#400.1: Making Haystory

Speaker 1 Ladies and gentlemen of the press.

Speaker 1 This is my time to shine.

Speaker 3 Mike, do you want to touch it with the ten foot fold? Let's go.

Speaker 5 Okay, Mike, touch it.

Speaker 6 I was waiting for this podcast to be aborted.

Speaker 5 I didn't think it was

Speaker 4 boom, it's a roasting

Speaker 8 first. I want to know how many times, Sunday Jeff, do you go on the internet and it's not accidental?

Speaker 5 I'm going to tell you something.

Speaker 9 Tell them, Steve Dave.

Speaker 8 Hello, and welcome to Tell'em Steve Dave episode 400.1

Speaker 13 Shocking our listeners with a second anniversary episode.

Speaker 8 A second installment. Nobody would have predicted it.

Speaker 14 Yeah, if everybody's real quiet, you could hear people's socks being blown off from across the country.

Speaker 8 Yeah, and we have a full house here.

Speaker 13 It may be the fullest house. It's maybe the record for the most guests on a TSD episode.
Maybe eclipsing 300, possibly.

Speaker 14 The roast? How many people are on the roast?

Speaker 17 This is more. Let's do the math, everyone.

Speaker 8 We're going to get sued by Netflix. This house is so full.

Speaker 24 Fullest house.

Speaker 25 So we've got a lot of people here.

Speaker 8 Go around, introduce everyone.

Speaker 13 Well, I mean,

Speaker 13 we were doing a big...

Speaker 26 What's your name?

Speaker 13 A big game show episode because, I mean,

Speaker 13 to celebrate episode 400, I thought, what better way than to

Speaker 13 bring all our the TSD family, the extended family in, and to not only

Speaker 13 bring all the TSD family in, but to also an opportunity to

Speaker 13 have another round of what I consider the greatest rivalry in podcasting today, the ISO Comics versus Tellum Steve Dave.

Speaker 8 The rivalry is so strong recently, they refused to release an episode we recorded almost a year ago now to celebrate 300.

Speaker 31 Gee, let me think, Brian. I put myself in your place when you said you demanded that we release that episode 300.
And I'm like, gee, what would Brian do? Oh, he'd tell me to go fuck myself.

Speaker 10 So, Brian, go fuck yourself.

Speaker 35 But you're going to be wow.

Speaker 8 I still have the file, so I could just release it.

Speaker 36 You should.

Speaker 13 That's why this is the greatest grush match in podcasting today.

Speaker 37 Do you hear that?

Speaker 8 Outside of podcasting, we love each other.

Speaker 38 Man, it's amazing.

Speaker 13 It's like Pacquiao and Meriwether. It's like, I mean, the trash talking, it's just unbelievable.
Wait a minute.

Speaker 3 Who's the one wearing the women's panties and the panty, you know, the stockings and all that?

Speaker 39 Huh? Who are you talking about?

Speaker 40 I don't mean it doesn't mean that's going to tell us because

Speaker 45 I think it did.

Speaker 30 Shit, we're checking out.

Speaker 13 But you're right. The full hatch.
Want to go and introduce everybody?

Speaker 48 Good, God. All right.
Well,

Speaker 14 start with Ming Chen.

Speaker 49 Hello, everybody.

Speaker 33 Fan favorite from the beginning, wouldn't you say?

Speaker 13 Oh, yeah. It's there from the very start.

Speaker 8 And you encouraged him to start his own podcast. You said you would love to see a Mike and Ming show.
Mike Zampson.

Speaker 13 I don't list that on my resume very often. But today I will, though, yes.

Speaker 14 Did they ever give you royalties for using the song you wrote as a title of their podcast?

Speaker 17 Did you guys work out a deal on that?

Speaker 5 When we make money off of our podcast,

Speaker 52 he's the first one getting paid.

Speaker 3 Mike, get that contract out that we signed.

Speaker 35 You got it.

Speaker 13 i've got i've got shares in exactly all right that's what i'm getting at okay it's like bitcoin one day

Speaker 14 or owning a piece of get him's backyard cryptic currency it's extremely volatile i'll give you the heads up on that

Speaker 8 everybody knows q yes hello hi everybody welcome to the other side of 400 but uh also another another guy who um who bucked the odds became a like a basically a matinee idol of telepsieve d A mythical figure.

Speaker 8 Sunday Jeff.

Speaker 20 Hello.

Speaker 13 Yep. Definitely.
Also, very early on, very early member guest on Tellum Steve Dave, and he's he stayed with us.

Speaker 8 He's been there from the beginning. And despite his complete inability

Speaker 8 to string together a coherent sentence, he succeeds.

Speaker 59 He's not.

Speaker 64 It's my language.

Speaker 65 I got to say,

Speaker 65 you're like our Paul Rudd.

Speaker 14 Like, everybody loves you. Everybody just wants to see more of you.
Everybody just thinks you're the gosh darn best.

Speaker 66 But

Speaker 25 if they thought about it, they'd be like, but why?

Speaker 39 Like, why do I?

Speaker 35 Yeah, why do you think they just don't think about it?

Speaker 14 They don't think about it. He's just got that genise quai.

Speaker 8 Yeah, that's how the friend is.

Speaker 14 Yeah.

Speaker 68 And Troy.

Speaker 70 All right, let's go.

Speaker 8 Officer Troy. I just spent

Speaker 8 New Year's Eve with Officer Troy.

Speaker 48 Oh, yeah?

Speaker 8 Yeah, it was eventful.

Speaker 33 In jail? That's it?

Speaker 54 I really can't say anything.

Speaker 13 Would you be allowed to talk about it? Would you go on patrol?

Speaker 71 A ride-along? Yeah.

Speaker 51 Oh, I don't know. Can I go on a ride along?

Speaker 39 Absolutely.

Speaker 72 I've been telling you for years you should come by.

Speaker 14 Can we both come at the same time?

Speaker 73 Absolutely.

Speaker 39 What are we doing?

Speaker 31 Can you sign out a patty wagon?

Speaker 39 Do we have a little badges?

Speaker 17 Oh, do we got little badges?

Speaker 72 Yeah, we have little community affairs has them to give out to the little kids and they have coloring books and stuff.

Speaker 8 Cop and a half. If you think that's not good enough for us,

Speaker 14 you just lit up my fucking night.

Speaker 3 That means one of you have to sit in the back, though. You can't fit two people in the front seat.

Speaker 12 We probably have to both sit in the back.

Speaker 44 We're riding along.

Speaker 13 You can't fit two people in a cop car in a front seat?

Speaker 72 No, the well, actually, in the MARC cars, they have like a computer in the middle, but in the unmarked cars, yeah, you could.

Speaker 51 I'll go in the back cars.

Speaker 36 Is that your book's been telling you the whole time?

Speaker 71 Right on, right off there.

Speaker 13 But as if you pick up a perp, though, and he has got to go in the back seat with those guys, though.

Speaker 8 If he's got his deputies with him, we're definitely picking up a purpose.

Speaker 72 Absolutely.

Speaker 67 Got a colonel.

Speaker 72 Yeah, I mean, I probably couldn't stop you from trying to buy drugs, and I would have to do something.

Speaker 34 So I'm the deputy. I'm the first.

Speaker 8 I went bad within an hour.

Speaker 79 Who else we got here?

Speaker 84 Father Lance.

Speaker 6 Hello, Talon CJ Pal.

Speaker 8 Wow. Father Lance, we don't see you that much, but when we do.

Speaker 13 For very, very special occasions.

Speaker 13 We break out, Father Lance.

Speaker 8 Do you still text with Father Lance about sports and stuff?

Speaker 39 Absolutely.

Speaker 13 I didn't text with him lately because I know his Steelers are in a disarray, so I've been kind of quiet.

Speaker 13 For the most part,

Speaker 13 we talk text quite often over sports.

Speaker 8 Anytime you do ever text about religious stuff or just spiritual things?

Speaker 13 He sent me some spiritual messages that really helped me from time to time, just like, you know.

Speaker 14 But like a text?

Speaker 13 Through text.

Speaker 14 Like a picture of Jesus.

Speaker 13 No, just like wishing my family, blessing my family on Christmas and stuff like that.

Speaker 5 Brian's going to hell.

Speaker 86 I've got my number, Lance.

Speaker 8 I don't think I've gotten one blessing.

Speaker 8 In fact, I can tell you for sure I haven't.

Speaker 87 Just one.

Speaker 61 They all go this guy.

Speaker 8 The fucking social justice warrior of Columbus Town.

Speaker 8 If anyone's going to stand up for the rights of the marginalized and oppressed and whatever other fucking buzzword is popular this week, it's going to be Chris Lagondo.

Speaker 48 Hello, everyone.

Speaker 90 I'm a very sharp-looking polo.

Speaker 7 I was going to say,

Speaker 40 but Donald doesn't work.

Speaker 14 He's one of those guys that, like, they're getting better looking the older they get, man.

Speaker 15 He's looking all sharp put together.

Speaker 8 You know, it's a little bit of gray in his hair.

Speaker 14 Yeah, it makes him look distinguished.

Speaker 6 Too handsome for true TV, is what you're saying.

Speaker 14 No, I don't know if there's such a thing, man.

Speaker 9 That Carbonaro is a good-looking guy.

Speaker 34 He is.

Speaker 50 Paul and Walnuts. I just got

Speaker 60 totally.

Speaker 39 He said poly walnuts.

Speaker 60 Look good ding.

Speaker 25 It's better than Ghostbusters.

Speaker 8 And then that is true.

Speaker 5 Frank Five.

Speaker 21 Another guy.

Speaker 25 Fan favorite.

Speaker 91 Listener favorite.

Speaker 8 Neck and neck with Sunday Jeff. Do you guys.

Speaker 8 Oh, really? You're going to defer to Sunday Jeff, huh?

Speaker 92 He's definitely better.

Speaker 16 Yeah.

Speaker 16 Real.

Speaker 17 Incoherent sentences. Really?

Speaker 93 Frank stop.

Speaker 31 Wife's sitting next to you. Don't be saying that because she'll agree.

Speaker 4 You got to introduce.

Speaker 95 The missus.

Speaker 8 I'll introduce what are they called?

Speaker 48 The better half, right?

Speaker 8 Do you consider yourself the better half of

Speaker 5 the fives? The two fives?

Speaker 18 Yes, I do.

Speaker 8 Like, when you go out with decent folk, right?

Speaker 8 People like you, they are not really that turned on to Frank Five, I would imagine. Yeah, absolutely.
She's delusional.

Speaker 67 Frank Five.

Speaker 8 Frank Five, anyone even your friends can see that.

Speaker 8 You're not as likable as she is.

Speaker 8 So you got the fives.

Speaker 13 You forgot somebody.

Speaker 7 Oh, get them?

Speaker 39 Howdy all.

Speaker 8 Get him, Steve Dave.

Speaker 13 Certainly not in the mix for fan favorite.

Speaker 9 I disagree. I disagree.

Speaker 11 Not in the beginning.

Speaker 13 I mean, I've seen people wish death upon him, though.

Speaker 10 Well, I don't know.

Speaker 70 I say in a mirror.

Speaker 100 For God's sake.

Speaker 54 I have not wished

Speaker 39 that work for Frank Vaughan.

Speaker 13 No, I have not seen anybody wish their demise.

Speaker 14 Love that polarizing aspect to it.

Speaker 13 He's the heel of Tom Steve Dave, right?

Speaker 14 Yeah, he's sometimes the heel.

Speaker 88 He's the heel of life.

Speaker 14 He is

Speaker 5 a heel of bread. I think people do.

Speaker 53 I thought people turned the corner.

Speaker 13 There's definitely, we definitely.

Speaker 14 Well, something's wrong with them because that is a sweet, lovely man right there.

Speaker 13 Plus, he gave you that awesome Christmas present.

Speaker 93 I'm not saying it's because of that.

Speaker 28 I thought you said mammoth.

Speaker 17 I was like, wow. No, no.

Speaker 14 That's just not mammoth. Very thoughtful, very thoughtful young man.

Speaker 13 So I thought for episode 400, we would have...

Speaker 8 Remember, episode 400 was awesome.

Speaker 40 This is 400. 4.1.

Speaker 4 Sorry.

Speaker 102 Don't get me started, please.

Speaker 34 This is how much people loved it.

Speaker 103 All right,

Speaker 104 let's start over.

Speaker 54 Classic episode.

Speaker 13 I thought we would do a Tell them Steve Dave experience for this episode where we would play mini rounds of some of the more favorite events that we've had.

Speaker 13 Little games.

Speaker 13 And some new games as well tonight. Almost all the games here tonight or activities involve podcasting.
So if you're a podcaster, you should do well tonight. And there is no

Speaker 13 prize or championship at the end of tonight.

Speaker 14 Or point even.

Speaker 13 I just thought some old-fashioned, you know, bragging rights, you know, for once

Speaker 13 instead of having to play for some sort of

Speaker 14 cash, costly prize.

Speaker 40 Skin.

Speaker 8 So, Mike and Ming, let's just, let's, for sake of argument, you guys win. Okay.

Speaker 32 Who's the first person you brag to?

Speaker 39 It's got to be the missus, right?

Speaker 3 No, yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
It's definitely Debbie Chen.

Speaker 31 Yeah, I'm going home and waking the wife up.

Speaker 61 Guess what I did?

Speaker 31 She's shut the fuck up.

Speaker 106 You know, she's going to care.

Speaker 13 But Mary Beth, come on. You know that you're going to go right home.
If you lose, it's like, does she, is she extra nice to you

Speaker 13 to try to cheer you up if you lose her?

Speaker 14 She can calm you down.

Speaker 79 You're not a loser.

Speaker 25 And it's like, well, there's nowhere to go now.

Speaker 29 So even if you win tonight, she goes,

Speaker 13 I won Mary Beth. And she's like, what'd you win?

Speaker 63 And it's like, bragging, right?

Speaker 19 Did you?

Speaker 13 I listened to episode 200. They were giving all the real prizes on Telm Steve Dave.

Speaker 20 You won?

Speaker 24 So.

Speaker 51 I won, I won.

Speaker 109 Now, like I said,

Speaker 13 I consider I Saw Comics versus Tellum Steve Dave the greatest grudge match on podcast right now. Right.
But we're adding a new wrinkle tonight. We're adding a third team to the mix.

Speaker 30 Oh, man.

Speaker 13 An expansion team.

Speaker 3 Who's won the bid for the expansion?

Speaker 13 Officer Troy and Sunday Jeff.

Speaker 83 Wow.

Speaker 74 Jeez. Wow.

Speaker 3 Congratulations, gentlemen.

Speaker 8 Those guys, surely they talk all the time.

Speaker 71 Texas,

Speaker 85 they know each other.

Speaker 72 Finish each other's sentences.

Speaker 8 They vacation in Key West together.

Speaker 13 I just thought their personalities would just generate a lot of content, a lot of like great,

Speaker 13 you know, what's it called when you're compatible. I just thought they were very compatible.
Chemistry. Chemistry is everything.

Speaker 21 Sympatico.

Speaker 71 Yeah.

Speaker 13 So I thought that these guys are going to be now like the, everybody roots for the new guy.

Speaker 33 So you're going to be the underdog.

Speaker 13 Yeah, the young, the fresh fish. They're all going to be all over these guys.
So you guys are going to have to try to beat

Speaker 13 the newcomers tonight.

Speaker 72 This is awkward, but we were all just at dinner together, and Jeff was sitting right next to me, and I was talking across the table to Brian the entire time.

Speaker 19 I don't think I talked about that.

Speaker 14 They didn't even consult on the menu, which is odd.

Speaker 17 We're sitting next to it.

Speaker 30 The only fish I had was what I ate.

Speaker 44 That's it. Yeah.

Speaker 14 Yeah. So it was something.
Jeff had fish.

Speaker 94 He did. Yes, he did.

Speaker 14 And he had a steak. He had a salmon.
He had the organic salmon.

Speaker 17 Yeah, I'm not a big steak eater.

Speaker 13 You knew you were playing

Speaker 13 steaks tonight and you went with fish?

Speaker 63 Yeah.

Speaker 96 so don't fuck yourself, asshole.

Speaker 45 I gotta say,

Speaker 19 I gotta say, I'm looking at what he's eating.

Speaker 11 I'm like, why the fuck would anyone do that to him?

Speaker 30 It's so not a big steak eater.

Speaker 21 It was good. Poor bastard.

Speaker 13 It was really good. Was he the only one who had seafood?

Speaker 5 I was not.

Speaker 8 Somebody, one other person, did.

Speaker 12 Okay.

Speaker 73 No.

Speaker 31 The dishwasher.

Speaker 104 All right.

Speaker 34 So you have to eat what's on.

Speaker 4 So you're the free fish.

Speaker 112 It'd be fucking great.

Speaker 39 I fucking love this country.

Speaker 47 Damn right.

Speaker 13 So we got the three teams, and now we'll announce our judges. Got Father Lance will be judging tonight.

Speaker 13 I thought, how awesome is it to have a real father in here judging? and scoring tonight. I thought that's what I mean.

Speaker 21 Is that all you do?

Speaker 113 Well, just judge.

Speaker 8 Well, judge because you're a priest, and I've seen his wife. I know my wife's scoring all the time.

Speaker 34 He's a fucknut.

Speaker 87 He's a sexy guy.

Speaker 51 Right?

Speaker 39 Where is she? Am I right?

Speaker 60 Right?

Speaker 45 All right. Well, men of God in the house.

Speaker 31 See, this is why he doesn't text you spiritual shit.

Speaker 49 Can I make a suggestion?

Speaker 13 Sure.

Speaker 6 To raise the competition level to honor TSESD history, I say they play for the naming rights to all new Pucknuts.

Speaker 13 I don't think anybody even listens to Pucknuts. It's behind the paywall now.

Speaker 8 Well, I think the TSD listeners.

Speaker 98 Can you cut that part of my wife?

Speaker 13 Also judging tonight, Chris Lodondo.

Speaker 8 Another guy who judges a lot, right?

Speaker 73 Totally.

Speaker 115 Yeah.

Speaker 31 Oh, he judges everyone on Twitter, Facebook, Instagram.

Speaker 13 And joining

Speaker 13 Chris, Frank Five,

Speaker 13 and Mrs. Five.
And you're not judging as a team. You're your own voice tonight, Mrs.

Speaker 19 Five.

Speaker 76 First time.

Speaker 85 Congratulations.

Speaker 16 It's the 1920s again.

Speaker 99 Suffering.

Speaker 34 Which sounds similar to mine.

Speaker 54 We're turning suffering into

Speaker 25 a judgmental pair on

Speaker 6 the family. The least judgmental too.

Speaker 13 But there is a.

Speaker 113 I mean, you know, you got me.

Speaker 13 There was a reason why I made Frank the judge because we're playing an old favorite tonight, and it demanded that Frank be judgment

Speaker 13 in that part of the podcast tonight.

Speaker 8 So, in other words, you only used you because you had to.

Speaker 13 You guys ready to begin with a new game? A game we've never played before? Yeah, it's called All Apologies.

Speaker 13 It's where I give you a multiple-choice question regarding a real-life situation that resulted in an apology. Guess right and get 20 points.

Speaker 13 Guess wrong, and you get a scenario that you must issue an apology for.

Speaker 13 The judges will reward a score

Speaker 13 from one to five based on what get them

Speaker 118 a how sincere the apology is, B, how groveling the apology is, and C, how encompassing how

Speaker 7 you fucked up

Speaker 4 148, 148, 1,400, 148,

Speaker 119 and it's the only thing.

Speaker 13 You know what Giddam told me today? He doesn't want to do retakes.

Speaker 21 He's like on one take, one take.

Speaker 118 How encompassing the apology is. Number C.

Speaker 62 Number number C.

Speaker 56 How encompassing.

Speaker 4 There we go.

Speaker 94 Get him.

Speaker 30 I'm reading off the apartment.

Speaker 17 Recover, get him, recover, get him.

Speaker 14 Don't let them shake. Yeah, I know, but don't let them shake.

Speaker 118 And C, how all-encompassing the apology is.

Speaker 13 Nice. Okay, so you guys get it?

Speaker 62 Yep. Yeah.
Now you'll have.

Speaker 76 But wait, I'm sorry, I got one to find.

Speaker 14 Just one claim. How do you avoid giving the apology if you guessed the apology?

Speaker 13 If you guessed the multiple choice, where I give you a real-life situation in the real world where someone had to issue an apology, you guess right, give them multiple choice, you get 20 points.

Speaker 13 Get it wrong, and then your team has to issue an apology.

Speaker 14 So it's possible that all three teams are issuing an apology in one round. Yes.
Got it. Okay, I got it.

Speaker 13 And you'll have a minute 30 to deliver your apology on the clock.

Speaker 14 Is it a team apology?

Speaker 17 It has to be.

Speaker 123 It's a team apology.

Speaker 13 Somebody has to finish, start it, and somebody has to finish.

Speaker 6 Okay. All right.

Speaker 14 So we will never win. Sincerity.

Speaker 7 Showing.

Speaker 71 Yeah.

Speaker 25 Encompassing or not.

Speaker 14 Okay. Wow.
All right. So we really got to guess right.

Speaker 98 Yeah.

Speaker 62 Because that apology game is.

Speaker 17 90-second apology.

Speaker 5 Sarah.

Speaker 40 I really, really, really, really.

Speaker 53 I'm sorry for you, right?

Speaker 49 90-second.

Speaker 8 I think you could add up all the apologies in my life.

Speaker 13 I knew I was putting

Speaker 13 one arm behind your back tonight in this game, but that's why I wanted to do it because you guys, I don't see you guys. You're the alpha dogs.
You never apologize to anybody, right?

Speaker 115 Sure. Well,

Speaker 20 I would apologize

Speaker 14 for anything at any given time if I meant this.

Speaker 14 I will. Do just tell me what's upset you.

Speaker 13 I don't see you groveling. When's the last time you groveled?

Speaker 88 I don't think I have groveled.

Speaker 13 It sucks. Let me tell you, it does.

Speaker 17 Well, when was the last time you groveled?

Speaker 67 Oh, my God.

Speaker 13 Any number of times.

Speaker 34 Before the mics went hot.

Speaker 15 I honestly, that's an interesting question.

Speaker 51 I don't think I've ever groveled.

Speaker 63 No?

Speaker 48 Never begged?

Speaker 4 I'm so sorry.

Speaker 14 Maybe some of that shit, I guess. I don't know.

Speaker 88 I don't remember.

Speaker 13 Do you guys want to go first? Or do you guys would prefer to let another team go first so you can see how the game is played? This is very foreign to you guys.

Speaker 5 It sounds like Oh, I fucking get him explained.

Speaker 14 I personally can't wait.

Speaker 9 Troy, yeah, that's what I'm waiting for you.

Speaker 76 All right, guys.

Speaker 13 Would you like to read the first question, get him?

Speaker 118 Do you trust me? Yes, I do.

Speaker 20 Okay.

Speaker 51 Okay.

Speaker 51 Okay.

Speaker 91 Expansion team, you ready?

Speaker 118 Jeff and Troy, are you ready?

Speaker 88 Yes. I'm ready.

Speaker 4 All right.

Speaker 118 What CEO apologized for eating at Chick-fil-A?

Speaker 10 Chick-fil-A?

Speaker 30 Chick-fil-A. Chick-fil-a.

Speaker 120 It is? Chick-fil-A.

Speaker 70 for years. It's a sneaker.

Speaker 40 Chick-fil-A.

Speaker 18 Holy fuck.

Speaker 31 You should apologize for saying that.

Speaker 58 I've been calling it. Okay, wow.

Speaker 49 All right. I know.

Speaker 34 You got a film. Chick-fil-A.

Speaker 4 Chick-fil-A.

Speaker 125 Chick-fil-A.

Speaker 4 Okay.

Speaker 4 This is so.

Speaker 118 Wood CEO apologized for eating a Chick-fil-A.

Speaker 117 A.

Speaker 118 Tesla's. Tesla's Elon Musk.

Speaker 15 Is he okay?

Speaker 30 Why do you come here and check that?

Speaker 70 I am drinking with you guys before.

Speaker 59 No, that's what I'm saying.

Speaker 126 Are you all right, pal?

Speaker 42 Yeah.

Speaker 62 I already looked at eating like pink chips off the top of the water.

Speaker 4 Take a breath, bro. I know.

Speaker 39 It took all that time to paint.

Speaker 14 Reset, Game. Don't let him get to you.
It's good.

Speaker 111 Do you want me to finish this?

Speaker 74 Never let him see you.

Speaker 72 We'll CEO apologize for eating the Chick-fil-A.

Speaker 118 Yes. A, Tesla's Elon Musk.
B, Twitter's Jack Dorsey. C, Amazon's Jeff Bezos.
Or D, Fakes Books Mark Zuckerberg.

Speaker 19 There's somebody champs laughing at you.

Speaker 72 I think it's either Jack Dorsey or Zuckerberg.

Speaker 98 I think it might be Jack Dorsey.

Speaker 62 Somebody just like, what's Twitter?

Speaker 124 How's my Twitter?

Speaker 18 How's my Twitter going?

Speaker 47 What's Chick-fil-A?

Speaker 6 Take away Twitter, take away Facebook.

Speaker 73 Let's see, what do we got left?

Speaker 118 Amazon's Jeff Bezos or Tesla's Elon Musk.

Speaker 10 What did they apologize for?

Speaker 35 For eating a Chick-fil-A or Chick-fil-A.

Speaker 72 The owner of Chick-fil-A is religious and disclosed on Sundays and is against their marriage.

Speaker 24 So

Speaker 72 they apologize for supporting a business.

Speaker 25 By the way, why the hell you apologize?

Speaker 7 I mean,

Speaker 66 there's one guy on the mall now.

Speaker 38 But you have a great job.

Speaker 85 It's Jack Dorsey.

Speaker 80 Oh, man.

Speaker 13 Sunday, Jeff, we need another.

Speaker 31 You have to love their beliefs.

Speaker 25 Dorsey?

Speaker 13 Dorsey. Twitter's Jack Dorsey.

Speaker 36 That's what we're going with.

Speaker 19 Correct.

Speaker 40 20 points.

Speaker 5 He saved your ass.

Speaker 37 That's all right.

Speaker 17 He knows that.

Speaker 36 That's what police are supposed to do. Catch your partner's ass, right?

Speaker 30 Catch their ass.

Speaker 59 Save their ass. Save their ass.

Speaker 85 I'm sorry, Father.

Speaker 106 Now, judges,

Speaker 13 I'm really curious to like what, like, you deal in apologies a lot, right, Father Lance?

Speaker 13 I mean, that's all you hear, probably, right, all day long is people apologizing, and you have to, like, give them like Hail Marys or remember our fathers.

Speaker 8 I don't hear confessions.

Speaker 13 Oh, you don't hear.

Speaker 63 So you, okay.

Speaker 13 So what would you put that apology? Did you feel that was warranted? That should have, should Jack Dorsey have apologized for that?

Speaker 23 No.

Speaker 13 And judges? Chris would.

Speaker 113 Fuck yeah.

Speaker 29 Really? You really feeling? No, not at all.

Speaker 13 All right. So off to a great start.
Wow. Jeff and Troy,

Speaker 13 this is for TSD.

Speaker 118 Okay, the next question is for Team TESD.

Speaker 25 All right. Are you ready?

Speaker 73 Yes.

Speaker 118 Okay, let's hope I am.

Speaker 118 Who apologized for calling Carrie Fisher, quote, the most beautiful creature I had ever seen? She turned out to be witty and bright as well. Is it A, Mark Hamill?

Speaker 13 Steve Martin.

Speaker 58 P, B,

Speaker 4 B, Peter Mayhew.

Speaker 118 C, Steve Martin,

Speaker 118 or D, Chevy Chase.

Speaker 14 Steve Martin.

Speaker 13 You're talking to two

Speaker 121 one and a quarter titans of the industry.

Speaker 15 We're in the club, man.

Speaker 88 People are not going to know this.

Speaker 4 Correct? 20 points.

Speaker 40 Wow.

Speaker 63 Wow.

Speaker 14 Thank you. That's right.

Speaker 3 Good job, guys. Without hesitation.

Speaker 14 Yeah, because I remember thinking that was bullshit that they made an apology.

Speaker 64 Why don't you chew an R on there instead of 20?

Speaker 54 Sorry.

Speaker 44 Yeah, why is there an at symbol on there?

Speaker 39 All right.

Speaker 117 Ready?

Speaker 102 Yes.

Speaker 118 Witch network recently issued an apology for killing off a gay character despite the fact that the actress had chosen to leave.

Speaker 51 off

Speaker 14 that really you have to respect it.

Speaker 13 But at some point, it's just the same

Speaker 26 phrase differently.

Speaker 14 Yeah, but you have to find the joy in the phrasing.

Speaker 110 I mean, that was fucking.

Speaker 90 I know he's found it for everyone.

Speaker 100 No, look at all.

Speaker 36 Look at all happy.

Speaker 44 So fucking the craft. Continue.

Speaker 5 Continue the point. Look how miserable I am in those

Speaker 88 shirtless

Speaker 118 witch network recently issued an apology for killing off a gay character despite the fact that the actress had chosen to leave the show to fulfill other commitments. Is it A, AMC?

Speaker 58 B, CBS,

Speaker 118 C, the CW, or D, B E T?

Speaker 10 Another pitted against each other. You're a big one.

Speaker 31 I thought it was a confession from you, Brian.

Speaker 8 It was a tough one, boys.

Speaker 3 I know, yeah, that's what I would guess. I mean, I haven't watched regular TV in a long time.

Speaker 3 And you've been watching Boston Legal on Netflix.

Speaker 62 Yeah, I don't watch that.

Speaker 5 Something from like 80 years ago.

Speaker 3 I love that everyone's watching fucking Bird Box and like Black Mirror. You're like, I'm watching Boston Legal.
Why not?

Speaker 20 Why not?

Speaker 67 Why?

Speaker 8 Well, because Ellie McBeal isn't on it.

Speaker 102 And William Shatner.

Speaker 25 I like Shatner. Yeah.

Speaker 3 Well, that's what I mean.

Speaker 31 I would have to say the CW.

Speaker 130 Yeah. CW.

Speaker 3 Yes, I concur.

Speaker 13 You concur, Giddam. What's the right answer?

Speaker 58 Correct. CW.

Speaker 15 Oh, wow.

Speaker 131 I thought of the characters from The Walking Dead.

Speaker 33 That died. Yeah.

Speaker 51 All right.

Speaker 13 Back to Team Jeff and Troy, right?

Speaker 118 Yes.

Speaker 118 Everybody has 20 points on the board if you don't have video.

Speaker 58 thanks, Gatum.

Speaker 28 All right.

Speaker 8 Don't have video, it's written on two old cardboard systems.

Speaker 13 Well, for people listening, this episode is on the

Speaker 13 video is on Patreon, though.

Speaker 48 Oh, yeah? Yeah.

Speaker 13 So you can get to see this thing, you know, not only hear it if you're on Patreon. All right, Gatum.
Number six.

Speaker 118 Number six for Team Jeff and Troy.

Speaker 118 Which airline apologized for an airline employee that mocked a five-year-old name and posted it on social media? The name was

Speaker 118 ABCDE, pronounced AB City.

Speaker 88 Correct?

Speaker 54 Ab City.

Speaker 118 Ab City. Okay.

Speaker 118 A, Southwest Airlines. B, JetBlue.
C, American. Or D, Delta.

Speaker 8 First, I want to know how many times, Sunday Drift, do you go on the internet and it's not accidental?

Speaker 8 How often do I go in there looking for something? This is the kind of thing I'm like, there's no way he's aware of it.

Speaker 36 No. Troy light.
Troy Light.

Speaker 111 Troy, definitely.

Speaker 67 Yeah.

Speaker 8 because this is the kind of shit troy would immediately text text me

Speaker 72 uh i believe southwest

Speaker 102 that is correct whoa

Speaker 24 we're not getting any apologies though troy sorry well sorry

Speaker 25 sorry that we're getting them right wow i'll give you a three on sincerity yeah

Speaker 8 what was your feeling about that chris should uh should they have apologized I don't know.

Speaker 84 Yeah, yeah.

Speaker 25 Because the name is pretty freaking ridiculous.

Speaker 67 Well, here's the thing. They're not laughing at the little girl.

Speaker 39 They're laughing at the mother.

Speaker 19 Talk about the mother.

Speaker 8 That name is dopey.

Speaker 85 It just is.

Speaker 104 It's totally dopey.

Speaker 120 All right.

Speaker 5 Next up is Team T.

Speaker 51 There you go.

Speaker 118 Next up is Team TSD. Are you ready? Oh, yeah.

Speaker 118 Okay.

Speaker 118 What animal did a California Aquarium social media account have to apologize for posting a photo with the words like thick and chunk?

Speaker 118 Is it A, a dolphin? B, a pufferfish?

Speaker 118 C, an otter, or D, a jellyfish.

Speaker 14 Want to handle this one, my friend?

Speaker 8 I would love to. Much like my friend, my smooth, hairless friend Ming Chen, right here, it was an otter.

Speaker 4 Correct, that is correct. Correct.

Speaker 53 Wow. Whoa, Walt.

Speaker 13 You had to be upset about that one, all right?

Speaker 39 About the otter? Yeah.

Speaker 67 No, Walt, I don't care anymore about it.

Speaker 34 Oh, you've given up?

Speaker 18 I gave it up.

Speaker 7 Trump, Trump, Trump.

Speaker 121 You was it.

Speaker 34 You was it.

Speaker 118 I think it's Otter 2020.

Speaker 6 The outrage is kind of getting ridiculous.

Speaker 25 Wow.

Speaker 103 A lot of young people.

Speaker 104 Maybe you're sick of the outrage?

Speaker 74 It's kind of ridiculous.

Speaker 37 Why are you here then?

Speaker 4 I don't know.

Speaker 34 Something like that is so manufacturing.

Speaker 79 Are you trying to tell him to kill himself?

Speaker 87 No. I'm just saying.

Speaker 10 Comments.

Speaker 8 Most people are in support of it.

Speaker 8 It's like people just fucking around.

Speaker 115 Like, calm the fuck down.

Speaker 20 Okay.

Speaker 39 All right.

Speaker 127 Go with this one.

Speaker 118 Team I saw comics. Are you ready for your question?

Speaker 5 Let's go.

Speaker 118 Which Olympic gold medalist had to issue an apology to the special Olympic community after dressing up like Simple Jack from Tropic Thunder? Is it A, Apollo Ono?

Speaker 118 B, Sean White, C, Hussain Bolt, or D, Michael Phelps?

Speaker 63 I think it's got to be Apollo Onari.

Speaker 13 Why do you think that?

Speaker 63 I don't know.

Speaker 48 Because

Speaker 31 that was the first one he said.

Speaker 106 I have no fucking school.

Speaker 3 Your choice. That's Sean White's a loose cannon.

Speaker 17 Snowball. What did you say?

Speaker 130 He did smoke pot.

Speaker 20 Sean White.

Speaker 60 He did.

Speaker 34 I thought he was just in the room.

Speaker 118 I thought White was just in the room.

Speaker 5 It was fast.

Speaker 51 I'll agree with you.

Speaker 33 Go for it.

Speaker 63 Apollo Ono.

Speaker 132 Apollo Ono.

Speaker 86 Wrong.

Speaker 81 Incorrect.

Speaker 2 Oh, no.

Speaker 89 Jack got good brain.

Speaker 104 That's good, guys.

Speaker 3 That was a correct answer.

Speaker 24 It was Sean White.

Speaker 13 But that's okay. Now we're into something good now.

Speaker 13 Nobody wants to listen to people getting right answers.

Speaker 39 That's boring as hell.

Speaker 4 No, I agree.

Speaker 3 I agree.

Speaker 118 That's why they listen to TESD.

Speaker 3 That's why I pretend I was hypnotized.

Speaker 9 I didn't want a boring episode.

Speaker 26 All right.

Speaker 20 Still telling that line.

Speaker 49 It's fucking method acting.

Speaker 71 All right.

Speaker 71 He was committed.

Speaker 17 What can you say?

Speaker 13 Mike and Ming, this is your scenario, but you must apologize to the judges. So you will be writing down a score between

Speaker 39 how many judges scores between one and five.

Speaker 13 A perfect score gives you 20, just what I got with the right score. Okay.

Speaker 111 Time begins when.

Speaker 13 One being the worst, five being the absolute best apology you ever heard. And remember, guys, it's about groveling.
Okay. It's about

Speaker 13 sincerity. Encompassing and sincerity.

Speaker 118 Okay. Time begins when you finish reading.

Speaker 13 You got the timer, Ming?

Speaker 28 Yep. I got the timer ready.

Speaker 20 Ming.

Speaker 104 These two are Flinton.

Speaker 40 No.

Speaker 44 Flannon's son. Flannon and Son.
Oh, man.

Speaker 88 They took a hit after that.

Speaker 13 I called Gid and Ming. That's my only boo-boo so far, I think.

Speaker 25 It's a big boo-boo.

Speaker 13 So, you retweet a video of your child solving a Rubik's Cube insanely fast with the hashtag world's fastest RubikCube solver.

Speaker 13 You are immediately assaulted with messages that the colorblind people have no idea what's going on, and they are just watching someone spin a square around, apologize for the insensitive video you posted.

Speaker 46 I feel like this one is up there, Chris.

Speaker 13 So, start the tire, get it? Let's start it.

Speaker 49 Go. Okay.

Speaker 31 Ladies and gentlemen, I'm so sorry that you are unable to enjoy colors the way that normal human beings are.

Speaker 132 Normal. Normal.

Speaker 31 Not that you're not normal,

Speaker 40 of course. Good recovery.

Speaker 31 I'm sure you can enjoy things that we can't like seeing in black and white. Yes, exactly.
Thank you, Brian.

Speaker 31 I don't know how much much more I can truly apologize because you're fucking colorblind.

Speaker 58 Who gives you shit?

Speaker 118 Listen a minute.

Speaker 52 You're watching me spin a square around? My kid?

Speaker 31 My kid, I'm proud of my kid. You should be proud of your children.

Speaker 3 I don't know him.

Speaker 5 That's sincere.

Speaker 3 I know what I did was wrong.

Speaker 3 I just didn't think the excitement came over me.

Speaker 102 And, you know,

Speaker 3 listen, I post a lot of things, and sometimes I don't think about what I post, and you know, I don't, I, I post for my own enjoyment, not for other people's enjoyment, or, or to other people's detriment, and and I'm sorry, I didn't mean to offend you whatsoever, and I'll never do it again.

Speaker 31 Wow, you are such a gal.

Speaker 40 If you missed anything for sincerity, I'll be sure.

Speaker 13 How much time?

Speaker 55 Time is up.

Speaker 13 Wow, that was, I mean, that's spoken like a man who's definitely had the grovel, huh?

Speaker 105 Many times.

Speaker 5 That's many times.

Speaker 13 You even had the water in your eyes.

Speaker 39 A little bit, yeah.

Speaker 28 Was it water?

Speaker 70 Sure, water to that vlog, right?

Speaker 28 You're just never going to stop.

Speaker 13 All right, Father Lance, did you write down a numerical score?

Speaker 39 I'm writing it down.

Speaker 25 You had one job, Father.

Speaker 13 And then after you reveal your number, and then you can tell us why you gave that number.

Speaker 73 Okay.

Speaker 6 Team ISO Comics is getting a 2.5 out of 5.

Speaker 5 Okay.

Speaker 33 I felt Ming's groveling was

Speaker 12 pathetic, as it should have been.

Speaker 3 Isn't groveling pathetic, though?

Speaker 44 Right, sorry.

Speaker 105 It should be pathetic.

Speaker 113 Okay, okay, that's good. It's good.

Speaker 105 Okay, that's clarifying.

Speaker 32 What about your own? Now,

Speaker 32 I

Speaker 32 gave Mike sincerity points since he flipped out and flipped the script on.

Speaker 13 That didn't work against him?

Speaker 33 Well,

Speaker 32 he could have got five, you know, if they were both sincere, but since he

Speaker 39 Mike

Speaker 114 groveled but was insincere, might have

Speaker 47 grovel and was sincere.

Speaker 13 Yeah, Mike, Mike got angry.

Speaker 8 Yeah, Mike should have gotten a zero, right?

Speaker 72 His anger was sincere, but he wasn't apologizing.

Speaker 13 Right, which defeats apologizing, though. You can't come back with more attitude.

Speaker 8 He has to act the way anyone would act when

Speaker 8 apologizing to the wife.

Speaker 84 Yes.

Speaker 8 Take sincerity.

Speaker 84 You're like, I'm going to say.

Speaker 118 Don't double down.

Speaker 50 Yes, exactly.

Speaker 5 Listen, unless my wife's colorblind, I am not apologizing to anyone.

Speaker 62 All right.

Speaker 72 Mike, I would argue you should have said that, in a sense, you're colorblind because you chose an Asian lover.

Speaker 45 I have to take that from him.

Speaker 39 Oh, come on.

Speaker 96 Well, the expression.

Speaker 96 Yeah,

Speaker 134 you weren't a cop, I swear to God.

Speaker 14 That's too much. You can't choose who you love.

Speaker 30 So, two-point

Speaker 124 five.

Speaker 21 You tell them,

Speaker 12 well, pretty well.

Speaker 33 And he apologized for

Speaker 6 Mike's flip.

Speaker 100 It's not higher than that.

Speaker 30 All right, all right, all right.

Speaker 13 I mean, I swear to God, I mean, the guy put his

Speaker 13 manhood on the table.

Speaker 18 Really?

Speaker 18 Like every other danger.

Speaker 5 I didn't see

Speaker 5 anything.

Speaker 13 All right, 2.5. Do you want to change the score for?

Speaker 118 I was going to wait until everybody.

Speaker 13 Are you going to remember that? I mean, you're

Speaker 13 going to have to go to the house.

Speaker 13 A shaky start as it is.

Speaker 104 Are they going to remember 2.5?

Speaker 70 I'll write it down.

Speaker 18 Who knows this?

Speaker 7 All right, Chris.

Speaker 81 So, I mean, Mike is

Speaker 6 right out the gate, Mike is insulting the colorblind community.

Speaker 6 So, that really just took a hit. He had the opportunity to save himself, but he didn't.

Speaker 25 It just got worse and worse.

Speaker 104 Zero for Mike.

Speaker 136 And then Ming saved it. I actually, if

Speaker 3 I believe Mink, he really sounded apologetic.

Speaker 83 So, out of a perfect score of five,

Speaker 6 zero for Mike, 2.5.

Speaker 88 Whoa. Okay.

Speaker 70 So, so far, a total of five points.

Speaker 62 Okay, I'm sorry.

Speaker 64 2.5 is five, by the way.

Speaker 8 But if you look at Ming's face, like, if you look at his expression, he's not sincere.

Speaker 13 Frank five.

Speaker 33 Okay, so

Speaker 92 I gave them a

Speaker 50 2.0, the worst score so far.

Speaker 24 Two.

Speaker 25 That was like Jamie Farr a little bit.

Speaker 98 Like, I feel like I'd be on the gun show, right? Yeah.

Speaker 39 I'm not in dress.

Speaker 11 I felt, not yet.

Speaker 133 I felt that

Speaker 92 they both really weren't too sincere.

Speaker 116 Not even Ming?

Speaker 92 No, I didn't buy it with Ming.

Speaker 25 It just seemed like it was a bad thing.

Speaker 21 No, Ming was pretty groveling.

Speaker 31 And to be honest with you, you have to really get behind your apology about the colours.

Speaker 99 And the colorblind I do that flying fuck about.

Speaker 133 That's why I call Ming my apology.

Speaker 13 I had a lot of people apologize.

Speaker 100 Why do I come on?

Speaker 13 Tell him Speak Dave again.

Speaker 35 I keep forgetting that's what I'm saying.

Speaker 53 Frank five has

Speaker 9 set it up like that, though.

Speaker 37 That was your fault though.

Speaker 4 Frank Five,

Speaker 14 I agree with you. You said get behind.

Speaker 118 You put the ball on the tee, someone's gonna sniff it out.

Speaker 14 Somebody's gonna hit it.

Speaker 136 Frank Five can sniff it out.

Speaker 25 He's a school teacher.

Speaker 13 So you've had a lot of people apologize to you.

Speaker 21 In what scenario?

Speaker 84 Oh, definitely grovel.

Speaker 121 Oh, groveling.

Speaker 76 It's constant.

Speaker 133 Something's turned out.

Speaker 13 Somebody's been more groveling

Speaker 33 than Ming was, yeah. All right.

Speaker 113 Wow.

Speaker 113 Okay.

Speaker 76 I don't agree with that, Ming.

Speaker 110 So far, if you've got a judge, I saw Professor Five dog ate my homework.

Speaker 3 Fortunately, you're not a judge, so it doesn't.

Speaker 28 The tears in your eyes, I thought it was going to be the

Speaker 33 sympathy getter.

Speaker 13 I did my best. This is five, though, as

Speaker 13 the only female on the panel.

Speaker 48 What does that mean?

Speaker 18 Well, I think that she may be more.

Speaker 4 Wow.

Speaker 40 Wow.

Speaker 127 Let her speak. Hold on.
I want to hear this.

Speaker 137 I've been with Frank for over 18 years, so there's been a lot of apologizing from him for different things.

Speaker 91 So he's been more groveling than that.

Speaker 137 Well, maybe not groveling, but more sincere.

Speaker 76 We're threatening. I'm just better.

Speaker 22 I give him a one.

Speaker 55 I give Ming a one for graveling, and that's it.

Speaker 40 Wow.

Speaker 97 So he's insincere.

Speaker 8 You know he's married.

Speaker 13 So now the teams know that the judges are harsh.

Speaker 123 They're not giving away three points.

Speaker 13 You're going to have to earn everything you get tonight.

Speaker 8 And I respect Mrs. Five because she's like, look, for too long, men have sat in judgment.

Speaker 103 That's right.

Speaker 4 I like it. Wow.
All right.

Speaker 50 All right. So 2015.

Speaker 17 That's a minority. She's judging like that.

Speaker 34 What chance do we have?

Speaker 13 I am going to change the game on the fly because I'm not going to give you guys a multiple choice.

Speaker 109 You guys are going to have to apologize.

Speaker 13 You're going to have to apologize scenarios because I want at least every team to give an apology.

Speaker 106 All right?

Speaker 79 Sound good?

Speaker 4 Yep.

Speaker 3 Is there a negative

Speaker 3 negative points?

Speaker 13 Jeff and Troy,

Speaker 13 here's your apology scenario. It is the end of the Baseball World Series, and the New York Yankees have defeated the Los Angeles Dodgers.
You tweet Yankees rule, much like your baseball cap right now.

Speaker 13 You would probably tweet that, right?

Speaker 63 Troy.

Speaker 121 I don't care.

Speaker 28 Maybe a little bit more.

Speaker 51 Okay.

Speaker 13 West of the Mississippi, people are furious and demand an apology for shaming the West Coast fans during their most trying time.

Speaker 13 Some West Coast fans have threatened a boycott of the Sunday Jeff Show if you don't grovel and just deliver an apology worth apology. You know, off-the-charts apology right now.

Speaker 72 So I tweet Yankees rule, but they're both taken out on Jeff.

Speaker 13 Well, both you guys in this scenario.

Speaker 104 Yeah, Jeff rotates it.

Speaker 4 What's a tweet?

Speaker 13 So a minute 30 on the clock.

Speaker 39 You can leave. Okay.

Speaker 41 Go.

Speaker 1 Ladies and gentlemen, the press.

Speaker 18 We're at a press conference.

Speaker 53 Let me go.

Speaker 129 Buck press.

Speaker 1 It's come to my attention of untasteful and very wrong tweets that were sent after our luxurious victory.

Speaker 47 I was hacked.

Speaker 113 Still am

Speaker 1 we are the Yankee organization is very

Speaker 128 honest.

Speaker 1 This is my time to shine.

Speaker 3 We're very sorry about

Speaker 1 what has transpired through the internet, the internet world.

Speaker 120 45 seconds.

Speaker 1 Yankee fans.

Speaker 72 You know, where you'll have to go in a certain order, right?

Speaker 131 He needs silence.

Speaker 1 My sincerity is trying to come out, but I just don't have the words.

Speaker 125 How much time?

Speaker 85 Got 30 seconds.

Speaker 46 Oh, yeah, but Troy get there.

Speaker 2 I'm sorry.

Speaker 72 I was raised to be told that to be a good winner is as important to be as

Speaker 72 not to be a sore loser. So it was wrong to be boastful about the Yankees' win.

Speaker 72 I shouldn't have even boasted since I had nothing to do with the team's victory. I was merely watching.

Speaker 99 I don't know what Yankees played, Jeff.

Speaker 72 honestly didn't think that I would incur this type of wrath, that I may lose someday Jeff Show's listeners just because I simply showed excitement over a sporting event.

Speaker 72 However, I do apologize for anybody you may have offended.

Speaker 1 At this time, I wish to resign.

Speaker 13 And again, though, like some defiance.

Speaker 13 Some defiance at the end from Troy.

Speaker 72 How's it defiance?

Speaker 14 Some might say victim blaming.

Speaker 62 Yeah,

Speaker 13 you definitely were like, you didn't feel you should have to do this, but you're forced into it.

Speaker 72 It's like when somebody's like, I'm sorry you feel that way.

Speaker 37 I'm not sorry.

Speaker 72 You're fucked up for thinking that way, and I'm sorry that you're so fucked up. That's the way you believe.
That's not what I was going for, but I think that that's what you think.

Speaker 13 As a general, do you deliver a lot of apologies?

Speaker 66 No.

Speaker 12 You're the general of the police, right?

Speaker 89 I'm not injured.

Speaker 39 Like at home, do you apologize on a regular basis like I do?

Speaker 72 I mean, honestly, if I tell the kids I'm going to be somewhere, but I I wasn't able to make it because of work, I'll apologize. I got caught up at work.
But generally,

Speaker 13 so you're not used to it, I'm not used to apologizing.

Speaker 72 I'm out of my comfort zone.

Speaker 22 Out of your element. Yeah.

Speaker 76 Okay.

Speaker 76 I don't give a fuck.

Speaker 18 Just give it a long mess.

Speaker 30 I'm doing bad.

Speaker 13 All right, Father Lance.

Speaker 84 Okay.

Speaker 12 I'm going to give you a three

Speaker 83 based on Troy's well-reasoned argument.

Speaker 32 It would have have been higher, but for Sunday Jeff's incoherent rambling.

Speaker 5 He made me look good.

Speaker 32 I don't think he met any points on there.

Speaker 12 Whereas Officer Troy brought in sportsmanship, sounded sincere.

Speaker 14 Denial.

Speaker 139 Pincha, pinch of groveling. So we're going to be through.

Speaker 57 And Sunday Jeff brought in the delusion of being a part of that Nikki's organization.

Speaker 129 That's my chance to shine.

Speaker 13 What were you thinking when you went to the press conference?

Speaker 47 The press conference.

Speaker 70 I want to do the press conference.

Speaker 72 And then just spewed out a word salad.

Speaker 75 Southwest.

Speaker 13 You vomited a word salad.

Speaker 14 And that is exactly why you can't kill the Sunday Jet show, no matter what you do or say wrong. People are going to tune in.

Speaker 13 That's right. All right.

Speaker 69 Chris.

Speaker 6 I think

Speaker 6 Troy was like the savior of like what Ming was to the Mike and Ming.

Speaker 35 Apology. Apology.

Speaker 84 I wasn't angry. Yep.

Speaker 71 You were a little bit over.

Speaker 19 I should have been.

Speaker 140 So, yeah, so I gave them

Speaker 33 their scores at a 3.25.

Speaker 30 Oh, fuck. What?

Speaker 40 He just wanted to snap.

Speaker 20 I was like, I can't do math.

Speaker 4 So 3.25.

Speaker 26 For a 148, that should be a snap.

Speaker 118 I went to New Jersey Public Schools.

Speaker 39 I'm good.

Speaker 13 All right, 3.25.

Speaker 92 All right. So I give them a 2.5.

Speaker 33 Wow.

Speaker 31 Because he's just reusing the card that he used.

Speaker 79 Oh, these are always a 0.5 on there.

Speaker 92 with Jeff, I was lost.

Speaker 141 I didn't realize it was an apology until the very end.

Speaker 74 You don't understand me, man.

Speaker 39 I just didn't understand. You got it.

Speaker 62 And with Troy, Troy seemed very matter-of-fact.

Speaker 3 He seemed somewhat sincere and apologetic.

Speaker 13 The only reason I didn't give Troy a higher score is because he didn't look at me and he didn't look at us when he was giving the apology.

Speaker 72 Because I was ashamed.

Speaker 99 You were ashamed to have been radical.

Speaker 85 I was.

Speaker 9 I kept my eyes panting downwards.

Speaker 13 I was shamed. Nobody even looked at Ming's body language.
I mean, he was spying.

Speaker 4 Oh, somebody did.

Speaker 13 He basically was a jellyfish, and nobody.

Speaker 38 He tried to remain upright.

Speaker 4 I can't believe that.

Speaker 13 We're so harsh to ISO comics. All right, Mrs.
Five. I gave them

Speaker 2 three.

Speaker 4 Whoa! Wow.

Speaker 28 Wow.

Speaker 28 And you said they're not giving away points over here.

Speaker 103 No, no, no, no, Mrs.

Speaker 79 Five. I'm very.

Speaker 14 This is almost like a course direction of the future.

Speaker 13 Why did you give them a three? On what planet did that deserve a three?

Speaker 8 Because Troy's cute. Those two fags aren't.

Speaker 34 You know, I'm very cute.

Speaker 13 Really? On what planet does that get a three over what they did?

Speaker 137 I think Troy was very sincere.

Speaker 137 He explained the reasoning why, and he had a lot of things.

Speaker 63 He was hostile, though, at the end.

Speaker 142 But she's used to that.

Speaker 54 Do you think

Speaker 54 at the end?

Speaker 58 He turned it around and made it about them rather than about him apologizing, though.

Speaker 72 If I had it to do over again, I probably, when I was apologizing for showing team pride, wouldn't have worn the hat of the team.

Speaker 41 And I'm apologizing.

Speaker 104 At the press conference, yeah.

Speaker 110 Your PR people should have told you to take the hat off.

Speaker 71 I like that now.

Speaker 72 It's definitely a press conference, too.

Speaker 118 You would have been wrenching it in your hand.

Speaker 4 Just like I'll handle it.

Speaker 4 Flip your hat around.

Speaker 4 All right.

Speaker 118 All right. So to catch people up on the scores,

Speaker 118 we have Team ISO Comics at the rear with 28. Team TSD in the middle with 40.
And Team Jeff and Troy with 51.75 points.

Speaker 88 Thank you, Chris Lodonda.75.

Speaker 13 All right, Team Tellum, Steve Dave.

Speaker 86 Yeah.

Speaker 13 You were caught on the beach. Someone snapped a photo of you.

Speaker 13 They saw your Kingdom Come Superman tattoo. Yeah.
And they posted a picture of it.

Speaker 13 And backlash is forming because some feel Superman is a symbol of white privilege. You know the story.

Speaker 13 The most privileged family on the most privileged planet decides to send their child of privilege off planet because things got a little rough.

Speaker 13 You need to apologize faster than a speeding bullet before they bring out the kryptonite protest signs and it affects your TV show.

Speaker 72 Oh, no.

Speaker 5 I threw that in there.

Speaker 139 I knew that little caveat at the end makes a difference.

Speaker 96 Hold on.

Speaker 40 Somebody hold this spine for me.

Speaker 46 Somebody hold his spine.

Speaker 14 Thank you. Just keep it safe.

Speaker 4 I'm going to need it.

Speaker 8 You know how hard it was to split my attention between this and making a kingdom come joke at their expense?

Speaker 13 All right, guys.

Speaker 52 Go.

Speaker 130 Wow.

Speaker 14 Oh, man. The thing about life is

Speaker 14 you got to learn. You got to grow.
You got to change.

Speaker 8 I was with you when you got that tattoo. A much younger man.

Speaker 24 Not such a wise man as you are now.

Speaker 8 Who? Who out there can say that you haven't made decisions as a younger person that you regret later on because you didn't understand the implications of what that meant at the time?

Speaker 14 And I do at times, when I'm putting on a shirt or getting out of the shower in the morning, understand what I have on my skin.

Speaker 14 But I think to cover it up and pretend it never happened would be even more disrespectful. Like let people see the man I was.

Speaker 14 Because if we can't grow and change and get better, then what's the point of anything?

Speaker 97 I would rather wear my shame and show people that you could learn.

Speaker 40 Sorry.

Speaker 70 The backbone.

Speaker 20 Sorry, brother. Sorry.

Speaker 8 The backbone of religion is penance.

Speaker 43 Yes.

Speaker 130 And that's what he's doing right now. He's paying penance.

Speaker 8 He wanted, he told me earlier today, he was like, I deserve it.

Speaker 36 He said, I deserve it.

Speaker 8 I should have gotten it removed. I should have used some of my TV money to get it removed.
And that's what I'm going to do now.

Speaker 113 Now? Because, yeah.

Speaker 130 He was like, Thank you to all those people who brought it to my attention that it was really that important.

Speaker 66 I knew it was, you know.

Speaker 14 I'm sorry you guys had to teach me that lesson and that I wasn't wise enough to know it on my own. But from the bottom of my heart, I appreciate you.

Speaker 28 The only thing you shouldn't say is that you're not.

Speaker 94 Can I have that spine back?

Speaker 62 Can I have that spine back back then?

Speaker 13 I don't know if I'll ever look at you the same way again.

Speaker 14 I just got to wipe the shit off my lips. Hold on one second.

Speaker 31 I don't think either one of you apologized.

Speaker 40 Oh, no.

Speaker 125 No. What are you talking about?

Speaker 14 I said, I'm sorry you had to teach me this lesson.

Speaker 13 I will say, though, that you guys have entered your scores, so I don't want to sway the judges, but you guys were looking at each other's eyes. You never once looked at the judges, though.

Speaker 14 Because we're responsible for the mess.

Speaker 13 Are you at a press conference or were you just in your bench at home talking to Brian? You couldn't figure it out.

Speaker 67 We were doing a big home.

Speaker 35 We were doing it on YouTube.

Speaker 11 Oh, okay.

Speaker 13 Father Lance, what do you give them?

Speaker 33 The folly of youth.

Speaker 63 That was good.

Speaker 48 Penance.

Speaker 8 You shed a tear.

Speaker 28 That's how you give an apology.

Speaker 47 Boom!

Speaker 56 Boom!

Speaker 30 Nice.

Speaker 9 Oh, wow.

Speaker 3 Is it a five or 0.5?

Speaker 105 I can't tell.

Speaker 13 Mike, it's hard to shake your head because, I mean, you cussed and you got so angry immediately. You can't really be upset.
And you're apologizing. You had your chance.

Speaker 61 Oh, I didn't curse Prime Minister.

Speaker 51 I apologize. Didn't you? Didn't he?

Speaker 34 I don't think I cursed 0.2.

Speaker 76 Yeah, he started yelling.

Speaker 44 Yeah, dude.

Speaker 40 You refuse to apologize.

Speaker 89 We're going to replay it.

Speaker 53 So you hear blind fury, dude.

Speaker 38 Yeah, replay his apology.

Speaker 66 You're fucking colorblind.

Speaker 2 Who gives you shit?

Speaker 43 Let's in a minute.

Speaker 132 You're fucking colorblind.

Speaker 43 Who gives you shit?

Speaker 2 Let's get a minute.

Speaker 43 You fucking clean.

Speaker 132 Who gives you shit?

Speaker 13 I mean, really, it's hard for now to shake your head and feel like you've been robbed when you have a lot of people.

Speaker 51 Oh, no, no, I'm not. I could.

Speaker 39 Oh,

Speaker 31 this is a tell them Steve Dave episode.

Speaker 104 You feel like it's there in the tank.

Speaker 13 The judges may be in the tank for TSD.

Speaker 31 I wasn't going there, but since you brought it up.

Speaker 111 There's a lot of game left.

Speaker 45 You surely shouldn't get on the judges' beds.

Speaker 13 Man, you got to rein in your

Speaker 13 house.

Speaker 102 There's no reigning him.

Speaker 94 And what are you talking about?

Speaker 25 He's a wild stallion.

Speaker 88 stallion, I'll tell you.

Speaker 118 He can't be tied down.

Speaker 33 You two are gazing in each other's eyes, and you're tossing gay epithets at me.

Speaker 62 No, it's it was.

Speaker 14 I get staring through a camera lens and see nothing but like glass, but I got to look in another human's eyes when I apologize.

Speaker 143 Wow, hold on, you said a human's eyes.

Speaker 5 You were looking in that.

Speaker 6 Chris, it was good, but wasn't perfect, but pretty damn close.

Speaker 17 A 4.17.

Speaker 7 Oh, yeah.

Speaker 4 Wow.

Speaker 118 Seriously, I've been a cashier for like 20 years of my life.

Speaker 51 It's not that hard.

Speaker 30 Most of it was hard to get.

Speaker 13 Ranked five. All right.

Speaker 141 I thought it was very good.

Speaker 92 I gave them a four.

Speaker 9 Wow.

Speaker 92 And I noticed Bride did make eye contact with the judges, or at least he looked in my eyes, I saw at one point.

Speaker 11 She done quinn, huh?

Speaker 131 All right, 4.4.

Speaker 92 And yeah, so he made eye contacts, said that Q actually said that he deserved the punishment that he was getting. So they opened up to it, admitted to being wrong.
I love the tears.

Speaker 30 Thank you.

Speaker 33 Here's something I do with Mary.

Speaker 92 Oh, what you want to do is lick your palms, but then when you put them up by your eyes, it looks like you got tears.

Speaker 126 Okay.

Speaker 133 Just, you know, for next high budget.

Speaker 44 Pro tip, everyone. Pro tip.

Speaker 5 4.0. 4.0.
Oh, nice.

Speaker 35 Very quickly, Mrs.

Speaker 8 Five, you can't respect a guy who's crying as he apologizes to you, right? Right.

Speaker 89 I don't have to take that.

Speaker 13 Mrs. Five, what's your final tally here?

Speaker 4 Another four.

Speaker 83 Why?

Speaker 20 They were very sincere and honest.

Speaker 39 Why? Because that's what I told her.

Speaker 13 But why, what made them get a four, though?

Speaker 13 And I don't understand.

Speaker 70 This man, Ming Chen,

Speaker 60 he didn't.

Speaker 124 Spare his soul. What?

Speaker 30 He wasn't laughing the whole time.

Speaker 42 He didn't laugh at him.

Speaker 47 He wasn't laughing.

Speaker 13 His lip was quivering. He was so crying.

Speaker 77 It was fake.

Speaker 7 It was weak.

Speaker 53 Mine was real.

Speaker 45 Those are all fake.

Speaker 88 Yeah, this didn't really happen.

Speaker 13 All right. So we're on to the next round.
That's all apologies. Oh, infinite.

Speaker 31 We got kind of shtooked out of

Speaker 67 another.

Speaker 39 Yeah, they're down a turn. Yeah, we're

Speaker 44 no, no, no. They started.

Speaker 13 You might get the next round of something else, okay?

Speaker 3 Yeah, Mike, don't argue it.

Speaker 55 See what he did right there?

Speaker 33 Give him a point, seven.

Speaker 43 You guys discussed the problem

Speaker 13 to not to just thank you.

Speaker 70 Thank you.

Speaker 70 One point for that.

Speaker 3 I saved you another 20 minutes, too. So,

Speaker 96 of course.

Speaker 50 All right, we can hear the jungle's in the room.

Speaker 29 Get them.

Speaker 70 Uh-oh.

Speaker 13 We're about to go on Safari for some. Where's your hat?

Speaker 126 It's in the car. Where's it?

Speaker 5 There we go.

Speaker 13 About to go on Safari for some elephants, boys.

Speaker 51 Wow.

Speaker 13 I saw comics. You guys are going to be up first.
So we're playing a mini round of elephants in the room. Okay.

Speaker 13 I give each team a hard-to-discuss topic, and that team has the option to do a two-minute mini podcast on the topic, which judges will award a score of one to five again.

Speaker 13 And get them, please read the criteria the teams will be judged upon.

Speaker 118 All right, well, the teams will be judged on A, how enlightening the pod is, B, how sincere the pod is, C, did both team members participate equally in the pod? And D, how entertaining the pod is.

Speaker 13 If the topic is too dangerous, a team has one pass and may pass upon doing the pod to take an elephant physical challenge.

Speaker 13 That is, if completed within the predetermined time, that team will get 12 points.

Speaker 3 We need these points.

Speaker 13 A few years ago, a Marvel executive shocked the comic world with this response to a question of sagging sales. What we heard was that people didn't want any more diversity.

Speaker 13 They didn't want female characters out there. That's what we heard.
Whether we believe that or not, I don't know that's really true, but that's what we saw in sales.

Speaker 13 We saw the sales of any character that was diverse, any character that was new, or female characters, anything that was not a core Marvel character, people were turning their noses up to it.

Speaker 13 Do a podcast on this Marvel executives quote.

Speaker 63 Or

Speaker 13 use your pass and take an elephant physical challenge.

Speaker 141 Mike, stood up.

Speaker 8 Why is there any hesitation? You're fucking I sell comics.

Speaker 17 I know. And you're like, I don't know.

Speaker 13 This is a very, very touchy topic, though.

Speaker 13 I wouldn't want to touch this one with a 10-foot pole.

Speaker 63 Right.

Speaker 3 Mike, do you want to touch it with a 10-foot pole? Let's go.

Speaker 34 Okay, Mike.

Speaker 20 Touch it with a 10-foot pole.

Speaker 5 I'm going to let it go.

Speaker 78 I'm going to let it go.

Speaker 70 Wow.

Speaker 47 I'm a big man. I'm going to let it go.

Speaker 99 Michael.

Speaker 27 Gotcha.

Speaker 52 All right. Hello, everybody.

Speaker 3 Welcome to ISO Comics. Diversity in Comics.

Speaker 10 Diversity in Comics. Yes.

Speaker 31 All right. We've got the.

Speaker 31 first female-led Marvel movie coming out in March. It's Captain Marvel.
Yes. She's been around for almost 50 years.

Speaker 25 Absolutely.

Speaker 31 She was not a star in her own right in the beginning, but...

Speaker 3 Okay, but do people want this? The argument is that people only want the core Marvel characters.

Speaker 5 Not true.

Speaker 3 No diversity, no female characters, sagging sales. You're a retailer.

Speaker 3 Do you see this to be true?

Speaker 31 We see all this stuff to be true. There are sagging sales, but there are sagging sales across the boards.
So, uh, diversity,

Speaker 31 they're not truly giving us really diverse characters.

Speaker 31 They're actually taking the names, just shoving it into a sausage casing, a sausage casing of a male superhero, giving it the powers and the name. And it's stupid.

Speaker 31 So, they should actually just do stories based on stories. And, you know, if Brian Johnson were here, I'd tell him to go fuck himself.

Speaker 20 So, good.

Speaker 3 So, it doesn't matter if they're black, red, white, purple, female, male, gay,

Speaker 31 transgender. It doesn't matter.

Speaker 31 The story is good.

Speaker 10 The story's going to be good.

Speaker 85 Turnpike restaurant.

Speaker 4 There you go.

Speaker 3 So that's your argument then? That the numbers stories? The numbers don't lie, though.

Speaker 31 Numbers don't lie, but I think it also has to do with

Speaker 31 the fact that the stories aren't good.

Speaker 31 They're not making them compelling. Back in the day, Stan knew what he was doing.
And,

Speaker 31 you know what? He didn't write Shakespeare, but

Speaker 31 he knew what he was doing, but the stories mattered. And I think it doesn't matter.
You can plug in any character of any race, creed, or color and make the story matter.

Speaker 3 All right. So it has nothing to do with.

Speaker 13 All he does is repeat what Mike says.

Speaker 52 Exactly.

Speaker 41 But here's the thing in hell.

Speaker 52 My favorite comic book.

Speaker 58 Saved by the Bell, literally.

Speaker 4 Still going.

Speaker 8 Well, I know we've already pre-filled out fives for entertaining.

Speaker 13 It's a tough topic.

Speaker 98 I mean, wow, I can't.

Speaker 13 You guys didn't consider using the pass on that one, huh?

Speaker 3 Not for a second, I guess.

Speaker 39 All right.

Speaker 39 Father Lance.

Speaker 28 All right.

Speaker 32 I think Mike was enlightening and sincere.

Speaker 141 On that. I think they split up equal time, even though it was a little bit repetitive.

Speaker 13 Just parroting what Mike says. This is what it is.

Speaker 83 I'm entertaining.

Speaker 32 Mike threw a stuffing in the sausage casing out there for

Speaker 32 you.

Speaker 13 Being able to get that in there was magic.

Speaker 33 He didn't even jump in on it, but it was there for the taking, so I gave him a 4-5.

Speaker 71 Oh, wow.

Speaker 138 All right.

Speaker 105 Out of a five? God bless you, five.

Speaker 14 Nice. Well done.

Speaker 79 I don't know.

Speaker 40 4.5.

Speaker 13 Okay, it's great. It's a great score.
I'm shocked at that score, though.

Speaker 54 Strong score.

Speaker 13 It's a great though. It's a great score for you guys.
You needed that. Yes, we did.

Speaker 31 Seeing as how you skipped us on one of the questions.

Speaker 13 You're going to get an extra round.

Speaker 104 I hope the bug twice.

Speaker 118 Up next is Count Matthew, huh?

Speaker 6 All right, then. I was just confused.

Speaker 6 Weren't they supposed to, you guys supposed to be doing it together, like agreeing, both agreeing?

Speaker 13 Right, Malt? Well, I mean, just doing something together. It seemed like it was all Mike.

Speaker 6 Yeah, Mike really carried it.

Speaker 73 Make no sense.

Speaker 140 I love you.

Speaker 6 But there wasn't a lot of participation with Ming, so the score I'm going to give you guys is a 3.23.

Speaker 113 Okay.

Speaker 3 Okay. It's better than more than half.

Speaker 13 All right. Still, it's a generous score.
It is.

Speaker 65 It's not a bad score. It is.

Speaker 62 I'll take it. It's good.

Speaker 17 Thank you for watching.

Speaker 49 I know they know what they're talking about.

Speaker 6 Just Ming could have brought it up a little bit.

Speaker 8 I know they know comics.

Speaker 39 Okay.

Speaker 13 Frank.

Speaker 92 I thought it was very interesting.

Speaker 84 I thought that

Speaker 92 they both seemed sincere, enlightening.

Speaker 28 I thought it was somewhat interesting.

Speaker 125 Well, carrying that over from our

Speaker 125 house.

Speaker 45 We're finally sincere. Yeah.

Speaker 39 You know, I

Speaker 120 was groveling. That was good.

Speaker 5 I didn't grovel.

Speaker 33 But, you know, they knew what they were talking about.

Speaker 12 And, I mean, that's why I gave him four.

Speaker 25 Wow.

Speaker 4 All right.

Speaker 88 All right.

Speaker 111 Thank you, Frank.

Speaker 13 So what was their focus based upon that quote from the executive that they what?

Speaker 92 Well, I think the takeaway that I have from it is that it really doesn't matter

Speaker 92 what, you know, gender or race or whatever somebody is, if it's a good story, it's going to be a good story.

Speaker 13 So the sales were, the bad sales were due to what?

Speaker 141 I didn't.

Speaker 32 Trying to shoehorn females into traditional male characters.

Speaker 8 It's a girl's fault.

Speaker 28 As opposed to coming up with the original diverse characters, which I think was Mike's.

Speaker 8 Was that your takeaway, Brian, that girls ruined it?

Speaker 118 Mike said they were down across the boards.

Speaker 120 All right.

Speaker 3 All right, five gives us a four. I like it.
Thank you.

Speaker 13 And what about Mrs. Five?

Speaker 29 Here she comes.

Speaker 4 Oh,

Speaker 105 coming back.

Speaker 3 We're coming back, Mike.

Speaker 9 Those are comeback numbers.

Speaker 14 It is. It is.
Those definitely come back.

Speaker 17 Those are great numbers.

Speaker 126 Jeez.

Speaker 13 I mean, you guys should be well ahead of this.

Speaker 63 I mean,

Speaker 12 it's usually a wedge on my between come and back.

Speaker 13 All right, Jeff and Troy, your elephant in the room topic is soccer superstar David Beckham, future NBA Hall of Famer Dwayne Wade, and legendary quarterback Tom Brady were all seen this past year kissing their children on the lips.

Speaker 13 And the internet was enraged. Do a podcast.
on these loving fathers or take the elephant physical challenge.

Speaker 72 Your call.

Speaker 13 You get more points doing a pod.

Speaker 8 Well, it seems you have to be.

Speaker 72 I mean, I'm afraid that if I do a thing about guys kissing kids on the lips, it's going to turn sexy.

Speaker 95 You guys got to take this one.

Speaker 122 All right, we'll take it.

Speaker 129 Is it more points?

Speaker 13 You say to anyone who's going to be a little bit more points to do a podcast. You're going to get more points, I think.

Speaker 13 Okay. All right.
So put two minutes on the clock. It's on.
Remember the criteria? Both of you are engaged. You address

Speaker 38 David Beckham, Dwayne Wade, and Tom Brady.

Speaker 13 Yeah, they're all big-time athletes, superstars in their field, and they all got caught kissing. Well, not caught.
Right.

Speaker 5 They weren't in the closet.

Speaker 14 They had to poison the well down in the basement.

Speaker 13 They posted videos of themselves.

Speaker 17 It was basically a kiss, Cam.

Speaker 30 Affectionate to the children.

Speaker 19 Right.

Speaker 13 And the internet was enraged. Do a podcast on it, Jeff.

Speaker 27 Go.

Speaker 1 The internet enraged about showing affection towards your own children.

Speaker 72 What does the world come to?

Speaker 35 Exactly.

Speaker 142 I mean, just a father, you're a father.

Speaker 1 I mean, have you ever kissed your own children? You know, just little pack, you know, I love you.

Speaker 14 Give them a little bubbly every night when they go to bed.

Speaker 130 Why is it?

Speaker 32 Why is it that it's such a big deal?

Speaker 1 I would think people can't show affection towards their own children.

Speaker 72 I would think that that's something that should be embraced and celebrated. I would say that we are the first generation of I love you, dads.

Speaker 72 I would say that our fathers probably, you know, would say, I love you once in a while, you know, give you a pat on the head, say goodnight.

Speaker 72 But this is the first generation where you see fathers actively being affectionate with their kids.

Speaker 1 Can't do anything anymore. You can't, you're in the camera's eye.
You're always out there. You can't do anything.
You can't kiss your own child and say that you love them.

Speaker 1 Some people never got kissed, obviously.

Speaker 1 You know, maybe they should have, and they might have been different later on in life.

Speaker 72 What kind of twisted mind would take something as innocent as a father showing affection to his child and turn it into something filthy.

Speaker 72 I mean, besides me making that joke before we start talking about this,

Speaker 18 who would do something like that?

Speaker 1 No tongue. It's just

Speaker 117 say you're looking at your kid's eyes, you're just embracing them.

Speaker 90 Right, you're embracing your children.

Speaker 72 You made it creepy by looking into their eyes before you do it.

Speaker 30 You can't give you a kid.

Speaker 59 I didn't say a twinkle in your eye.

Speaker 60 Just, you know,

Speaker 72 like block eyes with your kid and just slowly come in for a kiss.

Speaker 125 That's creepy.

Speaker 30 I didn't say to twinkle in your head.

Speaker 13 I just said, you know, I was like, no, I love this.

Speaker 40 Don't worry.

Speaker 42 Don't worry.

Speaker 72 I don't know why you have to take something as sweet as innocent. And now I understand why people are so outrageous.

Speaker 56 People got nothing to do.

Speaker 4 Nothing to do for children.

Speaker 125 You know something?

Speaker 1 Kids don't know they're loved.

Speaker 72 Until now, I never understood what my wife was talking about, but

Speaker 72 what she's complaining. But like, this two minutes does feel like forever.

Speaker 56 It does.

Speaker 56 It does.

Speaker 129 How much time is it?

Speaker 13 It's going to keep your kid this long.

Speaker 142 How much longer do you have to do that? Ten seconds.

Speaker 2 Ten seconds.

Speaker 2 Wow.

Speaker 62 That was great, guys.

Speaker 4 Tune in every week.

Speaker 25 Tune in every week to the Mandler report.

Speaker 50 Wow.

Speaker 13 Like, that was passion there.

Speaker 91 That was

Speaker 17 passion.

Speaker 77 That was really well done, though.

Speaker 8 Poor Troy trying to get away from that.

Speaker 59 I'd say, Daddy, Daddy told you to take off your pants.

Speaker 8 He's like, you know, we're the first generation.

Speaker 40 Why can't you stare into kids' eyes and hold their hands?

Speaker 14 Just like right towards that iceberg?

Speaker 5 All right, Fatherland. It looks all right for a little hands.

Speaker 141 They had a good banner back and forth.

Speaker 39 They were entertaining.

Speaker 126 Good for them.

Speaker 32 Felt they were sincere.

Speaker 32 Enlightening, I had to take some points away because you didn't address how disgusting Tom Brady's kiss with his son was.

Speaker 90 That's a Steelers fan right there.

Speaker 13 Let's not get into Big Ben's discretion.

Speaker 77 Four.

Speaker 13 Good score, though.

Speaker 35 Chris.

Speaker 6 The banter back and forth was excellent. That was very, I felt it very sincere.

Speaker 6 Then at the end, it kind of derailed a little, so I had to take off a point,

Speaker 32 minor

Speaker 3 traction.

Speaker 6 So I gave you guys a $4.90.

Speaker 5 Whoa!

Speaker 71 Near perfect podcast.

Speaker 34 Wow.

Speaker 39 Near perfect podcast. Wow.

Speaker 6 Please theorize on it, Mike and McClintock.

Speaker 37 Impartial judgment.

Speaker 5 Yeah, I know. Thanks a lot there.

Speaker 49 Impartiality.

Speaker 33 I liked it.

Speaker 92 I thought that it was nice that they both were engaging with each other. I like the fact that they didn't even mention the fact that it was the father kissing the kid on the lips until the very end.

Speaker 92 If they could have just kept it going without mentioning that, that way the score would have even been higher. And I thought it was really, really entertaining.

Speaker 33 So 4.5.

Speaker 72 And you see, that's where a piece of Sunday Jeff on a podcast.

Speaker 139 Yeah, I don't know it.

Speaker 8 You guys could have a a podcasting career if you limit your pods to 90 seconds.

Speaker 137 mrs five i thought they were very sincere they worked well together um equally this is their first pod together

Speaker 25 they did a good job

Speaker 56 like the podcast

Speaker 17 first time ever and how long have you guys been podding together

Speaker 17 two minutes

Speaker 10 Wow, what a home run you guys did.

Speaker 13 That was a touchy subject, too.

Speaker 14 That was, man, but they navigated it with grace and

Speaker 14 wisdom.

Speaker 139 All right. I love the score.

Speaker 3 70.24.

Speaker 13 BQ and Brian,

Speaker 13 your topic is,

Speaker 13 why is it in some states it's harder to get an abortion than to buy a gun?

Speaker 13 Do a podcast on the subject.

Speaker 8 In some states, it's harder to get an abortion than buy a gun.

Speaker 13 Why is it harder to get an abortion in some states than to buy a gun?

Speaker 13 Okay.

Speaker 13 Did you start it? Two minutes. Two minutes.

Speaker 18 It's fair enough for it.

Speaker 72 Bryce thinking if you get the gun, you don't need the abortion.

Speaker 104 Hello, and welcome to Abortion versus Guns Podcast.

Speaker 8 So, Keyo, on the table here is why in some states is it easier to get a gun than it is to get an abortion?

Speaker 14 Well, we know the answer, right?

Speaker 8 Everyone knows the answer. Not everyone wants to say it.

Speaker 14 Nobody wants to say it.

Speaker 75 We do hear on guns and abortions.

Speaker 65 We tell it like it is.

Speaker 34 and that is that uh you're talking about a lot of bible states like the midwest right these are strong christian value puritan patriarch they they love their religion yeah

Speaker 98 and uh what what's happening is is

Speaker 14 obviously abortion is not religious people are not crazy about abortion No, I think it's fair to say that religious people, Brian, are not crazy about abortions.

Speaker 8 I think it's also fair to say that they do like guns and independence.

Speaker 15 You know, Brian, I think it's fair to say frontier-style attitude.

Speaker 72 Right, right.

Speaker 14 They take their wisdom from the Lord,

Speaker 76 not the government.

Speaker 14 No, government's made of man.

Speaker 8 Right. So the government's telling them what to do.
They could have abortions. They could go to another state and get an abortion if they wanted to.

Speaker 14 Yeah, but they got to get their gun access, though.

Speaker 36 They got that in.

Speaker 8 So I think it boils down to

Speaker 8 a solid

Speaker 24 American Christian mentality. Right.

Speaker 72 That you respect life

Speaker 8 unless life shouldn't be respected.

Speaker 11 Right.

Speaker 8 Somebody's coming at you. You have the right to defend yourself.

Speaker 132 That little kid, he can't defend himself.

Speaker 8 Unless you put a gun up into the womb and let that kid

Speaker 21 have a fighting chance.

Speaker 14 Yeah, I was wondering when the turn was going to come.

Speaker 3 I was following your lead on this whole thing.

Speaker 14 Okay. Okay.
So now we're arming fetuses.

Speaker 36 I think so.

Speaker 15 Yeah. All right.

Speaker 36 We can arm teachers.

Speaker 8 Right. Why shouldn't we be arming fetuses next to give them a fighting chance?

Speaker 14 So those fetuses in abortion hard states are really safe. Because one, the law is against aborting them, and two, they're armed.

Speaker 2 Right. Anyone?

Speaker 13 Interesting. I'm very curious what the judges think of that.
That looked like a Bill Buckner to me.

Speaker 39 That ball went through the legs, I thought, but we'll see.

Speaker 51 We'll see.

Speaker 143 And are we arming teachers now?

Speaker 37 I didn't hear about that legislation of Lance.

Speaker 64 Father Lance.

Speaker 13 This one.

Speaker 40 i don't know it was more like

Speaker 14 it was performance art more than

Speaker 97 podcast two divisive subjects yeah um

Speaker 32 i felt uh

Speaker 28 they had equal banner going on back and forth

Speaker 28 um

Speaker 32 brian kept entertaining by arguing the fetuses um

Speaker 32 They lost some sincerity and enlightening points because they really didn't get into the meat of the issue as to

Speaker 32 why it is that the laws are so curved, you know,

Speaker 62 patriarchy.

Speaker 84 So I give them a three-five.

Speaker 5 All right, all right.

Speaker 14 It's more than we deserve, I thought. Very good.

Speaker 3 Insulted the clergy, Chris.

Speaker 6 I was waiting for this podcast to be aborted.

Speaker 130 I didn't think it was.

Speaker 19 Wow.

Speaker 5 Boom, it's so close.

Speaker 6 I was a little disappointed, guys.

Speaker 6 I gave it, I don't know, it just really didn't seem like it went anywhere. anywhere.
So I gave you a 2.215.

Speaker 88 Okay, all right.

Speaker 4 Okay.

Speaker 88 Fair enough.

Speaker 8 Which I'll add up to a nice 2.22.

Speaker 28 Yeah, but we don't want to tell him that. We want him to do that.

Speaker 13 All right, Frank?

Speaker 92 I thought it was an interesting, I thought they had an interesting take on it.

Speaker 73 Yeah, we did.

Speaker 5 The idea of

Speaker 40 that.

Speaker 13 He's too nice a guy.

Speaker 13 He's got to be a little bit more Simon Cowell.

Speaker 141 The irony of the fetus, you know, I like that idea.

Speaker 92 I like the way they talked about religion. I thought it was very, I thought it was entertaining, and that's the main objective usually of a podcast.

Speaker 5 So, 3.8. All right.

Speaker 13 This is five.

Speaker 137 I thought it started out pretty good, and then it got a little bit disturbing.

Speaker 20 Uh-oh.

Speaker 105 Points off for

Speaker 14 they call that the prestige.

Speaker 7 But it was a good try.

Speaker 60 2.5.

Speaker 64 2.5.

Speaker 5 Oh, wow.

Speaker 29 That's crazy.

Speaker 58 I don't know.

Speaker 13 I mean, I mean, that was really

Speaker 71 good.

Speaker 14 I couldn't tell what bit we were doing. I knew we were doing a bit, but I didn't know if we were going for just boring podcasts, which is what it seemed at first.

Speaker 14 But then I was like, well, he's going to at one point turn it. I don't know.
And then the turn came, and I felt like, you know what, we still got it.

Speaker 63 Okay.

Speaker 13 So, Mike and Ming, here's where you're going to get to do your extra

Speaker 95 round of podcast

Speaker 14 bonus pods.

Speaker 86 Okay.

Speaker 101 Okay.

Speaker 101 Still, anyone's game.

Speaker 13 What's the score?

Speaker 13 Get them.

Speaker 57 I summarize

Speaker 125 close.

Speaker 118 Coming from at the back, we have Team ISO Comics with 44.73 points.

Speaker 118 Coming up in second is Team TSD with 69.185 points.

Speaker 5 Close.

Speaker 118 And in the lead, and half the team's asleep, is Team Jeff and Troy with 70.24 points.

Speaker 39 Wow.

Speaker 28 They really scored big with that podcast.

Speaker 39 Yeah, it was awesome.

Speaker 74 They deserved it.

Speaker 13 That was a great podcast. We should just isolate that

Speaker 13 and release it as episode four.

Speaker 17 Can we please do that for a day?

Speaker 88 Let's just do that for like a whole day.

Speaker 74 $100 tier only.

Speaker 28 All right.

Speaker 37 Mike, amazing.

Speaker 100 The podcast will be $39.

Speaker 5 That would be amazing.

Speaker 51 People will be like, what?

Speaker 14 Just like the music in the meeting with the clips, like, is already half the podcast.

Speaker 5 That would be great.

Speaker 35 It would just be the song. Oh, it would be great.

Speaker 13 It's a tricky one.

Speaker 113 Okay.

Speaker 13 Very touchy. Okay.

Speaker 13 Did PC culture kill Star Wars with The Last Jedi? Or is it just that Star Wars fandom has a white slash racist slash sexist male problem?

Speaker 20 Hello and welcome back to the Star Wars challenge.

Speaker 29 It's a tough, tough one.

Speaker 3 Can I take the fiscal challenge on this one?

Speaker 74 Why would you want to?

Speaker 18 Oh, yeah, you want to do this?

Speaker 40 Nobody's doing it.

Speaker 13 You know that he never helps you, though.

Speaker 96 It's all right. I can carry this one.

Speaker 5 Oh, he repeats

Speaker 20 Well, he does.

Speaker 104 No, just repeat. So, what you're saying is, so what you're saying is,

Speaker 5 Star Trek, Star Wars.

Speaker 13 This is where you can, as

Speaker 13 Min Chen, you have more to offer on this subject than Mike does. You do.

Speaker 48 You're part of the problem.

Speaker 81 I am.

Speaker 18 I am.

Speaker 81 I'm the late head champion, man.

Speaker 118 You're just giving him more time to think of something to say.

Speaker 13 All right, guys, two minutes.

Speaker 4 Okay.

Speaker 52 He's like, what are the physical challenges?

Speaker 52 All right. Hello, everybody.

Speaker 3 Welcome to Iceland Comics. Star Wars, down the tubes.
No one likes it. Is it because of the

Speaker 3 white supremacy

Speaker 3 PC culture ruining the franchise?

Speaker 31 Do you think that's what it is, Ming? Is it the white.

Speaker 120 I mean,

Speaker 31 I think it was beautifully put when

Speaker 13 Darth Vader.

Speaker 31 So Darth Vader takes off his helmet and it's a pruny old white guy.

Speaker 25 Right.

Speaker 31 When you thought that it was going to be this

Speaker 130 badass black character, character, right?

Speaker 88 Evil. Dressed in white.

Speaker 99 I didn't say evil.

Speaker 5 Hey, I personally love Darth Vader as a character.

Speaker 3 I think this all started with Phantom Menace, with all the racial stereotypes in that movie.

Speaker 37 They just threw them out there.

Speaker 3 I think that all of them, racial stereotypes.

Speaker 24 Of course.

Speaker 31 Jar Jar. Jar Jar was like a caricature of Jamaican.

Speaker 84 Waddo is horrible.

Speaker 3 Everybody.

Speaker 31 Oh, my God. Don't even get me started on Waddo.

Speaker 3 And it got carried over to The Last Jedi.

Speaker 74 Yeah.

Speaker 31 I mean, it went all the way into the skipper movies.

Speaker 102 It's a white man.

Speaker 73 You agree with this? That is the problem.

Speaker 105 I think it's a problem.

Speaker 4 Of course.

Speaker 3 How do we fix this then?

Speaker 73 Then I think story counts.

Speaker 31 I said it before. I'll say it again.

Speaker 3 Story is back to the well, Mike Samson.

Speaker 31 Go to it. And you know what? It doesn't matter if a character is black, Asian, Latino.
It doesn't matter.

Speaker 120 Shriveled up white man.

Speaker 62 You said that matters.

Speaker 13 The guys address what matters. Address the topic, though.

Speaker 31 But if you want to have racial diversity,

Speaker 130 show more racial diversity.

Speaker 134 Bring in someone other than Princess Leah as a female character, for God's sake.

Speaker 89 I agree with you, Tranny.

Speaker 52 You know what?

Speaker 134 If you want, you can bring one of those people.

Speaker 30 Quit making the Asian woman those people that everybody hates.

Speaker 37 Exactly.

Speaker 142 Yeah, what's up with that?

Speaker 31 I have no idea. And I think it's just short-sightedness, and it makes for choppy writing, number one.
And storytelling, horrible.

Speaker 3 Bad writing. So even as a friend of that, I still love it.

Speaker 98 I would pay to see a video reaction of the writers of Star Wars.

Speaker 71 Okay.

Speaker 13 What did you guys think? Before you get the scores, you guys did okay in that one?

Speaker 3 It's a tough topic. Very tough topic.

Speaker 62 Like abortion and guns.

Speaker 52 I don't apologize right there.

Speaker 110 I didn't hear much hurrah.

Speaker 3 Got a lot of ground to cover.

Speaker 13 Do you feel you covered the

Speaker 3 two minutes? It's tough stuff.

Speaker 3 We did our best in two minutes, I feel.

Speaker 31 And Ling was engaged.

Speaker 50 Did you notice that?

Speaker 105 Passionate. I did.

Speaker 102 Passionate.

Speaker 58 Is that allowed in this state?

Speaker 16 Mike, did you see Last Jedi?

Speaker 62 Did I see Last Jedi?

Speaker 34 I did.

Speaker 4 I don't like Last Jedi.

Speaker 63 No, I did not.

Speaker 8 I felt like you undercut your own argument because you stated they needed to bring in diverse characters,

Speaker 51 and they did.

Speaker 8 And I think that's what the question was trying to get to: was that, okay, they brought

Speaker 55 Rose in

Speaker 55 to be a heroine.

Speaker 8 John Viega's in there, so they brought in all this diversity, and a lot of fans are crapping all over it.

Speaker 31 Well, that's because of the story. The story sucked.
Where did they go?

Speaker 8 How turned on are you right now, Mrs. Lanceman?

Speaker 44 Yeah,

Speaker 34 go on like this. Yeah,

Speaker 133 from a scale of one to five.

Speaker 13 You guys were engaged with each other.

Speaker 32 Ming was carrying his weight. You were sincere.
I took some points off because,

Speaker 6 like I said, I felt you undercut you in an argument, so I gave you a three.

Speaker 88 All right. Okay, practical.

Speaker 53 Nice.

Speaker 105 Okay, I'll take three.

Speaker 48 Chris,

Speaker 130 this is God.

Speaker 13 You love Star Wars. So you know this.

Speaker 62 Sorry, Jeff.

Speaker 123 We know you love Star Wars.

Speaker 46 I love Starboys.

Speaker 40 I love Strawboys.

Speaker 45 More than you

Speaker 13 are allowed to love Star Wars.

Speaker 28 I used to love Starboard.

Speaker 13 So this is near and dear to your heart, right? This topic? It is.

Speaker 13 I would love to hear what you think about this argument. Does Star Wars?

Speaker 8 Both worlds, SJW and Star Wars.

Speaker 13 does star wars have a white person problem well sexist racist white male problem if in in their fandom or isn't that the pc culture killed the last i think in the fandom this um yeah

Speaker 67 yeah

Speaker 79 you see it all the time even in this

Speaker 62 even this world

Speaker 12 audience i've seen it

Speaker 34 about star wars no about uh we got ourselves a chinaman what are you talking about

Speaker 11 not not this group of people i'm talking about oh okay a little crazy

Speaker 8 mexican come on man it's a fucking united Nations, bro.

Speaker 39 But I thought they did great.

Speaker 39 I thought they carried

Speaker 3 high praise from Chris Lorago.

Speaker 6 Put the equal time in like 69.

Speaker 71 And

Speaker 25 I gave him a four-point, a zero-one.

Speaker 88 Wow.

Speaker 4 That's a high score.

Speaker 17 That's a good one.

Speaker 19 I changed my answer.

Speaker 13 Cheering himself to the judge.

Speaker 90 You know, there's still more rounds.

Speaker 51 Okay, okay.

Speaker 92 Frank. So So I thought they did a really nice job.
I thought it was very sincere. I also thought it was entertaining.

Speaker 92 One of the things that I did wish that they did was tell us what makes each character like the target of the.

Speaker 13 Yeah, I wish they did that too.

Speaker 71 Yeah, it would have been great if I had

Speaker 51 more than

Speaker 84 200.

Speaker 27 Top of the two.

Speaker 67 I gave him a three. All right.
Hi,

Speaker 88 three.

Speaker 5 Mrs. Five.
Right on, man.

Speaker 137 I thought they were sincere. I thought they did equal time on their discussion.

Speaker 111 They didn't talk about any scary stuff about fetus.

Speaker 5 Three, we got three.

Speaker 53 Okay, three.

Speaker 18 Doesn't disturb me.

Speaker 104 Wow, that's got to be scores really close, right?

Speaker 14 Yeah, those are good. That's a good run, guys.
Congrats.

Speaker 118 Right. Well, the places haven't moved much.
We still have Team ISO Comics with 57.74. Team TSD with 69.185.
And Team Jeff and Troy in the lead with 70.24.

Speaker 13 The underdogs.

Speaker 13 All right. So next, the next event we're doing will not call for judges.
You're on your own here. It's whether you sink or swim with these

Speaker 13 cryptic riddles.

Speaker 39 Remember it from Halloween?

Speaker 72 Refresh me, please.

Speaker 13 You summoned a certain fiend, and he delivered some cryptic riddles.

Speaker 109 And those riddles

Speaker 13 worse than you have to figure out, based upon the riddles the Baron gives you, what the overall theme is.

Speaker 25 Right.

Speaker 17 Remember, he's like, could we get this one?

Speaker 44 Yeah.

Speaker 88 Like, it could be this one.

Speaker 14 Yeah. Okay.
All right. Well, it'll be fun.
It'll be fun to watch this.

Speaker 118 You want Gethim Tration back?

Speaker 73 No.

Speaker 8 Get him Treasury was bad, but this was impossible.

Speaker 33 Is the Baron coming?

Speaker 13 The Baron. Yeah, someone's got to summon the Baron.

Speaker 118 Is the Baron ready to be summoned?

Speaker 13 Yeah, I got all my stuff here.

Speaker 85 That's showmanship, folks.

Speaker 118 Oh, cobalt incubus, spitting riddles, violin, cryptic. I call upon the bastard fiend, filled with sin and oh, so satanic.

Speaker 75 cave item tour yeah oh

Speaker 20 yes

Speaker 10 yes well it's the blue baron perhaps

Speaker 14 the baron of cryptic riddles yeah this is possibly the most insidious baron of all i feel okay thank you

Speaker 30 Ow!

Speaker 13 Tell him, Steve, Dave, you guys are going first.

Speaker 13 Okay, because I know you love this game.

Speaker 9 Yeah, thank you.

Speaker 13 All right, so I give you three clues, three riddles,

Speaker 13 but you have to guess the riddles right to have a chance to guess at the overall theme.

Speaker 51 Right.

Speaker 33 Okay, first cryptic riddle.

Speaker 91 Yeah.

Speaker 13 The star of true grit

Speaker 13 saw a homosexual.

Speaker 36 The star of true grit

Speaker 13 saw a homosexual.

Speaker 28 Maybe I'm supposed to be doing from that.

Speaker 85 Oh my gosh.

Speaker 36 What's the answer to that?

Speaker 8 The star

Speaker 94 John Wayne.

Speaker 82 True Brits saw a hose.

Speaker 123 I was talking about the remake.

Speaker 33 Jim Darby. Come on.
You know.

Speaker 72 I don't think it saw a homosexual.

Speaker 24 So

Speaker 24 John Wayne Gacy.

Speaker 78 Correct.

Speaker 13 Well done. The Baron is impressed.

Speaker 4 Yes.

Speaker 30 I mean, that's.

Speaker 25 As soon as I figured out the game, I was like, oh, okay.

Speaker 13 So, you have an opportunity to guess at the overall theme after knowing that the first riddle's answer is John Wayne, gay C.

Speaker 14 No penalization for getting it wrong at this point.

Speaker 13 No, you will not get it wrong.

Speaker 14 I think that Clowns is probably the closer answer because if he did another serial killer, we would just know.

Speaker 98 Yeah.

Speaker 8 All right, so clowns? Yeah.

Speaker 79 Clowns.

Speaker 79 Okay.

Speaker 34 Okay. Didn't expect that.

Speaker 65 So happy. So happy.

Speaker 51 All right.

Speaker 13 Riddle number two. You only get three.

Speaker 13 From my window, I watched a hornet land where a golf ball usually sits while I ate the most special letter in the alphabet.

Speaker 8 BTK.

Speaker 108 Correct. Wow.

Speaker 98 That was quick.

Speaker 63 Wow, you're getting good at this. Yeah, I am, right?

Speaker 18 So much more bothered.

Speaker 10 I mean, serial killers.

Speaker 19 Hmm.

Speaker 13 Flannin's son has to put their heads together.

Speaker 14 Is that murderers?

Speaker 13 Whoa, you already gave serial killers.

Speaker 28 All right, so now you know what the next question is.

Speaker 118 I think there is a distinction there.

Speaker 31 You can't go serial killers and then serial murderers.

Speaker 63 What the hell's wrong with you?

Speaker 13 I conferred with you.

Speaker 14 Is this the mask, the mass murderer, serial killer fucking distinction?

Speaker 28 Well, they're definitely not. They're definitely

Speaker 21 both serial killers.

Speaker 13 You only got one more riddle to get this right.

Speaker 123 All right.

Speaker 13 Chuck has an adult male child.

Speaker 8 Charles Mansell.

Speaker 8 Correct.

Speaker 13 Three for three, but oh, so close to getting the proper answer, though. Yeah, oh, so close.
It's all for naught if you don't get this right.

Speaker 20 Yeah.

Speaker 30 Everything is 90% of the topic.

Speaker 110 If you don't guess the overall theme,

Speaker 13 all that great work, Brian did.

Speaker 14 So serial killer. I got John Wayne.
Talking about it.

Speaker 110 He didn't get Gay C, Cito.

Speaker 14 Yeah, but he didn't get John Wayne.

Speaker 122 He didn't, though.

Speaker 13 I didn't see the back go off your shoulders in that round.

Speaker 113 Yeah.

Speaker 13 So we got, let's go over what you got right.

Speaker 14 So Serial Killers, it's not serial killers, but that was in contention. So it's some bullshit get him roll.

Speaker 17 Yeah,

Speaker 14 it's mini golf minister golf all over again.

Speaker 10 It's a split hair.

Speaker 14 It's not clown. It's a zeppelin.

Speaker 63 Go ahead, Brian.

Speaker 13 Just go with your gut. Murderous, yeah.

Speaker 8 Just go murderous. I know it's not that, but

Speaker 13 plans on confer again.

Speaker 28 What do you think?

Speaker 114 I think that's close enough, isn't it?

Speaker 5 He's shaking his head.

Speaker 109 Chuck is saying. Chuck is saying, yeah.

Speaker 13 Yeah, okay. All right.
We'll give it to you. Famous killers.

Speaker 7 Okay.

Speaker 13 Not serial killers, because Charles Manson is a serial killer.

Speaker 17 Absolutely.

Speaker 13 He was convicted of murder. So he is a killer.
All right. So how many points do they get for that game?

Speaker 118 They got 15 points, which brings them up to 84.185 in the league.

Speaker 122 In the league. in BSD.

Speaker 88 All right. Well done, guys.

Speaker 14 This is where our experience gives us an advantage.

Speaker 13 Troy and Jeff have never played cryptic riddles.

Speaker 37 Right.

Speaker 13 Mike and Ming have never played. Mike has played some cryptic riddles with being at the stage, but I don't think you've ever played.

Speaker 13 Just for fun, me and Mike do it.

Speaker 62 Just to pass on the slow game.

Speaker 20 You get them done around.

Speaker 85 Of course,

Speaker 39 all right.

Speaker 13 Uh, Jeff and Troy, your guys are up.

Speaker 13 The two identical brothers reached the summit.

Speaker 48 Twin Peaks.

Speaker 39 Yeah, Troy.

Speaker 63 Wow, you guys are on a roll.

Speaker 30 With one.

Speaker 142 I'm going through a dyslexia right now.

Speaker 3 Sunday, Jeff was a scoff.

Speaker 136 Why can't they bring this for other games?

Speaker 36 I didn't even get a chance to say it.

Speaker 13 So, what do you think the overall theme is?

Speaker 72 Either David Lynch or television shows.

Speaker 13 I would go with the latter so you get another chance at saying it.

Speaker 72 Okay, television shows.

Speaker 30 Wrong.

Speaker 39 All right.

Speaker 13 Here we go, Jeff.

Speaker 13 That cow from the Netherlands can operate a car.

Speaker 13 Would you like to go on to the final riddle?

Speaker 72 Can we go back to the other one? Can we do the last one and then take another shot at it? No.

Speaker 13 All right, final riddle. There's a missing street on my map.

Speaker 13 Damn, you guys are doing so good. Yeah.

Speaker 104 It's falling apart, right, Farmer? All right, this is one obvious one.

Speaker 66 Lost Highway.

Speaker 13 So we've got Lost Highway, and what was the other one? Oh, Twin Peaks.

Speaker 63 I would go with David.

Speaker 5 Oh, I got it. What?

Speaker 72 David Lynch Romles, Twin Peaks. The second one was Moholland Drive, Muholland Drive, and Lost Highway.

Speaker 40 Well done.

Speaker 18 Right.

Speaker 104 But

Speaker 104 just like what he said.

Speaker 13 What's the overall thing?

Speaker 28 David Lynch Froms.

Speaker 21 David Lynch, yes, welcome.

Speaker 4 Wow. All right.

Speaker 53 Wow.

Speaker 5 Nice. Wow.
Wow.

Speaker 13 Find all cryptic riddles for you guys.

Speaker 5 Okay.

Speaker 1 No, race your head.

Speaker 13 You ready? Yes. Mr.
Reinhold has great fear his movie career is over.

Speaker 32 Judge Drett.

Speaker 72 Judged? Wow.

Speaker 86 Wow.

Speaker 88 He's nice.

Speaker 34 Wow.

Speaker 134 Let's do this when it's like you said, right?

Speaker 17 Slow days is what we're doing.

Speaker 5 Okay. Okay.

Speaker 5 All right.

Speaker 13 Go ahead. You You guys want to take an overall?

Speaker 23 What the overall theme is?

Speaker 33 We don't work, just slow days.

Speaker 3 Best times of Richmond High.

Speaker 8 Brown Little's Cobb. No.

Speaker 121 Judge Reinhold was a rich.

Speaker 13 Judge Dretz.

Speaker 4 Judge Dredge.

Speaker 34 Judge Dredge.

Speaker 67 I'm tripping balls.

Speaker 91 Stallone movies. Stallone movies?

Speaker 13 Stallone movies?

Speaker 63 No.

Speaker 25 Okay.

Speaker 13 That pig won't stop kicking his hindcores in front of the house of Exalts.

Speaker 13 That pig won't stop kicking his hindquarters in front of the House of Exalts.

Speaker 13 All right, guys, I have to go on to the next one.

Speaker 48 Okay.

Speaker 8 Is it Arnold Schwarzenegger?

Speaker 108 No. Okay.
Okay. No.

Speaker 3 Was he in Judge Dredd?

Speaker 51 No, it doesn't matter.

Speaker 13 The physician sounds like an owl.

Speaker 8 Doctor Who.

Speaker 13 Okay, so now you have Judge Dredd.

Speaker 31 Okay, Judge Dredd, Doctor Who, British Heroes.

Speaker 6 Sorry, guys.

Speaker 13 Because if you would have got that pig bone stopped kicking his hindquarters in front of the House of Exalts, Buckingham Palace. Yeah.

Speaker 79 Buckingham Palace.

Speaker 14 You would have known that all three clues were British things.

Speaker 57 British things.

Speaker 91 Judge Dredd.

Speaker 13 But Q, you look like you're not having a picture.

Speaker 15 Well, I'm just not following the pig-kicking one.

Speaker 14 That buck.

Speaker 5 No, you just have a fucking ham.

Speaker 5 It won't stop.

Speaker 37 But

Speaker 10 So when is the buck come in?

Speaker 38 The pigs.

Speaker 120 That's called bucking?

Speaker 15 Yeah.

Speaker 85 You ever seen horsebuck?

Speaker 79 Okay.

Speaker 17 You've never seen a pig buck.

Speaker 124 I guess not.

Speaker 5 I got it now. All right, so now we're halfway.
We've got half of it right here.

Speaker 79 We got a week of buck.

Speaker 5 But wait a second.

Speaker 83 We got half of it, right? All right.

Speaker 14 But buck doesn't start the sentence.

Speaker 13 It doesn't matter. It's cryptic.
It can be anywhere.

Speaker 104 It can be the first time the game is.

Speaker 30 But it should be.

Speaker 127 Bucking should be the first thing.

Speaker 39 I love you for having our back on this.

Speaker 13 We're just jealous because everybody at the table

Speaker 94 got their riddle right.

Speaker 68 Ham buck?

Speaker 13 Yeah, bucking ham. It's a bucking ham.

Speaker 8 We learned last. I got to go with Walt on this one.

Speaker 34 We learned last time the works could be in any order.

Speaker 17 Not even

Speaker 5 that.

Speaker 54 We have a really close game here, Walt, don't we?

Speaker 118 We have the two teams in lead separated by only 1.055 points.5 side up.

Speaker 13 All right, another new game coming in. in are you smarter than a 148 right wow

Speaker 13 you each are going to get a question you have to write down what you think the answer is okay

Speaker 13 if you get the answer right and get him gets it right you still get points but if he get him gets it wrong and you get it right

Speaker 13 you get double points nice

Speaker 13 if you if even if you get it wrong and get him gets it wrong you get points as well.

Speaker 13 He should get it right. He's 148.
He's been touting that shit for years. Yeah.

Speaker 72 So no matter what you get points, it's just more points depending on what happens.

Speaker 115 Yeah.

Speaker 14 Well, no, you get him, you can get it right, and you can get it wrong. You got to go over there and get him.

Speaker 15 You want to get any points.

Speaker 29 I love it.

Speaker 29 Just a curious side.

Speaker 34 Seriously, yeah.

Speaker 121 No integrity.

Speaker 14 If you get it wrong, get him, get it right. Then you don't get points.
Right.

Speaker 13 Yeah. Okay.
Each team will go up against an adversary with the intelligence of 148.

Speaker 13 Each team will get a question deemed challenging for people with high IQs. If both you and our participant with the 148 IQ get the answer right, the team gets 15 points.

Speaker 13 If our 148 gets it wrong and our team gets it right, then it's double.

Speaker 11 Okay? Okay.

Speaker 32 And that's what? Get them?

Speaker 3 30.

Speaker 11 Good boy.

Speaker 13 If both get the question wrong, that team gets five points. So you should, because you should be getting these questions right.

Speaker 39 Okay. All right.
First question.

Speaker 14 If the person gets it right and you get it wrong.

Speaker 62 Zero points. Zero.
Okay.

Speaker 88 Okay.

Speaker 13 So the first one is, unfortunately, for people listening at home, you won't be able to tell what it is because it's a visual question. But I'm going to hold up an object and you have to write it down.

Speaker 13 And then, and then we're all playing on the same term. You guys are up first.
Tell them 68.

Speaker 13 Okay. I'm going to hold this object up and I'm going to ask you a question about it.

Speaker 13 And then you write down what the answer is, and then Giddam will tell us what the answer is, and you reveal what you wrote down.

Speaker 14 Okay. Okay, Giddam.
What he thinks the answers are?

Speaker 62 Well, he should know.

Speaker 13 He shouldn't think.

Speaker 39 It's 148. Right.

Speaker 9 Okay.

Speaker 13 How many holes are in this t-shirt?

Speaker 13 Brian Q, you can confer, but you shouldn't confer out loud.

Speaker 98 I mean, you want to just write the number down.

Speaker 13 How many holes are in this t-shirt?

Speaker 13 Your answer's been recorded? Yeah.

Speaker 13 Get them. How many holes are in this t-shirt?

Speaker 118 I would say eight.

Speaker 108 Eight. Wow.

Speaker 106 There's one at the top, two.

Speaker 29 Arm holes.

Speaker 13 There's one over the waist hole.

Speaker 65 That's four.

Speaker 118 Plus the two on the front and the the two in the back.

Speaker 13 Two in the back.

Speaker 84 Eight.

Speaker 85 You guys write down.

Speaker 38 That was a 131 that you struggle.

Speaker 27 I thought this was hard.

Speaker 13 I didn't get this because I forgot about the holes on the back.

Speaker 13 So that's why I thought everybody would forget about the holes in the back.

Speaker 25 You're fucking dummies.

Speaker 99 I can't wait to see your faces.

Speaker 17 So we got 15.

Speaker 13 Yeah, you both got it right.

Speaker 111 15.

Speaker 13 So 15 points for somebody.

Speaker 9 What's that shirt?

Speaker 13 That was my cruise shirt.

Speaker 58 On my family cruise. Oh, yeah.
I knew I would never wear it again.

Speaker 105 So I put two holes.

Speaker 13 What was the, and this is for Jeff and Troy. What was the U.S.
President's name in 1996?

Speaker 13 Write it down.

Speaker 13 Sorry.

Speaker 13 Have you recorded your answer?

Speaker 98 What was the U.S. President's name in 1996? U.S.
president is not a name. I can't believe they're conferring on this question.

Speaker 13 Get him?

Speaker 118 That would be George Bush, 41.

Speaker 13 What did you guys write?

Speaker 72 I went with Donald Trump because the U.S. president is Donald Trump.
In 1996, his name was still Donald Trump.

Speaker 54 Correct.

Speaker 75 Fucking 148.

Speaker 87 You morphed.

Speaker 64 Get your pants down in front of all these people.

Speaker 13 How did you not know that?

Speaker 118 I thought you were the reigning president, who was the sitting president in 1996.

Speaker 72 In 1996, it was Bill Clinton anyway.

Speaker 19 Yeah, he would have been gone.

Speaker 5 So I should be wrong.

Speaker 99 Can Can I get one

Speaker 13 in that yellow shirt for a rag? Do I get more points for that? Double points.

Speaker 40 Really valid.

Speaker 39 Can I go back to counting holes in case

Speaker 4 you're not going to be able to get it?

Speaker 5 You might have just won them the whole game.

Speaker 4 Will you not?

Speaker 30 Never give me shit again on a political post on social media again.

Speaker 4 There's still more.

Speaker 7 Oh,

Speaker 2 wow.

Speaker 47 It just costs us the game.

Speaker 4 Well, hey, you guys.

Speaker 118 I know how to fuck my wedding.

Speaker 5 Like a ming.

Speaker 21 Let's just hope he's done with our question.

Speaker 5 Write it down though. The answer.

Speaker 13 In British Columbia. You got to go again.

Speaker 39 I got more.

Speaker 13 In British Columbia, you cannot take a picture of a man with a wooden leg. Why not?

Speaker 13 Tell me when you're done writing.

Speaker 13 Oh, Bing knows. I think you know.
You notice one, Gim?

Speaker 118 I'm kind of shaking from the.

Speaker 13 I can tell. Yeah.

Speaker 8 He's writing it in English and Chinese with his dumb autograph.

Speaker 31 Can we repeat the question one more time?

Speaker 13 In British Columbia, you cannot take a picture of a man with a wooden leg. Why not? You're done.
Your answer is recorded. Get him.

Speaker 13 Why can't you take a picture of a man with a wooden leg in British Columbia?

Speaker 98 Holy shit.

Speaker 98 Holy shit.

Speaker 61 Oh, get him.

Speaker 98 My camera ran out of the home.

Speaker 62 It's just filled with cheerleaders.

Speaker 35 I'm stumped.

Speaker 40 I'm so happy.

Speaker 72 As gleeful as he always gets with your riddles when they don't get

Speaker 39 this fucking cocksucker.

Speaker 5 Holy shit.

Speaker 120 Go ahead, Bing.

Speaker 3 Bing, reason why in British Columbia, you can't take a picture.

Speaker 3 What's the question again?

Speaker 46 Do you hear a man with a wooden leg?

Speaker 3 Because wooden legs cannot take photographs.

Speaker 54 Correct.

Speaker 7 Okay.

Speaker 59 Double points to take photographs.

Speaker 25 Discratia get him.

Speaker 13 I mean, does this really just hammer home that that 148 was complete and utter bullshit?

Speaker 4 Yeah.

Speaker 75 He just wrote his real IQ.

Speaker 18 He wishes.

Speaker 13 I want to see you fucking humiliated.

Speaker 13 I want to see you like,

Speaker 13 I want to see a towel thrown in before I let you out of the corner.

Speaker 4 We got your terrible towel over there.

Speaker 51 All right.

Speaker 13 Troy and Jeff.

Speaker 13 A truck is stuck under a bridge and the driver cannot get it out.

Speaker 13 Gidham walks by and stops to help. He easily gets the truck unstuck.
How did he do it?

Speaker 13 You know?

Speaker 69 Oh, wow.

Speaker 118 That's what my ego just did.

Speaker 8 Do we get another one, too?

Speaker 13 Yeah, you got another one, too?

Speaker 28 It should not take this long to say yes.

Speaker 18 All right, guys,

Speaker 119 have you written down an answer?

Speaker 11 Yes.

Speaker 63 Okay, Giddam. How come?

Speaker 13 What did you do to get that truck? To fight the tires.

Speaker 118 Back it up.

Speaker 13 What did you guys write?

Speaker 50 Let air out of the tires.

Speaker 13 Correct. Nice.

Speaker 62 15 points.

Speaker 61 Wow.

Speaker 24 Jeff and Troy. Holy shit, they're so far ahead of us.

Speaker 5 You really need to

Speaker 13 get this one wrong. If he gets this wrong, you're right back in it, though.

Speaker 51 All right.

Speaker 13 Okay, Brian Q. You are in a place called Giddam's World, and there is only one law.

Speaker 13 There is a mirror, but no reflection. There is pizza with cheese, but no sausage.
There is pepper, but no salt. There is a door, yet no entrance or exit.
What is Giddam's law?

Speaker 13 We've got to write it down now.

Speaker 33 Mirror with no reflection.

Speaker 13 Cheese with no, I mean, pizza with cheese, but no sausage.

Speaker 13 Nice colon. Thank you.

Speaker 8 Pepper but no salt.

Speaker 63 All right.

Speaker 13 That was a time.

Speaker 13 And Giddam, do you know the answer?

Speaker 33 No.

Speaker 1 All right, so don't feel bad to get points anyway.

Speaker 13 In Gidham's world, every word must contain double letters.

Speaker 112 Mirror,

Speaker 13 pizza, cheese, door.

Speaker 48 I mean, that part, I guess.

Speaker 70 What was the last part of the word?

Speaker 118 There was a door, but no exit?

Speaker 13 Pepper, no salt.

Speaker 63 What?

Speaker 118 Well, no, what was the last part about the

Speaker 85 entrance or no exit?

Speaker 13 Because there's no double letters in the word.

Speaker 122 All right, Mike, can make it a little bit more.

Speaker 58 Oh, wait, wait, does an entrance have two E's in it?

Speaker 39 Huh? No,

Speaker 13 not

Speaker 106 double letters.

Speaker 109 Oh, okay, okay.

Speaker 98 Okay. Oh, now I got it.

Speaker 13 You see a boat filled with people. This is the last one.
Then we're in the final event. You're going to see a boat filled with people.

Speaker 13 It has not sunk, but when you look again, you don't see a single person on the boat.

Speaker 66 Why?

Speaker 98 Gotta write it down, Mike.

Speaker 79 I know.

Speaker 13 Giddam, what is the answer?

Speaker 51 They're all married.

Speaker 13 Mike and Ming, what'd you write?

Speaker 31 We were looking at its reflection. Okay, gotcha.

Speaker 98 They're what? What?

Speaker 31 Looking at its reflection in the water.

Speaker 13 Giddam was right. They were all married people on the boat.
Not a single person was on the boat because they were all married.

Speaker 118 So that gives them five points?

Speaker 13 Gives them two points. No, it gives them no points.

Speaker 113 You got it right. All right.

Speaker 13 All right. Final event is a professor and presser.

Speaker 118 Can I go sit down and shame now?

Speaker 20 Yes, absolutely.

Speaker 54 Let's hit a shot.

Speaker 14 Don't worry, buddy. It'll run right off your back.

Speaker 13 In this final event, each team is given a what-if scenario that they will have two minutes and 30 seconds to present how the world would be different if their scenario were true.

Speaker 13 Judges will present a score. Now we're going to get into big scores:

Speaker 63 10

Speaker 13 being the worst, and 50 being the best. 50?

Speaker 70 That's a big spread there, isn't it?

Speaker 5 Zero.

Speaker 13 But Frank 5 is the only professor you're really,

Speaker 13 his points are worth double.

Speaker 13 Okay, so if he gives you a 50, it's worth 100 points.

Speaker 19 Wow.

Speaker 30 You know, I know we're trying to impress everyone.

Speaker 13 Trying to impress everyone, but mostly the professor, because it's professor impressor.

Speaker 63 Right.

Speaker 13 Because his, his, whatever he rewards, awards, is double the points.

Speaker 116 Who's coming back?

Speaker 51 All right.

Speaker 13 Now, for in the fairness of people listening or watching, each team was given their topics beforehand so they could prepare. So this is not off the cuff.

Speaker 13 I want to be upfront and honest with the listeners.

Speaker 6 So 10 to worst, 50 to best.

Speaker 10 I mean, I totally forgot about that.

Speaker 36 I didn't put much thought to it, so it's kind of off the cuff.

Speaker 17 That was a goal.

Speaker 17 We're keeping it real over here.

Speaker 13 Mike and Ming, would you like to go first?

Speaker 118 Just so the people, the judges know what.

Speaker 40 Excuse me, Flanner.

Speaker 96 Son has something to say.

Speaker 5 Somebody left their headlights on in their car.

Speaker 118 You were invoting on how imaginative the presentation was and how provoking the presentation was.

Speaker 21 Get him, why is your watch on so tight?

Speaker 110 It's like it'll cut off your fucking circulation.

Speaker 5 You're okay with that.

Speaker 99 Do you have gangrene?

Speaker 88 Dude, that is like crazy.

Speaker 9 He's like, I miss fingerprints.

Speaker 88 Oh my god.

Speaker 14 You don't want to loosen that by one so your fingers can feel again?

Speaker 70 Feel? All right.

Speaker 72 You got a hand transplant up from the grooms.

Speaker 54 This is so weird.

Speaker 118 I got a lot of people who can tell you that these fingers feel.

Speaker 7 Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.

Speaker 34 Most of them are corpses, but

Speaker 17 I mean, if they could speak ever again.

Speaker 58 No, never speak to me again, buddy.

Speaker 13 Okay, Mike and Men, you guys are up first. You need this so bad.

Speaker 79 How long do we have?

Speaker 13 Two minutes and 30 seconds.

Speaker 105 Okay.

Speaker 13 Your topic is:

Speaker 13 we now live in a world

Speaker 13 where a human's sexual/slash reproductive organs are on our faces.

Speaker 35 What are you doing like right before the pod started?

Speaker 20 All right, we're with you. It's got to be awful.

Speaker 13 How would our world be different in a world where everyone

Speaker 123 junk is on their face?

Speaker 13 You guys had hours to go over this.

Speaker 1 Yes, it would definitely be a problem to show father and and child affection.

Speaker 111 He's awake, folks.

Speaker 62 Thank you, Sunday, Jeff.

Speaker 125 I'm totally against that.

Speaker 13 All right, you ready again? Start the clock and go.

Speaker 21 All right, Ning.

Speaker 52 So we live in a world now.

Speaker 132 Oh, welcome back.

Speaker 52 So we live in a world now

Speaker 134 that our genitalia is our FA.

Speaker 3 Yes, will our world be better or worse? I feel it would actually be better.

Speaker 25 Okay, explain. I might see one.

Speaker 3 That's one.

Speaker 88 But, you know, we live in

Speaker 3 a society where sexual workers are covered.

Speaker 8 So

Speaker 3 everybody's faces will be covered. And I feel that love would be truly blind at that point because

Speaker 75 it's still sacred.

Speaker 84 Yeah, I would hope that if we did cover our faces, we would have eye holes.

Speaker 4 Right.

Speaker 31 Okay, so we're wandering around like Spider-Man.

Speaker 9 Yes.

Speaker 67 How is that better?

Speaker 3 Because, you know, there is everything's so superficial these days.

Speaker 3 Everything's always been superficial. Faces would be covered.
We would love each other for our hearts and our minds and not purely based on visuals.

Speaker 31 So you advocate for the Burqa?

Speaker 89 Yes.

Speaker 125 Really? In this case? Wow, okay.

Speaker 53 In this case, yes.

Speaker 3 Absolutely. In this case,

Speaker 5 okay.

Speaker 31 I think that the world would be much worse because

Speaker 31 minute and a half left. No soccer.

Speaker 31 No soccer. If you can't play soccer.

Speaker 5 Why? Why?

Speaker 84 You know?

Speaker 79 If the soccer ball

Speaker 31 petting, you know, and it's bad enough, you get soccer. Yeah.
Okay. If your junk is on your face, you can't, you know, get a reason.

Speaker 30 Okay.

Speaker 124 We all know so much.

Speaker 47 Everyone plays soccer.

Speaker 7 Well, we all know about it.

Speaker 3 Okay, anything else besides soccer?

Speaker 104 Well, first topic, you're also talking about in one minute.

Speaker 56 Seriously, I'm not fucking.

Speaker 29 We're going to extend the time. Five minutes.

Speaker 124 Let me tell you more about soccer.

Speaker 10 Football helmets.

Speaker 13 I mean, think about repercussions. Think about how, like, think

Speaker 47 dick

Speaker 94 would be on your head.

Speaker 134 It would be on your head, yes.

Speaker 31 Seriously, and fist fights, thing of the past, because nobody wants to punch it. Because it's all dirty punches if you're going for somebody's face.

Speaker 3 All right, so punch people in the stomach then.

Speaker 131 Okay. Who would do that?

Speaker 3 Punch people in the crotch. It won't matter anymore.
I don't think fights would be a thing of the past.

Speaker 9 I know.

Speaker 114 I disagree.

Speaker 13 You had how many hours it takes?

Speaker 109 10 seconds, thankfully.

Speaker 39 What about you?

Speaker 50 Come on.

Speaker 31 You're telling me that a Burka is yours.

Speaker 129 No, no, no, no, it's not necessarily a Burka, but a mask.

Speaker 53 It's like a pair of masks.

Speaker 3 A mask. Yeah, I think we were truly.

Speaker 124 Oh, thank you.

Speaker 118 Thank you, Jeebus.

Speaker 8 I have a feeling we're not going to see a repeat of those high scores.

Speaker 51 Guys,

Speaker 13 I mean, that was like, you put it on a T.

Speaker 13 There's so many possibilities you could have went with.

Speaker 35 Professor Can't even make a

Speaker 118 magnetary numbers, Frank.

Speaker 13 Frank five, you're the last, of course, because since your

Speaker 13 scores mean double, we're going to let everybody else go before you because

Speaker 13 we're going to build the anticipation.

Speaker 13 So we didn't do it with that pod, but we're going to do it here with

Speaker 13 the judges' scores

Speaker 98 by the lance.

Speaker 8 How long did they have to think about this?

Speaker 13 I gave it to them about two, three hours ago in the afternoon.

Speaker 83 Maybe more.

Speaker 32 I didn't think Burka was the most imaginative

Speaker 106 solution to that problem, nor was

Speaker 18 it a lot of sports we could play

Speaker 8 with our genitalia on our faces? So I gave him a 20.

Speaker 64 All right, take the 20.

Speaker 13 Not bad, though.

Speaker 3 All right,

Speaker 3 not 50, but

Speaker 8 I don't know what the hell happened.

Speaker 6 15.15.

Speaker 113 Okay.

Speaker 13 You have nothing to weigh?

Speaker 51 Nothing to add. How come?

Speaker 11 Okay. Zero.

Speaker 88 Why?

Speaker 89 You have no

Speaker 118 he's imagining genitalia on people's faces on this subway.

Speaker 13 Mrs. Five?

Speaker 137 Well, it was another disturbing topic for me.

Speaker 51 We're sorry.

Speaker 137 A little bit incoherent

Speaker 4 back and forth.

Speaker 54 Tad. 10.

Speaker 30 Okay.

Speaker 14 I couldn't give you less.

Speaker 34 I wanted to. I couldn't.

Speaker 13 All right, but still, there's still a chance to score big with Frank five.

Speaker 20 Is there?

Speaker 80 That was not really.

Speaker 14 Wow. The fives are surprisingly in line, generally.

Speaker 88 We got 10.

Speaker 39 How come?

Speaker 13 As a professor, we really want to hear how they shat the bed.

Speaker 9 Well, like you said, you're going to make me say it.

Speaker 30 Yeah, you're going to make me go for it.

Speaker 92 They had this for hours.

Speaker 141 I think you kind of come up with

Speaker 11 a little bit more than the Burqa and the soccer.

Speaker 92 But, I mean, on the fly, that would have been good.

Speaker 30 But having this for a couple of hours.

Speaker 13 He's such a nice guy.

Speaker 85 On the fly, I still would have sucked.

Speaker 13 What did you hope to hear when you first heard

Speaker 13 the topic about genitalia on our faces?

Speaker 13 Where did you hope it would go?

Speaker 92 Well, you know, how would we have sex now? What would that look like?

Speaker 62 How would we kiss our children?

Speaker 92 You know, what would happen if somebody ended up getting erection? Now it's right there.

Speaker 10 And okay.

Speaker 25 We call them unicorns.

Speaker 39 Yeah.

Speaker 126 And the female genitalia is on their face too.

Speaker 47 Yeah.

Speaker 30 So now if you're having a magical beast,

Speaker 104 well, would sex be? Wait, isn't it normal?

Speaker 13 Would sex be what we know it today? Would it be, or would it just be a matter of just like a peck on the cheek? And we did it.

Speaker 141 Well, fancy case, and I could sex all the cheeks.

Speaker 30 Goo.

Speaker 13 All right. So, what was it, 10? 10.
So with a 20 then? Yeah.

Speaker 13 You got the scores?

Speaker 118 Yep. That makes a total of 65.15 points.

Speaker 90 So they are in the lead, though.

Speaker 100 What?

Speaker 13 Actually, you guys are in the lead right now.

Speaker 52 If they pull all tens,

Speaker 5 they're still going to win, but still, racial winners.

Speaker 118 If they all fall into irrecoverable comas, you guys win.

Speaker 55 Not even.

Speaker 28 Like I care.

Speaker 55 What are we going to win?

Speaker 37 We're going for those bragging rights, boys.

Speaker 22 All right.

Speaker 13 Troy and Jeff, you know your topic.

Speaker 13 What if the Pinocchio effect was real?

Speaker 13 And all human beings who lied had their nose grow one-eighth of an inch for each lie they told?

Speaker 13 Just like Pinocchio.

Speaker 72 Does it have to be an intentional lie? Or like

Speaker 26 if

Speaker 72 you made a movie, that was a work of fiction. Just everybody's nose.

Speaker 62 Not a lie.

Speaker 13 But let's say you told your kid Santa Claus.

Speaker 72 No, you stole one of my talking points.

Speaker 18 God damn it.

Speaker 120 Do you want to start the talk?

Speaker 13 But your nose would still grow for every time you told your child that Santa Claus was real. But let's say

Speaker 13 you told a lie you didn't know was a lie. Like you were like, oh, who won the game last night? And you gave the wrong score.

Speaker 11 Okay.

Speaker 13 If you never found out

Speaker 104 that that score was wrong, your nose doesn't grow.

Speaker 13 But if you do find out that you gave erroneous information,

Speaker 8 so in this world, there's no such thing as mistakes.

Speaker 7 But what if you found out?

Speaker 126 So everyone, wait, get it 148.

Speaker 4 I have a question.

Speaker 31 If you don't find out, your nose stays the same.

Speaker 14 But what if you find out that you gave the wrong information and then call up and be like, hey man, I didn't know before I gave you wrong information. You apologize?

Speaker 14 You pass on the truth.

Speaker 8 How encompassing? How sincere were you?

Speaker 20 Were you rounding it when you said that?

Speaker 13 It really isn't going to matter, Q. I mean, you told a lie, and that's the world we live in now.

Speaker 98 One-eighth of an inch.

Speaker 13 It's not that big.

Speaker 102 Sure, okay.

Speaker 13 So you're going to be, you know what? You're going to be a lot more careful about the information you give out.

Speaker 62 Right.

Speaker 14 Just be like, I can't come.

Speaker 113 On everything. Right?

Speaker 13 All right, guys. Two minutes and 30 seconds.
You both have to be involved in the podcast.

Speaker 71 Go.

Speaker 71 Hey.

Speaker 72 If we were to live in a world where every time you told a lie, your nose grew an eighth of an inch like Pinocchio, I think that this generation right now would be kind of screwed because it's so ingrained in people to lie as it is.

Speaker 72 that, you know, for this generation, a lot of people would have noses that would cause them neck problems.

Speaker 72 But I think going forward, the world would be a better place because people would learn that you can't lie. And being incapable of lying,

Speaker 108 there'd be less

Speaker 72 breakups of marriages. If you were to go car shopping or more, you could get rock-bottom price.
You couldn't say, you know, what's the cheapest you give me this car for?

Speaker 72 And the dealer would still try and jack up the price. Auto mechanics would have to be honest.
If you were to buy a house, realtors would have to disclose all the damage.

Speaker 72 Just day-to-day life would be so much better if people couldn't lie to you.

Speaker 1 I agree. You actually have, you'd be walking around with your persona on your face, exactly.

Speaker 1 So, everything that you would say, you would have to either, you know, always tell the truth, or being a detective in New York City, you'd be able to see everything because now, if you're going to arrest somebody, you'd be actually asking them if they, so you'd know right off the bat, you wouldn't even, you'd eliminate the judicial.

Speaker 21 They call that, they call that nasal profiling.

Speaker 1 You'd eliminate the judicial system because you would automatically know, did you do it?

Speaker 1 Did you do it? No, so you're no.

Speaker 72 Well, ultimately, if that person were to just lawyer up and did you do it, I want a lawyer. They're not lying.
They're making a request. So there'd still be some hurdles to overcome with that.

Speaker 61 But

Speaker 1 it make you twice. It may think more than before you go.

Speaker 72 Well, I was laughing, but we're supposed to impress a professor here. So I'm trying to bring stuff up.

Speaker 121 But before you go and do something,

Speaker 1 or you say something that you really shouldn't say, it'll give you, you know, be like, look,

Speaker 1 if I say something and I know I'm going to have the repercussions of my nose growing an eighth of an inch, and I'll be caught.

Speaker 1 So you also be able to see like everybody around you could be friends, family, or whatever, be like, man, look, his nose is growing.

Speaker 21 Right.

Speaker 72 I think that my only shortcoming would be like the other night at New Year's Eve, as people, like, if you were to talk to somebody and act like you were interested, is that a lie or no?

Speaker 72 Because if someone's making small talk with you and you're nodding your head acting like you're really engaged with them,

Speaker 102 gotcha.

Speaker 72 Okay, so I'd be all right then because I don't think I'd be capable of feigning interest in what a lot of people say to me.

Speaker 1 Could have people out there with telephone poles too for noses.

Speaker 43 What is true?

Speaker 93 I'd have to walk around with a chain so I'll.

Speaker 40 Oh.

Speaker 23 Wow.

Speaker 13 Well done.

Speaker 13 It wasn't as humorous as it ought to be. It's actually very well thought out.

Speaker 106 Very pressed. Educational.

Speaker 40 Talking to a professor.

Speaker 72 It'll impress the professor.

Speaker 68 What do you say, teach?

Speaker 8 I would love to see a video of Sunday Jeff giving his theories on that just randomly to someone tomorrow.

Speaker 79 Look at them all.

Speaker 120 you know i'm speaking our sodas are on her face now

Speaker 88 frank did you notice eye contact

Speaker 13 by the lance you must be oh no you don't take a lot of you don't deal with a lot of people lying to you or telling you

Speaker 33 well i'm a welfare caseworker too so yes

Speaker 98 i deal with those guys um

Speaker 106 I mean, the argument was thought out, but I don't think you thought far enough, and maybe Frank will agree, maybe not.

Speaker 8 But especially like you thought marriages would be saved, but I'm thinking,

Speaker 8 you know, the classic, hey, do I look fat in this dress?

Speaker 12 You're caught either way.

Speaker 106 You either gonna have.

Speaker 13 Your wife has told you the truth.

Speaker 4 She wasn't on the case.

Speaker 100 Is it better to be honest with you?

Speaker 82 On his way to mask.

Speaker 40 They say the five words.

Speaker 42 The true lovers.

Speaker 118 But conversely, maybe she's flattered that you admitted it and grew your nose.

Speaker 72 So were you to teach pre-Kena, you would advocate to people that they should lie to their spouse?

Speaker 121 Well,

Speaker 41 truth.

Speaker 96 He's giving you points, too.

Speaker 111 Frank scores the final yet.

Speaker 49 He advises him to lawyer up.

Speaker 1 I'll take a mulligan on this one.

Speaker 8 But so I thought, you know, maybe you were a little bit optimistic in

Speaker 8 brutal honesty all the time.

Speaker 62 It doesn't have to be brutal, just not lying.

Speaker 8 Arguing with a a judge.

Speaker 76 What's going on here?

Speaker 34 That was well for me the first time.

Speaker 8 I did think it was well presented, so I gave you 30.

Speaker 4 30. Okay,

Speaker 88 30.

Speaker 73 Not bad. It's out of 50, right?

Speaker 15 Yes.

Speaker 13 1, 10, 20, 30, 40, 50.

Speaker 28 I thought it was really compelling.

Speaker 6 Doctor did a great job. It was really thought out.

Speaker 6 I liked

Speaker 84 about

Speaker 6 how you talked about him being a detective and his job will be a lot easier, right?

Speaker 6 46.63.

Speaker 136 Wow.

Speaker 4 Whoa.

Speaker 5 Yeah.

Speaker 6 163 put you over.

Speaker 4 Jesus.

Speaker 13 Mrs. 5.

Speaker 137 I thought it was well thought out, and you interacted very well together.

Speaker 20 And I gave you a 45.

Speaker 20 Nice.

Speaker 13 Out of the so far other scenarios we've given on the professor and presser, which world would you rather live in?

Speaker 29 It's kind of the same. Original with your things

Speaker 36 in your truck.

Speaker 143 No junk on the face.

Speaker 74 until you start having like junk on your face

Speaker 79 sexual diseases on your face.

Speaker 39 All right,

Speaker 39 you're driving up.

Speaker 39 You got Gonnarie on your head.

Speaker 126 I thought it was a hat.

Speaker 77 Like an octopus.

Speaker 86 Did you eat yogurt?

Speaker 9 God almighty.

Speaker 51 Wipe your neck.

Speaker 4 Wipe your neck.

Speaker 63 Right.

Speaker 49 All right.

Speaker 68 So I loved it.

Speaker 133 Troy actually made me want to live in that world.

Speaker 33 He really did.

Speaker 92 I mean, I love the police aspect of it and the questioning

Speaker 84 of suspects.

Speaker 62 Cop drama.

Speaker 133 Well, you know, just.

Speaker 62 Nose cops. Yeah.

Speaker 109 I love a good police statement.

Speaker 5 Yeah.

Speaker 99 And I love.

Speaker 100 Nasal law.

Speaker 92 And I love the idea of how you said it would save marriages or

Speaker 67 maybe

Speaker 8 have no excuses to escape family functions.

Speaker 67 Yeah, well, no, well, they all know the truth anyway.

Speaker 124 And look, this works.

Speaker 99 Telling the truth.

Speaker 80 He works.

Speaker 13 Frank Five really lays it out on Main Street. Yeah.
So this, he could live in a world like this.

Speaker 68 Yeah.

Speaker 62 Cute little. Maybe my nose would be smaller.

Speaker 4 Yeah.

Speaker 88 Cute little button nose on that man.

Speaker 71 45.

Speaker 42 Whoa. 90 points.

Speaker 40 Wow.

Speaker 75 Holy shit, dude.

Speaker 39 Wow.

Speaker 50 I don't know if we can win.

Speaker 27 50, 50.

Speaker 28 And 100.

Speaker 48 50.

Speaker 29 We gotta do it.

Speaker 34 We gotta go for it.

Speaker 122 We gotta use all our podcasts and talent.

Speaker 121 Other than awareness.

Speaker 20 Yeah.

Speaker 14 And fucking

Speaker 8 a couple of Kerry Struggs.

Speaker 33 Yeah, round the gear on which Lodo would have to give him a round number.

Speaker 3 What's the total score over there, get him?

Speaker 14 Yeah, maybe you do a 49.9 type thing.

Speaker 3 346.87.

Speaker 39 Wow.

Speaker 8 So 100, 200, 250. What's our score? Could we even possibly get it?

Speaker 13 You would get it if you got the perfect scores.

Speaker 8 I feel like we got it in us.

Speaker 17 We got it in us.

Speaker 14 I mean, we can.

Speaker 14 Are we going to start?

Speaker 13 Well, you don't know your topic yet.

Speaker 109 Oh, yeah, you do. We do know.

Speaker 39 Yeah, okay.

Speaker 51 That's right.

Speaker 16 Okay.

Speaker 13 What if we lived in a world where men had pouches that a child had to spend the bulk of their first three years in for nourishment and nurturing purposes? Much like Joey's do with kangaroos.

Speaker 13 How would our world and the men who live in it be different?

Speaker 106 Go.

Speaker 85 So the question to us is, how would life be different if men had to carry children for the first three years of their lives?

Speaker 130 There would be way more abortions.

Speaker 34 Oh my God.

Speaker 99 What a better world.

Speaker 15 No traffic.

Speaker 17 Because like, I ain't doing it.

Speaker 56 I'm not doing it either.

Speaker 125 Who the fuck is going to do that?

Speaker 8 It already looks like I'm carrying a kid in my

Speaker 71 ear. Now I really have a real kid in my life.

Speaker 14 Oh, it just ain't happening.

Speaker 44 But I'll tell you what, though, for men, I think overall, it's a better world.

Speaker 8 Yeah, it's definitely a better world because then you don't have to hear the women complaining about everything.

Speaker 14 Well, if you do, you just like, let's say they're complaining and you have like a little kid in you. You can like threaten to reach in and pull it out.

Speaker 103 Like, oh.

Speaker 8 It would die if you took it in?

Speaker 15 Yeah, of course. Straight earrings.

Speaker 100 No, no, no, no.

Speaker 47 It doesn't have to stay in her constantly.

Speaker 30 Yeah.

Speaker 13 It comes out, but like at night, it has to go in there.

Speaker 35 No.

Speaker 10 That doesn't mean we can't threaten to kill it.

Speaker 36 Yeah, of course. That's what I'm saying.

Speaker 14 Because once it comes out of that pouch, it ain't going back in.

Speaker 13 Perfect scores you're trying to get, guys. Yeah.

Speaker 70 That's why I'm not killing Phoenix.

Speaker 18 We're picking it up.

Speaker 2 We're keeping it real.

Speaker 53 We're keeping it real.

Speaker 5 We're keeping it real.

Speaker 36 This is why the people came.

Speaker 13 What about the nurturing aspect? Like, if you lived in fucking Edgar's belly for three, the first three years, how close would you guys be?

Speaker 94 I could barely live in Edgar's house for three years.

Speaker 104 Pouch and daddy's pouch.

Speaker 17 Every time we look up, yeah, he's there.

Speaker 4 Yeah,

Speaker 29 come on, he would have aborted.

Speaker 7 I mean,

Speaker 42 that's the thing.

Speaker 4 I was born.

Speaker 81 You're putting men.

Speaker 77 I don't even sit in here.

Speaker 14 There is, there's no, because there would be no laws to stop it because men make laws that you can't get abortions just by chucking a kid out of your pouch.

Speaker 8 And everyone knows that men make

Speaker 104 murder decisions in this country.

Speaker 15 What are you talking about?

Speaker 13 If you're thrown out of the pouch, the woman gave birth to the baby. Now it's your job to nourish it.

Speaker 24 And my job and nourish it in your pouch.

Speaker 94 No, not in this pouch.

Speaker 129 Hey,

Speaker 13 my body, my choice, man.

Speaker 56 My body, my choice.

Speaker 96 That's it, man.

Speaker 72 You can't force me to carry around the kid.

Speaker 15 Yeah, I know.

Speaker 97 A woman's going to make it.

Speaker 14 What are you, a sexist?

Speaker 17 That's not 22. Looking at you in the face.

Speaker 40 That's not the world.

Speaker 54 That's not 2K19.

Speaker 14 No, sir.

Speaker 62 Make prisoners carry the baby.

Speaker 31 Spoken like two great people.

Speaker 21 The way the world would be different is we would either abort the children, or if those children happened to be born, we would then murder them.

Speaker 103 Yeah.

Speaker 110 And it would be awesome. Yeah.

Speaker 109 And we would be free of responsibility.

Speaker 46 No, Billy.

Speaker 144 You guys would be in jail, though.

Speaker 13 And then who knows what will be happening to your pouches in jail?

Speaker 24 I'm not saying that the kid isn't coming out of his pouch. He's dead.
He's still dead.

Speaker 2 That's where I hide the button.

Speaker 128 Ultimately, I couldn't get it in my clothes.

Speaker 7 So I made myself three years.

Speaker 19 That's pretty gross.

Speaker 54 Has anybody seen Little Baby Brian?

Speaker 110 Did you smell Brian's pouch?

Speaker 4 Brian's pouch smells gross.

Speaker 102 He's got a douche out that pouch.

Speaker 53 You wouldn't need a fanny pack anymore.

Speaker 113 It would be great.

Speaker 13 I always thought you'd get into a little bit more like how your relationships with your own fathers would have been different, though. How much closer you guys would have been.

Speaker 13 Like, the bond would have been unbreakable.

Speaker 62 Maybe you should have skewed it that way in the beginning.

Speaker 5 I would have given it to somebody else.

Speaker 111 Rather than in general, how would would things be different?

Speaker 118 How would your relationships be different?

Speaker 8 Yeah, he would have looked down at me and be like, I love you.

Speaker 94 Well, the shade under that nose.

Speaker 13 But you know, maybe it would also be like a status thing. Like, you could gussy up your pouch, you know, have a little like bedazzle.

Speaker 40 Put a home entertainment system in there,

Speaker 34 DBD player.

Speaker 88 Yeah, man.

Speaker 5 A little mini bar. That's all.

Speaker 111 Sleech line.

Speaker 13 I did not expect you guys to go so dark.

Speaker 4 Who are you telling me?

Speaker 70 How long are you?

Speaker 118 Seriously, the man who is blending in with the background looks like a floating head you didn't think could get dark.

Speaker 14 Sincerity is so very important. You can't say that wasn't sincere.

Speaker 13 But you got to know your judges.

Speaker 14 No, I got to entertain my judges.

Speaker 72 Well, judges, lest you be judged.

Speaker 72 Walk, can I just point something out? While they were talking, I looked over, I noticed mid-argument, before they even finished, Father Lance was so impressed. Mid-argument he wrote down.

Speaker 44 That's the case.

Speaker 40 bad.

Speaker 56 No, no.

Speaker 8 I could have sworn you were going to say that.

Speaker 5 Watch out.

Speaker 121 Because the argument sold me

Speaker 121 right into it.

Speaker 33 Because, yeah, we would be.

Speaker 13 How long into the little mini pod did you write that score down? Halfway in?

Speaker 51 About halfway. Yeah.

Speaker 104 No matter what they said, was it going to swipe?

Speaker 72 Father Lance was so impressed with the talk of abortion and child murder.

Speaker 18 They're critical.

Speaker 118 Troy, you sure you didn't get an online banking alert?

Speaker 84 The fact that such a world would ensure a

Speaker 58 noses grow.

Speaker 33 He just wants to make sure he's 50.

Speaker 124 Way to buy that on the bread, Fatherland.

Speaker 17 Yeah,

Speaker 102 that's funny.

Speaker 24 And he's already writing a score.

Speaker 14 And I'm like, wow, that's a fucking, that's why I listen to a podcast.

Speaker 100 You ain't getting that on NBC.

Speaker 5 You ain't getting that on AMC.

Speaker 109 Fucking definitely getting that on True TV.

Speaker 127 That's why you would listen to a fucking podcast.

Speaker 119 Spiking babies from your own stomach pouch if your audio right now were to get isolated yeah put online for yeah the ij lance

Speaker 5 apologize

Speaker 134 better be more

Speaker 14 people think that i was actually like having a stroke or something like that

Speaker 64 they'd be like did he just say like spike a baby from a stomach pouch

Speaker 14 i bet you we get spike in listenership

Speaker 4 people be like oh yeah

Speaker 13 i mean oh did you hear about that pop and they talk about spiking babies yeah listen now i know you guys are not happy with that score that Father Lance just gave. You could tell that that's

Speaker 13 not a real score.

Speaker 14 Don't take that from us.

Speaker 13 That's really not an accurate scoring, I would not think, right?

Speaker 22 You know,

Speaker 32 I'm happy with it. Pinocchio.

Speaker 111 Are you saying to throw his score out?

Speaker 13 But even more upsetting than I would think Mike and Ming are, you guys who have a chance to win this.

Speaker 96 No, I'm not upset.

Speaker 72 Like, I was just astounded by that.

Speaker 5 I don't care. The priest is really to the abortion of her.

Speaker 75 Well, it's been because.

Speaker 67 Well, when in Rome.

Speaker 33 Like I said, they're being honest, that world, men aren't going to, listen,

Speaker 33 the work I do, yeah, men are gone, the women are taking care of the kids.

Speaker 32 So, yeah, there's no way men are carrying kids around.

Speaker 67 I think right now he's not going to be able to do that.

Speaker 56 But I think they're not going to be able to do that.

Speaker 96 Why is he going to do this?

Speaker 53 He's in the lead.

Speaker 64 They have more leeway.

Speaker 4 Mother Lance is this like hot talk.

Speaker 4 I'm just a merchant.

Speaker 7 That's hot talk.

Speaker 13 But I don't think that you guys realize, though, that from the dawn of time, this is the way it was. So you're going on this like guys would never do that.

Speaker 13 Instead of thinking, like guys have always done that, this is no other.

Speaker 14 You do your podcast

Speaker 125 considering that angle.

Speaker 14 We just started as boring and not entertaining for anyone.

Speaker 14 We're goddamn masters over here.

Speaker 44 We fucking 50, we earned that 50.

Speaker 13 Okay, well,

Speaker 105 great job, Carter.

Speaker 13 Is that really your final score? Yes. You really want to go down on record as giving out a freaking screen?

Speaker 20 Cowell.

Speaker 59 We see Chris LeBlanc Cowble.

Speaker 5 Jesus. Seriously?

Speaker 24 Are you sure?

Speaker 13 It's just hard to have any credibility as a Walt Lannon son when the judges are obviously in the tank.

Speaker 96 They're not in the tank.

Speaker 110 Are you really sure you want to give him 50 points?

Speaker 14 I stand by that podcast.

Speaker 9 That was one of our best.

Speaker 13 It was a good podcast, but

Speaker 13 to express a judge, though, I mean, that's

Speaker 13 it would be hard to connect.

Speaker 62 Would you

Speaker 121 have an unbiased, an unbiased

Speaker 134 over there scratching out the 50 he's not going to be able to do that?

Speaker 13 I mean, Ming has every right to just get up right now and just leave and storm out.

Speaker 42 He fucking

Speaker 13 don't ads on the table.

Speaker 7 He might as well

Speaker 4 have branding rights.

Speaker 47 What the fuck is he still here?

Speaker 53 What else is new?

Speaker 13 He was robbed of major points tonight. For what reason?

Speaker 38 For agreeing with everything Mike said. So what you're saying is

Speaker 87 that's why I fucking lost.

Speaker 3 It's not true.

Speaker 83 If there had been a rap battle, you would have won.

Speaker 14 If they had talked about spiking one baby, they would have gotten better points. I promise you that.

Speaker 30 I thought this was like a dream world that they painted because I never was so excited for mass abortions before in my life.

Speaker 5 Anything that

Speaker 88 helps Mike commute out every day going up to Manhattan?

Speaker 14 That was one of my points.

Speaker 113 Thank you. And for that?

Speaker 47 Sloba!

Speaker 104 Mass abortions.

Speaker 43 Woo!

Speaker 99 Yes.

Speaker 121 But you're a father.

Speaker 7 You would have your child.

Speaker 4 Yeah, because he has to be.

Speaker 30 But if you had a pouch,

Speaker 30 are you saying you might rethink starting a family because you have a pouch?

Speaker 13 If I had a pouch, I'm just saying, I don't know.

Speaker 5 It's 50-50.

Speaker 30 Wow. 50.

Speaker 64 Chris LeDondo.

Speaker 13 Your child was like, Daddy was on a podcast.

Speaker 50 I got to listen to you.

Speaker 4 I'm about to 49.963.

Speaker 30 No, no. no.

Speaker 4 I'm just saying

Speaker 102 there's only 50% chance, only 50% chance of spiking.

Speaker 70 I've been saying

Speaker 121 it.

Speaker 99 I'm kangaroo.

Speaker 70 Well, I would, I know.

Speaker 122 Those are good odds.

Speaker 102 They call those even odds.

Speaker 97 I'm just saying,

Speaker 97 you don't understand the fucking traffic I go through every day.

Speaker 111 Do you really believe that from the dawn of time?

Speaker 141 Me, but other people will be inclined to be aware of that.

Speaker 104 I'm not saying that we're so inclined.

Speaker 13 We as a sex remember a time when we didn't have pouches that's just the way it was since man walked out of the well since God put man on the

Speaker 7 platform

Speaker 20 had a pouch.

Speaker 81 So we didn't know any better.

Speaker 13 So why would all of a sudden we'd be so so prone to be like, no, no kids can't do it.

Speaker 71 They would have been stuck in the battery tunnel for like two hours, like an hour and a half to go fucking five feet.

Speaker 8 Because they crawled out of the primordial soup, right? And then eventually got to a point where they're driving cars and they're like, it didn't used to be like this.

Speaker 23 I was just crawling around.

Speaker 8 Now I've got, it takes me two hours to get somewhere it should take me 15 minutes.

Speaker 35 God,

Speaker 17 somebody who's just spike fetuses.

Speaker 3 Crystal Lagongo, baby killer.

Speaker 13 Yeah, all right. So, what was the score?

Speaker 51 50, you said 50.

Speaker 113 Woo! Beautiful.

Speaker 37 25.

Speaker 13 If you give out a perfect score here,

Speaker 13 I think the rule is just.

Speaker 14 Don't, don't, just let her give her a score first.

Speaker 75 Go with your heart.

Speaker 118 She wrote it down already. She can't scratch it out.

Speaker 7 Oh!

Speaker 7 Oh, yeah!

Speaker 7 Oh, yeah!

Speaker 128 Golden Palace 2!

Speaker 118 Go to the breaking of man.

Speaker 11 I mean,

Speaker 39 when you're doing that, Rick Flanner

Speaker 13 essentially makes a Walt Flanner in some productions productions have no integrity.

Speaker 5 It's all a shame.

Speaker 137 No, I will say that.

Speaker 116 I would have done just the entertainment alone.

Speaker 16 Just they were entertaining. I'm not saying that.

Speaker 13 How often in your entertainment that you digest, do you laugh or

Speaker 72 knee slap when people are talking about

Speaker 28 spiking babies?

Speaker 8 Rarely, which is why it's such a great title.

Speaker 119 It's how good it is.

Speaker 76 I'm not saying I agree with that.

Speaker 60 I'm just saying it was entertaining. Boom.

Speaker 58 Speechless.

Speaker 31 I'd just like to point out that this is your podcast.

Speaker 18 I just

Speaker 13 never would have dreamed that Frank, so everything's riding on you.

Speaker 25 You know what?

Speaker 27 Everybody here is a fucking sellout.

Speaker 30 Including Frank.

Speaker 25 And it's going to be a long ride home.

Speaker 19 Oh, boy.

Speaker 99 I can't believe it. I can't believe it.

Speaker 104 There's one integral man.

Speaker 13 There's still one man with intestinal fortitude out there. Save humanity, Frank.

Speaker 104 Give your smallest nose.

Speaker 8 Before you do, think about having a kid in your fucking pouch and how much sense we made.

Speaker 104 Being smaller than that. But also think about a world where, like, dudes, dudes...

Speaker 13 Do anything to make themselves look good, right? You know, bodybuild.

Speaker 109 It's like a donut. You're escalating.

Speaker 30 So we as

Speaker 29 a pouch is like

Speaker 13 the thing that turned on women.

Speaker 26 I know we would.

Speaker 111 But that's just a pouch.

Speaker 118 It doesn't mean that there's a kid inside.

Speaker 13 Right, but we would do other things with our pouches, probably. We do other things to oppress the ladies with our pouches.

Speaker 14 Why don't you just bedazzle your asshole and get this over with you?

Speaker 88 Like to let the man give me his.

Speaker 133 I did like the term daddy pouch.

Speaker 71 That was kind of funny.

Speaker 141 I thought they did a really, really good job. Not enough for a 50, but I gave them a 49.

Speaker 5 Yeah. 49.

Speaker 31 I stand behind my Frank Cisla.

Speaker 4 That is

Speaker 8 a panel of judges who knows what they're talking about.

Speaker 25 Yeah, look at that. Obviously.
Champions.

Speaker 75 Giddam's brains.

Speaker 79 Champion judges.

Speaker 30 Do we know?

Speaker 13 Do we have a final score here, Giddam? For a team?

Speaker 32 You just got to carry the one.

Speaker 92 You got to wait.

Speaker 39 If we win,

Speaker 8 if we win, I would like to extend the bragging race to all the good judges.

Speaker 26 I would feel like

Speaker 13 this was a bigger scandal than the Black Sox of the

Speaker 29 1920s.

Speaker 104 You guys down there are going to get wrong.

Speaker 70 We got our articles.

Speaker 13 If I think what's going to happen is going to happen right here when I hear the final score.

Speaker 120 All right.

Speaker 111 Before I reveal the final score, I will say

Speaker 118 the difference between winning and losing is.315 points.

Speaker 118 So we have Jeff and Troy with 346.87,

Speaker 118 but with 347.185,

Speaker 18 TTEST

Speaker 40 is the winner.

Speaker 2 Unbelievable.

Speaker 2 Jeff, some of our points. Wow.

Speaker 14 Who would have known we would have won a podcast and contest judged by fans of our podcast?

Speaker 37 Who would have put that together?

Speaker 84 And we got to brag.

Speaker 8 Wow.

Speaker 21 Iceland Comics does not.

Speaker 20 Wow.

Speaker 13 So I think now, I mean, you guys may be now number three in the biggest grudge match in pod today.

Speaker 13 Jeff and Troy may jump up to number two.

Speaker 29 They're two contenders.

Speaker 3 It would appear.

Speaker 17 Who appears if you're upset anymore?

Speaker 19 You're out of the grudge match.

Speaker 20 Holy shit.

Speaker 39 And you never in the first place.

Speaker 13 Jeff, we got a press conference here. That's what a losing team does.
They go out first, and after two.

Speaker 29 What do you think happened tonight?

Speaker 4 We're just going to rock.

Speaker 72 We're just good with his match.

Speaker 4 Yeah.

Speaker 13 I mean, I think, Father Lance, you did the math too on your calculator, right? Is get him correct? Yes, 347.

Speaker 104 Accurate score, Charlie. If you're going to lose to somebody, it's got to be them.

Speaker 13 You're showing again the good losers like when you tweeted your apology.

Speaker 72 Exactly.

Speaker 13 I know you got a little bit more venom in you than that.

Speaker 83 Yeah, you got your, it's their podcast.

Speaker 1 your special anniversary.

Speaker 20 No, point one.

Speaker 47 400.1.

Speaker 8 All I'm thinking about is how to get my watch as tight, if not tight, like

Speaker 100 that's pretty tight, too.

Speaker 28 Crazy, look at that.

Speaker 29 I think that's what cuts the circulation to their brains.

Speaker 13 Mike and Mink, thank you guys for showing up.

Speaker 5 Oh, thank you.

Speaker 13 I know you guys take it. Talking about it.

Speaker 31 Actually, I think Jeff's more like that fish is really not agreeing with me.

Speaker 55 Can we get out of here?

Speaker 13 And you're still number three in the

Speaker 70 we're not number two anymore.

Speaker 37 At least we're not number two. First to lose.

Speaker 106 Bronze by default.

Speaker 3 Guys, it sucks being number two, and we would know.

Speaker 3 Number two, pretty much all the time.

Speaker 13 Congratulations to the winners.

Speaker 14 Thank you. I honestly didn't think we were going to do it.

Speaker 8 I don't think so either, but the judges, they're no good.

Speaker 14 They saw a talent.

Speaker 44 They're impressed. Yeah, yeah.

Speaker 13 But thank you to all the judges. Thank you.

Speaker 28 Thank you. Thank you.

Speaker 12 Frank, Mrs. Five.

Speaker 13 Troy, Jeff, thank you.

Speaker 14 Thanks, guys.

Speaker 95 Thanks, guys. Thank you.

Speaker 84 Thank you, Walt.

Speaker 40 Everybody out there, TV Lamps.

Speaker 14 Walt, Planet Sun.

Speaker 28 What a production.

Speaker 14 Yeah, you guys really was like

Speaker 14 a hell of a ride that you guys put together.

Speaker 13 Yeah, we didn't even do any elephant challenges, but that's for Negro. Save them.

Speaker 39 Yeah, dyslexia.

Speaker 13 I didn't want to do it. I retired dyslexia.

Speaker 13 I want to bring it out many, many years from now. And when it comes back out, it'll be special again.

Speaker 76 Like it was the first time.

Speaker 85 Greater chance of them having a stroke.

Speaker 24 That's for sure.

Speaker 33 And we want to say thank you to everyone who listens and has listened and our crew many years oh my god definitely

Speaker 13 oh my god we got a major crew victor chuck rupp steve you got that

Speaker 13 starge i mean there's so many people kevin you know

Speaker 13 like pushing us to do a podcast button that on the network for all these episodes yeah me for being suicidal so we started in the first place

Speaker 118 whatever brain damage you all had to invite me in

Speaker 14 you weren't invited yeah

Speaker 34 You pushed your way in.

Speaker 8 You hijacked the URL and then stayed in.

Speaker 8 So that would be it. So

Speaker 8 thanks to everyone.

Speaker 13 I'm Steve Dave.

Speaker 146 Hey, Tom Brady.

Speaker 146 We've been seeing each other for a while now, and I know you're a multi-millionaire and five-time Super Bowl champion.

Speaker 146 And even without any of that, you're a super hot fuckable 10 by anyone's standards, but

Speaker 146 there's someone else.

Speaker 146 Someone new.

Speaker 146 A plaunchy middle-aged Jewish fellow who looks like he could be my dad. And you have something besides me in common.
She works on Sundays, too.

Speaker 135 It's finally down to just two. Tommy B and you know who.

Speaker 146 So what's a girl like me to do? When she's sleeping with Tom Brady, but she's fucking you.

Speaker 13 About between Mr.

Speaker 135 Five Rings, first the man with a magic ding-a-ling.

Speaker 146 You know, I wanna lick him. I'm the cop, ding-dong.
But first, be my counter joint while I hit this bomb.

Speaker 135 Hooked on that glass pipe.

Speaker 146 Yeah, you know how I do. Gets me stupid crazy.
I passed it to you.

Speaker 135 Another record falls as you drop back to pass.

Speaker 146 Fuck me from behind while we were pranking in bass. Ooh, I'm blasted with that bowl's complete.
Now I'm like Tommy who shaking that ass to the beach.

Speaker 146 Jeff shoots more than three splooches because he loves to fuck.

Speaker 135 Here comes my curly face. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Speaker 135 Cup that ass, yo. That ass, yo.

Speaker 135 Oldness, dick, yo. dick, yo.

Speaker 144 Perverts and sickles, and you're on all four.

Speaker 135 That pink tackle.

Speaker 145 Tackle, tackle.

Speaker 135 Me go el loco.

Speaker 146 Smoke myself stupid like that simple fuck goop.

Speaker 135 Looked on that glass pipe, so no need to roof it.

Speaker 146 Hello?

Speaker 146 No, I'm sorry, Tom. I can't find a Maui with you this weekend.
Jeff got us tickets to see Frozen on ice at the Metal Lands.

Speaker 135 All I want to do is fucking, fucking, fuck.

Speaker 146 And flutter, flutter, flutter while I sup, sup suck you hot like Sodom and Gomorrah And I got cotton mouth, so let's go find water Baby lift up that skirt, let me munch Tunk surf my top go like it's your Sunday lunch Lock the door close the curtain I dick in bronze Unlike Tom, you got me squirting Shaggy balls image I want Brady's balls too So nasty stuff a noise Where are you while we screw?

Speaker 146 Buried deep in some hole My pussy's like a colleague's mansion.

Speaker 146 It's cluttered and I'll use it to smother you like Giddam got mothered While this legend's chin is buried deep Watching it all from a closet Creep, you got some nerve, you perf, it don't stop.

Speaker 135 About to pop this club now reserves.

Speaker 146 Cushion deposits dropped.

Speaker 135 Up that ass, yo.

Speaker 135 Oh,

Speaker 135 nick, yo.

Speaker 144 Perfect and sickle.

Speaker 144 And you're on all fours of the style.

Speaker 2 Pluto, Pluto.

Speaker 135 That pink tackle.

Speaker 135 He go el loco. Loco.

Speaker 146 Smoke myself stupid like that simple fuck goofy.

Speaker 135 Looked on that glass pipe, so no need to roofy. Bitches come so hard I need a robot.
Now step back and recognize the real motherfucking goat.

Speaker 146 Tom Brady, I'm so sorry, baby. But Rockin' Jeff's cop's been driving me crazy and I'm all mixed up.

Speaker 135 Hooked on that glass pipe.

Speaker 146 And high on this thick brick, that's exactly my type. Tom, I wish I could explain.
Why Sunday sick dip tricks drive me insane?

Speaker 13 Can't come without a little pain.

Speaker 135 Such a freak shit.

Speaker 146 I call all the patriots to bullish.

Speaker 146 And I'm so high, I don't know where the fuck I am. Wish I could try to be less of a horsey.
Got a respectful lady, not a stock with a Z.

Speaker 144 Cause when Tommy's scarf, you know where I'ma go.

Speaker 135 I got where I'ma take a pull. Which reminds me, Jeff.

Speaker 146 I think I might be better with your head under the cask.

Speaker 135 God got forgiven, gams.

Speaker 135 God got forgiven, games. God

Speaker 135 got

Speaker 135 games.

Speaker 146 I'm sorry, God.

Speaker 135 God got forgiven, games.

Speaker 135 God got forgiven, games.

Speaker 146 Jeff is

Speaker 135 and cuckoo, cuckoo, cuckoo, cuckoo for hair clear clean.

Speaker 147 This has been a production of Smodco Internet Radio, sir only at Smodcast.com.