#389: A Livestream to Remember

I want to suck your tits later, bro.

I'm like, if I come back, you better call the fucking cops.

Flatigan blood is pure.

We're talking about the father Flatigan bloodline.

It shan't be tainted.

This is starting to sound kind of culty to me.

Tell them, Steve Dave.

So welcome to the final live stream.

We're going to have to come up with something better than a live stream.

It's too much.

It's too much to expect of a person.

My entire life is fucking a series of like, hey, here's some more bad news.

No, it's not.

It is, man.

I'm arguing with my fucking manager, a fucking bitch.

She is.

She is, though.

She's just being nasty to me for no reason.

Someone who works for me.

She's in my employee.

And she's like, figure it out yourself.

Yeah, that's you fire.

I got her.

Have you ever fire anybody?

Have I ever fired anybody?

Yes.

Yeah.

Yeah, there was some kid.

What is that?

Uh-oh.

What's that noise?

I don't know, but I don't know.

My source will tell me if something goes wrong, she'll let me know.

Okay.

I think it's the GoPro that I have.

Okay.

Are you doing this firing get him via live stream?

Is that what you're saying?

Before Mark was at the

Oh, my God.

Are we about to find out the truth behind Mark?

No, no, no.

Oh, after Walt was like

with extreme prejudice.

There was this young kid right out of high school that was forced upon the stash.

by someone.

I didn't have a say in his hiring, and he didn't last.

Who would have that kind of juice?

Oh, it wasn't even Kevin even.

Oh, no.

No, it wasn't Kevin.

Oh, okay.

I know who you're talking about.

And he was terrible, and he just was, he was,

let's just say,

he was no get him.

That is

a low bar.

It's not clear.

Well, thank Christ.

Wow.

You're confirming something he was hoping.

Yeah, I don't know whatever happened to that kid, but

he lasted a summer.

And

actually, I didn't fire him,

but somebody else did, but on my behalf, though.

So I didn't do the dirty work.

You are too chicken.

I'm not the firing guy.

I don't want people upset with me.

I talk a big, tough game, but

when it comes right down to it, man, my heart's just too big.

It's like he starts with this weird, like, self-deprecating, like, I'm not the man you think I am.

I'm more.

You can't even conceive.

Yeah.

Yeah.

It's like you think your heart's enlarged.

Oh.

Oh, God.

I look forward to it.

I want to fire her, man.

She's just a nasty fucking person.

You miss a couple of cons.

A couple?

I heard you stood up the fonts.

Stood up the fonts.

Now, that was Connecticut.

I wish I had gone now, man, because I didn't know they were sitting next to the fonts.

But,

I mean, it's been years,

at least two, two and a half years since I missed a con.

Yeah.

So there's no way, like early on, yeah, I would expect that she would be like, fuck you.

But now

it's hard to regain that trust, man.

It really is.

Trust me.

She fucking works for me.

She can be like, I need to drop you as a client.

I'm not like doing a trust fall into her fucking arms.

Come on.

Relationships,

if they go south, they're hard to rebuild, you know, especially business ones.

Right.

Still.

Still.

I understand, but it's like...

Like if she did it to me, like she kept disappearing then me trusting her, but it's like she's she can either be like, hey, I can't use you as a client because you, hey, how's everyone like our fire man?

I can't believe it's taking this long.

Crackling and popping, man.

This is nice.

Maybe it's cold outside.

Well, it is.

It really is nice.

It's very, very cozy.

You crank the air.

You get the fire going.

Yeah.

It's good to be American.

And you're saying nothing goes right.

Look at you.

That's true.

That's true.

You got a fucking manager.

If you think anybody else listening to this live stream has a manager, maybe like the McDonald's manager or something.

Yeah,

I know.

But why do you keep taking her side, though?

I'm not really taking her side.

She's talking to somebody because his heart's so big.

Yeah, my heart.

Yeah,

right here.

It's just too large to not see that.

Yeah, it's about to burst out of your chest, man.

Whoa, something just happened to that.

Whoa.

We may be off.

Oh, it still says live?

Okay, all right.

Okay.

Yeah.

I don't have any new

messages.

But you know what?

You know, if you're unhappy with her, though.

I think you know what to do then.

Instead of like, but you know, don't do it.

Be a professional, though.

Be a professional.

Public spectacle is what you're saying.

Like, just do it the proper way.

And this way, you know, because if it gets out that

you made this big song and dance and you did, you know, you

publicly trounced her,

who wants to be your next manager?

Yeah, does she listen to Tony Studio Dave?

I sincerely doubt that.

I doubt she's on the live stream.

Yeah, she's like, she's talking about me.

yeah because like she can't she like all right like you let's say you got another manager right

what can she like talk the cons and like blacklist you blackball she probably could yeah she may be able to uh you're gonna watch what you're saying to blacklist me from all these fucking awesome cons she's getting

i don't know i i always i i always tend to think there's there's other ways to go about it than with pure just like rage hostility maybe you go with her and you just tell her you know like hey I'm not really digging the way you did this.

Can we work on this?

Or if we can't work it out, like if you can't treat me in this way with the things that you're not digging on her, you know, just give her another shot to like make it better or move on then.

Do you understand this language he's speaking?

No,

it's an adult response.

It's a measured response.

It's a sure response, you would think.

It is.

I know.

I know it's the right response.

It's so much less satisfying.

Yeah, because then it doesn't get out.

Like, then all that's still in there because there's a sense of like, who the fuck, dude?

That's always in there.

That's just, you just put different faces on that demon.

That demon lives there.

It'll never go away.

It'll never go away.

No matter how nice I am to everyone for the rest of my life, I'll be on my fucking deathbed being like, I should have given them shit because I fucking, look where I ended up with the same place anyway.

Yeah.

Maybe a little bit later because I ended up a heart attack.

When is this

new mode of being nice to everyone?

When did that start?

It never started.

I'm saying if I were to take your advice.

If you do take it, you don't know where that road may take you, where that car may travel.

Kindness car.

Yeah.

The K-car.

I had an incident today in which I failed to be kind.

I parked my car in Manhattan, right?

The guy said, what time?

First of all, he's a little something just keeping you by, right?

So when I leave, I can just get in the car and drive off.

That's a time-honored tradition.

Now he works for you.

That's it.

He accepted the bribe.

He goes, What time are you going to be here?

Around five o'clock.

Get there at five.

Get there at 4.55, right?

Three other people come after me.

Three other people get their car before me.

So I say to the guy, I'm like, dude, what's going on?

I've been here almost 20 minutes already.

He's like, well, you said you were going to be here at five.

I was like, I was here at five.

What time is it right now?

5.14.

I was like, yeah, I've been here for fucking 20 minutes.

And I was like, what's up?

He's like, well, there's a lot of cars back there.

I got to move cars.

I was like, dude, I gave you 20 bucks to keep it close.

right?

And he starts walking away.

And then he turns around.

He goes, you know what?

I go, dude, I go, I don't care.

I was like, just get the car.

I was like, just get the fucking car.

Comes back, gets a car, and I'm driving home.

And I noticed that my, you know, the little electronics.

It's come on your ticket.

The odometer?

Oh, deep.

Whatever.

That little is all messed up.

He fucking switched it to Canadian.

He put it on something else.

And like.

He fucked you up on purpose.

He fucked me up.

I know people, I know for a fact that they do that to asshole customers.

So now I'm the asshole customer who tipped him fucking 20 bucks so I called the place and I said hey is what's his name then

I get him by his when you own by his name yeah he's wearing a name tag oh okay and I was like whatever it was Pepe right it wasn't his name but I'm like okay I gotta speak to Pepe

and Pepe comes back and he's like hey I was like hey it's Brian I got the red jeep he's like oh yeah I was like bro you think I don't fucking know that you messed with my things and he's like what are you talking about I was like asshole I was like don't fucking what's up you did it I was like and I already fucking drove away so you're lucky I'm not coming back he's like oh come back.

I'm like, if I come back, you better call the fucking cops.

And he hung up, and I was like, all right.

And that was it.

I went on my way.

I was like, you're named after a rapist skunk.

Well, no, his name wasn't Pepe.

I'm just saying.

His name is like John.

Pepe Le Pue.

That's what he was.

I guess, yes, he was a skunk to you.

But now, what happens to your speedometer, though?

I was able to go into the settings when I parked and change it back.

But you couldn't tell how fast you were going a beef.

He has the needle one.

So what would it really do if you didn't like?

I wouldn't be able to get it back to the way it was.

Well, he had it set to kilometers.

He must have had his reasons.

It was like, it's fucking.

He thought you were taking a trip to Canada.

Come on, Pepe.

It's Pepe.

Put you on the metric system.

Yeah.

But you don't have that many kilometers left, Daidy.

You know, you're going to want to fill up a petrol.

I almost called him back to continue it when he hung up on me.

I know the exact thing.

And then I was like, you know what?

I already called him and fucking

the feeling of being perpetually like, I'm dissatisfied.

I tip the guy 20 bucks.

And then he yells at you like you're the dickhead.

Yeah, that was the thing that almost set it off.

When he turns around, he goes, you know what?

And that to come back to like start round two of the argument.

And I wait, I was like, just get my fucking car and get me out of here.

I don't care what you have to say.

But it's like, I wouldn't, none of that would have upset me if I didn't tip him 20 bucks in the beginning.

There's a compact.

There's a

compact.

Would it be

poor form to be like, I need that $20 tip back?

He wouldn't give it to me.

It would be asinine form because he'd walk away with that.

No, he wouldn't.

He wouldn't.

No, I would think he'd

be dissatisfied with it.

So you deserve the tip back, I would think.

I'm not getting it.

In the history of tips, has a tip ever been given back?

No.

Never, right?

It's not even a tip.

It's a bribe.

It's a straight-up bribe.

Yeah.

You know.

Masquerading is a tip.

So today I had my own fucking thing because if I was talking to you about it, I'd be like, why do you even bother to call?

call?

I'd be like, what the fuck did it do?

But I can't.

Even though in that moment, it's uncontrollable.

This leads into like your whole Zen sort of like approach to shit, which and I've seen him get mad.

I've seen him slam an iPad here and there, but not with the frequency that like I do it or Q do it.

Well, like he calls me as he's chasing somebody down the street like a madman.

He literally sounds like an insane person.

Like if this were a 911 call, people would be like, holy shit.

Yeah, I get worked up.

but

it's not good, I'm not proud of it.

No, no, no, it would be so much easier if it weren't that way, but it's it's something that in the moment you don't even think about, like, let me control sage is constantly like she's like, dada, elax, elax.

She goes, and then she has me saying this mantra, I'm a calm boy, I'm a calm boy.

That's what she the moon.

What's that fucking uh poem that uh that sun's going down a real low, big guy?

You know what?

I'll be honest with you.

I definitely am more cognizant of if I'm going to allow myself to let anger overcome me because I'm being 100% honest because the way I've seen you act, though, and I was like, I cannot.

You're an inspiration.

Yeah.

I'm inspiring.

I own your life.

I do not like the, I don't like the way that other people are in the room.

And like, there was a time we were recording,

I think, Puck Nuts, and you broke the chair.

You slammed slammed the chair because,

yeah, and now I didn't mean to break that chair.

Well, I mean, how could you say you didn't mean to when you put your foot into it that hard?

I did.

I know that everything leading up to that was like, What did he think was going to happen?

Of course, the chair is going to break, but I'm just trying to like get that, whatever that is, get it out so that it's not there anymore.

Like, it's that energy needs to be expended.

I don't know, yeah.

Well, I'm just telling you the truth, though, that I've seen that, and I was like, It was very very

just,

it affected me.

Embarrassing?

Shit.

You should be ashamed of yourself.

I really didn't like the way

how I felt after that.

And I'm like, man, I don't ever want to act like that.

And I'm not going to.

Looked at the camera for emphasis.

So, yeah.

And that day, my heart got three sizes bigger.

So now, like, you know,

I try to remember that when I feel like I'm getting close to feeling like I'm angry, angry i'm like well it's not that really a big a deal i do try and sometimes i'm able to do it sometimes i'm like especially if i'm around sage i'm like i'm like

and not that she's got me that mad but something's got me that mad and she's just in a proximity uh you got to shut it down i gotta yeah

i got i don't always usually i do

The other day I went to Rob Bruce's Horror Con and I stopped by Walt's house.

I had to grab something out of his car.

Now we

went to that signing in New York, when was that March or April, somewhere around there?

You know what I'm going to say?

Yeah.

It's insanity.

Walt and I drove up to New York to do a signing at this

comic book store up in Syracuse.

I remember this.

That's what we did with Frank Vod, right?

Yeah, yeah.

While we were up there,

we stayed at some place that Tommy Lincoln arranged, and he got us some drinks, and he got a bunch of snapples.

So as we're leaving.

What were the snapples for?

They were for me.

Okay.

Right.

Look.

No,

he's laying bricks.

Yeah, I know.

I know.

I see the foundation.

So Tommy Lincoln gets me these snapples and then I'm going to leave, but there were still like five or six left.

And I'm like, well, I'm not just going to leave them for the next person.

Tommy Lincoln spent good money on them.

So I take them with me and I forget them in Walt's car.

You didn't forget them.

I didn't forget them.

I'll get those tomorrow when I dropped you off the night.

I'll get those tomorrow.

So then I did, yeah, because I had a whole bunch of shit with me.

Don't let them paint it like I'm like, fuck you.

Fuck you.

It's a fact.

Okay.

I mean, I know it looks like we're in a courtroom.

The fact is, if you can tilt the camera a little way, Rusty the bailiff is right there.

I will get these tomorrow.

I don't feel like coming back out for them.

Right.

So I forgot them.

In the car.

I left them in the car.

All right.

So I guess they were in the front seat.

No, they were in the back seat.

They were in the back seat.

Somehow they're in the front seat now.

Yeah.

In a cardboard, like long box top.

Long box top.

Along with an album to, what was the album?

The album was David's Soul.

David's Soul album.

33 from 1976.

Yeah.

And then these six Snapple bottles just laying there like loose.

So I'm like, well, I'm going to assume he's not going to drink them.

He's been here since March.

So I take them and

I put them in the backseat of my Jeep and I drive less than a mile and they're they're rattling.

A glass bottle?

Yeah.

It's immediately driving me crazy.

I'm like, motherfucker.

So I have to pull the car over and I have like a car blanket in case Sage gets cold or whatever.

So I wrap them up in this car blanket so they stop rattling and it works.

But as I'm driving, I'm like, what kind of sick maniac drives around since March with bottles rattling right next to him and isn't like,

I'll take them out or throw them away or wrap them in a car blanket or any number of things that would stop him from rattling.

I'm like, what does it say about the man who's like, rattle away, man?

Rattle away.

We all have our demons.

You rattle.

I was playing the long game.

I knew at some point you would see them and be like, oh, you stole my snapples.

I didn't steal them.

I left them there for you for that next day that was, I guess, four months later.

Yeah.

I wouldn't drink those snapples.

I mean,

they were in a heat.

Can they go bad?

If they're in plastic bottles, you shouldn't drink them.

They're in glass.

Because

the plastic

bleeds into it in the heat, but glass are okay.

All right.

I'll give it a shot.

See how it goes.

What's the worst that happens?

You know, you ain't going to die.

You ain't that lucky.

No, no way.

No way.

I just turned up.

God is going to keep me on earth as long as possible.

It's going to be in the end.

It's going to be the God.

This is the news.

Yeah, I'll be 115.

I wouldn't have been able to get out of bed for 25 years.

When I heard the clinking of the glasses, I just turned music up louder.

I don't even hear it.

I wish I had a good friend.

A considerate friend.

Yeah.

That's all right, heart.

It's me and you.

I never once complained.

I never once said, hey, when are you coming to get these snapples?

I just bit my tongue and just dealt with it.

But you could have been like, oh, you forgot those snapples.

And I'd be like, oh, shit, I forgot the snapples.

Thanks for reminding me.

And they would have been out of your car

three months and 29 days ago.

I just thought I was doing the right thing by just waiting, you know, just keeping them safe for when you thought you would need it them.

Like, every day I can dig in a little bit more to fucking riley's balls and fucking snapples.

It never would have came up.

It never would have came up if you didn't bring it up.

Were they in the back and you knew I was coming to get that shit, so you set them up in the front right next to you?

No, because I had to use them for the carpooling.

Draw eyes on them like Wilson.

I had to bring home so many packing peanuts that I had to lay all my seats down in the back.

That's why I had to move that stuff up to the front.

Speaking of which,

large gift Patreon people

boxes are going out within the next two days.

So

extra gifts as well.

Two gifts instead of one because

you guys.

There you go.

You're live.

Yeah, I know.

I gotta go get my little notebook over here.

Keep vamping while you're there.

But yeah, so two big gifts, a poster, a shirt, and the large people.

You're also getting the magnet and the patch as well.

So

you guys are like, you guys hit the TSD lottery in a couple days.

Well, they paid for it.

They're going to hit the lottery right now.

Since 7 o'clock.

Howdy all.

Good name, Steve Dave here.

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Are we going to, I mean, are we going to restart the show?

You never said welcome to TSD.

You never said anything, really.

You're right.

I never did.

Hello, and welcome to this week's edition of Tolin Bon.

Well, now you don't have the mic here.

I don't have the mic, dude.

It doesn't matter.

I'm just going to make it.

Isn't this going to be an episode?

Yeah, it's going to be an episode.

You're all right.

You're all out of it.

When does this go up?

We're at CaveCon this weekend.

Can we plug that?

Yeah, we are at CaveCon.

Where is it, Missouri?

It's Colin Bunn's.

Colin Con, right?

I wish I could go to it.

I wish I flew.

Dude, it would be great if you came to that for Metro because we're going to be signing all sorts of Metro stuff.

CaveCon is in.

Where is CaveCon?

Somewhere in Missouri.

How did you get the invite?

CaveCon.

Did your manager hook that up?

As if.

Yeah, this manager.

Yeah,

she was in talks with Q's people to see if we could.

Yes, CaveCon in Springfield, Missouri, September 29th and 30th.

And we're going to be there Saturday and Sunday all day.

Saturday and Sunday all day.

And we're doing the Space Monkey thing.

Space Monkey Saturday night.

Oh, yeah, where are you doing that at?

I guess guess in the con somewhere.

And Ming.

And Ming?

Oh, yeah, Ming's going to be there.

Oh, Ming's going to be a Space Monkey?

I guess so.

Probably.

Yeah.

He always is.

That's right.

It's like the Defenders, correct?

Anybody who's on stage automatically becomes a monkey.

That's right.

Yeah, last Saturday it was me, Tiffany Shepis, Rudy Sarzo from Quiet Riot, and Ron Jeremy.

Did you call it Space Monkeys?

I did not.

Why not?

I don't know.

I don't know.

I don't know.

Don't ask me any of this shit.

I was still, my head was, I had a a headache from the fucking bottles rattling all the way down the fucking Atlantic City.

It is weird, though.

Like, he's the kind of guy where, like, when you, when we both lived on Barbary Avenue and he comes out of his house one day, and there's fucking like, it looked like somebody dumped like a bucket of paint over the side of his car.

Yeah.

But he didn't even notice.

He didn't know until I mentioned it later on.

Well, was it on the passenger side of the car?

No.

No.

It wouldn't bear mentioning if it was.

I don't pay attention to that stuff.

But how do you not come out and be like,

it looked like a pterodactyl came on my car.

It was all over the side, like down like that, not on the window, but like down that piece of trim on the front and on the door.

Did you ever figure out who it was?

Nah, I didn't care.

Yeah, I don't really, yeah, I got my mind to other things.

I'm not worried about if there's like a, a little, like a little turd stain on my car.

It really doesn't bother me it's not a turd stain earlier just earlier you were like somebody smashed into my car in the parking lot and they left a note and you're like why'd you bother telling me what do i care

he'd be driving kilometers per hour if he fucking rides the pafe for the rest of his life oh yeah that's true but i i just don't feel it um like i said man i i just seen how how agitated you get and how it changes the room.

So like I've made a conscious effort that I'm not going to let that little stuff like that agitate me.

It brings a unique energy to the room

is what you're saying.

Personal signature, if you will.

Yeah.

A little touch of my own.

Yeah, I did Horacon and

it was all right.

Rob Bruce's Horacon's Eminem City.

My girl Tiffany Shepherd's.

Girl Tiffany Shepard's like super sweet.

She's the best.

She's easily the kind of person.

She's so nice that like if you're the kind of guy that's like, oh, a girl's being nice to me, she must like me.

100%.

You would think that.

Oh, God.

And she's beautiful too.

So you're like, she's really pretty.

She's pretty and she likes me.

Yeah.

Yeah.

She's got good stories, man.

We should get her on the pod one time.

Rudy Sarzo from Quiet Riot, Nazi Osborne, legit rock star.

And I told this story about how I can't remember if I've ever told on Telemachus Dave, but I was really into Quiet Riot

in the last, like, maybe,

was it like after we graduated, like after senior year, I think it was probably like 1987.

And the guy, Carlos Cavanaugh, or whoever the guitarist is, he had like a certain hairdo.

And I had long hair at the time.

So I was like, oh, I want it to look like his.

So I went to this,

I don't know, I guess you would call it a beauty parlor.

That's what, like, my girls do.

Yeah.

They look through like magazines.

I want to look like Ariana Grant.

Like, I want to look like Carlos, whatever his name is.

Yeah, it's just like

guys just let their hair grow.

They don't like try to

groom it to look like a certain rock star.

I had a kid in high school that shaved his hairline to look like Morrissey.

Morrissey.

He did his hair up in that pompadour and shaved his hairline to look like Morrissey's hairline.

Are you saying that when you go to get your hair done, you're like...

No particular style, just like a man would cut it.

I just say take it a little off.

And, you know, I'll just give it a trim.

It's been about six weeks.

Excuse me, the flanagan.

Yeah, I'm not like,

I'm not bringing in pictures of celebrities and being like, here, make me look like this guy, because I know it ain't going to happen.

But

I don't know why, like, why?

Why do I reach for anything in life, I guess?

Why?

Why try?

You know your station.

We all know your station.

You keep reaching.

Make my hair prettier.

Make my live stream work.

But dudes, yeah.

Why is it never for me?

Yeah, dudes don't usually like try to look like

rock stars, I wouldn't think.

Like, you know, by going to the hairdresser, right?

Yeah, I'm sitting under one of those hair dryers, like, did you hear about Myrtle?

She and Eddie are having a hard time.

Rough go of it.

I hear Judas Priest's new album is going to be rock this year, gals.

Yeah, Turbo Lover.

That was my nickname in high school.

Oh, God, yeah.

So,

so I go, it's a guy cutting my hair.

A guy who's like, I'm like, hey, I want it to look like this.

And he's like, so like a little rock and rolly.

And I'm like, yeah.

Did you bring a picture or no?

I brought a picture.

Yeah.

And it's like, I don't know.

I'm a fucking circus magazine.

Yeah, exactly.

Kerrang.

Charade.

Yeah, he's like, I really like the deaf leopard drummer's hair.

Like, maybe maybe go for some, like, go for that.

No, I was like, here's the picture.

No, no, no.

I was like, here's the picture.

And he's like, a little rock and rolly, to which I said yes, but I probably should have been like, I don't know what that means.

You don't know what that's this, then yes.

If that's not that, then no.

Rock and rolly.

So I get the rock and rolly haircut, and it does not look like

rock and rolly wasn't the Carlos, whatever his name is.

So I walk away with a haircut that's not, it's rock and rolly, but it's not what I wanted.

And I tell Walt the story, and we were painting your mom's house at the time.

So I'm telling Walt the story and telling his mom, and they're dying laughing and shit.

And then Walt's mom went out of her way to go get me a shirt with iron on that said rock and roll on it.

And I wore it to the fairy.

It's a good sense of humor.

Yeah.

It was funny, and I wore it to the fair that night because we were going to a fair, so I actually wore it out.

Like, I would kill to have it back.

Like, I really wish I still had it.

You can make it again.

Yeah, I could reach it.

It's a black shirt with white letters.

Yeah, look at merchtable.com pretty soon for a rock and rolling shirt.

So, Q,

as we're, I'm hoping people can hear this.

I'll turn it up really loudly.

You are a busy dude.

Yeah, I have my busy times.

You're always on the go.

Yeah.

So

while we're doing Patreon stuff, every, you know, you're involved with what you can be involved with, but some stuff you can't be, obviously.

I mean, it doesn't seem like they tell me Steve Dave Audience likes me much anyway, so no, they like you.

I'm sure they're not missing it.

They like you just fine.

I keep being told I'm the disposable one.

Who told you that?

I get him.

Tells me things that people say about me.

Get him does?

Yeah, although Giddam's pissed at me.

Why?

Because

he was texting me.

You know how he complained that I never answer him?

Yeah.

I finally answered him.

Let me see what we got here.

All right, I hope you can hear this.

If not,

I don't know.

I don't know.

I don't know what to tell you.

I'm going to turn it up real loud.

So Walt said that he wanted to do a podcast with his daughters called Father Flanagan.

He mentioned this

on last week's show.

And kind of made it sound like, I was thinking about doing this.

I don't know if I'm going to do it, though.

Probably not.

I don't know if we're.

And then suddenly there's a Father Flanagan segment.

No, no, no.

I never said I was thinking.

I was thinking about it for a while.

I said, I knew I was going to do it because we didn't have enough content on tidbits.

So you just did it then, like, for tidbits, like, in between when you said it on the show?

Yeah, because I told you.

Remember, I told you I said, well, I asked Declan, and I go, how much content we got for Tidbits?

And he was like, 10 minutes.

And I was like, oh, fuck.

So I was like, all right, I'll do it now then.

All right.

So he does.

Father Flanagan with his daughters.

Yeah.

I wasn't aware.

He doesn't tell me anything either.

So you should not feel left out.

Well, I didn't know it was coming up.

No, you didn't tell me that it was coming up this week.

When it's coming out, too, if I told you, I told you.

Maybe because I would want to listen to it.

I would like to hear it.

Did you listen?

You must have listened to it because I think people are going to be.

God damn right I did.

And this is Father Flanagan making haystyle because

the level of

smugness

and self-aggradizing.

Oh, I can't wait to hear this.

It's unbelievable.

Like,

you can't hear it, but you can imagine the patting on the back the entire time.

And his daughters are good.

So, what

do you have to clip that you're

using?

I have six minutes of clips.

And you felt that I was patting myself on the back?

Well, let's okay, we'll play the first clip.

Q, I'll let you decide.

All right.

Let me make sure this is Father Flanagan, episode one, available only on Patreon.

Well, I guess everybody who's listening to this knows that.

Well, no, if we're

a regular show, then, yeah.

Okay, so here we go.

Okay, this is great.

Father Flanagan's Home for Wonderful Girls.

Okay.

Already patting himself on the back, this is great.

No, no, the title is great.

I know.

You're telling your daughters, this is great.

No, no, because it's a play on the

party's on, the Wayward Boys.

I know, I know.

I know what it's a play on.

So I'm not saying that

the pod is great.

I'm saying that I like the concept of the name and changing wayward boys to wonderful girls.

That's the first

glimmer of

I think he gets beaten at home.

I'm not even kidding.

I think that they abuse him.

There's elder abuse going on.

The way he patronizes and panders to them throughout the entire, like telling them how awesome they are and how he shit.

He's their father.

Why wouldn't he tell them?

I know you're not used to this idea of parents.

I'm not buying him, man.

That's what it looks like.

That's the way it really goes.

That's the way it should be, yeah.

No, no, I'm not saying that's the way it goes.

Okay.

I'm saying that's the way it should be.

Okay.

So each, I can't remember each clip, but so I'll play it and then I'll tell you why I picked it.

Okay.

Okay.

So maybe I'm not totally on the mark with that one.

Oh, I would think not.

Okay.

Well, of course you're going to say that.

Father Flanagan, for you, I'm sure neither of you know.

is a reference to a priest from the 1940s who ran an orphanage for boys that was called Father Flanagan's Home for Wayward Boys.

I tweaked Wayward Boys because

I have two girls, and you guys are not wayward.

Actually, you know, you're actually both very well-behaved.

So,

that's where the humor comes in.

Okay, so he's a riot now.

Is that humorous?

What, the tweaking of the name to wonderful girls?

I think it's fucking a 10-beller.

Wow.

Obviously.

I thought that was like more first-draft kind of stuff where like you're like shit, we're in a pinch for tidbits.

Wonderful girls.

You're glad your daughters aren't wayward, even just a little?

Oh, hell yeah.

Why would I want them to be wayward?

I don't know.

I don't know.

Put a little excitement in your life.

No.

You know?

I don't need that's not the kind of excitement I need is like

Alicia was caught deflating tires in the target parking lot or something something minor

I'm surprised that you were you're um that you don't find that clever.

Home for wayward boys, home for wonderful girls.

Are you comparing these poor Dickensian orphans,

these Oliver Twist type?

Who are all dead by now?

No,

they're still wayward boys.

Fucking, you've got one in your employees.

The boys.

The boys from Boys Town, though, have all grown up and probably are

either on their last breath or already underground.

Yeah, you think?

This was like a tribute to them.

This was like, you know, like,

Father Flanagan.

I mean, hit that dude with a bunch of people.

Or were you just embracing

your blessings, your two blessings?

That you're like, thank God I don't have wayward boys.

I have really great daughters.

I just feel like he's rubbing it at all our faces.

I just feel like he's like, it's a big fuck you to everyone who's.

I'm hoping the rest of your fucking examples are better than

why don't we just

something more

meatier.

Okay, okay.

And I know you would jump in if you thought of the camera.

Oh, yeah, I'm sure there's something coming.

Yeah, please don't hold back here if you feel I overstepped the line.

Well, because I know you like busting your daughter's chops, so I figure things are going to get filtered through that lens.

You know what?

I was being earnest on this pod.

I wasn't in TSD mode.

I was in father mode.

Father finding it.

I got to be in father mode.

Yeah, but you torture your children sometimes.

The leprechaun shit.

That's actually mentioned at one point.

Let's see what we got here.

Before you play it, though, the concept was

through experiences that they grew up in with being in the Flanagan household, I would give them

things that we could talk about, and then maybe the listener who would maybe, or, you know, if they're a parent, maybe they could pick up on something.

And since

he's going to teach everybody a lesson, basically, is what he's saying.

But I mentioned in a thing that I was like, I got to be careful not to come off as preacher or as a know-it-all.

I realized that.

Mission failed.

All right.

See what's next.

Don't get me wrong.

His daughters are super likable.

He's the only one that you're like, eh.

I think it's pretty cool.

It's a concept about a father and daughters podcast.

Or even if mom wants to join us she if she's around she can weigh in she's allowed oh she's allowed

i'm digging

you're digging she's allowed because she would be part of father flanagan's wonderful girls this is starting to sound kind of culty to me

no it that's probably what you're seeing is that what you're like is there like a resputant type sort of hold over them that you just keep complimenting them this is this is what this is just so foreign to you that you cannot you cannot wrap your head around it.

You didn't turn the mic off, did you?

I never know with you.

I don't know.

Is there a switch on it?

I just want to make sure.

I only put the headphones on the switch.

Okay.

All right.

Look at it.

There's no switch.

Yeah, you're good.

Don't you see the thing jumping when he talks?

Hello.

Hello.

Catfish jumping on the line.

There you go.

Say something well.

Hello.

There you are.

Well, you better have more evidence than this.

It would be 30.

And you would be 30.

Think about how many life experiences we would document in those 15 years.

Okay.

Like, think about it.

I mean, how amazing it would be.

It would be like

an audible record.

Well, I mean, we have to see how the first one goes, though.

Now, this is the one thing I disagreed with.

I think you should do it anyway.

Even if people are like, Father Flanagan sucks ass.

We never want to hear it again.

I hope that they didn't say that.

No, I don't think they'll say that.

I liked it, actually.

But I think you should do it anyway, regardless of who's listening.

Like, wouldn't that be interesting?

Oh, no, because I wouldn't do that.

If it's not well received, then I mean, these people are paying for it.

I want to find something that people like.

If I'm not teaching people life lessons, what the fuck is the point?

No, no, that's not it at all.

But if they're paying for this content, I want to find that perfect combination of content that they're happy with.

If they're not happy with that, then it goes.

I'm not saying you have to force it on them.

I'm saying do it anyway for yourself, like you and your daughter, so later on in life.

Yeah, but I mean, it's, yeah, I guess you're right.

But I know then if there was no, like, if we didn't quote-unquote have to do it We don't have to do it I know we probably wouldn't ever get around to doing it though.

Yeah, yeah, all right.

Well, you heard that man if you want Walt to be able 20 years from now to be able to sit down with your girls and be like, oh my god, remember we did this pod?

I think it's worth it.

I think it's worth it.

If you want to see Walt, you know, I mean

by that point his fucking heart will be the size of Manhattan.

Now that Father Flattingen bit wasn't the only pod that premiered a mini pod that appeared in Tidbits, premiered in Tidbits last week.

Chris Ledondo's, man, I propose a roast.

Oh, yeah, he sent me the artwork for it.

How did it come out?

I mean, people are digging it, man.

Really?

People are digging it, yeah.

He, like we mentioned earlier,

he felt I neutered him a little bit.

Okay.

But I felt I had to.

He kind of went after a couple of TSD town residents.

A little too hard?

A little bit too hard.

A little bit too hard, Venus.

I should say hard because that would give me a clue as to who it was.

So I asked him to

point his roasting flamethrower at me and get him, and he did.

But it's only one joke.

I was hoping for a little more.

Well, I mean, if that's the consensus, if the rest of the Patreon's

listeners want to hear more from Chris, I mean, I'm sure he could bump it up to two minutes.

Okay.

My source is saying we're still rocking, man, so it's good.

All right.

My source here,

to check the live stream, yeah.

Okay.

Yeah, I would have liked to have heard more because I know he can do it well, so it's like one joke.

I'm like.

He's like you though, though.

I feel like he's prone to the same kind of like humor, which is why I had to neuter him a little bit.

That kind of like for his own good.

Yeah, almost for his

own, like, you know, I don't want him to get in trouble with something.

What he said was like Andrew Dice Clay area.

You mean funny?

You mean funny, but you're just not allowed to say it anymore because people's feelings might get hurt.

He's got a towel.

How How dare you?

I just think in 2018,

we need to.

TSD starts to have to move away from

the kind of humor that never.

Never.

Never.

Well, look, as long as I have a hit TV show, I agree.

Talk to me in two years.

The second it's like, sorry, man, shows catchers.

They're like, who has AIDS?

You have AIDS, and you have AIDS, and you have AIDS.

I know because I gave it to you.

I got AIDS.

Yeah, I'm if only if me, if you're the only one, the only one on TSD making these jokes and me and Q are not joining in and we're kind of like, you know, stone-faced, I guarantee you'll start, you'll be forced to change your game and elevate it.

Yeah, I looked at my pants.

I'm like, when did I become Chris Ledondo?

I'm neutered.

I guarantee you, though,

if we don't understand,

if we don't laugh at

your low-hanging fruit jokes.

Oh, that's an insult.

He got it coming to me.

Look, he brought fucking Father Flanagan under microscope.

He's beyond reproach.

So dare I agree with you?

Yeah, so far you agree with him.

You're going to find

that part I thought that was encouraging.

See, that's a little nice, right?

Where I'm like, you should do it just for like you.

Yeah, it was encouraging.

And where's this one part that you're just like that you're going to be able to do that?

Wait, where's the bomb?

Bring out the bomb.

Oh, there's so many.

I don't know.

So I thought it'd be nice in every episode if we kind of somewhat bring it around where I, Father Flanagan, that's me, can offer up some sage-like wisdom in the episode that helps you and maybe, you know, in turn helps a listener as well, who may be listening, who may be a parent, or maybe, you know, but I got to be careful not to come off as like a know-it-all, or like I'm preachy, or like I know everything, you know, because that's that's what we don't want.

Now, our mom, who may be joining us from time to time on this podcast, even though right now we only have to do three.

If she weighs in, she's allowed to.

She's part of Father Flanagan's girls.

She's a lot of wonderful girls.

What kind of iron hand are you fucking ruling that roost with?

I think you misunderstood what it meant.

When I said she's allowed to because she's a parent, she's not one of, because I think people think it's just Father Flanagan, father,

that it's about just me and the kids.

She would be aware

because she's just part of the girls.

Okay.

Yeah.

Because I said in the podcast,

it sounds like a patriarchy right there.

I know.

Fucking white man.

You're in the play that

I'll be the one giving the advice, girls.

I'm the one with the wisdom.

But I said in the podcast, I said that.

Like, I've grown, I benefited from growing from living my almost entire adult life filled

in a house, a home, a home

with all women.

Yeah, and you call it unique, but it's not really that unique.

I think a lot of people.

Fucking, that's what I have.

It doesn't benefit me in the least.

You had a father, you had a father, you had brothers.

Oh, you're saying when you were young growing up until

almost my whole life.

No wonder you fucking sit down when you piss, for Christ's sakes.

I mean, I want to feel like you're not going to be able to do it.

No wonder you're fucking angry if someone fucking raises an eyebrow at you.

You're ready to fucking go off the cliff.

Somebody who works for me is going, do it your fucking self.

That's not raising an eyebrow.

That's an insubordinance that is insufferable.

No subordinate.

Someone gave you a cheeseburger with fucking soggy cheese and you kicked the door down of a fucking restaurant.

No, it was like the 10th time that they put cheese on what was supposed to be a hamburger.

They don't know that my kid isn't fucking lactose intolerant.

They know that I am and I might take a bite on the way home.

A $6 an hour kid made a mistake.

You just got to.

For the 10th time, Fuck that.

It's not the same kid.

It's probably a different kid each time.

I don't understand this though.

It's like, whatever you guys want to serve me is fine.

Oh, friendly sky, if you want to serve me, it's fine.

You just look so happy.

Your hearts look so big.

Why wouldn't I just sit here and pay for the privilege of being treated like an asshole?

Because

it's about having some compassion, some understanding for people who are working in the service industry.

You've got to fucking change it.

I'm tired of giving people quarter now.

I'm tired of it.

I do have patience.

I had patience the first couple times they fucked it up.

By the fucking fifth or sixth time, it's like it's pathological.

But you're aggro.

Your aggression is really, really fucking off-putting.

I'm telling you, I'm not the only one who feels this way.

Brian Johnson, the one with the second least testosterone in the fucking group.

I want to suck your tits later, bro.

I'm telling you that, like, I benefit from seeing how my girls handle that situation they're not ready to like jump down someone's throat you know and I take it I take it from them and I'm like you know that's the way to handle it girls you taught me something I know this wayward boy

he broke one of my chairs

oh man all right let's see what's next enough of this shit man you're you're fucking firing blanks I know Q is not impressed yeah I know I live in a house okay you want to hear this right

so I have a very unique perspective growing up and well not growing up but being surrounded by women all the time.

There's a lot to learn from that aspect.

I feel I've benefited greatly.

Now I know which fucking tampons to buy for myself.

He's gloating.

This was aimed at me.

You don't understand, right?

There, that says it all right.

Oh, you don't understand.

This is a hate letter to me.

That's all this is.

The girls are in on it.

It's a conspiracy.

Hey, you know what, though?

I mean, like I've always said, though, I've always

feel like I would like to, for a little bit, just to feel like what it feels like to have that kind of

function to be a female, to know what it feels like to be a woman.

Yeah, ask Ming when he lays on his stomach.

He'll tell you.

It's just asking a woman the fucking thing.

Oh, my God.

All right, what's the next one?

Are you, are you, can I ask a question?

Are you spiraling?

Are you getting worse?

Because it does seem to me, I've known you a long time.

Yeah.

That lately there's been a ramp up in

the frustration, anger.

It's coming back.

Yeah, it was like sort of like it peaked in the winter and then it went down and leveled out.

And yeah, it's like maybe it's a weather.

Yeah, but it's still, it was 90 degrees today.

That's true.

Like, what are you going to do?

It's officially falling.

It seems like lately, do you think it was a TV show going away?

No, no, that doesn't matter.

Like, I don't know what it is, but you do seem angrier lately.

I think think it's like I'm finally going through everything at my house, like getting all the, like, it's like 10 years worth of paperwork I got to go through to fucking get everything in order and just like unpacking shit that's been there for a year.

And

that's all I do is like shit, because not only that, but I got to fucking do the wash and make sure the kid has dinner and goes to school and goes school shopping.

Like, they're fucking, those people don't help.

What people?

You know, her mother and sister and brother.

They don't know.

You knew that when you took it on, though.

Father Flanagan.

Yeah, I know.

But I got to deal with that too, though.

And you don't see me.

I got to do.

You got Mother Flanagan.

Yes.

I know

you've moved in a mother yourself, though, it sounds like.

Yeah, she's

but she's not like.

You factually keep talking about it.

You're like, I got her fucking doing every not bragging.

I don't mean it that way, but you've said that.

You can say bragging.

You've got her now doing all the things that you need to do to give yourself some time.

You seem very pleased with that.

Yeah, but like not enough time.

I need more time.

She's got to work harder.

Is what you're saying?

She's not doing enough.

If I didn't know any better, I'd say she worked at Sonic.

But you have somebody now, it seems like.

But I can't just keep it like, oh, now watch her here, watch her here, watch her there.

It's like, I can't just keep it.

Why not?

But because

it's like her job.

What is her job then?

She does

freelance work for this photography place now.

She's staying there?

Staying where?

At the photography place?

No, at the Johnson household.

Yeah.

Well, damn.

But I don't think that means like, oh, now this is your kid and you have to watch her whenever I'm going to do something.

Why not?

Why can't you?

Why not?

I don't know.

Why not?

I don't know.

I feel like...

She'd accept it.

She'd endure it anyway.

She doesn't want to do it.

She could leave.

Yeah, but that's just in general.

It's like, who has the most endurance?

Are you a sprinter?

Are you a long-distance runner?

I need to know if you're going to be in a relationship with me.

She'd be very happy with this relationship, though.

Yeah, but that doesn't doesn't mean that like other, like, there's shit she can't do.

She can't go through all those paper.

Like, she doesn't know what I'm going to throw away.

As much as I'd love to, I can't put everything on her.

I would love to put everything on her, but I can't because she can't do certain things, you know?

Well, yeah.

She can't go through my stuff.

Right, so, but you can.

My trophies?

I mean,

you can.

I mean, it's not, I don't.

I do, though.

I did.

She has a lot of stuff.

But you've made this.

Eats when I tell her.

But you made this mess, though.

I know I did.

That doesn't mean it's not frustrating, though.

Right, but you can't.

Like, I would much rather be doing other shit.

Like, I want to get up and I want to, like, work and write and stuff and do that kind of shit, but I can't because it's a non-stop, like, catching up, but at the same time, trying to maintain that shit that's going on.

You know, Sage is school shit, Sage is doctor shit, this shit for Sage shit.

I got that totally other person.

Yes.

That's a word I've been looking for.

You're allowed to be.

I mean, it's a human condition.

It's involuntary.

You wouldn't be overwhelmed if you could help it.

Right.

So you're overwhelmed.

So you have to, we can mock it and we should, but we also have to recognize it and and start talking solutions like you're overwhelmed what is a solution though what are possible solutions here

uh

nina rad helped me find um

some uh like like after school stuff for

and um

and uh maybe like a babysitter sometimes you know like that kind of thing so she sent me to this website that like and everybody's qualified and shit but more so like after school stuff

you know Because it's like, otherwise I gotta like when I'm when I'm doing something with you, and I'm like, oh, it's already two o'clock, I gotta go because I have to go pick her up, you know?

So it's like if she was going somewhere after that, something she would enjoy, you know.

I mean, this is, I mean, this is part of the responsibilities of being a parent, though.

I mean, you know, I know.

I mean, I know that still doesn't.

The rewards outweigh the

things,

the little bumps, though.

So, I mean.

But I'm not giving her up for adoption.

I'm saying saying that it's frustrating.

You need, I think you'd, I've been saying it for a while.

I think you'd benefit from going to therapy.

You need to carve out a little time for yourself, even if it's that hour a week in therapy.

Even if it's, you wake up and you write for 15 minutes every morning.

You need to do that.

This is my me time, too, and it's spent for fucking two hours not being able to fucking work the goddamn technology.

It doesn't matter.

We'll never have to worry about it again.

Last live stream seconds.

I do got to worry about it again because I got my people to do live streams with.

Well, if you want your problem.

But

now that I know how to do it, though.

Why are you doing live streams?

The top-tier people I do.

You have to do a solo live stream, he promised.

But just the two, and then we are done with it, and I will never have to worry about it again.

Well, if we do it again, it'll be voluntary.

Yeah.

And it won't be part.

We'll do it just

as a give it away to everybody.

Then if we

got here, there was something.

back there was some

points

that i ever said oh i wish i had a i had a son never once never once have said that sign

oh my god it's not true when

when of them said that not like mean but that's like oh yeah you wish you had a son

to play sports yeah

oh i didn't mean i didn't

so did you really genuinely think you'd never said it

that's what i was saying i think i i think not everything is me coming down on them i definitely Not all of them.

I definitely.

What are we talking about here?

I didn't realize that

they had heard shots that I said that.

But you heard them say, I never said it where I was like, you know, like,

I wish you were a boy.

I wish I had never.

You said, I wish I had a son, which is different than saying, I wish you were boys.

Yeah, I don't think.

I mean,

we have to remind you that Mike and Bing say to every girl.

We both decided we wouldn't have any other kids.

And I think

I regret that.

The fruit can never hang too low.

I missed that gay joke.

What makes you assume it was a gay joke?

Because it was low-hanging.

You said that that fruit can never be too low.

Oh, like fruit, like a gay, like, oh, he's a fruit?

Whatever.

2018.

Whatever it is.

You wish you had had another child.

And take another shot at it?

Yeah.

Yeah.

It's not too late.

Oh, it is too late.

Yeah.

It's medically impossible.

Oh, I see.

Plus, look at my age.

Yeah.

It would be a dangerous.

What if you adopted kid, like a 14-year-old from Romania?

I would never adopt.

No?

Good for you.

Look at that big old heart.

Oh, a second-hand kid

refurbished?

I think not.

I'm Father Flanagan, for Christ's sakes.

I'm fucking dishing down life lessons to all the fucking ants who don't know any better.

I mean, I'm just being honest.

Father Flanagan will never lie to you guys, but I just said that.

He'll lie to his kids about saying I never said I wanted a boy.

I didn't realize I had said that, though, but I would be terrified, though, that

I'd bring in some sort of psycho kid.

I don't know what they, what they, what, you know, what kind of genes they have.

Even if you get an infant, it seems like it's 50-50.

You're adopting a kid who's bounced around the system that's like 12 or 13.

It's like

you may as well bring a pit bull home.

you just don't know.

It might be awesome, or it might be like, oh, wow, I remember when my wife used to be alive.

Clap its jaws around your neck.

Yeah.

I read an article.

The lady was like 93.

She adopts a pit bull.

Within a half hour of bringing it home, it attacked and killed her.

But that's that's isolated.

Pit bulls are good.

It definitely is isolated.

Yeah, I know most pit bulls technically are good.

But still,

something with that kind of

reputation, reputation, I'd be like, I don't know.

Do I want to roll the dice?

Yeah.

I'm just saying, that's what I'm saying.

Like you turn your back and he's like, oh.

Flanagan blood would is just a bit, it's just hard to try to like bring in something.

I don't want to say

Flanagan blood is pure.

We're talking about the father-Flanagan bloodline.

It shan't be tainted.

Somebody's hair Flanagan.

Oh, really?

Jesus Christ.

A mongrel in this house.

Family crest is an adoptee with a slash through his face.

No,

I just would be terrified to bring in a child that may, you know, have some emotional issues.

Might be wayward.

Yeah.

Yeah, and then, you know,

then it could destroy

the harmony that I've built in.

He just looked 10 in the picture.

Oh, no.

No, I don't understand.

Sunday, Jeff,

Sunday, Jeff, I got a return for you.

boy.

You're twisting my word.

You can just drop it outside of town.

Yeah.

There must be a fire department nearby.

Drop him off Rambo style and I'll hope he doesn't walk back into town.

But, you know,

honestly, though, I see, when I'm out in restaurants, I see young parents with their young kids.

I mean, I just wished that I could go back to that era.

Really?

Yeah.

I see the exact same thing, and I'm like, what the fuck were they thinking?

Oh, no.

Like, none of them seem to be enjoying.

I'll say this about you, Father Flanagan.

Never did I see a time when you were like, I don't enjoy time with my girls.

Bro, no, no.

Like, never, not once.

In fact, when they got older and they weren't spending as much time.

It bothered me.

Yeah, it really bothered you.

These people, I'm like,

like littlest kids, and they're like, here, watch this iPad.

Or like they've got two or three kids, like moms in Target in the morning.

They're like young moms, but they have two kids like within a year of each other.

And I'm like, holy shit, that's your life now.

Like, not just once, you're like, do it again.

Well, like, here's our plan.

We'll get them close together.

I don't understand it.

I don't understand.

I've never understood having a kid ever.

Like, it was never, never a thing that looked good or fun to me.

Yeah, but I'm just saying, like, like, compared to Father Flanagan, he would always be like, oh, we did this, we did that.

They were always doing something on Sundays, you know?

Like, when I was young, it's like...

Like Pam and Edgar would be like, oh, it's family day.

And Sunday family day meant that it wasn't like, oh, we're we're going to go to do something as a family, which would have been like, all right.

It was, you can't see your friends.

You just can't see your friends.

Like, yesterday was Saturday.

You can go hang out with your friends today.

Clean the garage.

Clean the garage where Edgar's going to fucking sleep on the couch and we're going to just kind of hang around.

It was like.

Well, I don't, you don't want to.

Fuck you.

Well, I think what it's going on here, though, is

you would say that Edgar had a bad temper, right growing up yeah I'd say so worse than you or just on par with you

um

on par see now we both grew up with with I mean you had a much more I mean you had a loving parent and I don't know I don't know I guess I guess I'm from the outside looking in I don't know I shouldn't say that I don't know what what how the what but it seemed like he cared about you and but you know it was hard for him to to

display that emotion you know he did he I guess he just wasn't capable of it but I knew he that like he cared about you guys and your family.

Oh, yeah, absolutely.

And I think my, my father probably did too, but he was, he was a ghost.

He was a spirit.

Never talked to him, sat in a room, didn't, until eventually he just faded away and he was not in anyone's lives anymore.

And I vowed that I would not be that person, though.

And, I mean, well, I got the temper, but everything else is different.

Yeah, but I mean, I still maintain the family day thing.

I'm like, no fuck.

It's Sunday.

Yeah, but I mean, you got to work on that temper thing.

I mean,

you'll just be so much happier, I think.

Yeah.

I think he was right, though.

I think if you get the right therapist, I mean,

you could end that.

Before it's court ordered.

You could end that fucking.

Yeah, that cycle.

That cycle.

So then my son.

Oh, wait.

Because you are.

I mean, look, you're old enough to know better, but you are a victim.

Like, you.

Hashtag me too, son.

Listen to me.

Listen, personal responsibility doesn't exist anymore.

We all know that.

It's something a relic of the 90s.

So buy into it for a second.

Like, you're a victim.

Like, you were raised

that way.

You were indoctrinated into this anger.

And I'm sure you wish you weren't.

And it was against your will.

But people, you know, get judgy about it.

Well, you're also old enough to know.

But the anger should be.

Right, but like so many people probably have something similar.

It may not be as destructive or as like out there as like these fits of like anger, but they do things that they've done since they were a kid, just like behaviors that you don't even notice that aren't necessarily like

attractive, you know.

And I'm not saying nothing about you, but like just in general, just in general, you know what I'm saying?

Yeah, no, no, no.

Yeah, just in general, like it may be more subdued than like smashing holes in walls or breaking your friend's chair.

Yeah.

Do you feel

and like I've mentioned this before though, and you're like, I said, why don't you just go talk to him and just like, just like

close that little, that weird,

that weird kind of

vibe that you guys got, and just like, just be like,

oh, you're daddy.

What would be so wrong with trying that, though?

I just, he would be like, what are you saying this for?

Because

you're going to say it at some point.

It's going to happen.

Why not just do it now?

What am I going to say?

Be like, I mean,

I'm giving up that I'm not going to hold it against you.

There's no more resentment.

You're my father.

I love you.

And

mom cheated on me.

I never told you.

Let's be best friends.

Why the fuck?

You're being crazy.

If you're being serious, you're crazy.

Why?

He would be like,

can you punch something so I know it's still you?

Like, what the fuck?

Why is that so fucking scared?

Fucking scroll.

It would be, because we've never had that relationship.

if

that language like there's no there's no

yeah it's like that's like stepford wife type shit he would be like he's got he's had a lobotomy there's no way he would say this just like this is what i want to try this i want to move past this whatever it is that what happened in the past is in the past i want us to be close i want us to be have the like a father son relationship that rivals any father and son relationship.

Didn't they do that on The Simpsons and it totally didn't work out?

It's a cartoon.

I was talking about it.

So is my life

do you feel that edgar views your relationship with him the same way as like a missed opportunity no

so he doesn't see it that way i don't know

i mean not that he's ever one time he said like in passing he was like i know i wasn't a great father did you correct him Yeah, I was like, not great.

I was like,

you're fucking giving yourself an awful lot of credit.

You could have been like, dad, don't you put yourself.

You could have just just said to him, hey, dad, don't beat yourself up over that, man.

You are a damn good son.

So start this off on a lie?

Stop the new relationship on my father.

You're a damn good father.

Don't say great, but you're a damn good father.

There's no need to beat yourself up.

At least, like, I didn't starve.

I opted for the awkward silence.

I let it hang until

we both have something else to do.

It's not like I'm doing it, though.

It's not like I'm seeking out my father.

Someone told me he died.

I didn't even look into it.

He may not have died.

Right.

I don't know.

So it's not like I live by what I'm telling you to do here, but you seem to see your father

on a kind of regular basis.

I don't see what the harm could be to just try to move past this

blockage that keeps you guys from being close.

But I'm not close to either of them, though.

Well, don't you want to be, though?

Like,

I don't care.

I really don't.

I know I should.

I know it's normal to care, but I don't.

I just don't.

Like, I'm close to Eric and Darren.

Like, those are the two people that I'm like, all right, these are the guys like i don't want i got to be close to everyone in my family are they are the any of the other siblings close to their to the parents i don't think so no no

yeah i i mean i think like maybe darren's closer probably darren's the closest to to them i that's in a way that's like i mean you could be as the oldest you could bring a whole family back together family meeting on sunday you're not seeing your friends eric get in from california i'm not like it doesn't have to be that

I guess it would be at first, but it doesn't have to be life-altering.

It could be just a simple, like, hey, I want us to be a closer family.

I want us to do something to try to

break the.

We're all still here.

We're all still here.

I mean, it's not too late.

Damn, that's good.

Well.

All right, let's say I do that with Pem and Edgar.

There's still one sibling that would be like, I'm not doing anything wrong, and it's obvious to everyone.

Well,

but if you connect on a level that you you have never connected before with your mother and father, no, and if she doesn't, oh, I'm so jelly.

Then you can't, like, you can't.

All you can worry about is your, is mending your relationship with your parents at first.

I'm all right with Pamela.

You know, I'm actually all right with Edgar.

We're just not close.

Suddenly, I'm going to be like, let me tell you my deepest secrets, Dad.

And that little voice, every time, like, you kind of, you mock the fact that, like, of being closer with the man who sired you.

He fucked my mom.

Big deal.

I should be mad at him for it.

Yeah, I should get mad at people.

I would say, dude, before you, I think you got to get yourself right before you go fixing shit with your family.

Yeah.

And I think, look, you know, I think you're the fucking best.

I love you.

There's no question about that.

I just think that you, you know, should get yourself to a place of more peace before you start putting out olive branches.

You know, this was supposed to be aimed at him.

Yeah, but you revealed something about yourself and the things that you attacked

i mean it was perfectly pleasant and loving and welcome like the things that you played listen to this shit

are you hearing this well

you could do a podcast with your father though if you get if you get right with him now that i would sign up to patreon for

dude Yeah, you get right.

I could get on both on a podcast, yeah, and I'd be like, be honest, you two.

You could have worked in

over a podcast though yeah i know they would think that you were doing it for other reasons like you would just want to get them on tape but just don't tell them you're recording it hey you know what you're secretly recording them like they're trump

i'm a rosa

talking to my daisy

what would you want them to say though what could they say i don't want them you're assuming i want them to say something but could they make

if we did the podcast what would we know no no what could they make it

What would they have to do to make it so you were like, well, you know what?

I'm letting it go.

I'm letting the anger go.

I'm letting the resentment go.

I'm letting all the shit go, and I'm not going to be this way.

What would they have to do to make you come to the three words?

We were wrong.

Really?

Pod words about everything.

Does that really mean that?

Pause it, exclamation point, exclamation point.

What's that?

Does that really go a long way?

No, no.

No, my mother is like, she's also, she's like clinically insane.

Like, if I didn't have a witness,

Mary Beth and I were over there, right?

And

we're having dinner.

And it's like a dinner party, you know, like relatives are there and everything.

And at one point, she's like,

like, I made a joke and offended Pam.

She got her feelings hurt.

She joke about her.

Probably.

But it wasn't like it's not anything super harsh.

It wasn't one of a low-hanging fruit joke of it.

No, no, it was pretty.

It was pretty evolved.

It's like next level.

next level mom joke.

Was it about her being a bad parent?

It may have been.

It may have been.

I'll tell you this other joke I made that it was pretty funny, too.

So

she leaves the room and she gets all like weepy and shit.

And I overhear her telling Edgar,

he said he didn't want me in there.

Complete lie.

And there's no way she could have mistaken anything I said for that.

And I hear it, I was like, what?

I was like, I didn't say that.

And she's like, yes, you did.

And now she's trying to fucking gaslight me into thinking I said something I didn't say.

That's the kind of shit that drives me fucking crazy.

I'm like, I'm looking at her.

I'm like, you're nuts.

Yeah, but you think that's it.

Like you're not in the same reality.

She's got a screw loose.

Yeah.

So if you think that, then you can't really hold her responsible for it because.

But that's the only explanation, right?

Is it, could it be a pathological need to not be wrong about something?

Is it possible?

Or to be a victim.

Alzheimer's?

I mean, if you can get Alzheimer's at 25, because that's as far back as I can remember her fucking doing this shit.

Longest case of pre-senile dementia in history.

I don't know, man.

Why don't we get,

I mean, we had this idea five years ago.

Why don't we get a therapist to come in to tell him Steve Dave and sit down with us?

Would a therapist do it on the air, don't you think?

Or would that be unethical?

Sure.

No, it's up to, if it's the environment that he feels he can start breaking ground and he is willingly doing it, then there's no reason that it's not ethical.

I'll see if I can get it to happen.

There's actually a therapist who comes in, a psychologist, psychiatrist.

Which one would he need?

All of them?

A team?

I don't know.

One can assign drugs and one can't.

Psychiatrists can give drugs.

There's a guy who comes in, we call him the doc, and I could ask him if he'd be up.

If he'd be up for

coming in and doing a little therapy session.

I think it's a great idea.

I just don't know if he would benefit, though, in a room when he would have to feel like he's on.

You know, he's got to tell his jokes.

He's got to

make his homosexual comments.

And I don't know if he'd be

getting the full benefit of the

therapy.

I can promise no gay jokes.

Well, I think you should take it seriously.

I would, but

there's something where, like, as people are talking to me, there's like an alternate reality going on all the time where I'm like, this would be funny if this happened.

Or like, what if this were happening instead of...

Usually it's like a boring situation that you don't want to be in.

But you know, but you know.

But the people watching here tonight, you know how much they

identify with you guys and your struggles.

So if they were to hear something legitimate and you don't have to be, you don't have to try to make something funny, I think that it would hit home for some people who are also dealing with some issues.

It would be truly like it could be groundbreaking.

Remember, Metallica did it?

Yeah.

What a therapist in on,

they showed that on, um, yeah.

So, I mean, like, it could be like, we could be like Metallica, the podcasting equivalent of Metallica.

I don't know what I would get out of a therapist being there.

You don't know?

Probably.

Get the fuck out of here.

Come on, man.

What would I get out of it?

You think you've got nothing to work on at all?

What?

This weird turn into, like, first off, not flying under any circumstances.

That can be dealt with if you wanted to, you know.

With what, drugs?

No, not drugs.

No, they have to.

What?

Some pill like...

Oh, so, like, just...

No, no, no, no, not drugs.

Not drugs.

Give me a prescription, Doc, for everything.

Okay.

If you're talking about therapists, that's what people do.

They go through like this therapy where, you know, you slowly build up to getting on a plane, overcoming that irrational fear.

It's not irrational.

It is totally irrational.

You should be more scared to get in a car and drive here than you should be to get on a plane.

Oh, yes, I've heard that analogy countless times.

Right, because it's true.

How have my people say this?

It's true.

How have I suffered, though?

If I were to die tomorrow,

I will have no regrets

on taking the stance of not flying.

I missed nothing that I would be.

Those should be your last words.

There's nothing that I would be like, I'll never say, oh, I wish I would have flew more.

No.

No, but

what will you say you wish you did more?

I wish I started drawing earlier.

That could have been a better thing.

I should have drawn it like three years old.

But no, I didn't take it seriously, though.

I didn't buckle down and really try.

I gave up because I wasn't good enough for over a decade.

I wish I hadn't done that.

Yeah.

Oh, you just stopped stopped drunk?

You're like, I'm not good enough.

Yeah.

I mean, I don't know if a therapist, how's he going to help me with that?

He's not.

Unless he's got a time machine.

How's he going to help me?

I don't know.

You're perfect.

I don't know what to say to this guy.

It's just he's got it all figured out.

I'm happy with myself.

Isn't that what everybody strives for?

Yeah, but those of you know, some people, like some of these people, who know they'll never attain it, like not me, because I will, of course.

But isn't it that what you're trying to get to a point where you're happy with yourself?

Yeah, but like.

And if I'm already there ready if i'm already happy why am i like why am i why am i risking it by going in and having some fucking nitwit tell me that i'm

so i'm going to a nitwit but you know i'm having some so i have some nerd tell me oh no you're you shouldn't be happy and then i'm like why then i'm making myself question why i was happy i mean to me that seems foolish it would be it would be you know i would be curious to see if other people close to you in that family of that that flanagan family if some of them were like because i feel like his daughters are fucking quick and sharp.

It's pretty funny some of the shit they say.

Caitlin had a joke that I was like, that deserved a bigger laugh.

I can't remember what it is.

It's in one of these fucking billion clips.

Well, you know what?

I edited out my laugh.

Not well.

I mean, I heard it.

I know, but I couldn't edit out all the laughs because if I edited out all the laughs and they were talking over laughs, but every chance I could, I edited out a laugh.

So that they...

So it was a little bit drier because I wanted to feel more, I don't want it to feel like a comedy podcast is about a family podcast is wholesome.

Well, why can't it be wholesome and funny?

It can be, but I don't, if it's funny, then it's,

it gets there on its own.

And fuck you.

Fuck you.

Like a laugh track.

My laugh track shouldn't be prompting people to laugh if they're not going to laugh.

Are you making fun of impractical jokers?

Because also.

Oh, we'll tell you when to laugh.

It's when Sal falls the whole time, yeah, until Sal falls.

Do you guys use a laugh track?

No, we are a laugh track.

Oh, okay.

And there was games.

We actually cut laughs out.

We do the same thing.

Really?

Yeah.

You'll take laugh.

You'll still be right?

Because you don't want to laugh.

It's not wholesome enough.

Let's dial it down.

It's like, who needs to hear that?

We need this to be a nice, dry comedy show.

There was a gay joke in Father Flanagan?

You're basically using Bert and Ernie as a euphemism for being gay.

I didn't use it as a euphemism.

I said that they had a relationship that was more than friends.

We were like, ah.

It's a wholesome.

I don't want to come out and say the gay in front of my kids.

Oh, imagine that.

She's only 19.

Both your kids know what gay is.

But I'll dance around it and try to use more

kid-friendly way of talking about it.

So you're approaching a 14-year-old, 15-year-old, and a 19-year-old

with the same approach that Sesame Street uses on three-year-olds.

No, I acknowledge they know what homosexuality is, but I don't feel I need to use the word word.

You failed as a father.

It's so gross.

I don't need to beat them over the head with it with the word, though.

And the listeners all knew what we were talking about.

And we talked about it, and we talked about inclusion, and we talked about the...

But you can't even say what they are.

You reduced gay people to two fucking Muppets.

And you're like, weren't they saying that they're not gay?

Didn't they just come out and say, like, the guy who created them said they weren't gay?

And somebody else was like, no, they are gay.

Well, I didn't.

So the people with Sesame Street was like, no, they're not.

Frank Oz was like, they're definitely not.

I created them.

And some people on the internet were like, they are gay.

They are too gay.

What do you know?

No, he's not.

No, he's not.

But we weren't talking about...

I didn't bring it up to say that it's about anything about the gay lifestyle.

I brought it up to try to tell them if they were worried, like if they were a little confused now that Burt and Ernie are gay.

But they're not.

Well, they weren't, but I wanted to see if they were and kind of use it as a teaching method to like, if there's some parents that were listening who are like, you know, don't worry about it.

It's cool.

You don't need to like lose any sleep over it.

It's

the fact that Bert and Ernie might be a gay couple.

Are you underestimating the audience on a level that they're like, wow, does he fucking?

Being like, you helped me, and I definitely.

Not about the gay shit.

No way about the gay.

They're like, now I use Burt and Ernie instead of saying gay and fucking

my happiness quotient went up by 10%.

And they said that that there were some things that they were thinking about that to deal with their kids and they felt that they did take something out of the conversation.

Again, it's like

there's definitely things to take from it.

The gay thing, I don't think so.

Why not?

Because

why would you use the word like Bert Nerny in place of gay for teenagers?

Because I wanted it to be a G-rated podcast.

I'm not saying that like so gay isn't G-rated?

It's a good word, but I'm just saying I wanted it to think.

I'm saying they're cursed.

That this could play on like

on the 700 Club or something, if the 700 Club did podcast.

It's like a bullshit religious show, like Jerry Orwell, like

kind of thing.

Why would you want to play it a religious?

Why would you want to play it a religious show?

We're talking about religious, but we talk.

Oh, you talked about it a little bit.

It's about his daughters are way more cynical than this.

Yeah.

Way more.

Because they're younger.

I was at that time, too.

I wanted to draw like nuns shitting Hitler babies.

I wanted to, I don't want to draw that no more.

I would fucking love to see that drawing, though.

Yeah, it almost got me.

My wife almost left me over that drawing, though.

No.

Yeah, I told you that.

What is that?

It was like last week.

No, we first got married and we moved into our house and she was unpacking my art stuff and I fell asleep.

And she found this picture and she and I woke up and I was like, what's wrong?

I could tell something's wrong.

She started crying.

She's like, I don't know.

I can't believe you would draw this picture.

And I was just like, well, Brian drew it.

And I had to talk her down.

I I was just like, Look, I might like you know, and it was a nun shitting him, yeah.

It was a nun in an alleyway, and uh, like the umbilical cord was hanging out of her.

It was awesome.

I still have the picture, it's on the border of the uh, oh, really, yeah, I still have it.

Oh, I want to see it.

And there's like a demon Hitler baby in the alleyway, all these needles and everything.

And she's like, Why would a person, why would I marry a person who drew this?

And I was just like, I drew it for a band, they didn't want it.

I didn't want to throw it away in case somebody else would want it.

Do you want it?

Happy anniversary.

but I moved away from that though.

And I, and my girls, like, too, they want, they think like edgy is cool and everything, but you know, as you get older, you realize that, like,

I disagree because in this world, like, being edgy is making a joke that isn't G-rated, right?

Like, G-rated shit, like, that's what everybody wants.

With like, ooh, you want it all.

They want to fucking shut down.

They don't want comedians fucking being like going to colleges because, oh, my God, somebody might get offended.

Somebody's feelings might get hurt.

I'm not sure that people want a wholesome comedian, so I don't know if that's really the case.

Would you agree with that, DeQ?

I don't think people are flocking to it.

IJ's pretty wholesome, don't you think?

I mean, unless you go to a live show,

don't bring him to the new live show.

Oh, my God.

Oh, no, that was even worse.

In terms of not worse, in terms of its.

What would you rate the Garden show you saw, like movie rating?

Well, it's not NC 17.

I wouldn't go that far, but

I don't know, maybe a soft R.

Okay.

This is soft R, maybe.

There's a lot of cursing and stuff.

Well, we always, when we first start a run of the show, there's always a lot of cursing because we're not confident of the material yet.

It's just like a go-to.

Oh, it's like you keep

it.

Right, as we it's like a mental

normal talk comes out because

once we get the material down a little tighter and we find the beats that we like, then all the curses disappear.

Disappear.

yeah.

What about the uh, the jokes about not getting like taking

things that what was the joke about you not getting an erection or getting an erection jealous or something jealous or something like that?

Oh, yeah, you removed that yet?

Yeah, that joke's gone.

Okay, that joke's gone.

That's a crowd pleaser, that's fucking

F.

Oh, yeah, it definitely did.

Yeah, self-depreciating, huge hard dick.

Um, I wish I'll have to go through these a little bit because there's one clip where their reaction to you is, and it's about the gay stuff.

Let me see if I can find it.

Topic three.

Should parents let their kids beat them

at board games.

The clip for this week.

I thought there was some interesting, oh, what you say here is fucking funny, too.

At board games or games while growing up.

This is something that I must cop to.

Caitlin, when you were younger, I always allowed you to win.

You're not the winner you thought you were.

That's what I took from that comment.

And she seemed to be completely like.

You're hearing things that aren't there, though.

Yeah, but no, that's there.

Isn't that what you would hear?

Yeah, I mean,

if I was that young, I would assume that my parents let me win at times.

But I cop to win.

I thought that was a good conversation, though, because I let Sage win all the time.

Now she thinks she's fucking invincible.

Right.

Well, that's what happened.

I said that I don't know if I made the right decision.

So I went the other way with my youngest.

I didn't let her win at all.

Fucking lose her.

I never let her win.

Did you notice the difference?

No, they both are kind of, they're still very un

not very competitive at all.

When I say not competitive, there's not a competitive bone in their body.

And they're annoyed by people who are competitive.

They like it.

But you're competitive.

It turns them off, you know.

Well, I know, I try not to, I tried to, like I said, I'm in a house full of women.

I've tempered that competitive drive almost to the point where I've lost it completely, you know.

There's no need to be competitive anymore.

What the fuck, man?

Like,

I want to do one more live stream where we build you a casket because like you'd like every part of you just disappearing where you're like, I don't know.

What is he?

Is he?

I think he is.

What has disappeared, though?

Where you're like, I used to be competitive, now I'm not, which is total bullshit.

Because if we're playing dyslexia, you and fucking Giddam sit there, like, tenting your fingers and laughing at us right i okay well i'll that's where you see a more competitive uh side of me come out because i've because i i suppressed it so much for so many years at home it just flows out of me so easily when uh when we're playing a game on home steam which by the way

When you create the game and the rules that are running the game, you shouldn't be competitive.

It's the opposite of what you should be.

Like

a dealer in Atlantic City should be just kind of neutral.

Like, I don't care if the house wins.

Just give us some gentle advice.

Yeah, you didn't see fucking like Bob Barker being like, come on, motherfucker.

Come on.

Maybe I would be more

freely giving of advice if you weren't critiquing it from the moment we start playing it until the moment it's over, though.

Because the second you set up the game, that's the way it's set up.

So you come at us.

We're like a couple of fucking abused housewives.

And then you're like, oh, what's wrong?

Well, how come you get him to get all the answers right then?

Because you guys come up with them together.

No, I test them on him and if he gets them and if he gets them right i use them i use them in play i put them into rotation the guy don't even believe uses words that he doesn't know the meanings of yeah constantly what are you talking about yeah what does that mean

and i love the guy fucking 148.

i i i feel um

that

I feel like

in a room with dudes, you know, you can forgive me if I get a little competitive.

yeah of course right oh i don't do it at all you want that fighting spirit yeah are you kidding sage is so competitive so like i have no choice but to like be competitive with her whether it's fighting or arm wrestling or thumb wrestling or any number of things games it's like she wants to win at everything and she but she's cocky like it's made her it made it's made her arrogant where to where like i'll be like hey do you want to do this like i showed her today i was like i'm going to bring her to niagara falls i'm doing a show in syracuse at some point in november No, October.

I don't know, whenever.

And I showed her Niagara Falls.

And then they're like, there's people zip line.

And I was like, and they're like sitting in a seat.

I'm like, you want to try that?

And she was like, yeah, that's cool.

She's like, I'm good at it.

Like, she'll just say she's good at shit that she's never even done.

We did a rap the other day.

She's like, I'm good.

Yeah.

Like, shit like that.

But there's no harm.

It's too much swagger.

But there's no harm in her being confident, though.

Yeah, there's confidence, but then don't you think at a certain point, it's like.

She'll never probably

feel the effects of

rules.

She'll never feel the sting of like being overconfident, though.

Oh, yeah, that makes two of us.

And Father Flanagan said, though, every child is a case-by-case basis.

Some kids need to win.

Other kids maybe need to be challenged more.

That came right out of, like, I could have wrote a book that was so selinkly.

Is that how you say it?

I don't think you're writing any books.

I don't know.

I don't think there was a vowel in that word.

But I summed it up pretty good, though.

I mean, even a professional would have been able to

come up with something better than how I presented it on Father Flanagan.

Every kid's different.

It was pretty good.

I mean, come on, that's trite as fuck.

In fact, your daughter said it before you did.

And you're like, you go, she's like, basically, she's like, yeah, I mean, she's like, I think she treat each kid as an individual.

He's like, I disagree.

He's like, you you should treat each kid on a case-by-case basis father flanagan out

i do want to hear do you remember if the burton earnie stuff was before this that's the last thing i want to do it was before that okay let me see

what did you think oh go ahead i'm sorry father flanagan always is an advocate for he's never gonna don't ever push your kids all right that's

it's like It's like he got like a Dr.

Spock or like

book and like flip to the back where the kids are a little older.

And then Dr.

Spock's like, don't push your kids.

And Walt's like, that's good, man.

I don't fucking appropriate that.

Dr.

Spock's dead.

What the fuck are you going to do?

He's not even like Star Trek's not even on the air anymore.

What was the Burton Ernie thing, though?

The Burton Ernie Thing was great.

It was because.

Before that.

It was before that, even?

No, that's it.

I did it.

Oh, that was it?

All right.

You must have heard about the revelation from the Sesame Street writer about

Burton Ernie.

Okay, so that's when you get into it.

Yeah.

Let it be.

But how would you, girl, let's say you had kids, though, and your kid came up to you and you're like,

what's going on with Burton Ernie?

I saw online, there were some parents who were like,

now I got to explain to my kid.

Yeah, people are.

People are on Facebook.

Everyone on Facebook loves to complain and loves to be a victim.

That's my goddaughter.

That's my fucking goddaughter right there.

I was so proud when I heard that.

I heard the youth is starting to recognize it.

I was so proud when I heard that.

That's good.

I thought I was like Father Flanagan, man.

Fuck it.

Write a book.

Whatever he did, he did it right.

You know what?

I struggled with that.

I struggled with whether I was going to keep that in or not.

I almost edited it.

Good for you.

I almost edited that line out because I didn't want her to be a little bit more.

In a moment of realness.

I didn't want her to come across as an angry asshole.

Or just, you know,

right.

Just right, maybe.

She doesn't have to break a chair when she says it.

But there's a moment when you bring it back to yourself.

Oh, the comics.

Their reaction is

priceless.

It's after that.

How would you do it then?

Good point.

But

you guys know I read comics, right?

Oh my god, that made me laugh when I heard that.

Q, this is a question that I think you'll find interesting.

Okay.

Just ask him.

I bring up the Iceman scenario in the Marvel Universe.

Yeah.

And

I say, you know, there's some people in fandom, comic book fandom, who are who are like,

why don't we just create a new character that's like Burton Ernie?

Right.

Instead of taking an existing character and all of a sudden changing

decades worth of characterization where he wasn't like Burton Ernie.

So why do we, so why does it have to happen?

No, he's using it on you, and you're like, yeah,

I know.

I know what you're talking about.

I put it to them,

but I'm putting it to you now.

Like, do you think it's...

Would you rather see a new character introduced into the Marvel universe that's,

you know, or would you rather, or do you,

you don't care that, like, Iceman all of a sudden now is.

I am not a fan of Iceman all of a suddenly being gay.

Like, to me,

look at

a Midnighter?

Midnighter.

Oh, yes, from the Stormwatch.

One of the fucking most badass.

He's probably the fucking most violent badass guy in the comic.

And that guy is gay as fuck.

And to me, it's just like he was.

conceived as a gay character.

He is gay.

It's part of his character and who he is.

And he's fucking awesome.

Like, to me, it's just like, I don't, why is Iceman gay?

I don't, it doesn't make sense to me.

The guy hasn't been gay, it reeks of pandering and stuff like that.

And I get the argument, like, like, I didn't, because I didn't understand about Riri Williams.

I think I told this story before, where I was like, why do they got to take like a fucking character?

And then they're suddenly like, well, here's the fucking, here's the teenage minority version of the character.

And then I went to that Comic-Con this three years ago and I saw all the fucking people that were into it.

And then the explanation was like, well, she's more popular because they introduced her as that and now they'll make her her own character but she was given a leg up right and i understand that like that to me makes sense but i whatever i don't nor do i care like i fucking iceman whatever it doesn't matter to me anyway but it's just like i don't know man like why maybe there's someone whose favorite character was ice man and he identified with him and now suddenly they just ripped out he's questioning his own sexuality no he's not questioning his sexuality but the character's not the same if you read an ice man comic all it's fucking about is whether he's going on dates and shit like that.

It's fucking crazy.

It's like you can't go a page without him being like, When am I going to meet a guy?

And you're like, Holy fucking shit, I don't even care.

Like, I like he was never about like, I mean, he can I see him shoot someone with an icicle?

Like, that's the part that I don't like, and it's just like it, it becomes this bigger thing than it should be.

And it's all now, that's all Iceman is about: is about him being gay, and it's like, oh, God, come on.

Whereas Midnight, Midnighter, he's fucking awesome.

He was gay.

It felt like a multi-layered character.

That wasn't the only aspect of his personality.

No.

So if it's done right, which Iceman, in my opinion, wasn't done right, then I have no, you know, why would I have a problem with it?

You know?

But Iceman was just so stupid.

Do you think it was like we need to pick...

I don't even know if you can even count him as a major character.

He's there at the birth of the Marvel Universe, but

do you think he was the safest character to pick because

he

is kind of not known in

the Marvel movies?

I mean, he's not a fucking safest.

I don't mean, but like, he's, he's just wasn't as

he wasn't an A-list character ever.

Yeah, I don't know.

I don't know.

Maybe, but they have gay X-Men.

Like, why not run with those?

What's the other?

Is it Quicksilver gay?

Oh, is he gay too one of them's married just got married in the comments that's right you're right so like why not like you have it already like why i just but for me it's a it's a continuity thing because i'm such a comic nerd like you i love continuity i love knowing like this is the history of the character and when you're like all right well now here's an ice man that's like nothing like the ice man that you've known for 50

years or whatever i don't like that But it's got nothing to do with him being gay.

It's just I don't like when a character fucking switches like that.

I just don't.

It's not me.

I don't like Harley Quinn now.

Why am I trying to Harley Quinn?

I like her when she was bad.

I like her when she was with the Joker.

I like her when she killed people with the Joker.

And like now, she's one of fucking DC's biggest heroes.

And I'm like, does anybody forget that the Joker and her killed children?

Like she literally was there when the Joker killed a room full of babies.

And I'm like, well, I'm like.

I don't like her now.

Well, what about Venom?

Do you agree?

It's the same thing.

Venom, I can buy because he he was always from his perspective, was always that he was the victim and he was a good guy.

You know what I mean?

But he was eating brains, though.

Sure, but he still thought he was doing the right thing.

Plus, let's not forget he's infected by an alien symbiote.

You know what I mean?

That's right.

So it's like that to me, I could accept that, but yeah, I read Harley Quinn now.

I get bummed.

I'm just like, oh man, she's lame now.

Do you want to know how Father Flanagan summed it up on his podcast?

I would love to hear it.

I told the girls that

if there was one kid though that um benefited from bobby drake becoming um

character then that has to outweigh a couple of nerds who might get get upset that uh you know i feel that like you know what

marvel's making that move and if it benefits one kid i i mean we should be as a fandom be able to look past it and move on and uh not

hold it against marvel or not that you know i'm not saying that i did or you did, but I'm just saying, but I saw some online trolls

who were upset by that.

Why are people trolls if they're giving their honest opinion, though?

Well, they were saying some pretty hard hopes.

Well, there are

anti-Burton Ernie.

Yeah, some real hard shit.

I don't necessarily disagree with that, but I still feel that

kid that, I don't know.

If that's the case, then I would be like, fine.

But can't you have anything, though?

Like, can't you have anything without benefiting just one individual?

We got plenty of time.

So, what if they're suddenly next season they're like hey jokers you're gay now like all you guys got to pretend you're gay right well start kissing and so now the uh seller wouldn't have to pretend there's no pretending no but the uh but like i don't know man i don't i still don't think it's worth it no no give that give that kid fucking midnighter be like look at how awesome this character is well they create a character that is that takes the world by storm like like you i i don't think it's fair to get up look like assholes who are just fucking he's

a gays fuck him i don't even care about their opinion but like i think there's a legitimate crowd of people who are like i don't like it that's not iceman that's not the ice man i grew up with it's like and it i don't think that they should get

looped in with homophobics and shit like that i just don't like what if it were something more like like say homer simpson like if suddenly homer was gay and that now he's a gay character oh he's bisexual no Why was the other guy, was Iceman bisexual?

Well, Homer was, it would be bisexual, not

gay.

Well, no, what if he leaves his wife?

I mean, he leaves March.

It would be like, what the fuck is going on?

And Constantine, they made him bisexual.

But they didn't take a character that was married and had children.

They took Bobby Drake, a single dude.

And, you know,

in one panel, they were like, you're gay.

But you don't know.

It was literally that.

But we don't know if he struggled

with putting on a mask.

Well, we do know that he didn't because they had thought bubbles.

And there was never a struggle in Aries.

We know for a fact it didn't.

But to get worked up about it, that to me is crazy.

Yeah.

My girls got good heads on their shoulders.

They knew even before I said it that

it was fine.

Iceman was fine.

It was fine.

Or Burger's anything.

It was fine.

But you seem to argue kind of like how Q argued, though.

Because I'm trying to get them to open up a little.

I don't think they need to open up.

Every answer they gave is the answer that one would expect from young girls and not like, whoa, what the fuck?

Like, it was like totally reasonable, rational, in line with like what they're like.

Sure.

But that's

supposed to be my role, though.

That's supposed to be my role.

But that's what he was mad the whole time.

He's mad the whole time that he doesn't get to give any advice because they get every answer correct, you know?

He's like, hey, what do you think of this?

They have nothing to teach.

Yeah.

What's Father Flanagan's doing then if he can't deliver some sort of like wisdom to yeah, but I think the point is Father Flanagan's the one that taught them to be the young women that they are on a subconscious level.

Already

not even a subconscious you raise them

on a practical actual level hypnotizing them and shit.

Like if they're good kids, it's because you were a good parent.

Yeah, they seem like good people, just in general good people.

They are.

They are.

So what's we can we can we can recognize we can recognize our own you can

just like Edgar gets the credit for this

monstrosity

tell Tell him Steve Duke.

Sure.

Woke up to a world on fire.

Burning down in this desire.

Only thing I can see through the smoke is

Woke up to hurricane.

Swept away by the pouring rain.

Only hope that the winds bring me back to you.

Some colours in

the way I feel

they can have their bitter words.

I want something,

I want something

real,

real.

Woke up to a searing pain.

Like something pierced my chest again.

Only thing that can heal my wound is

you.

Woke up to a fever chill.

Don't want or need a pill.

Only thing that'll make me better is you.

Some say I'm looking for my next meeting,

food for thought.

I want something,

I want something

real,

real

to the world on fire

Burning Down in this desire

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