#399: WrestleRama

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All right, let's roll episode 399.

Like, you can still kiss them on the lips.

let's just not do it on film.

What bothers me about this little fucking asshole?

I'm sure fuck Fatherland was going.

Tom Brady is indeed a cheater.

Tell them, Steve, Dave.

Hello, and welcome to this week's edition of Tell him Steve Dave number 399.

Waltz here.

And no, Q did not just finish a marathon.

It's get him.

Not at all.

Some of that heavy breathing.

Yeah.

Were you an ace prank like prank caller when you were young?

No.

Actually, yeah, I would,

I dialed 800 numbers a lot.

Like, I would just sit there, just dial 1-800, just pick random numbers.

Even then, he's frugal, so it doesn't cost him any money.

Oh, no, I racked up a huge amount of bills once when I was a kid.

It was one of those dial-a-Santa lines where you would dial up and talk to Santa, or Santa would tell you its story.

And they'd say it's like, what, $3 for the first minute?

So in my head, I thought, if I only am on the phone for 59 seconds, that doesn't count as a minute.

So

I'll cheat the system.

And then my father got a huge bill for like $600.

$148, everyone.

Oh, yeah.

I don't know the way the phone works.

I don't know how the phone works.

Well, I do know how the phone works.

It said the first minute.

So I said, if I only am on the phone for like 55 seconds or 59 seconds, it doesn't count as a minute.

So I shouldn't be charged.

I got you.

So I was going to save this for Puck Nuts, but since Pucknuts won't be out for a while because it's all Super Bowl stuff,

what's going on with your guy?

Which guy?

Your Tom Brady guy.

What do you mean, what's going on with him?

He's in his record-setting

ninth Super Bowl?

That's the good news.

What's the bad news?

What's the bad news about that?

Bad news is

a boy's little boy science fair concluded that he was a cheater.

and

he also got somebody fired a fan of another team that probably Tom Brady beat and embarrassed.

So he's probably like trying to find some sort of like clever way to

is he basing it off of the fact that he supposedly ordered the balls to be deflated?

He's 10, this kid.

His name is Ace Davis.

What state is he from?

Kentucky.

He set out to prove that one of the most successful quarterbacks of all time was in fact a cheater.

I hate Tom Tom Brady.

He's been accused of cheating before, and I want him to get caught.

And like, here's his whole science.

Okay, do you know?

Did you do any investigation on the story?

Do you know what his

biggest

theories?

What was the most valid theory on to why he would make this claim?

It was, of course, involving Deflate Gate.

He said that the Patriots were found guilty of doctoring a football, thus losing a million and future draft picks.

Tom Brady is indeed a cheater.

That is complete and utter bullshit.

Yeah, I mean, if you're going to blame him for it, then you would have to blame the whole organization down to like the guy who cleans the toilets.

They did blame your organization.

Yeah, to the Patriots, sorry.

That's why they didn't find Tom Brady a million.

They find

the organization.

And they lost draft picks.

You can't just single him out, though, and say he's the cheater if they're finding the whole team.

You know what, though?

You know what really, like,

what bothers me about this little fucking asshole

is like you're not worried about all the fucking

people on steroids.

You're not worried about that.

You're not worried about a guy at, you know, that's lifting 10 times more than he should be able to because he's on steroids, which factors way more into than if like, if there's like

an ounce of a of a weight of a, what's it called?

The what do you weigh

PSI?

PSI.

But I mean, why will I go after Tom Brady when it's been known that Belichick himself is is the cheater?

I mean, wasn't he taking photographs?

Well, there can be more than one cheater, right?

But I think he, if anyone, is indicative of cheating in the organization to be the top.

And what about a guy like Aaron Rodgers, who's gone on record and said, I overinflate the ball because

I like it overinflated.

And nobody said a word when he came out and said that.

Well, this could be why.

This is his science project said that

he, his mother, and his sister were throwing five pound, seven pound, and nine pound balls at varying levels of inflation.

And

they measured how far the footballs went, and the under-inflated footballs traveled the furthest, giving him a

competitive advantage.

This is what this 10-year-old

evidence said is based on what him, his mother, and sister threw?

Yeah.

He won the science fair.

It must be true.

Him and the clock kid can go.

That clock kid.

So is he just trolling?

Oh, yeah.

This little guy?

Yeah.

And, of course, it gets picked up by the national media who love to hate on

a little 10-year-old kid doing, you know, he doesn't know any better.

He's just being honest because kids say the darndest things.

Now,

this next Tom Brady story, this may.

I brought this up to you today.

Did you?

Oh, okay.

I don't know.

Yeah, this may divide you two because I know that you want to.

Marry to Harry Potter.

Like, he wants to marry Tom Brady.

Oh, yeah, yeah, that's the actor.

The MAGA hat.

He doesn't like it, Harry Potter.

And it's not even like Tom Brady wears it.

I guess Trump gave him the hat and he's like, I guess I'll put it in my locker.

He shouldn't have put it in his locker.

Well, you said it was, what, two or three years ago?

Divisive.

It was like 2015, it said.

Two or three years ago.

It was during the Atlanta Super Bowl that came out.

That story.

It kind of went away, and now it's back again because Harry Potter brought it up.

Worry about Brexit, asshole.

Meanwhile, there's

Baldimort.

Your fucking country's going down to toilets.

Don't worry about

it.

He's appeared on stage butt-naked.

He's appeared in movies as a white supremacist.

Why does it matter if he's an actor, though?

Why can't he appear as a superintendent?

He's pretending.

What does that do?

So Brady was nice and he's like, okay, someone gave me a hat.

I'll just put it up in my locker.

I'm not going to rock it.

Brady's so smart, though.

I mean, he's smart.

I mean, I bet you his IQ is fucking shatters, 148.

I guarantee it.

I guarantee his IQ is superior to yours, which makes me very disappointed that he didn't realize that he should not have been photographed with that hat in his locker.

He should have had the wherewithal to know, like,

don't give the media

anything to latch on to to cause distractions.

Was he vanilla?

So he wasn't president by that.

It was just a...

He was running.

He was running.

No, he was running.

But I guess.

Well, Kraft is the owner of the Patriots, is friends with

Trump.

And Trump and Brady has gone on record says golfed with Trump.

So he may have given the hat there.

Who knows?

But you got to be smarter, man.

You got to be smarter.

That's why.

Because Harry Potter's going to call you out.

Harry Potter doesn't like what you have in your locker.

It affects him.

I wish I could hang out with Tom Brady and tell him these things.

Just to be that little bit, this fly, just to be the little guy on his

manager on his shoulder and be like, you know what, let's leave the MAGA hat at home.

Yeah, don't you want to play it safe, Tom

If I take everything out of your locker, it's all offensive.

Leave the MAGA hat alone.

I mean, just get rid of that.

Just go and kiss your kid right on the lips.

There you go.

I would have told him that, too.

I would have been like, you can still kiss him on the lips.

Let's just not do it on film.

Yeah, don't do it on camera.

Yeah.

Didn't seem a little more sketchy, but you got to turn the cameras off.

I got to kiss my kid.

Wait a minute.

No, I wish I could be there to just be that little

guy on his shoulder to help him.

He would have absolutely nothing then.

The tabloids would be going crazy if I was his friend.

Like, you became

his guru almost.

Yeah, he has a guru already.

He's a hoagie.

Oh, does he?

He has a guru that people have sued him for being a swami.

Sued the guru?

He's a

snake oil.

He could be a snake oil salesman, they say.

Oh, boy.

I mean, I don't know how you could say that when your fucking client is Tom Brady.

Father Time has just been fucking

curb stomped by Tom Brady.

Right.

And yet this guy is a flim flam, man.

I don't know.

Pedro, I think his name is.

Guerrero or something like that.

But how much are you attributing to

whoever this guru is?

Like, Tom Brady was a winner already.

I don't know.

How long has this guy been around?

Well, I'm talking about

defying Father Time.

I mean, they've been showing

now,

hopefully this, I don't know if this will drop before Super Bowl against the Rams and the Patriots, but they've been showing all the old Super Bowls every night on the NFL network.

I know this sounds crazy,

but Tom Brady looks younger now than he did in his first Super Bowl.

It is really, really strange.

If you were to tell me that, like, when people talk about these reptile, reptilian,

these, these hidden

reptilian creatures that are holographic,

it's complete and utter bullshit until you're like,

until you say what Tom if you said Tom Brady was on because you're like it's so weird because he looks he looks a more

younger I was I don't know what the proper word is but he looks better now than he did you as a rookie yeah do you think he's had uh has any work done or not not plastic surgery but like that derm abrasion or some of that other stuff what's that do it's uh like some chemical steel yeah opens the pores i'll bet you he does that kind of stuff because you know he's got

like a mask like that that that mask you put on and peel off is that considered quote-unquote work?

Uh, no, no, that's maintenance, yeah.

I wouldn't consider that work.

Well, some of them are like they use like a dermabrasion is more that would be considered like a procedure at least.

It's not necessarily, like I said, full plastic surgery, but I'm you know.

Uh, I did look it up.

They said that NFL draftees have to undergo an IQ test, yes, and he scored 126.

126, yes, he's probably smarter.

He's dumber than me.

It says it would, uh, it said that's what he ranks about the same as George W.

Bush in IQ.

Drew Bledsoe, they said he's a 134.

He was smarter than

that's the man that Brady replaced, Drew Bledsoe.

I don't know.

I mean, maybe IQs are

overblown then because.

I think we can all agree on that.

He's taking the wrong test.

Now,

there was a little bit of shade thrown at

old Tom Brady where on the little Chiron beneath his picture or whatever.

What does that mean?

Like the

name underneath.

Tom Brady

Patriots quarterback.

Yes, right.

So there's like a local TV network in Pittsburgh, and underneath his name it says known cheater.

All right.

Tom Brady wasn't happy about it.

Was this

he got this guy fired?

Was this in relation to the kids' story with the science fair?

No.

Okay.

No.

Are you of the belief, Bri, that

you

go to any lengths to achieve your goals?

Even if that means going into gray areas?

Oh, yeah, definitely.

Does Machiavelli like the ends justify the means?

I don't know about that.

I just mean, like, are you, do you,

do you not, like, if you, if you took the little, the ball and you just took a little bit of air out,

I just can't see that

really factoring in.

And

if he got caught and he did it, oh, well.

Oh, well.

Or you start taking away fucking titles from all the fucking people that have really committed crimes.

Right.

And have a crime.

There'll be no titles left.

There'll be no titles left.

Right.

Do you start like you start going in and you start being like, well, that guy, didn't he commit murder and get away with it?

Oh, well he got to strip that super bowl his two super bowl titles away from him

until you until you start going after

people who have really done some heinous shit

then maybe we'll get to tom brady but until then fucking

let the goat fucking pass yeah but i does the murder off the field really let the goat help the the playing of the game do you think do you think

yeah because people are like you know do you think hernandez was like you know i wouldn't have won that that game.

I'm not talking about Hernandez.

Hernandez was a teammate.

Yeah, but he was convicted of murder.

Right.

We're talking about guys

who were definitely thought to have been

in the fucking area where murders were committed and got away with it.

You know?

Yeah, everyone's like, we know he did it.

Like, we know he did it.

We're just kidding.

I mean, yeah, until you start going in and you start taking away people, stripping people of their titles

for committing things that are against the rules and conduct

is definitely one of the rules of the NFL.

If you're willing to go in and be like, okay,

we've got to go in and correct history,

then I'll be like, okay, yeah, take his titles away.

Until then, fucking give it a rest.

Shut the fuck up.

Yeah.

Should he have, I mean, I'm not seeing where Tom Brady had a personal hand in

getting rid of this guy.

No, getting rid of this person who wrote that.

But it's not a reporter.

I think it's whoever's in charge of typing that.

So was it in the New England area, the news?

No, it's in Pittsburgh.

Pittsburgh.

Yeah, so why would he have any poll at a Pittsburgh TV station to get them to get somebody thrown off the air?

I think it's just one of those station.

Wait, what station was that?

Giselle, give me that guy on the line.

Give me the station manager on the line.

I really fail to believe that Tom Brady is studying for a Super Bowl and multiple Super Bowls is worried about some anchor man.

There's his known cheater down there.

You know, people, haters are going to hate, man.

People love to fucking hate on people who achieve.

I would understand.

Here's the thing.

Do you think he should have been fired this guy who wrote No Cheater?

No.

No.

I don't know.

Because this is the Vicksburg area.

That's going to play to all the Steeler fans.

I'm sure Fatherland was going

like he was probably going crazy when he saw that because he's a Steeler fan.

fan.

Yeah, but it brings negative attention to the station.

To the station.

Oh, I don't think so.

Only if people get upset about it.

The Steelers fans are going to be upset by that.

Yeah, it's not the Steelers fans.

It's going to be the Cowboys, or maybe not the Cowboys, the Patriots fan who gets insulted.

Who happens to see a local telecast in Pittsburgh?

It made the news.

I'm sure someone screen capped it, posted it on Instagram or Twitter, and then it started trending.

And then you get these people that go on and they start leaving negative reviews for the Facebook page and everything.

It's just like that restaurant you were talking about the other day that um

no that was on puck nuts that was you know yeah

um this is sports heavy yeah it was yeah yeah well hey man i got more for you you got more all right i like

super bowl stuff uh get him what's your favorite number four

i saw this this morning it's not six times nine plus six plus nine

No 69, baby.

Yeah, 420.

Bronkowski with a very strange

his obsession with it.

They're saying this might be, I heard that might be his last game, as they say this.

This is really, really weird.

This is one of the things, like, again, if I was on Tom Brady's shoulder, like, just hanging out, he let me hang out.

Distance yourself.

But I would have been like, you got to fucking talk to him and tell him to stop saying that joke.

Not only is it not funny, it's going to come back to fucking bite you guys.

Gronk, the guy who hosts those, like, supposedly madcap cruises with all the ladies and everything.

Oh, I didn't hear about that.

Like, Gronk Cruises?

I've I heard my cousins talking about it.

A madcap cruise?

Yes, with Rob Gronkowski?

Yeah.

What?

It's a sanctioned cruise, like an IJ cruise?

I'm not sure.

I guess they just, I mean, almost maybe like what the

Giants did.

You know, going out of the boat with all the ladies and everything.

Okay, so it's

not for the public consumption.

It's a private cruise.

I guess.

Or a big boat trip.

Yeah, what's with the NFL players and getting out to sea and getting busy?

Party cruises.

Like, oh, yeah, Rob Gronkowski's party cruise.

It might be, might have been too crazy to do again.

But But he did kind of get in a little bit of shit.

About the 69 joke.

Yeah, he told the

has he apologized yet?

The 69 joke.

I don't know.

Let's see.

He made a sexually suggestive remark to a female during Super Bowl Media Day.

He says to all the media, you guys know my favorite number.

You know what I'm talking about.

And then he points to a female reporter and says, she knows what number I'm talking about.

Ask her.

That's the answer.

He then tried to break down his answer with a math problem.

I'll give you a math problem.

What?

six times nine?

It's like something a 10-year-old would say.

It's like, it's brilliant almost.

It's so stupid.

It's so retarded.

I got called into my manager's office when I worked at the food store because

I had my mistletoe Christmas hat and someone said something about it.

And I'm like,

I'm waiting for my mistletoe belt buckle to arrive.

And

that is.

He's like, it's a gift for my male manager.

It's 100 times better than Gronkowski's joke.

It really is.

But the best part was

I got called to the manager's office and he sat down.

I had my union rep there.

Imagine how much money is in that office and salary-wise and are wasting on this bullet.

Cartboy's local union, 69.

But for the life of me, I could not get my manager to say, because he's like, he goes, you know what you said.

And I'm like, no, what did I say?

He goes, well, he said, you said mistletoe belt buckle.

We all know what that means.

And I'm like, no, no, what does it mean?

And he refused to say what it means.

What does it mean, though?

I guess I was, it was spent.

What did you want him to say?

What?

Oh, I wanted to say, well, you want people to kiss your penis.

Then I could have gotten off.

Why would you want him to say it?

I was getting in trouble anyway, so it was just like, you know, just to be able to fire him.

I'd find pretext to fire him, just be like, I'm done with this idiot.

What do you think it means?

I'm like, get the fuck out of here.

This is my life, and I got to deal with this shit now, right?

that corner manager.

Well, he didn't have to call me in.

Yeah, you think that's appropriate during fucking store hours at the grocery store?

It was.

A mistletoe belt buckle.

It was about 12 o'clock at night when this happened because we were overnight cashiers.

Oh, so this, okay, so there was no, the public wasn't in the store?

The public was, there was

maybe like one customer in the store.

Did they hear it?

No.

So who heard it?

Another employee.

A dude?

No.

Oh, then yeah.

You should have been fired.

Oh, okay.

Yeah.

She was upset by it.

She should have been arrested.

She was upset by it, huh?

I don't know if she.

Well, you know what?

Here's the truth of it.

If Gidham was like Tom Tatum or Tom Bray.

There's no meeting.

But since Gidham is Giddam,

there's an emergency meeting called.

Yeah, I hope this Dronkowski thing doesn't blow up and become a distraction for the guys now because it's really foolish on his part to even partake in such ridiculously stupid things to like cause a distraction.

All it does is just cause a distraction and cause focus to be placed

on things that are so meaningless at this point.

You know, in the next four days,

all that matters is one thing.

So you should not be fucking making jokes about this.

They're required to be there for the press day.

Yeah, but they're not required to fucking tell humorous jokes or fucking dirty jokes.

Or unhumorous jokes.

Okay?

They're not required.

They're required.

Like Bill Belishek does his interviews.

It's complete and utter vanilla.

vanilla.

Was that for the Gronk Cruz?

This is, yeah, I mean,

I feel like that's the kind of guy, like, that's the guy that makes the 69 joke

repeatedly.

Yeah.

It got a laugh once, and the person probably was like, oh my god, it's Rob Bronkuska should laugh.

In the article I read, apparently he said the joke

at the Daytona 500 on the air, too.

So

this is like his go-to.

He's like, oh, shit, I'm in a pinch.

I'm big buttons.

Let's crack out the A material.

Yeah, I don't know why.

I don't know why he would go off

script on that.

That really, really is foolish on his part.

I hope that.

And people are calling for Goodell to suspend him.

To suspend him for saying that?

Yeah.

I mean, do you, I mean, and in this era, in this world, in this climate, though,

I mean, I could see it happening.

I could see it happening.

He said it to a female reporter.

So, motherfucker, you're so stupid.

Why are you taking a chance?

But you know what's weird about it too is that like, let's say it becomes a bigger deal than it needs to be, right?

Like he should have said he knows what I'm talking about.

Just like pointed at a random male reporter.

Like,

not that like...

Does that make it any better?

A male reporter is spinning.

But you know what?

Yes, it does fucking make it better.

In this fucking climate, yes, it makes it better because a guy's probably not going to care that much.

But a woman, yeah.

Like you're asking for trouble.

And what's going to happen is maybe he'll get suspended and not play the fucking Super Bowl because of the fucking

joke.

It's crazy that he would take that chance because you don't know.

Goodell is a joke.

Goodell is a joke, but boy, man, with enough heat in the next couple of days, could he make a crazy decision to sit him for this game?

It would be.

I mean,

almost the whole world would fucking would celebrate because they hate the Patriots.

But my God, would that be a crazy and

insane decision to make?

I'm not sure if the public, that might might be just a little too far of taking him out of the Super Bowl.

Yeah, what about a monetary fine then?

Monetary fine, or if he has a million dollars, monetary fine to

a woman's charity.

I'm sure that would be acceptable.

Just a fucking shakedown, get him.

Well, a blown call at the end of a game causes all this uproar.

Pilling somebody, you know, essentially important to the team.

And, you know,

I don't think that would be in his best interest to.

Cadell?

Yeah.

if he cares at all yeah but I mean but if the if the heat if the heat gets turned up the heat I think if he if you if you give him a punitive fine um or just get him to apologize because he here's the thing he can apologize

and everyone will be like all right he's been duly chastised now he's sorry he's not sorry at all in fact none of these people that everyone forces to apologize are sorry they they're not thinking

well they're sorry they got different

shit went and hit the fan.

That's all they're sorry about.

But they are now sorry that something else didn't come up in the midst of

I've had to issue apologies for things I said on TSD.

So I know.

And I can say without a doubt, though, that I legitimately was sorry.

I didn't, you know, that I felt horrible and I felt bad that you were not.

What was something that you said, though?

Well, I mean, the thing before comic bookmen started when I said I didn't think women were funny.

Oh, right.

I had to apologize for that.

Who'd you apologize to?

The world.

Oh, did you?

Yeah.

But yeah, that's who expects the apology these days.

It's not the person that's been slighted.

Yeah, and you know what?

Most of the time, it's like, like this female reporter, she won't be the one to be like, I demand an apology because she knows everyone's going to fucking do it for her because they just want to pile on.

And this person that, like, I'd never heard of before, suddenly everyone, like, his name is on the tip of everyone's tongue.

Right.

But if I'm like Gronk, right?

I'm not saying I am.

But

if he was.

But

he would think, and

he would be sorry for that comment, just like I was, because when you think about it, you're like, how there was plenty of female comedians and actresses who have made me laugh throughout my whole life.

So for me to make that statement was legitimately

wrong.

I was completely and utterly wrong.

Yeah.

Yeah.

When I thought about it, and I was like, holy shit.

When I think about, I mean, Elaine Boosler.

Christy Alley.

Laverne and Shirley.

I mean, the list goes on and on.

Betty White.

Did she ever make you laugh?

Mary Tyler Moore.

Yeah.

Mary Tyler Moore.

Doris Day.

I mean, there's so many.

Daughter from Happy Days.

Mom to me.

Marin Moran.

She made me laugh at that.

Shortcake.

Shortcake.

Well, maybe, I mean,

now you're going on.

So this is what happens.

People become too.

They get too into it.

They're like, you know what?

I'm also sorry for this and this.

Got fat and Shelly Long, too.

Shelly Long.

I don't want to say Christy Alley without saying Shelly Long.

Shelly Long.

Sorry.

Rhea Perlman.

That's funny.

And when you bring Fat News, and Christy Alley, one of my favorite series ever was Fat Actress.

That

was pretty good.

You told me that.

Really good.

Really great show.

I wish it had lasted longer, but I really thought

that was a very

Larry David-esque TV show that she was in.

Yeah.

I thought she was really good.

Like unscripted.

Yeah, it felt like an unscripted Curb Your Enthusiasm-like show, and she was awesome in it.

Yeah.

We got fat news?

We do.

I don't know if you saw this get him.

You probably see all this shit that I talk about.

But this is a woman on a plane.

I saw the bumper for this on Channel 2 last night, but I never actually watched the story.

Yeah, an unhinged woman, and I'll let you decide.

An unhinged woman was kicked off a recent United Airlines for going on a fat-shaming Tyra tirade about her two seatmates, calling people on either side of her two big pigs.

Oh my goodness, I don't know what I'm going to do for the next four hours.

Blah, blah, blah.

They're squishing me.

She says a whole bunch of stuff.

So finally, the woman

says, bitch, please, okay?

And then they start going back and forth.

And I thought this was interesting.

Then

the big lady says, excuse me, can you find another seat?

Because I will not be verbally abused by this bitch or anyone else.

So she's verbally abusing somebody else.

She says she doesn't want to be verbally abused.

So the woman eventually is tossed from the flight.

And here's the video.

So there's the lady.

You can kind of see her.

She's chewing.

She's chewing.

Now she's the middle passenger?

She's the middle passenger.

Okay, so she's the one complaining about the people on the two sides of her.

Right.

So why is she even recording?

Which I know

Somebody else is recording, I think, because they've already said something.

Okay.

But here

she is.

She's telling that she's talking to the flight attendant.

Okay, so now you see that

the big guy.

Now, from what I understand,

she's unhappy that there are two very big people on either side of her.

Which

I've heard is a common tactic is if you if you're booking a flight, book the aisle and window seat because people are less likely sometimes to take that middle seat.

And it's a good way to get yourself extra room.

I've heard, you know, online.

But in the case that that doesn't happen.

Yeah, like, because, you know, if there's standby flights and they have to fill the seats.

Come on.

I mean, these people are like 400 pounds.

And from what I understand, they're husband and wife.

So they purposely did not take the middle seat.

If you're that fat, you should buy the middle seat.

You don't, you have no right to spill into other people's.

Well, do they still have those?

I hate to call up old things, but do they still have that rule that, like, you know, you have to, you do have to get that extra seat?

I don't know.

Okay.

But what I don't understand is why people think that they can talk like this to other people, though.

That's the thing.

That's.

Why are people like, what is wrong with this lady speaking so

horribly rude and nasty and just like just repugnant?

Why do people think they could talk to other people like that?

Well, they can't, but she got kicked off.

I think it's the PC culture, though.

I don't mean PC politically correct.

I mean personal computer.

I think

you start to talk like that online and then you start to bring it into real life.

I mean, it's

shockingly gross.

Well, I think so.

She doesn't seem like the kind of person that is like talking to you.

How the fuck do you know?

You saw her two seconds ago.

You just look at her.

She's one of those, she'll go and complain to your manager and that kind of deal, but I don't think she's.

You saw what she did.

She is that person.

She sat there and called them fat pigs and was like, at least I'll keep warm because they're so fat and all this other shit.

She's exactly.

She's a maniac talks like that

to their fellow human beings, though.

If you're not uncomfortable with that seat,

you could maybe go up and discreetly talk to the flight attendant and be like, hey, is there anything we could do?

Because

I don't have any room or something.

But you don't talk to other people as if they're dirt, though, because

of the way they do it.

Do we know if she did that before?

Or she just started complaining right off the bat?

Like, did she go and complain and then they didn't do anything, which maybe set her off?

Like, these stupid flight attendants aren't listening to what I'm saying.

Did she hire fucking Giddam Steve Dave as her fucking

counselor here?

Because the way she's defending her is.

I'm just not.

She held in contempt of court for such a retarded defense.

No,

it doesn't matter.

There's still

a level of, it's not like, like, look, they're guilty of being fat, right?

Which is

a negative in this situation for the lady in the middle seat.

Well, it's not necessarily their fault, though.

It could be genetic.

Whatever.

But it's truly not going to matter.

Yeah, it doesn't matter.

They're encroaching on this lady space.

When I was heavier, I would purposely lean away from people because I didn't want to be that person spilling over.

This kind of shit is like, I blame the airlines.

Like the airlines should be like, all right, we got to fucking make an accommodation here.

We can't have two giant fat people spilling over and like touching and crushing a lady, like another passenger.

You just can't have it.

But that being said,

in no fucking world, is this the way to handle it?

But

you do see a lot of these videos, these public freakouts on airplanes and stuff like that.

Maybe it's something to do with just being in that enclosed.

Is it because you're the altitude, maybe?

I don't know.

I ducked even took off.

They were only like 12 feet in the air because they hadn't taken off yet.

Yeah, this is still on the ground.

Is there anything that can be said, though, for altitude causing people to act differently?

Yeah, altitude sickness, sure.

Well, maybe there's something something there then but again she had it to your arsenal fucking attorney at law barrister

i'm just saying is if you look at like these public freak out videos a lot of them happen like on

like when you're taxiing that kind of stuff and i don't know what it is some of them happen in ulta

uh

yeah it's not right i'm not saying it's right though it's you know you know you shouldn't get you should you shouldn't get a um insulting because worst comes to worst you're gonna have to be sitting there with them for four hours on a flight and then now they're going to do everything in their power to make your life miserable.

You should try killing them with kindness before you do anything.

I want to hear a situation

in which you killed somebody with kindness.

When was this?

When was this?

I would love to hear when you attempted to kill somebody.

Oh, I used to do it all when I was a cashier.

I used to do it all the time.

Oh, you're like my mistletoe.

That's not kind.

It's kind of creepy and perverted.

No, you mean,

you would would get the people who insisted that their coupons were perfectly valid and they weren't, they were out of expenses.

I can't imagine you giving somebody the pass.

Oh, no, no, I wouldn't.

No, I would not.

That's your power movie.

No, because our...

To be able to fucking throw a coupon back in someone's face, that's a shit you live for.

No, because we had to turn in our coupons at the end of every shift, and they would go through them to make sure they were correct.

Right.

So you can't.

We're both patchwork people, and I am cut from the same cloth in that respect with this guy.

I love pwning people, too, so don't even try and get them.

Because you it.

Some 99-year-old lady gives you fucking 10 cents off a cat coupon

and it's outdated.

And it says it's, you scan it and it says.

You can override it.

Can't override that.

I used to work there.

You can override it.

Well, you used to work there.

This was, what, 20 years later?

Like I said, we had to hand in all our coupons at the end of the shift and they were checked.

So you couldn't, there's nothing you could do to get that 10 cents off?

No.

But if the expiration, you show somebody the expiration date.

Yeah.

And then what do they say to you?

Well,

you should still be able to take it.

And then you'd scan it again and say, look, the computer itself is rejected.

it.

I do believe Mary Beth at Red Lobster was like, it was unreal.

It was unreal.

The shit people would try to pull, the nonsense, and like all of it in an effort to tip less.

Like, if you want to talk about shitty people, you talk about people who don't tip or under-tip.

It's like, it would enrage me.

She would tell me these stories and it would enrage me.

Yeah, like I had no problem with like the extreme couponers who come up like with 10,000 coupons because those are the people who, when they give you a coupon, it's good.

It's going to go through the the computer it's going to be you know scan right and everything hey whatever happened to that show that didn't last that long remember that show that would like they would

buy $800 worth of groceries like and the final tally would be three dollars

yeah I think that once people realized what went into that like how much you had to buy how attentive you had to be to like probably five or six different stores at all times they're like this is the funniest no way like those people have like OCD I think it's worth it sometimes like I used to when I used to get off the train when I was when I was working up at the bank,

no, I go behind the

stick and bundle.

On Mondays, I go behind the 7-Eleven and I take the Sunday papers that they had bundled up in the back.

I take them home, I take out all the coupons, and return them the next day.

And you would go through and you would find some coupon.

Prior to the paper going out?

No, no, no, this is after.

This is all the stuff that they cut the headlines, you know, they cut the header.

It's bundled, you know, they get taken back or they get thrown out.

So I go and I take out the Sunday coupons and I return it.

And yeah, like, you know, if you like, you like toast your strudels or something.

Yeah, this is why you had a girlfriend.

Yes, because she's the one who loved the toast of strudels.

Or did she love in-depth stories like this about finding coupons?

I'm sure everyone's like,

you know, I'm trying to like the guy.

I'm trying to like him.

He's making it so difficult.

Okay, why are you in your 20s with a girlfriend worried about coupons?

Saving money.

What are you saving towards?

There's nothing young Trim likes better than frugality.

Oh, yeah, yeah.

I'd be on the floor cutting up all the coupons.

She needed to be like fanning herself.

She was so hot.

Oh, my, look at my man Go.

Got fucking paper cuts like band-aids on every finger and shit.

Yeah, but I mean, for a couple items, it's good, but for those shows, that's just way over the top.

Yeah.

Did you watch the Ted Bundy thing on Netflix?

I don't have Netflix.

Oh, you don't have Netflix?

Yeah.

Get him.

Is that the one they've been advertising on?

I heard there was, you know, like, don't watch it alone.

I saw the

hype machine was up and running.

Hype machine is up and running.

And it is like,

like, I knew a fair amount about him prior,

but watching, it was only four hours, the same dude who did Paradise Lost, Berlinger.

So it was really good.

It was cut well.

It was interesting visually.

But

the

but I had no idea how violent he was and how

like you could like because there was so much footage of like his face in this and like his eyes.

So like you're looking at him and you're like, you know, he's fucked up, but you're like, you can see it.

Like you can look at this guy.

And everybody's like, you know, like they keep talking about him being handsome.

And I'm like, I don't know.

I don't know who's fucking PR.

That was a great PR guy that got that fucking

whole public to believe that, that he was handsome.

I mean, if you're comparing him only to other serial killers,

like like you have like, yeah, like Gacy or like Lee, Henry Lee Lucas, or like, yeah, one-eyed Henry Lee Lucas or Artis Toole or like any number of people that you're like, all right, you look like a fucking serial killer.

Like, no, look, you know what?

You could be BTK's son.

Hanging from a tree

in a cocoon.

And I saw BTK's daughter is

making the rounds because she's got a book coming out.

Oh, yeah?

Yeah, so she's making all the talk show rounds.

She's got a lot of things lined up, up, the 2020s, the date lines.

And I'm like...

That show's still around?

Yeah.

On one hand, I'm like...

It's interesting to hear from the daughter of

one of the world's most insane serial killers.

But on the other hand, man, she's only talking about it because she wants to sell this book, which is pretty fucking gross, unless she's donating.

And she may be, I don't know.

Well,

she's donating some of the costs to some of the proceeds to the families, to the victims of the families.

I got to take this, game.

Hold on.

Hello?

Hello?

Whoa.

Special guest.

How's it going, guys?

It's going all right.

I've been missing you.

Yeah.

Oh, I've been missing you, too, man.

I haven't seen him since Sunday.

We spent a romantic evening together.

Did you record it for this?

Romantic's the best word.

I think romantic is the best word for it.

Yeah.

Maybe the romantic?

Bromantic.

Well,

I went up to hang out with Q.

We were going to watch

the

WrestleRama.

Royal Rumble.

Royal Rumble, yeah.

And so we went up.

WrestleRama.

Hey, man.

We own that.

We own that.

Yeah, that's ours, WWE.

That's awesome.

So Q asked me if I wanted to come up and hang out, order some food.

And by the time I got up there,

he had brewed up some special cider.

He boiled up his own cider.

So he's got his kiln running and he's cooking up cider?

No, he did it in a, he had it in a pot.

It was like apple cider, whiskey,

and some nice

apples.

I'd like some apples, Wolf.

Give it a little extra flavor, and then when you're done drinking, you can chew on the apples, you get a little extra jolt at the end.

It's nice.

i like to do it on on cold lonely nights how much proof would this cider be

uh well i use maker's mark so pretty strong i go heavy on it it's like what 90 proof we couldn't see for like an hour and a half after one flash

you were there

who is this where

but uh

we had some cider and uh he lit a nice fire in the fireplace this yeah this sounds way

way erotic more than you would like.

Like when you guys are watching sporting events, when I've had people over to watch sporting events, I don't remember lighting a fire and

it gets even weirder, not weirder, it gets even more beautiful, Walt, because what we did is we put the wrestling on mute.

You understand?

So we just had the images of all the men grappling with each other and throwing each other around.

And we just sat around the fire sipping out the cider like next to each other and just talking.

Now are you guys on a couch?

Are you on, like, are you like, is there like a,

are you laying down watching this or are you sitting upright horizontally?

The French call it a love seat.

Yeah, just, he's not kidding.

It's actually

a love seat.

Were you debating how cold it was outside?

It was a little bright in the house, so at one point he did have to turn the lights down.

I'm not even kidding.

None of this, none of what he's saying is not true.

Everything is true.

I was like, God, we got this.

There's fire.

Why don't we just

chill out by like, you know, firelight?

I really should go.

Yeah, the flames were dancing.

And we were like, you know what?

I mean, two dudes drinking some homebrewed cider,

sitting fireside with the lights dim.

That's all good and fine.

But what if we threw someone else into the mix?

And then Troy came over.

The devil's trying them.

Yeah, so

Q poured him some brew right quick.

He's drinking moonshine?

Yeah, Q's.

He's keeping it on the QT.

He's not going to talk about Q's.

Can't he get relieved from his duties for that?

I mean, Q, are you selling it?

I don't know, no.

I'm not running it out in my backyard.

Running in his jeep.

Just for special men.

Yeah, he gave me a whole bunch of mason jars and I had to drive them back to Jersey.

Across state lines.

The cops are on me.

Yeah, but then Troy came over and mostly we watched videos online.

Like, Q showed me something that I had never seen before, which I'm like, it made me cry.

It was so fucking funny.

It's the introduction of this character.

a wrestling character.

How many years ago was that, Q?

So

this is, I think the late 80s, early 90s, the Shockmaster came out.

The guy was called the Shockmaster.

Didn't he

shoot streamers out of his hands?

I don't know.

Did he?

He did not.

Not that I know of him.

I don't know that his career went long enough to

really develop a gimmick, but I don't remember.

There's nothing to remember about the Shockmaster, except for his entrance.

That's it.

Yeah, it was.

I had never, like I I said, I never heard of them.

That doesn't mean much because they're breathing so heavy.

In 1993, it was 1993.

I just looked it up.

1993.

Now, Q, I know you're really into wrestling.

Yeah.

After everyone's gone, do you then sit there and go, holy shit, I didn't get to see any of the wrestling.

Disappointed a little?

High on it.

Yeah, we were facing it.

It's this one.

Is that it?

Hold on.

It's so.

Can you hear it, Q?

Yeah.

That looks like the house background on a QBC demonstration.

Looks like the 700 Club.

Yeah, so it's a bunch of wrestling guys on a TV set

yelling at each other.

Who's the guy who's doing the most screaming, the tall dude?

Got Sid Vicious.

Sid Vicious.

Is that just a Star Wars stormtrooper helmet bedazzle?

I thought Brian was going to have a heart attack.

I could hardly breathe.

I saw a leg get him.

I was like,

Now he starts yelling.

Now, would you say I'm accurate in describing it as a guy in a bedazzled stormtrooper helmet wearing a bearskin rug?

It looks like they dip.

I mean, Sid and Marty Croft are laughing at this.

I mean, it's unbelievable.

Look at his face.

Does he look like Rooker if Rooker had a bottom?

He does look like Rooker.

I can't recommend searching this out enough.

Oh, yeah, the Shockmaster entrance is something pretty special.

How long did this wrestler have a career in the WWE?

It damaged him.

It damaged him in the short term, but in the long term, he

became a legend.

Like, he was known for it.

He was beloved for it.

Oh,

this guy used to be Tugboat?

yeah.

This guy used to be Tugboat.

It's, I think his name's like Otto Otta, something,

yeah, Ott Man, but he played Tugboat from 89 to 91.

That's when I was like into wrestling for a while.

I remember him, but holy shit, did that make me laugh?

And then we started just watching like different fouls, you know,

both epic and non-epic.

And then they came out, he was a tag team with the natural disasters, he was typhoon.

Yeah,

Wow.

Yeah, so it was a lovely night.

Do you think you would be into it?

Well, I notice,

now, should I be

like

a little,

I don't know, what's the word?

I'm going to say disappointed.

Jealous?

Jealous.

Yeah, like,

how come there's no even

like just

a complimentary invite?

Knowing probably I'll say no anyway.

That's exactly why.

Because I'm like, I'm not going to give him the satisfaction until I'm going to to fuck myself.

I never asked him to hang out.

You know what, Walt, it's actually interesting you say that, bud, because I'm putting together a guest list for something that I'm doing in Manhattan in March.

And I was putting it together and I came to you and I was like, you know what?

I was like, I know he won't come.

I was like, I know for a fact he won't come.

I was like, but I was like, I feel he deserves the...

I said that.

I said that to the people handling it for me.

I was like, this is Walt's email.

Do me a favor, send them an email.

He won't come, but I but I'd like him to know that I was thinking about it just yesterday.

I said that.

Well, I have come to some things in the past couple years.

There's been plenty of things I have come to, though.

I mean, usually you bitch about it afterwards.

Too dirty.

You know, now I got lots of passes, though, now, where I could be like, nah, I've attended at least two things.

Now, I got at least six or seven in a row where I can say, yeah, I can't make it.

He thinks refusal is something you bank.

I say, live and let live.

Well, I would love to have you at everything.

If you don't want to come, like, I'm not going to get it.

No, I don't.

I got a bike date once a week with you.

I'm good.

Too much of anything could be bad then.

Familiarity breeds contempt.

Exactly.

That's exactly what Mary Beth said as I'm leaving today.

She drove me crazy, man.

I was showing her the Shockmaster video, right?

And

I set it up.

She does this shit all the time.

She's like, well, who is this?

And I'm like, these are wrestlers and they're going to introduce a new wrestler, like a new guy in the league or whatever.

Well, where are they?

And she like asks a million fucking questions.

And I'm like, fucking watch the video.

I was like, when Q showed me, I wasn't like, break it down first.

Like, here's a bunch of fucking questions I've prepared in order to watch a fucking 90-second video.

But do you feel you guys may have overestimated the entertainment value of these videos based upon how drunk you guys may have been while watching them?

I'll give it, what would you say, Q, like a 10%

margin of error?

10%?

Not with the Shockmaster, because I've watched that video many times.

I've shown many people, and the reaction is always kind of the same.

It's undeniable, the Shockmaster entrance.

Were they all wrestling fans?

No, not all.

I'm like, what the fuck am I watching?

Some aren't.

You know, some are, some aren't.

Yeah, I think, but she didn't even give it a chance to not meet her expectations.

She's fucking asking me all kinds of questions.

Like, would you just watch the goddamn video?

So did she end up watching the video?

She watched it and she was laughing.

Yeah.

Okay.

She was laughing.

She was drunk at the time.

Oh, you know what?

I have some competition, Q.

I'm going to have to, we're going to have to brainstorm on this cruise.

I was sitting on the couch last night pretending I was asleep, and

Sage walks up and I'm like, pretend I'm snoring.

And she open hand slaps me in the face and she goes, Prank master.

And she was recording it.

So

I have to check the video to see if it's worthwhile, but I was like, motherfucker.

The cycle continues.

Yeah, Prankmaster.

I was like, all right.

Daughter of Prank Superstar.

You got me.

You got me.

Yeah,

you know, daughter of Prank Superstar.

It only makes sense that you'd eventually branch out on your own.

And oh, Walt, Q and I came up with something so great that if it unfolds, I'll tell you once we're not, the mics aren't hot, as they say.

And if it works out, everyone will get to see it.

Oh, yeah, on the cruise.

No, no, no.

It's something that we were going to do here.

If it plays out like we hope it will, it could be one of the greatest moments ever.

Oh, nice, nice.

At least for us.

Not so much for other people.

That's all we really care about anyway.

So you got to get like a website like Prankstar.

So you know how you see those videos where people are just shouting World Star?

star oh yeah usually they're getting beaten to the ground yeah but we're more well i got beaten to the ground

um so q we're uh we will see a bunch of people uh on the cruise next week

uh yeah

and um

what's your got how many space monkeys oh uh shows are there on the cruise

how many shows do we have two i think right

i think we we generally have two yeah But you roll that half hour still.

Yeah.

So we got to figure out.

How many nights is the cruise?

I think it's like four.

Like you leave on Wednesday, you get back on Sunday.

Oh, you still only have two shows lined up?

Yeah.

Well, there's a lot of people there.

So.

So, I mean, I don't know.

We probably could do more.

I would do more.

It doesn't matter to me.

I mean, are there other people doing things?

I don't know.

I mean, they schedule it that way for a reason.

Probably because Q's like, fuck that.

This is all you do.

You work for two hours the entire time.

And sometimes it's only an hour and a half.

I'm doing Adam's, Adam's midnight movie thing with him one night, which I'm assuming you'd be a part of.

Sure.

You know, there's a lot going on.

Yeah.

I told Q, though, I do take a level of pride in many people saying, like,

Space Monkey's like, that's the show you got to see.

That's the show that people want to see.

Because you never know what's going to happen.

It could be.

You don't know who's going to be there, what's going to happen.

Who's going to need to apologize?

Could happen.

Anything could be said.

Yeah.

It's that level of danger.

You'll put the SS Gronk to shame.

Yeah.

Yeah, I'm going to steal Gronk's joke.

So, where are you guys off to see to?

Like, your entrance this year should be the shock maps of entrance.

Yeah.

I have a sparkly

stormtrooper helmet on to fall off the stage.

Where do you guys guys sail to?

Great Stir-Up Key.

It's kind of like when you went.

Do you guys stop the boat and get off, or is it just a new ship?

Yeah, they stop at the...

It's like

a boat-owned island, like the cruise line owns the island, kind of like when you went.

So you get off and you can do shit there.

Yeah.

And there's some day activities, beach and shit, all that.

You looking forward to it, Q?

You're looking forward to it.

Yeah, I am.

I am looking forward to it.

It's fun.

It's a lot of work every year, but it is a lot of fun.

Well, one of the things I like is that the boat's internet sucks.

So you just don't think about email.

You don't think about social media.

It's usually really expensive.

It's just not good.

I paid for it.

I still couldn't get it.

So I was like, fuck it.

I don't care.

Yeah,

the Wi-Fi is an issue on every cruise boat, not just impractical jokes.

No.

That's every cruise boat.

Let's not care, you know, let's not

disparage.

Yeah, the jokers don't need that kind of shit right now.

Come on, man.

Are you guys due to depart?

Are you guys due to depart before this polar vortex gets any worse?

It's not going to get worse here, right?

It's a week away.

The polar vortex?

We're in the middle of it right now.

No, the cruise.

Oh, yeah, that's true.

Yeah.

I'm just saying, you take off from New York or?

No, Tampa.

Oh, okay.

Okay.

okay.

Tampa.

Will we see Walt Flanagan on an IJ cruise eventually, maybe 2021, 22, somewhere around there?

Do you guys have if you don't do enough shit, you're gonna have to do it

if you don't go accept these other investments.

I mean, you got seven, you have seven declines.

Do you have that many cruises booked throughout 2022?

No, no, no, no.

We just have, we just, we go year by year.

All right, well, then pencil me in for 2022 then.

So I can't imagine we won't do another one.

You don't think you'll do another one?

No, he says he thinks

he will.

He's still out in three weeks, so I gotta imagine we'll do another one.

Would you be more inclined to go if it left from like

Port Liberty up in New York versus Tampa?

Because you like cruising from my view.

Yeah, but I don't like cruising.

With a whole bunch of people that are going to want to talk to him.

Yeah.

His own family doesn't want to talk to him on the other cruise.

That's his sweet spot.

People leaving him alone.

I'm not saying that they all would want to talk to me, but some would.

Right, and some is enough.

It's a episode of title name.

This is episode 399, Q.

I know.

I'm bummed I couldn't make it this week.

I mean, I'm glad I'm part of it, but I am excited about it.

So it's going to,

400 is going to drop while we're on the boat.

Yeah, it sucks that you're not on 400 either.

Yeah, people are going to be disappointed.

I think I did pretty well.

No, you definitely have 400.

I think Maxwell and I did pretty good.

Yeah, me and Waltern on it either.

It's Maxwell, Giddam, and Mike.

Mike three.

Yeah, but we got to figure that everybody's just jonesing to get through 399 just

to get to 400.

And not just because Giddam's on the episode.

Well, I will say this: 400,

it's a winner.

We put in our time for sure.

I think it's a return to old school TSD toe.

I think so.

This whole year, like, my goal is, I mean, we talked a little about it, because I don't know if you guys mentioned we lost an episode.

Did you guys mention that?

We haven't mentioned that.

The listeners don't know that, Q.

They don't know that an episode was lost.

Due to someone's fucking carelessness.

Sorry.

Someone who.

I don't want to say who.

I don't want to get into it.

Let them imagine.

I'm just saying

in it,

I stated the thing that

I really don't, like, I want to get back to old school, you know, us just talking about us, no politics, no bullshit, stuff like that.

And I think we're off to a fucking pretty phenomenal start.

With 400?

400 is almost like episode zero.

Yeah, agreed.

I agree.

Agreed.

You know, I saw, I was on YouTube today.

I listened to like some old radio stuff and I saw

him, one of the Tellum Steve Dave bits from like episode 59 or something.

And it really made me laugh.

And I was like, I wonder if we could get someone to just take like

a bunch of bits, like make a best of like a super cut compilation for people who are just, you know,

sort of getting into like a primer?

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah, maybe just like here's some of the.

Who's going to do that?

I don't know.

One of the fucking 90 editors you have on staff right now.

I would think the curator would that would be the curator's job.

Well, you'd have to, you'd probably have to poll people and find out what are their favorite bits.

No, no, no.

That's the most indicative of

that.

Just don't make more work for the curator.

Okay.

It's the whatever the curator likes, that's what's going to go on.

Okay.

So he cuts together like an hour.

The super cut, like an hour of the best stuff or some of the really good stuff.

So people's expectations will be really built up.

And then they go to episode one and they're like, what the fuck is this shit?

joint counter joint

I feel I feel strongly because look 20 2018 was it was a really really tough year for me in terms of workload and and and and mental stress and I purposely took steps to make 2019 you know

you know not as easy as even I would like but way easier and and already that has resulted in me

kind of rediscovering my my love like when I could have come down this week I was really bumped like I like I'm I'm just excited to be it's almost like how like a almost like a second honeymoon for me if that makes sense

yeah man born again yeah yeah born again yeah what's it called what are those virgins called when they say they're virgins and they're really not virgins

what's that liars no you know like they say there's a born again born again virgins like yeah we're like TSD is born again virgins yeah we're gonna when are we breaking our hymen with 400 right we're gonna pop our cherries all over we're gonna bleed all over the audience.

Get them, hang our sheets out.

Announce it to the world.

Show everybody, we mean it.

All right, buddy.

I'll let you get back to work.

All right.

Thanks, guys.

And, you know, I look forward to hearing what everybody thinks of 400.

And, Greg?

Google you up.

See you later, brother.

See you later.

I just wanted to ask you this, though.

Did you guys really sit on the same couch?

Have you ever seen a movie?

And after seeing that movie,

you felt like you were,

I don't know, you felt you identified so much with one of the characters in the movie that you felt like you.

You got ripped off?

Not ripped off, but like you.

Yeah, like...

You felt like you were in tuned so much and that you something, like, you know how like you, like, you get so pumped up when you see like a Rocky movie, you think you can beat up people right yeah okay

something like that like happened

I saw glass

okay I don't know if you remember the characters

Sam Jackson right

well the other characters like like Bruce Willis Willis yeah yeah remember his you remember he had like powers and stuff and he could

and he could like touch people and see things yeah

I saw glass and it was a good movie I liked it I felt it could have been a little bit better at the end I think the ending was kind of a little underwhelming.

Had you seen

Unbreakable when it came out.

Did you see Split?

I never saw Split.

I never saw Split, but I figured that I would be.

I figured that the movie would fill in the blanks.

Was the pacing for Glass as good as Unbreakable?

I gotta be honest, I don't remember much about Unbreakable either, but

I saw a review on it, and I felt like it intrigued me enough that I wanted to see it.

It was about superheroes in a mental institution, and they're kind of diagnosed.

it was interesting to me, that aspect of it.

But after I saw glass,

I felt more in tuned

with like being able to

feel things and see things that other people can't see.

I swear I'm not kidding.

I've heard this exact statement from Mary Beth.

She's like, I'm sensitive.

I'm sensitive.

I'm like, what are you talking?

Shut up.

Really?

Why does she say it, though?

Because she'll

say something is going to happen and then it happens.

It's happened like once or twice that I know of, but not even like major things.

So it could be coincidence, maybe.

Does she tell you like after the event?

I knew that was going to happen.

No.

She calls it before it happens.

Sometimes she'll call it.

Yeah, but

it's not something that's like, holy shit, I can't.

Sometimes it's like a 50-50 guess, you know?

It's like when we get there, the food's not going to be.

So did you touch someone and you're like, I can tell what you're thinking?

No, I didn't touch somebody, but I felt like

things were like after seeing Glass,

I felt like things changed for me in the way that the world moves around me.

I don't know why.

I didn't think that until almost a couple days later, though.

Okay.

It wasn't immediate, like I walked out of here going, like, I went and saw it with my daughter, Alicia.

It wasn't like

I can read people now.

I didn't walk out of there any feeling any different that I had felt.

Like, did something trigger in me watching this?

You might have gotten triggered.

and the first thing was um

weird things started like falling off the uh off the shelves at the store yeah

uh one day

and with no explanation just things just falling off the uh off the off the off the counter over there where the on-air sign is over there right just things just dropping off for no reason at all very strange and mike saw it and we have no explanation how it happened but

after that though two different instances um

It was pouring out the other night.

And I was leaving with Alicia to go get dinner.

And I saw this lady

walking in the rain, like torrential downpour with an umbrella.

And she was walking weird.

And when I pulled out, I had to go out of my way, so I didn't want to give her enough room, so I was not close to her at all.

And she made the most awkward movement and went up the stairs of a house.

And I was like, she doesn't live there.

And so I said to Alicia, I was like, I'm going back around.

Something weird's going on.

And I go, that way that lady moved, it gave me a felt like, I don't know, like that,

like she was up to no good.

Premonition.

And I walked around and I mean, I drove around the corner.

And I saw her up there and she was banging on the door.

And so I just parked down a little ways to watch what she was doing, but nobody ever came to the door and she walked away from that door.

So, wait, you're saying she doesn't belong.

Oh, so like you're saying ahead of time she doesn't live there.

And I knew she was

there.

I could tell by the way she moved, but she didn't live there.

And so enough, she didn't live there because we go, I watched her.

So you guessed that she didn't live there.

But there was something that made you think that to begin with.

Just the way her body movement.

So, you know, when you say,

have you ever identified with a character?

My first thought is, like yeah randall from clerks

not now on magic

i know it sounds weird but like i told alicia i was like and she was like what are you doing what are you doing why are we standing here why are we stopped what are you doing

i was like look i go this lady just something weird's going on i said she moved so awkwardly and weird and went up those stairs i said she does not live there and sure enough she walked down those stairs and kept on walking

she didn't live there i knew it i knew she didn't live there.

Okay, so that's just one instance.

Right.

Then we got to where we're eating.

Well, is the other instance that shit falling off the.

Yeah, that's a weird thing.

Like, that was just, I don't know if I'm.

I don't know if I was making that stuff fall off or it was just falling off.

It probably was.

But you've long said the stash is haunted, right?

I've never said that.

Oh, no.

I've never.

I said that maybe on comic on when they told me to say that, but.

Right.

Now that the show's off the air, it was all a sham.

None of that shit's true.

Well, actually,

Mike and I still believe Mark's here because you'll come in in the morning and just all of a a sudden out of nowhere a light will just turn off and then turn right back on.

This is your stuff.

Okay, go ahead, Willie.

Like one out of four lights.

So it's not like it's the whole LaRowe.

So we went into where we're going to eat and it's a waiting.

There's like a 10-minute waiting.

They said you got to wait 10 minutes.

So they give us that thing that beeps when you're trying to come up to the counter.

So we go over to the side where there's this big barrel of peanuts you can eat.

There's a big waiting area,

big little hallway, not little, big hallway, but not real wide.

And there's another couple sitting at the very top of the hallway.

And me and Alicia kind of sit in the middle.

And so they're the only two, we're the only two four people

in the hallway waiting to be seated.

And I don't know, I should not have been able to hear what they were saying.

And I could.

You could hear him?

I could hear him as clear as day.

And it was like, but nobody else could I hear, though.

Like, what is that guy looking at, man?

No.

And I don't know if I found, I don't know if I did.

Yeah.

So the lady, so the guy is looking, first off, he looks at us when we walk in.

He gave me a weird feeling, too.

He looked at us weird.

He doesn't live here.

He just was staring at us strangely, oddly, and it gave me something like, again, I don't know if I was feeling because I just watched Glass or I don't know why.

I don't know.

Maybe if I didn't watch Glass, would I have the same feeling?

But I did.

And so I sat down and I pretended I was on my phone, but I wasn't.

I was just listening to what they were saying.

And the lady, and he was talking so fast to the lady.

And the lady was saying, well, do you want me to pay it all in advance or can I make installments?

And he said to her, and he looked like a shimsham man.

Oh, yeah.

He looked like a shimsham man, man.

He was like, well, you're not going to get a deal like this.

So what do you think?

And she goes,

and then she was saying, and then she was saying that like how this past year, her life has been so hectic and so many awful things have happened.

And now this is going to be such a great.

This is exactly what he wants to hear.

Yeah, I could not get exactly what it was, though.

Like, I'm waiting and waiting and waiting.

And then their buzzer went off.

And she said, our table's ready.

And he goes,

he goes, okay.

But she was in control, though.

Like, she was going to, I knew that she was buying whatever, whatever they were there for, like she was going to be paying for along with something else.

And I wanted to go up to her and be like, I know you're going to think this is crazy, but whatever deal you got going on with this dude, I think you should run the other way.

That's what you said to her?

No, I wanted to say that's what you wanted to say.

But you learned your lesson when we tried to protect those young girls from that curve at the mall and we got yelled at.

Yeah.

So I'm telling my daughter, I'm like, should I go over and say something?

And she's like, I'm sure she's fully behind it.

Gotcha.

What are you going to say?

I'm going to be like, I'm going to say, look, I know you don't know me.

Call me Mr.

Glass.

I know you don't know me.

I know you have no reason to think I'm nothing but a crazy man, but I just saw glass.

That part you can leave out.

You don't have to, like, there's no full disclosure in this situation.

But you could have said, like, what that guy was saying.

I've heard that speech before, and let me just, it did not work out well for me financially.

That's all you would have to say.

He was like in his 40s, late 40s, and she's like in her 20s.

Yeah.

He was no doubt something was fishy was going on.

Something not cool was going on.

And I want to be, how do I go over and be like,

I know you don't, I know you shouldn't believe me.

I know you shouldn't put any weight in this because I have no idea what's going on, but I would not give this man any money.

How would I have come off, though?

If you're right about whatever deal it is, like if it's some kind of like,

I look like I belong in the movie Glass then.

Yeah, if she's seen it, she wouldn't, she would get the reference for sure.

But otherwise, she would probably just think, like, oh, he heard what I was saying or he heard our conversation.

Well, I wouldn't even, what if I just said,

I don't have, I just got this feeling.

I didn't see you five minutes before listening to your conversation.

You're not going to be taking it seriously, I got to tell you.

Like,

coming in with like, I'm psychic versus like just a little white lie of like, I've heard this pitch before and it ruined me financially.

It's going to make a world of difference in her reception of course because if somebody came up to me and they're like hey i'm the fucking gene dixon of right now i'd be like all right whatever get away if somebody came up to you though let's say you were at a restaurant and you hadn't you didn't realize that somebody was eavesdropping on your conversation and then like

just at some point in the in the in the meal the other person got up and i went over and i said hey look

You have I have no reason to justify this.

I can't justify it.

I have no idea why I'm telling you this, but I think you shouldn't give this man any money.

Your daughter sends you over here.

So

you're waiting for the other person to leave.

I watched for that man to get up and go to the bathroom or something, and then I still didn't know if I had the balls to go over and say it.

I think maybe you could just be like, be careful.

Like, I know you don't know me.

That sounds like I'm making a

leave it there.

Be careful.

And then walk away.

I'd be like, be careful.

I heard that pitch and

I didn't hear enough of it, though, but I'm telling you before and you think they weren't together they like kind of not did i know they were not together romantically i could just tell they weren't like he was scope like his head was moving around like a like he was waiting for the cops to bust in it look like right

he was just so sketchy and i didn't have the balls though to go over and say anything because i just didn't have anything to like well there's no there's nothing to back it up except i just got out of the movies and i'm pretty sure i'm pretty sure

i should won't gel with those guys because I got all kinds of powers.

I knew someone didn't live somewhere.

But I was right about that.

And something fell off the shelf, too.

But how weird is it that I knew

the way that I just had a premonition?

I just like the guy in Unbreakable.

I knew that lady didn't live there.

Even though I had no idea if she, I would have no reason to think that she didn't.

I just knew it.

Well, maybe since you come from an older generation, you still have

now what they call profile.

Moxie.

But back that too.

But back then, they would just be like gut instinct you just got a feeling a lot of people don't listen to those feelings you know because now they call it profiling and it's made to you know it has a negative connotation but

no no no no no no these people were not

they they were not of any ethnicity no i'm not necessarily that yeah it doesn't have to be a racist thing it's like if somebody looked at me i might get profiled that's a usually yeah people are are referring to like you know black people or latinos or whatever but people would profile me like i don't look like like i belong in certain areas you know like when i if i'm walking around outside of school people are gonna look way harder at me than they're gonna look at someone

bug you better dress no i don't care what doesn't matter i don't notice like when i used to work when i used to work at the supermarket i said you know you have a retail sense sometimes about people like if someone's just acting weird versus everybody else it just it attracts your attention aren't you that person acting weird no you know like you'd be walking down the aisle and someone would like they'd see you and instantly like you know take you know they'd like they'd, like you said, they'd have the shifty eyes.

And you'd be like, and I've had it happen where I like, something wasn't right and I went and told my manager and it turned out it was a young girl stealing stuff out of the gift card aisle.

But I'm not talking about a shoplifter, man.

I'm talking about like someone just, I'm talking about getting that shit.

Why the fuck are you trying to steal his thunder?

Why are you trying to put yourself on the same level as him?

No, I'm saying it's it's it's completely believable.

Fucking Mr.

Plexiglass over here.

It's completely believable that he saw a movie and it triggered something in his head that summoned this previously, he didn't recognize it.

Dormant talent?

Yeah, dormant talent.

Yeah.

I called my wife, though.

I was just like, if anybody knocks on the door, do not answer that door.

I said, I saw something sketchy going on.

I saw a lady.

She's like going up.

How close was this to your house?

Like four or five houses away.

Okay, so it wasn't like a mile or two away.

No, no, it was four or five houses.

Although she walked in the other direction, I did call my wife.

I was like, do not answer the door under any circumstance.

See, that's knowing his air air sounds straight.

He's like, I don't think that lady lives there.

He's like, batten down the hatches, Deb.

Lift up the stairs.

But I'm telling you, man, it was just like, it was like, I even, I wondered, like, I was like, you could see that lady, right?

To my daughter, because I want to make sure that I wasn't just seeing her, too.

Right.

When she said she could see her, I was like, all right, because I was really getting scared.

You can see ghosts now.

She's like,

did you also see the sixth sense that day?

Well, Bruce Willis was in that too.

I don't know.

I get all Bruce Willis's maybe

his abilities.

From every movie.

Yeah.

Wait till he

lands a space shuttle.

I know it sounds crazy, but I swear to God, though, I felt like also

I shouldn't have been able to hear that conversation.

I could hear it like I had the miracle year in.

Right.

Guidem, you must have, I'm sure you're aware of this.

The AirPods, there's a setting that you can tap on your phone when you're wearing them for hearing impaired that allows people, it like amplifies it.

But they say you can dip in on conversations.

Like, if you were sitting here, like, you could probably hear Mike all the way down there.

Really?

I wouldn't want to hear that.

You wouldn't want to hear him here or there or anywhere?

But they sell those.

You do not want to hear Mike here or there.

We've seen those

things on TV, like the tack ear, where it's like, and in the commercial, they're like, you can hear conversations all the way across the hall and or across the room.

And like the lady looks and she's like, did you see what she's wearing?

She's gorgeous.

Yeah, but I didn't have any enhancements.

No.

No enhancements.

I'm just sitting there.

I'm just sitting there and I could hear this conversation

as if like I don't believe anybody else could have heard it.

Like all it just cut through all the din.

Yeah, dude.

And like this is

like his senses just like started meshing together like his sight.

He's watching their lips and he's focused.

He's kind of like it was almost like Hal, like when Hal starts reading lips, but

it's accentuated.

2001?

Yeah.

So you're watching their lips move in the...

Robot dog.

And your ears are now picking up and it's syncing together and you're hearing what they're saying from so far across the room.

Two minutes ago, he's like, yeah, I'm the same as you.

I caught a shoplifter once, a little girl.

No, I don't know.

And now he's like, oh my god, you're like the fucking robot from 2001.

I did not say that.

I'm just saying, is that, you know, something damage control over here?

Go back and listen to the tape.

I like when you said that, Mo.

So subservient.

Yeah, like a dog.

You're like, heel boy.

He's like, wait, I got one more compliment left.

Still got one in the chamber, boss.

But I do feel like

if I was in a movie, though, I would have went over and told that lady.

If you were in the movie?

If this was a movie, I would have gone over and told that lady.

Oh, yeah, yeah, definitely.

Right.

But in real life, though, I didn't have the...

I just didn't have it.

I just couldn't do it.

I just didn't go over and say anything to her.

If you had like a pen on you, like all red, would you have written her a note?

And maybe like had the waitress.

I thought about that.

I thought about writing it on a napkin and just putting it on her table.

But that would be like...

The good thing is most people accept that life doesn't work like a movie.

So there was no real expectation on her part that's like, well, I wish somebody would fucking come up and tell me if this shit's for real or not.

I mean...

Why did someone warn me?

But then I was thinking, you know, like, maybe my, maybe...

Maybe I don't have any kind of gift or anything.

And what if whatever that she's doing is actually beneficial to her?

Who am I to say something based on just because I feel like I've got some headaches?

But that's the crown.

But that's the thing.

You don't have to go at her like, hey, under no circumstances should you do this.

You just plant a little doubt in her mind, and then that'll, like, her brain will do the rest.

You know, if there's any,

like, if she's not totally naive, she's got that tunnel vision.

A total stranger was like, yeah, I heard what was going on.

Just be careful about those kind of financial deals.

She's going to be like, you didn't say that for no reason.

If somebody said that to me, I wouldn't be like, what a nut.

I'm like, fine.

I wouldn't be terrified.

No.

That wouldn't freak you out.

It would be a little weird.

I said it to you in pancake makeup, though, like pancake makeup.

Okay, so now you look.

All right.

What if you look like Bruce Willis?

I'm just at your bed.

I wake up.

I'm like, oh.

Hey, Brian.

Just want to let you know.

Don't go through with that deal.

It might not be.

I've heard it before.

And then he's gone.

I mean, if those are the circumstances, then

I would be like, this is weirder than if somebody just said it to me.

All right.

That's interesting, though.

I'm curious to find out how it goes from here.

I hope you send some more skills.

Can we test this?

I don't know.

Can you be like Bruce Willis and just stand out on the streets of Red Bank and just let people walk by you?

How many people are going to walk by me, though, that it's going to trigger it, though?

Most people will walk by.

Probably nothing happens because they're not into anything that would trigger it.

Well, here's the thing.

Here's what you do.

You don't stand outside in the cold all day.

You can sit on the bench.

The next time that it happens,

what have you got to lose by going to a total stranger and being like, hey, blah, blah, blah.

Like, if you told that lady, be careful about the financial deal, you've lost nothing.

Right.

That's why I felt really horrible when I drove away.

Now, now, how do you approach it?

Do you just do it dead seriously?

Or maybe do you like ham it up just a little bit?

No, I think if somebody starts hamming it up, I think

you're in and you're out.

Yeah.

Yeah, suddenly he's put on a show.

He's like, hey, Mr.

Green, have you heard about this financial deal?

No, just like if you walked by them and just stopped and held

that in.

Well, I'm not going to go into financial dealings.

Oh, you're

histrionics

like what was a what's the name of the wee where a guy predicts other people's deaths oh uh dead zone yeah like

Christopher Walking yeah

yeah no like did you think the world's a safer place because it's unlikely Giddam will ever raise a child.

Some of the shit he says, I'm like, you cannot impart this to a kid.

You can't do it.

All right.

So, yeah, I kind of struck out.

And it hasn't happened since, though.

When did you go see the movie?

Saw the movie on Saturday.

I had my bouts with

feeling like I was supernatural

Tuesday.

All right.

Well, wait, Tuesday's Wednesday?

Yeah.

All right.

Well, it hasn't been triggered since.

Oh, yeah.

Well, I mean,

it would be a disaster if it was triggered all the time.

So just here and there, yeah, give it a little time, you see, and then you make your decision from there.

Is this something worth telling this person?

Like, if you get a sense that, like, a lady's gonna have a miscarriage, I probably wouldn't say anything.

Why?

I wouldn't.

Oh, yeah, no, I need to a doctor.

No, that miscarriage is gonna happen anyway, right?

Not necessarily.

Well, not necessarily.

Oh, oh, sorry, Dr.

Giddam.

I wasn't aware.

The fucking doctor's in the house, asshole.

In between listing eBay auctions, yeah, yeah.

I am a trained physician.

Yeah, I'll let you know if you're specializing in miscarriage.

Like, if he gets a sill birth.

Like, if he gets a sense that Andrew carried to full term.

Like, if he gets a sense that Andrew's going to have heart problems or something, you know, maybe just be like, go get a signal.

A blind person could get a sense of that, man.

Dude's fucking hyper-obiece.

All right.

So one more episode.

And then, I mean, well, actually, this is it.

Next week, 400.

A lot of pressure.

I'm sure a lot of anticipation.

I cannot wait for the I don't think people will be let down.

I don't think so, but you know what?

Someone is always let down.

You might have been let down with this episode and last episode, but I, but I got a feeling.

I wasn't

you got a feeling?

Well, I mean, not that I

my feelings aren't based upon like the whims of the fucking listeners if they like a podcast.

I have more important shit to fucking worry about.

The listeners?

No, I do.

My gifts can't be wasted on that.

Oh, no.

You got to fucking figure out if somebody lives somewhere or not.

Is that a mailman?

Who doesn't live there?

Tell him.

Don't answer the door.

Tell him, Steve, Dave.

This washed-out wash makes the scenery come through the clouds.

We chased our somber

in line with our ancestors

that knew we were dumb,

so our value building structure.

Well, I pleased

how I never felt true until now.

Seeing through the shadows, we'll have nothing left organic.

Can't quit my jobs,

we'll feel the failure seems to

forget me.

But tomorrow don't remember.

We're all lost,

we'll find it somewhere.

We'll capture talk like we're flying without feathers.

From through the clouds, they can see when we all sever.

Singularly leaves its roots and hits the ground.

Flowers peddle onto each

weary brown.

Can't quit our shops, hopefully the fairy soon.

This washed-out ocean makes a scenery come through the clouds.

This washed-out ocean makes a scenery come through the clouds.

This washed out ocean makes the scenery come through the clouds.

This washed out ocean makes the scenery come through the clouds

through the clouds.

They can see when we all stand.

Singularly leaves its room and miss the brown.

The flower that we're on the field is where we drown.

This has been a production of Smodco Internet Radio, sir, only at Smodcast.com.