you get the scores, you guys did okay in that one?

It's a tough topic.

Very tough topic.

Like abortion and guns.

I don't apologize right there.

I didn't hear much hurrah.

Got a lot of ground to cover.

Do you feel you covered the

two minutes?

It's tough stuff.

We did our best in two minutes, I feel.

And Ling was engaged.

Did you notice that?

Passionate.

I did.

Passionate.

Is that allowed in this state?

Mike, did you see Last Jedi?

Did I see Last Jedi?

I did.

I don't like Last Jedi.

No, I did not.

I felt like you undercut your own argument because you stated they needed to bring in diverse characters,

and they did.

And I think that's what the question was trying to get to: was that, okay, they brought

Rose in

to be a heroine.

John Viega's in there, so they brought in all this diversity, and a lot of fans are crapping all over it.

Well, that's because of the story.

The story sucked.

Where did they go?

How turned on are you right now, Mrs.

Lanceman?

Yeah,

go on like this.

Yeah,

from a scale of one to five.

You guys were engaged with each other.

Ming was carrying his weight.

You were sincere.

I took some points off because,

like I said, I felt you undercut you in an argument, so I gave you a three.

All right.

Okay, practical.

Nice.

Okay, I'll take three.

Chris,

this is God.

You love Star Wars.

So you know this.

Sorry, Jeff.

We know you love Star Wars.

I love Starboys.

I love Strawboys.

More than you

are allowed to love Star Wars.

I used to love Starboard.

So this is near and dear to your heart, right?

This topic?

It is.

I would love to hear what you think about this argument.

Does Star Wars?

Both worlds, SJW and Star Wars.

does star wars have a white person problem well sexist racist white male problem if in in their fandom or isn't that the pc culture killed the last i think in the fandom this um yeah

yeah

you see it all the time even in this

even this world

audience i've seen it

about star wars no about uh we got ourselves a chinaman what are you talking about

not not this group of people i'm talking about oh okay a little crazy

mexican come on man it's a fucking united Nations, bro.

But I thought they did great.

I thought they carried

high praise from Chris Lorago.

Put the equal time in like 69.

And

I gave him a four-point, a zero-one.

Wow.

That's a high score.

That's a good one.

I changed my answer.

Cheering himself to the judge.

You know, there's still more rounds.

Okay, okay.

Frank.

So So I thought they did a really nice job.

I thought it was very sincere.

I also thought it was entertaining.

One of the things that I did wish that they did was tell us what makes each character like the target of the.

Yeah, I wish they did that too.

Yeah, it would have been great if I had

more than

200.

Top of the two.

I gave him a three.

All right.

Hi,

three.

Mrs.

Five.

Right on, man.

I thought they were sincere.

I thought they did equal time on their discussion.

They didn't talk about any scary stuff about fetus.

Three, we got three.

Okay, three.

Doesn't disturb me.

Wow, that's got to be scores really close, right?

Yeah, those are good.

That's a good run, guys.

Congrats.

Right.

Well, the places haven't moved much.

We still have Team ISO Comics with 57.74.

Team TSD with 69.185.

And Team Jeff and Troy in the lead with 70.24.

The underdogs.

All right.

So next, the next event we're doing will not call for judges.

You're on your own here.

It's whether you sink or swim with these

cryptic riddles.

Remember it from Halloween?

Refresh me, please.

You summoned a certain fiend, and he delivered some cryptic riddles.

And those riddles

worse than you have to figure out, based upon the riddles the Baron gives you, what the overall theme is.

Right.

Remember, he's like, could we get this one?

Yeah.

Like, it could be this one.

Yeah.

Okay.

All right.

Well, it'll be fun.

It'll be fun to watch this.

You want Gethim Tration back?

No.

Get him Treasury was bad, but this was impossible.

Is the Baron coming?

The Baron.

Yeah, someone's got to summon the Baron.

Is the Baron ready to be summoned?

Yeah, I got all my stuff here.

That's showmanship, folks.

Oh, cobalt incubus, spitting riddles, violin, cryptic.

I call upon the bastard fiend, filled with sin and oh, so satanic.

cave item tour yeah oh

yes

yes well it's the blue baron perhaps

the baron of cryptic riddles yeah this is possibly the most insidious baron of all i feel okay thank you

Ow!

Tell him, Steve, Dave, you guys are going first.

Okay, because I know you love this game.

Yeah, thank you.

All right, so I give you three clues, three riddles,

but you have to guess the riddles right to have a chance to guess at the overall theme.

Right.

Okay, first cryptic riddle.

Yeah.

The star of true grit

saw a homosexual.

The star of true grit

saw a homosexual.

Maybe I'm supposed to be doing from that.

Oh my gosh.

What's the answer to that?

The star

John Wayne.

True Brits saw a hose.

I was talking about the remake.

Jim Darby.

Come on.

You know.

I don't think it saw a homosexual.

So

John Wayne Gacy.

Correct.

Well done.

The Baron is impressed.

Yes.

I mean, that's.

As soon as I figured out the game, I was like, oh, okay.

So, you have an opportunity to guess at the overall theme after knowing that the first riddle's answer is John Wayne, gay C.

No penalization for getting it wrong at this point.

No, you will not get it wrong.

I think that Clowns is probably the closer answer because if he did another serial killer, we would just know.

Yeah.

All right, so clowns?

Yeah.

Clowns.

Okay.

Okay.

Didn't expect that.

So happy.

So happy.

All right.

Riddle number two.

You only get three.

From my window, I watched a hornet land where a golf ball usually sits while I ate the most special letter in the alphabet.

BTK.

Correct.

Wow.

That was quick.

Wow, you're getting good at this.

Yeah, I am, right?

So much more bothered.

I mean, serial killers.

Hmm.

Flannin's son has to put their heads together.

Is that murderers?

Whoa, you already gave serial killers.

All right, so now you know what the next question is.

I think there is a distinction there.

You can't go serial killers and then serial murderers.

What the hell's wrong with you?

I conferred with you.

Is this the mask, the mass murderer, serial killer fucking distinction?

Well, they're definitely not.

They're definitely

both serial killers.

You only got one more riddle to get this right.

All right.

Chuck has an adult male child.

Charles Mansell.

Correct.

Three for three, but oh, so close to getting the proper answer, though.

Yeah, oh, so close.

It's all for naught if you don't get this right.

Yeah.

Everything is 90% of the topic.

If you don't guess the overall theme,

all that great work, Brian did.

So serial killer.

I got John Wayne.

Talking about it.

He didn't get Gay C, Cito.

Yeah, but he didn't get John Wayne.

He didn't, though.

I didn't see the back go off your shoulders in that round.

Yeah.

So we got, let's go over what you got right.

So Serial Killers, it's not serial killers, but that was in contention.

So it's some bullshit get him roll.

Yeah,

it's mini golf minister golf all over again.

It's a split hair.

It's not clown.

It's a zeppelin.

Go ahead, Brian.

Just go with your gut.

Murderous, yeah.

Just go murderous.

I know it's not that, but

plans on confer again.

What do you think?

I think that's close enough, isn't it?

He's shaking his head.

Chuck is saying.

Chuck is saying, yeah.

Yeah, okay.

All right.

We'll give it to you.

Famous killers.

Okay.

Not serial killers, because Charles Manson is a serial killer.

Absolutely.

He was convicted of murder.

So he is a killer.

All right.

So how many points do they get for that game?

They got 15 points, which brings them up to 84.185 in the league.

In the league.

in BSD.

All right.

Well done, guys.

This is where our experience gives us an advantage.

Troy and Jeff have never played cryptic riddles.

Right.

Mike and Ming have never played.

Mike has played some cryptic riddles with being at the stage, but I don't think you've ever played.

Just for fun, me and Mike do it.

Just to pass on the slow game.

You get them done around.

Of course,

all right.

Uh, Jeff and Troy, your guys are up.

The two identical brothers reached the summit.

Twin Peaks.

Yeah, Troy.

Wow, you guys are on a roll.

With one.

I'm going through a dyslexia right now.

Sunday, Jeff was a scoff.

Why can't they bring this for other games?

I didn't even get a chance to say it.

So, what do you think the overall theme is?

Either David Lynch or television shows.

I would go with the latter so you get another chance at saying it.

Okay, television shows.

Wrong.

All right.

Here we go, Jeff.

That cow from the Netherlands can operate a car.

Would you like to go on to the final riddle?

Can we go back to the other one?

Can we do the last one and then take another shot at it?

No.

All right, final riddle.

There's a missing street on my map.

Damn, you guys are doing so good.

Yeah.

It's falling apart, right, Farmer?

All right, this is one obvious one.

Lost Highway.

So we've got Lost Highway, and what was the other one?

Oh, Twin Peaks.

I would go with David.

Oh, I got it.

What?

David Lynch Romles, Twin Peaks.

The second one was Moholland Drive, Muholland Drive, and Lost Highway.

Well done.

Right.

But

just like what he said.

What's the overall thing?

David Lynch Froms.

David Lynch, yes, welcome.

Wow.

All right.

Wow.

Nice.

Wow.

Wow.

Find all cryptic riddles for you guys.

Okay.

No, race your head.

You ready?

Yes.

Mr.

Reinhold has great fear his movie career is over.

Judge Drett.

Judged?

Wow.

Wow.

He's nice.

Wow.

Let's do this when it's like you said, right?

Slow days is what we're doing.

Okay.

Okay.

All right.

Go ahead.

You You guys want to take an overall?

What the overall theme is?

We don't work, just slow days.

Best times of Richmond High.

Brown Little's Cobb.

No.

Judge Reinhold was a rich.

Judge Dretz.

Judge Dredge.

Judge Dredge.

I'm tripping balls.

Stallone movies.

Stallone movies?

Stallone movies?

No.

Okay.

That pig won't stop kicking his hindcores in front of the house of Exalts.

That pig won't stop kicking his hindquarters in front of the House of Exalts.

All right, guys, I have to go on to the next one.

Okay.

Is it Arnold Schwarzenegger?

No.

Okay.

Okay.

No.

Was he in Judge Dredd?

No, it doesn't matter.

The physician sounds like an owl.

Doctor Who.

Okay, so now you have Judge Dredd.

Okay, Judge Dredd, Doctor Who, British Heroes.

Sorry, guys.

Because if you would have got that pig bone stopped kicking his hindquarters in front of the House of Exalts, Buckingham Palace.

Yeah.

Buckingham Palace.

You would have known that all three clues were British things.

British things.

Judge Dredd.

But Q, you look like you're not having a picture.

Well, I'm just not following the pig-kicking one.

That buck.

No, you just have a fucking ham.

It won't stop.

But

So when is the buck come in?

The pigs.

That's called bucking?

Yeah.

You ever seen horsebuck?

Okay.

You've never seen a pig buck.

I guess not.

I got it now.

All right, so now we're halfway.

We've got half of it right here.

We got a week of buck.

But wait a second.

We got half of it, right?

All right.

But buck doesn't start the sentence.

It doesn't matter.

It's cryptic.

It can be anywhere.

It can be the first time the game is.

But it should be.

Bucking should be the first thing.

I love you for having our back on this.

We're just jealous because everybody at the table

got their riddle right.

Ham buck?

Yeah, bucking ham.

It's a bucking ham.

We learned last.

I got to go with Walt on this one.

We learned last time the works could be in any order.

Not even

that.

We have a really close game here, Walt, don't we?

We have the two teams in lead separated by only 1.055 points.5 side up.

All right, another new game coming in.

in are you smarter than a 148 right wow

you each are going to get a question you have to write down what you think the answer is okay

if you get the answer right and get him gets it right you still get points but if he get him gets it wrong and you get it right

you get double points nice

if you if even if you get it wrong and get him gets it wrong you get points as well.

He should get it right.

He's 148.

He's been touting that shit for years.

Yeah.

So no matter what you get points, it's just more points depending on what happens.

Yeah.

Well, no, you get him, you can get it right, and you can get it wrong.

You got to go over there and get him.

You want to get any points.

I love it.

Just a curious side.

Seriously, yeah.

No integrity.

If you get it wrong, get him, get it right.

Then you don't get points.

Right.

Yeah.

Okay.

Each team will go up against an adversary with the intelligence of 148.

Each team will get a question deemed challenging for people with high IQs.

If both you and our participant with the 148 IQ get the answer right, the team gets 15 points.

If our 148 gets it wrong and our team gets it right, then it's double.

Okay?

Okay.

And that's what?

Get them?

30.

Good boy.

If both get the question wrong, that team gets five points.

So you should, because you should be getting these questions right.

Okay.

All right.

First question.

If the person gets it right and you get it wrong.

Zero points.

Zero.

Okay.

Okay.

So the first one is, unfortunately, for people listening at home, you won't be able to tell what it is because it's a visual question.

But I'm going to hold up an object and you have to write it down.

And then, and then we're all playing on the same term.

You guys are up first.

Tell them 68.

Okay.

I'm going to hold this object up and I'm going to ask you a question about it.

And then you write down what the answer is, and then Giddam will tell us what the answer is, and you reveal what you wrote down.

Okay.

Okay, Giddam.

What he thinks the answers are?

Well, he should know.

He shouldn't think.

It's 148.

Right.

Okay.

How many holes are in this t-shirt?

Brian Q, you can confer, but you shouldn't confer out loud.

I mean, you want to just write the number down.

How many holes are in this t-shirt?

Your answer's been recorded?

Yeah.

Get them.

How many holes are in this t-shirt?

I would say eight.

Eight.

Wow.

There's one at the top, two.

Arm holes.

There's one over the waist hole.

That's four.

Plus the two on the front and the the two in the back.

Two in the back.

Eight.

You guys write down.

That was a 131 that you struggle.

I thought this was hard.

I didn't get this because I forgot about the holes on the back.

So that's why I thought everybody would forget about the holes in the back.

You're fucking dummies.

I can't wait to see your faces.

So we got 15.

Yeah, you both got it right.

15.

So 15 points for somebody.

What's that shirt?

That was my cruise shirt.

On my family cruise.

Oh, yeah.

I knew I would never wear it again.

So I put two holes.

What was the, and this is for Jeff and Troy.

What was the U.S.

President's name in 1996?

Write it down.

Sorry.

Have you recorded your answer?

What was the U.S.

President's name in 1996?

U.S.

president is not a name.

I can't believe they're conferring on this question.

Get him?

That would be George Bush, 41.

What did you guys write?

I went with Donald Trump because the U.S.

president is Donald Trump.

In 1996, his name was still Donald Trump.

Correct.

Fucking 148.

You morphed.

Get your pants down in front of all these people.

How did you not know that?

I thought you were the reigning president, who was the sitting president in 1996.

In 1996, it was Bill Clinton anyway.

Yeah, he would have been gone.

So I should be wrong.

Can Can I get one

in that yellow shirt for a rag?

Do I get more points for that?

Double points.

Really valid.

Can I go back to counting holes in case

you're not going to be able to get it?

You might have just won them the whole game.

Will you not?

Never give me shit again on a political post on social media again.

There's still more.

Oh,

wow.

It just costs us the game.

Well, hey, you guys.

I know how to fuck my wedding.

Like a ming.

Let's just hope he's done with our question.

Write it down though.

The answer.

In British Columbia.

You got to go again.

I got more.

In British Columbia, you cannot take a picture of a man with a wooden leg.

Why not?

Tell me when you're done writing.

Oh, Bing knows.

I think you know.

You notice one, Gim?

I'm kind of shaking from the.

I can tell.

Yeah.

He's writing it in English and Chinese with his dumb autograph.

Can we repeat the question one more time?

In British Columbia, you cannot take a picture of a man with a wooden leg.

Why not?

You're done.

Your answer is recorded.

Get him.

Why can't you take a picture of a man with a wooden leg in British Columbia?

Holy shit.

Holy shit.

Oh, get him.

My camera ran out of the home.

It's just filled with cheerleaders.

I'm stumped.

I'm so happy.

As gleeful as he always gets with your riddles when they don't get

this fucking cocksucker.

Holy shit.

Go ahead, Bing.

Bing, reason why in British Columbia, you can't take a picture.

What's the question again?

Do you hear a man with a wooden leg?

Because wooden legs cannot take photographs.

Correct.

Okay.

Double points to take photographs.

Discratia get him.

I mean, does this really just hammer home that that 148 was complete and utter bullshit?

Yeah.

He just wrote his real IQ.

He wishes.

I want to see you fucking humiliated.

I want to see you like,

I want to see a towel thrown in before I let you out of the corner.

We got your terrible towel over there.

All right.

Troy and Jeff.

A truck is stuck under a bridge and the driver cannot get it out.

Gidham walks by and stops to help.

He easily gets the truck unstuck.

How did he do it?

You know?

Oh, wow.

That's what my ego just did.

Do we get another one, too?

Yeah, you got another one, too?

It should not take this long to say yes.

All right, guys,

have you written down an answer?

Yes.

Okay, Giddam.

How come?

What did you do to get that truck?

To fight the tires.

Back it up.

What did you guys write?

Let air out of the tires.

Correct.

Nice.

15 points.

Wow.

Jeff and Troy.

Holy shit, they're so far ahead of us.

You really need to

get this one wrong.

If he gets this wrong, you're right back in it, though.

All right.

Okay, Brian Q.

You are in a place called Giddam's World, and there is only one law.

There is a mirror, but no reflection.

There is pizza with cheese, but no sausage.

There is pepper, but no salt.

There is a door, yet no entrance or exit.

What is Giddam's law?

We've got to write it down now.

Mirror with no reflection.

Cheese with no, I mean, pizza with cheese, but no sausage.

Nice colon.

Thank you.

Pepper but no salt.

All right.

That was a time.

And Giddam, do you know the answer?

No.

All right, so don't feel bad to get points anyway.

In Gidham's world, every word must contain double letters.

Mirror,

pizza, cheese, door.

I mean, that part, I guess.

What was the last part of the word?

There was a door, but no exit?

Pepper, no salt.

What?

Well, no, what was the last part about the

entrance or no exit?

Because there's no double letters in the word.

All right, Mike, can make it a little bit more.

Oh, wait, wait, does an entrance have two E's in it?

Huh?

No,

not

double letters.

Oh, okay, okay.

Okay.

Oh, now I got it.

You see a boat filled with people.

This is the last one.

Then we're in the final event.

You're going to see a boat filled with people.

It has not sunk, but when you look again, you don't see a single person on the boat.

Why?

Gotta write it down, Mike.

I know.

Giddam, what is the answer?

They're all married.

Mike and Ming, what'd you write?

We were looking at its reflection.

Okay, gotcha.

They're what?

What?

Looking at its reflection in the water.

Giddam was right.

They were all married people on the boat.

Not a single person was on the boat because they were all married.

So that gives them five points?

Gives them two points.

No, it gives them no points.

You got it right.

All right.

All right.

Final event is a professor and presser.

Can I go sit down and shame now?

Yes, absolutely.

Let's hit a shot.

Don't worry, buddy.

It'll run right off your back.

In this final event, each team is given a what-if scenario that they will have two minutes and 30 seconds to present how the world would be different if their scenario were true.

Judges will present a score.

Now we're going to get into big scores:

10

being the worst, and 50 being the best.

50?

That's a big spread there, isn't it?

Zero.

But Frank 5 is the only professor you're really,

his points are worth double.

Okay, so if he gives you a 50, it's worth 100 points.

Wow.

You know, I know we're trying to impress everyone.

Trying to impress everyone, but mostly the professor, because it's professor impressor.

Right.

Because his, his, whatever he rewards, awards, is double the points.

Who's coming back?

All right.

Now, for in the fairness of people listening or watching, each team was given their topics beforehand so they could prepare.

So this is not off the cuff.

I want to be upfront and honest with the listeners.

So 10 to worst, 50 to best.

I mean, I totally forgot about that.

I didn't put much thought to it, so it's kind of off the cuff.

That was a goal.

We're keeping it real over here.

Mike and Ming, would you like to go first?

Just so the people, the judges know what.

Excuse me, Flanner.

Son has something to say.

Somebody left their headlights on in their car.

You were invoting on how imaginative the presentation was and how provoking the presentation was.

Get him, why is your watch on so tight?

It's like it'll cut off your fucking circulation.

You're okay with that.

Do you have gangrene?

Dude, that is like crazy.

He's like, I miss fingerprints.

Oh my god.

You don't want to loosen that by one so your fingers can feel again?

Feel?

All right.

You got a hand transplant up from the grooms.

This is so weird.

I got a lot of people who can tell you that these fingers feel.

Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.

Most of them are corpses, but

I mean, if they could speak ever again.

No, never speak to me again, buddy.

Okay, Mike and Men, you guys are up first.

You need this so bad.

How long do we have?

Two minutes and 30 seconds.

Okay.

Your topic is:

we now live in a world

where a human's sexual/slash reproductive organs are on our faces.

What are you doing like right before the pod started?

All right, we're with you.

It's got to be awful.

How would our world be different in a world where everyone

junk is on their face?

You guys had hours to go over this.

Yes, it would definitely be a problem to show father and and child affection.

He's awake, folks.

Thank you, Sunday, Jeff.

I'm totally against that.

All right, you ready again?

Start the clock and go.

All right, Ning.

So we live in a world now.

Oh, welcome back.

So we live in a world now

that our genitalia is our FA.

Yes, will our world be better or worse?

I feel it would actually be better.

Okay, explain.

I might see one.

That's one.

But, you know, we live in

a society where sexual workers are covered.

So

everybody's faces will be covered.

And I feel that love would be truly blind at that point because

it's still sacred.

Yeah, I would hope that if we did cover our faces, we would have eye holes.

Right.

Okay, so we're wandering around like Spider-Man.

Yes.

How is that better?

Because, you know, there is everything's so superficial these days.

Everything's always been superficial.

Faces would be covered.

We would love each other for our hearts and our minds and not purely based on visuals.

So you advocate for the Burqa?

Yes.

Really?

In this case?

Wow, okay.

In this case, yes.

Absolutely.

In this case,

okay.

I think that the world would be much worse because

minute and a half left.

No soccer.

No soccer.

If you can't play soccer.

Why?

Why?

You know?

If the soccer ball

petting, you know, and it's bad enough, you get soccer.

Yeah.

Okay.

If your junk is on your face, you can't, you know, get a reason.

Okay.

We all know so much.

Everyone plays soccer.

Well, we all know about it.

Okay, anything else besides soccer?

Well, first topic, you're also talking about in one minute.

Seriously, I'm not fucking.

We're going to extend the time.

Five minutes.

Let me tell you more about soccer.

Football helmets.

I mean, think about repercussions.

Think about how, like, think

dick

would be on your head.

It would be on your head, yes.

Seriously, and fist fights, thing of the past, because nobody wants to punch it.

Because it's all dirty punches if you're going for somebody's face.

All right, so punch people in the stomach then.

Okay.

Who would do that?

Punch people in the crotch.

It won't matter anymore.

I don't think fights would be a thing of the past.

I know.

I disagree.

You had how many hours it takes?

10 seconds, thankfully.

What about you?

Come on.

You're telling me that a Burka is yours.

No, no, no, no, it's not necessarily a Burka, but a mask.

It's like a pair of masks.

A mask.

Yeah, I think we were truly.

Oh, thank you.

Thank you, Jeebus.

I have a feeling we're not going to see a repeat of those high scores.

Guys,

I mean, that was like, you put it on a T.

There's so many possibilities you could have went with.

Professor Can't even make a

magnetary numbers, Frank.

Frank five, you're the last, of course, because since your

scores mean double, we're going to let everybody else go before you because

we're going to build the anticipation.

So we didn't do it with that pod, but we're going to do it here with

the judges' scores

by the lance.

How long did they have to think about this?

I gave it to them about two, three hours ago in the afternoon.

Maybe more.

I didn't think Burka was the most imaginative

solution to that problem, nor was

it a lot of sports we could play

with our genitalia on our faces?

So I gave him a 20.

All right, take the 20.

Not bad, though.

All right,

not 50, but

I don't know what the hell happened.

15.15.

Okay.

You have nothing to weigh?

Nothing to add.

How come?

Okay.

Zero.

Why?

You have no

he's imagining genitalia on people's faces on this subway.

Mrs.

Five?

Well, it was another disturbing topic for me.

We're sorry.

A little bit incoherent

back and forth.

Tad.

10.

Okay.

I couldn't give you less.

I wanted to.

I couldn't.

All right, but still, there's still a chance to score big with Frank five.

Is there?

That was not really.

Wow.

The fives are surprisingly in line, generally.

We got 10.

How come?

As a professor, we really want to hear how they shat the bed.

Well, like you said, you're going to make me say it.

Yeah, you're going to make me go for it.

They had this for hours.

I think you kind of come up with

a little bit more than the Burqa and the soccer.

But, I mean, on the fly, that would have been good.

But having this for a couple of hours.

He's such a nice guy.

On the fly, I still would have sucked.

What did you hope to hear when you first heard

the topic about genitalia on our faces?

Where did you hope it would go?

Well, you know, how would we have sex now?

What would that look like?

How would we kiss our children?

You know, what would happen if somebody ended up getting erection?

Now it's right there.

And okay.

We call them unicorns.

Yeah.

And the female genitalia is on their face too.

Yeah.

So now if you're having a magical beast,

well, would sex be?

Wait, isn't it normal?

Would sex be what we know it today?

Would it be, or would it just be a matter of just like a peck on the cheek?

And we did it.

Well, fancy case, and I could sex all the cheeks.

Goo.

All right.

So, what was it, 10?

10.

So with a 20 then?

Yeah.

You got the scores?

Yep.

That makes a total of 65.15 points.

So they are in the lead, though.

What?

Actually, you guys are in the lead right now.

If they pull all tens,

they're still going to win, but still, racial winners.

If they all fall into irrecoverable comas, you guys win.

Not even.

Like I care.

What are we going to win?

We're going for those bragging rights, boys.

All right.

Troy and Jeff, you know your topic.

What if the Pinocchio effect was real?

And all human beings who lied had their nose grow one-eighth of an inch for each lie they told?

Just like Pinocchio.

Does it have to be an intentional lie?

Or like

if

you made a movie, that was a work of fiction.

Just everybody's nose.

Not a lie.

But let's say you told your kid Santa Claus.

No, you stole one of my talking points.

God damn it.

Do you want to start the talk?

But your nose would still grow for every time you told your child that Santa Claus was real.

But let's say

you told a lie you didn't know was a lie.

Like you were like, oh, who won the game last night?

And you gave the wrong score.

Okay.

If you never found out

that that score was wrong, your nose doesn't grow.

But if you do find out that you gave erroneous information,

so in this world, there's no such thing as mistakes.

But what if you found out?

So everyone, wait, get it 148.

I have a question.

If you don't find out, your nose stays the same.

But what if you find out that you gave the wrong information and then call up and be like, hey man, I didn't know before I gave you wrong information.

You apologize?

You pass on the truth.

How encompassing?

How sincere were you?

Were you rounding it when you said that?

It really isn't going to matter, Q.

I mean, you told a lie, and that's the world we live in now.

One-eighth of an inch.

It's not that big.

Sure, okay.

So you're going to be, you know what?

You're going to be a lot more careful about the information you give out.

Right.

Just be like, I can't come.

On everything.

Right?

All right, guys.

Two minutes and 30 seconds.

You both have to be involved in the podcast.

Go.

Hey.

If we were to live in a world where every time you told a lie, your nose grew an eighth of an inch like Pinocchio, I think that this generation right now would be kind of screwed because it's so ingrained in people to lie as it is.

that, you know, for this generation, a lot of people would have noses that would cause them neck problems.

But I think going forward, the world would be a better place because people would learn that you can't lie.

And being incapable of lying,

there'd be less

breakups of marriages.

If you were to go car shopping or more, you could get rock-bottom price.

You couldn't say, you know, what's the cheapest you give me this car for?

And the dealer would still try and jack up the price.

Auto mechanics would have to be honest.

If you were to buy a house, realtors would have to disclose all the damage.

Just day-to-day life would be so much better if people couldn't lie to you.

I agree.

You actually have, you'd be walking around with your persona on your face, exactly.

So, everything that you would say, you would have to either, you know, always tell the truth, or being a detective in New York City, you'd be able to see everything because now, if you're going to arrest somebody, you'd be actually asking them if they, so you'd know right off the bat, you wouldn't even, you'd eliminate the judicial.

They call that, they call that nasal profiling.

You'd eliminate the judicial system because you would automatically know, did you do it?

Did you do it?

No, so you're no.

Well, ultimately, if that person were to just lawyer up and did you do it, I want a lawyer.

They're not lying.

They're making a request.

So there'd still be some hurdles to overcome with that.

But

it make you twice.

It may think more than before you go.

Well, I was laughing, but we're supposed to impress a professor here.

So I'm trying to bring stuff up.

But before you go and do something,

or you say something that you really shouldn't say, it'll give you, you know, be like, look,

if I say something and I know I'm going to have the repercussions of my nose growing an eighth of an inch, and I'll be caught.

So you also be able to see like everybody around you could be friends, family, or whatever, be like, man, look, his nose is growing.

Right.

I think that my only shortcoming would be like the other night at New Year's Eve, as people, like, if you were to talk to somebody and act like you were interested, is that a lie or no?

Because if someone's making small talk with you and you're nodding your head acting like you're really engaged with them,

gotcha.

Okay, so I'd be all right then because I don't think I'd be capable of feigning interest in what a lot of people say to me.

Could have people out there with telephone poles too for noses.

What is true?

I'd have to walk around with a chain so I'll.

Oh.

Wow.

Well done.

It wasn't as humorous as it ought to be.

It's actually very well thought out.

Very pressed.

Educational.

Talking to a professor.

It'll impress the professor.

What do you say, teach?

I would love to see a video of Sunday Jeff giving his theories on that just randomly to someone tomorrow.

Look at them all.

you know i'm speaking our sodas are on her face now

frank did you notice eye contact

by the lance you must be oh no you don't take a lot of you don't deal with a lot of people lying to you or telling you

well i'm a welfare caseworker too so yes

i deal with those guys um

I mean, the argument was thought out, but I don't think you thought far enough, and maybe Frank will agree, maybe not.

But especially like you thought marriages would be saved, but I'm thinking,

you know, the classic, hey, do I look fat in this dress?

You're caught either way.

You either gonna have.

Your wife has told you the truth.

She wasn't on the case.

Is it better to be honest with you?

On his way to mask.

They say the five words.

The true lovers.

But conversely, maybe she's flattered that you admitted it and grew your nose.

So were you to teach pre-Kena, you would advocate to people that they should lie to their spouse?

Well,

truth.

He's giving you points, too.

Frank scores the final yet.

He advises him to lawyer up.

I'll take a mulligan on this one.

But so I thought, you know, maybe you were a little bit optimistic in

brutal honesty all the time.

It doesn't have to be brutal, just not lying.

Arguing with a a judge.

What's going on here?

That was well for me the first time.

I did think it was well presented, so I gave you 30.

30.

Okay,

30.

Not bad.

It's out of 50, right?

Yes.

1, 10, 20, 30, 40, 50.

I thought it was really compelling.

Doctor did a great job.

It was really thought out.

I liked

about

how you talked about him being a detective and his job will be a lot easier, right?

46.63.

Wow.

Whoa.

Yeah.

163 put you over.

Jesus.

Mrs.

5.

I thought it was well thought out, and you interacted very well together.

And I gave you a 45.

Nice.

Out of the so far other scenarios we've given on the professor and presser, which world would you rather live in?

It's kind of the same.

Original with your things

in your truck.

No junk on the face.

until you start having like junk on your face

sexual diseases on your face.

All right,

you're driving up.

You got Gonnarie on your head.

I thought it was a hat.

Like an octopus.

Did you eat yogurt?

God almighty.

Wipe your neck.

Wipe your neck.

Right.

All right.

So I loved it.

Troy actually made me want to live in that world.

He really did.

I mean, I love the police aspect of it and the questioning

of suspects.

Cop drama.

Well, you know, just.

Nose cops.

Yeah.

I love a good police statement.

Yeah.

And I love.

Nasal law.

And I love the idea of how you said it would save marriages or

maybe

have no excuses to escape family functions.

Yeah, well, no, well, they all know the truth anyway.

And look, this works.

Telling the truth.

He works.

Frank Five really lays it out on Main Street.

Yeah.

So this, he could live in a world like this.

Yeah.

Cute little.

Maybe my nose would be smaller.

Yeah.

Cute little button nose on that man.

45.

Whoa.

90 points.

Wow.

Holy shit, dude.

Wow.

I don't know if we can win.

50, 50.

And 100.

50.

We gotta do it.

We gotta go for it.

We gotta use all our podcasts and talent.

Other than awareness.

Yeah.

And fucking

a couple of Kerry Struggs.

Yeah, round the gear on which Lodo would have to give him a round number.

What's the total score over there, get him?

Yeah, maybe you do a 49.9 type thing.

346.87.

Wow.

So 100, 200, 250.

What's our score?

Could we even possibly get it?

You would get it if you got the perfect scores.

I feel like we got it in us.

We got it in us.

I mean, we can.

Are we going to start?

Well, you don't know your topic yet.

Oh, yeah, you do.

We do know.

Yeah, okay.

That's right.

Okay.

What if we lived in a world where men had pouches that a child had to spend the bulk of their first three years in for nourishment and nurturing purposes?

Much like Joey's do with kangaroos.

How would our world and the men who live in it be different?

Go.

So the question to us is, how would life be different if men had to carry children for the first three years of their lives?

There would be way more abortions.

Oh my God.

What a better world.

No traffic.

Because like, I ain't doing it.

I'm not doing it either.

Who the fuck is going to do that?

It already looks like I'm carrying a kid in my

ear.

Now I really have a real kid in my life.

Oh, it just ain't happening.

But I'll tell you what, though, for men, I think overall, it's a better world.

Yeah, it's definitely a better world because then you don't have to hear the women complaining about everything.

Well, if you do, you just like, let's say they're complaining and you have like a little kid in you.

You can like threaten to reach in and pull it out.

Like, oh.

It would die if you took it in?

Yeah, of course.

Straight earrings.

No, no, no, no.

It doesn't have to stay in her constantly.

Yeah.

It comes out, but like at night, it has to go in there.

No.

That doesn't mean we can't threaten to kill it.

Yeah, of course.

That's what I'm saying.

Because once it comes out of that pouch, it ain't going back in.

Perfect scores you're trying to get, guys.

Yeah.

That's why I'm not killing Phoenix.

We're picking it up.

We're keeping it real.

We're keeping it real.

We're keeping it real.

This is why the people came.

What about the nurturing aspect?

Like, if you lived in fucking Edgar's belly for three, the first three years, how close would you guys be?

I could barely live in Edgar's house for three years.

Pouch and daddy's pouch.

Every time we look up, yeah, he's there.

Yeah,

come on, he would have aborted.

I mean,

that's the thing.

I was born.

You're putting men.

I don't even sit in here.

There is, there's no, because there would be no laws to stop it because men make laws that you can't get abortions just by chucking a kid out of your pouch.

And everyone knows that men make

murder decisions in this country.

What are you talking about?

If you're thrown out of the pouch, the woman gave birth to the baby.

Now it's your job to nourish it.

And my job and nourish it in your pouch.

No, not in this pouch.

Hey,

my body, my choice, man.

My body, my choice.

That's it, man.

You can't force me to carry around the kid.

Yeah, I know.

A woman's going to make it.

What are you, a sexist?

That's not 22.

Looking at you in the face.

That's not the world.

That's not 2K19.

No, sir.

Make prisoners carry the baby.

Spoken like two great people.

The way the world would be different is we would either abort the children, or if those children happened to be born, we would then murder them.

Yeah.

And it would be awesome.

Yeah.

And we would be free of responsibility.

No, Billy.

You guys would be in jail, though.

And then who knows what will be happening to your pouches in jail?

I'm not saying that the kid isn't coming out of his pouch.

He's dead.

He's still dead.

That's where I hide the button.

Ultimately, I couldn't get it in my clothes.

So I made myself three years.

That's pretty gross.

Has anybody seen Little Baby Brian?

Did you smell Brian's pouch?

Brian's pouch smells gross.

He's got a douche out that pouch.

You wouldn't need a fanny pack anymore.

It would be great.

I always thought you'd get into a little bit more like how your relationships with your own fathers would have been different, though.

How much closer you guys would have been.

Like, the bond would have been unbreakable.

Maybe you should have skewed it that way in the beginning.

I would have given it to somebody else.

Rather than in general, how would would things be different?

How would your relationships be different?

Yeah, he would have looked down at me and be like, I love you.

Well, the shade under that nose.

But you know, maybe it would also be like a status thing.

Like, you could gussy up your pouch, you know, have a little like bedazzle.

Put a home entertainment system in there,

DBD player.

Yeah, man.

A little mini bar.

That's all.

Sleech line.

I did not expect you guys to go so dark.

Who are you telling me?

How long are you?

Seriously, the man who is blending in with the background looks like a floating head you didn't think could get dark.

Sincerity is so very important.

You can't say that wasn't sincere.

But you got to know your judges.

No, I got to entertain my judges.

Well, judges, lest you be judged.

Walk, can I just point something out?

While they were talking, I looked over, I noticed mid-argument, before they even finished, Father Lance was so impressed.

Mid-argument he wrote down.

That's the case.

bad.

No, no.

I could have sworn you were going to say that.

Watch out.

Because the argument sold me

right into it.

Because, yeah, we would be.

How long into the little mini pod did you write that score down?

Halfway in?

About halfway.

Yeah.

No matter what they said, was it going to swipe?

Father Lance was so impressed with the talk of abortion and child murder.

They're critical.

Troy, you sure you didn't get an online banking alert?

The fact that such a world would ensure a

noses grow.

He just wants to make sure he's 50.

Way to buy that on the bread, Fatherland.

Yeah,

that's funny.

And he's already writing a score.

And I'm like, wow, that's a fucking, that's why I listen to a podcast.

You ain't getting that on NBC.

You ain't getting that on AMC.

Fucking definitely getting that on True TV.

That's why you would listen to a fucking podcast.

Spiking babies from your own stomach pouch if your audio right now were to get isolated yeah put online for yeah the ij lance

apologize

better be more

people think that i was actually like having a stroke or something like that

they'd be like did he just say like spike a baby from a stomach pouch

i bet you we get spike in listenership

people be like oh yeah

i mean oh did you hear about that pop and they talk about spiking babies yeah listen now i know you guys are not happy with that score that Father Lance just gave.

You could tell that that's

not a real score.

Don't take that from us.

That's really not an accurate scoring, I would not think, right?

You know,

I'm happy with it.

Pinocchio.

Are you saying to throw his score out?

But even more upsetting than I would think Mike and Ming are, you guys who have a chance to win this.

No, I'm not upset.

Like, I was just astounded by that.

I don't care.

The priest is really to the abortion of her.

Well, it's been because.

Well, when in Rome.

Like I said, they're being honest, that world, men aren't going to, listen,

the work I do, yeah, men are gone, the women are taking care of the kids.

So, yeah, there's no way men are carrying kids around.

I think right now he's not going to be able to do that.

But I think they're not going to be able to do that.

Why is he going to do this?

He's in the lead.

They have more leeway.

Mother Lance is this like hot talk.

I'm just a merchant.

That's hot talk.

But I don't think that you guys realize, though, that from the dawn of time, this is the way it was.

So you're going on this like guys would never do that.

Instead of thinking, like guys have always done that, this is no other.

You do your podcast

considering that angle.

We just started as boring and not entertaining for anyone.

We're goddamn masters over here.

We fucking 50, we earned that 50.

Okay, well,

great job, Carter.

Is that really your final score?

Yes.

You really want to go down on record as giving out a freaking screen?

Cowell.

We see Chris LeBlanc Cowble.

Jesus.

Seriously?

Are you sure?

It's just hard to have any credibility as a Walt Lannon son when the judges are obviously in the tank.

They're not in the tank.

Are you really sure you want to give him 50 points?

I stand by that podcast.

That was one of our best.

It was a good podcast, but

to express a judge, though, I mean, that's

it would be hard to connect.

Would you

have an unbiased, an unbiased

over there scratching out the 50 he's not going to be able to do that?

I mean, Ming has every right to just get up right now and just leave and storm out.

He fucking

don't ads on the table.

He might as well

have branding rights.

What the fuck is he still here?

What else is new?

He was robbed of major points tonight.

For what reason?

For agreeing with everything Mike said.

So what you're saying is

that's why I fucking lost.

It's not true.

If there had been a rap battle, you would have won.

If they had talked about spiking one baby, they would have gotten better points.

I promise you that.

I thought this was like a dream world that they painted because I never was so excited for mass abortions before in my life.

Anything that

helps Mike commute out every day going up to Manhattan?

That was one of my points.

Thank you.

And for that?

Sloba!

Mass abortions.

Woo!

Yes.

But you're a father.

You would have your child.

Yeah, because he has to be.

But if you had a pouch,

are you saying you might rethink starting a family because you have a pouch?

If I had a pouch, I'm just saying, I don't know.

It's 50-50.

Wow.

50.

Chris LeDondo.

Your child was like, Daddy was on a podcast.

I got to listen to you.

I'm about to 49.963.

No, no.

no.

I'm just saying

there's only 50% chance, only 50% chance of spiking.

I've been saying

it.

I'm kangaroo.

Well, I would, I know.

Those are good odds.

They call those even odds.

I'm just saying,

you don't understand the fucking traffic I go through every day.

Do you really believe that from the dawn of time?

Me, but other people will be inclined to be aware of that.

I'm not saying that we're so inclined.

We as a sex remember a time when we didn't have pouches that's just the way it was since man walked out of the well since God put man on the

platform

had a pouch.

So we didn't know any better.

So why would all of a sudden we'd be so so prone to be like, no, no kids can't do it.

They would have been stuck in the battery tunnel for like two hours, like an hour and a half to go fucking five feet.

Because they crawled out of the primordial soup, right?

And then eventually got to a point where they're driving cars and they're like, it didn't used to be like this.

I was just crawling around.

Now I've got, it takes me two hours to get somewhere it should take me 15 minutes.

God,

somebody who's just spike fetuses.

Crystal Lagongo, baby killer.

Yeah, all right.

So, what was the score?

50, you said 50.

Woo!

Beautiful.

25.

If you give out a perfect score here,

I think the rule is just.

Don't, don't, just let her give her a score first.

Go with your heart.

She wrote it down already.

She can't scratch it out.

Oh!

Oh, yeah!

Oh, yeah!

Golden Palace 2!

Go to the breaking of man.

I mean,

when you're doing that, Rick Flanner

essentially makes a Walt Flanner in some productions productions have no integrity.

It's all a shame.

No, I will say that.

I would have done just the entertainment alone.

Just they were entertaining.

I'm not saying that.

How often in your entertainment that you digest, do you laugh or

knee slap when people are talking about

spiking babies?

Rarely, which is why it's such a great title.

It's how good it is.

I'm not saying I agree with that.

I'm just saying it was entertaining.

Boom.

Speechless.

I'd just like to point out that this is your podcast.

I just

never would have dreamed that Frank, so everything's riding on you.

You know what?

Everybody here is a fucking sellout.

Including Frank.

And it's going to be a long ride home.

Oh, boy.

I can't believe it.

I can't believe it.

There's one integral man.

There's still one man with intestinal fortitude out there.

Save humanity, Frank.

Give your smallest nose.

Before you do, think about having a kid in your fucking pouch and how much sense we made.

Being smaller than that.

But also think about a world where, like, dudes, dudes...

Do anything to make themselves look good, right?

You know, bodybuild.

It's like a donut.

You're escalating.

So we as

a pouch is like

the thing that turned on women.

I know we would.

But that's just a pouch.

It doesn't mean that there's a kid inside.

Right, but we would do other things with our pouches, probably.

We do other things to oppress the ladies with our pouches.

Why don't you just bedazzle your asshole and get this over with you?

Like to let the man give me his.

I did like the term daddy pouch.

That was kind of funny.

I thought they did a really, really good job.

Not enough for a 50, but I gave them a 49.

Yeah.

49.

I stand behind my Frank Cisla.

That is

a panel of judges who knows what they're talking about.

Yeah, look at that.

Obviously.

Champions.

Giddam's brains.

Champion judges.

Do we know?

Do we have a final score here, Giddam?

For a team?

You just got to carry the one.

You got to wait.

If we win,

if we win, I would like to extend the bragging race to all the good judges.

I would feel like

this was a bigger scandal than the Black Sox of the

1920s.

You guys down there are going to get wrong.

We got our articles.

If I think what's going to happen is going to happen right here when I hear the final score.

All right.

Before I reveal the final score, I will say

the difference between winning and losing is.315 points.

So we have Jeff and Troy with 346.87,

but with 347.185,

TTEST

is the winner.

Unbelievable.

Jeff, some of our points.

Wow.

Who would have known we would have won a podcast and contest judged by fans of our podcast?

Who would have put that together?

And we got to brag.

Wow.

Iceland Comics does not.

Wow.

So I think now, I mean, you guys may be now number three in the biggest grudge match in pod today.

Jeff and Troy may jump up to number two.

They're two contenders.

It would appear.

Who appears if you're upset anymore?

You're out of the grudge match.

Holy shit.

And you never in the first place.

Jeff, we got a press conference here.

That's what a losing team does.

They go out first, and after two.

What do you think happened tonight?

We're just going to rock.

We're just good with his match.

Yeah.

I mean, I think, Father Lance, you did the math too on your calculator, right?

Is get him correct?

Yes, 347.

Accurate score, Charlie.

If you're going to lose to somebody, it's got to be them.

You're showing again the good losers like when you tweeted your apology.

Exactly.

I know you got a little bit more venom in you than that.

Yeah, you got your, it's their podcast.

your special anniversary.

No, point one.

400.1.

All I'm thinking about is how to get my watch as tight, if not tight, like

that's pretty tight, too.

Crazy, look at that.

I think that's what cuts the circulation to their brains.

Mike and Mink, thank you guys for showing up.

Oh, thank you.

I know you guys take it.

Talking about it.

Actually, I think Jeff's more like that fish is really not agreeing with me.

Can we get out of here?

And you're still number three in the

we're not number two anymore.

At least we're not number two.

First to lose.

Bronze by default.

Guys, it sucks being number two, and we would know.

Number two, pretty much all the time.

Congratulations to the winners.

Thank you.

I honestly didn't think we were going to do it.

I don't think so either, but the judges, they're no good.

They saw a talent.

They're impressed.

Yeah, yeah.

But thank you to all the judges.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Frank, Mrs.

Five.

Troy, Jeff, thank you.

Thanks, guys.

Thanks, guys.

Thank you.

Thank you, Walt.

Everybody out there, TV Lamps.

Walt, Planet Sun.

What a production.

Yeah, you guys really was like

a hell of a ride that you guys put together.

Yeah, we didn't even do any elephant challenges, but that's for Negro.

Save them.

Yeah, dyslexia.

I didn't want to do it.

I retired dyslexia.

I want to bring it out many, many years from now.

And when it comes back out, it'll be special again.

Like it was the first time.

Greater chance of them having a stroke.

That's for sure.

And we want to say thank you to everyone who listens and has listened and our crew many years oh my god definitely

oh my god we got a major crew victor chuck rupp steve you got that

starge i mean there's so many people kevin you know

like pushing us to do a podcast button that on the network for all these episodes yeah me for being suicidal so we started in the first place

whatever brain damage you all had to invite me in

you weren't invited yeah

You pushed your way in.

You hijacked the URL and then stayed in.

So that would be it.

So

thanks to everyone.

I'm Steve Dave.

Hey, Tom Brady.

We've been seeing each other for a while now, and I know you're a multi-millionaire and five-time Super Bowl champion.

And even without any of that, you're a super hot fuckable 10 by anyone's standards, but

there's someone else.

Someone new.

A plaunchy middle-aged Jewish fellow who looks like he could be my dad.

And you have something besides me in common.

She works on Sundays, too.

It's finally down to just two.

Tommy B and you know who.

So what's a girl like me to do?

When she's sleeping with Tom Brady, but she's fucking you.

About between Mr.

Five Rings, first the man with a magic ding-a-ling.

You know, I wanna lick him.

I'm the cop, ding-dong.

But first, be my counter joint while I hit this bomb.

Hooked on that glass pipe.

Yeah, you know how I do.

Gets me stupid crazy.

I passed it to you.

Another record falls as you drop back to pass.

Fuck me from behind while we were pranking in bass.

Ooh, I'm blasted with that bowl's complete.

Now I'm like Tommy who shaking that ass to the beach.

Jeff shoots more than three splooches because he loves to fuck.

Here comes my curly face.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Cup that ass, yo.

That ass, yo.

Oldness, dick, yo.

dick, yo.

Perverts and sickles, and you're on all four.

That pink tackle.

Tackle, tackle.

Me go el loco.

Smoke myself stupid like that simple fuck goop.

Looked on that glass pipe, so no need to roof it.

Hello?

No, I'm sorry, Tom.

I can't find a Maui with you this weekend.

Jeff got us tickets to see Frozen on ice at the Metal Lands.

All I want to do is fucking, fucking, fuck.

And flutter, flutter, flutter while I sup, sup suck you hot like Sodom and Gomorrah And I got cotton mouth, so let's go find water Baby lift up that skirt, let me munch Tunk surf my top go like it's your Sunday lunch Lock the door close the curtain I dick in bronze Unlike Tom, you got me squirting Shaggy balls image I want Brady's balls too So nasty stuff a noise Where are you while we screw?

Buried deep in some hole My pussy's like a colleague's mansion.

It's cluttered and I'll use it to smother you like Giddam got mothered While this legend's chin is buried deep Watching it all from a closet Creep, you got some nerve, you perf, it don't stop.

About to pop this club now reserves.

Cushion deposits dropped.

Up that ass, yo.

Oh,

nick, yo.

Perfect and sickle.

And you're on all fours of the style.

Pluto, Pluto.

That pink tackle.

He go el loco.

Loco.

Smoke myself stupid like that simple fuck goofy.

Looked on that glass pipe, so no need to roofy.

Bitches come so hard I need a robot.

Now step back and recognize the real motherfucking goat.

Tom Brady, I'm so sorry, baby.

But Rockin' Jeff's cop's been driving me crazy and I'm all mixed up.

Hooked on that glass pipe.

And high on this thick brick, that's exactly my type.

Tom, I wish I could explain.

Why Sunday sick dip tricks drive me insane?

Can't come without a little pain.

Such a freak shit.

I call all the patriots to bullish.

And I'm so high, I don't know where the fuck I am.

Wish I could try to be less of a horsey.

Got a respectful lady, not a stock with a Z.

Cause when Tommy's scarf, you know where I'ma go.

I got where I'ma take a pull.

Which reminds me, Jeff.

I think I might be better with your head under the cask.

God got forgiven, gams.

God got forgiven, games.

God

got

games.

I'm sorry, God.

God got forgiven, games.

God got forgiven, games.

Jeff is

and cuckoo, cuckoo, cuckoo, cuckoo for hair clear clean.

This has been a production of Smodco Internet Radio, sir only at Smodcast.com.